#im almost a sixth of total messages

[sleepyboisinc]

the fact that i contributed more than minetra to technogang,,,,, she has 8k i have 11k hdkdhfkdk h o w she is feral

[aspiestvmusings]

First Thoughts w. Minor Endgame SPOILERS

I am basically done with my spoilery Avengers: Endgame posts, but... I’ve decided to delay posting them, because as hard as I tried...it’s impossible for me to write any reviews or comments or reactions without spoiling...a bit too much. And though I know people have shared much more details than I have...much sooner... I don’t want to. Really. Or I want to... but I can’t...

So, for now, I’ll start small. With very vague spoilery post and commenting only on few things, without context. Despite being as vague as possible, this will have spoilers, so..

CONSIDER THIS YOUR LAST SPOILER WARNING!

THERE ARE SPOILERS FOR ENDGAME UNDER CUT, SO IF THE SITE DIDN’T FILTER OUT & HIDE THIS PROPERLY TAGGED (SPOILER) POST, THEN THIS IS THE TIME TO STOP & NOT READ ANY FURTHER

First: in all the screenings I've been to the audience has laughed, and gasped, and cried, and applauded. The laughter bursts vary a bit, the level of (loud) crying depends, but one thing is constant. Iron Man’s last scene brings near total silence, because unlike in IM3 everyone knows that this is actually the last film including Iron Man as we know him. And one thing has  been constant - people applaud when during the end credits it’s RDJs name/image on screen. RDJ gets a “standing ovation”.  Amazing acting by so many actors in this film...but for me RDJ’s trumps all. 

Second: As a parallel to the last IM film, the last Avengers (as they were) film ends with a voiceover/narration from Tony. But unlike with the Iron Man films, where even those who were unaware of the end credits scene & Avengers, and that IM will return, this time the audience knows that he won’t return. That voiceover is final goodbye....the wording is so final... so the audience knows there will be no “IM returns”... he is really saying goodbye to the character. And people listen to it...mostly...in silence. Like mourning. A whole minute (or whatever) silence in honour of RDJ as Tony/IM. 

Third: Several characters say the word SHIT in this movie. The word is repeated several time...in different scenes. And yet...no-one says “language!” One scene particular is the sweetest and the funniest. You’ll know when you hear it...repeated. 

Fourth: This is important to know for those, who are in a hurry - there really is NO END CREDITS SCENE. No mid-credit, no end-credit. The voice-over from RDJ/Tony... as a goodbye message to IM and the final character title cards for the original six are it. Then it’s just credits rolling. 

Though there is one thing at the very end. There’s no picture, but there is audio at the very end of the credits. If you listen very carefully you’ll hear some clanging... FIVE TIMES (I counted five, but maybe I missed a few?) Whether that sound is from the past - Tony making the 1st suit in 2008, or present or future (someone making a new hammer/weapon or a new IM/superhero suit)... is yet unknown. But I’d like to think it’s in memory of Tony’s start as IM. 

That’s the end of Tony’s Iron Man, and though unlike with successors to other characters roles/thrones that were properly introduced, there was no introduction of the next IM/Tonys replacement, there were a few hints where it might go. Pay attention to one of the child characters during the “middle” of the film (plus the newest member or the iron suit wearing team) & then to a young man/teen boy at the back in the "final" scene.

Fifth: it’s been 21...no...22 days since....the events of A3:IW  That is one day for every MCU film so far. That’s just one of the many many callbacks & references to the past MCU films. 

Sixth:  Several next generation superheroes are kinda introduced. Future “replacements” for Captain America & Hawkeye & even Iron Man are kinda shown or hinted at. The new CA is officially introduced. CM as the new leader is kinda introduced. Hawkeyes successor is hinted at. But so is...though much more subtly... Iron Man’s... 

Seventh: There are so so so many callbacks & references to past MCU films. Some lines are quoted exactly. Some things are referenced more subtly. I’ve only seen half of the films, so I only caught half of the references probably. And most likely missed many even tho the films I have seen. 

Eight: The mid/end credits scene from Captain Marvel (”Where’s Fury?”)  is not in the film. But... the film works best if you consider it was cut (not that it was a misleading clip). If you imagine it being between the Hawkeye family scene & the Tony’s helmet message to Pepper recording scene...everything fits better.... cause without that moment between those scenes it seems like something is missing from the timeline.   (I’ll explain in my future spoiler post)

Nine: Natasha & Clint fighting over who gets to be the one to go on the mission - who is more “worthy”...And in general all the talk about who gets to do what mission/work - everyone wanting to volunteer (or..almost...everyone). They really are the Avengers (not the pre-vengers). #everyoneintheteamisallaboutthesuperherolife 

Ten: Every character gets their moments to shine - scenes for their character, and each get closure (kinda... even those who we know will be part of the future MCU films). And every hero/character got their moment to shine also during the big battle. It was a TEAM event. And every one of the main six got their final/goodbye scene. Plus all the Original Six get their own “title card” during the end credits.

Eleven: Lots of SNAPPING in this film. Characters snapping at each other (angry speeches), but also the actual snapping (of the gauntlet...as seen in IW)

Twelve: This movie is a lot about THE SMARTS. This is about the BRAINS more than the BRAWN. Come up with clever plan, outsmart the others. There is a lot of that going on in this film. Though,its also a lot about putting the two together: BRAINS + BRAWN - getting the best of both.... 

Thirteen: a rodent that looks a lot like a rat (or maybe it is a mouse... since Disney is all about Mickey Mouse)...plays a pretty important part in the film.

Fourteen: Stan Lee makes a cameo. IMO this was not as great as many of his others. Also... for whatever reason they decided to use the CM (VFX) strategy for his scene. It’s a little fun moment, but I’d say his cameo in CM works better as his “last cameo ever”

Fifteen: There is a montage in the (early in the film) beginning of the film which is almost exactly like a montage/scene in SHREK. In this film it’s the purple bad guy starring in the scene, in SHREK it was the green good guy. OR...maybe I remember incorrectly, and the scenes aren’t really that similar.... I have to re-watch Shrek films

Sixteen: You’ll hear the best/worst bedtime story ...ever... (???) being told in this film. 

Seventeen: There will be SALAD & DESSERT. And references to both will make you cry. You will probably cry just before/during/after the scenes that mention salad & dessert... #eatasalad #juicepops 

Eighteen: Pay attention to the fancy lady & the man with the flowers. Their scenes are some of the most important. 

Nineteen: The funny & more relaxed scenes & the serious/sad/fight scenes alternate. After a sad moment you get a laugh moment, then sad again, then laughs again. 

Twenty: Food plays an important part in the film. There’s no Shawarma (I guess  the Shawarma place owner/workers got dusted?), but Thor’s bread from the trailers is not the only food we see/hear  mentioned: (peanut butter) sandwich, tacos, cheeseburgers, salad, dessert, juice pops, table full of plates with food, cheese wiz.... and Tony’s snacks all make an appearance in the film. Only question remains: who will do the dishes? You’ll see in the film who. 

Twenty-One: In some ways Tony’s & Nebula’s stories (arcs, endings) in this film are similar. Nebula’s past & Tony’s past are kinda haunting them, and they both are able to conquer it. Both were “bad” (Tony a weapons maker in his father’s footsteps, Nebula a mercenary cyborg under her father's control) and became “good”.  On top of that both have daddy issues (most of the characters have mommy/daddy issues...) They both make choices that complete their respective arcs. In many ways their big final moments are similar... even if you wouldn’t think so right away. 

Twenty-Two: Since his name has been in cast list on IMDB for while, it has been no spoiler that he is this movie, but yes, the (kid) actor who plays Harley Keener in IM3 is also in this film. He is in just one scene. So if you notice an unfimiliarface in a scene (the camera clearly shows him, too, at one point...) & ask yourself “who is that kid”, then THAT’S him. Because they don’t include a flashback from IM3 for him... the actor (and the character) have aged.The kid is now a teen/young adult, so many people don’t recognize him. And apparently many don’t like IM3, or haven’t seen it. 

EXTRA: This film, especially if we look at it as a two-parter (asone part of Infinity Saga: A3 + A4) is ...kinda.... a story about fathers & daughters. In A3 we saw a lot of Thanos/daughters stuff, in A4 we pretty much both open & end the film with father/daughter moments (it may not be the very last frame of the film, but it’s close to end). I can’t spoil those, but you’ve seen one of the films father/daughter moments in the trailers (Hawkeye/daughter - he has sons, too, but the focus is on the daughter). And in general, the film is about family  (the avengers superheroes family)

 And I’ll end this post with a new banner/header I made... in honour of the strongest & most kind-hearted superhero...

RDJ as Tony Stark as Iron Man, fans love you 3,000!

[weeaboo-horror-stories]

I am bisexual.

When I was in the 4th grade, at age 11, I met this really cute girl. She was about, what, 4'6 ft tall? She was actually my classmate, but I was always socially awkward. It's a long story, but we eventually became friends. She was REALLY smart and hardworking (in our school, if you're an honor student, you're REAALLY smart.) while i was lazy and average. Of course, back then we were still children. (Btw let's refer to her as "Maki" instead) We both loved anime, and we were total weebs. At that time, I was obsessed with Hetalia. I influenced her to watch it, she was a shugo chara fan. Anddd so she also got addicted.

Anyway, I was pretty fond of drawing, and people saluted me for my skills. Maki worshipped me like a God no im sERIOUS and called me "sensei", because i gave her lots of tips. She overestimated me too much. To the point where she neglected her studies just to talk to me. Although, I myself did not notice that. She always told me that she never had a true friend, and I was her first friend. She always told me that she loved me, and that we will forever be friends until we die. 

Her mother started to notice the big drop of our grades, and blamed me for it. She also started talking back to her, although Maki said that she did that back before we were friends.

Fifth and sixth grade came by, (i am from asia, 6th grade is our last year in gradeschool, but we still remain at the same school.) and her mother's anger at me grew, for Maki's behavior became "worse", as Maki explained. She forbid her to see me, and I was hurt. But she still constantly followed me, we were inseparable. 

Her mother even asked for a transfer of section in 6th grade, just for her to get away from me. But that didn't work either.

I didn't understand, she still remained an honor student, so what's wrong? I was hurt.

So one day, I confronted her. I wasn't rude, if that's what you're thinking. But she screamed at me and demanded at me to leave her daughter alone right in front of the school's catholic church. She called me a demon. Everyone in the school was looking at her with shame, and looking at me with pity. I shaked the tears off, I didn't want her to see me cry. I left afterwards in tears, it wouldn't stop. The only thing that cheered me up was a friend that went with me in the car (because no driver). She was my childhood friend (first friend too. We've been friends for almost 12 years) let's refer to her as Aka.

I never realized I was bisexual until freshman year came. But that's where the real thing comes.

At that time, the school year was ending, and I told her that maybe we should be apart

I had two reasons for saying that.

One, is because I didn't want her to get hurt anymore. Her mother abuses her. It just hurts me to see her hurt, and yet still smile. 

Two, is because I felt odd. I think about her everytime, I go nuts when I don't get to talk to her for a day. I felt so crazy that I didn't know what it was. I had a crush on a boy back then at 4th grade, but the feeling was different somehow. I was so confused. 

When I told her to break it for the 3rd time, we did. But afterwards, we came by again. She told me that she was so sad. I didn't know what to feel, so I smiled at it. It was March. 

My weeaboo phase ended at that month.

I started to watch different things like the vampire diaries...etc.

Afterwards, I have come to the thought that I had feelings for her, so I told her that we should be acquaintances starting our first year of highschool.

When we found out the people we will be classmates with, I told her to be friends with a certain person (lets call her Eli?)

And so she did.

But, I realized how jealous I was after nearly a month.

She made a bunch of friends, while I...made nothing. But that's not why I was jealous

I was jealous because I wasn't with her everyday like we used to, it's not the same anymore. I felt ignored. So I sent her a message. And she answered with

"Heya~ Recieved ur text but ddnt recive load, im NOT trying to ignore you though, i thought we were aquaintances and yes i knew u helped me a lot and i appreciate u for that but you dnt hav d right to tell me whether to make friends or not, because we have our own lives n i do wat i want when i wanna do it n i wanna make friends so what? I actually did make lots this first few weeks of school already. Plus i dont think we can relate to each other anymore.. I love hetalia & anime still but u've gone out of d fandom n went to TVD n PLL, im not really interested in that though,sorry.I still belive dat anime could be real while u think their jst living in ur comp screen. Im not trying to judge ur opinions because i respect ur opinions owo scouting is actually fun though, its not boring nor tiering at all, its pretty fun >w< i luv it. Believe it or not i still miss you but i dont think we can relate. I hav 2 study everyday n night, my grades matter to me, so please dnt say im trying to ignore u by not going to fb, i jst hav 2 study thats y. I cant be on here all the time n i barely hav time to get on here because im trying to make up for my failing ones.. n my phone dsnt lyk recieving load idk y. btw i sti believe my friends wnt leave me and yeah thats all i gotta say bye see u :)"

I felt offended..somehow

So I confronted her, told her that I wanted us to be friends again. But she didn't want to, for she already got a new set of friends. And of course, I wanted to cry. But I didn't want to show it. 

I wanted to shout. 

There was another message, it was her apologizing for offending me. Of course, I didn't see that message. But I confronted her the day before, I think she was offended. No...she IS offended. I felt baddd 

I don't want to reveal anything else, but I sent her a total of 20+ apology messages through deviantart and facebook from July to March of 2014. 

