#im hoping this gets down to the fundamentals a bit more and is more flexible

[mischiefsystem]

Fundamental truths:

1. Feelings are not facts.

Just because you feel something does not make it true. Just because someone else feels something does not make it true.

2. It is okay to be upset.

Just because someone upset you does not mean they did something wrong. Just because you upset someone else does not mean you did something wrong. Youre also not doing anything wrong by feeling mad or sad. There are no such thing as mean feelings, only mean actions.

3. Feelings happen for a reason.

Do not ignore them. While you shouldnt take them at face value its important to figure out where theh are coming from. And if you conclude its because "im just crazy", someone may be gas lighting you. Even if a feeling is caused by mental illness youre never 'just crazy'.

4. No one is entitled to control other people.

It doesnt matter if they say its for your own good. If someone is trying to force you to do something against your will, thats bad. Its ok to have suggestions, to present information, and to express its what you want someone to do, but it needs tk be clear its ok to say no, and to actually be safe to say no to, and not lash out using anger or anxiety or love as a weapon.

5. Actions are a choice.

It doesnt matter how sad or mad or anxious or in love someone is. What they choose to do with that is a choice. There is no such thing as "I had to hurt you, you made me angry" or "I had to control you to do what I think is best for you, i love you so much". These are lies. They wanted to so they did. Its always a choice. You have a choice, other people have a choice. Do not accept people blaming their decisions on their emotions or on other peoples actions. People need to take responsibility for their own choices.

[ozzy-bozzy]

Hey.. can I request something again? if you’re not too busy? I’m hoping I can request headcanons for the sk8 characters (Reki, Langa, Miya, Cherry Joe) about asking for them to use preferred pronouns I go by he/they (you can keep it gender neutral if it’s more comfortable) I need a little comfort because my family are not accepting I hope this some makes sense 😅

Hello my love! I hope you enjoy this, I'm a lil tired rn so im sorry if it's not the best :,) ((also why it might seem kinda short, there's a handful of characters and I'm sleeby))

If you ask Reki to refer to you by different pronouns he might take a second to process what you’re asking him, but once his brain stops lagging he’ll jump on it

He could see how uncomfortable you got when he just sat there staring at you but assured you he was just slow

He would constantly make an effort to not only correct himself but also others around you

And if you just tell him that you want to test out new pronouns, he might trip up a few times but he’s learning!

Will be very flexible with whatever you’re feeling, just have to tell him!

He just wants you to be comfortable and happy

And will do anything he can to make that happen

Please let him know what makes you more comfortable because he’s more than happy to provide for you

With Langa it’s like a switch flips in his mind

He hardly ever mixes up your pronouns and just automatically goes with whatever you asked him to call you

He gets so used to it when someone refers to you by your old pronouns he gets confused for a second

Langa’s become so opening and comforting for whatever you’re feeling he’s the first person you come to to open up about different thoughts you may be having

IT could be the first time Langa is faced with these different concepts, but he thinks they’re pretty fundamental and not hard to understand at all

If you tell him about people being rude and ignoring your feelings he doesn’t really get mad, he just gets so confused

People are confusing and that hurts him

He doesn’t understand how people could so blatantly ignore how you’re feeling

Will just rant to you and it’s the exact way you’re feeling so you just aggressively agree with each other and it usually ends with you two in a pile of giggles

Miya will act like he doesn’t really see it as a big deal

Honestly, his dismissive nature is almost comforting because it’s a weight lifted off of you and he’s so unbothered there’s no reason to be worried about how he feels

Will totally defend your honor and stand up for you when other people are disrespecting you and your choices

Always is up to hang out when you need to get away from your house

He might act like nothing bothers him but he does get genuinely upset seeing you upset

Is way better at comforting you than you thought he would be

If you ever get nervous about correcting or telling someone about your preferred pronouns you don’t even have to tell him he’s already prepping to tell them himself

Catboy is here to defend you and your feelings against even the most ignorant of people

When you tell Cherry you would like to go by different pronouns, he’s more than happy to oblige

Will encourage you to not care about what other people say about you, says something like how “they don’t matter enough for you to let it hurt you”

He will absolutely watch out for you and also teach you to hold your head up high and proud

Cherry would be so proud of you, even for just telling him something like that about you

He knows talking about that sort of thing can sometimes be hard for people, and is more than happy to show how proud he is of you

Will help you sneak out to have dinner with him and the others or to take you to skate with them just to get out of the house

If you ever get nervous about telling your family something he will coach you through everything, your approach, composure, and even your tone of voice

He’s there to help and support you in any way you may need

Joe might make some jokes after you ask him to refer to you in your preferred pronouns, but just to lighten the mood a bit

He definitely doesn’t like to see you upset or anxious so he’s gonna do what he can to make it all better and make you smile and comfortable

Joe is a safe space, so being with him will just make you feel instantly safe and protected

He’ll offer to take you out to get some food or boba or something to help get your mind on something else

Joe gives the greatest hugs and you can’t convince me otherwise

He’ll give you a hug for as long as you want if you ask him to

If you come into his restaurant while you’re looking down or seeking some comfort he’ll whip up some food for you and will let you rant to him about whatever you want while he preps different orders

Definitely lets you stay after hours and talk with him

[doc-resilient]

What helped to you choose internal med? Cause im between internal and peds atm, obvs it’ll change as i get through m3, but the gauging the scope of the practices is hard. I like peds for how broad the practice is, despite the narrow age range, But internal med, ideally i’d want to be a hospitalist, it has a lot of different paths to follow but idk if i want to be a “care coordinator” you know? In terms of happiness/longevity, are you pleased with where youre at?

