#ill fix it in a bit. gotta draw again also. breaks almost over..

[milton-national]

just realized im moots with an artist i like everyone be cool

[phoenotopia]

The Last Phoenotopia Blog Update

(Date 2021 MAR 01)

I debated how to open this blog post, but perhaps the main crux of this blog post is the best place to start. The blog is being retired.

The purpose of this blog was to be a "development" blog for Phoenotopia, and well, Phoenotopia's development is done. I'll still be doing bug fixes and maintenance on the PC and Switch versions, and playstation and xbox ports are underway (by a publisher). But I'm not going to be making any more major changes to the game. At some point, you put the paintbrush down and say it's done. Blemishes and all.

Recent Events

The game launched on Steam last month, and like any launch, it was hectic. Bugs Galore. This is our first commercial PC launch, so it was a real baptism by fire. Unlike Switch's one configuration, the PC has multiple configurations and factors to account for. The game needed to be able to handle multiple control schemes, screen resolutions, refresh rates, and more! I had a 60Hz monitor going into launch and didn't know anything about Hz (I do now). There was a troublesome stutter that some players were sensitive to that my whole team didn't notice since our eyes compensated it away. There were a few times where in fixing something at one party's behest, it introduced problems for another party. A few times, due to disorganization, I unwittingly rolled back a fix that was meant to be applied. For some, the game couldn't play at all (really glad Steam allows refunds).

It was messy. It was tiring. I.AM.BEAT.

I think the worst of it is over... I'll still be around to do the last updates and bug fixes, but I'm ultimately ready for what's next.

SO what is next?

What isn't next... is Phoenotopia 2. As you may have heard down the grapevine, the game couldn't be what you call successful. No one's earned even minimum wage on it.

Maybe there's hope in the game's long tail. A year or two down the line... maybe. I won't hold my breath though. At some point in the past few months, I finished processing (or grieving) and it's time to move on.

The game has at least earned enough for us to continue our modest operations. As long as we don't expand the team, and we don't take another monster six-year dev cycle like what Phoenotopia took, we can continue. We'll have to be smarter and faster. Perhaps the most valuable thing we gained from all this is experience.

The Experience

It is a dev blog. Here are some of the lessons I've accumulated from this game's development.

- Have a good menu design. Menus aren't just that in-between fluff before you get to the good stuff. Menus are KEY. Your menus need to be robust, expandable, and *understandable* (to you, the developer). Because once the game's out, you will invariably be asked to add more options. And if your menu design is bad, every time you have to add a new menu option, it becomes a whole new pain all over again. Support mouse from the get-go, etc.

- Focus on features that people will actually care about. For instance, I've never seen anyone praise the camera's zoom feature. In practice, people try that feature a few times and then never use it again. But that feature was a constant consideration factor for every level. Run through it multiple times to make sure the level didn't break, think about which zoom levels made sense, resize rooms because they worked at one zoom level but not the other, and so on.

- Don't do boxes that you can move around. Other 2D platformers avoid movable boxes because they're a huge headache to program and they really complicate the game space. Enemies need to respond to boxes you throw in their path and either navigate around or attack it. When you're moving the box, you have to worry about constantly changing your collision size and reconciling when the box gets snagged on the environment. The boxes were also a constant source of bugs because people can manipulate them to soft-lock themselves and more.

- More focused script. Phoenotopia's 100,000+ word script was panned more for being bloated than it was praised for being lengthy. Long scripts take a long time to write and make the game more unwieldy, increasing the costs of translation and upkeep. Every update we're addressing some textual error or mistranslation. There are some highly renowned games (e.g. Hyper Light Drifter) that do without a script at all!

- Be flashy! A bat and a lightsaber take the same amount of work to program, but the lightsaber will draw a lot more attention and interest.

- Slopes, surprisingly! Six years ago when I started, Unity was ill-equipped for 2D games. If you used the physics that Unity provided you'd have a really floaty character that wouldn't adhere to the slope when going downhill. There were a hundred different tutorials saying different things (use forces, use move position, use translation, etc). You can get rectangular collisions done in a day, but to do slopes took weeks. Meanwhile, games can actually get by fine without slopes. Most people won't even notice. Did you know the Phoenotopia flash game didn't have slopes? Neither does Hollow Knight or Rogue Legacy. You can save yourself a lot of work by avoiding slopes.

(big entities look weird on slopes. Bad slope!)

I could write enough little knowledge nuggets like this to fill a book! But I'd rather just make the next game. 

So… what IS next?

As mentioned previously, it's not Phoenotopia 2. Pirate and I are mostly just tossing some ideas back and forth right now. We'll go silent for a year (or two). Our next game's scope will be more modest in some ways, more ambitious in others. It will definitely be more smartly designed. (There will be a map!)

We'll announce it when it's ready for the public. It might be necessary for us to do a kickstarter. I've tried to avoid kickstarters having been burnt on quite a few myself and also because I worry that mismanaging a kickstarter would earn the ire of backers.

But I did keep this blog regularly updated for six years. So I've gained some confidence in my abilities to at least manage a kickstarter well.

Is it really the last Phoenotopia Blog update though?

Okay, not really. There is some news that I'll need to announce, and this blog is one of the game's main outreach channels. Here are the events that will cause me to update the blog:

Announcing the launch of the xbox/playstation ports when they're ready

If a physical edition of the game happens

If a new language is getting introduced into the game (Korean is a high possibility)

When we're ready to talk about our next game

If (BIG IF) we begin development on a Phoenotopia sequel. I do want to do a sequel one day if we have the means and the demand is there. 

Those updates will be more on a "when they happen" basis, rather than me reporting in every couple months.

Fan Art

As always, I'm very happy to see fanart of Phoenotopia. Major thanks again to Pimez for collecting all the artwork from the corners of the internet! Since this is the "last" blogpost, Sir Pimez can finally take a rest from collecting the fanart :P

ÆV made a series of pictures that tell a story. A Pooki is humanely sheared of its wool to create a hat. The Pooki is unharmed. Nice! Gotta love Gail’s expressions.

Amagoo Mazeru makes a stunning landscape shot of a full moon and shooting stars. It’s a sharp and clear vector art. I like the faint glow of the moon and the fire and the subtle gradient in the night sky. Very skillfully done!

Hah hah. I got a chuckle out of this one. I imagine this is how Gail's enemies see her by the end of the game. CaESar made this image based on TerminalMontage's famous youtube videos. Nailed it!

CrownStar drew two pictures of Gail. I'm a big player of JRPGs, so the first shot instantly reminded me of Persona 4's art style. (Hmmm... Phoeonotopia as a JRPG... there’s potential there...) Next, Birdy is shown carried off after her defeat. I really like Birdy's expression here - she just seems mildly uncomfortable.

There's a bit of a story behind the first image. As Firanka shares it, she wasn't able to defeat the Big Eye monster at the end of the flash game, so she believed a tall tale that what awaited after was a 6 armed Kobold boss. Hilarious! The second is a rendition of the lonely Anuri elder. A rare subject. The loneliness is portrayed well here. I feel lonely just looking at it!

Koo_chop draws the clash between Gail and Katash at the top of the towers. I really like this interpretation of the game's art style. It’s faithful to the in-game graphics. And the lighting, from the glow of Gail's bat, to Katash's sword, and the lightning in the background... Amazing!

Lime Hazard shows Gail with a salute pose. Very appropriate for this occasion. I also like how there's a slight tilt in the angle that Gail is portrayed. Those dynamic angles are always hard to get right, and Lime Hazard pulled it off very skillfully. See you next mission!

Lyoung0J with a digital painting of Gail posed sitting on a rock. I like how it almost seems like she was caught in a candid moment - she’s smiling, but also feeling self-conscious. Cute! The art style really pops, and I like how Gail is sporting what I call the old anime style nose. 

MyUesrNameIsSh*t with a sketch of Gail performing a skillful slingshot. I like how Gail is depicted with her tongue out in a mischievous manner, the way all mischievous people with slingshots do.

Niitsu Kentaro returns with a 2021 Happy New Year picture. That happened didn't it? A New Year... Gail's pose gave me a chuckle with how she seems to be waving the bat around as casually as one would wave hello. And "Phoenotopiyear"... Well said! One day we'll have our Phoenotopiyear...

Ochan Nu breaks all records with a stunning NINE pictures in one session :O

There's so many goodies here. My favorite would be the one with Gail staring intently at the screen - it's like she's looking directly at you. You almost feel uncomfortable.

Next, there's an Animal Crossing villager dressed as Gail and sporting her pink hair. It even looks like a house Gail would live in. Gail is a connoisseur of the arts and likes Mona Lisa. Yes :)

There are various comics of Gail pointing out Gail's weird food habits. A picture of Fran looking really cool, and even Gail rocking a bathing suit. (bathing suit image linked here in case NSFW). Wow!

Pimez didn't just collect the arts, he creates them as well! This one, which he aptly named 'The Year 175' is a depiction of when the dragons invaded the towers as told by an elderly Daean woman. Great pixeling skills! I got a good chuckle from the ice dragon leaving with its stuff slung over its shoulder.

Quo made a stunning picture of Gail playing the flute surrounded by the 5 musical notes and the Phoenix logo behind her. The theme seems to be "fire" and it works really well. Gail herself looks awesome depicted in her red suit - it's like she's leading a marching band!

Rai Asuha depicts Gail in the late game with her red suit, and night star bat, and holding a lamp. She looks ready for adventure! I really like the white outline here and Gail's poofy shoulders here - the art style feels reminiscent of Final Fantasy Tactics.

Seri also draws Gail bearing her late game equipment. Unique to Seri's drawing is how all of Gail's equipment is accessible from a pocket on her shirt. I also like how Gail is depicted with her lucky earrings - that accessory is often forgotten.

Treedude depicts Gail with a bat and wearing a funny smirk. She looks like she's ready to hurt someone!

