#im scared and anxious

[curi0us-gh0st]

I have so many ideas lately, but I can't write -or continue- any

[probablytame]

don't play around with feral dogboys. don't chain one up to the bedpost and tease it from afar, making it sit on a vibrator while you touch yourself. good lord do not make the most pretty little whimpers and noises as you do it. sooner or later that thing is going to burst out from its chains and tackle you to the ground as it sinks its teeth into your neck. snarling as it tears open your legs and rams its knot into your hole. and god forbid it's strap knot, because the only thing that's gonna stop it is exhaustion. that thing only sees you as a toy, and it's going to fuck you until you break

[beastlyidiocy]

my sweet old man who is genuinely too kind for the world he lives in :(

[dinahscrossbow]

Taissa and Van's reaction to the fact that Coach Ben knew about them and could've outed them at any time (but didn't).

Isn't it crazy that you can be in a relatively comfortable position where every single person knows about your sexuality and relationship (and is absolutely cool with it), but the simple reminder that the world in general isn't like that, can immediately throw you off?

They are so scared here! The danger they're faced with is in the past (and nothing happened) and they are still SO SCARED. My babies!! Van looking around, Tai searching Van's eyes once she processed the information... so freaking good!

Somebody knew the whole time and that was the thing they were most afraid of.

Openly and proudly declaring herself "a handy lesbian" one moment, terrified that they were perceived as such "in the real world" the next.

Being queer is such a freaking roller-coaster

Yellowjackets - S03 E04

[glowcowboy]

the end of the year always makes me feel so reflective. this year i want to meet myself with open arms. sit with them by the fireplace and say i’m sorry. find new ways to be honest with them. learn how to stop leaving them behind. deep breath now. more than anything i want to face this new year with the ability to see myself more clearly

[mr-payjay]

there are a Million ways to be a system. don't limit yourself or Restrict your idea of them too harshly. speak to multiple systems if you want better references for depicting them (or just to know how they work) because every system is different and unique

[asexualbookbird]

Hey! Hi! I need dental work, a filling repair between two teeth, so I'm opening up simple doodle commissions! Send me a photo of your pet, and I'll turn them into a doodle! I'm not picky about the animal, all critters welcome.

Don't have a pet? No problem! Send me a photo, even an idea, and we can work things out. Your critter doesn't even have to exist.

Whole procedure will be 606$, my goal is 120$ to cover the months phone bill, and I've put down a 25$ deposit for the appointment in September.

I only have cashapp at this time ( $ravencrantz )

I've temporarily opened up tumblr dms, so message me if you're interested! If you want more pet (okay. cat.) doodle examples, check out this tag! For my art in general check out this tag and there's also some things on my other blog @ravencrantz

[chandralia]

IM GONNA BE SICK SHDKDHSSJSH Hori’s really saving him for last,, we’ve got panels of every single character guiding Deku, cheering him on, pushing him through… except Bakugo?

we’re about to get something so incredible

[ask2pame]

// also my god i've been like GENUINELY so fucking scared of posting anything hetalia anywhere but here for years but ppl have been like... normal? about it lately so i might post it more

[tothebestofmyabilities]

Jounouchi's comprehensive guide to seducing a goth twink step #173: Have you tried just flexing your bicep directly in his face yet??

[skitskatdacat63]

One makes him up, so the other can break him down.

This is a little terrifying but hello!! Posted my first fic on ao3!! I would've saved the illustrations for the fic's eyes only, but I'm too happy with them haha. Hope you'll still go on to read regardless!!

As always, my thoughts and progress, since I can't help myself:

I'm soooooo proud of these. I never ever really do dramatic lighting, so I'm really surprised that I pulled it off.

It's surreal actually posting this because for a while, I've thought about how if I ever post a fic, I'll have to make illustrations too because I can't do anything not full force. Look at me now! I'm shocked. Also didn't think I'd finish it tonight, but here it sits before you nevertheless(though as always, I'm writing this past my bedtime before class, time efficient as always.) So with that being said, here are some notes, though if I had known I'd be writing this so soon, I would've prepared more lol.

First of all, I hope it's clear both of these are Mark's perception. Gah, the fact that his face is the only one you can see clearly. The first is obviously him unwillingly fantasizing about what exactly went down last night.

Aghhhhh the difference in colors and settings of the two drawings is so important to me. The warmth and intimacy of the bed behind curtains in the first one, and the coldness and openess of the second. It's so clear Mark feels like he's been distanced, like he's been ousted. It's like he's been thrown outside on a cold winter's day, no longer able to feel the heat from the comfortable warm stove inside.

Mark was probably assigned to Seb bcs he has a much greater appreciation for the Spanish etiquette, which Seb has very little interest in. He'll abide by it when he absolutely has to. But he's just a very non-typical Emperor. People find it charming so it's not a public death sentence for him, but it is an issue. Thus, Mark is there to keep him in line. Though important to note that when Fernando, who has an equal if not greater respect for the showmanship of etiquette, realizes Mark is interested in that as well, they start warming up to each other.

The inherent disrespect of Fernando just. Throwing Seb's clothing onto the floor. Meanwhile he probably took like, 20 minutes folding his up(that's what Seb was gonna tell Mark at the end of the fic.) Borderline ripping off Seb's clothes only to edge him. Its not even like the ripping off the clothes is because of passion or anything, he's deliberately being an asshole. Don't worry Nandl, Seb's turned on by it!