I was seenzoned, and there was so reply.

I cried every night.

I felt so obsessed, stalking her through every site.

I was friends with Eli, and I asked her about what Maki thinks of me. She said that Maki didn't want to talk about it, but she disliked me. Ouch. 

Although, Eli DID say that Maki had an older brother and an older sister who was married, but I knew those were big lies. She only had one sister, which was younger than her. I can't believe she lied, she wasnt the type of person to lie.

At January of 2014, I met a guy from the higher batch (can we call him vans). He made me realize that I was bisexual, that I loved Maki.

So, at April of 2014, I sent her my last message. I even confessed to her that I had a crush on her.

But at October (or so) I sent her another message through deviantart, admitting all faults.

I didn't expect her to reply, but when I checked my deviantart page again, she replied.

I'm too lazy to look up what she said, but she said that she forgave me, asked me how I was, and all. But she sent another message that said that we couldnt be together again, but we are good now.

I was so happy that I cried, screamed, and burried myself in the pillow. Literally. 

Until now, at sophomore year, I still see her. We're still not classmates, and our classrooms are far from each other, but each time I see her..my heart still tends to ache.

We are from different clubs (she is from the english club, while I am from the art club. If the art club wasn't so full, I think we would've been clubmates.)

Next school year, I have a horrible feeling that we will be classmates, due to the fact that I am pretty sure we took the art course. Our school will sort us by course next year, and I'm not sure what I will do if I were to be her classmate once more. Will I breakdown and cry in front of her? Or smile at her, and fall for her all over again? It's not fair. I still want to see her. 

I hope her mother will accept me one day, and I will be able to be close to her once again. I am okay with being "just friends", I just don't want to be apart from her. I hope she understands. 

Maki, if you're reading this, thank you. Thank you for letting me experience being loved, feeling loved. I'm sorry for being such a horrible person back then. Thank you so much.

[thearcaneescape]

how did they all meet ?? and how did each one of them get into drag and all the shit (also i need more insight in vmin’s and namjinkook’s relationships 👀👀) im so happy you are back !!! tomorrow i finish exams FINALLY so i’ll probably try to draw something ✨

So, so far we all know Jin and Joon met kind of first (not really), and it happened at Café L’Eto, where Jin is still a waiter. Tae and Jungkook met before any of them, actually. Kook and Tae met when they were kids, on Tae’s family’s trip to Wales, they reconnected in London. Jin and Joon met Kookie in London, again at café L’Eto, and Tae, Kook and Jimin met during Sixth Form/Year 11. Jin and Joon didn’t really meet Jimin until they all started working together.

Jin: He got into drag after seeing Sugar perform at the bar. He loved how glamorous the whole place was, crystal lights, well-staffed and beautiful, and just seeing the sparkly dresses and the performances was it for him.

Jimin: He started when Tae took him to the bar and they needed more performers. As a dancer, he was drawn to the performance aspect, and when Sugar caught him singing while he changed into his dress, the older convinced him to perform live.

Tae: He actually started as a uni project to make dresses fitted for male bodies, and he just fell in love with being on the stage and singing live. He has the most fans there, rivaled by Jimin’s.

VMin: They started courting when they both went to uni, they go to the same uni, so it worked out for them. Jimin was the more vocal one in his affections, but Tae wasn’t too far behind, tailoring him his first drag outfit, which will appear in a future chapter, so no description. Their first date was at a small Japanese restaurant in Covent Garden, and they had an unfortunate incident involving the koi and a stray piece of nabe. They’ve been dating for almost 3 years now.

NamJin: So, they met when Joon still called themselves Namjoon, and it all happened because of Joon’s flailing arms and Jin’s server tray, which had a delicately made lychee and rose cake and a matcha green tea latte. Joon apologised a total of 50 times before Jin got him to stop talking. Joon came back to the café to apologise another 10 times a week later and asked Jin if he wanted to go have a bite to eat, on them, as an apology. Jin agreed and they’ve been together ever since.

NamJinKook: So when Joon and Jin first realised Kookie had a crush on them both, they got into the worst fight of their relationship. Joon went to sleep at a uni friend’s house (Jackson), and Jin didn’t see him again for almost an entire week. Kookie, during that week, had started crushing on Jimin, so he’d kind of stepped away from the couple, but he was absolutely wrecked when Jimin and Tae started dating, so he drifted away from their friend group for two years, taking a bit of a gap year from his first year of uni before coming back. Then all the shit in the pic happened, they talked it out, discussed their feelings like adults and then, as Jimin predicted, they spent most of the six days Hoseok was exiled in bed, working out the unresolved tension between them. Jin and Joon treat Kookie like an adult most of the time, but not when he’s being a little brat.

I don’t know if you wanted to know about Sugar, so I didn’t write him in, but if you do, send me another message!

[corvid-knight]

Splinter

Dave's got a problem. A familiar one, really. He never has found a safe way to deal with it, though. But things are different on Earth C, and Dirk is able and willing to help.

(Read it on ao3 here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12874821) 

(part 1 of Post-Canon Striders) 

TG: yo TG: dirk TG: need you to be home right now man

Well, you are home. On the roof, actually, because when you're not doing anything that's where you tend to end up. Rose could probably give you a couple dozen reasons why your need to find the high ground when you're by yourself is some indicator of deep-seated trauma, but you just like to be up here and look at shit that isn't ocean. And hey, Earth C is pretty.

TG: dirk check your goddamn messages TG: you know what actually dont check your messages for a while if youre not doing it TG: just be aware that im in your living room when you do get home TG: im uh TG: a lil bit freaked out

Damn.

Dave doesn't do "a little bit freaked out." He has "totally fine," "seems like he's totally fine," and "pure panic." And he'll lump the first two in together under "fine," so he's probably in the third state right now. Which is decidedly less than awesome.

Time to get off the roof.

Like he said, he's in the living room, pacing in circles and almost tripping over the deactivated bot in the corner every round. He's not looking at where he's going, either, just fidgeting with what looks like a captcha card.

Okay, he's definitely going to trip on it this time, you can tell. Before you actually think about what the fuck you're doing, you flash-step up behind him, grabbing his shoulder to get him to stop. The noise he makes when you touch him is scared and pretty close to inhuman, and you barely step back fast enough to not get skewered as he uncaptchalogues his sword from the card in his hand. He's reacted badly to your surprising him before, but this is kind of new. "Fuck, Dave—"

"Oh, shit—Dirk. Okay. Dirk, definitely Dirk, okay..." Yeah, panicked. Also terrified, you think. He captchas the sword again as you step away and raise your hands. Doesn't put the card away, though. "Sorry. Jumpy."

"No shit." No more flash-stepping. No quick moves if you can help it, actually. "Who'd you think was going to sneak up on you in my house, right after you texted me? I mean, it's not like there's a lot of people that can get the jump on you like that—"

"One more than there should be, right now." Dave glances at you, then back down at the card in his hand as if to reassure himself that it's still there, before crossing his arms. It should come across as a defensive gesture, but you can't help but read it as him trying to be smaller, less noticeable. "Met somebody else who used to be dead today."

"Oh?" You've gotten to deal with a lot of those—they just show up, every so often, like the game processes ghosts and spits them out here as living people if they deserve it. Usually you can tell when one's woken up somewhere near you, it's a nice sixth sense that your aspect's seen fit to give you, but you haven't gotten any hints of that lately. Otherwise you would've been trying to figure out who needed the explanation of where they were and why they weren't in the dreambubbles. "Who—"

"Bro." He says it flatly, no emotion at all, but that only lasts for maybe ten seconds as he keeps talking. "I thought he was you for a second, okay, I swear to god, he lost the goddamn hat somewhere but not the fucking shades, y'all're the same size and you look kinda like him but I asked him about the movie you borrowed and he just looked at me for a second and then—fuck. Fuck."

"Calm down." Dave gets quieter when he's upset, not louder, and by the end of that sentence his voice is so soft and shaky you can barely hear it. "It was really him?"

He actually laughs at that. You don't really like the almost-hysterical sound of it. "Fuck, man, you think I'm gonna forget what a real Texan accent sounds like? He asked me what the fuck I was talking about, might've asked me some more shit if I hadn't fucking ran..."

Well, shit.

You've kind of always wondered about Dave's bro. He's a splinter of you, after all. A bad one, but then again you have to remember that whatever he is, you have the potential to be under the right circumstances. Or the wrong ones. (Although you'd rather fucking die, permanently, than do anything to put Dave in the state he's in right now. He's going to cut himself on that captcha card, if he doesn't stop fucking with it. Those things are virtually indestructible.) But no matter how much you've toyed with the idea of actually getting to meet him, you're still firmly on the side of not really wanting to. Ever.

Still, you're going to have to do something here. "You got any idea where he is?"

Dave shrugs. "Either he followed me or he didn't," he says, glancing at the window. He doesn't make any move toward it, though. "Came here 'cause I can't let him follow me home, I don't ever want him near Karkat or the grubs. Same with going anywhere else." He laughs that shaky almost-fake laugh again, raking the hand that isn't clutching the captcha card through his hair. "Shit, I sound like an asshole..."

"You don't sound like an asshole." You go over to the window, trying to find somebody that looks a hell of a lot like you. "Scared maybe, but considering the motherfucker we're talking about here, I don't blame you."

Dave is pacing again. You don't have to turn around to know that. "Sound like I'm throwing you under the goddamn bus—"

"Don't be an idiot. No offense, but I'm pretty sure I can handle your bro a hell of a lot better than you can." There he is, leaning against the wall of a building on the other side of the street, face turned up to watch the general vicinity of the window you're looking out of. Even from this distance you can see that yeah, that could be easily you, and fuck if that's not unnerving. "You sit tight. I'm going to go down and talk to him—"

"Dude, don't, please—" Dave grabs your shoulder before you can even turn away from the window, and there's no mistaking the desperation in his voice. "He's gonna end up hurting you—"

"We're just going to talk," you repeat firmly, taking his hand off your shoulder. "No one's hurting anyone." Well, that might not be true—if you have to hurt him to convince him to leave Dave alone, so be it. "Wait here, alright? I'll be back up in a bit."

Dave does not look convinced. He still nods as you head for the door. "Be careful, dude."

"Yeah."

By the time that you actually walk out of the door to the building, you still don't know what you're going to say to the guy. He hasn't moved in the time it took you to get down here, but he's focused on you from the moment you walk out the door. A normal person might not be able to tell, but you know his body language as well as you know your own—the slight shift to make it look like he's still looking up, that tiny change in expression as he gets a look at something he doesn't totally understand.

God, this is weird as hell.

"Yo." And he's the first one to speak, which isn't ideal. He straightens up to give himself that extra two inches of height, and you catch the minute look of surprise on his face as that just brings him to precisely as tall as you.

"Hey. You know who I am?"

He shrugs, offering you an easy grin. Okay, he's definitely more charming than you're ever going to manage; if you didn't know how upset Dave was, you might not sense anything off about him at all. "You look a hell of a lot like a baby version of me, so I'm gonna go with the 'weird universe shit' option."

"Close enough. Come on. We're going to go for a walk."

He probably thinks you don't catch that flash of anger.

"What, you trying to let the kid slip out without me seeing him?" He cocks his head, crossing his arms. "Could've told him I'll just pick him up again later—"

"Dave's not going anywhere, don't worry." You actually just wanted to be somewhere Dave couldn't see, in case this does escalate. Although you probably would've told him to leave while you were talking, if you'd thought of it. "And no, you're not picking him up later. He doesn't want anything to do with you. Not that I blame him."

"Fuck, dude. You're gonna try and tell me whether I can or can't talk to my lil' bro?" Okay, he's not even trying to hide any of the threatening body language—do you do that when you're pissed? "I could—"

Your sword's in your hand before he can finish that sentence, and he grunts as you slam him up against the wall and press the blade flat against his throat, just hard enough that he shuts up. "No," you tell him, and you're mildly proud of the fact that your voice stays level and calm, "you really couldn't."

Bastard isn't going to show you any fear, though. You'll give him that much. Even though you know he's got to be in a good bit of discomfort (if not outright pain) he's still smiling. That expression's gone more than a little dangerous, though. "Back off, kid."

"One? Make me. Two—" You grab his wrist as he snaps his hand up to try and hit you in the side of your head, twisting until he hisses in pain and pressing the katana harder against his throat with your other hand. "You don't get to call me kid."

The whole concept of you almost being him is actually sinking in now that you proved that you think like he does. Maybe the possibility that you're not really all that opposed to the idea of hurting him is also making an impact, because his face goes blank and he goes completely still for a second. Then he slowly raises his hands, not bothering to put on another smile. "Okay, okay. Fucking chill, dude." This close to him, you can just barely see the amber shadow of his eyes, even through his shades and yours. He blinks twice, too fast to be as calm as he seems, before continuing. "Want to elaborate on what you want from me, maybe?"

Oh, god, time to try and act like you have any percentage of a plan whatsoever. "You're going to stay away from Dave." You ease up with the pressure on the sword over his throat, then step back and put your sword away.

There's a thin red line across his neck—he winces just a bit when he reaches up to rub at it. When it smears, he frowns at the red on his fingers before looking back up at you. "He's my goddamn brother, asshole—"

"Yeah, and you had him for thirteen fucking years." Take another step back. You can't actually strangle him, as much as you want to. "And it's been—what, at least ten years since he's had the bad luck to have to see you?—and he's still not over what you did to him."