Warotar returns with everyone's favorite Great Drake, Bubbles! It seems so happy to be featured!

I'm really grateful for all the fanart this game has received. From the bottom of my heart, thank you!

Closing Notes

Pirate drew a picture to mark the occasion. It shows Gail enjoying a hot chocolate with marshmallows and a pumpkin muffin. A rest well-earned...

Goodbye! Until next time!

[ginnyzero]

Completely Harmless Ch. 54

Completely Harmless An SSO SilverGlade Re-imagining Story (Or Fix it Fan Salt fic) By Ginny O.

When Lily and her friends wanted to buy horses and were directed to the Silverglade Manor and its myriad of problems, they didn’t expect to start a revolution. They were just a bunch a stable girls. Completely harmless. Right?

A/N: Things are only canon if I say they’re canon. Pre-Saving the Moorland Stables compliant for the most part. Posted in its entirety on my website. Posted in 2000 to 4000 word bits here. Rated T for Swearing Word Count 177,577

Chapter Fifty-Four CHILL-ax during Happy Horse Week!

The decorations were approved by other clubs while the few votes against them were roundly ignored. It helped that gave everyone a goodie bag and had a snack table set up with their treats and cups of apple cider mixed with ginger ale. The marble balloons had been turned into arches and pillars. She’d borrowed the flag banners from Jorvik Stable to show off what things would look like complete with hay bales.

The Councilman hadn’t been too happy about the hay bales, but Kate had promised to clean.

Everyone was relieved that Lily was okay. And they were more than willing to take shifts at the council house in order to help make the decorations they needed between breaks in training. Training that was more important than they realized.

In fact, it was Herman that clued Lily in as she waited her turn to run through the show jumping event set up in the Arena.

“Really looking forward to seeing all you girls at the County Fair this year,” he said with a big grin on his face. Leaning against the fence of the riding arena he looked almost lazy as he watched the girls.

Lily looked down at him and put a hand on her horse’s neck. “Herman, I think you’re forgetting that most of us have never lived here before. Or should I be asking Linda or Pauline?”

Herman glanced up, the grin didn’t fade. “Didn’t forget. Didn’t know you didn’t know.”

Lily rolled her eyes. Her stallion tossed his mane.

“There’s an eventing contest held at the County Fair every year. It’s the first qualifier for the Claymore Challenge. Every club comes and tries out. Course, last year, and the year before that, and the year before that, was just the Bobcats and the Bulldogz. Be nice to see them have a bit of competition.”

Lily’s brow furrowed. “But we’re collecting ribbons,” she said slowly drawing it out.

“Gotta train your horse and get it into condition so it knows what it’s doing. Practice is one thing, Lily girl, doing exhibition is another. The lights, the crowds, you don’t know how your horse is going to react. Depends on the crowd too.” Herman sucked his teeth. “Yep, some mighty fine riders in practice can’t make it through exhibitions.”

Lily pressed her tongue to her back teeth and looked off to the side as her brows furrowed. “Qualifiers,” she said after a few moments and not coming into any conclusions.

“Yep, helps me winnow it down. I know you’re all doing well in your ribbons. You can’t all go to the Claymore Challenge as much as I’d like to send you all. One Club per county. Thems the rules.”

Lily looked down at him. “I wasn’t given any rule list when I made the club. How many members are we allowed to have maximum anyways?”

“Fifty.”

Lily blinked. There went the plan to merge clubs to get around that pesky rule. “Well, we’re a bit beyond 100 people, Herman. I think we’re hitting closer to 200.”

Herman grinned. “And you wouldn’t believe how proud I am of that, all of you choosing to leave Moorland and form clubs to help out the district. Brings a tear to me old eyes, it does.”

Lily snorted. She shifted her attention. Tracey rode around the track keeping her posture upright as her stallion took the turns.

“You’re doing good things,” Herman rocked back and forth on his feet.

“If you say so,” Lily glanced back at him.

“You don’t think so?”

“I think I’m doing what needs to be done whether it’s good or bad, I can’t say.” Lily gripped the reins in her hands turning them over between her fingers. “I’m doing the best I can or we are, or I hope we are. One never knows. You have a lot of things you don’t tell newcomers, like, qualifiers being at the County Fair.”

Herman chuckled. “You’re revitalizing this county.”

“You didn’t need me for that, you just needed to act.”

“Mrs. X of CHILL wants to meet you,” Herman said.

“Fancy that,” Lily said in a dry voice. “I’m not surprised.”

“Alone.”

“Of course,” Lily murmured. “Because what other way do you meet the leader of a secret organization that,” she paused. “What does CHILL do?”

“Put nails in the road for G.E.D.,” Herman said.

“Your horse idioms are so lovely, Herman,” Lily said. “Where is she?”

“Observatory 12 in Epona.”

Lily backed her stallion away from the fence. “And let me guess, she wants to see me as soon as possible.”

“You know how this works.”

“Way too many crime shows, way, way too many.”

Herman laughed.

“How cliché can you get?” Lily muttered and nudged her horse into a trot. The nearest transport to the Observatory was in Crescent Moon Village she thought. Hillcrest and the Dews Farm in Epona were getting transports set up still. Hillcrest’s was in need of a major repair since someone had tried to use the truck to ram the wall. (It hadn’t worked.)

She took the transport to Crescent Moon Village and went directly down the road through the Marsh and up the side of the mountain to the Observatory perched on the edge of the Cauldron opposite of Hillcrest.

Dismounting, she opened the huge doors of the observatory a crack and slipped inside.

It wasn’t as dark as she’d thought it be. Sunlight streamed in through the small windows illuminating the place.

“I’m glad you came,” Mrs. X said from the middle of the room. She smoothed the skirt of her ankle length green dress, but a deep hood obscured her face.

Lily stepped closer. Mrs. X’s face was also covered with a mask. Crossing her arms, Lily stopped. “I don’t deal with people who hide their faces.”

“My identity is a closely guarded secret, one I’d like to keep that way.”

Lily pressed her lips together. “You’re either trying to recruit me. Or, you have a message for me. Spit it out one or the other.”

“You’ve impressed me.”

“Funny, you don’t sound impressed.”

“You’ve interfered with a major operation. Hillcrest is only a small part of the G.E.D.’s plans for the Harvest and Epona Districts. You’ve set me back months of work.”

“You, lady, are a vigilante.” Lily lifted a finger off of her arm. “You run around in the shadows not sharing information with the authorities, and causing more problems than you solve because you won’t work within the boundaries of the law.”

“The law has failed us.”

“So, Bernie Winterwell didn’t want to leave his house and was happy to be bribed. Was it a moral failing? Or is House of Winterwell in dire straits? Or is there another reason? I don’t know. I don’t care. If Baron Winterwell isn’t doing what you need to do, you go to Count Marchenghast.”

“He’s ill. The Countess is overwhelmed. They’re too young and inexperienced to handle the G.E.D.”

Lily’s lips parted. “Really? Because, Mrs. X., I’m what, sixteen, and I’ve handled them just fine by oh, seeing that they don’t have the proper paperwork or you know, put people in actual danger and taken this to the people in charge like the Rangers and the nobles who run this county and they’ve managed to take care of things with the information me and my girls have provided them. I do not feel that the people of Hillcrest are an acceptable sacrifice so you can try to stop the grander scheme and get the higher ups.”

“You are too young to understand.”

“I understand that right now you’re no better than the druids, most of whom, also wear hoods and also, who I will not have anything to do with unless they show their faces. Here’s my message to you, it’s the same one I gave to Elizabeth Sunbeam. You lead and take action instead of observing and waiting. You follow. Or you get the hell out of my way. The people of Hillcrest will not thank you for standing by and watching.”

“Jarlaheim is in great danger. You don’t understand how great.”

Lily rolled her eyes. “Yes. We know. You remember Mayor Elaine. She was in Hillcrest. She knew what Ms. Drake was up to. Ms. Drake has been arrested. Given her lawyers, she probably won’t be in there for long. But it’s a good way to stall them and give time for Mayor Elaine to recover and take control over Jarlaheim.” Lily turned on her toe and grabbed the door. Pulling it open, she looked over her shoulder. “Come out of the shadows, Mrs. X, and into the light.” She walked out shutting the door gently behind her.

“People,” she said to her stallion.

He whuffled.

Lily mounted and turned him around down the mountain. “Vigilantism, peh.”

He nodded his head.

“Jarlaheim is in great danger,” Lily mocked. “Gee, you think? I mean, there aren’t four dig sites around the place, probably illegal dig sites, run by the G.E.D. if it’s not in great danger. Like, I don’t have girls in every stable and town and farm in this county by now. And do you know what we teenage girls like to do?”

He knocked his ear back seemingly interested.

“Share information. People might call this gossip. Because they only hear about who is dating who and who is fighting and what embarrassing thing happened to so and so this week. But there is important information among the trivia.” She patted his neck. “Sometimes, if the mare is fat, it’s not that she’s actually fat, she’s pregnant.”

He whinnied.

“Exactly, you get it.” Lily let him trot down the road. “Diabolical corporations. Aliens. Witches. Ghosts. Aliens running diabolical corporations. Druids. Chipmunks and squirrels as spies. Magic horses. Now vigilantes.”

He nodded his head.

“Nahnahnahnahnahnahnah, Batman!”

Her horse whinnied again.

She quieted as she got out of the marsh and into the village. She hummed “Spider-man, spider-man, does whatever a spider can,” under her breath as they passed Hayden’s house.

She took the transport back to Jorvik Stables.

When Herman asked her how it went, she replied with, “It went.”

--

The decorations were ready in time for Happy Horse week, if barely. Barney had helped them by using the vinyl wall art to make plywood versions of the horse silhouettes with his wooden scroll saw. He’d also made them horse heads to vary up the horse shoes and hang their smaller horse garlands from. They weren’t allowed to touch his saw. They could lose fingers if they weren’t careful. Plus, he was making the silhouettes five or six at a time to save time. Each stable and town had at least one of each galloping, show jumping, and dressage silhouette. Carney Summers had been busy making race signs for everyone.

