#im always third wheeling basically sob

[wolfbane-blooms]

had so much fun in our wildsea session today we kept laughing so much at what the firefly made happen and although we didn't necessarily accomplish much its just rly nice to see everyone and laugh and have a fun time

[youngbeezer]

hi!! can I please request something?

going to a lake house, maybe friends to lovers with bowen byram?

thank you! 💗.

A/N: HI IM SO SORRY THIS LITERALLY TOOK 4 EVER!!! i was having such bad writer's block with also zero motivation, but i eventually put a little something together and i hope whoever requested this first off actually sees this bc seriously its been a good month of this sitting in my inbox but also i hope you like it :)

Word Count: 2940

Warning(s): kinda angsty in beginning, curse words, ends fluffy !!!

masterlist || join my taglist

These next few days is either going to turn out to be the best week of the summer, or the most awkward week of the summer...

I’m currently stuck in a car surrounded by couples on our way to a lake house in Colorado. Somehow I ended up being lumped into this chaotic group of professional hockey players and their drop-dead gorgeous significant others.

About a year ago at my local salon, I just so happened to be seated right next to a woman named Grace, who I immediately hit it off with. We became fast friends and are now basically inseparable at this point. Her boyfriend just so happens to play hockey for the Colorado Avalanche, Cale Makar. Now I have also grown quite close with Cale as well, since I am always at their shared apartment for Grace. At this point Cale is basically third wheeling us, instead of it being the other way around. Therefore I was also always invited to team parties and get-togethers, which prompted more friendships with most of the guys on the team and their respective partners.

Someone I have surprisingly grown super close with is Bowen Byram. As soon as Cale introduced us two, his blue eyes and raspy voice immediately drew me in. Straight away we bonded over common interests and that night we talked for almost three hours. After that, we were thick as thieves. So thick that recently I have come to the realization that I have caught major feelings for him along the way.

It has only been a few weeks since I have come to this realization and it has already started to affect our relationship. I definitely started to ignore Bowen a little bit when I first figured out my feelings because I was scared he would somehow find out or I would just end up blurting it out at some point. And the last thing I want is for my silly feelings to ruin such a great friendship.

Thus why this week can either turn out to be the best or the worst.

I’ve decided that at some point during this trip I need to confess my feelings for Bowen. He’s also seemed to notice the shift in my attitude towards him. I have become more closed off and not as touchy as we used to be. Bowen and I are both very touchy/feely types of people. So what seemed like just some harmless cuddling and play wrestling with each other, to me did very little to quell down my feelings.

For example, this morning when we were packing up the cars for the trip a group of us are taking to Tyson Jost’s lakehouse, Bowen went to wrap his arms around my middle from the back and I subconsciously flinched away at his touch. I know he definitely noticed my mood shift from the defiant pout that was resting on his face. After that I did what I do best, and ran away to the other car that was driving up and basically begged Nate to switch seats with me.

Which now leads to my current thoughts. The entire car ride up I have been contemplating on ways I could tell him, but each scenario just ended up with him telling me that he doesn’t feel the same, and our friendship essentially being over. Obviously I was just overthinking just a little, but I’ve never been stuck in a situation like this before-- and now we are going to be stuck in a lake house together for an entire week, so I am going to be forced to face this situation whether I want to or not.

“Yo. Earth to y/n?” Tyson draws, trying to gain my attention. I snap out of my thoughts as soon as I hear my name, and bring my gaze to the rearview mirror to meet Tyson’s questioning look. “We’re here.” He announces.

Susanna, Mikko’s girlfriend, adds on, “You alright? You seemed kind of out of it the entire car ride.”

I shake my head to try and clear my thoughts and notice that we are indeed here at the lake house we will be staying at for the next week. I clear my dried up throat before croaking out a weak, “Yeah, I’m fine. Just don’t like long car rides.”

Both of them nod, content with my answer and exit the car to join Mikko in unloading all of the luggage from the trunk. I take a few more moments to fully get my head together after dealing with all my jumbled thoughts throughout the entire three hour car ride.

Jumping out of the car, the first thing I see is Bowen letting out a yawn and stretching out. As his arms raise over his head, some of his shirt rises up with it and immediately my eyes are drawn to the small portion of skin and v-line that is in front of me. Bowen then notices my presence and makes eye contact with me, giving me one of his adorable little smiles. I advert my gaze as quickly as I can so my obvious ogling isn’t as obvious and go to finally retrieve my luggage.

Yeah this was gonna be a long week.

…

After everyone got pretty much all settled into their rooms, we all ended up coming back together to sit around the firepit to chat and enjoy some drinks. For this trip that Tyson orchestrated there are in total ten people staying in the house. Me, Tyson, obviously since it’s his house; Bowen, Cale, Grace, Alex Newhook, Mikko and his girlfriend Susanna, and lastly Nate and his supposed new girl who will be joining us later on in the week.

Apparently a group of the guys and their partners have been taking trips together at the end of the hockey season for a while now, and since growing closer with the team this year, I graciously got an invite.