"I did what I had to do to make sure he'd survive—"

"You fucked him up in more ways than I feel like listing right now." It's really good looks can't kill, because he's trying really damn hard right now. You're almost sure he doesn't have a sword. He'd be trying to put it through your chest if he did.

"I fucking died for that kid," he growls, and you get the feeling that that's one of his trump cards.

The look that he gives you when you laugh is unguarded and purely baffled. "So fucking what? You're not dead now, he wasn't even the one to kill you."

"I—"

"Everyone died. Everyone fucking died. Doesn't make you special. Maybe you died for Dave, maybe not, I don't care. It doesn't make up for hurting him, and no one around here wants anything to do with you, either way."

"He can tell me that himself."

"Dude, you better hope he doesn't, because if I find out you tried to talk to him, got near him at all, your life expectancy is about as long as it takes me to find you and put a sword through your heart. Again."

Before he even opens his mouth you know he's going to argue one of two points here: either your physical or mental ability to follow through on that threat. He goes with the latter. "You really think you can handle murdering yourself, kid?" He tilts his head enough to look at you over the top of his shades, orange eyes going narrow.

They widen again pretty quick when you draw your katana with a motion you know he can't track. This probably makes you a horrible person, but you can feel yourself smiling as he tries to back up despite the fact that his back's already against the wall. "The fact that you think that'd even make me hesitate just goes to show we're definitely not the same person."

No sound comes out, but his mouth shapes the word "fuck."

"You're going to walk away now." You don't move to let him leave, though. Not yet. "You're going to get at least a couple hundred miles away from here—shouldn't be that hard, find a fucking bus and tell the driver Dirk Strider said you needed a free ride. It's not all that hard to figure out how to contact me if they don't believe you." You're setting yourself up for more phone calls. God, you hate that, but it's necessary in this instance. "If you fuck with anybody, I show up. If you try to keep tabs on Dave, I show up. You really don't want me to show up."

"Fucking bitch," he spits at you. Wow. You don't think you've ever seen such an expression of fury on a human's face. Trolls yes, cherubs maybe, but goddamn that's ugly on him.

"Yeah, maybe. But don't try and fool yourself into thinking that I'm a dumb bitch. You fuck with Dave, with anybody, and I'm going to know." The first thing you're going to be doing when you're done with this is to message Hal, in fact. Tell him he needs to add one more person to the list of those he keeps tabs on. "Look at me and tell me you don't believe that." And you take a step back and stare at him, not raising your katana but not putting it away either.

He does look at you. For what seems to be a long time. Long enough for you to start wondering if he's going to attack you. You can handle him if he does, but you still hope he doesn't. Dave's probably still watching from the window, he doesn't need to see that.

In the end, though, it doesn't come to that. Dave's bro snarls wordlessly at you, shoulders you aside, and just keeps walking. Thank fucking god. And you put your sword away and head back to the side of the street that you belong on.

Dave's still looking out the window when you get up to your apartment, but he turns around when you open the door. He's got an almost pathetic look of relief on his face. You have to force yourself not to tense, because he immediately heads for you...and he's still got his own sword in his hand.

Yes, you know he's not going to hurt you, but you're more keyed-up than you'd like to admit. "Okay, not to be an asshole, but I'm going to rule this apartment a no-weapons area. For right now, at least."

"What—" Dave looks confused for a second, then shakes his head, captchas his sword, and closes the distance between you. "Fuck, man, sorry—you okay? And don't you fucking dare tell me nothing happened, I could see—"

"Nothing did happen, I swear." He isn't touching you, and he probably isn't going to, but you hold out your hands so he can see that you don't have a single mark on you. "We talked. He's gone. He not coming back, but if he does you call me and I'll make sure he goes away for good, okay?"

"...yeah. Yeah." Dave laughs, and it doesn't sound as strained or shaky as it did before. "God, I feel like a lame piece of shit now, though...you sure you're okay?"

"One, you're not a lame piece of shit, I just know what buttons to press to deal with that asshole. Mine are almost the same as his, after all." Dave opens his mouth to argue that point, but closes it again when you frown at him. "Two, I'm probably more okay than you are right now. You want me to walk home with you?"

He has to think about it for a minute before he nods. "Yeah. That'd be good. You want to stay over for dinner as payment for this shit?"

"As long as neither you nor Karkat makes it by yourself, hell yeah I do."

Dave grins and shoves you out the door, and as you head for the elevator you're already composing an email for Hal. Might as well cover all possible bases, keep your bro as safe as you can. Especially from shit like this.

[anitta-doyxsxvrlx]

Story Time

So I’ve been single for almost 2 months now. And in that short period of time, may nakausap na ko na like 6 guys. Omg ang landi ko pala. Pero usap lang yun. AND I WAS FAITHFUL AND LOYAL WHEN I WAS STILL IN A RELATIONSHIP. I didn’t cheat nor entertain any guys kahit dami temptations. 

So first guy, A, okay naman kaso nakakapressure kasi mayaman masyado si koya mo, naiintimidate ako, and medyo straightforward. So ekis. Ayaw ko na, mga 8 times ako ininvite makipag date pero knowing me, hello si steve lang ang lalaking kaya kong i-date. Medyo manyak din. So boy bye.

Second guy, K, unang usap pa lang alam ko ng di ko siya type, and alam kong type niya ko slight but friendzone kasi mas okay maging tropa. Sobrang kalog lang din kausap but ayun walang chance. Sakanya ko din nashare si steve. Taga advise ko si koya mo kaya siguro naging aports kami.

Third guy, another A, well to be honest siya yung medyo may potential, kaso mas bata sakin, but okay naman siya, maganda work, funny, gentleman, and muntik ko i-date. But day before, nagback-out ako and sabi ko na mas okay na wag na kami mag-usap. Akala ko kasi kaya ko makipag date, hanggang usap lang pala talaga ako. Pero never give up si kuya. Hindi naman daw siya nag eexpect sakin bilang alam niyang galing ako sa breakup. 

And si fourth guy, Q, well, ewan ko dito, pasulpot sulpot. Nung una nagdadrama lang sakin then bigla nagyayabang na and nagpapa-impress. Pag pumunta daw ako sa cebu dadalhin ako sa mga favorite spots niya. Awow. Ekis sakin to. Sobrang ekis. Jowa ng dating kabit ng jowa ko. Ano to exchange gift? Di ka uubra sakin man. Ewan ko if gusto mo lang gumanti or umaawra ka talaga sakin. But i won’t stoop down to that level. And feel ko magagalit si steve. Awow talagang naisip ko pa yun. 

Fifth guy, another A na naman, well, i dont like this guy. This guy used to be a fubu of a very close friend of mine and suddenly showing interest in me. Di ko masyado kinakausap kasi makulit. And sinabi ko agad na i dont like him because a friend of mine likes him. But boy, makulit. He won’t stop. I told him na we’re better as friends since okay naman siya kausap.

And sixth, guy well it lasted for like 20 minutes only, dati ko pa siya kilala, common friend, nameet ko na rin sa gatherings before but never ko pinansin because again, IM LOYAL AND FAITHFUL. And habang kausap ko, gago smol world, may tropa siya na tropa ni steve. Kaya ayun ayaw ko na pala. 

Meron pa palang pang number 7, but he never messaged me. He just keeps on viewing my story, another friend of a friend, na gusto daw ako. But hindi ko bet, but he seems like a good guy. But still a no for me. 

So yup, that’s it. Ang kalandian ko in two months. But feel ko bored lang ako talaga kaya ko din sila kinausap. Pag nafifeel ko ng bet ako, ayaw ko na pala. Kasi at the end of the day, alam ko pa rin sa sarili ko kung sino pa rin yung gusto ko. And i remember na ever since ganito na rin naman talaga ako, si steve lang yung super matyaga sakin na andyan pa din kahit na sabihin kong wag muna kami mag-usap kasi naiirita or naiilang ako. So siguro tatanda na lang ako dalaga kakaganito ko. So yeah, this is me ending my year not talking to any guys anymore. Malandi ba ko, hmn i dont think so, first single naman ako. Siguro medyo paasa which is bad, but i don’t think na malandi ako. Siguro ngayon ko na lang din kasi nafeel na may mga nagkakagusto pa palang iba sakin. Ngayon na lang din may ibang guys na nagbigay ng attention sakin. Sa una lang masaya. Mas gusto ko pa din si Steve talaga. 

Dati I used to wonder, kung hindi kami nagbreak, if manghihinayang ba ko na di ako nakatry or di lumandi sa ibang guys, curiosity lang ba, pero now na naexperience ko na, sobrang okay na pala nung meron ako kay Steve, kasi lahat naman nag sisimula sa kilig, pero yung relationship ko sakanya was totally different. Hindi lang kilig, he knows me. He knows how to handle me. I don’t think i can open up to anyone in that way ever again. Gago kasi eh, niloko ako. Di ko alam kung hindi na ba ako mahal, oh baka nacurious lang din sa bagong napafeel sakanya ng ibang tao. I guess i’ll never know. 

[hummusandtomatoes]

i am in my third year of high school and i have no friends. i use to have this group of friends but they really really hate me now because ??? i am not sure why. and maybe it's because i am a shitty person but i don't know how i am going to get through my last two years. any advice (sorry if i sound pathetic)

mate. i do have advice. im literally planning an advice video on almost this exact thing right now as i’m reading this message i have a notepad out and EVERYTHIN. if u have any specific things u want me to talk abt then let me know 

(I totally feel u. i had a group of friends decide they hated me right at the start of sixth form because they knew i was friends with someone they didn’t like, i had 2 friends at school, one of them I had no classes with and never saw, and the other one moved schools without telling me at the beginning of the last academic year so I spent all of year 13 completely friendless i GET you and im tellin ya now that it’s gunna be alright) 

[taegijae-blog]

BREAKFAST DELIVERY 9

pairing: 2jae

genre: fluff, if you squint there’s angst

word count: 2k

description: the school’s hottest boy im jaebum wants to get a certain boy’s number.  but the first problem is: he’s unhappy and not eating.

status: completed

note: this was originally posted on wakaba’s wattpad @/jaeholics

| part 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 |

Youngjae brought a clean thermos and a confused heart to school next day.

He wanted to return it to its rightful owner, and as much as he wanted to leave it for his anonymous food giver, the label on the thermos told him otherwise.

It couldn't be Park Jinyoung, could it?

He hoped it wasn't.

He walked around throughout the halls, searching for the person with big ears and a constant judgmental look on his face.

And there he was, talking about something to a girl.

Youngjae rushed up to him and held the bag like a bunny, nervously blinking. He stopped his conversation with his hands mid-air, staring at the younger.

"Um... I think this is yours," he said quietly, handing over the bag. Jinyoung blinked.

"That's the bag Jaebum asked me to give you, though," he said with a growing frown, taking the bag and looking at its contents. He ignored the expression on Youngjae that was becoming a mixture of confused and terrified. Taking out the thermos, he scowled. "The hell? This is my thermos."

Jinyoung then glared back Youngjae, who was cowering with every passing second that he was being stared down at. "You ate out of this?" He scoffed and took only the thermos, shoving the rest back into the bag.

"Gross."

He walked away from him, the girl clinging next to him.

🍽

The lunch bell rang.

Jaebum strolled down the hall to reach the cafeteria after rejecting a few girls' offers to eat together. As he was passing by the empty algebra classroom, a hand reached out and pulled him through the open doorway.

It was Youngjae who seemed to be on the verge of tears.

"Y... you okay-"

"Are you trying to mess with me?!" Youngjae almost screamed out. Luckily, the hallway was empty so no one heard him. "Are you doing this just for your own entertainment?!"

Jaebum was absolutely confused until Youngjae showed him the bag that was missing a thermos. He cursed under his breath and raised his hands, trying to calm the other down. "hey, listen-"

"You enjoy making a joke out of people's happiness and then crushing it, don't you, Im Jaebum?" Youngjae's voice grew quieter, but the rage was still there. His voice cracked near the end of his words, evidence that he was just about to cry.

The room was dark without the lights on, but Jaebum could still see the sadness painted on Youngjae's face. The younger sniffled and stared at the floor.

"I don't want your pity. I don't want you to even acknowledge me because you make me uselessly happy about things that turned out weren't even real," Youngjae said shakily, his arms and shoulders trembling. The amount of sniffling coming from him grew. "I know... that you think I'm disgusting. Just like your friend Park Jinyoung."

In Jaebum's eyes was a sudden sparkle.

Youngjae threw the bag at Jaebum and wiped his eyes with his sweater's sleeves. "Leave me alone and don't ever talk to me again.

...I hate you."

Youngjae rushed out the room, stumbling into the doorway as he did so.

Sliding down against the wall, Jaebum held his face with a long, exhausted sigh.

🍽

"What have you done to our Jaejae?!"

"Yeah! You better tell us or else we'll beat you up!!"

Kim Yugyeom and Kunpimook Bhuwakul assumed wide stances in front of Jaebum's gang, holding chopsticks as weapons.

Jackson Wang coughed.

Jinyoung stood from his seat and pulled the depressed-looking Jaebum up with him.

"Come here. We're gonna talk."

Mark and Jackson watched as their friend was pulled away in silence. They turned back to the two sophomores, who were still in the ready-to-fight stance.

"We know martial arts," Mark said with an arm around Jackson's shoulders.

"Never mind," BamBam quickly said as they both turned around and returned to their table where the unresponsive Youngjae sat. "Hyung, we'll make sure those jerks never hurt you again, okay?"

"Yeah!" Yugyeom agreed, rubbing Youngjae's back. "They can't do whatever they want to just because they're seniors!"

