#it feels a bit wrong to tag this as BL

[wildfang-art]

"(...) Moreover, perhaps it isn’t love when I say you are what I love the most - you are the knife I turn inside myself, this is love. This, my dear, is love." Franz Kafka, Letters to Milena

My fourth entry for 2024's Romencken week, for the prompt "weapon". The quote that is included in this piece is by Franz Kafka, an excerpt from a letter to his lover Milena. It's a quote that instantly stuck with me when I first read it as an angsty, goth-y teenager and it came to mind again when I thought about Roman, Jeryd and weapons. Enjoy!

[wanderlust-in-my-soul]

Currently Watching - April

aka The Masterlist

Because I love a good little list - in alphabetical order! 😊

Regularly updated during the month, latest update 26.04.2025

A little link to my favorite bl-tropes-collection 💙 If you have any ideas or special wishes, just let me know and I will look if I can prepare a set or already did one and tag you 😊

gif-requests are open, but you'll need to have some patience🌼

Here you can find all of my gifs.

At the end you can have a look at what we can expect in April with a MDL link and a link for a trailer (if avaible).

This is guaranteed to contain spoilers!

1. Business As Usual 🇰🇷 (4/6)

I hate the misscommunication trope so much and yet I am still watching and rooting for them! Just talk to each other and tell the other what you're thinking and feeling. Please. Don't live in the past. You still like Jinhwan, right? I know your pride is strong and you don't want to give in to your feelings and that you were wrong. But you are hurting yourself and Jinhwan without a good reason. Let yourself be happy!

2. My Golden Blood 🇹🇭 (7/12)

Story got a little bit better. Still like their chemistry. Still dream about some Tonkla/Nakan action... So Thara is getting weaker. Nakan is getting bolder. Tong is getting more recless. Mark is getting horny. I kinda like it here. And Mark already told Tong and the viewers that he wanted to eat him. Just do it. Please.

3. Perfect 10 Liners 🇹🇭 (8/24)

Yes, I started this one. The first storyline, sorry, but this was really not that good. I am not the biggest ForceBook fan, but they did a decent job with the plot they got. This making out on the other hand. Hello? Might be the best making out of them ever. I am not dissapointed with it. But the story of this grumpy senior who is really shitty and bossy around his nong and makes the latter with this to fall in love with him was not that special. But watchable.

4. Something Is Not Right 🇰🇷 (4/8)

That episode hurt me. I felt so sad for Jeehoon. I am a fan of speaking your mind and if you can't hide it or overcome it, confess. But leaving your best friend and secret crush in the dark like this and treating him like shit, I have no understanding for Bawoo. Your best friend deserves better! Jeehoon deserves better. he is a sweetheart. And he likes Bawoo too so he won't give up on him and I guess will now use the last three days of darting to win Bawoo over. Never thought I'd be this invested in that show.

5. Sweet Tooth Good Dentist 🇹🇭 (4/12)

Is it okay to be angry at a series? I am kinda nagry at the choices here. Do I like drama? Sure. Do I like slow burn? Sure. But do I like a character playing with the feelings of another character, even though we as the viewers know he is lying, and treating the other character not nice? No. I don't like it. That is a weak plot choice to create drama. Let the new potential love interest come into picture naturally, without hurting our main puppy. So for now I am rooting for Jimmy...

6. Top Form 🇹🇭 (8/11)

Give these boys a break! I never thought I'd be this hooked with this series. But the stalking incident really does something for the story. And Akin is growing on me. I am happy Boom got another main role after Chains of Heart and this is an approvement, I would say. I can't tell what is happening next because what is the agenda of the guy-I-don't-know-the-role-he-plays is. But we only have three episodes left and I guess there is a lot of shit going to happen. But don't hurt the grandma!

Finished in April

Series

Goblin 🇰🇷

This was such a strange experience. I really enjoyed the Goblin and the Grim Reaper's friendship. I even liked the Gods and their meddeling. But the relationship between the Goblin and the Goblin's Bride? That felt so weird! She is so young and not only is he in his thirties, but he is over 900 years old! And while I don't have a problem with age gaps, I have a problem with power imbalance. Perhaps because I've experienced it myself... This felt not good. And I didn't believe the Goblin and his love for his bride. And the last two episodes were unnecessary in my opinion. We should have ended here. This would have been a perfect ending for me. But this series had really good parts. I cried a lot and I laughed a lot. Only the romance part was not mine. Overall still a good 7 out of 10 for me.

Close To You 🇰🇷

This is a series with four different stories and pairings. Some of them I liked and some of them were meh. The last one was not my favorite. But overall it is a good little series to binge. I am a bit short on words today, so just a quick rating. A good 6,5 out of 10.

Heesu in Class 2 🇰🇷

I love this series. It is such a little gem. It is not a bl. It is a kdrama with a queer protagonist. This series deals with unrequired love, with the struggles to come out and confessing to your crush, especially when you are queer. There are so many good analyses out there, talking about things I didn't notice. A wonderful experience to read all the text after an episode. And I am so happy those two got their happy ending. But I am also so very much happy that Heesu got the chance to be angry at Seungwon and openly hurting. And they are the cutest freshly in love people out there! Look at their smiles! The world around them was really well built. The sisters were lovely! And I adored Jiyu and Chanyeong. Oh such a good good series. Simple 10 out of 10 for me.

Movie

Short Film

Dropped in April

My Stubborn 🇹🇭 (1/10

This is no surprise, I guess. I tried episode one. But nope. I can't. MFlow is my red flag in the bl world. Well, not the only one, but damn, I won't punish myself through another of their series. There is so much wrong with this series and its first episode. They started the first episode like they did just to get some viewers, because they think we all are horny bastards (sometimes they're right). But not this time! The dialogues... the acting... the kissing... sorry, big no for me! The humor? Nope! Guess I made myself clear enough... I am noping myself out!

Looking forward to in April

Business as Usual - Trailer 🇰🇷 (Apr 3)

Something Is Not Right - Trailer 🇰🇷 (Apr 16)

Secret Ghost 🇹🇭 (Apr 19)

My Stubborn - Pilot 🇹🇭 (Apr 20)

The BangkokBoy - Trailer 🇹🇭 (Apr 26)

My Sweetheart Jom - Pilot 🇹🇭

[emotionallychargedtowel]

Favorite QL Characters of 2024

Thanks for tagging me, @wen-kexing-apologist! And thanks to @abstractelysium for getting the ball rolling with some solid end-of-the-year prompts.

Mitsuya Ayumu, Mr. Mitsuya's Planned Feeding/Mitsuya Sensei no Keikakuteki na Edzuke

I love it when a character really has their shit together in some admirable ways but also has big things to learn. Mitsuya has so many things about life figured out, which is part of the reason Ishida first gravitates toward him. But for all his wisdom and competence in some areas, in others, he's been avoiding facing his fears and challenging himself for way too long—until meeting Ishida starts to change things. I have a particular love for this character as a middle-aged BL-watcher. Mitsuya has ten years on me, but he's still way closer to my age than most BL leads. I hadn't realized how much I wanted—maybe needed?—to see an older protagonist in a BL until I watched this series.

Of course, Yamazaki Masayoshi's performance, and his considerable personal charms, helped a great deal too. His approach to the role was so naturalistic that it seemed like important attributes of Mitsuya's, like his self-acceptance and vulnerability, must be things Yamazaki shares. Who knows, maybe he does. But conveying these things onscreen remains a matter of acting talent and the result is a joy to watch regardless.

There's a moment that really exemplifies this. Although I wasn't pleased that the show didn't include a kiss, there was a moment right when Ishida was about to kiss Mitsuya (before they were interrupted) that I absolutely adore. Ishida makes one last declaration of his feelings and asks if he can stay with Mitsuya, who assents and says, "Enough. I surrender." And he does. He doesn't turn into a "blushing maiden." He doesn't go all floppy (not that there's anything wrong with that). It's a different kind of surrender. When Ishida grasps his shoulders and moves closer, Mitsuya tilts his head a little, looks down, and gives a little shy smile. Then Ishida touches his face and he closes his eyes and lets his head fall further to the side and there's just this quality about him in that moment that is so soft and trusting and unhurried—vulnerability and confidence coinciding again, Mitsuya at his best—that evokes something sexier and more romantic than any number of BL kisses I've seen this year.

