#it would probably get better with practice

[vampmira]

open up what you got in your mind to me. [pt.2 – saja boys.]

they've never met someone like you — a mortal who almost knew them .. better than they knew themselves. for the boys, it's annoyingly intriguing. for the girls, it's comforting.

paring(s): huntrix & saja boys x demon expert!gn!reader

warning(s:) EVERYTHING IN HERE IS A PART TWO TO THIS !! some movie changes, probably effected lore that makes no sense for the sake of the narrative, a little angst at the beginning

request | tags: @blueberrysquire @akariis4snowball @j0ykill

a/n: this is part 2 !! i had sooo many ideas for huntrix that i had to make another part for the saja boys so that it wasn't so long . this part isn't as good but i liked it so ☆☆☆

that night huntrix defeated gwima was a blur. all you remember was the zombie mob of fans, half of the fight, and the use of your aura vision to raise the saja boys above the honmoon before it glimmered in gold. jinu, who gave his newly found soul for rumi, was practically reincarnated through her sword – standing in front of her post-concert, arms open for her to fall into with tears from the both of them. everyone else? well, they felt lost.

the saja boys weren't sure what to do anymore. jinu was overjoyed, of course, but the boys knew nothing more beyond gwima and their mission. they didn't care much about music, nor their fans – which huntrix still couldn't wrap their minds around – and it's not like they had secret human hobbies. they never had time for that. until now.

post-gwima, they stayed in an apartment near the huntrix penthouse, trying to figure out their new lives. for the most part, they spent most of their time under your watch – to make sure they didn't go cause chaos – but also .. under your study.

you were weird to them

they weren't used to someone other than them.. knowing them

their capabilities, their knowledge, their origins.

actually jinu found your extensive understanding of what he is to be kind of comforting

he noticed how you never really drooled over them

you'd stare, sure, but in the same way an art critic would stare at a painted blue canvas with a smeared red dot in the middle

he felt like that red dot – unexplained but you somehow understood

when he told you about his past, it was a lot for him – talking about his cruel choice

but you.. didn't judge him.

in fact, you wrote it down in your notebook immediately, the one you never let the boys get too close to

he accepted you into his life when he entertained your interest in his history

unlike him, however, the other boys were uninterested

at first anyway

thank jinu for getting them to talk to you btw

it took a little bit of convincing – telling them that you wanted to give them something more than just gwima

even though they didn't want it ...

REGARDLESS they hang out around the penthouse

because they're no longer saja boys (uninterested and unsupported by any demon staff anymore)

they really had nothing to do but mildly annoy your personal space

including being the center of your attention when the girls are out

mira gave you one rule, "living room and bathroom. only." and you've succeeded so far. abby and romance were talking by the large scale windows, mystery was playing some game with baby (and obviously winning), and jinu sat in the middle of the couch, watching whatever movie rumi put on for him. you sat beside him, sketching in your one and only personal researcher book. your pencil drew out what you felt like was the final line in mystery's hair ... before you huffed, erasing it, and trying again.

that was... until the littlest demon startled you.

"mystery, they're drawing you." bored of his game, baby peered over your shoulder, only passively curious and really wanting to mess with you. heads turned at your exposure to the room, especially jinu, who looked over your other shoulder at the sketch you did of him earlier.

"you're.. sketching us?" the direct ask made you a bit nervous, especially being under so many eyes. (kind of. mystery was more just.. generally facing your direction.) "'weakness.. chest?' are you taking notes on us?" you stood up, nearly defensive, turning around to face the couch trio.

"if it weren't for your old friends, i wouldn't have to write it all down again." the boys went quiet, remembering the origin of your knowledge and powers. "i'm just.. tired of keeping it all inside. i need to get it out somewhere."

romance, true to his name, leaned over your shoulder, putting you both in a proximity much closer than you've ever had to experience before.

