#ill be fine with or without someone
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saltcxrcle · 4 months ago
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why is my dad the way that he is T-T
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choccy-milky · 10 months ago
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sometimes you gotta lure your overly-studious ravenclaw gf into spending time with you 🥰 📚 ( from 'Every Teardrop is a Waterfall' by Kat_12739 on ao3, GO READ IT!!! the first story is about seb falling sick and still pushing himself/not admitting he's sick until he ends up in the hospital, the second story is about the birth of seb and clora's daughter and seb's reaction to clora almost dying in childbirth, and the third is about dealing with a fussy newborn lewis😭🥹THEY'RE SO GOOD AND SWEET AND SOMEWHAT SAD (not to mention beautifully written) so go check it out!!💖💖 )
#READ SO I CAN YAP TO SOMEONE ABOUT THEM🙏😩💘#the seb sickfic made me realize how much i needed barely functioning and sick seb (but him still trying to be tough)#theres also a part that cracked me up bc at one point seb is so sick he cant even see straight but he just thinks to himself:#eh its fine.... ill just ask ominis how HE functions without vision later🤷 LMFAO#so stubborn...JUST LET CLORA TAKE CARE OF YOU MFER🤺🤺🤺#defs gonna be drawing more from it especially sick seb LMAO but also seb having a tea party with celeste🥹🥹#hogwarts legacy#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow x oc#sebastian sallow x mc#sebastian x mc#hogwarts legacy fanfiction#sebastian sallow fanfiction#hphl#choccyart#also i was never planning on writing anything about clora giving birth or abt the kids so to be able to read it WAS AMAZING#THERES A PART WHERE SEB IS HOLDING CELESTE AND CRYING AT CLORAS BEDSIDE THAT I NEED TO DRAW😭😭#LIKE SRSLY seb being conflicted and not even wanting to HOLD celeste bc he doesnt know if clora is alive or not... IT WAS SO SAD BUT GOOD#i honestly dont know what seb would do if clora died in childbirth tbh.......i could honestly see him resenting celeste#esp since she looks so much like clora😭😭#LETS JUST NOT THINK ABOUT IT!😃👍#(still thinking about it)#like this line in the fic: “Sebastian hesitated; if this was Clora’s last gift to him he wasn’t sure he wanted it.”#😭😭😭ITS SO GOOD UGHHHHH😭 TY AGAIN FOR WRITING THESE💖IM SO TOUCHEDDD💖💖
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vaguely-concerned · 22 days ago
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there's a self-help/mental health adjacent post that's going around and it seems to be really helpful for a lot of people which is very good. I also personally hate it with all my fucking heart
#it's the anhedonia one btw lmao#if i. have to be exposed to one more goddamn cbt-ass advice post in my life. I will start tearing throats out with my teeth#and I will have earned the right to because I've been through the fucking TRENCHES over the years man#I think it's the appeal to urgency at the end however ruefully humorously packaged that ohohoho. really grrrrinds my gears.#this is obviously not what the person is trying to do with that but the unavoidable implication that the reason you might still#be suffering is that you just haven't tried hard enough to change to like things to open your eyes... hey. respectfullly. fuck off#peak advice for mild to moderate symptoms of mental illness thoughtlessly presented as universally applicable#without any consideration for the deeper thing you're saying -- that if someone is in a real bad way and DOESN'T get better#it's their own responsibility and they just haven't tried hard enough. in trying to be kind you are being so desperately cruel#to the people who are struggling the most. bitch I am fucking GREAT at liking things! it's one of my best skills!! I'm generally curious!#my capacity for enthusiasm and intellectual joy over any old thing that strikes my fancy is legendary and often I suspect quite annoying!!!#so when anhedonia completely envelops me I know it's a sign of something else and bigger going on in the background#it's not a choice. the brain is not solely a cognitive machine!! you cannot fix everything that can go awry with it by Thinking Better!!!#cbt must be great for the people it's great for and I'm sincerely genuinely glad for it. less suffering in the world is great#but it is a way of thinking that is a hammer and you just have to hope like fuck your problem is a nail. because otherwise#you're bruised from being beaten with hammers and the additional shame of what's wrong with you that it's not helping#and again I recognize very keenly that this is not a space meant entirely for me. people sharing resources that amn are not about me#is not only fine it's good it's great! however. it'd also be nice to not get thrown under the fucking bus for once#because my presence fully expressed is an uncomfortable reminder of the things we *cannot* control about our own brains lmao#I'm lucky that I've been in the game long enough and have enough resources to start to smell the bullshit here but...#the pain 'losing years' induces in you when you don't have *a fucking choice* -- because it's not a matter of willpower#or positive thinking or changing your mindset. you're just sick. in a way medicine hasn't quite figured out how to help yet.#well. maybe. maybe don't put that on someone huh. maybe don't make their 'lost years' to depression and doomscrolling or whatever#'their own fault'. I kind of think that's possible to do without submitting to doomposting. is all.#(I feel the same about the 'resting vs. rotting' idea. well friend sometimes the best I can hope for is some gentle rotting#thanks for introducing this layer of disgust and condemnation to the general despair. it's added a patina)#this might actually be the first time I've managed to hold on to my own anger about this rather than it getting drowned out by shame tho#which as steps forward go. *sigh* it's not a moon landing is it. but a small step for man nevertheless I suppose
