#it is so hard to hate Zemo in this LOL

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being an Avenger with the power of persuasion

Avengers x reader

warnings:

a/n: towards the end this branches off into the fatws timeline but there’s no explicit spoilers

prompt: anonymous: “Can you do hcs for the avengers with a reader who has powers like Allison Hargreeves from The Umbrella Academy?”

the avengers were a little iffy about you because......someone with your power was hard to trust at first

“mind control isn’t as fun as it sounds, you guys. i really don’t wanna keep my guard up at all times when i’m at home base” -clint

“yeah, i’m not sure if i trust this one yet. i mean, i’m totally immune to mind control, but what if they mind control someone to come after me? and they have easy access to the place?” -tony

“excuse me, did you just say you were immune to mind control?” -nat

“he most certainly is not” -wanda

i mean, you get it and all. you heard stories of the avengers’ past encounters. it couldve messed them up

and they had no character references for you

you were new and mysterious

and your powers could be dangerous if you used them the wrong way

“well, i say we take a chance on them. they might surprise us” -cap

“i knew you would say some crap like that” -tony

“i thought a surprise was the opposite of what we wanted?” -bruce

you were put on the team soon after, but you had to have a buddy on missions

*pretending that we have deaf/hoh!clint like in the comics* you were buddied up with clint since your powers were auditory

“you can’t sign me an involuntary command, can you?” -clint

“no, sir” -you

“cool, cool, cool” -clint

stealth looked good on you, ngl

you were able to get behind heavy gunmen and whisper commands to them

“simon says you are an avenger now, shoot the enemy” -you

“simon says i am your new boss, take out your ex-coworkers” -you

“simon says give me your keycard” -you

“simon says i’m not the enemy, you are” -you

“not bad down there, y/n!” -sam

“thanks! now can somebody give me a lift to that one all the way up there?” -you

you proved yourself that day, so everyone got a lot more comfortable with you

and you made a promise that day that you’d never use your powers on them

but occasionally someone would ask you a simple favor, like putting them to sleep or making them focus on a project

“i think the focus one could be a fire hazard” -you

“so just come and get me! or let me die, that’d be fine, too” -tony

“whatever...simon says focus on the new tech” -you

time went by and things got tough, especially when the sokovia accords rolled in

“i wasn’t even there for that, mr. secretary” -you

“and i’m aware of that, mx. l/n, but you still pose a threat to people around the world. you have the means to walk into any place you want and do anything you want. you can see how that makes people uneasy, don’t you?” -ross

“i’ve never used my abilities for anything but good” -you

“what y/n is trying to say is—” -steve

“he knows what i’m trying to say, but apparently that’s the issue” -you

you were “grounded” with wanda

and pretty pissed about it

“i can understand why i’m here, y/n, but you? what did you do?” -wanda

“i intimidate men in charge, i guess” -you

sounds about right, huh?

but clint broke you out

“finallyyyyy! vision is such a drag” -you

and when you got to germany, you were conflicted with yourself

should you use your powers on the teammates who wanted you locked away?

if you got into their comms, you could stop it in an instant

but that’d take some time

“hi, simon(e)! i’m, uh, scott! i think you’re pretty neat!” -scott (p.s. y/n’s hero name is simon/simone. whatever you prefer idrc)

“thanks...and what do you do?” -you

“he shrinks!” -sam

you snuck out to the pavement and tried to hack their comms, but could only do it one at a time

so you got the spider kid

“simon says stick the cat man to the side of the plane” -you

but that cat had claws

alright, it might be harder than you think

“oh god, simon(e)?” -scott

“what is it?” -you

“i’m a little nervous for my next trick...would it be too much to ask if you did your little command thing for me?” -scott

“ughhhhh...simon says, go on with your ‘trick’” -you

and all the sudden he shot up into the air

“oh, nice” -you

you really hated fighting with these guys, but you were out of options and now cap wanted you to come with him, he wouldn’t leave without you

“steve, i’m sorry. simon says leave without us” -you

and that he did, which left you to be caught by a hair

“so close, weren’t you?” -tony

“simon says go to hell” -you

“very funny, guess i’m immune to mind control, after all” -tony

having a mouth restraint place on you that tony had been saving ever since you joined the team

one that “team cap” heavily protested the second they saw it

“tony, that’s wrong! don’t you trust them enough not to do that? they’re going to hate you after all of this” -wanda

“it’s either me or them. at least mine is comfortable” -tony

kinda fucked lol but understandable ig

having to testify without a voice, only able to type or write

but eventually you made your case and were able to make a deal, but part of that deal was to keep your mouth sealed when in the presence of authority since your voice was deemed a weapon ;)

kinda a dick move if you ask me

so you said fuck that and became a fugitive with steve + friends

but used your powers less and less

again, only for favors because it was hard to get peace in these crappy motels

“simon says kill that roach, oh god” -you @ steve

“you were an avenger and you can’t kill a roach?” -sam

“don’t start with me, sam, or you’re sleeping on the floor” -you

“you wouldn’t” -sam

“don’t test me” -you

waiting and waiting for some kind of turning point that didnt come until alien invasion 2.0

and you tried so hard to stop thanos from snapping, but the stones got the best of you as you were frozen in time

but fortunately you didn’t dust

leaving you to get a rematch against thanos when the time would come

and reuniting with tony just for him to lecture you with the rest of the team

“go fuck yourself, tony” -you

“oh, thank god they didn’t say ‘simon says’” -that raccoon you’ve known for like 3 weeks

“do you ever shut up?” -you

“no, he does not” -nebula

anyways your time did not come and you waited five years for another chance

and although you did not redeem yourself on your own, you were just glad that your side, humanity, had won

but just before thanos had ceased to exist, you told him

“simon says to feel the pain of loss for all of eternity” -you

it may have been cruel, but it’s what he deserved

the next step was for you and sam to be pardoned of your crimes

but you didn’t exactly part ways just because...what else was there for you to do? the two of you were close after your time on the run

and all was well until he decided to give the shield up

“oh, bucky’s gonna be pissed” -you

“he’ll be fine” -sam

now, bucky had mixed feelings about you

he was nervous about your powers, but you did save him

and he knew what it felt like not to be trusted

so he gave you a chance and partnered with you after the “new captain america” and the “flag smashers” fiasco

legally, if you used your powers on a government official/soldier you’d go back in the slammer, but it was quite tempting, even if it were just a “simon says punch yourself in the face”

and off to madripoor you went with...zemo

“are you going to persuade me into something petty, mx. l/n?” -zemo

“i’ve gotta make it worth it, honestly, but there’s no rule against me doing so, so at least i won’t feel bad” -you

and who knows what’s next?

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @rorybutnotgilmore // @locke-writes // @sweetheartliz07 // @queen-destenie // @natasha-danvers // @lokihiddles // @frostedficrecs // @lotsoffandomrecs // @johnmurphyisqueer // @teenwaywardasgardian // @pappydaddy // @captainshazamerica // @freya-xo // @ravenmoore14 // @thisetaernallove // @ofthedewthesunlight // @canarypoint // @zoeyserpentluck // @randomawesomeperson102 // @ghost-bich // @wonderful-writer // @of-a-chaotic-mind // @groovyfluxie // @procrastinatingsapphictrash // @lxncelot // @swanimagines // @randomfandomimagine // @petersgroupie // @agentshortstacc // @rosadiaz-sarayvargas-harleyquinn // @werewolf-himbo // @comiocudequemtalendo1 // @mochamoff // @the-marvel-meme-emporium // @summersimmerus //

[biisexualemma]

tired pt.2. bucky barnes

word count: 2.3k

warnings: violence, mentions of blood

requested: n/a

plot: you get injured during the mission to locate karli

a/n: so this is sort of a part 2 to the winter soldier imagine i wrote! i'm gonna be posting a part 3 soon too, i'm pretty much following each episode lol, this is obviously episode 4, and then next part with follow episode 5! hope you enjoy! i am very much enjoying writing for bucky atm! let me know what you think anyway! (sorry if there are any minor mistakes i cannot read this over again i am tired lol)

pt.1 / pt.3 / pt.4 masterlist

you knew this was a bad idea. any idea that involved trusting zemo was bad. which you had reiterated to your team multiple times now, but here you still were, relying on zemo to get to karli. to top it all off, captain america and his nosey sidekick had found you guys, somehow, and invited themselves to tag along. too much toxic masculinity was floating around in the air when john walker tagged along anywhere, it was suffocating. made you wanna punch him whenever he opened his mouth and that arrogant, condescending tone came out. that, and he was resolved to shamelessly coming onto you whenever he spoke to you. you were sure he only did it so he could feel more in control of the situation. you tried not to let it get to you, but sometimes he was plain insufferable.

bucky already hated walker with every fibre of his being, and he definitely didn't take kindly to his flirting with you either. the only thing holding either of you back from decking walker was sam, and his level head. but you were constantly stealing subtle glances and touches with one another when you could without bringing too much attention to it. you had both decided it would only make things way more complicated during this mission if your relationship was out in the open. there were too many things that could go wrong, you definitely didn't want your relationship to be used against you. so only sam remained in the loop. everyone else was blind to your affection for the super soldier, and his for you.

the blonde haired fraud and his right-hand man, had somehow managed to make everything ten times worse again. you found yourself scouring the building, looking for karli, after mr-i-have-jurisdiction charged into the room where sam had been having a, somewhat productive, conversation with the girl. he barged in there, throwing around hollow threats, like karli would cave and come lightly after everything. he was ignorant and he was an idiot and you could've killed him for screwing up another mission.

you held your gun at arms length, kicking the door open in front of you, edging your way in, eyes scoping the room for any signs of movement. it was empty. you lowered your gun, making your way across the floor to the door leading to the next room. "east wing is clear so far, one last room to check and then i'll circle back to the stair--"

your words caught in your throat as a grunt left your mouth, feeling the blunt impact to the back of your head. you stumbled forwards, clumsily spinning around to see one of karli's super soldiers towering over you, an old pipe gripped in his hand. you quickly lifted your gun to shoot but the bullet hit the ceiling when he swung the pipe, knocking the weapon out of your hand.

you gritted your teeth, your head was throbbing where the pipe had made contact, and now you were weaponless. you ducked swiftly as he swung the pipe at you once again. you dived forwards, trying to catch him off guard and using your full force to tackle him. ordinarily, this would have knocked him off his feet and you would have used the upper hand to locate your gun and seize it before he could recover.

but this guy, unfortunately for you, was far from ordinary. he was significantly stronger than you were.

"all clear, y/n?" sam's voice echoed in your ear through the comms but you were far too distracted by your current predicament to answer him straight away.

"shit," you mumbled under your breath. the man had barely flinched, before switching it on you. before you could retreat, his arms grabbed your torso and you were halted, heaved off of your feet. "i need backup!" you shouted desperately into your comms, hoping one of them would turn up sooner rather than later. his grip was painfully strong as you tried to scramble out of his hold. but, with almost no strain on his behalf, he hurled you across the room, your body slamming into the brick wall and crumpling against the hard floor.

you let out a wheeze, you felt like the air had been knocked right out of you, and you definitely heard something crack. you clutched your side, wincing as you clumsily dodged the blows he threw at you, trying to clamber away from him. you had to pull yourself together, get up and get to your gun before this escalated any further.

you propped yourself up onto your arms, pushing yourself back and away from the super soldier towering over you. "sam, buck," your breathing was laboured as you tried to reach them again, after hearing no response from your initial plea for help. "east wing. i'm unarmed. super soldier with a pipe and a mean swing-- i need backup-- now."

you cringed, sharp pains rushing from your chest the further you dragged yourself away from the soldier. that was when you noticed the gash along his calf, blood soaking his pants. that was your ticket. you waited for him to swing again, dodging it only by a split second, but took your window and kicked as hard as you could at the open wound on his leg. he let out a loud groan, his leg collapsing under the shock of the pain.

you, however, scrambled as quick as you could, onto your feet and ran to the gun sitting on the floor behind him. before you got too far, your legs were swept out from under you as the soldier grabbed your ankle, your face slamming into the concrete floor as you fell. you let out a groan, followed by a soft whimper, blood now pooling from your nose. you desperately stretched out a hand for the gun that was just out of your reach. his grip tightened on your ankle, you felt yourself being hauled backwards before you lunged one last time for your weapon.

your hand clasped around the gun, twisting yourself onto your back, not hesitating to fire at the super-soldier attached to your limb. the bullet fired straight into his shoulder, he let out a shriek of pain, his grip lost on your ankle. you hurried as far away from him as you could on your hands and knees, your breathing shaky and uneven as the adrenaline coursed through you.

you sat still, legs brought up to your chest, your breathing heavy as you watched the super soldier grip his shoulder, trying to stop the bleeding. you held the gun up, directed at him in case he made any more movements. you were panting, your hand moving to your head, wincing as the throbbing pain started to return, and your comedown ensued.

"oh shit," you heard from the doorway. "shit," he muttered harshly, his footsteps drawing nearer to you. you were preoccupied, the pain was spreading quicker now that your heart rate was slowing down. you felt the sharpness in your ribs every time you took a breath in, ringing in your ears growing louder and the throbbing in your nose intensifying as blood dripped onto your shirt.

you flinched when his hand brushed up against yours, your unsteady hands still gripped tightly around your gun. "hey," he whispered, you only just about heard his soft voice echo over the ringing. you noticed the familiar metal hand grazing yours and your grip loosened, letting him remove the gun from your hand. your eyes trailed up to his comfortingly familiar, blue eyes. you let out a soft sigh of relief, cracking a weak smile.

"took your time," you mumbled, teasingly, trying to ease some of the tension you were feeling. you moved your hand to your mouth, blood transferring onto your fingertips from where it had trickled from your nose onto your lips. you let out a halfhearted, tired, chuckle, your face contorting as the pain in your chest intensified. you were relieved that it was over, and that he had been the one to find you. you let out a strained breath, "i'm gonna need one hell of a drink when this is all over."

bucky, however, was examining every inch of you, his eyes shifting all over you, frowning as he found more blood the more places he looked. he watched your hands shake as you touched your lips, the lump grew in his throat. he knew you were trying to make light of the situation, to ease his mind but he could tell you were hurting, a lot.

he moved his hand to your face, his thumb brushing your cheek. his stomach lurched when your eyes met his again, the blood soaking your face was a sight he never wanted to have to see again after today. as impossible as that would be in this line of work. "let's get you fixed up, then we'll see about that drink, alright, doll?" his voice was soft, quiet when he spoke to you. you nodded, reassurance slowly washing over you with his fingers caressing your cheek. his touch was more comforting to you than he'd ever realise.

he dragged his eyes away from yours, over to the super soldier who was still squirming, his hand clamped over the wound in his shoulder. bucky glanced at you for a split second, his expression harder than before. you knitted your eyebrows delicately, noticing the shift in his temper. "wait here," he mumbled, his jaw twitching as he moved away from your side. you felt cold with the loss of contact.

bucky moved to tower over the super solider, his head tilting slightly, not hesitating for even a second as he raised his leg, quickly slamming the heel of his foot against his face. the solider dropped back onto the ground, now unconscious. "stay down," he mumbled under his breath.

"c'mon, we gotta' find sam and zemo first," he ignored your amused expression, helping you onto your feet.

-

you'd returned to the hotel room now you had zemo in your custody again. zemo was nursing his headache with a glass of whiskey, sam busying himself with something on his laptop, and bucky had pulled you into the bathroom to help clean you up.

"how ya' feelin', doll?" he quirked an eyebrow at you, positioning you so you were seated, while he hovered over you. he busied himself, soaking a cloth in warm water so he could tend to your wounds. you shrugged, lowering your gaze to where your hands sat in your lap, shaking less now you'd had that drink.

"i'll be fine," you muttered, unconcerned with your well being for now. your mind was swimming with thoughts on how you were going to handle the karli situation. no doubt, walker would be knocking around soon too, just to make things harder for you guys, and probably try and twist the story around to make it seem like karli getting away had nothing to do with him.

bucky wasn't convinced by your answer, but he didn't push you. instead, his hand moved to your chin, using his forefinger and thumb to tilt your head upwards. you saw his jaw clench before he started to wipe away the dried blood from your face. you flinched when he touched the bridge of your nose, recoiling from his touch. "ow, that kinda' hurt," you admitted.

"suck in your breath," he instructed, his jaw stiff as he spoke. "if i don't clean it up now it'll only get worse," you just nodded, doing as he said. you held your breath, biting the inside of your cheek as he cleaned up the rest of the blood (his spare hand moving to the back of your neck to stop you from pulling away). "all done," you let out your breath, your eyes were watery, a reflex from the sensitivity of your bruised nose. "y'good?"

you nodded, letting yourself fall forward, resting your forehead against his stomach, trying to disguise the range of emotions you were feeling. he let out a sigh, his hand still tucked around the back of your head, tangling his fingers in your hair. "you don't have to keep up this act," he spoke after a while. exhausted, you let him hold you up, relaxing yourself against him. "it's just me."

you sniffled, pulling back to look up at him. he felt his chest tighten at the sight of your bruised face, stinging red eyes and pink cheeks. you weren't often vulnerable with anyone, but you were so worn out from everything going on, and bucky was looking at you in a way that made you feel so safe, you couldn't help but let go a little.

"i'm just tired, buck," your voice wavering. he moved both hands to either side of your face, pushing your hair out of the way. he cupped your cheeks, his thumbs brushing against your flushed skin. you relished in his touch, comforted by the warmth he was radiating, soothing you. "this missions been hard."

"i know, doll," he hummed, his gaze softening watching you relax against his palms, your eyelids drooping shut. he gulped. "let's get you clean, then you can get some rest."

you hummed softly. "thanks, buck," he took a step back, his hands leaving your face for a second. you hastily moved your hands to his, stopping him from moving further away from you. "no," your voice came out hushed. "just a bit longer," you pleaded, you weren't ready to let go of his comfort just yet.

bucky simply nodded, moving his hands back to either side of your face, letting your head fall against his stomach again. he raked his fingers through your hair soothingly, holding you for as long as you needed. he was just relieved you felt comfortable enough to be vulnerable with him, it meant you felt just as much for him as he did for you.