But everything was painted, glittered, glued together, whatever needed to be done in time to decorate for the week. Metal and plastic buckets had ribbons and bows on them. Plastic helmets also had bows and rhinestones and gold trim. They wrapped fancy striped ribbons in Jorvik national colors around every extra haybale they were strewing about for decorations. (And handy seating for the tired parents.)

So, the day before Happy Horse Week was also busy instead of training, they were decorating and making sure everything was out and just so. They’d put together plenty of snacks for the tables and had decided that mint candies went in predominantly blue favor cones, and granola went in predominantly green favor cones.

Putting together the selfie walls had been a bit easier now they were at the third time around. They used the triangular and horse shoe garlands to drape the circle. Put plenty of championship ribbons on the upper left hand side. Put together a pillar or arch out of marble balloons and made sure there were hobby horses and stuffed plushies (fresh from Fort Pinta) out for people to use as props.

Agnetha has pursed her lips at the arches of balloons in front of the rose archway and on each side of the bandstand, but she hadn’t said anything dire.

Thinking ahead, they set up the pavilion so people could decorate their own buckets and helmets if they wanted to do so. They even had championship ribbons for name badges.

They had to rearrange the jumps in the riding arena. (That gave them time to decorate it.) Though the Rose Arches remained firmly in place. And put together the special race tracks for the cross country races through the grape fields.

It was a good thing that they had extra decorations and banners, because just in time for Happy Horse Week, the Silverglade Oval Track was ready to open and it needed to be decorated as well.

Pia and Ingrid sent pictures of the Art Show and Flea Market respectively. Everything was horse themed! Pia had plenty of exclamation points. She never asked for it to be that way!

They had to help transport the cake from Ma Anna’s Pastry Shop in Firgrove all the way to Moorland. They transported it in separate tiers thank goodness, but they still wanted an escort for some reason. When it was put together, the bottom three tiers were sold colored, there was a blue tier, a green tier, and a white tier. Then the top two tiers, one had stripes, and the smallest was white with green and blue polka dots. They stuck a large golden harp in the top of it as a topper.

The tables for the Moorland feast were set out. And there were extra tables so they could set out the grab bags, horse masks, party hats, and horse ears for the kids. The Farmer’s Market bustled with happy people who were more than happy to put up another tent for the Carnival games of bobbing for apples, pig pen, horse shoes, hobby horse races, and pin the tail on the horse. They had a special spot for the pinatas (and plenty of them.) And a booth all set up so everyone could get their face painted.

Realizing they’d forgotten prizes for said games, Kate and her club ran to Jorvik City to get more of the prizes like they had in the grab bags. (Because why not try to collect them all, according to Regina. She was roundly reminded, again, that this wasn’t Pokemon!)

The Timber Wolves escorted Andy’s petting zoo down and helped him set it up at the same time they brought down the cake.

It was quite the whirl of activity.

No one was sure who exactly hid the Golden Horse Shoes, only, that they were hidden.

So, everyone was excited the first day of Happy Horse Week, despite the fact that they’d had to make a schedule so there were people minding the races, giving beginning riding lessons, doing the lunge informational event, the craft pavilion, and the snack booth.

“Where do we want to go first?” Was the biggest question. Firfall was having a jousting demonstration at their medieval fair. There was the County Fair to check out too with all the food, and booths, and games, and they had to keep an eye on the competition up there with the eventing qualifiers. Or, they could go to Moorland and get a slice of carrot cake or apple spice cake (or both) and go straight to the Farmer’s Market to do games there. Or, they go to Fort Pinta and grab Token Takes Jorvik, buy a horse plushy if they didn’t already have a stuffed lovie of their own and start on the different challenges, plushy vacation pictures, Andy’s Geocaching, and Hayden’s Spider Hunt.

More than a few of them though were bowing out of Hayden’s Spider Hunt.

“No thank you,” they said.

They knew they’d see all of it. It was a matter of did they want to watch a pie eating contest at the County Fair or not? There was going to be a demonstration of a flat track oval race too that sounded interesting. They all agreed that they wanted to see the horse rubber duck race. That sounded too funny not to see.

The last day was the Light Ride.

It was with light hearts that they made their schedule and took to explore the county during Happy Horse Week. (They had Golden Horseshoes to find!) The first place they had to go was the Silverglade Oval Track ribbon cutting ceremony!

--

Loretta shifted her weight on top of her white stallion, the pink of her showjumping jacket setting off her fair complexion. Lily cynically thought that was the reason why the Bobcats colors happened to be pink. Loretta looked good in it. Loretta glanced over at her. “What are you doing here?”

Lily tugged down the sleeves of her own showjumping jacket, light purple. (Thought she’d the option of a dark purple or mulberry color.) “Same as you, I suspect. Claymore Challenge qualifiers.”

Loretta’s eyes widened. “No. No. You can’t. Your clubs are too,” she trailed off.

“Too what? We’ve qualified. We’ve earned the ribbons.” Lily looked down her nose at her. Had Loretta forgotten about the fact that more clubs meant more competition?

“You haven’t been around long enough to train your horses to be competition ready,” Loretta curled her lip. “You’ve been too busy doing other things.”

Lily leaned forward a bit resting her weight on her folded hands. “Not for the last month, month and a half. You don’t want to train for more than a couple hours every day and risk hurting the horse.”

“But you couldn’t have earned enough ribbons.”

Lily smirked at her. “I did.”

“That’s not right.” Loretta frowned.

“Take it up with Herman.” Lily shrugged. She tilted her head.

The Announcer’s voice rang out. “President of the Bobcats, Loretta.”

“You’re up,” Lily told her.

Rattled, Loretta nudged her stallion into a trot to take the arena.

Lily narrowed her eyes and watched. Either Loretta wasn’t as good as she claimed to be or Lily’s appearance as the next competitor after her had truly rattled her. She missed several jumps knocking down the bars.

When Loretta came off the field she looked furious. She stopped her horse by Lily. “If someone like you who isn’t even from Jorvik keeps me from going to the Claymore Challenge again,” she started.

“Again?” Lily raised a brow. “Last I checked the rules, Jorvik citizenship wasn’t required to compete, only belonging to a Riding Club in Jorvik in good standing.”

Loretta sucked her cheeks in and trotted off. “I won’t be defeated.”

Lily watched her go and put a hand on her horse’s neck. “And President of the Silverglade Equestrian Center’s Silver Drakes, Lily,” The Announcer said.

Lily squared her shoulders. She had an event to do. She could wonder who had beat out Loretta last time. Lisa. Linda. Or Anne?

FOR THE ACCOMPANYING IMAGES PLEASE DO NOT REMOVE MY WATERMARK AND CONTACT INFORMATION. THANK YOU. I get it. Some of you might get excited and want to see this stuff in the game, especially the clothes, tack, and pets. However, the only way I want to see this in the game is if I get paid for it. If I see it in the game and I’m not paid for it, there will be hell to pay. You think I’m salty. I’d be angry. Personally, I’m not going to send this info to SSO. If you do, leave my contact information there! Don’t give them any excuses to steal.

Now, I’ll know you haven’t read this note if you leave me comments about how ‘salty’ I am about the game and if I hate it so much I should do something else. I am doing something else. It’s called Mystic Riders MMORPG Project. Mystic Riders however is a very baby phase game. You can check out our plans on the game dev blog. (Skills, Factions, Professions, Crafting, Mini-Games, 25+ horse breeds!) If you know anyone who would be interested and has money or contacts about game making, direct them to the blog.

[angrylizardjacket]

eyes on the horizon {Ben Hardy/Reader/Roger Taylor}

Summary: The reader’s pregnant; she knows she has to tell Ben and Roger eventually.

A/N: 1447 words. Discussions of the concept of pregnancy and pregnant!reader. (pokemon kids voice) What’s That Genre?! It’s [redacted].maybe fluff idk, a little drama, a little angst, have fun?? i lost the original prompt. i also have a few more ideas for pieces surrounding this (including an angst one which im a bit obsessed with omg) i’m also not too crash hot on the quality of this one so feedback would be appreciated!

From the moment you find out, you feel like you can hear a clock ticking. Perhaps it’s counting down; counting down as you wait in line at the drug store checkout after waking up nauseous for the fifth day in a row; counting down the two minutes you have to wait for that infuriating little piece of plastic to give you potentially life changing results. Roger complains sometimes about the world being too fast nowadays, too efficient, and the two minutes is up and a second blue plastic line appears, winding you though you’d been expecting it, you think, in some strange way, he might be right. Most likely, you think, it’s counting the seconds until you’re pretty sure your world’s going to change forever, and you might just lose two of the people you care most about.

The clock ticks loudest when you’re with them, when you’re watching Netflix together and Roger’s draped himself across both of you and you’re running your fingers through his hair. He smiles up at you, booping your nose as the next episode loads, and your answering smile is tight. The show’s theme song is playing before he can really worry about it. 

It ticks when you’re sitting across from Ben at the table, and you’re both still in your pyjamas, he’s eating a banana and you’re nursing a coffee, and he catches you looking through him, rather than looking at him, focused on your own thoughts. He asks you what’s wrong, confused, even a little concerned; you’d been acting weird for almost a week now and he hadn’t wanted to push but-

But ‘it’s nothing, I’m fine’ comes more easily to you than the truth.

He leaves for his set, and you leave for yours, and Roger’s still asleep but there’s a fifty-fifty chance he’ll show up at around lunch at either one of your shoots, but part of you hopes he’ll spend the day with Ben if he does.

Things are going so well right now, and it’s the only thought in your mind when you’re waiting for your name to be called by the barista currently making the director’s coffee order. The rush of steam, the clinking of mugs, and the chatter of patrons makes a beat in your mind to the ticking only you can hear. You tap your foot in time to it, trying to talk yourself out of the conversation you knew you were going to have soon.