Since it was getting later and a little bit more chilly, I grabbed a random sweatshirt that I saw already laying around in the living room before making my way outside to join everyone by the firepit. Getting closer I noticed that the only seat available just so happened to be next to Bowen.

Cale and Grace give each other a not so inconspicuous knowing look when they see me approaching. As soon as I sit down, a question is being thrown at me.

“Whose sweatshirt is that y/n?” Cale brings everyone's attention to me with a growing smirk on his face.

“I don’t know, I just found it in the living room.” I give Cale a questioning glare, trying to figure what his endgame is right now.

“It’s mine.” I hear that same raspy voice that I love and know so well. I feel my face start heating up at the idea of wearing Bowen’s sweatshirt. Am I wearing his name on my back right now, and I just didn’t even think to check earlier?

“Oh, uh. Sorry, I can give it back to you, if you want it.” I stumble out, now feeling awkward and a little embarrassed about how flustered I am getting over a simple sweatshirt.

Bowen gives me a little smile before replying back, “Nah, it’s fine. It looks better on you anyway.”

I clear my throat and stumble out an awkward ‘thanks’ at Bowen and then turn my attention to Grace right next to me so I don’t embarrass myself even more. What I don’t see though is the way Bowen's face immediately falls when I turn my back on him.

…

Around midnight is when everyone started to make their way back inside the house to start getting ready for bed. I was mindlessly scrolling through my social media, so I didn’t notice that mostly everyone had already gone inside.

“Y/n.” I look up at the mention of my name to notice that Bowen and I are the only ones left outside.

Also noticing the intense gaze I am receiving from Bowen, I quickly gather my things and stumble out, “Oh my gosh I didn’t notice everyone left already. I should head inside as well.”

Bowen is quicker though because he grabs ahold of my wrist, halting me in place before I make my very obvious escape.

“Hold on, please. Can you please talk to me?” Bowen pleads out.

“What do you mean? We’ve been talking all night.” I countered, trying one last time to get out of this conversation.

“We’ve been talking as a group all night yeah, but you couldn’t even make eye contact with me. You know what I mean. What’s been going on? Did I do something?” Bowen frowned.

At that moment I felt so guilty. I’ve been so focused on trying to ignore my feelings that I have developed that I ended up pushing my best friend away and hurting him in the process. I close my eyes and let out a deep breath. I knew I would eventually have to have this talk with Bowen during this week, but I just didn’t expect it to be on the very first night.

“Okay. Yeah, let’s talk.”

I lead the way down to the dock overlooking the lake and sit down to dangle my feet into the water. I know for a fact that Grace and Cale realized that we both haven’t come in behind them, so they are most likely snooping by the backdoor wondering what we are doing.

Bowen joins me, after slipping his shoes off and dangling his feet in as well.

“What’s been going on y/n?” Bowen asks again.

“I-I think I’m in love with you.” I blurt out. I can feel my heartbeat pounding in my ears as I await any type of response from Bowen. Taking a peek over at him, I see the pure shock on his face. Probably wasn’t the best idea to start off the conversation with that.

Taking his silence as a bad sign, I start spewing out whatever I can to try and calm the anxiety coursing through my veins. “I-I think I have known for a while and I just tried to ignore it, I guess. But then I realized that I was just pushing you away, an-and I never wanted to do that. Our friendship means that absolute world to me, and I would hate myself if anything I did, or-or my stupid feelings jeaporized that.” At some point during my little rant, a few tears escaped. I turn my head away as I try to hold back on a full on sob breaking loose.

“You think?” He eventually breaks the silence.

Confusedly, I turned my head back around and let out a strangled, “Huh?” I see the corners of Bowen’s mouth start curving up into a tiny smile, confusing me even more.

“You said, you think you’re in love with me.” He pointed out.

My eyebrows raise in question and I give him a little shrug, prompting him to elaborate more.

“Well… I’m pretty damn sure I’m in love with you.” Bowen softly declared.

My breath catches in my throat and my mouth turns as dry as the Sahara Desert. Those were definitely not the words I was expecting to come out of his mouth. He chuckles at my surprised face and scooches a little closer to my body to wipe a stray tear on my cheek.

“Are you serious?” I whisper out.

“Of course.” He whispered just as softly back to me as his head inched closer to mine.

My heart pounds in my chest as Bowen’s hand comes up to cradle my cheek. All of our pent up feelings and emotions that we both have been too afraid to admit all come crashing together as our lips finally meet. He kissed me gently, almost carefully, but after all this time gentleness was not what I wanted right now. Bowen let out a low groan as I pulled him flush against my body, my fists bunching up the collar of his shirt.

Before this could go any further, we both pull away breathlessly, basking in what truly just happened-- just now realizing how much our relationship is about to change.

“Fuck.” Bowen breathed out, running his hands over his face. “If I knew that was what it was like to kiss you I would’ve blurted out my feelings the day I met you.”

My ears perk up at his last few words and it seems like he also realizes what he just admitted, as his cheeks immediately turn a rosy color.

“You’ve liked me for that long?” I bashfully question.

Bowen runs his fingers through his hair and blows out a breath of air before answering, “Yeah, I-I mean… yeah I have.” He stumbles out, awkwardly letting out a laugh.

