#if its to control and manipulate people out of fear is fucking brilliant

[someinstant]

So I think I'm going to do episode-by-episode rewatches, and type up some reactions as I go on my second viewing. Since I know we're early days yet, I'll put stuff behind a cut, but just know I'll be talking generally about what happens in each episode of ANDOR, Season 2 as we go!

So let's start out with Episode 1: One Year Later.

Thoughts:

My joy at hearing the Time Grappler’s gong was immense.

I love, love, love Niya’s conversation with Cassian. She’s marvelous. I want her to make it out. And Cassian’s so kind—and also manipulative. He’s very good at this. No wonder he’s Fulcrum, yeah? That line: you’re coming home to yourself. You’ve become more than your fear. He means it, yeah? And he’s also said it before.

Actually—

I wonder if that’s Nemik. Oh. I want that to be true. I think I’ve decided that’s true: that’s a line from Nemik, and Cassian uses it when he’s got to talk folks off ledges.

And then we go from delicious competency porn to—ohhhhhhh shit I did not study for the right part of this exam. I have seen this look on too many of my students’ faces. Cassian. Baby. My darling perfect boy. You’re so fucking bad at this.

I laughed so fucking hard, I cannot lie, because this is what it’s like whenever I try to play any sort of game with a fucking flying sim. Just—me crashing wildly into every possible wall while I try to figure out the gimble and controls and failing every which way. I actually really love that the first thing he figures out are the guns. That tracks. Good pilot—assuming he knows what he’s flying—but a fucking great shot.

I dig that Bix and Wilmon have an awesome sibling-esque relationship. I was worried that Wil might have some resentment towards Bix given how his dad died, but—they’re great together. I love the teasing about Wil’s girlfriend and their ease together on Planet Monoculture.

Which—

Honestly, the deep shots where the background blurs into the horizon are my least favorite thing in this episode. It feels very Volume-like in its un-place-ness, if that’s a sentence that makes any sort of sense. And what I think ANDOR is usually really brilliant at is creating a sense of specificity: this location, this group of people, this part of the galaxy, this moment in time. And Planet Monoculture feels unmoored. And perhaps that’s what the director is going for—the creation of an idyll—but I didn’t love the soft focus.

Krennic’s just going full-on Eagle’s Nest, huh? Clear your schedules everyone—we need to gouge out the heart of a planet so we can make a lens for something! Don’t worry what for. Just help us figure out how to handle the genocidal stuff.

Side note: that mining that they’re going to do on Ghorman. I wonder if that’s what they did to Kenari. And I wonder if this is going to be thematically resonant moving forward.

At least the catering is top-notch when you’re planning a genocide.

On one hand, ANDOR is the story of a deeply talented and competent individual finding their feet within a revolutionary movement. On the other, it’s a story about Cassian Andor having the worst fucking day of his life for five years, repeatedly, while simultaneously meeting a bunch of Characters Who Keep Making Things Worse.

I’d hate these fucking dipshits so much if it wasn’t so much fun to watch Cassian be pissed as hell at them.

You know how Saw lumped Maya Pei’s ���New Republicans” into that long list of Rebel groups that were “lost—all of them, lost!” in season one? I get it, Saw. You’re not wrong, my man. These guys are idiots. Luthen needs to vet his rebel GoFundMe lists a little better, because I wouldn’t be sending these dudes shit.

Kleya is so pissed she’s at this goddamn wedding. Just killing the drinks at the open bar. And—she and Vel were definitely something at some point, right? I mean, there is LITERALLY no other way to read that look that Vel gives Kleya, correct?

AND TAY. My man. You are going through it, huh. Wife gone, money gone, everybody gossiping— none of this is good. Pull yourself together, my dude. But before we can deal with THAT situation, here comes Mama Skulden to let us know that Leida and little Lord Fauntleroy have had their first fight. So Mon hits pause on the Tay situation, because of course she does, she has to!—but man, that’s a mistake.

Oh, Leida. Yes. He’s a child. And so are you. And Mon—that “I’m so, so sorry.” It’s not enough, is it. You sold your daughter for a rebellion.

Meanwhile, Cassian has to listen to the Dipshit Brigade argue with loaded weapons while their blood sugar is low, so obviously a shooting match breaks out and now he’s being frog-marched off under blaster fire by some idiots who fucked up his whole day.

Basically, the best part of Cassian’s day was the part where the cute mechanic-turned-double-agent at the Imperial facility suggested they were flirting as part of their cover. Literally the only time my man got to smile. The rest of it has been stupid TIE Advanced controls and chaos and dipshits in a jungle.

But even if Cassian didn't get to, I smiled a LOT, because fuck it, MY SHOW IS BACK AND I LOVE EVERYONE EVEN FUCKING DEDRA.

[argentumcor]

Jurassic World Dominion and the Failure to Understand the Themes of Jurassic Park

That's right. Jurassic Park has themes. Crichton has been accused of constantly rewriting Frankenstein, which isn't quite true- State of Fear is not that; I recommend that book if you're in the mood for something that makes fun of the spirit of our age in a delightfully mean way. The movies changed a lot but they maintained his core themes pretty well- until Dominion, Fallen Kingdom's, uh, narrative incoherence aside (should have been about Owen, not Claire again).

What are the themes of Jurassic Park? In no particular order and probably not exhaustive:

Science cannot solve every problem.

Man is very bad at being God and when we try, people die horribly.

Humanity is not capable of understanding, let alone controlling, complex systems, and needs to respect these facts.

Nature is mean.

Materialism has made for a really shitty ethics system, to say the least.

You can quibble, but Crichton and the JP movies aren't subtle. It was brilliant to make Ian Malcom so much to take personally, and someone who likes to say "I told you so" too much to take action, because he is right a lot but is clearly not an author's pet and has the moral flaw of not acting before bad things happen.

Jurassic World has a lot of flaws as a follow-up, but it imperfectly maintains these themes until Dominion, where it precedes to blow them up. The owners of Jurassic World can't help to keep dabbling in forces they can't understand and the raptors are still dangerous and smart and not something to toy with. It doesn't take a lot for the park to go to hell really fast.

The first part of Fallen Kingdom is dumb. Claire is not the sort of character who would go off to care about "dinosaur rights", which was deeply stupid, and all her big and pretty well executed character development happened in the first movie. It should have been Owen's story, with them being together and him getting talked into going back to get the dinosaur he has an emotional connection with.

The part with the little girl, Maisie, is more interesting and fits the themes better. It comes to light she is a clone of old man Lockwood's daughter, who passed away young, and that Hammond split off from Lockwood (no relation to the young handsome ghost hunter hero) because he saw this as an abomination. Which it is. Maisie herself is not an abomination- she's a person- but her conception was.

Maisie was created as an object. Her 'grandfather' wanted to defy death and bring his daughter back to life. He did not want Maisie; he wanted his daughter. That he might have grown to love Maisie as herself does not negate what his goal was. It's twisted. From the moment of her conception, she was treated as an object- the same as the dinosaurs, hence her sympathy for them (Owen and Claire still should have told her letting them out was really stupid and wrong, because it was; people died). The process to create Maisie and the Indoraptor showed no respect for the natural order.

Now we come to Dominion.

Humanity has been mucking around with forces beyond its ken again, using a materialistic ethical framework that has gone badly wrong again and is going to get worse. Locusts, you imbeciles...the people who advised the use of fucking locusts must have been the products of a post-modern educational system.

Of course, Dr. Wu in his newfound and much, much belated ethical torment concludes he can fix this mistake of genetic manipulation with even more genetic manipulation. Super easy, barely an inconvenience (seriously, it was harder to flip the circuit breakers in Jurassic Park than sort out this locust mess).

Do you know how they sorted out Jurassic Park's mistakes of genetic manipulation in the book? They firebombed it. Because its creation was hubris of the highest order and its hazard was incalculable. It needed to be eradicated. And it still didn't solve the problem, because the raptors got off the island (and started spreading a mysterious disease). Science cannot solve every problem. Indeed, humanity cannot solve every problem. Some things are beyond our control, no matter how much we try.

My theory is that in 2022, the themes of Jurassic Park were...disallowed by the Hollywood zeitgeist for multiple reasons. The very big one, occurring during filming, was the pandemic. To say that something like a plague of locusts could not be solved by science would be...a message that would not be allowed. I have no idea if there were rewrites. Also it is long disallowed to find materialistic ethics systems wanting, though these days I feel entertainment dares to dabble in the shallow end of that.

The thing that really gets me about Dominion is the retcon of Maisie's origin, or rather the motives for her origin. Her mother (genetic twin sister) had her made...to be able to give herself a second try after her genetic disease killed her? To experience being pregnant before she died? To claim she was a mother (notice no man at all in the picture, so the kid would have no parents)? As a genetic experiment about super extra special gene modification?

None of this is better than the original version of Maisie's conception, but it is framed in an intensely sentimental fashion. Maisie is the product of something twisted, she was made as an object for someone and not a person, a child, and this should bother her. Her learning to live with that being the reason people had her made is more interesting than her learning oh, the woman she is the clone of was her mother and wanted her to go out and truly live and now she's just okay with this.

I think Crichton would have really enjoyed exploring a character with this problem. It's common in super soldier narratives and such, so it isn't wholly unexplored. Dominion just opted skip out on the...casual cruelty of Maisie's conception. The fact that it was mankind acting like it was God, with the best of intentions, and treating a human being as an object to be used for its own ends (legacy, betterment of mankind, vague and unfulfillable desire to be a mother because she would be dead, pick your motive) from the moment she was conceived is just glossed over with weepy girl-power sentiment.

This all neglects the bad pacing and other issues with Dominion. It's just such a post-modern movie, where before the franchise hewed to a pre-modern morality. It makes me mad because Jurassic Park said something important about science and humanity's role in the world. Dominion offers sentimental "mankind can do anything" mush that isn't true and hurts more than it helps.

As a species, we are capable of amazing things. But we are not God. Life and death are not ours to command. We cannot fix all problems we face. These are not simply moral opinions, these are laws of the universe with perhaps greater rigidity than that of gravity. Humility in the face of this benefits us far more than charging in to muck about with nature as if we can control it utterly- or to batter other about as if- if they would just do x, y, and z- everything would be perfect. It also prepares us for the bitter shocks of life, because we understand that we simply cannot control or even understand so many things.

[crimsonrae]

Alluring Studies

Summary: AU Practicing high level spells at Brakebills was nothing new to anyone, and neither was the trouble it led to - but for one first year student, she would have to answer for indiscretions with her favorite professor. Magic Professor!Henry. Magicians crossover sort of.

Henry Cavill XOFC

Warning: Nudity, Student-teacher relations, and mentions of fellatio.

Rating: Mature

A/N: I just finished watching the last season of The Magicians and I’m both happy and heartbroken. I had a small what if thought about Henry being a Brakebills Professor... hope you all enjoy. Non-beta’d and really just trash, but I’m posting anyway. I may delete it later or add another part. I’m debating.

Alluring Studies

It was so intoxicating.

The heady thrum in her veins felt like home and hot tea and ice cream – everything good. It felt right. Magic felt right. She couldn’t believe how long she had lived without it, had been blind to its presence. Discovering Brakebills...

Well, Brakebills discovering her had been a gift that she wouldn't trade for the world. Who wouldn’t choose magic? Who wouldn’t choose this school?  

Or its teachers, a small voice whispered distantly and a vague image of her phosphoromancy professor danced behind her eyes.  

Professor Cavill was a dreamboat and a slave master. Strict with each of his pupils in a way that a father was strict with his kids. It frustrated most of the students to be treated like children by a man that was barely a decade their senior... but she relished in his attention. She had come to live for his quiet praise with each spell she mastered and lived in fear of his hearty admonishments when missteps occurred.  

She wondered if he was as strict – as demanding in bed. A hot string of want tinged between her swelling petals, invoking her magic. She suppressed a moan as that comforting thrill spilled into her fingers, warming her soft prints as she began to cast on the library rooftop. The Physical Kid’s Cottage was too loud and rambunctious for her to concentrate enough on these spells... and partaking in the wild mesh of alcohol and incantations was too tempting for her. She was sure that something would go horribly wrong.

A small cloud coalesced before her. It's fine vapors twisting and writhing as it grew and flashed with new colors.

Plum.

Crimson.

Verdant.

Sapphire.

So pretty. So brilliant.

Thunder rumbled from the forming nebulous startling her faintly as her fingers flinched. 

That had been a mistake. 

The cloud grew exponentially, falling from her control as wind whipped around her body in a horrifying spiral. Her colorful fun, now twisting into something larger, darker, and more dangerous.

Her heart spiked as she tried to regain control. Her hands moving double-time as the first shape of a funnel spiraled below.

Fuck.

She had made a fucking tornado.

Air sapped from her lungs, in the face of her error. The rainbow whirl now bloomed further up into the sky as it’s pull became even stronger.

She made to scream, but by some miracle it stopped. The writhing smoke stilling with the wind before shrinking down into nothing but a wafting mist. She blinked, unsure what had happened to stop her dangerous blunder.

“That spell is beyond your skill. It was stupid to attempt it unsupervised.” A crisp British lilt rebuked from behind her.

She closed her eyes at the sound, feeling mildly horrified to be caught by a professor... by this professor of all people. Heat rose to her cheeks as peaked over her shoulder to see reapproving cobalts staring sternly at her as he finished his casting.

Long, strong fingers danced gracefully in the air as he wove his spell. Disappointment laid heavily between them and yet all she could think about was how she wanted those fingers to dance in her. The man was a walking sex-bomb and she longed to detonate him. The anticipation of his recriminations only made her want it more.

“You’re lucky I was walking past when I did.” Professor Cavill chastised as he waved off the last of the vapors, “Weather manipulation is difficult to begin with, adding in phosphoromancy without adequate training is simply suicide. You could have been torn apart.”

“It felt right.” She defended weakly as she turned to face him fully. It had felt right, her fingers had moved with a mind of their own, merely following the whispers of the circumstance.

Professor Cavill hummed as he eyed her with an arched brow, “Until it didn’t.”

A humiliated flush burned her blood as she snapped her gaze away, unable to disagree. It had felt right and true and beautiful until she had lost the thread. That steady thrum had turned wild...she hadn’t been prepared for that...had been scared by it.

Taking pity on her, Professor Cavill sighed and murmured quietly, “You got rather far for a first year before it went tits up. Control will come with time.”

“I had it.” She replied woefully as her gaze slid woefully back to his stunning face, “It felt so right, so good...almost -”

If it were possible his brow arched higher as an amused glint sparking his orbs at her sudden hesitance. He supplied for her, “Almost orgasmic?”

Her embarrassed flames flared, and she tried vainly to ignore the warm twitch from her core as she silently agreed. Still, she smiled wirily, “Something like that.”

“Then I suggest you simply get laid next time or rub one out.” Professor Cavill intoned dryly, “Doesn’t usually result in death.”

She stifled a gasp at his coarseness, not used to hearing the usually mild manner professor be so blunt. Her stare narrowed almost challengingly, “Was that your remedy? I’m sure your hand grew quite cramped – surprised you can do spells then.”

Far from being insulted, Professor Cavill grinned at her, “Not as cramped as some people's mouths.”

She gaped slightly, her eyes falling unbidden to his crotch. Her mouth watered with desire as the thought of tasting him suddenly seared her mind. Only his faint chuckle brought her back to her senses as his fingers pressed beneath her chin, firmly shutting her mouth before tilting her head up, “Don’t beg like a dog, my dear. Simply ask.”

Her thighs clenched under the faint command in his rich baritone. For a moment she forgot that he was a teacher, and she was a student. They were both adults and she’d be a fool to pass up a ride on this beautiful beast, to fully study her master. His thumb pressed upon the slump flesh of her lower lip, teasing the flesh down as he eyed her darkly. Promise lingered in his sapphire gems, calling to the dark desires in her heart.

A shuddering breath stole from her lungs as her delicate fingers wrapped around his wrist, “Please.”

Henry smiled slowly, “Please what?”

“Fuck me.” She whispered, “Please fuck me.”

“Someone’s angling for an ‘A’.” He murmured teasingly as he flicked his gaze down her curves in sinful consideration.

He devoured her body with a single glance, and she was hit by that heady thrum again. Magic soaked the air like an opiate, enhancing her arousal as she soaked her panties.  

If she had been wearing any.  

A cold breeze caressed her skin and she glanced down to find her clothes now gone. Her gasp had him chuckling again – she hadn’t even seen him cast.

His hand trailed a fiery path down her throat to her taut breast. He hummed thoughtfully as he pinched and twisted at her pebbled nipple, enjoying the way her silky skin licked his palm. It had been some time since he had slacken his lust. 

She moaned like a wanton whore, leaning into his touch as she reached for the buttons of his shirt.

Yet, Henry denied her and twisted her tit harshly, making her cry out before he forced her to her knees. She stared up at him tearfully from the exquisite pain as he cooed, “I do not reward foolish behavior and you were foolish tonight. Suck me off and if you’re good, then I might let you feel good.”

Her nectar flowed like a river at his words, even as her stomach clenched with a bewildering mix of arousal, shame, and horror. And yet, she found her nose nuzzling the growing bulge in his trousers as she whispered, “Yes, Professor.”

She missed Henry’s dark smile at her instant submission... He had found his new toy for the semester. Now that was what he called magic.  

[ladyeliot]

Aftermath

Request: This is a request that @mycosmicparadise​ asked me for a long time ago. Sorry, sweetie.

Pairing: Tony Stark x Avenger Female Reader

Summary: After the events in New York, the team reunites to carry out the mission to get Loki's scepter, but things go wrong and your mission changes completely, now you have to go after Ultron, but you find yourself unable to keep your powers under control.

Warnings: Angst, Mentions of abuse. 

Word count: 3972

A/N: Avengers Age of Ultron. Some of the dialogue is taken from the film. Sorry for my spelling and grammatical mistakes, English is not my native language, I am learning.

Reader's powers: She is a powerful empath, as she can sense and manipulate other people's emotions. Proficient unarmed combatant.

Hydra, Research Base, Eastern Europe.

You felt like your insides were full of hate and rage, every person you met through the thick forest, the only thing they felt when they saw you was dislike, mixed with the anger of wanting to get rid of you. Your powers worked because you kept your own emotions under control, but it was a constant struggle, as you used to feel inside you the emotions that others possessed and that made your insides filled with every negative emotion.

"Shit!" you heard Tony through the relay you had inserted in the back of your ear.

"Language!" Steve instantly rebutted him.

You held your position through the thick forest of Sokovia, Hydra's base was on top of a mountain, or rather it was the mountain itself, for around it they had built a rather impenetrable base that you wanted to access in order to get the Sceptre that you were unable to take from Loki at the time. Numerous clearly trained soldiers were trying to stop you in your tracks. Jarvis had informed you that the building was protected by an energy shield, which was against you as it was the most advanced technology you had seen in any Hydra base of operations.

"Loki's sceptre must be in there," Thor announced, as you guarded one of those soldiers under your body rendering him completely unconscious. "They couldn't have those defences without it."

You ran across the field trying to close the gap with Natasha, who was a few metres ahead of you, Clint following.

"Okay," you said staring at one of your targets and getting him to lower his gun to tackle him, "so what do we do?"

"Wait a second," Tony interjected. "No one else is going to deal with the fact that Cap just said "language?"

"I know," Steve replied, making your eyes roll at the distraction they were causing in the middle of the mission.

The graze of bullets was almost audible through your body, it seemed to go on forever, you had been going on for hours and all you could manage to do was run into more troops sent by Hydra to hold you in that quadrant of the forest. Natasha was trying to get rid of two guys who had tackled her, you turned to her and stared at one of them but just as you were about to make the mental connection something that you barely noticed made you fall to the ground.

"What the hell?" you exclaimed getting up again and looking around you hoping to find the cause of it.

"We've got an upgrade," Steve informed you.

"Wait, you don't call her 'language'?" Tony complained at the situation. "Okay, I'll tell her. Language!"

At that instant a muffled shout from Clint sounded behind you.

"Clint!" Natasha had effectively freed herself from the two henchmen and you both headed towards Clint, who had been shot from a bunker. "Clint's hurt. Can someone take care of that bunker?"

As if Natasha's words were an order, Hulk appeared out of nowhere to overwhelm the small building and the soldiers inside. You stood up and turned your full attention to your surroundings while Nat continued to perform the necessary treatment to alleviate the blow that your companion had received.

"Clint is in bad shape, he needs to be evacuated," Nat reported over the transmitter, as Thor and the Captain instantly landed next to you. "I can take Barton to the Quinjet," Thor replied and focused his gaze on Steve. "The sooner we leave the better.