They both know you’re sick in the mornings, that nausea sometimes just hits you out of nowhere, that you definitely shouldn’t be working, but you’re claiming illness for the first part, quarantining yourself to the sofa, and it helps that your anxiety eases if they’re avoiding you just a little, to stay healthy; you claim capitalism as to why you keep working.

When you lie, tell them that you’re feeling better, that you’re getting over whatever was ailing you, Ben suggests a weekend away, away from the flat, away from the paparazzi, just away, another town for three days. Though of course hesitant, you can’t say no to him.

And you’d always favoured long car rides for uncomfortable conversations. You’re pretty sure it’s because the driver can’t look at you for too long, it makes you less anxious. 

“So, hypothetically,” you began, worrying your bottom lip as you fix your gaze on the lights of the highway passing you by. Everyone’s a little tired, a little tense; it’s been a long week since you’d taken those three different pregnancy tests in the bathroom of the mall. By now, both men were well aware there was something you weren’t telling them.

“Hypothetically,” though it’s technically an agreement, you can tell Ben’s already unconvinced. By Roger’s hum alone you can hear his scepticism. After a moment of silence, apart from the hum of the car, you realise the ticking’s stopped; now or never.

“Do you guys, like, think about the future?” You ask, carefully casual; to no-one’s surprise, Roger’s the first to chime in.

“Obviously; I’m living some science-fiction fantasy, love, this is the future.” He snorted, but he just seemed amused more than anything, still unsure about how this led back to your mood from earlier.

“I don’t think that’s what she meant.” Ben said quietly, and you made a noise of agreement in the back of your throat. “About... about our future?” Ben’s watching the road, but his gaze on the steering wheel is white-knuckled; he’s already jumped to a million different conclusions, all of them leading to you breaking up with them in this car on this highway.

“The three of us.” You agreed easily, fidgeting and looking out the window.

“I figured we’d just see where it leads; why worry?” Roger says, surprisingly flippant, though he too seems to be slightly on edge, drawing similar conclusions to Ben. Which, at the time, you didn’t realise, far too stuck in your own head to notice their own anxieties.

“Well what if we had to?” You begin, but your eyes widen as you think about what you’d just said, how it sounded, and you finally read the atmosphere; “not worry, not really, just think about the future, that is.”

“You know we love you, right?” Ben’s voice is surprisingly soft, even a little desperate. Something about it, however, eases that quiet anxiety in your chest that you had been trying to ignore.

“Do you guys think about our future?” You ask, and in the silence that follows, Ben pulls off to the side of the road. When the car comes to a stop the three of you are plunged into almost total silence, and somehow this is the single most claustrophobic moment of your life. “I do. I have to.” You admit, and your next words are spoken softly; “I’m pregnant.”

It seems you’ve broken both of them; Ben looks winded and Roger just keeps blinking, his mouth pressed into a thin line.

“You sure?” He finally asks. There’s that fear in your heart again, that anxiety, and tears in your eyes as you refuse to look at them, nodding quickly. You’d been so fucking afraid that they’d react badly, and you can feel your heart shattering just a little more-

“Holy shit are we gonna be parents?” Ben’s a little breathless, and sounds absolutely delighted at the prospect. “Like seriously, this isn’t a joke or anything, is it?” 

“Does it sound like a damn joke?” You snap, reeling from the whiplash of the reactions, but when you look at them, both boys are practically bursting at the seams with excitement. Roger practically launching himself over the centre console to hug you, and when he finally wiggles his whole way through and is sitting with you in the back, you’re shaking, wrapped up with him, pressing your lips to his shoulder. It takes you feeling cool air on your back to realise Ben’s gotten out of the driver’s seat to join the two of you. He’s laughing, almost disbelieving, and he kisses Roger’s cheek before wrapping his arms around your stomach, solid and reassuring at your back.

“Holy shit.” Ben murmurs, and you feel Roger laugh. It makes you smile, makes you feel safe in ways you hadn’t realised you’d needed.

“I know!” He crowed, giving you a little squeeze, and it’s enough to snap you out of your shock to let out a giggle. “God, we’ve gotta think about so much- why are their heads so soft?” Roger squints as he babbles, mostly coherent, still hugging you, his arms trapped between you and Ben where the other blonde refuses to let either of you go.

“That’s the first question you have?” Ben asks, and Roger hums thoughtfully, before immediately voicing his next thought.

“No; do we know which of us is the official dad?” He’s blunt about it, and despite the situation, the topic, and your very arrangement, you find yourself blushing as you finally sit up and admit that you don’t. After a beat of awkwardness, Ben rests his chin on your shoulder, the two of you watching Roger as he considered the situation.

“Does it matter?” He asked, and Roger’s face split into a grin.

“Not really.” 

Of course there’s so much to discuss; a movie star, a time-travelling drummer, and a personal assistant? There’s a lot that needs to be worked out, to be considered and talked about between the three of you, and you know it’s going to be hard, that it’s going to take work. You’re willing to put in that work. You’re all willing to put in that work. But for tonight, the three of you are content to celebrate; the future can wait a little while longer.

[she-is-tim]

I love hating you | Elu enemies to lovers AU | Ch. 8

Previous Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 6.5, 7

Lucas is an angry, closeted and frustrated gay teenager, while Eliott is the handsome, smart and popular guy in school. They hate each other… but not forever.

I want the best for you

Lucas was staring at his phone for probably an hour or so. He was at the flat with the boys, sitting on the couch. They were playing some video game, but he couldn’t care much. He kept checking his followers on instagram, seeing the blessed username still being there. Of course he immediately followed Eliott back, but since then there was no sign of him. He didn’t text Lucas or liked any other posts on his profile. He was still nervous, afraid that it was just a mistake and the boy could unfollow him at any second. 

When he was refreshing his follower list for like the hundredth time, Yann let out an annoyed sigh and snatched the phone from his hand. Lucas made an inhuman noise, getting the attention to the other two friends. Basile quickly paused the game. The short boy still tried to get back his phone, but his best friend had long arms and kept him back by placing his hand on Lucas’ chest. 

“No, this stays at my hands. You are being obsessed, man. What are you even looking at?” he asked, checking the phone screen and rolled his eyes. “Are you serious? He’s not gonna unfollow you.”

“Why not? Maybe it was a mistake and he will unfollow when he notices...” he started to ramble.

“Lucas, he’s trying to reach out, you shouldn’t be so worried about it.” Arthur said with a serious look, putting the controller on the coffee table. 

“But what if...”

“Lucas, just stop talking.” Basile said, surprising his friends yet once again. “You said that you like this guy, right? He’s out there, liking the post you made about him, following you on instagram and sending you drawings. What is holding you back? He is into you, I’m sure about that.” his face was serious, looking straight into his friend’s eyes, Lucas couldn’t respond to that, because he had a good point. Arthur on the other hand was smiling brightly, making him look even more handsome. 

“Baz, you really make that damned braincell work hard lately.” he said and squeezed his friend’s shoulder proudly. 

Yann smirked too, still holding Lucas’ phone in his hands, making sure that his best friend doesn’t check his instagram again. The short boy sighed with a fond smile on his face, then he got up to bring some beer from the kitchen. Not too much, since it was only wednesday, but they still can have some fun. He couldn’t remember the last time he was together with the boys like this. Just chilling home, playing video games, drinking beer and talking shit. 

Thursday went by eventless, Lucas didn’t see Eliott all day, even though they wew supposed to have literature together. He got just a tiny bit worried, but he tried to live up to what Basile said to him, But he couldn’t help himself. After school, he had to open his chat with Eliott and the chaotic idiot in his head decided to text him.

lucallemant Literature was boring today, we were talking about Rouge et Noir, did you read that one? 

He locked his phone now and put it down next to him on the couch, trying to focus his brain on the tv. Lisa was sitting not too far from him, wrapped in a blanket, staring at the screen with the dumbest face she could just make. Lucas smiled a little, he started to like her inevitable presence here, it made him feel like he wasn’t alone. He got up and walked to the kitchen, making some sandwiches, since he just noticed how hungry he was. 

When he finished eating, he walked back to the living room, hopping down next to his flatmate, who let out a disapproving groan. Lucas giggled, grabbing his phone and checking it. He almost had a heart attack when he saw Eliott’s username on the screen, unlocking it quickly and checking the message he got from him. 

srodulv Yeah, it’s a great book, you should read it too 

Lucas heart started to beat insanely fast and he wished he could have a room to run back to. He wanted to jump up and down in happiness, squealing like a baby seal and then throw himself on the bed as he types an answer. But he had to accept the little space on the couch, pulling up his legs, shaking uncontrollably. He had to start the sentence at least five times, because he kept making typos and writing stupid shit. He had to keep himself at the subject and not bringing up things between them. Eliott answered because he was talking about literature, which is one of his favorite subject in school. 

lucallemant I’m not a big reader and that book is LONG 

srodulv Books are supposed to be long

lucallemant Yeah, not my thing

srodulv You are just one grumpy hedgehog, huh? 

lucallemant I guess that’s my speciality

After that he got no response, but he still felt like he is the happiest guy on this planet. He hugged the phone to his chest, enjoying the serenity taking over his thoughts. Long minutes passed and the light buzz in his hand pulled him out of his thoughts. He was hoping it was a message from Eliott, but he felt just a little disappointment seeing the username of the sender.

sofalaoui Did you do something?  Lucas, he is fucking smiling I can’t explain how happy this makes me, but he’s smiling again 

Lucas was overwhelmed by his own feelings that these messages caused him. It was from Eliott’s best friend, who knew him better than anyone. He was saying that Eliott, the guy he was head over heels for is smiling again, after long times of being sad and depressed. He couldn’t handle this, so he just went to the bathroom, washing his face and staring at his reflection for long, agonizing minutes. 