Hatano, Zettai BL 2024 (Zettai BL ni Naru Sekai VS Zettai BL ni Naritakunai Otoko)

Regular readers may have noticed that I have a bit of a fixation on this character. I collaborated on a fansub largely because I wanted to see his scenes get translated. I wrote a four-part series of posts about him. Part of the reason for this is undoubtedly that he was played by one of my all-time blorbos, Sekoguchi Ryo. But Hatano also just stands out among the other Zettai BL characters. I mean, there's a reason the series of posts I wrote about him was called What's Different about Hatano. Of all Mob's suitors (and there are a lot of them), he's the only one besides Kikuchi who manages to get to know Mob and spend time with him. He's also the only one of Mob's suitors, period, who shows some awareness of Mob's other life as the main character of a show about living in BL World (albeit in an ambiguous way). And then there are all the other reasons why his approach to pursuing Mob and the way he's situated in relation to Mob make him unique...well, it's all in the posts.

Hatano's uniqueness in the Zettai BL-verse isn't the only thing I appreciate about him, though. At the end of the day, he just makes things happen and keeps things interesting. He pulls off the BL-within-a-BL storyline with aplomb. And I enjoy the way he has this icy, unflappable, unattainable persona with his peers but falls apart and turns into a flustered, agitated wreck around Mob.

Of course, I think Sekoguchi Ryo was wonderful in this role. A big part of playing Hatano is acting like you're in a dramatic scene when you're in a comedy, but sometimes a scene needs the level of deep commitment one would offer in a drama and sometimes it calls for something with a slight undercurrent of irony (without detracting from the genuineness of the character). Sekoguchi walks that line pretty much perfectly. He both sold me on Hatano's sincerity in funny scenes like the fantasy sequence where he responds to Mob's efforts to pawn him off on another teenager by curling up in his lap (!) and broke my heart in the fake angle kiss scene. But I wouldn't have expected any less.

Hayama Asami, 25 ji Akasaka de

I have to admit, I went into 25 ji Akasaka de wanting and expecting to like Hayama. After all, he's played by Komagine Kiita, another favorite actor of mine. (Komagine and Sekoguchi Ryo starred together in Kikai Sentai Zenkaiger and their characters had a well-developed shippy relationship there, which has a lot to do with how much I like them both.) But I'm pretty sure I would have been fascinated with Hayama even without that bias. I love a good mid-series point-of-view revelation, and Hayama had a doozy of one. He ended up being one of the most psychologically complex characters I saw in BL this past year. I'm also a sucker for pining, and Hayama pines with the best of them. The episode 9 scene where Shirasaki hits on him with the pretense of needing acting help, forcing him to choose between pushing away the person he wants or being intimate with him in a way that's apparently meaningless, is a contender for the angstiest scene of the year. And I always enjoy when a character who's a huge pining, angst-y mess on the inside seems all cool and together on the outside (see above re: Hatano). With all this, it's no wonder I love Hayama. I don't think it's just my bias talking when I say I think Komagine knocked this performance out of the park. He impressed me immediately with his versatility, since Hayama is almost the complete opposite of his cinnamon-roll-on-speed character from Zenkaiger. He kept impressing me, after which the point-of-view switch episode was another step up. But it was the opening scene of episode 9 that really showed me what he was capable of. Komagine's performance was so subtle, immediate, and affecting that my respect for him went through the roof.

Shirasaki Yuki, 25 ji Akasaka de

Yep, I'm including both leads from this series. That's just how strong the series as a whole is, in my view.

Shirasaki has gotten a bad rap at times. It's understandable—Hayama is a (justifiably) beloved character and Shirasaki puts him through the ringer. Personally, I think he did pretty well given where he was at the beginning of the series and the circumstances he found himself in—including a carefully devised misunderstanding plot that, as @ginnymoonbeam demonstrated in a post on the subject, was written in such a way that his conclusions about Hayama were reasonably well-founded and not just the result of insecurity gone wild or something even more senseless (as occurs in a lot of BLs that are written with less care). But even if you think Shirasaki is a dick, he's still an interesting, vividly-drawn character who's frequently relatable even as he makes choices viewers find frustrating.

One of the aspects of Hayama's point-of-view reveal that I enjoyed the most wasn't about Hayama himself, but the side of Shirasaki that Hayama is able to see more clearly. When Shirasaki's point of view dominates the story, he emphasizes his insecurity. But when Hayama's does, we can see that Shirasaki has a kind of deep conviction about things that can come out in the form of a strident confidence that helps to balance out his self-doubt and self-effacement.

I may be partial to Shirasaki for another reason. I'm going to preface this by saying that this is just my take on this, and a rather tentative one at that. But since it's a real factor in my feelings about Shirasaki, I think it's worth mentioning. I have some significant people in my life who have autism and I've been exploring whether I may belong in that category myself (combined with my already-diagnosed ADHD, just to make things extra complicated). At the very least, I have quite a few attributes in common with autistic folks. You can probably guess where I'm going with this. To me, Shirasaki seems pretty autism-coded. He has strong opinions, to the point where they could seem rather black-and-white, but another way of looking at this is that he has carefully considered his stance on things and once he forms his views, he sticks to his guns. He's really observant about people in some ways, but comes off (to neurotypical folks, at least) as dense in others. (Boy, does that ever sound familiar.) These ways of thinking, and the social weirdness that they can sometimes entail, are very relatable to me and not something I see represented in media all that often, even when characters seem to resemble autistic folks in other respects.

I still yell at the screen sometimes when Shirasaki makes mistakes in this show. But at the end of the day, I think he's a well-written and engaging character, and I have an abiding fondness for him.

I should mention that this character wouldn't be nearly as compelling if Niihara Taisuke hadn't done such a good work in this role. Shirasaki is sensitive as hell and not great at masking, so his face is an open book a lot of the time. Niihara does a great job of giving the audience something to read there.

Fukaya Kai, Perfect Propose

Just as I went into 25 ji with an agenda to like Hayama, I went into Perfect Propose with an agenda to like Hirokuni. I loved Kaneko Shunya in Ultraman Trigger and was excited to see him in this role. And I did like Hiro very much, and I was impressed with Kaneko's portrayal. But what I wasn't expecting was how much I would like Kai.

Part of it is just that Kai is a type of person I don't see very often in BL specifically or media generally. He's a direct, forthright guy, but doesn't show a ton of affect in his face or his voice. Whereas a lot of BL lead characters are pretty neurotic, Kai generally doesn't waste much thought on things that aren't truly important to him. He doesn't always share what he's thinking and feeling, but he also doesn't beat around the bush. One of the most striking examples of this is the time he offers to jerk Hiro off to help with his insomnia, but he also shows this tendency in other ways that grab the viewer's attention a bit less. Kai does have his share of insecurities, even if he doesn't show them very often. But his abiding faith in Hiro and their potential to be good partners to each other is sincere. Being so direct and so steadfast means that Kai is remarkably trustworthy, something that Hiro eventually grows to understand.

So Kai doesn't resemble a lot of BL lead characters. But he does resemble real people I've known in my life. I think part of the reason for this may be subtle gender coding that comes into play in BL writing. It's not inherently feminine to express your emotions, of course, nor is there any contradiction between masculinity and emotional expression. But there are more stoic types of masculine presentations that we don't see portrayed in a sympathetic light in romance plots that often, and stoic masculine people can have a particular kind of charm.

