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if-found-return-to-gusu · 4 years ago

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We’re Back and it’s Time for a STORY

Sooooooooooooo…..

I’ve been a bit uh… let’s say absent lately. Haha.

I hope you’ve been enjoying the queue and not missing my rapier wit too much.

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D

To all my rabid (3?) fans, I say….

My bad. :D

I haven’t forgotten you, my beautiful followers. And I haven’t cast this blog away by any means. I may have gotten hitched in a scandalous runaway marriage with the love of my life but I will still have time for you! I promise!

I’ve just been… Busy.

With… stuff…

I’d tell you with what stuff….

But I’m not gonna.

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

BUT I decided it was high past time for me to take a moment out of my busy schedule to give y’all a little update.

Besides Lan Zhan decided that since I’m actually home tonight that it was pampering time.

Man sat me down in front of him and is rubbing my shoulders as we speak so if I seem a little nadfj;kjfl;sjf at points blame him.

Anyway

Lan Zhan I know you can read this with your eagle vision.

On to the gossip.

Lan Zhan, I know your family said gossip isn’t allowed but we’re in this family now and Imma gossip. No matter how much you huff through your nose at me.

So Lan Zhan (yes you) gave me a little bit of a heart attack with his last update. But only for like 5 seconds.

-ahem-

NGL for a second I thought HE thought that I was being unfaithful. Nearly died.

Anyway. >w>

Fortunately while I refused to read past even with my heart attack because I will never break the bonds of Peru, Nie Huaisang who was next to me has no qualms in doing so. I wouldn’t let him tell me what Lan Zhan said but he did reassure me that my fears were for naught. Lan Zhan wasn’t upset about me cheating on him because he trusts me and loves me and knows I would never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever (continue indefinitely) break that trust.

…..

Okay sorry.

Oh yeah.

Thanks Lan Zhan. I probably woulda got stuck on that loop for a while. But anyway yes. I love you, Lan Zhan, and you love me and we’re happy and there’s no way I’ll ever cheat on you and I know you’d never cheat on me!

I never even felt real attraction before I met you, did I ever tell you that? You were the first person I ever wanted. <3

Oh… Oh yeah. I did say that. Lol I forgot. :D

Is it bad if I forget what I say in therapy?

Guess I should ask my therapist :D :D :D

Anyway…. Tangent…. Um…

OH yeah heart attack.

Eventually Lan Zhan did let me read the Peru. Lan Zhan is there a point to the Peru if you just wait for me to get home and shove the lap top in my face and tell me to read it the same day you sent the Peru????

(Yes. I know there is a point. But like you can tell me anything. You don’t have to write it down first if you don’t want to. I don’t want you to ever feel afraid to talk to me. <3 )

Okay fine fine. Organize your thoughts first. I get it I get it.

I guess that’s kinda what I’m doing here too.

Oooooohhhhh you know what that spot does to me! Not now Lan Zhan I’m busy!!!!

Okay Okay so we talked afterwards. About what he wrote. About how it wasn’t me but Nie Huaisang who felt the bitter wrathful sting of his wild unrestrained jealousy.

EEK Sorry! I’m kidding! Kidding!

…. Mostly

But you were! You were jealous that I was spending time with him or rather him with me and not you! You said so!

Okay fine! Lonely.

LONELY BECAUSE YOU WERE JEALLASDF09ADSF

Okay fine fine! I’ll stop! If only for the sake of THIS WILL MAKE NO SENSE ONCE IT’S TYPED UP BECAUSE IT’S HALF OF A CONVERSATION AND THEY CAN’T HEAR YOU BECAUSE I’M NOT TYPING WHAT YOU SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

YES I KNOW IT’S MY FAULT

Okay

OKAY!!!!

Easy solution.

Lan Zhan and Nie Huaisang have a buddy date!

That I was dragged along to.

And by that

You know what you did don’t deny it!

I mean I was trying to back off to let them spend time together because I thought that’s what they wanted. I figured they would want to see each other one on one like SangSang and I were doing.

So I caved in like .2 seconds. Because of course I did. And honestly I wanted to go. I was planning on spending the night alone with Suibian waiting for my husband to come home in a sort of lonely penitence for my sins. I’ve been leaving Lan Zhan alone so much lately.

(He kissed my forehead <3 <3 <3 <3 )

Lan Zhan, I promise this won’t keep happening. It’s just… really important okay? I promise.

;asldkjfsa;lkjf

I love you too, Lan Zhan!!!!! Lan Er-Gege! <3

Eep!

Okay! I’ll keep writing so stop trying to distract me or this’ll never get done!

