#interaction: angelika

[jimblejamblewritings]

Plagiarism

My work has been stolen since January 2022 on Wattpad by someone called AutumnRxses5. I am very upset about this.

It looks like they took advantage of me having to delete my old blog and make this new one because now it looks like they posted first and I copied. The only good news is I have my original Google Drive folder AND I published on Quotev in 2021. Ugh this is frustrating. Sorry, this is not the comeback I wanted to make

OMG it's draysgxrl on Tumblr! I'm not tagging her so don't go over there. It's jus people don't interact with her on other stories if they don't want to.

@starsval @helloitsmeeeeeee @callsigndiamond @isabela30 @rachelccollier @ghostkingblake @b3t0xic @tendous-pretty-hair @caelum-the-part-time-nihilist @superduckmilkshake @sendnuwudes @prongsprincessworld @slightlynotslightlyobsessing @wildernessflora @siriuslycaptainofthedawntreader @mommymilkerfanclub @amandachrystinallc @lupinsbookshelf @harrysgoldenwatermelon @loving-and-dreaming @mishtay​ @ifilwtmfc @venomsvl @peaches-n-sunscreen @summerellaz @supernaturallover2002 @sambucky8 @9daykrisr @thebitchinleo @23victoria @scarlets-widow @pagetpagetpagetpaget @lovexnatasha @awesomebooklover17 @1234-angelika @imatrisk @blackreaderatrisk @princess-jules47 @alexloveskili @a-marie-a @siriuslysirius1107​ @i-have-no-life-charlie

[dustedmagazine]

Listed: Jordan Martins

Jordan Martins is a musician, organizer, educator, and visual artist whose works have been shown in Chicago and Brazil. While he has played steel guitar and other instruments for years with the singer / songwriter Angela James, his first solo album, Fogery Nagles, was released by the Astral Spirits label in the fall of 2023. In his review for Dusted, Bill Meyer wrote, “Fogery Nagles arrives, seemingly out of nowhere, but just at the right time.”

Sarah Davachi — Cantus Figures Laurus

I’m a sucker for long-form droney music in general and as of late I’ve been bathing in organ music of this kind as much as possible. I had really enjoyed Davachi’s other works but fell fully under her spell with this box set of works from the last few years with over four hours of heavy tones unfolding in various ways. I like to listen to this as loud as possible to feel these sounds as vibrations. There are several shorter tracks that focus on a particular palette or tonality, with the later tracks being from live recordings of longer performances. Even though the set is a compilation joining these sets of works together after the fact, I love this body of work as a sequence of experiences.

Caetano Veloso — Araça Azul

It’s hard to pick a favorite Veloso record, but if I had to it would be the utterly unique Araça Azul, recorded in 1972 when he returned to Brazil after being exiled by the military dictatorship years prior. The record is markedly outside of the original zeitgeist of the Tropicalia movement — less ecstatic, hopeful, collaborative, and postmodern in the mixing of styles — but at the same it’s maybe the purest expression of the experimental range of sounds and poetry that the movement ushered in. There are other musicians playing on some tracks, but the whole thing feels like a single creative brain tinkering with ideas and sounds until they take enough shape to be a “song.” There’s a fundamental collage approach that I love — where he engages in field recordings, musique concrète, dissonant orchestrations overlapping on simple folk melodies, and transformative and ballsy covers of classics by singers like Monsueto and Milton Nascimento.

Angelika Niescier, Savannah Harris, Tomeka Reid — Beyond Dragons

I had the good fortune of seeing this trio play at Elastic in Chicago this past spring. When they finished their set, my wife leaned over to me and said “THAT WAS HOT SHIT” which is maybe the most accurate thing to say about these players and this music. Niescier’s compositions are somehow tight and specific while simultaneously giving each player ample room to flex and explore with abundant space around the components of each piece. I love their ability to charge into a piece full steam with an almost aggressive sense of urgency and then allow their interactions to gradually fragment and dissolve into textural interplays and quiet call-and-response improvisations.

Paul Franklin— solos on “Together Again”

A friend hipped me to a video of Paul Franklin soloing over the Buck Owens classic “Together Again” and I’ve since gone down YouTube rabbit holes watching as many clips as I can find (and I see other people in the comments on the same journey). Franklin is a Nashville legend who has played pedal steel on hundreds of recordings since the seventies. As a member of the Time Jumpers, he plays as a sideman to Vince Gill at local venues in Nashville covering classic country songs, often playing this tune which originally featured Tom Brumley playing a quick steel solo that used some very innovative voicings at the time. Franklin’s playing is so technically brilliant, but it also illustrates the ways in which the instrument can be psychedelic and disorienting, even in a conventional setting. His solos always follow a basic architecture but there’s subtle variations, improvisations and flourishes in every version where you can see him trying to find new ways of cracking it open. My favorite clips are the ones where he goes out on a limb and the audience is noticeably giggling as they experience the sonic floor drop out from under them like they’re on a carnival ride.

Nicholas Britell— “Unto Stone We are One”, funeral “March Song of Ferrix,” season 1 finale of Andor

I sometimes dabble in the questionable array of new Star Wars projects and absolutely loved Andor’s vision of a bureaucratic fascist space empire, not spending a second on jedis and lightsabers, instead examining the interrelationships of imperial occupations, military contractors, and resistance movements. The last episode is masterful in part because the tension of the entire season simmers to a boil during a funeral procession with working class miners playing junky space orchestral instruments. The score of this funeral march by Nicholas Britell is a haunting, yearning motif that steadily builds but the stroke of genius is how perfectly out of tune the instruments are! Such a simple and surprising choice does such heavy lifting in terms of adding a sense of materiality to the setting and imbuing the dramatic build up with a subtle unease beneath the gorgeous arrangements.

Terry Riley— Music for The Gift

A very early work by Riley experimenting with tape loops, with an approach that is uncannily prescient in the way it does a live remix of a jazz quartet as they improvise around tunes. The fact that this particular quartet was Chet Baker’s (with trombonist Luis Fuentes, drummer George Solano, and bassist Luigi Trussardi) is a surprising interlocutor in all of this: it would maybe seem more fitting to for this to involve an unorthodox voice rather than a more straight ahead, idiomatic jazz player for these out-of-the-box experiments. But I think the music works precisely because of the nimble-swinging of the group as Riley cuts up and repeats their melodies and phrasing back onto them in a slurry of loops that piles up and interacts with their improvising in unexpected ways. The clarity and charm of Baker’s playing is a perfect fit. Peter Margasak wrote a great piece about it for Sound American that you can find here.

Macie Stewart and Lia Kohl— Recipe for a Boiled Egg

Two of my favorite improvisers in Chicago. They are so emblematic of what I love about the creative scene here in the ways that they endlessly collaborate across a range of genres and scenes, whether improvising or composing, playing songs or deconstructing forms. This is a biased pick because they recorded this at Comfort Station, the small and idiosyncratic multidisciplinary art space I run in Chicago. The thing that first drew me to Comfort Station was the building’s unique vibrant acoustics and the porousness of sound that you get with an old building directly facing a busy street. Macie and Lia lean into that context in stunning ways on this recording, narrowing in on their voices and their bowed instruments reverberating and inviting in sounds from the outside world instead of recording in the controlled environment of a studio. You can hear ideas take shape as each listens, responds, builds, grows, dissolves into the other’s playing, with a recording quality that grounds them to a particular time and place.

Olivier Messiaen — “Louange à l’Éternité de Jésus,” from the Quartet for the End of Time

This is probably the single most impactful and cosmic piece of music I’ve ever encountered. Messiaen wrote all the movements for the Quartet for the End of Time while he was in a Nazi POW camp, and the entire work is on another level. But the sixth movement — just piano and cello — brings me to my knees every time I hear it. The first time I heard it was somewhat random and personal: during my freshman year of college, my mom was coincidentally the staff accompanist at the conservatory of the university I attended. And I would often borrow her car to run errands while she was rehearsing with music majors preparing their senior recitals. On one such occasion I was tip-toeing back into her studio to return her keys and heard a bass player (bass majors often adapt cello pieces for their senior recital) bowing the opening notes of the melody which seems to ask for a dissonant response from the piano. Instead, I heard my mom play the slow, pulsing major triad chord that entered in response, settling the piece into a hypnotic journey. I felt like the floor gave way in an instant and I had never experienced anything like it. Susan Alcorn has adapted it for solo pedal steel in a really unique way melding the harmony and melody together, and Atomic included it on their 2018 release of covers, Pet Variations, playing with deep restraint that the piece calls for while also letting the energy bubble up restlessly.

Jeanne Lee — Conspiracy

It’s hard to find a better expression of vocals and poetry integrated into a free jazz setting than this brilliant 1975 record, with Jeanne Lee leading a killer ensemble including Steve McCall and Sam Rivers among others. I had never heard Lee’s work before coming across this album when it was re-released by Moved-by-Sound in 2021 and I was struck by how much sparseness there is (somewhat similar to some of Caetano Veloso’s delicate moments on Araça Azul even), and how simple utterances give way to grooves and freakouts with the rest of the players wrapping around Lee’s command of the sonic space. If I’m being honest, I think these kinds of approaches to free form improvisations can often collapse into a kind of cheesiness or ham-fistedness, and this record NEVER once gets close to that, everything feels so purposeful even when the exploration is at its outer limits.

Olaibi — Mimihawasu

Although I had heard her playing on works by Japanese band OOIOO, this is a musician/project that I hadn’t heard of by name until someone I follow on Instagram posted that they had passed away this October (coincidentally on my birthday). Something in the way they eulogized her touched me deeply and I listened to all of her records in the days after (and often since). Maybe it is because my exposure to her music was immediately tied to her recent death, but there’s something so profound, tragic, beautiful, frail, intimate and loving about her music all at once. I wish I had heard her more before her passing, but I’m grateful that in the wake of her death this world of sounds has entered my life.

[kvibe-test]

Top Resources for NYC Indie Filmmakers

Best Resources for Indie Filmmakers in NYC

New York City stands as a vibrant center for independent filmmaking, powered by a blend of opportunity, talent, and rich cultural diversity. Indie filmmakers in NYC have exceptional access to crucial resources—including funding, education, dynamic communities, and iconic venues for screenings. Below is a current guide highlighting the top resources, along with practical steps for how to utilize them to build a successful film career in the city.

Film Funding and Grants

Jerome Foundation’s NYC Film Production Grant: Designed specifically for early-career filmmakers, this grant supports creative risks and artistic innovation in independent film. Recipients gain not only funding but also connections to a distinguished alumni network. Action Step: Keep an eye on the Jerome Foundation’s website for application periods and eligibility. Craft a unique and persuasive proposal.

Additional Grants and Fellowships: Opportunities from organizations like Film Independent and the Miller/Packan Fund offer support to NYC filmmakers working across documentary, narrative, and experimental forms. Many provide funding combined with mentorship, business skills training, and network-building. Action Step: Use resources such as comprehensive grant listings to keep track of deadlines and tailor each application to the specific funding source.

Career Growth and Professional Development

Development Labs and Workshops: NYC hosts numerous interactive workshops, labs, and mentoring sessions—such as those by Film Independent—that assist indie filmmakers in project development, gaining industry mentorship, and sharpening essential production capabilities. Action Step: Apply to local labs and join development programs to broaden your skills and professional network.

NYFA’s For Filmmakers: The New York Foundation for the Arts offers vital resources including guides on distribution strategies, marketing, and business development—all key to sustaining an independent film career. Action Step: Visit the NYFA For Filmmakers resource hub regularly to stay updated on industry trends and best practices.

Networking and Community Building

Gotham Film & Media Institute: Previously known as IFP, Gotham offers members access to industry mixers, educational sessions, and networking events featuring prominent creatives and executives. Action Step: Join as a member and engage in both virtual and in-person events to cultivate lasting professional relationships.

Brooklyn Filmmakers Collective: This invite-only community organizes peer-driven workshops where filmmakers receive critical feedback on works-in-progress—facilitating festival and distribution opportunities. Action Step: Watch for membership openings to benefit from collaborative peer reviews and a supportive creative environment.

Other NYC Indie Organizations: Groups like NYFVC and The Indie Film Collective host panels, screenings, and communal gatherings tailored for filmmakers at various stages. Action Step: Attend meetings and screenings regularly to gain insight, inspiration, and expand your creative network.

Showcasing Your Work: Festivals and Screenings

New York City Independent Film Festival (NYCIndieFF): Known as a leading platform for emerging filmmakers, this festival showcases indie voices through films, panel discussions, and networking events over the course of a week. Action Step: Submit your films and maximize the opportunity to engage with audiences and industry insiders.