[watchmegetobsessed]

Prisoner - Bucky Barnes

a/n: hi everyone! i am really excited to share this with you, because this one was written for a writing challenge! it is part of @wkemeup​ ‘s 9k writing challenge and it’s the first time i take part in anything like this with a Bucky fic! not that i have many but im sure more is about to come lol! let me know what you thought after reading!

prompt: Character A is possessed/controlled and attempts to harm Character B. [B] refuses to fight back in fear of hurting [A].  

pairing: Bucky X Reader

warnings: blood, violence, mind controlling, just the usual jazz lol

word count: 7.8k

masterlist

Bucky and you were a pair made in hell. Only that he is the only one out of the two of you who really went through the deepest and darkest corners of it while you were basically just waiting in the lobby, as you like to say it.

He wasn’t the only person HYDRA had plans with. Being an orphan from the age of four, you didn’t have the life you probably deserved. Abducted at the age of twenty, you lived in cells and labs for years before they gave you the serum, turning you into a super solider, with determined plans to turn you into a kind of winter soldier 2.0, eventually wiping your head like his and turning you into the perfect assassin. Only that before they could start with the torture, you were rescued by none other than Captain America during a raid on one of HYDRA’s secret bases.

The Avengers gave you shelter when you had absolutely nothing left in life. Your previous life was long forgotten, almost entirely non-existent, all you had is the safety these extraordinary people were offering you, that you took more than willingly.

You were there when Bucky was captured, still very much fighting with his own conscious. You were in the building when Zemo triggered him into being a murderer again and he broke free, fought his ex best friend, saved his life and then disappeared again. You often found yourself thinking about how you’d be just the same if you weren’t saved. How you’d be out there, used as just a toy to end lives.

You never had to go through the process of ripping this side of yourself out of your head, because they never succeeded with you. But Bucky didn’t have it as lucky as you did. When Shuri contacted you that he was awake from his hibernation and they were working on wiping the winter soldier out of him, you didn’t hesitate to drop everything and be there for him. You didn’t know him that well back then, but you felt like you shared a deep connection through the torturous things you had to go through. You were there for him until he finally became entirely himself. No more winter soldier, just Bucky.

The two of you have tens of missions together behind your back at this point. Partners in work, friends in life, that’s what you are. And in your dreams?

Definitely lovers.

Now as you are rotting in a dark and musty cell somewhere in the middle of Poland, you are starting to regret you never really told him how you feel. You had so many chances to come clear but you were too afraid of rejection and the possibility of ruining your strong friendship and most importantly partnership that you chose to keep it all bottled up inside you.

It might have been days or hours since they locked you in your cell, you wouldn’t know. You lost track of time and you’re not expecting to see the daylight anytime soon either. Are they looking for you? Or do they think you died? No one was around you when you were abducted and there were no signs left behind that would have let your team know you survived. There was a massive explosion near your location in the raid, anyone would easily think that you were caught in the middle of that.

Does Bucky think I’m dead too? Has he given up on me?

You’re starting to think you’ll never find that out. Just like how you’ll never find out what it’s like to grow old, have a home that’s not just a room in a facility, spend your days with your hobbies rather than trainings and missions.

As the thick metal door opens and a creak of light breaks the heavy darkness in your cell, you look up at the man who walks in. If your hands weren’t cuffed with fucking vibranium cuffs, you would easily kill him in a heartbeat along with the three bulky guards he brought with himself.

“It’s time to make a use out of you,” the man grinned before two guards grabbed you by your arms, dragging you out of the cell, taking you God knows here. Probably to your death.

“You have to check twice,” Buckly growled upon hearing Agent Hill’s report from what was found at the scene. Or what was not found.

“No signs of Y/N were found, Bucky. But that explosion was so massive, it wiped out everything in it’s close radius. If she stood close to that…” “But what if she didn’t?!” he snaps, barking at the innocent agent. The room falls silent, no one dares to speak up against Bucky’s raging anger. Fury steps forward and places a hand to the upset soldier’s shoulder as a soft warning to control himself. Bucky takes a deep breath before looking over at Fury, no longer determined to rip anyone apart who wants to argue with him.

“Let’s all calm down and see what we can do. Do you think she survived?” Fury simply questions him. Bucky taps on the panel and a map of the location pulls up on the big screen, showing a little red dot at the places where the team members were located last before the explosion.

“Her last location was far enough of it for her to survive,” he explains pointing at your dot.

“But if she moved just a little closer—“ Hill starts again, but she quickly silences herself when Bucky shoots her another warning look.

“I think she was captured. We can’t just assume that she is gone that easily,” he insists, refusing to even think about the possibility of you dying in that explosion. That’s just simply not an option for him.

Fury stares back at him hard, searching for something in his eyes before he finally nods.

“Alright, let’s get on the case. We need to find out where they could be possibly hiding her.”

Bucky breathes out in relief as the team gets down to work immediately. This is not the part he can help with, he sucks at technical things, so now he is left with just the painful wait until a lead pops up and he can come to your rescue.

 The gym is eerily quiet without your bickering. He always trains with you and it’s been one of his favorite things to do. The two of you liked to race in everything and thought you both knew he was faster and stronger, he always let you win a few times, giving you the chance to tease him about being second after you.

But now as he is punching the heavy bag on his own, he wishes he could hear one of your snarky comments about his lopsided moves, because he still hasn’t entirely gotten used to the uneven strength in his hands.

“If she is really out there, I’m sure she is doing fine.”

Sam walks in, his steps echo in the empty room and though Bucky stops for a moment, he doesn’t look at him, just keeps punching the bag.

“She is tough, Bucky. She can take care of herself.”

“Not when she is outnumbered by a dozen,” he growls back. “I know she is tough, but sometimes that’s just not enough.”

For a long time Bucky thought Steve is the only person he can work with as partners, but he had to realize that he had a special bond with you through the tortures you both had to go through and sometimes he felt like you were the only one who understood him truly. Even though your brain wasn’t washed like his, you were close to it and it gave you a great understanding of what he had to go through.

But it wasn’t just about the trauma. As you grew closer to each other you easily became friends, really good ones for all that matters. Bucky loved spending time with you on and out of missions as well. He finds your humor a little dark but quite entertaining, he likes how you are more social than he is so whenever you need to work with someone else you always take the role of the communicator, building a bridge between him and others easily. He loves how much you care about others, how you show your appreciation for your loved ones in the tiny details as making breakfast or baking their favorite cookies. He loves the way you smile whenever he messes up something and you have to take care of it eventually, he loves the way you laugh at his lame, old jokes, he loves how you always fall asleep on horror movies and he loves…

He loves you.

For years he thought he would never feel this way again for anyone, because it’s so raw and human, he thought it was wiped out of him when he became the winter soldier, but you proved him wrong. And now he wishes he told you how he felt, because if you won’t return, he has to live his life knowing you never knew how much you meant to him.

Tossing and turning in his bed, he stays wide awake, not able to even close his eyes when he knows you are out there somewhere, because you have to be. He refuses to nurse the thought of you gone for even a second. You’re qualified, the best fighter he has ever met and he has this feeling in his gut that you made it out of there alive. Maybe you knew the explosion was about to happen. Maybe you ran the opposite way before it was too late. Or maybe you found shelter, or simply was just knocked out of the impact of it and they captured you.

So many possibilities that are way more better than the fatality of your death.

Kicking the silky sheets off his body, the ones he deep down hates because it’s way too smooth against his skin, something he still has a hard time to grow accustomed to, he pulls a hoodie over his head before creeping his way out of his bedroom, down the hallway until he reaches yours. He stands still at the door, a sense of anxiety washing over him as he thinks about what’s inside. Not that it’s the first time he is here, he has spent endless nights in your room, the two of you talking and laughing as you showed him your favorite movies he hasn’t seen. You often bought a big bag of snacks for your movie nights and the two of you sprawled across your comforter, your legs sometimes touching, or there was this one time when he let you braid his hair.

“You should come to missions like this,” he remembers your teasing as you ran your fingers through the neat braids running along his head.

“And give the boys another reason to tease me? No thank you,” he chuckled.

“Another? What do they tease you about?” you asked furrowing your eyebrows as you popped a gummybear into your mouth.

You. It was you they teased him about and how obvious his feelings for you are. Seemingly everyone saw how you looked at each other but you and him.

He twists the silver doorknob before pushing the door open, part of him hoping to see you curled up under the sheets, snoring lightly and peacefully, but the room is terribly empty without your presence.

Everything is just the way you left them. The abandoned workout clothes hanging from the edge of the hamper, your running shoes under the window, your journal lying on your nightstand with a pen on top and his favorite… a framed picture of you and him on your bookshelf with all your favorite romantic novels stacked neatly on the shelves.

Bucky steps closer, his hands hidden in the pooch of his hoodie as he stares at the photo. It was taken a few days after the two of you returned from Wakanda, Bucky was finally free from the winter soldier and it was probably the best few days of his life. The two of you decided to take a trip to London before returning to your duty, a place you always wanted to see, but never really got the chance. It was just the two of you, taking some time away from the avengers, SHIELD, all the bad in the world, pretending like you’re two normal people for just a weekend before returning to your duties in New York. The photo was taken when you returned from the getaway, Steve took it in the gym, the two of you sat at the edge of the boxing ring after a killer fight. It was a simple moment, his arm stretched behind you as you leant against his side. The glow from your alone time was still apparent on your faces, neither of you felt happier in life before, or not at least in the last decade.

His vision blurs as he runs a finger through the frame, a sharp pain stabbing in his chest as he watches your bright smile and rosy cheeks. He never thought he would feel this way about anyone, not after everything he went through, but you proved him wrong. You showed him how much more human he still is that what he thinks of himself and you might not even have realized it.

Too restless to go back to sleep, Bucky storms out of your room, carefully closing the door behind him before going down to Tony’s office, determined to make himself useful. He can’t just sit around and wait, he needs to feel like he is doing everything he can.

When the first rays of the sun shine above the horizon and the first agents arrive for their shifts, He has already gone through an immense amount of security tapes from all around the world that had even the slightest match through the face recognition system with yours. None of them turned out to be real, but he never gave up.

“Barnes, were you here all night?” Tony asks in awe when he finds the long-haired avenger with his eyes glued to one of the screens, watching yet another tape.

“Not all night, but… for the majority, yes,” he nods without even sparing Tony a look.

Any other day Tony would tease him for maybe finally doing something useful, or not only using his fist in a case, but not today. Everyone on the team knows how much you mean to him and how hard it is to not know where you are. So he just nods, places his coffee down to the desk and gets down to work without a word.

Soon enough the rest of the team joins them and everyone is working together to find even the slightest lead. Every other minor case is put aside, you are their priority.

The more time passes by without anything found, Bucky feels like a part of him is dying more and more. Hopelessness and fear is taking over his already messed up mine, but he is still holding onto the light and that small little feeling in his gut that you are still out there somewhere. And then they find a lead.

“We’ve got a match!” Nat beams from behind her screen and everyone gathers around her as a series of blurry photos play in front of them, showing a group of men carrying a clearly unconscious person to a minivan before driving away. The quality is definitely not the best, your face is also half covered by your hair, but your uniform gives you away. It really is you.

“Where and when was this taken?” Bucky asks in a hurry.

“Last night, outside of Krakow. We have one last coordinate for the van,” Nat informs the group as she brings up a map, a red dot signaling the last spotting of the same van.

“There’s a closed off military based near,” Steve chimes in, pointing at the map a few miles away from where the pictures were taken.

“Alright, suit up everyone. Guess we are going to Poland,” Tony announces and a moment later everyone is running off to get ready for takeoff.

The ground doesn’t feel that bad anymore. It’s wet and there’s gravel here and there, the coldness is not too comfortable either, but you are getting used to it. Probably because it makes you feel things and that’s important to you now. In times when you often lose contact with your own body and mind, feelings keep you grounded and they remind you of who you are.

Last night you finally found out who caught you and it wasn’t a pleasant surprise. Aziel Nowak is a name you’ve already heard before, but not in the best way. The guy is totally crazy and if that’s not enough, he is kind of a genius as well. These two never sit well with each other and you knew it was just a matter of time before you had to face him, but you didn’t think these would be the circumstances.

Nowak’s father, Aleksander was a well-known scientist in the circles of HYDRA, he was one of the assholes responsible for wiping Bucky’s head, unfortunately, his own creation brought his death upon him. Bucky killed him during a raid, all while Aleksander was trying to trigger him, but Bucky was faster than him and shoot him in the head before he could get the second trigger word out. Aziel swore to seek revenge for his father’s death and made it clear that his big plan is to take out every avenger one by one, but all during completely destroying Bucky in every possible way.

Stuck in a clear tube, one that was built specially for super soldiers, you stood in his lab as he got everything ready for his master plan with you.

“The winter soldier was full of flaws,” he started to explain to you, working behind his computer while you couldn’t do anything to stop the madness. Even if you could break out of the tube, you were terribly outnumbered with the hoard of guards in the room, all of them armed and ready to rip you apart. It would have been a suicidal mission.

“The trigger words take a lot of time to enlist and sometimes, we just don’t have time for that. We need our soldier instantly, in a push of a button, if I might add,” he smirked and you almost gagged. He was a lowlife, disgusting middle-aged man, completely out of touch of reality, wrapped up in his own head with his ridiculous misconceptions and twisted view of the world.

“But fear no more, I have a better solution,” he grinned at you, holding up a tiny chip between his fingers and your jaw flexed. You didn’t know what it was, but you had guesses. “Spent years working on this little thing and now I can finally test it out and you get to be the lucky one to do it. Start the gas,” he ordered and a moment later some kind of gas started to fill the tube up. Your pathetic attempt to escape was cut off shortly when you felt your whole body freeze as you inhaled the gas. You just stood there, completely no control over your own body. The back of the tube opened with a hiss once the gas cleared out from around you and you felt a sharp stabbing at the back of your neck. You couldn’t even gasp, you were as frozen as a statue, unable to defend yourself and you truly felt like it’s the end. You wish it was though.

Nowak implanted the chip into your spine and you could feel the wires cling into your nerves, melting into your body like a parasite. A single tear rolled down your cheek as your wound was closed off.

“This is going to be so much fun,” Nowak smirked when he walked into your sight again. He had a control panel in his hands and as he pushed some buttons electricity bolted through your whole body and you completely lost control over your actions. Your body moved without your consent, arms and legs acting without your brain actually telling them.

You became a prisoner in your own body.

The night was spent fighting with Nowak’s best guards as he tested out his new toy: you. He could control your whole body thanks to the chip and while you were screaming and shouting in your head, there was no escape. He made you into his ragdoll and there was nothing you could do against it.

He switched the chip off when you were thrown back into the cell. You sobbed for hours probably as you tried to get the thing out of yourself, blood was dripping down your back, but you had to accept that it was too deep, clinging onto your spine, you couldn’t get it out with your bare hands.

Now you are lying on the floor and try to remember who you are, because you’ve been feeling like you lost touch with your true self. The only thing that has been helping is remembering your favorite memories.

It makes your heart flutter when you realize that most of them have Bucky in them. Your most favorite? The time you spent in London. Those days are the closest and dearest to your heart and now you just wish you could go back in time for even just an hour. Strolling down the streets like any other tourists without a worry in the world, watching the city lay in front of you as you ride the London Eye or walking along the River Thames. You felt so normal, so happy, sharing your time with the man you probably love the most in the whole wide world.

“I could live here,” you sighed when the Big Ben came into view above the brick buildings.

“It rains too much here,” Bucky furrowed his eyebrows at you, his arm brushing against yours.

“I like the rain. Love the smell of it, love how refreshing it feels after it,” you chuckled.

“And what would you want to do here?”

“I don’t know,” you shrugged. “Maybe I would work at a library. Or a café!”

“You want to be a barista!” He chuckled, smirking down on you. “Is this why you wanted Tony to get a fancy espresso machine?”

“Well, not just because of this, I just really like good coffee,” you smiled up at him. “What, do you not like my coffee?”

“Oh, I do. You make the best in the tower,” he nodded.

You could always talk about anything and everything with him. He understood you so well and you liked to think it worked the other way as well. That you were just as important to him as he was to you.

“Bucky.” His name falls from your lips like a desperate plea, as if you could summon him and he’d be here any moment to rescue you. But nothing changes and you are still on your own.

You’ve been wondering if this is how he felt when they made him to be the winter soldier. If he went through the same struggle or if it was worse. He said he doesn’t remember everything he did, as if sometimes he just completely disappeared in his own head, but other times live vividly in his memories.

You remember everything too. The chip has no control over your mind and thoughts, it works as another brain that takes over control in your body, caging your mind in your own head while it works your body.

A siren rings through the building and you gasp, your head snapping in the direction of the metal door. You hear orders in a foreign language and running footsteps somewhere down the hallway. Pushing yourself up you move to the far end of the room as you hear someone approaching your cell. Before the lock clicks on the door, you feel the familiar electricity run through your body and you breathe out before you lose control over your body again. You stand up, not because you want to, but because this is what they ordered. The door swings open and Nowak walks in.

“Guess your little friends figured out where you are. It’s time to show them my masterpiece.”

The military base is pretty lively for a closed off one. As the team is approaching the complex they inspect the possibilities they have to get inside.

“Alright, we have to be smart about this. Nowak is a psychopath,” Tony announces when the quinjet is nearing the base. “Barron and Natasha, we need a diversion. Banner, you stay here and only come in if it’s needed,” he starts and everyone nods along. “Wanda, the same goes for you as well. Listen to the call word and be ready to interfere. Sam and I are going to clear the main building, try to find Nowak. Barnes, Cap, you are tracking Y/N down. Everything clear?”

“As daylight,” Steve nods as he grabs his shield from the side.

Once the quinjet touches down, everyone goes their own way, going along the plan they discussed. Nat and Clint do well with the diversion, a great amount of guards and soldiers are drawn in their way as Tony and Sam make their way into the main building of the base.

“Where should we look, Buck?” Steve asks his friend as they hide behind one of the quarters. Bucky looks around, inspects the place and nods towards a building that’s clearly powered with a lot more electricity for whatever reason, Thick cables running inside, snaking under the doors, pouring extra power inside. Steve nods and once the way is somewhat cleared out, they head inside.

They take down the few HYDRA agents that try to get in their way as they run further into the building without even breaking a sweat. They easily reach the lab and it almost feels way too easy.

