#it just!!! suxs wanting to write and plot and shit
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awesomehoggirl · 6 months ago
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Hey another year passed. It really did pass!
Plot twist I am not allowed to swim anymore. I am making some progress with stopping compulsive walking!
I sleep so normal now especially at college I get up at 8 and go to bed at 11 like CLOCKWORK
Nothing was finished outside of school screenplays i was busy and crazy. Big big goal for the new year is to write a new short story even if it sux bc i am paralyzed by perfectionism atm
I PUBLISHED POETRY EVERYBODY CHEER!!!!!! HOLY SHIT
i WON AN AWARD for my articles and also joined the magazine at my US college and wrote a feature for them (+copyedited lawl)
I got proper therapy for the first time ever it was a complex and multifaceted experience thank you NHS. i am going to start taking my meds again i think Because you know I stopped doing that
I love to pester. furthermore I love to put my hand up and answer a question. I love to schedule a 1 on 1 when i dont understand something. i love to send emails make phone calls and advocate for myself
Have gotten so good at turning things in early and made insane unprecedented steps towards freedom from perfectionism procrastination (only with assignments tho LOL) but still as someone who has been a Last Minute Essay Writer!! all my gay life... maybe the best thing ive ever done for myself
Unemployed :( But to be fair I'm in a different country
i think i do scroll less especially during term time bc i stay BUSY! didn't read as much i'd like to read when i wake up on weekends instead of scrolling i think :) but i just knocked out a book and a half in a week so i think STEPS ARE BEING MADE. THIS IS MY READING YEAAAAAR
I will continue to work on having confidence in my choices and thoughts rather than automatically assuming i am wrong. this is one of the things holding me in creative paralysis so i know this is a priority for me
So good at this now. reframing mindset for ever and ever and ever
Um What a freaky freaky freaky freaky freaky yeaaaaar!!!!! So crazy reading how well i thought i was doing last year when a week later i would have a breakdown that would change my entire fucking life lolll also i wasnt eating balanced food and exercising i had anorexia nervosa. JUST SHOWS how a person can SEEEM! okay but really theyre freaked up Makes u think... but U know what that doesn't negate my achievements from that year which DID set up some of my awesome achievements from this year. i think i have an entirely new look on life and i am genuinely excited to continue to learn and grow and mature. in 2025 i want to continue to work on recovery and break free from the fawking compulsions by challenging myself. i know what is best for me (getting out of my comfort zone) and i know this will make me happy.
yk what. i never made smaller new years resolutions just one big one so here are my small ones for the books
- start swimming once or twice a week again
- fix my sleep schedule (urgent)
- finish the thing im writing which is sucking up a lot of time
- write a new play
- publish some poetry
- write an article for the newspaper STOP being shy
- get over the Fear and book further therapy
- stop airing peoples messages
- pester my professors more
- turn in all my assignments at least one day before the deadline
- get a job. it can be tutoring if i cant find any but preferably something that requires working with other people and going outside
- scroll less. read and write more
- stop caring about what other people are doing. stop judging my life by other peoples standards. they are not me we are different entirely there is no crime in taking a different path in life
- stop stressing so much over mistakes and make an effort to a. always learn from them b. make better art because of them
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baby-im-a-hallucinationnn · 3 years ago
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Me: "Oh, I've got all these ideas, I'll write about these."
Jojo's Bizzare Adventure addiction:
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Anywho, time to talk about JoJo OCs under the cut that'll happen eventually:
BTW starting at part 3 they all get 1 power cause Goldsboro blood or smth I just wanted to
Part 1: The Sun and the Mask (Don't know how I feel about this title)
Basic background to other parts cause I want a developed character backgrounds cause I swear I wasn't high when I wrote out these characters but it looks like I was
OC: Rebecca "Becca" Goldsboro
Lemme put it this way; if it wasn't 1890 and she knew diddly-squat about the LGBT other than "SIN!" She would be Trans-masc. Jonathan is the only one nice to her too.
Part 2: Roses and Bubbles (I'm working on the title plz leave suggestions cause it sux rn)
Cesear Zeppeli x OC
OC: Rose "Rosy" Goldsboro
Yeah, she just kinda vibin and occasionally saying sus stuff.
Part 3: Lightning (Title also sucks! I'm coming up with them as I write this :D)
Jotaro Kujo x OC
OC: Kasumi "Misty" Goldsboro
Crackhead energy. 1000% crackhead energy. And with a fast af electricity stand called Blue Lightning. Also in a band, cause... why not. Weird power is that she can like see dead ppl in her sleep but like... important to plot ppl. Like her grandfather, Cesear.
Part 4: Angel with the devil's eyes (This one kind of works ig???)
Josuke x OC
OC: Usagi Goldsboro
Crackhead energy 2: Electric Boogaloo. Also will murder anyone who talks shit about her friends on site, but you would never fuckin guess it cause she's got that petite Kawaii girl energy. Her stand is called Pink Thunder and it yells really loud. Her dad works out of country (Italy, hint hint nudge nudge). Weird power is that sometimes she'll just sit down to draw cause she's an artist and she'll draw past events (Bonus: Jotaro saw her just randomly doodling Kakyoin right after he died and that was... and experience.)
