#ie. graduating and prepping to start my internship

[aquaquadrant]

(a hels to pay ask if you're still answering asks related to hels to pay) does bigb have an established hels? if he does, is there any thoughts about what his role (if he has one) in hels is or his negative trait from bigb? Also his name, I could only think of littledd4ta1 (instead of bigbst4tz2) have a wonderful week!

hello there, i’m still answering htp asks! i just haven’t gotten any recently prob cuz i haven’t been posting much (i’ve also saved some for drabbles i haven’t written yet LOL) but rest assured, htp is always on the back burner.

gotta admit, i’ve tried to come up w a hels for bigb before but i’m sorely lacking in bigb knowledge. i don’t watch his vids, i only see him in the other lifer’s povs. but the impression i get of him is that he is fairly reserved and mild mannered, often a loner doing his own thing due to passiveness but remains open and friendly to other’s interactions when they occur, has a generally humorous/good-natured disposition without being excessively goofy, but also has a bit of a weird streak that, when indulged, baffles everyone in the most fantastic way. his commitment to the bit in secret life was admirable. good at improv, not great at pvp.

so ultimately i’m not sure if his hels would be more interesting as an opposite (very social, active, loud, in-your-face) or an extreme (wildly eccentric quasi-enlightened loner). ultimately, i’d want to nail down one or two defining personality traits for him before making that decision.

but i like that name idea! i’d prob tweak it to ‘lil’ instead of ‘little’ to keep the syllables more in line, and sub in ‘facts’ (f4ctz) for ‘stats’ for the same reason. and i might keep the b but make it big (B) for irony. lilBf4ctz1, lilB for short.

open call for bigb fans: please share ur knowledge with me for characterization purposes 🙏

[noheroes-allowed]

10/30

we made little orange lights in chinese class. it was a nice break and I got free 白兔 candy and a free orange so that was nice. apparently the other class with the other teacher only got the candy if their lantern turned out pretty. I tried but it wasn’t lol. but our teacher was just like take them!! and I took three

keith had an interview and got an offer for doing sales at unilever. he says he more interested in other places but the timelines aren’t the same. all the internship talk stresses me out skfjejfjbdsbfjdiksnrnfjd for the love of god pls let me do well in dc PLS I’m gonna study but pls pls pls pls let them like me pls. I think it’s odd he’s looking to do sales though. I mean idk what else he’s looking at but I hate sales lol. I could see him wanting to do it. but he doesn’t seem pushy enough but I’m just basing that on job stereotypes so idk. rochelle offered to help me with interview prep again. but tbh I don’t wanna. lol like I know I need to get better at interviews but like I don’t want fake interviews to prep for on top of the real ones. like it’s just too much. I know I’m contradicting myself bc interview prep is helpful but like ugh.

cute guy came in to eat again. I said hi at the table but we were really far from each other so I didn’t talk to him. also I’m scared of awkwardness. like for some reason there’s an extra pressure I feel not to be awkward around him and that just causes me to not talk to him. oof. I said bye though. and I told him to take a donut and then the whole tray. which he thought was funny. on his way out he turned around and waved and I waved back. but then I realized he was probably waving to amarachi. oops

they had gravestone rice krispies for dessert. which led to sarah and I talking about death and dying. I said I don’t think I’d reach 80, maybe not 70s. she says she’d rather die early like 30 than a little later when she has kids who will miss her. we both said we’d rather know when over how we die. sarah is cool. when I first met her she reminded me of kristy. I’m not really sure why bc they’re not really similar lol. sarah is pretty talkative. I like chatting with her but after our breaks I’m always really tired and I rarely have the energy to talk more so I feel bad.

at break we talked about tomatoes and apples. apparently it’s an asian thing to put sugar on them.

14/95 = .147 and 1/14 = .07 and 1/95 = .01

I’m never gonna be employed am I

I’m still so fucking stressed about classes and mps. everything is all over the place. I met with the director and the person in charge of grads and it was honestly confusing. I think apps are due in oct since I wouldn’t officially be in it until spring. but then he said I should apply in the spring/summer. I’m conflicted bc idk how I’m gonna get recommendations. he also said I didn’t have to have gre scores and nowhere online does it say that. like that’s really great but could someone pls update the website and just make it more accessible in general pls. he also said there’s a possibility of not getting accepted which 😳 like what if I start half the program in the fall and then get rejected what a big rip. also if that happens I don’t think I’d want to graduate early. ie I probably want to graduate early and travel but that wouldn’t happen so I’d just end up taking more classes my final semester.

I was supposed to have a phone interview today at 8:30. it’s 9:02. it basically ruined my day yesterday bc I was stressed that entire day. plus it ruined my sleep. I love thursdays bc I get to sleep in. and bc my nights are chill. but I didn’t today. and I have to prep for my interview tomorrow. like this was severely unprofessional. and not nice to my instability