“Something is not right,” Steve says as the two of them walk into the empty lab, curious inspecting all the machines and equipment they have absolutely no idea how to work.

Bucky’s eyes fall on the tube in the far corner of the room and walking closer he gets an eerie feeling and he can already picture you trapped inside, the thought making his stomach churn.

“Anyone found Nowak yet?” Steve asks through the com.

“Negative,” Nat grunts back in the middle of her own fight.

“Haven’t seen the fucker either,” Tony answers and Steve sighs.

Just as Bucky is about to head to the door that leads out of the lab at the other end from where they entered, the sliding door opens and they both get ready to fight whatever is about to come into sight. But neither of them were expecting you to walk out.

“Y/N?!” your name falls from Steve’s lips as he lets his shield down, staring back at you confused. But you don’t answer, just stop a few feet away from them, staring blankly ahead of you and Bucky swears he was on the verge of fainting from his anger, because he knew those eyes all too well, because he used to see them in the mirror.

“Y/N, what did they do?” he whispers desperately, a hand reaching out to you, but it’s quickly cut off when you grab his hand and easily throw him over, his back contacting the floor with a painful thump.

Hell breaks loose fast as you start fighting them off, using the advantage of their shock upon seeing you, working against them while they try to make you remember them.

“Y/N, it’s us! We don’t want to hurt you!” Steve growls when he saves himself from one of your hits, his shield coming between the two of you.

I know! I know it’s you, but I can’t do anything! You scream in your own head, unable to even form the words. You’re a prisoner in this body you thought to be yours, but it betrayed you.

You never fought both of them before at the same time, but now that it’s happening, you’re surprisingly good at it, handling two super soldiers at the same time when one of them has a vibranium arm while the other one keeps throwing a vibranium shield at you, though it’s clear they aren’t giving their best, afraid of hurting you even though you’re in killer mode right now and determined to rip them apart.

“Do you think they did the same to her as they did to you?” Steve asks out of breath when you throw them against a wall and return to fight Bucky.

“It’s something else. Look at the back of her neck!” he growls when you throw a punch in his way that he catches with his metal arm, holding your fist tight as you keep pushing it and this moment of pause allows Steve to take a look at you from the back.

“Oh shit,” he breathes out.

Yes! Take this shit out and I’m free! You scream, but no one hears. Your fist frees from Bucky’s grip and you kick him in the stomach so hard he snaps against the desk behind him and wasting no time you jump right at him, the fight continues.

“If anyone finds Nowak, don’t kill him. We’ve got Y/N and she is being controlled by something,” Steve explains through his earpiece before throwing his shield in your direction right when you’re about to attach your hands to Bucky’s neck. It hits you in the side and you fall to the ground grunting.

“Don’t fucking hurt her!” Bucky growls at him, but Steve gives him a look.

“She is trying to kill us, we have to do something!”

You’re on your feet fast, already charging at Steve and it catches him by surprise, he stumbles back as your knee collides with his stomach, a punch thrown at his pretty face.

“I see Nowak!” Tony’s voice comes through the earpieces, but they don’t have the chance to celebrate, because you’re kicking their ass big time.

When you want to launch yourself at Steve again, Bucky’s arms wrap around your waist from behind and he pulls back, pushing you away, making you stumble, but you’re back on your feet quickly. Your eyes meet and you want to touch him so badly, run into his arms, tell him how happy you are to see him and that he was the only thing that kept you sane, but instead, you throw yourself at him, fist colliding with the side of his head.

I’m so sorry, Buck!

“We’ve got Nowak!” Tony announces and Steve sighs in relief.

“Does he have something like a remote or controller?” he asks while you and Bucky are at each other’s throat. You throw him to a desk and drag him across it, papers and equipment flying everywhere before he ends up on the floor groaning. You have the perfect chance to throw a punch in again, but you turn around and run back towards the door you came through.

“He has a controlling panel, do you think it’s connected to Y/N?” Tony asks.

“Very much likely, but please hurry up, she is trying to run away!” Steve begs as they both start to chase after you in the labyrinth of hallways. You’re footsteps are echoing on the checkered floors as they are trying to catch up with you. You take a left turn and get out of their vision just for a split second. As they get around the corner they immediately freeze when they find you standing there, a gun pointing right at Bucky’s head, a deadly, but still rather blank expression in your eyes.

“Shit,” Steve breathes out.

“Y/N, I know you are in there,” Bucky speaks up.

Yes! I’m here! I’m here Bucky!

“The controller is locked, but we are working on it,” Tony announces through the com, but it doesn’t help their situation right now. If he can’t unlock the controller, you are likely to shoot them both if they don’t do something. As you stare back at your two friends, you are using everything in you to try to get back the control over your own body, but it’s like you’re just silently screaming in an empty, locked room.

“I know you hear me. Please, try to fight it off. I know how hard it is, but if anyone can do it, it’s you,” Bucky continues and if only you were in charge of yourself, you’d already be sobbing at the broken expression he is staring back at you with. Your finger is on the trigger and you can feel your muscles trembling.

“Buck, we need to disarm her,” Steve tells him, but he shakes his head.

“No. We can’t do that without hurting her and I’m not doing that.”

Oh Bucky! That’s the only way now!

“She is gonna shoot, Bucky. We have to do something!”

“She could have already fired. She is fighting it off, I know it.”

“Or maybe it’s just whatever it is inside her messing with her head as Tony is trying to break the controller.”

“Y/N, sweetheart, I know you can do this. I’m not gonna hurt you, you can fight it!” Bucky continues, ignoring Steve’s words, who stands behind him with his jaw flexed.

I can’t do it, you need to knock me out! I’m not strong enough to do it!

You are trying everything you can and you are already holding your finger back, you would have already pulled the trigger if it wasn’t for your resistance somewhere in this cage. But you just know you’re not strong enough to stop yourself forever, they will need to disarm you, there’s no choice.

You stare back at Bucky, his forehead and left cheek bloody from wounds you gave him and he probably has a few bruises under his leather jacket as well, all because of you. Nowak made you hurt the person you love the most and now his life is being threatened. You know he won’t fight you, he will not try to disarm you, he would rather take the bullet than cause pain to you, more than what he already did during your fight.

The gun trembles in your hand as you’re desperately trying to gain your control back, sweat beading on your forehead, your chest heaving.

“Stark, we are running out of time!” Steve warns him through the com.

“Just one more second!” he answers, but you’re afraid you don’t have that much time.

“Y/N, please!” Bucky begs, a single tear rolling down his cheek and you can feel your own heart breaking at the sight of him. You can’t believe it’s because of you, you are causing him pain when you swore to work to see him his happiest in his life.

Your jaw flexes and you are on the verge of breaking, the tiniest light flashing in front of you as you keep pushing, trying to take back control, but then you feel like losing again. It all happens so fast, you can barely process.

You know you’re about to pull the trigger, you can’t stop yourself, but just as you are about to do it, Tony’s voice rings through the com.

“We got it!”

In a blink of the eye, the invisible grip that’s been keeping you tight vanishes, the cage opens up and suddenly you feel yourself come alive again as the most painful, deafening and desperate scream rips from your throat, the gun falling from your grip before you collapse on the ground in complete shock of everything that went down.

“Get it out! Get it out! I can’t do this!” you scream, your nails scratching the back of your neck once again, trying to reach the chip, but you’re just breaking your own skin once again, blood dripping down your back.

“Hey, it’s alright, sweetheart. We got you. You’re gonna be fine!” Bucky falls to his knees, cradling you into his arms as you sob into his hard chest, hands gripping the fabric of his jacket tight as your salty tears soak your cheeks, your whole body shaking.

“I’m so sorry! I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” you repeat, shaking your head as if you were trying to get rid of the memories, but they are still there, you still know what it’s like to be a prisoner in your own head but at least now you are with Bucky and that brings you the peace of mind you’ve been seeking all along.

“You don’t have to be sorry, it’s alright. You’ll be alright, sweetheart, you’re safe with me now,” he murmurs into your hair, his arms holding you so tight it’s starting to get hard to even breathe, but you wouldn’t have it any other way.

You cling onto him as if your life depends on it and in a way, it really does. Bucky gathers you into his arms as you keep mumbling your apologies and begs to make it stop even though you are not being controlled any longer. He carries you to the quinjet as he keeps murmuring reassuring words into your ear, telling you that everything is going to be alright now. You are in good hands.

You don’t let go of him on the way back and he doesn’t seem to want to do it either. Curled up on his lap, you let yourself fall into a shallow slumber as his fingers are dancing up and down your back, keeping you close to his chest, the feeling of finally being home taking over your senses.

Arriving back to New York you are helped off the jet by Bucky or course as he walks you to the med bay where Dr. Cho is already waiting for your arrival.

“Don’t worry, Y/N. We’ll fix you up,” she smiles at you as you are expected to let go of Bucky, but your head snaps back in his direction in panic, hands grabbing onto his anxiously.

“It’s alright, I’ll be here waiting for you. My stupid face will be the first thing you see when you wake up,” he jokes, his tired eyes fixated on you as you hesitate to let go of him, but eventually do it.

Keeping his promise Bucky stay outside as long as you are under Helen’s hands, not able to even drag him away to change clothes. The only thing he can make himself is dragging his ass to the nearest restroom to at least wash the dried blood off his face, but he quickly returns to his previous spot.

It turns out removing the chip is a bit more complicated than anyone thought. The micro wires are so deep in your nerves, Dr. Cho has to be careful if he doesn’t want to paralyze you with just one wrong move. Five entire hours pass by before the chip is finally out of you, before they place you in one of the rooms until you wake up from the anesthesia. Bucky is right by your side, holding your hand soothingly as he waits for you to open your eyes again. When he sees your eyelashes fluttering, he holds his breath as your eyes open and you adjust to the light and the view around you.

“Hey, sweetheart. How are you feeling?” he softly asks, gently brushing a strand of hair out of your forehead.

“Like… I just fought against two super soldiers,” you breathe out in a joking manner that makes him chuckle. You’re back and he missed you more than he could ever express.

As you let out a long and heave breath, you feel everything coming back to you and you can’t stop your sobs and the tears falling from your eyes.

“I’m so sorry, Bucky,” you gasp and he is quick to leap forward, one hand holding yours while the other one cups your cheek as he makes you turn your head towards him.

“No, no, no. You have nothing to be sorry about, Y/N. You did everything you could, you fought it so well!”

“But I hurt you! I didn’t want to hurt you, I was screaming inside my head, but I just couldn’t stop!” you sob shaking your head.

“I know, it wasn’t your fault! Please don’t think for a moment anyone blames you!” he begs, his bright blue eyes glued to your pained face as you fight your tears back. A hand moves to the back of your neck, feeling the wound where the chip used to be.

“Is it gone?” you ask in a whisper.

“It is. Helen took good care of you. You’re free now,” he smiles and you feel a wave of relief washing over you right away. Your body is yours again, finally.

“I didn’t think I would be myself again,” you admit, your voice slightly shaking. Bucky’s heart breaks at your words, but remains silent as you carry on. “I kept thinking of memories that feel the closest to me and it was the only thing that kept me sane. And I realized that the dearest ones are all with you, Bucky.”

His lips part at your revelation as his heart is beating fast against his ribcage. He has been waiting for this moment to come for what feels like eternity and now it might become his reality.

“When I thought I would never be the same again, I just thought about… you. That I don’t get to see you again, when I always wanted to spend all my days with you, Buck.”

“I want to spend all my days with you too, sweetheart,” he breathes out, leaning closer until his face is only inches away from yours. “I hated the thought of you being gone without ever telling you how I feel.”

“How do you feel, Bucky?” you ask in a trembling voice.

“You are my everything, Y/N. You are my best friend and everything beyond and I was such a fool for not telling you before this, but the thought of losing you made me realize that I have to stop being a coward,” he chuckles with tears bubbling in his eyes. You reach out and cup his face in your palms, your thumb running along the dark circles under his eyes and you wonder if he even slept a moment since you’ve been gone.

“We were both idiots, don’t beat yourself,” you chuckle softly, making his mouth turns into a grin before he leans closer and his lips finally press against yours, capturing them in a sweet, so-good-to-have-you-back kiss you’ve been dreaming about for probably way too long but at least since London. It’s soft and gentle, filled with the promise of many more to come. Thought you’re trying to stretch it as long as possible, a cough is heard from the door and you both pull back, turning your attention at the rest of the team standing there, all of them happy to see you again, or maybe to see the two of you finally taking the step they’ve been waiting for to happen.

“I guess you are feeling better now, yeah?” Nat smirks as she walks further inside, giving your shoulder a gentle squeeze.

“Much better,” you admit with a shy chuckle. “Thank you for the rescuing, guys.”

“It’s the least we could do,” Sam smirks at you.

“And Barnes would have gone nuts if we didn’t find you so that was also quite motivating,” Tony jokes nodding towards the man by your side, who is still holding your hand as if you could disappear any moment.

“Steve, I’m sorry for trying to hurt you,” you breathe out at the sight of the tall blonde man, but he just shrugs with a warm smile.

“It’s alright. At least now we know that you could easily kick our ass at the same time,” he jokes nodding towards Bucky, though you all know they were holding back, not wanting to hurt you. You still remember the look in Bucky’s eyes when you held him at gunpoint. He could have easily disarmed you but it would have cost you at least a broken arm, yet he refused to lay a hand on you and believed that you could control yourself again.

When the team is gone and it’s just the two of you again in the room, Bucky sits at the edge of your bed, his fingers playing with your hand over the white sheets as you let yourself fall into the sense of safety again.

“You should have disarmed me, Bucky,” you tell him, breaking the silence.

“I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“I could have killed you,” you retort.

“I know,” he nods, his lips pressing into a thin line. “But I just couldn’t cause you any more pain.”

“The fact that I was hurting you was already a pain, Bucky. You should have just knock me out.”

“Would you ever do the same to me?” he questions and though you open your lips to answer, you realize that he is right. You would have never hurt him on purpose, not even if he was back at being the winter soldier. You could have never hurt your sweet Bucky, the man that means more than anything ever in your torturous life.

“See? How do you expect me to do it then?” he smiles softly. “But it doesn’t matter, you are free now. It’s all in the past.”

“It still broke my heart, seeing you like that.”

“I can only say the same,” he breathes out, his eyes softening on you. “I wanted to help you so bad, but I couldn’t…”

“You helped me a lot,” you smile at him, brushing a few loose strands of hair out of his forehead. He smiles back at you and through his ocean eyes are still looking tired and a little bloodshot, but there’s a tiny little glimmer in them, something you’ve seen before, it was the most apparent when Shuri was successful at ridding him from the winter soldier and you also saw it in London. You’ve been seeking this little shine for a long time and you’re happy to have it back.

“We should go on a vacation,” he suggests, his smile growing wider with each passing second.

“Oh, I didn’t know avengers had vacation days,” you tease him.

“They do, as much as they want,” he nods grinning. “Where would you want to go? Do you want to go back to London?” he questions as he brings your hand up to his lips, kissing your bruised knuckles.

“Mm, we should go somewhere new,” you purse your lips. “I’ve always wanted to see Amsterdam.”

“Then Amsterdam it is,” he chuckles before leaning closer he kisses your lips gently with a promise of a bright future together.

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed it!

[wndaswife]

https://www.tumblr.com/wndaswife/720242083071442944/why-is-captain-america-and-the-winter-solider

Zemo’s actions in Civil War is that of a pitiful man. Plus unlike the comics, he is not a part of Hydra or the Nazi’s (at least as far as we know of.) I apologize if this reads like a “it’s actually this, stupid”, I only mean to share a perspective and point out one thing. Again, I sincerely apologize if this seems antagonistic in any way shape or form.

o so he is not a nazi ✨ well that’s good and better for him

i don’t rlly have a problem with his character (now that ik he’s not actually a nazi………) but i find it just hard to enjoy him or be entertained when ik he got his redemption and pity faster because he was a man, whereas wanda who deserved that much n more from audiences before it was explicitly stated in wandavision didn’t get it

if she were a male character, her loss of her country and the struggles with immigration (as all immigrants experience, especially her who was just a few semantics away from being a refugee) and her family would’ve been immediately discussed and with less backlash we still see today by antis

we see this all the time with female n male characters, how a woman can do exactly as a man would and he’d always be glorified for what she’d be criticized for

and even tho he isn’t a nazi (again… good bc i misunderstood that) he at the time was still more morally incorrect than wanda was based on his past actions and yet the first ten minutes of his character is pity and hers is not even discussed properly tho she was literally a more important character than he was for years… even after wandavision explicitly stated her trauma and experiences i haven’t ever seen a single person criticize zemo while people have no problem belittling what kind of things someone goes through being a victim of what both those characters experienced with wanda (albeit wanda had it worse). i’ve seen plenty of wanda hate for what people accept with zemo

he’s fine and i can understand why he’d be redeemed but i just can’t enjoy watching him because he reminds me of the mcu audience’s gender bias and misogyny lol

[azaleavi]

Woman Like Me - Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Bucky meets someone in Madripoor who reminds him of himself a long time ago

Warning(s): language, bad writing lol

Author’s Note: this is my first time writing so any feedback is appreciated and i didn’t know how to end it so it’s horrible but i tried

Word count: 2.2K

Part 2

“Selby will see you now”

The three men walk through the corridors and into the room where Selby is waiting for them. It is full of cash and guns on tables.

“You should know Baron. People don’t just come into my bar and make demands.”

“Not a demand, an offer” Zemo sits down on the couch while Sam and Bucky stand on either side of it.

“A lot has changed since you were here last” Selby eyes Bucky up and down, clearly recognising him as the Winter Soldier “By the way I thought you were rotting away in a German prison” she turns back to the man sitting in front of her and lifts her eyebrows “How did you escape?”

“People like us always find a way, don’t we?” Zemo shrugs “I’m sure you’ve already figured out what I’m here for”

“Yore taller than I’d heard, Smiling Tiger” the woman points at Sam then smiles at him, not paying attention to Zemo anymore. Sam nods slightly, trying to speak as little as possible. Selby playfully purrs at him, joking about his name. Sam looks away not wanting to give her the satisfaction of replying to that. She turns back to Zemo and smiles.

“What’s the offer?”