Inwood Film Festival and Local Screenings: Community-centered festivals like Inwood provide premieres, filmmaker Q&A sessions, and workshops that introduce fresh audiences and potential collaborators to your work. Action Step: Track nearby festivals and organize or join workshops to boost your visibility and build your network.

Noteworthy Indie Screening Venues: Locations such as the Angelika Film Center regularly showcase independent films and host special events. Action Step: Attend screenings and seek collaboration opportunities with these venues for Q&As and premiere events.

Emerging Trends: Diversity and Inclusion

Support for Women and Underrepresented Filmmakers: Programs from the Sundance Institute, Women in Film, and NYC-based collectives focus on enhancing access for marginalized voices through dedicated grants, mentoring, and networking. Action Step: Look into fellowships and communities designed for underrepresented filmmakers to access support, mentorship, and funding.

Production Tools, Education, and Facilities

Workshops, Masterclasses, and Online Courses: NYC offers extensive practical training on filmmaking techniques, technology, post-production, and the business side of cinema. Action Step: Take advantage of local classes, masterclasses, and remote learning opportunities to maintain and enhance your competitive edge.

Access to Equipment and Post-Production Resources: Memberships in shared workspaces—sometimes covered by grants—make equipment rental and editing facilities affordable for indie filmmakers. Action Step: Apply for memberships or relevant grant programs to gain access to resources that could otherwise be cost-prohibitive.

Action Plan for Indie Filmmakers

Create a calendar marking grant and festival deadlines important for your projects and stage in your filmmaking journey.

Use workshops, labs, and industry events to build skills and strengthen your professional network.

Engage actively with filmmaking collectives and industry groups to foster a supportive creative community.

Submit films thoughtfully to festivals and collaborate with screening venues to broaden your audience.

Champion diversity by applying for specialized programs supporting underrepresented filmmakers.

Further Resources

Jerome Foundation NYC Film Production Grant

New York City Independent Film Festival

Inwood Film Festival

NYFA For Filmmakers Knowledge Base

No Film School: List of Film Grants

Networking Events for Filmmakers in NYC

Exploring NYC's Indie Film Scene

NYC’s endlessly creative environment offers immense support to indie filmmakers at every level. By strategically accessing these resources, you can unlock funding opportunities, forge meaningful connections, and amplify underrepresented voices—ensuring your films reach the right audiences and that your career maintains steady momentum.

Tags: #resources #indiefilm #filmproduction #NYC #networking

What’s the most helpful resource you use as a filmmaker in NYC? Tell us below!

[lovehas1joyrains2]

A Guide For Initiating Contact with Our Family The ET'S Submitted by Lia on Thu, 03/07/2013 - 14:42

by Angelika Whitecliff

2005

from GalacticDiplomacy Website

Initiating Contact with benevolent extraterrestrial beings is for many a step in the positive direction of taking greater responsibility for your life¹s choices and actions.

You have removed yourself from the ranks of those who remain passive, those who wait instead of using enterprise to create the new reality, and you become a catalyst for the vision of empowered and harmonious interactions that hails the advent of an 'Awakened Humanity'.

Here is held the enlightened idea that all consciousness, all beings, are connected back to our originating source via love and that the creator is within all the created. Nothing separates us but our own self-awareness and this need not be an isolationist state, but a world with open borders to the galaxy and beyond.

Initiating Contact also implies that you have or are ready to embrace a framework of reality in which we are not alone or isolated, nor are we the only evolved being with the capacity for abstract thought, a desire to improve ourselves and a spirit for adventure and goodwill that impels us outward to meet our neighbors.

Spiritual study (and now the study of string theory in quantum physics), as well as telepathic and physical contact with ET friends, provides us with the tools and capacity to conceptualize the idea of life existing - not only in our dimension at a specific frequency (or life wave) that we identify by our five senses - but that life can and does exist at other frequencies and dimensions. It is possible to create a bridge of communication to such civilizations and beings through the inner senses alone.

This is what the first phase of Initiating Contact is all about, expanding beyond the five senses to embrace and develop your extrasensory abilities and spiritual will power.

Physical contact is for many the ultimate goal. Such events are happening right now around the planet. Many humanoid and other types of respectful and highly developed beings are going to the greatest lengths to avoid distressing or frightening people as they reach out to those who are ready and those who sincerely hold a long term goal for such contact experience. Yet physical contact is NOT the final goal or one of the highest importance, this pedestal is held for our spiritual development alone as the highest achievement and the main reason why we are here in the first place.

Contact is only relevant if it in some way promotes a greater personal and transcendental understanding of your true eternal self. Contact is only desirable if it in some way can inspire you to live your life more fully and to hold firmer your own vision for the planet transformed into the world of your dreams. ET ships in the sky are a sign of the support and encouragement of other races.

Yet a sighting in and of itself is not what is important, it is what you allow this confirmation of the vaster universe to do for your own state of mind and heart.

General Tools and Practices for Preparing for Contact

Contact preparation is an ongoing discipline that relies upon your spiritual development and the studies which support such development.

In order to advance, you must be consistent, patient and put in the practice to achieve the desired results - just like in any activity that requires skills to be developed such as ballet, chess, playing a musical instrument etc.

MEDITATION: Meditation is the key to self-mastery, including the key to overcoming your deepest fears. A daily meditation practice is the first step to preparing and being prepared for contact at all levels. Meditation can take many forms, but basically it is a tool for silencing the mind and inner chatter so that you can learn to hear your own higher guidance.

It is from this place of inner silence that you also begin to develop your ability to receive and send telepathic communications. Once you learn to hear your own divine voice you develop discernment and wisdom, and eventually it becomes very difficult for anyone or any being to deceive or manipulate you.

BREATHWORK: In yoga there is a disciple know as Pranayama which is designed to specifically teach how to control and manipulate the breath for heightened consciousness, greater physical endurance and developing the central nervous system to accommodate higher energy frequencies. Learning to control the breath is important to both the telepathic and physical contact experience. For telepathic communications the breath can be used to help settle the mind and to expand that inner silence to better facilitate sending and receiving messages. In physical contact, deep and focused breathing can help one to overcome the natural fears which may arise and attempt to take control of an unique experience.

Practice breathing in slowly and deeply for a count a five, pause a moment, exhale slowly to a count of five, then pause again for a moment. Bring your full attention inside yourself to that place between breaths. (This place between breaths in which all air is exhaled is the state from which inner stillness can be found.) Hold that place of stillness a moment and then breath in again slowly and deeply to the five count. Each time you come back to the place of a full exhalation and the pause, focus on bringing the stillness into more and more of the breath cycle ­ expanding the momentary pause to include the breathing in until in reaches the full breath pause.

This breathing exercise should be done every day for ten minutes prior to your meditation practice. Expand the five count over time to a six count and then a seven count and beyond ­ but do not go beyond what feels comfortable. This exercise is meant to help you increase your deep, focused breath while staying completely relaxed and at peace. Any strain means you are attempting to move ahead too quickly.

Eventually a 15 or even 20+ count may be achieved.

DIET: Telepathic communications take you into an arena in which you will experience heightened frequencies in and around your body. This is not a problem for a healthy and fine tuned body, but in can create stress for those whose bodies are not adapted. In the physical contact experience, even more preparation is often needed to get the body to a state of its optimal frequency capacity. Fortunately, there are many dietary things we can do to optimize ourselves and our vibrations……

[ which is let go og all belief systems and simply Be Present In the Moment of Now]

SELF CONTROL EXERCISES: An important part of any contact (or life) experience is feeling that you are prepared for whatever happens, and knowing that you are ultimately protected no matter what challenge presents itself. These exercises will help to establish this foundation and may be done once a week or more as possible.

They are suggested specifically by the very loving humanoid beings of Ganymede through their contactee Sixto Paz Cruz of Peru.

Go to an isolated place in nature with a friend at night. For one hour, part ways walking in different directions and spend the time alone in the silence and solitude ­ continue strolling or find a place to sit and contemplate. In the darkness of night find and experience that inner knowing that you are protected and looked after. This exercise can be used to calm the nerves and to more deeply connect with your own inner resources.

Eventually the silence will be welcome and in it you will experience a heightened sense of unity with all life.

Face your fears in meditation. Think of a thing that frightens you greatly in life and hold that thought in meditation. Follow the thought of that fear and allow it to lead you. Some people will see or experience in their mind¹s eye a story of an event that led to such a fear, and others will just feel helpless without much input.

As you confront that which makes you afraid, ask yourself why you feel helpless. Envision a new way of dealing with this threat and find a way in which you are not helpless at all. In facing your inner fears, you bring greater peace and ease to your life and fortify your own sense of what you are truly capable of achieving.

HOLDING THE VISION: Many of our ET friends tells us that no matter what the challenges, we must learn to hold our own vision of a better world and not let anything tear this from us. This is the hope for our future, our path out of war, hate, pollution, poverty, global warming and all our planetary ills.

It is our belief that we can make a difference, that we CAN create the world of our dreams, and doing work to support this inner vision.

Any and all work is important work as long as it feeds or cultivates the creation of this better world. We all have a role to play and many helpful ETs are here to support and encourage us to live to our full potential.

Telepathic Communications

Most ET races communicate through thought transference, also known as telepathy. Contrary to long standing myths, telepathy has nothing to do with trying to penetrate someone else's brain in order to extract what they are thinking. Trying to intrude inside another persons head will reap little in terms of information and will probably give them a headache as well (from you pushing your energy into their space). This is poor psychic etiquette and ineffective.

Telepathy follows the same guidelines as meditation. It requires a person to quiet their minds and internal chatter and once inner silence is achieved, then the 'real' communications are heard. In meditation this is the access point to the voice of the higher self. When communicating telepathically, this same silent vastness is the gateway to all the frequencies imaginable and thus the internal transfer station for sending and receiving, for exchanging ideas and information with other beings.

As stated earlier the information of what another is thinking is not found by entering them, it is found by entering yourself. It is found through the achievement of mastering your own internal clutter, by refining that which is coarse in perception within you, by creating a pathway that knowingly connects you to the all that is, that great 'oneness' that all consciousness shares.

Telepathic communications do not take only one form either. They can and do sometimes come as words, internal verbal sentences, but they also come as images, pictures that travels to your mind¹s eye as well as gestalts of pure knowing. Sometimes it is as if someone has just downloaded you with a whole block of information that you recognize as a complete structure without having to pull apart the pieces. Thus telepathy can put to work a whole array of spiritual senses in order to convey the ideas and information fully and in an accessible form.

Yet one must keep in mind that the information, even telepathically conveyed, is still subject to an individual¹s perceptions and filters of reality. If a topic is weighty or emotional for someone, it will be especially influenced by one¹s own subjective views and biases. Just as four people can witness the same event and relate very different versions of what happened, so too can a telepathic message be slanted in the same way by personal perspectives.

The more internal spiritual work you have done in facing and mastering your own issues, the more universal your perceptions and truth becomes.

How to Set Up Your Own Galactic Diplomacy Contact Group

Form a (small) group of like-minded individuals interested in establishing telepathic communications with ET friends. Meet at least once per week. Groups create a stable and safe environment in which to embark on this journey of contact. Consistency is important.

Many ET groups establish regular communications with a contact group after they have proven an ongoing commitment.

Ask each person of your group:

Do you feel ready to open yourself to a telepathic exchange?

Do you feel ready to have a visual confirmation of the ET presence? ­ i.e. see an ET ship.

Do you feel ready to have a physical contact experience?

Do you want the benevolent ETs to show up and make themselves known to the entire planet?

(These are important questions which will help you to determine basic parameters for your goals as a group and to identify the comfort zones of each individual ­ remember that the benevolent ETs do not push us to where we do not want to go.)

Identify individual spiritual goals. Contact for contacts sake is not what the benevolent ETs are interested in promoting. They offer a valuable experience to bolster your own evolutionary process (as you do for them in return), so take the time to have each member of your group state a specific spiritual goal that interests them, then create a more general group goal. This will help members of the group to focus once communications have been established.

For example, some contact groups may have a majority of members who are interested in the healing arts, thus you may focus the group intention on calling in an ET group who can offer helpful information in this field.

Whether working to assist the environment, developing your intuitive skills, interspecies communications, understanding the nature of higher dimensional planes, etc. ­ identify one or several group interests that the ET communications can support. This structure may grow and evolve naturally as the contact group and ET group get to know each other.

