#ill try to get to most of them
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Happy valentines day send some ninjago ship doodle requests in if you wanna :)
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#springtrap#beasttrap#alt springtrap#so different kind of beasttrap? more springtrap-like almost bc i wanted to try it with some mechanical bits#maybe its own thing instead of beasttrap tho idk how much ill draw it anyways so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#fnaf#fnaf fanart#laddersarts#artists on tumblr#you probably couldnt tell that i also like detailed monster drawing. its just that simplifying things i find the most fun and interesting?#you get to apply more knowledge of what makes designs work when you have to break them down to fit a different style and i like that
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When other Yellowjackets fans, majority who are poc themselves, talk about how weird and frustrating it is that the writers introduced a random yte character and gave them a storyline when there were two (technically three but they killed off Lottie even when there was an opportunity for more) woc, who have been around since s1, that could've fit the mold instead (like Mari) and have actual personalities outside of building up/being the lapdog for another character. Or how often times many of the, limited, poc characters are often either treated poorly and killed off, or pushed to the side (Simone, reduced to the disposable black girlfriend trope and is nearly killed by her partner because she's in the way of a ship; Travis, since s1, had his trauma dismissed or ignored and was overly hated but no one talks about how he was SA'd by the girls he's now stuck with on top of having to eat his brother and not be able to grieve over it). How Taissa's whole storyline is just revolving around Van even with all the potential, especially given she's fighting to be free from her own mind, how Lottie's mental illness is treated so poorly as if it's not the butt of a joke then it's met with heavy criticism (and the only time she is met with sympathy for it, it's through the lens of a yte character embodying her and having an emotional conversation with her father). How you can have all of these reasons (and more) for being annoyed by Melissa's character or the direction of the show, and be met with #those fans downplaying these concerns, or just being overly antagonistic just because they find yte character #243 entertaining so obviously these conversations don't have merit. But this fandom has always had an...."interesting" way in which it discussed the poc characters on the show, so I'm not surprised.
#yellowjackets#yellowjackets critical#mind u in the og script lottie was a black girl who had to suffer racial abuse from an old rich yte woman that she never recovered from...#like tai has a premise for such interesting storylines (that don't revolve around yte characters) and the show still does her dirty#and even regarding her relationship why would tai be so dismissive of her family over van? why is there hardly any shaunatai scenes?#a yte woman's introduction to the show being her potentially killing an indigenous woman struggling with mental illness and only for said#woc's death to be discovered through a true crime forum and used for a competition between two yte characters....yeah there's no problem at#all there#like so much of melissa's character feels at the expense of woc who were already established and had more to show for it than her#and it gets so annoying seeing those fans try to skirt around the problem or speak over poc fans when called out#like why does mari receive such hate or lack of understanding in comparison to yte counterparts who do worse than her? i thought the yjs#shouldn't be judged heavily bc they're teenagers going through the unimaginable? or is that mindset not shared with woc?#and im not even getting into how the plot is all over the plsce#like why is the teen timeline (where most of them are going to die) more diverse than the adult? and adding another yte character was#supposed to do what?#lottie matthews#taissa turner#like so much of s1 was about shauna heck even some parts of s2 so i thought maybe s3 would be tai's. nope#yellowjackets spoilers
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I mean... someone was gonna have to tell him SOMETIME, right?
#clangen#clan generator#warriors oc#warrior cats#sporeclan#poor mousegrove getting a stress stomachache lol that strange twink really got to her#also this one goes out to all the people who love when dawnpelt gets mad at people out of seemingly nowhere <3#dawnpelt will see someone bedridden and say is anyone gonna pick a fight with that#TO BE CLEAR. crowstar and fennelacorn were most definitely trying to come up with a time and a way to let him know gently#dawnpelt just beat them to the punch#sc moons#sc:mousegrove#sc:spottedfrost#sc:cliffthicket#sc:finchpaw#sc:finchwisp#sc:piperdapple#sc:greenkit#sc:dawnpelt#sc:oscypek#sc:petunia#she's mad because he's an infection risk and that he is here for 'no reason since who he's here for is already dead anyway'#(see also: acting out in fear)#tw injury#tw death#<- implied#ill never stop being sad about petunia
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So yeah, 'Ranma 0.5' or something like that..
