#im tryna get better with talkign to everybody and with starting conversations and with replying and the whole shebang yknow???
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thank you guys for being so patient with me when im not patient with myself
#ghjgkmh todays been kinda weird?? like one of those days where im restless but i know i have things to do#but i just cant get started and so i jsut sit around with all this pent up energy and pththtbhtbthbt#also im soryr for not replying to you if i havent im having trouble reeling it in today?? and just gathering all my thoughts up in one place#if that makes sense!! and i know i say 'if that makes sense' a lot adn ghjgkmh i dunno#maybe its cuz i woke up around fuckign noon or so and had my meds kinda later than i normally do??#idk im tryna fix my sleep schedule nshit and get back on track and ive jsut been mentally all over the place lately?#like ive been thinkin about htis dog at this petstore i volunteer at and i really wanna try adopting him for christmas or sometime after?#and hes this sweet shepard mix and hes so fuckign soft. like so goddamn soft youve got no idea.#and our appartments still a fuckign shitstorm so the idea that we might- keyword being might- be able to just#adopt another animal or somethgin at some point soon is motivating me to clean?? kinda???#even though i mega super doubt that we'll actually fuckign get around to it...cuz its basically we just.....#we wake up and go to work and come home and eat and then maybe run an errand or two and then go to sleep. rinse and repeat.#and with the holidays coming up too im worried we're just gonna be stuck here/working at the toystore for another year or more#like mom says that she could jsut go out and look for another job anytime she wants to#but i dont think shes either going to remember to or have the energy to get/find one? i dunno gjkmg#but im jsut. having a lotta trouble focusing today and lately too and jhkgm i dunno but thank you guys again for being patient with me#im tryna get better with talkign to everybody and with starting conversations and with replying and the whole shebang yknow???#and trying to shut myself up whenever i tyr to put myself down- which happens a lot and i gues s thats part of why im having troible focusin
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