Finally, decide together what ET groups everyone is comfortable inviting in for open communications. Create a list of who you would like to work with and do some research about what the different ET groups offer in the way of their strengths and areas of expertise. (The ET Typology listed on this site is a good starting point for this sort of information)

Remember that creating a safe and stable environment for all members of your contact group creates the foundation for fulfilling and long term interactions.

However, remain open to the idea that an ET group not on your list may ask to communicate. It will be the choice of the individual(s) who receives the request if he/she accepts (depending upon how their energy feels - loving and safe or fear generating) and then later the group can decide whether to invite future dialogue.

The Meeting Place/ What You Will Need to Bring

Chose a QUIET meeting place. An outdoor and indoor option is preferable so that the weather can be taken into account. If you are within a city and cannot escape traffic, lights and people, you may decide to meet indoors regularly for telepathic exchanges, and then schedule a trip to the country for a camping trip with the group whenever possible.

The optimal condition is to be in a peaceful rural setting outdoors, up on a mountain or out on an open plain with few remnants of civilization in sight. But even the basement of an office building will do if nothing better is available. Telepathic communications can take place anywhere ­ location, time and space are not factors, only a quiet and safe space in which to concentrate.

Most contact groups meet at night, but it is just as acceptable to meet during the day if peoples schedules permit.

If you meet in nature you will need outdoor chairs that are comfortable, accessible and easy to carry. Also bring flashlights and water or something to drink.

Dress comfortably in loose fitting clothes and make sure you have enough clothes and blankets to keep warm. It is hard to concentrate when your body is not comfortable and many people get cool while sitting in meditation for any length of time.

Have a CD player available and bring gentle, meditative music for the Group Contact Meditation. (The Monroe Institute sells Metamusic and Hemisync Music - listen below Media Player - which is music specifically designed to promote the brain wave patterns of a deep meditation ­ these are excellent for this purpose but any non-verbal, quiet music will do well.)

Have a member of your group bring an inexpensive digital camera. Take plenty of pictures around the group especially after the Group Contact Meditation. Expensive digital cameras have special infra red and ultra violet filters, but the cheap ones do not carry such extras.

Many phenomena, including the orbs which so many people are now taking note of can only be captured in the infra red and ultra violet spectrum. Sometimes even ships, probes or beings come up on pictures that no one noticed at the time (they were out of our spectrum of vision), but the camera caught the phenomena.

Optional Equipment: Crystal Bowl(s), Candles, Larger Group Crystal, Personal Crystals, Dowsing Rods

Worth Special Attention

Pay attention to cloud formations in the sky.

Some ships travel in a higher frequency state which approximates the density of our clouds. These clouds can look like near perfect saucer shapes and are fantastic to see. Such ships have been caught on film morphing from a cloud state into a more solid, physical state.

Pay attention for a triangulation pattern of the stars in the night sky.

Often in your contact group you will establish great communications with the ETs but not see their ships. When ships are not visible take special notice of the stars above the group. Sometimes the stars will look as if they have been rearranged into a pattern of perfect triangles twinkling in all directions. It is as if the ETs are playing with cosmic geometry just to validate the efforts of the group with a beautiful display. This effect in the sky can hold stationary and then suddenly disappear, bringing the stars back to the visual state we consider normal.

Pay attention to animal sounds in the night and odd animal appearances.

ET can communicate with a group in many ways, including sending animal messengers. They too are helping us to perceive nature as part of our greater reality and the animal kingdom provides another dynamic communication network to tap into. If your group is outside, take note of animal calls that take place during an important message being received from the ETs or monitor your emotional state. The screech of an owl can be a message to pay attention in some way.

If you suddenly feel a pressure in your ears (same as you feel when you ascend or descend in a plane) during a contact meditation, this informs you that a ship is near by or that one has even settled above your group with an energy field.

Higher frequency ships are not visible to the naked eye, but are sometimes visible to clairvoyants or those who know how to use their spiritual eyes. With little practice, group members become more adept at feeling and sensing what is around them when their eyes do not reveal the full story.

And it should be noted that this is an important aspect of contact - development of the intuitive senses.

Initiating Contact Protocol

Position the group in a circle formation. This creates a harmonized flow of energy through and around the group. It also allows all directions of the sky to be visible if the group meets outdoors. (Optional ­ place a candle or a crystal in the center of the circle.)

Clear the space and have everyone center their attention by toning, chanting or have someone play a crystal bowl for a few minutes.

In each meeting one person from the group will be designated to lead the Contact Meditation. It is best if everyone takes a turn at this position to promote equality and participation at all levels. At this point the leader for this meeting will begin to play the meditation music and everyone will prepare themselves to sit quietly for the next 30-60 minutes.

The designated person will now have everyone close their eyes and envision a golden white bubble of light around themselves. This personal energy bubble will be created with the intention of only allowing in those energies which are in alignment with the individual¹s highest good. Then the leader will guide the group to create a much larger bubble which can encompass the entire group and which once again will only allow in those energies which serve the divine will.

Next the leader will talk the group through 10 minutes of breathing exercises (as listed in the 'General Tools and Practices for Preparing for Contact' section).

With everyone now grounded and centered, the leader will ask the group to open their heart centers and to envision a golden light of loving energy flowing freely into their bodies, and then all around them to fill their personal bubbles.

Then have the group unite the energy of their hearts and send this healing light around the planet to enfold all of humanity in grace and peace. Use this same energy then to create a wave into space, reaching out in the spirit of brotherhood to connect with those ET civilizations the group chooses to invite in for communications.

The leader will state the group¹s spiritual goal(s) and ask for those ETs who can best assist these goals to communicate. Continue to guide the energies beyond time and space, from form into the formless. The designated group leader will learn to open herself/himself to the spontaneous influences of the moment, and to create the meditation with whatever imagery and information or guidance feels right.

To complete this phase, the leader will tell everyone to open themselves to connect with whatever ET being or group feels appropriate, and that they will be free to their own experience for the next 30 minutes (45 or 60 or whatever approximate time period) and that the leader will gently call them back and ask them to complete communications at the end of this period.

After a given period of time passes or it feels like everyone is complete, the leader will softly let everyone know to take a few more minutes to finalize any interactions. Then the leader will ask everyone to return to their bodies, taking a deep breath and opening their eyes. It is often appropriate to then sit in silence for 5-15 minutes, enjoying the lingering energies and allowing people to digest their individual experiences. It is also the appropriate time to pay attention to the sky for any aerial or unusual activity.

After this quiet period, everyone should be invited to share any appropriate experience, message or communication that they received. This is also a very good time to take some pictures with a cheap digital camera around the group to capture any ultra violet and infra red spectrum activity.

After everyone is done sharing their experiences, if the group is outdoors it is lovely to continue to sit and star gaze. Patience can sometimes yield rewards. Otherwise, decide on the next meeting time and new group meditation leader before everyone departs.

[kvibestudios]

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Join New York's thriving film community and find your next opportunity at https://www.kvibe.com.

[wyrmhaven]

Session #18

July 5th, 2023

White reports to an unknown entity about his time at Wyrm Academy He mentions the ongoing preparations, and expresses his concern that the entity in the shadows hasn't made any recent moves He comments about the necessity of secrets, and asks if the entity has any questions The entity does not, and tells White that he's free to go Meanwhile, the Angels have a discussion amongst themselves Angelika is fuming that Zoey chose to perform with Carmilla and Doya instead of them They agree that Zoey cannot win They decide to enlist Chadriz's help, and Angelique goes to speak with him The following day, our group play MASH with Larksann and Quentillius Antiphiun Melentor III Carmilla and Zoey get bad results, Quentillius and White get decent results, Larksann gets great results Doya asks what social clique Quentillius is part of Quentillius assures her that he's a social chameleon, and can play whatever role he needs to Zoey goes to sit with the angels as class begins Later that day, White goes to the Firejolt Cafe to get some coffee He is approached by Nicollin, who asks to speak to him Nicollin is unsure what to order White suggests tea, and orders extra coffee for himself Nicollin tells White that he's noticed how people speak to White voluntarily, and asks why White asks if they can speak in private Elina doubles on that request to get Nicollin away from the main counter Nicollin and White go sit in a booth Nicollin asks what White's secret is White explains that he's less social than he looks, but he makes a point to get to know people Nicollin admits that he's already asked Carmilla for help about socializing, but didn't get many results He mentions that he's making an effort to listen to people more, but nothing has improved He wants to change how he interacts with people He asks White what would happen if he were to talk about minute details about Mage Tower White explains that he would try to steer the conversation he is interested in, and if not likely leave Nicollin asks how to find a subject people would like White suggests asking them, or discussing things that people broadly like Nicollin wonders what to do if wants to talk about something no one cares about White suggests that he be a writer, and that the Wyrm Watcher has open position Nicollin comments that he was playing coy about his drink order, thanks White, and leaves Carmilla is approached by a student who gives her a signed picture of Angel d'Amour That night, Carmilla sneaks out, and goes to speak to the people that Ramon recommend They give her information about a job, and tell her that Don will be happy She tries to break into a store, but gets spotted by a canary and then a bystander as she leaves She hides, and sees the store's owner argue with the bystander The guards are called and arrest the bystander She returns to her employers, who tell her that she won't get to speak to the Don and that she now owes them 100GP Carmilla is more miserable than usual the next few days Aurora notices, and asks what's happening Carmilla states that she messed up in a major way When pressed, she explains the situation She asks what to do Aurora doesn't know She asks if Carmilla's tried Rin's blood She adds that that she did, and that it tasted weird The two discuss how to drink Rin's blood, and how Zoey might react to Carmilla drinking someone else's blood The two agree to get Nicollin and finally talk to the nurses Aurora asks why Carmilla hangs out with him so much Carmilla explains that she finds him funny They find him, and head to the nurse's office

Carmilla offers the two friendship bracelets as they walk They find Nurse DeSantis Carmilla delivers a prepared statement about their situation The Nurse asks about how much it hurts Nicollin is difficult about that The Nurse explains that she can't do much to help, but can offer some pain medication She also gives them forms that she can present to Archjusticar Yasha about adding some exceptions to the ward for them She writes down the name of a magic item that could help, but her handwriting is illegible Meanwhile, Rin notices that Ethel seems extra irritable He sees her trying to set up some pranks, but failing He spots Chadriz and his friends trying to shove her into a lock He intervenes and tells them to stop They say no Rin asks if Chadriz is too weak to take him on Chadriz asks if he's going to just tattle to Nadia again He asks why Rin cares, and if Ethel is Rin's friend Ethel says no Rin says yes Chadriz asks how someone like him got into the school Rin counters that he doesn't know how someone with Chadriz's lack of talent got in Chadriz decides to fall back, but assures Rin that next time he sees Rin, Rin is dead Rin helps Ethel out of the locker Ethel asks why he helped her He assures her that he couldn't let them treat her like that Ethel storms off Rin follows Ethel asks why he's following Rin explains that he wants to help her Ethel points out that associating with her will put a target on both of them Rin counters that they'll get bullied either way He explains that growing up with his siblings taught him how to stand up for himself Ethel asks about his ice magic, and if he's used it against Chadriz She explains that she has a plan for a prank against Chadriz, but she needs help and Vladimir was unwilling to help her The two scheme their revenge against Chadriz as Rin escorts Ethel to her room He finds out that Prism is her roommate Prism wants in on the prank The next day, they meet up outside the boy's locker room Rin sneaks in, and waits for Chadriz to be alone in the showers He signals Ethel to come in, and freezes the water As Chadriz reacts, Ethel yells at him and casts Darkness on him The two laugh as Chadriz slips and slides in the darkness The continue to laugh as their flee Ethel asks how Rin casted the spell silently Rin admits that he's actually a sorcerer, and asks her to keep it a secret Ethel asks how much he's willing to pay to keep his secret Rin wets her pants instead She wets his pants in return She agrees to keep his secret and train him as a sorcerer if he helps her prank people He agrees Meanwhile, the Angels talk to Zoey They ask about her performance and what she had planned Zoey admits that she didn't have an outfit planned The Angels allow her to use some of their old clothes for the performance Zoey accepts, thanks them, and goes to show Carmilla and Doya Carmilla refuses the offer Doya has conflicting feelings but accepts Anji's outfit The three agree to coordinate around Zoey's outfit from them The day of the festival comes, and our group go towards the Rose Theater along with Dawn They discuss what Dawn and White have planed The two keep their secrets They enter the packed theater, and find seats near Pain's group Professor Totsky speaks up, introduces herself and the show, and asks that the students get ready She introduces the judges for the show: Herself, Professor Auron, a dwarven Lorehold professor named Ghostforge, and an elven Prismari professor named Cecil Rin explains to our group that Cecil was also a friend of his brother Professor Totsky concludes her speech, and the show begins! There a lot of various acts, some good and some bad As Missing Peace get ready, Zoey notices Larksann wandering off She approaches, and asks what's wrong Larksann explains that she's nervous about the audience Zoey asks that she not look at the audience , but her instruments and the band She assures Larksann that the audience will be barely visible, and it'll be like she's just at practice Larksann thanks her, and goes to rejoin Missing Peace

