#is this a safe space. this post is about sterek and sterek only

[dreamertrilogys]

The teen wolf tag is genuinely a hellscape I don’t understand what it is about that show that invites this level of behaviour but it’s crazy

[competitioneddie]

It's wip monday, again!!!

Yeah, so I'm still working on this thing and I've hit kind of a rut. I'm just not sure where I want to go and I'd love to bounce back some ideas so if you're up for it hit me up? My beta is out of commission until further notice so at this point I'm just desperate to dump my sterek feels on anyone who'll listen.

Anyway, here's a snippet. This is all the same WIP, it's about to hit 70k now and I'm dying over here. If you ever wondered where Stiles had gone when I posted the first snippet, this is where: college, but like as far away as possible. Have at it.

***

It happens a couple more times, Stiles just never tells Isaac what he's really thinking. They just go back and forth, Stiles coming up with more and more ridiculous career paths he could take, almost always involving some kind of joke about dying.

(Isaac has an inkling that Stiles doesn't trust him not to run to Derek. And he'd be right, because Stiles is the brains of this operation. At this point, Isaac is sure he's the whole operation, if Scott's attempts at growing their cutesy blended pack are anything to go by. He's not loving Derek's odds, to be honest.)

Around the same time the rest of the pack start panicking about their options, Stiles tells Isaac he’s made up his mind. The Colorado School of Mines.

Isaac hugs him awkwardly. “Tell me this isn’t because you want the ground to open up and swallow you.”

“I’m actually thinking of Aerospace Engineering so I can maybe fuck off into the sunset. Do you think there are werewolves on Mars?” Stiles says. "Please tell me Derek hates long flights."

They share a quiet laugh and then Isaac is up close in his space, hugging him. Stiles hangs on, fists pressed into his eyes, chin hooked over Isaac’s shoulder. They don’t let go for a long time.

Graduation comes and goes. Choices are made, suitcases are packed, tears are shed, all the usual works. Derek doesn’t reach out. It’s been a month and Stiles hasn’t been to the forest, or near the loft, or anywhere for that matter. He hasn’t told Scott yet.

He drives to the clinic late one night. He knows that Scott will be there, even if it’s after hours on a Sunday, because it has always been his safe space. Stiles cries bitterly behind the steering wheel and gathers his bearings in time to catch Scott exiting, turning off the lights and locking the door behind him.

Stiles tells Scott that he’s leaving and Scott’s whole body flops. He doesn’t question his friend on this.

They hug on the sidewalk because Stiles has made a choice that he can’t unmake, that opens a riff between them.

It could be easy. Stiles knows it could be so easy. If he wanted to stay, all he had to do was ask, and Derek would just leave, sever all ties with Scott’s pack and never look back.

The thing is, Stiles doesn’t need to ask, because this is the hill that he will choose to die on every single time, willingly, with a passion. He leaves because he hasn’t been the better man, ever, but also because he unwaveringly chooses to take a stand for Derek over Scott, a thousand times over, bite or no bite.

Stiles’ departure spreads their friendship thin because if he was a shapeshifter, if he was anything remotely otherly at all, he’d go lone wolf before submitting to Scott, but they both know he would submit to Derek, in a heartbeat, with his life.

(Scott knows, because Stiles has been his brother all these years, that he would happily crawl his way through the marshy banks of the Styx river to bring any of them back, but if only one of them could make it out alive, Scott also knows that he would watch his best friend disappear into the depths of Hades to stay with Derek.

So they hug, and they cry quietly, and Scott doesn’t ask Stiles to reconsider, because the second the words are out of his mouth, Scott feels the bond breaking.)

[bluespinksyellows]

I have a wild fic idea that will not leave my head!😓 So it's a Sterek(optional) Teen Wolf post apocalyptic au /w Maze Runner(the movies) references and /w Bird Box(the movie) aspects🙂

Au: Stiles name is actually Thomas Paige(he changes it later on) and is the son of Ava Paige. At the very beginning of the apocalypse, during a panic, Stiles is bitten by an infected and Ava sees. When Stiles survives she gets intrigued and that's how the whole 'Cure' obsession starts and WCKD is born.

She experiments on Stiles until he eventually escapes. He wanders for a bit on his own until he comes across a kid that's younger than him and takes them under his wing but the kid ends up bitten and is killed. He's heartbroken and decides that he needs to create a safe space in their memory.

So using his immunity to the bite he raids places for supplies and eventually builds his own farm and infected free paradise. During the time he builds it he takes in a few more kids. The actual fic starts a few years later when Stiles is 17.

A little world-building, by the time the fic starts there are many 'safe zones' across the world where all the remaining people live and at some of the more fancy ones is where they keep the last of the edible/harvestable animals(that they know of) because animals can get infected. The less fancy 'safe zones' survive off of synthetic meat and food.

The maze trials do kinda exist in this world except that instead of building a bunch of whole ass mazes they just do virtual reality stuff, kinda like what they did with Minho in the third movie except that they keep them in virtual reality so they don't know it's fake.

'The Right Arm' resistance is also a thing but the right arm itself isn't the only group that are against WCKD. There's a different well known group called 'The Pack' that's also against all of it but their main enemy is a group that's affiliated with WCKD called 'The Alphas'.

'The Alphas' are a group of supernaturals(not just werewolves) that are infected. When a supernatural with healing abilities is infected it doesn't fully turn them into insane zombies but instead just makes them very cannibalistic and feel the need to infect other people. These people are referred to as 'Others'. This is important info.

Stiles actually heard about 'The Pack' and one of it's main leaders, Sheriff Stilinski, and hence adopts the name Stiles.

At the start of the fic both 'The Right Arm' and 'The Pack' have been almost completely wiped out by WCKD and 'The Alphas' respectively. Both groups are trying to recoup and are heading towards a 'safe zone' called "The Hall". This specific 'safe zone' is known for not being affiliated with any group or government unlike most 'safe zones' that get their funding from places like WCKD.

Because of that both groups decide to go there to recoup but end up running into each other on the way and want to team up. They are attacked by infected and Brenda(Maze Runner) gets bit during the fight. They decide to just try to run and hide and in doing so come across a very secure fence that protects Stiles' farm.

I imagine that one of the kids Stiles has adopted is the first one to find them and tries to keep them a secret for a bit before shes found out by one of the older kids.

He ends up curing Brenda which obviously brings up questions but he ignores them and tells them that its temporary. They explain what happened and where they're going and he tells them that 'The Hall' is overrun by 'Others'. They convince him to let them stay there to recoup instead

At some point they see the bites on Stiles' arms and think he's an 'Other', they have a big fight about that and are like trying to take the kids away and are accusing him of infecting Brenda and lying about 'The Hall' until he explains that he's immune.

He also explains that his blood can be used to temporarily cure animals based on size and he has to give them regular shots in order for them to stay cured. He wasn't sure if it would even work on Brenda but got lucky.

He knows he's not the only immune and is fairly sure that the whole curing process is something all immunes can do until they tell him that it definitely isn't.

And the rest of the story is about them trying to take down WCKD and 'The Alphas'😁👍🏻

[angkis]

Maybe you can make some side blogs?

If you're going to be posting content that is not Sterek or Stiles and Derek with other people (like Chris or Peter). So that way Sterek shippers can see Sterek content on a side blog or main blog, and not see the other characters or ships on the blog they don't want to be exposed to. That way everyone is happy and the blogs are a *safe space for everyone*. Since some people are highly triggered by certain characters due to their own traumas.

So content-specific blogs or side blogs work well for that. Sterek-only content blog/side-blog and/or side ships or rare ships you're starting to draw for TW.

Food for thought.

Please don't be offended, but my short answer is, respectfully, 'no'.

The long answer, if you're interested in my thoughts: My blog has always been a multifandom AND multishipper blog, I just happen to be obsessed with sterek/teen wolf currently! This blog was a 'star trek' blog just a couple of months ago for example. I use tags for my fanarts, so you can definitely block the ones you're not comfortable seeing, but that's all I can do for you, I'm sorry! 🙏 Stranger to stranger 🤝

I love love love sterek and I have a hell lot of ideas left in me, so you can definitely expect plenty of fanarts about them in the near future, BUT I also enjoy a lot of things other than sterek. I'm a busy little guy, sharing art I do for fun in my *sadly* limited free time. You're asking a lil too much here :c

Now, I will very carefully react to that trauma part, because I truly don't want to offend you.

Please don't make it seem like my blog is unsafe. I'm not perfect, I'm human like you, but I'm definitely a considerate, safe person who is managing a pretty safe blog. We just don't enjoy allll the same things. I wouldn't call your blog unsafe for posting something that triggers me, or has something to do with my own past you will never hear about. You're gonna get hurt so much if you take everything so personally on the Internet. I know it's hard, I can't possibly know what you went through and I'm sorry it happened to you, and I say this genuinely: You might need a therapist for these things, you have to work on them For your own well-being if a character affects you that deeply, I can't imagine. I'm not a psychologist, I'm just an artist.

[avichor]

INDEPENDENT AND SELECTIVE MULTIMUSE FEATURING CANON AND ORIGINAL CHARACTERS FROM VARIOUS MEDIA. PRIMARILY HEADCANON - BASED. EXPLICIT CONTENT PRESENT. RULES BELOW THE CUT.

                 ⁽ ೀ   𝓓irectory.    ⁽ ೀ   𝓟rompts.

— AFFILIATES: @IMITOR, @MEMUNTOS, @EPHAMEREL, @OWNLORE.

▍18+ only.   mutually exclusive.     softblock when breaking mutuals, softblock if you don’t intend to follow back because i will forget to unfollow. my activity tends to be low or sporadic, it's never an indication of my interest. i will not adhere to deadlines for interactions - we're mutuals for a reason.