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gothicdolores · 7 days ago
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Call me a bumbling bisexual but when I see voluptuous big-titty Yautja females all that goes through MY mind is YES MA'AM Cuz that sounds like the opposite of a problem to have fam
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wackywatchdotcom · 2 months ago
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realizing just how LONG its been since ive posted a ragatha comic. i need to do that again its been too long despite the fact that i think most of my best work wrt tadc has been my ragatha stuff...
hey wait wtf i posted this and tumblr deleted like the last 12 tags. what the hell . that sucks. maybe i hit tag limit and it just didnt tell me or stop me from adding more tags...
#thinking on it its probably that ragatha is the character i relate to the most that is the reason for this...#i like to hope i write the other characters just fine but w ragatha i think its like#not just like a pomni sort of fondness and obsesssion w her writing and depiction . (and also intense romantic feelings towards)#i mean that all applies to howo i feel abt ragatha too. but w ragatha theres also a like . i Get her#more personally than i am with pomni#like ive said it before for sure but i like pomni the most but i relate to ragatha the most...#so i think when i draw her its like#shes not like SUPER close to me but shes close enough that i feel like i Get Her#points at her. ocd ptsd and a very specific type of issue i wont get into. I Get You#(this happened w one too... if anyone is familiar w that show that i keep mentioning like a phantom that haunts this blog LOL#my fav was liam . but i related deeply w amelia who read very heavily as ocd ptsd. to me. and the other specific issue.#i have a type with characters i like you see)#but YEAH#i play around a lot but i think the ragatha kinger one page comic i did is what im proudest of still...#and maybe date night but waves hand#not to try to recreate success or Whats Worked really. more that i just really enjoy it and i like to write dialogue#and to try to convey as much humanity i can in the characters and that style of things lends itself well to that#...and truthfully i still sometimes fantasize about making comics Properly and it feels like good prqactice...#<- you can see one of the sillier reasons i relate to gangle HAHA#but yeah also i loooove to try to write like. mundane interactions in a way that gets across smth abt characters.. its fun#i particularly enjoy trying to convey trageedy without being tooooo overt about it#which is hard. but fun!#i think someone could probably tell by looking thru my blog that i like when things are either silly or like#tragics not the right word. i mean i like to convey tragedy too i suppose. but i like when things can be hopeful and kinda tragic#at the same time. i like that sorta thing. its fun to me...#that bad things have happened but ppl can still make it. but also they may make it but those bad things are irreversible. etc#i do like sweet things but particularly if theyre deeply boring too at least a little.... i like characters having unimportant conversation#but yeah these tags are long and i feel like im losing the plot a little whoops. im really tired ill prob sleep in a minute here#whateverrrrrrr. point is that i should REALLY get around to finally finishing a comic i sketched out like months ago#.. i ALSO need to finish 2.5 requests!!! i cannot forget those
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lleechaeyoung · 10 months ago
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I JUST REWATCHED PIWON MOVIE AND I HAVE THINGS TO SAY
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#okay first of all THEY DEBUTED WITH A MOVIE !!!! that's so crazy every time i think about it im like woooow#jongseob and intak acting debut when ???? they were sooo good omg unlike kyo i didn't remember how bad he was 😭😭 but his#character is hilarious so it's fine <3 ALSO i completely forgot yoo jaesuk and jung haein are in it like guysss what are u doing here hihi#anyways absolutely oscar worthy real cinema if u ask me#now after taking notes and watching the new trailer a few times i think that p1epi is actually chaeyoons weird talking plushie#but since it's away from her it can't talk so that's why jongseob create that thingy to translate from#dog language to human language and i think it's there because maybe the members got like lost in time and#it wants to remind them that they have to save the entire world from the apocalypse#also p1epi came down from the sky just like the alcot meteor like ummm yes we love symbolism 🙂‍↕️#i saw someone saying the dog it's actually intak because the dog came through the window and intak wakes up next to one but it doesn't make#any sense to me so we're throwing that idea in the trash can#talking about intak hes now has blue eyes so that means he got infected but honestly when did that happen while he was fighting#some zombie? idk i think i have to watch all their mvs again for clues but what that means he's one of the bad guy now??#also i may be insane but what if the shop represents the world and seeing it in flames means the members couldn't save it and their lore#ends with the saddest ending ever like yeah sorry the apocalypse won#OR WHAT IF !!!!! they aren't the ones who can save the world they actually are the reason why it's ending like the masked ghost#actually created them to spread the virus and that would also explain them at the end of the trailer looking#at the burning shop without doing anything like they ARE alcot the meteor thats gonna destroy the world#but that would be too dark i know they're the heroes so it will have a happy ending#i have many theories but im starting to scare myself so ill shut up#pt