Part 5: Red-eyed hacker
Giorno x OC
OC: Georgia Silverthorne
Chaotic Gremlin + Crackhead energy 3: Syrup Village Arc. U totally thought she wasn't a Goldsboro, didn't you? Yes, but actually no. Her mom is Usagi's. She's just raised mostly by her mom who's incredibly abusive and she doesn't know who her dad is. Also it's "Red-eyed" bc everyone else so far and continuing on has bright ass Green eyes and hers are red. Normal eye color is boring. Her stand is called Techno Glitch and it's like normal stand, but it has to be programed by hand from a floating computer cause it sounded cool in my head so I said "yeah that." Weird power is that she sorta sleepwalks into the other 2 living Goldsboro's heads, like Usagi'll be dreaming and the 2 knew each other for a long time cause they have the same mom and stuff and Georgia will go "Ayo, what u dreaming about?" And Usagi will jump like 6 feet in the air.
If you can't tell by the length of that wall of text, she's my favorite
Also I'm skipping part 6 cause Jolyne is literally Kasumi's daughter, we don't need to sweet home Alabama this stuff
Part 7: Oh, to be young again
Johnny Joestar x OC
OC: Lucie "Lucky Lu" Goldsboro
Has that "popular yet still a good person" energy rarely found in my generation, or at least just in my school. Her stand is called Boomerang, and I'll let you figure out what it is. Only thing is that it's a person holding them, not an actual boomerang. Also 110% horse girl energy, but not in a cringy way Her weird power is that she has an insane amount of luck, hence her nickname.
Part 8: Rock n roll all night
Gappy x OC
OC: Rin Kaneko
Crackhead energy 4: Tsuzumi Mansion Arc, mixed with small but noticeable amounts of Undertaker from Black Butler and Hu Tao from Genshin. She just woke up next to Gappy, no memory of the last 2 months, and went "Ima just follow around this dude and help him remember his shit first." Her stand is called Ragged Glory and it's a guitar, but it doesn't just play music if you pull the strings, nonono, it also generates a random effect from a defined list because I only have so many sides on a die, and it's great. Her weird power is that she is well aware of the TimeLine reset in the end of part 6 (The one that left me crying cause all my Husbandos are gone now) and the memories and experiences of our past characters live in her and just surface at random.
I might make one for JoJo lands, depends on how I feel about it, dunno
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imnotshua · 3 years ago
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WIP list
hahahahaha kill me it’s so much worse than i thought 💀
gang - i have 25 (TWENTY FUCKIN FIVE) works in progress. i started writing for this fandom 2 years ago and i’ve only posted 6 fics in that time oh god. please can everyone kick me up the arse until i finish this shit
unstuck - doctor!yoongi x idiot!reader. based on that very real time i got superglue in my eye and the doctor who treated me at the hospital was a dude i had matched with on hinge. equal parts horrifying and hilarious. 3k written.
there’s no name you can call me - reader/jk/tae. idolverse. really bad, 15k written. needs an entire upheaval if it is ever to see the light of day. honestly will prob just take it to pieces like a written off car and use the scraps for my other WIPs 😬
unnamed tae smut - pwp, 1k written. slight dom vibes
codependent - model!jimin x fem reader. hairdresser au. >1k written. jimin wants to dye his hair soft lilac but he’s only just had it dyed green, hairdresser is perpetually annoyed w him but in a flirtatious way?!
unnamed soulmates(?)!au. fantasy?? - dream sequences where you play out a whole life w/ ur soulmate (joon) but can’t actually meet in this reality. find ways to get messages to each other within dreams? like 150 words written lmao i cannot worldbuild life sux
could you stay - yoongi x reader. f2l. 5k written. forgot i still had this for a while and jess shouted at me and went looking through google docs to check for herself lmao
unnamed hobi fuckboi fic - 54 words written lsdlfkdkgjjss honestly i got bored of it almost immediately. hobi’s character is the hardest for me to get right? idk maybe i need to find a diff trope for him, something nicer. perceived fuckboi??? like unreliable narrator maybe?
sugar fix - yoongi x reader. 90s sex line fic! 1.5k written. absolute nonsense but some of it is quite funny. meetcute at work while talking dirty to horny randos on the phone
unnamed joon sexting fic - established ldr. can’t seem to find the right time to sext bc of time differences, oh no, oh dear, they’re so horny whatever will they do? 1.5k written
carnival fic - yoongi x reader but could change to yoonmin? yoongi is mute, tae the tarot reader seems to know everything yoongi thinks but he’s just making it up and yoongi goes along with it. it’s fun, it’s silly. i’ve got 2k
crossroads - jk x reader. reader is a crossroads demon and jungkook is a total idiot! 1k written
clusters - namjoon x reader. soulmate au, set out of body. everyone in a soul cluster has their soulmate, but namjoon doesn’t, until your soul comes into existence, nearly 50 lifetimes late. 4k written
tattooist jimin x reader. got bored of this immediately and forgot the plot i came up with before i wrote it down. 800 words written that are okay but maybe it could just be a smut oneshot
airport barista hobi x frequent flyer reader. 197 words 😭 hobi why do i struggle when u r so sweet
namjoon x reader. f2l. namjoon wants to go on a road trip but he obv can’t drive, so you, an idiot. volunteer. 700ish words.