       *          i utilize memes as a way to write starters and initiate interactions. please do not send prompts if you have no intention of continuing at least one of the ones i post.  

▍basic dni criterion apply, but specifically do not interact if you exclusively / primarily use east - southeast asian fcs  ( there are exceptions and i can tell when it's weird behavior vs not. i'm east asian and treatment towards east - southeast asians is atrocious. );   interchange asians; write historical or real muses;     frequent sexual nsfw; fetishizing mlm. i'm extremely critical of how fandom spaces behave and this extends to the rpc. this is not a safe space for you to be weird and i am confrontational by nature.

additionally: dni if you write sterek, jayvik, niragi / chishiya, ( and others i'm forgetting but will sb upon seeing it ). i will not follow if you show a pattern of favoring men and mlm while ignoring women of color and wlw relationships. i don't care if you say you like women when all you show is otherwise. i may not always notice at first, so i will softblock once spotting such behavior. in that same vein, i will not interact with those who endorse nassy ( wellfell, crue11, s4lesman, etc.) and her ongoing romanticization of fictional sexual assaulters, abusers, and general fetishization of asians, including mlm. other trivial problematic behavior include involvement with krp, constant vaguing, and blog - watching.

       *           by default,   expect most potentially triggering content to be referenced in some way or form on this blog.    characters come from a wide variety of media, most of which include some form of violence, death, and other explicit content. sexual content may be present, but no smutting on dash unless i'm comfortable, most i'll do is a fade - to - black. regarding shipping, i typically prefer non-romantic dynamics and rely heavily on ooc chemistry to even consider a romantic ship.

▍not all muses have additional info linked, so please free to ask me about anyone! my muse list is embarrassingly extensive and i'm too attached to actually remove anyone, so i've tried to present a smaller batch but everyone in the extended directory is available. they're not restricted or request only or whatever.

       *          droyi coire and the venkari universe are original lores created by my friends and i. please do not lift or use any of the content.

▍macy,  she / her,   25,   discord avail for mutuals. icon / pinned: loputyn    

[phdmama]

I posted 5,711 times in 2021

391 posts created (7%)

5320 posts reblogged (93%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 13.6 posts.

I added 966 tags in 2021

#my writing - 131 posts

#drarry - 122 posts

#fic writer problems - 101 posts

#gorgeous hp art - 101 posts

#sterek - 96 posts

#teen wolf - 94 posts

#cue the queue - 87 posts

#oh my god - 81 posts

#yeah - 79 posts

#drarry fic rec - 74 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#not to be like xoomer on main (get it? cuz i’m gen x?) - but do young people today actually think anywhere on the internet is a safe space?

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Get Ready (Let Me Love You)

Written for the @drarrymicrofic prompt from July 16 (yeah I know, I’ve been caught up on other things) - “Curious”. Since @the-starryknight proposed this, I’ll say thank you to them as well, as this moment just sort of sprang fully-formed into my head. I’ll also thank @kingsofeverything and @tackytigerfic for the writing tags!! 

“So, I heard something curious,” Harry says, striving for a casual tone that belies the way his heart is pounding. “I heard you like me,”

He’s sat on the ancient, squashy couch in the staff lounge. The other occupant of the lounge is sitting in the hideous, green, corduroy, wingback chair, face hidden behind the Propet from two days ago. They’re the only two in the lounge, which, given that it’s 2:00 in the morning, is not surprising.

The paper rustles a bit and then Harry hears, “Lies, Potter. Calumny and lies.”

“Oh, really?” Harry leans back, lets his head tip back to rest and his eyes close. The switch to nights for the next two weeks is kicking his ass. “That’s not what I heard.”

There’s a long pause. “I don’t like you at all.”

Eyes still closed, Harry grins at the ceiling and says in a sing-song voice. “That’s not what I heard.”

He hears the sigh. “Fine. Do, pray tell, convey to me what you think you’ve heard.”

“Well,” Harry says with a yawn, “Pansy told Ginny that Blaise told Luna that after I left pub night last week, you got drunk and told Ron how much you like me.”

There’s a snort. “Schoolyard gossip, Potter? That seems beneath you.”

Harry snickers and opens his eyes. “Maybe so, but it seems a long way from not liking me at all to crying in your gin about how lovely I am.”

The paper lowers enough that Harry can see that one aristocratic eyebrow is arched in disdain. “Lovely? I think you’ve got delusions of grandeur.” The paper goes back up.

“Oh well,” Harry says cheerfully, “My mistake.” He gets up to head back out to do rounds. “That’s too bad, because if you did somehow like me, I was thinking…”

He’s almost at the door when he hears, “Wait.”

Harry pauses and turns back. “Yes?”

Malfoy has lowered the paper to his knees and he somehow manages to combine defensive and vulnerable into an attractive flush. “It’s just. Perhaps.”

“Perhaps?” Harry says encouragingly and Malfoy rolls his eyes.

“Perhaps I like you a bit. A small and completely reasonable amount.”

“Hmm,” Harry says. “Okay, and?”

Malfoy shrugs disinterestedly. “You just said you were thinking something. It’s a rare event, so of course, I took note.”

“I was thinking,” Harry says, pulling his face into a pensive expression, “that if it were true, perhaps we could have breakfast.”

“Breakfast?” Malfoy looks a bit confused.

“Well, we’re on nights for the next two weeks,” Harry points out, “so breakfast works better with our schedules.”

Their eyes meet and hold, and Harry holds his breath. They’ve been dancing around each other for months now, and Harry knows all of their friends are sick of it, and, he’s finally acknowledged, Malfoy’s never going to make the first move, so if something’s going to happen, it’s up to Harry.

Malfoy presses his lips together and then nods. “I like breakfast.”

“After shift?” Harry asks, not wanting to push too hard, but damnit, he’s been waiting for so long. “Today?”

The paper snaps back up into place and Malfoy says, “Fine. We can go to the place with the muffins.”

Harry gives a quick fist pump of victory. “Great. I’ll meet you in the Atrium after handover.”

“Fine,” Malfoy says, sounding profoundly blasé, as if he hasn’t just shaken Harry’s world to the core with the hope that maybe, finally, they’ll move through this impasse. “Just so you know, Potter, I don’t put out on the first date.”

“Pity,” Harry says as he turns to leave, “Because I do.”

181 notes • Posted 2021-07-28 22:07:39 GMT

#4

Unveiled

The train grinds to a halt and Harry leans forward in his eagerness to take it all in. It’s a gorgeous Spring day, the sky the same intense blue that he knows from home, which comforts him. There’s much here that looks almost familiar, but then so much that is new and strange to his eyes. The bustling station platform and winding streets beyond paved in cobblestones look much like home. There are vehicles ranging from small to very large, some with strange and unusual shapes of which he can only guess the purpose. But most surprising are the people. There is a crowd gathered, filled with men and women, some in what looks to be a military uniform, some in what must be the street clothes in this Land.

There are no robes. And not a single one of them is veiled.

Larry, 60034 Words, Mature

Written for the @onedirectionbigbang Round Four by phdmama Art by @londonfoginacup

Read it HERE on AO3

181 notes • Posted 2021-06-02 12:00:39 GMT

#3

Unreal

(will be cross-posted to AO3)

It starts during the war.

Draco learns that he can just… disappear. Stop being there, even if it’s only in his mind. He learns to disconnect, to shut it all down and go away. He’s not sure where he goes,exactly, but then again, it doesn’t matter. Anywhere is better than home.

The problem is, it becomes a habit, and then a reflex. Even once he’s safe, back at Hogwarts, he can’t make it stop. And no one seems to notice, Draco realizes. No one notices that most of the time, he’s just gone.

He still manages to make it to his classes on-time, and sometimes studying can shut down the buzzing in his head. He eats his meals with the few friends he has left and endures the long nights alone. Sometimes he jerks off in the shower at 2 am. Sometimes he wanders the castle.

He endures. He doesn’t really live, but it’s easier this way.

The first time he encounters Potter, it’s close to dawn, the sky coming to life in incremental shades of grey. Draco’s at the top of the Astronomy Tower, watching the way the world wakes up.

He hears the sound of someone on the stairs, but it doesn’t matter. Nothing does, when he’s like this.

The footsteps stop and there’s a quick intake of breath. Draco doesn’t bother turning to see who it is, and on some level, he already knows. Who else could it be?

“Malfoy,” Potter says quietly, and Draco doesn’t look at him, just makes a little shrugging motion to indicate he’s aware there’s another person here.

Potter slides down the wall, sitting closer than etiquette allows, but the heat of him pressed up against Draco’s side is nice.

“What are you looking at?” Potter asks, gazing up into the sky as if he still has questions he hasn’t gotten the answers to.

Draco shrugs again and finally turns his head. Potter is right there, and now he’s looking at Draco, like he’s real. Like he can see Draco. Like Draco’s a person, not a ghost.

All of a sudden it’s as if the curtain’s been drawn back, and now there’s nothing separating Draco from the world. He can feel the damp in the air as he inhales, the rough stone of the wall at his back, and he takes him in, larger than life, Potter. Potter with his stupid hair and his stupid scar and his stupid green eyes that see far too much.

Potter frowns, and then hesitantly reaches up, places one warm hand on Draco’s cheek, cold and damp under the gentle touch. Draco’s arm moves of its own volition, his hand lifting to cover Potter’s.

“Are you okay?” Potter whispers.

Draco shakes his head, and then lets himself slide in, lets himself lean for just one moment on that strong shoulder. Even if he hasn’t earned it, he thinks. Even if he doesn’t deserve it.

“No,” he whispers back, eyes closed against the confession.

Draco thinks of fire and smoke, snakes and screaming. Ash on his tongue. He thinks of a boy, raised alone and unknown, thrown into a war when he was still a child. He thinks of loss and grief, of crumbling foundations and despair.