I lean my head on his shoulder and connect our hands, feeling super content and never wanting this moment to end. We take a moment to just sit on the dock-- with our feet hanging in the water, hands intertwined; and bask in the feeling of finally letting our feelings out into the open.

“You know everyone in that house is going to have a field day when they find out.” Bowen mumbles against my shoulder, before leaving a lingering kiss on the exposed skin.

“Oh I wouldn’t be surprised if they all had a bet going or something.” I chimed. I raise my head that had previously been resting on Bowen’s shoulder back up to look at him, and see that he is already smiling at me. “What?” I drawled, feeling my cheeks heating up under his gaze.

“You wanna sleep in my bed tonight?” He asked hesitantly.

My cheeks now feel on fire as I ponder on how I want to go about this. I raise my eyebrows up at him in question as I ponder out, “Do you want me in your bed tonight?”

Bowen gives me an almost incredulous look as he voiced, “Of course I want you in my bed.”

I just give him a simple nod and push my body up in a standing position, reaching out my hand to prompt Bowen to join me. “Okay, let’s go.”

Bowen immediately shoots up from his sitting position, clinging onto my hand as we make our way back up the yard to the sliding glass doors of the lake house. Just as I predicted earlier, Cale and Grace were totally snooping. Actually, the entire house was snooping. Everyone was gathered in the kitchen trying to act casual as we walked in, but as soon as they noticed our conjoined hands, all hell broke loose.

“I fucking knew it!”

“Aw you guys look so cute.”

“Bout time.”

“Ha! Nate, you owe me fifty bucks.”

I looked over at Bowen with an unimpressed look, “Told you they probably had a bet going on.” Meanwhile Bowen has an incredulous look coating his face watching his friends freak out over his newfound relationship. Instead of questioning our oddball friends, Bowen just simply shakes his head, letting out a little chuckle.

“Alright I’m heading up, I can’t deal with these idiots right now.” Bowen gives me a quick peck on the lips before announcing his departure for the night. Most of the others also start making their way up to their respective rooms for bed, the guys putting on a show of making kissy noises and making a few chirps as they follow Bowen up the stairs.

Grace joins me by the counter, making a show of wiggling her eyebrows at me. I’m smiling like an idiot as Cale also joins us, chuckling at my lovesick expression.

“You’re welcome.” Cale smirked.

I scrunch my face up in confusion as I question him back, “For what?”

“For introducing you two, duh.” Cale teased. Grace smacks him on the arm with a tut, making a show of rolling her eyes at her boyfriend. “Alright, seriously I am happy for you guys though.” He eventually relents.

My cheeks heat up from the attention but also from the thought of Bowen and I’s new relationship. Grace grabs me by the shoulders and starts pushing me in the direction of the staircase.

“Obviously I’m happy for you too. All I’ve wanted is the best for you and I think Bowen is just that. And with that being said, go get your mans!” She sends me off with a quick smack on my ass. I giggle the whole way up the stairs on the way into Bowen’s [now our] room feeling extremely giddy and content.

When I enter the room, all the lights except for the bathroom are already off, and it looks like Bowen is already settled into bed. So, I quickly do my night time routine and change into my pajamas before making my way over to the bed I will now be sharing for the week.

Bowen is awaiting me with his arms wide open, which I happily cuddle into the second I am under the covers. He buries his head into my neck, leaving featherlight kisses here and there.

“I love you.” Bowen mumbles into my neck. I card my fingers through his hair and kiss the top of his head as I mumble back those same words, in complete awe over how fast my life has changed in one night. We both knew that we would eventually be together, it just took a little time and a trip to Tyson Jost’s lakehouse for us to figure it out. This week will definitely be one for the books.

Taglist: @barzysandmarnersbitch @handwrittenheroes @hockeyplayerstories @barzy-xoxo @gnemgn @joelsfarabees

Tagging some mutuals as well so this doesnt flop,,,

@2manytabsopen @bb-nhlqueen7 @frederikanderson @simon-edvinsson @coltonndach @carepriceisgoodathockey @lovereadinghockeyy @pettypeteys @kentjohnsons @joekellys @mattybenierss

[retroellie]

Dating Ellie Williams Headcannons

Summary: Headcannons for dating ellie 

A/N: Have this because my last imagine was ass... I think i like writing headcannons way more than imagines lmao 

Warning: TLOU2 spoilers, Mentions of death, PTSD, and NSFW/dirty talk 

Word Count: 1.8k 

- She fell in love with you when she first saw you 

- She had just come to Jackson after the incident with the fireflies 

- You being around the same age as her tommy asked you to show her around and tell her what’s what

- “Ellie this is Y/n, Y/n this is ellie.” Tommy introduced y’all 

-Her heart stopped when she saw you, she couldn’t help the blush that was forming. 

-She couldn’t stop looking at you when you were talking about the shops and sights around Jackson 

- It seemed like you were liked around town, you were friendly to everyone and everyone knew who you were

- She will never forget the thing you said to her when you guys were in front of her new home 

-”Tommy told me a lot about you and i just want you to know, you're safe now.” 