I'd be remiss if I didn't mention Nomura Kota's performance in this role. It's really restrained in a way that actually seems like it would require a lot of effort, particularly when you see in promotional settings that Nomura is much more animated than his character. Not that he shows that effort onscreen—he just seems like Kai.

honorable mention

Tanaka Kazuhito, Living with Him/Kare no Iru Seikatsu

In the end, this series didn't really do justice to this character or to Sato Ryuga's admirable performance in the role. It seems to have fallen victim to some adaptation pitfalls, from what I've heard. But when this show worked, Kazuhito was fascinating, complex, and endearing, and Sato brought him to life with a combination of restraint and subtle intensity that got stuck in my head between episodes.

characters whose shows I watched for the first time this year

Ai Di, Kiseki: Dear to Me

What is left to say about this dude that hasn't already been said? He's one of the most highly concentrated characters ever to appear in a BL. If a typical BL lead were a glass of fountain soda, Ai Di would be yanking the tube out of the back of the machine and drinking straight syrup. And he wasn't even one of the leads! But he's not reliant on screen time. In a system full of gas giants, he's a little neutron star whose gravitational pull draws audience members' attention to him so strongly that his supporting character status becomes irrelevant. He's the littlest meow meow, the babiest girl, the most chaotic gremlin. A walking ball of trauma whose picture should be in textbooks next to the definition of disorganized attachment. And I haven't even gotten started on the outfits. I was a bit behind the zeitgeist when I watched Kiseki early this year, but I made up for lost time by getting an intense case of brainrot and engaging in some seriously excessive rewatching. Like so many other Kiseki appreciators, a big part of my interest in the show was driven by Ai Di.

It's impossible to talk about this character without acknowledging the seriously remarkable job Louis Chiang did in this part. I don't think Ai Di would have been nearly as fascinating if a different actor had played him. Chiang showed so many sides of Ai Di and every single one of them was so vivid and fascinating. That much-discussed intimate scene is his pièce de résistance, but it's just the tip of the iceberg. I'm sure I'm not the only person who is watching with great interest to see what Chiang does next.

Sky, Love in the Air

I didn't know what to expect going into Love in the Air, which is part of the reason I didn't watch it sooner. The second half of the series ended up blowing me away in a lot of respects. It has its issues, certainly. Sometimes the portrayal of Sky's trauma history and its present-day effects verges on being sensationalistic enough to feel exploitative, though it never crossed that line for me. But for the most part, I found that it resonated with my experience as a survivor of partner abuse and sexual violence to a remarkable degree.

Sky was written well, with a rare degree of understanding of interpersonal violence and the effects of trauma. But the character wouldn't have worked nearly as well if not for Peat's sensitive, nuanced performance. In a show with a lot of oversized characters, Peat wasn't afraid to dial things down in a way that ultimately made a bigger impression.

I'm going to be thinking about this one, and probably rewatching it, for a while!

character from a non-QL

Daichi, Ossan no Pantsu ga Nandatte Ii Janai ka!

For the first part of Ossan no Pantsu, Daichi functions primarily as a way for Makoto to learn and become a better father, partner, and boss. For a while there, he's in danger of becoming the gay equivalent of a "magical Negro," albeit one so adorable and wise beyond his years that it's tempting to ignore the fact that he occupies such a role in the story. Then Daichi turns out to have his own challenges—significant but ultimately manageable problems that Makoto sometimes exacerbates, but eventually helps with, rendering their relationship less one-sided. But it's only in the final arc of the show that we see that Daichi has been carrying around a much more profound wound than was hinted at before that point—and now Makoto, thanks in part to Daichi's help, is able to provide real support as he copes with its effects.

This progression works well to support Makoto's journey through the story and then afford him an opportunity to prove how far he's come by returning the favor, but it never felt contrived to me. After all, I've run into my share of overfunctioning young people who have done an admirable job of making up for the support they didn't get from one or more of their parents and ended up with a lot of valuable perspective that belies how much unresolved hurt they're carrying around. It's a type of person one is more likely to run into in queer communities given the risk of parental rejection that comes with it, so it's no coincidence that Daichi fits that bill completely.

Nakajima Sota seems a bit green to me in this role, like he's still working through a little bit of stiffness. He's charming enough that I hardly noticed this while I was watching OnP, though, and he seems to show growth as an actor just through the course of the series. He's a great fit for the part regardless, bringing a degree of warmth and charismatic sparkle to it that helps to justify why a stubborn middle-aged man would put so much stock in the opinions of a college student.

[luminescentchimera]

Hatchetfield TMA au!!!

Hi, this is only for fun! nothing wrong with people having different aus or interpretations. This is mostly just me putting the things that happen in the Hatchetfield universe under the context of the Magnus Archives universe.

Spoilers for both volumes of Nightmare Time, The Hatchetfield Trilogy, and TMA up to season fourish below cut. Please warn for spoilers for specific TMA episodes in the comments/reblogs as I'm in mid season 5 on my listen.

These are my thoughts on the LIBs, Webby, and related entities/locations.

The tag I will be using for this AU is Chimera's Hatchetfield Archives in case people want to block/follow.

( @gremlynn-x )

The Lords in Black and Webby are not the easiest to fit into the world of The Magnus Archives. I'd say they're sort of extensions of The Entities that only really affect the town of Hatchetfield and a couple other locations.

Blinky is one of the easiest, he's some sort of extension of The Eye. His whole thing is Watching. With his specific focus on watching violence, I’d say there are hints of The Slaughter and maybe The Desolation. But definitely mostly The Eye.

Tinky is also pretty easy. To me he's very clearly related to The Spiral. His main actions are driving Ted insane and trapping him inside of the Bastards Box. It also fits with his general demeanor which is typical of people and things that are connected to The Spiral. He's also connected to The Vast with his title “The Bastard of Time and Space” and his trapping Ted for eternity. 

Nibbly is related to The Flesh. With his whole ritual (not in the Magnus Archives sense) having to do with pigs and the idea of humans being seen as food that's very clearly related to The Flesh. Nibbly also has some connection to The Desolation with Linda having to cause many people to lose so much to become Honey Queen. (Linda and Zoey cause each other to get more and more invested in causing each other hurt and loss)

Pokey is slightly more complicated. An argument could be made for The Lonely, The Stranger, The Extermination, and The Web. All of these come from Pokey wanting to create a hive mind where he is in control of everything. I personally choose to focus on the aspects of him that are related to The Lonely and The Extermination. He can't stand to hear others' voices. To me this is more connected to The Lonely than it is to other fears. The Extermination part comes in with the idea that humanity will be replaced by this new group created by Pokey. The reason I feel he's less connected to The Web is because the fear doesn't come from the idea that you're being controlled, the fear comes from the idea that your humanity is being replaced. And if you look at Stranger related statements, such as Zombies, the fear is people being different, but that's not what’s scary, what’s scary is EVERYONE being different, or replaced.

Last of the Lords is Wiggly. Wiggly, to me, is most related to The Slaughter, The Desolation and The Extermination. In Black Friday is that he makes people feel like he can make people love them, causing them to turn to violence and obsession. The violence is more of a connection to The Slaughter. But the focus on what people want, which is even more prevalent in Nerdy Prudes Must Die where he says that one of them must give up that which they care about the most, is more connected to The Desolation. And what could be more violent than the end of the world. The nuclear war which he causes at the end of Black Friday is a clear link to The Extermination.

Webby is a bit different because she isn't trying to cause fear. However she's obviously connected to The Web  with her spider Motif and her trying to make Hannah alter the future of Hatchetfield through the prophecy she tells her. She also causes some distress in Lex which is more connected to The Spiral; the idea that Webby is an imaginary friend which Hannah is still attached to is something that causes Lex fear.

Tying up a couple loose ends, I'd say the Black Book is connected to The End. Many of its rituals have to do with youth, siphoning power, or becoming undead. The Black and White is a manifestation of the Vast. And the Sniggles are a form of The Stranger which serve different Lords in Black.

[yingdu-lover]

writing all these shits on Tumblr and imagine at the end cxs just dies and lu guang is crying, what a disillusionment. I should focus on my studies.

those were good days when I didn't know how to tag and reblogged without any thoughts or comments. I feel the lyrics of Overthink right now!

everything is wrong, why did I start watching link click, I want my sanity back.