“Are you?” Draco asks, and he feels Harry’s hand tighten on his face for a moment, and then it relaxes.

“No,” Harry says finally. “I’m not.”

184 notes • Posted 2021-04-19 16:14:32 GMT

#2

I want to read a fic exacly like my most beloved favorite fics but also NEW and DIFFERENT. but also the same. 

464 notes • Posted 2021-01-12 01:19:43 GMT

#1

You seem like a reasonably smart person. What do you think about top and bottom discourse?

Huh.

Well, I’ll say: 

I personally do not have a preference. 

I personally do not tag that in my own writing, which is a very deliberate choice and I have my reasons. 

I personally don’t use that as criteria for reading or not reading a fic.  

I personally find a lot of the “top/bottom” discourse really heteronormative, misogynistic, and woefully misinformed about the beautiful complexity of human nature and sexuality.

Reasonable people do have preferences. Reasonable people do not go to authors’ inboxes or fics to harass, abuse, or threaten authors for writing a character in a way that they don’t like.

So, if someone is doing that? I personally believe you should fucking reconsider your life choices.

507 notes • Posted 2021-04-26 20:50:23 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[kendall-coded]

hi guys! i have finished up my last event of the year and i just wanted to take some time to check in and review what i have been able to accomplish!

first and foremost, i would like to say that i will be taking a break from writing and possibly also a break from posting in general. i am not sure for how long, but at least for the rest of the year and maybe into early next year (definitely not for forever!) i am actually going to take a break this time, rather than saying i will take a break and then, you know, not doing it. i am going to be pausing my wips during this time (including all prompt fills that i still have in progress. they’re coming at some point guys, i promise!) the holiday season is not typically kind to me, so i just would like to be able to focus on one thing at a time and avoid any external stressors where i can. i typically write angst and more negatively-charged emotional pieces (as you all probably know by now lolol) and lately they’ve become just a little harder to produce. i would, as a whole, just like to avoid that general headspace during this time haha. regardless, thank you for all the support i have gotten this year, it is hard to wrap my mind around all of the kindness and i just want you all to know that it genuinely means the absolute world to me.

okay anyway sorry about the little feelings dump right off the bat, now for the fun stuff! i published my first (now deleted and buried) teen wolf fic on june 4, 2020 after freshly joining the fandom. over the course of 2020, i wrote 5 fics (then later deleted 4 of them lolol), totaling to about 52,085 words. i also rewrote and replanned my first big piece, which i posted the first two chapters of in december 2020 (i have included the word count of the other 10 chapters in my 2021 wrap up.)

this year gave me so many opportunities to learn and grow, and i feel like this is the best year i have ever had in terms of creative opportunity. this definitely has to do with the fact that i got to meet a handful of other people who have just generally made me better. i also managed to finally hone in on a style that i am proud of and comfortable working with. so, all of that said, i took some time to calculate a few stats for this year and, drumroll please, here’s what we’ve got!!!!

reece’s (sheetghosts) totally legit 2021 ao3 wrap up

this year i managed to:

- write a total of 252,520 words across 21 fics (a very drastic change from 5 fics totaling 52k in 2020 haha!)

- write and delete 15 fics, totaling 73,210 words (which would have put the original count to 325,530 words across 36 fics for the year…may they rest in peace.)

- bookmark 35 fics/series (i have not gotten to read as much as i would have liked this year ):)

- participate in 5 events (sterek big bang // we’ve become trees, hale week // if the moon walks out (the sky will understand), sterek reverse quickie // mark me like a bloodstain and inventing monsters, sterek week // buried like a dog (only posted to tumblr), and sterek secret santa // to be revealed later in the month.)

- write for two fandoms (only one small ficlet for a different fandom…teen wolf has me in a chokehold. but hey, it still counts!)

well, that’s a wrap on 2021!!! thank you to everyone who has supported me. we’ve become trees is almost at 500 kudos which just, like, rocks my world. the responses i’ve received for my works this year have been so unwaveringly kind and supportive. whenever i’m not having a good day, i go through and read my comments. i cannot truly say i’ve ever gotten a nasty one, for which i’m so grateful (also uhhhh knock on wood lolol.) you’re all the best and your engagement/interaction with my content has genuinely made me into a better writer. i have cherished all of your stories where you have shared personal anecdotes with me and how my works have helped you or given you a safe space. it is so surreal and it makes me feel so much bigger than i am. so, thank you all for an absolutely wonderful year and i look forward to what 2022 will bring!! i will see you all on the flipside <3

[asterekmess]

I’m fairly new to the Teen Wolf fandom (Dylan O’Brien is the only reason I even bothered to watch the show), but I couldn’t help to notice that there’s a scary streak of abuse apologism in the Scott McCall Defense Squad. Scott can repeatedly gaslight, belittle, victim blame and dehumanize his best friend, assault rape and abuse victims to prove how much better and superior he is, and treat everyone like shit to his heart’s content. But it’s okay! Scott did it out of love! Scott is a True Alpha!

Oh well welcome to the fandom! I’m sorry that your introduction doesn’t seem to have been all that pleasant. I’m a bit torn here, because while I know that there are fans of Scott who truly, honestly believe these things and think they’re okay, I’m also very much aware that the show is built to make them think that way.

I think I made a post recently where I talked about the show’s framing telling us repeatedly that the ends justify the means, but only when Scott is the one doing the means. When we see Derek bite the teens and train them to fight by hurting them and generally treating them like crap, in order to have a pack that could protect itself so that he wouldn’t be killed by the Argents when they come to town, it’s very clearly portrayed as bad. As it should, because however much I love Derek and the Betas, his behavior with them was inexcusable. Explainable, but inexcusable. However, when Scott does similar things, like lying to everyone around him including his best friend, and putting the same teenagers he swore to protect because “they’re innocent, that makes them my responsibility” in serious danger by working with the man who wanted them dead, or in a slightly more recent note ducttaping a terrified teenager into his bathtub, this behavior is explained AND excused. Yes, there is sound (awful) logic behind Scott’s choices both in S2 and what he did to Liam. But that doesn’t make any of it okay. Except that, the show Does say it’s okay. There are fans of the show who are Scott Fans (tm), but there are also a LOT of fans of the show who only like Scott because he’s the ‘protagonist.’ They aren’t entrenched in fandom and meta like we are. They don’t want to look past the surface and that’s okay, because just wanting to enjoy a fun show about werewolves isn’t an unreasonable request.

And for those people, there’s no reason for them to feel that Scott did anything wrong. The show Constantly tells them that he didn’t. That what he did was Just and Correct and the Right Thing to Do. While to some of us it might be incredibly obvious that what he did was awful, other people (usually people who don’t have experience with these toxic behaviors/traumas) don’t instantly make the connection between Scott making Derek bite Gerard, and the abuse Derek suffered under Kate. They just see the climax of the episode and the Plot Twist of Scott being one step ahead of Genius Gerard.

Now, for those that DO entrench themselves in fandom, who spend all that time looking at meta and examining the characters to find their motivations/construct personalities and lore about the characters and STILL do not see this behavior...them I try not to interact with. It’s toxic and it’s horrible, and it’s upsetting to deal with. It’s frustrating to know that I can look at my favorite characters and acknowledge that they did some fucked up things. Sure, I usually blame the writers, but I also accept that it DID happen and the characters aren’t perfect. I can change all I want when I write au’s or make hale pack shitposts, but I know what is canon. And for some reason, these people can’t do the same with Scott. They cannot look at him and see his flaws and toxic, disgusting mistakes, while also liking the character. If I’m being really salty, I’d say that it’s because those behaviors and that mindset is so much a part of Scott’s core being that if they ever acknowledged it, their entire view of Scott’s sweet puppy personality would crumble, and they aren’t willing to lose it. For some people, I really do think it may be about his race. Representation for mixed race kids is rare. And So Often they’re this half an episode character who dies or is the kid that peer pressures others. The villain. And Scott, however much we dislike him, IS portrayed as Teen Wolf’s Hero. I don’t blame people for wanting to see a hero in him. For clinging to that representation that they Deserve. But doing that involves outright refusing to acknowledge canon elements of Scott’s story.

I would highly suggest just staying out of that fandom space. Don’t interact with it, don’t get in fights (this is hypocritical of me bc i’ve been blocked by more than one scott fan for getting in arguments with them), just avoid it entirely. Curate your online experience so that you can enjoy fandom and feel safe with the fans you interact with.

If you ever wanna talk Sterek, my ask box is always open. XD

[thebigoblin]

For some reason i was listening to this is home - cavetown and came to the crushing realization that if fits sterek kinda well???? Its always been my song for comfort but the other day i was listening to it and got slapped in the face by sterek feels-

I just listened to it right now (x) and I have soooo maaaanyyy feeels. Goddammit, Sterek. Let me have one hour in peace.

Anyways. So.

Often I am upset that I cannot fall in love but I guess

This avoids the stress of falling out of it

Are you tired of me yet?

This is soo Derek. He has been burned by love (both literally and figuratively), first with the death of his first love (which he had to do, even if it was a mercy killing he did kill her) and then he thought this woman loved him enough to want him as he was: broken, young, inexperienced. Grieving.

And then Kate showed him exactly what it means to love someone like him.

It always ends in death.

So now Derek doesn't fall in love. He doesn't even make friends, doesn't socialize. He doesn't let anyone enter the fortress of his solitude, not even Laura, knowing he is the reason they've lost their pack. He doesn't deserve that kind of love.

He waits for Laura to tire of him. To be frustrated and angry at him, to tell him he means nothing to her anymore, because even though he hasn't told her he knows why the fire happened—knows who did it—he is been nothing but a thorn in her side, anything but helpful in her endeavor to help rebuild their lives.