"Copy that," Steve replied for both of you, but at that moment he noticed your face.

"Roger that," Steve replied for both of you, but at that moment he noticed your face. "Are you all right?"

You nodded, returning to an introspective position beside Natasha.

On the ride home, silence flooded the Quinjet more than ever, the mission had finally succeeded but it wasn't really in the air, it wasn't felt inside any of you, even though Stark had proposed a victory party.

The following days nothing had gone as planned, the analysis of the sceptre that Stark and Banner had carried out, more than an analysis it was a reconfiguration of a network of neurons that they had found, in order to create an artificial intelligence. Artificial intelligence that they used in Stark's secret 'peacekeeping' programme called Ultron, designed to allow the Iron Legion to operate independently. That brought some trouble, when at the end of the Party he showed up to personally attack you, well rather, the whole of humanity, as Ultron thinks the best way to save Earth is to eradicate humanity, he might be partly right.

"Ultron is gone," Banner's voice echoed within the four walls of the lab, "he has used the internet as an escape route."

"Ultron," you whispered to yourself, as one hand covered your face thoroughly.

"He's been all over. Files, surveillance," Natasha explained. "He knows more about us than we know about each other."

As the conversation continued to escalate, emotional energies radiated through the atmosphere, and you picked up on every one of them. Negativity, gathered together with worry, confusion and concern took over your body, you still felt a resentment from the attack you experienced three days ago in Sokovia, which managed to heighten each of the sensations. You closed your eyes as you hid your face with one hand and the other voices became ominous, frustrating your senses. Natasha was the only person who seemed to notice your situation, stopping the voices with a "guys", but just as they stopped, a small laugh from a completely distracted Tony typing on the computer made you burst.

"You think that's funny?" the hand hiding your face disappeared to give way to hard features and a raised, gruff tone of voice, Tony turned and looked at you a little quizzically, but you could see a hidden smile.

"No," he said indifferently. "It probably isn't, is it? This is terrible, it's so..." again his laughter tackled him, causing you to be completely confused and your frustration to grow. "I know. It's so terrible."

"It's just as terrible that you're taunting all of us right now with your fucking arrogance," you said approaching him.

"No," his tone unlike yours seemed pleasant and friendly, "It really is funny, just like it's funny that you don't understand why we need him," Tony closed the distance with you, positioning the two of you in the middle of the lab, his voice had completely changed it was just as gruff as yours.

"Tony, maybe this isn't the time," Bruce interjected in a melodic tone.

"So, a killer robot was what we needed?" you reproached, lifting your chin to position yourself against his height. "The shield that was supposed to free us from alien threats frees us by wiping out all of humanity, yeah, really brilliant."

"Remember I put a nuke through a wormhole?" he rebuked you, recalling for the umpteenth time that night the event in New York. "Tell me, how did you plan to win that? What was your damned solution to get rid of that damned hostile alien army that came through that wormhole in space?"

"Together," Steve interjected quickly, causing Tony to look away from you and back at Steve.

You made the air rush into your lungs offering you some relaxation, instigating your mind to let positive memories come to you. Your differences with Tony were known, your understanding of his views was limited, a fact that generated the occasional verbal conflict between the two of you, let's just say you couldn't stand each other more than you deserved.

The night was long, mostly because there was hardly any rest after planning what you were going to do to stop Ultron, which led you to South Africa.

"She should stay," Nat's whisper reached your ears. "The mission in Sokovia has left her with  aftermath she has yet to overcome."

"Oh, last night was a aftermath?" Tony from the pilot's seat added to the conversation. "Nice."

"You know I'm here and I can hear you?" you asked without opening your eyes from your seat. "I'm coming down, worry about you guys that..."

"Okay, listen," Tony stood up from the command post. "I may regret saying this but I agree with her. I think you should stay here with Banner. Keep you two company. Get to know each other better. You know."

"Why don't you stay here, Tony, and get to know Banner better?" you opened your eyes and looked at Tony, but thought for a second. "Well, I'd better not, lest you get the bright idea to create Ultron's sister."

"He's an only child," Tony countered your irony.

"The roles are split," you added as a definitive point. "I'll take the girl, you take Ultron."

From a mountain fortress to a ship in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. You entered its interior, a quite feasible target, when in fact what you all feared lay within. Darkness fell over your pupils, the smell of dampness professed in every corner.

"You're with me, aftermath," reported a voice from behind a suit of armour. "Stay sharp, this guy is made by me."

The long corridors soon took you deep into the heart of the ship, they were as eager to run into you as you were to run into them, so it was only a couple of minutes before you were reunited in a vast maze of iron catwalks.

"Stark is a sickness!" exclaimed that robot called Ultron.

"Ahh, Junior," Tony posed in front of him and his two enhanced companions, "You're gonna break your old man's heart."

From that moment on things happened too fast for a clear description to be made. The corridors seemed to lengthen as you tried to keep that enhanced girl, Wanda, away from the others. She was powerful, trying to play with your mind and you with hers. It was a battle of mental endurance, if you could keep your mind blank and safe from all the negative things she was trying to make you see, you could keep going. It seemed doable, you seemed to have it under control, you had freed yourself from the transmitter that kept you in contact with the others to avoid any external distractions, but none of that was enough when a new enhancement came into play making you lose your balance completely, you felt the emptiness flooding you, as if your body was falling unchecked into the darkness.

A halo of light circled over your eyes making you recognise what was around you, you had escaped, you had fled from that ship thousands of miles in space and time. A figure that you recognised instantly was in front of you, smiling at you, raising her hand to caress your face, it was the figure of your mother, she was laughing, but with each laugh the atmosphere became darker. The main living room of your house appeared before your eyes, but it seemed totally neglected, the furniture was worn out, there was dust and mould in every corner, your mother was prostrate on the floor and a figure without a face was on top of her beating her, you heard the screams of a little girl, they were quite familiar, they were yours. That scene began to repeat itself over and over again, reliving your childhood, you fought to try to change it, but you had no control over it or over your mind at that moment, time after time the pain invaded you and although you tried to stop it, it became impossible again. You had entered a loop, you had lost track of time and space, you couldn't run away from it. Your own mind had become part of it.

Your ears only picked up your screams and those of your mother, you kept your eyes open but your vision was not able to see, you fell to your knees wherever you were in reality and you stayed there, until someone managed to locate you.

"I got her," as a faint whisper drifted into the scene you were living. "Okay. You're safe, I've got you."

As if you were again falling into the void your body rose into the air, and the darkness once again hovered over you, causing all your limbs and your brain to go into a deep, eternal sleep.

Without really knowing where you were, you could hear a faint hissing sound that came more and more strongly to your senses. Light broke through your eyelids, which were struggling against their will to open. Familiarity with the space made you realise where you were. The whistling sound was coming from the air hitting the Quinjet, for all was silent inside. You sat up slowly, the mental pain was suffocating, not only because of what you had seen and what you had been through, but because you could feel the same sensations all around you.

You sat up, covering your face with your hands and hiding it between your legs trying to pull yourself together, but at that moment you felt someone kneel down right in front of you and put a hand on the back of your neck.

"What can I do?" Tony's voice sounded cautious, but there was really little he could do in those few square metres of anguish, so you just shook your head. "Okay, look at me," you shook your head again not wanting to have direct access to any more emotions at the moment, "Look at me. Please."

Your breathing was rapid and your heart kept shrinking, causing a lump in your throat that almost prevented you from breathing. You couldn't extract everything you had inside you, nor could you find the calm you needed to let him go, you were afraid to look at him to interfere with his feelings and manipulate them by offering him yours, you were also afraid of acquiring his negative emotions and adding them to your own. But still you felt his hand go to your chin and he gently lifted it up to catch your face in his gaze.

"In a couple of hours we'll be in a shelter," his face was close, his fingers held firmly on your chin. "Do you think you'll be okay?"

A subtle nod is what you offered in reply, Tony nodded as well and took a seat right next to you after having moved closer to Barton. 

Your breathing was rapid and your heart kept shrinking, causing a lump in your throat that almost prevented you from breathing. You couldn't extract everything you had inside you, nor could you find the calm you needed to let him go, you were afraid to look at him to interfere with his feelings and manipulate them by offering him yours, you were also afraid of acquiring his negative emotions and adding them to your own. But still you felt his hand go to your chin and he gently lifted it up to catch your face in his gaze.

"In a couple of hours we'll be in a shelter," his face was close, his fingers held firmly on your chin. "Do you think you'll be okay?"

A subtle nod is what you offered in reply, Tony nodded as well and took a seat right next to you after having moved closer to Barton. Those two hours seemed endless, you kept your hands pressed to your temple trying to forget what you had seen, but more so what you had felt. Tony, along with Barton were the only ones who had not suffered the effects of Wanda Maximoff's mind control on you on that occasion, it was evident from the physical and mental state of the other teammates.

Tony stayed by your side for the entire 120 minutes, worried and afraid that everything that had happened was his fault, and it was all coming back to you.

"Stop," you whispered trying to get Tony's attention.

"How?" he whispered and bent his face closer to yours, which was resting on your hands.

"Stop flogging yourself, I've had enough of the others," you pleaded a little rudely, unable to control yourself.

"I'm sorry," he placed his palm on your back, but an uncomfortable gesture from your shoulder caused him to remove it a second later. "I'm sorry."

A couple of hours later, the Quinjet took up position on a large greenish esplanade, the greenest thing your eyes had ever seen in your life. In the centre was a small cottage, cosy enough for anyone to see. Tony held you firmly, as it seemed that your body would fall if he let go. You went inside together, a hospitable warmth surrounded each of your limbs causing you to get some peace in you after hours.

Time seemed to have taken its toll on your senses, as you barely understood half of what was being said around you. But everything changed when two children entered, bringing joy and life to the room, it was the most comforting thing you had felt in weeks, the innocence that each of them possessed was like a breath of fresh air to you. You gently removed your arm from Tony's shoulders, murmuring "I'm feeling better," and he returned an "Okay" with a still worried look on his face. Actually Barton's idea of taking you there had been really successful for all of you, except for Thor who left, but for the rest of you it was something you'd never been able to contemplate in your lives, kind of like what it would be like to have a family.

Sunset was near and the view from that wooden porch surrounding the house was charmingly soothing.

"You look good," Tony appeared behind you with his hands in his pockets and perched next to you, leaning on the railing.

"Thank you," you said, looking back up at the grove of trees that loomed before your eyes. "And thanks for earlier."

" For what?" he asked with confusion in his voice.

"When you tried to reassure me on the Quinjet," you said without looking at him. "And... I think it was also you who took me back."

"Yep," Tony put his hand to the back of his neck and turned to you. "The truth is, that process would have been a lot more feasible if you hadn't gotten rid of the transmitter, it would have saved me a lot of time."

"I know," you ducked your face, but a small smile appeared on it.

"Do you want to talk?" Tony's voice seemed somewhat hesitant after stating the question.

"No," you shook your face, letting the last rays of sunlight fall on him. "Do you want to talk?"

"What do you feel?" he answered your question with another question, ignoring it completely. "What do you feel inside when you feel us?"

"I feel what other people are feeling," you explained, looking at him for the first time. "If I concentrate I can feel what you're feeling right now, or what Steve is feeling, or how the Hulk feels when he turns."

"How?"

That conversation you'd had on several occasions in your life, but at no point had you had it with Tony, you hadn't been close at any point, closeness you could find in Natasha or even Steve, but not in Tony, that's why that moment was peculiar, as well as comforting.

"It's easy when my emotions are in control," you turned your body towards him and leaned against the wooden railing. "I just have to look at my target and focus on how he feels, knowing that whatever is inside him I'm going to feel it too," you focused your gaze on Tony's eyes, "for instance, right now you're remorseful about what happened with Ultron, but you also feel misunderstood because no one understands your point of view, you're also melancholy about being in this place, a little envious about discovering the life that Barton has, and..." you paused slightly as you discovered one of his feelings, but you chose to ignore it, as he seemed to be really nervous about the process of analysis he was undergoing, "embarrassed because right now I'm feeling the same way you are.”

You offered him a slight smile, which he himself returned a little nervously at the exposition you had offered him, Tony was a very rigorous person when expressing himself and this had completely thrown him off.

"That..." he put one hand nervously to the back of his neck while the other was hidden in his trouser pocket. "Great, I guess it's nice to know I'm not empty. But well, we'd better keep this between us."

"Of course," for the first time you felt a little satisfied with your task just done, it was nice to see that this person could shed his pride on several occasions.

"Well, I'd better go and help Rogers chop wood," he said, standing up beside you and scratching the bridge of his nose.

" Yes, he certainly looks like he could use your help," you commented wryly as Steve had little difficulty chopping wood in one fell swoop.

"Yeah," he shoved his hands in his pockets and slipped out of the place as quickly as possible.

Within a minute you could feel him perch next to you again, leaning his body on the railing and looking at you.

"That's all you found?" he asked with a frown and gesturing nimbly with his hand, a gesture that denoted nervousness. "I mean, there was nothing else."

"What do you mean?" you frowned as he did, looking completely puzzled, since you already knew what he meant.

"Well..." he scratched the back of his neck again, "Do you usually do this to me? I mean, have you ever gone inside my head before to see how I'm feeling or have you only done it this once? Is it usual?"

"Do you really think I want to know what you keep in your head Tony?" you asked holding back a laugh at his reaction.

"Okay," he gave a long nod biting the inside of his lip. "And there was nothing else you said?"

"Do you want me to try again? Maybe I can find something else," you offered humbly, knowing what he wanted.

"No, it's... all right," his words were accompanied with a step back, putting distance between you and him. "It's all right. I'm... going to go help Cap."

"Okay," you bit your lower lip as you watched him disappear behind you again. behind you again.

You watched as Tony walked over to Steve's pile of firewood and picked up an axe to imitate his movements. You remained in your position, keeping your gaze lost in that grove of trees that made you feel so calm, but it was very easy to catch Tony's gaze watching you from his position. He knew that you had felt it, because perhaps it was one of the emotions that was strongest inside him at that moment, but evidently you didn't want to expose it out loud, and let him know that you had discovered it. Yet there it was, and it was going to take you too long to forget that feeling, because it felt too good to let it go.

Taglist Open (DM)

MAIN MASTERLIST

[mellowdreamer]

HOLDING OUT FOR A HERO VERSE.

this is a modern bending vigilante/hero au featuring zukka, mailee, yueki and a lot of hijinks!

the gaang are all 16-19 here, because while bruce wayne apparently has no problem with it, i’m not comfortable with having vigilantes who haven’t yet gone through puberty.

the avatar world is just one big city, and each of the nations/cities are different suburbs of the city.

kyoshi island, ember island, and boiling rock are small islands off of the city, similar to singapore’s sentosa island.

the city (republic city? i dunno, get back to me on this one) is full of heroes, vigilantes and villains alike. the fire nation is a criminal empire intent on taking over the city. the avatar is a hero who works to keep the balance of heroes and villains in the city, and stop the entire city from becoming a war zone. 

however, the avatar disappeared 100 years ago, and no one was chosen to take up the mantle since. in the avatar’s absence, the fire nation was able to begin its quest to take over the city.

the heroes of the southern water tribe that were left after the various raids have left the southern water suburb on a mission to defeat the fire nation or die.

hakoda, alias chief, left his two young children in charge of their territory, despite them being a) children and b) relatively untrained.

katara, alias painted lady, is the only waterbender left in the southern water tribe. sokka, alias captain boomerang, is the only trained combat hero left in the southern water tribe. all those remaining are either children or incapable of fighting.

side tangent: when sokka does well, he calls himself “grand marshal boomerang” and when he does badly, he calls himself “private boomerang”. thank you to the crimily for coming up with this one!!

one night, when katara and sokka are out on patrol, they get chased by fire nation goons into the ice off of the southern harbour. there, they get into a fight over sokka’s sexist remarks and katara’s yelling having attracted the fire nation goons, and katara’s waterbending gets out of control. she breaks open an iceberg, only to find someone in there.

the two siblings approach the iceberg and break the person out. they are shocked to find a young boy in the unmistakable uniform of the avatar, resting next to a creature they’ve never seen before.

they wake the boy up, to find that his name is aang and he’s the next avatar. and that he has no idea of the fire nation’s quest to conquer the entire city, or the fact that the air nomads – heroes that didn’t resign to just one area of the city – hadn’t been seen for the same hundred years that he must’ve spent in the iceberg.

katara and a reluctant sokka take aang back to the apartment building where the remaining southern water suburb residents have been living and introduce him to everyone.

later that night, the three go out on patrol together. it’s a quiet night, and sokka thinks they might actually get through it without any incidents, until they find a woman being mugged.

sokka and katara are about to intervene, but aang takes down both thugs in a matter of seconds. aang, ignoring the slack jawed shock of his friends, asks if they could go penguin sledding. katara goes to agree, but is cut off by the shout of “MY HONOUR” from a nearby rooftop.

zuko, alias dragon prince, runs from the rooftop before they could find him. his father ozai, alias firelord, had sent him and his uncle iroh – formerly dragon of the west, now retired – to find the avatar. zuko had been banished from the fire nation territory years ago, after speaking up about a plan that would’ve cost them a whole division of goons and refusing to fight his father in an agni kai.

the kyoshi warriors are similar to the birds of prey or the amazons; they’re an all-female crime-fighting unit not directly associated with any of the kingdoms or nations. suki is their leader, and they don’t have secret identities like the other heroes.

iroh, bumi, piandao, jeong-jeong and p*kku are all retired heroes and a part of the order of the white lotus.

toph is the blind bandit and a hero, albeit a less morally structured and ‘good’ hero than the avatar, the painted lady, and captain boomerang. she was a part of the underground fighting ring ‘earth rumble’ when the gaang infiltrated the ring looking for intel and convinced her that her powers could be used for something better than beating bitches blue and making bank while doing it.

azula is firebolt, and she is as brilliant as she is terrifying. she’s arguably more feared than the firelord, mainly because she’s the one who frequents other areas and actually goes on missions. ozai just sits on his stupid throne and yells at people and manipulates his children like the little bitch he is.

mai and ty lee are azula’s sidekicks, and are known as blade and tightrope respectively. also: they’re lesbians, harold.

yue is a part of the northern water tribe’s group of heroes, alongside her family. they tried to marry her off to hahn and have her trained in healing instead of fighting, but she rebelled and threatened to go out on her own, so they relented. yue’s hero alias is tui, but she will be called sailor moon at least three times.

jet and his freedom fighters are a group of anti-heroes who aren’t afraid to hurt innocent people in their pursue of ‘justice’.

zhao is a villain who works for the firelord, under the alias admiral, and he’s an asshole. using the yuyan archers, he manages to capture aang and takes him to a fire nation stronghold. zuko finds out about this, and not wanting admiral asshole to get the upper hand, dresses as the blue spirit for the first time to rescue aang.

during the siege of the north, zhao “kills” yue. she fakes her own death and disappears into hiding until the final battle, in which she kills zhao because it’s what she deserves.

the gaang know that yue is alive, because she’s nice enough to not do them like that, but they have to keep up appearances. because of this, sokka amps up the heartbreak and clings to suki a lot. that’s why a lot of outsiders begin to think that sokka dated yue and is dating suki, though in reality yue and suki are dating each other.

zuko and iroh, after the siege of the north and a trap set by azula, disappear into hiding and decide to take refuge in ba sing se, knowing that the fire nation wouldn’t think to look for them there.

ba sing se is a section of the city that has been fenced off in order to prevent an influx of heroes and villains. the dai li, who keep a tight grip on the suburb and ensure that the residents don’t know of the war raging outside the walls, are a group of “heroes”.

of course, the fence does nothing to prevent zuko and iroh, the gaang, and later azula, mai and ty lee from entering ba sing se and turning it into their own warzone.

iroh fulfils his dream of finally owning a tea shop and zuko, when not working in the tea shop, spends his nights lingering in the shadows of ba sing se as the blue spirit.

sokka, desperate for a warm drink and something to do while the others do their bending training, wanders into the jasmine dragon one afternoon and is served by “lee”.

neither know the other’s civilian identity, so there’s no shady business, just pining over the cute customer/server. sokka strikes a conversion and the two begin flirting chatting. it’s going really well, and you can almost see the romance blooming.

and then in walks azula, flanked by mai and ty lee, all in costume.

sokka and zuko both leap up from their seats and into fighting stances. both are confused as to why the other jumped up, and then azula calls zuko brother and it clicks in sokka’s mind.

he starts yelling at zuko for a lot of things, including yue’s “death” which is how zuko realises who he is. zuko starts yelling back because he’s only once met a fight he didn’t like. in the background of this argument, iroh is trying to fight azula, mai and ty lee to varying degrees of success.

it’s funny that i say degrees, because this is when azula sets fire to the jasmine dragon. iroh grabs the two dumbass arguing teens and shoves them outside as he too runs, telling zuko to meet at their rendezvous point at sunrise.

azula, mai and ty lee chase after zuko and sokka (who are still arguing as they run from the three girls). mai and ty lee don’t want to chase them, because zuko has always been better to them than azula, but defying azula would be a death sentence.

sokka pulls zuko into a building for coverage, and because azula is azula, she summons the dai li and has them surround the building. there would be no leaving without confronting the dai li, and thus zuko and sokka are trapped.

sokka confronts zuko and basically asks how he could justify the fire nation’s villainy, how he could support a monster who’s killing hundreds of people. zuko defends his father blindly because he’s been raised to believe that his father is right, that his father has to be right, and this southern water scum is wrong. but zuko’s losing his grip on the argument and is becoming more and more hysterical but sokka is so calm, so sure of himself, and the dam finally breaks.

zuko crumples to the ground in tears, and now sokka’s gotta deal with this because ozai is a shitface and has been brainwashing his son for years and wow fuck the fire nation.

mai and ty lee, having taken down the dai li, burst in to find zuko crying his eyes out in sokka’s arms. they teasingly ask if they’re interrupting something and laugh as zuko next to sprints out of the building, sokka hot on his heels.

this is the last straw for zuko, who defects from the fire nation, hangs up his dragon prince uniform and fully becomes the blue spirit, a hero who works with the gaang to eventually take down the fire nation.

also, at some stage zuko rescues a turtleduck that got stuck up a tree. don’t ask me how this happens.

