#idk if this even makes sense but i bought a book about dinosaurs today and MAN i am overwhelmed thinking about them

[rebel-moons]

i’m just thinking about earth’s first attempt at life. and how it was all wiped out and she had to essentially start over. and how there’s no cosmic way that dinosaurs - or any prehistoric life - could’ve conceived of humanity at all. and how humans tells stories about dinosaurs because the earth remembers them and we’re connected by millions of years and the same space rock as our home. how in awe humans are of dinosaurs - to the point of mythologizing them - and we love them because the earth loved them, even though there no way for them to ever return that love. and what greater love story exists than you will be loved by creatures who you could never even dream of existing?

[thisnoodlewritesao3]

Please Don't Say Goodbye | Tsukishima Kei/Reader

Characters: Tsukishima Kei, Reader, Yamaguchi Tadashi

Pairings: Tsukishima Kei/Reader

Warnings: light swearing, crying, implied panic attacks, arguments, yelling, ummm lemme know if I missed anything

Word Count: 2181

A/N: This was meant to be a drabble- okay, in my defence, I've had such writers block and apparently the feels were necessary soooo. This is 1 of 2 fic ideas that were sent to me by @satan-ruler-of-hells for a prompt thing I did (idk if I can find the thing) and the next one is Tendou. So, maybe get ready for more feels of my almost 5 am angst. I also did not proof-read this, sooooo

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How had things ended up like this?

Every little thing was like the calm before the storm - the most tense calm that had ever existed; you were walking on eggshells, and maybe so was he, but you couldn’t help it. At least, you thought you couldn’t. Each attempt to try and fix the mess around you only ended up in more heartbreak.

The storm that always seemed to be headed in your direction had tore apart the home you’d meticulously built together. Plates and picture frames shattered to the ground; glass leaving you walking on bleeding feet. The flowers of your love torn apart somewhere in the distance now. Breath stolen from your lungs, but not from those kisses he’d give you back in high school, not from the way he’d dance with you around his bedroom (only to shove you onto the bed when his brother barged in), not from your outrageous laughter at something stupid that had happened. This was a breath stolen from countless nights arguing, screaming, trying to gain the upper hand in a situation where you were both at a standstill. A breath stolen from your heaving words as you scrunch your hands into your roots, pull your legs close to your chest and shove yourself into a corner while he slammed the door and left to God knows where. Breath stolen from the realization that maybe things just weren’t working like they used to, and that it was okay to love him, but to not be in love with him.

Tonight was just another picture perfect example of why you weren’t meant to be together. You’d come home late from work (because of some stupid assignment that you just wanted to finish today). He was sitting on the couch, scrolling through Netflix for something to watch. Honestly, you just wanted to eat something, so you didn’t bother greeting him, but the moment he noticed your presence in the house, he was hot on your tail.

“Where were you?” His voice sharp as daggers, digging under your skin and tearing you apart piece by piece. His arms are crossed over his chest, eyes so judgmental you feel like you’re in court. Nothing you say is the right answer, so you choose to not say anything. Apparently, that wasn’t the right answer either - this you find out when his iron grip settles on your shoulder and forces you to turn around.

“Hey-” you winced, trying to pry his fingers off.

“Where were you?” He repeated, basically growling at you through his gritted teeth.

“I was at work.” You rolled your eyes, turning your attention back towards the fridge, trying to ease the beating of your heart. In, hold, out. You repeat to yourself, barely remembering what all those instagram therapists had told you.

He scoffed, finally releasing his grip in favor of slamming the fridge door shut, “really? Because the last time I checked, your work ended two hours ago. What could you possibly have been doing for two whole hours?” He was in your face now, making you know how pissed he was.

But you already knew. You’d always known. Why did he need to try and make it so blindingly obvious to you?

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, Kei, I was working. What part of that is so hard to understand?” You snapped back, moving away from him with a heavy sigh. At this point, you didn’t bother holding back the venom in your words. You knew he had issues (and you knew why) but did that mean he should take it out on you? No. Fuck.