He waits and waits for Laura to tire of him, to kick him out of the two person pack—and she does. But not the way he wanted.

She dies and leaves him alone and there is no one to nag at him to get his shit together, to make him see that he can be loved, should be; but it's not at all what he wanted.

I'll hide my chest

And I'll figure out a way to get us out of here

This can be both Derek and Stiles... but I see it more for Stiles. Idk why.

Derek plays his cards close to his chest, but he does all he can to try and protect the others. We don't really see him be anything but angry in the earlier parts of the show, and you can't make me believe that the person who gave up his Alpha powers for his sister, who trusted Peter (when he was the Alpha) despite the things he'd done simply because he's family, won't be grieving for the only family he thought he had.

And then there's Stiles. Stiles '147 pounds of pale skin and fragile bones. Sarcasm is my only defense' Stilinski who is human and logically the weakest person in a show of mythical creatures. And he is. He is weak. Physically, he knows he can't take on Peter or the Kanima or the Alpha Pack. And he is terrified of that. But you know what he does? He fights in spite of that. He talks, he plans, he misguides, and he fights. He fights because he won't let anyone hurt him or the ones he wants to keep safe.

Stiles, too, 'hides' his true feelings and figures out a way to get them out of their problems. (Does that make sense??)

Are you dead? Sometimes I think I'm dead

'Cause I can feel ghosts and ghouls wrapping my head

But I don't wanna fall asleep just yet

This one is kinda self-explanatory isn't it... Derek is haunted by his past and it's made him into a person who can and is willing to sacrifice his own life without a second thought.

'I know what I'm risking. My life for theirs.'

He doesn't exactly have anything to live for. But he's brave. He's going through hell and he keeps going.

He doesn't want to sleep. Not yet.

Get a load of this monster

He doesn't know how to communicate

His mind is in a different place

Will everybody please give him a little bit of space

Get a load of this train-wreck

His hair's a mess and he doesn't know who he is yet

The first two lines... these are also self-explanatory. I see this as things Stiles thinks (not the monster part, not once he's rationalized that mythical creatures exist in the world) about Derek. (Honesty, I think we all think that lol).

Derek is not good at communication. He wants something but he does something else. He wanted Isaac to leave him so that The Alpha Pack can't leverage his third beta against him, hurt him/kill him like Erica (and Boyd, but I don't remember if he was alive during this time or not), but the way he made Isaac leave was to bank on Isaac's trauma—if I am remembering correctly, this is when he throws the glass at Isaac.

Derek is so not good at communication. And he is definitely a train-wreck; he never wanted to be the Alpha and he still becomes one. He never wanted for Laura to come back to BH (probably why he himself didn't come back here while she did) but she did anyways and he lost her. He didn't want to kill Peter, but he had to anyway.

He lost who he was in the chaos of his life. And he doesn't know who he is anymore—he isn't even the Alpha anymore, he's lost that, and he's been human too.

He keeps losing who he is. He keeps losing his identity.

Derek Hale doesn't know who he is supposed to be.

But maybe...

But little do we know, the stars

Welcome him with open arms

...This is how it was supposed to be.

Maybe this was all fate. All of it, from the loss of Paige to his evolution, maybe it was all mapped out in the stars. Maybe it was supposed to happen.

Just so he could find who he is.

And who he is? He's the best legacy his family could have asked for. He's a predator, and he's a killer, but he's not a cold-blooded killer. He's strong, he's brave, and he is good. He's someone who has had the worst life but come out of it a brighter person, a burning sun; a moon that shines brighter the more that it wanes, because Derek? He's learned to hide his craters, and he's learned to live with them.

Alternatively, though, 'the stars' could also mean Stiles (his moles, scattered along his skin like constellations), the only one who opened his arms for Derek even when he didn't have to. Like saving his life even when they weren't anything to each other.

Time is slowly

Tracing his face

But strangely he feels at home in this place

Time heals wounds, doesn't it?

Derek gets better with time. He doesn't just live, but he's alive. He is living.

Since I've gone full canon up until now, I'll continue post-canon here: Stiles and Derek, we know how their story goes up till S6B. We know how much Stiles means to Derek and Derek to Stiles, even if it wasn't strictly said aloud in canon.

We know.

And I... well. I think that Stiles and Derek say it aloud. To each other. How much they matter to each other.

It might be during one of those high-tension missions, the pack preparing to fight against Monroe, making plans and doing everything they can. Stiles is planning, laying out rules and objectives and making sure to drill into one of them how important this is, and Derek watches him and he watches Lydia, the girl who has Stiles' heart. (Only she doesn't, and she knows it).

And then Stiles says he will come, too. But it's too dangerous.

Derek immediately objects.

Everyone goes deathly silent. Because Stiles is the one who is 100% capable of them all, who is the best on their side (being FBI does that, as does being part of ops like this since he was 16, even if Stiles wasn't as badass as he is now).

Stiles is angry.

"So, what, you wanna be the martyr, then? Is that what you want?"

Derek is angrier. (He is terrified).

"You'll get hurt!"

"I will not! Even if I do, it's my fucking job—I'll get hurt if it means keeping you all safe!"

"You can die!"

"So I will die!"

"No, Stiles, you will not. I—"

"What do you mean I will not—"

"—can't lose you too!"

Yes, this is total cliché, but I am a total simp for cliché so :D

And yeah, after? When they've defeated Monroe and are back to 'normal,' Derek and Stiles fill the parts of each other that they've lost over the years. They make a home for themselves. In each other, with each other.

(And okayyyyy, wow. I did not mean to get so into this but... here we are. I totally obsessed over this lol).

(Also this is a beautiful song, if a bit sad? Anyways, now I have a new song to listen to so thanks <3)

[jmeelee]

Except at Waffle House

A Sterek AU inspired by that ridiculous Reddit post about the girl who’s BF keeps fighting the cook at Waffle House.

As far as boyfriend’s went, Braeden hit the jackpot when she met Derek Hale. She hadn’t been looking for a partner when she’d stepped into the first class of her Master’s program, but there he’d been, sitting dead-center of the third row in the cavernous lecture hall.  Derek was… different.  Intelligent, well-read, handsome, driven; he’d weathered tragedy and trauma with elegance, emerging on the other side with a soft-spoken grace.  He made Braeden laugh with a wit so dry it kindled a fire in her belly.  To other women, Derek’s obscene good looks—chiseled jawline, soft hair the color of midnight, ass you could bounce quarters off of—might have been his biggest draw, but for Braeden, it was Derek’s hard-won composure.  When she decided to drop out of the Federal Marshall program and pursue her own independent career, Derek never batted an eye.  When she came home from dangerous missions sporting cuts, scrapes and bruises, he didn’t rage over her playing fast and loose with her own welfare.  He simply said, “I’m glad you’re home safe.”  Derek never yelled, never lost his temper, never fought.  He was a dream come true.

Except at Waffle House.

Truth be told, Braeden didn’t love Waffle House, but food was food and a girl’s gotta eat. Derek, however, had some deep-seated appreciation of the greasy chain that stretched back into his childhood, before his parents and older sister died. So while she preferred to eat elsewhere, Braeden found herself at Waffle House a few times a week, feeding Derek’s desire to reconnect with fond adolescent memories.

“Service might be a bit slower today,” said their usual waitress, who’s bright yellow name tag read Erica.  She plopped an iced-tea in front of Braeden, and a steaming cup of black coffee before Derek.  Erica snapped her bubblegum, pulled a tiny notepad from the pocket of her black apron, and snatched a stubby pencil out of her perky blonde ponytail.  “Boyd’s training a new cook.  What’re y’all having?”

Sure enough Boyd, the owner of the franchise, stood at the grill, patiently pointing at burners and griddles while the long-fingered hands of the tall, thin guy next to him flew around like drunk hummingbirds.  Braeden figured the new cook was replacing Scott, who had quit the line to attend Veterinary school.  When you spent several days a week eating there, the Waffle House family became your family.

Braeden was known to make her way through the various menu items.  Some people had their tried and true staples, but she preferred to throw tradition to the wind. One day it was pecan waffles, the next, chili smothered hash browns.  Today, a cheese steak omelet.  Derek however was a creature of habit.  “I’ll have the--”

“Steak and eggs,” Erica interrupted, graphite scratching over the paper.  “Steak medium-rare and egg yolks slightly runny.  Whole wheat toast, well done.”

“You got it,” Derek said agreeably, handing over his flimsy laminated menu.  “Thanks, Erica.”

They filled the void between placing their order and receiving their food with anecdotes from work and a fast and furious game of hangman on the back of their paper placemats.  Waffle House may be lacking in sophistication, but it’s service was always speedy.        

“Here ya go.” Erica plunked plates in front of them and topped off Derek’s coffee.  “Let me know if you need anything else.” But the call bell rang in the kitchen and she bustled away, already half-way down the aisle.

Three forkfuls of cheesy goodness passed her lips before Braeden realized Derek was poking at yellow lumps on his platter with a stiff triangle of toast, watching the yolks crumble like a house of sand.  She finished chewing, swallowed.  “Derek?  Is something wrong?”

“It’s my eggs,” he lamented.  “They’re super hard.  Not runny at all.”

Had she known the repercussions of her next words, Braeden might have given them more thought.  But unbeknownst to her, she was about to score red on the Waffle House Index of how prepared she was to weather the coming shit storm.   

“Just call Erica back,” Braeden suggested, waving her fork in the air.  “The kitchen can whip up another batch. No big deal.”  

Famous last words.  

Erica flounced over, ponytail swinging behind her.  “Sorry about that, honey,” she chirped.  “The new cook is still finding his groove.  I’ll be right back with the correct order.”