[surejess--arc]

TASK 001: MUTANT FUCKERY !

what is your ability?

fun lord with clown physiology

what is your character’s government-assigned classification level?

level four. she can essentially bend reality... and the past and the present, as long as it’s fun to any kind of third party. that said, at inspection, she does not look entirely human, but she’s far more passing than most level two.

what can you do?

use all silly powers, master cartoon physics ( fun lord is the highest form ), grow stronger through laughter, make people burst out into song, induce a party, attack with any weird forces, and fully control the plot ( amongst other things ). however, before this... ‘i’m you but stronger’ side of her mutation was unlocked, she simply had clown physiology -- that said, she is a master of all powers related to that.  she’s a class act with hilarity, and definitely the power she has the most control over (otherwise her audiences would literally fucking die). she’s also very good at controlling the simpler ones – card generation, balloon manipulation, prank intuition, performance art intuition. and, although she no longer has much use for it, malleable anatomy and pain suppression are both skills. her final few years in kappa (or barnum depending on hf timeline) did her one favor: introduce her to the miming variation, thus meaning she can mime any action and thought waves will will it to happen in real life (such as miming a gun and shooting – if she wants to, it can actually have the same effects as an actual bullet). she has her own pocket dimension to keep weaponry – both real and gag – within. she is more bound to the laws of cartoon physics than she is to the laws of nature, thus making her very existence more... comical (for example, you best bet that if she got slammed through a wall, it would leave the perfect silhouette as opposed to a gaping hole). they don’t all apply to her, but... so many do...

and a few other things that are just silly and goofy and creepy! in addition, although not due to her mutation, very acrobatic – being part of a traveling troupe can do that! she can also technically leave clown form™, but why would she ever give up the powers just to look like someone who doesn’t make bold fashion statements? ALSO, lest we forget her alien mind… love it for her…

what can’t you do?

since she’s only had the fun lord fully unlocked for a few years, she has not nearly mastered those abilities. she’s always had a touch of cartoon physics, but things like manipulating logic ? creating paradoxes ? controlling the plot ? yeah, she’s got no fucking clue. ( for fun lord reference -- just because it sounds so broad, but... i would not choose a power that is broad over fun, think about the looney toons and fleischer brother cartoons (betty boop, popeye, koko the clown) and how they can completely manipulate their reality. there’s also this one toon i was shown in my animation class last year... so sad i can’t remember it, but the characters made the author change the plot. so fun stuff like that ! ) she’s generally good at not just fucking building bombs, but every now and again… a balloon will almost go ka-plow! rip :-( she’s also got a pretty immense fear of using her miming, but that… you know, stems from mutant caterpillar trauma… how they chopped off her limbs for that one to see if it was reality warping or she really did need to action it 😔

what are your weaknesses?

well, she always looks like a clown with one pink iris, so jot that down. ( that said, very lucky in that the clownery aesthetic lends more towards e-girl than it does ronald mcdonald. ) in addition, mentally blending in with the people who surround her is not very easy. it takes a lot of work to pretend to see the world in its real hues as opposed to some brilliant vibrancy, a la ‘ldn’ by icon lily allen. there are also some people who are just boring who her super fun powers won’t work on 🙄 then there are also all the fun lord powers, but you know...

how did you first come to the realization that you were a mutant?

she was born looking a little bit different, but it was chalked up to a kid with some human genetic defect. after suspicions increased, driven by weird-ass magic clown shit, she was shipped off to go live with some carnies and be their local clown ! then she told a not-funny-at-all joke that accidentally made half the audience literally laugh themselves to death :\ so like... that was confirmation... as for fun lord, after extracting some of her dna to inject into kian to see what the hell happens, an upgraded mutation??? was unlocked. she was working beyond the realm of clownery, working beyond the realm of regular cartoon physics ( mastering them, instead ). there were times that she could swear... she was contacting her creator ! someone named may ! and, upon release, there were times that she would say any ‘i wish’-adjacent statement and... it might just happen. nothing grand scale, but she could say ‘i wish i had chosen rye instead of pita’ and history would rewrite itself.

if given the choice, would you remain a mutant? why or why not?

mhm ! can it be difficult ? for sure. has it presented a lot of obstacles and torture, whether the hf timeline keeps kappa or i move to an original affiliation ? yea :\ but the world must be a dull place...

what do you hope to see change in the future, with respect to the current strife over mutant acceptance? short-term? long-term?

some legit comeuppance. while she would never join the damned -- hierarchies and organizations just aren’t her thing! ( hf doesn’t count by reason of not being a group that relies on the standing of mutants... and by reason of being headed by january with her as the right-hand ) -- she does agree with the part of their cause that basically says: humans gotta take responsibility or get fucked! ( but so do mutants who helped :\ it’s so messie :\ )

[musical-in-theory]

Caught in the Crossfire

Chapter 1: Dealing with the Devil

Wilbur took a deep breath as he stepped out into the crisp night air. It had been a few days since he had last come out of the ravine Tommy dubbed ‘Pogtopia’. The cramped space between the walls and the stale, dim lighting were already starting to take their toll on him. He felt it in every time the arrow wound on his shoulder ached. He felt it in seeing the emotion slowly fade away from Tommy’s expression. 

He slid his favored beanie off his head and carded his hands through his, frankly, tangled and grimey hair. Even during the war for L’manburg, Wilbur prided himself on keeping up appearances, looking like the leader his men needed him to be. But now as he gazed up at the stars he hadn’t seen in a week, appearances didn’t seem to matter near as much. 

Wilbur laughed to himself bitterly. Because, well, that wasn’t quite true, was it? No, appearances mattered even more now just in a new way. He could feel himself wearing a mask every day, and he could feel it slipping now. He wore the mask of the General, the President, the guy who always had an answer or a plan. He wore it for Tommy and Tubbo. They needed to know that he was still in control of the situation. Or at least, they needed to think that he did. 

In truth, Wilbur hadn’t had control of anything since that damned election started. Every step of the way, his oh-so-brilliant plans slipped from his fingers like sand, and he watched his sandcastle kingdom crumble in front of his eyes. His plan to have a single party election? Dashed away by Quackity and George. His plan to have his old friend JSchlatt come to his aid? Went up in hellfire. His plan to just rest for one fucking moment in the country that he poured his everything into? 

Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes. Gods, he was tired. So tired. But he had to keep going. He wouldn’t allow himself to give up. He was the man that won against Dream, a metaphorical god amongst men. Losing to one of his oldest friends… it won’t happen. The only question left was how far was he willing to go. 

Wilbur sighed and thought back to the boy who was currently sleeping soundly in the ravine beneath his feet. He wanted to use the same tactics he used to end the first war, but those tactics had nearly cost him his little brother. Wilbur shuddered as the image of Tommy close to bleeding out in his arms crossed his mind. No, Tommy wouldn’t be the one to sacrifice anything this time around.

He needed a plan. As much as he would have loved to put off making one and just adjust to the new situation, he knew that Tommy would ask about it sooner rather than later. Wilbur couldn’t afford to not give an answer when he did. That’s why he’d taken the risk to come out of the ravine in the first place. He thought maybe the change in scenery would help him think. In Pogtopia, it almost felt like there was a fog surrounding his head and clouding his mind.

He was wrong, of course. “Although it’s not like that’s anything new,” he thought sarcastically to himself. The breeze reminded him of the chill that was ever present underneath the ground. The moon provided about as much light as the lanterns did. The worst part of it all is that the steady drips of stalactites and the creaking of their wooden paths were merely replaced with the chatter of crickets and the hiss of the occasional creeper. 

Wilbur hated the sounds of creepers. The hissing was a precursor to the dreaded crescendo of an explosion waiting to happen. It was an omen of needless destruction coming soon. It all rattled in his head, ravaging any thoughts that fought to survive in its torrent. He was a man of melodies, not senseless noise.

“Well, look what we have here. A bit of a bad time to start taking night walks, don’t you think Soot?” A hooded figure jumped down suddenly from his hiding spot amongst the tree branches. His posture radiated an arrogance that could only be attributed to one man.

“Dream.” Wilbur’s eyes narrowed at the masked man. He took a few steps back and felt the pommel of his sword dig into his palm. He silently cursed himself for not staying vigilant. Just because Schlatt’s men had given up on their search didn’t mean that he was safe. 

Dream could easily see the fear and tension present on the former general’s face. He chuckled a bit, but most of it was muffled by his mask. “The one and only.” He stalked over to Wilbur and began circling him as a predator would his prey. Dream didn’t even have a weapon on him, and yet they both knew who had control here. Wilbur couldn’t help but think that this must be how the Dream team felt during Manhunts. 

Nevertheless, he tried to stand his ground. “What do you want? I highly doubt the mighty Dream is prone to midnight walks alone outside of your own territory.” He put as much venom into his voice as he could muster. Fearful or not, Wilbur couldn’t forget how he put an arrow in his baby brother.

“What do I want? Oh come on, Wilbur. Don’t be so predictable. But I guess I’ll humor you a little.” Dream began walking away from Wilbur, then stopped and turned back. “Well? Are you coming or not?” 

Wilbur knew that nothing good could come from indulging in whatever conversation Dream wanted to have. Wilbur may have been the better wordsmith, but Dream held the authority and could manipulate their discussions in whatever way he wanted. He knew this, but Wilbur realized that for the first time in at least a week, the noise and the fog had disappeared. 

Before he knew it, Wilbur was walking alongside his old enemy underneath the trees. They remained in a hesitant silence for a bit, or at least Wilbur did. Dream seemed to be perfectly comfortable leading them to some unknown destination. Dream side-eyed his new companion. “You’ve been gone for too long, President Soot-”

Wilbur cut him off quickly, “Not President anymore, I’m afraid.” He schooled his expression in a vain attempt to cover up how much it stung to hear that title again.

Dream laughed. “You’ve really given up that easily?” Wilbur opened his mouth to refute, but Dream continued, “Doesn’t matter. I’m here to change that. Like I said, you’ve been gone for too long. The Wilbur Soot I fought against didn’t just lie down and accept his fate when things got tough.”

Wilbur glared at him. “Is that what you think I’m doing?” 

“I think that you’re lost. You’re lost in your own head, confused and wandering around until the right idea comes to you, instead of going out and finding it. When I said that you’ve been gone for too long, I didn’t mean that you’ve been away from L’manburg. I mean that the you that never stopped coming up with ways to be a legitimate threat to your enemies has been gone. You let yourself get complacent in your position. Now that it’s gone, you’re floundering.”

Wilbur shook his head. He hated to admit it, but Dream actually had a point. In their war against each other, he had plans, backup plans, and adapted to every situation that was thrown his way. Getting thrown out of his country should have been child’s play in comparison to having the ground beneath his feet blown to smithereens. Yet here he was, struggling to come up with anything.

Something was still stuck in the back of his mind, however. Wilbur walked a bit faster and stood in front of Dream, effectively stopping them both. “Why should I even trust you? Only a month ago, you wanted L’manburg dead and gone. Now you want to convince me to take it back. Sorry if I’m not buying this whole ‘altruistic’ act, you’re putting on.” Wilbur spat.

Dream laughed again. “I never said there weren’t strings attached. Soot, you and I have a common goal now. You want Schlatt out, and so do I. I signed a treaty with you, because I trusted you to uphold it. And I know you trusted me to do the same. We are men of honor, in that way. Schlatt is way different. Destroying L’manburg was out of the question the minute the war was over. Consider this to be damage control.”

The masked man casually walked around Wilbur and continued on their predetermined path. Annoyance shot through Wilbur as he stood watching Dream’s retreating silhouette. When did it get so bright? He looked back towards the darker part of the forest, the part closer to Pogtopia, before catching back up to Dream. 

Wilbur had to squint a bit to see Dream next to him. He didn’t think he’d been walking for too long, but it must have been morning with how light it was becoming as well as the rising temperature. Dream seemed unaffected, but it was always hard to tell with the mask and the hoodie. 

Dream turned a bit to face Wilbur. “I’ll say it again, Soot. You’ve been gone for too long, and Schlatt’s already ten steps ahead of you,” he said as he stepped out of the woods. The light nearly blinded Wilbur as he looked out at the scene beyond the cliff he stood on. L’manburg was on fire. The flag was burning into ash with stray flames finding their way to the wall. The wall itself was haphazardly torn down, as was his beloved camarvan. Everything he fought for, everything that he used to make a home was being destroyed before his very eyes. 

Amidst it all, Wilbur could see three people standing near the flag’s base. One had a torch. Time felt like it stopped all around him as he saw that it was Fundy, Niki, and Eret. His son, his best friend, and the traitor that started it all. 

Wilbur fell to his knees as the smoke and dust swirled around him, intermingling with the fog that had enveloped his head since he first stepped foot into that godforsaken ravine. His once home burned in front of him, and yet no warmth could breach the ice that invaded the ex-President’s veins. 

He flinched as a hand on his shoulder brought him out of his stupor. Wilbur looked up at Dream. Although he couldn’t see his face behind the mask, he could feel his eyes trained on him. “All that work, all that sacrifice, and look where it got you. Powerless and watching from an outsider’s perspective.” Dream took back his hand and leaned against a nearby tree. “I never took you for someone who just waited in the wings, letting things happen all around you. Are you really the same guy I fought and lost against?” 

Wilbur tore his eyes away from the destruction of his nation and let them fall upon the masked man. Something dark and ugly settled into his chest as the weight of Dream’s words hit him. Was he the same person? Did he even want to be? The Wilbur that won his nation was the same man that lost it so easily in his arrogance. 

Dream must have sensed his confusion because he continued on, “You can be better than that. You can become what I should’ve been in order to take back what is rightfully yours. I’ll help you learn from my mistakes, but in exchange you’ll need to follow my orders to the letter.” He pushed off the tree and held out his hand toward the fallen leader. “Do we have a deal?”

Wilbur’s mind screamed at him to not take the opportunity in front of him. It shouted at him accusations of Dream’s imminent betrayal. How many times had people turned his backs on him already? His own son had even taken the trust Wilbur placed in him and tore it to pieces right in front of him. 

But that same line of thought kept him desperate for any sort of help, any sort of assistance that would be offered. Even if the one offering was an old enemy. Wilbur’s eyes hardened in his resolve, and he lifted his hand to meet Dream’s. He helped Wilbur to his feet and promptly shook his hand. The voices fell silent, and a bitter smile found its way onto Dream’s face. “Alright then, shall we get started, President Soot?”

“With pleasure.”

Thank you so much for reading! I’m going to work hard to get the next chapter out soon. Thanks to @the-ruler-of-rabbits for beta reading this for me!

Taglist:

@obsidiancreates @strawberiitea @coindoesstuff @unlikelypaperwitch @marysueoc @crazymecjc @ducklingqueen @idkhowbutimgayer @whydoilovesomanyvillians @anne-the-historian-ish

Let me know if you want added or dropped from the taglist. My inbox is always open!

[sanktagenyas]

ok so i finally watched those last three episodes. i said buckle up it’s time to suffer and by the saints did i ever suffer. i just knew the darklina scenes were gonna be rough to watch. it was already rough reading the scenes as they were written in book one. i mean the darkling just shines with his intelligence in that chapter, doesn’t he? threaten the man she loves? well the other man she loves? check! tell her she betrayed you when the reality is you’ve been telling half truths all along and didn’t trust her to make her choices? check! 

buddy this isn’t how you apologize. in the show itself it’s pretty much the same back and forth that leads nowhere. you lied to me! you ran off because my mother told you i’m not who i say i am without giving me a chance to explain! you’ve been lying or bending the truth since we met! YOU TURNED YOUR BACK ON YOUR COUNTRY!

by that point i was just like chill the fuck out man you’re about to decimate many many countrymen and you know it. i loved that the stop they made was all about him getting revenge on the man who attempted on alina’s life, that was very unhinged of him and i was HERE for that shit but everyone else in that port? every other woman and child and man on that port? not all of them played a hand and he just went ahead and had them slaughtered without batting an eye. and it’s not like he has some kind of safeguard for grishas does he? how does he know there’s no grisha wherever he’s expanding the fold? some could be in hiding because they fled, because they didn’t want to serve the king. oh well he doesn’t really care about those people does he? we all saw how he spoke about those deserters to arken.

also he could NOT handle alina’s harsh truths about how his own actions are harming grisha close to him even though he claims that every choice he’s made was to protect them and empower them. when she brought up genya i was like yes you better look down you motherfucker! you did this to her, you delivered to her abuser over and over. 

we saw his backstory, some of it and he acted out of grief and rage. he toyed with magic he did not understand and of course he didn’t intend this but his reaction to the fold once it was all said and done was definitely foreshadowing what he was to become. i created something he said defiantly. you created something you don’t have control over. and now he’s done it again somehow, he’s got brand new creatures following him at the end.

i actually felt for young aleksander for losing the woman he loved but the arrogance and the recklessness he showed there is still the same arrogance he has now. he thinks he has thought his plan through but that’s just working off the assumption that no one opposes him ever otherwise he went ahead and put a target on grisha’s backs. he definitely put a target on alina’s back although i know that was never the plan. the fact that when he has a perfectly good remedy to the fold, a chance to actually fix his mistakes once and for all he turns its back and decides to make it ten times worse, chooses ruling via fear over hope is jusr a sign of how far he’s gone. and he didn’t waver once not even when alina was pleading with him that he could have made her his equal, that they could have stayed together and made ravka safe together if only he gave her a choice, he was still manipulative and lied to her face.

at this point i just don’t think his love for her outweighs his belief that he knows what’s best for ravka, what’s the best way to protect grisha. because he doesn’t care about anyone who isn’t grisha at all. he was persecuted like so many others. he won a war for a king centuries and that king turned on him. i’m sure he’s looking at the current one knowing that once grisha have exhausted their uses that king will turn on him too. the fold is just a different kind of war and if he wins that one for the king the darkling already knows what the outcome will be. 

so to summarize this whole darkling commentary here i understand where he is coming from, i understand the fear and the rage and the desperation. it’s not working out for him though. he’s feared but he’s alone. for every ivan there’s a zoya. for every man who’s blindly loyal to him there’ll be someone rising up to oppose him eventually. and if it’s not his own people it’ll be non grisha folks. he has the second army working for him still, but he is alone. and that’s no one’s fault but his own because alina was willing to work with him. 

speaking of alina i loved every second of her rising up to oppose him telling him she never needed him. she may have fallen in love with him but she never actually needed him to be powerful, she only needed to free herself of the restraints she’d put on her powers out of fear. i also thought that the way she freed herself of his control made more sense than it did in the books. 