-She felt for the first time she could let go, relax for a minute 

-You helped her move into the garage, trying to make her as comfortable as she could be 

- She wrote about you a lot in her journal, writing poems and drawing pictures of you 

-You guys hung out a lot with Jesse and Dina but she would much rather hang out with you alone 

-You two had become really good friends by the time you guys were 16, i mean Ellie opened up to you more than she did anyone 

-Opening up meaning talking about her interests and some of her favorite childhood memories 

-She was honestly too scared to tell you about her immunity and even more scared to tell you about her past, afraid that she was gonna scare you away 

-You introduced her to cat and you definitely regretted it because cat liked her 

-When they started dating cat was definitely the third wheel because you and Ellie were so closer

-You held Ellies hand when she got her tattoo, she couldn’t hide the blush than but blamed it on the pain 

-You guys shared the same love for music, you showed her most of the music she listened to 

-You would sleep over at her place a lot 

-You guys would watch movies, talk about space and dance horribly to old music 

-Y’all could never get bored of each other

-When you spent the night at her place you would sleep in her bed with her but it was as friends, Ellie didn’t want you sleep on the floor and you didn’t want to force her out of her own bed  

-Ellie would always get so embarrassed when you slept over, she would always go into a gay panic 

-By the time y’all were 18, she was head over heels for you 

-You two were still best friends but her feelings got in the way  so she was distant 

-It got to the point where she didn’t want to be with anyone else, it was either you or no one 

-She didn’t really have time for relationships so she didn’t really mind it 

-She would play guitar for you when you came over, even attempting to teach you 

-Everything she owned was yours and everything you owned was hers 

-”God damn it, where is my Walkman” 

-”Oh, I took it. Mine broke.” 

-Ellie bashed on everyone you liked, Little did she know you liked her 

- You liked the boy who worked at the bar? She had something to say about him 

-You found out she liked you when you two were dancing one night 

-Your arms were wrapped around her neck and hers around your waist, it was like a scene from a movie 

-You both felt the tension, it made the butterflies in your stomach go crazy 

-”I’m just a girl.... not a threat.” 

-”Oh ellie... I think they should be terrified of you.” 

-Next thing you know her lips were on yours 

-The kiss felt like it went on forever until you pulled away, panting for air 

-No words exchanged just a smirk and her pulling you out of the church

-She didn’t waste anytime, She’s been waiting for this moment 

-Now that you guys were together, you guys were too powerful 

-You guys spent a lot of time in her garage, i swear you basically lived there 

-You guys could spend hours tangled up together or have heated make out sessions that lead to so much more 

-Soft kisses and 80s movies 

-endless sex i swear this woman is going to be the death of me 

-I have said this before but this girl is always horny, i mean she still has raging hormones  so she’s always on top of you 

-She tries to highlight her tattoo when pleasuring you because she knows it drives you crazy 

-She loves when you sit in her lap, it’s both cute and hella sexy to her

-Her kisses make you lightheaded, like you gotta sit down for a minute after she kisses you 

-She finds your body fascinating, like it sounds cringey but she love everything about you body 

-She likes to explore your body a lot, like what gets the best reaction out of you 

-She’s kinda new to sex, she’s had a fling or two but nothing long term so now she really has to get this shit down

-She’s the top, i said what i said 

-Joel has walked in on you two lots of times 

-”Hey elli... OH FUCK. SORRY, I’m sorry.” He says while covering his eyes 

-You both have to stop for a minute just to laugh your asses off 

-Y’all were really loud too so like y’all got complaints a lot 

-”Sorry, Y/n came over for a minute.” Ellie says busting through the door 

-”Yeah i know, i heard y’all.” Joel joked 

-She makes really bad cheesy pick up lines to you 

-”You know I’m jealous of your heart, because it’s pumping in and out of you and I’m not.” 

-”I’m literally gonna break up with you.’ 

-She never fails to make you laugh

-Her with her fucking puns mama, you can’t hide from her silly side

-Joel is a proud dad, he loves his lesbian daughter and her girlfriend 

-Later on into the relationship ellie fully opens up to you 

-You were tracing her tattoo one day, feeling the bumpiness of it 

-”What happened?’ 

-She debated on telling you, Joel said not to tell anyone 

-She gave in through, telling you about riley, her immunity, her and Joel's trip, even David 

-She ended up crying, you’ve never seen her that broken down before 

-You held her most the day, giving her all the kisses she needed 

-When Joel died, you were basically always with her. Not wanting to leave her alone 

-You were the one that found them. You shook ellie awake,  Letting her sob into your shirt 

-You brought her home, she could barely move. She was in so much shock and pain 

-You cleaned her up and took days off of rounds just to lay in bed with her all day 

-The nights were the worst 

-She would wake up in tears, sweat drenched her body. She would bury her face into her chest, crying her eyes out 

-”I saw him. All the blood..” 

-”I know baby, it’s okay. I’m here.” 