#im so happy its getting a remake!!!#i know im like more than a week late but sorry i was busy#and yes this is redraw the artblock sadly hasnt left me :'(#ANYWAYS RANMA!!!!#one of the series of all time fr#ranma 1/2#ranma saotome#akane tendo#ryoga hibiki#p chan#shan pu#«i like this spelling better than shampoo idk its far punny and fun that actually spelling out the pun#also thats how its actually spelled in the japanese ver of the manga#musu#«same goes for him too#ill only be using these spellings while tagging my own posts though since 'shampoo' and 'mousse' are the most popular spellings#and it would seem kinda out of place lol#my art#yucaillusts#god i love them sm#also if you want try to see if you can figure out which art this is a redraw of ;)
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I think its a rite of passage to make an au at least once, and ive been thinking super hard about how Sonic raised tails lately. So obviously an age swap au had to happen. Aka, the au in which they are both team turbo nerd and Tails needs a Vacation as a dire medical suggestion. (more rambling in tags)
#tails the fox#miles tails prower#sonic the hedgehog#sonic au#age swap au#I dont have that many strong emotions about this one! i just wanted to get it done i think#but ill definitely redo this at some point#Sonic at least had the most intense education possible and even though hes not a prodigy he can build with the best of them#the au where they both end up mega nerds#but sonic is a nerd who does olympic level sprints#i like to think he uses a lot of tech in battle but speed is still his strongest asset#he just uses tech to enhance that speed and better utilize it#tails is so so so so tired but he does his best to be a good brother#sonic wasnt there when he was a kid so he had to learn to survive being bullied and abandoned but he found sonic eventually#and was inspired by his resilliance#and sonic admires tails so much his big brother is so smart like whoa#even when he doesnt get it he pretends to to try to impress him#get my boy miles some r and r ASAP#sonic fanart#sonic the hedghog fanart#mogs art
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HC they first met a year or two after Yelan got her vision; post fighting the in abyss but when Kaeya was still navigating his identity from Kaeya, Brother and Right hand of Diluc Ragnvindr to Kaeya Alberich, Cavalry Captain and Quarter master of the Knights of Favonius.
#We know Kaeya's a bit of a sadist and does leave his men in the dark most of the time#Back when he he'd been newly appointed i feel he'd be quite reckless as to how much 'pushing' his knights could handle on missions#used to working from diluc's shadow rather than being the one to direct commands#And Yelan after her experience in the Abyss chooses to work alone and secrectively so that the lives of her comrades won't be in danger#She sees that Kaeya operates very much like her but he does not have the luxury to work as 'freely' as she does when it comes to official#missions for there are still people working under him#(ofc both of them do whatever they want when it comes to going of abyss side quests)#There's no way she doesn't feel some sort of kinship they're really similar in many aspects#she does not want to see a repeat of her certain mistakes#Yelan is also questioning how the actual fuck do the knights operate because why is a 16yr old beefing with her to get to a mafia boss firs#They come to 'good terms' as time passes where they have mutual respect for each other#both of them try their best to outwit each other form time to time of course#Kaeya being petty(er) and Yelan being 'i need to set this guy straight'#But back then after seeing Kaeya work missions for the first time Yelan's thinking that this kid is too smart for his good#additional hcs for Back In That Day#Yelan: -still hasn't gotten her signature bob. -often uses a crutch because Abyss did a number on her and her pre existing chronic illness#Kaeya- has a fuckass mullet#yeah.. my apolocheese for the ramble#genshin impact#genshin impact fanart#kaeya#kaeya alberich#yelan#yelan genshin impact#kms mention
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sellllllll it's meeeeee. hehehehehehehehehhehe
so for ur writing exercises.... deku + light? please? pretty please?
:3c
heheh heheh hehe niku. this will be the death of me. me writing izuku for the first time 🥲 i will only do this for you </3
contains: established relationship, spoilers for the end of the manga, aged up deku but sometime in between the final outcome (he doesn't get the h*** s*** from bakugo yet), mentions of sex and scars
deku + light
izuku only sleeps with the lights off.
it isn't uncommon; many people you know can't sleep with even just a sliver of light turned on somewhere in the room. but the difference with izuku, you learn, is not that he's unable to stand the light―it's that he refuses to.
you quickly pick up on it the first few times he sleeps over.
he fidgets in bed, pretty badly, actually. the nightlight you sleep with glows a warm yellow, illuminating the side of your face and coating him in its afterglow. you chalk it up to nerves, how he pulls at his sleeves and adjusts his position constantly; he is, after all, one of the most anxious people you know.
and this relationship―it's new. heck, even you feel a little jittery with his arm wrapped around you.
the rhythmic tapping on your hip only increases pace. you don't think he realizes it, so your hand gently reaches for his, intertwining your fingers as you turn around in his arms.
he's close, nearly touching you nose-to-nose; the proximity leaves you fuzzy, a little ticklish, so you giggle, a soft "oops," as the freckles dusting his face almost glisten under the warm light.