"then why don't we do something.. a little more fun .. to help you get it all out?"

normally sentences like that from him sound way more suggestive than he means them to be

but this time he came up with an actual solution to release your closed up, ready-to-pop-out-of-your-skin knowledge

they gave you a one way trip to infodump station ! an interview !

they wanted to learn more about you anyways

their fellow demons down below were the ones to wipe out your ancestors

not them

and they make sure you know it too

but they can't help but feel .. a little, tiny bit bad that you're now just a living library

a time capsule, holding onto so much information that you're about to burst 24/7

they had never met a researcher honestly

you intrigued them as much as they did for you

how much did you really know ?? did you know anything or is all this antsy behavior a ploy to make it look like you knew everything when you really knew nothing ??

their disguises were perfectly created to make every little fan fall for their attractiveness the second they looked at the boys

but you never drooled at them or had your eyes pop out of your head

you just always... stared. processing. tracing mindfully.

they didn't know what you were really abut. but they were about to find out. and really test your persona.

romance sat relaced in a chair as you circled him, pencil taking note of everything you noticed. how his markings were sharp, not rounded like rivers, how his skin was cooled, not burning hot. all things you already knew, but you found small comfort in knowing not much changed. you took a deep breath around his hair, nose scrunching up. he smiled, taking your cheek in his hand.

"new cologne." his voice was smooth, gentle. traditionally alluring. "just for you. do you like it?" he turned up his flirtatiousness, pulling you in closely, testing the waters of your focus.. before you turned away to start writing, completely uneffected.

"so many generations and you guys still smell like flames.." you mumbled to yourself.

"would you rather we smell like bubblegum?" baby tried to sass you, but you were too focused on the sharpness of his teeth to care. you stepped towards him, eyes widened.

"can demons still tear apart brick with the force of their canines?" you asked, rather close to his face. for a moment, he almost felt like the flustered one.

"yes..? no? i-i don't know." he crossed his arms, childishly. "i don't go around biting bricks." you jot it down still as you move towards abby. he's deeply relaxed, leaning back on the couch, comfortable shirt riding up to expose his famously toned abs. your eyes trail off of your notebook and they think.. they've got you.

"like what you see?" he teases. "you can touch them, you know." a bold move that brings you closer, nails tracing his skin. they're almost disappointed that abby is the one who stole your attention.. before they realize you're attention isn't stolen at all. you're drawing his markings with careful detail.

"where did yours come from? rumi's started forming on her arm when she was a kid, but they haven't reached her stomach yet. they grow with time, right? how old would that make you then..?" you dissolve into mutters they can barely decipher. "oh!! mystery!" he almost jumps behind the couch when you race over to him, making jinu laugh from the sidelines of their attempts to flirt with you. "i've never seen a demon sparkle! that's new.. is that just you? or is there a whole subspecies of sparkling demons? or is it your human disguise..?" your questions nearly overwhelm him, enough to make him forget how he's supposed to flirt with you, but romance pulls you away, whispering in your ear.

"it's not just him." he smiles, hand on your shoulder. "you're sparkling, too, sweetheart." if anyone could fluster anyone, it'd be him, even if it takes two rounds. his thumb runs against your chin. "you look so cute in this lighting, like a rose."

"speaking of which, what's the flora like down there? are there any? do they eat demons or are they like.. regular flowers? we knew more of demons than of gwima's realm. did they smell? i bet they might have.. would it be nostalgic or torturing?"

the boys share a look, and sigh. you went off into high speed muttering again.

you really were everything you said

uninterested in their flirts and more in knowledge

that almost made them like you more..

in the following times after the interview, they greeted you a bit more casually – sometimes cheerfully, asking if you had any new drawings or trivia you wanted to get off your chest

how did you . tame them !? does the whole hard to get thing actually work !?

it confused the girls wildly

but to see them adjusting to being here through someone who actually understood them instead of lying around, empty and lost, was a pick-me-up in the mornings

one morning, after being delivered a coffee, handsigned by the boys, you felt something click in your head, a sensation you had never felt before, and reached to put it in your notebook immediately

"demons, when properly befriended, like to be understood. they brought me coffee. do demons like coffee??"

[chrisfawns]

the girlfriend effect. . .all the ways matt and chris change after getting a girlfriend

꒰ ੭ ꒱ ᐣ matt. . .starts sleeping more 💌🍵🎀

it's a well-known fact that matt doesn't sleep at night. he sleeps the next day. it's not unusual for nick or chris to get up at 5 am to get water, only to see a sliver of light still coming from under matt's door. he's either on the computer, watching tv, or simply pacing, waiting until his body is so exhausted that he has no choice but to sleep.

after you, though? matt's in bed at a solid eleven pm. you're tucked safely into his side, head against his chest. he'll nuzzle his stubbly chin into your hair as you yap about your day until you fall asleep mid-sentence, following you into dreamland shortly after.

now, matt's up before the clock hits noon. his shoulders don't slump with exhaustion anymore; instead, he's awake, dressed, and looks more alive than he ever has. his eyes aren't plagued with dark bags anymore and he has energy now.