He got startled by the knocking on the door. It was Lisa, she had to use the bathroom, so Lucas left and took his opportunity to lay on the couch. He was holding his phone to his chest, humming happily. Minutes passed when he felt buzzing, quickly checking what it was. Another text from Eliott.

srodulv So Rouge et Noir is the current book? 

lucallemant Yeah

srodulv Okay, just wanna make sure I’ll catch up on things for tomorrow

Lucas felt his heart beating in his throat, reading the text over and over again. Was this meaning that Eliott will come to school tomorrow? That they will have literature together? After such a long time. He tried to breathe through his nose, calm down his heart while he texted back.

lucallemant Good, gotta keep up that reputation of yours, right? 

srodulv Sort of 

lucallemant Tomorrow is going to be a long day

srodulv Why is that? 

lucallemant Daphné asked me and the boys to repaint that mural from hell after school

srodulv I see

Lucas didn’t know what to answer to that. He didn’t wanted to seem pushy by inviting Eliott to the common rom with them. It wasn’t easy for him to text back, so he probably doesn’t wanna rush meeting in person. And they will have literature together, so he’s going to see and be close to Eliott no matter what. At least he was hoping that it will be the case.

In the morning Lucas panicked. He was running around in the house, into the bathroom, then to the kitchen, back to the living room and repeated that circle until he bumped into a really annoyed Mika. The older boy grabbed his waist, making sure that he stops whatever he was doing and looked him straight in the eyes.

“Kitten, I’d really appreaciate if you’d stop this like right now.” he said, sounding like a disapproving parent.

“But Mika... I don’t know what to do, Eliott is going to come to school today and we’ll be having a class together and I just...”

“Okay, stop.” Mika raised his hand to stop his flatmate from rambling. “Is Eliott the guy you like? The one you had a thing with? That broke your heart?” he asked, raising his eyebrows so high they disappeared behind his dark locks.

“Yeah... also no. I mean, he didn’t break my heart... not completely...” he mumbled and looked at the ceiling now, letting out quiet curses under his breath before continuing. “I am still into him and it seems like he feels the same... we just had a conflict.” he tried to explain things without saying too much. It was burning inside him to tell people why it was difficult with Eliott, but he knew that sharing information about his mental illness wasn’t something he could just do.

“Okay, so you are so whipped for this Eliott guy that you don’t know... What to wear to school?” Mika asked, voice a bit high-pitched, a playful smirk appearing on his face and Lucas can feel the blush taking place on his cheeks.

“Well... I just... It’s not...” he mumbled and then just sighed. “Yeah, sort of.” he admitted. 

After that there was a really long and painful moment where Mika tried to pick him nice clothes that Lucas dismissed immediately. He tried to fix his hair, but the boy cut him off after he saw the hair products in his flatmate’s hand. All in all he put on navy blue jeans, a nice grey shirt and his favorite grey hoodie. He packed up black sweatpants and a shirt too, just to not ruin his outfit during the painting after school. 

He finally left the place, hearing Mika yelling stupid shit after him like “Go get him, tiger” and “Make that man yours”. Lucas felt really embarrassed and just wanted to get to school in one piece, without having a heart attack. At least his stupid flatmate helped him forget about the Eliott issue. He only remembered it again when he entered the school building and saw him. Standing by the lockers, cocky smile on his face as he talked to Alex. 

Lucas stopped by the doorway, staring at him, like he’s a unique statue on an exhibition. He could be. Considering that he looked so damn fine on this beautiful friday morning. Hair messy like always, shining in the sunlight, wearing black jeans, black shirt and a navy blue denim jacket. The sleeves were rolled up, showing off his forearms and that sweet tattoo on it. Lucas remembered how many times he traced his fingers up and down, kissing it even. 

He got so lost in his thoughts that he jumped a little when Alex yelled his name. His face felt much more warm that it should have been as he looked up from Eliott’s forearm and their eyes met. There was something in them that made Lucas’ stomach do a backflip. He couldn’t look away, especially not when that familiar, soft smile started to take place on the tall boy’s face. His heart fluttered in his chest. 

“Lucas, are you here?” he jumped yet once again when Alex snapped his fingers just inches from his face.

“What? Who... Yeah, I’m here.” he mumbled, shaking his head and looking away from Eliott, who stayed at his place thank god. “Good morning, Alex.”

“Morning.” he said with a wide smirk now. “How’s it going today?” 

“Good... yeah, I’m doing okay. What about you?” he asked, trying to play cool, not glancing over the tall, handsome boy who seemed to have fun watching him being awkward. Fuck you for being so smooth, Eliott! 

“I’m fine. You know, Eliott and I were just talking about my party tonight.” he explained.

“You’re throwing a party again?” Lucas raised his eyebrows. “But you had a party like... two or three weeks ago.” 

“What can I say? I love doing parties and my parents are always out for business.” he said smirking, shrugging it off easily. “You wanna come?” 

“I’m not sure. I have to repaint the mural in the common room with the guys. You know Daphné, she’ll kill us if we don’t do it now.” he said with an apologetic smile. He really wanted to go, especially if Eliott will be there, but he can’t choose him over his friends once again. That would be a dick move after all of their support.

“Sure, I get it.” Alex said and gently punched him on the shoulder. “Take care, little one.” he smirked and walked back to Eliott. 

Lucas let out a sigh as he watched the two boys just walking away. He pulled out his phone to check something, probably the time, but he wasn’t even sure, when a notification popped up at the top of his screen that he got a message. He clicked on it and almost had a heart attack.

srodulv You look pretty when you blush

Okay, this was not the right time to panic, but Eliott was just straight up flirting with him, shamelessly. While they were on bad therms. He didn’t know what to respond, so he just shoved his phone into his bag and walked to his class. This was making no sense. Eliott ignored him for almost a whole week, avoiding the only class they shared and now he was back with his cheesy flirts and soft smiles? How is he supposed to react to that? 

Lucas didn’t know how to feel during the day, especially not when literature class came and he had to sit next to Eliott. The boy seemed to be in a good mood, but they haven’t really talked to each other, he was actually doodling in his notebook during the whole class. It was just weird and Lucas started to have doubts. He really liked Eliott and wanted to try this relationship with him, but these sudden changes just made him confused. He was thinking that this might be because of his bipolarity, but he had to get rid of that thought. He had to shut out the negativity and just jump into this. It was something that made him happy, made him feel things he never felt before. This was the right thing. 

Lucas was mad when the boys said they will be late. He just finished his classes, walking towards the common room. It was already 15:34 and he still had to wait for that three idiots to get their shit together. He didn’t wanted to stay in school until midnight to paint a damn wall. Not like he had better things to do and he really hoped that his friends weren’t planning on ditching him. He put away his phone after texting back the boys, opening the heavy door. 

The common room looked so different, furniture moved to the sides, covered in plastic sheets, so is the floor, while the ugly ass mural was now fully visible in its terrible glory, having two spotlight on the sides of it. Lucas was glad that Daphné and the girls did the preparations and bought the paints for them, because he had no patience for that part. But he suddenly forgot everything when he saw a person, standing in front of the mural, hands shoved into his pockets. Lucas could only see his back, but he could pick out that hair from the biggest crowd anytime.

“Eliott...” he mumbled, dropping his bag on the floor. The door behind him slammed shut loudly, which startled the tall boy. He turned around and looked at Lucas with a shy smile on his face.

“Hey.” 

“What are you doing here?” he asked shocked, looking around to make sure no one else is in the room. It was just the two of them. 

“I was the one who offered to repaint the mural in the first place.” He said and shrugged. 

“That’s true... but I told you that I’ll do it with the guys.” he mumbled, talking nonsense, since his brain decided to take off the rest of the day apparently.

“Lucas, can you please notice that I’m trying my very best to have a face to face talk with you... alone.” he said, looking serious now, turning his whole body towards the short boy. Lucas had troubles breathing now, but his legs moved on their own, walking forward until it was just a few steps between them. 

“Okay then. I am here, we are alone.” he said, looking into the stormy eyes, feeling everything at once. Attraction, nervousness, fear, excitement, happiness, sadness. It was overwhelming, but he could handle it, if Eliott was there by his side.

“I think you should tell your friends to not come.” Eliott suggested with a little smile on his face. “If you really want us to have alone time...” 

Lucas just nodded, pulling his phone out of his pocket and opening the chat with the boys. He felt a bit bad that he’s ditching them once again, but this was important for him and Eliott. They had to talk and if it had to happen in the common room while painting a fucking wall, then so be it. 

Lucas Guys, I’m so sorry, but can you not come to the common room today? 

Arthur What’s wrong? We’ll be there, just late.

Yann  Yeah, don’t be so upset, Lulu

Basile I have great ideas

Lucas It’s not that... Eliott is here and i wanna be alone with him 

Arthur Woah, that was unexpected

Yann I don’t like this... 

Lucas It’s gonna be fine, and he was the one who offered Daphné to repaint this shit anyways, so...

Basile But I wanted to impress Daphné...

Yann We’ll go somewhere to drink You do you and smooth things out with that guy, Lulu

Arthur Good luck

Lucas sighed and put away his phone, looking at Eliott, who was now looking through the buckets of paints, checking all the colors. He opened the white ones, also grabbing a paint roller. The boy had to smile seeing his determined expression. He really wanted to make something out of this mural. 

“I told the guys.” he said which got the other’s attention quickly, glancing at Lucas over his shoulder. 

“Good, help me with this then.” he said and nodded his head towards the supplies. “Grab a roller, we’ll be painting it white first, making a clean canvas.” 

“Sure thing.” he said and did exactly what Eliott asked him to. 

They both had a bucket of white paint, starting to cover up the mural with it. None of them said a word during the process, but it felt alright. Lucas was sure that this was just to make both of them relaxed and comfortable before starting the real conversation. He hoped that the tall boy will soon open up to him, telling him whatever he feels about him... about whatever is going on between them. 