"hi," you whisper, meeting his eyes; they stare back at you wide in surprise, "can't sleep?"
he looks almost guilty at your question, as if you’ve caught him with the one thing he's been trying to keep from you.
"just—" his voice comes out louder than intended, prompting him to chuckle nervously as he readjusts his volume, "just winding down, sorry."
you inch closer, nuzzling his nose lightly, "it's okay."
"did i wake you?" he asks, cheeks flushing pink as his eyebrows furrow in immediate concern. his expression is something caught between stifling a grin and feeling sorry.
you shake your head against the pillow you share, strands of your hair tangling with his. "just winding down," you tease, watching as his gaze turns softer, eyelids drooping heavier.
sometimes, you think, izuku holds the world in his eyes―a deep, dark green, the color of life. most times, they look at you with wonderment, bright and alive; photos from inko tell you they're the eyes of his inner child.
on nights like this one, however, they hide a depth in them weighted by what you can only assume is time, and all that has happened to him in such a short span of it.
you try your best to understand what lies beneath them, knowing full well he'll never tell you outright what truly bothers him.
"is it the light?" you bring up, some time after laying in silence.
"hm?" he clarifies.
"do you have a hard time sleeping with the nightlight?"
his eyes widen briefly once more, as if shocked that you've caught him again. these split second reactions are ones you've learned to be attentive to when it comes to izuku.
"no," he tries to lie, but you know better as you turn to your nightstand and reach for its switch, "you don't–"
"it was hurting my eyes," you quickly make up an excuse, tucking yourself closer under his chin as you cut off his attempt to deny it again.
finding out that the light was the problem was the easy part—
you'd begun to notice much earlier on that izuku was barely rested on the nights he'd spend at your place. it was only when your old nightlight broke that you began to notice him waking up much later than you did, groggily rousing from a deep sleep.
—what was hard, was figuring out why.
at first, you suspected it was his scars.
"s-sorry, it's not—" he'd warned you, right as your hands gripped the hem of his shirt the first time you were about to have sex, "—it's not nice."
you didn't care though; you still don't care, and you've made that abundantly clear to him since. you love izuku and all his parts―all the nicks and jaggedy pieces of skin that make up who he is.
when you eventually ask him about it, with a request that he be honest with you for once, he tells you that it is and it isn't―the reason why he exclusively sleeps with the lights off, that is.
it's an odd, comforting relationship he has with his body—that he is simultaneously grateful and sorry for how its become a canvas, both painted and marred to symbolize japan’s historic last stand.
you find out the real reason when you catch him staring at his hands.
he does it often, when he thinks you aren't looking—his fists bunched up in the same way he used to watch the power of one for all course through his fingertips; the same way he used to prepare them in battle.
there’s a faraway look in his eyes that lingers, you notice—a little wistful if anything.
“do you miss it?” you finally ask. he gives you the same shocked look he does every time, as if he’s been caught with a secret he’s been trying to hide.
he’s learned a fair bit about you now, too, though—lying to you is futile when you’ve perfected reading his truth. he stares at his fists again as you take a seat beside him, moving to give you space. you rest your head on his shoulder gently, waiting.
“sometimes,” he admits, but you know it’s an understatement.
“i think about the vestiges a lot. i miss them the most, i think,” he continues, clenching his fists tightly, “i always try to reach out to them, but i guess it doesn’t work that way.”
“i… i try to replicate the right conditions every night, but…” then he lets go, stretching his fingers out wide. the scars on the surface ripple through his skin, telling its own story.
you hum, acknowledging what he means. silence sits with the two of you as you take his hand in yours, slowly unfurling his fingers until his palm reveals itself to you. it’s rough to the touch, seasoned with hard work and all that he’s been through.
“is that why you prefer the dark?” you ask softly, after some time.
it's not often that you stay up later than izuku does. when you do though, you catch him shifting in bed, moving from side-to-side. you pretend you aren't awake, but you hear him mumble their names, dwindling in volume as he dozes off to sleep.
he stares at his palm for a moment before he admits quietly, "yeah." his brows furrow as if contemplating whether to say more, but he shakes his head, dark green strands swaying to the beat of his embarrassed chuckle, "nevermind, it's silly."
"it's not."
you intertwine your fingers, sandwiching his hand between yours. a slight sheen glosses over his eyes as he tilts his head up to look at you. he draws in a breath, before it spills over.