tae x reader. college au. lovers to strangers. 5.8k written
seokjin x reader. diner au. e2l (lite). 1.2k written
virtual strangers au - jimin x reader are rival tumblr people. they hate each other but don’t know each others faces. jimin has a big fat crush on this woman who works at the pet shop and he keeps buying cat litter even though he doesn’t have one a cat. anyway. his crush and his tumblr nemesis are one and the same! ha! 1k written
yoonmin fic - jimin is having therapy for anxiety & yoongi runs a cat cafe. 1k written
winterbreak - yoongi x reader. college au. established fwb with one sided feelings. yoongi leaves and spends a year abroad. v angsty. they keep falling back together & hurting each other. based on that song by muna. 5k written
1970s namgi hitman fic - can’t remember where i was going with this, need to reread my notes. was based on that shoot for joons photofolio in the motel. 1.5k written
seokjin’s yarn barn - alpaca farmer!seokjin x knitting enthusiast!yoongi. absolute crack. quite funny. 1.3k written
reader x hobi meetcute on a train. >1k written
spermageddon - namjin fic for lauren. absolute insanity. namjin work at a sperm bank and namjoon breaks things. 1k written
yoongi collab - yoongi x reader musician au. fwb & unrequited feelings. angst heavy 1.4k
➾ feel free to ask about any of these. god. how did it get so out of hand?
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tiktaalic · 4 years ago
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hi sorry i’m so confused about the different eras (bedlund, carver, etc) and i feel like im missing out on some interesting discourse, would you mind explaining the eras and their differences? i would really appreciate it!
for sure!
kripke: showrunner for seasons 1-5. supernatural definitely at its #grittiest wrt stakes, color grading, etc. still preddy silly though! yknow my man eric. starwars in truck stop america. buffy the vampire slayer without women. the x-files but Scarier.
gamble: showrunner for seasons 6-7. sera's a little infamous for what went down on the magicians, which she showran, where to my understanding there was a m/m pairing and then the deeply suicidal one permadied to save his boyfriend or sthing??? idk i didnt watch it. sera was a 27 year old woman who'd been writing on spn since s1 when she was straight out of college so she's. interesting. Sera Fact: she said her approach to showrunning is to blow shit to pieces in the season finale and figure out how to fix it if they get picked up for another season. she's definitely a fan of a) the brothers. cas i dont care about you. b) grit and tragedy. she wrote some REAL famous deanpisodes from kripke era (dead in the water) (faith) (houses of the holy) which imo is why her seasons are such a drag. like in s6 everybody's miserable. no ones having fun. cas isnt there. same w s7.
season 8 carver edlund powerhouse: i will NOT say a word against her. was she messy. was she an oopsie baby. maybe so. best time of my life though.
jeremy carver: 9-half of 11. probably my least favorite era. the whole time i was watching it i was kinda waiting for the episode to be over. yknow. this is where the swallows a fly-ism of spn starts (villains are a direct consequence of beating a previous villain). idk. its just not my fave. i hate s9 when it aired. not enough cas. this is definitely the precursor to dabbification, imo, wrt lighting, plot, and characterization. this is when sam stops getting story bc they didnt know wtf to do in s9 bc they were planning on killing him in the s8 finale and getting canceled. oh and this was the last time they let cas look good. jeremy carver known fan of ripping cas's shirt off and covering him in blood.
dabb: last half of 11 - 15. the riverdalification of supernatural! there are 4 big cornerstones to dabbnatural to me. 1) dean sux 2) seasons incoherent seasons incomprehensible bc the writers team is SUPER diverse in what they're trying to do and dabb's like whatever do what you need to do as long as we're still working towards our Overarching Plot. like the three "main" writers are dabb, bobo, and buckleming which is just. that sure is a team of people who have goals. 3) plots are more insular, more character focused, than "we gotta stop the end of the world!!!" granted they're still stopping the end of the world in most of them but in like. very quiet ways. s11, dabb written dabb finale: dean gives amara family therapy. s12, dabb written dabb finale: cas's son is being born and he's fighting with the winchesters about it and everybody's stressed because the baby tore a hole in reality. s13 finale. dabb written dabb finale. idr like the actual plot but i know the Tension Point was dean saying yes to michael to save jack and cas. s14. dabb written dabb finale. MO. RI. AH. AHHHH. 4) destiel are married at this point in time. like s5? CHARGED. s13? there's no more CHARGE moments but they're raising a kid and dean tells bad jokes and cas rolls his eyes and sighs and dean calls cas on the phone to complain about his mom. sitcom destiel.
this is obv very subjective if u want a more objective summary / more info on any of this lmk!