“Tell us what you know about the super-soldier serum” Zemo stands up walking over to where Bucky is standing acting like the Winter Soldier “and I give you him, along with the code words to control him, of course” he holds Bucky’s shoulders while he tries his best to not react. That was not part of the plan. But of course you can’t trust Zemo to not change it to whatever benefits him.”He will do anything you want” he grabs a hold of his chin insinuating things Bucky doesn’t even want to think about. He hates it. Feeling like a toy between the two and he can’t do anything about it. Not if he wants to succeed in getting the information they need.

“Now that’s the Zemo I remember” she smiles, pleased. “I’m glad I decided not to kill you immediately” Zemo sits back down on the couch waiting for Selby to start talking.

“Yeah you were right to came to me. Arrogant, but right. The super-soldier serum is here in Madripoor. Dr. Wilfred Nagel is the man you wanna thank. Or…” she looks at Bucky for a second “condemn, depending on what side you’re on.”

“Is Nagel still in Madripoor?”

“Oh. The bread crumbs you can have for free but the bakery is gonna cost you Baron. And unfortunately you don’t have the means to pay me” she stands, walking closer to Sam. Bucky immediately tenses, ready for a fight. Something doesn’t feel right.” I don’t need your Soldier” she smiles, something sinister behind it ”as I have my own little puppet. Tell her to come in” the three of them freeze as one of the men with guns goes through a door in the back.

They hear his voice but can’t make out what he says. When he stops talking a woman walks out, into the room they’re in. Bucky feels like his world is turned upside down. The woman is fully decked out with guns and knives and is wearing tactical gear with combat boots. But that’s not what unnerves Bucky. It’s the dead, soulless eyes that stare back at him. A cruel reminder of what he used to look like.

“Come here girl” Selby smiles and the woman complies without a question never taking her eyes off the strangers in the room “look at that. Isn’t it amazing what a few words can do a person’s mind when said in the right order?” Bucky finally looks at Selby realising she is watching him “Isn’t that right Winter Soldier?” Bucky can’t speak. He knows he can’t break character, but it’s damn hard not to when he sees someone like him and he knows he should help.

“How is this possible?” Zemo breaks the silence, clearly baffled by seeing another winter soldier-like person.

“Well it was quite easy to get a hold of Hydra’s files in Madripoor” Selby walks behind the woman who can’t be older than 25 and puts her hands on her shoulder. “Don’t worry though, they were sadly destroyed after we used it once on her. But we got the perfect soldier out of it” Bucky tenses at the mention of the perfect soldier. That’s what he was called back then. I need to help this girl he thinks I can’t let her go through the same shit I had to go through. He looks at Sam who is already looking back at him. They seem to think about the same thing.

“Harcos…” Selby starts talking in a foreign language but she is interrupted by a glass window shattering. Bucky sees Selby on the floor dead, a bullet hole in her chest and he immediately goes into fight mode. The woman or harcos he should say doesn’t waste any time and takes a gun off her back but before she can start shooting he is in front of her. He tries to twist the gun out of her hands but he finds out that she is strong. Too strong for her to be human. She is a super soldier which shouldn’t surprise him at this point but it still does.

They start fighting but their strength is evenly matched and Bucky doesn’t want to kill her. He uses his metal arm to finally grab the gun from her and throws it to the side. She kicks him in the chest and he is flung backwards into the wall. Bucky gets a hold of the gun he threw away and knocks her out with the back of it. The others finish fighting as well and they look at each other.

“Now what?” asks Sam looking at the woman lying on the floor.

“I recommend we kill her” chimes in Zemo before Bucky can start talking.

“We are not killing her” Bucky goes and picks her up, thinking about how they could get her out of here without drawing too much attention. He hold her bridal style and puts her head against his neck, hiding her face.”we need to get out of here and fast” Zemo walks to the door, opens it a little and looks through the open space.

“Put down your guns and follow my lead” the other two are hesitant to do what Zemo says but they don’t really have any other choice. They walk through the doors and out into the streets trying to look as casual as possible. Well, as casual you can be with an unconscious woman in your hands. But in Madripoor it’s not an uncommon sight so no one really pays attention to them. That is until every single person in the vicinity starts getting text messages and looks at them. Shit they know what happened Bucky thinks and they start to walk faster. Suddenly the people around them get out their guns and start shooting at them. Zemo runs to the right while Bucky and Sam start running straight down the street.

“I can’t run in these heels” Sam shouts trying to keep up with Bucky who is running slower than he could so he doesn’t leave Sam behind. They turn into a darker alley with to people on motorcycles following them. Suddenly two shots rang out from somewhere in one of the buildings and the motorcyclists are dead on the ground.

“You seem to have a guardian angel” Zemo shows up, out of breath from all the running.

“Well this is too perfect” Sharon shows up out of nowhere holding a gun in her hands. Her eyes immediately go to the woman in Bucky’s hands and the men can see her surprise. “Please tell me that’s not Harcos in your hands” Bucky looks down to see the woman, who seems to be calmly sleeping. How she didn’t wake up while they were running around is beyond him, but he is glad he doesn’t have to fight her again.

“Would you believe me if I said no?” asks Sam trying to lighten the situation.

“We need to get out of here before they see you carrying around Madripoor’s most valuable asset.” Bucky tenses, pulling her closer and not liking how that sounds. Asset. The word brings back horrible memories of times he would much rather forget. He needs to help this girl. He will not allow someone else be called asset “come on, I have a place in High Town where you can lie low” Sharon starts walking and the men follow him, Sam dragging Zemo with him.

They walk into her place which is filled with stolen artwork, that turns out to be the original.

“So can you tell us who is this harcos that Bucky decided to save?” Sam sends a look at Bucky who is putting the woman down on the couch. She is still out cold which is starting to get concerning.

“Y/N L/N. 24 years old. Has been a super soldier since she was a kid. She was Nagel’s first patient” she draws air quotes with her fingers ”well… the first successful one anyway. And when the Blip happened Selby used the chaos to get the files on the brainwashing and used it on her. Her memories are not gone like your resident Winter Soldier here but she still has trigger words that turn her into a mindless killing machine” they all watched the girl who started to stir awake from her deep sleep.

“Uhm… how are we going to go about this?” Sam watched her intently, getting ready for a fight. Bucky was still standing next to her when she opened her eyes staring straight into his. She sat up, panicked trying to crawl back from him. She obviously knew who he was and she was scared. How is she scared of him? She is supposed to be a super-soldier.

“What do you want?” she speaks for the first time.

“Hey it’s okay, we don’t want to hurt you” Sam walked over to her trying to calm her down. She snaps her head at him.

“Well then I would like an explanation” Y/N is till unsure about them but once in her life she wants to trust people and maybe the Avengers would be a good start.

“Do you remember fighting me?” Bucky speaks up.

“Yeah, kinda hard to forget fighting the Winter Soldier” she looks back at Bucky.

“I’m not him anymore” he shakes his head.

“Well at least someone got out of this thing” she shows a pained smile

“I head you have trigger words too”

“Yes and I would rather you don’t say them” he can’t understand how she can joke about something like this.

“We don’t even know the words” Sharon speaks

“Although I wish I did” Zemo smiles trying to get a rise out of y/n. But he doesn’t know her so he doesn’t know that that’s a very hard thing to do. Oh she gets angry easily but she was trained to not show it and not act on it.

“Very funny Zemo” she sends him a mock smile. He seems surprised that she knows who he is which she notices “Yes I know who you are, don’t be so surprised. So what are the Avengers doing in Madripoor?” she turns to Sam.

“A group of people got hold of the super-soldier serum and they used it on themselves so we are trying to stop them” Sam explains

“Sounds fun”

“I think she would be a valuable help” Zemo speaks again and Bucky immediately thinks that he has some ulterior motives.

“Stop your schemes Zemo” Sam shuts him down but y/n seems to be deep in thought.

“I mean she could help…” Bucky starts but Sam sends him a pointed look so he shuts his mouth.

“We do not need another liability with us” Sam looks at y/n who is already looking at him “No offence”

“None taken, but I agree with James” she stands up and walks over to Sam “I understand that I’m not stable, but I know what it’s like to have the serum in your veins and I want to help any way I can. As long as no one says the words I’m good”

“Yeah that’s exactly my concern. What if someone does know the trigger words and uses it against us? Against you?” he points at her. She thinks about if for a second.

“Okay how about this? I go with you but only step in to help when you say I can.” She offers, a hopeful look in her eyes. Sam knows she just wants to help but it’s still risky. He sighs.

“You can come if you do what I say. But if I feel like you are risking our mission you are sitting it out and only come in when I tell you to. Understand?” he says firmly, holding out his hand. She takes it and they shake hands.

“Let’s get these super-soldiers”

[my-darling-luna]

Your Majesty Chapter 1

Please note that NONE of the gifs that I use are supposed to show the reader’s skin color or weight!!! It’s so hard to find gifs on here because I’m new to Tumblr and idk how things work. I’m so sorry, I’m trying to learn lol.

Your Majesty Masterlist

Summary- It has been more than a decade since the Kingdom of Ultron lost their princess. (Y/n) was just a 17 year old that didn’t know much about her past. Realizations happen and lives are crossed. How will (Y/n) handle the new pressure?

Stucky x reader

---

     “Up, let’s go, we have a long day ahead of us!” (Y/n)’s mom chirped, a smile on her face even considering how early in the morning it was.

      “Ugh, it’s still dark out though.” She mumbled from where her face was pushed into her pillow.

       “It’s unbelievable that you’ve been getting up everyday at the same time for so many years and you still act like this.” Her mom swatted her blanketed form with the dish rag she was holding. “Let’s go dear, your father isn’t going to be happy if you’re late.” (Y/n) groaned but got up and pulled on her working clothes.

      “I hate these stupid dresses.” (Y/n) huffed while trying to pull down the bodice of her work clothing.

       “I’m sorry we can’t afford more.” (Y/n)’s heart dropped at the thought that her mom believed she wasn’t grateful for everything her they did. 

       “No, no, I didn’t mean it like that,” (Y/n) rushed over to kiss her mom on the cheek, “I meant that I don’t like how the corset feels. It isn’t you mama, I promise.” 

       “Okay, just know I love you so much.” (Y/n) smiled as she laced up her boots and tied a brown apron around her waist. “Now go milk the cows, we need it for cheese.”

        “Okay, love you mama.” (Y/n) said before walking out of the small house to the backyard. 

        “Morning princess.” (Y/n) ‘s father kissed her forehead before handing her a bucket. 

        “Morning father, how’s Betty?” (Y/n) motioned over to the cow that was grazing the field. 

        “Still hanging on there, she seems a little stressed out though.” He sighed as he looked out to the field while squinting his eyes. 

       “We’ll figure it out, okay? We always do.” Giving her a small smile, he motioned over to the old cow. 

      “Go on, we can’t wait too long.” (Y/n) sighed as the weight of the world seemed to be on her shoulders. We always do, but what if we don’t? (Y/n) scolded herself for thinking that way. We always do.

***

       “(Y/n) come on, you have to head out now so you can make it home before dark.” Her mama called from the doorway to the outside, watching as her daughter hobbled in one one foot as she forced her shoe on. “Be careful, okay?” Worry was deeply settled in her mother’s eyes. 

      “Mama, I’ll be fine, it’s only to the next town.” 

      “But you’ve never been alone on this trip before.” (Y/n) smiled as she took the basket. 

      “I’ll be back home and safe before you know it.” Her mom sighed, but nodded.

      “Love you!”

      “Love you both!” (Y/n) waved to her mother and father at the doorway of their house. Mama was pulled closed by her father. 

     “She’ll be okay, my love.” Mama pulled her shawl closer around her body.

     “I know.” 

***

      (Y/n) hummed to herself as she walked down the rocky path to the next town. The Kingdom of Ultron was huge and technology was something that ran ramped in every little corner there was. She loved going on these trips as this was so much different from the poor, censored land of Hydra. There was a lot of hate in her kingdom which was something that she always despised about the land. 

      “Hi Peter.” The small boy jumped up and down at the sight of (Y/n) standing in front of him and his aunt. 

      “Hi (Y/n)! Why are you here?” (Y/n) smiled. 

      “I come here for the same thing every two weeks, Peter.” She set down the basket of cheese on the table in front of her. “Hi May, how are you.” The woman smiled as she gave the younger girl a hug. 

      “I’m doing good, how are you and your parents? No one came with you?” 

      “Not this time and we’re doing as well as we can be over the border.” May nodded in understanding as she ran her fingers through the young boy’s hair. 

      “How much for this block?” (Y/n) nervously asked, hoping that it was enough to feed her family until she could come back. 

      “Maybe a loaf and a half?” May watched as the younger girl’s body deflated. “I’m sorry, sweetheart, but things are slow around this time and I have to feed a growing boy.” (Y/n) nodded in understanding and took the bread from May. “I’m so sorry.” 

      (Y/n) grimaced. “It’s okay, May.” It wasn’t okay; a loaf and a half wasn’t even enough for a week, let alone two. She walked away from the stall with a goodbye and made it about ten feet before she knocked into someone. 

      “How dare you knock into me.” A man stood in front of (Y/n) with a snarl on her face. 

      “I didn’t mean to.” She spoke back lightly, trying to calm the situation so that there wasn’t a fight. “I wasn’t paying attention, I’m so sorry.”

     “Do you even know who I am?” (Y/n) shook her head as the man laughed. “I am certainly more important to you. What’s your name, little girl?” (Y/n) fumed at the nickname. 

     “My name is (Y/n) and don’t ever call me a little girl.” 

     “Aww, the baby thinks that she’s so strong, what kind of name is (Y/n)?”

     “I was named after the missing princess.” (Y/n) looked at him in disgust.

     “You’re probably as worthless as her too.” The man smacked (Y/n) in the face before pulling the basket out of her hand. “Only a loaf and a half? Disgusting.” He handed the bread to one of his men standing around who ripped it up and spread it amongst the men. (Y/n) cried out from the pain in her cheek and the pain at watching her bread going to waste on a bunch of jerks. 

     “What is going on here?” A voice boomed as a man pushed between (Y/n) and the man. “Zemo, if you don’t leave right now, you will be arrested for trespassing on Ultron land.” The new man threatened 'Zemo’ before turning to (Y/n). 

     “Are you okay?” He had a bright red coat and hat on with gold details on the edges.

     (Y/n) dusted off her skirt as she stood up from the ground. “I’m fine, thank you.” The man before her gave her a hesitant look before holding his hand out for her to take. 

      “Let me go get you cleaned up.” (Y/n) shook her head before looking around at the small crowd that surrounded them. May and Peter stood in the middle before walking up to (Y/n). 

      “Are you okay? You’re bleeding.” May softly touched (Y/n)’s cheek and when she pulled back, red blood was covering the tips of her fingers. Zemo must’ve cut her with the rings on his hand. 

      “Like I said, I’m okay.” Peter looked up at (Y/n) with wide brown eyes and extended his hand out to her. A small piece of bread was held in his grasp.

      “You have it.” (Y/n) lightly took the piece of bread and kissed the boy’s cheek. 

      “Thank you, Peter.” (Y/n) turned back to the man in front of her. “I really appreciate you scaring that man off, but I have to get home before dark.” He shook his head. 

      “At least let me get you cleaned up.” (Y/n) was about to shake her head, but was cut off by May saying something. 

      “Yes, thank you Rhodey.” The man nodded with a smile. 

      “Come with me.” (Y/n) took his hand and he led her through the crowd and market to a carriage. She gazed over the beautiful white carriage that had red and gold blemishes on it. “Up you go.” Rhodey helped her get into the small, tight inside. The door closed behind them and he soon after hit the top of the carriage, making (Y/n) jump with the sudden and loud noise. “Oh I’m so sorry.” He pulled out a perfect white handkerchief from his pocket and handed it over to her. 

      “Thank you.” (Y/n) pressed it lightly into her cut, wincing at the slight pain in her cheek. Her eyes wandered over his outfit from the opposite side of the carriage. “Who are you?” Rhodey seemed shocked with the question. 

       “I’m Duke James Rhodes.” (Y/n) nodded while trying to play off the shock of the revelation. She knew he was important, but definitely not that important. He watched as the girl in front of him pushed the small piece of bread into her basket with a flinch. 

       “Where are you bringing me?” 

       “You ask an awful lot of questions.” He continued to smile. “I’m bringing you to the palace to fix you up. We should be pulling up now.” (Y/n) fidgeted in her seat at the thought of going to the palace in these clothes and looking like this. Another heavy knock on the carriage scared (Y/n) as the door opened and the footman let her out. The man flinched at her dirty hand touching his white glove. “Let’s go.” Following Rhodey, she walked up the palace steps and into the huge grand entrance. 

      “Rhodey, how did the market go?” A loud voice echoed through the empty space as a man with brown hair and intricate designs in his beard walked forward. The two embraced and the new man patted Rhodey’s shoulder roughly. 

       “Good,” he motioned for (Y/n) to move forward and she did, “I met this young lady in a confrontation with Zemo.” The man looked (Y/n) up and down before looking up at Rhodey. 

       “What was Zemo doing in this kingdom?” Rhodey shrugged. The man looked over to (Y/n). “Are you not going to bow?” He asked and (Y/n) froze. What was she supposed to do? She didn’t know how to curtsy. (Y/n) awkwardly bent in a way that she didn’t think that she could ever do again. A frown covered the man’s face. “We’ll have to work on that.” She flushed. 

       “Tony leave the poor girl alone, she’s bleeding.” A woman with strawberry blonde hair walked out into the main entrance and kissed Rhodey lightly on the cheek. 

       “Hello Pepper.” Rhodey turned to (Y/n). “As I said, Zemo was intimidating her and he hit her. He must’ve had rings on or something.” That’s what I thought, (Y/n) said in her head.

       “You poor girl, let’s go get you cleaned up.” Pepper put her arm around  (Y/n)‘s shoulder while carefully minding the built up filth. “What’s your name, darling?”

       “(Y/n).” Everyone stopped walking as man with the funny beard flinched and Pepper moved away from (Y/n). 

      “How old are you?” Pepper asked, her eyes staring with interest at the girl in front of her.

      “Seventeen.” Pepper smiled quietly and looked over at the man. 

     “Tony...” (Y/n) ‘s eyes widened. Tony was the name of the King. She was in the presence of the King. “I think we should go get you cleaned up.” Pepper shuffled away with (Y/n) at her side. 