"it's..." he finds the words, and you squeeze his hand in comfort, "it's easier to believe it was all real when the lights are out, and that maybe it can happen again."
#deku x reader#izuku x reader#midoriya x reader#bnha x reader#shotorus.workbook#it is here ! the first time ive ever written izuku ! i hope u like it niku !#idt i'll ever feel like anything i write of him will be enough but i tried !#SPOILERS FOR MANGA ENDING PLS DONT READ AHEAD#some stuff abt the blurb: i see this happening in the time between him losing ofa and before getting the suit from bakugo#so somewhere between when hes teaching#and i think its a lot of complex feelings ― he's happy he did what he had to do but is also mourning the loss of something he once had#i don't think i can ever convey that feeling fully but i hope i at least managed to touch on it here with him !#i see this as like . the period in his life where he's transitioning out of something he once knew into smth else entirely#i also hc reader to be his colleague (like a teacher or smth) but anyone closely related to the job would work !#really just someone who has a base level understanding of what he went through but doesnt know everything#which is why they're still trying to learn all these things abt him and read him better#and also why he tries to hide a lot of things from them still / is hesitant to share in fear of scaring them away smth like that !#thats all i can think of for now but ill let u know if i have other thoughts on this later on ! hehe#hope u enjoy niku !#ask#rep#ask game answered#most nervewracking experience of my LIFE writing him#stellamancer#niku.🥩
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i used to pray for krusie times like these
#lazers art#deltarune#deltarune chapter 3#krusie#kris dreemurr#kris deltarune#susie deltarune#deltarune fanart#utdr#utdr tag#GODDDDD#U GUYS HAVE NO IDEA#HOW VALIDATED I FEEL#ive been a diehard krusie since 2018 i was fed so well by chapter 3 and 4 everyone understands me now#they have such a beautiful yuri bromance thing going on i dont even know man#still trying to figure out how to draw them but i will most likely do it more. so ill get there#GODD THAT CHAPTER 3 SCENE#i know everyone and their mom has redrawn it already but like i had to join in on the fun#im glad everyone else is as crazy about it as i am
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Goodness this is like the third episode in a row begetting discourse among the cr fandom. For me this discourse has two perspectives where the division depends on whose perspective you're looking at;
For the armies it was 'We've been sent by the gods and are here to help you stop Predathos as we pla-wait, you're a vessel of Predathos? Isn't that just like Ludinus planned??' which yeah is valid from their perspective
For the Hells it was 'We just came out of 4 back-to-back battles with Ludinus and Predathos itself, we have a solution to save the gods but change the dynamic but we want to discuss it privately with the gods first and now you're trying to kill us!?' which is also valid
What puts me more on BH's side is that we have the context; BH are allowed to be terse when people try to kill them and fail, least of all allies who don't ask for an explanation before asking their god to come down and smite them. They're not villains because they snarked at the person who attempted to sic their god on them, and it's not as if Imogen sic'd Predathos on them in retaliation. Once again they are met with the thankless job and burden that they neither wanted or asked for, but was thrust upon them anyway. With all the times Bells Hells have been criticized for being aimless and indecisive it seems a little strange to criticize them now for being focused and decisive.
Could they have explained from the start? Maybe. Would it have caused a different reaction the moment they said Predathos is in Imogen? Probably not. I can't tell you why they didn't come out of the Cage and immediately explain because I'm not the players; perhaps they wanted to avoid the hysteria and conflict, perhaps they were drained from the fight and wanted to wrap up the episode, or perhaps it was just down to Bell's Hells, as with all CR campaign parties, being infamously bad at communicating, I don't know.
But it's times like these where it's worth reminding that this is a DnD show, nerdy-ass voice actors having fun, it can't always be clean and clear-cut storytelling every second. And sometimes as a fandom we need to take a step back so we don't get ourselves stuck, because we're probably making it deeper than it is and getting annoyed at each other over our interpretation of two groups from the same side getting annoyed at each other. Just, take a breath.