Missing Peace is up next, and they performs a song written by Larksann Greta performs a bunch of weightlifting, ending with lifting Rampart in full armor Cad does some standup, and makes jokes about a wife Urzmaktok does a dance of his people with illusory orcs while scantily clad Larine does a water dance routine in a pool that is conjured for her Javenesh and Jooli perform a fake fight scene where Javenesh breaks various objects Rosimy and the LARP club do a physical comedy adventure Drazhomir reads a moving poem Rubina, Shuvadri, and Tilana perform an acapella song Egao and Haru perform a Yumikuni song with traditional instruments and fans Dawn and White go next White explains that they will be painting something, and encourages the audience to guess what they're making Dawn creates a massive three-dimensional canvas The two paint a massive golden creature, which is revealed to be a sphinx! Sunny performs a song with a spectral band He thanks his family as he leaves Carmilla panics at the thought of his family being there Nicollin delivers a monologue that puts most people to sleep Quentillius puts on a one-man play Carmilla, Doya, and Zoey go behind stage to prepare Zoey asks if Carmilla needs blood Carmilla assures her that she does not They are interrupted by the Angels, who wish Zoey the best As the three go on stage, Anji kisses Doya Doya walks on stage with her halo floating and her wings out Carmilla sees Sunny's parents, and panics more Zoey introduces the group to the audience as the Rainbow Rebels The three begin to perform a song! Rin and White spot Chadriz in the rafters above Doya He casts Catapult and flings one of Doya's energy drinks at him Chadriz and the drink and knocked over and fall elsewhere in the rafters The Rebels finish their performance, and go backstage They return to their seats as the Angels being their performance The performance has three parts; a song for each Angel Anji's part features all three songs with twintails and puffy skirts, purple lightning, and vines that lift Anji above the audience Angelique's part features the three in suits, Angelique singing as the other two follow her around, and Angelique acting romantic to the other two as she sings Angelika's part features the three in tap dance shoes, and a music number that features Angelika opening her wings Doya gets a perfect picture of Angelika They get a standing ovation as the performance ends Doya stops the Angels as they return to their seats Angelika tells her that she's welcome for the picture Doya tells Anji that she should be cheer captain Doya tells Angelique that she… had a nice song As the girls return to their seats, the Losers and the tiefling twins hand out the tomato bags White gives his to Chadriz, who gladly accepts it Pain walks on stage with his team, and introduces his team as Violent Tendencies He explains that he's going to play a song about how all the bad things add up He begins to sing a very suggestive song while occasionally looking at Doya Professors Auron and Ghostforge get up to try to stop the show Carmilla sends Nandor to invisibly distract one of them Doya convinces Maxwell to give her chicken feed to put on the ground to make them trip She then sics Nicollin on one of them Puff investigates the pyrotechnics, catches on fire, and explodes Vladimir casts Wall of Force to protect them from the professors As all the chaos ensues, some of the props back stage shamble forward, animated by black ooze The crowd begins to panic! Some of the students go to stop some of them, as our group goes to stop some others: An otyugh, an owlbear, and a slaad! FIGHT!

[monotonous-minutia]

Angelika Kirchschlager as Nicklausse: Hair Appreciation Post

(courtesy of the hearty breeze accompanying a performance of Les contes d’Hoffmann one summer night at the Chorégies d'Orange, 2000)

[hellfilled]

‘         don’t         be         mad          at           me,           the           options         are           limited.         ’           small      frame      moving       down        the        steps       with        ease        as         they       opened        up         to        brightly        lit          kitchen.         he       looked        so         out        of        place         in         her         home.           a         mere       silhouette         against       vibrant         colors.                          still          the        sight          of        him         standing            there,         looking         through          one         of       her      books          left         her          with          a            warm             feeling.         ‘     i        want          to          clarify,        i          own          very          little         black.       these         are         all          i         have         that         will         fit.        ’        @maskforged

[immortalfear]

‘              please     stop    staring,           ’         the      gift      she     possessed      held       no       benefits,       either       it       was       a        mechanism       to        keep       away       the       mortal,      striking      fear      for      she       appeared       A       MONSTER       to      them,       or       attracted       the        immortal.        features       beyond      perfection,        an       demon       disguised      as      an        angel.      the       fact       that      the      girl      wasn’t       running       away      simply      proved      how      her      gifts      truly       mesmerized.        ‘             you       and      i     look      exactly      the     same.                     surely      i     am      not      the      most      beautiful      person      you      have     seen,      lest       you       refrain       from       looking       in      the      mirror.         ’              @deathfound      liked     for     a      starter    !

[whoreforbuckley]

headcanon #30: halloween with buck would include

spooky week day 3

requested: no

rating: PG

warnings: a little bit of dad!buck because i can’t resist

taglist: @mrspeacem1nusone @shiftingwh0r3 @1234-angelika @one-sweet-gubler @multifandomlesbianic

MASTERLIST || send in requests!!

click here to be added to the taglist

you can find the spooky season schedule here

Buck would always dress up

He’d dress up as almost anything, from vampires to even a firefighter by using his gear

Once you and him had kids, you’d all dress up as a family

One year, he dressed up as Sully from Monster’s Inc to match you as Mike and your daughter as Boo

Or your son as Randall

Buck taking the kid, or kids, out trick or treating every year with you

You falling more and more in love with him as he helped your kid or kids out

Sometimes Eddie would come over so Christopher can go trick or treating with you and Buck’s child, or children

The lot of you in a group walking the streets of suburban Los Angeles in search for houses with candy

Once the kiddies are all in bed (for a Halloween night sleepover), you and Buck (and sometimes Eddie) would sit together and drink and watch scary movies

You curled up against Buck because you’re scared

“It’s just a movie.”

“Shut up.”

At the firehouse, he’d interact with all the kids that came to the firehouse for Halloween

You’d watch from afar as he interacted and conversed with the kids

He’d compliment their costumes, give them all the candy that they ask for, and some of the kids would say how much they want to be a firefighter when they grow up

A smile on Buck’s face as he gives out candy

At home, you’d end up on the couch watching a scary movie or playing a scary video game

You would be curled up against Buck, his hand holding yours, almost protecting you

Every jump scare making you almost scream

Buck pulling you closer to him every time you get scared

You practically ending up on Buck’s lap because you’re terrified of whatever movie your watching or game you’re playing

You and Buck would also dress up in couples-themed outfits because you both love Halloween

Bonnie and Clyde, angel and devil, cop and robber. The costume ideas were endless

You’d both show up to a costume party, showing up everyone else because you both went all out

Always spending Halloween together because it’s your favorite holiday of the year

[vroomvroommuppett]

𝚊𝚕𝚝? 𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝚝𝚠𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚢

𝚜𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝚖𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝 | 𝚝𝚊𝚐 𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝

feel free to send asks or reblog if you wanna talk about it :)

also this is the last chapter! thank you to everyone who read and interacted with it! i will also be writing for timmy chalamalabingbong now as well, so start requesting for him!

also send asks about the andrew x barry x yn au!!

andrewgarfield My two loves. @yn.garfield

12,281,988 likes

100,188 comments

yn.garfield we love you

fan.2 MY HEART

zendaya they’re beautiful. i want one.

yn.garfield @tomholland2013 👀

tomholland2013 YN MN GARFIELD

andrewgarfield I mean she’s not wrong…

tomholland2013 Oh piss off you two

tag list (send an ask if you want to be added or removed)

@peakyrogers @cutierocker202 @1234-angelika @druigsgold @casi-eternal @bqnner @keoghanslover @omgeternal @fangirling-4-ever @ftrmrs-barry-keoghan

[buckstaposition]

I cling to your lips like gloss (3)

a Javier Peña x OFC story

also on AO3

author: @youhavereachedtheendofpie  👋

tags&warnings: spoilers for season 3, wonky timelines & odd pacing, drinking, swearing, mentions of sex work, mentions of canon-typical violence, Miss Salome is back!, some mild domesticity, partial nudity, a lil’ bit of sexual & romantic tension, soft&protective!Javi today tomorrow and forever

words: 8906 🙃🤡🙃🤡

summary: “The United States government is buying you a dress because you being at that party is of strategic importance to this investigation.”

Author’s note: Thank you SO SO much everyone who read, reblogged, and commented! It means so much to me and I want you to know that I read those comments and reviews at least every other day 

Also this chapter was originally going to feature more as I was planning to move into the actual plot of the season, but then it just got longer and longer and I wanted to keep it under 10k words so that has all been moved to the beginning of ch4 instead. Anyway, remember it’s okay to take breaks in between, stay hydrated, and enjoy!

—

Tag list: @keeper0fthestars @opheliaelysia @dindjarindiaries @fromthedeskoftheraven @shikin83​ @cinewhore​ @maddoggrahaml​

(message me if you want to be added to the list)

beautiful moodboard made by @huliabitch​ 

Masterlist

Prologue • Chapter 1 - The Informant • Chapter 2 - A Wedding and Four Funerals

Chapter 3 - Swallow Pride and Anger

He made a habit of checking in with Miss Rivas regularly, usually on Wednesday evenings. It was late enough in the week for her to have gathered something to tell him, and for him to need interactions beyond dealing with pissy bureaucrats and the chorus of 'yes boss'es from his agents. That and he made the conscious choice to never bother her on Thursdays, seeing as how often she'd come back from a work day in the double digits, only to rise again with the sun on Friday mornings for her frequent trips back to Medellín. 

On this Wednesday, his self-imposed cigarette embargo inside his office combined with a slow and frustrating day had led him to go back to his apartment at an uncharacteristically early hour. He threw his jacket, wallet and keys down on the table, then loosened his tie and grabbed a beer from his fridge. He took a slow pull from the bottle, allowing himself to slump a bit against the kitchen counter. This apartment, while never what he would call a home, was still a sanctuary of sorts, even if most days he only came here to sleep and change clothes. He finished about half the bottle before clicking the bent cap back on haphazardly and placing it back in the fridge. He checked his watch and decided that a shower would, if not make him feel better, at least wash off the stale dryness of the embassy complex's aircon. 

His hair still damp, he exited the bathroom about half an hour later. He padded across the floor barefoot, shuffling around the few rooms a bit, pulling on a clean t-shirt and preparing a small meal in the kitchen. He didn't have much except for the usual staples, chosen by how easy they were to prepare and by how effectively they would fill his stomach, rather than for any considerations of taste. The only thing he allowed himself to indulge in was the selection of fresh fruit he picked up at the street market down the road. By the time he'd gotten something in his stomach it was nearing seven. Javier reckoned she would be home by now and would have had enough time to settle in. He grabbed his fruit plate and trudged over to his wall-mounted landline phone. After placing the plate on the low side table, he dialled the satphone's number and waited for the line to connect. 

"Agent Peña, good evening!" The sound quality was much better than with those tinny phone cells. It allowed him to hear how pleased she sounded as she greeted him, and how slightly out of breath. 

"I hope I'm not disturbing you, Miss Rivas. I can call back later?" It occurred to him that she might be in the process of making dinner herself. 

"Oh no, it's alright!" He heard the shuffling of steps and the hum of music in the background. "Hang on, let me finish on the landline, then I'm all yours." She must have set the satphone down right next to her stereo system. He could hear music more clearly now, still distant like not all of it survived the transmission, but distinct enough to make out a string section paired with electric guitar and words in an unfamiliar language. 

"Interesting music selection." He mused as she came back on the line.

"Huh? Oh yes, Angelika let me borrow some of her tapes. Newly historical contraband from behind the Iron Curtain." She laughed quietly, and Javier thought of how for some of his former CIA colleagues, that might have been reason enough to drag her in for an interrogation. He sneered at the notion, glad it was no longer relevant. "Not that I understand anything, but that's why music is called the universal language, I suppose."

"Your German friend." Javier hummed thoughtfully. He'd had to look up what that Stasi remark meant, embarassingly enough. Despite the added information included, he'd been made to change it to 'Calí KBG' in his preliminary report on the matter. 