“Two hours! Y/N, I was waiting two hours. I was going to take us to dinner, we were going to have a nice time.” He followed after you, closing every cupboard door you opened, trying to get your attention. “But you didn’t even send me a text. Were you too busy fuck-”

“Oh my God!” You yelled over him, spinning around to face him with your pure unfiltered aggression.

Back and forth you went for what felt like hours. Tears were acid down your cheeks, your spit a very special concoction of venom just for him. And yet, even as you were dry heaving in the kitchen sink, yelling more obscenities at him, you could never seem to stop. Neither could he.

Tsukishima Kei was known for a lot of things, being an asshole was one of them. That you knew too well.

For a while, though, things were good. He loved you. You loved him.

As he sits there, accusing you over and over of cheating on him, even though you hadn’t and you wouldn’t. God.

When had he become so anxious and persistent that things were going wrong? Yes, they were going wrong, but not for the reasons he keeps saying. It’s driving you insane, to the point where you can’t even remember those stupid breathing techniques, or grounding techniques, or anything.

This argument had lost the plot at some point around when he started yelling at you for doing the dishes wrong (you still insisted there wasn’t a wrong way to do them). So you bit back that his clothes were stupid, or that dinosaurs were stupid, something. Something was stupid.

“If you have so many problems with the way I choose to live my life, then get the fuck out.” You screamed, slamming your fists down onto the table and pointing to the door. His expression was scrunched up into something completely unrecognizable - a fine mixture of hatred and anguish. His chest rising and falling so rapidly you’re amazing he’s still standing. His hair is a complete and utter mess, so many times he’d ran his hand through it to try and make sense of the nonsense you were both spouting.

“Fine, I will!” He yelled back, voice hoarse from the past two hours.

You watched him head towards the door without a second thought, grabbing his coat, shoving his shoes on. You didn’t have the energy to call out after him, no matter how much your heart begged you to.

And your heart did beg you to; but it had already accepted that the end had been coming for too long.

You lean back against one of the cupboards, looking up at that one crack in the ceiling that he’d insisted he’d get around to fixing but something had always come up.

If you had to say what was wrong in your relationship, it would just be something. Something was wrong, and neither of you knew what it was, but something would be your downfall. Something filled the air with poison and made you destined to hate each other; something danced around in your words and twisted the meaning; something caressed your cheek as tears fell.

Something was your downfall and you didn’t have the energy to fight it.

So, maybe you’d call in sick the next day, and your boss would believe you because your voice sounded like hell; and maybe you’d spend the entire day lying in bed despite the fact your stomach was beginning for some nutrients; and maybe it would feel good to not have that nagging voice that you shouldn’t sleep in all day.

But today would have felt nicer with him by your side.

If there was one thing Tsukishima Kei was good at (after a lot of practice), it was making you feel just a little bit better with his empty promises and sweet nothings.

So, maybe you’d dressed yourself in his shirt and breath in him; and maybe you’d grab that dinosaur plushie you’d bought him for his birthday so many years ago and pull it to your chest; maybe you’d sleep on his side of the bed even though his pillow wasn’t as fluffy as yours; and maybe, just maybe, you watched his favourite movie on repeat, hoping it would bring him back to you.

Those were all maybe’s. But maybe they did happen, and you wanted nothing more than to be in his arms and tease him for his glasses that he insisted were cool. Or to have him laugh at you for the fact you majored in literature, despite the fact you weren’t good with words.

When your phone rang, you didn’t hesitate in picking it up, almost too excited for his voice, “Kei-”

“Y/N…” Yamaguchi’s voice was soft, understanding. It killed your fire of excitement in an instant.

You listened to him talk, something about how Tsukishima had decided you needed a break and would be staying at his place for a little while. Something about how he still loved you, but he didn’t want to keep hurting you like this.

It wasn’t a surprise that you didn’t manage to keep it together and broke out crying all over again, basically screaming and begging for things to be okay. There was no doubt in your mind, if Tsukishima was in the room with Yamaguchi, then he’d heard your cries.