Ooo, first off. Hey community, please chime in! How did #MedBlr decide what they were gonna #Med in?

HI FRIEND! Love the question! I am probably the worst person to ask but isn’t the worst person to ask also kind of the best person to ask? (That made sense in my head.)

But really, thank you so much for asking because this is a perfect opportunity for reflection as I prepare for the future.

So let’s break it down.

((record scratch))

About Me (AKA Physician, Know Thyself)

Step 1 (sorry, not that Step 1): what is important to you? When I say “know thyself,” this profession is full of introspection and discovering things about yourself and medicine, so of course it will change and evolve. It still helps however to sit down and pick a few important interests /dealbreakers about yourself.

If you’re into this, do it with me now! Here’s an example list about myself so you get where I am coming from when I made my choice.

I am passionate about / it is important to me that I am this type of physician:

- Public Health / Policy - Big Picture- Hands On- People And Their Stories- Interdisciplinary- Broad Knowledge / Capable in Many Situations- Passions Outside Medicine

Choosing Internal Medicine (AKA The Match Forcing Me to Say Goodbye to My Other Love, Family Med)

Some people meet their specialty and just know. Choosing my specialty involved using what was important to narrow it down. The interesting thing about The List is that you and I can have the same list but come to a different decision. Your experiences and how these things translate to you will vary.

Going through clinical years I was like, yo! I like it all - yes, even surgery. The name of the game became ruling out. I ruled out surgery because to be a surgeon, I personally would’ve wanted that to be a calling level interest. As for pediatrics, honestly I feel like I didn’t have the strongest exposure so that might have played a factor but I essentially wasn’t ready to give up treating adults though I truly did like (and felt mentally and socially capable of) treating kids. (In retrospect, I do think I would have really enjoyed pediatrics so totally keep exploring it, friend!)

I eventually narrowed it down to Internal Medicine or Family Medicine and was willing to rank by program and let the Match decide. To me, IM or FM was going to give me that big picture and broad knowledge that I craved. I felt it would allow me to have other passions and veer off the beaten path to less traditional physician roles, too. I wasn’t tied to needing to specialize [IM subspecialties] but knew I’d consider it if I matched IM. That’s what ended up happening and I said a bittersweet goodbye to bebes and preggos.

Exploring Hospital Medicine (AKA Where I Am Now AKA Love is a Battlefield)

Why hospitalist? Going through internal medicine residency, I did not end up finding my One True Specialty. There were aspects of all of them that I liked but not one that I immediately wanted to do the rest of my life. Turns out I didn’t change much in terms of The List/ What Was Important To Me, either. I do not mind outpatient primary care and can see still myself choosing it and having a patient panel. However, I chose hospital medicine. I am still a newbie to it (despite growing up around it in my residency) and am still job hunting/learning more about the pros and cons. From what I understood, I felt hospital medicine would allow me a broad range of experiences and interactions, particularly acuity. It would allow me to build on my residency training and keep those skills sharp while allowing me a flexible schedule to pursue further interests (medicine and non-medicine.)

You mention the term “care coordinator.” You are absolutely right, internal medicine (and our family medicine brethren) doctors can be all those super fun terms - gatekeepers, care coordinators, order monkeys, assistant to the assistant managers, etc. Like all of our medical community, we face all the frustrations and broken pieces. It’s just I feel like hospital medicine and primary care faces it head-on. We are one of the frontlines of everything the system holds - politics, bureaucracy, overburdened, etc. If our other counterparts have shelters (”shift work”, “Let the primary handle”, etc.), I feel like we have less of it. It is so easy and even a protective mechanism to get jaded.

Instead of this being a con, this is actually a reason I want to go into it. Outside of medicine, I actually *am* interested in seeing how this system is broken and brainstorming solutions to ease it. I am interested in understanding the politics (some can’t stomach meetings, I can). I also feel like I am good at self-reflection and keeping an eye on getting jaded (hopefully, if not I have friends and family for that.) So yeah, I’m trying to hack it from the inside, essentially.

That being said, I am still interested in fellowships in the future (Infectious Disease? Endocrine? Something Else?) and I think hospitalist will be a good transition as I build a strong foundation prior to applying to fellowship.

Okay, Talky McTalkerson, So Are You Sustainably Happy?

To me, my happiness/longevity (which I’m calling Sustainably Happy) is having  freedom. By freedom, I mean the freedom to mold my career, the freedom to grow and learn as a physician, the freedom to change my life completely if I want/need to, and the freedom to be a multifaceted human of which a physician is a fundamental part but just a part. I believe, where I am now, a state school undergraduate grad, an American IMG, t-minus 5+ months left of my internal medicine residency at an unopposed community hospital, trying to be a better physician and person, currently looking for hospitalist jobs and also soul searching of what the future should look like… I believe in longevity, and I think I’m happy enough (it’s a mindset and active practice y’all), and can only see myself getting happier.

Thank you to all who read this. I hope it was at least a little bit helpful.

Cheers,

Doc Resilient