-you guys were still so in love with each other at 20, maybe even more if that was possible 

-The trip to Seattle and trying to kill Abby really brought y’all even closer, seeing sides of each other you guys never had 

-The fear and the defeat you both felt on that trip, it made ellie more in love with you that you stayed 

-You two lived in a small farmhouse after the trip to Seattle, it was nice and quiet 

-You lived like two cottagecore lesbians out in the middle of nowhere, it was a good change 

-Ellie would love to paint you with flowers, she found that you and flowers together created a perfect masterpiece 

-Ellie was kinda a city girl so you had to teach her a lot of stuff, you mostly read books about farms because you didn’t have a clue either 

-You guys lived without pants, like no one was there to see y’all, no one to impress so like fuck it, who needs pants 

-Ellie loved waking up to you in the kitchen, with messy hair and nothing but her t-shirt on.... Yes please 

-To save water y’all would take baths together, it mostly always turned into bath sex 

- Ellie was glued to your side, like wherever you went she was there with you 

-She was very distracting, always kissing up your neck or moving your hips on hers 

-I swear this woman was distracting without meaning to be 

-When she was doing farm work and her tattoo would stand out, it made you want to jump on her every single time 

-Sex with her back then  was great but sex with her now was so much better 

-She really matured a lot, she knew what she wanted and just how to do it 

-Your pleasure came first to her, she loved the feeling of being able to pleasure you 

-Don’t worry, you didn’t leave her out. You made sure she felt just as good as you 

-She wasn’t shy so dirty talk was her thing 

-”Just one more time baby, i wanna see you cum on my fingers one more time.” I’m so gross im sorry AHDS

-She would fuck you on literally everything in the house 

-No one was near to hear y’all and y’all could do it anywhere and at anytime, it was fucking heaven for y’all 

-Y’all were together a lot and although ellie loved it, she knew you liked your alone time 

-She would go into her painting room and play guitar or draw, doing anything to keep her busy 

- After a hour or two went by you would come in and sit on her lap, hinting that  you were getting a bit lonely 

-You were always there for her when she went through her attacks, telling her it was going to be okay and you were here with her 

-”Y/N! I- I can’t.. can’t breath.” 

-”Ellie baby, you're okay. just keep taking deep breaths for me, okay?”

-Seeing her like this broke your heart but you were nothing but patient with her,  she was really thankful for that 

-You never talked about joel or even riley, you knew those were sensitive topics so when she did talked about them you listened and allowed her to rant 

-”You know, I think Riley would’ve really liked you.” 

-”You think so?” 

-”Yeah, she would’ve liked your weird taste in music.’ 

-Ellie dreamed about what it would've been like in a normal world

-She could see you two meeting at a movie theater, hitting it off and eventually getting married, Maybe adopting a kid or two

-She was so in love with you, no matter what you looked like or what your body type was. She loved you 

-

-

-

!Credits to gif owner!

[carnoshin]

hh im kinda new to this so i hope it's okay! how would bubba, billy and stu (poly if that's okay?) and brahms react to having like, a super affectionate s/o who often shys away when she thinks shes being too clingy? thank u! love ur stuff!! ♡

U are an angle, omg thank uuuu

Also, I know that life, bro. Got long, so it’s under the cut~ 

(...Assuming ‘the cut’ doesn’t decide to not work on mobile. For the fifth time.)

Bubba

He can’t get enough affection ever-- even if he’s mid-kill and you’re like “Bubba, I’m gonna kiss you.” he’ll stop dead in his tracks and get that much needed love from you.

It’s probably not Bubba who makes you feel like you’re being clingy, but his brothers. Drayton and Chop-Top especially: sometimes they can get a little too harsh.

Usually Bubba isn’t one to initiate physical affection, so if you suddenly stop touching him, he'll just be plain confused. 

He’ll follow you around and grab the back of your clothes, but he won’t even imply that he’s asking anything. Even if you ask him “What?” he’ll just stare at you nervously and try to figure out how to show what he wants to ask without embarrassing himself, which usually just ends in you turning away to return to what you were doing.

The thing he struggles the most with initiating is holding hands, funnily enough: he doesn’t mind coming up behind you to hug you or petting your hair (given the right atmosphere), but trying to hold your hand is nerve-wracking for him.

He’ll think you’re upset with him, that maybe he did something wrong and you don’t like him anymore-- like I’ve said before, he’s quick to catastrophize. He’s just like a kicked puppy.

If he can get the nerve, he’ll slip his hand into your’s and just. Wait for you to say something, anything.

Billy+Stu (Ghostface)

Both of these boys are kind of clingy themselves, Stu especially.

Billy is more likely to act cool and collected, but he’s totally freaking out (in a good way) internally. He’ll never complain about you being sweet on him.

It probably grosses out their friends how lovey-dovey you three can be. Billy will tell you to ignore them, Stu will call them jealous-- that’s always how it goes.

Maybe one time Stu pulls away from an embrace too fast or he rushes out of bed and forgets to say anything to the extent of “I’ll be right back, I love you, I’ll miss you” or whatever. Or that happens multiple times in a row. Since Stu is so affectionate in the first place, it’s kind of off-putting when he just. Isn’t affectionate?

Billy gives off a certain vibe. That vibe being “back tf off.” He’s got resting bitch face, so. Ya know.