***

      “Are you okay with this?” (Y/n) nodded at Pepper who looked at her with a smile. She just stepped out of the bathroom where the maids cleaned her and her wound. The bleeding had stopped not to long ago, but getting it checked was still important to make sure that it wasn’t infected. Pepper now stood in front of her with her hands ruffling over dresses for (Y/n) to wear. “How about this one?” She held out a dress that was plain, but looked nicer than anything that (Y/n) could even be in the range of touching. Pepper made it quite clear that she would not allow (Y/n) to go back home in the rags she wore before until they were cleaned, especially not if she was her step-daughter, but she didn’t mention that out loud. 

      “Whatever you have is fine.” Pepper pushed another dress into (Y/n)’s arms before stepping back and letting the maids dress her. 

      “You look beautiful! Do you like it?” (Y/n) nodded while running her hands through the tulle skirt of the dress. 

      “Thank you.”

      “Never mind that,” Pepper shook her off, “now let’s go see Tony and Rhodey downstairs, okay?” (Y/n) nodded, her nerves skyrocketing again. 

      Tony watched as (Y/n) walked down the stairs and felt his heart jump at the thought of her really being his daughter. “Banner?” He called and a man in a white coat walked into the main entrance. 

      “Is everything ready?” Banner’s voice was soft as he pulled out a cart. (Y/n) looked fearfully over to the doctor. Why was he here? What was going on? 

      “Relax,” Pepper consoled, “there is just going to be a quick paternity test.” (Y/n) jumped away.

      “For what? I know my parents and they’re waiting for me at home, so I’d really like to leave.” Rhodey grabbed (Y/n) by the waist and pulled her over to the doctor. Tony held onto her arm to keep it steady as she tried to wiggle out of his grip. “Let me go! I want to go home, please.” She begged.

       “Small pinch.” (Y/n) winced as Banner took some blood out of her arm and wrapped up the hole with a bandage. She watched as Tony’s blood was taken and put into a device with her. Her arms were let go of and she pushed as far away from the men as possible. The machine beeped and the doctor pulled out the test. “It’s positive, you’re the father.” Banner looked over to Tony then everyone turned to (Y/n). 

       (Y/n) felt as her entire world fell to the ground. She was lied to, no! There had to be something wrong, she knew her parents and they were in a little cottage with an old cow out in the back field. This was all fake. “I want my parents,” she looked over to the people with a grimace, “my real ones.” 

--

Thank you so much for reading! I’m hoping to get out a chapter every week so stay tuned if you want! Much love!

Taglist- @austynparksandpizza​ @aikeia​ @simplyfandomish @baby-noodles @lili-ann-love

[octaviareina]

I can finally breathe after this episode... It took me so long to finally be able to write something, cause I tried to analyze all the details, and absorb everything, this episode really hits hard in all types of emotions, and even now I have watched at least 4 times, I still can't deal with how amazing and unbelievable it was.

• What an incredible performance by Sebastian at the beginning of the episode, you can see the pain, the fear, the anger, the doubts, the relief and the happiness, all these feelings are visibly present, and it was a really touching scene.

• My Dora's ah, how great to bring them back to us. I love Ayo, she's so powerful and confident, I love everything about her, the way her talk, to the way her move, to her fight skills. I love how she talks to Bucky, but I felt extremely sad when she "disowned" Bucky with "bast damn you James", it really hurt, you can see the disappoint in her face and the hurt on bucky's face, like, people of Wakanda take care and technically and literally healed Bucky, he is/was their White Wolf, so seeing him in that situation of twice time defending the people they are against is frustrating. I really hope that can be fix.

• As for Bucky ... Well, he is clearly suffering from confusion, he is in this new world, without Steve, and having to be a completely different person, but this time he's much aware about his past and the thing he did. "Being good" for him it's based on what he knows are Steve's ideals, and his own as "crazy", no matter how much therapy, or how that words doesn't affect him anymore, that's the version of him self that he remembers the most. It is he is struggling and trying too hard to do the right thing, because he wants to believe what Steve saw in him. So that desperation and agony will give him some mistakes. I believe that time and in the next 2 episodes, Sam's side will make him see that he is a good person and that the bad phase can finally rest in the past.

• Speaking of Sam. KING THING, HOLLY BLESS THIS MAN, I love him so much, the conversation with Karli, that's why Steve gave HIM the shield, he's fair, he's incredible, and he's human. Sam has been winning my heart more and more, and I know that this BITCH has fought with aliens and everything, but I love how fearless and confident he is, how he ventures and fights on an equal being a civilian. He understands the struggles and fights of the people in this new world. Anthony is doing a phenomenal job at us handing over Sam's diverse faces, I love this man.

• I love to hate Zemo.

• So little of Sharon, but that Bitch it is rich and powerful, she walking full through all those people with guns, like they was holding flowers JESUS HER POWER, and like simply having access to satellites. I understand why she and Zemo cannot exchange many words, they will start competing who has more resources and class LOL.

• I mentioned it a few times on MY twitter but never here, but John Walker always had a Homelander vibe from The Boys, and I was imagining that episode would come sooner or later. That final scene literally left me breathless, I just took my breath away when the credits ended, because the whole time I was "WTF", the scene weight, especially that scene with a bloody shield, WOW just bring the awards for this Show. The symbology was brilliant.

[bluevxnus]

My thoughts on the second episode of The Falcon and the Winter Soldier

Spoilers Alert

Episode 1

I low-key hate that they are trying to make us like captain usa/john walker. Let us hate him in peace dude!!

Bucky watching the interview is a mood

The first interaction between our babies is way too accurate for them

Sam is the boss. Period.

Where the hell did Bucky got the suit from? Did he go it from the army? Did Stark did it before he unlived? I need answers!!

Bucky jumping without the parachute is a Steve thing 0 doubts

Torres looking at Bucky's arm when he took his sleeve off. Same dude, same

You probably didn't notice this but Bucky jogging after he fell make me laugh so hard he looks like a PE teacher i CaN't

Bucky makes me WAP

Bucky has anger issues too. Another one to the list

WHITE WOLF

How the hell does he run so fast?? WhY yOu GoInG sO fAsT

"They are stealing medicines, vaccines" me:CoRoNaViRuS

The "hostage" made Bucky shit lol

Rip Redwing. You'll be remembered

As soon as I saw the shield I got so mad. I hate him soooo much god and the stupid music

Bucky got his toy arm broken lol

Nevermind it's ok

The whole scene with the 4 guys just got me so frustrated. They are an avengers wannabe

Karli has a lot of potential as a character

Dark!Bucky. That's it

Isaiah is freaking cool dude. And scary.

Also, Bucky having friends knowing people his age is so cute!!

The police scene gave me axiety

I hate Walker. He's so freaking stupid.

Therapy Session. Wtf. More like marriage counseling

"Which way you wanna go?" I CAN'T

Bucky is talking like Steve's widow. Which he unofficially is

Bucky is baby

Sam is baby too

Bucky make all of our wish make true and kill Walker

ZEMO

For the episode 9.6/10 because there were no York nor Sarah. I just love them ok???

Episode 3

[themonkeycabal]

The Falcon and the Winter Soldier, ep 3

Good morning!

Spoilers! of course

Previously on:

The new Captain America is a massive tool, but his buddy, "Battlestar" (lol), is a little bit adorable. They work for something called the Global Repatriation Council, which sounds like a bureaucratic delight and joy.

Bucky got arrested for skipping his therapy appointment to go to Germany (nothing good ever happens to you in Germany, Bucky. Stop going to Germany.) on a mission with Sam (the mission went badly). And once he's sprung from the clink, he and Sam are suckered into the most awkward team therapy session in many an age. Things Are Said and everybody ends up mostly feeling pretty bad about everything.

Speaking of feeling pretty bad about everything — we discover there was a black super soldier in the US Army during the Korean war who was repaid for his service by being imprisoned and made a lab rat for thirty years. Just as awful as it sounds.  

Also our pseudo-terrorists from the first episode turn out to be a pack of idealistic kids who grew up in a blipped world and whose goals are probably as murky to them as they are to me. They, however, have pissed off somebody much bigger and badder (probably by stealing super soldier serum). 

To find just what in the sam hill was going on with the super soldier serum being out in the wild, Bucky suggested they go talk to that very stable and rational repository of Hydra knowledge, Zemo. I'm sure this will go swimmingly.

I've got my chips and guac and beer, it's 12:30 a.m., and I'm ready for some good ol' fashioned fisticuffs! Bring it, Marvel,

And we open with a sunny, smiley propaganda ad for the Global Repatriation Council. Helping you get back to the way things used to be. Reset. Restore. Rebuild. Cut to a shady black police van with the GRC logo and militarized police hop out along with Captain Massive Tool and the shield that really shouldn't be his. They seem nice.

"Don't give them a second to delete, shred, or breathe," says Captain Biggest Bestest Hero Ever as they prepare to breach a graffiti covered building. Ah, it's the hideout in Munich where Karli and the flag stompers gang were bunked last episode. The owner refuses to give up any info, calls them brutes, spits in Captain Tool's face, and Captain Biggest Bestest Hero Ever roughs him up and yells "Do you know who I am?" The owner replies for us all, "yes, I do, and I don't care."

Captain Tool leaves and grumbles about not having intel on that super dangerous criminal 12-year old, Karli. Battlestar (lol) points out she's giving shelter and meds to displaced people, and so they're loyal. And I'm just going to let that go at this point, because last ep she was on about how the GRC only cared about helping the returning people and not the people who were there all along, and the Flag Smashers wanted to return the world to how it was during the blip. But now suddenly they're all about helping the displaced, who I thought were the ones who were gone, thus, you know, being displaced when they come back to a world that's moved on without them. And I'm letting it go …. now.

Or not. I mean, I guess we could say that they're helping the displaced the GRC doesn't want to help, because they're not politically useful or the GRC is funneling its massive resources somewhere else. Or … something. Like I said, it's all very murky at the moment. I could keep watching and probably discover the answer. And I'm sure the GRC is corrupt as hell, so you go Karli! Though, she's like 16 (okay, maybe early 20s), and I'm not sure how she's managed this level of pull and resources in the few months since the great Un-Blippening and also she's got like a team of 8 (or 7, one died last ep) and she's not exactly oozing charisma. But, never mind. Moving on. For real this time.

That's all my way of saying that 3:48 into this episode and I'm already super done with Captain Massive Tool.

In Berlin, Bucky and Sam are visiting Zemo in prison. How'd they get permission? The guard seems very chill about them being there, he even leaves so Bucky and Sam can go to Zemo's cell alone. Which is so very weird. Are they hoping somebody will shank the weirdo who sits in his cell listening to opera and playing chess all day? "Oh no, he's dead, how sad. Heinrich! Get the mop!"

Anyway, Bucky says he'll go in alone, because Sam's an Avenger and Zemo doesn't really have warm fuzzy feelings for Avengers. Sam, who is currently in possession of the duo's one (1) brain cell, remembers how Zemo literally stalked Bucky and tried to frame him for a bombing and mass murder. "He was obsessed with Hydra. We have a history together," is Bucky's very questionable counter-argument. Well, I mean, technically yes, I guess.

Seriously, they just let him walk right in. Wow.

Zemo steps out of the improbably dark recesses of his cell and immediately starts reciting the Winter Soldier control words. "I just wanted to see how the new you reacts to the old words." By staring. It's his thing.

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry. It was never personal." I don't know why, but this made me laugh. His delivery is great. It's just like "hey man, good to see you again, hope you got past that whole framing you for murder and the global manhunt thing. Sorry and all. I just really hated your BFF for that time he dropped a city on my family. Bygones, amiright?"

Bucky skips the chat. "Somebody recreated the super soldier serum. I need to find out who." Ah, Zemo is super interested. But, of course. He killed all the other Soldiers, he wouldn't be keen on others around, would he?

Zemo knows where to begin looking for the answer. Cut to Sam and Bucky walking around in a dark room full of some sort of vague equipment (ah, it's a garage), Sam regretting every life decision he's ever made that led him to this point "what are you talking about you want to break Zemo out of jail? Where the hell are we? Buck, have you lost your mind?" Stupidity, who knows, and yes.

"Zemo's going to mess with our minds. Especially yours. No offense." "Offense." lol idiots.

Bucky finds the lights. They argue some more about Zemo. "Super soldiers go against everything he believes in. He is crazy, but he still has a code." Sam's like, yeah, I saw his code, it was blow shit up and kill a lot of people. Sam cannot believe he is hearing this crap right now and he's got to be like "steve rogers, if you weren't 106 I would beat your ass for leaving me with this moron".

"Let me just walk you through a hypothetical. Can I walk you through a hypothetical?" Sam, feeling those cold, tingly chills, the slowly creeping horror of realization, "What did you do?" "I didn't do anything," Bucky lies like the terrible liar he is. Wow he's a bad liar.

Cut back to Zemo's prison cell. Zemo ticks another off the "creepy euro villain" checklist, when Bucky randomly asks what he's reading and Zemo says Machiavelli. But of course. He's hiding something in his book. A key card.

Meanwhile, in the garage Bucky is explaining things to Sam. "The weakest point of any system isn't the software, or the hardware, it's the meatware." lol elegantly put, Bucky. "The human element."

Anyway, to sum up, Bucky's already broken Zemo out of prison. Poor Sam, the look on his face as Bucky hypotheticals through all the steps of the breakout, I laughed so hard.

Sam: “i hate everything, especially this asshole”

"And where are we?" Sam asks, very fed up with Things. 

The door opens and here comes Zemo in his purloined guard's uniform.

"You're going back to prison!" "We need him, Sam." Zemo, politely, "If I may—" "NO!" "NO!"

Argue argue argue. Bucky makes a weird pitch about how Steve didn't sign the Sokovia Accords and neither did Sam and, they went all illegal and on the run, they did it for him and so he's asking Sam to do that again. I mean, Sam's still slightly cheesed about that, Bucky. But, it seems to work, and Sam agrees with A Great Deal Of Reluctance.

Zemo's just standing there all quiet and well-mannered as they go through this, like he's their little pet whackjob.

The garage is full of classic cars belonging to Zemo and they're full of weapons and other goodies. He says he spent years tracking down all the Hydra people who might know how to make the serum, because if it's out there, then somebody could create an army of people like the Avengers. He's taking clothes out of one of the cars and finds a purple ski mask, which he stealthily slips into a bag. Nobody cares about your weird purple mask, Zemo, I've thought that thing was dumb for 30 years.

"To do this, we'll have to scale a ladder of low-lifes." heh

Next they go to an airfield. In Germany. You guys, come on.

Anyway, Zemo owns a plane, he's rich, his family was royalty, he's a baron. Sam's like 'wtf?' Bucky just rolls with everything. Or he does until they're on the plane later and Zemo has somehow lifted Bucky's book of amends and decides to read through it. "Who is Nakajima?" And Bucky's got him by the throat.

Sam's all hey that's Steve's book. "I told him about Trouble Man, he wrote it in that book. Did you hear it? What did you think?" "I like 40s music, so…" "You didn't like it?!?!?!?!" "I liked it." Zemo chimes in, "It is a masterpiece, James. Complete, comprehensive. It captures the African-American experience." lol wtf

"Everybody loves Marvin Gaye," Sam is so offended. "I like Marvin Gaye," Bucky says, probably trying to remember 'who is Marvin Gaye?' "Steve *adored* Marivn Gaye," Sam insists. lol. I like Marvin Gaye, Sam.

Zemo starts going off about Steve, and how the danger with those heroes and super soldiers is they're put on a pedestal and we forget about their flaws. And while he's not wrong, he also clearly wants Sam to throw him out of that airplane.

"Do we want to live in a world with people like the Red Skull? No. That is why we're going to Madripoor." Ahh Madripoor, I haven't thought about that place in a long, long time. A wretched hive of scum and villainy, iirc. Ah, yes, Zemo and Bucky confirm.

Zemo says they can't go as themselves and Bucky's going to have to "become someone you claim is gone". Bucky looks Deeply Unhappy.

On to a GRC resettlement camp in Latvia. Karli is playing soccer with some young kids. Because of the good-natured idealism. She's summoned to a hospital bed, in a ward stuffed with beds in an old, fancy building that's seen better days. Somebody is dying and she's crying at their bedside. Her mom maybe?

Back to Madripoor. It's a glittering city of colorfully-lit skyscrapers. The trio are walking across a bridge to give us a picturesque view and exposit about what they'll be doing. Sam is wearing a very questionable suit with like a black and red floral pattern and yellow-green circles. Or something. I can't tell what's going on with that thing. He says he looks like a pimp. Well no, but it is a terrible suit. Zemo calls it fashion forward, but Zemo wears a great coat with a fur collar and a purple ski mask. Don't take fashion tips from Zemo.

He says Sam will play a "sophisticated, charming, African rake, named Conrad Mack. Aka the Smiling Tiger." Sam is still not thrilled, "even has a bad nickname." Though, yes, the original dude does dress that poorly and he looks like Sam, so suck it up, Sam.

Fortunately they don't have to walk all the way across the bridge (it is a long ass bridge), they're met by a car about halfway and Zemo says they have to super duper stay in character no matter what happens.

The car is surrounded by elaborately decorated motorcycles ridden by very armed people. Hell of a welcome wagon. They're escorted to a graffitied, crumbling underpass, presumably the entrance to Low Town. It's part Macao, part Kowloon, part Jakarta, crammed full of neon and people and ramshackle buildings piled together in a maze of narrow streets, rails, and weird building-to-building bridges. Good set design.

Everybody is "fashion forward" and very heavily armed. They pass a wall with the words "Power Broker Is Watching". That's the charming fellow Karli and her do-gooders stole from.

They enter a bar decorated with golden baboon skulls and koi fish. Zemo asks "are you ready to comply, Winter Soldier?" he's attracted attention from unsavory sorts. I mean, more unsavory than the already unsavory sorts who fill the bar. The bartender is surprised to see Zemo and the Smiling Tiger. Zemo asks for Selby.

Somebody at a nearby table pulls a hood over her head, and by somebody I mean Sharon Carter. NOT SUBTLE SHARON!