The fact that I started watching link click knowing that cxs will die, but I thought the story was finished with two seasons and Yingdu was just a silly detective extra in London where they become gay detectives and solve cases together and have some fun maybe? If I knew Yingdu was this and there were more seasons to come, I would touch link click four years later when the fandom is tamed, it's well saturated, we know the full story and not into the guessing game. the bane of my life is that link click is a full artistic gourmet meal and I cherish the genius of Haoling and art style of those studios. I wish Lu Guang or Cheng Xiaoshi - any one of them was a girl, canon heterosexual story and I wouldn't bother if they live or die. I wish Haoling never made link click, I hope I never watched it, I hope I never existed

oh it's so funny how the first thought that comes to us when we are frustrated is how to change the past. Not how to forge our future with better vision and motivation. Lol, Lu Guang...both you and me need to accept that whatever happens we have to accept the truth.

I hope Lu Guang moves on.

I hope I move on from link click.

The only thing I know is that I am crying right now and I don't want this feeling.

I am never touching another donghua/anime/any text or media which is not completed yet ever. Bro I thought Link Click was a silly BL. I didn't come for the pain, I came for shits and giggles maybe with a bit of angst, but then the queercoding started feeling very prominent and now I wish Link Click was not queer, why am I feeling this queer tug. I know I am not normal but it's too much? even for a freak like me? I don't want it.

why did I bring myself to this.

[thebroccolination]

🚨TOP KRIST TOP KRIST TOP KRIST TOP KRIST TOP KRIST TOP KRIST!!!🚨

Okay.

LISTEN.

Well, wait. Hang on.

DISCLAIMER: Top/bottom dynamics are not in any way outwardly obvious in reality with real couples at all period. BL is a fictional genre, so don’t ever eeeever use the top/bottom dynamics in BL as your foundation for understanding real queer people ever ever ever ever ever. Real queer people are nuanced and complex and there are tons of videos on social media of people (even queer people!) looking at a queer person and trying to guess top/bottom/vers and getting it wrong.

So, now—

There have been little hints all along that Krist is playing the top role in “The Ex-Morning” and now with the cover portraying his character as taller, that seems to be the strongest confirmation yet.

Traditionally in BL, the top is physically bigger and taller and more masculine than the bottom who tends to be smaller, shorter, and more feminine. Thai BL hasn’t really leaned too hard into that from the ones I’ve watched, which made them feel more realistic to me, but fans in countries like Japan and China love that visually obvious size and gendered difference in their achillean pairs, so we’ll see if Thailand tries appealing to those markets more by leaning harder into top/bottom BL stereotypes going forward.

KristSingto have always been fascinating from that standpoint because physically and height-wise, they’re pretty much equally matched.

There’s no “obvious” top or bottom if you’re judging them by the usual tropes of the genre. So they were unexpected on multiple levels as the pair to begin the massive BL wave in Thailand.

However, Arthit is the bottom in SOTUS, whether or not he fits the physical description. So that’s essentially been the expectation for Krist going forward, to keep doing bottom roles in BL.

And see, people can get very weird about the top/bottom dynamics in BL. Especially among the heterosexual female fans who wouldn’t recognize a real-life queer person if the closet door hit them in the forehead. In Japan, where BL was born, doujinshi sections and markets will even divide the Character A/Character B books from the Character B/Character A books. Even though they’re the same two characters, they must be divided by who tops and who bottoms, otherwise fans can get quite intense about it. I had a Japanese fan once politely ask me why AO3 lists WinTeam with Team’s name first if Team is commonly accepted as the bottom, and I explained to them that AO3 intentionally tags the pairings alphabetically to avoid arguments in the fandom about who tops and who bottoms. So it’s not just in Asia, though I see the fighting over top/bottom dynamics much less in western fandoms nowadays. (Granted, I’m not in many of them.)

I’ve never been comfortable with the division, personally, because I think it can falsely influence how heterosexual BL fans view real-life queer people. And it’s not just me. The application of traditional heterosexual gender roles on fictional BL couples is long-loathed by many queer people for the same reason.

That’s why I’ve been screaming for years to see a BL where Krist plays the top role. While he’s only played two (full) BL characters as Arthit and Kawi, both were bottoms, and I super hate the way some fans have treated Krist himself as a result. Tons of internalized misogyny in the way female fans have feminized and patronized him and told him to behave like a meek little wife, and some of them seem to have fallen into that camp of “so-and-so is the bottom and I refuse to accept any other dynamic.”

(However, while he played the bottom in “Be My Favorite,” that actually ended up being a bit of a subversion since Kit’s older than Gawin, but of course Gawin wasn’t the original choice for Pisaeng, so it was just a subversion by chance. Krist was always going to play Kawi regardless of his partner.)

Funny enough, KristSingto started off in a partial subversion of roles in SOTUS. Kongphob is younger than Arthit, but Singto is older than Krist, so it was only a subversion for the characters. If the casting had stayed with Krist as Kongphob and Singto as Arthit the way it was originally conceptualized, then it would have been a complete subversion on both sides.

So now we have “The Ex-Morning” in which Pathapi (Krist) and Tamtawan (Singto) seem to be the same age, so if Pathapi is the top, then that’s a subversion for Krist as the younger actor who has traditionally played the bottom role.

I think we already had confirmation for the top/bottom dynamic last year—

—but every little additional hint is the wind beneath my wings.

The OG pillar couple switching their onscreen dynamic up this late in the game is supremely cool.

(Of course they could just be vers, too, which I would also be giddy about, but that seems less common, so I have my money on Top Kit.)

[bengiyo]

Hi there. Hope you're doing ok. I have a question, obviously. On a recent reblog you wrote this tag "this show is making me reassess how I engage with GMMTV altogether" And I was wondering if you could explain it further. Also if you don't feel like going into it, feel free to ignore this.

Thanks for the space

GMMTV is doing mainstreaming work at its most queer, something @shortpplfedup reminded me of recently. I've been getting steadily more irate about GMMTV shows and the outsized attention they get on here. It seems like some folks genuinely only engage with GMMTV shows sometimes and that's just not the way I grew up in queer TV and cinema.

This question comes up almost every year, and @absolutebl has already answered the question of whether BL will get more honestly queer, and the answer is likely no. We see this every year that the shows that are closer to queerness get consistently lower engagement. People are here for romance and to be titilated. They are not here for queer drama.

I tend to go into every project and I treat it seriously on its terms. One of the mistakes I've been making with GMMTV shows is assuming they care more about queer issues than they do. I've also made the mistake of thinking they take their shows more seriously than they do. I am reminding myself that GMMTV is creating idols for the purpose of selling concert tickets and getting juice sponsorships. They are rarely going to do anything challenging in a way that reasonably threatens their ability to leverage the talents for appearances and sponsorships. The show is not the goal. The actors are the brand that they are trying to build up and manage.

I had assumed Only Friends would care about queer things in a way that I vibed with, and it didn't. I could spend a lot of time trying to figure out where the show and I started off on the wrong foot, but it doesn't matter. I'm just not having that great of a time with GMMTV BL. This year, I enjoyed The Warp Effect, My School President, Moonlight Chicken, and maybe Be My Favorite. Never Let Me Go was okay, but wobbled. I have not enjoyed A Boss and a Babe, Hidden Agenda, or Dangerous Romance. I'm just fatigued.

It's a bit tiresome to engage at the level I have been. I enjoy writing pieces and engaging with the shows, but Only Friends exhausted me the entire time. Sometimes I realize I'm watching the shows very differently from others and just don't have the energy to write stuff and get "well, actually" comments from people who are annoyed that I'm harshing the buzz or their preferred ship.

GMMTV is really good at engendering the heavy breathing response for its boys in BL fans. I respect their game. It just doesn't work on me. I'm not going to take their shows as seriously as I have been because it doesn't feel like they're taking me seriously.