“I���ll be better…” you whimpered, after far too long, “I’ll be nice. A-and… I won’t make fun of his glasses. Or dinosaurs. Please… please, Yamaguchi, please tell him to come home!” You cried out, unsure if you even managed to breathe.

He was silent on the line. You couldn’t take it. The silence, you wanted the noise. You’d prefer the arguing over this.

“I’m sorry…” Yamaguchi said weakly, and you knew how much it was hurting him to say this.

He hung up the phone and you were left as a shell of yourself.

And yet, your life must go on. So, for two months, you pushed your problems to the side and kept dredging forward in the hope that the answer to your problems was in one of these articles. Hoping that your co-worker would tell you some shitty anecdote that would distract you for just a little while.

Yo couldn’t look at your apartment anymore, not as little pieces of him were still littered everywhere.

Only, one day, you came home and he wasn’t anywhere. You didn’t notice it, not at first, but then you saw his mug from your museum visit in his third year of high school wasn’t next to your matching one. And then neither were his books on the shelf in your living room, or under the coffee table. His clothes gone from the closet. Every inch. Every detail. Every bit of him you had left had disappeared in the span of one work day.

And you were left with nothing.

With as much energy as you could muster, you turned and ran in the general direction of Yamaguchi’s house (which was hopeless, considering you had the directional capability of a broken compass and the stamina of a dead horse). You really were hopeless as you dialed his number, ignoring the way the moon taunted you in the sky.

He answered, for whatever reason, and you let out a breath. “What is it?” His tone was even, but something told you he was barely holding it together.

“Is this it?” Was all you could say. Head dizzy as you looked for Yamaguchi’s house - which you just knew was somewhere around here.

“It’s been it for a long time.” He really sounded robotic, like he was reading from a script.

“And you didn’t think to tell me?” Your voice broke as you ran, ignoring the splintering pain in the balls of your feet, “you thought making Yamaguchi say you needed a break, and then disappearing for two months, and then only reappearing to take your things back was the answer?” You cried out.

“You know-” his voice cracked and he stopped speaking. God, it hurt you so much.

“I never wanted this.” Tears were pouring down your cheeks.

“You think I did?”

“No-”

“I tried, Y/N, I tried so hard. But you would never listen to me!”

“I tried too, Kei!” You tried not to yell, and you hoped that it worked.

Some miracle brought you to Yamaguchi’s door, the one you only recognized because of the little frog statue on the windowsill. You pressed the doorbell, hoping for the best.

“I tried because I loved you. And I waited for you, I waited and hoped you’d come back. I-” you ran your hands through your hair once again. “I know we aren’t the best, that something is always wrong, but we can work on this. We can… fuck, I don’t know. You were the smart one…” he let out a low chuckle laced with pain. “But we can work something out, can’t we?”

There was a pause, and Yamaguchi opened the door, shocked to see you. Your breath hitched but neither of you spoke.

“I… I can’t do this anymore…” he admitted, and you felt your heart shatter. “Y/N, this is it…”

You could see Tsukishima pacing in the living room just down the hall, and you know Yamaguchi knows you’ve seen him. His phone pulled away from his face, finger shaking over that familiar red button.

“Please don’t say goodbye…” you called out.

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General Taglist:

@pies-writes-and-more​ @satan-ruler-of-hells @dekuspet @samkysnks @tobi-momo @kaleidoscopekai @elektrosonix @realcube @darkvadeeer

If you want to be added to the taglist, send a DM or an ask :D

[susebron]

ohhhh. maybe... i don't know... all the numbers. yes let's go with all 100 of them

i sincerely hate you and these took forever to answer so you better read ‘em all!!!!!!!! but also thx bc some of these were v nice and fun to answer

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? more cereal than milk bc i came for the cereal, not the milk

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? if i’m in a good mood,  yes. if i’m in a bad mood…. not at all

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? reciepts usually but i very much prefer actual bookmarks; specifically those with a magnet

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? with honey or sugar and lots of milk