#critical role#cr spoilers#c3 spoilers#c3e120#bells hells#predathos#I understand that many fans side with the armies because they share/relate to their uncertainty over the future of their faith#but the perfect allegory for this god stuff does not exist guys - it just doesn't#all it really needed was a 'what's going on?' or even as tense as a 'we think we're entitled to know what you're intending to do'#but just as Ashton warned the gods were close to smiting them outright - fandom called them paranoid but lo and behold#Imagine how BH would've fared without Predathos? They'd be dust specks for attempting to negotiate#they're not doing Ludinus' plan because they don't want them to die - that is the key point here: the gods are getting a choice#but the gods won't agree to change the status quo without incentive - proving that Predathos is unignorable is that incentive#you cannot put it back in the box and pretend it's not there and Matt's crafted no way to permanently seal it#That's all this really is: Matt crafting actions and reactions for the cast to act and react#and most of the Hells are 20-somethings who all nearly died - they're of course going to be a bit snappy when you try to kill their friend#poor communication and critical role characters name a more iconic duo?#I was in a thread which blocked me for arguing this topic - but I hold no ill will against them; I hope they know that
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Chatterbox Pt. 1 - SFW
>Their calling/texting habits, especially with a partner that loves to be on the phone for hours (part two with the others dropping tomorrow I promise!!)
Hayato Suo - Phone? What phone? Just kidding. He texts a regular amount, but if you wanna be on the phone for a while, his limit is usually an hour unless you're both planning a date or something. He'd prefer to be with you in person otherwise. Invite him over~ He'll bring snacks and drinks for you.
Sakura Haruka- Better on calls than he is on texts for sure. Takes a long time to figure out what to talk about when you two do have calls. Likes to keep them half an hour or shorter regularly. If it's a special occasion or you're on vacation, he doesn't mind if the call goes longer, wanting to hear your voice even if it's only been a day since you left. Accidentally calls you on facetime a lot instead of like...a regular call. So you just see his ear or neck, or it's just completely dark.
Nirei Akihiko - Can talk for hours without fail. He does have an exact bed time that he sticks to though, so while he wants to keep talking, he's about 2 minutes from passing out on the floor. Has call parties that are so chaotic but insanely fun that everyone ends up cracking up during. Added Sakura to one of your calls before, but then Sakura thought you were WITH Nirei. "Sakura-san we're all on different phones." "But you both sound like you're in the same room???"
Kiryu Mitsuki - Calls you when he's gaming and you both just stay on the phone as a way of hanging out. Sometimes forgets you're on the phone and starts humming one of the osts and it sounds sooo nice. He'd sleep with the call still going if it wouldn't completely drain his phone battery. Depends on the day, but when he hasn't seen you in a bit, he's like "Just come over please."
Tsugeura Taiga - Loves calls too. Will call you when he's working out to show you that he hit his new goal. "Babe check out my form, let me know if you think my posture's off" And your just on facetime while he's in his local gym? He asks the people he's with if it's alright first though. Loves chatting or listening equally, so if you just want to hear his voice? He's got plenty to say.
Sugishita Kyotaro - He'll listen if you wanna chat as long as you want, he just doesn't say much. If the call goes on longer than 2 hours he might end up falling asleep. He has to be extra careful with his phone because he's prone to breaking it. It's got the strongest screen protector and case known to man. Actually waterproof at this point probably. Likes to send one set of character emojis when texting and just that set. He's got a special ringtone for you set, and answers it on the first ring every time.
Hiragi Toma - He's fine with calling or texting, but doesn't wanna be on the phone forever. If you have something to say, that's one thing, but if you're gonna talk his ear off, he's also one to just want you to come see him. Actually takes cute candids (unlike Ume who is a menace with them) and has one as your contact pic. Sometimes he looks at it and his stomach feels just a bit better during an attack.
Umemiya Hajime - GOSSIP GIRL FR! He's on the phone with you for hours telling you the juiciest secrets he's found out during the day. If you call him up at 3am cause you had the wildest dream? He's answering and talking about it with you until you're ready to fall back asleep. Has the UGLIEST candid of you you've ever seen and it's your contact pic smh. He has other ACTUALLY cute pictures of you on his phone but he's adamant that you look beautiful in all of them. If he's busy doing something, he'll pass his phone around to either his friends or Kotoha and the kids when he's home to keep you company. Kinda like those "Hey can you watch my boss for me for a second?" Tiktoks?
#Wind breaker#Wind breaker headcanons#Wind breaker x reader#I'm not tagging everyone sorry im tiiiiired#This is me btw im the chatterbox#i love being on the phone for hours its my love language. I actually suck at texting and shit im so dry most of the time#My all time highest score is about 6 hours for one call#also this is one of those ones where like....if i dont do headcanons for ur fav....just message me ill make them like SNAP#i have yet to get use to the chaos of discord ironically#i have to try harder though!!#oh i forgot my writing tag agian#mari writes
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Abuse, Silence, And Why Kevin Can Fuck Himself
I recently finished watching Kevin Can Fuck Himself on Netflix, and, aside from being the most brutally honest portrayal of domestic abuse I have ever seen, I discovered a beautifully written examination of narrative as power and silence as abuse and how this manifests in our larger culture.