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sworbl · 2 years ago
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so dp brainrot decided to invade my innocent fmab hyperfixation and I wondered what an fmab au would look like. so anyone can have this if they want, might write fic for it later, might elaborate on hcs for it, idk
-Danny's parents are alchemists (duh) and they research soul alchemy (I hc they live in Dublith bc it seems most similar to Amity w/o being a rural town, & also cause of fmab plot reasons) and they're still average at best and downright negligent at worst
-they're working on an array that makes a soul. connected to an object. (Closest thing to ghosts I can think of) to make like. superpowered soldiers idk something like that
-danny shows it to his friends (still sam and tucker) and (ofc) trips and falls into it
-Since the array was set up to bind a soul to an object, Danny ends up with his soul and body all fucked up together (I would think that the array wouldnt really know what to do and just. mash the og body & soul together) so now hes got spoopy ghost powers but like is still aliveish
-Danny's parents just make a shit ton of the ghost ppls bc they think it didnt work and now they all want to Fight (Ofc it becomes Danny's problem, it always does :) )
FMAB plot stuff (Doesn't rlly do anything until the Bros get to Dublith
-I would like to think that because of his General Overprotectiveness (in fanon, but canon sux anyway) he ends up saving most of the chimera from the devils nest (greed still dies bc i love greedling, the little goblin/s), now he just has a gang of Homies with him tryna find someone who knows what they're doing (No one in this group has the braincell, it got passed off to greed but now hes ded so its gone lmao)
-Because I do not want bido to die, i have made the executive decision that greedling has been kidnapped by The Homie Gang TM and idk if they run into Team Camp in the woods or whatver, but they do engage in the Vs Pride fight
thats all i rlly have for now, may post abt this later
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surveys-at-your-service · 4 years ago
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Survey #382
“’cuz if i stand up, i’ll break my bones, and everybody loves to see a fall unfold”
Ever had a friend online for a long time without seeing a photo of them? Well yeah. Most of my friends are online, and while I've seen pictures of most at least once or twice, some I still haven't. The last time you threw up, what caused it? It was a side effect of a mood stabilizer I started. Any foods from other countries you would like to try but haven’t yet? I'm sure there's something, idk. Do you think the world would be more peaceful without any religion? Yes. Have you ever had a stalker? No. Does it hurt your feelings when people talk shit about things you love? It makes me self-conscious way more than anything. I start to obsess over whether or not the person things poorly or weirdly of me for liking what I like. I just feel judged for liking it, but that's my problem. Do you like it when people give you nicknames? I do, actually. It feels kinda affectionate to me. Do you often find yourself checking out people’s butts? Haha I'm not gonna say it's never happened, but it's not something I make a habit out of for sure. What fandoms are you in? MEERKAT MANOR IS BACK BAYBEEEE, Markiplier, Silent Hill, Shadow of the Colossus, World of Warcraft, Spyro, Wings of Fire, and lots more, honestly. I'm into a lot of stuff, and I don't love in moderation, haha. Are there any fandoms you used to be in, but left? Yeah, like Supernatural, Good Mythical Morning, or Warriors, but it wasn't out of "I don't like it anymore" or anything, I just drifted away. Anything the fans in your fandoms do that pisses you off? World of Warcraft if particular has one of the most toxic fucking fanbases. There are so many goddamn elitists and people who whine about "boohoo WoW is dying" and "omg this game has been trash since Wrath" and yada yada yada and it's annoying as hell. They always find some shit to complain about. Then Silent Hill... ugh. I think people just hop onto the "the series sux after 1-4" bandwagon to fit in with a certain crowd, but that's not the main thing that annoys me; rather, it's the fact the former main admin of the SH wiki made a fucking joke out of us there. He was clearly having personal issues and made a HUGE and utterly ridiculous deal of Silent Hill 4 having heavy symbolism to the main character being obsessed with the bullshit idea of him being circumcised, and it led to a maaaassive thread of us members trying to talk some damn sense into him as he abused his power. He was finally banned by the Wikia staff, but not in time for some gaming websites to publish "news" stories about it because it was just that ludicrous. Now, YEARS later, we still get trolls coming onto the site to try and revive the drama by inserting absolute rubbish into pages or making new ones. Nowadays I'm the main administrator there, and it's fucking embarrassing sometimes. I'm supposed to keep the wiki under control and respected, you know? Ugh, I'll stop. I could rant for a very long time about this. Do you prefer ruffly or regular potato chips? Ruffly. Do you write down your own recipes, or just commit them to memory? I don’t cook. What color do you want to dye your hair? My top three are pastel pink, lilac, and a light creamsicle orange. I REALLY want to dye it SOMETHING. :( How do you like your chicken? Of course breaded (like nuggets, tenders) is my favorite, but I also enjoy is broiled and seasoned well. There's other ways, but because I don't cook, I, uh... don't know how a lot are made lmao. Do you enjoy cheese fries? UUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHH YES. Do you eat refried beans? I absolutely hate beans, so no. What is a food you enjoy, but don’t have very often? A whole lot because a lot of it is from restaurants and we don't eat out all that much. As well, my diet is very narrow just because of how picky I am. Marilyn Monroe or Audrey Hepburn? Why? I mean, what are we comparing them for? I think Audrey is fucking gorgeous, though. Marilyn is also beautiful. Favorite fictional world? Uh, I dunno. Do you use lint rollers often? No. Do you carry pepper spray? No, but I want to. Has your power ever gone out for more than a day? I think so. Other than a dislike button, what’s something you wish Facebook had? Hm, I dunno. What time do your parents normally get home from work? Mom can't work right now, but I think Dad gets off around 5PM. Are you afraid to ask people out on dates? Yep. Do you think it’s better to look for love or let it find you? Both can work, but I definitely prefer to let it find me. I feel that *in general* that usually has better results. Have you ever found yourself worrying about commitment? No. I'm a very committed person romantically. Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already? No. Have you ever had a rash from poison ivy? I don't believe so, no. Do you have any chairs in your bedroom? No. Did you watch Elmo as a child? Some, yeah. Do you know anyone who doesn’t eat meat? I don't think so, off the top of my head. When you throw up, do you cry? No, but I'm a whiner and will also shake from fear because I have such a phobia of vomiting. Doing it totally turns me into a baby. Who was the last person to carry you? I couldn't tell you the last person to full-on carry me, but back when I tore a ligament in my foot, my mom kinda had me lifted when she would help me walk. Is it easy for you to accept loss? Absolutely not. I handle it very, very poorly. Have you done anything sneaky lately? No. Have you ever had a rolling back pack? Yes. Who knows you better than anyone else? My mom, probably. Would you ever want to go to Brazil? Sure, if the opportunity came up. Are there any medical conditions that run in your family? A lot, mostly heart problems. What band has the best guitar solos? Metallica imo. Who is the biggest jerk you've ever met? She was somehow my former best friend. Have you ever swerved off the road to avoid hitting an animal? I've never been in that situation, thankfully. What's a charity you would never donate to? I'm really not familiar enough with charities and their practices to know which ones are sketch or not. Have you ever grown your own herbs? No. Do you have any exes you'd consider dating again? Yes. What were some of your favorite classes you took in high school? Art and German. Mythology was fun, too. Do you know anyone with a profession in law? Yeah, I have a cousin that's a lawyer. Have you ever Googled yourself? Yeah, outta curiosity. What's the shortest amount of time you've had between relationships? Like, two days. Part of the reason I left Girt was because I liked Sara. As a child, what comfort foods did your parents make for you when you were sick with a cold or flu? Chicken noodle soup. What's a movie series where the sequel was better than the original? Ha, for some reason Inspector Gadget came to mind. I guess from mentioning my childhood. I was FUCKING OBSESSED with that movie as a kid. The first one's fine, but I love the second one. Does your car have heated seats? Mom's doesn't. What is the strangest pizza topping you've ever eaten? Nothing strange, really. Describe your hometown. What’s it like there? Small and dangerous. Lots of run-down areas. A gang nearly broke into our house once, if that helps you get the picture. What was the last video game you beat? I replayed Silent Hill 2 forever ago. What did you learn from your last failed relationship? It really just taught me that you need to take care of your own mental health before you can effectively handle another's properly and strike a healthy balance. What country does your favorite band hail from? Britain. What’s something on your to-do list that never actually gets done? Finish decorating my room. -_- Have you ever been really passionate about something but then lost interest? If so, what was it? Good Mythical Morning, I suppose. I used to be OB-SESSED. I still adore Rhett and Link as people, they are fucking wonderful human beings and excellent entertainers, I just drifted away from their content. I don't really know why. Do you sleep with the TV or the radio on? No. What’s the worst thing about being male/female (whichever you are)? Menstrual cycles, I'd say. It affects your mood so much, and as someone who's bipolar, it can be very confusing. I like to know why I'm feeling a certain way. What movie has the best special effects? /shrug How many work hours per week is too much for you? I wouldn't know, I've never really worked long enough to figure this out. Can you remember your first day of school? I think I have the faintest memory of it. I know I was very scared to leave my mom (I had absolutely awful separation anxiety from her) and I MIGHT have cried, but I don't really recall with certainty. Have you ever entered a modelling competition? Would you? No thanks. Did you keep any drawings/stories from when you were younger? Most, no, because the level of cringe is LITERALLY unbearable for me. Do you have a safe? Mom does somewhere. What’s the scariest thing to happen to you so far? The breakup. That night was just fucking terrifying. I was so certain my life was over, like the situation was so, so impossible in my head. What was your last dream about? (or your daydream if you don’t remember) My memory's faint, but I just remember I had a nightmare where a LOT of my bones were totally snapped in half. When was the last time you saw a relative? Excluding my immediate family, I last saw my now-departed grandmother and my uncle a while back at a hotel as they were passing through. Have you ever been in a TV audience? No. Are you in any way close to reaching a personal goal? Not really... Do you prefer crosswords or word searches? Word searches. Do you like making collages? Not really. Do you remember any inside jokes from childhood? No. What would you love to learn to do? Digital art, like drawing on a tablet. Do you prefer monkeys or lemurs? Lemurs. Do you watch movies based on the actors or the movie plot? The plot, 100%. Are you more shy in real life or on the internet? I am WAY more shy irl.