;aldkjsf;j

;alksdjf;lkasdjf

You can do whatever you like the moment this is posted I promise.

Ahem.

Jiang Cheng hope you’re still reading. >:D

Where was I… Oh yeah! Thanks Lan Zhan.

So we had a buddy date all together!

It wasn’t much but we all went over to Nie Huaisang’s house. Apparently DaGe was over at the de--- My beloved brother in law’s house on a date of their own so we had the place to ourselves.

OMG They should get hitched and then we’ll be brothers for REAL. OMg!

So I wanna say that… well in the past few months Nie Huaisang and I have really patched things up. I’m really happy he’s a part of our lives and I do not revoke the previously instated “family” status.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………..

We. willtalkaboutthatlater

Ahem

Okay.

But anyway, Nie Huaisang and I have talked. A lot. About all the things I said and the things he did and the things I did. We’ve come to an understanding. And well…

He forgave me.

I’m not sure I deserved it. I was really terrible to him. For a long time after the RE wore off.

I’d talked in therapy about it. I’m slowly learning that I’m maybe not to blame for all that’s wrong in the world but once I started to stop blaming myself I still had this need to blame… someone.

And I blamed the wrong person.

I mean I’m not saying that what I said didn’t have any truth with it. And we talked about that too. I had some points. But he did NOT deserve me going off like that. Not even a little.

But he started flicking my forehead every time I say sorry about it so I’m stopping

(SangSang did you take lessons from Wen Qing? Because fuck those snaps feel familiar)

Oh dear goodness. I forgot how disjointed these posts always are. Still following along? Yes? Good!

Okay back to the story.

Meeting at Nie Huaisang’s place for super fun hangout bros night for bros. (except Lan Zhan and I aren’t bros.)

Yes yes you’re right Lan Zhan we didn’t make SangSang a third wheel. Mostly because it was his house and hanging with him was the point but also because very time we started “being gross” he started whining.

And then I’d kick him and tell him that he wanted us to get together so badly before and now he gets to deal with the consequences.

And then we would be more gross just to spite him.

Okay maybe we third-wheeled him a little BUT IT WAS WITH PURPOSE.

I can’t help it Lan Zhan! Every time you kiss me I forget what I’m doing!

………………………..

Wait…. What was I… LAN ZHAN YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE!!!!

A;LDKJFA;DLSKF

…………….

I can feel you smirking but I’m not gonna look

Because if I look I’m gonna kiss you again and as I’ve said MORE THAN ONCE THIS NEEDS TO BE WRITTEN AND IT AIN’T GONNA WRITE ITSELF

A;lkdsjfla;ksdjf;lsdakjfl;skdajfl;aj;lfkdjsa;lkfj THAT’S A;LKJA;FLAKDJF LAN ZHAN I TOLD YOU LATER

YOU HAVE TO BE GOOD OR I’M NOT GIVING YOU ANYTHING! I’LL GO STRAIGHT TO BED AND YOU’LL BE LEFT WANTING

………….

I’LL GO BI BI BI TO BED BED BED AND YOU WON’T BE ALLOWED IN IN IN.

Fuck and I spent all that time thinking /I/ was the goblin in this relationship.

DO NOT GET INTO A SEMANTICS BATTLE WITH ME IT WILL NEVER END

…………………………….

-ahem-

To which I maintain Nie Huaisang doesn’t count as people.

We arrived at Nie Huaisang’s house at the appointed time on the appointed day. Many nights were left behind in anticipation of this grand reunion.

(I mean that in the best sense.)

Anyway I rang the doorbell because Lan Zhan’s arms were full of snacks and wine. And we sat there and waited.

I think I thought it was gonna rain and was just thinking that we should have gotten an umbrella, though of course if there was any risk of rain my ever on top of his shit husband would have brought one so we were good, when the door opened to reveal Lord Goblin SangSang in all his lounge pants glory.

I didn’t know that sweats came in designer.

Nie Huaisang told me that they were a gift from Jin ZiXuan for a birthday or something and defensively states that they’re just “Super comfy okay???” but I know he likes the glam.

SangSang you know you’re a dramatic bitch don’t deny it.

Anyway. We were waved inside rather quickly because while the sweats were designer, they were still sweats and he would rather die than be caught dead by someone other than his “chosen few” in something like sweats.

As I said

Dramatic bitch.

We were ushered away to the other side of the manor where the home theater was. You remember the one? From Christmas? Where I almost avoided all the damn PROBLEMS by kissing Lan Zhan right then and there?

Except

CHILDRENNNN who I love dearly interrupted us.