i have hope for darklina still despite all that’s happened despite how positively full of rage ans resentment she is because she still loves him, she still listened when he pleaded with her that they needed each other if they wanted to deal with the fold. of course there’s the slight issue of him lying directly and manipulating her to do his bidding and of course the fact that he took her power from her. the only thing that was her and he perverted it for his own gain. i think it just might take more than a year for her to forgive him i’m afraid. i don’t necessarily see a path to redemption right now but reconciliation? alina can be merciful, she can be forgiving. i think all it would really take is just one selfless act, one show of good faith. if he keeps pursuing her and mal and keep trying to rob her of her agency however i don’t see them ever having any kind of closure.

i don’t think i need to expand much more on my thoughts on malina. i’m not feeling what the show wants me to feel. i’m not seeing them as these soulmates that belong together. to me they’d be better of as best friends. the darkling didn’t make her strong he tried to steal her strength for his own use but mal doesn’t make her strong either, she relies too much on him. mal actually was pretty damn resourceful when left on his own. i unfortunately couldn’t say the same for alina. co-dependant love is not better than toxic love and darklina’s toxicity (most of it) comes from the lies and from the darkling repeatedly choosing for alina. he’s not brave enough to just tell her what he intends to do and let her decide whether to align herself with him so he lies and he deceives instead. not much he can do to undo it now but he could help actually destroy the fold if he wanted to. i don’t know if he’ll ever come around to it though.

the darkling visiting mal with the sole purpose to rub it in his face that alina and he are immortal and so eventually mal will die and then he could just swoop in was just peak comedy. the way he delivered that line too you’d think he was talking to an insect not another human being. it was brilliant. mal echoing that same line but ending it with “the past will do it for me” was pretty good, nice quip i’ll give mal that but also terribly ironic when you see the ending.

team crows remains the highlight for me. kaz and inej and their unspoken love for each other is just killing me. i can tell there are personal traumas there that i don’t know about (gotta read those damn books and quick) what with kaz not being able to help tend to her wounds and the fact that there were moments were i could see there was maybe a kiss about to happen or an embrace (at the end when kaz let alina go free and made a deal not to rat her out) and it just didn’t happen. there’s a story there about kaz and his distaste for being touched/touching others. jesper is just here to look pretty, shoot shit and be the most charming person in any crowd. i’m in love. also someone give him his goat back for the love of god.

nina and mathias were entertaining for sure. with all that banter and all these jabs i should have really seen them falling for one another coming. i felt like it was perhaps a bit rushed but i guess there’s nothing like almost freezing to death together to make you reconsider your views. you know the whole saving of lives thing can really bond you. the waffle date was adorable. was not expecting nina to just brand herself a traitor for him and she’s damn lucky fyedor came on that mission because i’m pretty sure ivan wouldn’t even have offered to keep her name out of the report. she and mathias ended their story both heartbroken and separated. i really hate that he thinks this was all intentional. really hope she’ll join the crows on their next con job. and i also cannot wait to see the look on heleen’s face when kaz buys inej’s freedom.

i was not at all expecting zoya to turn against the darkling. that’s what happens when you turned down one of your fuck buddies, aleksander they get bitter and then they leave you to be eaten alive by volcras. ok but in all seriousness she did the right thing and i hope she finds her family even if they’re not alive so she can say her goodbyes. 

oh and completely unrelated but since i talked about heights of comedy before i really need more sassy! darkling in my life. he is everything. that quip about his speech. the way he said adorable like he was gagging on the word. him just letting david be his dorkiest self and raise his hand before speaking, that little put upon sigh. i love sassy! darkling almost as much as jealous and petty darkling which is saying a lot. just more of that. it humanizes him, i’m tired of villains who are forever stoic and stone face. 

i think i about covered everyone and everything that happened in those remaining episodes. all in all shadow and bone is an amazing adaptation, really faithful to the first book. they made some changes to the characters which in turn changed some dynamics (alina actually admitted she wanted to be with the darkling. out loud. to his face. book!alina would never and book!darkling would never cry in front of her.) but it made for surprising viewing. it also made me become even more attached to some characters (the darkling let’s be real) which made me care more which is why i was livid when they started making a lot of terrible no good choices.

i was just really blown away by this show and the way the grishaverse was brought to life and above all major props to the actors who all just seemed to be born to play their respective roles. 

[punchdrunkdoc]

Updated K-Drama list (8)

After almost a year of watching KDramas, I’ve finally found a show that has knocked CLOY off the top spot!

The GREAT:

1. Its Ok To Not Be Okay - NEW ENTRY

A children’s author with antisocial personality disorder becomes obsessed with a handsome (but closed-off) carer in a mental health hospital. 

I could (and already have) written loads about this show - it became my all-encompassing obsession for the 8 weeks it was on telly. I LOVE IT SO MUCH!! I had a feeling only 1 episode in that it might become my all-time favourite K-drama, and I was right. The quality never dropped for a moment, and it absolutely nailed the ending. 

I pretty much love everything about it - the whimsical, fairytale-esque tone, the music, the costumes, the supporting characters, the side plots exploring different mental health issues, the humour, the set design, even the opening credits!

The two leads are so beautiful with SO MUCH chemistry that you could watch them read a phone book and it would be hot. But it became a real three-hander of a show, with the male lead’s autistic brother forming an integral part of the relationship dynamic. 

Honestly, I can’t do this show justice with such a short review - just WATCH IT!!

Male lead: Soooo handsome, quiet and compassionate but with a steel core; it’s so fun watching him come out of his shell. Actor also seen in (AASI): My Love from a Star (honestly, he didn’t make much of an impression in that show, but he was amazing in this - he conveys so much emotion with the most subtle facial movements)

Female lead: Absolutely fascinating; so wounded and vulnerable, but projecting this awesome, no-fucks-given, blunt-as-hell exterior. Actress also seen in (AASI): Lawless Lawyer, Hwarang (minor character)

2. Crash Landing on You

He’s from North Korea. She’s from South Korea. They never should have met, but they’ll change each other’s lives.

This was my first K-drama, and although it’s been knocked off the top spot, it’s still fantastic. Its the full package - the entire cast of characters is great, the lead romance is ANGSTALICIOUS and its genuinely, laugh out loud funny (when its not making you cry or swoon). I’ve since discovered that they had a North Korean defector as a consultant working on the show, so apparently the NK scenes are fairly accurate which is SUPER interesting.

Male lead: Officially the best boyfriend ever - absolutely nails the small, romantic gestures. AASI: Hyde, Jekyll & Me.

Female lead: Smart, sassy, and funny. I love her.

3. Healer

The lives, and pasts, of a hot shot reporter, a spunky young tabloid journalist and a mysterious thief-for-hire intersect.

I ADORE this show and its so rewatchable. The plot was tight and engaging, and this is one of the few shows I’ve watched where there didn’t seem to be a lot of filler. The central 3 characters are great, and the romance was amazing. I especially loved that the male lead started off such a brooding loner, but he became super-affectionate as soon as he admitted his feelings. So many good hugs and lots of face-cradling in this one. There’s also a great riff on the Superman/Clark Kent dynamic which was fun!

Male lead: Effortlessly beats up 2 henchmen while comforting his girl over the phone. What more do you need? AASI: The K2, Suspicious Partner, Melting me softly, Backstreet Rookie

Female lead: She doesn’t let her vulnerabilities stop her from getting the story or being with the man she loves. AASI: What’s wrong with secretary Kim, I’ll go to you when the weather is nice, Her private life

4. Itaewon Class

A young man’s life is forever altered when he runs afoul of a powerful family.

This felt like a big step up in quality from everything else in this list, in terms of the production, soundtrack (which was brilliant), the lack of annoying sound effects, and just the overall ‘real world’ feel of the show. All of the characters were fleshed out and 3-dimensional, and they all had their ‘moment’ to shine. The story itself was gripping and so well done - some of the twists and reveals had me gasping! And what can I say about the 2 leads? I love them, both separately, and together. He is so wise beyond his years, and his journey will break your heart and inspire you. She is borderline sociopathic, but I adore her.

Male lead: Tenacious, principled, kind, innocent, caring, driven, loyal…and he can cook! AASI: What’s wrong with secretary Kim, Fight for my way, Hwarang

Female lead: One of the most original Kdrama female characters I’ve seen. Plus she retains her agency all the way through, which is (unfortunately) not always the case with these shows. 

5. W - Two worlds

A surgeon gets sucked into the world of her father’s webtoon when the main character’s life is threatened.

This was a WILD ride! The first 4 episodes barrelled through plot at an amazing rate and certain events happen in episode 5 that had me wondering how the show could even continue! But it did…and the plot just got more insane! I loved this show SO much. It kept me guessing, had me on the edge of my seat, and even had room for some of my favourite romance tropes. The central relationship was great, and (because of the insane plot) you basically get 2 love stories for the price of 1. I’ve already watched this whole show again, which is why I’ve bumped it up the ratings a bit!

Male lead: Just a really, really cool guy. Can’t think of how else to describe him! Always in control, calm, unflappable, analysing the situation….but he can break out the cocky charm when needed. AASI: While you were sleeping, Doctor Stranger

Female lead: I really liked her - she had more agency than a lot of other female heroines and I really related to her freaked-out panic in the beginning when she didn’t feel like she was a capable enough doctor to save a life.

6. While you were sleeping

Not to be confused with the Sandra Bullock rom-com from the 90s. Instead, this is about a young woman who can dream the future who has her fate changed by a young prosecutor who suddenly develops the same ability

I was thoroughly and utterly charmed by this show. Everything was so beautifully done - from the cinematography, to the music (OMG the music!), even the title cards were interesting and quirky. The characters were all great - the main leads are so sweet and relatable, the second lead is cute-as-a-button, the villain is properly hissable, and none of the supporting characters/extras annoyed me! The storyline itself was brilliant, with so many great set-ups, pay-offs and twists, and the romance was lovely.

Male lead: A bit of a hot mess of a human being (basically, the polar opposite of his character in W!)…but all the more loveable for it. AASI: W: 2 worlds, Doctor stranger.

Female lead: Smart, sweet, loyal (I really loved her relationship with her mum) and quietly brave.

7. Descendants of the Sun

A special forces Captain meets a capable and beautiful trauma surgeon. They feel an instant bond, but their jobs and philosophy on life get in the way, threatening to tear them apart.

I absolutely LOVE the male lead character, and the romance in this was beautiful. Plus its chock-full of CompetencePorn, with lots of scenes of people being really, really good at their jobs (this is one of my favourite things!). However, it didn’t quite nail the angst, and the last minute was a bit twee which dropped it down the rankings a bit.

Male lead: A cocky, charming, absolute BADASS with the most adorable, cheeky smile.

Female lead: Sweet and a bit out of her depth in the dangerous situations…but put her in charge of a patient and watch her go!

8. Love in the Moonlight / Moonlight Drawn by Clouds

A young woman poses as a eunuch in the Royal Palace and falls in love with the Crown Prince

This was the first period piece I watched and it’s still my favourite - almost entirely because of the male lead and his beautiful face! The start had a really light, comedic tone (and a lot of modern anachronisms - high fives everywhere!) and I loved all the identity-concealing hi-jinks. But then the romance kicked into gear and the DELICIOUS angst started flowing, and I became obsessed with it. It’s like loads of bits of my favourite regency historical romances were mashed up and transported to the Joseon Dynasty. I loved it so much!

Male lead: Manages to look amazingly handsome despite all the period headgear, kicks ass with a sword, and doesn’t allow himself to be manipulated by the corrupt officials surrounding him. Also acts like an adorable goofball when he’s in love.

Female lead: Loved her at the start - she’s scrappy and independent and capable. Unfortunately, becomes too much of a plot device by the end. AASI: Backstreet Rookie

9. I’ll Go to You When the Weather is Nice / I’ll Find You on a Beautiful Day

A cellist disillusioned with life in Seoul returns to her small home town for the winter.

This was achingly sweet and wonderful. The slow unfolding of the story, the beautiful scenery, and the simple yet moving score all combine to make this feel like the type of small town contemporary romance novel I love to read on a rainy day in front of a fire. Whilst long-held, painful secrets are eventually revealed, there is no massive conflict involved, with no antagonist or over-wrought external drama. Its just the tale of two sad, lonely people who have withdrawn from the world forming a connection with each other and trying to overcome their issues (she has a fear of abandonment; he’s a loner who has a tendency to disappear). As a bonus, there’s a bookclub with a wonderful cast of secondary characters - I wanted to spend more time with all of them.

Male Lead: Precious Cinnamon Roll, to be protected at all costs. AASI: Are you human too

Female lead: Wears her heart on her sleeve. Refreshingly, she’s the instigator of the relationship and isn’t the usual passive, coy female. AASI: What’s wrong with secretary Kim, Healer, Her private life

10. Goblin

A 900yr old immortal guardian finally meets the ‘bride’ who will end his existence

Once I got over the slight ick-factor of the age difference between the two characters at the beginning, I really fell for this show and it’s world. It had me in floods of tears at some points, and it was laugh out loud funny at others. I especially loved the secondary character of the Grim Reaper and his reluctant bromance with the Goblin.

Male lead: Surprising innocent and funny for a 900 year old

Female lead: Also innocent, but in some ways wise beyond her years. Her tears will make you cry (the actress is very good at sobbing her heart out!). AASI: The King, eternal monarch

11. What’s Wrong with Secretary Kim

An personal assistant decides to quits her job in order to get a life. Her boss has other ideas.

This was my first Park Seo Joon drama, and he’s great in it. He somehow turns a self-centred, entitled and vain boss into an endearing character! The central romance is amazing - I can rewatch their scenes again and again - and its a bit more mature than some of the others on this list (be sure to check out the extended scene!!). It has some of the best kisses in Kdrama.

Male lead: Like I said, somehow makes vanity and narcissism endearing. Also not afraid to get his shirt off and flash his 6-pack. Bonus. AASI: Itaewon Class, Fight for my way, Hwarang

Female lead: I’m a sucker for uber-competent people so I loved this character. Park Min Young has become one of my favourites, and she is STUNNING in this. AASI: I’ll go to you when the weather is nice, Healer, Her private life

12. Legend of the Blue Sea

A mermaid comes onto land to find the man she loves

The (literal) fish-out-of-water scenes in the first half of this show were hilarious - the actress is a comic genius! The romance was nicely done, and there wasn’t a lot of extraneous plot or too many characters. It also nicely incorporates scenes from the Joseon era, so you get a partial historical romance thrown in for free!

I couldn’t stop watching this one and I’ve since rewatched it too! Definitely one to check out.

Male lead: Cocky, arrogant conman with a soft mushy centre. AASI: The King, Eternal monarch, Heirs.

Female lead: Steals the show - funny, smart and beautiful. AASI: My love from the Star.

13. Into the Ring/The Ballot - NEW ENTRY

An out-of-work young woman decides to run for office and faces all sorts of challenges in her quest to right some wrongs and earn a living.

This show has one of my favourite ever female characters - she’s headstrong, hard working, and quick to violence but so cute and charming with the most adorable laugh! She tries to act all cynical (that she’s only in it for the money) but she is actually really caring and kind. I sooo wanted her to succeed against the establishment of corrupt assholes that she worked with. Seeing her become disillusioned with politics and her colleagues was heartbreaking, and watching her fight back was great.

Her dynamic with the male lead was also great - he’s quietly in awe of her even when he’s exasperated and borderline scared of her.  And he’s super supportive. It was so much fun watching her drag him out of his monotonous, dull life. They also weren’t stingy with the PDA which was so refreshing.

On a superficial level, the show was also visually interesting, with loads of cool angles and blue lens flare. And the overall light, funny tone made it so watchable. 

Male lead: Adorkable

Female lead: The literal embodiment of sunshine and determination. I have a bit of a crush on her!

14. The King: Eternal Monarch

The reigning King of the Kingdom of Corea discovers a gateway to a parallel world - the Republic of Korea

This is the first drama I’ve watched in ‘real time’ but I think it would work better as a binge - there are a LOT of characters, and many have dopplegangers (because of the parallel world thing) so it became hard to keep track of who was who. I also think the progression of the romance is better appreciated in a binge (I wrote about it here - ignore the speculation; i got it so wrong LOL!). Unfortunately, the plot also had major holes in it (the ‘rules’ for the gateway/magical flute didn’t make sense) and It was difficult at times to differentiate Corea from Korea - a major failing of the editing.  

Buuuuuut, it still made my ‘Great’ list because all of those issues were outweighed by the sheer epicness of this show. The gorgeous sets, the dramatic scenery, the ANGST-filled, beautiful romance…at one point the King rides a majestic white horse into battle with a sword on a neon-lit highway to save the woman he loves. I mean, come on! Plus, its really funny - the ‘fish out of water’ scenes when the King first arrives in Korea, the chalk and cheese dopplegangers Yeong and Eun-Seob, the King’s constant threats of beheading…I loved those elements so much!

Male lead:  Gives Ri Jeong-Hyeok from CHOY a run for his money in the ‘Best Boyfriend’ competition.  AASI: Legend of the blue sea, Heirs.

Female lead: A bad-ass cop. Takes a while to believe Lee Gon’s story, but once she decides to go all in…she goes all in, and loves unreservedly with her whole heart. AASI: Goblin

15. Tomorrow with you 

A time-traveller struggling to live in the present meets a woman trying to let go of her past.

This reminded me a bit of ‘I’ll go to you when the weather is nice’ in terms of the melancholic tone, the simple but effective music, and the beautiful lighting etc. There were also some really interesting, innovative shots which I appreciated.

It took a few episodes to get into and it was a bit frustrating in the middle - so much could have been solved if people just TALKED to each other!! Plus the rules for this version of time travel weren’t really clear…But the last few episodes were brilliant; the way the story came together, and all the little bits of set up were paid off was really well done. These episodes alone were enough to bump this up to the ‘Great’ category (especially, given there was a bit of a Lake House vive at one point - I’m a sucker for that movie. The romance was also beautifully portrayed; I could endlessly watch their domestic scenes - they had such good chemistry and banter.

Male lead: Absolutely, but endearingly, terrible at relationships. He ends up falling in love against his will and largely without realising it.

Female lead: A bit of a mess and a borderline alcoholic, but so cute and innocent. I love the way she talks to herself, she’s so funny! AASI: Oh My Venus

16. Fight for my Way

Two life-long friends decide to go after their dreams

I fast-forwarded large chunks of this (I wasn’t interested in the secondary couple at all), but it still made my ‘Great’ list because this is one of the best friends-to-lovers stories I’ve seen. You truly buy that these 2 have known each other their entire lives (their  bickering and teasing feels so natural). And then when they take the next step, they’re so affectionate and refreshingly open with their feelings. Speaking of which, this also has some great kissing scenes (Park Seo Joon is the master!)

Male lead: I love his contradictions. He’s goofy and childish…but can really turn on the sexy charm; he’s a badass MMA fighter…who loves when his girlfriend sticks up for him and protects him. AASI: What’s wrong with secretary Kim, Itaewon class, Hwarang

Female lead: Takes no shit from anyone and will fight for her man! AASI: Descendants of the sun (secondary character)

17. Suspicious Partner

A young, hardworking lawyer has her life turned upside down when she is put on trial for murder.

This was officially bumped up the list a while ago, and I stand by the decision. Its still overly long, but the serial killer plot had some nice twists and it was central to the story, so it didn’t feel extraneous like some of these types of plots do. Mainly, I just loved the central romance - the 2 characters sparked off each other so well and I loved their evolution from sort-of enemies to lovers. This is another show where I can endlessly rewatch their scenes together.

Male lead: Its Ji Chang Wook! He’s so good at playing serious guys who are secretly big dorks. AASI: Healer, The K2, Melting me softly, Backstreet Rookie

Female lead: Fate deals her a shitty hand, but she perseveres with grace and determination. She’s great. AASI: Shopaholic Louis, 100 days my prince.

The GOOD:

1. I Am Not a Robot

A man who is allergic to human contact finds companionship with a robot…or does he?

I honestly thought I wouldn’t make it passed a couple of episodes of this - the concept was just too ridiculous. But I’m glad I persevered, because it developed some real depth and some proper good angst towards the end and I LOVED the central relationship. I’ve rewatched loads of this one.

Actress ASI: Piece of Your Mind;  Love in the moonlight (secondary character)

2. I Remember You - NEW ENTRY

A famous criminal profiler gatecrashes the investigation of a serial killer, hoping it will restore the missing memories of his childhood trauma

I really liked the set up of this - the lead character is introduced like a young Sherlock Holmes (the music even reminded me of the score for the BBC Sherlock series). The super-observant, socially awkward thing kind of dropped off as the series progressed, but I still enjoyed how the plot developed, especially with Park Bo-Gum’s character; I’ve only ever seen him play innocent cutie-pies, so this role was a bit of a surprise!

