#im going to properly start numbering these in a sec

[dailyheavymedic]

day 105

[beababoobies]

hii i hope ur day/night is going good! can please u write a oneshot type fic where sal and reader go to a drive-in theater and are being cutsey idiots in love ? :3

hello hun! Im alright, work has me stressing unfortunately. I’d love to do that for you! Sorry this took so long, I hope you still enjoy!

Crash Into Me - Sal Fisher X GN!Reader

words: 0.7k

“You know, I’m still hurt you wouldn’t let me drive.” You say with a small chuckle, resting back in your seat while your boyfriend pulls into the theatre, one hand on the steering wheel and one on your thigh as he finds a good spot to watch the movie from. “Number one” he starts as he backs the car up slightly, giving you both a good view of the giant projector screen, movie not have even started yet.

“you do not even have your license. And before you say anything, I know Larry has been teaching you on his gross old truck on the dirt roads, but I don’t even trust him to drive.” He says with a soft sigh as he puts the car in park, pulling the key from the ignition.

“For your information, Sally, Larry is a wonderful driver. He has only crashed into three trees and one electric pole.” You say defensively, taking off your seatbelt before slouching into yourself as you realized exactly how much that statement probably only made your argument worse. Sal looked over at you and you could pretty much feel the harsh judgment through the mask.

“fine, whatever.” You mutter quickly, leaning over and giving him a quick peck on the cheek, causing him to roll his eye. “I’m much too cute to get my license, for your information.” You say with a sarcastic dismissive wave of your hand, opening the car door, leaning back in for a sec. “Cmon, let’s sit on the roof. It’ll be romantic.” You say with a wink, and Sal dejectedly sighed as he took off his seatbelt.

You carefully hoisted yourself onto the roof of his old car, sitting yourself comfortably as you watched your boyfriend do the same, pulling himself up and sitting next to you, resting his head on your shoulder lazily as you sat back on one hand, the other running carefully through his hair.

You were right, this setup was perfect and romantic. Until about halfway through the movie, when it started absolutely pouring.

You and Sal had rushed back into the backseat of the car, giggling and completely soaking from the rain, leaning against each other as you watched the projector start to flicker, movie no longer visible from the rain pouring onto the windshield. He pealed his soaked prosthetic off of his face, chuckling softly, strands of his wavy blue hair stuck to his forehead and the sides of his face. The smile on your face stuck as you watched in awe of how absolutely lucky you were.

“I wouldn’t call - call that romantic.” He said between laughs, wiping away a stray tear from the bottom of his eye, before properly looking up at you, smile faltering slightly as he notices your staring, tilting his head.

“what’cha looking at?” He says with a smile, and you purse your lips together, the smile on your face refusing to fall as you leaned in, his eye falling to your lips. “Somethin’ pretty.” You responded with a small chuckle, before placing a gentle kiss on his scarred lips, returned eagerly and quickly as his hands scrambled to find the back of your head, pushing you into the kiss further, humming against your lips contently.

You kissed for minutes that felt like seconds, lovingly and completely trapped in the moment, the rain beating down on Sal’s car like music, until there was a small tap on the window right behind your head, making your jump and pull apart, Sal scrambling to find his mask and you rolling down the window slightly to find a tired drive-in theatre worker, draped in a rain poncho with a flashlight. It was only then when you realized that the rest of the lot had been cleared out, and you were the only two remaining.

“Sorry to bother y’all but the movie has been cancelled ‘cus of the rain. I’m going to have to ask you to leave, but you have a.. free movie on us the next time you come ‘round. Have yourselves a nice night.” They grumbled out tiredly and you nodded, rolling up the window as they walked away, looking back over at Sal, who was red as a tomato, prosthetic on the front seat, and you both looked at each other for a second, before bursting out into another fit of giggles.

“stop! Stop it, that - that was not that funny.” You protested, but only through chuckles of your own, climbing into the passengers seat after he climbed into the drivers, still chuckling into his palm, nodding. “You’re right - I’m sorry, I- no, that was unbelievably romantic. Thank you my love.” He teased with a smile as he leaned over and kissed the blush back onto your cheeks.

~ twas short, I do admit. But I’m gonna be honest with y’all… no I’m not. ENJOY!

[theunconcernedembalmer]

ok i got the aesvic out of my system now time to pick apart the letter n why i wont really be following aesops diary exactly here. literally no one asked but i wanted to get my thoughts down somewhere cos i have. a lot

just gonna put a quick rundown of aesops diary entry as a refresher (mostly for myself so i dont miss anything): he dreamt that he was helping jerry with what was probably a murder n was affirmed n he thinks its a sign congratulating him on carrying out his duty. over the years, he carries out his duties as an undertaker n comes to the manor looking for a “fresh start” aka what sounds like his first victim. according to aesop, said victim should be quiet, n potential victim number 1 is victor. something about badly needing him to become his “silent friend” n he mentions he’ll get to wick n the 2 other survivors in due time, but for now he’s very eager to start his “mission”.

im generally okay with the letter (i have seen so many fights over this aha) cos there is no surprise he wants to kill ppl (ppl who r fighting over this point. did u even read his deductions?? guy happily killed his mentor??). but i didnt quite like the fact that he still looks up to jerry (although. i guess thats valid i just. dont like it). i was also initially kind of confused about the real reason why he would want to kill ppl since as u progress through the letter it sounds less like he kills for duty (cos of the whole dream thing at the start) but more “because i want to :)��, which is an okayish edgy kinda take imo. like not that u cant characterize aesop as Kill Kill Murder Die, but i kinda find that. pretty boring in the long term.

im just gonna put what my original take on aesop was, like all of it. first off, he hates jerry. u cannot tell me a psychotic serial killer like that can raise a child without emotional trauma. like any child, this isnt even counting the extra damage done because hes autistic. (n i also hc that aesop has read his moms letter to him at some point, n he should have come to the conclusion that it was somewhat also jerrys fault, whether through logic or denial that his mom would want to leave him, so that just adds to it.) but as much as he hates him, his teachings are the only ones hes been exposed to, n its been so ingrained in him since young so even if he hates jerry he would still subscribe to whatever twisted ideology jerry was feeding him, which ill get to in a sec.

going through his accessories, he has that origami that he folds for each of his clients, n it shows that underneath it all, aesop is still kind. this isnt expected of him n its definitely not part of his job scope as an embalmer. he (still?) has the heart to wish the best for those that have departed n takes the time n effort to fold one for each n every client he sends off, which is probably a lot. so going off on that, my hc is that jerry, being the manipulative asshole that he is (who probably definitely manipulated his mom into indirect suicide) probably used his kindness against him to make him believe that by murdering ppl he is helping them, framing all of his serial kills as a sort of mercy kill (like his mom). so the thing that aesop takes away from all this is the very twisted logic that by killing ppl he is helping them, therefore being a good embalmer and a good person in general. n everyone wants to be a sort of good person, or at least for aesop that is part of his job description to be a good embalmer. n we all know aesop is very serious about his job.

i also hc that he has killed several ppl between killing jerry n coming to the manor, cos i follow the story that he took the invitation from that poor lady n thats how he ended up at the manor. surely the lady didnt come to him right after jerry died?? but anyway, the way i see it is that he thought he liked to kill. like he finally truly understood why jerry kills so much (which is interesting now that i think about it. guy really just went along with all those murders without truly believing huh), because it felt good to kill. at least thats what he thought, the revelation that killing felt good n is good, but i say its because he hated jerry, n offing someone u kinda hate should probably feel pretty gucci. n its also so much easier to pick clients off the streets than in the manor, so i would think that he has killed ppl like his mentor did, but each time he did the great feeling that came with ending ppls life just. wasnt as good as the first time round. it just became a sort of normal satisfaction of a successful embalming.

this can go two ways: 1. he keeps on killing to try to find that great feeling again, which is cool i guess (n probably what canon would want, except canon states that he hasnt killed since jerry), but id like to go with 2. he just stops because jerry isnt around to enforce it whenever he isnt feeling up to psychoing someone to their death (which is probably how jerry got his victims, n damn if that doesnt take a lot of mind games that i dont think aesop has the mental capacity for since half of it is fighting with his social anxiety n other issues. dealing with alive strangers?? no thanks?? i doubt he would have learnt properly how to lure in clients as efficiently as jerry because of this, mostly cos he was only needed for the murder afterparty aka embalming n funerals). n as much as he stays professional, there is no. professional way of gaslighting someone to their death.

(n also since ppl have pointed out that his twitter replies n other kinda informal stuff have shown that aesop does have reverent respect for life, which also adds to him not being so blindly bloodthirsty as implied in the letter. i dont really see the twitter replies as very canon, but it does make sense that he would come to revere life with his unique take and obsession over death, for one cannot exist without the other)

so this leads me to the motive that aesop brings to the manor, at least how i see it. he isnt exactly coming to the manor to kill per se (like from the very early story, he came to the manor to return the letter to a relative of the deceased lady, something about respecting her last wishes. something like that, its really been a while since i saw that exerpt), so like killing ppl isnt his main purpose of visit. its more of hes always on the lookout for weaker (or at least those that take less mind games to kill) people to mercy kill, n it just so happens that he knows the manor n his mentor almost died from there, so theres a pretty good chance he can find some ppl that fall into this category n so it just so happens that he also has a job to do there. its still counted as a Job for him since no ones gonna tell him that embalmers dont actually. murder. 

so in my version, aesop only tries to sway ppl that he knows he can convince, n these ppl would typically be those very sickly ones like his mom (andrew im looking at u) or those with an actual death wish/ very weak will to live. but here aesop is choosing his “first victim”, and the criteria for that is... quiet? never mind “not evading him” and “not cranky” being on the list too, but that isnt quite what i was expecting from someone so dedicated to their duty of murder. sure he wants an easy first kill, but like. i dont think its consistent if his motive was really to continue jerrys bastard legacy. especially when the next paragraph is essentially him gushing over victor, that... sort of implies something else. or at least in the way i see it, since i believe that canon wants us to think that aesop just really loves to kill.

aesop likes victor. very much so. so much till he wants to kill him. which i guess makes sense cos he likes death, n now he likes victor. so he just. puts the two things he likes together. whats better than victor? dead victor. anyway the rest of the letter is more like “whatever, i technically should kill the others too but my priority is victor” so like. he confuses his (dare i say) yandere tendencies with his duty since the end goal for both is a body in a coffin.

having said that. i know i have aesvic brainrot but i also know this is one sided as hell (at least from the letter alone, not counting the letter shaped cookies in his birthday art that apparently belonged to victors birthday cake aha) n lowkey alarming since. the goal is to kill victor. i kinda want to interpret it as him genuinely wanting to be friends with victor (really wanting him to be a “silent friend”, maybe cos he doesnt actually know how to be friends with living ppl n is better with dead ones? therefore victor should be dead to be friends?) but not knowing how to n throwing in his obsession with death ends up with. this minor disaster waiting to happen. but i uh. dont know if this is valid. its valid to me at least, with my original interpretation of aesop. n again cos of his ingrained professionalism, he also kinda sees this as part of his job to send ppl off, so its another plus. not for victor, tho.

idk if ill add this yandere side in my aesop. i mean my boi has technically tried to kill victor multiple times in the past HAHAHAHA. maybe like sometimes he can be a bit obsessive. as a treat. but generally nah cos thats definitely gonna end up in a murder somewhere somehow n i cant. just kill victors here on the ask blog scene lashjflkjhdlfkjhas

so yeah that kinda takes care of the last part of the letter, as for the first part. as much as aesop hates jerry, i would also think hes pretty starved for affirmation (like i said jerry isnt going to be a good parent figure ever) n i guess it makes sense if the only times jerry has ever complimented him was aiding him in his kills n hiding the evidence, which might (?) add to his desire to kill (but that probably dies with jerry aha). so the way i see it as aesop is getting affirmation n takes it as a good sign instead of. remotely liking jerry. idk if im stretching it a little but i really dont like the take where hes okay with jerry. anyway we are ignoring that he hasnt killed before entering the manor cos that doesnt quite make sense to me (i wasnt dreaming about the letter from a lady stabbed in the face 36 times or so right???? right???????)

im also not like. trying to defend him, im just trying to make sense of his diary. boi has issues n is a little too far gone (not as far as canon tho), in my take very deluded in his way of showing kindness. literally cool motive still murder (or in canon, just murder?), please get therapy. but i just dont really like the direction that the letter was originally trying to imply, with him really just hell bent on murder without like. a clear motive (at least to me it isnt very clear since the last part really doesnt sound consistent with his supposed intentions). i mean i love being edgy with aesop every now n then but i dont think it would make for meaningful characterizations in the long run so. ill still be sticking with my original take on aesop with maybe a bit of yandere for victor cos thats always fun

[outerspacesecrets-sanderssidesau]

Outer Space Secrets Part 2

Summary: Logan and Virgil are helped to escape the alien ship

TW: arguing, shrinking, panic attack, crying, u!patton

——————————————————————————————————

?/?/2020 ??:??

Logan woke up abruptly, the glass next to him was being rapidly hit by Virgil, who seemed to be in the middle of a panic attack, his state was enough to wake Logan up completely “Virgil, hey Virge, I need you to breath okay?” He said, resting his hand on the glass “You remember the pattern?” Virgil nodded and Logan started to count for him, his boyfriend followed and slowly managed to calm down ��V what happened?”

Virgil took some other deep breaths before answering “I-I... I t-think I’m s-shrinking...”

Logan was surprised, he clearly wasn’t expecting that “What? Virgil but that-“

“R-remember how y-yesterday I looked s-shorter?” He asked, interrupting Logan and continued when his boyfriend nodded “I w-woke up and...” he sniffed and cleaned some of his remaining tears, before extending his arm, his hoodie had always been a bit larger, enough to cover half of Virgil’s hand, but now, there was a part of the sleeve that dangled past his hand, way too larger than before “T-The sleeve is not the only thing, all my clothing seems to be l-larger... I s-started to panic after I realized”

Logan looked up and down his boyfriend’s body, his pants did look larger and his clothes baggier, but it was hard to see it while he was sitting “do you think you can stand?”

Virgil nodded and slowly stood up, leaning in the glass for extra support, he looked up at Logan, who stood up way faster than Virgil did, looked up, he had to look up at his boyfriend, who was usually shorter than him, Virgil felt his anxiety rising once more, he almost fell to the floor, leaning on the glass to keep him up instead.

“Virgil” Logan kneeled to be under Virgil’s eye level “Listen to me, please, I know this is scary, but you are not alone in this, I’m here with you, we’ll figure out whatever that’s happening here and whatever that’s happening to you, and we will fix it, I promise”

Virgil opened his eyes and looked at Logan between tears, forcing a small smile out “I-If I knew I w-was going t-to be stuck in an a-alien ship with someone, I’m glad it’s you Lo...” they looked at each other for a couple of seconds, Virgil raised an eyebrow once he noticed something strange “your... your ears”

“My ears? What are you talking about?” Virgil stood up properly and Logan did the same.

“They are... they are pointy” Logan grabbed his ears between his fingers, feeling them and confirming what Virgil said, they were no longer rounded, and just then, the lights turned on, and the little people walked into the room once more.

10/28/2019 02:33 pm

“Hey babe” said Virgil as he hugged Logan from behind while he looked for his stuff on his locker “ready to go home?”

Logan smiled as he stored some books on his backpacks “In a sec Virge”

“Sure, keep ignoring me skyscraper” said Jane closing her locker.

“Keep? Can I know what happened on your last class?” Logan asked, it hadn’t been long since Jane arrived, but her and Virgil had a great chemistry, platonically of course, they acted like they were friends since childhood, almost like siblings, sure, most of their relationship was Virgil teasing Jane with her height, since Virgil was really tall and she was really short, he constantly picked Jane up and they called each other several nicknames that Logan didn’t know where they were getting them from, because they had a new one every day.

“The midget here committed a crime” said Virgil, startling Logan for a second.

“The only thing I did was say I don’t really like Halloween”

Virgil gasped dramatically “I can’t believe I trusted such a monster”

Logan rolled his eyes “Stop being dramatic, I didn’t like Halloween when we started dating”

“And I changed that” he looked at Jane “if you only let me-“

“No, I’m not going to dress up for Halloween”

Virgil groaned and leaned on Logan, looking as he was about to throw a tantrum “Lo! Do something!”

“Virgil you are acting like a child, there is no reason for us to force Jane into liking something”

“Thank you Logan”

Virgil stood up properly and crossed his arms “Fine, but you’ve not been forgiven, I’ll get you back for this betrayal”

"Oh I'm so sc-!" Before she could finish, Virgil grabbed her legs and picked her up, carrying her on his shoulder and started to run out of the school "Virgil! Let me go!" She screamed and struggled on his grip.

Logan huffed and rolled his eyes, closing his locker to follow the other two, Virgil had stopped running but was now spinning slowly still carrying Jane “Curse you for being so tall!” She screamed as she struggled.

Virgil smirked and Logan stopped him before he could return the comment “V, put her down”

Virgil made an exaggerated sad face “But L, I’m having fun” Logan just gave him a dad look, or a listen to your boyfriend one “fine” he stopped spinning and left Jane in the floor.

“Thanks Lo” she said “now, if you don’t mind, I’m going home, see you tomorrow” she said and started to walk away.

11/28/2019 06:36 pm

Thanksgiving day, on a conversation days prior Jane had let slipped that she didn’t have anyone to spend it with, and now thre she was, at Logan’s front yard, debating with herself whether she rang the bell or she went back home alone, both Logan and Virgil spent thanksgiving with the other’s family, switching every year, and they had invited her, was she really that proud to just walk away and disappoint them?

Jane took a deep breath and walked forward a couple of steps, just to return to her previous spot shortly after, she was already here, she had taken the bus to Logan’s hometown and was literally in front of his house, why was this so hard?

She sighed and took her phone, facing to the street while she looked for Logan’s number, Jane called him and waited until he answered.

“Salutations” he said.

“Hey Lo, I’m sorry but... I don’t think I can make it to your place”

There was silence for a bit, but Jane could hear mumbles on the other side of the phone, she was about to speak again when Logan interrupted “Falsehood, you’ve been in the front yard for approximately 20 minutes, we can see you from the window” Jane looked back, noticing two figures behind the curtains “Why don’t you come in?” she turned back to face the street, trying to think on something to say.

“Honestly? I don’t know” she sighed “I guess it’s been so long since I actually was in a family, that I prefer stepping back before ruining it”

“Jane... but V wai-“ some movement could be heard on the other side.

Apparently Virgil took the phone away from Logan “Hey you listen, you are our guest, and do you know how rude it’s to keep us waiting?”

“Virgil I-“

“No, I don’t want any excuse, you’re going to talk to me about being anxious? I almost fainted the first time I came to this house, I know your mind it’s going trough every possible negative outcome, but I want you to ignore them, turn around and walk into the house with us, I promise, there’s nothing you can do that would make us hate you, not now, not tomorrow, and never, you are our friend, and you deserve to be surrounded by people who love you on this day as much as everyone else”

Jane didn’t even realized when the tears started leaving her eyes, she turned around to see bot Logan and Virgil waiting in the doorway “So? What do you say thumbelina?”