Oh.. and that was the night I kept having FEELINGS about Lan Zhan and kids and just… aldsf;sjlfkj

Lan Zhan we need to have that conversation again.

A;dslkjfsal;dfj

Yes? Yes. Okay

BUT THAT’S NOT THIS STORY! Anyway, that home theater.

Ah Memories.

Ignorance is bliss and I want to maintain my innocence.

Anyway. So like there’s lots of space in that room that isn’t just chairs and screen because it’s an entertaining space.

BUT so long as it’s been thoroughly disinfected it’s still a great place to hang! :D

Nie Huaisang had set up the place with nice lights and a table for snacks and all that good stuff. We deposited the snacks that Lan Zhan was holding and I promptly filled the now vacant space with the me. :D And then looked at the goodies.

So Nie Huaisang is either really thoughtful or a little shitstain. Because apparently he had read about our New Years experiments with alcohol and had gotten a bunch of light alcohol and mixers and stuff so that Lan Zhan could drink with us!

BUT he also made a point of telling Lan Zhan that he doesn’t need to feel pressured to drink. They’re there so he CAN not so he has to.

Lan Zhan looked really touched at that and I felt so warm.

I love my family.

So we decided to pick out some snacks and drinks (starting with non-alcoholic first because we’re adults or some shit) and sat down.

Now one would naturally think, home theater. Snacks. Comfy chairs. We’re watching a movie, right?

WRONG

GIANT MARIO KART.

Nie Huaisang just dumped controllers on our laps and told us to strap in.

Have I ever mentioned

How

Fucking

Adorable

Lan

Zhan’s

Face

When

He’s

Confused????

BECAUSEHE’SSOFUCKINGADORABLE

Don’t you hide from me!!

Hold on I gotta kiss my husband a million times. One moment please.

Okay. That’s better. <3

=w= ahhhh

Where was I….

YOU CAN’T DISTRACT ME BECAUSE I CAN READ AND I KNOW WHERE I WAS NOW BECAUSE I READ IT SO YOU CANNOT FIGHT THE FACT THAT YOU’RE FUCKING ADORABLE.

I win. :D

So my adorable husband blinked his adorable eyes in an adorable way in adorable confusion at the… moderately-adorable-when-he-wants-to-be Nie Huaisang.

Who just grinned at us and pressed a magic button on his magic remote to make the magic things happen. The lights dimmed enough that we could still see but the screen was brighter too…

Does that make sense? I don’t care.

The lights were half dimmed. And the screen lit up

And suddenly we were playing a game.

This time at least you didn’t go around trying to obey the non-existent road laws.

And okay. So Like I think we played that on new years too, right? Yeah.

You can’t stop at stoplights that aren’t there Lan Zhan. I don’t care if the intersection would be dangerous without it.

Well how do I put this politely….

Y’all know how I always gush about how Lan Zhan is perfect and can do no wrong? And ask quite frequently “Is there nothing this man can’t do???”

So First I hold to my first statement. Lan Zhan is perfect and can do no wrong.

That. Being. Said.

The man sucks at Mario Kart.

Okay I said it. It’s out there. No take backs.

I’m sorry, Lan Zhan. I love you and you’re perfect but oh my god.

Nie Huaisang ordered some like pizza and wings and shit and we decided to crack open the wine.

But seriously it was so much fun. We played for.. Oh fuck it must have been hours.

Oh yeah! That’s why we didn’t at first. We were cooling it down right? Yeah because the stuff we brought was warm….

Wait no but Nie Huaisang’s wasn’t warm… WHATEVER we started drinking with the pizza.

Oh oh speaking of the pizza, Lan Zhan was that the first time you ate really shitty store bought pizza? Because you looked at it like it was the scum of the earth.

You didn’t have to force yourself to eat it. D: Did you hate the whole of it? You didn’t like it even a little? D:

D: D: D: D:

THE POINT WASN’T TO FORCE YOU TO EAT FOOD YOU HATED D; D; D; D;

OTL

Okay you didn’t HATE it but that doesn’t mean you liked it. D: You really don’t have to push yourself. I mean we could have ordered something else for you or gotten more snacks or something.

…. Myuh okay fine. D: But next time if you don’t wanna eat something don’t, okay? It’s not wasteful. Leftovers are allowed.

Okay well we can talk about that later more if we have to

Pizza reheates just fine.

For now

ON WITH THE STORYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAKSDJF;ASLDJFK;SAKJFD;ALKJD F;KJDON’T POKE ME THERERERERERE

oKAY

Ahem.

So long story short we started drinking and eating shitty food while playing Mario Kart. And so okay.