"Be quiet," Youngjae muttered, voice muffled since his face was on the table and covered by his arms.

🍽

"Jinyoung," Jaebum glared at his friend sternly once the two were in an empty area. "What the fuck did you say to Youngjae?"

"Listen, Bum," Jinyoung replied while rolling his eyes, arms crossed over his chest, "you never told me that you'd be using my thermos for that."

"He told me that you said he was disgusting!" Jaebum eventually yelled, his patience running out. "Why are you being rude to him, anyway?"

"'Rude'? I was the one who told you he was being cornered by those girls. I was the one who found him after getting kicked and told you to come. I was the one who gave him that bag. It's always been me caught in your stupid little love chase after him," Jinyoung said with a sneer, narrowing his eyes at the other. "Don't you even understand how I feel? Did you ever consider what this is all doing to me?"

Veins in Jaebum's neck popped up as his anger grew. "This isn't about you! You just happened to—"

"I've liked you since sixth grade."

Jinyoung stuffed his hands into his pockets as he watched Jaebum fall silent. there were glimpses of disappointment in his eyes, along with sadness.

"Yeah. Exactly. You never knew that, did you?" Jinyoung quietly asked, stepping away from the person he wasn't sure he could consider his friend anymore.

Jaebum paused before slamming his foot into a nearby door.

He screamed out of fury at himself.

i just wanted you to know that my feelings for you are genuine. nothing that i have done, or said on these notecards are lies. Crumbling up the piece of paper in one hand, Youngjae raised his other arm. "May I go to the infirmary?" "Sure." He grabbed his belongings and headed out the classroom, eyeing the empty desk of Im Jaebum. With a sigh, he took out his phone and started texting someone. ???-hyung

[c.youngjae]: hey [c.youngjae]: hyung [c.youngjae]: are you busy? [c.youngjae]: i want to talk for a bit [c.youngjae]: i'm, [c.youngjae]: there're a lot of things on my mind

Youngjae headed down the stairs, searching for the large room known as the auditorium. He knew it was rarely used unless the band or orchestra was planning to have a concert in the near future, anyway. Avoiding the gazes of any teachers that were walking by, he led himself down the path that would take him to the outside of the auditorium. On some of the soft, freshly mown grass, he sat down and shakily exhaled.

His phone buzzed.

1 new message from: ???-hyung

[???]: i'm here

Youngjae sat with his knees up close to his chest, typing away with his thumbs. 

???-hyung

[c.youngjae]: i think my biggest fear ever just came true

[c.youngjae]: the guy that was giving me food

[c.youngjae]: it turned out to be im jaebum. the popular guy.

[c.youngjae]: i was just...

[c.youngjae]: so incredibly mad

[c.youngjae]: bc his friend, someone called park jinyoung personally called me ‘gross’

[c.youngjae]: i couldnt help but think about how hes been doing all this for his own entertainment...

[c.youngjae]: so i yelled at him

[c.youngjae]: and even though i know im angry at him for being a total jerk, smth about him makes me want to forgive him

[c.youngjae]: because despite all that,

[c.youngjae]: he's been a sweetheart to me

[c.youngjae]: ...and i kinda didnt listen to what he had to say

Youngjae shut off his phone with a sigh, tilting his head up to glance at the sky. the clouds that swirled around and restricted any blue from showing were dark. His phone vibrated in his hand so he unlocked it, checking the new messages he received.

???-hyung

[???]: you didnt hear him out, huh?

[???]: i think you should.

[???]: you never know what mightve been going on in his mind.

[???]: are you skipping class?

[c.youngjae]: yeah

[c.youngjae]: i'm sitting outside our school's auditorium

[???]: outside?

[???]: i hope it isnt cold.

[???]: its supposed to rain soon

[???]: do you have an umbrella?

[c.youngjae]: no

[c.youngjae]: i'll be fine

[???]: ...if you say so

Youngjae sighed once again and rubbed his eyes. He felt exhausted and didn't want to see anyone for the rest of the day. his teachers, classmates, even friends...

But the face of mysterious, sunglasses wearing 'Def Soul' would appear in his thoughts.

That was always something strange. Whenever he was down, he realized, he would either think about that person or directly text him. Before his two best friends, BamBam and Yugyeom, would come Def Soul.

What was wrong with him?

The clouds dropped bits of rain as his eyes dropped some tears down his face. Youngjae felt sad, but his body was too numb to be expressing any of those emotions. His phone slipped from his hand and fell onto the grass while his head leaned back. He opened his mouth and ate a few droplets of rain, hugging his knees closer to himself.

He wanted to stay like that until it was night, when no one could see him.

Footsteps along the pavement were getting closer to Youngjae.

"I'm sorry," a voice from behind him said sullenly, the footsteps stopping once close enough to Youngjae. He didn't bother looking at who it was because he just knew by that voice.

"'Sorry' is just a word," Youngjae replied, a tone of ruefulness in his quiet words. The sound of some wires and cloth shifted around behind him, and suddenly the rain stopped falling on his head. He tilted his chin up slowly to be met with the sight of Jaebum holding an umbrella over him.

"I never meant to hurt you," Jaebum practically whispered, crouching down to his knees while still holding the umbrella for the other. As much as he didn't want to admit it, Youngjae could see the genuinely apologetic expression the elder had on his typically flirtatious face.

Shaking his head slightly, Youngjae glanced straight ahead as he hugged his knees even closer. The wind became a bit stronger and he found it to be rather chilly.

Youngjae choked on a few of his tears as he replied, "I know."

Reaching his arm out, Jaebum used his hand to hold onto Youngjae's chin and pull his head to his direction so the two would face each other. The younger seemed so drunk in his thoughts that he didn't do anything in retaliation; he only stared at Jaebum in a way that the upperclassman found to be extra gorgeous.

"I like you, Youngjae... a lot," Jaebum murmured as he leaned closer in order to place his lips on the other's. Both shut their eyes in the process, holding the kiss in a long, gentle moment. The umbrella in Jaebum's free hand fell onto the grass as it crawled its way over to Youngjae's own hand, entwining their fingers together.

His tears tasted sweet.

Once the two slowly separated their mouths, Youngjae started to bawl. His body gave up its strength and plopped backwards into Jaebum's torso as his shoulders trembled while he sobbed.

Jaebum properly sat on the ground and wrapped his arms around Youngjae's body, holding him close.

"I'll never forgive you," Youngjae cried between his sobbing, gripping tightly on one of the elder's hands. His head was resting against Jaebum's chest and his eyes were glanced up, squinting at him, although his vision was blurry due to the tears. "I'll never forgive you for playing with my emotions like this."

"Baby..." Jaebum muttered as he stuffed his face into the other's cold neck, but to his horror, a hand met his cheek harshly in the form of a slap. He rubbed his cheek, staring at the crying mess that was Choi Youngjae.

"Don't call me that, ever." he coughed, choking on some more tears. "Forget that I even kissed you."

He threw on his backpack and sprinted away, leaving Jaebum alone and in grief once again.

Clutching his face, he screamed into his palm.

"What have I done wrong?"

And why was he losing everything he cared for?

[lunarmoonacnh]

i was tagged by the amazing @unhugme

Rules: Once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. At the end, choose 25 people to tag!

THE LAST… 1. Drink: diet coke

2. Phone call: my mum

3. Text message: my best friend telling him goodnight 

4. Song you listened to: Michael Jackson - Pretty Young Thing bc it was on the radio 

5. Time you cried: like last night or the night before coz it was 2am and life

HAVE YOU EVER… 6. Dated someone twice: ive barely even dated someone once lmao

7. Been cheated on: yup...

8. Kissed someone and regretted it: no i dont think so

9. Lost someone special: yes, my great grandpa

10. Been depressed: yes, im currently seeing a therapist 

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: yes! every time i drink unless its wine, for some reason wine doesnt make me sick. i think its because i once totally over did it on spirits and cider so not they just taste like the time i almost died and my body cant take it

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLORS:

12. grey

13. mint green

14. blush pink

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU… 15. Made new friends: yes, i started college so i made new irl friends because of that and i have also mad new internet friends through this blog 

16. Fallen out of love: kinda, depends how you look at it. i didnt know i had fallen out of love until the relationship had ended and i didnt feel as sad as i thought i would

17. Laughed until you cried: always, when i’m with my friends all i do is cry laugh 

18. Found out someone was talking about you: yes, it happens a lot, sometimes negative and sometimes positive 

19. Met someone who changed you: yes, for good and bad. 

20. Found out who your true friends are: yes, once i left school i knew who my real friends are because they are the ones who kept in touch and the ones who didnt do other things that they knew would hurt me

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: yess

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: most, i dont know them all personally but i know of them all, no strangers for me

23. Do you have any pets: not at my house but we are getting our little puppy Sully in 14 days. i do have a cat and a dog at my dads house but i very rarely go visit 

24. Do you want to change your name: no, i used to want to when i was a kid because i used to get bullied because i had a ‘boys’ name (Billie) but now i like it because its unique  

25. What did you do for your last birthday: met my friends that i met on the internet that are now irl friends for a meal and to go shopping. we went for pizza and bowling and then shopping before they had to leave again:(

26. What time did you wake up: usually between 8am and 9am without an alarm 

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: i think i was actually sleeping for once if not i was watching youtube videos

28. Name something you cannot wait for: to get my puppy and to meet up with and have a party with my internet/irl friends again in summer

29. When was the last time you saw your mother: like 15 minuets ago befroe i came upstairs to do this

30. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: i wish i could control my anxiety and depression or even not have it at all. i also wish my dad would pay me more attention and want to see me more because i miss him and its almost like he forgets i was his first kind before he mt his new wife

31. What are you listening to right now: the 1975

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: i mean i have a cousin name Thomas? but never someone just called Tom without it being shortened 

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: life? no but like the fact that im not allowing myself to do the things i want to do out of pure fear

34. Most visited website: Tumblr of course... it is never off my browser 

35. Elementary: ive honestly never wanted to go back to a time in my life more than i want to go back to elementary/primary school 

36. High School: no thanks to that. i wish i could have been one of the people that called it the best years of their lives not 5 years of asshole bullying me 

37. College/university: im commenting on this as England college (16-18 year olds) and ive just dropped out of one part (sixth from) where i was taking 3 subjects Media studies and Film studies which i loved and will miss and Psychology wich i did love but wont miss because i couldnt do it and it made my anxiety sky rocket. in september i start a makeup course and i am so excieted to be a qualified makeup artist this time next year

38. Hair colour: mousy brown

39. Long or short hair: long, like almost to my butt long (yes its natural)

40. Do you have a crush on someone: yes, but i could never pursue it bc he is my friend and i wouldnt want to ruin that. ive made that mistake with my ex.

41. What do you like about yourself: my eyes. they are grey and kinda ombre like they hae a really dark ring on the outside and they get lighter closer to my pupil

42. Piercings: yes, my first and second lobes on both ears, my helix and forward helix on my left ear. half way up my ear and my rook on my right ear and then my nose 

43. Blood type: i have no idea, do people actually know this?

44. Nickname: Bil and B although i dont like B (pronounced like Bee) but its what my cousins have called my since i was really small so it doesnt bother me that much with them 

45. Relationship status: extremely single

46. Zodiac sign: Aquarius 

47. Pronouns: she/her

48. Favourite TV show: pretty little liars, it has just finished and now i am re watching it to find clues about A that i missed 

49. Tattoos: no, but i have a couple planned 

50. Right or left hand: right

FIRST… 51. Surgery: teeth removed they are the only ops ive ever had and will ever have to have touch wood

52. Piercing: ears

54. Sport: i danced as a majorette does that count?

55. Vacation: i honestly have no idea, i think i went to Devon though (its a place in the UK) all i know is my first holiday was during 9/11 

56. Pair of trainers: probably like Nike Airs or something Adidas i have no idea 

57. Eating: i actually know this bc my older cousin fed me a wham bar (a british, i think, chewy candy thing) when i was 3 week old, so i could have died the ifrst time i hate lmao

58. Drinking: i was 14, i know i shouldnt have been drinking because my mum made me promise her i wouldnt, but i remember being so drunk (idk if it was real or faked tbh) on alcopop thats right 4% alcohol and i probs had like 3 

59. I’m about to: go get my cousins baby off his Nan so she can get his older brother from nursery

60. Listening to: idk if this is like asking the same as earlier? coz if so t]still the 1975

61. Waiting for: my friend to reply to me an tell me when he is taking me for coffee 

62. Want: my dog

63. Get married: probs idk

64. Career: i dont have one rn but hopefully a makeup artist

YOUR TYPE… 65. Hugs or kisses: rn hugs i need to hug someone while i fall to sleep so bad its been so long 

66. Lips or eyes: eyes

67. Shorter or taller: taller bc im also tall so i need someone taller than me (i dont need but i like a partner to be tall)

68. Older or younger: older, people y age are immature so any younger and i may as well spend my time with a 10 year old

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: i dont mind tbh

71. Sensitive or loud: both? not too loud though ya girl has sensitive ears 

72. Hook up or relationship: relationship, im demisexual (it took me 17 years to figure that out) so hook ups aren’t my thing

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: it depends because i tend to be the cause of arguments and things because im honest but im not out there to cause trouble i just dont like to lie

HAVE YOU EVER… 74. Kissed a stranger?: no

75. Drank hard liquor?: yes, dont do it, its bad kids

76. Lost glasses contact/lenses: yes, i lose my glasses all the goddamn time

77. Turned someone down: yes, i always feel bad but you cant force feelings

78. Sex on first date: nope

79. Broken someone’s heart: not that i know of, i doubt it though

80. Had your heart broken: yes, again not fun

81. Been arrested: nooo

82. Cried when someone died: yes

83. Fallen for a friend: yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN… 84. Yourself: not always

85. Miracles: yes, the baby i spoke about earlier? yeah hes my miracle, he was born with a new strain of meningitis, he has had 3 lots of brain surgery (at a week old) and the doctors said it was a very low chance he would survive. he did 3 times. his heart also stopped 3 times, again he is here. he also had multiple surgeries on his joints, we got told he wouldnt walk but here he is at 16 months running around like a crazy person and loving life with his older brother  

86. Love at first sight: i mean no, how can you fall in love with someone based off their face (no matter how many cute people you see on the street that you think you love, you probably dont)

87. Santa Claus: hes real in my house

88. Kiss on the first date: ive never been on a proper date so

89. Angels: yeah, i really love t believe in thse things because its cute

OTHER… 90. Current best friend’s name: im not saying their name coz idk if thats a good idea tbh

91. Eye colour: greyyy

92. Favourite movie: Tim Burtons Alice in Wonderland i just love his aesthetic and the story of Alice so put them together and you have a winner

ok i dont have 25 people to tag but i do tag @theflowerkingdom @kinkylildanny @creepyphantasia @imjustacanforallthephantrash and @dead-nightingale 

if you are reading this and you want to do it, go for it and just say i tagged you!

