#im gonna be okay

[luffysprincess]

I’m starting to have some not so pleasant thoughts so I think it’s time to distract myself with fanfic and hopefully fall asleep. Goodnight lovelies ᰔ

[aidanchaser]

listen weve all been virgins writing a sex scene but im writing about them fucking holding hands and i had to stop and ask myself how that works and how people hold hands and cauhgt myself looking at pictures of hand holding for reference like yall

[algrenion]

notoriously awful at remaining up to speed on current events and trends

worse still at keeping in touch with my friends and my loved ones

had to ask my partner if it was me who cleaned the dishes or him

dissociation is so exhausting, dude… it just gets worse as you get older and take on more responsibility

i kind of hate thinking about the people i care about… they must think that i don’t give a fuck about them, but i do… im just in a constant state of confusion

i don’t know what to say to people directly, other than saying sorry and slinking away

always in apology to others and confusion to myself

that’s not a good friend to have, is it?

the reality is i’m living moment to moment, confused, a little scared, a bit excited

you’ll see me online but not quite present… if there’s one constant here, it’s that im sorry…

im sorry

im sorry all the time

i wish I could be better to my friends

[butterphii]

Hello lovelies! I have some unfortunate news for you guys, and it's that I'm gonna take a break from writing. I've been really busy lately and writing everyday has been taking a lot out of me. I might post some reblogs, but maybe not. I'll try and get my last part of the Jake fic out as soon as possible, but please don't expect much. I'm really unmotivated, and will still be talking to my moots, just won't be posting for a few days. I'm so sorry. I'll try to get something out.

[bluestjayy]

You know what's so fun. My mother outright refusing to take me to the supermarket when I have run out of food in the house.

I get it. It's annoying. But I don't drive and we're so fucking rural it's not even a joke.

But our agreement is that I don't pay much towards rent and bills on account of being unemployed still. But I do buy my own food. So when I noticed my food running low this morning I told her and her words were 'buses run every thirty minutes'.

This may not seem like such a big deal to many but ma'am, again I don't drive because I have lived the past half decade in a city centre where everything was in walking distance or if not then a TRAM that was so tightly scheduled I've never really known one be late. It never took me more than 20 minutes to get to a destination.

Here? Buses run every 30 minutes *in theory* (I'm typing this from a bus stand and the bus is already ten minutes late), it's zero degrees celcius outside, I haven't been on a bus alone since I moved back, and only on one ONCE in the company of my mother, I still am not certain how the ticketing works and I'm so anxious about it. It's gonna take thirty minutes *on the bus* to get to the supermarket and then however long to walk around it and I'll have to limit what I buy to carry back because I have spinal damage and- yeah it just sucks and I'm mad and upset but I can't argue with her so.

I'm being a big brave boy and getting on a bus alone for the first time in half a decade wish me luck???

[sendpseuds]

WIP Wednesday [sorta]

So, I'm going to get a little... personal.

[Something I rarely do.]

I've been— uh— I've been going through it... a little bit...

I'm not going to get into the nitty-gritty of it all but, after several extremely difficult months of grappling with my mental health, medical issues, and severe burnout, I'm finally in a position to really put myself first.

To make sure I'm gonna be okay.

So, I guess, this WIP Wednesday is just—

Me?

*deep breaths*

One of the reasons I wanted to make this post [and my therapist would tell me not to think about this at all but, I am who I am so] is that I know that I haven't been the most active member of this community— especially not recently.

I rarely do any tagged challenges, I have an inbox full of asks*, I almost never do ask-games [mostly because I'm scared I just won't answer the questions], I've disappeared from conversations...

For fucks sake, I have completely stopped responding to comments on AO3...

And it's horrible because every single comment, ask, reblog, kudos, like, message— it means the fucking world to me, but I've just been—

I have been incapable of participating the way I want to.

And I really want to.

I won't make you [or myself] any promises, but—

But I'm really hopeful.

I love this community.

I love writing these stories.

I love sharing these stories with you.