Bartender asks the Smiling Tiger if he wants the usual and Sam silently nods. The bartender seems suspicious, but he takes a pickled snake out of a jar, cuts something out of it, drops it in a glass and places it in front of Sam who's like 'what in the actual I am going to puke'. lol Sam bravely tosses it back and does not puke no matter how much he really wants to and he really wants to. Bucky's being the Winter Soldier and is not at all laughing in his head about this.

A power broker minion comes over and tells Zemo he's not welcome there. Zemo says if PB wants him to leave, he can talk to him himself or bring Selby. The minion looks at Bucky and asks if he got a new haircut. Bucky gives him pure murder face. So the Power Broker and his minions know the Winter Soldier, so they were Hydra? Or, I guess, they all ran in the same shady circles.

Anyway, PUNCHING AT LAST! Power Broker minions approach to remove Zemo and Zemo tells the Winter Soldier to attack. Bucky is not pleased, but I am, because now there's punching. It's just been the sort of week that needs punching to improve it. Bar brawl! It's a lopsided fight, Bucky's wiping the floor with these dudes and the suspicious bartender is moving away to make a call.

"It didn't take much for him to fall back into form," Zemo tells Sam. Shut your pie hole, Zemo.  Aw, now the guns come out and the fight's over. Zemo calls off the Winter Soldier and the bartender tells them Selby will see them.

Selby is lounging in her backroom, listening to 50s french pop, and hanging out with lizards and piles of cash. As you do. She'd like to know why Zemo is there and by the way wasn't he in prison? She makes a weird purring sound at Sam. lol. I like her. The actress looks familiar but I can't place her. Anyway.

Zemo says if she tells them what she knows about the super soldier serum, he'll give her the Winter Soldier and his control words. Then Zemo weirdly fondles Bucky's face and like rubs at the cleft in his chin. lol. fucking weirdo.

Selby is charmed. She says she's glad she didn't kill him straight away. Weirdos of a feather, I suppose. Anyway, she says the serum is in Madripoor and developed by Dr. Wilfred Nagel. He was working for the PB. She won't give up Nagel's location for free, though. …and Sam's phone rings. Pro tip, Sam: turn off your phone when you go into meetings with deeply shady crime bosses.

Everybody stops and stares at him and he just sort of lets it ring. It's his sister. Dude, just turn it off. Too late. Selby wants him to answer it on speaker. Okay, well, she'll kill you either way, so just refuse the call and get ready for punching and running. So, he answers it.

Sarah says she needs to talk to him about the situation and he wants her to say exactly what situation. So, she says the one with the boat, dummy, and are you high? So he's going to play this off as a Doing Crime phone call. And it kind of works until Sarah calls him Sam. Selby's like wtf kill them and then she gets shot in the chest by … I don't know who? somebody from the outside. Now this trio of geniuses is going to get blamed for it. Immediately a bounty for them goes out to like everybody in Low Town. lol. That went well, guys.

And the shooting starts, they run. Except not so great for Sam who we just discovered is wearing heels. "I can't run in these heels!"

Here come the bikers. And they get picked off by somebody in a nearby warehouse. Oh, is that Sharon? Yep. And she's salty .When asked what she's doing there, "I stole Steve's shield, remember? I also took the wings for your ass so you (sam) could save his ass (bucky) from his ass (zemo)." lol. She didn't have any backup so she's off the grid in Madripoor. Did nobody think to clear her after everybody was all heroic and then pardoned after the Un-Snappening? Come on, guys.

She's better than they deserve and despite being bitter, she says she's got a place in High Town they can hide.

Sharon runs a gallery selling stolen masterpieces and other hot craft goodies. The creators of this show bless us with a long shirtless Sam scene as he changes out of this Smiling Tiger duds and apologizes to Sharon. She says she'd be arrested if she went back to the States and Madripoor doesn't allow extradition. Besides, she muses, heroing is hypocritical bullshit. Right Sam, since you gave up the shield and all. And Sam's all "bwhu?"

Then she turns her bitter on Bucky and asks how the new Cap is and Bucky's like "i hate him the most" and she's all 'come on', she knows he buys into all that heroic bullshit, "before you were his (zemo) pet psychopath you were Mr America, Cap's best friend." Well, no before that he was the Winter Soldier long before Zemo.

"Wow, she's kind of awful now," Bucky tells Sam. lol. You really get a sense of how much Bucky lucked out with his goat farm. Thanks Wakanda!

Sam gets them back to the point and wants to know where Nagel is, though Sharon says they should stay out of it to be safe. Sam presses, he says he can help clear Sharon's name and she's like 'wow, bargaining with my life?' but he gives her a Cap-worth speech about trying. "They cleared the bionic staring machine and he's killed almost everybody he's met." "I heard that," Bucky says from ten feet away. "I don't trust charity." You just tried to guilt him about bargaining with your life, Sharon!

Anyway, they strike a deal.

Zemo's being suspiciously quiet.

Then they go to a rave. Madripoor is party central. Sharon's gallery is hosting a party for clients and whatnot. She'll see what she can find. For some reason she invites the boys to join her at the party because hiding from the bounty on them and probably also from the Power Broker means walking into parties packed full of the sort of people who buy expensive stolen goods in Madripoor, like say, the Power Broker or his wealthier minions.

Zemo's just happy to be out of prison. The shot of him dancing. lol.

Sharon finds a lead on Nagel and the next day this quartet of galaxy brains heads to the docks. Nothing bad ever happens when you go look for scientists at the docks. No sir. And he is apparently hanging out in a shipping container. Sharon's like hurry up you've got a bounty on your heads and I'm sick of you three already.

The container is empty, but Sharon insists it's the right one. Zemo goes in and finds the false back which leads to a set of stairs going up. "Comin' Home Baby" is playing in the distance. I know I always listen to Mel Torme when I'm tinkering on gene-altering serums in my secret shipping container lab.

They find Dr. Nagel, who is not keen on chatting but he's willing to maybe listen to offers. He's definitely the mad scientist type.

Sharon, keeping watch outside, spots trouble. Some bad guys heading towards the container. She attacks! Moar punchies! Or beating the shit out of people with a baton. It's eleventy zillion bounty hunters. How did they find them? Did that Very Wanted Trio maybe go to a very popular party the night before, or something?

Bucky attempts to persuade Nagel with his gun. Nagel says he was brought in to Hydra to work on the Winter Soldier program. Then he was recruited by the CIA. They had blood samples of a subject (Isaiah? the black super soldier from last ep), and he was able to recreate the serum off of that. "I was a god! I did what no other scientist since Erskine was able to do."

Zemo is pacing around like a very, very angry psycho about to shoot the mad scientist. Guys, maybe it wasn't a good idea to bring Zemo to the person who could create the super soldier serum, given that is the opposite of what he wants. Kill Nagel, no more super soldiers. This is gonna end bloody. Zemo seems to have found a gun hidden in the lab. Yep.

"How have we never heard about this?" Sam asks. Well Sam, it turns out Nagel was blipped. Thanks, Thanos! Anyway, when he came back the CIA project was abandoned but the Power Broker was happy to help fund him. He made 20 vials and Karli stole those. And then Karli being a super duper genius, called him a few days earlier and asked if he could help somebody dying of tuberculosis. Karli … don't call the bad guys and ask for help after you stole from them. That's like day one stuff, kiddo.

Meanwhile, Sharon is still fighting every bounty hunter in Madripoor. She's killed like twenty guys.

Sharon runs in "guys we're seriously out of time" and Zemo takes the distraction to shoot Nagel. Who didn't see that coming? Oh yeah, Sam and Bucky and Sharon. Nobody was using the one (1) brain cell today. Or Zemo was. That's what you get for loaning it to the lunatic.

And then somebody fires a freaking rocket at the shipping container lab. Man. But, can you collect a bounty if all that's left are unidentifiable, charred corpses? Nobody in Madripoor is using the brain cell today.

Now they're trapped in a burning lab that's full of probably very bad explosive chemicals and o2 tanks. And yep, it partially blows up. Zemo gets away. Or seems to have, anyway. It's a gun battle now and also arguing. lol. Sharon's like "FOR REAL YOU IDIOTS?"

Oh, here comes Zemo, stomping along the top of a shipping container, carrying his purple ski mask. He fires at a gas line, the explosion distracting the bounty hunters and giving the trio time to run. Zemo beats up some bounty hunters and then finds a convertible muscle car in a container and swings by to pick up the others. Sam is very grumpy "you're going back to jail". lol.

Sharon's like 'okay, buh-bye!', she's had enough. Aww, is she really only in one episode? Well, Sam does promise to try and get her that pardon, so …

Anyway, Bucky calls shotgun and refuses to move the seat up for Sam. Payback is sweet. Heh.

Oh, not done with Sharon yet. She meets a minion and says they've got a couple of big problems.

Lithuania. Karli and one of her pals are stalking a GRC depot. Karli's sad. Her buddy says she should take some time to mourn. But, no, she's got do-gooding to do. They chat for a bit about what they'd be doing if they weren't do-goodering. She'd be a teacher or some such. They were all in Madripoor, washed up there during the blip, put then put out when everybody returned. Hmm. Lots of expositioning. Blah blah, scary taking the serum. "But it was worth it, because this world is ours." And they're going to give it to the kids in the displacement camps. … alrighty then.

Anyway, she's convinced that now that Nagel is dead, the Power Broker will come to her begging for the rest of the serum. No, sweety, I really don't think a person like that begs. Yikes.

"So we've got the one fight ahead of us then? I'll take those odds," says her very dim buddy.

In the prison in Berlin, Captain Massive Tool is talking to the guards about how Sam and Bucky where there when Zemo escaped and the guard's all "you … you don't think they had something to do with him getting out…." World class security. I find it really grating that Captain Tool calls Sam and Bucky by their first names. It's just so weirdly familiar that it almost crosses into dismissive. Completely unearned familiarity.

Lemar says they can't just accuse Sam and Bucky without evidence, but Captain Tool seems to think they can just, you know, make it up or some shit. "If we get the job done, do you think they're going to sweat us on the how?" Fuck you, Captain Tool.

Back in Zemo's plane, Bucky's fastidiously cleaning his metal arm, like a big grumpy cat. And Sam is trying to get a lead on the person (Madani) Nagel told him Karli wanted to help. He's got Torres on it.

They get to talking about the shield and how many people died or got messed up because of it/the serum. Sam says he made a mistake giving it up and he should have destroyed it. Bucky says, "Look that shield represents a lot of things to a lot of people, including me. The world is upside down, we need a new Cap, and it ain't gonna be Walker [preach]. So before you destroy it, I'll take it from him myself." Kick his ass, Bucky!

Torres gets back to Sam just as Zemo brings them lunch. Such a good host. "They found Madani. Dead. She died in Riga, a city near the Baltic Sea." … was that last bit really necessary? Like Riga is such a mystery? Even if you don't know where it is, like, that's so weirdly clunky. Somehow I think if you don't know Riga, you probably don't have the Baltic in the map in your head, either.  'Have you ever been to London? A city on the River Thames.' 'I've always wanted to go to Los Angeles, a city near the Pacific Ocean.'

Bucky should have said "oh yeah, i love Riga. I killed a diplomat there back in '64. Great beer."

Zemo's got a place they can go and he's looking forward "to coming face to face with Karli." Not creepy at all, Zemo. Nope.

Meanwhile, the kids are raiding the GRC depot and chatting way too much and calling each other by name. Oh dear.

"Filthy Flag Smashers" grumps a soldier tied up on the floor. I can't take them at all seriously with a name like that. Karli says they had six months of supplies just sitting there. "Don't you understand, we're fighting for our lives." Are you? Why and in what way?

Okay, so this is my continuing issue here. They're trying to build up this un-Blipped world, which is great, but they're doing it through So Much Exposition and so much of it is vague. We're supposed to think the GRC are probably shady, but are they? I don't know. Could be. They're sitting on these supplies! Evil! Maybe they are, but why? Why stockpile all that? Is it being sold on a black market? Or diverted to other people? Who knows! I don't. You don't.

We're supposed to sympathize with the Flag Munchers, but they're so vague in their goals. They want the world back how it was during the Blip. Okay. How was it? I don't know. What was so great about it? What we saw in Endgame didn't look all that great. But, we saw it from a different point of view, to be sure. So, what was it like for the average person who survived? Hell if I know. Also the Munchers want to help the people in the displacement camps. Okay. So do those two goals go together? I don't know. Are all the displacement camps bad? We're meant to think so, but I don't know. Is it just some of them? Is it regional? Who, exactly, are the displaced? It seems to be a mix of those who were blipped and those who weren't. I guess. I don't know.

It's just all taken out of the Big Book Of Cliched Assumptions for Lazy Worldbuilding. Why actually do the hard work of details, when they can just fall back on tropes, make vague pronouncements about how 'bad' things are, and let us assume the answers. This might bother me less if we didn't have to spend so much time with Captain Tool and the Flag Munchers. I cannot tell you how much I currently don't care. I find this all very frustrating. I don't mean to spoil the fun. Let me look at Sam's face again:

That was better. But, I stopped too soon. We're still with the Munchers. 

They're leaving the building they just looted, and there’s a bit of business I don’t care about, involving Karli’s car and how she’s not taking it, she’s going to just leave it parked, completely unsuspiciously in front of the building. And, she’s going to ride with her pal Mr. Dimbulb. 

She tells him to put his seatbelt on and she's very insistent. And then her car blows up and the building catches fire and it’s very dramatic. 

Her buddy's like wtf there were people in there and Karli says, "This is the only language these people understand." ARGH. Who people? Why is bombing them the only language they understand? Like, in this show, the GRC have literally DONE NOTHING. Nothing we’ve seen and nothing we’ve heard. At least have people chat about dark and dire rumors or something. Hell, they haven’t even been accused of doing anything other than ‘caring more about the people who returned than the ones who never left’ which is literally their job. sighing all night long. Maybe they’re horrible and evil and the Worst Thing Ever. But I DON’T KNOW THAT, because nothing in the show has bothered to establish that. 

ANYWAY

Riga, a city on the Baltic Sea

The trio are walking down the street, Zemo expositing for us again. Sokovia was apparently swallowed by neighboring countries, erased from the map. "I don't suppose any of you bothered visiting the memorial? Of course not. Why would you?"

Bucky's looking not happy. Probably remembering '64. They get to Zemo's place and Bucky says he's going to go on a walk. Zemo and Sam go on ahead and Bucky watches until they're out of sight and he circles back and finds a beeping thingy on the ground. He notices something across the street. Ah another round beepy thing. Now he's collecting them. He steps into an alley and says, "You dropped something". Nobody immediately appears.

"I was wondering when you were going to show up." And he turns around and it's one of the Dora Milaje. She looks unhappy and she’d like to know where Zemo is. Yeah, the Wakandans are not just gonna let Zemo wander free. That's a sticky situation you got yourself in, White Wolf.

Credits.

Well, I really enjoyed the bits that didn't contain the Flag Munchers or Captain Tool. Do better with your world-building, people.

[therenlover]

Five More Minutes (aka A Ten Minute Break with Imaginary Zemo)

(So uh, this is a weird little writing project I did. It’s kinda experimental and a deep dive into my messy little brain, so that’s that. I hope you guys like it, because it was just a warm up, but I decided to post it cause it didn’t turn out half bad. Sorry that it’s uber specific to me, lol)

Synopsis: A writer imagines her muse as she struggles through anxieties and self loathing. Sometimes it’s easier to pretend you’re being cared for than it is to care for yourself. 

Rating: T

Warnings; Swearing maybe? Vague references to depression and general trauma

Word Count: 2000~

------

Zemo walks through the door while I’m taking a break. 

He’s soft around the edges, watching me with a gaze that seems intent on telling me he doesn’t approve of whatever it is I had done this time. I simply regard him with a quiet nod and let my eyes drift closed once again. The bed is warm below me but a cool spring rain pours down heavy and hard outside the open window. I like to write with the breeze flowing. It helps me focus on more than wanting to sleep. This is a break, though; a small allowance of time where I can fold my hands behind my head and relax without worrying about my next deadline. I stretch my legs out further, recumbent, as he sits at the end of the bed. 

“Look who decided to come back home,” I taunt him, “How long has it been? A week? Two?” The bitterness is a farce, a facade I put up more for my own benefit than his. 

Helmut sighs before he replies, “I shall always return when you call me, Schatz,” 

“It doesn’t feel like you will.”

“Despite that, it is true,” Slowly, from behind the darkness of my still-closed eyes, I hear the soft clink of china. Interesting… I let one eye open just a sliver to peer down the bed. Helmut is sitting there, eyes full of that special adoration he holds just for me, and in his outstretched hand, he holds a steaming cup of tea. Hedging my bets, I begrudgingly set my laptop aside and reach down to take it from him. Something is better than nothing and I haven’t had water in hours, maybe days. He knows that all too well. Why else would he have brought tea?

The first sip is taken silently while Zemo simply gauges my reaction to his presence. He and I both know that I can be… picky when it comes to his affections. If they come at the wrong time I am almost certain to deny him. This time, though, he arrived at a just-right place between sleep and work that allows me to give in to his endless and thorough affections. The tea is warm and sweet, and I finish the cup less than a minute after he handed it to me. 

That makes him smile. It’s infectious. Less than a minute later I’m smiling with him. In a simple moment, all the ice that had built on my heart in the wake of his absence had melted. All it took was some good tea and his presence, strong and constant at my side, to ease the discomfort from weeks apart. 

Helmut is the one to break the silence. 

“Did you get my gift a few nights ago?”

I nod, sitting up a bit to scoot to the end of the bed. “You were the one who dropped off dinner?”

“Of course it was. I’m here to aid you, my love,” for an instant he pauses, something akin to jealousy flashing across his face, “I may be… absent sometimes, but no one else here can help you the way I do. I don’t really see why you keep them around, quite honestly. Most of them are selfish pri-”

“Helmut,” I warn him, and he backs off. He always does if I ask him to. His loyalties lie firmly in my comfort and my comfort alone. 

“The point is, you are mine and mine alone to care for. If not always, then when I can,” 

“Well, I appreciate it,” 

A practiced hand makes its way to my bare knee, exposed by my shorts. I don’t complain. Helmut is here to help, and if rubbing away the aches caused by the rain is what he wants to do, I have no objection. His digits massage it with care. The constant steady pressure is grounding. To ease the process I beckon Helmut further up onto the bed. In just a moment of shuffling, I find myself between his legs with my back to his chest as he restarts his gentle probing of my knee. I let my head rest against him and just breathe. There’s a peace to it. 