[rickhorrow]

15+5+5 TO WATCH 2419

15 TO WATCH/5 SPORTS TECH/POWER OF SPORTS 5: RICK HORROW’S TOP SPORTS/BIZ/TECH/PHILANTHROPY ISSUES FOR THE WEEK OF FEBRUARY 4: with Jacob Aere

As the Patriots met a milestone by winning their sixth NFL title, the NFL opened the doors to NFL100 at Super Bowl LIII on Sunday in a move to commemorate its centennial season. The league’s year-long initiative is designed to “bring generations of football fans, players, communities, and all 32 clubs together for a unique line-up of programming and activities,” according to SportsBusiness Journal. Fittingly, the campaign opened during Super Bowl LIII with "The 100-Year Game," a commercial that aired shortly before halftime and offered tribute to the iconic moments, players, and images from the NFL, both past and present. The NFL’s centennial celebration will formally kick off during the NFL Draft and will build up leading up to the first game of the 100th season at NFL Kickoff 2019. The NFL100 celebration will sustain throughout the season and will culminate at Super Bowl LIV on February 2, 2020, in Miami. Football fans can only hope that the game on the field at Hard Rock Stadium in a year’s time is better than the snooze fest served up in Atlanta. The lowest-scoring Super Bowl ever will no doubt produce “low for the Super Bowl” ratings come Monday.

The NFL kicked off a year's worth of celebrations for its 100th season with an epic Super Bowl ad. The NFL itself "always has an ad" in the Super Bowl, AdWeek notes, and this year sees "history and humor play crucial roles in the ad." The 100th anniversary commercial "poses the question: What would happen if a football game broke out in the middle of a banquet celebrating 100 seasons of the NFL?" The spot featured a "who's who of NFL greats," and rising stars, including Joe Montana, Jerry Rice, Franco Harris, Peyton Manning, Tom Brady, Baker Mayfield, and Patrick Mahomes. All told, the ad showcased more than 50 current and former NFL players, including 19 Hall of Famers and a total of 53 Super Bowl rings. The theme of the ad is to "begin celebrations" for the 100th season, but "subtler but equally essential messages" are also woven into the spot. The ad is an "effort to appeal more directly to women and to a younger demographic." The Hollywood Reporter noted the NFL100 celebration will be "promoted during offseason events" such as the NFL Combine, NFL Draft, and HOF induction ceremony, and this delightful ad should do well all year, as it’s impossible to identify all the greats in one viewing.

Next up, South Florida. Super Bowl bids can cost a host city as much as $70 million, yet the “competition to host one [remains] significant.” In fact, the Atlanta Journal Constitution reported that the city of Atlanta volunteered to provide “enhancements” including $2 million for game expenses and $375,000 for a media party on top of the NFL’s lengthy list of demands. Atlanta’s bid, valued at $46 million, provided for local law enforcement, hotel rooms, promotion, insurance, and décor. Costs associated with the use of Mercedes Benz Stadium, team practice sites, venues for ancillary events. and 10,000 parking spots were also covered by the city. Atlanta’s bid will be covered by a mix of public and private money. Two local businesses donated $20 million, $16 million will come from the city’s designated hotel-motel tax fund (designed to draw marquee events), and the remaining $10 million comes in the way of a sales tax exemption on tickets. The Atlanta host committee has estimated that this year’s game would bring $185 million to the region, a far more realistic (and obtainable) figure than the $450 million Minneapolis claims to have generated in 2018. South Florida, Tampa Bay, Los Angeles, Arizona, and New Orleans will host the next five Super Bowls; expect Las Vegas to get a game over the next decade as well.

The NFL avoiding a work stoppage in 2021 could "depend on whether players can secure more guaranteed money" in the next CBA, according to the Associated Press. The current CBA expires in a little more than two years, and some players are "already expecting a lockout that could be even worse than the one that lasted 132 days" in 2011. The push for more guaranteed money across the life of contracts has "slowly picked up steam" over the past few years. The AP noted another feature of the current CBA, the minimum salary benefit, puts veteran players on "equal footing with younger players in regard to the salary cap." However, average experience over the last 14 years has been on a "fairly steady decline," meaning the clause "only served to widen the gap between high-profile players with leverage and those without it." NFLPA President Eric Winston said that the "best way to ensure more guaranteed money for players is to get them to free agency sooner." Most current NFL rookies are not eligible for a new contract until they have played four years –approximately the length of an average NFL career.

An IEG research report stated that total sponsorship spending on the NFL and its 32 teams grew 5.1% to $1.39 billion in the 2018-2019 season, driven by a spate of new league-wide sponsorships including Intuit, McDonald's, Pizza Hut, and Sleep Number. Also contributing to this sum was a major spike in the casino/gaming category including the NFL’s recently-announced deal with Caesar's Entertainment. From a category perspective, beer companies were the biggest NFL investors, spending 4.3 times more than any other category. The most invested brands were Ticketmaster, inking sponsorships with 100% of NFL properties and Budweiser/Bud Light at 88% of the league. Gatorade, Microsoft, and Bose also had deals with over 70% of the league. Last week, VISA renewed its deal with the NFL to serve as the league's official payment services technology partner through 2025. VISA has been an NFL partner for more than 24 years. Moving forward, VISA will collaborate with the league to make all NFL events cashless, including the Super Bowl.

RISE – the Ross Initiative in Sports for Equality – held a number of events in Atlanta last week, including youth events and an exhibit at the NFL Experience called “Champions of Change.” RISE board member Paul Tagliabue and new CEO Diahann Billings-Burford told assembled media on Thursday their efforts are part of a mission to be more proactive. “Our focus is how to keep RISE on our mission of educating the sports community and empowering sports leaders to address racism to make our country better,” Billings-Burford said. RISE worked with the Rams and Dolphins this season on community-based efforts around racism, and both Tagliabue and Billings-Burford noted the success of “RISE With the Rams,” a 10-week program focused around two vastly different high schools in Southern California. RISE executives view their work as complementary and additive to that of the NFL Players Coalition, which also held signature events in Atlanta over Super Bowl week.

Digital financial services brand Gainbridge, part of Group1001, has signed on as presenting sponsor of the Indianapolis 500, replacing PennGrade Motor Oil. Financial terms were not disclosed for the four-year deal, but a source said the pact is worth more than the PennGrade partnership, which was $1-1.5 million annually over three years. Assets include signage and hospitality, and Gainbridge will purchase a season-long media buy with NBC Sports. The Gainbridge brand was launched last week by parent company Group1001, an Indianapolis-based insurance and financial services company that comprises four brands. Group1001 also sponsors the Indy Women in Tech LPGA event at IMS and serves as a primary sponsor for Andretti Autosport and driver Zach Veach, a Group1001 brand ambassador. The company is also in its third year of a presenting sponsorship for the monthly “Power of Sports” program, carried by Fox Sports regional networks nationwide and spotlighting Washington, DC in its latest episode debuting this week.

The Daytona 500 is almost here, and NASCAR is getting in gear. NASCAR Racing Experience has entered into a multi-year partnership to serve as the title sponsor for the NASCAR Xfinity Series season opener at Daytona International Speedway (DIS). The 120-lap, 300-mile race will now be known as the NASCAR Racing Experience 300. The partnership will deliver additional ride opportunities for guests during Daytona Speedweeks Presented by AdventHealth. Gander RV, the Official RV and Outdoor Company of NASCAR, signed on to serve as the new title sponsor for the 150-mile qualifying races for the Daytona 500 at DIS, part of Daytona Speedweeks. The races will now be known as the Gander RV Duel at Daytona and take place on February 14. As part of a larger agreement with DIS, Gander RV, along with sister companies Camping World and Good Sam, will host consumer RV shows over multiple years at the DIS facilities, as well as an RV Rally in 2020. NASCAR has also announced that singer/songwriter Jake Owen will perform the Daytona 500 Pre-Race Show prior to the 61st running of “The Great American Race” February 17 on Fox.

Ahead of the 2019 racing season, NASCAR has introduced a policy that "prohibits team owners, drivers, crew members, and officials from gambling on events." According to Auto Week, NASCAR has listed penalties for betting that could include "indefinite suspension or termination and/or a fine of $150,000-$200,000." In October, Dover International Speedway became the first NASCAR track to "introduce an at-track betting service." The new policy "prohibits the equivalent to insider trading, prohibiting team owners, drivers, crew members, and series officials from disclosing confidential information for the purposes of enabling or facilitating gambling as it pertains to NASCAR events." The policy does allow NASCAR personnel to "take part in fantasy games relating to any events in which NASCAR is involved as so long as they do not accept prizes with a value in excess of $250." Like professional tennis and golf, motor sports’ individual performance format makes races more susceptible to fixing than team stick and ball sports. It’s right and appropriate that NASCAR is taking this proactive step.

Major League Baseball, Nike, and Fanatics locked in a new 10-year global partnership that designates Nike as baseball’s official uniform and footwear supplier starting next season. The agreement will provide players with uniforms developed by Nike’s team and will provide fans with the “widest assortment of MLB fan gear ever,” manufactured and distributed by Fanatics. The deal kicks launches in 2020, when Nike will be the exclusive provider of all MLB on-field uniforms, along with base layers, game-day outerwear, and training apparel for all 30 MLB clubs. Fanatics has been granted broad consumer product licensing rights to manage the manufacturing and distribution of the Nike MLB Authentic Collection, as well as Nike and Fanatics fan gear, sold through the retail community, including MLBShop.com, MLB clubs, and brick and mortar sporting goods and apparel stores. The timing is perfect for this announcement, as unbelievably, pitchers and catchers report for Spring Training next week.

The Tampa Bay Rays have become the first major North American sports team to go cashless at their home stadium. According to the MLB franchise’s official release, the changes will result in “faster moving lines and increased fan satisfaction.” The initiative will apply to purchase of tickets, food and drink, and merchandise as well as other products available at the venues. The new system will make its debut on February 9, when the ballpark hosts its annual Fan Fest. Payments will be permitted through major credit cards, official club gift cards, Apple Pay, and Samsung Pay, as well as Rays Cards, which are provided to season-ticket holders. Fans without any form of cashless payment will be able to swap cash for gift cards. The Rays aren’t alone. Rakuten announced in early January that baseball team Tohoku Rakuten and J League soccer club Vissel Kobe – both owned by the Japanese ecommerce giant  – would see their stadiums become the world’s first fully cashless sporting venues.

The Oakland A's have unveiled plans to build a gondola that would ease access to their proposed new ballpark. The A’s announced plans for a new 34,000-seater waterfront ballpark back in November, slated to open in 2023. Including the cable transport system would cost $123 million, according to team president Dave Kaval. The structure would be privately financed and would require approval from various state and local agencies. Each gondola cabin would have space for around 30 to 35 passengers. The system would connect the waterfront stadium to downtown Oakland, with each ride lasting approximately three minutes. The gondola would operate daily, with Kaval touting the system as a potential tourist attraction for the North California city. “In San Francisco, people go to ride the cable car; in Oakland, people could come to ride the gondola,” he said. “It could become that popular, from a tourist perspective.” The A’s are the latest MLB franchise to consider building a gondola to enhance their ballpark fan experience. The Dodgers and the Nationals are looking into their own gondola operations.

FIFA announces its member men's clubs spent a record $7.03 billion in 2018. FIFA has released its FIFA released its Global Transfer Market Report. The 2018 edition is the first to feature two versions: one covering men's football and the other covering women's. Key statistics from the report, according to the London Times, include spending reached a new high of $7.03 billion, 10.3% more than in 2017; a new record was set with 16,533 international transfers, 5.6% more than in 2017, involving 14,186 players of 175 different nationalities. Only 31 clubs spent more than $50 million each, but together they accounted for more than half of the $7.03 billion spent globally. Tellingly, UEFA clubs accounted for 78.2% of the entire spending, proving this region continues to flourish.