She snorted at the nickname and hung up the call, walking towards her friends, stopping just in front of them “Im in bigbird” and with that, Virgil pulled her and Logan into a group hug.

12/31/2019 11:35 pm

Thanksgiving with Logan’s moms had actually went excellent, but it still surprised Jane when they invited her to a family dinner once more, this time for Christmas with Virgil’s parents, and that had been delightful as well, Virgil’s dad was an awesome cook and she really enjoyed being part of a family once more.

Virgil and Logan used to spend New Year’s eve by themselves, but this year, Roman decided to throw a party on his parent’s house, nothing huge, only close and not so close friends, but since Roman was very popular, that would mean a ton of people were going, and somehow, Jane was in that list.

So there she was, out in the balcony staring at the night sky, an almost empty plastic cup on her hand, minutes way from starting 2020, and despite everything that happened the last few months, it seemed old habits died hard.

It has become a tradition since years now, to wish upon the stars at the edge of a year that came and went, as if that would actually grant what she asked for, she reached into her dress, taking out a golden chain that had a ring stuck on it and held it thigh on her fist.

“Hey babe, I know it’s probably not that close to the new year where you are but, you know I’ve been doing this for a while, hoping to actually see you again on this new year” she huffed, trying to keep the tears from falling “I like to think it will work someday, that someday will be together again, and no one will separate us this time, you would love it here, my male best friends are dating, and people like us are accepted, our community is very strong, and if you were here, we wouldn’t have to hide anymore, we both would be what we want to be, I know that’s more important to you than what it is for me... so,” she sniffed, looking down at her ring for a moment before returning her sight to the stars “I once again wish, and I once again hope, and I’ll keep that promise I made you years ago” she raised her cup towards the moon “for the new year my love” and she drank the last bit of punch that was on it.

“Aww, homesick?” A voice said from behind, Jane took her cup away and turned around, Patton, just great “Why don’t you do us all a favor and go back then?”

“Very funny Pat, both of us know that I’m dead the second I step back there, but I bet you would love that” Jane started to walk into the party again, just to be stopped by a tug on her necklace.

Patton took the ring between his fingers, recognizing some of the materials used on it “I thought you hadn’t been able to snuck anything out, but why risking something as valuable as this by taking it with you?”

That was the drop that spilled the glass, Jane turned to Patton and snatched her ring out of his grasp “None. Of. Your. Damn. Business.” She looked up at him, and if looks could kill, Patton would have been dead so long ago.

“Ow, did I touch a nerve?” He said smirking.

“Ow, sweet Patton-cake want’s to talk about nerves? Because I know some that I could make you remember if you want”

“Jane” a third voce interrupted, Jane looked back at the door of the balcony and saw Logan standing there “Virgil wanted to know where you were, you know he gets a bit anxious at parties”

“Right, sorry, I just needed some fresh air”

Logan looked at who was next to her “Oh, salutations Patton, I was not aware you were in this party”

“Me neither” said both Patton and Jane at the same time, they really had to stop doing that.

One guy was walking around the room interrupted them, telling everyone to go back inside to start with the countdown “I guess we better go” said Jane as she walked with Logan back to the party, ready to start the new year.

01/08/2020 10:37 am

Logan and Virgil were making out in the steps, Logan sitting on Virgil’s lap with his arms around his boyfriend’s neck, something that was not unusual, was what unexpected, was the voice that suddenly interrupted them “ew get a room loving birds”

They pulled apart to see Jane, they knew she wasn’t bothered by the signs of affection they gave to each other, but that didn’t stop her from teasing “You’re just jealous because you’re lonely” and it didn’t stop Virgil from teasing back either.

“Don’t be so sure about that” she said sitting next to them.

Logan raised an eyebrow and climbed down of Virgil’s lap “Are you implying you do have a couple?”

Jane’s eyes went wide, she hadn’t really thought about it before saying it “I-I didn’t say that”

“Oh J you’re terrible at lying” Virgil laid on the step he was sitting in with his stomach facing down, a smirk on his face “so the smurf is not forever alone as I thought”

Jane looked away and crossed her arms blushing “There’s a lot that you don’t know about me, thank you very much”

“Why didn’t you tell us before?” asked Logan.

“I just thought it wasn’t relevant”

“Well, you’re not going to get away that easily not that we know, tell us more about them”

She looked back to her friends, them knowing didn’t hurt right? She just had to disguise the truth once more, she sighted and finally spoke “Her, she uses she/her, and she’s the most beautiful girl in the entire universe” Jane smiled, not even noticing it.

“ooooooh” said Virgil, clearly teasing his friend “what’s her name?”

Jane thought for a moment, the translation would be “Phoebe, tho she doesn’t have a last name”

“How come?” Asked Logan.

“She’s an orphan and never got adopted, we met in boarding school while I was on an exchange in Europe, she basically lives there and, since I came back, I don’t actually get to see her”

Logan and Virgil turned to see each other once they saw Jane’s smile dropping “Is there any chance that the reason you didn’t want to talk about her, was because it hurts being apart?” Asked Logan.

“Maybe, I see you two being happy together, and it’s not your fault but, I just... miss her a lot everyday”

Virgil sat and got closer to his friend “I can’t say I know how it feels, I can’t even imagine living apart from Logan, but we’re here to help you, to support you” he curled his arm around her neck and pulled her close “no matter what”

Jane smiled up at him “thanks...m-my dad wasn’t supportive at all when I came out, and as soon as he found out I had a girlfriend, he got me out of that school and I moved out as soon as I arrived here, but I had no way enough money to go with her, so I just got here, as far as I could from him, hoping that we can be together again one day”

Logan sat on the opposite side next to Jane, putting a hand on her shoulder, not being very good with physical affection “you will”

Jane turned to smile to him “Thanks again, for listening”

“No prob Bob” said Virgil, getting a small laugh out of Jane’s lips

01/17/2020 11:15 am

“Alright alright, you win, vampires do exist” said Jane, she was laying down on one of the steps, their usual spot to eat, Virgil was laying two steps under her playing with a rubber ball and Logan was sitting in the step between them next to them typing on his laptop.

“Are you saying it just to shut me up?” Asked Virgil.

“We’ve been discussing for half an hour of course I said it to shut you up” she smirked feeling Virgil’s glare “but your points do make sense”

Virgil sighed, figuring that was the best he was going to get to “alright, your turn”

Jane hummed, thinking for a moment “Mermaids”

“No” said Virgil.

“What? Why not?” She asked eating a cookie

“I just don’t think they exist, it’s not logical”

“Actually” said Logan, not looking up from his laptop “Approximately 80% of the ocean is unexplored territory, so we can not discard te possibility of mythical or strange creatures living on them”

Jane swallowed the cookie she was eating “Thanks Logan, and for you” she turned to see Virgil “Ha”

“Logan explained, so this win goes to him, so don’t be so happy about it” he threw the ball up again, waiting to catch it once it fell “Lo, your turn”

Logan looked up from his work “I thought I was not participating in this conversation”

“C’mon, you made Jane win so easily, give me something to debate about”

Logan sighed “You two just like to argue, but fine, aliens”

Jane tried not to choke on her food “Definitely” said Virgil “What do you think pigmy?”

“I-“ she could end it just agreeing, but for some reason she said “No”

“What? Are you serious?” Virgil sat and looked at her “Is the exact same as with the mermaids, literally the whole galaxy is unexplored territory! You can’t tell me they don’t exist”

Jane sat too, but avoided Virgil’s gaze “It’s not the same, we know that there are creatures that can live underwater, but not if there are creatures that can survive in space” she looked at Logan who looked like he was about to say something “without any equipment” said Jane, Logan closed his mouth and continued working.

“Why are you suddenly so skeptical? aside from the vampires you had agreed that everything else existed”

Jane shrugged and crossed her arms “I just think it’s not possible, the Earth is the only habitable planet that we know about, and if there is another one it would be mals and mals away from here, there’s not way of knowing”

“Mals?” Asked both Logan and Virgil.

“Miles” Jane corrected “I meant miles”

The bell sounded, Jane grabbed the envelope of her cookies and her backpack before standing up “We better get to class”

Virgil groaned “Fine, but we’re not done yet!”

“Yeah, yeah, see ya later aligator” she said as she walked to her class

2:32 pm.

Virgil ran towards Jane and Logan’s lockers “Guys!” He said excited “Guess what I just heard” he leaned in the locker next to Jane’s.

“Now what?” She asked

“This people in my class were talking this thing that appeared on the woods behind the school, and it’s supposed to be an alien ship”

Logan sigher and closed his locker “V, I know we were talking about it earlier, but assuming there is such thing as an alien ship around is a complete different thing”

“Just hear this, remember the blackout of a couple of days ago” he continued once the others nodded “What do you think that caused it? And, they were saying that their phones started glitching once they got close to one specific point, all of hose things can’t be just coincidence”

“But we still can’t assume there is a supernatural force behind all of it”

“That’s why we’re going to investigate”

“Wait what?” Asked Jane, who had remained silent until this moment.

Virgil nodded excited “we’ll be the first ones to see a real life ovni! And it’ll be a great chance to prove miss skeptical here, that I was right”

“It would certainly be interesting to analyze the anomalies that are happening” said Logan, thinking for a moment “alright, I’ll go with you”

Virgil smiled and turned to Jane “and you? You are not scared of being wrong right?”

Jane sighed “I am not” she said closing her locker “but I have a ton of homework, I don’t think I’ll be able to make it”

“We can inform you of the results once we come back” said Logan.

“Please, and make sure to take a picture of Virge’s face once you find nothing”

Virgil huffed “you wish” he grabbed Logan’s hand and started walking away

Jane hurried walking to her home, if there was really a ship around she would have been the first to know, there was something fishy about this, she didn’t know what, but it wasn’t good.

?/?/2020 ??:??

Based on how the small creatures worked, it has been another day since they realized Virgil was shrinking, the creatures mostly worked on their devices, and checked on Logan and Virgil from time to time, measuring Virgil’s height and using the small drone to inspect Logan.

By this time, Virgil was almost the hight of a kid, barely being eye level with his boyfriend’s waist, being closer to his hip, his shirt was like a dress for him now and his boots, socks and pants were forgotten on a corner of his enclosure.

Logan’s ears became longer and pointer, being identical to the creature’s ears, they made him take his shirt off at some point and he noticed some weird dark blue markings forming on his back and arms, but those were all his changes so far.

The lights of the room turned of, indicating the little people would soon leave them alone, the door closed once the were outside, Logan wondering once again why was the door almost six feet tall if they barely were one foot in height, not only that, but most of the devices that weren’t movil were very high up, he just let it aside as always and sat next to the clear wall that separated him from Virgil, their conversation being the usual, were they going to be able to get out someday?

After some time, they were both falling asleep when the door opened, a large figure, or at least large for what they were used to at this point but in reality was no bigger than five feet, got inside of the room with a flashlight in hand.

It had the same features as the small creatures, the ears, the antena, and even the mask, but it had splatters of different colors instead of being plain white, they looked at the couple for some seconds, the light starting to become annoying, but before any of them could speak, they turned to the different devices of the room, working rather quick, as if they were doing it as a secret.

Logan looked at Virgil, who seemed just as confused as him, he stood up and walked as close as he could, resting his hands on the glass “uh, hello? Who might you be?” Silence, no answer “could you answer some of our questions?” Again, silence, it seemed it was ignoring him “are you actually going to-“

A beep noise interrupted him, and he almost lost his balance, the wall in front of him had disappeared, he looked back, noticing the wall in front of Virgil’s enclosure was gone too, he didn’t think it twice and ran inside, kneeling and hugging his boyfriend tightly, who was now standing up and hugged back.

The creature grabbed Logan’s arms and pulled him, not really getting to move him, Logan pulled his arm away “What are you-“ they made a silence sign and then pointed at the open door.

“Call me crazy Lo, but I think they’re trying to help us” said Virgil.

Logan looked between the creature and the door “‘fine, we’ll come with you, lead the way” they nodded and started to walk out, Logan stood up and grabbed Virgil’s hand, and they both followed.

01/17/2020 5:27 pm

Nothing, Jane had been trying to find more about this ship that landed on Earth since she arrived from school with no result, she had been able to check that there actually was a ship in he first place, but it was blocked, there was no way to get into the system, a text message got her out of her thoughts, she grabbed her phone and opened her conversation with Virgil.

Tall ass 👿: we’re gonna get going to te woods, prepare to be ashamed when we find something.

🐭 Midget: ha! We’ll see about that

Jane left her phone aside, there wasn’t much she could do now that Logan and Virgil were going to be there, she just hoped nothing went wrong.

?/?/2020 ??:??

They followed the creature to what seemed like infinite halls, stopping from time to time to check there wasn’t anyone else around, they stopped suddenly and Logan noticed his boyfriend’s heavy breathing, he turned around and looked down at him “Are you alright Virge?” He whispered.

“I... I’m fine Lo, it’s just... it’s just hard to keep up since my legs are sh-shorter now”

Logan frowned and kneeled to be under Virgil’s eye level “You are clearly not fine starlight, I could carry you if you’re tired”

Virgil shook his head “I don’t want... you to carry me, I-I can do this”

“You are and I know it” he rubbed his back slowly “that’s why I apologize for doing this” in a quick movement, Logan grabbed Virgil and picked him up, carrying him like a child.

“Logan, put me down” he would have screamed at his boyfriend, but they couldn’t make that much noise.

“V, you said it yourself, you are slower now and leaving you to follow could be dangerous, what if someone sees you? This is an easier and quicker way to get out”

Virgil pouted and leaned on Logan’s chest “fine but you better let me down once we’re out”

Logan smirked “no promises”, the creature they were following made a sign and they moved once more, Virgil won’t admit it, but being in Logan’s arms was kind of nice.

01/17/2020 6:00 pm

“Virgil we’ve been walking for a long time, I hate to break it to you, nut it seems there’s nothing around” said Logan, following his boyfriends as they walked deeper into the woods.

“It has just been half an hour or so, we just have to keep going until we find something”

Logan rolled his eyes, they kept walking for ten minutes or so when the atmosphere changed abruptly, it became colder and almost tense, Virgil turned to see Logan, assuming he had feel it too because of his face, he got his phone out and tried to unlock it, but the screen started to glitch, turning on and off and changing without him touching it “ha! I told you thee was something, c’mon we must be close”

Virgil hurried his steps and Logan was trying to keep up, the vegetation around them became more and more dense as they walked, almost being hard to pass trough it, Virgil stopped, startling Logan, he raised an eyebrow and walked past him, stopping and watching in awe the construction in front of them.

A white half egg shaped construction with blue, purple, silver and golden details laid in front of them, it seemed like the other half was buried in the ground.

“I told you, you can’t tell me that’s not an alien ship” said Virgil.

“We can not jump into conclusions yet”

“Fine, I’ll prove it” he crouched down and started walking towards it.

“W-Wait no, Virgil come back” Logan groaned when his words were ignored and walked behind him.

?/?/2020 ??:??

A big silver door stood before them, the creature they were following stopped and Virgil and Logan saw as their antena started to shine, after some seconds the door opened and they offered they hand to Logan, after some hesitation he took it and they started running.

Virgil held Logan’s shirt as they ran away from the ship, his eyes were closed but he decided to open them, try to see where the creature was taking them, he looked at them, but instead of focusing on the forest, Virgil turned his attention to they arm, their wrist and what was tied around it to be exact, a dark blue and purple bracelet, Virgil looked around his neck and grabbed his bracelet, that was now tied around his neck do to his shrinking, not long ago Jane made friendship bracelets for the three of them, Virgil’s was pink and blue, Logan’s was purple and pink and Jane’s was blue and purple, and identical to the one the creature had.

Confused, Virgil tugged his boyfriend’s shirt getting their attention, Logan looked down at him “Is there something wrong?”

“Look at their bracelet” he said pointing to it.

Logan listened, noticing the similarity too and stopping, making the creature to stop along them, he pulled their wrist closer and took the bracelet between his fingers “How do you have this?” He asked, they pulled their arm away without answering and made a sign for them to keep walking, Logan shook his head “no, we are not going to go with you, sure you helped us escape, but you are one of them aren’t you? how are we supposed to trust you when you are not telling us anything or answering our questions? Why did you help us? Where are you taking us? How and why do you have our friend’s bracelet?”

There was silence for a moment until they sighed “promise not to freak out?”

“I don’t know if we could since those are the first words you say to us” said Virgil.

Logan looked down at him for a moment before looking back at the creature “If you’ll explain everything, we wont”

They hesitated for a moment “alright” they raised their hand towards their mask, some markings appeared on it, glowing in pink for a second, they grabbed it taking it off, revealing a way too familiar face, Jane.

Both humans were shocked, Logan took a step back without really thinking it as he looked at her, the same girl who they’ve been spending time with, talking with, laughing with stood there, but he could not stop looking at the parts of her body that related their friend with those aliens who kidnapped them, that showed Jane wasn’t human “y-you...”

“Listen Lo I-I understand this is hard to take in bu-“

“You’re one of them” said Virgil.

Jane looked away “I am” she looked back at the couple “but I have nothing to do with them anymore I swear, I didn’t know they were coming to Earth and I had no idea what they were doing to you two”

Logan took a step forward after hesitating “you... you have no intention of hurting us correct?”

“No! I-I would never, you’re my friends, and I promise I will explain everything, but we have to get to a safer place first”

Virgil and Logan looked at each other “we want all the truth” said Virgil.

Jane nodded “And I will give it to you, but you need to trust me, and come with me” she extender her hand for Logan to take it.

Logan looked between Jane and her hand “Just lead the way”

She lowered her hand but nodded, turned around and began walking, glancing back from time to time to make sure they were following, the next hours were not going to be any easy.