ଘ꒰ ꒱ chris. . .drinks more water 🏹🐇🪞

shocked was an understatement. the internet practically exploded the first time they saw it. chris' usual car video soda had been replaced by a bottle of water. in fact, it became such a regular occurrence that even nick and matt were shocked.

"what?" chris asks, looking up to see matt staring at him like he's got two heads.

"you're drinking water?" matt asks, staring at the new, blue stainless steel water bottle that's on the counter next to his brother.

"yeah?"

"since when?"

"since my girl said i had to." chris shrugs, going back to his phone.

before long, chris' water bottle is covered in stickers from places you and him have visited together, cartoon characters, and just about any other sticker you had. the bottle becomes such a regular part of car videos that even you can't resist cracking a joke or two in the comments about the "girlfriend effect".

᧔ ᧓ matt. . .takes an ego sick day 🍰🤍🍓

if you didn't know matt sturniolo, you'd think he was simply a shy, quiet guy. which he is, until you get to know him. then the retorts and self compliments spill out of him faster than a waterfall.

"what song would you want to be edited to?"

"hmm... p power, probably."

"who's the best looking?"

"me. though nick is a close second."

"kid, if you're gonna talk out of your fuckin' ass at least turn around so i can hear you better."

when you come into the picture, all that goes away. matt's flustered when you caress his jaw and tell him how handsome he is instead of spouting some nonsense like "thanks for telling me what i already knew."

his ears turn pink at the tips and a soft, slow giggle makes its way from his lips. when nick and chris tease him about it, the only thing he says is "god forbid a man gets a little shy around his girlfriend" rather than some reply about being sex on legs.

you like him this way. you softened him. it's nice to know that underneath the mattitude as his brothers call it, matt really is a big softie.

૮ ོ ོ𑁬 chris. . .changes his mindset 🪩🩰🕰️

chris sturniolo has never considered himself "famous", but there's a specific clip of him that circles the internet every few months that one could argue he's famous for.

"what's your biggest fear?"

"having a girlfriend."

you had to admit that when the video had first come across your tiktok during your early days of dating, you were a bit hesitant. would he really commit to you?

that video is specifically is why matt and nick are shocked when chris hands you a plate of food as you grin up at him, eyes crinkling. "thank you, baby." you hum, seemingly unaware of the eyes on you.

even just the pet name has his brothers staring between the two of you, waiting for chris to mumble some shit like "it's not a big deal. it's just food."

instead, chris kisses your forehead, before sitting down beside you. "you're welcome, my love."

nick practically chokes on a piece of pasta. in his entire almost-twenty two-years of life, he's never heard chris call anyone my love and mean it. you and chris seem oblivious to the obvious shock radiating around the deck outside of the boy's boston home.

you reach over and tuck a curl behind chris' ear, a soft, shy smile appearing on your boyfriend's face. again, there's no "stop" or "not now". this time, matt decides that he has to see if you've just changed chris or if an alien has replaced his younger brother.

"you've got sauce on your face, baby." he croons, using his thumb to wipe the side of his brother's face.

chris bats matt's hand away, glaring. "fuck off."

you giggle, watching the chaos before you. chris is glaring at matt like he wants to kill him and matt's just laughing.

"what happened to 'i'm scared of having a girlfriend'?" matt asks.

"times change," chris grumbles. "besides, my girl isn't a dickhead like you."

"you've done something to him." matt says, pointing his fork at you, but you see the smile on his face.

© chrisfawns

𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬. ⋆˚꩜｡: i love it when men change their whole personality after they've met their girl 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ interactions are appreciated but not expected!!

tags ⋆. 𐙚 ̊: @mattslilies @backwardshatnick @bernardsbendystraws @h3arts4nat @mattyblover07 @mattsstarlet

if you'd like to be added to my taglist, inbox me/dm me/comment!!

[ammonia-screw-666]

This is mostly true, however...