[negrowhat]

15 Day BL Challenge the Threequel

Day 36: Favourite BL parents/parental figures?

Mr. and Mrs. Kirigun from TharnType the Series/Tharntype 2. I actually loved Tharn's family unit as a whole but I loved his parents, especially in s2. In s1 we got more of Tharn's brother Thorn being a staple but in s2 his parents really shined for me. They always offered Tharn sound advice and pulled from their own experiences as a couple and they treated Type like an actual son. They loved them both together and separately and when Type was beefing with his hubby he was at his in-law's house getting advice from them. He was invited to all the family events and treated as part of the family. They welcomed Type with open arms and helped guide them along the way. I was so happy to see them present for Type's monkhood ceremony. They were never pushy or overbearing just a happy and loving set of parents.

Pete's Dad and Kao's Mom from Dark Blue Kiss. OMG when Pete's dad found out about them I was so terrified because he looked like such a hard ass but he welcomed Kao with open arms. And even though he was hard on Pete about his academics, he was always ready to talk with his son about his relationship problems. He was happy to offer advice to both Pete and Kao not to mention he was always advocating for them to have safe sex. Kao's mom was so patient with her son's coming out. She knew PeteKao were a thing but she didn't push the issue or force him to tell her. She waited patiently and quietly for him to come to her. She protected her son against her trash boss and his son. And she was just always there ready to catch Kao when he fell. Also she really treated Pete like a 2nd son. Both their parents were sweet and loving people.

Leila Lazaro from Gameboys. Listen, I fucking ADORE Leila. She was such a good mom to Cairo. She seemed to have her hangups when Cai came out but she never blamed him for anything that happened even when he blamed himself. She always took accountability for making her son feel alienated in his own home. She sincerely apologized to him and helped him when he was having problems or doubts regarding his relationship with Gav. She allowed her son to temporarily live with Gav so that they could strengthen their relationship and spend more time together before he ultimately had to move out of the city. She gave him room to grow and love and was always there behind him. She was a support pillar in such a new stage in his life. She cried and shared her deepest worries with him. They bonded over their grief and love. They had a beautiful relationship.

Uncle Cheep and Uncle Dej from My Ride. Mork's uncles were gifts from the universe. They didn't even do anything special. They came as their authentic quasi-messy selves. They were there to pick up the pieces of Mork when his trifling girlfriend ditched him. They were there to encourage him to explore his feelings for Dr. Tawan. They gave him sound advice and answered his questions with patience and understanding. They showed Mork what it's like to really love someone. They showed him what family was. They showed him what sacrifice was. They were just two shining examples of where Mork wanted to be later on in life. Sure they had their hangups but they took care of each other and Mork.

Sippakorn and Jaonan from Ai Long Nhai. I don't remember much about Ai Long Nhai but I remember Aiyaret's dads! They showed up and showed out for Ai when his mother basically abandoned him. They raised an intelligent but cheeky son. Sippakorn kept Ai disciplined while Jaonan was a bit softer on him. But I love that Jaonan was the first to knock someone out for even coming at his son wrong. He was so protective of Ai especially when Ai's mother started coming around again. He knew she was up to no good. Also loved seeing a bit of romance between Ai's dad's and I loved watching them tag team parent Ai. They were wholesome.

Ama from Jack & Joker. Def the best Granny I've seen so far this year (and we've had a lot). She's such a strong driving force behind Jack. She's his fucking rock. She stands behind Jack and supports every decision he makes but she's also going to tell Jack when he's being a complete moron. And she's not just there for Jack, she becomes a Granny to everyone who needs her. She's adopted all the neighborhood kids, Save, and now Joke. Joke sees her as more of a parent than his own. She taught him how to cook and welcomed him with open arms. She even played a huge part in Jack and Joke's reconciliation. She's the sweetest, kindest, sassiest woman who's heart is truly her strongest muscle.

[dribs-and-drabbles]

This is a little something (she says and then writes nearly a thousand words) about Kawi and intimacy and his behaviour towards Pisaeng's affections in Be My Favourite ep 9. I've been thinking about it all week but wasn't sure if I wanted to use my precious free-time to make a post. However, on the cusp of the new ep, I realise I do want to get these thoughts out.

I realised from reading other people's perspectives of the ep that my initial assessment of how Kawi was behaving was perhaps clouded by the 'old lenses' that I was subconsciously watching the show through. For context, I wasn't sure that I liked that Kawi kept pushing Pisaeng away and I even mentioned the dreaded Blushing Maiden trope. After some thought, I realise that my initial judgement was very much influenced by a couple of things carried over from ye olden bl times (which may not have been done away with completely but seem to be on their way out in present times).

First, from having seen so many bl/qls with the blushing maiden trope, subconsciously I guess I still expect to see it because it had been so prevalent. And second, despite the re-wiring my brain has undergone when it comes to Krist, I think I still fell back on the earlier presumptions that Krist was either averse to skinship (particularly with men) and/or wasn't a good enough actor to convey physical intimacy (this, of course, mostly stems from his portrayal of Arthit in SOTUS, which for all we know was how he was specifically directed to act - and which many have interpreted as demi- or asexual, which absolutely has a place at the table).

My conclusions to these realisations is that I need to learn to trust these newer bl/qls that they really aren't going to rehash the old questionable tropes of yesteryear.

I remember some discourse before the last three eps of My School President - when we were worried about the ending - about how Bad Buddy taught us that we can feel safe watching it - "safe in the knowledge that tropes were being subverted, that the usual angsty triggers actually got resolved pretty quickly, that the ep 11 curse wasn't actually a curse at all". And we needed to take that knowledge to help assuage our fears about the ending of MSP. And I think I'm in a similar situation here with Be My Favourite and Kawi in particular.

Staying with Bad Buddy for a bit longer (because, really, when can I ever not talk about it in relation to something else?), I remember feeling a similar disappointment with how Pran was being portrayed in ep 9. I felt he too bordered on the blushing maiden with how he shied away from Pat's advances in his room before Korn came in, before the rugby game, and even when washing up after the hotpot date. I don't see that now because, of course, we know Pran isn't a blushing maiden at all - I mean he's not known as Feral Musky Scented HOE Pran for nothing.

Yes, it took time for Pran to get used to Pat's affections but that was probably because he had pined over this man for so long it was all a bit overwhelming at first. Pran probably needed to ease into letting down his walls, to be vulnerable around Pat, and to believe it was all real. And in the end, when he had gotten used to it all, Pran holds back because he likes to make Pat work for it...because Pat also likes to work for it, because they get off on role-playing - as I've said before, it's like foreplay to them.

I'm not saying this is the same for Kawi but it's a similar situation. I knew this about Pran, and that I was wrong in my interpretation of him, and yet I didn't think to approach Kawi and Pisaeng with the same lens. The lens that so many of you have helpfully pointed out - Kawi is a 30-year-old virgin. This is all so new to him, not only to be intimate with someone but also with a man whom he hadn't even contemplated being with. He's spent 12 years only thinking of Pear (emphasis on 'only thinking' as well as 'only thinking').

@burntsuncomet said it well in their tags: "touch gets very very difficult if you don't interact with people much, so intimacy of normal affectionate touches are tough. Kawi would have to start slow and let Piseang just smack a kiss, maybe hold hands, hug a bit, it's a lot of work before intimacy from touch will be like second nature in Kawi's case." @rocketturtle4 also added that Kawi's "general uncertainty could be very well tied in with his loneliness and, especially, his fear of losing Piseang if he does the wrong thing".

@waitmyturtles offered a slightly different perspective, that almost "everything in this show is totally intentional, and...that [Kawi's] discomfort is totally meant to reflect those accusations from Krist’s past about his clear discomfort in acting out intimacy (especially juxtaposed with how much better he’s done with the intimacy in this show)".

So, all of this is to say that I need to start trusting this new wave of bl/qls - a message I obviously forgot from My School President and which has been proven by several other series this year.