[fuckedurbias]

boyfriend!park seonghwa (christmas special)

a gift from me to u, happy holidays and merry christmas my babies!!

eeeeee i’m already crying,,, pls send help

even if he didn’t exactly celebrate christmas as much as you did

or even if neither of you really did

he would want to

because of you

he would want to do something special for you

and make a whole extra day, apart from your birthday, to spoil you

and vice versa for you to him

and just make a whole special day for the both of you

and he would have even more of an excuse to go all out  

since your anniversary fell exactly on christmas eve

he met you for the first time around the end of november

he was getting coffee from the campus cafe before class

and you worked at said cafe

and the moment you saw him walk in you started fighting with your coworker over who would serve him

and you quickly pushed in front of her at the last second and got to serve him

seonghwa saw everything

but he pretended he didn’t

or,,, at least tried to

because he failed in holding back his giggles as he reached the counter

‘hello sir, what can i get for you today?’

your cheeks were bright pink

and although you tried to appear unphased and calm and confident

your smile was very shy and didn’t leave your face once while serving him

and neither did his

he went there every morning that week

even on the days you didn’t work, in hopes of seeing you

and he did see you a few more times

and to figure out your schedule

the next week he didn’t have time to go see you

but coincidentally, he had time on the 1st of December

so he went in that morning

and you had the cutest little santa hat on

this was also the day he planned on asking you out properly

because he couldn’t wait anymore and only seeing you at work and talking to you for a few minutes wasn’t enough

he had fallen hard

‘would you like to uh,,, maybe get coffee sometime? wait, WAIT NO- you work at a cafe why would i ask you to get coffee- anyways, what i’m trying to say is,, would you like to go,,, on a date?���

you almost dropped his coffee all over the floor

‘shh shh i don’t want to get in trouble,,, just wait here a sec’

he started to panic,, did he blow his chances by asking you out pretty loudly at your work? he rambled way too much

but he felt a rush of calmness and happiness when you came back with a folded napkin and passed it to him underneath his coffee

you waved him goodbye with a ‘see you soon’

and he opened the napkin as soon as he closed the door of the cafe, seeing a ’text me’ next to your number and a love heart

A LOVE HEART!!!! HIS HEART WAS EXPLODING!!

he texted you as soon as he sat down in class

and the rest is history

a beautiful history

after many, many dates in such a short time span

you finally became official on christmas eve

and as i was saying earlier, hwa makes sure it’s nothing less than perfect

well he tries, sometimes things go wrong and he gets really really sad and panicked

but you reassure him everytime that it’s okay, just him making an effort and being there with you is more than enough for him

you had a tradition

and every year, even though it had only been 2 so far

you followed it

on christmas eve

you went into the city

and watched all the christmas displays, parades, events, you went and looked/watched them all

every single one

travelling to all different sides of the city and seeing it all

also ice skating!!

and you go to see the christmas carols concert they have on in the afternoon

it’s tiring but when you’re with seonghwa, your heart is happy and you feel more energetic than ever

and then when you get home in the evening

you put all the presents you bought for each other under the tree for the following morning

and you dress in your matching christmas pjs

and drink hot chocolate while binging christmas movies all night

the next morning, of course

seonghwa excitedly wakes you up to start opening presents

he’s like a 5 year old about to start running around the house with excitement

he’s more excited about his presents to you than you are

he tells you which ones to open first and the order he wants you to open them in

you’re starting to feel pathetic about your gifts for him and for your lack of excitement

when you get to the last one, already feeling all lovey dovey and happy from your previous gifts

its just an envelope

you have very mixed, unsure feelings about where this is going

his eyes are wide and his smile very slight as he watches you, waiting for something to happen

and as you slowly reach your fingers in and pull two pieces of paper out, they are blank until you realise you need to turn them around

and what you read when you turn them around

takes you a while to process

two tickets to south korea

‘hwa?? are you serious?’

it looks like he has tears in his eyes

‘yes baby. we’re going in two months, i want to show you where i grew up and i want you to meet my family properly, not just over a facetime call’

you burst into tears

he crawls over and pulls you into his lap as he hugs you

‘now i really feel pathetic about all the gifts i got you, they can’t ever top this. damn you, seonghwa’ you sob

he chuckles softly as he wipes your tears away with his thumbs

‘don’t be silly baby, for me, no gift can ever top having you here with me’

EE E. EEEEE IM ALL MUSHY N FEELING SO GROSS YET SO EMOTIONAL FROM THE CHEESINESS N SOFTNESS GOODBYE!!!

and happy holidays to all of u!!!

[blackcoffeeandblankpagess]

1/2 so i’ve been dealing with (read ignoring) an ankle/foot injury for a number of weeks/months. i kept telling myself it was fine because there’s no bruising etc and i was marathon training and had consulted with a pod who showed me how to strap etc. in reality it’s not getting better and it’s been about 10 weeks since the original injury. the marathon has been cancelled. ive pulled back on training but i think i probably need a proper rest... i’m scared that ill put on weight but ashamed that

2/2 this is my fear because i am the first to say it does not matter and weight fluctuates etc etc which i DO believe but i also have a history of anorexia and disordered eating and find change hard. also im scared of losing fitness and having to start again.. i don’t really know what my question is. tell me to take time off? going to try and get a go app & mri scan for see if there’s any visible damage to ankle/foot but don’t know that i’ll be able to with all the restrictions atm... sigh.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

okay hi I weirdly love that you sent me this message, don’t get me wrong that is a shitty spot to be in and I’m sending you a big hug, BUT I feel like I could have literally written this myself I resonate SO much so....hopefully because of that I can say something somewhat useful.

First of all. Take a break. I mean it. Just stop everything for like...a week to start (obviously longer is fine too, but a week might seem less terrifying at first). That doesn’t mean oh I’ll take a break from running but bike 20 miles a day...no! I am also someone who has an EXTREMELY hard time giving myself permission to rest (aside from my rest day) because I will internally debate until the end of time over whether or not it’s necessary etc. etc. and honestly I get a huge sense of relief when a medical professional tells me to take a break because I’m like oh okay cool this is literally their career they know what they are talking about and I’m listening to their advice. BUT especially if you are injured and you ARE injured from what I am hearing here even if you do not technically have the scans to prove it yet, you NEED to rest. If you keep going and pushing through the pain you are going to dig yourself deeper and deeper into the hole and it is going to take WAY longer to dig yourself out. Also, especially given your ED history, I would be extra precautious about handling injuries and ensuring proper recovery. Obviously I know literally nothing about your injury or your ED background, but I would not take a lack of bruising to mean that it’s nothing serious (I’m not trying to scare you here but I feel like sometimes we need to have someone just shove the truth in our face so here you go). If it is something like a stress fracture for instance (which again, I have NO idea the details of your issue so maybe it isn’t), then you might not *see* anything but your bones would LITERALLY BE BREAKING and the more you run on that the more you are breaking them down and the recovery could move from just needing a few weeks rest to needing surgery. Not to mention the long term damage you would be doing to your body. Something I had to really, really come to terms with after I got my stress fracture was realizing I had been underfueling for YEARS and even if I wasn’t actively trying to restrict myself, I had gotten used to not eating enough and that meant my bones were breaking down more and more every. single. day. and it is easiest to build bone density when you are young and gets progressively more difficult as you age so the choices you make today are going to affect you deeply in the future. It’s easy to see it as just one extra run or one skipped snack but the truth is that for those of us who buy into those things we never really stop at one, and all of those “just this one time”s add up. And it’s not good. This past summer I forced myself to take a week off of literally everything not because anything was physically wrong but because I realized I was exercising way too much and significantly undereating and I knew I was on the fast track to hurting myself and causing long term damage.

To your second point about fear of gaining weight- first of all I have so, so, so much respect for you for being able to admit that fear because realistically a lot of us have it, I certainly dealt with it when I was injured, and even if we rationally know that in the grand scheme of things it ~doesn’t matter~ the truth is that coming from an ED background the thought of weight gain is probably going to cause some anxiety! like you said I could talk all day about why gaining weight doesn’t matter and you are more than a number etc. etc. but you and I both already know that. Maybe this is a problematic approach that I’m about to share but honestly if someone had told me this when I first found out about my stress fracture it probably would have relieved anxiety and especially given these wild times I think relieving anxiety is prob a good thing- when I had my stress fracture I didn’t workout for four months. Literally NOTHING. no cross training. no swimming. no biking. no walks. I was on crutches. I literally had to be driven to class. My activity level was at a -12. I ate almost exactly the same as when I wasn’t injured (which, led me to learn I was DEFINITELY under eating), and I gained MAYBE like....5 pounds or less (or maybe none at all it honestly was probably 99% in my head). Literally not enough for anyone at ALL to notice except for me because my pants felt a tiny bit tighter. This honestly made me question a lot of things. For one, I knew I needed to really up my intake when I was allowed to be active again. Two, I started to reallllly question WHY I felt the need to do all this activity if being completely inactive didn’t lead to my body changing much. It made me realize how much I underlyingly relied on exercise to micromanage my body. It was a lot to think about.

ALSO. I didn’t get my period regularly for about 4 years and once that stress fracture hit I made it my MISSION to get it back (and I did!) because that is a huge red flag and I knew that if I wasn’t getting it, that once my bone healed even if I was cleared to run again I was just on track to get another injury because sure maybe THAT injury healed but my shitty bones were still shitty and that meant another injury was just as likely. I decided that gaining a little weight (whatever that meant) was critical  because I would much rather be a few pounds heavier than constantly switching between running and injured. Also, more importantly, I want to be able to be active throughout my whole life and if your bones are shit at 21 (when I got my stress fracture) you are probably going to be really f**ked once you are actually the age that people’s bones start to deteriorate. 

The most important thing I have learned is that everything you do in terms of over exercise/under eating has HUGE LONG TERM CONSEQUENCES and it is SO easy to ignore that when you are in the thick of it because often you don’t feel those consequences until years later but listen, you do not want to wait for things to get really bad before you decide to start trying to truly, properly recover.

It’s really easy to get caught in that inbetween place of not doing horribly but also definitely not feeling as free as you could when it comes to food/body stuff. Ask yourself WHY you are scared of gaining weight and like I said, operating under the assumption that we know weight gain is okay etc. etc., realistically your body is probably not going to go through some wild change if you just take a break. Think about it, most people barely exercise and they eat whatever and they are all FINE! It’s easy on the internet/social media to feel like everyone is out running 23498239432 miles and eating kale or whatever but most people really aren’t like that and they are getting along just fine.

Also, something that helped me was realizing that I really do not want to spend my whole life constantly terrified that if I eat too much or take a break or whatever my body is going to change etc. etc. and I realized that if i don’t want to spend my whole life worried about that then at SOME POINT I was going to have to just start living how I wanted to because 1. once you start living how you want to you realize the world does not in fact end and you can have your cake and eat it too (ha). and 2. you aren’t going to just suddenly wake up one day and not care about these things anymore, if you really want to be free from it you need to make a conscious effort to live the life you actually want, not the one that is stemmed in fear

In the past year I have grown SO much in terms of food/exercise. And my body has literally not changed. I was holding on so tightly to this perceived control that was entirely unnecessary. Your body is designed to want to stay generally the same (unless of course you are currently in an unhealthy spot) and when you just chill out for a sec you realize that your body is capable of doing naturally what you thought you had to be micromanaging and taking care of all along. 

I will leave you with a quote that I heard one time somewhere (how’s that for a source) “You have a lot more to gain than you do to lose”

By letting your body heal

By not making decisions out of fear of gaining weight

By eating what you want

etc.

This was long af and I may have rambled but I hope it helps. Like I said, I’m not trying to scare anyone but also sometimes feeling a little bit of that “oh shit wtf am I doing” feeling is the kick in the butt you need. (but I know it is super duper hard and I am sending you all the love and support and also hoping your foot is something minor)

So yes, take a break, talk to your dr, be super honest with them. When I had my stress fracture my dr and pt were both like ok here’s the deal- rest and eat a lot of food. so I would advise that ;)

[punkscowardschampions]