There’s a point to this.

So Lan Zhan as I stated before is… not the greatest at the game. :D

BUT turns out neither are SangSang and I.

Especially after knocking back a few.

So when Lan Zhan gets drunk, not only is he the cutest thing in the world, but he starts following imaginary traffic laws as I said before.

Now the thing IS

That when SangSang and I have had a few too many

We are much more likely to go the… entirely wrong way on the track.

And fall off.

And I think at one point we just kept playing bumper cars.

My point is, that Lan Zhan is following these traffic laws right? Like the Toad patrol is gonna like arrest him or something if he doesn’t. But this works to his advantage once we start getting stupid because he’s careful! So he doesn’t fall off! So he just chugs along.

And at one point finally he managed to come in 2nd by beating Huaisang.

So Nie Huaisang starts throwing a tantrum to the point that I almost missed it.

But I didn’t.

I heard you Lan Zhan.

With this self-satisfied expression on his smug, adorable face. Flushed from the liquor and high off a fresh mostly win.

“Fuck yeah.”

Oh my god. It was so quiet! But

Lan Zhan

That was the funniest shit.

Seriously he just said it under his breath. So smug and pleased to hell with himself

“Fuck yeah.”

Oh I coulda kissed him.

…. Well I did

A lot actually

We made a bit of a mess because I knocked something over to do it.

But like how could I resist? Lan Zhan says something like that and he’s so precious and cute and “fuck yeah” how could I not throw myself at him?

I think Nie Huaisang had to actually pry me off of him before things got a bit more… ‘entertaining’ in the entertainment room.

Sorrrryyyyyyyyy

:D :D :D

Ahem

Lan Zhan we should get our own theater room. ;w;

Anyway

So We were punished by having to sit on either side of Nie Huaisang for a while until we could learn to ‘keep our hands to ourselves’.

In the end we calmed down enough to cuddle without a chaperone.

WE’RE MARRIED YOU CAN’T KEEP US APART

;alskdjf

Anwyay

We played a bit more and drank a bit more and then started to watch a movie.

Nie Huaisang brought in some pillows and blankets because the chairs like apparently convert into a futon? Like they can be chairs, a couch, a futon. Like ?????

It was nice though.

It was really nice though because we all ended up falling asleep together in a cuddle pile. It was so comfy! It reminded me a bit of living with the Wens. We would end up cuddled a lot the whole family. Partially because there wasn’t much room and sometimes because the furnace would go out so we needed to be warm.

And so was this. Nie Huaisang and I both ended up snuggled to Lan Zhan. I was going to ask him if he was okay with it - I know he’s picky about being touched- but I could see when I looked how happy he was. He must have felt as cozy as me.

I noticed lately that he’s been more… receptive to touch. Especially with Lan Xichen.

Lan Zhan, I’m glad you’re opening up more. I don’t want you to push yourself if it makes you uncomfortable. It’s okay to prefer not to touch others. But if it’s something you want I’ll support you. <3

I remember being very confused when I woke up but I think it’s because my favorite body pillow got replaced by Nie Huaisang who is all elbows.

Oof.

Also, SangSang, no offense but omg you are a hot mess in the morning. How long does it take you to make yourself presentable every day? I mean respect. Y’all know I just accept the goblin look and hope for the best but you go from that to that every DAY? Fuck.

Now I didn’t have to look around long to find my husband.

Mmmmm…….

Have I ever told you how fucking amazing he is?

Oh oh likely story mister. You accidentally timed THAT pose for when I was looking? Uh-huh. Sure. You’ve got 45 different pose options in your regular routine and you just HAPPEN to choose that one RIGHT then huh?

Yeah you know the one Lan Zhan. Did you do that on purpose because you noticed me waking up?

Uh-huh that’s what I thought.

I’m on to you mister.

;alksjdf;alsdkjfas;jf

You can’t distract me with more kisses!!!

Noooooo

I’m almost done!

At least let me finish the Huaisang story!!

Asdkfj;asdjf;kalsjf

Oh. MY. GOD!!!! LAN ZHAAAAAAAAN

Okay I”m wrapping this up because my husband is about to---

A;kdfj;asdjf

Okay

So anyway we woke up and had breakfast and went home and then it was my turn to be pressed against a wall and it was all a very nice time with Nie Huaisang and then later with just the two of us because Nie Huaisang had NO PART in that wall adventure after we got home and honestly Lan Zhan I can see why you like it so much when I do that because mmmmph

Okay thanks for tuning in I’m gonna go fuck my husband now bye.

#(modern au! season 2 - the real husbands of gusu)

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