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wandering-bitch · 5 years ago
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Notes for I Have Always Loved The Door (pt 1)
I Have Always Loved The Door is the Wen Qing/Mianmian fic that all the wlw wanted but canon could not in any way make happen 
This is part one of three, i’m sorry, but it is a 30k fic and i’ve never written anything this long. it’s like. six months of my life. annotations are gonna be longer, too.
What is this fic About? Uh. Lots. Mostly your relationship with your past and your future. making choices about what you carry with you into your life.
title is from Charly Bliss’ “Percolator” but like. the rest of the fic is in no way related to the song. Just the lyrics “I have always loved the door/but I will always love you more/I love metaphors” fit well for the wen qing mood
it is a fucking CRIME that wen qing died, and while i’m happy that luo qingyang got a happy ending with a soft man who just wants to make her happy, i think she deserves more. so i gave her a fancy job
i struggled with the outline for this so much until i realized that mianmian’s canon arc is partially about saying goodbye to your home/family because you no longer fit there + it’s not a great place anymore. and that’s so close 2 wen qing’s
so that drove a great part of the plot, and helped shape the youya/tuzai bit
ch 1
the first chapter is so funny and then nothing ever approaches it, i’m so sorry i got ur hopes up with the shennans TTnTT
i hate most of my writing after it’s up but i still like this chapter. wen qing being a doctor, nmj knowing his place, mianmian cursing loudly
“If you’ve been knuckles-deep in me, you can consider yourself a friend” i spend a lot of time in this fic trying to kill wen qing with Lesbianism, but honestly that’s just to make up for mianmian killing herself with lesbianism.
this was b4 i decided to care how i ended chapters haha
ch 2
i’m proud honestly of this fic alternating perspective, bc it forced me to learn to write more distinct voices. 
“are you eating enough red meat?” “in the unclean realm?” 
if i had 2 be in a Great Sect i would 100% want to be in the big sexy sword jock sect but unfortunately i’m a vegetarian
please think of me, an average-sized gay, with noodle arms, pushing away all the giant cooks and self-appointed nie aunties, who are trying to shove meat into my mouth
like you know how cats avoid the bath??? and their people are like “jesus fuck how is this 10 lb animal defeating me, i’m huge and strong and also have thumbs”??? that, except it’s an average sized sword gay fighting ten RIPPED aunties holding out beef
i do love the mianqing dynamic i created here and i’m not sure i kept it up but WHATEVER this is about annotations not about editing
mianmian: god FUCK the jin clan, the jin clan sux. wen qing: hmmmmmmmmmm
i think mianmian’s three older sisters might show up in a future work in the series
yeah, i fell in love with this au, there will be at least one epilogue.
ch 3
oh ho ho!!! it’s the beginning of Sword Content!!!
i watched so many videos of dao work vs jian work and then i ignored all of it!!!
by that i mean “there were only like two decent-quality videos on dao work that i found on youtube and i couldn’t study them hard enough to get what i wanted”
someone trying to correct your practice with boring, irrelevant suggestions??? it’s extremely likely, it’s happened to me multiple times, i straight up stopped practicing outside bc of it
please, men, i’m begging you. if you see me doing martial arts, rather than correcting me, ask “oh cool, what are you doing? ah, i do [this art]” and like. talk with me like i’m a human
not to be A Bitch but there is a 70% chance that i’ve actually studied more marital arts than you, on account of most ppl abandoning within a few years, and me practicing aikido for more than a fucking decade
god swinging a weapon full-speed at someone and stopping inches from their head??? a Fun Time
mianmian’s doing it as a big dick energy move
but in my school we just trusted each other to not fuck up.
im too gay to want any “”””homophobia””” or “””discovering you’re gay”””” or “””coming out”””” plots, i just wanna fast forward to the “”””i wanna kiss a girl””” bit
OH MAN i forgot wwx’s voice in wen qing’s head. 