Ronnie & Joe

Ronnie: pick me up Joe: rude you clearly did without me Joe: but I'll be able to do a twofer, yeah 👌 Joe: send your distress signal so I know where to point Ronnie: [wherever she's been working for a hot sec, I dread to think lol] Joe: you making a complaint about their cold-calls in person? Joe: tick off initiative on your CV Ronnie: my sides have split & it aint fuck all to the piss poor stitching Joe: see how far we can stretch your guts either side of you, fun Joe: did you self-sew or see one of your gun-wielding pals? different principle tats and triage Ronnie: then you can play a round of guess how much of this blood is mine, get yourself proper going Joe: too kind, stop me from charging the going rate for a while yet 🚖 Joe: what office supply did you use though Joe: if you were too cliche, you are going to have to sit up front and talk to me, proper cabbie punishment Ronnie: everything got nicked day 1 baby they werent about to waste any staples keeping shit on desks Ronnie: phone & a script is your lot Joe: there any drug we can act like anyone's calling it oscar on the street? Joe: you fully Joe Pesci'd someone with the phone, yeah? 👏 Ronnie: any gear that should go straight in the bin Ronnie: call it oscar Joe: you are wasted on 0 hour contracts, my dear Ronnie: not wasted enough for em Joe: join me at your local overpriced shit coffee dealer Joe: our bathrooms couldn't pass a piss test but they all only want the ⬆pers Joe: 💔 Ronnie: ill have an escort if you dont get a fucking move on Ronnie: you got enough student spends to feed coffee & doughnuts to the full force yeah Joe: say lucky you but security guards got as many hairs on their head as they got IQ points Joe: lot down Soho are decent conversationalists, unlike Daz and Gaz Joe: I did just get this terms though so hold on and you can help me 🔥 through it Ronnie: i dont get turned on by einstein & his pals mckenna thats your wank fuel Ronnie: easiest way to get a cunt off my back is to put him on his Joe: he only banged his cousin, that's nothing to waste energy on Ronnie: 💔 none of your cousins look enough like your mam for you Joe: why do you think i was searching Joe: daring to dream Ronnie: give a fuck about your nancy drew fantasies Ronnie: that schoolgirl shit is tapped Joe: the catholic schoolgirl uniforms have been overstated Joe: not all that in person, be the review Joe: nuns though, yeah Joe: enough mild peril to manage Ronnie: charlie will be gutted youve switched from homos to dykes Joe: you're the only one who's guts I wanna play around Joe: I'll break it to him nicely Joe: doughnuts, yeah Ronnie: consolation hole Ronnie: youve had shitter ideas Joe: it was yours, in fairness Joe: dunno about offering up my hole to every bloke at the met but if I put my foot down shouldn't be an issue Ronnie: i dont reckon a consolation footjob is gonna cut it Ronnie: not my first offence Joe: giving away how highly you think of my 🍑 Joe: what happened then, beyond telemarketing being worse than shitting out razorblades Ronnie: you wish you had 1 whitey Joe: says you Ronnie: if i had any curves theyd be cut off by now Joe: junkie chic before the habit Joe: some girls have all the luck Ronnie: lucky i need your bullshit heroics for this or id send you on a fools errand to sleuth the pieces out of landfill Joe: white knight > jester Joe: not my usual style, but for you I'll make an exception Ronnie: unless youre gonna say your horse fucking girlfriend dressed you the other night ive already seen it like Joe: you think her thing is budget kurt cobain? Joe: or that she's blind Ronnie: be blind by now if you catholics arent full of shit about touching yourself too much Ronnie: homesick for the horse & rejected by you Joe: what do you think its called Joe: my bets are on some boy band member she fancied when she was 11 and daddy was gutted Ronnie: or the 1st lad she wanted to meet round the back of the bike sheds Joe: you're such a romantic Ronnie: fuck off Ronnie: im thinking like a basic white bitch from kent or wherever the fuck you said Joe: you do it well Joe: no way her school had anything common like bikesheds though so knocking a point off Joe: getting fingered on the hellipad is more voyeuristic but has less of a charm about it Ronnie: write a song about it Ronnie: shes gonna be charmed by the namedrop Joe: return the favour Joe: she's making me help her with her coursework Ronnie: plaster cast of your cock and then what Ronnie: tell her you aint no hendrix & its been done Joe: charlie wishes, whitey Joe: I'll cc 'em both in about my disappointing dick Ronnie: ill pass on gaz & daz numbers Joe: god I hope the plaster ain't dried Ronnie: god aint listening to you nancy Joe: adds up Joe: that kind of dad, technically always keep an eye but going in one ear and out the other Joe: 💔 woe is me Ronnie: irish catholics aint got fuck all going on between the ears she werent in it for that Joe: fucked me up with her shit genetics then Joe: you manage to get a pen? Joe: shove it in my ear and dig it out Ronnie: pull it out of my neck & you can stick it where you like Joe: we'll let the blood piss out 'til it feels right Ronnie: im the romantic Ronnie: shut up Joe: alright, you need to be conscious to woo me Ronnie: couldve fooled me Joe: dead girls pale in comparison Joe: 💘 Ronnie: the boners you lot have got for open caskets over there i dont reckon youve ever seen a dead girl the proper colour Joe: just said you were #1 but you've got to be 1 and only, yeah? Ronnie: in your fever dreams mckenna Ronnie: i aint looking that much like your ma however much slap i put on Joe: you're prettier than her Ronnie: now you want me to drink bleach instead of having a bath in it Ronnie: make up your fucking mind like Joe: just knew that would wind you up Joe: gotta bring out some cliches Joe: you're perfect just the way you are, you know Ronnie: drop dead Joe: god willing Joe: he's being fucking slow about it, despite my best efforts Ronnie: ill give it my best shot if you keep on Joe: another one for the cv Ronnie: find it written in my blood shit & bile on this wall Ronnie: thats your girlfriends coursework aced for her Joe: beats the lecture I'm skipping out on by miles Ronnie: no shit none of em are dressed like nuns Joe: none of 'em hate me like you either Joe: so damn likeable, its a curse Ronnie: i dont wanna hear about all your teachers trying to pet you Ronnie: childhoods over golden boy Joe: and all without me getting molested once Joe: by any nuns or teachers anyway Ronnie: 💔 Ronnie: why youre such an annoying cunt Joe: abuse really humbles you, does it Joe: builds character Ronnie: gives you something to properly cry about Joe: got nothing on the shit my brain can make up Joe: idle hands and all that Ronnie: yeah youre so special baby Joe: it's just being mental or not Joe: if you ain't, you can go through whatever fucked up shit and be alright still Joe: if you're mental nothing even needs to happen and you'll be worse off Joe: some of us ain't got a chance from conception Ronnie: tell me something i dont know Ronnie: poster child for not having a fucking chance & any mental problems they wanna attach Joe: you better pay for more ad space Joe: call it karma, or dodgy genetics Joe: but I make a great case for abortion Ronnie: like i said before not one that needs to be put to me Ronnie: had more of em than youve had misery boners Joe: won't make you tell me about 'em Joe: no way you'd be as descriptive as the furious pro-lifers who act like the baby is fit to crawl out when you kill it Ronnie: hot Ronnie: shouldve called 1 of em to pick me up instead Joe: condemnation and loathing is meant to be my thing Ronnie: sharings meant to be your thing too yeah? Joe: only when it's inadvisable Ronnie: only when you wanna Joe: if you got to play oldest you'd know that's sadly untrue Ronnie: stuck being the cliche middle kid between fitz & the other one Ronnie: fucks sake Joe: seeking attention and approval because you're overlooked and under-appreciated? Joe: it's why 3 is a good number, any more and you've got multiple middle kids Joe: maybe I don't wanna fuck my mum, just missing all 3 of my own so much 🙄 Ronnie: they wish anyone could overlook me Ronnie: & you deffo do wanna fuck her so thats shit on your thesis Joe: yeah, sounds just like them Joe: suits you Joe: like the basic white bitch thing Ronnie: go fuck your mam Ronnie: im too tired for this Joe: you won't have no early start tomorrow sound of Ronnie: didnt have an early start today Ronnie: thats what kicked off this bullshit Joe: fair enough Joe: who wants a cold call at 7am Ronnie: the cunt who runs the place will be getting 1 off me til he pays me Joe: lucky him Joe: might wanna stay in your debt longer, romantic that you are Joe: attention very flattering Ronnie: what im hearing is i should tell his missus some fucking fairytale about the attention he was giving me Ronnie: everyonell be made up with the lie Joe: could do Joe: like your flair Joe: or I could come in, tell him you're mental and that he didn't make adequate allowances for you but now you're too traumatized to come back so he should just pay and we won't have to sue Joe: might get damages on top Ronnie: who are you my fucking school age carer like Joe: i'm believable, and more palatable than you outwardly Joe: anyway i look older Ronnie: than what 12 Joe: you have a baby face Joe: i look like i've not slept in as many years Joe: which is pretty accurate, as it goes Ronnie: do i fuck Ronnie: i look like ive shaken a baby to death Joe: child on child crime Joe: shocking headlines there, like that scottish girl who was fucked then got out and was someone's gran like she didn't kill a toddler Ronnie: see how palatable you are when I kick your teeth in Joe: it's a curse Joe: if you wanna lift it and be my hero instead of it being this way 'round Joe: love you forever, like Ronnie: ill lift your wallet fuck the rest Joe: already offered you my money Joe: not even a challenge, soft touch Ronnie: like youve ever been challenged soft lad Joe: go on Ronnie: youre already going on loads Joe: bet you've never heard about the traffic in this city, have ya Ronnie: fuck it ill go lay in it Joe: 😍 Ronnie: save the pillow talk for when youre offering me somewhere else to sleep Ronnie: would let you fuck me for entry to horse girls en suite if theres a bath in it Joe: where's your bed gone Ronnie: its got a hysterical homo in it whos only gonna get himself in more of a fanny flap cause ive been sacked Ronnie: ill take the wreckage of a 4 car pile up or whatever Joe: gotcha Joe: how long 'fore he calms it Ronnie: how long are you offering to spend buying him drinks & cupping his balls Joe: i get it Joe: you wanna wifeswap Joe: not just her art assignment you're interested in Joe: but you can just take my bed, I'm always falling asleep on the sofa or up the table and she'll relish at more chance to watch me sleeping Ronnie: your room got a 🔒 Joe: yeah but you're alright, it's on the inside Joe: not going to get fritzl about it Ronnie: youd need more than that to keep me in Ronnie: which youd know if you were earning off dealing with my mental problems Joe: not giving you a challenge either, don't get hysterical yourself like Ronnie: you couldnt like Ronnie: bigger pussy than your basic white girlfriend Joe: oh god stop talking about it Joe: i'll be sick Ronnie: no stomach for any kind of challenge Joe: you crack on Joe: i'll stick to 🍩 Ronnie: not so needy for some clean piss that ill be licking her out for it Joe: you should write this song for me Ronnie: whats in it for me Ronnie: got all your spends on a promise as is Joe: the fame and full writing credits, obviously Ronnie: fuck off obviously Joe: that's how we know you're not really a middle kid Ronnie: more shit you can come at your ma with Joe: I'll save it for the next holiday Ronnie: 💘 Joe: what about your dad Ronnie: i dont reckon hes up for another go on her if youre there watching Joe: 💔 Joe: i meant do you know what happened to him Joe: you might have more interesting half brothers out there, what I'm thinking Ronnie: got no interest in little fucking kids Joe: so you do know Joe: did he come find you or what Ronnie: dont get jealous nance Ronnie: did it myself like Joe: he meet your expectations Ronnie: what kind of fucking soft shit is that Ronnie: get a grip mckenna he aint rich Joe: a no would suffice Joe: though it's adorable you really kicked it like Annie over it Joe: you could've said you had none, or you expected him to be dead or worse, a useless cunt Ronnie: why would i say fuck all to you about it Joe: too painful too private Joe: gotcha Ronnie: wank over your own parents when i aint waiting Joe: the fact you've not implied I'd prematurely cum in my pants Joe: you're so full of hope it's equal parts inspiring and worrying Ronnie: get out of my face before i kick yours in Ronnie: everyone who aint gone blind can see youre a virgin Joe: don't be jealous, sid Ronnie: you cant tell your older sister what to do baby Ronnie: that aint how this works Joe: it wasn't good ever Ronnie: course youre crying about that too Ronnie: fucking hell Joe: just trying to ease your jealousy Joe: anyway, you'll be pleased to know the lacklustre results were down to my lack of trying, not theirs Ronnie: 1 less dose of the clap & i might still be fertile now thats fucking worrying Ronnie: keep your status choir boy Joe: bit cliche far as fantasies go but alright Ronnie: you started it Ronnie: trying to make me feel special Joe: no need to try is there Ronnie: not now my gag reflex has been triggered Joe: like that ain't been decimated by now too Ronnie: youre learning Ronnie: your teachersll be made up Joe: hope for the molestation yet? Joe: nice Ronnie: ease your 💔 & limp dick Joe: calm down Joe: might get attached Ronnie: do your grades the world of good Joe: you wanna help me with my homework? Ronnie: youre that shit in the sack you still wont get an a after giving your teachers a going over Ronnie: unlucky like Joe: so you can help me Joe: what else you gonna do whilst you're hiding from charlie Ronnie: use your imagination Joe: no need Joe: you'll be sharing Ronnie: cant stop you kicking the door in Ronnie: its yours Joe: just the needle, not the bed, like Joe: you're fine Ronnie: yeah youll be between horse girls sheets Joe: don't reckon she's strong enough to carry me Ronnie: only has to strap a saddle on Joe: 😂 Ronnie: fuck knows what she would fill your nose bag with Joe: the surprise is the fun part Ronnie: dont come crying to me when its oscar Joe: if she was half as interesting as you're making out, might stand a chance of working Joe: as it goes, probably be granola Ronnie: stick her thatll make her more your type Joe: come on Joe: she don't look a thing like my mother Ronnie: fucks sake when shes under get a 🔪 Ronnie: do your best like Joe: i keep telling you i'm not one for trying Ronnie: trying not to cry is as far as it goes yeah Joe: even my kiddy medicine cuts that shit off Joe: ain't been able to since I was 12 Joe: not that there was much call for it, my perfect life with mummy dearest Ronnie: the other week before you met me then Ronnie: gutted i broke your streak Joe: you sure you ain't interested in little fucking kids Joe: rearrange that sentence and Freud is having a field day Ronnie: make the effort to get here before i start to rot Ronnie: not trying to make that cunts day or yours Joe: you'd have liked him Ronnie: he rich off peddling that bullshit to the masses Joe: yeah and he reckoned cocaine was the cure for heroin addiction so he really knew a good time Ronnie: sounds like my not boyfriend Joe: oh yeah? Joe: well his grandson was cooler Joe: he fucked kate moss when he was like 70 Ronnie: anyone written a song about that Joe: maybe pete did Joe: he was a painter though so he painted her with her kit off, obviously Joe: reckon it's free for us to give it a crack Ronnie: your girlfriend painted you yet or what Joe: she wants to Ronnie: no shit mckenna Ronnie: every cunt there nearly fucking went arse over tit in the puddle she was sat in at that gig Joe: so that's what that sticky feeling was Ronnie: her juices or charlies Joe: that's called mixed media Joe: potential bio-hazard for her profs though Ronnie: worst theyre gonna get off her is thrush Ronnie: never met a bitch so clean Joe: yeah Joe: boring Ronnie: i told you to kill her last time you started being a baby about it Joe: you can have homicidal, sis Joe: boring but harmless Ronnie: cocaines harmless after heroin you & freud are still pussy enough to call it a party Joe: why it's a cure Joe: get you from comatose to semi-functioning Ronnie: she could be a cure too Ronnie: cold turkey Joe: weren't searching for a cure Joe: am i coming in or are you coming out Joe: can't see you Ronnie: cause youre comatose Ronnie: gutted this ex boss aint a cokehead Joe: not far off Joe: he your not boyfriend or is that just what we're telling the wife Ronnie: fuck off Ronnie: he couldnt fund your baby habit nevermind mine Joe: we going there first then Ronnie: yeah Joe: if we get your wages, we don't have to Joe: [come in boy] Ronnie: [a look like go on impress me by getting these wages boy] Joe: [when you can give it social worker chat 'cos what Tess does and the whole beeline of it all like you can be convincing enough that he's breaking some kind of equality law by sacking her without pay lol] Ronnie: [love that for you Joseph even if she won't let you know she's impressed and also lowkey triggered by that social worker energy] Joe: [honestly, lbr this man surely just wants you gone, won't take too much persuading] Ronnie: [literally and he's clearly in some way shady if he's 1. employed her and also 2. not called the police on her rn] Joe: [no leg to stand on sir, love this shakedown for you] Ronnie: [I bet they're all illegals and people being exploited] Joe: [its a mood, as in happens all the time esp. in cities, least you can hit him up again lads, long as he don't get y'all beaten up or something lol] Ronnie: [tbf if you do get beaten up that's a mood too] Joe: [yeah, when they find out you are not social and just taking their money lol] Ronnie: [love a scam] Joe: [the kind of nonsense have your mother rolling in her grave she's not in, love that we're starting that now] Ronnie: [I approve of the vibe, start as you mean to go on lads, all before you've made his poor flatmate wanna die lol] Joe: [poor gal did not ask for you as a flatmate let alone all this lol] Ronnie: [do you wanna skip to like when she's back and Ronnie's in his room or whatever because easy way to keep the convo going without needing it to be face to face] Joe: [works for me henny] Ronnie: [your turn to start boo] Joe: doubt she'll leave her room any time soon now Ronnie: 💔 Joe: yeah poor girl Joe: saying you got free reign, if you need anything Ronnie: i had it before Ronnie: not scared of her like Joe: nah Joe: what about charlie then Joe: or you just don't wanna upset him Ronnie: yeah terrified Ronnie: well sleuthed nancy Joe: that he'll get sick of you, maybe Ronnie: i fucking told you we aint the kind of family who get rid Joe: yeah Ronnie: dont project onto me Ronnie: we aint nothing alike Joe: i'm the one sick of them Joe: if anything Ronnie: yeah & he aint fuck all like you either Joe: I can see that Ronnie: youve seen him once dont flatter yourself Joe: and it's that obvious Ronnie: 🖕 Joe: what? Joe: i only need to know one half the equation to know we're not the same Joe: it's a compliment to him if fuck all else Ronnie: give it to him then Ronnie: hell lap it up Joe: i told you it's nice Joe: what you lot got Joe: but i'm not looking to get in on it if that's what you reckon Ronnie: take what you want pussy Joe: that's not your thing? Ronnie: what we cant both do it Joe: potentially Ronnie: dont remember you having any hesitation to share a needle Ronnie: grow a pair when youre not getting shot up Ronnie: maybe the dayll come when i dont have to spoon feed you the gear like a fucking kid Joe: i'd have to work out if i want anything but first Ronnie: yeah Joe: is it all you want Joe: the heroin Ronnie: mind your fucking business Joe: alright Joe: do you want to do my next tattoo or what Ronnie: i said take what you fucking want Joe: [come through with ink you've undoubtedly stole from your flatmate, also being more spacey/twitchy than normal like distract me gal] Ronnie: [love how old school & gross we're kicking this tattoo situation unlike when Ali does it] Joe: [which is absolutely the point, how your arms and legs don't fall off lol] Ronnie: [their other ones probably wouldn't have even healed yet cos lbr it's gonna be no time in between these interactions] Joe: [just loads of lowkey open wounds, like that isn't life anyway] Ronnie: [mhmm they'd be fucked already too cos they are so itchy when they are healing and y'all don't have chill] Joe: [all the reason for constant touch ups/ messing with so it casually never heals #mood] Ronnie: [I didn't think of that but I stan] Joe: [casual metaphor for your everything lads] Ronnie: [you know you can do anything to her tattoowise yourself Joseph she don't care] Joe: [probably doing some weird repitition moment you'd usually do on yourself which will be painful af excuse you] Ronnie: [she do love the pain you're fine] Joe: [good thing too, we're just here fucking each other up like this ain't gonna go anywhere else lolllllll] Ronnie: [way more #into it than I should be considering I don't  even like when people shout lol] Joe: [you babby, they are not, obviously we're getting and taking drugs even if she's too naive to know why they're in such a state, maybe they can make a dealer come to them when they're feeling fancy/have already had loads lol] Ronnie: [take a moment to appreciate how few clothes she is wearing rn and how much that means this poor gal can and would see like we've got track marks and self harm scars for days even before you start on the tattoos lol, you're gonna get clued in before she leaves hen] Joe: [honestly props for not running home screaming tbh babe] Ronnie: [especially when this dealer comes because he ain't Drew like he should be scary af] Joe: [lowkey makes you work for it even when you're paying 'cos hates junkies] Ronnie: [at least she can basically fuck him in full view for Joe's benefit because the vibe is already there haha] Joe: [i truly love thinking about what the hell you're telling the flatmate when she leaves, she's not that stupid, also must fancy you if she doesn't report you immediately lol] Ronnie: [she definitely does that's not just Ronnie's bpd jealousy shining through like did you tell her you were related after the gig or what even Joseph what's the narrative] Joe: [also, entirely unrelated, when you bleaching your hair 'cos it looks so much better lol, anyways, he's probably had to go with a troubled sister narrative 'cos she's the type to be sympathetic and it makes sense why he'd deal from her pov] Ronnie: [that's gonna make the obvious sexual tension awkward but yeah I vote they definitely do it while she's staying because same vibe as the tattoo sesh so] Joe: [ikr, when you're blatantly fucking this will be very confusing, you should deffo only be about 1st year lol] Ronnie: [are you gonna give him another different flatmate in year 2 or like none?] Joe: [maybe for year 2  on you can still have some like a house share moment but he's the one you never see and has nothing to do with you] Ronnie: [that works definitely cos like I was just thinking how could he afford somewhere on his own] Joe: [yeah, even if we're technically employed whilst in uni by the orchestra, it's not gonna be loads, and that's how London be even if you're not a student] Ronnie: [how long do we think she should stay for this time because obvs she's coming back again and again but] Joe: [hmm, like he isn't gonna tell her to go so it's on her for how long she can deal lol] Ronnie: [just cos I'm thinking she should leave because something happens/almost does and it freaks her out because she's meant to hate him and there's only so much you can play off as doing for shock value when you're blatantly into it] Joe: [that makes sense, clearly it ain't gonna take long for that to transpire] Ronnie: [yeah a few days is what I'm imagining, but like enough that she probably thinks nothing will happen because it hasn't so far, if that makes sense] Joe: [i'm with it] Ronnie: [how far do we wanna go is always the question] Ronnie: [okay idea time, hear me out hun, what if it's like an unexpectedly pure/cute moment by their standards that happens in the day to day because the obvious would be to have them go all in when they are fucked up but like think about it] Joe: [that's what I thought too though 'cos it's more impactful 'cos it isn't as if it's gonna start with a kiss when it does for real like it's all extra and them to cover that it's about anything but being fucked up, so that would shake you both] Ronnie: [so glad we're on the same page here, like I can't think of a good example of what I mean/think should happen but] Joe: [we know the vibe, doing something vaguely domestic before realizing what you're doing] Ronnie: [so she gotta run away and nobody is gonna know where she is or what she's doing for a bit soz Charlie & Bronson] Joe: [you wanna skip to that time period now, this hasn't been excessively long or anything[ Ronnie: [we totally can because we can always skip back/add it if we think of anything else we wanna do while she's there etc] Ronnie: [I've had a potential idea how to start this so neither of them technically has to bite the bullet and go first like if you give me a rough idea what kind of thing Charlie would say e.g where are you/are you dead bitch and I'll reply here like she's in the wrong convo lol] Joe: [that's a good idea boo, probably something like you can stop hiding now and an update about whatever the fuck he's up to in his life which you can make up you know the vibe lol] Ronnie: [I was just like realistically if they were both shook by what happened neither of them are gonna be like oh hey] Joe: [yeah like it'd take him a while even if he would 'cos not just gonna let this go that easy, so it's a solid way to do it] Ronnie: a real scouse ma's meant to shout down the street when its time to stop playing about Ronnie: lazy cunt Joe: I'm only half if I'm anything, and you probably won't give me that any rate Ronnie: 🖕 not talking to you Ronnie: got the wrong gaylord Joe: easy mistake Joe: you not got his number saved? Ronnie: if this was my phone yeah Joe: newly acquired then Ronnie: mine broke Joe: my condolences Joe: wall or pavement? Ronnie: what the fuck does it matter Joe: just making conversation whilst you're here Ronnie: if youve got something to say go ed Ronnie: but if youre gonna pussy out as per it got waterlogged Joe: you dying for the uni update like my ma is a top performance, cheers, like Joe: rice didn't work or you didn't fancy eating toilet water rice after Ronnie: loads in common me & her aint just a pretty face like Ronnie: dont know what kind of fucking 12 year old in a k hole at a festival you take me for mckenna Joe: yeah, it's a shame Joe: soph says save some for the 🐎s Ronnie: cold showers work better for misery boners than they do a suspected od but these fucking amateurs aint know jack shit obviously Ronnie: shame & shameful that is Joe: I'm a better sesh companion Ronnie: ill take the 🐴 Ronnie: whole or in bits Joe: seems the possessive type Ronnie: thats your bitch Joe: who I meant but I ain't claiming her Ronnie: bet shed be made up over a uni update Joe: bold of you to assume we haven't had many delightful lunch dates whilst you've been having cold showers Ronnie: give a fuck if youve been eating her out at any time of day Joe: yeah well I'm pretty gutted you've replaced me with another newbie Ronnie: stop fucking crying Ronnie: i aint running a nursery Joe: ain't the only one sounds of your reply Ronnie: fuck off Joe: reckon he's over you getting the sack now Ronnie: not everythings about that mary Ronnie: & he aint my keeper Joe: just your mum, I got the message Ronnie: he reckons he can baby me it aint the same thing Joe: he's older than you yeah Ronnie: youve got a sister other than me dont act like you cant get your head round it Joe: not really my M.O. Ronnie: special yeah Joe: she's got a dad and another brother happy enough to oblige Ronnie: i dont need to puke up my good time Joe: thought your stomach and nerve were meant to be stronger than that Ronnie: whatever you think about me is bullshit baby Joe: just what you've put out there Ronnie: & yours is heroics just warning you this aint no od like Ronnie: aint gotta press eject Joe: you're typing Joe: don't think anyone knows you well enough to commit to the impression here Ronnie: talking Ronnie: everyone knows idle hands are dangerous Ronnie: but that dont mean i gotta keep em busy typing Joe: yeah Joe: know the feeling Ronnie: its used to my accent & everything Ronnie: more than i can say for the live cunts here Joe: you in 💘 with your phone that's dead cute Joe: its worse when you're angry Ronnie: not in 💘 with kent Ronnie: your girlfriend proper missold it Joe: fuck off are you in kent 😂 Ronnie: fucked you over if you were gonna come carry me out again Joe: acting like you didn't ask Joe: if you're going to now, do it, like Ronnie: if you dump her back home who the fucks keeping the leccy on Joe: only got a baby habit ain't I Ronnie: what so youre carrying me out & dumping me where Ronnie: anywhere near & im taking your money shithead Joe: we don't need electric Ronnie: how will you get off on me wearing your mams face in the dark Joe: would hate to waste your hard work, obviously Ronnie: what hard work Joe: liberating my mums face from her skull Ronnie: be my pleasure Ronnie: all play Joe: alright then Joe: i'll be able to keep up Ronnie: big talk for a 12 year old virgin Joe: hiding it kent you can't talk or type about it Ronnie: im not fucking hiding Joe: yeah right Ronnie: plain sight baby Joe: 40 miles Ronnie: & Joe: if you wanna play, you're gonna have to give me another clue Joe: know if i'm getting warm Ronnie: [a blurry picture clue] Ronnie: 💘 Joe: they new friends or old Ronnie: waste of a question Joe: how many do i have left Ronnie: 39 but if you need that many dont fucking bother Joe: you don't wanna disappointed so bad Ronnie: you disappoint me by coming out the same hole Joe: that don't have to matter Joe: plenty have Ronnie: yeah but i aint met the rest of your happy family Joe: you wanna Ronnie: 38 now Joe: it could've been a statement Ronnie: was it Joe: 39 for you Ronnie: 🖕 Joe: you wanted to go to the beach Ronnie: that a question or what soft lad Joe: ?