Tottenham Hotspur could make their long-awaited move to their new stadium in time to face Premier League rivals Crystal Palace on March 16. According to The Daily Mail, the London club is to continue playing at Wembley throughout February. Domestic games against Watford, Newcastle United, and Leicester City, as well as the Champions League clash with Borussia Dortmund, will all take place at Wembley, with a potential FA Cup fifth-round home tie also to be played there. Tottenham faces Arsenal on March 2, but the potential both for mayhem and a curtain-raising defeat means club officials are reportedly reluctant to sanction the traditionally rowdy North London derby as the stadium’s first game. Therefore, the Premier League clash with Palace two weeks later has emerged as the most likely candidate for the official opening of a venue that was initially scheduled to open in September 2018. Issues with the venue’s critical safety systems have led to several delays and created a backlog in scheduling necessary test events to pass inspections.

In a final nod to college football, Alex Grinch is officially the highest-paid assistant in University of Oklahoma history. The Sooners’ new defensive coordinator received a three-year deal paying him $1.4 million annually, making Grinch the first OU assistant to ever make more than $1 million per year. The salary means OU finally is paying assistants the kind of big money that has become commonplace in other parts of the country — especially the SEC. Twenty-one FBS assistants were paid at least $1 million last season, USA Today’s assistant coach salary database shows, with 10 of those making at least the $1.4 million Oklahoma will pay Grinch. Oklahoma fans grew frustrated the last few seasons, when assistant salaries didn’t seem to keep up with the Sooners’ blue-blood contemporaries. The Board of Regents also approved Head Coach Lincoln Riley’s contract extension and raise, which makes him the highest-paid coach in the Big 12. He will make an average of $6.5 million over the life of the contract, which runs through 2023. Kudos to the OU Board of Regents and Athletic Director Joe Castiglione for the bold moves, sure to delight OU fans as well as disrupt the CFP pecking order over the next few college football seasons.

Top Five Tech

In the digital age, what else could you purchase with the $5 to $5.3 million price point of running a single commercial in this year’s Super Bowl? According to Digiday, tech giant Amazon, which has been trying to grow its sports presence as of late, could offer between 6.3 to 1.3 million paid clicks on sponsored Amazon ads or 2.5 million paid clicks on Amazon search ads. For the social media behemoths, Instagram or Facebook could get you roughly 1.7 billion impressions with that kind of money, Snapchat would garner 2.5 billion impressions, and LinkedIn could offer 625 million impressions. Most notably, one would total roughly 500 million impressions on connected TV, making it roughly five times more worth your money than the traditional broadcast. Although everyone looks forward to Super Bowl Ads, it wouldn’t be too surprising to see the best commercials change their platform like many other sports that have fully transitioned to OTT services.

The sixth annual Super Bowl survey found a number of upward trends in gambling, esports, and a global push emerging around the big game. According to Business Wire, 67% of millennials are more likely to bet on the Super Bowl over any other sporting event while 58% say betting on a game affects how long they will watch. Additionally, with esports on the rise and expected to reach a $1.5 billion valuation by 2020, half of all millennials would consider watching an esports event associated with the Super Bowl. Due to changes in how the game is consumed, companies are changing how they roll out their advertisements, with Facebook (58%) and YouTube (51%) used as the primary sources for sneak peaks. Another big talking point is that overall, 50% of fans say that they would support a Super Bowl played internationally while that number rises to 71% among millennials. What this comes down to is a LOT of screens for the millennial crowd – they want to have access across multiple platforms which favors marketing for the NFL, that is, if the league can keep up with the demand.

Facebook and UEFA joined forces to deliver Champions League coverage with astounding results. According to SportsPro, more than 8.8 million people in Latin American countries have engaged with Facebook’s UEFA Champions League since the group stage coverage, as part of a partnership formed in August, 2018 between the European soccer body and the social media giant. That content from the recent Champions League has generated 1.3 million comments, as well as 10 million reactions with 71% of the demographic consuming the streamed games under the age of 35. The deal, which spans 2018-2021, sees 32 live games per year shown on the official UEFA Champions League Facebook page, with that coverage supported by Wednesday highlights and magazine programs shared each week on the platform. Although the agreement debuted with live coverage on the platform of the UEFA Super Cup, this partnership, running through 2021, is beneficial for Facebook to expand its sports broadcasting (look at MLB) and UEFA to grow its fan base with already staggering numbers in Latin America.

Zwift brings together indoor cycling and video games for a breakthrough between traditional athletics and esports. Zwift is a self-described “home training app connecting cyclists around the world” and features carbon fiber road bikes bolted into stationary trainers while digitally connected to a video game screen in front of the cyclists’ eyes. According to the Los Angeles Times, the company recently hosted a 52 person, 40 km race that featured 44 certified professional racers from around the world who were connected through a web stream. Like a standard bike race, the racers’ avatars pedaled off the start line and formed a classic peloton formation. With hundreds of thousands of cyclists already signed up for a monthly subscription of $14.99, the Long Beach company is now looking to expand deeper into esports to grow a fan base in a sport that has previously struggled to attract outsiders. With professional cyclists, a regulatory body, and a growing ecosystem of players, Zwift seems to be leading the path to bring together traditional sports with its digital counterpart.

Blue Wire has led the push for local podcasts to form a national network platform in the U.S. The startup is making its nationwide mark by hosting its multi-city sports podcast format in nine markets and 18 podcasts to date. According to Awful Announcing, Blue Wire is aiming to be “The Athletic” of podcasts, except free and with a pop culture twist. They have added established and upcoming broadcasters, former professional athletes, and beat writers to their platform. And since its launch in September, 2018, Blue Wire has increased downloads 25% month after month and recently cracked the top 100 podcast charts on iTunes with two different shows: “The Rebuild with Jordan Zirm” and “Coffee House Stunt with Ted Nguyen.” The podcast company differentiates themselves in the audio landscape with quality over quantity, and an avid social media presence – the company's 50 million combined Twitter impressions a month are nothing to be overlooked. In the near future is a multi-year major video game deal, along with expansion into three more cities next month. Tailoring a national sports podcasting network to each city gives credibility and a sense of community not unlike popular Barstool Sports podcasts.

Power of Sports Five

Jay-Z, Meek Mill, Robert Kraft, and others launch The Reform Alliance at John Jay College. According to Rolling Stone and Van Jones, the organization is dedicated to change illogical laws that rule the lives of the estimated 4.5 million Americans currently on parole or probation. The goal is to reduce the number of people affected by parole and probation law by 1 million over the next five years. Meek Mill and Fanatics founder Michael Rubin announced the formation of the organization in late January with other wealthy business and sports team owners, including Jay-Z, Kraft, Clara Wu Tsai, Daniel Loeb, and Michael Novogratz, who collectively have pledged $50 million to the effort. At the announcement, the Reform Alliance founders talked economics of the incarceration system, an argument that might appeal to fiscal conservatives hoping to reduce government spending. The Reform Alliance comes on the heels of Jay-Z reportedly disagreeing with rapper Travis Scott’s participation in the Super Bowl, yet the super group of individuals spearheading the Alliance includes Kraft, owner of the Super Bowl winning New England Patriots. Kraft’s participation in The Reform Alliance may be a bridge for the NFL to take on more active social reform policies.

The NFL's Players Coalition announced the six groups that will receive funding this year. The NFL’s Players Coalition is a group made up of current and former NFL players that looks to address issues that impact communities of color. The Coalition, which is funded through $90 million from the NFL, awarded six grants totaling $2 million to criminal justice and educational reform groups at a Super Bowl press conference last week. Board members who presented included the Eagles’ Malcolm Jenkins, the Panthers’ Torrey Smith, and former NFLer Anquan Boldin. According to the New York Daily News, the beneficiaries for their 2018-2019 grant program include: Year Up, Communities in Schools, Advancement Project, The National Juvenile Defender Center, The Center for Policing Equity, and The Justice Collaborative Engagement Project, which have a diverse set of goals addressing everything from youth education, civil rights, and job progression to equality in race and justice system reform. Last May, the Players Coalition donated $90 million to combat social inequality. The diverse set of charities that will receive funding this year displays that the Coalition is thinking about ongoing race issues in the NFL, as well as education and political reform.

For Super Bowl LIII, the Dude and Carrie Bradshaw returned in an ad to raise money for a water charity. The Dude from the legendary Coen Brothers film “The Big Lebowski” and Carrie Bradshaw of “Sex and the City” fame teamed up in a Stella Artois commercial that features a fine dining restaurant. However, the beer company isn’t just promoting itself with the commercial; the advertisement is part of a collaboration between Stella and Water.org, an organization co-founded by Matt Damon that helps millions of people around the world get access to safe water and sanitation through microloans. According to CBC Radio, the campaign is called Pour It Forward and will fund a six month supply of clean water to someone in the developing world for every six-pack of Stella sold, while a 12-pack provides a year of clean water and single bottles purchased at bars and restaurants provide a month of clean access. The Super Bowl is the perfect stage for Water.org to promote their social cause platform that will make Stella into more than a beer company.

The NFL's Salute to Service Award goes to Atlanta Falcons guard Ben Garland. According to The Union Recorder, Garland was recognized by the league and USAA for his exceptional efforts to support members of the military community. USAA will contribute $25,000 in Garland's honor to the official aid societies representing all five military branches, and the NFL will match that amount for Garland's military charity of choice. In 2018, Garland traveled on two USO tours and he stays involved with helping veterans make adjustments after their service while raising awareness of PTSD. Last year, Garland participated in the Armed Forces Mission's Georgia LOSS Walk alongside veterans, service members, and their families in honor of "Turning the Tide on Veteran Suicide." As a current member of the Colorado Air National Guard, he stays connected to support his fellow active duty service members and donates football tickets each week to his comrades. Furthermore, he often is found speaking at the Air Force Academy, Georgia Tech ROTC, and with local young officers. In the midst of Super Bowl buzz, a service member philanthropy story hit home for the Atlanta Falcons, while the big game was played in their house.

After Tommy “Mr.Falcon” Nobis’ passing, a scan on his brain revealed that he had the most severe form of CTE.  After his passing in 2017, Nobis’ brain was studied by a Boston-based group that specifically deals with head trauma surrounding football players. When the report came back in late 2018, the findings were that Nobis had Stage 4 CTE. According to Sporting News, Nobis displayed the classic and in certain cases, extreme signs of head trauma with erratic moods, paranoia, and angry outbursts among symptoms he dealt with after his football career came to a close. A first round pick for the Falcons in the 1966 draft, Nobis played in Atlanta for 11 seasons and was known for his aggressiveness on the field, despite never reaching a playoff game with the team. Although it is difficult for the family and his daughter to talk about, Nobis’ struggles with CTE have contributed to a growing societal understanding around the field of head trauma. His stories were shared online during lead up to the Super Bowl in the town that he called home for more than a decade.

[quonit-aceattorney]

4-1 Reaction

Rules:

Q = Me, Quonit.

BF = Bardic Feline, the friend that made me spend 30 dollars on the game and whom I am messaging

I don’t use those when I send the messages close enough my username doesn’t appear.

Any typos (unless they are funny and part of the conversation) will be fixed.

Index

Q: new game

Turnabout Trump hmmm

Q: wooohhhhh this looks weird

it's a lot more animated so far

painter

paintings

candle!

sad music

spiders and sards

who loose

bottle

blood

Q: cards

RING

RING

RING

who is in trouble

AH THE BACKGROUND WERE REDONE

i need to know the year dammit

well april 20... 7 years after... april 20 2028

Apollo!!!

who is this dude he looks ever so slightly recognizable

Q: one moment let me look at the court record and that book button i wanna press all the things before i listen to this conversation

YAY EXAMINING THE EXAMINED IS BACK

aw apollo is very happy with his job

wohhhh i can also slide the thing instead of pressing the arrows on the side

dammit i recognize this name... hmmm...

that phoenix guy person or something...

victim alright

BACK TO THE CONVERSATION

NO I WANNA PRESS THE BOOK BUTTON

THAT'S A SAVE BUTTON!!! YESSSS

Q: and it asks me if i wanna go to the title screen instead of just taking em there!!! this isawesome

Q: Apollo is great so far

APOLLO IS FINE

Kristoph: Don't say you're fine quite so much shut up

ya maybe the client should introduce himself to me

Apollo: The defendant has been accused of murder what other things should people be accused of in this game

hello stupid head introduce yourself to me

Stupid head Phoenix stupid: So you're- Apollo: Fine! I-I'm fine! APOLLO IS FINE

yes Apollo is now mr.fine

Phoenix you have an odder name you can't say that

Q: Apollo! Be confident!

apollo is still great

i like the new font

THE FAR SHOTS

BF: Apollo is so great

Q: NO

THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO BE PAINTED AND BRIGHTER whatever

hey judge

one moment let me listen to this awesome music

omg it's window payne

BF: And “I’m fine!” Is basically his catchphrase as I’m sure you’ve noticed

Q: i like that phrase

BF: And you’ve no doubt been introduced to the concept of his “Chords of Steel” workouts. (Basically he yells a lot to pump himself up)

Q: oh! i was wondering if he made that up th get out of something but alright.

BF: With that in mind, you should know that there is totally official art of Apollo in like the Defendant’s lobby or something, DOING his Chords of Steel exercise

Q: yessss

BF: (I.E. screaming into the “camera”)

Q: i wanna see

I have this grudge against Gavin already for some reason. That is just the emotion he evokes from me.

BF: While Kristoph sits on the couch just behind him, looking wholly undisturbed

BF: With earplugs in his ears

Q: yessss

STATE YOUR NAME STUPID

SEE THE JUDGE KNOWS HIM

FINALLY

BF: Hahaha gonna let you form your own opinions on Kris, I have very strong ones

Q:

alright haha.