They won’t notice at first-- it’s a three-person relationship, so it can be a bit hard to pick something up when 2/3 people are acting like usual. The boys are probably just as cuddly as usual too with each other, so. It can certainly feel like being a... Third wheel in a two-person relationship.

They’ll only notice after you cancel two dates in a row, at which point they will more or less force their way into talking with you. These dumbasses will absolutely use the phrase “Can we talk about something?” before pulling you aside to show their genuine concern.

Even if you’re not a crier (God, what’s that like? Is it nice?), they’ll act like you are when you’re explaining why you have been withdrawing your affection. Even if you’re more than emotionally alright by the time the conversation is over, you’ll end up at Stu’s place to be Held(TM).

(Honestly, the boys can be quick to forget what your specific brand of presence+touch is like, so they’re just. In heaven. When you’re being affectionate again.)

Brahms

This boy is touch-starved. He almost melts into any physical attention he gets. He craves attention in general.

It’ll take him a while to notice that you’re not returning his touch. Because he will seriously press himself to you that much. Plus, he has no shame when it comes to asking for affection, though he usually just does it in one word: “hug?” or “kiss.”

(Sidenote: “kiss” is almost always a demand, whereas “hug” is almost always a request.)

He will notice if you start to avoid him. Pretty immediately. After all, it takes conscious effort to do it: going outside more often, shutting and/or locking doors, going into rooms that don’t connect to the crawlspace, etc.

As such, he’ll basically. Talk to you within the day. He doesn’t like being seen when he’s speaking, however, so he’ll ask why you’re avoiding him from outside the closed door of a room you’re in.

He’d be very intentional in every word he says-- in the last several hours this has been happening, he’s been thinking over what exactly to say and he’s wound down from being so annoyed he’s almost angry to genuinely afraid you’re going to leave him. 

Being violent didn’t work with Greta, so he imagines it wouldn’t work with you either-- what worked with Greta was standing outside the door and asking her why she wasn’t following the rules. So that’s what he’ll do with you too.

If you just unlock the door and head back to sit down, he’ll immediately come over and practically envelope you in a hug. First, he’ll move your hands to hold him. If you’re still hesitant about actually touching him, he’ll just say “Please. Hold me.” in the quietest little voice-- his adult voice, which he specifically doesn’t like using.

If he’s having a particularly bad day (as in his behavior is just terrible) or if his first attempt doesn’t convince you, he might just forgo all this and wait until you’re moving between rooms before holding you so tightly it hurts-- which is very much his intention. And he’ll very lowly ask you-- not even in his child voice, which is honestly the main way you know he’s serious and that a situation may be dangerous-- “what exactly is it you think you’re doing?” or something along those lines. Note that he’s holding you so tightly that it’s hard to breathe, so you probably can’t respond either. 

This whole encounter is basically a warning from him-- he’s one entitled little bastard and sometimes it can come from nowhere. He’ll then release his grip and act like nothing happened, then ask for you to hug him-- most likely by stretching his arms out and tilting his head, not actually saying anything verbally.

If you reject him there, he will pause for a second before starting to sob. Whether it’s real or not is up for debate, but he doesn’t exactly know what to do at that point. He doesn’t want to hurt you, frankly-- the thought of getting angry and hurting you scares him.

Hopefully, you’re holding him by now, because otherwise he’s going to be wailing the entire night-- again, whether it’s real or not is up for debate. At worst, he’ll intentionally hurt himself so that you’ll touch him.

[tonysrhodeys]

AVENGERS ENDGAME THOUGHTS

AVENGERS ENDGAME SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!!!

Having watched it twice, I can finally write down all of my thoughts. This will be long.

I was already done when I watched the opening credits. They’re beautiful.

I loved Tony and Nebula’s relationship. He’s honestly the father she never had. I’m always happy to see irondad so I was in a good mood for one second there. She let him eat. Character development and you can see the impact that he has had on her.

CAROL DANVERS SAVED TONY STARK AND I LOVE HER EVEN MORE

Steve shaved his beard because his husband was coming back home

Steve ran towards to Tony as soon as he landed. My stevetony heart was already satisfied. He just caught him. And they connected for a moment there. There’s just so much love in Steve’s eyes. They were beautiful.

Tony going off on all them (except Carol because he loves her) and they LET him! They know that they were wrong and they should have listened to him. Honestly Steve was in so much pain but he let it happen. It just showed that all they both needed was to be together. I loved that reference. Followed by Tony giving Steve the arc reactor. The entire scene was just powerful and tense. They were both in so much pain and needed to hug.

“I went for the head” yes honey! Well done!

MORGAN STARK “I’m saved” how beautiful? I just can’t with this cuteness.

Steve saying thank you. He’s actually adorable.

I just want to say thank you to Thor. It was amazing to see him with PTSD because it was shocking. He’s a god. But he lost so much I totally understood. I think people handled it terribly by turning him into a joke when it so much more than that. I just really wish that he and Tony could have had a talk. They could actually help each other. Nobody takes it seriously. They’re precious.

I have no words on Bruce.