* Ronnie: didnt know there was 1 Joe: it's a county you know Ronnie: how the fuck would i know that Ronnie: shut up Joe: do you wanna go to the beach Ronnie: i can drown you in the sink Joe: i didn't put you in the shower Joe: or your phone Ronnie: youd have been made up by how blue i went though Ronnie: well like a dead girl Joe: yeah? Joe: what's it feel like Ronnie: youll get your own go Ronnie: aint holding your hand forever like Joe: gutted Ronnie: you wont reckon so when you outgrow that baby habit Joe: i'd mind if you died Ronnie: give you something to cry about Ronnie: youd be fucking into it Joe: nah Joe: people who've got shit to mope on usually don't Joe: enjoy it too much don't I, can't be having it validated, takes the fun out Ronnie: most dont reckon a happy end would be cumming inside their ma Ronnie: youd enjoy having a reason to celebrate or trauma bond depending on her fucking take Joe: our mate freud would disagree Joe: she'd wear black for the rest of her life, if that's what you wanna hear Joe: but counting it as a question, 38 Ronnie: why the fuck would i wanna hear that Ronnie: be boss for her if she never shifted her bastard baby weight like Joe: 37 unless it's rhetorical Joe: i dunno what will make you feel better Ronnie: 38 wasn't a question in the first place you just counted it cause youre a cheating lil bitch Joe: what's the prize and why do you want it so much Ronnie: use your imagination fucks sake Ronnie: why do you always want your hand held Joe: waste of a question Joe: 'cos I'm such a mummy's boy duh Ronnie: if shed let you walk into the road i wouldnt be answering any of your pussy questions Ronnie: 💔 Joe: be a lot easier for all of us Joe: i'll throw myself in front of the tube, fuck up everyone's day Ronnie: ill pick myself up from kent then yeah Joe: oh so you've claimed selfish have you Ronnie: no shit nancy drew Ronnie: fitz is still crying that i 💉 you up Joe: bless Joe: you're not claiming what got me there Ronnie: cant i wasnt fucking there Joe: then don't feel guilty Ronnie: dont fucking flatter yourself Ronnie: could care less Joe: you who's trying Ronnie: taking away a question if youre gonna lie Joe: not 12, not a virgin, don't need you to hold my hand Joe: i wanted to and want to Ronnie: made up horse girl took it while i was away Joe: yeah Ronnie: get yourself checked for 🐴 aids or whatever Joe: could care less is right Ronnie: bullshit youll be gutted if you dick falls off before you put it in your ma Joe: talking about how much you do Ronnie: what are big sisters for Ronnie: ask the other one & hell stutter round how much i dont too Joe: it's not the same Ronnie: you aint special mckenna how many times Ronnie: let your ma feed you that bullshit Ronnie: & fuck knows what youve already caught from my blood Joe: bit late for warnings Ronnie: you had one first time we met like Ronnie: got eyes Joe: exactly Joe: i'm not gonna take the hint Ronnie: too subtle for you yeah Joe: if you think you could be any more blatant Joe: have fun trying Ronnie: i am Ronnie: kent dont know what hit it Joe: i bet Joe: where have you been but some strangers doss house then Joe: and that is a question Ronnie: fuck knows Ronnie: been a blur Joe: you know its about 1,500 square miles yeah Joe: remember one landmark Ronnie: you know youre only getting any fucking answers cause im coming down Joe: we don't have to play this game Joe: if you tell me where you are, you'll be picked up quicker and then you can get whatever you need Ronnie: [a location, lord only knows] Joe: alright Ronnie: for you getting high of your bullshit heroics Joe: if it makes you feel better that you need rescuing Ronnie: do i fuck Joe: then you just wanna see me Joe: either way Ronnie: shut up Joe: what's better for you? Ronnie: your money then your life Joe: very adam ant Joe: and can be arranged Joe: even though you don't have a horse or a car so I'm more of a highwayman than you Ronnie: i aint getting on your gilfriends horse i know where its been Joe: 😏 Joe: you can just admit she's more up for it than you Ronnie: admit youre fucking brain damaged Ronnie: let her be up for hand holding & playing house Joe: what are big sisters for Ronnie: beating the shit out of you Joe: look forward to it Ronnie: yeah youve missed me Joe: not afraid to say it Ronnie: write a song about it Ronnie: no names & you can play it for any bitch Joe: thanks for the hot tip Joe: kill some time on this drive Ronnie: shouldve stuck your judy in the boot Ronnie: be eye spy & red car the whole fucking way Joe: haven't put the plastic sheet down Joe: 💔 short notice Ronnie: so torch it Ronnie: i know youve always got a lighter on you Joe: what gave it away Ronnie: ive got eyes baby Joe: try not to wear it on my sleeve though Ronnie: done a shit job there Joe: why do you show yours off Ronnie: whats the point of only feeling it on the inside Joe: doing it is feeling it on the outside Ronnie: im what they fucking made me they can look at it Joe: that makes sense Joe: yeah Ronnie: what the hell are you scared of Joe: I dunno Joe: doesn't feel like fear Joe: blending in or disappearing has always been preferable Ronnie: & you have the balls to reckon im hiding here Joe: it ain't hiding if no fucker's looking Joe: easier for them and me, like Ronnie: if you gave a shit about easier you wouldnt have looked for me Joe: it was last-ditch attempt Joe: see if you were the same, like all of them too Joe: or not Joe: and you're not Ronnie: cause she ditched me Joe: maybe Ronnie: i didnt have the luxury of blending in Joe: it's not a luxury Ronnie: not when you have it Ronnie: care kids dont Joe: not at all Joe: it was a necessity to not blow my brains out and all i ended up was cracked and wishing i had Joe: you didn't have a family to not belong in Ronnie: & you did em such a massive fucking favour by not ending it all yeah Ronnie: i dont know you or fucking care & i can tell youre desperate to Joe: if she can't get over you, and she never stuck around to know you Joe: it's fuck all to do with the person and everything to do with the label Joe: son, brother Joe: you're meant to care even if life is better or basically the same without Ronnie: good fucking thing i like downers Ronnie: youd ruin an e Joe: cheers Ronnie: get over her for fucks sake Ronnie: keep saying youre not 12 Joe: didn't have that luxury Ronnie: loads more cunts willing to fuck you over Ronnie: live a little like Joe: yeah that'll make it worth it Joe: dead inspirational Ronnie: try your other sister Joe: i'm sure she'd have even more helpful advice Ronnie: take it then Ronnie: ill kill you before i give you a reason to live Joe: you know i ain't fucking looking for one Ronnie: yeah Joe: you need anything Ronnie: i didnt tell you were to get fuck all out of it Joe: apart from a lift Ronnie: what do you reckon Joe: kk Ronnie: 💘 Joe: still not healed Joe: also looks like jobn now Ronnie: anything to make you feel special baby Joe: what I reckon Ronnie: i didnt reckon ocd made you that delusional Ronnie: but when you change it to say jobs youll blend right in Joe: not quite as fitting as when johnny did it Ronnie: whats your girlfriends name Joe: i'll find one to make it fit Joe: josie or jody maybe Ronnie: 💔 no decent gear has a girls name Joe: girls like to party not nod out Joe: gutted Ronnie: ive got a lads name i get why youre confused Joe: you didn't wanna change it Ronnie: you offering up the cash Joe: bit of a waste Joe: just for the paperwork Ronnie: yeah it is Joe: you dunno what to pick Ronnie: swear words aint allowed Joe: don't matter if you're just doing it, telling new people it's your name like Ronnie: not an underage tranny Joe: right Ronnie: bit fucking late now Joe: youre attached Ronnie: i dont care Joe: yeah Ronnie: not what i hate her for Joe: it's a lesser sin Joe: and not the worst name Ronnie: if thats your way of trying to namedrop the others, dont Joe: why would I Ronnie: i dont know you cant really answer why youd do fuck all Joe: i don't need to ask if you want to know them Ronnie: like their names are gonna tell me who they are Joe: like you care Ronnie: like thats ever stopped you Joe: I can't un-find you Joe: but I'm not going to force you to meet any of them or know any more than what's been said Ronnie: no fixed address remember Ronnie: cant make it much fucking easier for you Joe: no, you can't Ronnie: stop crying then Ronnie: you can do better than a car crash Joe: do better Ronnie: yeah like washing up on the beach Ronnie: keep every cunt guessing how you died Joe: see how many beaches I can end up on Ronnie: dead romantic Joe: you can have fun with the hacksaw anyway Joe: least I could do Ronnie: you dont owe me Joe: i do Ronnie: for what Joe: for finding you when you didn't want finding Ronnie: you got the wrong bastard Ronnie: loads of others would be made up Joe: would they? Joe: regardless, I did it for me Ronnie: fuck off trying to take selfish off me Joe: 😏 Ronnie: been a few days since ive used a phone as a weapon Ronnie: keep on if you want it chucked at you Joe: you've promised better than that Ronnie: course you cant last through the foreplay Joe: alright, romantic Ronnie: you fucking wish soft lad Joe: you wish i wished Ronnie: i fucking dont Joe: alright Ronnie: keep the 🕯🌹 for your girlfriend like Ronnie: fuck all i can do with soft Joe: lighters and poppies suit me better as well Ronnie: next tattoos then Ronnie: dont know if itll look like a poppy but fuck it Ronnie: ill cut it out if you dont like it Joe: even if we avoid the sleeve, still a lot of skin to ruin Joe: are you just going over now Ronnie: waste of a question Ronnie: theres fuck all you can do Joe: what, my scribbles weren't a masterpiece compared to your boyfriends Ronnie: told you get what you pay for mckenna Ronnie: & that i dont get hard for mozart & the like Joe: weren't gonna score a symphony on you but alright Joe: no touching Ronnie: 💔 Ronnie: you & your baby habit dont score Joe: just pays Ronnie: dead comforting when i get robbed & left in a kent ditch Joe: it'll be the nicest ditch you've ever been in Ronnie: squatters rights Joe: my bed ain't comfy enough Ronnie: its the fact that its yours making me wanna hang myself with a sheet Ronnie: should say its too soft like you though shouldnt i Ronnie: gutted i fucked that up like Ronnie: we were playing so nice Joe: yeah, goldilocks suits Ronnie: unless your hair has fallen out Joe: I've not pulled it out either Joe: or soph, like Ronnie: not enough like a mane for her Joe: 💔 Joe: if only she'd have known me a few years ago Ronnie: get the family album out shell be made up Joe: shed a tear over our lack of horse Joe: sympathy fuck is better than none yeah Ronnie: the lack of me will really get her going Ronnie: had the pity eye fuck soon as i showed up Joe: she's an empath, babe, why she's so good at art Joe: lack of you might be an issue for me though Ronnie: another word for nosy cunt Joe: undoubtedly Joe: if i could sum up what was wrong with me for her I would Joe: but guess she likes the guessing Ronnie: if she was scouse shed just fucking come out with it Joe: gobshites, yeah Ronnie: what you get for having girlfriends who aint even wool Ronnie: self hatred making you go posh about it Joe: my last actual girlfriend was Ronnie: & youre claiming her Joe: not still writing songs about her Joe: well, never was Ronnie: shell still be 💔 Joe: nah Ronnie: you keep her waiting this long or am i that special Joe: you don't even know how far you've gone from london Joe: you're nearly 2 hours away Ronnie: if youre sticking to the speed limit Ronnie: stop being a pussy Joe: meet me and the car in the next ditch over Ronnie: more hand holding for fucks sake Joe: more than that if you want that lift Joe: have to drag the car out and hotwire it Joe: scrape me off the windshield Ronnie: i told you to stop getting me & what im into Joe: maybe i'm trying really hard Ronnie: far as hurting yourself goes thats the shittest way to have a go Joe: 💔 too weak Ronnie: keep your limp wrists on the steering wheel Ronnie: i wanna get out of here Joe: 😏 Joe: in a bit then Joe: got speeding to do and if you won't shut up Ronnie: youd have to try harder to make me Ronnie: that aint fucking likely Joe: only have to ask Joe: not nice or nothing Ronnie: i dont ask for handouts theyre given to me on account of all those mental problems ive got Joe: wouldn't it be nice to be the one doing the charity work for once Ronnie: if thats the only high youre offering me turn the fuck around Joe: not that daft Ronnie: your ma tell you that Joe: loads Ronnie: her judgements for shit not getting rid of us both with a hanger Joe: agreed Ronnie: dont put a kid in her shed only keep that one too Joe: still raising the last one Ronnie: like thatd stop her Ronnie: no fucking time wasted Joe: she did stop Joe: hence the 9 year gap oopsie baby Ronnie: reckon shed know what causes it by then Joe: Ireland got to her I guess Ronnie: dead keen for my invite now Joe: put it across as a valid form of contraception Joe: chlamydia Joe: they'd go for it Ronnie: worked for me Joe: postergirl Ronnie: 💔 there was no need to sew myself up Ronnie: be more fun than whichever fuck gave me it Joe: god willing Ronnie: your catholic one would be dead willing Joe: you're thinking of the wrong over-zealous christian country Ronnie: not on the right drugs for that kind of bullshit thinking Joe: 🍄 Joe: look out for cowshit whilst you're waiting Ronnie: that determined for me to see the sights yeah Joe: can't waste such an opportunity Ronnie: 🖕 watch me Joe: kent only comes calling so many times, like Joe: your choice Ronnie: shell be taking you every time uni gives you time off Joe: i'm good for it Ronnie: its well cute that you reckon youve got any say Ronnie: possessive type i heard Joe: 😏 Ronnie: she changed the 🔒 on your room yet Joe: keep you in or out? Ronnie: reckon it ended at the pity eye fuck for me & her Joe: 💔 Ronnie: yeah Joe: i'll talk her 'round for you Ronnie: fuck off Ronnie: i dont need you to translate for me Ronnie: we got the money your carer role is over Joe: it's all in the eyes, I heard you Joe: not patronizing on your deep relationship Ronnie: shut up Joe: 🤐 Ronnie: & drive faster Joe: 👌 Ronnie: fucking hell i can see why shes fucking obsessed with you Joe: if you want chat Joe: definitely in the wrong place Joe: she don't need to know my ears aren't listening to hers Ronnie: she already knows you do what youre told without talking back Ronnie: like a battered wife Joe: anything for an easy 💀 Ronnie: youre coming to the right place for that Ronnie: but i wont tell her Joe: it's not a reportable crime Ronnie: im not a snitch & i can wear shades if she tries to eye fuck her way to finding fuck all out Joe: dunno if that's enough of a disguise but I don't care Joe: a habit, she could say something about that Joe: but the rest Ronnie: what rest Ronnie: you only want a habit Joe: speak for yourself Ronnie: im echoing you Ronnie: you fucking said it Joe: you know it's not true though Ronnie: youre full of shit yeah Joe: yeah Joe: you too if you wanna pretend about it Ronnie: i dont play pretend im not a fucking kid Joe: good Joe: then you know what's happening here Ronnie: [a picture or video of whatever is happening where she is, lord knows] Joe: you don't have to reciprocate, dickhead Joe: no need to try and make me crash Ronnie: thought youd grown a set of balls & had em drop while ive been here Ronnie: what it sounded like Joe: how olds the other one Joe: he looks younger than me Ronnie: didnt do a survey Joe: I mean your mate, I don't know his name Joe: not Charlie Ronnie: 17 Joe: he must've been a baby when you met, like Ronnie: whats your point Joe: ain't got one Joe: just wondering Ronnie: youre not his type Joe: he's not mine Ronnie: stop wondering then Joe: why? Ronnie: hes fuck all to do with you Ronnie: your mam didnt push him out Joe: not trying to get to know him over you Ronnie: then why do you care Joe: same age as my brother Joe: and the girl my parents took in, one of Joe: that's it Ronnie: here we fucking go Ronnie: you said you werent gonna do that Joe: you kept asking Ronnie: cause i dont want you fucking nonce my brother Ronnie: give a fuck about yours Joe: 'cos you think I would, alright Joe: don't be stupid Ronnie: i dont know what youd do Ronnie: dont fucking know you Joe: well I'm straight and entirely uninterested Ronnie: youre also full of shit Joe: why do you give a fuck Joe: I'm only a year older, if I wanted to, I would Ronnie: why do i give a fuck that you lied to me or about him Ronnie: go ed & wonder about it Joe: it weren't a lie Joe: shit changes Ronnie: i dont wanna hear about them that aint gonna change Joe: fine Ronnie: fuck you Joe: also fine Joe: sorry, alright Joe: it means fuck all Ronnie: its not fine Ronnie: & it means im gonna be running comparisons in my head Joe: just forget about it Joe: of course they're all around my age ish, it don't mean you know any more about them Ronnie: fucks sake Joe: it don't matter Ronnie: cause you get to tell me what matters too yeah Joe: come on Ronnie: you dont or what to fucking do either Joe: then what Joe: I said it, I said sorry Joe: you do what you must Ronnie: go home & give horse girl your sorry Joe: fuck that Joe: you still need to get back to London and I'm nearly there Ronnie: i got here i can leave here Joe: bullshit Ronnie: you wish Joe: well I'm still coming Ronnie: i dont care Ronnie: youve been going on about how big it is Ronnie: stay the fuck away from me Joe: Jesus fucking christ don't be such a pussy Ronnie: you fucking wish Joe: whatever Joe: this is going nowhere right now Joe: you know where to find me when you wanna actually do something about it Ronnie: your half arsed self destruction is going nowhere Ronnie: do something about that your fucking self instead of trying to bait me Joe: I'm still on my way Ronnie: kents full of real pussys you can save Ronnie: youll 💘 it Joe: I don't give a fuck, Ronnie Ronnie: why are you crying Ronnie: you fucked me over Joe: because this is a waste of time Ronnie: youre a junkie now get used to it Joe: at least I've got that Ronnie: youre welcome baby Joe: good luck finding decent shit in kent Ronnie: not going with you dont mean im staying here Joe: but I've got mine already Ronnie: you can have selfish Joe: I told you I was bringing more for you Joe: if you can get over it you can have your share Ronnie: ill take it over it not Ronnie: *or Ronnie: you cant fucking stop me Joe: say you want me to come then Joe: i know where you are, not the other way 'round Ronnie: youre the liar mckenna Ronnie: i dont want you to be anywhere Joe: then why should I come and share Joe: that's a question Ronnie: you love heroics Joe: [show up at this point] Ronnie: [what a fun little reunion that'll be] Joe: [so, we know the vibes but also do we wanna pitch it out] Ronnie: [we totally can for our own amusement/in case a moment or something happens again] Joe: [so obviously he gets there and she's gonna be fuming hens, yeah?] Ronnie: [she gonna fight him lol enjoy that random peeps] Ronnie: [but that works cos like if someone takes that seriously instead of realising we just flirting with each other then they gotta go] Joe: [go away for some alone time to take your drugs somewhere, we voting beach] Ronnie: [yeah because realistically nobody will be there at this o clock unless they are likewise up for shady shit so it works for them as well as being romantic for us because has she been to the beach before probably not] Joe: [so unintentionallly wholesome] Ronnie: [try not to freak out immediately about that this time lads] Joe: [or OD again] Ronnie: [or freeze to death because when are you ever dressed for the weather gal] Joe: [have to stay close purely for warmth whoops] Ronnie: [can't pretend you're angry enough to be at the other end of the beach its not that deep] Joe: [shame it'll be too late to get fish n chips or something beach related but you can skim stones] Ronnie: [I wonder if there's anywhere you could break into because always a mood] Joe: [on a lot of seafronts they have those shelter moments that are boarded up you know what I mean] Ronnie: [yeah that was what I had in mind] Joe: [was that tracy beaker when jess and that girl were snuggled in there and tracy thought it was a lad lollol] Ronnie: [I loved that bit] Joe: [soz i've forgotten your name but that whole character and vibe was a mood, buzzing for the show/movie whatever they're doing] Ronnie: [a child Tess mood 100%] Joe: [fosho fosho, you're gonna have to sleep on this beach/his car 'cos not letting you drive in that state for that long yet tah] Ronnie: [we all know you're gonna be snuggling and I'm here for it, maybe you can get fish and chips in the am/when you wake up] Joe: [for breakfast lol, get all the sugary snacks as well like candy floss doughnuts, casual binge here like neither of you clearly eats much day to day] Ronnie: [healthwise you've both got bigger problems so we can allow it] Joe: [sugar high, living for unintentional wholesomeness lol] Ronnie: [love the childlike vibe always] Joe: [when I go the hunstanton with the gals, which is like, scummy seaside vibes you know, there's always rides there, but also there was like a tattoo hut where you could get actual tattoos for like a fiver and it looks so dubious lol] Ronnie: [omg that is amazing and we must] Joe: [you could get piercings too which might have him do just to mess with it] Ronnie: [we know she already has so likewise not gonna resist getting another, the more extra the better though placement wise cos we do love to shock joseph with our endeavours] Ronnie: [whack a tit out casually or whatever like] Joe: [lmao, dreading these infections hens] Ronnie: [I went to margate and all I got was this lousy tat and a persistent infection, put that on a t-shirt] Joe: [shame they only do flashes gals] Ronnie: [get some DIYing happening lads, we know that kind of thing is flirting for you] Joe: [the tension at this point like you've actually shown loads of restraint even though the opposite seems true lol] Ronnie: [lowkey not what anyone would expect of you which is why I like it] Joe: [mhmm not actually all doom and gloom even if we say and pretend it or what would be the point] Ronnie: [they'd actually be having such a lovely time and when was the last time either of them did, I'm fine about it yep] Joe: [truly, it ain't just about the drugs or any of the 'fucked up ness' from the off and that's the tea no one else be seeing] Ronnie: [mhmm and it wouldn't last how it does if it was] Joe: [connection huns] Ronnie: [the TENSION on this car journey back like don't crash tbh] Joe: [at least you can play really loud music and pretend that's distraction enough] Ronnie: [and play with your new injuries] Ronnie: [lowkey bonding even more about your love of music though we see you] Joe: [mhmm, when it's not all classical obvs 'cos you aren't Rosaline] Ronnie: [probably drop her at Charlie's hun cos otherwise something is gonna happen] Joe: [hope you brought him some rock but i know you did not lol, go make friends again, you go think 'bout your life joseph] Ronnie: [probably stole him a postcard that you've written some bants on to slide under his door] Joe: [that's cute, hilarious over-sexual postcard as they always are] Ronnie: [yeah exactly and then he knows you're back so you can talk or whatever you're gonna do to clear the air] Joe: [that's this era in general we know the vibe]