So sorry to marknando fans if their dynamic feels like a complete 180 haha. Its not like I'm like, they actually hate each other!! It's just their relationship under completely different circumstances. They're like two dogs in a dog fight, they don't have any real reason to hate each other, but they're put against each other regardless. They don't understand their hatred, just know that they have it and that they're supposed to have it. The inherent hatred the mistress has for the spouse, and vice versa. If they actually were able to talk without barriers, they'd realize they actually get along pretty well. They kinda just hate each other because of their respective relationships to Seb. And then there's Seb who's mostly completely oblivious to his effect, though of course plays with it a bit.

Seb's marriage completely recontextualizes their relationship in Mark's eyes. Though there's something incredibly sado-masochistic about the way he can't blame Seb for it at all. He's a loyal dog after all. But when it was just them, he was obviously Seb's main companion and lover. Seb definitely slept with people on the side, but Mark brushed that off: 1. Bcs its very period typical. 2. He was the main, they were the side, what more needs to be said! But now *he's* the side piece, and is left wondering if their relationship was down to proximity alone. Not to pull a Mark and completely excuse Seb, but it's not. Just very different perceptions of love and relationships. And again, as I've mentioned before, he was raised to always be the most important person in the room, so he obviously has very different understandings, especially since he's always the center.

NANDL!!!!!! In my Habsburg book I've been reading lately, they randomly referred to one of them affectionately as "Nandl" and it's stuck in my head ever since. Can we start a movement to canonize that as an official Fernando nickname? I'm sooooo fond of it, I litrally ended the fic that way just so I could shoehorn that nickname in.

Speaking of the ending. It was really tough, I almost wanted to have Fernando burst in, looking for his ring, and then coming across whatever that is. But I didn't want to disrupt their moment anymore, it felt cruel. Though shame I couldn't mention that the reason why Seb's pants are nowhere to be found is because Fernando accidentally put them on and didn't realize till he was out of the room.

*I FORGOT TO POINT OUT ONE OF MY FAVORITE PARTS! Truly the danger of writing a post while falling asleep. There's something so incredibly funny to me the way they're talking so refined and then Seb just throws out: "that guy." It's a way to show his own disrespect of Fernando, not even using his name, implying he's just some guy(nur ein Kerl.) I laughed writing it cause it reminds me of the random dry humor anecdotes I've read lately.

[quartergremlin]

an edit:

sorry for slandering your name initial

transcript:

Capt: Complicated Relationship * 25 Aug 2024

Quarter: I need to nuke my following

M: Nooooooo! People like you!

Q: Yeah that's the problem. What happens when they don't like me anymore (for real or imagined reasons) and feel personally offended when I'm a multi-faceted person.

Q: This fandom feels so volatile sometimes. Sometimes it feels like it would be easiest to just get the scandal out of the way. Like trying to throw up when you're sick.

M: Then temper expectations by being honest! Just show who you are.

Q: gross.

M: You're impossible.

Q: But you love me?

M: Yes, I love you. Also don't make yourself throw up, it's bad for you.

Q: I'm not good at it anyway.

sfx: Ding!

[civetcider]

i hate when you feel anxiety about...nothing, like you feel the tightness and stress in your chest but then when you're trying to think about what's making you feel that way it's nothing, nothing is happening why do i feel like there is a leopard watching me

[artistformerlyknownasbutttrumpet]

you wanna know a fun trick? no one can see your ballot. if you understand that harris has to win if we want to like, preserve democracy in our country and also save millions of lives, but optics also matter a lot to you, and you're torn between doing the right thing and telling ppl on your tiktok that you "stuck to your morals" and voted third party or whatever... you can just lie. there's no law against it. no one will know. just check that harris box and then post your little video in your little internet echo chamber about how even tho a third party candidate will never win, and any vote not to harris is a vote for trump, at least you had the courage of your convictions to refuse to do the thing that will actually help people. you can have both. it can be your dirty little secret. you get to maintain your image, and the country also gets to not be on fire. win-win!! hashtag lifehack or something god plz vote for harris you guys i am fucking on my knees begging at this point

[epicqtefail]

since lowering the dose of and the frequency i take my meds i've developed a bad habit of ascribing any subtle change in my behaviour as being a result of this (mostly just out of paranoia because i'm worried about acting differently in a way i'm not aware or in control of).

but i just had a moment where i was looking at my most recent drawings and noticed it's like 90% connor butt jokes and thought, with genuine concern: oh no. med withdrawal is making me draw too much connor ass!!!

it certainly isn't. half of the shit i'm drawing are ideas i thought of years ago and took a shamefully long time to actually draw anyway. I just only gain self-awareness once those ideas can be perceived by others.

but damn. i can't believe i've been taking pills that stop you drawing connor ass for years! it's a sickness, and baby, i haven't put in my repeat prescription request.

[porcelain-rob0t]

i haven't explained my funger au very well outside of just posting the fic and out of context drawings but it takes place over 2 years after escaping the dungeon and it involves an ego death and forced self-care. thats why Enki is seemingly kinder and idk more normal looking?? he had a parasitic infection that nearly killed him (pregnancy parallels in the au story) in the dungeon and faced his god self, that would cause a complete ego death and total break of ones sense of self in anyone but it hit him especially hard. so Ragnvaldr took care of him, made him gradually accustomed to eating more than one meal a day, going outside at least once a week, and maintaining a healthier life style. he isnt actively dying of malnutrition so yeah he's been a bit more tempered. like taking a mostly feral stray cat and showing it love and it settles down. yeah its going to be mean and try to fight you but it just needs some patience. comfort is uncomfortable.

im not trying to "fanonize" the characters, im trying to tell a story about change

(also taking skinny miserable characters and making them fatter and happier is incredibly fun. you see an emaciated character and you yerk it to their visible bones. i see an emaciated character and i see a great opportunity. im putting them in eating disorder recovery.)