"Yes. I'm sorry I couldn't convince her to help more. It's half the way she was brought up and half fear. I guess the thought of going up against a powerful drug cartel and helping the American government at the same time is just a bit too much. And with her and Julio now trying for a baby she just really doesn't want to risk it, you know?" 

"It's okay." Javier said reflexively, allowing himself to sit on the floor by his phone, his back against the wall. Angelika Florez-something-long-and-German-with-lots-of-umlauts that he wasn't even going to attempt to pronounce worked at the Calí phone company and would have been an invaluable asset, but then again she'd already placed herself in danger by allowing Diana to relay what she knew. Javier wasn't going to force anyone to become an informant. "Anything new on your end?" 

"New corner office." 

"Nice." 

"Oh, very."  He heard more soft rustling over the line, as if she was moving around, and then some light clicking noises that might have been a large window or door being opened. "Miguel Rodríguez did stop by yesterday. Unannounced, of course. Cut into my lunch break." 

Javier straightened, the hand with a piece of orange sinking back down from his lips. "Oh? What did he want?" Unfortunately it was nothing he could be nailed down for. The Rodríguez brothers did own that bank and had every right to be there, every once in a while. 

"Wanted to talk about the tax evasion scheme I devised. I swear, there's nothing rich people hate more than paying their taxes!" Her huff made him laugh softly, despite everything. "Nothing of substance to report, sadly."

"We'll get them." Javier promised. "With your help, they'll go down like a bag of rocks in water."

She hummed, tapping her nails against the phone casing absently. He could hear the light click of it over the line. Javier let himself enjoy the reprieve this unassuming silence offered.

"I've been wondering," she started again after a moment, pensive, "how you met Gabriela. Was it when she was still at the brothel or after?" 

Actually screw reprieve. Javier felt like all his blood was now rushing to his ears and neck. "Umm..." he said, eloquently. "W-why d'you want to know?" And hadn't the other woman told her that detail, since they apparently shared everything? He had made it until now in forcibly not dwelling on what exactly this 'everything' would entail. 

"Sorry no, that came out wrong. I was just wondering if she'd ever been in any way involved in your... work. I'm sorry, this isn't... I just- I worry."  

Javier exhaled slowly, thinking back on the night he'd chanced upon the stunning redhead at a bar. He hadn't planned on it becoming a regular thing, and then before he knew it, the sporadic nights he spent with her were the only thing removed from the stress of his job. "No, never." 

"Dammit." 

That was... not what he'd expected. He frowned a moment before it dawned on him. 

"You're worried that by involving her when Maritza asked you for help you put her in danger."

"...Yes." She sounded glum now, not pleased and at ease enough to attempt to joke with him like before. He hated it. 

"Hey, it's alright. Nothing happened to her." At least to her. At least one person had come out of that nightmare mostly unscathed. It was something to be grateful for. "They're gone now. Escobar and his men are gone. She's safe." 

"Thank you, Agent Peña. I just-" Her voice sounded so small, suddenly. He frowned, plate of fruit long forgotten. "I couldn't bear it if I lost her, too. And while I didn't live in Medellín for all of it I ...you hear things." 

Unbidden, his mind flashed to the brothel on 23rd street in Envigado, all the women executed, La Quica putting bullets through their brains because one of them had been brave enough to call the Search Bloc and DEA on him. He thought of Helena. He thought of the dozens more who had the violence in their lives compounded tenfold because they'd dared to defy the narcos' terror. And often enough, through him. Sometimes the guilt ate Javier alive. 

"Hang on a moment." He said, already heaving himself up and striding over to the kitchen, grabbing his unfinished beer from the fridge, then doubling back over to the bar and grabbing a glass and a bottle of whiskey. Mixing the two was probably not a good idea. As much as drinking in general. He didn't care right now. Javier tried to be a better man than he had been, but there were times when he slipped. 

He poured himself a glass of the liquor as he sat back down and snatched the phone receiver back up from where it swung against the wall. 

"I'm back." He announced simply and took a swig. 

"I shouldn't have brought it up." She sighed long and drawn. "I'm sorry for... I suppose I just wanted to make myself feel better. That if something had happened to Gabi it wouldn't have been my fault, too. I didn't think- I cannot begin to imagine, Agent Peña-" 

"It's alright." Javier said, reflexively. The beer bottle was just one generous sip away from being empty now. His fingers played with the rim of it absently as he stretched his legs out in front of him, the tumbler of whiskey at his side. 

"It's not alright." Miss Rivas insisted, sounding even more distraught. He hated that, too. 

"Maybe. Maybe not. It is what it is." He scrubbed a palm over his face, rubbing at his burning eyes. The alcohol was beginning to swirl through his bloodstream. It helped, he supposed, that there was a sort of artificial distance through the telephone line. Otherwise the next words would likely never have left his lips. 

"Can I tell you something?" Javier Peña wasn't a religious man, but there were times when he saw the sense of a confessional. 

"Of course." Her voice was just the slightest bit shaky. "Should I get myself a drink, too?"

"If you want." He threw back the last bit of beer, following it up immediately with a gulp of whiskey, then pressed the still cold bottle against his flushed neck. He hesitated a moment, listening intently to the shuffling and rustling on the other end of the line. He felt his shoulders tighten and draw up, let his head fall back against the wall with a soft 'thud', his fingertips tracing the rim of the glass until he heard her soft affirmative. 

This was not a time to let shame hinder him. Hell, the fact that he paid women for sex was the first thing she ever knew about him. 

"You should know that I have a kind of... reputation." Javier began slowly. Like she didn't know that already. Like she couldn't guess. Like maybe this illusion where he could make this a confession instead of a confirmation was somehow more dignified. 

He'd gotten the idea a few months into coming down here. Or rather the idea had found him in the shape of a lovely, doe-eyed brunette who'd introduced herself as 'Aurélia'. And Javier had been hungry and lonely, his shame at his ruined wedding fresh and the frustration of running after leads into empty corners even fresher. And he doesn't even remember how he ended up inside her room, and while under no illusion that what was about to transpire was merely a business deal, a service rendered and compensated for, he'd found himself talking. Javier wasn't a talker, but she'd been so sweet in the way she carded her slender fingers through his hair and let him ramble on, probably wasting her time. 

"That's who you're here for?" Javier remembered still, with such distinct clarity, how her fingers had stuttered against his scalp. Javier had lifted his far-too-heavy head from her comfortable bosom and peered up at her, wondering whether disclosing all this had been a mistake. What kind of idiot walks into a brothel in Medellín half drunk and says he's a cop looking to take down Pablo fucking Escobar plus associates? 

"They come here sometimes. Those sicarios I mean." Aurélia had said, resuming her caresses. Sweet girl. Sweet, sad girl who kissed so softly. 

"Oh yeah?" Just his luck. "Not tonight though, hopefully." Suddenly he wasn't quite as drunk or tired anymore. 

"Not tonight, no. At least not that I know of. Anyway, it's not- I shouldn't tell you this." She'd tilted his head up and pressed a lingering kiss to his lips. That girl could kiss like she was in love with you. 

That was that. Four days later he'd come back, with a proposal wrung from his superiors. Any information that could lead to the capture of one of the Cartel's sicarios for a generous chunk of solid American cash. 

"Aurélia?" Miss Rivas asked in a voice as if she was running calculations. "With curls or with a birthmark?"

"Umm, birthmark." A mole on her left cheek, just under the eye, like a rococo lady in every period piece about the French, except real. 

"Oh! Catalina Vasquez!" 

"You know her?" Of course she knew her. Apparently Medellín was actually a damn village and not a city of millions. 

"Yeah, the family lived just down the street growing up. I used to babysit them sometimes, her and her younger sisters." 

Javier hummed, unsure of how to reply. He pinned the receiver between his head and shoulder and shoved the freed hand up under the collar of his shirt to rub at the tension in the back of his neck. 

"Sorry for interrupting, do go on." 

It had taken some convincing. A whole lot of planning, too. But by the end of it he had one of Gacha's sicarios in custody. A large, brutish man who'd nicknamed himself 'Cobra'. Low-level and not especially bright, as it turned out, but not completely worthless. Javier had gone back to the brothel that night to give Aurélia her reward, and then he'd come back again the night after, when the high of success had worn off and he'd craved being kissed again like it meant something. Only, she'd been gone. Left without a trace, her erstwhile colleagues unwilling to divulge the whats and wheres and whys. Frustrated and anxious and in no small part betrayed, he'd drowned himself in a willing bottle blonde who could do extremely interesting things with her mouth. And that was that, the start of a career and a reputation. Not that he ever expected to be 'serviced' when he was there in a professional capacity. But when they offered, he found himself too weak to refuse. And they almost always offered. For whatever reason. 

Professional pride perhaps.  

"What happened to her?" It had been years but he had to ask, just on the off chance. 

"She took your money and cut loose, moved to the coast and got a job at a baker's. Last thing I heard she was married and had another baby on the way." 

"Good. That's ...good." He'd wondered, all these years... "Thank you."

"I didn't do anything." 

"For listening. For letting me ...unload." For lifting a bit of guilt and uncertainty off of me. "Just... you don't have  to do that. So thank you."

A short rustling, the squeak and groan of a chair, then: "I will listen to whatever you want to tell me, Agent Peña." 

Javier released a sigh, deep and weary, and set aside his glass and the bottle that was significantly lighter than it had been. His mind was somewhere in that soupy stage now, floating aimlessly on some sort of thick fog. It dulled the creeping pain in his back that told him he was too old to be sitting on the floor now. He mumbled something indistinct, rubbed his eyes and shook his head in an attempt to clear the haze. 

"Well, in any case, now you know." He'd only need to tell her about Lorraine, Helena, and Carillo, and he'd have shared all of his major sins. Huh.

"What are you asking for?" 

Absolution. "A verdict?" 

"I have no intention of judging you, Agent Peña. Not for this. You acquainted yourself with all the working girls in Bogotá and Medellín, and I married a man I did not love and stayed with him for years." 

"That's hardly the same." 

"Isn't it?" Her voice was soft and rueful, brimming with words not ready to be spoken quite yet. He sensed it, and agreed, and therefore decided that it was time to cut this heart-to-heart off here for both their sakes. 

"Hell, I don't know. Maybe, in a way." He was way too drunk for this. He shouldn't have drunk this much. Where had his threshold gone? It's like he'd spent years tempering his liver for nothing. 

"Well then, I'll let you know whether or not it'll be worth for you to come down to Medellín next weekend. Sleep well. And drink some water before then." 

Javier glanced at the clock mounted on the oppsite wall. When the hell had it gotten this late? No wonder his ass was numb and his back was killing him. There was a moment when the strangest words were just hanging on to the tip of his tongue, ready to plummet off. That it would always be worth it to see her. Even just to take a turn about a park with her and the kid. Javier swallowed thickly. Gathered his professionalism and detachment. 

"Until then, Miss Rivas. Good night." --- --- --- The phone rings insistently in a way that tells him it's been at it a while. Javier sighed while sliding the glass door of his office shut behind him. He hadn't planned on being all but ambushed by one of Stechner's CIA stooges under the guise of 'inter-agency liasing', and that was after getting caught up with a lenghty presentation one of his newly transferred agents had prepared for him. Feistl, he'd said his name was. The presentation was full of good ideas, too, just too involved. Javier had told the guy as much. If you can get your point across with ten words there's no point using fifty. 

Javier picked up the receiver, one hand rubbing at the dull throbbing that was just starting to build in his temple. 

"Peña."

"You're still at your office? It's past eight, you should go home." He smiles despite himself, and the chiding tone. 

"Got delayed." He offered by way of an explanation. She harrumphed softly. 

"Not that I'm not delighted to hear from you, but what's the occasion?" She rarely called him, he usually called her. She certainly didn't call on Thursday nights because when she wasn't preparing to drive up to Medellín she was usually exhausted enough at this point in the week to turn in early. 

"I hope you're sitting down." 

Javier perched himself on the edge of his desk where it wasn't piled high with reports and mind-numbing paperwork awaiting his signature. "I am." 

"They're having a party and I've been invited. Friday next week. They'll all be there; Santacruz is apparently coming down from New York for it. The chief accountant, the money launderer, everyone. And their wives, or other-" 

Javier's foot slipped a bit where he'd foolishly leaned a significant percentage of his weight on it. He caught himself as the desk gave a loud groan, slipping a bit on the linoleum floor. He righted himself quickly, sitting more firmly on the edge of the desk. 

"What do you know?" 