[rather-impertinent]

The Girl Next Door Chp. 3

A/N: Hi friends! Here is chapter 3 at last! It’s a long one, so you might want to grab yourself a cup of tea or, in the spirit of this chapter, pour yourself a drink! I hope you enjoy it and I’d love to know what you think! xo

Demelza Poldark 9:09pm

DWIGHT <3

Hurry up!!!

Dwight Enys 9:10pm

I’m ready, I’m just waiting for Caroline. Literally waiting right outside her front door. Maybe she’s ignoring me?

Demelza Poldark 9:10pm

Don’t be ridiculous! You’re handsome and lovely, what’s not to like?! X

Dwight Enys 9:10pm

Haha oh ffs how much have you had to drink?

Demelza Poldark 9:12pm

Oh, A LOT! You’ve got some catching up to do! How amazing is autocorrect btw?! Anyways MOVE YOUR ARSE DON’T MAKE ME COME OVER YOU KNOW I WILL

Dwight sighed loudly. She would definitely come over to drag them both out if they didn’t show up soon. Dwight knocked on Caroline’s door again. “Caroline? Are you ready yet?”

“Just a sec!” She called through the door. Dwight heard clattering behind the door and assumed she was likely still getting ready and would thus be much longer than one second. He genuinely couldn’t believe she had agreed to come in the first place, and, more than that, seemed happy to be invited. That is, before she had smiled at him in her unusual way, as she had won an argument they had not been having.

While Caroline was busy still getting ready, Dwight seized the opportunity to take out his phone to see if he looked semi-presentable. He eyed his stubble and began to feel that he should have probably shaved, but he supposed he still looked fine. He smoothed his hair and double checked that there was nothing in his teeth, which of course there wasn’t as he’d literally brushed them twenty minutes ago and had neither eaten nor drank anything since. His aftershave was a little strong though, maybe. Why was he so fidgety? Probably because he hadn’t seen his friends for a while and didn’t want them to go all parental on him if he looked like shit. Yeah, that was it.

Demelza Poldark 9:18pm

DWIGHT WH Y ARE YOU STILL IN YOUR FLAT I CAN SEE YOU ON SNAPCHAT MAPS I WILL PUT MY JACKET ON IN A MIN I SWEAR TO GOD

Just as Dwight began typing a soothing reply to his distressed, inebriated friend, Caroline’s flat door swung open. She snatched her coat off its hanger and grabbed her bag before stepping onto the landing. “Sorry, sorry! My stupid fucking shower took ages to heat up!”

Dwight simply stared at her, blinking several times, as if unable to believe she was real. Yes, normally she was very pretty, but he had never seen her properly dressed up before. She stood in front of him in a one-shouldered white dress, her hair long and wavy, with a pale pink colour on her lips and a light smoky-eye behind her thick, black eyelashes. “Wow. Um – you – ehm – you look great.” She fought a smile at his compliment and smoothed her white dress. “Thank you,” she replied evenly as she buttoned her coat. She then shrugged and flipped her long curly locks over her shoulder, “I know.” He laughed at her lack of modesty. “You do know we’re only going to the Red Lion around the corner though, and not some red-carpet event?” he taunted cheekily, then immediately prayed it wouldn’t offend her. Caroline gasped quietly and eyed him with surprise, but appreciated the tease. “Well, in the words of Coco Chanel: ‘A woman can be overdressed but never over elegant.’” She sauntered past him and headed down the stairs with as much grace as if she was wearing her fluffy pug slippers, that he’d seen when he attended on her pet, as opposed to heels.

It was then Dwight realised that a small dog, by the name of Horace, was following her closely at her heels. “Um, are you bringing Horace, too? I don’t think the pub allows dogs…” He frowned and bit his lip.

She looked at him as though he was the stupidest person in the world. “Yes, Dr Enys, I thought it would be a great idea to bring my pug to a bar that wouldn’t let him and then chain him to a fence for the night while I get drunk inside,” she replied, her voice dripping with scathing sarcasm. “Do you think I’m an idiot? I’m dropping him off at Mrs Figg’s flat, she loves him.”

“The latter sentence would have sufficed,” Dwight said tightly, not caring for her tone at his simple, reasonable, question.

She knocked on door number 12 of their building and awaited an answer. “Well, not for me!” she replied sweetly, a sardonic smiled on her face. Mrs Figg appeared at her door then, very happy to see Dwight and Caroline, and – above all – Horace; whom she promised to spoil rotten, telling Caroline to enjoy herself and that she could come and collect Horace the next day at any time, or even allow him to stay until Monday, if she so wished.

A little over five minutes later, as the door to their apartment building slammed shut behind them, Caroline asked: “So, how far is it to the pub?”

Dwight made an uncertain noise, as it had been quite a while since he’d gone on a night out, and longer still since he had been to this specific pub. “About a ten to fifteen-minute walk, I’d say. Will you manage it in those shoes?” He motioned to her glossy white heels, which made her an inch taller than him.

Caroline looked down at her shoes and then at Dwight and proceeded to laugh heartily. “Oh, trust me when I say I can walk better in heels than I can in flats!”

He looked at her 5-inch heels, genuinely perplexed. “What? How is that even possible?” His mind went into overdrive as he tried to recall the exact, medical formation of the human foot.

“Well, you’ll remember that I said I did a bit of modelling to you yesterday?” He nodded. “I kind of lied. I actually did a lot of modelling, it was kind of my career. It was nice to wear expensive clothes and have your makeup done by other people but honestly, seven years of being told how thin you should be and how you should wear your hair and how you should dress just got really tiring.” She laughed it off, but Dwight had a feeling that the comment wasn’t as flippant as she’d intended it to be.

He scratched his ear, unsure of what to say next. He coughed, which came out in a puff in the cold, night air. “So, is that why you–“

Dwight’s phoned vibrated and pinged at full volume, not once, but twice. He gritted his teeth together – this better be a spam email from Dominos. “Sorry, hold on, two seconds.” He fished his iPhone out of the pocket of his dark jeans and opened the messages. Caroline distracted herself with her phone, too.

 Ross Poldark 9:27pm

Where are you mate?

Think Dem is about to have a nervous breakdown, if I don’t fucking kill her first for being a pain in the arse! Move it!!!

Dwight Enys 9:27pm

OMG IM FUCKING COMING IM LITERALLY AROUND THE CORNER

Ross Poldark 9:27pm

Alright keep your cock on! See you in a min. Want a beer?

Dwight Enys 9:28pm

Yeah please. Heineken

Ross Poldark 9:28pm

Well then hurry up and get here so you can order yourself one ;)

Dwight Enys 9:28pm

Why am I friends with you? Can’t believe I fell for that

Ross Poldark 9:28pm

You should know better by now Enys. We saved you and your lady friend a seat btw ;)

Dwight Enys 9:29pm

Oh don’t fucking start she’s not my lady friend

Ross Poldark 9:29pm

She is a lady is she not? And your friend?? Or are you lying to us and bringing a bloke? If this is your way of coming out Dwight it’s a bit extra but we accept and love you no matter what

Dwight Enys 9:30pm

Omg Ross

I’m gonna kill you before the end of the night I can feel it

If you fucking say anything embarrassing about me to Caroline I will never speak to you again. I will literally unstitch the scar on your face and let you slowly bleed to death

Ross Poldark 9:30pm

:(

Now now Dwight we mustn’t fight, you don’t want to upset your lady friend x

And with that, Dwight firmly locked his phone and let out an exasperated groan. Caroline, who had been watching Horace on her phone via the PugCam she had given to Mrs Figg, looked up at Dwight with furrowed brows. “What’s wrong?” she asked as they continued their way down the narrow streets, Caroline’s heels echoing loudly.

Dwight wiped his face. “My friends…” He sighed. “They are lovely people. Really, truly, the best people ever. But please, please, don’t listen to anything they say about me tonight, they are determined to ruin my life.” He chuckled, but his eyes held a serious, somewhat nervous, gaze.

Caroline placed her phone into her coat pocket as the sign of the Red Lion came into view. “But that’s the best part about having friends, Dr Enys!” she cried in amusement, smiling in victory as Dwight sighed and held the door open for her.

Ross Poldark chuckled as he placed his phone back in his pocket. “Well, I’ve managed to wind Dwight up nicely, so let’s see how flustered we can make him when he gets here,” he announced to the table, rubbing his hands together like a cartoon villain. Francis and George laughed in agreement, but all of the women looked at Ross, appalled. They were very defensive of their ‘little brother’ friend, even though he happened to be almost 4 years older than Demelza and was only 2 months older than Elizabeth.

Demelza slapped Ross on his, admittedly large, bicep. “Enough, Ross. When was the last time Dwight even talked to a girl that wasn’t any of us? He must genuinely like her – even if it is just as a friend – so don’t ruin it for him, please.” She placed her hand on top of his which rested on his thigh. He moved to place his hand on top and shook hers gently before interlacing their fingers, a gesture which Demelza knew meant that he had agreed to her terms.

“Yes, Ross, please don’t ruin it for him,” Elizabeth begged from the top of the table, before whispering aside to her husband: “Francis, darling, please make sure Ross doesn’t do anything stupid.” She placed a hand on his shoulder and brought out her largest doe eyes.

Francis took a gulp of his beer and whined internally at her ability to make him do anything. “I promise I will try, my dear. But you do know that no one can actually stop Ross from doing something stupid, I think it’s part of his DNA at this point!”

Elizabeth chuckled and leaned in to place a kiss on his cheek before wiping away the stain of her red lipstick. “Well, I’m definitely glad it’s not part of your DNA.”

Her phone buzzed, and she snatched it quickly, causing Francis to raise his eyebrows. “Who’s that?”

“No one,” she lied, concealing her phone from her husband’s view as smile spread over her face.

“Elizabeth.”

Elizabeth sighed. “Okay, fine! It’s Emma, I was just making sure that everything was OK.” She showed Francis a picture of Geoffrey Charles and Julia watching what appeared to be Finding Nemo.

“That’s a sweet photo but you’ve got to loosen the reins, darling, he’ll be starting school next year. He’ll be fine.”

“I know. I just miss him, that’s all,” she said glumly, leaning into her husband. He rubbed the side of her arm in comfort and discreetly pushed her fifth glass of red wine further away from her grasp.

George tapped Francis on the shoulder. “Is Elizabeth alright?” he whispered, his brows furrowed in concern.

Francis waved a hand dismissively and pointed at her glass of wine, a small smirk on his face. “Yeah, she’s fine, just missing GC.”

George nodded and continued his conversation with Verity, Andrew and Sam. “So, Sam, why didn’t you stay at home with Emma?”

Sam sat up stiffly, having spent most of the night thus far silently and contentedly listening to the conversations around him. “Well, ye see, she insisted that I go out ‘cause I’ve not seen you guys for a while. Plus, she ain’t feeling too well and was happy to babysit since it’s kind of her job anyways.” Sam smiled, beaming with pride that his soon-to-be wife was the friendliest nursery teacher in all of Cornwall. Resolutely sober on account of his strong Christian faith, he was all too happy to ensure his friends were able to get home safely at the end of, what would undoubtedly be, a long night of drinking.

Demelza and Ross were discussing plans for Julia’s third birthday when Demelza’s phone pinged.

Dwight Enys 9:38pm

We’re here. Where are you guys? Can’t see you, it’s weirdly busy in here tonight wtf

Demelza squealed and leaped out of her chair. “Dwight’s here!” She informed the rest of the table over her shoulder as she pushed through the groups of people, making her way to the front door.

Dwight glanced around the crowd of people in the pub – searching for his friends – before shrugging his shoulders in defeat and looking at Caroline, “Can I get you something to drink?” He had to shout slightly due to the amount of people drunkenly chatting as well as the rather loud jukebox music.

She smiled. “Yes, please, I’ll have a–“

“–Dwight!” Shrieked Demelza, stealing the end of Caroline’s sentence, before flinging her arms around her friend, nearly crushing his bones with the tightness of her hug. Although, it had been about three weeks since they’d last seen each other, and so Dwight wasn’t complaining. In fact, he was quite glad that one of his best friends seemed to miss him just as much as he’d missed her.

“Demelza,” he greeted, trying to smile and breathe. Demelza realised him from her grasp and looked curiously at the beautiful blonde woman who accompanied him.

“Demelza, this is Caroline. Caroline, my friend Demelza.”

Caroline extended her smooth, porcelain hand. “Hi. How do you–“

Demelza ignored her proffered hand and enveloped the stranger in a tight hug instead. “Hi, Caroline! It’s so nice to meet you!” She grinned widely at her, and Caroline couldn’t help but returning the redhead’s infectious, genuine smile. “Come meet everyone!” Demelza insisted, taking her arm and pulling her along.

“Demelza,” Dwight hissed, but it was too late, and they’d already began approaching the table, so he quickly followed like the obedient puppy he was.

The three of them made their way through the crowded pub to their table, which just so happened to be right at the other side of the building but was conveniently located next to the bar. “Excuse us, sorry, pardon me, sorry, excuse me, sorry, can I just get by one second?”

They arrived at the large table to a chorus of “Hey, Dwight!” followed immediately by not-so-subtle staring at the woman who accompanied him.

“Hi, guys!” He cleared his throat. “This is my new neighbour, and friend, Caroline.”

Caroline smiled, confidently waved and said: “Hello! Pleased to meet you all.”

Dwight again cleared his throat, glad that the introduction was over and that he had escaped unscathed. “So, what’s everyone drinking? My round.” George knocked back the remainder of his beer and tried to conceal a burp afterwards. “I’ll have a Becks, please.” “Red wine, please, Dwight,” Elizabeth slurred slightly, a happy smile on her warm face. “Same for me, please,” chimed Verity, her head resting on her husband’s shoulder.