Derek thanked her again but watched with hazel eagle eyes as she brought the plate back to the open kitchen, speaking to the mole-speckled guy at the grill whose bed head hair was barely contained under his dorky paper hat.  Derek squirmed in his seat.

Braeden’s eyebrows furrowed.  “That’s a really complex call-in system these employees need to learn.  And all that crazy code with the jelly and mayo packets?  They’re bound to make mistakes sometimes.”

Derek grunted, watching Erica return with a heaping plate of eggs.  This time they were scrambled.  “These are scrambled,” he said stupidly, blinking at the fluffy little clouds.

Looking down, Erica seemed to see them for the first time.  She rolled her eyes and groaned.  “Ugh.  Stiles.”

“Yeah, it’s a style of eggs, just not the one I ordered.”

“No,” Erica shook her head.  “S-T-I-L-E-S.  Stiles is our new cook.  I promise I’ll be back with the correct eggs in a few.”

But ten minutes later a plate of thinly sliced hard-boiled eggs laid out in a flower pattern was placed in front of Derek.  Braeden couldn’t help it, she threw back her head and laughed.  “At this point, I think the cook’s fucking with you,” she told him.

But Derek wasn’t in on the joke.  He pushed the plate away and threw money down on the table.  “Hopefully both his cooking and his comedy routine improves,” Derek grumbled, pulling on his leather jacket.

Maybe now they could finally eat at some different restaurants.

----------

Three days later, they were back at Waffle House.

“There are over 1,500 other Waffle Houses in America,” Braeden said for the millionth time, waving her map app in Derek’s face.  “Look, there’s one twelve miles away.”

“It’s the principle of the thing,” Derek scowled, sending his second plate of eggs back to the kitchen.  First, they were poached, then they were part of a bacon egg and cheese sandwich.

The third time a single slice of toast sat on a wide white plate, a perfect circle cut from the center.  Inside the circle was an egg.  Cooked over-hard.  

Braeden took a fortifying breath of humid maple-scented air.

“Okay I’ve had enough,” Derek yelled, standing up from the booth.  “You,” he pointed at Stiles the cook, who stared back with a wide insolent mouth and tricky amber eyes.  “Take this garbage back and cook my eggs the right way.” 

Stiles slowly pulled a dirty apron over his neck, dislodging his ridiculous hat, and sauntered around the counter on long legs to stand in front of Derek, crowding into his personal space.  Toe to toe, there was barely any difference in height between the two men, though their body types varied greatly.  Derek was built like a brick shithouse, Stiles like a twink.  

“Is there a problem, dude?” Stiles asked coolly, with the poker face of an Easter Island head. The only crack in his stone facade was the tiny quirk at the edge of his pert lips.    

“Yeah,” Derek growled, pushing a finger into Stiles’ thin chest, “my problem is you and your shitty egg cooking skills.”

“Shitty?” The quirk blossomed into a fully grown smirk.  “I’ve made you several plates of superb eggs, dude.  It’s not my fault you won’t even try them.”

“Quit calling me dude.”

“Sure thing, buddy.” Stiles winked and stared Derek down like a cowboy in a duel with nothing left to live for.  Where had Boyd found this sadist cook?

“My name is Derek. Not buddy. Not dude.  Derek.” The words leaked out between Derek’s clenched teeth. Braeden could slice American cheese off his jaw right now.

Stiles smiled like he’d won the lottery, angling his body slightly away from Derek, but never breaking eye contact.  “Hey Waffle House, Derek here thinks my eggs suck.  Do all of you fine, upstanding people think my eggs are good?”  Stiles got several thumbs-up, two enthusiastic whistles, and one wrinkled middle finger from a white-haired man hunched over at the service counter.  Stiles gave the guy a thumbs up. “Thanks for your honesty mister.  It’s much appreciated.”

“What the hell was that?  What are you trying to do?” Derek was snarling, and the look between both men was lethal. Eyes sparked.  Lips wetted.  Fingers twitched. Braeden held her breath, sure fists would start flying at any second.  Derek made muted sounds of rage worthy of an aspiring ventriloquist. They were too close, puffed out chests a hair's-breadth apart. 

Stiles shrugged.  “My Waffle House, my rules.  Rule number one, pull that stick out of your ass, Derek.”

Derek took Stiles by the surprisingly broad shoulders and backed him into the coat rack.  “Next time I’m here, you’re gonna make me my food the way I order it.”

As quick as it started, the altercation was over.  Derek backed out of the overcoats, and Stiles came stumbling after like two teenagers emerging from a closet after seven minutes in heaven.  Derek made a beeline for the exit.

“Oh yeah?” Stiles yelled at Derek’s retreating back.  “I'll show you sunny side up!”

The whole thing was made even more ridiculous by the merrily tinkling overhead bell as Derek slammed outside.

_______

“Feeling up for trying Schwarma tonight?” Braeden asked when they pulled into the lot and parked next to Stiles’ run down blue Jeep.

“Not a chance,” Derek replied, practically backflipping out of the Camaro.

----------

“Derek, NO!” she said.

DEREK, YES he heard, and Derek, her Derek, the pinnacle of poise, yeeted himself over the counter, grabbing the yellow crossover uniform tie around Stiles’ neck.

----------

“At least Stiles didn’t spike Derek’s drink with meth,” Erica shrugged.  Today the two men were rolling around on the greasy tile floor.  

“Are you being ironic?” Braeden asked, taken aback by the seriousness of Erica’s tone.

“Waffle House is an irony-free zone,” Boyd informed her with a straight face. “I’m just thankful there’s no AR-15s or nudity today.”

“Yet,” Erica leered.

What the hell happened at Waffle House?!

----------

“I’ll have an Angus patty melt, and a slice of Aunt Maggie’s Triple Chocolate pie, please,” Braeden ordered as chaos descended around her.  “It’s like when I have food in front of me, everything is beautiful and nothing hurts.”

“That’s the magic of Waffle House,” Erica said sagely.

“It’s something,” Braeden replied. 

----------

She was scattered, smothered, covered in food debris, collateral damage from Stiles and Derek’s ongoing war.

“Don’t worry, Hunny,” a friendly woman in the adjacent booth told her.  “Throw a tide pod in with that shirt and the stains will come right out!  Just don’t eat it like those crazy kids are doing these days.”

“Who in their right mind would eat a tide pod?” Braeden asked.

  The answer was a serious side-eye.  “Who in their right mind would keep returning to a restaurant to tussle with the cook?”

Touche.

----------

Waffle House had a special Valentine’s Day candlelight dinner, which Braeden could have happily gone her whole life not knowing about or participating in.  

Erica sat them right next to the fancy new digital touchscreen jukebox.  Stiles came out, fed the machine twenty dollars, and set it to play “I Touch Myself” by Divinyls two-hundred and forty times on repeat.

Braeden wasn’t sure if Derek touched himself that night, but any guy who took her on a Valentine date to Waffle House and proceeded to fist-fight the cook certainly wasn’t going to be touching her.

__________

Braeden parked down the road and walked to Waffle House, unsurprised to find Derek’s car in the parking lot.  She’d quit going with him two weeks ago. To so many hungry, lost, and seriously hammered people, Waffle House’s warm yellow glow was a beacon of salvation.  For Braeden, who watched from the peaceful vantage point of the parking lot as her boyfriend grappled the skinny cook into a headlock and proceeded to give him a vicious noogie, it would forever be a reminder that Derek was the perfect guy for her, except when it came to Stiles.  Once upon a time, Braeden appreciated the fact that women everywhere were always looking at her man. He turned heads, but none of them ever seemed to turn his.  Except at Waffle House, and it wasn’t a woman.

Derek walked out of the restaurant twenty minutes later to find her sitting on the hood of his black Camaro.  “You’re breaking up with me, aren’t you?” he asked, monotone. She wondered at Drek’s equanimity, which has always seemed so inviting to her before.  Maybe Braeden just didn’t inspire passion in Derek, the way Stiles obviously did.  

She nodded.

“Is there anything I can say to change your mind?”

She shook her head.  “Not unless you can tell me what this is really about. Not unless you can tell me who you are.  Because this person isn’t the Derek I thought I knew.”

Lately, she’d been thinking a lot about a proverb her mother used to recite when she was younger.  Briseann an dúchais trí shúile an chait. The true nature of someone’s character is revealed through their eyes.  Derek’s head swiveled between Braeden and the view through the glass window, where Erica was helping Stiles off the floor, and Boyd was mopping up spilled chocolate milk, and several patrons were still surreptitiously filming the whole ordeal on their cellphones. Derek’s eyes followed Stiles like a wolf stalking prey.  “Shit, I—”

“Derek,” she said, sliding down the hood and coming to stand before him, “you were an amazing boyfriend and a great guy.”  Braeden sighed. “Except at Waffle House.” 

Derek shoved his fists into the front pockets of his too-tight jeans, scuffed the toe of his sneaker against the brick facade of the restaurant.  “Yeah,” he relented.  “I’m really sorry.”

“Me too, Derek.”  She gently patted his stubbled cheek.  “Good luck with-” she gestured toward the golden fluorescent lights, the black and yellow signage, at Stiles standing stock still and Bambi-eyed behind the counter, holding a chunk of frozen bacon to the top of his head- “whatever the hell this is.  I’ll see you around.”

She waved good-bye to Stiles through the window, who raised a hesitant hand back to her, and walked out of the parking lot.

Roughly a year and a half later, Braeden thumbed through a used newspaper while she waited at her local coffee shop for the barista to call her name.  She flipped from business to sports, passing the society section on her way, when a pithy headline caught her attention.  

Waffle Brawls lead to Wedding Bells.

Huh.  So that’s what all the fighting was really about.