Neither of us feels the need to move. 

Somewhere outside the room, we can hear Andrea begin to practice his violin. The sweet sounds are more relaxing to me than they are to Helmut, who hates the reminder of his housemates, but he can’t deny that the boy plays well. He would like to think, though, that he plays better. I don’t pick favorites, but it’s one battle that I wouldn’t want to miss, should things come down to it. 

We stay like that for a while, him massaging my aching joints while I use his broad, soft chest as a pillow, but eventually, he speaks again. We both know what’s coming. I’m just not quite ready to acknowledge it yet. He always broaches the subject when it’s time. 

He knows I couldn’t do it if I tried. 

“You’re pushing me out again,” his voice is a low hum, “why must you always push me out just when I’ve gotten close to you?” He presses soft kisses to my hair as I sigh. It’s my turn for words but I know I can’t say them. Not to him and not to anyone else. Instead, I let myself turn cold again. 

“Maybe if you were more useful, I’d keep you around more often. Besides, you’re a grown man. You can come and go as you please. If you wanted to stay, you would,” 

“We both know that’s not true,” 

Helmut’s right. He always is. That doesn’t mean I ever listen to him, but when he softly coos in my ear about eating or resting he’s always right, I always need it. Sometimes I think it would be better if I gave in. I never do though, it’s not worth the fallout that would follow. 

Still, I let myself get a bit closer to giving in this time. Just close enough that I won’t feel so raw once he’s gone again. A modicum of extra comfort can be allowed from time to time if used sparingly, and I take the word sparingly very seriously.

“Five more minutes,” I whisper into his warm skin, “Please, I just want five more minutes,” It’s not a question, it’s a plea, and not to him. No, it’s a plea to the universe, to the cruel god that separates us…

To myself. 

Helmut removes his hand from its place rubbing out the aches in my wrists and lets his arms wrap around me, encasing me in his warmth and holding me tight to his body. He’s warm. So, so warm against the frosty chill of my own skin. 

“Of course, Schatz. I will always have five more minutes for you,” 

If Helmut had his way, he’d have every minute of my day. He doesn’t, though. He can’t. Five extra will just have to do until he finds a way to creep back through my door and into my good graces. Then we will have five more minutes again and again until there’s nothing left of us and no more minutes left to spend. Until then, the game goes on. 

Outside, the rain pick’s up its pitter-pattering into a full downpour. 

The water comes in through the opened window, but neither of us moves to close it. Water damage doesn’t matter where we are anyway. Especially not when the timer is ticking down. 

I cry when I croak out words again. 

“I don’t understand why I can’t let you stay,” I say, throat dry with angry tears, “I don’t understand why I do this to myself,”

It’s a lie, we both know exactly why I push him away, but Helmut bites his tongue. We don’t speak of those things, the things that creep deep in my mind and pull the strings of my marionette. That’s not his job. Part of me wishes it was. 

Instead of trying to explain away my reasons for doing what I do, though, Helmut simply holds me tighter. “Someday, you won’t have to. You will be happy, Schatz; happy and free to rest whenever you feel the need to. I may not be here to see it, but it will happen, and when it does you’ll know just how proud I am of you,” 

“You promise?” 

“I promise,” 

His heart thuds heavy under my ear, his weight a constant against my shoulders. If I close my eyes tight enough I can hear him humming a tune. The clock ticks down the seconds till his departure. I cling to him for every last second that I can. 

“Should I send someone else in when I leave?” He asks softly. 

I shake my head no. 

“Not even Laszlo?”

“Not even Laszlo,” I sigh. What I don’t say is that the pain of his absence will numb me of everything once he’s gone. What he doesn’t need to know can’t hurt him. Instead, I offer up some half-assed explanation from nowhere, just to make myself feel better about the lie. “He only helps me write the academic stuff. Fiction isn’t his wheelhouse,” 

“Ah,” Helmut whispers, and as he does I can feel him start to shift away. Five minutes always pass too fast in the arms of a lover. I wipe my tears as he collects my teacup. “When will you call me back to you,”

“Soon, I hope,” 

“But when?” 

He asks not for himself, but for me, because he knows what happens when I don’t call him back to me. He’s seen it in the circles rimming my eyes and the ribs that jut painfully from my skin and most of all in the wheezing coughs and winces that escape my lips when I breathe too deep. It’s my choice to make, though, and mine alone. 

I hate that I can’t give him a straight answer. 

“Maybe tonight, if I’m lucky, you can come in and hold me while I sleep,” It’s an empty promise, just short of a lie. It doesn’t matter though. It’s as close to the truth as I can bear to acknowledge for myself when my eyelids droop lower by the second. Unfortunately, I probably won’t sleep at all. 

“No dinner?” There’s no disappointment in Helmut’s voice, but I wish there was. Instead I’m met with acceptance. he knows me well enough that there is no fighting my self destruction, only easing it. 

“I’m too behind,” I explain, “It would take too much time. This break was already pushing it. I have three fics to finish by Friday and if I don’t…” The consequence went unsaid. 

Helmut nods, stoic. “I shall see you again when you call on me next, Schatz,” 

With that, he’s gone again and I’m alone. The chill from the rain sinks deep in my bones as I scrub the remaining tears and sleep from my eyes before grabbing my laptop again. Maybe if I worked a little harder, I could manage to sleep through the night or eat a whole meal. Helmut would be back then, as real as I could will him to be, to serve as a reminder and a companion through it all. 

The words on the screen seem like a foreign language. Sleep that has evaded me for days threatens to creep into my mind but I shove it out forcefully and turn up the brightness. Sleep won’t help me now, not with the aching in my heart that screams at the slightest bit of rest. The ache doesn’t have a name like the self care does, or the softness or the anger or the book-smarts. The ache is just me. 

The rest are too, but less so. They’re easier to accept that way. 

I push on.

Just a little more work… just a couple more tens of thousands of words…

Alone again and wetted by rain and tears, I weep and write.

------

a/n: Basically, Helmut is a personification of my ability to care for myself. I always want to, and I resent myself for not doing it more, but I just... can’t. Andrea and Laszlo are both also technically representative of feelings in my brain, but those feelings aren’t specified here. I hope you enjoyed that weird little ramble, though! It was nice to deep dive into my brain in a weird way and do some good, old fashioned therapy writing. I’m a slut for a good extended metaphor.

[ms-stony]

Episode 5

Christ, the fight Sam and Bucky had with Walker reminds me so much of the one Tony had against Steve and Bucky.

NO, SAM’S WINGS 😭😭😭

Did Walker take the serum???? How can he be so strong?!!!!

He must have taken the serum

Damn, Walker is crazy. I understand him but it was a chock y know?

Sam telling him that it’s over and that he has to give up the shield

Sam almost dying 🥺 Tony vibes. I miss my Tony. He didn’t deserve it, no one does

BUCKY NOT HELPING SAM GET UP. FUCK HIM I THOUGHT THEY WERE GETTING BETTER FRIENDS. 🥺

Sam leaving the wings behind 🥺

Lol, John getting striped of all of his honours and shut. I’m a bit surprised by this tbh. I thought that he would still be the captain even if he did something wrong. Like America telling the world some bullshit reason why he did the right decision. That sounds more like America but well done I guess

“Senator, I am Captain America” “Not anymore”

Who’s that lady talking to Walker about visiting Lemar’s parents?

Val?? Who the fuck is that lady

HE DID TAKE THE SERUM

ohhh that lady is John’s wife

Oooo the shield actually don’t belong to the state. Lol, should I be surprised?

Karli is so young, just doing what she think is right. Loosing so many people 🥺 poor her

Zemo visiting Sokovia 🥺 and Bucky only to see him :/

“Don’t worry. I’ve decided I’m not going to kill you” “imagine my relief” lol, I love them

I kind wish that Bucky killed Zemo. I donnu why

OH SHIT, THE WAKANDIAN CAME. BADASSES. MUCH BETTER THAN ZEMO BEING DEAD

Sam giving Isaha (his name is Isaha right, I have the worst memory ever) the shield 🥺

His wife dying 🥺 and he never getting even one of her letters. Hate racism, hate America, hate the blond hair, blue eyes, white skin fucking hero

That nurse made the right decision. But she shouldn’t have to

The whole town helping them with the boat 🥺 this is what a family is

“I’m right handed” 😂

BUCKY AND SARAH FLIRTING AND SAM’S LOOK I LOVE IT

John visiting Lemar’s family 🥺. John and Lemar’s were not only best friends but brothers 🥺😥 they have been through so much

Sam training with the shield 🥺

About time Bucky talked about Sam being the captain and how hard it is for a black man. Neither Steve nor Bucky can’t even imagine being a black in America

Steve is truly gone and Bucky needs to stop look to other people to tell you who you are. Is doesn’t matter what Steve thought or what everyone think or say, the only one who know who you truly are is you. I like this very much and reminds me who I am and what I am

I love how honest and just everything about Sarah and Sam. God, I love that family and his nephews

SAM WORKING TO BE CAPTAIN AMERICA. HELL YES. it doesn’t hurt that he’s fine as well. So cute one of the nephew looking up to Sam

[winterbarontrash]

1, 3, and 23? :)

Thank you 💕💕💕

Okay, settle in this is going to be a long post lol

Tell us about your current project(s)  – what’s it about, how’s progress, what do you love most about it?

I have about twenty WIPs running at any one time but I'll focus on the last two I've been working on recently :)

1. Everybody Wants You

It's a lokius fanfic with an au setting, cos I'm a sucker for these two and au's in general lol

I ranted about and posted a few scenes of the fic already. You can find my rant here and some scenes here, but basically Mobius and Loki are best friends and colleagues who think their love is unrequited (it's not, but they're idiots) and don't want to risk losing their best friend over their feelings. Mobius decides he needs some space from Loki, to hopefully get a hold on his growing jealousy, and Loki promptly becomes a mess about it.

I have almost completely finished the second half of the fic, which is from Loki's perspective, and am working on the beginning, which is from Mobius's perspective. I know it's probably weird to start in the middle of a story but I had several scenes perfectly imagined and rather than get stuck trying to write the start, I just wrote and it worked lol

My favourite thing about the fic is actually my attempt to translate the temporal prison scene from episode 4, where Sif repeatedly beats the crap out Loki, into the setting of the fic. I had so much fun writing it and I think it's hilarious (idk about anyone else lol). In my fic, rather than a temporal prison, Loki is trapped in a bathroom with Sif on the other side. I also really loved writing the sibling dynamic between Loki, Sylvie and Thor. I will die for this sibling dynamic tbh.

2. The Raft

This is a winterbaron fic and is a canon divergence AU. I have also ranted about this idea before lol You can find it here, but basically Bucky gets sent to the Raft between Endgame and tfaws, pending his pardon, and is placed in a cell opposite Zemo. They end up becoming reluctant friends, because what else there to do on the Raft. There is also a shit ton of sexual tension, but have yet to decide whether I will progress onto smut lol I am super tempted though.

I have the the first two chapters down and some random scenes. It still definately a WIP but it's coming along.

I love how it feeds the sexual tension and relationship between Bucky and Zemo in tfaws. Like Bucky chose to involve Zemo because he knows him. Bucky knew how to help him escape because he knows the security weakness from his time there. Zemo is overly touchy with Bucky and Bucky lets him because of that strange unresolved tension left over from their time on the Raft. Idk I just love it.

What is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need? (consider this permission to write it and/or share it anyway)

There are so many but this one just haunts me, and I honestly can't think of a fic to write in and that kills me. I just want sleepy Loki and morning cuddles, is that so much to ask. So here's the scene.

Loki generally hated mornings.

He wasn’t a morning person at all.

But this morning was pretty nice, he decided sleepily, pushing his face against his nice, warm pillow that smelled ridiculously good.

Someone stroked his head, fingers raking pleasantly against his scalp. “It’s almost ten already, Loki. Wake up.”

“No,” Loki mumbled.

A soft chuckle. “Then at least let me go.”

Loki frowned and opened his eyes blearily. He found himself looking at a wide, toned chest, which he’d apparently been using as a pillow.

Loki blinked, thought for a moment, and then closed his eyes again. There would be plenty of time to get worked up about it later. Now he felt too damn good and sleepy to feel much of anything else.

“Loki.”

“Go away, Mobius,” Loki muttered.

“It’s kind of hard when you’re sprawled all over me,” Mobius said, his voice extremely dry.

Loki sighed, and then lifted his head a little. He glared sleepily at Mobius, who was looking at him with faint amusement.

“I didn’t know you were a cuddler,” Mobius said with a smirk. “I couldn’t breathe when I woke up.”

Loki wanted to flip him the bird, but it would be too much of an effort—and Loki felt ridiculously distracted by all the warm, golden skin and bed-hair.

Loki groaned and dropped his head back on Mobius’s chest.

“What is it?” Mobius said, threading his fingers through Loki’s hair.

“It's really quite unbecoming that you look so good in the morning," Loki grumbled.

What’s the story idea you’ve had in your head for the longest?

The reason I created this blog is because I got this one winterbaron fic idea and then became obsessed with the ship. Yet, I still haven't written it. Idk why, I just can't.

The story is basically another au (cos I'm such a sucker for them) where Bucky decides to go to a bar and drink his sorrows away after his best friend/friends with benefits/I guess now ex-boyfriend announces he's getting married. There he meets Zemo, who of course offers to be his rebound after listening to his tale of woe. This then leads to "please be my date for the wedding events," which of course Zemo agrees to do. Who loves drama as much as Zemo, am I right? Fake dating/support for a shitty time however leads to romance and happily ever afters. Bucky deserves that.

[evanstanbot]

tbh i don't get why you stucky just started your disappointment NOW, since his character writing already deteriorate in civil war. what you said about steve, "move on, fight the good fight, never give up on anyone" is gone already - he's written as a man who indulge in his past, which is totally okay. y'll don't complain about it in civil war only because it centers your fav boy and fav ship, but when he went to another his past - Peggy y'll get FURIOUS. Isn't that double standard?

Listen anon you sent me a hate message, but I’ve got time. Now sit back while I go into details. fyi, this is gonna be LONG. Anything for my Steve. I didn’t survive and throw hands at people in 2016 too to see this bs lol. I didn’t think I’d see the CW discourse in 2019 but here we are…

First of all, I’ll need you to understand that in storytelling (or in this case a character’s narrative), the character’s personal feelings (faith, love, hate, etc.) and said character’s moral rights are NOT mutually exclusive… because even in real life, we all have to balance out our personal feelings and what’s plausible. We have to find the balance between following our heart and following our brain.


But, we’re talking about heroes here—they’re obliged to do the morally correct thing. However, good writing and a good character comes about when the character can balance out these traits (feelings and thoughts), just like we do in real life, and still end up doing the right thing. Sometimes it’s perfectly balanced: half-and-half. But, it doesn’t always have to be like that; it just has to balanced in some manner. These heroes are people we’re supposed to look up to and seeing them battle against their feelings and still choose the morally correct thing is what makes a hero a hero.


Let’s list a few examples throughout Steve’s arcs, shall we? under the cut..

CA:TFA

*

* Steve initially set out to walk to Austria in order to save Bucky, his best friend, even though he wasn’t sure if Bucky was alive or not. That’s when his feelings and morals come in play. He chose his feelings, first. But, that’s okay. He’s still developing. But then, he checked in with Pegs to see if he was right. “You told me you thought I was meant for more than this. Did you mean that?”

* When Bucky “died,” his morals were bounded by guilt. That’s when Peggy came in to warn him to be a person of reason (at that moment, especially), to tell him to move on, and that they have a war to win. And so, he did. Yet, he chose both his feelings and his morals here. “I don’t wanna kill anyone” became “I won’t stop until all of HYDRA are killed or captured.” His morals are still right, but his feelings of guilt and anger encouraged them. feelings and morals, balanced. 

CA:TWS

* He told to Pegs that half the reason why he’s working with SHIELD is because she built it. You see the “half” there? Half of the reason is because of his faith and respect for Peggy; the other half is because it’s the right thing to do; SHIELD was helping people… (or so he thought of course). perfectly balanced.

* Then, he took down shield. It broke him when he found out about Bucky being brainwashed and turning into The Winter Soldier. He probably wanted to kill all of HYDRA again for hurting his friend. But, once more, he did the right thing. Steve could’ve just found and taken down HYDRA and ignore the infestation of SHIELD. He could’ve gotten Bucky back that way and been done with it, but he knew better. “How many paid the price?… SHIELD, HYDRA, it all goes.” That’s why TWS Steve is the best Steve. It shows that he’s a tactician: he observed and observed and observed throughout the film. He saw what was happening around him and made a decision based on that (his brain, his logic). And that decision combined with his own feelings (his heart) about Bucky made for the deadly destruction of SHIELD. “The price of freedom is high. It always has been, but it’s a price I’m willing to pay. And if I’m the only one, then so be it. But I’m willing to bet I’m not.” He did what’s right, but also let his own feelings take over and have a say. (Read: He couldn’t hurt Bucky.) He stopped Bucky until he completed his mission, but after that, he dropped his shield for him; he let his heart take over once his morals were satisfied. still balanced.

CA:CW

* First, the accords. Steve, from the beginning, NEVER agreed to the accords—far before Bucky came into the picture. There. I said it. When Ross was talking about the accords, Steve knew he couldn’t trust them. He was let down by the government twice already. He set his mind on not signing it right then and there. Then, after the funeral, Nat came up to confront him about his decision and he still stuck by it. Notice that he was encouraged by Sharon’s speech (my fav Steve quote given to Pegs and then delivered by Sharon… anyway moving on). Steve made his choice based on his own morals and stuck with it. (By the way, he moved on from Pegs here.)

* Next, Bucky comes into play; and, Steve went on to protect his friend. Remember when he almost signed the accords because of Bucky? (Tony’s bargain was that he would make sure Bucky would not be turned over to the Wakandans.) Steve was tempted, yes, but when he heard about what Tony did to Wanda, he got proof that that the accords were wrong. He wanted to help Bucky badly, but in the end he kept those particular personal feelings from affecting his morals-based choice; he used his feelings of anger towards Wanda being trapped instead. “If I see a situation pointed south, I can’t ignore it. Sometimes I wish I could.” again, balanced.