Francis scratched his stubble in contemplation. “Err, I think I’ll go for a rum and coke this time, please.” Ross simply held up his glass, which proudly displayed the Jameson logo, staring at Dwight as though he was questioning the bonds of their friendship. Demelza rolled her eyes at Ross’s inability to simply ask for a drink. “I’ll have a gin and tonic, please, Dwight. Thanks.” She patted his shoulder and sat back down in her seat next to her husband. Dwight nodded at Demelza and turned his attention to Caroline. “What about you, Caroline?” “Do they have any Moët?” she asked as she removed her coat and sat down on the last seat of the booth, peering past his form to studying the drinks behind the bar. Everyone exchanged eyebrow-risen glances at her request. Dwight shook his head slowly. “Um, I’m not sure. But even if they did I’m afraid I don’t really have the budget to pay about £35 for a glass of wine,” he laughed nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. Caroline’s eyes widened; she did not know it cost so much for a single glass, and it happened to be her favourite drink. “Oh, of course not. Sorry. Um, do they have cocktails?” she inquired coolly, trying to read the menu behind him.

Again, Dwight shook his head. “Unfortunately, not. This is kind of a shithole pub, you see. But we’re all very fond of it. Great memories and all that!” Everyone else hummed in agreement.

Caroline’s face fell. What the fuck was she going to drink? She couldn’t bear cheap wine after all the fine wines she’s drank throughout her life, prosecco would be a struggle too – as would cheap gin – she knew she did not like rum… Dwight noticed her struggle and the pretty pink flush creeping up on her cheeks. “How about a vodka lemonade?” he suggested lightly. She smiled in relief at her saviour. “Um, yes. Sure,” she replied brightly. “Thank you!” She called at his turned back as he approached the bar. “Oh, shit,” Dwight muttered as he got to the bar, realising he had just accidentally been rude. “Sam, Andrew, do you guys want a coke or something?” he shouted over the playing jukebox, which had been turned up when The Arctic Monkeys came on. “No, thank you,” the designated drivers called in unison. Caroline examined her nail varnish and tried to make herself feel at ease without Dwight being there. She didn’t even know anything about these people, she only knew Demelza’s name, how does one even start a conversation? Demelza sensed her hesitation and opened her mouth to speak before Elizabeth’s excited shriek pierced everyone in the vicinity’s ears.

Elizabeth repeatedly slapped her hand against the wooden table, and off her husband’s arm before pointing to the bar. “Guys, look! Rosina is talking to Dwight!” She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

Everyone’s heads snapped around and the boys began to wolf whistle, which Demelza reprimanded them for. “Stop it! Rosina is a nice girl, don’t embarrass her!”

Ross insisted: “We’re not trying to embarrass her, love, we’re trying to embarrass Dwight!”

Caroline examined Rosina from her seat. She was a young – late teens or early twenties – pretty, blonde girl, with a curvy figure, full lips and chubby cheeks. In other words, serious competition. Not that Caroline was in competition with anyone for Dwight, of course. He could talk to any girl he liked, she didn’t care. Besides, even if she was interested in Dwight – which she wasn’t – there wouldn’t be any competition. Wrapping men around her little finger is what Caroline had always done best, and could do with Dwight, if necessary. But it wouldn’t be. Satisfied, she relaxed in her seat and tried to catch everyone’s names as they spoke.

Dwight soon returned with drinks and without Rosina. He placed the tray of alcohol on the table and dispensed the drinks to his friends before sitting down.

Elizabeth stared at him, her glance then shifting around the pub. “Where’s Rosina?”

Dwight’s brows furrowed as he took a sip of his Heineken. “What do you mean? She’s over there somewhere,” he pointed vaguely to the other side of the room, “She came out with Ruth.”

“All the more reason to have invited her to join us,” Elizabeth insisited, “Ruth has fancied George since she was about eleven years old! Then George could’ve had a lady friend, too!” Elizabeth smiled, oblivious to the fact that she was the lady friend that George desired.

George physically shivered. “Ugh, she’s so annoying, though! And she’s like half my age!” George protested to Francis before laughing into the rim of his beer bottle.

Ross’s spine straightened. “Actually, George, she’s only nine years younger than you. Demelza is nine years younger than me, is there something you’re trying to say?” He inquired seriously, his narrowed eyes fixed on George’s form as the grip on his glass of whisky tightened.

Demelza placed a hand on her husband’s chest. “Ross,” she warned quietly, trying to push him back against his chair.

Francis, too, placed a hand on George’s shoulder; he had definitely had enough to drink that he would not hesitate to fight Ross if he suggested it. George felt the firm grasp of his friend’s hand and relaxed. “Of course not, Ross,” he said, painfully cordially before taking a sip of his beer. “Not everything is about you, dickhead,” he muttered under his breath.

“What did you just say?” Ross demanded, his voice rising. “Fucking say it again, I dare you!” He stood up, his index finger pointing at George, his nostrils flaring. Demelza grasped at his arm, willing him to calm down, her brows furrowed.

Dwight and Verity groaned. But Dwight merely took another sip of his drink.

“Guys, enough! Stop it!” Elizabeth cried in distress. She hated violence and was having a good night up until now and did not want it to be ruined by a silly fight.

“’Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honour,’” Sam preached, hoping to diffuse the tension.

Francis stood up beside George and grabbed his arm. “Yes, I agree. Stop it. Both of you. Come on George, we’ll go outside for a cigarette until you calm down.” He hauled him from the table by his arm and thence out of the fire exit into the night air.

Caroline tapped Dwight on the shoulder and motioned for him to lean in. “What was all that about?” she whispered, her eyes alight with intrigue.

“Oh, yeah,” Dwight whispered, realising he’d forgotten to explain the politics of his friend group to her, “Ross and George hate each other, they have done since school. No one can remember why, not even them. But George is best friends with Francis, who is Ross’s cousin and who is also married to Elizabeth, the pretty, drunk brunette over there,” He pointed to her and she offered a drunken smile and small wave. “So, they try tolerate each other for the sake of the rest of us.” He then pointed to Verity in the corner. “That’s Verity, Francis’s older sister and Ross’s cousin, obviously. She’s married to Andrew, he’s really nice. He’s in the Navy so we don’t get to see him often. Beside him is Sam, who is training to be a minister and he’s getting married to our other friend, Emma, pretty soon. You know Demelza, and she’s married to Ross, for sins she committed in a past life,” he concluded with a smile.

Caroline sipped her drink through the two little black straws in her glass as she glanced around the table; everyone now engaged in pleasant conversation once again. “They seem nice.”

He smiled thoughtfully. “They are. You should talk to them,” he encouraged, “don’t be scared!”

“OK, I will,” she quipped, accepting his challenge. “Demelza,” she called across the table with confidence, causing everyone else’s conversations to halt, “is that your natural hair colour?”

Demelza twisted a long, copper curl nervously around her index finger. “Uh, yeah, why?”

“It’s amazing! Do you know how many people would die to have hair that colour in the fashion industry?”

Demelza jumped out of her chair and rushed over to give Caroline another hug. “Oh, thank you, Caroline!” She beamed at the pretty blonde. “Dwight, I love this woman! You can stay!” she told Caroline, patting her hand while making Sam move up so she could sit next to her new friend.

Dwight and Ross exchanged amused glances. “So, Ross, how’s work?”

Ross groaned, and sipped his whisky. “Shite, and you?”

“Shite,” Dwight agreed with a strained sigh.

“Nice.” They clinked their drinks together and took large gulps, illogically hoping that the burning sensations in their throats would somehow alleviate the stress of their respectable professions.

Demelza noticed this and sighed in sympathy. Caroline looked at her quizzically and so Demelza motioned to the two drinking men in front of them. “I think they’re both having a bad time at work right now. They’re both exhausted, you can tell, but they won’t ask for help or any time off. Ross works for Shell, and he’s pretty high up in the company,” she paused to smile proudly, “but as the oil industry is a little on the fence right now, he’s been having a hard time. And Dwight… Well, Dwight is just Dwight. His entire life is his job – and he’s worked hard for it – but I just wish he’d spend more time with other people, doing normal things. This is the first time he’s been out for about a month and last time he didn’t even drink because he was working a nightshift the next day! A nightshift!” She raised her arms in exasperation and Caroline laughed at her animation. It was clear that Demelza cared deeply for Dwight, as she no doubt cared for all her friends, thought Caroline. It would be nice to have a friend like her.

Caroline took another sip of her drink, finding – to her own surprise – that she liked it very much. “Yes, Dwight does work a lot. I hear him go to work every day, sometimes I see him leave or come in if I’m walking Horace.”

Demelza’s face lit up. “Is Horace your dog?”

Caroline smiled and immediately pulled out her phone to show Demelza a picture of him. “Yes, I love him so much. He’s my baby.”

“Awww,” cooed Demelza, also pulling out her phone from her handbag. “This is my dog Garrick, he’s getting old which makes me sad but he’s the sweetest dog in the world. This is him with my daughter Julia, she’s nearly three, I can’t believe it!”

“Oh, what a sweet photo! Horace doesn’t like children. Or people in general, really. He hates Dwight!” Caroline began to laugh as she recalled how Horace had growled every time Dwight had touched – or attempted to touch – him.

“Who hates me?” Dwight inquired, his ears turning hot at the mention of his name.

“My dog,” replied Caroline, her eyes dancing with mirth, “And me!” she added, her pink lips pursed cheekily.

Dwight chuckled quietly and took another gulp of his beer, which was now empty. “Aha, see, you clearly don’t hate me; if you did, you wouldn’t have come with me tonight.” He crossed his arms across his chest and smiled in victory at her.

Caroline flipped her hair over her shoulder and narrowed her eyes at him, resenting the implication that she was interested in him. “Goodness, are all men so odiously conceited, Dr Enys? Or is it just you?” Ross whooped at her comeback, thinking there was no way his shy friend could retaliate.

He smiled tightly before replying in a light tone: “Demelza, could you look in Caroline’s glass? I thought I asked the barman to put in some lime cordial, but it seems he put in the Oxford Dictionary of English instead.”

This time Ross whooped so loud the table beside theirs turned around to see what was going on; Ross slapped Dwight hard on the back and began to roar with laughter. “Oh-ho, Dwight! Good one, mate! I didn’t think you had it in you!”

“Neither did I,” Caroline commented as she continued to stare at him, her eyes still narrowed. Though Dwight thought she somehow looked… impressed?

Before he had time to contemplate this further, he started as he felt a hand on his left shoulder. “Hi, Dwight!” sang an absolutely inebriated Rosina, running her hand down his arm without hesitation.

Dwight’s cheeks instantly inflamed. “Uh, hi, Rosina,” he said quietly.

Caroline cleared her throat, waiting to be introduced to this pretty blonde, but Dwight took no notice of her as Rosina pulled up a chair beside him. “How’s your leg?” he asked her.

She pulled her dress further up her thigh as if he would somehow be able to see her cured knee ligaments better. “So much better! All thanks to you!” She placed an arm on his shoulder and smiled sweetly.

Dwight laughed uneasily and wished he hadn’t already finished his drink. “You’re welcome.”

The two of them then became engaged in light conversation, which Caroline watched with slightly narrowed eyes. Why wasn’t he paying attention to her? And who was Rosina? And why did she even care? Caroline went to take another drink from her glass but realised it was empty. Perhaps she could win Dwight’s attention over with a kind gesture. “How about we do some shots?” Caroline loudly asked the table, “My treat!” Everyone else agreed immediately and Caroline felt proud of her brilliant idea and went to order twenty-odd Jägerbombs.

A little over 3 hours later, Caroline began to think that her idea wasn’t so brilliant after all, as she sat crouched over the toilet, her sick everywhere except from the actual toilet bowl. Through the incessant ringing in her ears, she thought she could hear banging on the door behind her. It vaguely sounded like Demelza, but she could not make out what she was saying. Her face felt numb, as did her hands and the rest of her body, and the room span so violently she felt like she was on the teacup ride at the fair.

“Caroline! Are you alright? Can you open the door, please?” Demelza heard no reply and began to worry her bottom lip.

Verity came in then, looking for Demelza, very tipsy but not quite drunk. “My dear,” she said, placing her hand on Demelza’s shoulder, “Ross is looking for you. He told me to tell you that he loves you with all his heart and that he misses you and wants you to come back to your seat so he can admire you,” she snickered, “He is so sentimental when he’s–“

The worried look on the redhead’s face made Verity stop speaking. “Demelza? What is it?”

“It’s Caroline, she’s been sick, and now she’s not answerin’! I think I’m going to have to climb over the stall and get her. Will you hold my shoes?” Demelza did not wait for a reply and removed her black heels and placed them in Verity’s arms before climbing onto the toilet cistern and then over the cubicle wall. She landed with a thud but was unhurt. “Shit, she’s been sick everywhere. We’re going to have to take her home. Verity, will you go tell Dwight that we’re going to get Caroline a taxi?” Demelza called through the locked door of the bathroom stall.

“Yes, of course! I’ll just leave your shoes by the sink!” Verity replied, as she went off in search of Dwight.

Six minutes later, having waded her way through the various groups of people, Verity tapped Dwight on the shoulder. He turned to look at her, his eyes slightly glazed over. “Dwight, we’re going to walk Caroline to the taxi rank, she really needs to go home.”

Dwight’s neck craned past Verity, looking for Caroline, his pulse growing faster. “What? Where is she? Is she alright? And you can’t mean the one on Hilton Street? That’s far too dangerous for you guys at this time of night! I’ll take Caroline home, she is my neighbour after all.” He excused himself from Rosina’s company and went to find Caroline, but was halted in his search by one of Ruth Teague’s sisters as he tried to enter the ladies’ toilet.

“Eh, what do you think you’re doing? This is the girls’ toilets; the men’s is over there!” She pointed behind him and crossed her arms in feminist defiance.

Dwight sighed and danced impatiently on the spot. “Look, Tracey, I’m not a creep, you know I’m not a creep.” Weird start, Enys. “I’m just looking for my friend Caroline, is she in there?”

Tracey snorted: “Is she the gorgeous blonde who’s spewed all over one of the cubicles? I think Demelza is looking after her, pretty sure she’s slumped on the floor.”

Oh, fuck. Not good. He would have to pull out the ‘I am a doctor’ card. He willed himself not to slur and said, in his best professional tone: “Yep, that’s her. Could you please let me by? I need to make sure she doesn’t have alcohol poisoning.”

Tracey, mercifully, stood aside and let him enter without another word. Sure enough, Caroline was slumped on the floor, Demelza’s arm around her, trying to coax her into drinking some water.

Demelza breathed a sigh of relief as soon she saw Dwight. “Oh, Dwight! Thank God! Caroline is fucked, I think she’s asleep.”

“I’m… not… asleep…,” mumbled Caroline against Demelza’s shoulder. “I want my bed,” she moaned. “Want my bed.”

Dwight kneeled in front of them on the floor next to the sinks, his jeans becoming wet. Considering the amount of stick men get for being unhygienic, Dwight would wager that the ladies’ toilets were far more disgusting than the men’s. “Caroline? Can you hear me? Do you want me to take you home?”

Caroline made an effort to lift her head, though it felt very heavy. A handsome man’s blurry features can into her view. “Dwight?” she asked weakly. “Yes… please take me home.”

With the combined strength of Dwight and Demelza, they managed to get Caroline on her feet and walking – or rather, stumbling. Their arms were wrapped around her back, holding her up. As they exited the toilet and entered the bar area again, they were met by Rosina. “Oh, Dwight! There you are!” she smiled and ran her fingers through her curly hair. “Elizabeth said you’d gone to find Caroline and take her home. Could you drop me off, too?” She fluttered her eyelashes at him.

“I think we’re going to walk, it will be a nightmare trying to get a taxi at this hour,” he deflected calmly.

His deflection was unsuccessful. “Oh, that’s fine! I only live about 5 minutes away anyways! I’ll just grab my coat.”

Dwight sighed and carefully let go of Caroline, leaning her on Demelza. “I’ll go grab our jackets, too, Dem, one second.”

He returned to their table to find Ross and Francis preaching about the disarray of the government – Verity, Andrew and Sam all ready to leave. Elizabeth was asleep on George, who did not seem to mind one bit. Dwight grabbed his and Caroline’s coats and tried to sneak away without being noticed.

Sam ruined his plan. “Dwight! Do you want a lift, mate?” Everyone looked at him expectantly, except Elizabeth, who snored quietly in the corner.

“No, thanks, Sam. I have to walk Rosina and Caroline home.”

Francis’s mouth fell open before an amused smile stretched across his face. “Rosina and Caroline? My, my, my friend! This is a change!” He raised a suggestive eyebrow.

Before Dwight could tell him to fuck off, Ross grasped his best friend’s hand. “I’m so proud, Dwight,” he slurred, wiping away a mock tear of pride. Everyone else laughed.

“Fuck you all,” Dwight sang, releasing himself from Ross’s grip and making to leave, “Goodnight, dickheads. Love you.”

A chorus of affection rang out as he left the table, shaking his head and smiling. They were the closest thing he had to a family and he loved them all dearly, even if he did – occasionally – want to hit them.

When he returned to where Demelza and Caroline were standing, he was pleased to see that Caroline was finally drinking the water Demelza had been trying to feed her for the past 15 minutes. “This is her third glass of water,” Demelza told Dwight, “she said she was thirsty and hasn’t stopped drinking since you left.”

Dwight smiled slightly. “That’s good. Feeling any better, Caroline?”

She nodded slightly and continued to glug the cooling elixir of life until the glass was empty. “A bit. Can we go home now?” She pouted prettily at him and Dwight could not help but think how much she looked like Horace in that moment.

“Yes, we’re going. We’re just waiting for Rosina.”

“Rosina?” Was all Caroline could say. She refrained from commenting further.

“Yes?” Rosina asked as she appeared behind Dwight, wearing a pretty pink and white gingham coat.

He started when she spoke from behind him. “Nothing. I was just explaining to Caroline that we were waiting for you.” He then turned to Demelza and kissed her on the cheek as he enveloped her in a hug, “Bye, Dem! Give Julia a kiss from me.”

She held her friend tightly. “I will! Bye Dwight. Come over for dinner next Sunday and see her if you’re free, she misses you!”

“That’s perfect, I’m off next Sunday. I’d love to.”

While the two best friends said their goodbyes, the two blondes had engaged in a stare off, which Caroline lost when Demelza bid her goodbye and gave her a friendly hug.

Several minutes later, Dwight, Caroline and Rosina made their way through the dimly lit streets of Cornwall, the old brick townhouses appearing slightly menacing in the dark. Their breaths came out in icy puffs and Caroline shivered, wishing she had worn her wool coat instead. The stars above them glistened steadfastly, and a crescent moon cast some semblance of light as they made their way down a narrow side street to Rosina’s flat. Her flat was luckily one of the first few, though only accessible by a daunting number of steps. Caroline almost whimpered at the sight.