“You failed there.” he heard suddely, being startled by the closeness of the voice. Eliott was stading right next to him, pointing to a little spot where the mural was still visible under the paint.

“That wasn’t on purpose.” he mumbled, feeling dizzy now that this handsome, tall boy was being so close. 

“I can’t let you fail like that on me.” 

“I am not failing on you. Have some trust in me.” he said a bit angrily, looking at the boy, who now had a huge, blinding smile on his face. Lucas let out a relieved sigh. “You are beautiful when you smile.” he mumbled, surprising both Eliott and himself. 

“Say that again.” the tall boy demanded, leaning close to him. Lucas blushed heavily, turning his head away, staring at the almost fully covered mural. He made a squeaky noise when Eliott slid an arm around his waist, pulling him closer. “I missed you.” he whispered, resting his chin on the boy’s shoulder now. Lucas shivered and turned back to face Eliott, their lips were almost touching like that. He looked into the stormy grey eyes, letting out a soft sigh which made the tall one smile softly.

“I missed you too, Eliott.” he mumbled, letting the paint roller slip out of his hand, wrapping his arms around Eliott’s neck. 

“I think we have things to talk about.” he kept whispering, leaning his forehead to Lucas’. “I said... mean things to you.”

“Yeah, but so did I.” he admitted and closed his eyes for a moment before continuing. “I hit you... I shouldn’t have done that.” 

“I kinda deserved it...”

“No, you didn’t.” Lucas shook his head and slid his hands on Eliott’s face, cupping it gently. “All of this was my fault, I kissed you in public, not the other way around.” he said and sighed. 

“I should have told you about my bipolarity sooner.” 

“Listen here... Having a mental illness is something people can’t just talk about casualy. I understand why you were hesitating with it.” Lucas smiled, caressing his cheeks with his thumbs. “You know... my mother is ill too.” he said suddenly, feeling like he had to get this rock off his chest, be honest with this guy in front of him. 

“What?” Eliott asked a bit shocked, leaning back a little so he could study the boy’s face. 

“She thinks that the apocalypse is coming, that Jesus and God are talking through her to save our soul.” he started, looking into the other’s eyes. “She is going to therapies and doing well, but sometimes she snaps. I don’t see her often, because... we had a hard time in my family. My father left us last year, cause he couldn’t handle her outbursts, then my mom’s condition got worse, I had to skip school to stay home with her, but I was just so useless... The only thing my father did for her was to hire a nurse and pay for her therapy. I was really sad and upset those days, Mika found me in front of a gay bar, totally wasted. He took me to his place and let me stay in their basement for a few weeks. When Manon found out about me, she was already packing up to London, so she let me take her room.” he finished his story with a deep sigh, leaning his forehead on Eliott’s chest. He couldn’t say anymore, this was already too much at once. His fucked up family could be enough reason for the boy to leave him right now, before things go further. 

“Okay...” Eliott sighed and wrapped both of his arms around Lucas now, pulling him as close as possible, burying his face into the soft hair. “Thank you for telling me all that.” he said softly. “I guess it’s my turn to share my dark backstory now.” his tone was a bit playful which made Lucas smile. He looked up at Eliott with that blissed expression on his face that was basically too seductive for the tall boy. He had to breathe in and then out, holding himself back from kissing this beautiful person in his arms. 

“You don’t have to.” Lucas said softly. “I can wait.”

“I really don’t think I deserve you, Lucas.” he sighed now, touching their foreheads again. “I’ve been through so much shit in my life... especially after I got diagnosed... And here you are, looking at me like that... making me harder to not kiss you.”

“Why can’t you kiss me?” he pouted, looking like a sweet hedgehog now who didn’t get his afternoon cuddles. Eliott chuckled. 

“Because we have a wall to paint.” he started, nodding towards the almost completely white wall. “And serious things to talk about.” he said, cupping the boy’s face now. “If I kiss you, we wouldn’t be talking, just making out and I will be fine with it... but there’s things I have to tell you.” 

“We will have time to talk...”

“No, Lucas.” he sighed and let him go now, taking a few steps back. He needed to keep distance, otherwise he would do something he doesn’t want to, just yet. 

“It’s okay, I am not scared.” the boy said seriously.

“You should be.” Eliott said now, looking at him dead in the eye. “There will be times when I won’t be nice, Lucas. When I don’t want you around. I will yell, send you away, slam doors at you... I will hurt you and I don’t think I could survive that. I want the best for you, but that is not me.” his voice cracked at the end, eyes filling with tears. He couldn’t look at the short boy in front of him, he just couldn’t do it. He had to say this to make things clear. He had to break things for good. 

“Okay, that is a bullshit.” Lucas said angrily, putting his hands on his hips. Eliott’s head shot up, looking at him in disbelief.

“Say what?” 

“I said that is a total bullshit. You can’t tell me what is good or bad for me. This is my life, Eliott. If I wanna jump into a relationship with a guy who has bipolar disorder, then so be it. You can’t stop me, because I know you want it to. So cut the bullshit.” he said with a serious and determined look on his face. 

Eliott was just staring at him for a few minutes before a huge smile spread on his face. He took that few steps towards Lucas, scooping him up into his arms into a bone-crashing hug. The short boy laughed happily, hugging him back immediately. They looked into each other’s eyes and not knowing who made the first move, they were kissing. Wildly, passionately, trying to catch up on all those missed out days they weren’t together. Eliott let Lucas down, leaning after him, not letting go of his lips for one second. He held his waist, keeping him close and enjoying this sweet moment. 

Lucas was incredibly happy, feeling the butterflies flutter in his stomach as he wrapped his arms around Eliott’s neck. Their lips were making sloppy and slurping noises. After some time they got a bit dizzy and the tall boy tried to find themselves a solid place to sit down to, but he stumbled into a bucket of red paint, causing him and Lucas to fall, right into the paint. They looked at each other shocked first and then started laughing. Lucas dipped his hand into the bucket and wiped it into Eliott���s shirt. The older boy didn’t let this unanswered, he pulled closer a bucket of blue paint and sprinkled Lucas’ shirt with it. They continued this until their clothes were completely covered in paint, just like their hands, but then Eliott grabbed the short boy’s face, pulling him into a demanding kiss. 

Hours later they were standing in front of the repainted mural, looking like they were swimming in a pool of paint. Following Eliott’s suggestion, they tried to do some Jackson Pollock-looking galaxy out of it. The base was blue, pink and purple mixed together quite well, then above that just while, yellow and light blue sprinkled stains. Lucas was actually proud of their work, ignoring the fact that they totally ruined their clothes and wasted way too many paint in the process. Daphné will understand for sure. 

The dried paint on their face, their clothes and in their hair started to feel uncomfortable, but it was kind of embarrassing to leave the room like this. They could still hear some students walking and talking on the hallway. It wouldn’t be hard to make an excuse, but since both of their mouth were a shade of purple mixed from blue and red paint, that couldn’t be explained easily. Lucas glanced at Eliott, who was staring at their work with a satisfied expression on his face.

“We should take a shower.” Lucas said which catched Eliott’s attention. The tall boy looked at him, raising his eyebrows playfully, which made Lucas blush. Thankfully it wasn’t visible with all that paint covering his cheeks. “To get rid of the paint.” he said, trying to sound serious. “I’m pretty sure it’s not good for our skin to have this much paint on it.”

“It might not be healthy, but you look damn hot like this.” he said smirking, while Lucas rolled his eyes. 

“Sure, yeah.” he said clearly unimpressed and walked to his backpack now. He heard the steps behind him on the plastic sheet. Good thing Daphné covered the whole floor, because there was a lot of paint everywhere. 

“How about you get your attention back on me, huh?” Eliott said, sounding like a stubborn child. Lucas shot him a disapproving look over his shoulder before he continued searching in his bag. 

“I have clothes to change to. What about you?” he asked now that he found his jeans and clean shirt. 

“All i have is you, right here, showing that fine butt of yours to me, which is quite impressive, I gotta say.” Eliott replied which made the short boy to turn around and gave him the look, again. 

“Eliott Demaury, stop with the flirting. We gotta wash off the paint.” he said seriously, but a little smile was playing on his lips. He couldn’t be mad at this gorgeous person who made him so damn happy today. 

“Okay then.” he gave up, raising his hands now with a cheeky smile. “Let’s go.”

Lucas woke up feeling all sorts of pain in his body. His head felt dizzy, like he was drinking last night, which he was sure he didn’t do. He opened his eyes and turned to his side, but was shocked that he was alone in his “bed”. He sat up so quickly the rom started to spin with him a little. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath and looking around. He was in the living room, on the pulled out couch, half naked under the blanket, arms still stained with paint, but Eliott was nowhere to be found. 

He felt waves of feelings washing over him, his eyes filling with tears. He thought that all of yesterday was just Eliott’s way to say goodbye and let him go. That their relationship ended even before it could start. He almost started crying when the tall boy appeared in the living room with two plates in his hands, wearing nothing but a boxer and Lucas’ grey hoodie, unzipped. He smiled brightly until he noticed that something was wrong. He quickly walked to the boy, putting down the plates to the coffee table, cupping Lucas’ face and forcing him to look at him. 

“Hey, what’s wrong?” he asked worryingly, caressing his soft skin with his thumbs. Lucas could still smell the paint on his hands and it calmed him down.

“Nothing, I’m sorry.” he mumbled, sobbing a little. “I was just...” he looked at the bed and back at Eliott. The older boy chuckled and gave him a soft peck on the lips.

“Oh my. You thought I left?” he asked with a gentle smile on his face. “I would never leave you, not after what happened yesterday.” he said, leaning forward to knock his forehead on Lucas’ like he always did. The boy smiled now, eyes still a bit red. 

“I know, I was just...”

“I gave you good reasons not to trust me, I know.” he sighed.

“No, it’s not that... It’s just so hard to believe that we are... together.” he mumbled, not really sure if that’s the right therm to use, but it made Eliott’s smile brighter, so he was happy with it. 