I feel like I was the only one who didn’t hate Ronin? I mean a handful of them have all done some pretty terrible things but they’re still there. Clint was definitely harder, but he was still there. I mean I liked this kind of dark persona thing. Maybe it’s just me and my messed up taste.

“Shit”

Thank you Morgan Stark for this wonderful new way to say I love you. I love you 3000. It’s actual beauty.

THE E TRON RETURNS

The new shield! I mean my amazement in Tony will never end. Is this what was referred to in Homecoming? I mean I hope so. He’s always working on things for the team. He’s just so caring and no matter the situation he is just looking out for them. How can you devote your life to him? He is perfect.

STEVE AND TONY FORGIVENESS Steve just looked so in love with Tony the entire movie. Just stevetony at its best. They are just so adorable. It always looked like Steve wanted to say something. It’s just perfect. My ship.

“And not die trying” (not exact quote but you get it)

Also, Scott. So many Scott’s. And just a general appreaction for Scott and the rat that saved the universe. Scott eating a sandwich. Scott losing his taco and getting a new one from Bruce. Scott was just a gem okay.

A mini section of tinkering which is something I loved in the IM movies.

Ratchet.

WHATEVER IT TAKES

2012 AVENGERS okay but nostalgia hit me like a damn truck. I loved this movie so much and it was my favourite for ages because it had these amazing characters coming together to fight an amazing character. I honestly adored this movie. Seeing it was just too much. THE ICONIC ORIGINAL SIX AVENGERS CIRCLE. I wanted them to recreate it but this also worked so freaking well!

Hulk smash. Or not.

“America’s ass”

General appreciation of his ass. Tony has been checking Steve out since 2012. Steve checking himself out. This entire thing was just wonderful. I was dying. Stevetony flirting was on point.

STEVE! “Hail hydra” like yes! You don’t even need to fight because you’re just so smart! I was so proud. THAT SMIRK. He’s grown so much.

2012!Steve vs 2023!Steve. Steve is literally so done with himself and I loved it! “You’ve got to be shitting me” “I can do this all day” “yeah I know” the iconic steve line made 3000 times better. Steve is done with himself and that was just wow. I adored this! Then 2023!Steve was losing (which I don’t get because he should have become a better fighter and 2012!Steve handed him his ass) and he just used Bucky! I mean! He literally doesn’t care about this Steve at all. I am here for it. I love this. This entire scene was golden. Steve was golden.

STEVE AND TONY HAVING A MOMENT AND SCOTT THIRD WHEELING. I mean my stevetony heart was bursting. They couldn’t heart Scott because they were too busy staring into each other’s eyes. I loved the way they strategised together. Steve wasn’t even mad that Tony and Scott messes up. He’s just full with so much love. “Do you trust me” “I do”

2012!Loki STEALING MY HEART AGAIN. I was the only person just clapping my boy. I missed him so much! I loved this version of him. He was craftier. He was still just so adorable. I mean transforming into cap again. Rolling his eyes. Being the only one to see the case slide. USING HIS HEAD AND GETTING HIMSELF OUTTA THERE! I love this! I love him!

Also Thor was a sweetheart

Stephen Strange is the the best of them. I agree.

Can someone please explain to me how it was actually possible that Rocket and Bruce were the only ones to not mess up? What?

NAT! I still cried. She was the first MCU female superhero and she has been there ever since. She’s strong and powerful and the the original. I always knew it was going to be her because obviously she would beat Clint in the fight. But that scene was so difficult to watch. The way she is so prepared to die for her family. She took her last stand and I will never not be grateful and proud. She’s really come so far!

The funeral brought even more tears. It was a wonderful albeit short tribute to her. She’s the mom of the group, always picking up after her boys. I’m going to miss her so much. This legacy of women in the mcu is thanks to her. THEY WERE HER FAMILY. Thor refusing to acknowledge her death because he literally couldn’t take anymore. All of this.

Back to 1970. Steve and Tony against the world with their one (1) shared brain cell. I mean “Howard” and “Captain Stevens” SHIELD is lucky not to have them. I am glad that Tony got what he deserved, an honest conversation with his father. He just deserves the entire world.

“That’s my man” that’s my ship.

THE MCU GOLDEN TRIO GOING TO SHOW THANOS. I loved this team up. They’re just the three most powerful people I’ve ever met. I was so here for that hot second where they all fought together. It was just the three of them but my heart is with all of them.

Since when does a blow knock Tony out for that long? I was worried.

Why couldn’t Thor summon Mjolnir?

Instead Steve had to come out of hiding

BECAUSE STEVE IS FUCKING WORTHY. oh my! I was literally squealing in my seat. It was definitely one of the top moments of the entire movie. He just caught it and I could not believe it (I could, I mean of course) Thor is such a fake, as if he was not peeing his pants when Mjolnir moved a smidge in AOU. BUT OH MY GOD I LOVED STEVE SO DAMN MUCH. JUST IMMENSE PRIDE. He was just fighting THANOS on his own and he was doing so well! I was so proud. Just throwing them back and forth. Power.