Underneath the catchy title was a byline: “Groom learned sixteen new ways to cook eggs during fearsome flirtation.”

“Caramel Macchiato for Braeden!” 

Braeden tossed the paper onto the tabletop, leaving it open to Stiles and Derek’s wedding announcement, and left the coffee shop with a laugh on her lips.  

You couldn’t make this shit up.  Except at Waffle House.

__________

As per usual tumblr won’t let me link to anything so the Reddit post that inspired this story so you can find that in the notes!  Thanks for reading hope it made you laugh.

[lavender-lotion]

3, 4, 16 (DON'T say cherik), 22, 28

oh my god i absolutely hate you for asking me these aha you’re my favourite person in the entire world 

3. What is the best fandom you’ve ever been involved in?

to date, it’s been X-Men (alt timeline movies, ofc) despite the rocky beginning I had. in this fandom I’ve learned so much about my own writing, and my writing style has grown SO greatly since I first joined and has taken shape into... well whatever the hell it is now, which is something I really like (most of the time)!

I fairly quickly created a small, tight circle of people I really enjoy being around in this fandom, and have since cultivated my own little fandom space that I really, really enjoy. it’s filled with people I love chatting with, people as open-minded as accepting as I am, and it’s a place that I strive to make feel welcoming for all who join, as well! I run an 18+ X-Men Alternative Timeline Movies focused discord, so if you’re interested, join us here! 

I am trying to branch back out into The Fandom a little more after feeling a type of way for some time, and I’m honestly enjoying that a lot too! it’s been interesting to follow some more folk, and I’m really happy to see my dash start to thicken up after being close to barren for so long. 

currently, I have a small group of close friends I care a great deal for (hi, Mid!) that has absolutely made this fandom into one of the best i’ve been involved in. 

4. Do you regret getting involved in any fandoms?

very very very simplified and slightly unture answer: no. every single bad experience has taught me something that I’ve carried into my other fandom experiences, just like life lmao, but for more of a meaty answer to this question: yes. 

so much yes. 

I have SO MUCH regret around teen wolf, actually, for so many different reasons, but I’ve also learned SO much. seeing a server ran in a way I Did Not Like has helped me better mod my own fandom spaces, and I am very anti-totalitarianism and am VERY against showing abject favouritism to specific members, while I also always try incredibly hard to ensure no one feels ignored. I was reminded of how finicky friendships are, and learned not to be the person who puts in the sole work to keep ‘em going (and how to recognize if I am) because... when you stop the friendship might stop, too. I learned NOT to hit on close friends, no matter how much I might want to, and I learned the importance of open, clear and precise communication in romantic endeavours, which was actually a very good life lesson because I’d never been in a situation that could teach me it before. I’ve learned, or, am LEARNING, not to let personal experiences with one-on-one relationships taint my view of a fandom—this one is hard, and is something I am trying very, very hard to work through as I’ve recently been hit with a very strong and very sudden wave of inspiration for teen wolf.

but like, with that all said, I still absolutely LOVE the teen wolf fandom and have had so many amazing amazing amazing experiences that I wouldn’t change for all the bad, and that the bad experiences are really localized to the ship-focused spaces I was in and the personal relationships that I had, NOT with the fandom as a whole which I am slowly dipping my toes back into! I learned so much about myself and my writing during my time in the fandom, and that is another thing I absolutely wouldn’t change for the world. I am over the moon that I’m writing here again, honestly, and the reception I’ve gotten has been SO insanely amazing. 

starker is another one I regret-but-don’t-totally-regret-because-I-learned-shit. starker taught me the importance of 18+ fan spaces, and showed me what can happen when people... aren’t careful. when mods are minors themselves. I learned that cross-generational nsfw spaces are a RED flag, and that they mean GET OUT, and that anyone who would willingly allow minors and adults to mingle over explicit content are people I Do Not Want To Be Around. I learned a lot about myself there on an interpersonal scale, and I found out a lot about my sexuality and kink preferences, too (which was a wild time). while I do very much enjoy the lessons I learned from being in the space I was in, I could do without some of the more negative things I witnessed, even if they taught me a lot. 

16. Are their any popular ships in your fandom which you dislike?

SINCE I CAN’T SAY CHERIK I’m going to have to dig a little deeper and talk about Sterek, lmao. I was really, really, really into Sterek starting around... 2014? I read... fuck tons. absolutely insane amounts of Sterek fic. and I wanna say... around 2015? maybe? there was a really popular trope in Sterek, wherein Derek would push Stiles away (by being mean, by pretending to date one of the Pack (usually Erica), by bullying him, by telling him the pack didn’t want him, etc, etc) so that he could... keep Stiles safe? it almost always went the same way. there is a threat no one told Stiles about, Derek did “what he had to do” to keep Stiles safe (i.e cutting him off from all his friends and massive, obvious crush) and then when Stiles got hurt, the pack would come to his rescue and save him (only after Stiles got a little beat up), and then Derek would care for him, or not leave his side, or check up on him, and Stiles would wonder why he cared after everything that had happened and... bam. Derek would admit his undying love. And Stiles would just like forgive him and they’d get together and be happily ever after as a pack and...

that was so damaging lmao??? I can’t even tell you how many fics fitting into this trope that I read, to the point where I was like... “wow Derek loves Stiles so much he’s such an amazing person for keeping him safe by pushing him away and making him feel isolated and alone and hated” BUT LIKE WHAT. WHAT. that’s horrible??? so so so horrible??? I am so fucking thankful it isn’t something I really saw too much of when I came back around to the fandom around 2017, but.... oh boy. for a ship that I considered an OTP and read like the entire tag of, I have VERY few sterek fics of substance (when compared to the rest of my teen wolf writing) and this is the reason why. 

this trope and it’s absolutely ludicrous popularity a few years ago really, really turned me off the ship. 

22. Is there anything you regret writing?

content-wise: no. very, very easy no. I don’t regret any of the pairings or kinks I’ve written & I don’t think I ever will (I’m very anti-shame, lmao. if you like it, flaunt it). 

but... I do regret some of the emotional labour I’ve put into works? the emotional attachment I have with certain fics, or genres, or pairings, and how I’ve tied them to a specific person or persons. like, I can’t write ageplay anymore, because of how strong the association of ageplay is to someone I cared for deeply and no longer have in my life (and even if I ever manage to write it in general, I’ll never be able to write Steter ageplay). I have 13k of a fic that was supposed to be a surprise gift to a close friend that I hadn’t heard from in... ages, to the point where I gave up on sending the occasional monthly-message. I have one thing I wrote for a dear friend (who never interacted with it) and now I can’t help but feel like the story is awful, despite not doing horrifically stat-wise.  

I write because I love it. I write for people I care about, because writing is a labour of love, and it’s a way I can show them how much I care for them, but... sometimes that bites me in the ass, I guess. 

I’m working on it, lol. 

28. If someone were to draw a piece of fanart for your story, which story would it be and what would the picture be of?

god okay there is NOTHING better than the idea of this. I’ve had a few mood boards made for me here and there, which are always SO loved and cherished and massively appreciated down to my BONES, but I don’t know if I’ve... ever really gotten fan art? I had someone make some really, really cool like... OG bit-moji type art of a couple of my fics, which is amazing and I have it on my phone still, and @hd-hale once drew me a GORGEOUS sheriff stilinski inspired by Daddies’R’Us, but to get FAN ART i would CRY lmao

right now, I think something from to love and be loved by you would feel really, really extra special because even at 6/17 chapters posted, it’s my longest work ever. what would it be a picture of?? hell if i fucking know but probably something that hasn’t happened yet, lmao

[olderthannetfic]

wishforsomewherenew reblogged your post “A New History of Fandom Purges”

”#fandom#i feel like i need to start adding caveats to these reblogs#cuz i agree with the general sentiment of 'theres a reason AO3 exists'#but there should be reminders about the anti-blackness throughout this fandom history and embedded in fandom/AO3 as well#like hello racefail is a thing from fandom history where's any discussion about that in this context#so here's a caveat#fandom is racist

I agree that this is an issue with fandom, but it’s not something I’d tend to include on a list of times things were deleted. There isn’t a campaign to delete fanworks about black characters, just a persistent lack of those fanworks in the first place.

This is also not a problem we will solve by building a better platform or preserving fandom history better. Thus it wasn’t something I felt was relevant to that post.

IMO, a huge part of the problem is coming directly from the media we consume, especially the cinematography and editing. Characters who are awesome and equal on the page are not at all equal once you see the final product.

I did a couple of video meta pieces on how this plays out in The Losers with Cougar and Aisha. (To summarize: The film takes us inside Cougar’s head/emotions making him extra popular to write about and from the POV of because the writer can get inside his head. Aisha is an objectified love interest. She’s super cool, but we’re very explicitly outside her in canon, making her harder to write in fic. The film specifically skimps on empathy with Aisha, just as many canons do with female characters and even more do with black characters. Audiences pick up on and replicate this problem.)

The proposals I’ve seen to fix issues on AO3 seem to mostly revolve around trying to get rid of Reylo, which is worse than useless. There are plenty of black fans of Reylo, and Finn isn’t unpopular. It’s just Finnrey specifically that people aren’t into. We can’t mandate ship popularity. That has never worked and never will.

A lot of the criticism also tends to focus on how “fandom” is all about “two white men”, when, in fact, FFN and many older fandom spaces were aaaall about white het, not white slash. (I’m not saying don’t criticize, just that it isn’t a m/m issue. It’s an all-of-fandom issue. The overabundance of m/m on AO3 is due to historical pressures chasing m/m off of other sites.)

