#idk mannnnn my brain is goofy and i probably react to this type of stuff too much
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ok if even HE said he had abused me, mayhaps i should accept that the situation was abuse. BUT ALSO IT DOES NOT FEEL BAD ENOUGH (sorry pookie if u see this </3)
#silly's ventposting#abuse tw#tw abuse#i accidentally saw a message from a couple months back where he was like “bro i had mentally abused you” or smth#like oop. wow i guess i forgot he said that.#BUT ALSO THAT WAS A COUPLE MONTHS AGO ABOUT THE PAST THEN#THE SITUATION HAS CHANGED TRUST /silly in a i kinda genuinely believe this way why am i like this#like ok the recent thing was probably worse than anything else he had ever done#but like. idk man. he did apologise today :>#(and proceeded to do a tinyyy bit of that again xD but then he told me to leave to do my own stuff before he gets like more like that so#idk that's probably a good thing then)#(and it was only like a really tiny bit. and like he isn't wrong with me being a pushover!!!!!! got that enneagram 9 swag B3)#idk mannnnn my brain is goofy and i probably react to this type of stuff too much#and like my brain is an expert at making me believe whatever in either direction so i can't really trust it so like ehh sure it is what iti#(im gonna ignore that i got outside feedback here XDD)#rahhhhhh#time to write hunter fanfiction as a coping mechanismmmmmmm#like. would it be in character for belos to get hunter to tell him that he's the best?#or smth more belos relevant like saviour or whatever#like. after belos does something shitty to hunter. like hits him or smth. he just then grabs hunter's chin and is like#“tell me that I'm the best. SAY IT”#or again more belos'y wording#“thank me for saving you. SAY IT”#idk i can workshop that#:3#wow this rly went off topic XDD
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