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? i sincerely feel confused about how to smile properly??? so i guess a bit. like i can’t smile on order. i did as a kid but if i did it that way now, ppl would Wonder

6: do you keep plants? i had a cactus a while ago called robert plant but he died. my mum is currently keeping some plants in my room tho and i decorated one with some plastic dinosaurs but they are definitely not my responsiblity. i mean, robert plant died

7: do you name your plants? if you read the sixth answer, you would know that yes i do

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? writing i guess. idk it’s usually Metaphorically my feelings but i do make attempts to keep a diary sometimes. it doesn’t go well for long

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? not really

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? i really really really like sleeping on my side. i’m currently forced to sleep on my back and i do not like it

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends? if one shouts sir yes sir then the other one has to shout I CAN’T HEAR YOU PUSSY #tbt @13000ants

12: what’s your favorite planet? tatooine which makes no sense

13: what’s something that made you smile today? leif gw persson was on tv

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? there would be books everywhere

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! neutron stars can spin at a rate of 600 rotations per second

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish? um. macaroni and cheese or pasta salad. NO WAIT milk-stewed macaroni

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? tbh i’m content with my hair colour

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. that one time i thought sydney was in asia #tbt @weeplittlelannister

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? i do! idk i have one more diary-like, one with lists and drawings and shit… but also a calendar with is also somewhat a bullet journal

20: what’s your favorite eye color? what kind of q….. lmao oscar isaac’s

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. my mum gave me aleather messenger box, like a post office bag or whatever and I Love It. it’s tbh never big enough to fit everything but it tries

22: are you a morning person? no 

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? read

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? i was gonna say my grandfather but then i realised there is no way he wwon’t end up telling my grandmother ausifsafa. idk. my stuffed elephant

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? me and william once broke into this storage room where we live. he stole one of those long light bulbs and hit me in the head with it. it hurt

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit? just normal chuck taylors. off-brand tho of course lmao

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? mint or y’know…. bubblegum

28: sunrise or sunset? both

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? i know this says friends but listen. when @sneutrinos talks about physics or physicists he admires… his eyes are like Glittering and it’s endearing as fuck. makes me want to listen (or watch lmao) him talk about it for hours 

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? yes

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. the best way to describe my socks and usage of them is that my nurse the other week when i was getting dressed to go home was like “oh! you’re wearing mismatched for rock the socks day (a day to uplift/celebrate down’s syndrome) and i was like “i guess….. but this is also just how i wear my socks” i very rarely end up having matching socks?? it just??? never happens even if i try

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. lmao idk if this was after 3am but i remember that one time me and @kkruel were ranting about his dorm neighbour showering at like midnight but literally just shrugged it off when the ceiling caved in saihfoasp

33: what’s your fave pastry? pastry is such a loose term though??? there is so much to choose from??? but i’m like really feeling muffins lately

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? i had a bunch but let’s talk about the one stuffed dog i got when i was like six and is still like brand-new because i was terrified of ruining it so i just…. occasionally gave it a pet. nothing more

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? i do, i do. i prefer certain pens, even if the ink’s only black, and i tend to use them more than pencils. 

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now? nirvana unplugged would fit so much i had to go listen to it

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? i mean i like when it’s clean but i don’t mind if it’s messy… as long as it isn’t Messy

38: tell us about your pet peeves! flour

39: what color do you wear the most? um probably blue or black

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you? i honestly don’t really own any jewelry. i do have a watch that i use sometimes but it doesn’t really have a meaning other than that my mum bought it for me during one of our trips to uppsala. so i guess it does mean something after all lmao

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving? i really loved nimona. it was hilarious and amazing

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! idk i really like espresso house because they have really good chocolate muffins but it’s always crowded and overpriced. wayne’s also has good muffins and are usually a bit cheaper, a bit less crowded

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? i guess micah and his dad lmao

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? um probably last tuesday

45: do you trust your instincts a lot? i mean i guess?