The female lead was like an anime character come to life (she was petite and cute with enormous eyes), but I also loved her personality; she was tenacious, and dogged and took no shit from anyone. She had a cute, antagonistic relationship with the profiler at the start (which I loved) which eventually led to some really sweet, touching moments. 

Actor ASI: Shopping King Louis

3. Hotel del Luna 

A hotel for wandering spirits gets a new human manager - and he forms a surprising connection to the enigmatic 1300 year old owner

If I had to describe this show in one word it would be ’lavish’. It’s a feast for the eyes - from the set design, to the costumes, to the CGI views of the hotel towering over the moon-lit Seoul cityscape, its stunning. It also plays with aspect ratios in a cool way (watch for the shots where the action spills over into the black bars top and bottom of the screen).

In terms of the characters, I really liked IU in this; her character may be uncaring, world-weary, and money-hungry, but she’s also immensely charming. I admit I got more platonic vibes with her and the male lead, but I still liked their relationship. I also really liked the stories of the ghosts passing through (some reduced me to tears with very little screen time) and there were a couple of GREAT cameos. Especially the one at the very end - I want more of him, please!!

Actress ASI: Scarlet heart

4. My Holo Love

A lonely woman falls for a holographic AI and then meets his creator…

I love the concept of this show (I’m a big sci-fi nerd), and I think this stayed in my ‘favourite’ list for so long because it was the first Kdrama of this genre that I saw. I still love it - especially because of how beautifully it’s shot, and how well the story comes together - but I’m not dying to rewatch any of it, unlike all the others shows that are now on the ‘great’ list.

5. Extraordinary You

A high school student discovers she’s a supporting character in a comic book

The plot of this was so cool, and the way the comic story played out interspersed with the characters ‘real lives’ was really well done. Plus the central couple were so adorable. It dragged in the middle section (several versions of the same conversations were had, and the same exposition was spelled out multiple ways for no apparent reason) which kept it out of my favourite list, but it redeemed itself with some good angst at the end, and it had a really lovely ‘epilogue’.

AASI: A couple of the secondary male leads have a mini-reunion in ‘I’ll go to you when the weather is nice’!

6. Just Between Lovers - NEW ENTRY

Three people impacted by a tragic shopping mall collapse start working on a building project together, unaware of their shared past.

I absolutely adore the male lead in this - he is the archetypal tortured hero (I constantly wanted to give him a hug and a warm meal). He’s also wonderfully romantic in his own, straightfoward, no-nonsense way. The female lead was really likeable - l love capable women and she is the definition of that (she even drives a lorry at one point!). There’s a lot of pain and angst in this show, with very little levity, but it strangely never felt heavy. I really liked it. 

Actress ASI: Melting me Softly

7. Strong Girl Bong-Soon

A woman with inherited super-strength gets a job as a bodyguard for an eccentric young CEO

The lead couple in this are AD-OR-ABLE and I loved their relationship. But there was a weird tone issue in this show. The romance is super cute…but there’s a whole dark sub plot involving multiple women being held captive by a psychopath, and a really grating cast of ‘bad guy’ extras. I ended up fast forwarding most of that, and just concentrated on the romance - If someone could do a supercut of all their scenes, I would watch it on a loop.

Actor ASI: Hwarang, Heirs (minor character)

8. 30 but 17/Still 17 - NEW ENTRY

A 17 year old girl gets into an accident and wakes from a coma 13 years later.

I was worried going into this that the romance (between a 30 year old man and (essentially) a 17 year old girl) would feel icky and uncomfortable. But the writers made the wise choice of creating a 30 year old man with the emotional maturity of a 17 year old. He is so awkward and unworldly, that they actually work really well together. In fact, I loved their relationship. The secrets in this show took faaaar too long to be revealed, which made me worried that the eding would be too rushed, but there was actually time for a nice ‘epilogue’. Plus, all the supporting characters were great (including the wonderfully weird housekeeper Jennifer) and the cutest dog in the world was in this. So I definitely recommend it.  

9. Mystic Pop-up Bar - NEW ENTRY

As punishment for past sins, a woman must solve the grudges of 100,000 people by entering their dreams

This was an unexpected delight. I started watching it after spotting a cute gifset on tumblr (which I didn’t realise contained huge spoilers!). The story and tone is (mostly) light and quirky, and I particularly enjoyed the worldbuilding - the banal bureaucracy of the afterlife in this even reminds me a bit of The Good Place. I’m a sucker for a ‘found family’ theme and this one was done really nicely. It also had 2 main ships - one really cute and innocent, the other took me by surprise with how moving it was. Similarly, some of the episode-specific stories and characters (i.e. the individual grudges) made me tear up.  

10. 100 days my prince

A Prince loses his memory during an assassination attempt and ends up living as a peasant for 100 days.

Another period piece; the plots of these seem a little repetitive (Crown prince’s life is threatened by scheming Minister) but the  central cast and the romance usually makes up for it. Same for this show - I really enjoyed watching the spoiled, grumpy puppy of a Prince try to cope with manual labour, and the female lead was capable, and endearing.

Actress ASI: Suspicious partner, Shopaholic Louis

11. Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok-Joo

A young talented weightlifter experiences first love

Honestly, I wasn’t sold on this at first; the female lead was a bit much (lot of gurning and over-acting) and there was a weird disconnect between how she was described (big, overweight, manly, unfeminine) and how she actually looked (thin and beautiful!). But the back half of this show saved it; her relationship with Joon-Hyung was sooooo cute. He is adorable, and they were both so supportive of each other’s dreams. I finished this with a big smile on my face.

Actor ASI: Bride of the Water God, Scarlet heart (tertiary character)

12. Are You Human Too

A mother separated from her son builds a robotic replacement. Decades later, he has to take the place of the ‘real’ son.

I loved the evolution of the robot in this - it never went the way of a full Pinnochio story, but it was fun to see him learning about the real world and how humans interact. It also posed some interesting questions - what does it mean to be human? And how would you react if you were ‘replaced’ by an artificial version?  

The actor in this was fantastic. The way he could change from the real Nam Shin to Nam Shin III with the most subtle shifts in posture and facial expression was really impressive. It took me longer to warm to the female lead, and by the end she was given very little to do…but her unflinching support and unconditional love for Nam Shin III won me over.  Some of the supporting characters didn’t work for me, and it was far too long…but worth a watch for the lead actor’s performance. Plus, Nam Shin III is an absolute cutie-pie.

Actor ASI: I’ll go to you when the weather is nice

13. Shopaholic Louis/ Shopping King Louis

The young, shopaholic heir to a large department store empire loses his memory and has to live as a poor man 

The male lead in this is an absolute puppy dog and I ADORE him. He squeals when he sees bugs, he can’t run to save his life, and he’s the type of guy who will punch someone and immediately apologise and ask if they’re ok. He’s spoilt, entitled, demanding and has no concept of the value of money…but thanks to the actor portraying him, he just comes across as innocent, sweet and lonely (he spends all his time shopping and accumulating stuff because they fills up his empty life). The female lead is just a really nice, kind person; at first Louis seems like he’ll be just one more burden she needs to take care of, but he makes it clear from the start that she can count on him to help her too - something she’s never had before. Their relationship develops so naturally and thoroughly that you cant help but feel they are perfect for each other. I watched this with a big smile on my face.

Actor ASI: I Remember You

Actress ASI: Suspicious partner, 100 days my prince

14. Oh My Venus 

The previously much-lusted after ‘Venus of Daegu’ fulfilled her dream of becoming a lawyer - but she gained weight and lost her self esteem in the process. 

I adored the female lead - she was so relentlessly bright and optimistic that you couldn’t help but love her and root for her. I was a bit worried going in that there was going to be a lot of fat-shaming, but the male lead made it clear that he was more interested in her internal health than her external appearance (and you could tell he started to fall for her when she was chubby, so it wasn’t superficial in that way). I wasn’t expecting for him to become so much of the focus in the second half of the show (I thought he was just going to be a hunky trainer;  I should have known better - in a Kdrama there is always a Tragic Backstory looming!). Their relationship was so natural and cute - the bit with the dimples never got old - and overall, this was a fun, easy watch.

Actress ASI: Tomorrow with you. 

Actor ASI: My secret Terrius, Master’s sun.

15. A Piece of your Mind - NEW ENTRY

A classical music recording engineer meets an AI designer.

I struggled to sum-up the concept of this in one sentence, because the ‘plot’ is so arbitrary (and the AI stuff makes no sense whatsoever!). It’s really more of a mood piece - the lighting, the music and the performance combine to make this a strangely ethereal show, dealing with unrequited love, grief and the importance of human connection. It’s slow and contemplative and a little odd in its structure (there’s very little set-up, so you feel like you’ve been dropped into episode 3 of an established show). This may put some people off, but I really liked it. 

I started watching it because of the leads (who I’ve loved in other shows) and they didn’t disappoint. She is so kind and lovely; he’s a little odd - like a robot learning about life. But their relationship is so beautiful (it even included one of my favourite niche tropes: insomniacs who can only sleep around each other). 

Apparently the episode run was cut down from 16 to 12 because of poor ratings, which is a real shame because i think a bit more time was needed to really sell the female lead’s emotional arc. It all felt a little rushed at the end, but I still enjoyed it, and admired that it tried something a little unconventional. 

Actor ASI: While you were sleeping (secondary lead).

Actress ASI: I am Not a Robot; Love in the moonlight (secondary character)

16. Rookie Historian - NEW ENTRY

An independent, educated woman choses to become one of the first female court historians, rather than get married.

This show had a really interesting premise and I enjoyed watching the rookie female historians navigate court-life (battling workplace harassment, misogyny and patriarchal values) and developing a real friendship with each other. 

The female lead was fantastic - she was headstrong, pragmatic, unapologetically intelligent, a lover of books and a hater of injustice. She shared that love of books with the male lead, who was sensitive, soft-spoken, and innocent. The ultimate beta hero, who’s romantic fantasies involved him feeding her cookies and fanning her while she sleeps! 

Their romance took a backseat for a lot of the show, but I didn’t mind as the plot was exploring interesting topics such as intruders from the West, catholicism, and censorship, etc.

Actor ASI: My ID is Gangnam Beauty

Actress ASI: Bride of Habaek

17. Tempted/The Great Seducer - NEW ENTRY

In an act of revenge, a wealthy heir makes a bet with his friends to seduce a hardworking female college student 

10 minutes into this I started to get major Cruel Intentions vibes…which made sense when I found out it was also an adaptation of Dangerous Liaisons! It doesn’t have the dark edge or overt sexuality of Cruel Intentions (which is one of my favs) but its still good - mainly due to the male lead. I ADORED him in TKEM and he’s really good here. I’m a sucker for the ‘bad boy falls in love for the first time’ trope and he played it so well. The female lead was also good - she was self-aware, strong, intelligent and took no shit. I was less interested by the love affairs of the adults around them, but overall it was a good show. 

Actor ASI: TKEM (secondary character)

18. My Love from the Star

Alien stranded on earth meets an actress soon before he’s due to be rescued.

It took a couple of goes to get into this one, but I’m glad I finally watched the  whole thing (the female lead was initially very irritating, but she improved a lot).  I enjoyed the present-day romance and all the flashes back to the past. However, the ending was really abrupt and disappointing (which kept it out of my favourite list). There should have been 1 less filler episode in the middle, and a decent, fleshed out finale instead.

Actor ASI: Its ok to not be ok. 

Actress ASI: Legend of the blue sea

19. Because this is my First Life

A rational-to-a-fault software designer and an aspiring screenwriter come up with an unconventional way to solve their housing problem

When I started this, I thought it was going to be all light and fluffy (the main character’s job in the beginning was to insert the product placement in Korean dramas - hello, Red Ginseng! - which I found hilarious and meta) but it had a surprisingly melancholic tone throughout and touched on issues of workplace harassment and gender roles. I didn’t warm to the male lead until right at the end (which was probably partly intentional - he’s very remote and closed off) but overall I found the story quite lovely. Plus it had a really great central female friendship and their conversations actually passed the Bechdel test!

20. My shy boss / Introverted boss

An extroverted actress takes a job at a PR company working for a man with crippling shyness

This was another deceptive show; I thought from the title and the synopsis that it would just be a light opposites attract comedy about an introverted man and an extroverted woman. But I was almost in tears by the second episode when the Tragic Backstory came to light, and we saw the full extent of the Boss’ struggles to communicate with other human beings. He has such a rich, funny, and smart inner monologue, and the way he overthinks every interaction is really endearing…which makes the contrast with his silent and withdrawn external persona all the more stark and heartbreaking. You really root for him to find happiness. This was overly long (a common pitfall with these shows) and there was some distracting shaky camera work in some of the close ups. There were also implications early on about workplace sexual harassment and possibly dubious consent in a one night stand which were dropped, leaving a bit of a sour note.  Despite that, it was overall fairly enjoyable and has one of the cutest confession scenes!

The OK

1. The K2

An ex-mercenary takes a job as a bodyguard protecting the illegitimate daughter of a politician. A sort-of Snow White retelling.

This started off really well; there are some amazing fight sequences (hello, shower room scene!) and JCW has never been hotter - its worth watching for him alone. However, the back half became really bogged down in double crosses and manipulations, and it focussed too much on the politicians. The writers did well to give these characters some layers, but they were all essentially doing bad things for the wrong reasons, and I just didn’t care about them. The show was much better when it was following K2’s journey. The romance also started off well, but was a bit underdeveloped (mainly because they barely interacted).

Actor ASI: Healer, suspicious partner, Backstreet rookie, Melting me softly

2.Bride of Habaek / Bride of the Water God

A God of the Land of Water visits the human realm to fulfil a task before ascending to his throne. He enlists the help of a ‘divine servant’, a down-on-her-luck psychiatrist.

I started this because I liked the lead actor. His baby-face can’t quite pull off the intensity needed for this role, but he was still cute as the arrogant, imperious God brought low by his circumstances - no money, house, powers or (most importantly to him) driving license. I also liked the female lead - she so desperately wanted to hide her kind, compassionate heart from a world that had battered and bruised her. There were some good individual scenes (especially the 'confession’ moment, which was just lovely), but the show ran out of steam towards the end, and ultimately felt like a waste of potential.

Actor ASI: Weightlifting fairy Kim Bok-joo

Actress ASI: Rookie Historian

3. Her Private Life

A talented art curator tries to keep her professional persona separate from her fangirl obsession with a pop idol.

This was cute and I loved the central relationship - he was so supportive of her, and their interactions were refreshingly mature and their banter felt really natural. Ultimately, it was a bit forgettable (I’m not dying to rewatch any of it), and the last minute tacked-on childhood trauma subplot was really unnecessary.

Actress ASI: Healer, Whats wrong with secretary kim, I’ll go to you when the weather is nice.

4. Touch Your Heart

Star actress rocked by scandal works at a law firm to prepare for her comeback role

This starred the secondary couple from Goblin and I really like them, even though they are playing very different characters in this (more opposites attract, than doomed lovers). It’s a bit too ‘cutesy’ and I had to fast forward a lot of the secondary romances which I wasn’t invested in.

5. My Secret Terrius

A secret agent on the run gets embroiled in the life of his next door neighbour - a mum of young twins.

The romance in this was underwhelming; the two characters ended in a really cute place, but it felt like set up for a story I probably would have liked more than this one. In saying that, this was still a relatively enjoyable watch; the female lead was great - she was constantly underestimated as ‘just a housewife’ but she was smarter, and more determined and resourceful than the spies around her. The male lead’s interactions with the twins were adorable, and there was a good cast of supporting characters. However, I’ve already pretty much forgotten the main espionage plot!

Actor ASI: Oh My Venus

6. Lawless Lawyer

A gangster-turned-lawyer moves to Gisung to take on corruption with the help of a suspended female attorney

I liked this more at the beginning; it reminded me a bit of Itaewon Class, with a charismatic lead, an intricately plotted revenge scheme that the audience only becomes aware of as the series progresses, and a take-no-shit female lead who was introduced hitting an authority figure! However, it never really gripped me (it took me weeks to finish) and a couple of the villains were overacting and hamming it up all over the place.  But I loved the two leads, and their relationship was good, despite feeling a bit rushed. 

Actor ASI: Scarlet Heart

Actress ASI: Its ok to not be ok, Hwarang (tertiary character)

7. 1% of Something - NEW ENTRY

To gain his inheritance, an arrogant, aloof CEO has to enter into a marriage contract with a sweet primary school teacher.

I liked how streamlined this was: it was just a show about two people who fall in love despite their best intentions. There was no overly complicated plot, and even the conflict that keeps them apart towards the end felt very organic and unforced. 

She is a delightful ball of sunshine. He is a little overbearing but has his own charm. And bear with the bad haircut and appalling fashion sense - he improves at the end!

8. Melting Me Softly

Two people are accidentally cryogenically frozen for 20 years. They have to navigate the modern world and their new lives together.

Another good concept, but it ultimately descended into little more than a light work-place romance. Had a couple of good kissing scenes, but it was overall a bit forgettable.

Actor ASI: The K2, healer, suspicious partner, backstreet rookie

Actress ASI: Just Between Lovers

9. My Sassy Girl

A 'sassy’ princess meets an ambitious scholar in less than ideal circumstances…

I enjoyed the fact that this Joseon period drama focused on a Princess for a change, and not a prince. She came across as more 'obnoxious and immature’ than 'sassy’ in the beginning, but once it was made clear that she was actually a decent, kind person underneath, I soon warmed to her. I also liked the relationship with the male lead, which amounted to a pretty good enemies-to-lovers story. It took a bit of an unexpected turn right at the end, but my independent, feminine self was good with it. Overall, this was a pretty easy watch, but nothing special.

10. Hwarang

Follows a peasant who joins the newly-created Hwarang (Poet Warrior Youths in ancient Korea) to enact revenge for the death of his best friend

I enjoyed the scenes of the Hwarang hanging out and bonding - so many cute bromances in this! But I couldn’t really connect with the central story and romance, due to a major case of SLS (Second Lead Syndrome) - as much as I’m a fan of Park Seo-joon, I adore Park Hyung-sik, and I found his character, journey and relationship with the female lead much more compelling. The ending still managed to feel somewhat satisfying, but I won’t be rewatching any of it.

Actor ASI: Itaewon class, What’s wrong with secretary kim, Fight for my way

The BAD 

1. Hyde, Jekyll and Me

A woman becomes involved in the lives of 2 men, who share one body

Hyun Bin is sooo watchable in this, especially as the slick-haired, glasses-wearing, uptight Seo-Jin. And the show started well…but quickly went off the rails into a convoluted, dragged-out revenge plot. It was a bit of a slog to get through, to be honest.

Actor ASI: CLOY

2. Queen: Love and War

The long lost twin of a recently assassinated Queen assumes her identity to enter the Bridal selection to wed the resurrected King and seek revenge.

This was a bit of a mess (as you can tell from that synopsis!); it felt like the first few episodes were rushed through as a sort of ‘prologue’ before the main thrust of the story…but that prologue contained A LOT of plot with some major character revelations that were rapidly skimmed over (e.g. the female lead was introduced as having complete amnesia; but almost out of nowhere she casually mentions that she got all her memories back and now knows who she is). Because of this, it took me a while to get a sense of who the characters really were. A lot of the usual Joseon plot points played out (scheming ministers and untrustworthy queens) but it had some unique features - I especially enjoyed the bridal selection scenes and seeing the lead female outwitting her rivals in the various challenges. But ultimately, I fast forwarded a lot of this and it was pretty forgettable.

Actress ASI: Doctor Stranger. 

Actor ASI: Backstreet Rookie (secondary character)

3. Backstreet Rookie

A struggling young woman takes a part-time job at the convenience store run by her high school crush. 

I was really not a fan of this show, and probably would have stopped watching if it wasn’t for Kim Yoo-jung. Her character was really likeable - kickass, but vulnerable, and so loving and kind. You were really rooting for her throughout.  The show also had some interesting things to say about inequality (there was a lovely scene between the male leads’s parents in episode 10 touching on this theme)…but that’s about it for the positives. 

Overall, it was just too OTT and manic and most of the characters were barely more than cartoonish caricatures. One character was actually repulsive, and the fact that he got his own romantic subplot was just gross. I’m a big fan of Ji Chang-wook, but I didn’t like some of his acting choices in this, and his character spent far too long in a relationship with another woman, which meant the main romance felt underdeveloped. 

And…it ended without a kiss. I was so pissed off! I put up with 16 episodes of crap, expecting a decent pay-off at the end…but no. I wouldn’t recommend this one. 