* If you look at airport scene, you’d see how Steve was only talking about the other winter soldiers. Of course he’d his best friend, but he didn’t let his selfishness and feelings take over. He’s also doing this because it’s the right thing to do. To stop Zemo (the real villain here, by the way) and the other winter soldiers before they cause harm to the public. He’s fighting the good fight.

* Him not telling Tony about Bucky… This was because he knew Bucky was going to get hurt or even worse, killed, if he did. He considered the consequences and here he chose his feelings. He knew it wasn’t right, so he apologized to Tony via the letter. He paid the price for choosing his friend and following his feelings for this one; he became a fugitive. (Yet, remember that he rescued the avengers who were thrown in jail and kept on avenging secretly.) He’s still morally correct in the end.

* Remember when he whole-heartedly believed that Bucky did not bomb the UN? It’s because his faith is in people, not in systems or rules—he learned this the hard way in CATWS. He knew Bucky pulled him out of the river; and, his feelings came into play. But, he still checked out the facts with Sam and Sharon. And he was right: Bucky didn’t do it.

A:IW

* There wasn’t much Steve to begin with; however, I just want to point out that he’s still helping the avengers, protecting them despite the conflict. He went to the avengers compound (even though he wasn’t in good terms with the government) because they needed help (the earth was under attack and Tony was gone). but most importantly, because they are also his family. he has a life here.

And then, A:Endgame did that.

* I’m not saying Steve would never consider that life… I’m just saying that he would never choose to go back if he had the chance because he knows how to balance his feelings and moral compass. Our Steve would deal with his own trauma instead of running off to a better place (or so he thought it was a better place).

* Adding up the time travel logic, he can’t change the past. He’s creating another timeline—meaning… those people are not his people. Also, what would he say to them? Would he lie? Steve “I’m always honest” Rogers would never be able to live a life constructed by a web of lies. He certainly wouldn’t steal another Steve’s life. He considers the moral aspects of everything he does, not just his feelings. Creating another timeline just because he wanted to have a supposedly good life isn’t that.

* Adding another time travel theory (thanks markus), Steve staying in the shadow while hydra was infiltrating shield? While Bucky was being tortured? it’s bs okay. a joke. there’s no way Steve Rogers is gonna sit there and do nothing. If you want receipts, reread this post. Pick up any Captain America comics.

* Also, “He earned that” is such a problematic take. He didn’t do all this for a prize. He did all this because he is a hero… because he is someone who never gives up. and most importantly, because he cares.

Steve’s arc is NOT about indulging in the past. It’s about still connecting to the past, while adapting to the future. Times changed but the problems are still the same. Making a better future—that’s what he does and what he strives for.


And that’s why we’re angry. I hope it sums up. It’s long, but it’s worth it. You can call me whatever names you like; it doesn’t matter. I know my value. I was angry at first, but you made me realize why Steve is my hero and the one I’ve always believed in. In conclusion, endgame!Steve is #NotMySteve. My Steve will always come back… do the right things, as he always does and always will.

[fanfictionandmore]

OKAY SO i've got multiple questions bc why not?? 1. any new theories/expectations for tfatws? 2. thoughts on "the face of an angel"? 3. fav daniel brühl movies? 4. are there any marvel characters you like (besides zemo)?

Thanks for asking some questions!! ♥️

1.) I really don't have any new theories for Falcon and the Winter Soldier. I'm just hoping that Marvel won't make Zemo a full on bad guy. Like, I want him to express some level of antagonistic angst but he deserves a redemption arc more that anything. I just wanna see him, Bucky, and Sam team up to fight for a greater good. 

2.) Omg, okay. The Face of an Angel wasn't at all what I was expecting. I thought there was going to be a bit more of the investigative journalist aspect to the movie. In reality it was just a movie about a guy doing drugs, partying, having sex, and experiencing drug induced hallucinations. With the underlying plot of him out there collecting data on a murder case for some movie script he's supposed to write. 

In all honestly I think it was a boring movie with bad writing. There wasn't even a good plot to the film, which was disappointing in a lot of ways. If there was a deeper meaning to it then I'm probably too stupid to understand it. I watched it once and I don't think I'll end up watching it again to be honest, no matter how hot Daniel Brühl is in it. 

3.) Well, obviously I love Civil War and The Alienist even though The Alienist is a tv series and not a movie. The other movie I really like with Daniel in is Burnt. Tony is such a good character and I honestly wish we got to know more about him. I hate to admit it, but I haven't seen a lot of films with him in; mostly because they're either hard to find or I'm way too obsessed with Laszlo Kreizler. Lol. I have seen The Fifth Estate, but it's kinda boring in some aspects. But I blame the director and script writers for that. 

4.) I like a few Marvel characters actually: Dr. Strange, Vision, Captain Marvel, Black Panther, Spiderman, Hawk Eye, Black Widow, and Scarlet Witch. 

I like Nick Fury and a couple other non hero characters as well, but I can't remember thier names right now. Lol 

[wingshead]

CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT MEME.

FULL NAME:  Steven Grant Rogers GENDER & SEXUALITY: male / bisexual ETHNICITY & SPECIES: Irish-American / Human BIRTHPLACE & BIRTHDATE: Upper East Side, NY / July 4th, 1920.

GUILTY PLEASURES: sweets (cupcakes, cakes, chocolate, ice-cream … it’s steve’s secret weakness bc he tries so hard to eat healthy, sweet babe), sleeping in, show boating (he’s such a fucking show off guys, it’s not even funny), acting Innocent and Unassuming to get out of trouble and frustrate people when he acts like he doesn’t know what they’re talking about lmao.

PHOBIAS: waking up to find himself in a different time era again, losing his loved ones in battle, being unable to help someone in need, becoming what he hates / adhering to modern a/immorality, failure

WHAT THEY WOULD BE INFAMOUS FOR: his Guilt Trips, accompanied by his Disapproving Frown. that, and his sometimes infuriating stubborn nature lol

WHAT HAVE THEY/WOULD THEY HAVE GOTTEN ARRESTED FOR: breaking the law & refusing to cooperate with or work for the government, ironically enough haha

CHARACTER YOU SHIP THEM WITH: steve/sharon (the otp), tony/steve ( the other otp ♡ ), steve/wanda ( !!!!!! ), thor/steve, steve/rachel, steve/sam, steve/rebecca (it was short lived but i loved them so so much)

CHARACTER MOST LIKELY TO MURDER THEM: red skull / baron zemo / zola / the baddie of the week. that and tony for steve being so frustratingly stubborn. also sharon. because she’s gotta deal with his bs on a daily basis lmao

FAVORITE BOOK GENRE: historical / philosophical / sci - fi

LEAST FAVORITE BOOK CLICHÉ: sensationalism / shock factors

TALENTS OR POWERS: peak human strength, agility, stamina and reflexes. eidetic memory. world leading strategist. olympic level athlete. master in dozens of fight styles in martial and mixed martial arts, accelerated healing factor, indomitable will, multilingual, doesn’t age.

WHY SOMEONE MIGHT LOVE THEM: he’s considerate. he’s kind. he’s empathetic, and understanding. despite his large and intimidating stature, and his ‘take no bullshit’ attitude, steve’s just a giant teddy bear, haha. he will do his utmost to make sure people are safe and comfortable, and will help those in need - whether they’re being attacked, or they’re in emotional pain. he’s just basically The Ultimate Mom Friend

WHY SOMEONE MIGHT HATE THEM: he’s stubborn. he refuses to compromise, and therefore refuses to go along or even listen to plans that compromise. so, steve sometimes doesn’t listen to people, even when their plan is better. because of steve’s iron will and steadfast ideals and morals, people see him as holier-than-thou. also, villains hate him ‘cause he kicks their asses, lmao.

HOW THEY CHANGE: he doesn’t. steve over the past 75 years has remained largely unchanged as a whole. he still follows the same set of ideals and morals that he did in the 1940s, and is still the same person. still thinks the same. HOWEVER, this does change from time to time when he’s been betrayed, or when his loved ones are threatened. steve gets really ugly then. he does not rule out doing some bad stuff. he has threatened to kill, has aimed to kill, has let people been tortured. he hates doing it but. he does it. shit’s bad ya’ll. apart from anything to do with his loved ones though, steve changes in his response to the world. he always aims to go bigger, to tackle the next issue. he, eventually, manages to accept guilt and blame when he’s guilty and to be blamed – like how he hasn’t helped the x-men enough.

WHY YOU LOVE THEM: okay … li s t en. i’m going to try not to get too into this and write like, a whole fucking novel on him ok. lmao. but … i’ve been a fan of steve rogers since i was a kid. my father introduced me to marvel comics. i loved him. fell out of comics for a bit in like 2009, picked them back up like two years ago after ca:tws came out. fell in love with steve rogers again and to a whole new level because i could actually understand better what he stood for. fell out of love with comics in 2016 because of the bullshit nick spencer pulled with h*dra cap. got back into it now that it’s been over for a while and the first issue of the waid/samnee run pulled at my heart strings. steve rogers is … he’s an ideal. a lot of people look up to him. i look up to him. he’s a pretty popular superhero, despite many people not seeing him as a superhero since he has no superpowers. he’s not an anti-hero, or a sometimes hero, or a hero on the weekends, he’s a hero. his ideals, his morals, his belief system, they are so simple but pointed true north. protect those who cannot protect themselves, fight for what’s right even if others push you down or refuse to listen, and help one another. steve rogers doesn’t fight for the government, or for the country. he fights for the people. first and foremost. and despite all the shit that the world has thrown at him, despite all of the loss and the death and the grief and the hits he’s taken, the insults, the betrayals, the shocks, the trauma — steve rogers has remained steve rogers this entire time. the world can fuck him up, it can beat him down, it can shove him into the dirt and spit on him, and steve doesn’t let it change who he is. steve doesn’t let corruption touch him, doesn’t let his ideals waver, doesn’t let it stop him from fighting for what’s good and what’s right and fighting for the people who need it. steve could have easily, so easily, been a completely different person. near any other man would have broken and shattered under the weight of everything he’s been through and all of the responsibility that he carries on his shoulders every single day of his life. he could have been the most bitter, jaded, despicable fuck you have ever seen in your entire life.

but he isn’t. he’s kind. he’s compassionate. he sees the flaws in society and the corruption in the government and isn’t afraid to call people out on it. he isn’t afraid to disagree or go against his government if they do something that he can’t morally stand by. steve has trained every single avenger in hand-to-hand combat himself. he considers them family. he gives them the support they need - emotional, physical, mental. a lot of avengers, new and old, are/were reformed criminals, because cap gave them a second chance and vouched for them. he believes people can change. he has a huge heart. that’s been there since before the super soldier serum. steve is just such a good man, who looks for nothing else than the chance to help people, and constantly puts them before himself. he has given up and sacrificed so much of his life and of his own personal dreams in order to keep being what the public and the world needs him to be. he helps people. first and foremost.

and he doesn’t ask for anything in return other than for others to do the same.

TAGGED BY:  no one !

TAGGING: @ukubi / @roikhoi / @armorforged / @decommed / @theimperiusrex / @bestdefender / @gamenu / & anyone who wants to do this!!

[sans-mots]

captain america civil war is on netflix, my tummy hurts and it’s my day off so time to watch it for the first time since I saw it in theatres (I hated it that much tbh, still have only seen age of ultron once)

time to see it again

i like how they custom made a fancy red leather star notebook for the winter soldier’s operational codes

two white ladies wearing shades/baseball cap and drinking coffee not ten feet from each other and talking into thin air?? it would have been much more normal to have them be in a conversation, like expat friends meeting up for coffee, then they’d be noticeable but not weird. geez

steve just stole a dudes gas mask that’s hardcore as all hell. aint give a shit rogers

Nat’s stupid fckin flowy hair she would for real just have a pixie cut, or even her short bob from the first avengers if she actually fought like that all the time. wanda’s makes sense because she’s a long range combatant 

ok i get that rumlow’s mad at cap but wouldn’t his real beef be with sam because sam was the one who literally let a building drop on him

sam is literally the only normal acting person with his little drone I love him

i’m really glad that they actually showed human casualities as important and not just being like oops we blew up some random people who don’t matter like in every other action film

ah yes here’s where it turns into another avengers/iron man film and suddenly tony is the main character ( i love u but go back to your own franchise pls)

tony you do realize just because someone goes to mit that doesnt mean you should fund their project (weapons testing is a thing hmmmm)

alfre woodard being in marvel tv+movies a+++

steve looking beautiful and feeling guilty. wanda too. 

uh why is vision dressed like an accountant

rhodey! but also the close up being on him for new york is ambiguous-sad that ppl died or reminded tony almost died?

god zemo. this plot was so fckin convoluted and stupid. 

th fckin sharon carter speech that didnt make any sense to say at a funeral but only served to further plot

nat+steve hugging a+++

sharon and steve are so awkward there is zero chemistry. and what a waste in an overly packed film. like honestly if they had screentested someone who really had chemistry with him it would at least be worth it

sam and steve’s matching baseball caps and aviators. zero percent subtlety

“I don’t do that anymore.” so defeated oh godddddddddddddddd

“it always ends in a fight” fckin hell

bucky using steve’s shield when its still on his arm a++

tchalla’s claws tho. also i wonder if german special forces would be firing on him if they knew he was the king of wakanda lol

TIME FOR THE MOTORCYCLE FLIP

so turned on by the motorcycle flip. just as good as I thought it would be

rhodey “Congratulations, cap, you’re a criminal” 

“dude shows up dressed like a cat you don’t want to know more?” yess sam

IT LITERALLY MAKES NO SENSE THAT NAT IS ON THE ACCORDS SIDE AND SO SMUG ABOUT IT “technically [the shield] is the government’s property” fuck that writing

“my name is bucky” <3

zemo’s plan is still way too fckin intricate

tony you literally need a suit to fight don’t fckin try to go toe to toe with the winter soldier

the looooove helicopter (lens flare, biceps)

whats with them and falling into bodies of water.

lets use 12 mins of a captain america movie to introduce spiderman... ughhhhh 

how did tony already have a suit for peter parker without knowing the specifications of his powers?

CLIIIINNNT thank you. 

the “move or you will be moved” lady yesssss

ughhhh more sharon and the kiss. WHY YOU KISSIN PEGGY’S NIECE RIGHT AFTER SHE DIE YOU NASTY

that car is not low profile, it’s old.

ummm isn’t antman a convicted felon? isn’t he supposed to like not leave the country?

ughhh nat would so be on steve’s side i hate this arbitrary assignment of her to the accords side

“barnes is mine” tchalla that’s steve’s line

“I don’t know if you’ve been in a fight before but there’s not usually this much talking” I love you sam wilson

ew vision on his fckin high horse again.

“Arrow guy” “tic tac”

ew the fcking new york talk murder me 

YOU ARE PLAYING HOPEFUL MUSIC WHEN IRON MAN’S TEAM IS WINNING AGAINST CAP’S IN HIS OWN MOVIE AND SAD WHEN CAP WINS??? LIKE I KNOW IT’S ALL MORALLY AMBIGUOUS BUT JESUS this is supposed to be CAPTAIN AMERICA: civil war (just like, a reminder, the avengers is supposed to be about all the avengers, not jsut tony)

also t’challa’s kind of an asshole to clint like damn if you wanna be friends with nat you gotta be friends with clint 

OOOO I forgot about nat letting them get to the quinjet

also why does peter parker not know star wars??? isn’t he a loser who goes to science high school???

okay and the whole rhodey thing??? vision was literally going to drop sam out of the sky which could have also potentially killed him--rhodey just got hit instead. you can be upset about it but it’s literally not sam’s fault for NOT WANTING TO GET BLOWN OUT OF THE SKY. in fact vision should have been the one apologizing but his amygdala is synthetic so waaha wawhaa

literally the only conversation steve and bucky have is in the quinjet for five seconds and they had 12mins of spiderman backstory??? smh

honestly this movie is such a mess. zemo’s plot, the whole winter soldier(s). this should have been an avengers movie(it basically is with a cap subplot) because literally NO ONE’s motivations are clear which makes it way too hard to empathize with either side. 

i wonder if you calculated all the minutes of different people’s screentime what it would be

smh i can’t believe tony fans think it’s reasonable to get mad about steve fans acting pissy about civil war when steve was basically demoted to second lead in his own film. obvs there are some unreasonable steve/bucky peeps out there but the amount of whining tony fans do is kind of ridiculous when tony has literally such an intricately written emotional arc and steve and bucky both have diddly, as I have said before IN THEIR OWN FILM. (bucky is going to be cap one day might i remind y’all)

eww yes dolores. because all steve/bucky stories must be about bucky being a ladies man. not like he had any other defining character traits, that would be like... decent writing.

ah yes the intricate unfolding of zemo’s storyline ughh spare me. 

lol those are the best security cameras ever for roadside 1991

literally zemo just told you “empires that fall from within never rise again” and you think the best decision is to give into his eeeeeevil plan? be mad, don’t be stupid

like tonys known for being a hothead but all this manpain is so gratuitous.

“he killed my mom” tony your weapons have killed hundreds of thousands of innocents and you weren’t brainwashed when you made them. if you hadn’t had multiple chances to repent, where would you be?

“my father made that shield” yeah for steve. it wasn’t a conditional fckin offer

rhodey is literally the best person. Tony Stank

i still can’t believe the fckin straightjacketed and collared wanda it makes me so mad

good thing the end credits are of shadows and rubble cuz THAT’S WHAT THIS MOVIE IS

oh right I TOTALLY FORGOT bucky’s fate is relegated to a end credits scene ebcaues he’s not goddamn important enough it seems

the white outfit tho

“let them try” thank you tchalla for being the only person who listens to reason and actually has defined principles

i really don’t hate tony he literally dominates every film he’s in so this shoudl have been an avengers or iron man film to write such an intense storyline for him. 

they literally don’t let cap emote at all. like if you look at clips of the film its just blue steel all the way--he never gets a chance to break down and be upset. not like tony does.

tony fans need to imagine if steve came into an im4 film and just became the sole focus of the film, how they would feel that their fave character’s film was usurped. 

anyways---in conclusion i still hate this movie. unlike the first two cap movies I can’t separate my critical aspect from it enough to love or even like the film. alas.