And I need to trust Be My Favourite especially, because, as @williamrikers said, "they've swerved and avoided every other trope so far I believe that they're working towards something here". And I agree. Every episode has been fantastic and I haven't disliked a single thing about the show so far.

On top of that, I need to trust my newfound belief in Krist's acting, because he has pulled out some absolutely brilliant performances in this show so far - so why should I think ep 9 is any different?

[silverraes]

10 BL Characters I Would Hit With My Car

big thank you to @buddhamethods for starting this. I thought it sounded like a fun idea and just had to participate because I have Opinions™ :)

I am hitting some of these characters with only the best intentions and some of them out of pure spite

1) Shin (Bake Me Please)

if you've seen me post about this show or if you've seen it yourself, you know exactly why this guy is on here and also why he's the main reason why I just had to join in on this trend

square up, Shin, I'm hitting you with my car for all that bs and also to help with your character development a little <3

(I didn't find a fitting gif so have a pic as a great summary for why he's on here instead)

2) Way (Pit Babe)

listen I love him. after all if evil why pretty? but he's also a b*tch and he deserves to get hit by a car a little. as a treat. he's my pathetic little meow meow and I love to see him suffer (affectionate) <3

I'm also doing this as a public service so that Babe and Charlie can stay in their weird mama & papa boyfriends era without Way pulling his mind fuckery tricks on Babe

3) Kim (Kinnporsche)

hitting him with my car very lovingly simply bc he made Chay sad and we can't have that. maybe a little car accident can get him to actually admit that he's head over heels in love.

(and also because this man is way too pretty and I need to confirm that he's actually human)

4) Top (Only Friends)

listen. I believe that all of the Only Friends characters deserve to get hit by a car a little. all of them. but this man dared to say that he was serious and then went ahead and slept with someone else so. there's that.

5) Xue Yang (The Untamed/MDZS)

the most evil fucker for absolutely no reason. completely irredeemable. has the world's worst reason for being evil. I love him so much.

this guy is so fucked up that he managed to spend 3 years being all domestic with his nemesis only to realize that he actually developed feelings for him after he had already caused his death

there is absolutely no way to fix him but I'm still hitting him with my car for the amount of emotional damage he caused me with those god damn pieces of candy

6) Akk (The Eclipse)

I love him to bits and that is exactly why I'm knocking him tf out. very lovingly and rather softly but enough to give him some time off. because he deserves a break from all of the absolutely godawful authority figures in his life and what they're putting him through

7) August (Last Twilight)

this fucking b*tch.

I don't think I need to explain why I'm coming at him full speed. this is an act of public service, your honor, I'm doing nothing wrong.

8) Phee (Dead Friend Forever)

okay I know we've only had him for one single episode but this man is already stressing me out with the way he just threw away his cigarette bud in the middle of a god damn forest. sir what are you doing.

I'm only preserving the environment by hitting him with my car and getting him out of that forest, really

(also I can't pinpoint why but this guy is sus af and I don't trust him)

(the scene of crime, your honor)

9) Sprite & Zee's mom (Twins)

after @buddhamethods already took care of Zee (thank you for your service), I am volunteering to take out their mom. this woman needs the world's biggest wake-up call and since her own damn son ending up in a hospital didn't seem to do the trick, maybe herself ending up there will help

10) GramBlack double feature (Not Me)

the absolute audacity of these men to not be in love? after all of that?? I'm hitting them with my car because maybe ending up in hospital beds next to each other will finally get someone to admit that that G did not stand for Eugene what the actual fuck

(listen there are barely any scenes with actual Black and Gram together I'm working with the smallest of crumbs here bear with me)

tagging all of my moots. all of you. if you consider me your mutual, consider yourself tagged.

[befuddledcinnamonroll]

Only Friends - final thoughts

Lol, this tag suddenly feels a bit fraught. But everyone else is being very clear about how they feel, so I'm gonna do that too.

Ok, my thoughts:

- the acting was amazing. I loved pretty much everyone already going into it, but it was a delight to watch them sink their teeth into the material. Special call outs to Neo and Book who just really impressed me.

- I was meh on the storyline, but I knew I would be going into it. I'm into romantic shit and escapist stuff. So I was just along for the wild ride, and in that sense I was fully engaged every week.

- from the beginning, my understanding of the goal of Jojo and the others working on the series was to share some of their experiences as gay men in Thailand, as much as they could, with the restriction of it being under GMMTV and the BL label. And to my viewpoint - that is exactly what we got.

I want to be clear that I will never ever tell anyone that they should not be upset about a show. I have been devastated by shows before, and it sucks.

But I am a bit concerned that some people heard the premise, heard Jojo was directing, and decided this show was going to be everything they needed and/or wanted. Which, considering the number and diversity of those watching, is a tall order for one show.

There is also a lot of talk about the narrative punishing people, and if that's how you see it, that's how you see it.

I just think of what Jojo and the other creatives must have experienced as young gay men in their community. How overwhelming feelings can be sometimes. How they saw people treat each other. What words were used, both to seduce and to harm. How sex, and those who pursued it were viewed. How some friendships were deep, and some were paper thin, and some were toxic. What friendships were broken, sometimes for really stupid reasons. How some people changed, and some people didn't. And how real life would be so much better if it worked as a perfect narrative - but it doesn't.

I got what I read on the tin. And it was an engaging way to spend an hour a week.

Additional notes:

I'm getting a little bit in the weeds here, but I feel like both OF and Dangerous Romance are experiencing something similar when it comes to expectations. It's fine to hope for certain aspects, to wish for darker and grittier. But, y'know... it's still GMMTV. There's a reason that one of the writers - I want to say Den? (so sorry if I'm wrong on the name) knew he couldn't get what he wanted to say in Playboyy on a show like OF.

Oh, and I'm not happy Jojo was editing last minute based on fan responses, but I doubt he was given much choice. I think he did the best he could with fans in one ear and GMMTV in the other. (Also the last minute editing is not new, Nuchy had to deal with it on Not Me as well).

Again, not saying that people can't be mad! I just feel for Jojo. I think sometimes doing things very well can make people hypercritical when you do something mostly well.

[telomeke]

Thai QL Favorites Tag Game

Tagged by my Internet buddy and fellow QL fan @pandasmagorica! Thanks 🥰

Credit also: this game was created by @thatgirl4815 as Thai BL Favorites Tag Game.

So let's get into it:

Favorite Thai QL: Bad Buddy, still. After all this time it continues to hold up, I think because it packed so much intelligence into its short run of 12 episodes. I also have a soft spot for Moonlight Chicken, although it is arguably more queer cinema in episodic form and not classically a QL/BL.

Favorite Pairing: Umm, gonna leave aside the ships and talk about professional pairings for QL series. Ohm and Nanon as PatPran still top my list; they tore my heart to shreds in Bad Buddy and healed it too. But I don't need to see them as any other pair in another series also for that reason. MaxTul seem to bring it in any series they're in, so they get a mention too.

Most underrated actor: Have to agree with @pandasmagorica about Fluke Gawin Caskey. They need to use him more – he's doing a truly credible job in Be My Favorite plus wow he can sing really well. And I think Krist Perawat in the same series is also surprising all of us; he's certainly matured since his stumbly, mumbly turn in SOTUS.

Favorite Character: Eep. This is like trying to choose among your children. I love so many! Pat and Pran for different reasons (I'm very much like one, more than the other, but I love them both). But I also like Li Ming in Moonlight Chicken, maybe because of his confident self-knowledge, and all the hope he represents for the next generation.

Favorite Side Character: Arm from KinnPorsche for the wrong reasons; devastating combination of nerdy and also hot when shirtless. Also maybe Daddy Chan from the same show. And (odd/unpopular choice) maybe Dissaya from Bad Buddy; I'm just fascinated by her character and backstory, and wish we got told more of it. Also Manaow from Until We Meet Again and Yihwa in Together With Me for being the effervescent supportive besties I wish I had growing up.