Actress ASI: Love in the Moonlight

Actor ASI: Suspicious Partner, Healer, K2, Melting me Softly

The UNCLASSIFIABLE

Moon Lovers: Scarlet Heart Ryeo

A modern girl is transported 1000 years into the past where she becomes embroiled in the lives of the Royal Princes.

I honestly don’t know where I stand with this one! Did I love it? Did I hate it? I seriously don’t know!

I was reluctant to start this (I knew it didn’t have a happy ending) but I was told its a rite of passage for KDrama newbies to watch this show. And there were some great things about it - the male lead was amazing! So intense and tragic, with the most arresting face. The music was also GORGEOUS, as was the scenery - the whole production felt very sumptuous. The palace intrigue stuff was also more compelling than most of the other historic dramas I’ve seen. I recognised several of the Princes from other shows, and I became really invested in 3 of them…which made the constant threat of them betraying each other/killing each other AGONISING. This show was heavy on the Emotional Torture Porn, and some of it felt gratuitous, because I just didn’t understand the motivations behind some of the plot points/character’s actions.

I also wasn’t a big fan of the female lead; partly because the actress only seemed to have 2 facial expressions to work with, but partly because and any hints that she was a modern girl with modern sensibilities quickly disappeared. It was this independence and spunk that made all the princes fall for her (to varying degrees) but she lost all of that and it left me wondering why they bothered with the time travel aspect at all.

I finished the show feeling wrung out and with the overwhelming sense of “Why? What was the point of that?”

Buuuuuut…it has lingered with me - as @talenevertold said when we were discussing the show, “Nobody enjoys it in the process… but it leaves this unique bittersweet aftertaste…” and that’s absolutely true; and it probably true that this show IS a rite of passage that everyone should watch. But don’t say I didn’t warn you!

and...The MEH (i.e. DNF):

This list is getting long! I have a bit less patience with shows than I did in the beginning - there are so many to get through, so I’m not willing to waste my time on anything that either doesn’t grip me from a story perspective, is far too slow, has mediocre acting and/or is too soapy.

Master’s sun

Tale of Nokdu

The Heirs

Meow, the Secret Boy

Love Alarm

One Spring Night

Suits

Chocolate 

Doctor Stranger 

The scholar who walks the night 

If I’ve made a heinous mistake by dropping any of these - get in touch and plead the case for why i should give them another chance!

[rosexknight]

@arceusfan493 Here’s that Dragon Age 2 rant you wanted.

Because I am still not over it.

Under the Read More, I have for you: - Lore Context - How Dragon Age 2 is Amazing - How it Hurt Me Enjoy~!

Oh yeah and major spoiler warning for Dragon Age 2 and minor spoiler warning for Dragon Age Origins and Awakening.

Lore Context ((Note: It is way more in-depth than this, I am simplifying ALOT))

Okay so. In the Dragon Age universe, magic is seen as super dangerous, because mages and those who have magical abilities are connected what is called the Fade, which is like a world that mirrors ours. It is also known as the Dream World, and every race but dwarves dream, but Mages specifically are connected to it in a way that lets them manipulate it for magic. In the Fade there are spirits and demons that can be brought into the real world by a mage or take over a mage’s body to enter our world. When this happens the mage becomes what is called an “Abomination” and loses all semblance of themselves. Demons are dangerous, spirits not so much, and demons are actually just spirits that have been twisted from their original purpose, usually by desire/pride/rage/etc. Spirits are the embodiment of virtues, where as demons are usually the embodiment of sins. There’s also Blood Magic which is hella powerful but corrupting and usually links back to demons.

There is also some religious reasons why magic is so feared, as it’s basically said that mages that got too close to God caused all the bad shit happening in the world (specifically a literal and metaphorical plague called the Blight) and also there are political reasons since there is a country/kingdom that’s all mage-run and it’s not great.

So for the protection of all the non-mages, they lock all mages in these towers called Circles so that they can study, hone their skills, etc. But they're essentially prisons, and the mages are watched over by Templars, which are like anti-magic paladins. And all this is ran by the church called the Chantry (there's a shit ton of lore and all these fears are linked back to that religion I mentioned earlier.) In order to become full mages, you have to pass a test where they put you against a demon in the Fade to prove you can handle your magic. If you fail you become an abomination. If the Circle thinks you will fail this test, they will (literally) brand you Tranquil, which cuts off a mage from the Fade but ALSO makes them 100% emotionless. Also if you get too good, they might also brand you a Blood Mage and kill you anyway.

Also, there is no escape. You can try to escape, but when you come to the Circle, the Chantry takes your blood and puts it in a vial. They then use this blood to track you down if you slip away.

Now, in the games we have seen that SOMETIMES the Circles are not that bad. Mages can get special permission to live outside the Circles as long as they can get jobs. Some mages are perfectly content there, while others aren’t. The mages might be governed by the Chantry and Templars but usually each Circle is kind of given its own freedoms to have its own politics, etc. HOWEVER, whether or not you're put in a good Circle is a toss-up, completely dependent on where you are, who is in charge, etc. And also the Templars can call upon the Right of Annulment if they feel the things in the tower are getting out of control, which essentially nukes the tower and destroys it and all the mages. OH and you are sent to the Circles when your magic starts manifesting (between the ages of 4-14) with no say from you or your family. Just “Oh you got magic? Time to lock you in this tower.” SO needless to say, things between Mages and Templars are fucking tense, and the game is not shy about giving this whole thing a prison feel. The mages are very obviously the oppressed class here (elves are also oppressed but in a different way and I’m not going into that.)

Also you can play as a mage in-game, which makes this all hit especially home if you do since you as the player both see and experience it.

OKAY that should be all the lore context you need.

How Dragon Age 2 is Amazing

DA2 takes place in a town with one of the bad Circles. The Commander of the Templars, Meredith, has basically gone insane. She’s become paranoid, and is turning mages Tranquil (illegally btw because we know that she turns some Tranquil even after they passed that test I mentioned earlier,) or killing them left and right. However, in conjunction to that, there's ALOT of shit that happens that are all mages fault. Blood magic, demons, your mom (basically the only family you have left at that point btw) gets killed by a crazy necromancer, etc.

So it puts you, the player and your PC Hawke, in this situation where you clearly see magic is HELLA DANGEROUS, but you also see that the mages are being pushed too hard by the Templars and are taking drastic measures to escape or fight back. And again, it hits doubly hard if you play as a mage. The game also takes place over the span of 7 years, so you see it all build up and get worse and worse as you play.

So it presents the conundrum: Do all mages suck or is it because of what is happening? It's fucking brilliant. Especially coming from the first game, Origins, where you see a good Tower that's super chill until one crazy mage fucks it up. You see what horrors magic can bring but also see and hear how crazy Templars can be when they face such horrors (this is clear with both Meredith herself AND a recurring character named Cullen but if I talk about him we’ll be here all day.)

Anyway, point is there's clearly no right answer to which side is right or wrong, and the game builds up on it alot. It gives you all the perspectives with Meredith, the paranoid Templar Commander, Orsino, the leader of the Circle who is just trying to keep the peace and defend the mages, and the Grand Cleric in the Chantry Elthina, who refuses to take a side even though she has the power to basically end it all. Your companions also have opinions on all of it as it unfolds. And it puts you right in the middle of it all. And you experience all of it.

Like I said, fucking brilliant.

How it Hurt Me

One of your companions is Anders, who is a mage that has run away from the Circle you know of from Origins. He's a healer that is helping people from an underground (free) clinic, and has also been helping mages escape the city. He's all about freedom for mages, and has fused with a Justice spirit that he became friends with. The spirit saw the injustice that was happening to the mages and wanted to further help. Both Anders and Justice are from Dragon Age Awakening, which comes after Origins. They are companions in that game and you see how their friendship grows and how they come to be able to help each other.

Now I LOVED Anders and Justice in Awakening. I was ALL FOR seeing them again seeing how the years had changed them, and helping them. I also played as a mage in both games so I was also all for mage freedom. It’s also worth noting that in Awakening you learn the Circle was NOT kind to Anders. He’s a free spirit, a lover not a fighter, and he was suffocated. He tried to escape like 7 times and after the last one they put him IN SOLITARY CONFINEMENT FOR A FUCKING YEAR. He was 100% expecting to be killed every time he was caught. “Oh but couldn’t he have used those methods you mentioned earlier to live outside the Circle?” you may ask. And like, yeah maybe. But also...No one should have to do that?

I romanced Anders because I adore him. He’s a bit of a broody boy in DA2 that tries to push you away, but he’s hella sweet and supportive. Funny. Small hint of danger with Justice. He's great. And it was great to romance him in DA2 since I was playing Awakening going “No please why can I not romance YOU?”

Well throughout the game you see that due to the anger Anders has, Justice is getting morphed into something more akin to a spirit of Vengeance as things are pushed more, and that Anders is having trouble controlling him. Depending on what route you take with the romance, he and Justice can either fuse into something like only one being, or Justice can be turned fully into a demon of Vengeance. Both of these are heavily implied more than confirmed, so it’s kind of ambiguous, but the ending is the same. Anders becomes consumed by this, and everything else is drowned out.

Eventually, towards the end of the game, when Meredith has sent off for permission to the Right of Annulment, and Orsino can’t control the many other mages wanting to fight back, and things between mages and Templars are coming to a head, Anders asks you to come with him to get some ingredients that will make a potion to separate he and Justice. Then that turns out to be a lie and he asks you to distract Elthina in the Chantry so he can do...a thing. And he won’t tell you what. And you know he's up to something. BUT in DA2 and Awakening he's ALWAYS said that violence isn't the answer and that we have to show people mages can be good by example, and been against blood magic, etc. So you have the option to help him or not.

I helped him because SURELY he wouldn't do anything crazy. And SURELY he wouldn't ask/trick me, the woman he loves, to do something crazy. He simply asks you to trust him, and I did.

Aaaaaaand then I was wrong. Very, very wrong.

He blew up the Chantry in that town. Confirmed death toll from game lore is 100, but people estimate it could be more. This was the second time I had to walk away from this game due to emotions, the first being when your mom dies.

The Chantry runs the Templars, and the Templars watch the mages. Things were coming to a head. It had been a silent war raging. The Knight-Commander of the Templars was seeing shadows, threatening to basically rip the tower apart to find Blood Mages where there weren't. The leader of the Mages supported the Circle but was doing little to lead the mages against the Templars, and if the mages snapped all hell would break loose. The Cleric in the chantry refused to take sides, even though her word would essentially sway the masses into siding with someone. But she had to stay neutral because she couldn't choose as it wasn't her place, and she agreed there was no right answer both sides had a point. He blew up the Chantry, and forced people to take sides. Change had to come, and he decided he had to take the matter into his own hands to do it. And whether or not it was him or Justice or both is ambiguous and dependant on the route taken.

And I fucking helped him.

The game at this point forces you to choose a side, and I chose to side with the Mages because I WAS one and also Meredith wanted to kill every mage there for what Anders did.

I was betrayed by this character I had loved for two games, who my Hawke fell in love with, who I trusted, etc. And THAT hurt worse than anything else ever. You then had the option to kill him, which was the third point I had to walk away and agonize over a decision. Whether or not Anders was right is a topic still viscerally debated in the Dragon Age community too and it gets ROUGH.

So yeah. That is why I’m not over it and why I love this game so much but also how fucking dare it do this to me.

[bombshellsandbluebells]

Why do you stan Emori so much? I’m someone who has never really grown to like her, so I genuinely just want to know. I find a lot of her characteristics already done in other characters, or wholly unlikeable. I truly can’t see how taking her out of the story would change much of anything - Murphy’s arc could be aided along by someone else easily. So: This is your chance to use CANON (a lot of pro-Emori stuff I see is headcanon) to explain to my why I should like Emori.

Hey, anon! Alright, just letting you know, you ASKED for a long answer haha. :)

First, I just want to say that Emori clicks with me, but if you don’t find her interesting or don’t connect with her, really no matter what I say, it’s probably not going to change your opinion and that’s totally fine! Some characters REALLY click with you and others just don’t for whatever reason. So I’m not necessarily going at this like “here’s why you SHOULD like Emori” but more “here is why I personally like Emori, whether you vibe with that or not”

I agree that you can take her out of the story without it changing much, but I’d also argue that’s really the case for MOST of The 100 cast, the Griffins and Blakes and some other key players aside. At its heart, The 100 really is an ensemble show. It’s about how this particular world and the societies and the fight for survival affects different people and how they respond to it and the struggle between different groups and different beliefs and different people. 

The point of MOST of the characters existing in this series isn’t that they fulfill an important role in the plot, but that they each show a new perspective of what it means to live in the harsh, cruel world of the show. Obviously plot points are developed around these characters, but the truth is you could remove most of the supporting cast and rewrite plot points to work without them. 

So the biggest thing that Emori does for the show isn’t that it can’t function on a plot level without her, but she adds a new, unique perspective of what it means to live in this world and society and be affected by it. Emori’s perspective IS unique to this show (aside from the smaller other mutated characters who introduce the concept of societal prejudices but don’t really get the room to develop or connect with the audience). She’s on the lowest ring of society. She’s an outcast not because of anything she’s done, but because of societal prejudices and hatred. She’s part of just yet another group out there fighting for survival in this world. Her mutation is also a direct result of the bombs and the lingering radiation, giving another example of how that setup has affected this world and the people in it. So while, yes, she could ultimately be removed from the show without breaking the plot, you lose that perspective and worldbuilding. You lose that additional example of how this world affects the people in it. You lose that story. 

I like Emori because she’s interesting.

That’s really it. She’s a unique character. She has a unique backstory within the show compared to the other supporting characters. It was just FUN to get to know more about her and her life and how she has survived in this world.

Emori was born into a cruel world and immediately shown cruelty and hatred for something she couldn’t control. Her world labeled her worthless, her society rejected her, and Emori turned harsh and selfish and ruthless and mean in response. Emori has to fight, steal, and kill for every single scrap of survival because on one else thinks she deserves anything - even the right to live. The only reason Emori lived as long as she did was because SHE fought for herself and did anything she had to to survive.

I just think that makes such an interesting character and story. I just love watching how she approaches what happens to her and how she responds. I love that her world told her she’s worthless and deserved to die and Emori said fuck you, no I’m not, and fought to live anyways. 

I feel like a lot of people who don’t like her say it’s because she’s mean or does bad things or isn’t a perfect saint or is a bad influence or whatever and I just want to be like YES, EXACTLY. I like that she’s flawed. I like that she’s so mistrusting of the world because she’s been burned that she looks out for herself and her two people and would screw over anyone she had to. It’s way more fun to have a character like that - who has believable, understandable reasons to be like that - than a character who only exists to be the Moral Voice of Reason or isn’t allowed to actually have flaws. (Like there is a reason that Rubicon and Gimme Shelter will forever be my favorite Emori episodes. She is ruthless!!! And brilliant!!! And she will kill a man to survive.)

I think broken characters who have painful pasts and unhealed emotional wounds and fears and make questionable or outright bad choices are so much more interesting to watch and so much easier to connect to because THAT’S the human experience, baby. I might not be killing and stealing and conning people, but I sure have insecurities and fears caused by past experiences and can understand that.

I love, love, love that Emori is a con artist! Like that’s the coolest thing ever!!! She’s a brilliant manipulator and she knows how to play people. In Rubicon, she takes advantage of the fact that she looks weak and pretty and small and plays the damsel in distress to con a group of men. In Gimme Shelter, she uses the fact that her past experiences and Clarke’s contrasting privilege make her feel guilty. She’s BRILLIANT! She can use a knife and she can fight, but the way she’s made it this far in the world is by using her brain. I love that!!

I love that she manipulates and cons the audience alongside Jaha’s Merry Band of Men in Rubicon. Like she gets introduced to both the audience and the characters as this damsel in distress victim who needs help and is so harmless and then just flips the switch on us!!! Pysch!!! It was a TRAP the whole time!! Like, that’s just so fun and badass?? I love it. I love her introduction into this series so much. 

I love her early aesthetic. The blue dresses are nice but she comes into this series looking like a desert pirate bandit and that’s fucking fantastic and fun! I love it so much! I kind of miss it to be honest.

I love that she’s sassy and has a sense of humor despite how cruel the world has been to her. I love that she manages to find joy in things still. I love that she is loyal as HELL to the people she’s decided to care about and that finding acceptance and a place to belong in Spacekru allowed her to grow enough to care for an entire group of people and want to protect them. 

Which speaking of, I love her journey through this series as a whole so much. She starts off so untrusting of other people and so unwilling to try to join community (she’s so against going to try and join Skaikru at first) and eventually she finds her place and learns to love her family so MUCH. She grows so much more open with people and so much more trusting and kind as the series goes on because she finds a place that accepts her for what she is and lets her belong and she cherishes it and it changes her so much. I loved her growth through s5 and later seasons, going from someone who trusted ONE PERSON in the world and would let everyone else burned because she was scared of them hurting her to being willing to give up immortality to save her family AND others.

And I relate so much to her story of self esteem and dealing with society’s views of you. I don’t have a disability, but that feeling of being told some part of you is flawed or undesirable is relatable, and it means SO MUCH to me that Emori was given the option to make her hand normal and she said, actually, I have no flaws. I am HAPPY with how I am and it is SOCIETY’S problem that they can’t accept it, not mine. That’s a POWERFUL moment.

Anyways, this started somewhat organized and devolved into me just listing all the things I love about Emori, but really the answer is just I think she’s interesting. I think she’s complicated and real and flawed and unique and relatable and she grows and changes in interesting ways. I think she offers a unique new perspective and story to the show. And I also just think Luisa is a fantastic actress who is so fun to watch.

If you don’t feel the same way, then, like I said, seeing why I find her a fascinating, fun character probably isn’t going to change your mind, but I love her so much and I’m so glad she got added to the show. Thanks for asking for my opinion though!

[myriadnarratives]

Netflix’s Shadow and Bone: My Fangirling Thought-dump

Fair Warning: I’m a darklina, so leave now if you’re not going to be decent (I don’t bash on Mal, though, so you’re safe there)

So I binged Shadow and Bone without reading the books (judgmental people, leave now), and let me tell you, I love the show. True, there were some things I wish were different based on what I’ve been spoiled on about the books, but as a show in and of itself, it’s strong.

So here’s just a dump of my thoughts and fangirling (I use *chef’s kiss* a lot). And obviously, spoilers ahead.

***SPOILERS AHEAD***

WHAT I LOVED

- The storytelling, both narrative and visual, is exquisite. How the dialogue contributes to the storytelling, answering the audience’s questions and doubts clearly even before they’re brought up; how the visual arrangement contributes to informing the audience of what they need to know and how that timeline of knowing helps the audience in piecing together the story, the characterization, and the timeline; the tying in of characters’ storylines so audiences are not confused as to why we’re spending so much time watching the goings-on with a character. *super chef’s kiss*

The show is so organically unified in terms of characterization, visual media, dialogue contribution, and so much more that I just, uh, I cannot even! I LOVE THE ART OF IT!

- How the show dealt with race, identity, prejudice, politics, social acceptance, individual needs, personal wants, the desire for security and safety that mean differently for each character *raises both hands to the heavens in thanks* The show’s concepts hit close to home for me in terms of race, prejudice, mixed biological identity that informs social perceptions, the desire for belonging and safety and acceptance, and I think this show would hold a special place in my heart for its portrayal of these issues.

- How different sexualities and genders are portrayed so casually, as if it’s an everyday normal thing (as it should be).

- The Crows (of course) and how their story intersected with Alina’s, and how the storytelling (I’ll keep going on about the visual storytelling until I run out of breath) shows the intersections and develops the diverging stories to meld into each other

- How they showed how brilliant Kaz’s mind is. The visual storytelling of showing one scene without explanation, leading the audience to create their own assumptions on what Kaz was seeing, then having the scene turn out different once it has been explained later when things have unfolded *chef’s kiss*: the meeting between the Conductor and the First Army General, the hidden changing room, the lynx flush assignments 

- How Inej’s faith is portrayed neither negatively or positively; it’s just a thing that is not contrived but contributes to the plot, not some sort of moral policing inside or outside of the story.

- Mal! I heard he’s a jerk in the books, that’s why I didn’t want to read the books before watching the show. But god, his first scenes with the sparring, and the way Archie moved in that fight. Also how Mal’s overall storyline progressed, how his ties to Alina was shown, how his feelings got revealed to the audience even before it got revealed to Alina so the sincerity is not questioned. That True North thing! *heart eyes*

- How the issue of consent in the sexual sense is highlighted as important. The darkling literally asks “Are you sure?” before he proceeds. (Of course, this is very different from his take on non-sexual consent later in the show - like really, you literally put a control button on your hand to control her powers! Dude...)