"Apparently there's going to be some sort of important announcement, but no one knows what it is, not even Miguel. Gilberto called it. All I know is that all four of them will be there, as well as everyone important in the organization. And then some. Likely every politician and law enforcement official in their pocket. Other cartels, too, but I don't know who exactly-"

"Miss Rivas, stop." Javier said firmly. Her voice had gotten that rambling, frantic quality that wore thin its natural pleasant rasp. "That's plenty. This is..." he twisted around and fished for his desk calendar, grabbing the nearest pen to circle the day, "This is huge. It could even be just the break we need."

She was silent for a moment, only her long, deliberate breaths crackling over the line. "You think so?"

"I think regardless of what it is, if it's important enough for a gathering this big, then yes."

"I don't suppose you could raid the party and arrest them all just like that?" She mused. 

"Only in my dreams, Miss Rivas." He allowed himself a second to picture it: surroundig what was no doubt a very large and fancy property, riding in like the cavalry, the dumbstruck faces as the Gentlemen of Calí and their associates realized their luck had run out, clapping the handcuffs on them - he'd want to do it himself, hear the gratifying click of metal on metal that would wipe the self-satisfied smirks off their faces. 

The warrants for the Calí godfathers existed, that wasn't the problem. The problems started with finding the location, circumventing their no doubt expert security, getting the lot of them without anyone escaping... Then there was the trouble of getting a search warrant for the property, even if they did know the address, and it was going to be a whole lot more complicated if the guy who signed those warrants was at that party himself. Then there was the fact that for all the valuable intel Miss Rivas had provided already, it wasn't nearly enough to nail the godfathers beyond what their army of slippery attorneys could weasel them right back out of. What they really needed was for someone to talk. Someone who had been there for longer and knew the operations of the cartel more intimately than Miss Rivas ever could (or than he would want her to, if Javier was being honest). The mysterious money launderer perhaps, or the chief accountant. Either would be good, both would be better - then again, the immunity deals that usually came with these kinds of cooperations didn't sit too well with Javier. 

"Hell, I don't even have a plus one. Do I really have to go? I could pretend to be sick." She sighed and scoffed, and muttered something about not having anything to wear. 

"I think you know." And if these people didn't know his face (and would put a bullet through it on sight) he'd gladly offer to be her plus one, if only to keep her safe. He hated knowing she'd be all alone there, among the wolves. It didn't make what he still had to ask of her any easier.  

"Yes, I know. Miguel called me the 'third corner of their finance trifecta'." A bitter laugh, not that Javier needed that cue to know. He could tell from her voice alone how much she despised it. "In any case, now you know, so you can make whatever arrangements you need. I'll see you tomorrow?" Ah yes, about that. 

"I'm afraid I can't make lunch. Urgent meeting called by the ambassador." Urgent and useless, but when the new president and minister of justice wanted a briefing he had to oblige. "Sorry."

"That's alright. Dinner then? My aunt will be in the hospital overnight." 

"I'll see what I can do." There was just one more thing. "Miss Rivas?"

"Yes?"

"Would you be willing to wear a wire? To the party?" 

"Well, I was thinking a cocktail dress would be more appropriate-" 

Javier scoffed. "You know what I mean." He could picture her grin on the other end of the line, pleased at her little joke. 

"Yeah, yeah, I know. I suppose I might as well, seeing as I'm not getting out of this-" 

"Thank you."

"Best bring the necessary ...equipment with you. I need to go dress shopping this weekend." 

He promised that he would. He promised to call as soon as he knew when he'd be in Medellín. And he promised to go home for the day as soon as they said their good-byes.

He intended to do just that; he only needed to file away some things first. 

"Boss?" Another one of the new transfers poked his head in after knocking. Why was he still here at this hour? Javier struggled to recall his name. 

"Yeah, what is it, uh..." He did feel bad about it, too. A little bit at least. 

"Van Ness, sir." 

"What is it, Van Ness?" 

"Duffy just faxed this over." Van Ness leaned further into Javier's office, holding himself steady on the doorframe, and handed him the flimsy sheet of paper. "They've gotten a lead through Cornerstone." 

--- --- ---

Dinner instead turned into an apologetic phonecall during a meeting break and then a red eye flight out to Medellín. Then there's another meeting at the Search Bloc home base with Colombian National Police representatives and the only high point of it is that he briefly sees Hugo Jr who looks well. So by the time Javier finally starts out to Envigado it's lunchtime again. He makes it there just slightly after. 

He walked up to the small house, past the flowerbeds on the windowsills, and knocked on the door. That side of the house was south-facing and it was a hot, cloudless day that has him sweating in his suit in no time. He's just about to knock again, thinking perhaps the first time he'd been too soft to be heard so as not to disturb the aunt who must be resting after her overnight stay at the hospital, but then he hears the quick tap of feet and the door is yanked open by an out-of-breath Diana. "Hey." 

She was wearing a wide smile and cut-off denim shorts with a simple blue cotton blouse and her hair was loose and much longer than when they'd first met. It seemed like no time at all had passed since then when in reality it had been close to a year now. 

"Hi," Javier breathed, "Sorry for the delay." 

She waved it off. "Come on in, I saved you a plate." She turned and walked back the short and narrow hallway. Stop gawking at her legs.

"That's not necessary." He tried to deflect, toeing off his shoes near the door and loosening his tie and shirt collar, just the top button. 

"Nonsense, unless you've eaten?" She looked over her shoulder before turning into the small kitchen. 

"I haven't, no." Javier conceded, following behind. It wasn't exactly spacious, a round table squished to one wall with just enough space for three chairs. Little Salome sat at one, drawing with an array of colorful crayons. She acknowledged him silently before going back to her drawing and Javier sat down. 

"Coffee?" Diana asked over the hum of the microwave, already pulling two mugs from a cupboard. 

"Please." Javier stretched his legs out as far as he could without becoming a tripping hazard. "How's your aunt?" 

"Resting now. She's been better recently, but overall she's been declining so I don't know-" She gave a helpless shrug, then brought over the mugs, shortly followed by the steaming plate which she set in front of him. He'd learned a while ago that even the most minute resistance was futile anyway. Besides, he actually was really rather hungry. Catering wasn't a priority for the CNP. 

He waited until she sat down in the chair opposite to start eating. They talked quietly, not exactly smalltalk, but nothing too heavy either. It was strange sort of almost-domesticity if one looked over the fact that he was being snuck in like a teenage delinquent boyfriend whenever the aunt was out or asleep (which was fine by him as he had no desire to meet the woman whose only daughter he'd gotten killed). 

"So how does that whole wire situation work in real life?" Diana asked after she'd cleared away the dishes (and physically slapping his hand away when he moved to help). 

"Well it's... there's a literal wire, a microphone on one end, and a recording device on the other. And a battery." Javier began haltingly. 

"And it needs to be concealed under the clothes, obviously." 

"Obviously." 

"Hmm, I see. How big?" She sat back down again, brushing a hand through Salome's hair affectionately. "And how do I secure it under the dress? I need to know these things so I can pick out one that'll cover it all, you see." 

Javier nodded. "Did you want to leave soon? Because I was thinking it's probably easiest if I just came along." 

At this, she seemed surprised, but recovered quickly. "You sure?"

He sipped the last of his now tepid coffee and nodded again. "Yeah, let's go buy you a dress."

"There's no need to buy me a dress, Agent Peña." He recognized that tone by now, how testy she got at any allusion of charity. It was an ingrained reflex that he knew better than to be irked by. 

"The United States government is buying you a dress because you being at that party is of strategic importance to this investigation." He stood to put the empty mug in the sink before she could beat him to it, then returned to the table, standing behind the seat he'd previously occupied and gripping the back of it. "Besides, more of American taxpayer money is spent on worse things." Like Stechner's salary, he thought. She gave him a look that said they'd have more words on this, probably when they reached the checkout, then stood, saying she'd go say goodbye to her aunt. 

Javier nodded, watching her leave. A little noise caught his attention. Salome still didn't speak much, but she knew how to make herself known nonetheless. "What is it, Miss Salome?" Javier stooped to get closer to eye level with the kid. She looked up at him with her big brown eyes and held up a scrap of the paper she'd been drawing on. 

"Oh, what's this?" She shook the paper insistently in her tiny fist, an adorable frown creasing between her brows, as if miffed that he was being slow. And it's... he's gotten more relaxed around the little girl by now, but it still always lingers that he's part of the reason she's an orphan, and traumatised into a selective mutism that apparently even the average counselor or child psychiatrist doesn't quite know how to deal with to boot, that leaves him with a lingering apprehension that manifests in the kind of awkward hesitation that now has her scrambling off the chair and patting his leg as she holds the paper up for him to take. 

"Want me to take a look?" He bends and takes it gently. Is answered by a sort of long-suffering sigh. The scrap is barely the size of his palm, covered in colorful blobs of red and orange and yellow and blue, pink and green and purple swirls in between. 

"Very pretty." He decrees and attempts to hand it back just as Miss Rivas is poking her head back the room. 

"Can you please grab the car seat?" 

"Huh?" It's not very eloquent, but then again he's engaged in a game of impromptu reverse tug-of-war with a toddler. "She's coming with?" She's also pushing the paper back at him again, pouting. 

"Yes of course she is. The car seat? It's on the shelf behind you." There is no argument to be had with the women in this family, so he doesn't even attempt it, just straightens and looks for the car seat which is indeed in the described spot. "And that drawing is for you so just take it." 

"For me?" It's still clutched in his hand, and Salome is heaving a huff as if to say 'Duh. Idiot.' His throat feels tight all of a sudden. "Well, thank you very much." He makes a show of tucking it very carefully into the pocket of his suit jacket, then turns to retrieve the car seat. Together they make their way out. It takes a moment to set up the car seat in the back, another to wrestle the stroller into the trunk, but eventually they're on their way downtown.

--- --- ---

They have entered a world of ruffles. And sequins. For a moment Javier thinks he's having flashbacks to Lorraine's endless sessions discussing bridesmaid's dresses all those years ago. He exchanges a look with Miss Rivas, her expression stony and tense. 

"Alright, quick in and out. If at all possible, I want to be out of here again before Salome wakes up." Javier nodded, tightening his grip on the stroller handles. Salome had dozed off in the car on the drive over and was now out cold, not even stirring throughout the transferral from car seat to stroller. Javier eyed the sea of satins and gulped, then turned to the woman at his side. "What's your plan?" 

"I'm going to find a shop assistant." She narrowed her eyes, gaze flitting over the masses of racks. 

"Good plan." Javier mumbled. He had an inkling that they'd be here forever if they attempted to brave this ocean of dresses alone. 

"Right, you can..." she trailed off as her eyes fixed on a woman some feet away, her head just bobbing up from between two racks where she was rearranging some very bright red and very small garments, "...um, wait by the changing rooms?"

"It's fine." Javier replied, starting to push the stroller in that direction. If nothing else he figured he could function as a temporary clothing rack or something. On instinct, he scans the perimeter while Miss Rivas elucidates to the shop assistant what she is looking for and the younger woman, perhaps in her mid- to late twenties, snaps her fingers in triumph before announcing that she has 'just what you're looking for' and starts marching away. They follow her like ducklings from rack to rack, and a good ten minutes later they have an armful of cocktail dresses of varying lengths, cuts, and colors. It's the kind of brutal efficiency that even Search Bloc could only dream of, all in the petite shape of this eager retail employee with a side pony.

"Let me know if you need help." She chirps as she deftly deposits them in the changing room area before returning to her other tasks. 

It's an almost enclosed space, five curtained cabins in an open half-circle arrangement with a long-ish bench in the middle and some tall mirrors on the spaces between. He wheels the stroller beside the bench and sits a moment later, so that the both of them are facing the changing room where the shop assistant had hung up the dress selection. Shrugs off his suit jacket, then drapes it carefully over the sleeping child to block out the light and muffle the noise of shoppers. Miss Rivas looked at him expectantly, one hand on the curtain that was half drawn. 

"What?" 

"You're gonna have to show me how to put on the wire thingy." She jerked her head towards the changing room. Javier gulped, the implication dawning on him. Looked at the stroller helplessly. There was nothing but an effectively timed baby snore and a twitch of one little ladybug-socked foot. 

"Come on, the sooner we get this over with the sooner we can leave." As previously stated, there is no arguing with the women of this family, especially when they're right, so he resigns himself, dives for the case that holds the machinery, and stands. Miss Rivas stepped aside, drawing up the curtain after a furtive glance around. "We're both adults." 

"Yeah." Javier agreed, his throat tight. At least these cabins were decently sized or they'd be squished in there like sardines in a can. 