Favorite scene in a QL: The opening scene in Ep.5 of Bad Buddy because it tells us so much, in so many layers, and upon the re-watch you can sense that something's starting to turn (though the closing scene on the rooftop is a very close second, for obvious reasons).

Favorite line in a QL: Pat and Pran at the end of BBS Ep.5 going "Do you want us to be friends?" followed by the softest, most gut-wrenching "No..."

Most Anticipated QL (& why): Only Friends – looking forward to something steamy for a change. Been too long since KinnPorsche.

Healthiest relationship in a QL: HeartLiMing in Moonlight Chicken. And PatPran in BBS, but only post-Ep.12 timeskip. They're so respectful to each other – but also a bit boring, so I'm not sure I'd want to watch them in another show because a drama with no drama wouldn't be a drama, now then would it?

Most toxic relationship in a QL: VegasPete in KinnPorsche? I'm still divided about their dynamic. Or TharnType in TharnType perhaps. That was just badly written.

Guilty pleasure series: KinnPorsche. Nuff said.

Most underrated series: He's Coming to Me really needs more love. Production values not the strongest but themes, acting, storyline are all top-notch (with some minor points only that I might want to quibble about). One of the earliest to deal with cultural themes in Thai QL and it was fascinating.

Tagging @airenyah, @dribs-and-drabbles, @waitmyturtles, @bengiyo, @twig-tea, @colourme-feral, @miscellar, @ranchthoughts, @chickenstrangers, @dudeyuri, @inventedfangirling, @dimplesandfierceeyes, @wen-kexing-apologist, @starryalpacasstuff, @kattahj, @lurkingshan, @neuroticbookworm...

...@theheightofdishonor, @dimpledpran, @silvercrystal1, @mineonmain, @sharingfandoms and anybody else I might have missed, feel free to play (or not!).

[bitacrytic]

Bita it has been so long since anyone has talked about Vegas 😭😭 I miss talking about him and Pete ( the character). But I read your tags and omg yes. The trial and error noodles! ( even though I haven't watched this bl you posted about) sugar daddy tendencies. Burning the world down of anyone looks at his partner wrong ( I mean Pete did escape unscathed from the shootout)

HAPPY NEW YEAR, ANON!

And please watch that show. This boy really could be a theerapanyakul. I swear. The anger issues, the daddy issues, the rich boy walk, THE HAIR!!! THE DEAD MOTHER! Please.

I never really did the kinnporsche in high school thing in my head, but I could see it. I could see Vegas being a total ass to Pete but then deciding that Pete is his center and therefore should be protected at all cost. I mean that's literally canon.

And as for the trial and error noodles, I was so annoyed (affectionate) by this boy in this other show. Because at least Vegas did a good job. But Wubi, he refused to accept defeat. Kept his little sister hungry for hours in the name of making noodles... FROM SCRATCH!!!

You should watch this show, please.

You know how everyone wanted one of the Theerapanyakul boys to stand up to their father? Especially Vegas who was a crying, mewling mess, and a punching bag? yeah, Wubi had a moment where he caught his father's arm and informed him that if he hit him again, Wubi would fight back.

Vegas should have done that. I feel like we would have been given that chance if Korn didn't kill Gun. Vegas was working up to it. I keep going back to his sting operation and how he had MULTIPLE bodyguards from his father's home who were helping him BEHIND HIS FATHER'S BACK. Not to mention Ken who chose death over outing Vegas' plans.

Vegas needed to work up to it. Eventually. Like, just imagine his father telling the guards, "We're going to kill everyone in the Main Family today," but then Vegas was standing behind them all narrowing his eyes to remind them that they can kill everyone... EXCEPT PETE!

Menace. Cowardly, but still menacing, if you ask me.

As for Pete, yep! yes! exactly. but also, you might want to look out for Wubi's love interest because, HELLO BACKBONE!!! I understand that Pete was a bodyguard and it took a lot of courage to run from Vegas, considering the amount of indoctrination that goes on in that household, but I wish we got to see Pete stand his ground more against Vegas. I loved that he punched the shit out of Vegas in that garage. And Vegas' suicide attempt completely destroyed every bit of anger Pete rightfully had. I get it. but I still wanted some more push back from him. I was hoping season 2 would give us Pete setting boundaries...

Only for the writers to release a new book where Vegas was, once again, SA'ing Pete in the name of being a dom! *sigh*

but yeah, watch stay with me. If not for anything but for the vegaspete/kinnporsche enemies to lovers vibes. plus there are fathers on the show who actually care about their children so there's that too.

[boysbeloving]

tagged by the sweetest @toxicrevolver BL wrapped 2023

(babe that template was a bit overwhelming so i just decided to list the BLs i ended up watching this year)

Rewatched KinnPorsche for the KP Rewatch event @guzhu-furen organised

La Pluie-----y'all the series DOES NOT BEAT AROUND THE BUSH! and it was so refreshing to watch...no one is 'hiding' the soulmate connection thing and by episode 4 (i think) both the male leads know that they are eo's person...i have MANY thoughts and feelings about this show actually....very surprising lol

Step by Step (9 episodes only i think...jeng is BIG and i like it 😏 i watched the rest of the series through tumblr gifs heheehhe)

Bed Friend (only 4 episodes, the parental abuse was very triggering and i decided to stop letting myself relive my personal experiences like a responsible adult)

Love Tractor----it is SUPER SWEET and i absolutely love it

My Love Mix-Up----it is AMAZING! i put it off for the longest time coz i felt aoki was too hyperactive and too dramatic and there was too much over-the-top physical acting involved (which is common in Japanese series i've noticed...maybe the ones that are adapted from manga...maybe in an attempt to be 'authentic' to the panels? which obviously will have exaggerated physical actions to convey emotions in a printed/drawing medium...i could be absolutely wrong lol) ANYWAY it turns out that those few moments were the only ones that were giffed mostly so i had no idea that the series was actually MUCH MUCH more than that and that aoki doesn't get on my nerves AT ALL! he's my sweet boy <3

i think i watched My Tooth Your Love all the way back in january 2023

I Feel You Linger in the Air----i'm about to finish watching this series....Khun Yai can GET IT

if i watched other series then they're slipping my mind but yeah...here's my BL wrapped 2023!

i don't watch the series that are too popular or at least i watch them much much later than when they air, i just generally keep up with the BL scene through the posts in the tag made by lovely fellow bl fans...a big thank you to y'all

how does your BL Wrapped 2023 look like? tell me? but ofc no pressure! Here is the blank template!

@imminentinertia @i-got-the-feels @guzhu-furen @baby-droll @aana210 @wildestflower9 @kinnbig @arewedoneyet @ohyesididnotjustdothat

and anyone else who wants to do this!

[dreamedofyou]

OF Favourites Rankings (Halfway Point)

Got tagged by @thatgirl4815 and thought it'd be fun to do but as usual I'm a bit late, as this was supposed to be done before ep 7 aired. 😅 Ah well, I'm still going to rank the characters only up to the halfway point of the series (aka the end of ep 6) so bear in mind that this was my list before ep 7 (and it did slightly change since).

Ok, let's get into the rankings, from last to first place:

7. Boston

Said this before and I'll say it again: I enjoy having Boston on my screen because he always makes things interesting and entertaining. He's just a character I absolutely love to hate. As a person, though, he is just so rancid that he takes my last spot in the ranking and I base most of that on the way he treats his friends tbh. If this is the shit he does to people he's supposed to be close with and care about, then I dread to think how he treats those that mean absolutely nothing to him. The thing is I'm usually a huge fan of characters who do bad/toxic stuff (as you will see later on in my ranking) but they need to have reasons other than their ego for it and at the halfway point I don't see that in Boston. This might change by the end of the show, of course.

6. Cheum

I have two main reasons why she's so low on this list, the first of which being that she simply doesn't have enough screentime/storylines for me to form a strong attachment to her character, and the other being that she sometimes annoys me with her remarks. I enjoyed the conflict we got between her and April but it was so brief, I wish the female characters got the same treatment as the male ones instead of feeling like an afterthought. This is actually my one major criticism of the show but unfortunately it's a problem most BL shows suffer from.