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drawing-room-sys · 13 days ago
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Oh my god I can't believe I'm actually gonna be starting hrt soon
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justablah56 · 1 year ago
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hmm I think instead of feeling bad I will simply project this bad onto The Character . for funsies .
#just blahs#not gonna do anything abt it bcs idk how i could but ovuehncke sparrow with scrupulosity ocd <3#just consider with me sparrow being terrified of accidentally saying anything wrong or offending literally anyone#and her completely accidentally saying smthin offensive and trying to figure out how to properly deal with that#without just making the whole situation about herself rather than the person she actually offended#bcs shes afraid that makes her a bad person who just didnt care enough to be aware of herself#gets a bit venty past this point but guys im literally pinky promising you rn I'm ok and ill figure it out please no one bring it up to me#and nobody think about the fact that im projecting rn just think about sparrow ok#this is my way of dealing w similar stuff w/o making it about me bcs ik that thats a shitty thing to do and i need to work it out myself#aughhncns literally every time goddamnit . i accidentally do smthin wrong and then someone (very kindly !!!) tells me hey that was wrong#and then i have a breakdown about it and feel bad and overthink it for the next like week#jesus fucking christ ok it's fine im being patient with myself and i know no one thinks im a bad person#and i know that they know i didnt mean it#and i know that i did say smthin insensitive and thats just something i have to be aware of#and the fact that i said it doesn't mean that im a terrible horrific irredeemable person#i'm trying my best now to be aware of it and be better and think abt whst they said and that's all i can do and thats ok#its fine .#anyways .#also hi cookies if you see this genuinely thank you for telling me tho like i do appreciate it and i am ok dw
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lycankeyy · 6 months ago
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This isn't really directed at One Specific Person because it's kind of feelings that have been bubbling up over the past year or so but God I wish I knew the magic words to make someone feel comfortable. Talking to me. I feel like I'm going to cry the next time someone says that they don't want to bother anyone. You know what would bother me more!! Knowing you're upset and not being to do anything about it!! Or only finding out after it's too late!! I don't want to live in a world where love is only in the good times and where love is just a reward for happiness!! I want to talk people through their struggles!! I want to make them feel seen and heard!! I want to comfort them and make them feel not alone!! Like I 100% get it I struggle to trust people too that's why I vent on tumblr but I just want. So badly. For people to know that I love them and that includes when they're struggling. Fuck man. Do you think I have any right to judge
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phagodyke · 7 months ago
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tried putting on my radiator for the first time this winter (we've had snow this week.... its focking cold) but it trips the fusebox for the entire flat lmfao. I'm fuuuucked 😐
#all the other radiators work fine its just mine :'(((#and bc its thw weekend they wont come out to fix it until monday at least so thats great#its fine i havent needed it on this week so far and i have layers and a hot water bottle so ill be fine but i did cry abt it a bit#but not so much abt the radiator just a lot on my mind.. i couldnt pick up my prescription after work either bc the secretary left half an#hour early and the very kind nurse who had a look for it anyway couldnt find it and i cant get there any earlier next week bc of work#i know itll be fine ive already sent an email to ask if they can send it to my local pharmacy instead ill get my meds before they run out#but still i cried a bit walking home from the clinic 😢 just been a long week even if not a bad one. and i miss my friend whos moving#he'll be on the plane now.... man. its a bit selfish but im also sad abt it bc he always noticed how i was feeling when i was at the gym#like if i was privately dealing w some shit or just wasnt quite myself he could tell n would find a moment to gently ask or just be there#without probing abt it like man hes so reassuring and kind and has such a big heart. before he left he asked me to look out for some of#the quieter ones in our group and make sure they feel included and someones listening to them when he wont be around to anymore#😢💔💔💔💔 and i know i didnt know him long enough to become proper good friends with him but it meant a lot that he looked out for me#like all i really want in this world is to feel seen n safe esp when im having a hard time. and none of my closer friends really do that#and thats okay like its not their fault and they just express their way of caring differently but sometimes i feel so lonely ah....#and also my period is due and im kind of scared of how painful itll be bc the last few have been so bad snd i find loneliness a lot harder#when im in a lot of pain and anyway this is all probably just the pre period hormones making me so tearful so it doesnt matter#its ok made a big bowl of rice so im going to eat that wrapped up cosy in bed with a movie i think. and then sleep#.diaries