The content after the ? are called the query string, url parameters or query parameters. It’s a list of ampersand separated values structured like this:

?key=value&key1=value1

you can also sometimes store arrays (lists) in the params like so (it depends on what you're using to parse query params)

?key=value&key=value1&key=value2 or ?key[]=value&key[]=value1&key[]=value2.

as to what they’re used for it is often tracking but it can be any information not stored in the routing portion of the url that is required for the state of the page (e.g. youtube’s video player uses this to determine which video id to play).

How do URLs even work?

Here's a nice diagram of a url:

The scheme also known as the protocol tells your browser how to talk to the server. For a website this is either http or https. Http communicates in plaintext to the server, https is encrypted. The subdomain is kinda tricky but a good example is how tumblr shows the website versions of blogs under "accountname.tumblr.com". The subdomain is meant to be like a seperate site under the same domain however it's common practice for www to point to the main site since it means worldwide web. The domain is the name of the site the top level domain is just more routing info. You can use anything you want for the domain as long as it doesn't break the encoding of the url (no /'s no <'s no emoticons etc) however there's a much more limited list of top level domains. Port number is kind of unnecessary 99% of the time it's just more routing info but you never need that unless you're a developer. Path is where you are on the site with / being the index it's also common for the path to work similar to folders for example /blog/article would mean an article within the blog section of the site within the index. Then the params will tell the page a bit more context about what's going on (good if you want a page like a doc viewer to be generic and load the document by id without losing the document on refresh) and finally the fragment is meant to be where you are on the page it's usually an id of an element on the page so when the page loads you'll jump to that portion of the page. If you lop off everything after the ? you're likely to mess with a lot of the nice features you are accustomed to on the web and there are better tools to deal with it

But the url isn't the only data storage on the web.

the url params are good for tracking because they are shared with the link but they’re not the only tool. Websites can store info about you in a few different ways:

Their database, if you have an account they can associate any data they collect with your user including info about you that's provided (name, email, etc) all of this should be done according to their privacy policy.

Cookies, everyone has probably heard of these and they get a bad rep. Cookies are essential to the web we have today, they're little pieces of data that expire after a certain amount of time and each has some rules the developer can set about security, cross-site access, and expiration. They are essential to authentication on the web allowing for users to stay logged in on a site in a secure manner. However they also store info about users and cross-site cookies can be used to determine a users browsing habits with a series of collaborating sites.

Local storage and session storage. These are less concerning but still do store data about a user. Local storage stores that data specific to a website and it is just persistent key value storage (e.g. amazon could use local storage to store the cart of a user who isn't logged in so when they do all those items can be added to their account cart and those items with survive page reloads). Session storage stores data like local storage but it is deleted when the tab is closed.

Advertiser ID. This one has little to do with the web but your phone also has an advertising id associated with it that it sends to apps specifically for tracking purposes. I only have an Iphone so I don't know about android but on Iphone this is opt out buried somewhere in the settings.

So what tf should I do???

You don't need to hack up every url and piece it back together until it works. ClearURLs (they are free and open source <3 ) is an extension I use that removes those for you in your browser. https://linkcleaner.app/ is a website that will remove trackers for you and preserve the parts you do want.

Here's a guide on how to disable the tracking id on your phone

I also recommend using ublock origin (also free and open source) to block ads and trackers. I still don't care about cookies is an extension to automatically deal with those prompts about cookies by only accepting the necessary ones since EU regulations requires consent from the user to use tracking cookies. You can also set your browser to auto delete browsing data and/or cookies.

Use a good vpn if you can afford it I use mullvad (they're not miracle privacy apps or anything but they do obscure information about you and mullvad offers blocking on the dns level to block ads, trackers, and some other stuff this works great for blocking mobile game ads, sadly doesn't block youtube app ads). Mullvad is pretty cheap, doesn't paywall the ability to connect to any vpn server they have beyond the basic subscription, and does not collect or share your data.

Practice good security (use a password manager, etc) as well as be selective about what websites you use and where you put what information.

Also obligatory shout out to Signal for being the only messaging app I would trust to talk about sensitive information securely on.

TLDR;

Not everything after the ? is tracking you and there are lots of good tools to limit the effects of things that are and stay safe from much more than just url params. Read the So what tf should I do??? section.

Do you check for trackers and remove them before sharing links?

[lighting-and-shadow]

Ikigai, Part 10

Summary: You’re desperately in love with a man who already belongs to another.