Without going into too much detail, the show is filmed in two distinct styles that are interleaved throughout each episode to tell a cohesive story. Allison and Kevin’s relationship as seen by the rest of the world is told through a multi-cam, laugh-track sitcom that depicts a very typical “goofy husband, shrewish wife” mainstream comedy. Allison’s life through her own eyes is told through a single-cam drama/thriller about Allison planning to murder Kevin to escape his abuse.
It’s an absolute masterclass in screenwriting, but more than that, every episode explores the difference between truth, fact, and reality, and how none of these things are quite as much or as little as story. But while the process of transforming the chaotic and plotless reality of life into a story is as involuntary and essential as breathing, misogyny and the degradation of women is just as ubiquitous in our society, and a story that exists at the expense of another person’s lived reality is a refutation of their humanity.
It's also just a great show for anyone who likes to engage with history (or reality TV or true crime or “real life stories” in general), because while we have to tell ourselves stories about her own lives, we have to tell ourselves stories about other people as well. Eternal silence is narrative death, and the perpetual silence of an unspoken narrative is often the last death we can visit on someone whose story we’d rather ignore.
I also pulled up some books – Lolita and Disgrace – that dealt with similar themes, but from the perspective of the abuser. And what strikes me the most is that, across three beautifully written stories about narrative and silence within a culture that normalizes abuse, Allison, who began her story within a state of narrative death, was the only point-of-view character who had any chance of surviving.
One of the main themes of Kevin is that a compelling story is often a story that reinforces what we already believe or like to believe, and while the story may be factual and true it often also exists at the expense of someone's lived reality. The exact same series of events can be a silly joke or a harrowing tale of abuse depending on the lens through which we view it, but historically we've only been willing to see the multicam, laugh track, sitcom perspective on unbalanced relationships.
The alchemical process of turning a series of disjoint facts and experiences into a narrative creates something new and compelling, and erases much of what previously existed. In this way, it’s entirely irreversible. We spin our experiences into a very thin thread, a story we can tell ourselves that elicits something within us, something we need in order to live with the complex, uncertain, and unsatisfying reality of life. In think in many ways the thing we elicit in ourselves is truth. But truth is both more and less than fact, often more a reflection of our own beliefs and desires than the events of our lives. And in telling that truth we may never stray from the facts, but we almost by definition cannot give voice to another person’s reality.
There's a scene in season 2 of Kevin when Allison is hit by a door – a la the classic excuse – because of Kevin’s carelessness. And while he absolutely did not hit her, the way it's written is such an incredible allegory for how Kevin has curated their story and curated their friends' and family’s perceptions of their story such that even if she tells everyone the exact, unvarnished truth of what's happening to her and begs for help, they will only be capable of seeing the laugh-track, sitcom, “Kevin is a harmless goofball and his wife is a total shrew” perspective on the events of their lives.
As so often happens with abuse, their friends and family saw Allison being hurt because of Kevin. But the alchemy of creating a narrative around Kevin and Allison is irreversible, and the series of events they witness can only be spun together to a joke, an accident, a silly, childish mistake. Allison’s reality, Allison’s pain and fear, is completely elided. Like a lost sound in the middle of a sentence, her experience goes silent, and their larger understanding of her relationship never has to change. And you feel so acutely how Allison lives her entire life in that silence.
Storytelling is human, it’s essential, there’s no other way to engage with our own lives. And it’s not lying. It’s never lying to tell the truth. But it doesn’t reflect every reality, either, because another person’s reality can’t be reflected within our own narrative, because that’s what it means to be another person. To spin two different threads.
And because narrative is the essential process by which we understand our reality, denying someone their own narrative, or denying that this narrative be heard, is inherently abusive. To allow someone a voice is to give them humanity, and to suppress it is to strip that humanity away.
Disgrace, by J.M. Coetzee, follows the story of a professor, David, who rapes a student and then fails to protect his daughter, Lucy, from being raped by intruders in their home. He destroys his daughter’s life – not through failing to protect her, but through twisting her rape into a story about why the rape of his student wasn’t wrong. The main theme of the book is generally considered to be exploitation, but Coetzee doesn’t deal with the exploitation of the rape. That’s too direct, too immediate, too easy for the reader to understand as misogynistic and wrong. Rather, Coetzee delves into “the innocuous-seeming use of another person to fill one's gentler emotional needs” (Ruden).