“even after his death the yiling patriarch managed to annoy her” i love wen qing
ch 4
IT’S THE MEMORIAL DINNER CHAPTER
memorial dinners are an important part of my household’s mourning process sorry
“she waved her hand to indicate the entirety of his use of demonic cultivation, fall from grace, and mass murder” mood wen qing. fucking mood.
oh my god im rereading this and seeing where i misspelled shit ugh. sorry lwj
so sometimes i’m vague about food and that’s because the only food i can think of when i’m writing is pork. i just. can’t remember what other foods u can eat. pork and also buns (but meat buns) soup? never heard of her. chicken? what is that??? piles of vegetables??? no one eats that obviously
please remember that im vegetarian and not only do i not eat pork, what i do eat is piles of vegetables
ah yes!!! time for mianmian to say prisons are for burning!!!!
our girls are both radical leftists sorry not sorry
acab, reproductive rights, prisons are for burning, capitalism is an inherently exploitative system, unionize your workplace
“tip your servers well” -- wen qing
wwx, shouting from beyond the grave: GET SOME, GIRLS!!!
wwx’s ghost: do y’all need anything? snacks? water? a condom? ah, love you kids, you keep me young
oh i forgot “for my local radical,” i should make sure to keep using ‘my radical’ as a cute endearment for the wives
ch 5
awwwww yeahhhhhhh trauma dreamsssss
writing jin guangyao is so fun!! and stressful!!!
fun because he never says anything straight, only through six layers of plausible deniability, and that’s just a fun exercise
fun also because i Love a Bitch. 
stressful because he never says anything straight, only through six layers of plausible deniability. 
the bit where he threatens to expose wen qing and mentions specifically that nmj does not like being lied to??? took me several times to perfect and im still not happy!!! 
but i’m deeply proud of him sending the flame hairpiece, that’s some a+ innocent-looking menace right there, that’s the only thing on this planet i believe in anymore
i loved making up sect politics that weren’t specifically “let’s put up watchtowers” because i don’t think that happened while jgs was still alive
uh @ self why did i capitalize da-ge that’s so uncomfortable.
oh my god i just realized that jin guangyao has to watch his ex boyfriend/nie mingjue treat mianmian the way he used to be treated oh fuck
sorry i was not at all writing 3zun cinderella when i wrote this so i wasn’t in the habit of thinking about jgy being in pain and now???
get fukt jin guangyao
he 100% cries to lxc about this later
what’s that??? you say i keep writing overthinkers who are anxious and terrified of everything??? huh i’m not sure i agree and if even if you were right i’m not sure it means anything
“grumpy frog” mianmian mvp
god the flame hairpiece is one of like two whole good endings i did for this fic haha
next time: ch 6-10!!
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satankissed-a-blog · 8 years ago
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it feels really lonely on this blog :/ I think I might revamp Vanessa and have it so I write w/ people who actually WANT to write and plot w/ me
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brittbax · 7 years ago
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For the numbers thing: 1, 36, and 52! <3
Holy shit I never get asks for these things thank you 💜
1) Selfie:
Firstly it’s 2:30am and I’m in bed but a photo I did take. However, I’m on mobile and mobile sux so it won’t let me add the photo (and I’m not good with the HTML to figure it out without fucking it up lol) Will reblog my own post to add
36) 3 dreams I want to fulfill:
(wow getting deep in the wee hours of the morning) uh let’s see…
1) Finish school and get my degree(s), holla
2) Write the novel I’ve been wanting to since middle school (that’s drastically changed plot, settings, and characteristics so many times lol) (secret: my OC roleplay blog character is the main character for said book but with a different name and her backstory is true to the shit I’ve been trying to write)
3) Learn sign language! It fascinates me and I’d love to be able to communicate and learn with people of the deaf community 🤗
52) Something I’m talented at:
*comedically flips hair back and forth like I’m The Shit between each word* How do I pick just one???
Nah, but I’m good at the music thing? I’ve played piano since I was 5, I’m in three different music groups currently(the local community concert band, a brass band based out of Lansing, and my college’s new drumline), and I’ve been a part of pit orchestras for musicals for a local theater group and my old high school. I play percussion btw, so I can do everything but play the drum set lol. How about that for a dream, learn how to play a fucking kit
THANK YOU ANON!! You really made my night!! Love you ❤️
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pliskin · 7 years ago
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kitaryu fic thoughts
just wanted to write this thing as an excuse to write yusuke pounding the life essence out of ryuji but now i have all this emo shit going on, obviously its too rushed if they get right to the fucking but it’s full of a lot of emotion rn that would make for good porn.  sux when you feel the need to write all this “plot” when you don’t want to but literally no other fic has the kind of characterization you want, but still wanna shove in shameless porn bc nothing is to your taste as well, but the two of them mix like water and oil.  piss on me
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starfraps · 8 years ago
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Mode of Transport: An explanation of the songs of Have Some Fun!
 Ah yes, the first of a handful of collaborative tracks with one of my favorite human beings on the planet, the one, the only: Mattari 2600. It’s funny that this album ended up having only three collab tracks, and all of them were with Mattari, but it’s also fitting. The title is Have Some Fun! and it’s aptly titled, because the most fun I’ve ever had doing music - hands down - has been anything I’ve done with Mattari. Sorry, everybody else, but that’s just how it is.