- The exploration of Alina’s overall consent and agency. They even literally have her say her lack of it when she was in the final episodes. Even Kaz shoves it in the Darkling’s face that she doesn’t want to be a captive anymore. And throughout the show, the thought processes behind her decisions are clearly communicated, giving her agency a lot more weight as the audience can understand and sympathize with her decisions. And she’s not just a “victim” of the story; she pushes the story along with her actions, from her decision to burn the maps so that she could come with Mal, to her childhood decision to cheat the Grisha test, to something as visually simple (yet strongly narrative-affecting) as choosing the left or right path in Baghra’s escape route.

- The exploration of want. What each character wants, how one want like “security” could mean an entirely different thing for each character (i.e. the Darkling’s want of security for the Grisha, Alina’s want of security for herself, Inej’s want of security in the form of freedom, etc.). The show, being well-written, is a smorgasbord of academic analysis. Again, if I haven’t said it yet, I LOVE THE ART OF IT!

- NINA!!! God, I really like how the actress looks! There’s just something about her face that I really, really like. And then there’s Nina’s lines, the delivery, the attitude *chef’s kiss* One caveat though: I wish she wasn’t made to say “Please” when she was hanging off the ice ledge. Even though she had already warmed up to Matthias (and him to her), I would have wanted the scene to be a clash of his pride and her dignity: just like in the ship earlier, her not submitting even to his kindness (sincere or otherwise), and him having a moral crisis on helping a “witch.”

- Genya’s hand-to-hand fight *absolutely beautiful*

- The overall fight choreographies. It’s not just people punching each other and brawling; the jiu-jitsu locks and judo throws hold a special place in my practitioner’s heart, and the fights look really good, either it be for the women (Hello, Genya and Inej) or the men (Mal and Aleksander’s fight looked so different from usual brawls because of the throws).

- How the different Grishas, even the usually non-combat ones, can weaponize their abilities: Healers can, obviously, break bones; Heartrenders can stop your heart; and even the Sun Summoner can blind you.

- Jesper and Milo the goat. “Grab the goat. Hug the goat. Shut the fuck up.” And how Jesper tearfully parted with Milo LOL

- How Alina just climbed right into the get away carriage’s literal trunk. LOL!

- Kaz and the Darkling meeting. I know it’s not in the books (they’re not even in the same trilogy/duology), so having these two characters with so much gravitas meet and actually verbally spar is *chef’s kiss* 

- Inej’s first kill is to save Kaz *heart eyes*

- The Darkling’s humor! “Yes, David?” and “I’ll have to give that speech again” were hilarious!

Of course, there’s many more, generally because of how they contribute to, again, the visual and narrative storytelling and the characterizations and the plot progression and, ugh, I'll stop now or else I'll just keep going on about how much I love how this show was crafted.

NEUTRAL

- I heard that Alina was supposed to be funny in the books, but apart from the “No pressure” and “My tailbone is killing me” lines, there wasn’t really much of that humor in there--most of the humor came from Jesper’s scenes or Mal’s friends. Honestly, I think the show Alina fits the story, so I don’t really care if her humor is not as evident.

WHAT I DIDN’T LIKE

- Gosh, Netflix and the showrunners really know how to market the show. They were right when they said the first step is to cast Ben Barnes. Then the focus on the General/Darkling and Alina’s story and relationship, that sort of dark and brooding archetype getting with the green and pure protagonist, is so delicious. But of course, endgame is not meant to be. The Darkling is a manipulative, controlling, toxic person, and should be nowhere near Alina if not on equal ground. I just wish they didn't put that much focus on it in the marketing (i.e. the extra clips distributed to media sources) to make it seem like darklina could happen, especially with the story changes the show was reportedly doing. Oh well, that’s what fanfiction is for. And I guess there’s a chance for redemption in the following season? *puts on clown nose*

MY QUESTIONS AND...WISHES?

So since the show has changed the story quite a bit from the books, I'm so stoked to see where the characters’ stories lead to. I’m sure there would be similarities to the books (Nikolai and Weylan would show up, for sure), but there would be a lot of changes, I'm sure (Alina’s a Saint now, so how would that affect her life on the run and her relationship with Mal? There’s no great reveal for Aleksander’s name, so perhaps he doesn’t die? At least not that way?).

- I wish we’d see more of that internal/thought connection the Darkling and Alina seemed to have. And I wish they’d highlight further the idea of balancing, of being the only two in the world, and of how each needs/complements the other in terms of power. I just really wish they’d explore more darklina, and perhaps have it open to have a darklina ending (I’m not holding my breath for that one at all, but hey, membership to clownverse is free). At the very least, would there be a change in the Darkling’s ending (does he get stuck in the tree)? Does he get a redemption arc? Would he utter the “I do not repent” line? Would Alina and him have the shared connection, I-can-see-you-even-if-you’re-far-away bond? Would Alina somehow forgive him (hopefully only if he has changed and is not controlling and toxic anymore)? Would Alina and him have a showdown as he tries to expand the fold and she tries to close it? He has command of even the volcra now, so what would that mean for Alina’s side? Does she get an army, too? Maybe there’d be creatures of light, too? Perhaps other animal amplifiers?

- Now that Mal and Alina have more or less confessed to each other and ended up together, what would be the next hurdle in their relationship? They can’t just stay static, after all, otherwise the story of their relationship won’t be a good narrative. Season 1 touched on Mal’s fear of the Grisha (with Alina literally asking him out loud), so perhaps as Alina’s powers grow, Mal’s discomfort with her powers would show more (I hope the show doesn’t make Alina do a Slip-into-the-Darkside trope, or at least not too much to the detriment of her agency and core characterization)? Or perhaps going from that conversation with the Darkling and Mal, when Aleksander seemed to have gotten under Mal’s skin when he pointed out that due to their immortality, Aleks and Alina are endgame: maybe Mal would have that rivalry with the Darkling again and, considering Alina’s kind of psychic bond to Aleks (if they add that in), would feel that Alina might choose the Darkling in the end? I just hope the characters aren’t reduced to stereotypes of 1-girl-2-guys-and-girl-can’t-choose love triangle. Even season 1 explicitly had Alina cut off ties with Mal first (because she mistakenly thought he didn’t want anything to do with her anymore since he’s not replying to her letters) before she went to the Darkling romantically.

- What’s next for the Crows? Would Inej eventually go to Sankta Alina? Perhaps the Ice Court heist is next for the Crows. Nikolai has to show up some time, right? How would that tie in with Alina’s storyline?

I have a lot of other questions on what happens to the characters and the overall story, and I'm really glad that the show has diverged from the books to an extent that a lot of things could be possible. I hope Season 2 does happen, and I hope it’s as good as Season 1, especially since COVID is still happening and filming and filming options are limited. If Season 2 does happen, I hope it gets release soon :P

[teaveetamer]

Looking at Edelgards wiki page, and aside from all the spelling mistakes, grammar mistakes and horrible sentence structure, dear LORD is it filled with such vague, unspecific language to make her look better. Saying in "some endings" she passes on the role of Emperor to someone else while in others she "rules for an unspecified time" to support she steps down after the war, completely ignoring Lysitheas ending where she rules for the rest of her life and not clarifying the specific (1/3)

numbers of endings where she retires (I counted, its two, and even then only in her later years). Crimson Flower apparently ends "much faster" than the other routes instead of directly stating its three months faster. Saying she only spoke so harshly to Dimitri before executing him to allow him to "hate her" until the end (how compassionate of her /s, also I cannot find any proof of this in the script so either I'm missing something or the editor is just posting headcanons). (2/3)

All in all, Edelgards entire personality wiki section is a complete joke. The person that wrote it should have their editing priviledges removed. (3/3)

I mean we know who is making all of those edits. It’s our resident contrarian that people were sending a dozen asks about yesterday. It just comes off as another of many poorly thought out arguments, since they keep pointing to specific supports or text in the game when that’s... Not really necessary. We all played the game, you only do that shit when you’re trying to win an argument.

Honestly if I were in control of the page it’d look more like this:

Edelgard holds herself with a dignified air, but full of melancholy and solemn wistfulness. which can make her appear outwardly cold. As heir of the Adrestian Empire, she is an exemplary student and a natural leader. She keeps a modest stoic front. rarely cutting loose and maintains formality. She rarely cuts loose and maintains formality at all times. Her colleagues classmates (who the fuck calls the people they went to school with “colleagues”?) express great surprise whenever she does relax. While She is generally a private person, she does recognize the importance of her duties and expresses confidence and faith in the abilities of her allies. and she is rarely shown opening up to other people.(the previous line did not make sense, her recognizing the importance of duty has no relationship to being a private person).

She is a capable dancer, having taught Dimitri at a young age and has a talent for drawing portraits, though she is embarrassed to show them to others. (These really belong in a separate “skills” section but whatever the wiki doesn’t appear to have that category for this game). She has a personal nickname, El, of whom which she only allows very close individuals, namely her family, to call her.

Though she tries to keep it a secret, Edelgard is deathly afraid of rats, as they remind her of a past she is uncomfortable with. Edelgard is deathly afraid of rats since they remind her of a past she is uncomfortable with, though she tries to keep this fact a secret. She is also fears afraid of the ocean since because she cannot swim.

Edelgard is far more complex than she initially appears, as she had been scheming to dismantle the corrupt systems of Fódlan, namely the influence of the Church of Seiros, the oppression of the Crest systems, and the hidden machinations of the Agarthans. Driven by her desire to remove these influences, she is willing to sacrifice both her life and reputation as she believes that the only means of achieving her goals is through war and sometimes underhanded tactics. (Such unnecessary fluff). Edelgard will use whatever it takes to achieve her goals, using all three of the aforementioned systems begrudgingly as they are the current means for her to amass any sort of power and influence in order to instigate meaningful change in them. Edelgard is extremely driven, and she is willing to use whatever it takes to achieve her goals. This is evidenced by her willingness to work with Those Who Slither in the Dark, as she believes they are the only ones who can help her amass enough power to achieve her ends.

Edelgard strongly believes that the ends will justify the means if she were to win the war, as she despises the structure of Fódlan society and believes it has to be replaced by a more just system under which humanity can flourish. In the Azure Moon route she states she went to war after weighing all options and determined that it would be much faster with far fewer casualties than to continue on in the continent's current state. This is reflected through the Crimson Flower route that ends much sooner than the other two, albeit a later war is impending against the remaining Agarthians, where she manages to wipe them all out, compared to the other routes where the Agarthans survive to return at a later time. As a result, she does realize the gravity of her orders but chooses to remain steadfast in her belief in improving society for everyone. She also does not desire to remain Emperor for too long as according to a tea time conversation with her, Edelgard states she has no intention of handing the throne to any children she might have, instead planning to pass it on to someone brilliant and kind, which a few endings do, while others she rules for an unspecified time. (Literally this entire paragraph is unnecessary fluff.)

Dimitri has had a significant impact on her life as the two are step-siblings when her mother Anselma married King Lambert under the name "Patricia." In their childhood, neither were aware of their relationship to each other, but they were close nonetheless, with Dimitri affectionately calling her "El" which only those particularly close to her are allowed to call her. Dimitri gifted her a dagger which she held well into the present, which was symbolically meant to tell her to carve out her own ideals and face the numerous hardships she had to endure up until the present. If met at the Goddess Tower during the Academy Phase, she admits that her first love was a Faerghus noble who she cannot recall, implied to be Dimitri. Despite her past feelings towards him, it is heavily implied for most of the game that Edelgard no longer remembers Dimitri nor that he gifted her the dagger, possibly as a result of her trauma from the experiments. In the Azure Moon route, she accepts Dimitri's invitation to parley on a whim. Despite failing to come to an understanding with one another to end the war peacefully, she is nonetheless able to express her gratitude to him for the dagger and the strength it provided her when he reminds her that it was a parting gift from him. (Everything in this paragraph would really be more at home in a separate “relationships” subcategory, which this wiki also does not feature.)

Edelgard's personality and ambitions are a result of tragedies that painted her view of the world. The traumatic imprisonment of her siblings and herself due to the experiments of Those Who Slither in the Dark created her hatred of Crests.  Edelgard’s personality and ambitions are a direct result of the suffering she faced at the hands of TWSITD. Her imprisonment and the subsequent experimentation on herself and her family were a key factor in her disillusionment with Fódlan and the Church of Seiros. (Don’t ask me how she got to that conclusion. Also take a shot for every time this dude uses the word “tragic”.) She also despises most nobility, especially the Adrestian Nobles, as they are partially responsible for the circumstances leading to said experiments, but also due to the fact that Crests are used as societal leverage by most nobles as a sign of their prestige. She even shows sympathy and pity to Miklan, whom she praises for becoming a leader despite being disowned and leading a group of bandits, calling his death "a waste". One of her main goals is to dismantle the current nobility system and having the people earn their position by merit rather than birthright, which she achieves in her ending in the Crimson Flower path. (More fluff.)

Edelgard has a complex view of the current Church of Seiros as her tragic history with the Insurrection of the Seven along with the knowledge given by her father regarding the truth of the War of Heroes paints her radical opinion. She bears a large distrust of Rhea due to her withholding of knowledge and context behind the history of the church, even pointing out some of the Church's hypocrisy of remaining neutral across Fódlan, yet allowing the Crest system to flourish that Edelgard despises. She does not fully dismiss the concept of faith however, even allowing it to continue to exist in her rule, though heavily monitored by the Empire. (Oh hey Edelstan is acknowledging her state run religion at least) She even tries to learn more about it from Manuela but does not plan on ever becoming a devout follower by any means. When as an enemy, however, she will cause those who are faithful to be afraid for their lives and flee the Empire. However, during Crimson Flower, several Knights of Seiros that have become unnerved by Rhea flee to the Empire, while those involved with the Church in the Empire flee for the Eastern, but then flee to Faerghus due to lack of a military. (Fluff.)

Despite this, Edelgard expresses fear and anxiety over the consequences of her actions her chosen path should Byleth side with her in Crimson Flower, as she understands that she would be her actions make her responsible for the deaths loss of countless lives. (lmao “the deaths of countless lives”) This is proven further when Randolph and Ladislava die defending Garreg Mach from the Church, and how she laments that another life is lost in the war because of her choices. She mourned Dimitri's death, letting herself be hated by Dimitri to the end by speaking harshly to him to let his perception of her remain, lamenting how she could not save him from Thales's manipulation. (wut) Dimitri's death struck her to the point that Byleth questioned if Edelgard was crying, which she denied, claiming that the Edelgard who cried had perished years ago.

Edelgard's relationship with Byleth greatly affects her personality and fate in the war. Edelgard admits in her support that she feared expresses fear that she would have become "a harsh ruler with a heart of ice" if she had to walk her path alone. In the other routes where she is not taught by them or where Byleth sides with the church against her, this becomes a reality and ultimately leads to her early demise. This is likely expressed in the conversation with Dimitri, where, in the Japanese version, she retorts Dimitri's statement over the lessons he learned with his friends and Byleth with her stating that he can understand that because he has what she lacks, referencing how Edelgard felt Byleth was the only one she could consider an equal that is not bound by status but simply as Edelgard. As her enemy, Edelgard will express regret that the two did not walk the same path and even find some semblance of closure falling to Byleth's sword in the Silver Snow and Verdant Wind paths. Should they choose to support her, she has a far easier time expressing kindness and regret over her actions over the course of the game herself. She will opt to force her enemies to surrender instead of wiping them out, where she even offered to spare Rhea and the Church followers if they surrendered, while the former was willing to sacrifice the city the final battle takes place in. (This doesn’t even make sense, she never forced Rhea to surrender she just half heartedly gave her the option of surrender). She also has several fleeting moments of peace and happiness, such as when she takes to drawing portraits of Byleth, which she is self conscious about due to their lack of quality in her eyes.

That attachment towards Byleth is even perhaps stronger than that of the other house leaders. When they teach the Black Eagles, she makes several attempts to get Byleth to understand her world view, even though Hubert advised her it would not be wise and personally invited Byleth to her coronation. In the Crimson Flower route, Dorothea notes that among the Black Eagles, Edelgard was the most emotionally affected by Byleth's disappearance. Edelgard's fondness for Byleth goes so far as to encourage Byleth to call her El and even let Byleth give her orders on the battlefield despite her dislike of not being in control. Despite her earlier statement that she does not cry, she openly cries at the end of the Crimson Flower route when Byleth supposedly dies after slaying Rhea, but is overjoyed when they are revived. Edelgard's bond with Byleth can ultimately result in the marriage of the two, regardless of their gender. It is in her proposal to them at this level where she asks that they stay close to her and that she will need them for the rest of her life. Regardless of her relationship status with Byleth, in the Crimson Flower route, it is through their influence that she ultimately achieves her goals and is remembered far more kindly than in the other routes where she perishes. (Again, would be more at home in a separate relationships section since it says almost nothing about Edelgard as an individual. You could maybe keep the bit about her disliking not being in control, but I’d combine it with an earlier paragraph since it doesn’t make much sense as its own thing.)

[manic-panic-sapphic]

I want to fall in love. I want to have a girlfriend who will some day be my wife. I want someone to protect. I want to- no, I need to feel like someone needs me.

But when you've been bullied, treated like dirt by your own family and stabbed in the back by people pretending to be your friends, its difficult to trust others and be honest with them. It's even harder to be honest with yourself, and let yourself be vulnerable. I walk around with the biggest smile on my face, being the relaxed, happy-go-lucky, self confident gal who's friendly to everyone. But the minute someone wants to get closer than arm's length with me? My defences go up and I can't get them down.

And that's when I start to act off. I become cranky, aggressive, hostile, sometimes even manipulative.

And I become terrified of the person I become.

Out of fear, the inability to trust and the need to protect myself from emotional hurt, I start to hurt and control others.

I hate it. I don't want to be that person.

But I can't stop it.

So I ask of you: if you ever have children of your own... please. Treat them with love and acceptance. Support them when they need it. Respect them as their own selves. Don't use their achievements as a way to brag about your own "brilliant parenting skills" and make them feel like you're just a trophy to you. Make it clear that they're strong enough to achieve anything they want, and don't make them feel like they would be nothing if not for you.

And if you see someone being bullied or put down? Offer your help to them. Ask if there's anything you can do to help them. Or just give them a hug and offer to listen to their worries. Trust me, you don't need to have the answers or a solution, but by just lending an ear, by showing you care, even a little, you're making that person feel like they're a little bit less alone. Or if you don't feel confident to do that, at least alert someone who could - a reliable adult or even your own friend. Just speak up. Help them find the support they need. Be a friend. And for the love of all energies universal: don't you dare fucking join in, let alone start it. Don't be the reason someone is found overdosed on antidepressants in their bedroom 2 years down the line.

I was broken by the world as a kid, and am now struggling to fix myself to lead a comfortable adult life. I want nothing more than to have a stable marriage with a good job, a nice home, a loving wife and perhaps even children, but I don't know how long it will be before I can let my defences down and allow myself to trust someone with that level of intimacy again. I'm putting in so much work to better myself, to learn to trust and be a better person than I currently am, but it's not easy. So let's pave the way for future generations and start being kind to one another, so that they can live in a world completely free of bullying, abuse, crushing expectations of perfection, racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, and other societal faults that broke us and the ones who came before us.

Because I wouldn't want anyone to feel as broken and hostile to people who only want to help as I do.

[pjartama]

The Taveril’domaine Trip: Chapter 1 - At The Door

Written by PJ Artama (in collaboration with ThatJunkieFinn and Penthepoet)

Upon arriving in the famed Dekn city of Taveril’domaine with Zachriel and his bodyguards, Valek and Branuul, Ka’yel was hit with a wave of nostalgia. The tall city towers, the bustling streets filled with Dekn men and women and children, and the various districts they walked past. It was like she never left home. She had spotted a few changes here and there since she left to stay in the Library, but overall, it was mostly how she remembered it.

After hours of searching and finally settling into their temporary residence, word had reached them that even though it had been around a month or so since the door first appeared outside the city on May 15th, there were already rumors being spread around about the door. Some were saying that the door had actually opened and something on the other side got out. Some said the Arkn had summoned the gods and as a result caused the appearance of the door. True or false, these were just rumors. You had to be up close and personal to see the truth for yourself. But after Marchosias Aversen released his propaganda video to the Dekn population, no one dared to go anywhere near the door.