“Yes, we are together for sure.” he said and kissed the boy deeply, passionately. 

“Looks like someone found their prince charming on this fine saturday morning.” Mika interrupted them, leaning to the wall that was separating the living room from the hall, having a big smile on his face. Lucas broke the kiss which made Eliott make a cute whining sound and looked at his flatmate over the boy’s shoulder. 

“How nice of you to giving us some privacy.” Lucas said with as much sarcasm as he just could so early in the morning. 

“Grumpy kitten must have a little morning tent in his underpants that has to be handled, huh?” Mika shot back with a wide smirk that made Eliott giggle. Lucas gave him a disapproval look before glancing back to his flatmate. “Just leave, please.” 

Mika just chuckled and waved as he walked into his room, victoriously. Lucas sighed, deeply and looked at the boy in front of him. He had stains of paint on his face too, but he was still that perfect guy he fell for. His hands cupped Eliott’s cheeks before he kissed him slowly, passionately. The tall boy didn’t hesitato to open his mouth and let Lucas deepend the kiss, playing with his tongue. His long fingers wandered into the boy’s long, soft hair, grabbing it just a little to pull him back, getting a little moan out of him as he kept kissing him, a bit more wildly than before. 

They pulled back after long minutes, lips swollen, eyes fully on each other, smiling like idiots. Lucas stroked Eliott’s neck softly, tracing around the stains of paint on his skin. The older boy enjoyed this, but then looked at the plates on the coffee table.

“We should eat it before it gets cold.” he said softly, letting go of the lovely boy, grabbing the plates and giving one to Lucas. 

The boy accepted it, making himself comfortable on the bed and also scooting to the side, giving space for Eliott to sit next to him. It was relaxing to just have a quiet breakfast on his damned couch with the most handsome guy he had ever seen. Who was now apparently his boyfriend too. 

Monday morning came like a lightning bolt. Lucas and Eliott spent the weekend at the flatshare, annoying the hell out of Mika and Lisa, while Manon usually just smiled at them like a proud mother. Of course Eliott had to announce their relationship to the whole world by posting on instagram, first by putting a video in his story where he filmed Lucas playing a video game with Mika. Then Lucas decided to fuck it and took a picture of Eliott laying on the couch, wearing Lucas’ clothes, putting it to his story with bubbling heart gifs around. He was so stupidly in love that he did that. Then Eliott asked him to take a selfie together, and Lucas had nothing against that, so now every single follower of Eliott knew that they are a couple. And to be honest, Lucas felt proud and happy. 

I hope you guys liked this one, I felt like this is a good way to finish it for now and pack some more fluff to the next chapter. Make sure to tell me your opinions on this. And the insta post is just a little extra, I’m not gonna put insta posts in the chapters of course, but this is just a soft way to end the chapter. 

[smireyac]

fuck this year man u dont even get cute emojis in the title this time

so lemme just start by saying fuck 2020 

now that we’re on the same page, lets get into it

so i dont have to explain all the reasons why this year sucked bc u just need to google 2020 and there will be a million reasons why it was TOTAL FUCKING GARBAGE...... usually when so many people collectively say a year sucked ass, i can be like “oh it wasnt *all* bad for me, personally” haha not this year!!! 

its super fucking depressing to look at how hopeful and positive i was about 2020 a year ago..... ofc there was no way for me to have known it would all go to shit but i still really appreciate the tone i had set... reading over the previous reflections and seeing how harsh and negative i was @ myself made the softness of last years post super refreshing.... 

now i said i dont *have* to explain all the ways 2020 was shitty, but i am gonna explain the biggest reason this year was shitty for me, personally..... it might seem really small in comparison to the ways 2020 was shitty as a whole on like a global scale? but really the biggest reason 2020 sucked ass was i didnt get to really hang out with any of my friends in real life for 9 out of the 12 months of the year.... and really it was like the first week of march that shit hit the fan so like really it was only 2 months that we got to see each other....... if u rmbr p much every previous retrospective post ive made, there was a big emphasis on friends..... ive come to realize that im actually a very *extra*verted person??? despite my overall shyness and homebody attitude, i would always choose to hang out with people over being alone so stay-at-home orders FUCKING SUCKED??? when we all thought it would be over in a couple weeks, maybe a month it was fine?? hey its a good time to draw or catch up on that reading and/or writing i said i was gonna do maybe even start learning to drive?? it’ll be no big deal THEN it wasn’t over in a month and it wasnt gonna BE over anytime soon and no one important was doing anything about it and its an election year and black lives have always mattered and yet everything is so uncertain and

[inhale]

[exhale]

this year was..... a lot...... too much in fact

in 2018, i had said that i watched vox’s video on the year in 5 mins and cried... if i watched this year in five minutes, i dont think i would be able to breathe...... 

SO instead of making myself CRY..... lets try to think about any GOOD things that happened and think about what we can do to make 2021 good for ourselves:

GOOD THINGS THAT HAPPENED:

-i *didn’t* lose my job!! sad that so many others cannot say the same but im trying to make myself feel *better* not WORSE so i got to keep my job and i actually work more hours than before so!!

-i actually *did* learn to drive this year!!!! and im pretty good at it??? for someone that just started this year anyway?? i probably *would* have my DRIVER’S LICENSE right now if it weren’t for a surge in cases in a certain STATE that i happen to live in......... but w/e its fine i get more time to practice and im ~~**DEFINITELY**~~ going pass my test and get my license ~whenever it is that i can reschedule my dmv appt~

lmfao its so funny that last year, i was absolutely *dreading* learning to drive but i so fucking get why everyone was like ‘you need to learn how to drive’ i legit love it so much???? ive always been a car person but that was like purely for the aesthetic but now that i can drive im just....... WOOOW this really is what freedom feels like.... like ik that public transportation is amazing and i will always champion it but nothing beats being purely in control of your destination.... i also wanted to buy myself a car for my birthday even tho i couldnt really drive yet but then sien had to fix smthg on her car and it was EXPENSIVE AF and my mom was like “u dont need to buy a car yet” so i put the brakes [haha] on that... but soon... once i get my license,,, then i will have u my love................. so with that being “my most serious goal of 2020″ im glad i did it

-i was one of lucky ones and got unemployment when i couldn’t work so i have a lot of money saved in the bank??? pls no one steal my identity i wanna use that money to buy myself a car and/or for when we move out 🤞🤞 we’ll just have to wait and seeeeee....................

-i had mentioned playing dnd last year too and thats been going STRONG as hell thank goodness....... we couldnt keep playing in person but when we moved it to online, not only did we actually get to hang out a lot more, we made more friends??? introduced new people to the group?? its so good and in fact probably the only thing that kept me even a little bit sane this year...... 

-this is more of an honorable mention than an accomplishment but im this 🤏close to catching up with critical role and thats partially thanks to the pandemic lmao sooooo ??? 

aaaaaaand thats p much it lol i didnt really accomplish any of my other goals bc reasons................. but!!! as cliche as it sounds, with a light at the end of the tunnel, im confident that i can turn that all around this year.... so if 2016 was the year of change, 2017 was the year of getting used to shit, 2018 was the year of getting *too* used to shit and 2019 ended up being the year of friends, 2020 was the year of absolute shit and it doesn’t fucking count....... i learned a lot this year, biggest lesson of all is that life is short and if i were to have died at any point last year, what the fuck would i have to show for it??? so usually i end up giving a theme or name to a year after its done but this time im determined to make 2021 into what i want it to be SO i am declaring this year, the year of our lord 2021, the year of new experiences!!!! what the fuck does that mean you ask? well ill tell you!!! im gonna try new things this year!! make a very pointed effort to do things outside my comfort zone?? and for my goals this year, im going back to my old way of making a huge list of stuff u wanna do and seeing how much i can actuallly accomplish!! now i said theres a light but we really dont know when all this shit will end and life will go “bAcK tO nOrMaL” so whos to say ill get to accomplish any of it? at the same time, there are plenty of stuff on the list that i can do within the pandemic set parameters so!! lets see this list!!

2021 GOALS:

[check boxes bc there is no plain box emoji lmao]

☑️ read new books!! i’ll keep last years goal bc i didnt meet it and i have good reads now which tells me i just need to read 1.5 books a month to reach that goal!! huzzah!

☑️ watch new shows and new movies b4 u end up watching shit you’ve already seen a million times... i bought an old planner for 2020 instead of 2021 by accident but i hope it will help keep track of the movies/shows along with the books too!

☑️ listen to new music!! this years spotify wrapped was garbo it only had like 3 albums and a bunch of other shit i always listen to so i gotta fix that lmfao

☑️ write new stories!! i am comforted by the shit ive been writing for the past like 7 years but if my screenplay class taught me anything its that there are a lot of stories to tell and i got so many ideas floating around in this noggin!! instead of an arbitrary word count, why dont i say write idk 3 new stories, start to finish, in whatever medium idc screenplay, short story, comic, twine WHATEVER!! do it!

☑️ eat new food!! lmao this one seems the most silly to me but ive never had indian food, ive never had [not really anyway] korean food, i want to find new restaurants and eat new food!!! yum!

☑️ go on a road trip!!

☑️ visit some place ive never been before!!

☑️ go on a hike??

☑️ go to mexico again

☑️ ride a scary rollercoaster you previously wouldnt have

☑️ go to a club

☑️ get silly drunk fr 

☑️ FUCK IT go on dates!! self date friend dates sister date cousin dates R- Romantic... dates ??? FUCK IT!!! YEAH!! DATE ALL UP IN THIS BITCH!!

☑️ learn to use blender

☑️ animate something 

☑️ make a big painting

☑️ cosplay ???? AHH

☑️ learn to roller skate lmao u bought the skates and were so excited for them!! 

☑️ go somewhere SUPER DARK and go see some real stars!!!! 