5. Nick

I sympathise with Nick but at the same time I'm also like "you kind of brought this on yourself, my guy." The way he's either blinded by Boston's sweet-talk or just doesn't mind Boston's assholery frustrates me so much sometimes, which is why he's only nr. 5 for me. That and the fact that we don't know that much about him (yet) either. I need more to fully connect.

4. Top

I feel like this is an unpopular opinion but I think Top gets too much shit from the fandom. Yes, the reason he started pursuing Mew was shitty, but along the way he did genuinely develop feelings for Mew and imo him wanting to change and settle down is sincere. I'm a big believer in second chances if people are genuinely willing to change and better themselves, which I do think Top wants. Obviously, him sleeping with Boston (and lying to Mew) was shitty and it's one of the reasons why the nr. 4 spot is probably as high as he can go for me but I'm way more lenient there than most people because he was heavily manipulated into it by Boston and then regretted it and felt guilty about it. This isn't an excuse on my part, btw, I'm not absolving him of blame, but context makes a difference for me personally. I also think his character has the potential to grow a lot and I'm a hoe for character development (as you'll also see later).

3. Mew

Same as with Top, I feel like my opinion on Mew is somewhat unpopular, especially when it comes to his relationship with Ray. Basically, I don't think he's a bad friend at all and I believe he genuinely wants to help Ray but sometimes goes about it the wrong way (possibly due to previous experience). I think his heart is in the right place when it comes to most things and he's just like... a pretty normal dude, which I appreciate. That doesn't mean he has no flaws and can't be petty or nasty if he wants to be, however. I guess my one problem with him is I sometimes struggle to see why he fell so hard for Top specifically (what was so special about Top) because we weren't really given much of a reason. Unless it's just one of those situations where you fall for someone's looks/vibes and like that they're nice/sweet to you, and it isn't much deeper than that (because that happens to people, but Mew doesn't seem like the type to fall for those reasons). Basically, I like Mew much more when he isn't with/around Top.

2. Sand

I don't even have much to say here because I literally love everything about Sand, flaws and all. The only thing that slightly irritates me sometimes is the fact that he (unintentionally) self-sabotages by not wanting to talk about his feelings, probably because he wants to appear as if he's fine all the time even when he's clearly not. Sand is also the character I relate to most. Honestly, if it wasn't for my tendency to obsess over "broken" characters who do destructive things but are otherwise not bad people (and have a huge character development potential) then Sand would be my nr. 1. But, alas...

1. Ray

Ah, yes, we've arrived to the aforementioned "broken" character. This man has more issues than all the other characters combined and it's exactly what makes him my favourite character, oops. Unlike Boston's shitty behaviour, which is driven by ego, Ray's is driven by loneliness, abandonment issues, a lack of love, the list goes on. I genuinely think he's not a bad person, but he's self-destructive (which ends up endangering others as well) and obsessive/unable to let go (particularly when it comes to Mew), which is a recipe for disaster. He wants to be loved so badly but he wants it from the wrong person (Mew) in the wrong manner (romantic). As I said before, I'm a hoe for character development and Ray's potential on that front is off the charts. I want to see him deal with his numerous issues and grow from it as a person. What can I say, I'm just a sucker for those types of characters.

I want to conclude this by saying that there are two wolves inside me: one is a Sand Protector and the other is a Ray Apologist. They are at constant war with each other. Whichever one wins a battle at any given moment determines which of the two characters is currently my nr. 1 and which my nr. 2. That is all. 🙃

Since I'm late with this, I won't be tagging anyone but if you see this post and want to do your own ranking, feel free to consider yourself tagged.

I wonder if my list will change after the series finale.

[lurkingteapot]

Thai BL Favorites Tag Game

Tagged by @lurkingshan, @ginnymoonbeam, @incandescentflower and @recentadultburnout! Created by @thatgirl4815 as Thai BL Favorites Tag Game, and that's the name I'm playing it under because, a) well, it's all BL on my particular list, it'd feel disingenious to call it anything else except maybe Y Series because we're talking Thai audiovisual media specifically and b) I'm not entirely comfortable with the unilateral renaming of a genre which which originated and grew into its current forms in another cultural context. Don't get me wrong, I made the jump from calling it Yaoi to Boys Love to BL in the 1990s and 2000s; I know to say danmei and dangai (or boy boy) when talking about it in context of media from China/Taiwan, or Y series when talking about it in Thai. If fans and markets in the communities of origin change the names again, so will I. But for now I'm sticking with the term BL. Thanks for understanding.

Favorite Thai BL: @lurkingshan makes a great point with best vs favourite, and her contenders are also mine – is ITSAY my favourite? is Bad Buddy? I suppose if we go by times rewatched, Bad Buddy takes the crown; if it's "what do I rec other people with the least amount of caveats", ITSAY wins.

Current obsession: Laws of Attraction, with Be My Favourite as a close second.

Favorite pairing: I don't particularly like this type of industrially-pushed shoehorning of actors together as a general rule (let's not pretend Julia Roberts and Richard Gere or Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire weren't also a kind of fixed ship, and I know the Philippines does a similar thing with their (mostly het) love teams – this is not Thai BL exclusive, at least historically speaking), but it clearly sells, so I don't think the industry's going to move away from this model for a long while yet.

That said: tough, but I think it'll have to be Billkin and PP. Just. Look at them act together. Look. Whether it's ITSAY/LTIP/IPYTM and related material, or one of the advertisement shorts or the incredible music videos from last year or even My Ambulance – they're just. So!!!!

Most underrated actor: Fiat Patchata. Give that boy a main role, goddamnit.

Favorite main character: quoting @lurkingshan here:

Teh, I Told Sunset About You and I Promised You the Moon. Yes, both shows, and before you all come yell at me: I SAID WHAT I SAID. 

because she's not the only one who loves this disaster of a boy.

Favorite side character: I really loved the friend group in Secret Crush on You, and Tin's friends in Triage.

Favorite scene in a BL: There are so many to choose from, but I'm going to go with the bus stop scene in Bad Buddy ep 3. The way brick shithouse Pat, all 180some beefy adolescent centimetres of him, turns himself into a cute girl at the drop of a hat … that rewired something in me, had me sit up and take notice (and block the Bad Buddy air time slot in my work calendar for the remain of the show's run time). Because they took it seriously. Didn't play it for laughs.

Favorite line in a BL: oh, there are so many. But I guess if we want to go with largest impact on me, personally, I'm gonna go with Thian in Khun Chaai going "May I love you, Jiu?" because. whew. That just hit me right in the feels.

Most anticipated BL (& why): Only Friends and Love in Translation. Only Friends because it looks to shake up a lot of the things we're used to from GMMTV in particular – I know we've had a little bit of flirting outside of the fixed ships this year already in Moonlight Chicken and Our Skyy 2, but if Jojo is going to shake it up more I'm very, very here for that. Love in Translation because the Thai title is รักไม่รู้ภาษา "Love doesn't know language" and languages are my jam.

Healthiest relationship in a BL: I don't really enjoy thinking about relationships in these terms because it just … urgh. I don't care if it's ''''healthy'''' (and seriously, who gets to decide what is and what isn't healthy, anyway? and why are we making this a moral judgement?)

Questions I do ask about relationships: Is the relationship compelling? is it believable? do the people involved behave like they don't only love and desire, but also like each other as people? that's what I want to know.

Most toxic relationship in a BL: see above. 

Ginny suggested Relationship dynamic I would most like to have myself: and Relationship dynamic I would least like to have myself: to replace the "healthy" and "toxic" questions and I think that's fantastic, but I'm honestly blanking on both so I'm skipping this part.

Guilty pleasure series: I like what I like, I don't see a reason to feel bad about that.

Most underrated series: He's Coming To Me. It's such a lovely little show.

If you'd like to play, please consider yourself tagged (and feel free to tag me if/when you play -- I'd love to see!)