Q:

im mad at him

BF: Hobo Phoenix is kind of a troll

BF: He’s basically regular Phoenix with his sarcasm filter turned off.

Plus some stuff I can’t talk about because spoilers

Q: ah alright

grape juice: I remember something about thing being said before when i read something on 2-4

Q: fine if it's gambling we can focus on that later RIGHT NOW WE ARE TALKING ABOUT MURDER

Q:

Payne: :something something stupid: and impress women Me: nah he doesn't look straight to me

Q: 

Payne: Better than a defense attorney who can't defend Window Payne is the worst of everybody here so far

BF: Payne has always looked a bit like Riff Raff from Rocky Horror in this one.  It’s the hair...

Q: I've noticed...

Gavin: Are you alright? You're sweating bullets.

Apollo: Bullets!? Where!?

yay! they let most of the tutorial be optional

Q: im in doubt so i will press everything

Phoenix that's a benie you don't hide your face with it that's not how it works

hehe Phoenix still easily beats winston

Q: wait how did phoenix become a hobo didn't he get half a million dollars at the end of the third game

wait no i don't ask questions like that that's spoilers

BF: hahahaha i wouldn't say he was rich at the end of game three (or not that I remember), but he was still in a good place.

and yes, how he got HERE is MAJOR spoilers.

Q: just gonna wait and see then

Gavin everything is poetic to you

BF: hahaaha Kris has quite the dramatic streak, it's true. lD  And a love of flowery language

Q: I'll expect that to continue then

Q: :0 i think i found a contradiction. I am very proud of myself. now to see if it works

it worked!

hehe! Apollo yelling objection throught he text box

Payne's hair swoosh

Q: Wright your phone is still outdated af

BF: Phoenix? Upgrade his phone? heaven forbid!

Q: who is this witness

BF: a lady with a mid 00's meme for a name

Q:

oh boy

Q:

Judge: Where is the witness?? Payne: I surmise that she has been frightened by the defense's demonic looking horns HAH

Olga Orly hmm

HEY LOOK A PHOTO FROM THE SCENE OF THE MUDER >:(

Q: 

Ogla: That night, customer asked me to deal cards for a game is that a typo or am i missing something

nah this seems to be a recurring theme so i guess not

BF: she's supposed to be speaking with a very stereotypical broken English type Russian Accent hahah

Q: ohhh

if this photo is true why is the grape juice on the other side of the table

BF: http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/o-rly     Also, because this meme is old

Hmmmmmm

Q: trying to go to the link

Q: one moment

Q: i need to go eat give me a second

BF: okaaaay

Q: back

i ended up accidentally pulling out the SD card and has to play back to where i was

Apollo: It's already April. How could it be cold? Well 1st off they were in a basement and 2nd off what state are you in

oh ya the meme link

OH I get it now haha.

Q: O RLY your testimony is WRONG i have the autopsy report!

Apollo: :When objecting: Oh really? when did this game come out

Q: hehe Apollo looks very happy with himselfQ: if he played the whole time with a hand on a locket, then how come it isn't on him when he diedQ: dammit phoenix

wtf

what is the photo

wtf why cant i see it

dammit

Q: I highly doubt this once again because the grape juice is on the wrong side of the table if phoenix was loosing

Q:

Apollo: Methinks the judge watches too many movies i wouldn't be surprised

Q: my computer flashed the blue screen of death for some reason... thank god i already finished scrolling all of the way up there yesterday

Q: Otherwise: Gavin what the hell do you want me to do what is wrong with it

photo do you know??? yes it does :D

Q: test

dammit

Q: i was sending a bunch of messages but they apparently didn't go through. I'm getting them now

Gavin: It's almost as if you figured it out by yourself i'm still mad at you for no reason at all don't say stuff like that SEE PHOENIX WAS WINNING. MORONS. Q: Winston's hair is hilarious that is an absolutely awful pun Q: but somebody already said there couldn't have been a cheat because of the cards Q: who cares if i have any idea how poker works or now *not Q: ...not here aren't 5 aces... *NO THERE Q: I'll take the victim's hand. I'm pretty sure it's normal fro there to be 4 red cards and 1 blue... right? nah OLGA WHAT THE HECK Q: :0 THE INTENSE BATTLE MUSIC PLAYING sounds like a remix of the first. oh no! She fell over! Now she won't be able to catch her plates!

so BACK TO GAME

Also i have decided that i am 96% certain that this daughter person is Pearl because i really dont think he had a kid in those 7 years

I want 50 cents if i am right

PHOENIX WHAT IS IT YOU AREN'T GUILTY

Q:

Payne: Raising objections when you are about to get off the hook?!? well I mean... for somebody like Phoenix i guess it makes sense. He wants the whole truth discovered. whatever im probably being dumb

Q: this is interesting

I've also decided i forgive phoenix for being mean and stupid

quonit-aceattorney

uhuh

i don't... crap i need to figure out when the cards were swapped now or im dead

05/18/2018

quonit-aceattorney

back

quonit-aceattorney

Window Payne is so confused haha

quonit-aceattorney

Gavin is doing the anime glasses thing

FINALLY I CAN SEE THE PICTURE

THANK YOU

DAMMIT

eh wahtever

quonit-aceattorney

phoenix im still mad at you give me a reason to forgive you for exlisting

Q: savepoint. That music was awful weird.Q: o rly is a new person nowQ: how dare you even though i haven't seen him in 7 years I will still protect phoenix from evil people

I'm still bad at him but i would give him cookies

Q: aw she called Phoenix' hat cute

Q: wait there was something inverted

what

ya no you're a lying jerk

THIS IS TERRIFYING

Q: what the fuck

Q: no, Phoenix called the cops!

Q: uhhh well im not sure who is colorblind here

but it's not phoenix or the o rly girl so... i have no idea??? WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME

Q: and it's not somebody who was already there because it was a fourth person???

frick

uhhh

Q: when playing this all i feel like im doing is embarrassing myself. What do you want me to dooooo

Q: holy shit my 2nd guess was right

Q: dammit Gavin why

see i knew i had a grudge agaist you for no reason, now i have a reason

Payne is not used to turnabout like this

Q: hmmmm ya why not. I am the defense attorney i make the rules

OF COURSE I WOULD BETRAY YOU. YOU'RE MEAN I KNOW IT!@

Q: NO GAVIN I LIKE PHOENIX MORE THAN YOU

Apollo: Why can't I have a normal trial!? Because you are officially antiquated with Phoenix now: You will never have a normal trial. You have been cursed.

Q: SO NOW both the card and the fingerprints makes sense! Thank Wright for telling me this in the MIDDLE OF THE TRIAL

Q: phoenix the bottle is empty

Q: 

Mr.Gavin: Perhaps a fifth person came and took it out? Oh, and a sixth person could've helped!

shut up you were there

Q: I've been stuck for like 20 minuets now

Q: stupid game

whyyy

i found a contradiction like 30 minutes ago and it did NOTHING ANYWHERE

Q: NOTHING ELSE IS DOING ANYTHING EITHER

I HAVE AN EVIL GUY SITTING NEXT TO ME AND SOME DUDE I USED TO KNOW NOT GIVING ME STRAIGHT ANSWERS

Q: All of the characters in this game suck and I sound stupid when i try to predict things

Q: like how am i supposed to know anything im just making stupid claims when i have absolutely nothing

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHAT'S STUPID

Q: LATER IT JUST LOOKS STUPID BUT  IT REALLY ISN'T WITH THE KNOWLEDGE I HAD RIGHT

Q: gah everybody from this game still sucks

IT'S BEEN FORTY MENUTES

BF: I think when you are that stuck, you are officially allowed to take a peak at a guide

Q: THANKS

bleh i hate using them but it has been NEARLY AN HOR

HOUR

BF: This one is weirdly tricky for a Tutorial case!

Q: at first I was like "Well it's a tutorial case but all of them get harder with each game" and then i remembered this came out years later and is kinda like a rebootish thing and is kinda for new players and it's dumb how hard this is

Q: looked at the guide for a second for the very specific thing: I feel stupid >:(

Q: HOW DID I MISS THAT >:(

STUPID HAT

before you sent a message I was writing something about why i decided i hate evreybody from this game

BF: Hahahaha it’s okay. I can’t count the number of times these games have made me feel that way

Q: ...stupid...stupid game making me look stupid... stupid...

BF just UGHHH THIS IS SO EASY NOW THAT I KNOW

Calm down, breath

Q: I LOOKED OVER ALL OF THE PHOTOS ALREADY HOW DID I MISS IT

okay one moment

BF: It’s not always easy to work out what kind of logic the game wants you to follow

BF: It’s got nothing to do with how smart you are

In that regard, it’s like an older style adventure game

Q: alright...

I forgave him and only him he's the only one who did nothing wrong

Gavin you are the worst of everybody in this room and saying that makes me feel better

now stop being mean to phoenix even if he is lying

Q: yesss phoenix is being useful. Tell me about this conversation

Q: NOW I REMEMBER WHY THAT GAVIN GUY LOOKS SLIGHTLY FAMILIAR

(Edit: In reference to this comic)

Q: At least i think that was him in that comic... i dunno I think that is where i remember him slightly from

oh no i saw a stupid comic how could i get so many spoilers oh nooooo

Q: hi top hat girl! I forgive your existence!

is the card this girl gave me a 5 of hearts

nope it's an ace with blood on it! Thank you girl! Also i forgive your existence because I'm pretty sure i remember you were adopted

I’Q: I'm revealing all of the spoilers I know at first so that i don't feel like m hiding them later

like for example: Godot having poor vision. I felt guilty hiding it. so i'm not going to hide probably spoilers I know with this game

BF: Hahaha that was him!

Q: yaaaay

Q: I think the first thing that made me not like him though when u started playing is that he was smiling and didn't seem to change his expression... like everybody else did and he was just kinda sitting there being the same and giving me tips and i have never liked that from this game... for some reason...

Q: Gavin that testimony is full of crap

BF: Kristoph and his ^_^ haha

Q: STOP SMILING AND BEING QUIETISH AND GIVING APOLLO TIPS YOU FREAK ME OUT IT'S LIKE I HIT YOU WITH A SLEDGEHAMMER AND YOU FALL DOWN AND THEN YOU GET UP AND SMILE AND PUSH YOUR GLASSES UP AND SAY SOMETHING THAT SOUNDS SMART BUT IS FULL OF LIES

I have trust issues in this game apparently

BF: I will say this; Kris, for all that he’s meant to be this totally cool under pressure Attorney (aka Coolest Defense in the West...pffft...thanks for that, game...) he is remarkably bad about self incriminating

For NO GOOD REASON

:BF I mean, you have to catch him out SOMEHOW but the information that he just VOLUNTEERS

Q: ack. Gavin whyyyy

Q: phoenix is being great. I'm close to forgiving him.

Q: You can argue that this trial is more Kristoph v Phoenix than anything else

Q: Apollo is a newb and this is extremely hard for a tutorial. Why not let him take over some of it?

BF: Lol true

Poor Apollo haha

Q: SORRY YOU COULDN'T HAVE IT EASY BUT YOU'VE BEEN CURSED WITH MAIN CHARACTER OF THE FOURTH ACE ATTORNEY GAME.

Q: I'm not used to this game letting me do this much... like swivel a chair around.

it's like... animated.... I am not used to that

Q: It's a cupboard not a wall you can stand in them if you wanted to

or wasn't there! Smart boy :D

Q: SO THE WINDOW WOULD BE COVERED UP

Q: SECRET PASSAGE of course

Q: Mr Gavin stop it i just pretty much won and you wanna be like "oh nah im super cool not like this effects me in any way because I totally have been hiding something too"

"that would TOTALLY shatter your theory!"

Q:

Phoenix: Don't let him trick you into thinking his explanation is the only legitimate one AS I SAID THEIR ARE OTHER TOTALLY SENSIBLE THEORIES

Q: Kris (because i stopped calling him my his last name): So this is the legendary attorney's famed tactic of misdirection...

see this is what people say when i am winning

Q:

Phoenix: Say apollo, maybe you should examine the bottle maybe you'll find a very specific card in there

Q: ANGRY GAVIN USES LEVITATION

Q: window payne nobody cares just accept it and move on

Q:

Judge: Seven years and you still haven't lost your touch that's nice can he have his badge back?

Phoenix: The second is a man who would tolerate no injectice so you decided on a guy with justice for a last name

CONFETTI FOR PHOENIX WOOO

BF: hhahaaha

at the risk of spoiling something, I'd like you to know that you haven't seen Kristoph's FULL breakdown.

Yet. >:D

Q:

Phoenix: How about you come and work for me YESSSS BACK IN WRIGHT AND CO LAW OFFICES WHERE I BELONG --- I figured!

BF: and yeah, it is...useful to think of him by his first name.

You'll see why in a bit.

Q: Oh ya he has a family... i think i remember something about a brother

that's spoilers I won't ask

BF: :3

Q: APOLLO I KNOW YOU ARE MAD BUT DON'T PUNCH PHOENIX HE'S BEEN ASSAULTED ENOUGH ALREADY

Phoenix: oh and about your uppercut... Try yelling, "Take that!" next time. I find it packs a little more punch ^^^ 100% with phoenix on this one

Q: well that was an awful long beginning. Apollo can we investigate more and talk to people this time?

