#idek if this makes sense but have some rambles while i log in to work

[assetrisen]

Because @fatherofmachine has got me on my bullshit again, let’s talk about just how much Shaw absolutely respects the fuck out of Harold Finch. (spoilers for POI so that means you Ace)

Shaw doesn’t do emotions as we know, so her saying that she cares about someone generally comes in the form of “well I didn’t shoot you”. But respect is a hard thing to earn when it comes to Shaw, and even John and Root don’t match up to the level of esteem she holds for Finch. 

I always think about the scene in Beta, where Finch is preparing to hand himself over to Decima in order to save Grace, and he literally tells both Shaw and John that “if they harm Grace in any way, kill them all.” And  Shaw’s reaction is just pure perfection, and I think that has so much with how Michael delivered that line. 

Harold serves as the moral compass to the story, the one desperately trying to steer his wayward assassins toward lawful activity, and not the other way around, and Shaw grew accustomed to seeing him as such and that serving as her touchstone when she thinks about her work with Team Machine. Are they doing good? Are they saving lives? Shaw has been told over and over throughout her life that her actions “save lives” but it’s become apparent that’s not really the case. Killing one person might prevent a terrorist attack, or it could create another martyr that incites a rebellion. Everyone has agendas and after the ISA, Shaw is reluctant to trust anyone saying they’re working for the “greater good”. I think the only reason she is willing to join Team Machine is because she sees Finch’s genuineness when it comes to doing good and saving lives. It’s different from the callous nature of the military or the ISA, and with Team Machine, Shaw actually is confronted up close with the immediate consequences of her actions (usually with people thanking her for saving their lives and she just 🧍‍♂️). 

But back to Beta, in that moment, Shaw gets this look on her face and I can’t really describe it, but it’s this realization that sort of removes Harold from the pedestal that she hadn’t realized she’d placed him on. She sees that he has someone in his life that he would turn his back on his moral code for, that he isn’t perfect and this paragon of good, but actually a struggling flawed man choosing to do good every day. And she really appreciates seeing this human, almost feral side of him come out because she respects him even more for it. While she doesn’t understand the emotions behind Harold and Grace’s relationship, even she can see how important she is to him, and how that translates him into being just as cold and unfeeling as anyone else if need be. It makes her trust his judgment even more, compared to the machismo of the Marines and air of infallibility that the ISA always operated with.

When she tracks down Blackwell in the finale, I think it’s really poignant that they used this confrontation as the penultimate scene. At first glance, it might feel like Shaw hasn’t learned anything. Blackwell challenges her and says “Those people wouldn’t want you to kill me” and Shaw agrees (and disagrees, she thinks Root would’ve shot him without a second thought). But I always headcanon that in that moment, she flashes back to Harold’s face and declaration in Beta, how she saw the moment where Finch’s line was crossed, and she agrees that Finch as we saw him throughout most of the show may not want her to kill Blackwell, but the Finch from Beta would have understood why she did. 

She hopes he does.