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gemharvest · 8 months ago
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How many times can I go "I feel like ass but it's fine I'll be fine" until it becomes hollow to everyone around me. BHASJGFNJFGNK
#ventings#<- ig#i feel like this happens so. frequently#im fine one moment and then bad the next and i feel bad for it. i hate having some weird brain instability#i will be real this one time ! me going `ill be fine` is more my ward so i dont feel guilty or attention-seeking for venting than it#is an actual true statement atp. i mean like. tbf. i will be fine. my mood kinda just Swings and ive dealt with this brain long enough#to be used to that and used to the fact that ill just feel like this until my brain latches onto something and is able to snap back#but eh. euuuhghhhhhhhhhhhh. fuck#also while im giving myself one post to talk abt this shit before falling silent on it again. i always feel bad when people tell me i can#vent to them. bc its like. my brain wont allow it#i feel like a burden for it when i know ill be fine eventually even without getting to talk it out with someone#i will never tell people its better to check in with me than it is to tell me i can vent. bc my brain wont let me open the door but#if the door is held open for me then i feel i am allowed. ive been invited. does that make sense#but again ill never tell anybody bc thats just. it feels like a lot to ask when nobody needs to hear my bs anyways#idk. idk if i even wanna talk about this really. i feel bad still for typing it all out. beh#im gonna go play some silly billy and then maybe start doodling. that or i play silly billy and then check in with my mom#to see if she remembers the wendys thing. cuz i know she struggles with remembering things too
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mars-ipan · 11 months ago
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i do love my family very dearly but the internalized ableism the men in here struggle with is. so much
#marzi speaks#it’s worse with my brother but he’s doing more to actively work on improving that#my dad however has very subtle internalized ableism that i don’t think he recognizes is there#which is. fun#like earlier. either last night or this morning i don’t remember#i was talking to him about how while ideologically i have nothing against accepting needing help and things like that#in practice it’s very challenging to adjust to being disabled even temporarily. and that if i do end up with a diagnosis that’s gonna be#a lot to handle. both mentally and just with the lifestyle changes i’ll have to make#and he makes a bit of a face and goes ‘i wouldn’t quite call you disabled. i’d just say ‘ill’’#and i just sort of look at him. and i blink. and i go ‘i am physically Un-Able to do things i am normally able to do’#‘i can’t walk long distances at all. i can’t sit in chairs for too long without causing pain’#‘i’ve spent the last 24 hours staring longingly at my computer because i want to draw but am currently Not Able To’#he didn’t argue with me but i can tell he was still unnerved by the idea of picturing his daughter as disabled#also like . illness and disability are not mutually exclusive? several disabilities are or involve chronic illness#i shouldn’t be surprised though. i mentioned considering starting lexapro#and he went on his ‘you’re an adult and it’s your choice in the end but i wouldn’t recommend it’ spiel#(he’s anti-psychiatry bc he doesn’t like the idea of breaking the brain down into smth so purely physical)#(and also doesn’t like the idea of someone being dependent on pills their whole life)#(which i’m giving him some slack on rn bc he is a just-got-clean recovering opoid addict. so)#(btw before any of you say SHIT abt my dad he took his pills legally prescribed for chronic pain and did not abuse them)#(and even if he DID that would give nobody a right to make a moral judgement on him. ok cool)#i then reminded him that my mom takes anti-anxiety meds and they really really helped her#and he just goes ‘true.’ and moves on#king u got some shit to unpack#it’s fine if u didn’t want to start antidepressants when it was recommended to you meds aren’t for everyone#but like come on now. u don’t gotta be so fundamentally against it when literally ur own wife who you adore takes psych meds#anywho my mom handled me making the disability comment much better. she was basically just like ‘ur fear is totally understandable’#‘u have a good support system we’ll help you through it’#which. thanks mom 👍 that was very kind of her to say
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whileurmine · 1 year ago
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i don't have it in my rules but like,,, i dont have bc i think its common sense,,, pls dont god mod my muses, dont say they invited ur muse somewhere or they made ur muse do something or they forced ur muse into doing something. specially not without checking with me first. like its one thing for in our thread we both say they are going to a place or eating a food or doing an activity and u write them Getting there or Finishing or Starting next activity. its a whole nother thing for you to say my muse led urs somewhere or my muse decided to end it early or my muse forced urs into without checking with me first. like its my muse ,, u dont ,, u dont know if they would. maybe next they would drop to the floor and break dance. u dont know. if u wanna write that into the reply just send me a quick message saying 'hey would santi/frank/james/whoever do x?' or 'can i move the thread to x place' like its that simple.