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. my mind is BLANK

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? ticks. oh this said FOOD. um. mustard

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? i can only think of my trauma-based fears and they were usually about water and losing my parents??? i’m not sure i’d say either is the biggest fear now, but i still feel really uncomfortable in muddy water

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? p sure the last i bought was highlights from the original french production of les misérables

50: what’s an odd thing you collect? as a kid i used to collect popcorn boxes from the movies? i think i only have lotr ones left 

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? i associate @conradsricamora with conrad’s cover of ain’t no sunshine

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? i like the meme about ted cruz as the zodiac killer but it’s not from this year. uh. i can’t think of a 2017 meme

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? i’ve seen beetlejuice and pulp fiction and i love them both. one’s the perfect funny rainy october night movie and the other’s just… wow

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? idk someone on grey’s anatomy. mum’s been watching it a lot lately

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? gosh idk. i hope nothing too Dramatic

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? their love for their hobbies. like when someone is really intensively into something and it’s so Obvious. i love that

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? it always makes me feel so good. and i mean… yeah…. who doesn’t… 

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? um @itsjustaheartache is the wine mum and @caesarsbuddy is the vodka aunt because…. they just are

59: what’s your favorite myth? um anything to do with swedish trolls tbh

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? tbh i love poetry but i’m a bit picky with it. but i’ll read anything by richard siken

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received? um my aunt once gave me a cp3o pen for christmas. like that was it. i think it was in the 1 dollar bin

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? no i don’t but if i have to, i prefer orange juice

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? i really like them organized but i have so many books that i just.. give up a lot

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? it’s late so probably dark, dark blue. perhaps even black

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? all my friends at this point lmao

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? idk… flowery

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? like it’s time to travel to middle earth

68: what’s winter like where you live? it’s either really cold and snowy or no snow and probably really rainy

69: what are your favorite board games? dnd or monopoly

70: have you ever used a ouija board? no and i fucking never will

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea? rn it’s my pokémon tea that my dad’s gf got me

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it? lmao i definitely need to write everything down which i’ve failed to do lately and i hate it

73: what are some of your worst habits? procrastination

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. gay

75: tell us about your pets! one is satan but also the sweetest??? v interesting mix. she is honestly so good. and the other one is chunk in cat form. also p good

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t? i’m trying to finish my assigned math tasks for today but ashfpsao god damn ebba made me answer all these 100 q’s

77: pink or yellow lemonade? neither? i’m not a big fan of lemonade

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? i haven’t seen the movies so i was neutral… and at this point i’m neutral evil about it. stop it

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? john boyega exists so that was a cute thing of his parents to do

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? blue at dad’s and like white/cream-ish at mum’s…. bc blue felt most neutral and the other one was already there, so

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. sea with a touch of caramel

82: are/were you good in school? lmao

83: what’s some of your favorite album art? um. tbh anything by led zeppelin

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? i’d want some, sure, but i’m uncertain of what. probably something relating to ryan dunn at least

85: do you read comics? what are your faves? it’s been a while since i had time to but i really love captain america, sweet tooth and…. tbh i’m not picky???

86: do you like concept albums? which ones? i love them. esp if it’s by king diamond. if i have to choose one of his, it’s got to be them or abigail tbh

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? the lord of the rings trilogy and the star wars original trilogy. also artifical intelligence

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? resistance

89: are you close to your parents? i mean yeah? in different ways but i’m close to both of them which is v nice

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. it is really neat with beautiful old buildings and lots of book shops. or at least a bunch of good book shops. also actual shops dedicated to comics or gaming. also a v nice tea shop

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? i’m hoping to move to a new city this autumn, so there’s that

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? i don’t get cheese on pasta unless it’s mac and cheese

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most? a luke skywalker inspired ‘do

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? um some family friend on facebook

95: what are your plans for this weekend? um. study, probably

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? i procrastinate. def

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? infp, leo, hufflepuff

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? i don’t remember when it was but i know that i did not enjoy it

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. anything by led zeppelin or stromae. a specific song though is the freshman by the verve pipe

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? no. no. you do not mess with time ok