When Ka’yel heard this, she immediately understood what this was. She had learned enough from her father and from various historical books about using scare tactics. She also gleaned enough about the Master of Beguilement and Debauchery himself to know that this video was just a ruse. A ploy to get people to stay away from the door so he could take control over the door and do Hethe knows what with it. She assumed it involved his “Society” somehow. She knew better of course. They all did. Anyone with logic and common sense could see right through the facade he was putting up and how much of an egotistical son of a bitch he was. Despite the warnings and threats, his shitty propaganda video was not going to stop them from seeing the door.

The day finally arrived and they all walked together out of the city and towards the door. Ka’yel was feeling butterflies in her stomach and looked more nervous in contrast to Zachriel’s confidence as he led the charge. It stemmed less from fear and more excitement at finally being able to see the door. She knew that Zachriel was feeling the same way, he just had more experience in not showing it. Many things were running through her mind; what would it be like? What would they find there? Had Marchosias already gotten his greedy hands on the door? Would she have a chance to touch it? She didn’t know. All she could think about at that moment was keeping herself together despite growing more anxious with every step closer.

The door was near in sight. Its shiny golden surface was dazzling brightly in the sun, decorated with beautiful symbols, runes, and gems that too sparkled with the sunlight. It was breathtaking. As they got closer, however, she could see a group of people gathered around the door. They appeared to be… worshipping it. All of them were wearing various robes, dresses, suits, and outfits of all shapes and sizes... all of them coated in a signature purple and white color scheme. She had assumed correctly, they were members of the Society of the Purple Rose and she immediately knew that this was not going to be good.

Some of these figures leading this worship looked up and saw them approaching, immediately causing one of them to point to some Purple Rose guards and gesturing them in their direction. These guards nodded and began to intercept them. Upon seeing this, Zachriel silently told everyone to stop and wait and see what these guards wanted from them. Slowly, the guards arrived. They were ornate with brilliant purple-colored silk undergarments and shining silver armor, images of purple roses carved into the metal, and more. Their horns on their helmets supremely menacing in appearance and holding weapons at their side. She had to hand it to them, they at least had some style.

The guard in charge stepped forward. 

“Turn back strangers.” It was a woman’s voice.“This door is currently in use by the

Society of the Purple Rose as declared by the God-Emperor Elucidis himself. Henceforth, you all are not permitted to approach it beyond this point. Turn around now and return back to the city.”

“When will it be available to be seen alone?” Zachriel inquired.

“Ah, not for a while I’m afraid as our God-Emperor has exclusively booked us here for three months.”

They all stood there with a look of surprise and frustration.

“Three months?!” exclaimed Zachriel.

“That is correct.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

“I am not. I apologize if you wished to see the door right this second, but this is the situation. I must now ask you again to leave.”

“Who in Hethe’s name needs to book a door for three months? Ka’yel angrily exclaimed, “It’s in the public domain, why is it being used privately by you?”

“As I have explained, it is our God-Emperor’s will that this happen. The door is a sign of his power and he has now ensured that we stay by it at all times.”

“Bullshit. Marchosias Aversen is just using its sudden appearance to manipulate you into believing he made it appear and scaring everybody away so that your cult can worship it without interruption.”

“How dare you call the Society of the Purple Rose a cult!”

“Then what are you then?” Ka’yel yelled as she pushed past Zachriel to the front. “A peace-loving charity that believes in the power of Elucidis who believes that all will be well if you give in to him? Don’t give me that crap. This “society” is nothing more than a fabrication created in the mind of a twisted monster in the body of a man. You’ve been lied to. Conditioned to follow him and his so-called “beliefs”. He’s using you to get what he wants.”

The guards drew their blades out towards her and she took a step back in shock.

“Blasphemer!” she yelled. “You dare to speak against our great God-Emperor and his chosen few?! He has saved us all from our darknesses. He foretold this event was to come and he would guide us to a better world. You are misguided to ignore him. Who do you think you are coming here to tell us such lies?”

Ka’yel suddenly felt Valek and Branuul on either side of her, both of their arms crossed.

“That’s my secretary you’re talking to, ma’am,” came Zachriel’s low angered voice from behind them, “and I do not appreciate you pointing your weapons at her. If you so much as lay a finger on her, there will be consequences. I will be damned to let you harm her in any way!” 

His eyes flashed a deep orange-red at the guards, causing them to take a step back before he took a deep breath and calmly spoke again. 

“Excuse me for my sudden outburst. Now, let us put our differences aside and maybe we can negotiate a way to see the door today.”

The guards looked at him, thought for a moment and they soon lowered their swords from Ka’yel’s throat. But they didn’t put them away.

“Very well,” said the head guard, looking back at Ka’yel. “I apologize, Miss. I forgot some people just don’t understand our God-Emperor and his ways and I am a very devout believer in him. I must continue to control my emotions as he would scold me for not saving face.” She turned back to Zachriel. “As for negotiating, I’m afraid I must insist that it is not going to be possible.”

“Listen, ma’am,” said Zachriel, once again taking the front, “we are on a tight schedule at the moment as we are only going to be in Taveril’domaine for a few days and we don’t have any other time to spare to come back another time. Least of all three months. So, we’d greatly appreciate it if we could get a closer look at the door right now.”

“Again, I’m sorry, but we cannot allow that.”

“Why not? We’re only here to see the door up close. We swear we won’t disturb the society’s prayer time and we’ll keep our mouths shut while we examine the door. Won’t we?” Everybody in the group nodded. “I don’t see why that should be so harmful?”

“Uh, w-well…” the guard stuttered. “It’s… it’s b-because your presence has an effect on everyone else. W-we need the space to um… concentrate without sensing others than ourselves.”

“Well, surely if we went to the other side of the door we’d be fine right? You’d still have your space and there’d be a door between us and your lot. Better yet, we can stand at a distance behind that door and you’d still have your space. Everybody wins.”

“W-well, n-no. I-”

“Furthermore, I am Zachriel Rofocale, the Dekn Lord of Memories and Devastation. I have more knowledge on things relating to the Old World than most and I must glean some insight and more information about this door so it may be preserved on the shelf of my library, and you are blocking my path to see it.”

“Uh, w-well n-now...”

Ka’yel noticed that the guard seemed to be sweating and stammering a lot. Something wasn’t right here. 

“You can tell it, can’t you?” she telepathically said to Zachriel. “It’s more than just scaring people away. They’re hiding something.”

“Yes, and they’re not doing a good job at hiding it,” he replied.

“So, what’s the plan?”

“I’m working on it. I didn’t expect to have to deal with cultists today.”

The guard cleared her throat.

“L-look, Mr. Rofocale, or whoever you are. I understand your humble desire to see this door, but we have our orders, and I’m afraid we’re going to have to escort you from this area by force.”

Suddenly, Ka’yel was struck by a brilliant idea.

“I’ve got this one,” she telepathically said to Zachriel.

She looked directly at the guards.

“No, you’re not,” she said.

The guards all looked at her once more with a look of disdain on their faces this time.

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me,” she said as she walked up to the front once more. “You are instead going to take us to the door right now or I’ll cause more problems for you.”

The guards laughed upon hearing that.

“You’ll cause more problems if we don’t take you to the door? What, in the name of our God-Emperor Elucidus, makes you think you can order us around?”

“Well, allow me to introduce myself. My name is Ka'yel Luueth'dei of House Luueth'dei,” she said as she reached under her shirt, pulled out her Luueth'dei emblem necklace, and held it up for the guard to see.

"If the name Luueth'dei rings any bells, you'll know that I am related to Mastema Luueth'dei, the Dekn Master of Dreams and Nightmares whom you may also find works alongside Alastor Andromalius, the Dekn Master of the Gallows, who I'm sure would find it very interesting to see what it is you all are doing and hiding from the rest of the world. After all, your “Society” still has to abide by certain Dekn laws set in place, right?"

She got right up into the head guard's face.

"So, unless you and your Purple Rose friends want me to ensure you receive a visit from the Master of the Gallows, you will take myself and my posse closer to see this door. Is that clear?"

The guards stood in stunned silence at her half-truth. She hoped it would be enough to get them through. The head guard nodded, closed her eyes, and stood there for a few minutes, then finally opened them to face Ka’yel’s.

“We will… escort you to be at a closer distance to the door. About 2-3 yards, no more.

You will also be given a short time to look upon it. I’d suggest you gather your notes quickly.”

They all nodded and they were quickly escorted to their destination.

The site of the door was more beautiful than anything Ka’yel could’ve imagined. Even from a distance of 2-3 yards, she could somewhat hear the distant whispers of the Hethe. She was making so many notes, she feared she might run out of ink in her pen. But she had to get everything she could see down. It was the only chance she had. Zachriel was intensely analyzing it. Making sure he recorded every single observation into his memory as well as reminiscing a bit. The Old World symbols, she imagined, probably reminded him of home. It was a nice, yet sad thing as well. However, their time there soon came to a halt and they were forcefully removed from the distance and were told to be on their way. They had done it. Though they were not as close enough to touch it, their allowed proximity was enough to satisfy her.

Hours after the incident, Ka’yel, Zachriel, Valek, and Branuul were all sitting together at a table in a restaurant close by to where they were staying. Testrath’s Cuisine it was called. It had a nice atmosphere. Calm, yet loud at the same time with its rich architecture and design. It brought people together. Ka’yel used to come here sometimes to enjoy a nice meal and to simply read and write at a table in a corner. Taking a bite out of her Ata’karai curry had warm memories flooding her mind. Oh Hethe, how she missed this.

“Well, that was quite a trip,” Zachriel said as he took a bite out of his Onsapur curry.

“Tell me about it,” Ka’yel remarked, “those cultists were absolutely up to something back there.”

“Indeed. Nice job threatening them by the way.”

Ka’yel shrugged. “Well, I had to get us to the door somehow because nothing else was working.”

“And you did a great job at it. Didn’t she guys?”

Valek and Branuul, both eating, nodded in agreement before returning to their plates of food. Ka’yel smiled.

Zachriel took a few more bites out of his curry in annoyance.

“Sadly, I had hoped we’d be right up to see it. But, no. Marchosias and his fucking purple flower cult had to get there first.”

Ka’yel sighed. “Yeah. And what really ticks me off the most, is that he’s gotten everyone convinced that the door is dangerous so that he can use it to further his own gain and worship. Furthermore, those people who “worship” him are out of their minds!”

“The bastard has a way with people, that’s for damn sure.”

“And not the good kind of way,” Ka’yel said before returning back to her meal.

“Regardless of him,” Zachriel continued, “whatever that part of the cult is hiding seems very important and detrimental if it were discovered by a member of the public.”

“It must have some relation to the door I would assume.”

“My thoughts exactly. And it’s making me more curious about the door and what could be behind it as a result. Argh, I want to know so badly!”

"Same here. I just wanted to touch it initially, but now there are more questions surrounding it. Hethe above, it's so frustrating not being able to get close enough to touch it."

"Exactly! And very unsatisfying too."

Zachriel then sighed. "But with them in the way, guarding that door like there's no tomorrow from all sides, I guess we'll never know."

Ka'yel sighed and took another bite out of her curry.

"Yeah… As much as the thought of trying to sneak by them sounds cool, it could cause more problems for us if we did and were caught."

She then looked at her notebook filled with her somewhat rushed handwritten notes on the door. Thank goodness it was still legible enough to read.

"At the very least, we have enough information from what we could get to do an analysis on it and write a book about it."

"Very true," Zachriel agreed. "I wish we had more. But this will certainly suffice."

“What could you discern about it?”

Zachriel put his spoon down and thought for a second.

“Obviously, it’s unnatural. Even though we were still at a distance, I could still hear those whispers that were mentioned. It’s just as the rumors say, that’s the tongue of the Hethe coming through. So, I’d have to imagine they had a hand in this door’s appearance. To how much extent that was, I have no idea.”

“You seemed to recognize some of those symbols on the door.”

Zachriel chuckled. “That I did. There were only a few of them that I could discern their meaning, and plenty of them were very unknown to me. But there’s no denying that they were all definitively Old World symbols.”

“Did it remind you of home somewhat?”

Zachriel initially seemed hesitant to answer, but eventually, he nodded and looked down at what remained of his Onsapur curry. Ka’yel immediately felt guilty.

“I-I’m sorry Zachriel. I didn’t mean to-”

He put a hand up to interrupt her.

“It’s fine Kay. I’m just… thinking a bit. Seeing those symbols made me nostalgic. Like I was back home in Elysia again. I felt happiness, joy, things I hadn’t felt in a long time. Yet it also made me feel… sad, and... alone. Being here in this new world, it all still feels... surreal, you know? To know you’re one of the last living remnants of a world long past… that the home you once knew, your friends, and your... family… are all gone now… and you’re still here… carrying their memories… until you’re gone too…”

His voice trailed off somewhat as tears formed around his eyes. He put his face in his hands and silently cried for a moment.

Ka’yel immediately got out of her chair, moved past Branuul, and sat right next to Zachriel. Without hesitation, she pulled him into her arms, then wrapped them around him to comfort him as tears started to form around her eyes as well.

“Oh, Zachriel. I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry.”

Zachriel eventually wrapped his arms around Ka’yel and they sat there like that for another minute or so until Zachriel pulled away from her, sniffed, and then took a deep breath in to calm down.

“I’m okay now, Kay. Thank you,” he said as he wiped his tears away. “I’m not sure what I’d do without your help sometimes.”

Ka’yel smiled and wiped her own tears away.

“Now then, I’m not feeling like eating the rest of my curry at the moment. So, if anyone else is not feeling hungry either I think we’ll all leave a tab for the fine people who provided this delicious cuisine and be on our way. What do you think guys?”

Everybody at the table nodded.

“Very well. Let’s head on back then.”

And as the sun was starting to set, they all paid for their food and left the restaurant full and more cheerful than they were when they entered and made their way back to their residence in Taveril’domaine.

[secret-diary-of-an-fa]

An Invisible Bastard and Five or So Underwhelming Fantasies (Invisible Man and Fantasy Island Review)

TRIGGER WARNING: Discussion of domestic abuse, gaslighting and implied rape in a film with reference to how abusers who commit those things work in real life.

ALSO, SPOILER ALERT!

The Invisible Man is one of the most tense viewing experiences I’ve had in a cinema for a long time, despite the fact that its big horror-movie threat is just a normal dude wearing a suit that makes him invisible. The reason for this is that it’s a tale about abuse, gaslighting, trauma and psychological isolation that actually seems to have a pretty good handle on how those things works. The titular Invisible Man was an abuser who controlled every aspect of his victim’s life even before she ran away and he figured out how to turn himself invisible to pursue her like the world’s rapiest poltergeist. Thanks in large part to the sterling sympatico acting going on between Elisabeth Moss (playing our victim-hero) and Oliver Jackson-Cohen (the Invisible Cunt himself), he’s a terrifying and unsettling presence even before the film’s more fantastical elements kick in. Just watching him have a freak out and punch through a car window while still fully visible is unnerving in a way that even unstoppable monsters usually aren’t. Moss’s reactions as the traumatised abuse-survivor Cecilia feel entirely sympathetic and reasonable, balancing the need for the character to have agency with a realistic portrayal of someone being driven mad by a threat nobody else can perceive. The fact that nobody believes what she’s going through, even when she lays out exactly what’s going on, heightens the pervading sense of dread because we’re aware that, in real life, abusers can manipulate and arrange situations that force implausibility onto their victims while real-life trauma simultaneously affects the brain in a way that makes it hard to convey your experiences in an ordered and believable fashion. It’s genuinely scary because- invisibility aside- it feels completely real. All of which makes the inevitable cathartic pay-off all the more satisfying.

Hollywood (here meaning the whole mainstream film and TV industry, not just a small, Gwyneth Paltrow-infested corner of L.A.) is really bad at portraying abusers and telling stories about abuse. Abusive, controlling bastards in movies and television tend to suffer from one of two problems:. Number One is the ‘Straw Abuser’ problem where their behaviour is so unlikely and badly-explained that it’s impossible to take them seriously as an antagonist. They exist solely to prove somebody’s point and as such warrant neither the audience’s hatred nor its fear. One good example of this is that bloke from Colossal, who seems to be evil for no other reason than the fact he’s a working class guy with a beard. Pretty sure there should have been more to it than that. Problem Number Two is ‘Killgrave Syndrome’, where the abusive bastard’s antics are so malevolent and otherworldly and their screen presence is so compelling and entertaining that you forget you’re meant to loathe and fear them. Instead, you just find yourself rooting for them to sink to ever-greater depths of malice and depravity because it might be funny. Your brain takes one look at them and files them in the same category as Wily Coyote, Dick Dastardly and Doctor Evil (who didn’t spend six years at evil medical school to be called ‘mister’).  As such, I have to praise The Invisible Man for creating a story about abuse with a horrifyingly believable abuser, that still keeps the victim at its emotional centre.

It’s hard to make such a well-worn and pre-loved premise as “guy turns himself invisible and goes mad with power” scary, but The Invisible Man manages it by making the invisibility almost incidental and focussing instead on creating a believable scenario with characters who feel like real people.

However, for every amazing film, there must be a film made of ennui and poop to balance it out. Such is the rule of the universe: no light without its shadow, no high without a corresponding low, no Leonard Cohen’s The Future without The Human League’s The Lebanon. Conveniently for me, I don’t have to look very far to find The Invisible Man’s counterpart. If The Invisible Man takes a boring, overdone premise and makes it great, then Fantasy Island (which came out around the same time) takes a brilliant, wondrous premise and turns it into a study in disappointment.

The premise being wasted in this case is that there’s a magic island that can make your fantasies come true, but will also twist them to punish you in macabre and horrifying ways. In a horror film with a core concept like that, you’d expect to see all sorts of insane things. You’d expect to see nerds exploring fantasy worlds only to discover what it’s like to be cooked alive inside their armour by dragon-fire. You’d expect someone’s sexual fantasy to devolve into a Cronenberg-esque nightmare straight from The Society or Bodymelt (google it). You’d expect to see people who dream of being beautiful ending up mutilated in the name of aesthetic perfection. You’d expect fantasies about meeting famous painters or musicians or writers or stars to turn into fights for the death against warped and malevolent versions of those people (just like in the internet musical thing about actual cannibal Shia LeBoufe). None of that happens. In fact, nothing remotely interesting happens.

You see, the people who end up on Fantasy Island are all boring cunts. There’s a couple of tedious brothers who dream of having it all and get to live it up in a mansion with supermodels until its invaded by the previous owner- a mob-boss in a clown mask. There’s a generic guy who dreams of serving in the military with his dead hero father and ends up having to watch his dear old dad die with his own eyes (which should have been an emotional moment, but wasn’t, because he has no discernible personality). There’s a lass who spends her whole time moping about shitty life choices and fantasises about going back in time to change them. She does and ends up with a loving family, which doesn’t change the fact she’s consumed with guilt about someone who died in an accident she was involved in. She asks for a do-over on that, instead, throwing away the family, and nearly dies trying to save someone she can’t save… not because it’s impossible, but because she’s basically bloody useless. Finally, there’s a girl who dreams about getting revenge on a childhood bully and the childhood bully herself who gets kidnapped and taken to the island to be punished.

The bullied girl is the only interesting or relatable character in the whole debacle, since she seems to be experiencing an emotion relating to something that actually happened to her, while the bully herself is a loathsome vacuous berk. Unfortunately, Fantasy Island thinks it’s smarter than it actually is, so the bullied girl turns out to be the one manipulating the fantasies to make them turn out badly (oh, fuck you: there was a spoiler warning at the top and I refuse to feel guilty about ruining this dreck for you), while the bully gets to have a redemption arc and save the day. Just fucking once, I’d like a modern horror film to present me with a hateful, vapid turd and then let me watch them die in an entertaining way while the weirdo gets a happy ending. This whole ‘let’s explore the hidden humanity of total twats at the expense of interesting characters’ thing is no longer fucking subversive: it just validates dickheads. And trust me, dickheads are really good at self-validating. The self-absorbed pricks don’t need any fucking encouragement. Fuck, I miss when horror films used to use these fucking tossers to bulk out their body count. Actually, I miss when spree killers used to use these fucking tossers to bulk out their body count, too, but that was more recent. And since I can visualise the expressions of horror on many of your faces, I should also say don’t get yer knickers in a twist: I’m joking.

Expect more reviews when people finally realise that coronavirus isn’t the end of the world and the cinemas reopen. Until, then, expect increasingly surreal and tangential blogs about whatever the fuck I feel like.