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solar-halos · 1 year ago
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i promise one day i’ll stop going blah blah blah (that’s a kesha reference btw) but i had an odesta fic idea that i need to talk about bc i don’t think i’ll get around to writing it but i feel like it’d be fucking fire
okayyy so i really like exploring the codependent aspect of their relationship. even though i personally don’t think they met as kids, that’s a hc i use a lot bc
1) it’s gives them as much time together as possible (it’s what they deserve)
2) it gives us a larger timeline to see how they went from enjoying each others company to literally feeling like they’re surviving off of it. and that’s not to say that they don’t enjoy each others company anymore—it’s just that spending time apart stops being something they find annoying (as children, as friends, as two dorky 12/13 year olds whose #1 worry is finding a place to hang out without a chaperone breathing down their necks). now, as adults, the other’s absence is all-consuming. it burns
and that transition would probably start when finnick was reaped. it’s something their parents would recognize, i think, so i think they’d be more lenient with how much time they can spend together and for how long. and at first annie and finnick are happy about that, they think they hacked the system or something, but i think they’d realize pretty soon that it’s not enough. annie still has nightmares about finnick being reaped/in the arena and finnick spends annie’s entire shift at her parents store literally just sitting there and helping when needed and they still can’t sleep without the other person breathing their stank sour morning breath into their face. their parents think it’s sappy at best and so fucking dramatic at worst. it’s obviously starting to get bad, and it gets worse when finnick turns 16
then, when annie is 18, it gets to the point of no return (or so it seems… we all know annie raises her kid without finnick by the end of the trilogy). not being able to sleep very well without the other is nothing new. but annie wont eat if he’s not sitting right next to her. finnick cant sleep if he’s in bed and she’s still doing something downstairs… or in the bathroom that’s literally adjoined to their room. they always liked cuddling, but it’s terrifying—like, terrifying—when one of them wakes up and the other isn’t within arms reach. they always hated when someone (read: their parents) put a halt to all their hangouts, but now finnick can only spend so much time away from her before he genuinely (like… genuinely) contemplates killing himself
and that’s really ugly. codependency is very ugly, and i think i kinda leaned too much into the sappiness perspective and downplayed a lot of their habits in the longfic about them, so i am literally fucking feening to go more into depth about that. which i absolutely already did here (i didn’t mean for this post to get so long) but i would love to highlight certain moments of their relationship and use that as a buildup for why finnick reacted the way he did in 13. like, annie obviously wasn’t the only reason he was behaving like that (he has his own trauma that he’s been suppressing for the last 10 years even without the rebellion being in the picture) but the way katniss described him after his reunion with annie is so jarring
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kinghlaaluhelseth · 1 year ago
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at one point i considered trying lotd but recently on r/skyrimmods ppl have been coming forward with the mod author being really fucking rude and pretentious over ppl who don't want to update to latest version for various valid reasons. because the recent lotd update made the resourcespack.esl a master requirement of the mod and that file is from the most recent ae update. you know what it does? add fucking lily pads to the mod. that's it. i already have two whole ass water plants mods that add those. what is so special about these goddamn lily pads.
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katyspersonal · 2 years ago
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