Looking at older fandoms, specifically Rico from Miami Vice (MY FAVE!), I see a lot of situations where fans were interested in black characters, but gatekeepers kept that fic from getting seen. Because everything was in zines, you were at the mercy of the people who had the resources to publish one. If the zine publisher hated your ship, you basically couldn’t share your fic with the fandom. So that’s a case of fic being literally suppressed, but that’s not common anymore.

Today, there is much less structural gatekeeping. That’s one big positive: you can share your fanworks. The issue on sites like AO3 is how easy it is to get lost in the crowd. If you’re making fanworks of something relatively less popular, it’s hard to generate buzz and increase the activeness of that part of your fandom.

I’ve seen a bit of meta about how AO3 has very white ships because it isn’t a safe space for fans of color. I know a number of people feel this way, but I also see a lot of counterpoints from other fans of color saying that they ship Reylo or Sterek or whatever target du jour, and that a safe space for them does not look like an archive where you can stamp whole ships as bad.

Ultimately, I think the actual solution has to come from media itself. We need more canons where black characters occupy the same iddy roles that fandom currently loves. Almost Human was a sucky show, and Fox messed it up (as usual!), but the idea of Almost Human is the kind of thing we need. We need more canons like Leverage or Hustle. Specifically, we need the black actors to be cast as:

the lead with the will-they-won’t they tension with the other lead

the single-perfect-tear woobie

the dashing jewel thief

the snarky geek

And not as:

the supportive best friend, free therapist, and feelings babysitter

And we need more media that is fun genre stuff of the type we already write lots of fic about, only with more black characters. What we don’t need is to turn liking black characters into a moral duty and a source of shame, anxiety, and work. POC being seen as less default and media, including fic, about characters of color being seen as inherently about Serious Depressing Issues is a big part of the problem.

Many of the AO3-related proposals I’ve seen are really about getting rid of Bad Tropes or Bad Ships. I think that trying to promote fic/ships that are less white but otherwise exactly as problematic, iddy, fun, and varied as what is currently popular may eventually work. Trying to get people to do a 180 in their fic tastes isn’t.

That’s what I immediately think of when I see a comment about how we should always include a caveat about AO3 being anti-black.

[kanesfirewalkashotashispyro]

🌸☀️🌷💐💛🌙✨🌸☀️🌷💐💛 i hope 🌸☀️🌷💐💛🌙✨🌸☀️🌷💐💛🌙✨🌸☀️🌷💐💛🌙✨ you’ve been well 🌸☀️🌷💐💛🌙✨🌸☀️🌷💐💛🌙✨🌸☀️🌷💐💛🌙✨ fight to find reasons to smile 🌸☀️🌷💐💛🌙✨🌸☀️🌷💐💛🌙✨🌸☀️🌷💐💛🌙✨ like the moon 🌸☀️🌷💐💛🌙✨🌸☀️🌷💐💛🌙✨🌸☀️🌷💐💛🌙✨ i’ll always be here 🌸☀️🌷💐💛🌙✨🌸☀️🌷💐💛🌙✨ even if you can’t see me 🌸☀️🌷💐💛🌙✨🌸☀️🌷💐💛🌙✨🌸☀️🌷💐💛🌙✨ i care about you 🌸☀️🌷💐💛🌙✨🌸☀️🌷💐💛🌙✨🌸☀️🌷💐💛🌙✨ please take care 🌸☀️🌷💐💛🌙✨🌸

THANK YOU SO MUCH 😭❤️❤️❤️

I want to apologize for the millionth time for not being the friend you deserve, just like for a lot of other amazing people I’ve met here. It became kinda pointless at this point, though, because even trying to imagine what it would be like if I was better at interacting with my mutuals makes me emotionally exhausted, just like the real-life friends who keep maintaining the contact for my behalf as well. I’ve never been a person to know how to deal with people, frontal or virtually, and so, the moment I’m not immediately needed, I disappear.

Moreover, there’s a big, bad event coming up for me which I know of for a year now, and while I’m planning myself a solution to excuse myself out of it, it is undoubtedly going to come with the price of ruining my relationship with my family.

With all of that, it became harder for me to be here. I still come every now and then to like posts, or even reblog if something excites me enough that I can’t help but celebrate it here, but for the most part, I took a long hiatus, even though nothing that happened to me has anything to do with tumblr or any of my fandoms.

It is stupid, of course, because this is supposed to be my very own safe space, and is so much private comparing to facebook and such, but I do feel the social part of the platform enough that I had to distance myself even from here. I keep telling myself that this is the most supportive place I can find on the whole internet (as long I don’t do anything to trigger the cancel culture/fandom trolls, that is), and that no one is able to know anything, but I still feel exposed like everyone know exactly what’s going on in my head even with me only rarely making posts.

I thought of making a new, fresh blog, where I won’t feel bad for neglecting fandoms or any other idiotic thing that prevents me from being visibly active, but I don’t know if I’m able to do anything before I’m through with this hell of October that’s waiting for me.

(btw, Sterek is still a solid, well-fixed thing in my heart, It is the only ship I’ve bought merch of, and I still can’t help but react when I see something about the two of them. I may have taken a break after investing four years of my life writing 300k for them, but I hope I’ll be able one day to keep contributing to the fandom and assisting it staying alive and strong! Thank you so much for your great work of keep doing so in the meanwhile!) 

[zjofierose]

jakdjdjsa you’re good! Thanks for being so polite to some stranger who just sent you numbers loool

It was some fanfic author questions post? I do not remember the exact titles but idk it was funny

I THINK I FOUND IT

8: What is an AU you are doing right now? Do you hate them?

I write...mostly AUs, LOL. I looooove AUs! I love to read about them, I love to write them, I love to tumble them around in my brain until they're all shiny and smooth.

Right now, I am writing a lot of AUs, but depending on what fandom you're in, you may be interested in my Sheith AU where Shiro is "just" a regular astronaut, but gets lost in space for 5 years and then comes home and has to re-integrate into the life that had give him up for dead. Or you might like my Sterek pandemic AU where there's a virus that only affects humans, and Stiles is stuck in a house with the wolves until they can make sure it's safe for him to go home. Or maybe you want to hear about my circus arts YoI AU where Victor and Yuri are trapeze artists and Yuuri is a lyra performer?

3: How many times a day do you whisper "Why am I doing this?"

Many. But they mostly don't have to do with writing, if I'm honest. XP

(thank you for coming back!! i love when people talk to me <3)

[asterekmess]

Recommended Sterek Fic of the Week

I don’t know if I’ll actually post a recommended fic every week, but when the fic strikes me, I’ll let you know.

Hooray for Recommendation Number: Three

Title: Can I...?

Location: Ao3

Rating: Teen and Up

WC: 2k

Tags: Canon-Typical Violence, Canon-Compliant Emotional Issues, Touch Aversion, Post-Canon, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, (Because This Is Fanfiction and We Do What We Want), As Much Implied Smut as You Care to Read Between the Lines at the End, Explicit Consent, Romantic Consent, ALL THE CONSENT

Summary: When Stiles thought about it later, what tipped him over the edge was what he didn’t see. Derek didn’t flinch when the woman slid her hand up his arm; he just froze and then did that horrible fake smile thing that Stiles hated so much. But he’d wanted to flinch, to pull back, and the worst thing was, Stiles realized as he played the scene back in his head that night over and over as he tried to fall asleep, he didn’t think Derek would have let himself move away even if they hadn’t been staking out the bar for reports of bad supernatural activity. Because he’d seen Derek do that before. It happened to him a lot, actually, people touching him. Not just supernaturally, though it sure as shit seemed like every other bad thing coming through Beacon Hills lately liked to take the form of a seductive human and then zero right in on Derek, but pretty much any time the pack managed to convince him to go out, there were hands on him.

Given what Stiles knew about Derek’s history, that… did not seem great. Now what was he going to do about it?

***

In which Stiles woos Derek without realizing it by requesting his explicit consent again and again.

My Notes: Alright, you guys just don’t understand how much feeling I have toward Derek being taken care of and having his boundaries respected, and this fic is like crack to me. Not only does Stiles keep to character, while still being honest and thoughtful, but we don’t lose who Derek is as a person while he uses his words, which is a serious pet peeve of mine. And it’s not just Stiles either, it’s the whole pack, getting reminded to back the hell off and give Derek space and it just gives me such a warm fuzzy feeling in my chest to read this and know that in this world Derek is safe. Consent is required, consent is sexy. 

[tails89]

My world revolves around you

This was on my sideblog, which I have since deleted, so I’m posting this here.

Sterek :)

It starts off innocently enough.

“If you were a chicken, you’d be impeccable.” Stiles snorts at his own joke. “Get it?”

Scott rolls his eyes and groans. “That’s just awful dude, you’re not actually using these on other people, are you?”

It’s like Scott’s words spark an idea in Stiles’ brain. Everyone’s a target. No one is safe.

“Hey Lyds!”

The red head glances up from her notebook.

“The world revolves around the sun-”

Her brows are already drawing together in a scowl.

“-but my world revolves around you.”

Lydia stares down Stiles, but his goofy grin never falters, so she huffs and goes back to her homework.

“Aw, come on. Nothing? That was my best one!” Stiles moans.

Lydia doesn’t even look up. “You’re going to be single for a long time then.”

“Oh, how about this one,” Stiles is pushing aside his books, homework forgotten. “Do you like heavy metal? Because I could teach you-“

“Finish that sentence, Stilinski, and the only reason I’ll be screaming is because you are dead.”

Stiles sighs and reaches for his textbook. Banshees have no sense of humour.

It’s Kira who notices that Derek never seems to be on the receiving end of Stiles’ terrible pick-up lines.

They’re all sitting around in the loft, waiting for Derek to pay the delivery driver and return with pizza.

Stiles tries shrugging it off. “Despite what you guys think, I value my limbs, I’d rather not have Derek tear one of them off because I’ve offended hid delicate sensibilities. I do have some sense of self-preservation.”