The rape is how we understand David as a fundamentally exploitative person, a person who denies others their humanity by converting them into a vessel for his own desires, who erases their voice in order to speak through them and give himself the things he needs. And that’s how we recognize that the way he absorbs and claims the stories of his daughter and his student is another kind of violation of their humanity. Another way of turning women into vessels for men’s pain and fear and need.
What’s fascinating is that David's student finds her voice – files a complaint against him – and is eventually able to continue with her life. The woman he raped is less damaged by him than his own daughter, because she was the woman he couldn’t permanently silence.
In Lolita, another brilliant novel about abuse, dehumanization, and storytelling, Humbert turns to the reader at the end and says, “Imagine us, reader, for we don’t really exist if you don’t.”
It’s not that Humbert knew he was fictional, but that he knew everyone was fictional. Believed the entire world only truly existed in his own mind, because anything beyond that was irrelevant to his needs. He coped with the collapse of his ability to dehumanize Dolores (who he called Lolita) by demanding that his voice be resurrected. Demanding immortality. Demanding his narrative exist in another person’s world, and thereby be given the existence and humanity that Allison and Dolores and Lucy and David’s student were denied.
Pushing his needs, finally, onto the reader, because we are the only person he has left, and a person like him can only exist through the use of another. In that way, Humbert was powerless. In that way, Kevin and David were powerless, too.
In Disgrace, David’s dream is to write an opera, and at the end of the book he realizes he’ll never finish his magnum opus. He’ll never be able to terminate the process of converting himself, his world, into a story. But he does learn to decenter himself in that narrative. And it’s when he loses all fear of death, and any conception of the self, that he gains the ability to give dogs – who he generally equates to women – a voice within his opera, his life’s work.
It’s in death that we discover our true unimportance as human beings, that we learn to let go of vanity and our conception of the self entirely. And David had degraded women so thoroughly in order to justify how he used them to meet his own emotional needs that it was only in losing all value for his own life that he could gain the ability to see them as equal voices. To actually put those voices into his own life story. It's at the cost of himself that he allows other people to truly exist, in the death of the self that he finally allows the world to exist outside of himself. It’s almost a positive character arc. Almost.
When Kevin finally loses the ability to abuse Allison, he, like many abusers, loses all desire to live. His world was built on a structure of superiority and inferiority, on beings and vessels, on the inherent value of men and the inherent meaninglessness of women’s lives. The system on which he based his entire reality has been destroyed by Allison’s declaration of the self. And, if he was a being because she was a vessel, then in losing the ability to treat her as a vessel, to fully and completely dehumanize her, he has lost his own humanity.
It may be perfectly summed up here: “Become major. Live like a hero. That's what the classics teach us. Be a main character. Otherwise, what is life for?” (Coetzee).
If you’re not to be a main character, if there indeed is no split between major and minor characters, between people and the paper dolls that populate their story, between living beings and the vessels into which they pour their need – what is life for?
Nothing. At least, not for people whose narrative must exist at the expense of another.
And that’s why I say that only a narrator like Allison could survive this kind of story. Despite beginning her story trapped in eternal silence, her reality fully elided no matter how immediate and obvious it became, Allison was the only point-of-view character of any of these three stories who didn’t establish her power through the degradation of another. Who didn’t conceptualize the world via being and vessels. Whose narrative didn’t exist, by necessity, at the expense of another person’s humanity. Whose thread could exist in a larger tapestry without destroying her sense of self.
Don’t get me wrong, she’s not generally a likable character. She’s misogynistic, cruel, selfish, jealous, desperate, afraid, and in pain. Like anyone in an abusive relationship, she’s not at her best, and she’s often pushed to do things that are ugly and disturbing because she’s simply been pushed too far.
But, for me, the power in her character is in how her last scene never felt like a final scene. Her story didn’t have to be killed, her conception of the self didn’t have to be killed, in order to reveal the brutal reality of stories twisting and intertwining without any inherently superior truth or narrative among them. Allison’s story was one of declaring herself. And that’s why it didn’t feel like it ended at the end. Instead, this felt like a beginning.
