#is enrolling nauen in the school a plan?

[babyjinsu]

https://www.tumblr.com/babyjinsu/781348765321904128/bystander-pairing-bulliedanton-x-femreader

woah i would love to know more ments from their past, yn and toni have such an interesting relationship in the past i feel like

and they do! i’d like to think that they had nothing in common or in relations. the only thing that stringed them along was the three bullies :)) 

their relationship was full of these unspoken things of guilt, powerlessness, fear… for reader (u guys <3),,, anton was like this unsettling presence, or maybe even a reflection of what you used to be like. a victim. that’s why you cldn’t look him in the eye. it’s not what you did or didn’t do, it’s what he represented. 

to anton, you were the coward one. you made everything worse by being there. you didn’t laugh, didn’t throw things, didn’t spit in his food, but also didn’t do anything to stop it. anton hated you because you were safe behind them. he didn’t hate you the way he hated his bullies—raw and hot rage—but in a colder and more complicated way. almost internally. like something’s ill n wrong with him,,, but he quickly justifies and validates himself with the fact that you're a bully (are you?), and he's a victim. 

like anton doesn’t know why you were just there, always watching and doing nothing. even as i’m writing this i don’t know how to explain the ‘relationship’ that they had between one another. anton hates you for what? you didn’t do anything. you didn’t add onto the pain he was already suffering. but you were also the one person who could have done something. 

so anton doesn’t know where to place you in the mosaic of his suffering. he hates you because you didn’t join in. because that makes it feel like you thought you were better than him.

they have this really complex relationship that as the writer myself i don’t know how to word and comprehend it. the pain between the two of you doesn’t come from what was done, but what wasn’t. 

hopefully this is understandable lolol. let me know what kind of relationship do u think they had then! bystander was so interesting to write because i can’t explain it! so it kinda just doesn’t make sense to me.