Javier turned away to give her some privacy, fiddling with the wire instead, pretending it had gotten more tangled than it was. At her soft confirmation that she's ready he turns around, making a conscious effort not to look... anywhere really. At least she'd only chucked her top; the shorts are still on. 

"Agent Peña, I would assume that you have seen women in their underwear before." She sounded amused, and clearly more relaxed about this than he could ever pretend to be. He gives a terse nod, making his eyeline give a wide berth until his gaze lands squarely on her face where a bemused smirk just barely masks something more uncertain. 

"Sorry, there is a real dearth of female agents or this would be much less awkward." Javier stepped closer, holding the wire in his hands like the world's flimsiest shield. She's right of course, the sight of a woman's brassiere hasn't been new to him since he was a teenager sneakily perusing clothing catalogues in his bedroom after dark. Hers isn't even... it's... functional, off-white, unwired and unembellished, and reveals just the edge of a tan line, something he quickly drags his gaze away from. The problem is of course, that the path his eyes take is further down her body, suddenly snagging on a raised line down at the very edge of her ribcage on the left side. 

"What's this?" His thumb drags across the raised skin instinctually. It's a thin, straight line of scar tissue, around half the length of his index finger and sitting right on the lowest rib. Diana gasped softly and he snatched his hand away like he'd touched one of the electric fences back on the ranch. "Sorry." 

"It's fine, it's just a scar." She took a steadying breath and retraced the path his finger had just taken on her skin with her own, pensive. "I got caught in a shootout on my way home when I was home for summer from university once. It's just a graze." Just a graze that would have been more than that if it had hit just a few inches to the side. Javier felt faint at the thought. 

"Do you have any?"

"Huh?" His brain is lagging on something, hence the eloquent reply. 

"You said you get shot at a lot in this job. Ever been hit?" She ducks her head a little, looking up at him through her lashes from where she's leaning back against the wall. "Come on, I showed you mine, you show me yours." It's clearly a joke, and one she obviously regrets as soon as the words are out, judging by the pained expression that comes right after the statement. 

"Just one." Javier said, tapping his leg about a handwidth above the knee. "Went right through. Apparently missed the main artery by less than half an inch." 

"Hmm, " she hummed, "Looks like we're both lucky then." 

"Yeah," Javier agreed, his voice soft and low, "lucky." 

The changing rooms really were not cramped, but with two fully grown adults inside, they were just about spacious enough. They stood barely an arm's length apart, mirror to one side and thick faux-velvet curtain to the other. Javier felt heat prickle from the base of his neck downwards, and he wasn't even the one with half his chest out. He'd only rolled up his shirtsleeves to his elbows, leaving his forearms bare. 

Her hand brushed over one gently, curling around his wrist and startling him out of whatever feverish reverie he'd zoned out into. 

"So," she trailed her fingertips further down, over his knuckles and the wire slung around them, before tapping against the small black cylinder that housed the recording device and battery, "does this thing get hot?" 

Pull yourself together and be fucking professional! "It shouldn't." 

"Right, well let's get it on then." 

He handed her the microphone end first. Explained ideal placement, the closer to the face the better. This was a modified necktie bug, small and discreet, secured against the skin with tape if necessary. She took it, pinned the mic to the strap of her bra, high up on the shoulder. The wire itself was long enough to wind around her torso once with some slack. The slim casing that held the battery and recording device she tucked into her bra for now. Listened intently as he explained how to turn the device on and off. 

"I'll keep this on for the rest of the day, just to get used to the feeling." Her smile was a bit wobbly as she spoke. 

"Yeah, that's ...uh, a good idea." Javier fidgeted a moment, not sure what to do with his hands. "Right, I'll leave you to your-" 

She gripped his hands just as he was about to turn and leave. Alarmed, he stilled. Watched he lip wobble and the rims of her eyes redden under furrowed brows. "Hey, what is it?, What's wrong?"

She heaved a deep and shaky breath that ended in an even shakier laugh. "I'm sorry I'm just... I'm scared."

"You don't have to do this if you don't feel safe." Javier was quick to offer. "You've helped us so much already."

She swallowed hard. "No, I do want to! Do this, help you. I want to bring them down! Besides, I'm going to be there anyway, so it would be a waste not to-" 

She was trembling now, unaware of her own body's reaction until it was brought into sharp relief by his large warm hands on her shoulders. 

"Hey," he said, thumbs rubbing gently at her collarbones, "It's going to be alright. I won't let anything happen to you, okay?" 

She knew, realistically, that there was only so far he could carry a promise like that, but her nerves calmed nonetheless. It was silly, really. This relationship was just a professional alliance, no matter how many deep secrets they'd shared with one another. Officially of course they couldn't ever be associated, at least as long as any of the 'Gentlemen' of Calí still roamed free. And yet, she trusted him.  

"I know. I'm sorry." She babbled, nerves imploring her to externalize her anxiety through words. "I came to you; I wanted this... want this. I'm in. I'll try to be brave."

He squeezed her shoulders gently. "You're one of the bravest people I know." And that was the crux of it, wasn't it? Because deep down he didn't want her to be brave. Helena had been brave too, and what did it get her? 

"I'm just… I'm tired of being afraid." She steadied herself on him, hands gripping his biceps now. 

"Sometimes being afraid is what keeps us alive." He murmured, bringing one hand up to tilt her face to meet his gaze. "Listen to me. I will do whatever it takes to make sure you're safe, okay? Whatever I can, I promise. I can't have you on my conscience as well." The last part was whispered so softly that she barely caught it, but she nodded, pulling herself together and schooling her breathing.  

"Thank you." She squeezed her hands once and let go. Javier searched her face for a moment longer, thumb brushing over her cheekbone absently, before he remembered himself and drew back.

"You gonna be okay?"

"Yeah," she nodded, "yeah I'll be fine." 

"Okay." Javier breathed, straightening, hand going for the curtain. "I'll wait outside."

Her answering smile was still shaky, but not quite as much so.

When Javier ducked out of the changing room his first glance is towards the stroller, where Salome is still napping peacefully. His second glance is directed towards the shop assistant sorting through the returns rack, directed there by the woman's disapproving huff. It's not the same one who helped them pick out dresses, but a slightly older woman, one who carries the gravitas of authority derived by experience with her. 

"Did your wife need help?" She quips while untangling garments from hangers. Out of all that's happened over the past quarter of an hour or so, this is what really makes Javier's ears burn. 

"Yes, with the um... zipper." He stutters, wishing for the first time that day since leaving the base that he could have a smoke. 

"Hmm," the shop assistant resumed her folding, "You would not believe the kinds of things people get up to in there." Her disapproving stare moved to the stroller where Salome was still blissfully asleep under his blazer. He snatches the garment away guiltily, but Salome doesn't even stir, just slumbers on cutely. At last, the woman's eyes soften. 

"Yes, well... call me or any of my colleagues if you need further... assistance." 

"Thanks." He clears his throat and sits as she sails off with an armful of clothes. Miss Rivas poked her head out not a second later. 

"I'm sorry, your what?" 

At least she was laughing again, even if her eyes were still slightly red-rimmed and watery. 

"Sorry, next time I'll be sure to clarify that you are my confidential informant and we're taking down the world's biggest drug cartel together." He retorts, and she breaks out into a wide grin accompanied by a snorty burst of laughter. 

"Well, if you put it like that it sounds almost romantic." Now it's his turn to snort. "I do actually need help with this zipper, though." 

She stepped half out of the little alcove, clad in a floor-length, wine-red halter gown with intricate beading all over, and a slit so high it makes his brain short-circuit. Which causes him to just stare at her dumbly for a long moment, even after she's already turned to present the high back of it. 

"Agent Peña?" She throws over her shoulder, somewhere between amused and slightly concerned. He jumps and strides over, fingers fidgeting with the zipper tab until he gets a decent grip and starts to pull it up the rest of the way. 

"Uh, no I meant down." Her voice is as strained as he feels. He pulls the tab down, desperately trying not to focus on the skin being revealed as he does. She releases a relieved breath when he's done and turns, stepping back inside the changing room. 

"Thanks."

"This one good?" He asks with a non-committal shrug, nodding towards the dress without really looking at it. 

"No, I think I do need to be able to breathe. And also I'd like to be able to walk without flashing everyone. I do work with these people, after all." She smiled, one hand on the curtain ready to draw it back shut. "I'll be quick with the rest, but you can take Salome for a turn if you want, maybe have a smoke outside? We can meet back here or by the registers." 

They both look at the little girl's sleeping form simultaneously, watch her eyes move rapidly under her lids as she is lost in dreams. 

"Thanks, but it's alright. I can stay in case you need further...help."

It really isn't long after that. She hurries, but they also make light conversation while she tries on another five or six dresses. She doesn't come out with most of them but narrates all their flaws very entertainingly. Javier once again enjoys how forward she is, not censoring herself in the least as she complains about everything from odd sizing to itchy material to unfortunate placement of embellishments. 

"Okay, last one." She announces and then draws back the curtain with a flourish and Javier... just gapes. The dress is midnight blue, so dark it looks almost black until light hits the silky fabric and reflects off of it. The color compliments the deep bronze tan of her skin like it had been chosen specifically for her. It's slim-cut, body-hugging and high-collared with thin spaghetti straps and subtle beading on the bodice. A tasteful slit goes to just above the knee and the hem brushes just over the tops of her feet. 

"I think this will work." 

'Oh it definitely works.' Luckily Javier's mouth is currently too dry for these words to slip out, so he just nods, clearing his throat awkwardly. 

"Great! Let me change back real quick and let's get out of here." 

He's just adjusting his suit jacket to lie over the still blissfully sleeping toddler like a blanket when Diana steps back out, back on her shorts and top. 

"Looks like the American taxpayers are in luck. It's discounted." She said as she read the tag, then draped the blue dress over the top of the stroller. "Twenty percent. Not bad." 

Javier snorted. Took the other dresses and hung them up on the returns rack. Grabbed the stroller handles and gently set the vehicle in motion. Salome stirred a moment, then bunched a chubby hand in the fabric sheltering her from the chilly air-conditioning and settled back down. Diana's gaze is soft upon her niece, and soft still when she raises her eyes to meet Javier's. 

They make their way down to the registers, walking from the top floor of the department store downwards, weaving around racks and shelves and other shoppers. Javier is pushing the stroller, Miss Rivas at his side where possible, her hand loosely hooked into the crook of his elbow again as she likes to do. It's two floors down, as they traverse the men's section, that she suddenly sidetracks, half disentangling herself, half pulling him over to a wall display. Neckties. He raises a questioning eyebrow. 

"Since we're here already." She shrugs, like that explains everything. It doesn't. The eyebrw remains up and quizzical. 

"Explain." 

There's a dangerous glint in her eye as she lets her fingertips glide over the assorted fabrics. 

"Gabi said you only have ugly ties." Has she now.

"She's only seen two!" Javier protests without heat. She eyes him critically, eyes the tie he put on this morning at the asscrack of dawn for his damn meetings. He has half a mind to argue that he didn't feel like dressing up all pretty for some pissy general at half past four in the morning. 

"Was this one of them?" Though truth be told perhaps his tie selection is a bit... outdated. This one is several brownish tones in a very 70s pattern, if he's being honest. 

"No?" But this one was also one of the old ones that had been gifts from Lorraine he'd never gotten rid of. 

"Then you have three ugly ties." There is no arguing with this woman. So, he submits. "You'll have to make announcements on national television sooner or later; you'll need to look decent." 

"I'm not arguing, am I?" He figures what's the point. What's the worst that could happen. And she knows she's won, too. Gleefully starts peering through the selection before them. 

"Is this revenge? For this?" He motioned to the dress still draped over the stroller, his meaning clear between them. Is this for making you go to a party with the world's most powerful drug bosses with a wire up your boobs.

"No." She lied, picking up a solid charcoal tie and holding it up to his collar. "Of course not." 

She picks out four, two solid and two patterned.

By the time he parks the car back on a side street in Envigado Salome is awake and very grumpy. A snack of peach slices and crackers mollifies her somewhat, but just enough to get her in the house and distracted by her toys before throwing a fit. Javier carried in the car seat and then the stroller, after Diana's signal that the coast was clear, and lastly he grabs her shopping bag and stuffs the last item on his itinerary for this visit inside, before he forgets again. 

"Another coffee?" He wants to, he really does, but if he ingests any caffeine now he knows he won't sleep until well after midnight. So he shakes his head, apologetic. He's tired, sure, but he'll power through until he reaches his hotel (and then promptly collapse on the bed there.)