“Caroline, you stay here. I’ll just walk Rosina to her door and then we can go home.” Dwight quickly made his way up the steps, Rosina on his arm, and Caroline sat down heavily on a concrete step. So, he was really going to leave her here, drunk and out in the cold, while he shagged Rosina. She couldn’t believe it. She couldn’t believe she thought that he was a gentleman, a true gentleman, not like the actual gentleman she had met, who were all ridiculously arrogant and pompous. A hand on her shoulder nearly ceased the function of her heart. She gasped out loud.

“Ready to go?” Dwight asked. Feeling her jump, he frowned at her. “Caroline? Is something wrong?”

She pulled herself up by the carefully crafted railing. “Oh, no. It’s just… that was quick!”

He frowned at her, again. “I said I was just going to walk her to her door,” he laughed slightly, and offered Caroline his arm.

She took it and walked down the three steps. “Oh, yeah. Of course.”

It took them ten minutes to walk back to their apartment building, and they did so in silence, both lost in their own drunken thoughts.

Caroline made to fetch her keys from her small handbag, realising she had left it in the toilet of the pub. Her heart rate quickened. “Oh, shit! I left my bag at the pub!” She stared at Dwight in panic.

He pulled out his own keys and opened the entrance door. “Don’t worry, no one will steal it. You can get it tomorrow.” He held the door open for her and she stumbled inside, holding the wall until she reached the stairs, where she then hung onto the railing. They began their way up the staircase to their landing.

“No, but it’s got my keys in it!” she whined. She then clutched her chest, and swallowed, before beginning to pant. “Dwight, I think I’m going to be sick again. I hate being sick. I don’t want to be sick again,” she whimpered in a mumble, pushing her blonde curls out of her face.

“Ok, it’s alright. You can just stay at mine tonight,” he tried to say casually, “and we can go and get your bag tomorrow. It’s way too late and cold to go all the way back to the pub, and it’ll probably be shut now anyways. That is, if you don’t mind staying over.” He was glad he was two steps in front of her now because his cheeks burned furiously. He recognised the implications of his offer but at that particular moment, his only concern was that she would choke on her sick or something.

Caroline considered his offer for a minute. “No, I don’t mind. Thank you,” she said gently, before clearing her throat and raising an eyebrow at him. “Did you not want to go back to Rosina’s or something, though?” She managed to slur this remarkably innocently considering the bitter jealousy that stirred within her, which she convinced herself was merely the cheap vodka swirling around her unprepared stomach.

Dwight laughed a little and shook his head as he searched for his keys for the one to his flat, which he had still not colour coded. “No. Rosina is a lovely girl, but I think she’d be lovely for someone else,” he said thoughtfully, a gentle smile on his face. Caroline’s intoxicated state meant that she could not smother a grin at this news. As Dwight fell asleep that night, he convinced himself that he had imagined her reaction. The door to his flat finally opened, he entered, immediately turned on the light and unbuttoned his coat. He was quickly followed by Caroline, whose white heel caught on the door frame. She swore and stumbled clumsily, before falling right into Dwight’s arms.

[edierone]

Found a whole goddamn notebook in the dumpster this time

no idea whose handwriting this is or why they’d write it or who it’s supposed to be about but it’s fun isn’t it? happy ficlet fantasy friday!

Drifting up from a warm, dozy sleep, she feels the bed shifting under her, and the weight of an arm draped across her. She smiles, keeping her eyes closed, snuggling against him. He keeps moving, though, instead of settling in, and she mumbles, “What’re you doin?”

He’s propped himself up on one elbow behind her, the arm over her doing something complicated.

“Taking a bed selfie.”

“Huh?” She still hasn’t opened her eyes. What the fuck time is it, anyway?

“A bed selfie.” 

Like that explains it.

One eye, then the other, slides reluctantly open, and she can make out his iPhone a few inches away in the dimness. They’re both in the frame, grainy and low-res; her hair is spilled out over the pillow, her bare shoulder exposed, his muscled arm disappearing into the corner where his hand is holding the phone. His thumb touches the button.

“It’s gonna be a week till we see each other again — I need a souvenir for when I get lonely,” he says.

Aww, he’s gonna miss me!, she thinks, charmed. Better give him something good to keep him warm up here.

“Hi, sexy!” she purrs, rubbing her backside against him.

He laughs, low in his throat, then kisses her temple, caressing her face with his own. He leans over her, resting his phone hand on the bed next to them.

“Mmm … love you,” he murmurs against her ear.

“Love you too,” she sighs. She turns her head to get his lips properly on hers, but something catches her eye.

“Babe — you’ve got it in video mode,” she giggles.

“What? No I don’t — oh yeah — ha! Nearly made a bed selfie sex tape. Hold on a sec —”

He squints at the phone, holding it back out a bit, then touches the button again, stopping the recording.

She kisses him lightly, eyes slipping shut again, and says “Send that to me tomorrow, will you? I might get lonely too.”

She knows he’s smiling in the dark, she can hear it when he says, “I’ll send it to you right now.”

“Mkay,” she sighs, feeling the heaviness of sleep creeping up again. She’s not sure how many minutes have gone by when she hears him again, all the cozy flirtiness gone from his voice.

“Uhhh … hm. That’s not — how did I  — shit.”

“What is it?” she manages, vaguely alarmed by the flat worry she hears. Before he can answer, there’s a distinctive ping from her own phone on the bedside table.

She’s awake now. “Did you schedule a tweet for this time of night?”

He looks at her, confused. He has no idea what she’s talking about. She sits up, turns on the lamp and reaches for her phone, and sees a notification illuminating the screen.

And there it is, the reason for that sound, the custom tone she’s had put on her phone solely for his posts that tag her on social media sites: He’s somehow managed to tweet something, minutes ago, from his public account, and mention her.

“Bed selfie - miss you already,” it says, and then the video.

“Oh no …”

Her heart is triphammering, she feels a little sick. He looks at her, face full of dread.

Wordlessly, she holds it up for him to see. He presses the “play” icon, and they watch, heads together.

The camera is unsteady, and the lighting is isn’t great — but the sound is clear, and it’s absolutely, definitely her, and him. Together, in bed, obviously intimate and comfortable … and sexual as all hell. Twenty-four seconds. Time stamp, 3:23 a.m. today.

“Ffffffffuuuuuuuuck,” he groans.

“Oh shit,” she breathes.

“How do I get it back? Can I delete that? Oh goddammit —“

“Christ — how did you even DO that? Why do you even have the app on your own fucking phone?”

“I was — I don’t know! I sent it and then I went to check my email and then I looked back — you know I don’t know how this shit works! I thought I was messaging it to you — it’s fucking three thirty in the morning, I can’t —”

“Give me that!” She takes his phone, deletes the tweet, but knows that’s not all there is to it. She shoves it back into his hand. “Call whatsherface, Kylie or whatever her name is, the girl that does your social shit — call her right now. Or text her — both! Get hold of her right now!”

He’s frantically trying to do just that, while she opens her own Twitter app and deletes the tweet from her feed. It’s only been sixteen minutes since it was posted, and it’s the middle of the night, maybe nobody saw it?  

Yeah, no.

It’s 3:45 a.m. in Vancouver, but it’s midday in Europe, and early risers are already up in New York. Fuck.

She watches, fascinated, as the number of notifications on her page begins to climb. Against her better judgment, she takes a look at what’s coming in — not sixty seconds after the time stamp, there’s a lot of “holy shit” and “OMFG” and “this is real! I live!” and so on.  She opens her stealth tumblr account — same fucking story. There are screen caps already! What the fuck is wrong with people? It reminds her of one of those virus-outbreak movies, where one sick person infects ten more and they infect twenty more each and yada yada the breakdown of civilization. This won’t end civilization, but it sure as hell might fuck shit up for the two of them (including, probably, the final nail in the coffin of that other thing she’s had going on the last few months).

And then, shortly after they’d deleted the goddamn tweet, now five minutes in the past, a flood of “wait, what happened?” “WTFF what is going on” and “THE LINK WON’T WORK THE TWEET IS GOOOONE!”

Meanwhile, he’s located Katey or Kimmy or whomever, who’s now yelling at him from someplace with loud voices and music. She’s only half-listening to their conversation, but the gist of it seems to be that there’s nothing they can do now but damage control — they deleted it from their accounts, sure, but any number of people have seen it, re-tweeted it, screen-capped it — and downloaded and saved the video for re-posting.

Annnnnd here’s one on her tumblr dash: “i am the goddess of true love! I bring you deleted video, resurrected! Look upon my works and rejoice!”

The video is in it. Fuck. She touches the play icon, hears “It’s gonna be a week till we see each other again” — double fuck.  It’s the real thing. It works. “Mmmm, love you …”

He finally hangs up on Kristie/Kelly/Kyra.

“ …You’ve got it in video mode” [giggle]

She hits pause, afraid to look at him right now. They’ve been so, SO careful, and protected themselves so well — everything ambiguous, smokescreens deployed, deniability maintained … well, mostly. Nothing they can’t handle. But this here — this is the smoking gun. She wants to shout at him, to ask him what the fuck he was thinking, how could he be so careless, how could he expose them like this, why didn’t he just wait till tomorrow to send it to her like she asked? Put on his goddamn reading glasses, for fuck’s sake?

But she knows he already feels awful, so she just squeezes her eyes shut and tries to breathe calm into her body. She doesn’t want to have a screaming fight right before she flies to another continent. This isn’t the old days — she’s fucking calm and fucking mature and they will deal with this like fucking grownups.

He sits on the bed, folded up with his head on his knees. An inarticulate groan comes from his general direction. “They’re gonna dissect this like the fucking Zapruder film,” he laments, and she barks startled laughter.

He looks up at last, surprised that she’s not trying to strangle him.

“How bad is it?” He gestures toward her phone.

Cringing slightly, she selects a representative post from tumblr: It’s the video, reblogged from the alleged “goddess of true love,” and right underneath it, a gif of Elmo in front of flames. The post has 290 notes already. The tags are a jubilant, nonsensical volcano of words and phrases she only partly understands — fucc me uppp, slay my entire ass, asdfjkl;lskj, platonic adult friends, i love dying and death and being dead, MURDER ME, why are they like this NEVER STOP, fight me, they’re gonna kill me, im spiraling, it’s a dumpster fire and i’m in it.

“Whyyyyy …” he moans, dropping his head into his hands.

“Most of America is still asleep, too. Just wait. It’s going to be so much worse.”

More inarticulate sounds of misery from him, then: “You know, if somebody assassinated the fucking President, the news wouldn’t spread this fast,” he mumbles. It’s only a slight exaggeration.

She flops dramatically onto her back, addresses the ceiling: “So. What do we do now? Deny and obfuscate?”

He laughs, loud and happy, for the first time since the phrase “bed selfie” came into their lives. “Fuck yeah!”

He stretches out and rolls over onto her prone body, covering her like a blanket, starts kissing his way down her neck. She shoves at him — not very convincingly — and grumbles “What’re you doing? Shouldn’t we start doing damage control?”

“Now??? Nahhh … it’s already out there.” He kisses her deeply, then murmurs into her ear, “We’re gonna do the time — might as well do the crime.” Reasonable, he’s always so reasonable …

“Hard to argue with that,” she says, shivering a little, running her hands over his broad back. Her heart speeds up and heat pools at her center, her physical responses to his touch as reliable as ever, yet still somehow surprising even after all these years. “Guess we’re pretty well fucked —”

“Oh, yeah,” he says against the hollow of her throat, then raises his head to look her in the eye — his expression the same one that’s gotten them into this kind of trouble a thousand times in the last 25 years, and will a thousand times more. “We’re definitely gonna be that.”

--------------------------------

@justholdinghandsok @becksndot5 @whatfallsaway @iva69s @guitargirl48 @emceecapitalc  @inkcollectorus @lostlastsforever756

[sharedheadspace]

(host reblogged a ‘gay ask meme’ to their personal + we were asked a few questions from it)

2. whats your “type”

jasper: generally, ‘farmers market hot’ masculine people who could probably kick my ass in a fight. theres plenty of exceptions, but thats the easiest way to tell, say, which character in a movie ill be automatically drawn to. when it comes to actually being interested in and dating someone, i like people i can rely on to tell me when im being an ass, but also help me through mood swings and bad brain days. honesty is the key trait

maura: the type of people where you look at them and just feel warmth and happiness radiating from them. maybe they don’t feel it themselves, in that moment, but they have a sort of, an aura of peace, i suppose

elliott: kindness, and the phrase “quiet strength”, come to mind

maur: knives, good hair, and a nice ass

6. describe your experience having sex for the first time (were you nervous? or was it easy peasy?)

jasper: really it depends on which life we’re talking about. like in fallout, i was definitely nervous, and we had to work around my scars being a major trigger for me, but overall it wasnt a terrible experience. saints row, on the other hand... ehh, theres a number of reasons i dont talk much about my sex life outside of my relationship with tsurin. my gray warden life was much the same, and im fairly certain in my other dragon age lives i was either drunk or dissociated anyways, so i wasnt even entirely present then

maura: a little nervous, but mostly excited and eager. i can remember that much

elliott: i do not, remember really, but. i would imagine it was uncomfortable, probably. lackluster. not that i, ever had much interest in sex, to begin with

8. opinion on nap dates?

elliott: the ideal

maur: boring as hell if im not already tired. i wanna do shit

10. dog gay or cat gay?

jasper, maura, and maur are dog people

elliott and kite vote cat

clara has no strong feelings one way or the other. she likes turtles though

14. what is a piece of advice you would give to your younger self

jasper: sex is only as important and necessary as you want it to be

maura: try to communicate more. make sure everyone is always on the same page, not just during sex

maur: just dont fuckin go to the imperial city. there aint nothin good there

clara: youre hot. use it

kite: you do not have to settle just because you believe you won’t find anything better. you are worth more. your family is

16. who is an ex you regret?

jasper: i dont know if johnny counts. technically we werent together, it was just. a one-off thing, yknow? and maybe if we’d both been in better headspaces at the time it couldve been more than sex, but we werent, so it wasnt, and it was more or less the end of whatever friendship we had. we just drifted apart after that until he died

maur: i still daydream of murderin tanger. feels good to crack his jaw in my head

clara: my first partner was actually a boy, and far too immature to be dating, much less to accept that his girlfriend of maybe a year was turning out to be a lesbian. he kept harassing me after we broke up until i finally decked him with a chair on the presidium. got in trouble with c-sec for starting a fight; dad wasnt happy until i explained it. watched the video jack recorded of it and gave me advice on how to more efficiently beat the jerks ass if he came back for a second round

18. who is one person you would “go straight” for

clara: who wouldnt date liam kosta? the mans a walking ray of sunshine

22. have you ever unknowingly asked out a straight person?

jasper: chances are yes

maura: bann alfstanna was very tragically heterosexual

clara: oh yes. several. i seem to attract them in a friend way, which makes it excessively difficult to be properly gay

kite: i had the misfortune of marrying one

24. have you ever been heartbroken?

jasper: probably. definitely. hard to think of examples that dont revolve around someone dying, but i dont doubt they happened

maura: oh yes, absolutely. i was with two people for several years, thought we were going to be together more or less forever, only to find out they both considered it a temporary arrangement and they got engaged behind my back. it was not a pretty breakup, i’m sure you can guess

elliott: yes. although, in their defense, i did literally die. i was, not supposed to re-enter their lives

maur: yeah. not always over a relationship, or at least the romantic-y kind, but yeah

clara: most likely. i have few memories but i doubt everything was sunshine and smiles all the time

kite: several times

[dominickkwad645-blog]

Another variant is situation paintball, where players attempt to recreate historical, or fictional settings; the largest being Oklahoma D-Day's World War II re-enactment. Eliminated players are expected to leave the field of play; eliminations could also earn the opposing group points.

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Players will then head to their various bases and the overall game will start in 10.15-10.30 and finish about 15.30-16.00hrs based on the weather and the daylight. ALL players will be given a playing T-t-shirt to identify their team. After finishing the client” games, most players either went to their tents for a chill or sat in the safe area watching videos.

We can split the players into two groupings and request that a dozen players become marshals for two games. No, the primary event can be on the Sunday BUT because of the distance players have to travel it had been decided four years back to make it into a weekend of paintball. All players who have booked into staargate by 1 July will become entered into a draw for a free entry to the Braveheart Scenario game on Sunday 16 July.

All players who've booked into staargate by 1 June will end up being entered into a pull for a free of charge entry to the Saving Ryan's Privates scenario video game about Sunday 25 June. At the start of the day, each player is given a uniquely numbered armband in their teams colour. Leave the game field maintaining your arm raised to point to additional players that you will be out of the game.

Please help us to provide top quality airsoft games by being an honest player. Nothing at all ruins an airsoft game faster than players not really acquiring hits. Stalk the various other group and engage them in a fire-fight, eliminate their key players with a burst of paintballs, then charge forwards and blow the oppositions chopper.

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Now this might not seem like such a big issue in a squad-type environment with up close engagements being the norm where simply sending enough shots toward your focus on fast enough may be the major determining element, but this is simply not the case once a player buys an airsoft sniper rifle and begins to take up long-range firing positions. Dutch players visited these counties for the playing experience as the game is definitely banned in Netherlands. Airsoft grenades are used extensively in armed service exercises and games to simulate fight field environments.

This Saturday saw myself perform my first ever game titles of PA in the type of Scavenge Skirmish Survive. Sporting teams, church organizations and entire family members play Paintball. Paintball can be an exciting game played by people from all professions and lifestyles.

Paintball Skirmish is the first company to determine a performing field in Western Australia. Jeffry Evans, owner of Airsoft Guns Co, is here now to assist you understand the sport, and to offer you great insight into the way the equipment functions and the fun of the sport. It's an experience of the majority of the mother or father how have organized Gold Coast Skirmish that point flies when their kid's plays this video games with their friends within their party.

This game include various formats, yet all games keep game score for all tags or last person or team that is still playing. You can learn more about the Airsoft Sniper Rifles and shop related equipment at one of the top air gentle gun merchants in the country where all Our Guns are Tested, Chronographed, Guaranteed! There are numerous of different types of airsoft guns that you have to pick from, but no collection is truly complete without among the airsoft sniper rifles that are available.

Depending on the scenario being played the re-spawn rules may vary, generally we play among the following which should be followed by most players: These tips are to try and ensure everyone has a safe and enjoyable day plus they apply to everyone who plays - by going to Skirmish Airsoft you are agreeing to comply to these rules. Ok people, we've recieved a lot of questions about our airsoft regulations (mainly about people bringing their own guns to the site, and what the suitable FPS is), so here they are!

Medic is a type of airsoft game that provides players who have been hit the chance to get back in to the action after they have already been "healed" by a new player designated as the physician. Since airsoft pellets do not paint the target, players must depend on an honor-based program where the one who is shot will say paintball guns that he / she provides been shot and then move from the battlefield back again to the safe zone.

[brieflyprofoundsandwich]

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