I guess what I'm saying is — if you've tagged me in a challenge that I didn't participate in. If you've sent an ask that I haven't answered [*actually... if it was more than, like, 3 weeks ago you might want to ask it again... I got really overwhelmed and just deleted them all...] If you've commented on a post or fic that I haven't responded to — I cannot possibly express how much I appreciate it.

The support I have received from this community is a huge part of why I was able to finally ask for what I needed in order to take care of myself.

So, while I have no idea if I will ever reply to another comment or reblog another ask-game, I know I'm going to keep writing, and I know I will continue to feel the incredible support of this weird wonderful community.

Thank you.

Thank you for giving me the space to be a work in progress.

[adormida]

things are finally getting better, there's no problem with being myself

[beatheprincess]

Guys I feel like I kinda relapsed today (cw) pretty much hid myself away (I hate the public) and dont feel pretty "enough" :/ it's so stoopid cus its back n forth , I was on a good streak, loved my body, loved my appearance verses feburary I hated looking at myself entirely, I even stopped taking selfies on snapchat to help w my recovery, and it helped so much ! And it helped me stop body checking too but now I finally reached my goal and got bio oil 🥺🙌🏽 v happy (and saved money too!) Hehe <3 hopefully the next 3months my skin can get better n I can feel more beautiful ♡ with healthy skin ^.^

Thanks for listening 🎉

[mudmushrooms]

realizing I'm eating more again because I'm doing better. realizing I'm spending more time alone and being happy about it because I'm doing better. realizing i can finally rewatch certain movies, shows, songs, and other medias because im doing better

[mispronouncing-michaelangelo]

going home

[flowerboy-fiorello]

if this audition goes well i get to play in opera pit orchestras in prague 👀

[tiredfoxtf]

On today's inner psychoanalysis table we have

Me coming to conclusion that since I was young I felt guilt knowing that my mom worked her three jobs including at night resulting in her fucking up her sleep because she wanted to make my life better.

And in fact it did not get better after I failed to get into Uni or even forsaken college after 4 years of trying and just gave up on it. And it also did not help that I am an able bodied 21 year old adult without a job living of my mother's money because my ass is too anxious and depressed to find and work a job. (My ass cannot even take proper care of one self, what to say about working a job)

But it's fine. It's okay. I just need this support, because I am unable to sustain myself qnd my mom takes care of me. There's nothing bad in asking for help. There's no use in self-depreciation and beating myself over it. It's fine to not be okay and needing help.

[rosebud2829]

i apprecieate my friends so much. i love them and id do anything to keep them safe and happy. they do so much for me i adore them. two of them wanna take me out to eat to help heal from a breakup. my best friend was willing to hold my stuff and talked me out of a attempt on my life, not even trying to pull me down or get near but just talking me through it and being logical. a dude that i know was about to leave and just let me hug him and cry into his jacket. a classmates older brother that i see sometimes talked me into staying alive and knew how it was to feel that way and empathized with me. my friend from choir let me give him a hug and vent later on because i just really needed to. i got a hug from my friends grandma and it made it so much better. I talked to a online friend in the uk and he kept me comfortable and not doing stupid shit

I fucking love these people. they keep me sane.they keep me alive. and id take a fucking bullet for them.

[apocripha-0]

im feeling empty but im bringing sexy back when im done with this almost summer phase

[flame-shadow]

hey did you know??? that if you stop stretching and maintaining mobility in your body then it goes away?? things get tight and you can't move the way that you used to??? and when you decide to try getting a stretch routine going that the first week fucking sucks because you keep going 'damn i used to be able to do this no problem' and then you have to switch gears and be kind to yourself and just focus on getting better from here instead of berating yourself for dropping the good habits in the first place??? and your body never stops aging so you gotta keep taking care of it and sometimes you gotta take care of it extra in certain areas because of things that happened when you were younger and it's boring and sometimes hurts but it's so necessary???

i am yelling this at myself right now i am going through An Experience (trying to get into a routine of body maintenance again for my physical and mental health)