"I have one last... I brought you something, just in case." He hands her the bag, and she looks at him quizzically. Until she looks inside, that is. 

"What's this?" She holds the garment up in question, turns it in her hands a a few times. Javier clears his throat.

"Bulletproof vest." 

She gulps. Pales imperceptibly, eyes flitting between him and the vest. 

"You really think this is neces-"

"Just in case." He insists. It probably wouldn't- it's a newer model, thinner and more discreet than the tac vests they use out in the field, but likely still too bulky to be hidden under her normal work clothes, even though she favors looser cuts. He takes it from her gently, motions for her to put her arms up so he can lower the vest over her head and do it up at the sides. Explains how it needs to be secured tight to the body so it doesn't shift. 

"It won't work under my normal work clothes." Miss Rivas frowns, hands smoothing down over the front of it, calculating. Probably going through her wardrobe mentally. Doing an admirable job of not letting fear grip her again like that earlier hiccup. "It's too bulky."

"No, you're right." Javier conceded, hands still at her sides where his fingers are hooked into the clasps of the vest. "You should still take it. Who knows when it'll come in handy."

--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

Author’s note cont’d: this is the song Javi is hearing over the phone in the first scene btw

learn about bugs and wires here (though I do admit that I am playing a bit fast and loose with this here ;)

this is what I based the first dress on:

and here’s the final dress: 

and yes, I hate about 90% of the ties they have him wear in the show and that is how that bit came about. Sorry to throw Lorraine under the bus a bit there but I’m sure they were fashionable at the time :/

Next Chapter

[lastheiress]

CLAUDIA  BENEVIENTO  ( & ANDREI AMATO )  --  HEADCANONS. pt 1 / ?

note:  after  some  contemplation  i  have  decided  to  incorporate  claudia,  more  specifically,  the  theory  of  claudia  being  donna’s  daughter,  into  my  mainverse  /  overall  portrayal  of  donna.  more  hc  posts  will  come  later  but  for  now,  some  general  background hcs;

01.  claudia was the accidental product of a brief, romantic affair with a sheepherder by the name of andrei amato (1942-1987)  --  he was the nephew of josef simon, the beloved gardener of beneviento manor & unofficial guardian to donna after the loss of her parents. donna and andrei actually met as children on a few occassions, but neither one remembers. their first ‘official’ encounter occurred when andrei -- seeking answers on the disappearance of his uncle* -- purposely began taking herding jobs in the village, following a trail of rumors which led him to the manor. what followed from there was unintended and unplanned on both ends: love.

* as repayment for his kindness, donna tested her newfound hallucinogenic abilities on josef so that he would be reunited with his long dead wife and infant son. it worked, producing magical results. unfortunately, josef became addicted to the illusions and was slowly driven to madness. there are whispers in the village, that say he flung himself off the waterfall cliffs by the manor as donna’s own grief-stricken mother did. but donna insists that’s cruel and untrue, that he died a peacefully resigned man in his bed under the impression that his wife was holding his hand at the end.

02.  andrei was slowly but surely absorbed into the maddening world of the occult and the impossible; bewildered, then utterly fascinated, he gradually began to accept it all. the dolls took a liking to him. even more surprising, he accepted the lot of them -- angelika included -- and took a liking to them. through donna, he was aware of the hierarchy and the other lords, but did not interact with them. (he was also barred from the meetings.) donna did, however, confide to mother miranda about her feelings. needless to say, miranda was visibly disappointed  -- something which everyone else but donna could see -- and barely tolerated him. he was an outsider, who asked far too many questions and was beginning to harbor an influence on donna’s mind; she was less sullen and withdrawn, something which could make it more difficult to control her. so something had to be done.

03.  when donna realized she was pregnant, andrei began to talk of marriage and plans of taking her to meet his extended relatives in italy. it was a whirlwind of imaginative dreams which made her head spin with disbelief -- to be so loved and so wanted by someone; she, the second daughter, unfavored and grotesquely scarred heir. but then, weeks prior to the due date, andrei disappeared*. she was summoned to an emergency private meeting with miranda, who solemnly informed her of a horrible truth: andrei was already married to someone else, and had only sought out donna for her family wealth and to avenge his uncle, and that once he realized she had nothing of value, he fled the village overnight. donna wept into her mother’s arms, who rubbed her back and hushed her, ‘i tried to warn you, my dear’ she cooed.

* andrei had been swept away one night by the black god and disposed of in a manner that ensured no trace of him ever existed; when he unfortunately survived a prolonged torture event, he was promptly fed to a pack of starved lycans who left no trace of him, not even splintered bones or bloodstains.

04.  claudia was born not long after this devastating event; while she wasn’t premature, it was certainly an earlier due date than intended. the labor pains started early in the morning, and then lasted through a terrible, arduous blizzard night in december. as she had before with every other event in her life, donna endured this alone, save for a terrified midwife that had been summoned. rumor has it, the process nearly killed her and a scalpel was on standby should it have to resort to a choice between mother and child. luckily, it never came down to that resort: claudia beneviento was born on december 13th, 1987 at approximately ten o’clock at night. that was the moment when donna’s world truly began and it would end on a bitter night of october 30th 1996.

[blkhnde]

inspiration:          ///

𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚙𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚗𝚝,   𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚟𝚎   and   𝚙𝚛𝚒𝚟𝚊𝚝𝚎         writing blog for       𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗴𝗮𝗻 𝗯𝗹𝗮𝗰𝗸𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗱         of        cyberpunk.          as lovingly designed by  jelly.          [ 2020 / sourcebooks / cybergen & headcanon based ]          dupe friendly.

                                                     #blkhnde

                                                other details below.

mains;*          ——— exclusives;*          yorinobu.

mixed-media writing blog for morgan blackhand of the cyberpunk franchise.   i’ve played the board-games [primarily 2020,  cybergen] and influence my writing off that.   my blog is very heavily headcanon based and as such,  please don’t take from me (if you ask,  i’ll honestly give / loan you things).   

i have piles of other verses but i am very lazy with typing so just ask me about them!  if we’re mutuals,  i 100% have thought of a way for us to interact.

i (generall) don’t write nsfw because i’m lazy frankly but nsft is my tag for it,   triggers tagged as content cw.   tag animal death, injury & illness for me please.   any white-washed dc/mcu/etc blogs,  fuck off and eat my shit.

lore:   morgan blackhand is not his real name [nor do you,  or will you ever,  know his real name].   has an adopted daughter named angelika who runs night city’s underworld.   would kill johnny silverhand on the spot for spite reasons.   survived nch when his daughter found his near-corpse in the rubble of the building & spent nearly nine months in stuart hospital [under an alias,  robert snow] before recovering and being heavily cybernetically upgraded.   left night city to help rebuild other cities post-4th corp war [2030-2060s],  primarily to gain favours and integrate himself into the city the same way he had done with night city.   returned to night city 2067,  maintaining an incredibly low profile [mostly operating via angelika,  who in herself,  is incredibly hard to find].   his return is very much a coveted rumor,  the idea that the solo of solos has returned from the dead.   [and that,  if he’s come back from the dead,  we’re fucked but if someone is pretending to be him,  we’re probably still fucked].   

elliot,  nina,  ally,  etc.   do not interact with me.   do not come anywhere near me.     you know exactly what you did & said.

jelly,   23,   they or she,   jewish.   nzst,   full-time student.

[theimpossiblescheme]

My Rum Tum Tugger Headcanons:

He’s the youngest son of Old Deuteronomy and Grizabella, born as a “save the marriage” kitten after Deuteronomy’s scandal with Iphegenia.  He’s Macavity’s full brother and Munkustrap’s half-brother.

He has a lot physically in common with Macavity, namely his mane and his body language, particularly around cats he’s romantically interested in.  That’s what helped him realize as he grew up that he really was a tomcat and not a queen, and he looked up to Macavity as a kitten to show him how to groom and carry himself.

Having grown up in his older brothers’ shadows, he developed most of his tough ladykiller persona as a way to act out for attention and cope with his feelings of inadequacy.  No one in the Tribe really ever expected him to act like anything but the carefree little brother before, so he decided he might as well live up to the label.

He’s the very proud mate to Mistoffelees, Vixen (@omikinz​), and Bernadette. (@morbidlymary on Instagram)  He’s also the adopted father to not only the seven kittens Misto pulled out of the hat, but Hestia, (@uppastthejelliclemoon​), Sekhmet, Ares (@dcjelliclequeen33​​), Castalia, Moria, Latinus (@thederpyllamaoflove​), and Primadonna. (@morbidlymary on Instagram)

He used to resent Munkustrap for not being his “real” brother and stealing the position of Tribe Deputy away from his “true family.”  The fact that they were polar opposites in personality didn’t help either.  But after seeing Munkustrap’s complete devotion and love for the Tribe, Tugger’s come to accept him not only as a Protector, but as a brother.  His affectionate public endorsement at the last Jellicle Ball was a long time coming, and it made Munkustrap cry.

He also had a much looser sense of boundaries when he was younger and accidentally made several cats uncomfortable with his advances.  As he’s grown up, he’s become much more relaxed and respectful and will quickly back off if he senses he’s upset anyone.

He first introduced Cassandra and Admetus to the rest of the Tribe and has since become a very close friend to the former and a sort of Big Brother Mentor to the latter.

He’s also good friends with Mungojerrie—the two goof off and gossip all the time, and Jerrie’s the only other tom besides Misto that Tugger has a secret handshake with.

His old owner, a wealthy elderly woman named Rosaline, named him Leonidas as his Family Name and kept him as a famous show cat.  However, she wasn’t the most attentive owner and seemed to only keep him around so she could show him off, never seeming to mind when he wandered off or showing him much affection.  Now, Tugger lives with Munkustrap and his human family. (@kineticjellyfish​)

While he was officially living with Rosaline, he would often visit a distant neighbor girl, who was a musician and singer.  She was much kinder to Tugger and ended up teaching him everything he knew about human music.

He lavishes love on Misto’s paws, taking care of them whenever they get burnt and kissing them at every opportunity.  They’re the source of Misto’s magic, after all, and Tugger wants him to know how special that is.

While Munkustrap might be more of a physical and guiding leader, Tugger is the emotional center of the Tribe.  He might not be the greatest fighter, but he’s the best at defusing a tense situation and raising everyone’s spirits, and he’s a phenomenal storyteller who’s great at thinking on his feet.

He once saved Etcetera and Rumpleteazer from a hostile pack of Pollicle dogs, and they’ve been his biggest fans ever since.

He’s an extremely doting uncle to Jemima.  When her mane starts growing in, he starts spiriting her away ostensibly so he can teach her to groom and take care of her mane, but they’re also excuses to just sit around and talk and plan mischief together.

He’s also very protective of human kids—he’ll stand in front of their legs and puff out his fur to scare off anything he thinks might hurt them.

He’s quite good at impressions, although his tend to fall somewhere along the “cruel, but accurate” spectrum.

He used to court a queen named Angelika from Esther’s mini-Tribe, but there was just never any spark between them… it never felt sincere the way his interactions with Misto, Vixen, and Bernadette felt.  So he broke it off.

Ever since Grizabella left, all he’s felt for her was bitterness and something approaching hatred.  He blames her the most for their family falling apart, and he could never bring himself to forgive her, even after she became the Jellicle Choice.  For Tugger, the suffering left behind in her wake was too great to be overcome by any apology.

After Macavity was exiled, Tugger started frequenting a bar along the docks called the Ivory Lantern to see if he could find him again.  He even got involved with both the bar’s smuggling operations and a barmaid queen named Browrey for a while before realizing that he may as well go home and that Macavity had no plans on returning. (@kineticjellyfish​)

He taught Misto a lot of his signature moves, including the Conjuring Turn.

He suffers from bouts of sensory overload and doesn’t like to be touched when he’s feeling overwhelmed.  He grounds himself by stroking his mane.

He gets along rather well with Jeny’s mice and always compliments their crafts and singing when he sees them.

He can fall asleep practically anywhere and sprawl out so he looks like a giant furry puddle.  He also frequently takes “beauty naps” in a particularly sunny window in Emily’s flat.

[hellfilled]

harry     potter      verse:        ANGELIKA

professor      of       history        of        magic         at         hogwarts         school         of        witchcraft        and        wizardry.         alum       of         the       school,        sorted        into        hufflepuff.         age:     1007.       species:      vampire       important       note:       she       attended      hogwarts       11       years       after       it’s       opening.       she       was       born       july      13,      990.