And then he tightened his shield and got ready to fight that entire army and I was just like honey no. I know you’re worthy. I know you’re pretty freaking strong. But honey, you cannot take them all on. Please leave. I refuse to see you die like this. Steve I love you.

“On your left”

STEPHEN CREATING A THOUSAND PORTALS I LOVE HIM

“Avengers...assemble”

“Lexy...die” (basically)

THIS ENTIRE FIGHT SCENE MADE MY ENTIRE LIFE there was so much power and awesome in that one scene. I could not contain my excitement.

THE HUG. It was nice nice indeed

“Clint” T’Challa did care

Pepper and Tony. Tony and Strange.

ALL THE WOMEN PROTECTING QUEENS BECAUSE HE IS THEIR SON.

Carol and peter!

ALL THE WOMEN VS THE WORLD! There was so much power and strength in that moment. It was amazing to see so many female superheroes band together like that. The only thing was that Nat was missing. She deserved to be there since she was there at the start and this was basically her line. It was pretty much a tribute to her and I could manage that.

I ALMOST FORGOT WANDA TERRIFYING THANOS SO MUCH THAT HE HAD TO ORDER THEM TO FIRE I mean he pissed off the wrong woman

Also Stephen holding back all that water.

THE FINAL SCENE OF THE GOLDEN TRIO

STEPHENS BLOODY FINGER

“I...AM...IRON MAN”

And in that moment I died. I jumped straight into my grave. It was the most iconic line of the entire MCU. Just hearing him say it brought me to tears. It was the most powerful moment of the entire movie. It was all leading up that. It started with him and it ended with him. He defeated his demons and it was fucking amazing for that second. That second was just pure pride. I was just thankful.

But then came the sobs. I mean I’ve already said my piece but this is just extra because I really could go on forever. I cannot even begin to explain the literal grief I feel. I mean I’m still crying. He literally my life, my anchor, my entire world. I love him so much. It completely ended and rocked my universe to see this. It was poetic and obviously predictable but still! I mean I feel like a part of him was prepared to make that sacrifice. After the delicacy which was putting it on the dauntless the first time, are you telling me that his suit was not prepared to do this super fancy swap of stones? He was prepared. It’s just him. Tony is the person to give up his life for everyone else and it is why I love him so much. He’s got the biggest heart. He was always going to sacrifice himself to save everybody. It’s just in his blood. It’s in him. It’s what makes him him. I felt intense grief and hopeless but also immense pride. He is a true hero.

He was surrounded by the people he loved the most. Rhodey, Pepper, Morgan, Steve and Thor. It was the most intense scene. There was so much pain and anguish. He couldn’t even say a proper goodbye. His guilty smile. He had nothing to be guilt for. He singlehandedly saves the universe. He was the reason everybody was alive. He can rest. It was honestly such an important line because he would never rest unless he knew that everybody was safe. Unless he knew that people would no longer need him to save them. He needed to know that he was leaving a better world. It just made me so mad. He deserved so much better. He finally found happiness. But he couldn’t rest. I mean I’m not okay but I will be. He’s okay. He can finally rest after all of those years of pain and suffering. He can just take the good parts. He’s okay.

His speech at the end. It was to them and to us. I know. The same people who were with him during his death + Happy. The funeral itself just made me sob even harder than I was.

I LOVE YOU 3000

PROOF THAT TONY STARK HAS A HEART

Please kill me now

Everybody was there. Rhodey, Pepper, Morgan, Happy, Peter And Steve at the front. They loved him the most. God, it just broke my heart. I mean HARLEY KEENER. Thank you for coming! Nick! Must have been so hard for him to. I mean imagine what a wreck Nat would have been. She’s looked after him forever. But hey, at least they’re together now. But she’d be so mad! He was supposed to be happy.

Asguardians of the galaxy vol 3 please.

The speech. PART OF THE JOURNEY IS THE END. I mean it was RDJ’s goodbye to the MCU. He’s been here since the beginning. This era began and ended with him. He started everything and he has carried this franchise ever since. He was always there. He always stole the show. He always had my heart. He always made me happy. I literally cannot imagine more movies without him. What is the MCU without him? I mean, none of us really have any idea. He is the MCU. He is Iron Man. I’m just so grateful to have been born in a world with RDJ as Tony Stark. He will always be the best. I will always love him until the end of the time. He is my entire world.

THE END CREDITS! As if I was not crying enough. The entire movie was just a tribute to the original six and just a thank you for all the work they put in to get us here. They were the centre of the MCU and they needed a proper send off. And this was it. This movie had everything I could have ever wanted. Stevetony, avengers assemble, irondad, i am iron man, I can do this all day but 3000 times better, subtle ironstrange (friendship at the very least), cap being worthy, Loki, every character making an appearance. I honestly loved this movie. And I loved that it was for the original six. They were the main focus and I loved it. It was always about them. I am forever grateful for their hard work. Seeing RDJ at the end just made it worse.

The CLANKING OF THE ARMOUR starting and ending with him I actually can’t breathe

Just thank you MCU, Original Six Avengers, Iron Man.

I love them all 3000

(Apologies for the millions of typos that are all there)