Out of the three StarF & Mattari tracks on HSF!, however, Mode of Transport is the only song that was actually intended to be on this album. What about the other two? Well, we’ll get to their explanations eventually, but for now all you need to know is that I originally wanted to do a song in a similar vein to the last track - except all I would do is rattle off excessive amounts of nerdy vehicles from various games and movies. Not even vehicles necessarily, just ways to get around. Motion is a very important part of geek culture, it turns out, and some of the coolest properties have been based solely on the idea of fictional transportation (*ahem*...portal).
When I wrote this song I kept going back and forth on whether or not I liked it. Honestly I still sorta do. There are things about it that bug the shit out of me, mostly just things like “oh my god this beat is so excessive sometimes” or “this hook lasts just way too long,” or even just not liking the hook in general. I kind of wish I would have wrote a different hook, but for the purpose of this song it does do its job, and suffices in being catchy enough - or so I’ve been told. What I will defend to the death on this song, however, is the verses. I think all three verses are extremely solid.
Beyond the concept of simply rapping about nerdy vehicles, I sort of framed both my verses around a theme. The first verse being about flight or space travel and the second being about ground transportation. This actually happened on accident, as I was almost done wrapping up the first verse and realized I had inadvertently only mentioned stuff that keeps you, for the most part, off the ground. The outlier here is the mention of a Mario Kart go-kart, but I feel that I made up for it by specifically pointing out that it’s on everybody’s favorite level: Rainbow Road (which actually is my favorite Mario Kart level, okay? so stop judging me).
When it came time for Mattari to do his verse he actually came over to my house to write and record it, which was incredibly fun and felt like old times. The official lyrics that went out with the download still contain the fact that when we wrote his verse it was headed with “MATTARI SUX:” as a joke. The truth is that Mattari does not suck, and is in fact a much more entertaining and competent rapper than I could ever hope to be. His verse on this song is goddamn hilarious and way more clever than anything I came up with. I specifically remember us both working on some of the lines, and losing our minds laughing when we came up with the couplet “Or glide upon a dragon, high above the land // FUS ROH DUH, BITCH, I'M NEVER GONNA LAND.” Like first of all “fus roh duh, bitch” is incredibly funny, but the idea of rhyming “land” with itself, just in different contexts amused us both for some reason. Ending the final verse with the mention of fast travel was a stroke of genius. I love this man.
Similar to what I did with the previous track, I am now going to add a “read more” break and paste the full lyrics with links to each specific reference! Enjoy!
This is the way I get around, from here to there This is the way I get down, don't leer, just stare This is the way I get around, don't need no passport This is the way I get down, it's my mode of transport
It's a hop skip and a jump from my destination But I gotta rip it up in a stylish demonstration The way I travel leaves 'em stunned, I'm going the hardest Arriving fashionably late just for fun, showing in my TARDIS That's right I travel trough time and space, you know my identity I commandeered a ship and thereby gained me some Serenity Board derelict vessels to settle long dead scores Now I'm launched out in Starbug from the Red Dwarf And I'm plotting a course, of course I've got the style Launching out on rainbow road; go-kart for miles Single file ain't no thang when you play in four dimensions I built this Enterprise and I've figured your intensions At mention of my craft realize your talks all prattle, loser Jim Raynor's by my side, Hyperion, can't board my battlecruiser! Warning written in the clouds, just check the sky banner Single-handedly take you all out; Einhander
[HOOK]
But it can't all be up in the air, stop looking to the sky, huh? I rip up the terra, sporting fastest speeds on the gaia Every vehicle souped up; number one mod chaser Neon lighting, so exciting, all up in my pod racer Squad eraser; battle mechs, goliaths and seige tanks Observe noise laws? Nothing can quiet me, thanks! But it's not all destruction, I've got me a bitchin' light-cycle And a portal gun too! Interspatial holes, Right, I go Anywhere, anytime, I can't make my mind up, shoot That's alright I think I'll bounce around in a wind-up boot It's kinda moot to think you could beat me in the REDLINE. I'll leave you in the dust, ha-ha-ha, MACH FIVE! Talk derives from the cockiness gained from foes battle fear Even without mechanics I take em down with Shadowmere Do you catch my drift? I'll burn rubber in Paradise City Compared to my repertoire your silly ride is lookin' shitty
[HOOK]
MATTARI SUX: My taxi's pretty crazy, I'm beating time limits Destination's up ahead, dropping people off in it Any contest, I'll win it, man, I gotta go fast I'm a unicycle racer and you're 'bout to get trashed Better step upon the gas, now you're under attack boy Swingin' from a grappling hook, I'll kick you in the Sackboy Cruisin' round Pandora yellin' "CATCH A RIIIDE!" Cannon travel's pretty cheap, so go on and slip inside Or glide upon a dragon, high above the land FUS ROH DUH, BITCH, I'M NEVER GONNA LAND I don't think you understand, I'm too lazy to walk So beam me up, mother fucker, you can call me Spock Or I'll go down, down, down in a bathysphere My Atari tank makes sure my path is clear Take a good look around as the story unravels Or fuck it...I'll just use fast travel
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