[survivoremathia]

Ep. 9 - "I'm the Only Pure Angel in a Game of RATS and Sloths" - Owen

OWEN

I hope Isaac is okay but like.... tribal cancelled? NUT. Isaac did nothing for me in this game. We didn't talk. We didn't vote together. As far as I'm concerned, he was a chess piece in someone else's hands. So I'm glad that's a variable that was removed :~) rip. Honestly though I do hope that whatever happened works out okay :( ANyways, I'm pretty sure Scott would've gone just as an easy vote. Now, I'm not sure what's going to happen next! Maybe Scott will still go? Idk. There are still powers out there. Especially Logan's merge fuckery prize!! Maybe immunity will be something I can actually win this time. I hope it's fun.

LOGAN

Isaac? I hope youre okay, but you stole two things from me. 1. You stole my extra vote. I could have shown who my allies are this round, but I never got a chance. 2. YOU STOLE MY FIRST INDIVIDUAL IMMUNITY? I've never done that before, and the fact I would have stolen it from TREVOR makes me so much angrier.

-

So I still can't choose who to align myself with - Duncan, or Matt? If I'm with Duncan, I'm with Trevor, and I don't trust Trevor. If I'm with Matt, I'm probably in the bottom of the numbers, but I can pull a Sarah Mosey and hide behind his personality... same with any of the newbies, but I doubt they're worth hiding behind. 

ALI

Guess whose back, back again! Its ME! Welp, Isaac quitting made my exile stay somewhat underwhelming, importance wise, but him quitting and going to jury might be in my benefit. I was one of the few people he said who talked to him, and thus him going to jury without me having voted him out, might mean I'm still in his good graces, come F2/F3. Also, I love where I'm at in the merge tribe at the moment! I'm of course allied with J.D (still my number one), in the 'The Leal Jousewives of Atlanta' with Lydia and Trevor, and in 'The Hydra' with Matt and Sam. However, I'm also now close with Owen, and I have rebuilt a connection with Logan (even thought their lying to me about them going to room 9, which I am still kinda miffed about). Of those left, I like Ryan a lot too, and Scott trust me, so I don't think there are any issues there. Thus, the people 'on the outs' with me personally, are Duncan and David. Duncan, because I'm still super sketched out by that Rob idol play lie, and David, who I've barely spoken to. It seems like the general consensus for the next tribal is Scott, but then, I was talking to Owen about this yesterday, we feel like after that, this game will come alive and everyone is going to pounce. I finished the challenge, I went past 483, then went back to it, but I highly doubt I'll be first (I fell asleep ten mins before the challenge was posted, and completed it about 12 hours after it was set yikes)... I know concretely that I beat Scott however, so if he is the general consensus, he hasn't won immunity. What else is there... Hmmm, oh yeah, I'm somewhat conflicted, for my game's future. I feel like at some point soon-ish, me and JD will have to pick a side between our two four person alliances. If I had to pick now, I feel like we'll end up siding with 'TLJoA' alliance, as JD is definitely swaying towards them, and Sam is also close to Trevor, so we'd only be 'abandoning' one person (Matt). Ideally, I'd love to make F5 with TLJoA + Owen, because then, it'd almost be 'obvious' that me, Lydia and JD should vote out Trevor/Owen, as a duo. That's the goal at the moment! :)

-

Tonight has been amazing for me game-wise. I've FINALLY made headway with repairing my relationship with Duncan and forming one by David! Admittedly, the latter only really happened when I messaged him 'what rhymes with four hundred and eighty knee' :). Anywho, I won't complain- if it brings us together, I love it! :)

MATTEW

yeah so...it's final 11 now which means game time in my mind. With Isaac and Scott leaving the game, we're really left with a group that has a lot of big threats and nowhere to hide. A few rounds ago I led Logan to door #9 in an effort to keep whatever goodie it held out of Trevor's hands but that immediately backfired when a) it was apparently only an extra vote that is already expired and b) Sam told Trevor that I let Logan know what it was! I'd love to have faith in my alliance, but I'd be a fool not to expect Sam and Trevor to be working together after they both mutinied from the same tribe. However, at this point, I don't think it's within my best interest to just keep quiet and not make a big move because Trevor is probably paranoid as hell that Logan has an idol and according to Ryan, he said that I "need to go" after Sam exposed me so I could very well be a target this round. The thing is, Trevor has Owen and Lydia absolutely on lock, so I need at least one member of the Hydra to be on my side or else I'd have absolutely no chance at getting the numbers. Out of the three, I think I can convince Ali to side with me, so I'm really going to work on buttering him up and enticing him with the idea of a "big move" in the event that Sam and JD were onboard with a plan to blindside me. 

DUNCAN

Isaac quit and Scott got Med Evacd meaning i made final 11 sluts!!!! And Rob is on the jury!!! I'm going to take a shot in the dark and say Isaac quit bc Solomon Islands is coming up so he'll need to dedicate his time to hosting that, which I totally understand. On the not so bright side, I'm never getting his vote, oops. I had a meltdown in PI johto like a week ago and swung at a lot of people, Isaac included, and I think it left a bitter taste in his mouth. OOPS!! Apparently I'm not bound to have good social game in Athena games anymore. *abbey shrug* 

http://survivoremathia.tumblr.com/post/158530385221/immunity-9-password

http://survivoremathia.tumblr.com/post/158568335546/immunity-results-and-announcement

OWEN

im gay but i won immunity so that is cute

LYDIA

I can't say I'm completely comfortable with this vote.  I've done my best talking to people but no one has really reached out to talk game with me besides my original crew of Ali and JD, and then the new crew of Ryan, Trevor, and Owen.  JD and Ali have been working with Sam and Matt, and I'm really not sure if me and Matt can play nice together rn so I need them to break away from that combo.  Also I like Sam and all but I get strange vibes about him, I know he doesn't have much interest in playing with me, he's a nice kid tho.   Trevor is causing some drama.  Ryan thinks he's doing too much and making himself a threat, which I agree with.  Ryan is okay letting him self destruct and I'm really not, but I'm also not willing to throw Ryan under the bus.  So I wanted to tell Trevor to calm down without making it obvious that Ryan is the one who was talking about it, but I don't think I did that very well.  I probably just made him annoyed.   In other news, I'm nervous about this vote because I feel like Scott should be the obvious choice but honestly people might not want to do that.  I'm scared this will get flipped on myself because Matt might be mad and I'm unlikable, or Trevor because he's allegedly doing too much. 

-

When did Scott get medevaced??? God fuck shit now I actually have to talk to people. Son of a gun.....

ALI

Scott leaving has really made this next tribal super complex. My dream merged alliance of 'Me, Matt, JD, Sam, Trevor, Owen and Lydia'? Isn't happening. Why can't my dreams just come true ugh? What's worse, is that I MIGHT BE A GOSH DARN SWING VOTE. As it stands, Matt is amassing an army against Trevor, of Logan, Duncan, David, Ryan and himself with me as the sixth, and Trevor's alliance is himself, Lydia, Owen, Sam, JD and me AGAIN as the sixth. Well, I am trying to think it through, as to which side to go to. I am far better connected on the Trevor side of things (am close to JD and Sam, am in a four person alliance with Trevor and Lydia, really like Owen), but I am super concerned about a Trevor , Owen and Lydia power trio. Like really really concerned. On the other side, I'm not especially close with David, nor am I with Ryan. Logan and Duncan I've rebuilt relationships with, but we still have that Eddie vote that's preventing a solid alliance for being formed. I really like Matt though and want to stick with him. I have some plans. Plan A) This is the dream plan. If I can somehow dismantle this split vote, and make it a large majority, then I'm not pissing off like half the tribe and can keep working with Matt, alongside 'TLJoA people'. If we can pick off an easy target, like David (can't believe I just described a 10+ times player as an 'easy target' but anywho) and then delay this inevitable bloodbath, I can try and quash people's differences. Plan B) PANIC AND WORRY AND CRY AND STUFF Plan C) Just pick a side and pray For my first game, this is quite the trial by fire. I've been thrown way into the deep end.

LOGAN

if trevor blindsides me for the second time in org career together i will b one PO'd cookie

AMANDA

Hi Jay! It's me again! I just wanted to say hey and also you're great. Cami and Abbey too, since they will read this at some point. Love you all!

LOGAN

Amanda is my favorite mom today tho bc it's Sunday and she deserves it.

OWEN

Being under the radar is easy when you have immunity. Apparently Ryan told Lydia that Trevor was controlling so like.... that's good for me!! Everyone would target him before me, I think. But they can't forget the other trio in the game, Sam, Ali and JD. Sam in particular has been extra stupid to talk to because he won't bring up any names to me or talk game and it's almost as transparent as me trying to force him to lol. He never mentioned the idol to me even though Duncan claims that he knows I know anyway. Isn't that even more of a reason to bring it up...? Yeah it's... just not good!!! I don't wanna be too pushy but I think the best move for me is if David stays and Matt goes. I'm just worried that they'll try to flip it on Trevor or something. But I do have a plan for the rest of this game!! Here's the order I wanna get shit done :~) Matt Sam Ali Ryan Logan Duncan David JD That would be the ideal boot order... Assuming I want to be in the end with Trevor. It would be more ideal to me if Trevor were to leave at five or four because I think he would beat me. The problem is I don't want to write his name down and I know Lydia won't want to either? Which means something else would have to happen for him to go - like an idol play. I want Sam gone before he plays the damn cursed idol. But idk how I'll get that done next round. If Matt goes, I would need Ryan and his extra vote, Lydia, Trevor, myself, and David. Which sounds hard. Maybe I'll talk to David and tell him he's on the chopping block... but if that gets back to the others then they'll be sketched out by me and wanna vote out Trevor. God I would rather just go back to sleep than deal with this. The only thing Scott ever did to make the game harder was get his ass booted. Fuck that

-

Everyone was set on David but that's not good enough for me so! I tried bringing up voting Matt to Sam and he continues to avoid talking actual game with me so I brought it up to Ali and Ali clearly didn't wanna vote Matt out. Alright Ali!!! Interesting! Ali said that he's close with Matt and can keep an eye on him and so :) I went to duncan and was like Ali is close with Matt and so is Logan we need to do something. And then sometime during this I guess Matt brought up trevor's name and Sam told trevor and then duncan asked sam about voting matt and I just.... am screaming!!!! Hopefully Matt doesn't catch wind of this and hopefully Sam and Duncan decide it's better to vote for Matt than for David. Then we would just need Lydia and Ryan on board... and Idk what would happen with Ali and JD if they weren't told about the vote?? Either way if this works, and all I had to do was be the match that sparked the flame, I'll cry

TREVOR

https://youtu.be/BLR36h1uZHQ

DUNCAN

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=pxPn-7pD9lo&feature=youtu.be

RYAN PALMER

ok so chaos ryan is here yall! lets see if we can get trevor out tonight. if this works i fucking win. i dont care if i get voted out. it will be the most amazing move created in a half an hour on no sleep ever! LETS GET THIS GAME GOING! IM NOT HERE TO PLAY TREVORS GAME!

OWEN

Well well well!!! Looks like I'm the only pure angel in a game of RATS and sloths!! The Matt thing got rolling and the votes shifted away from David but then.... Matt pulled together a group to vote Trevor!!! Which Duncan may or may not be a part of. So theoretically they believe David, Logan, Matt, Ryan, Duncan, and JD are voting Trevor, Trevor Lydia and myself are voting Matt, and Ali and Sam are voting David?? But Sam and Ali know all about the Matt plan and JD told them all about the Trevor plan. So I guess it'll come down to both Duncan and the idols left. Trevor for some reason thinks Sam is gonna play an idol on him which I think is BS but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ This whole Matt thing really let shit hit the fan huh!!! And I'm just sitting pretty :) Got my idol round my neck, my popcorn in my lap, and my 3D glasses on. I wanna see fireworks after tribal.

ALI

Literally, this vote is madness. Its turned into an all out war between Trevor and Matt. Its just too much for me :(. Like, I need sleep. Why can't everyone just get along lmao?!?

OWEN

Also can we talk about how Trevor still wanted to trust Ryan even after Ryan told Lydia that Trevor was a threat???? Sketch. Not on my watch, Ryan!

-

lmao me trying to convince Trevor to give me his idol and he won't!!!! sketch!!!!!

ALI

Please Sam! Play the gosh darn idol! :)

MATTHEW

So, I've been fishing around to see if anybody would be even willing to target Trevor and then Trevor does what Trevor does and causes chaos an hour before tribal so I have limited time to scramble. What started out as an "easy" David vote has now turned into a massive power struggle between myself and Trevor. There's really not a lot of people I trust at the moment, but Ryan Teddy Palmer is thankfully working his magic and helping me by trying to get numbers and using his extra vote advantage. It all comes down to where Ali and Sam lie. They're gonna decide my fate tonight. I want to trust in them because of our alliance but I know they were both kinda close to Trevor on their original tribes and I've had reason to believe they're both still kinda working with him, so this round is really gonna test where their loyalties lie. Unfortunately for me, if they don't choose me, I'm out of the game. I also can't stand Duncan's fakeness lol, he still holds a vendetta against me for retaliating against his move that was intended to screw me over. Like...4 of us voted your man out, not just me. But now he's besties with Trevor and wants me to go and it's just a hot mess. If I go out this round, I at least went down fighting, but I'm hoping that nothing crazy happens and Trevor is sent home once and for all.

ALI

Five minutes before the vote, and I'm having serious heart palpitations. Lord save me. This is sooooo scary.

http://survivoremathia.tumblr.com/post/158609555526/tribal-council-uh8-8 0