#this is probably the most egregious 'post that no one asked for' that I've ever written#but man this show HIT me y'all#and then I went back and reread parts of disgrace and that hit me too#it also made me reconsider my online presence and how I myself engage with narrative in the very small little world I'm a part of#I caught some shit a while ago and made a conscious decision to never comment on the narrative around mental health#and to be clear I was just talking about a general narrative in society at large I wasn't bringing up anything specific or attacking people#more how larger social narratives filter into and sometimes come to define individual stories#but it was upsetting to people and I figured instead I can just try to express a compassionate perspective on the mentally ill myself#but now I wonder if I've gone too far#idk without naming any names I'm getting unblocked by people who should definitely still find my mindset intolerable to their worldview#and I don't blame them because we all have reasons for the things we believe and we're all just doing our best#but it's a canary in the coal mine#it makes me think I've become so focused on not ruffling feathers that I'm tacitly approving some disturbing beliefs#and I think I could have happily ignored that if I hadn't just watched this show#posts that no one asked for#kevin can fuck himself#kevin can f*** himself#op#longer rambles
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dude I need to know where bbno$ gets all his pants bc like
@bbnotumbl sir where can I get these
#yeah i guess i could make them#and maybe when i get more confident in my skills ill try them .#but please#hes so peak and so are his fits most of the time#all pics are from his insta which is @bbnomula#yeetalks#bbno$#fashion#i fuckin guess
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Sukuita ahhhhhhhhh
when sukuna doesnt know how to love and doesn't really care to try but the connection is so DEEP that it barely matters and he wont treat yuuji good he wont but he'll be so much more intense than anyone else yuuji could ever hope to find and whatever fucked up shit exists between them fills this void where the missing love goes and maybe yuuji can love sukuna because his heart is so beautiful and big but sukuna cant come close to offering something human so instead he offers everything else and it mashes together into something morbidly codependent
#trying to undersgand them like solving a rubix cube in my brain .#sukuita#its like an unspoken thing my brain gets and can feed into my keyboard but consciously thinking about it makes no sense to me at all#but it also makes Tha Most sense in the entire world#god gege should have made them fuck nasty on paper . ill never forgive him#yuuji is his pet but also his antithesis but also his mirror but also this engima built to destroy him but#also to give him the first unconditional pure innocent love he-#has ever received#and does sukuna care about that the way normal people do. NO#he isnt touched or moved by it#but its fascinating#and he's never experienced it. and hes fascinated by it. and there is a really good chance he doesnt think yuuji is weak for it#that he respects it in a weird way but it also changes Nothing#AHHSHHHHHHHHH AWOOOOOOOO transforming into a werewolf and bounding off into the woods
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its been fun yall see you when splatoon 4
#dedf1sh#its been actually crazy to have been a f1sher since s2#our little fucked up gender and mental illness capsule to pass around ahato mizuta made for a fucking crazy little community#and s3 artists going back and making their own f1sh was such a good time#and acht in side order real has delivered an insurmountable amount of life to the tag#going from a tag that has something new maybe once a day to the absolute flood that side order caused was fucking incredible#but all hype dies out eventually#many fewer people have their own f1shes theyre shaking around for fun. many more arent really as into splatoon anymore#i dont think the ride is over but the dedf1sh tag has not been this barren in quite a long time and these droughts will likely get longer#and more frequent as time passes#some previously big f1shers have just moved to bsky or gone offline since the boom#if youre taking the time to read this and you love this character then make them your own and share something about it#im kind of a hypocrite in that regard but i guess you need to start sometime#over the past 6 years ive never written down my own headcannons#ive never drawn my own design#ive never put out anything i wrote#but ill make you a promise to start to try if you stick with me in our green mental illness octopus fanclub#the most beautiful part of this community has always been seeing the pieces of the souls of the people giving unique life to a character#who even now has limited lore and personality and motives#and watching the way their fish refracts their own#this is a unique fandom and i want to try to keep it alive while we wait for our next big wave of popularity#and maybe help some acht fans find out why ahato was such a beautiful moment in time to so many. and maybe help make another moment
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Lately ive just been so busy with stuff (sigh) my motivation is totally not there rn, but i wanted to try drawing seigaku in my style!
i think they turned out pretty okay, but i think if i had more energy id change some things :333
#honestly im not rlly focused on tenipuri rn but i feel like drawing them always gets me out of artblock lollol#theyre not completely accurate but idrc+ i just think its fun to play with their designs#i thought about explaining my ideas for these in the tags but honestly im unsure lol#i feel like most of them are self explanatory?? kinda??#like kawamura seems to have rounder features in the show. i think. and a :3 mouth. but with inui its like. idk#with inui i feel like he looks like hes 30 years old lmao i just get the vibe#also i like giving tezuka very messy hair. i like to imagine he styles it perfectly but it gets messed up from wind or something lolol#also i thought abt doing all the schools but honestly thats wayyy too much for me lol. maybe ill try it out eventually#anyways. enough YAPPING or whatever the cool kids say#prince of tennis#prince of tennis fanart#tenipuri#tenipuri fanart#idk what else to tag.#seigaku#idc. go be free#sheetzking#unculturedswine69
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