☑️ and to top it all off, throw the airbnb house party that we’ve been talking about for MONTHS lmao 

hmmmm,, i think thats a good enough list for now ?? another thing i wanted to accomplish.... that im scared to speak into existence bc then i cant back out of doing it...........and it doesnt align with the whole “new” spirit of 2021 but.......... i want to like start making apartments for rent????? like i want to have something of it to show by, if not the 8th anniversary then by the end of the year HHUFF THERE I SAID IT......... no turning back now.......... 

alright its almost midnight on.... whats this? its already jan. 1st??? lmao yeah fuck it i didnt keep up with anything i normally did this year who cares i made up the rules i can break them too lol  

so yeah 

we’ll see what this year brings us,,,,

hoo boy

[crowned-ladybug]

Within Arm’s Reach

Wrote this as a test run with my new notebook/baby laptop/whatever Irwin that I’ll be using to take notes during lectures. Short, simple and probably very bad bc apparently I’m ill again I’m so heckin loopy you guys

Tagging @magic-marvin-protection-patrol bc I broke the admin’s heart with “Promise” and I gotta fix that and @markired bc I am working on what I promised but this happened first so I hope it’s okay to tag you in this as well

Characters: Jackie, Marvin

Word count: 1.8k

Warnings: bit of death mention and anxiety attacks, not too detailed. Also, they’re dating.

It’s a lovely day. It’s early autumn, just past the point when you could still get away with wearing shorts. The leaves aren’t yet turning golden and the sun still gives warmth, enough to be reminiscent of the dying summer but not enough to go swimming or boil in the heat. It’s the best time of the year if you ask Jackie.

Speaking of Jackie, he’s strolling down a quaint street cheerfully. Now he’s just Jackie, an average guy in jeans and a flannel shirt, not Jackieboy man the town’s capeless hero. His red suit and blue mask are resting at home. This afternoon he’s just going to enjoy a simple date with Marvin, no saving lives or fighting crime, just him and his quite literally magical boyfriend going out for a coffee.

He’s really looking forward to it.

He knows the town like the back of his hand and at this point he could probably find his way to this particular café blindfolded. Him and Marvin have come here so many times in the past and they both really like the place. It’s homey, quiet, the coffee and hot chocolate are absolutely heavenly and all the employees know them by name at this point.

Now, just one more left to take at the next corner, Jackie thinks to himself, and you’re right there.

His cheerful mood is shattered as soon as he rounds the corner. The spring leaves his step as he comes to an abrupt halt and stares in shock.

The little café, usually quiet and peaceful is now hidden behind the ambulance cars and fire trucks parked on the street and halfway up the sidewalk. The asphalt under Jackie’s feet is wet and there’s soot mixing with the lazily flowing water. He steps aside to find a more dry spot before he could realise what it means. There’s people rushing in every direction, swerving between the parked cars and exchanging rushed half sentences, and no one pays any mind to Jackie.

His knees feel weak and his hands numb as sudden panic rushes over him. He was supposed to meet Marvin here and now he’s nowhere to be seen. His mind immediately supplies him with the worst possibilities and for a moment he’s frozen on the spot. Marvin...he needs to find Marvin.

With a quick wave he catches the attention of a paramedic rushing by. They stop, looking Jackie over with questioning green eyes and wait for him to state his business.

“Excuse me, I,” he shudders. Get yourself together, damn it. “Have you seen a guy, uh...a bit shorter than me, blue eyes, really pretty, wears a cat mask?” He feels his heartbeat in his throat as he waits for the medic to process his question (they don’t exactly seem to be on top of the situation either) and he can’t remember the last time he’s felt so shaky. A hero should not lose his cool so easily, he knows, but he can’t keep his anxiety down thinking something horrible could have happened to Marvin.

“That way,” the medic points behind themselves and to the right. “Behind that truck is where I last saw him I think.”

Jackie thanks them quietly but he’s not sure they even hear as the next second they’re both running opposite ways to their own destinations. Jackie’s stumbling legs carry him way slower than he would like, but he already feels like he might fall over any second. The medic never said anything about what condition Marvin was in, they just said where they last saw him. That could mean anything, from minor injury to...No, he can’t think about that, not right now. But the fire trucks and the stench of smoke indicates that there had been a fire and Jackie has seen Marvin accidentally burn himself with fire magic all too many times. The memories of burns running up Marvin’s arms swim around his mind and he’s helpless to fight them. He knows that Marvin has never been as wary of fire as he should be and it scares Jackie now more than ever. What if he was too daring again, started running for safety too late…

He can’t take his own thoughts anymore. What if Marvin is hurt, what if he’s gone, what if, what if, you let this happen, you are the one supposed to protect him, if only you have gotten here sooner...He reaches the corner of the truck he was pointed towards by the paramedic just in time before he’s ready to just curl up into a ball and cry without ever finding out the truth. There’s already tears running down his face and he’s too busy panicking to wipe them away.

He almost collapses when he sees him.

Marvin is sitting on a bench outside a store near the charred café, wrapped up in a blanket and looking shaken but otherwise unharmed. The relief rushing over Jackie is enough to knock the breath out of him for a second.

“Marvin!” he cries, voice breaking, and he lurches forward to run to him. Marvin scrambles up as soon as he sees him, jumping to meet him in a hug.

They meet in a messy tangle of arms as they grasp each other as tight as they can. Jackie lets his tears run freely. He presses Marvin close to his chest, repeating to himself that’s he’s okay, he’s alive, he’s okay, waiting for his breaths to calm a little. Slowly he begins to rock the two of them side to side and he buries his face in Marvin’s hair. He’s okay.

“God damn it, I was so scared,” Jackie whispers though he isn’t sure Marvin even hears him. “I was so scared...Gosh, are you okay? Are you hurt? What...what happened?”

Marvin doesn’t respond, he just holds onto Jackie tightly, hands curling into he back of his shirt and face hidden in his shoulder. He doesn’t say a word and his breaths come shallow. Jackie realises just how scared he must have been. He kisses the top of his head and whispers sweet nothings to him to calm him down. Seeing Marvin scared is not a usual sight, but Jackie will take it any day over the nightmares his mind had presented him with just moments ago.

Once Marvin’s arms loosen around him (just the tiniest bit, just enough that Jackie can tell the worst of his panic is gone) Jackie guides the two of them back to the bench Marvin had been sitting on. Marvin immediately draws his feet up so he can press himself closer into Jackie’s side and he still holds onto his shirt like he’s holding onto dear life. Jackie catches a glimpse of his face and sees that his eyes are still wide open in shock. He does his best to comfort him, holding him close and stroking his hair, twirling loose strands around his fingers.

When Marvin’s hand falls to wrap around his waist instead of clutching at his shirt, Jackie knows he’s feeling better. He stops messing with Marvin’s hair (which Marvin is admittedly a little disappointed about) and intertwines their fingers instead. He wants to ask what happened, but he isn’t sure how, or if he should at all. Marvin still seems so shaken.

But Marvin starts talking on his own, drawing small circles into the back of Jackie’s hand absently. “There was a fire,” he says quietly and Jackie doesn’t interrupt him simply because that part was obvious. “I was just sitting inside waiting for you and...I didn’t even realise people around me were panicking for a bit. When I got up and realised...what was going on, they...the fire was already everywhere,” he takes as shaky breath and his grip on Jackie’s hand tightens. Jackie squeezes his hand in response and hopes it’s reassuring. “I didn’t know what to do...”

“Are you okay?” is all Jackie can say. He can’t even begin to imagine what Marvin must have gone through.

“Yeah, yeah...yeah,” he smiles fondly at Jackie’s worry. “I just got scared is all.”

Jackie doesn’t say anything. It’s obvious Marvin thought he was only asking about physical injury, but he can ask again later. They can go over all of this when they get home.

“I was so scared...” Jackie starts suddenly and now Marvin is the one squeezing his hand in hopes of providing comfort. “When I saw all the...all the people and the cars and everything...I was so scared of what...I would see when I found you...if I found you...” He takes a deep breath and tries to swallow the lump in his throat. He doesn’t want to start crying again. “For a bit there I thought...I thought I was going to lose you.”

Marvin hums. “I honestly don’t even remember what I was thinking when it happened. I was just...scared,” He sighs heavily, then turns his head so that his nose presses into Jackie’s neck. “And when it was all over I just really wished you were here.”

“Well, at least I’m here now,” Jackie offers, knowing that it’s not much of a comfort. You got here late and couldn’t protect your boyfriend. Congratulations on being the worst hero and worst date ever.

But Marvin doesn’t seem to mind. He just nuzzles Jackie’s neck and Jackie laughs quietly.

It takes a little longer until both of them feel like they can stand and walk again without collapsing. The aftermath of their adrenaline rush has left them both feeling drained. Jackie watches as Marvin takes the blanket from around his shoulders and folds it neatly, placing it on the back of the bench. Then he reaches his hand out and the magician takes it, pressing into Jackie’s side tiredly, and Jackie can see his eyes sparkle just a bit brighter behind his mask now.

“You wanna go home?” Jackie asks as they start walking away from the charred café.

“Yes please.”

They agree on that, neither of them having the energy nor the heart to have that date now. They decide to postpone it instead.

“Disney marathon?” grins Jackie, looking at Marvin with a twinkle in his eyes. “I can make us some top tier hot chocolate, too.”

Marvin laughs even if it’s not funny at all, but Jackie knows it’s more his relief showing. “Hmm, yeah, I’d love that,” he presses a quick kiss to Jackie’s cheek. “Especially if I can choose the first movie.”

“Anything for you,” Jackie winks and Marvin can’t help laughing again.

“Wow, cheesy.”

“Yeah, what of it?”

They laugh.

That night they fall asleep together on the couch after several top notch animated movies. Jackie has his head lying on Marvin’s chest, listening to his heartbeat, ever constant and reassuring. It lulls him to sleep, tells him that Marvin is alive and safe, and that he will still be there the following morning.

And he is.