Lydia scoffs from her seat.

Stiles twists to glare at her. “I do.”

“Self-preservation? I don’t need to be a werewolf to know that’s a lie.” Lydia uncrosses her legs and leans forward. “You won’t use your childish pick-up lines on Derek, because you actually like Derek.” She raises one perfectly sculpted eyebrow as Stiles’ mouth drops open.

“No, I don’t!” He splutters.

“Wait, what?” God bless Scott and his obliviousness.

Stiles is glaring daggers at Lydia. A silent plea for her to stop. Derek could be back at any moment!

“Getting brushed off by the rest of us is no big deal,” Lydia goes on, ignoring Stiles’ stare. “But you actually have feelings for Derek and you can’t bear the thought of him turning you down.”

“No.” Stiles scrambles, glancing from Scott to Kira. Kira looks just as smug as Lydia. Damn her for bringing it up. Scott looks thoughtful, like the gears are slowly turning in his mind. Making connections, damning connections. “I don’t- It’s not like that!”

“Prove it.” Lydia challenged, reclining gracefully. She’d look right at home stroking a fluffy white cat, like one of those classic movie villains.

“I don’t need to prove anything,” Stiles crosses him arms in front of his chest. “There’s nothing to prove.”

Kira initiates the chant. “Prove it!” She cries.

“Prove it!” Malia is quick to join in.

Liam says nothing from his position on the floor, but his expression is smug.

Stiles turns to each of them, “Yeah, fun. Let’s all gang up on Stiles,” he complains. “Scott, help a brother out.”

Scott shrugs like, what can you do, but damn it his face is positively gleeful.

“Scotty! Scott. My first friend. My best friend. Scotty-boy.”

“We’ve had to put up with it for weeks.” Scott’s tone is almost sympathetic, but it falls short when he smirks and says, “paybacks a bitch.”

“You-” Stiles’ mouth flops open, searching for his wittiest retort. “…suck!

Lydia rolls her eyes. “Real powerful comeback.”

Scott’s jabbing a finger at his best friend. “Stiles, I dare you- “

Stiles feels his eyes roll, out of his head, out of this plane of existence. “How old are you? Six?”

Scott shushes him, ignoring the eyeroll of the century. “I dare you to tell Derek your absolute worst, cringy-est pick-up line.”

“Or what?”

“Or… “ He falters.

Stiles knows Scott doesn’t have the balls.

Strawberry blond hair tickles the back his neck and the banshee whispers, “Or we’ll tell Derek how you really feel.” And just… Lydia Fucking Martin everybody.

Derek chooses that moment to return to the loft, pizza boxes piled high in his grip. There’s yelling and laughter and Stiles prays for the sweet release of death.

All he gets, though, is a nudge and a sharp look from Lydia, so Stiles swallows his mouthful of pizza and takes a breath and…

“Hey Derek?”

Derek turns, hand lowering pizza back onto his plate.

“So, we’re learning about important dates in History at the moment… want to be one of them?”

Silence.

Thick eyebrows draw together in a scowl. But then Scott and Kira are snorting over their shared plate and… and it’s over. Stiles didn’t combust and Derek didn’t look disgusted or tell him to leave and Stiles was probably just imagining the way Derek’s ears flushed red.

It’s later, halfway through the movie, when Stiles feels his phone vibrate in his pocket.

If you were a transformer, you’d be a HOT-obot, and your name would be Optimus Fine.

He gapes at his phone, then sneaks a sideways glance. Everyone around him is caught up in the action onscreen, attention glued to the glowing box. Derek’s no exception, but Stiles can see the light glinting off the mobile he’s fiddling with absentmindedly. And if his cheeks are rosy, it’s probably only because the onscreen explosions are casting a fiery glow over the room.

Still this… this is amazing. Because none of his friends had ever played along with Stiles’ stupid game. And suddenly it’s on.

Stiles texts back. Is your name google? Because you’re the answer to everything I’ve been searching for.

He waits and watches out of the corner of his eye as Derek glances down at the screen that’s lit up in his hands.

Are you the square root of -1 because you can’t be real.

Stiles bites his lip to keep from smiling and turns back to the television. As the credits start to roll he realises he has no idea what they’d been watching.

After that, it becomes this thing that just completely snowballs out of control.

Stiles turns up at the loft, greeting Derek with “is your face McDonalds? Because I’m loving it” and gets to work pulling out his latest packet of research on whatever big bad they’re facing that week.

One time he’s sitting on the couch, easing his laptop off his legs and shooting Derek an offhand comment. “Are you religious? Because you’re the answer to all my prayers.” And chuckling to himself at the look of Derek’s face.

He knows he needs to reign it in before he gets too caught up but he just. can’t. help it. Because Stiles would do anything to watch Derek’s cheeks and ears flush red. To watch the way he tries to retaliate but more often than not, gets completely derailed, mouth moving but words catching in his throat and god damn it, it’s adorable.

“Aside from being sexy, what do you do for a living?”

“I know you’re busy today, but can you add me to your to-do list?”

“Stiles.”

“Hmm?”

They’re alone at the loft. Stiles turned up early to clarify some research he’s been going over about forest nymphs. His laptop is open on the couch, pages strewn across every bit of available space.

“Stiles. I think we need to stop.”

“Uh,” Stiles puts down the sheet of paper he’d been holding. “Okay, I figured we’d wait ‘til the others get here but yeah, a break sounds good.” He shuts his laptop and reaches his arms up into a stretch. “Hey, Derek,” Stiles grins. “You’re hotter than the bottom of my laptop.”

“Yeah, you need to stop that.” Derek’s arms are crossed and he has his brooding face on.

Stiles laughs. “What? That wasn’t even the worst one.”

Derek shakes his head and gives him a pointed look. “Stiles. I know.”

Stiles just stares, eyebrows raised, waiting for the conversation to make sense.

“You don’t have to play this game anymore.” Derek says after a moment. “I know.”

Did Derek know how Stiles felt about him? How did he find out? His heart was racing. Was that- had his stupid racing heart given him away? “You know?” He draws the words out slowly. “And?”

Derek scowled. “And it’s childish and stupid.”

“Oh…” Stiles face fell. There it was then. Derek Hale thought Stiles’ crush was ‘childish and stupid’. Greatest day ever. Not. Still, he needed to know. “Is it- is it the age difference?”

The question seemed to throw Derek for moment. “You and Scott are the same age.”

And now Stiles is thrown too, so he asks. “What are we talking about right now?”

“I’m talking about that stupid dare.”

Which really doesn’t help, and Derek is looking more and more resigned with each question Stiles asks.

“What dare? I’m so confused right now.” Perhaps Derek doesn’t know about Stiles’ feelings after all. Maybe Stiles can still pretend that even has a chance with Derek.

“Pack night. I heard Scott dare you to- “

Oh. That dare. Never mind. Derek had known all along. The illusion is shattered.

“That was ages ago!” Stiles splutters, rising from his spot on the couch. “Why didn’t you say anything?” His hands are in his hair anxiously running through the locks. “God, I feel like such an idiot. This whole time you knew. And what,” he turns on Derek, “you were just humouring me?”

“What?”

Stiles is pacing. “Jesus, you must have been so uncomfortable!“

Derek catches Stiles’ shoulders in an attempt to get his attention. “Stiles, stop- “

“This whole time you knew I liked you and you just let me make a complete fool of myself!”

Stiles jerks free and they stand there in the middle of the living room. He turns to start pacing again, but Derek has a hand around his wrist.

“You like me?”

Stiles tries to tug his hand loose. “Dude, just stop. You just told me you heard the whole thing. You don’t need to play along anymore.”

Derek let him go. “I heard Scott dare you to use the pick-up lines.”

“Yeah…” Stiles clutches his hand to his chest.

“That’s all I heard.” Derek tells him. They both stand there awkwardly for a moment, before Derek breaks the silence. “You like me?

“You- you didn’t know?” Derek shakes his head. “But that’s how this whole thing started. Lydia- Lydia said….” Stiles glances up at Derek and takes a deep breath. “Yes, I like you. Jesus Christ, I like you so much!” The words come out in a rush, like if he doesn’t speak now and speak fast it’ll never happen.

“Lydia was teasing me, so Scott dared me to use my worst pick-up line on you and the whole thing escalated and god, this is embarrassing and you- Jesus, Derek, I couldn’t help it, you just looked… and then you joined in and like, man, they were so bad and I guess there was always a part of me that knew this was going to happen, that you were going to get tired of it and- will you please stop looking at me like that- here it is and I’m sorry okay? Please say something before I make this worse, like this whole verbal word vomit is just digging me deeper and your eyebrows are getting judgier and I-

Warm lips are pressed against his mouth, silencing his outburst.

“Breathe Stiles.” Derek pulls away, watching Stiles face carefully.

“I uh-“ Stiles swallows. “You just…” he trails off.

Derek is still so close. Stiles imagines he can feel the body heat radiating from the werewolf. “If you’d taken a second to breathe, I could have gotten a word in and told you it was okay.”

Stiles takes a step back. “’It’s okay’? Those words don’t fill me with confidence Derek.”

“Okay that you like me.” Derek steps forward.

“Yep, still not feeling it.” But Stiles is smiling now and Derek is back in his personal space and when their lips meet again Stiles is moving eagerly against Derek, tongue darting out to taste what he’s been dreaming of for oh so long.

He pulls back, wondering when his fingers became tangled in Derek’s hair. “But I think I’m beginning to understand,” he says, voice low. “You like me too?” Stubble scrapes against his jaw. “I’m going to take that as a yes.”

“Stiles?” Derek’s breath his hot against Stiles’ neck.

“Yeah?”

“Shut up.”