Ikigai (n.) (Japanese): "A reason for being," the thing that gets you up in the morning.

Part 9

Your power’s been strange since that day you heard the melody. You haven't had the joyous occasion of it coming back into your life and your ears, but your heart still yearns for it, calls for it. You try not to dwell on it. That want, that need, takes backstage for the oddities that have been popping up since it first whispered in your ear.

Like now. You know Miss Hunter’s in danger even before the alarm attached to the earrings you gave her go off. You feel the dread in your heart, feel it fill your empty and lonely soul. The sheer volume of that feeling jolts you awake.

Sylus slumbers beside you. He insisted, worry lacing his voice and his hand gently brushing your cheek when he asked you to stay. The look in his eyes is what pushed you to do so. They were inquiring about your relationship, about where you stand after all that's happened.

You should’ve put your foot down. You should’ve kept your distance. Your mind told you so. Your heart didn’t listen, once again.

So you two share a bed again, entangled in each other’s embrace. Sylus’ fast heartbeat syncs to yours. His every breath is the most comforting soundtrack you’ve ever experienced.

Or, it used to be. Nothing could compare to the sound of your beloved being fast asleep until your heard that piece. That song of the stars, that hymn of the universe, is the best thing that’s ever had graced your ears. You hunger to hear it again.

And maybe that selfish wish is why you rush out of bed. You long to hear it again. Because that time, enveloped in that beat, is probably the only time in your life you’ve ever been at true peace. The only time you’ve ever truly belonged.

Miss Hunter is the key to that, and you haven’t seen her in some time, making room for her to bond with Sylus. You’ve pushed both of them into each other’s arms (ironic given that you still let yourself sleep in Sylus’).

That’s what you’ve assumed, anyway. Neither of them have told you anything of the sort. Sylus just spends more time in Linkon and Miss Hunter talks about him in a better light when you two text.

Feels like a husband trying to hide a mistress from his wife with the way they sneak around. And said mistress is her friend.

The mere thought makes you want to vomit. To expel that thought and all others that could follow from both your mind and stomach.

Stop it, you tell yourself as you unceremoniously wiggle your way out of a sleeping Sylus’ embrace. There’s nothing between you two, and everything is right between them.

Your rush, oddly enough, isn’t what wakes your boss. He eyes only shoot open the moment your warmth completely leaves his.

“Where…?” His voice cracks a bit, and he constantly blinks his eyes in the struggle to keep them open.

You wonder, in this moment, what you would do if two really were together. If he really was your husband like so many assume. If he really was yours and not someone else’s.

Would he coax you back into his arms, kissing the back of your neck and mumbling nonsense? Would you two play a game of back and forth, to see who will get up or who will go back to sleep? Or would he simply just wrap his arms around your waist like at the gala a few weeks ago, kissing you everywhere in order to wake himself?

Just the idea flusters you. So flustered that your first attempt on putting on a shirt is one that’s inside out and backwards. You quickly remedy this, glancing back at Sylus as you put the shirt back on right.

He doesn’t even flinch at the brief sight of your bare back. Understandable. You’ve seen him practically naked (except for a towel he haphazardly put on). He’s seen almost every inch of you, bandaging and stitching you back together in more ways than one.

What I wouldn’t give for him to take me apart in the best way possible?

Everything is so very, very hot again.

“Go back to sleep, Morana,” you whisper to him, not going back near the bed in fear you’d do something stupid like kiss him. “Something came up. I’ll handle it, and you call you after I do.”

“Alright,” he yawns. “Come back to me soon.”

You almost cry at his words.

“Be sure to tell the boys. You know how they worry about you.”

You nod, sending a quick text to your group chat with Luke and Kieran (the two menaces named it “When Mom Needs to Shit Talk Dad”) before you head out to your motorcycle.

You don’t check your phone for her location. Something tells you Skyhaven is the place. And another thing tells you that your world is about turn upside down.

As you drive, you soon don’t even need instinct for the former of your ideas. Because Miss Hunter’s thread appears, like the red guiding light in some video game. You know it’s hers because the stories it weaves are hers. The explosion. Her entry into the N109 zone. And some childhood memories she’s told you about.

But this isn’t Sylus’ connection to her that’s leading you. It’s someone else. A boy who’s been by her side for ages. A boy whose death drove her into your life and Sylus’.

You don’t quite see who this boy—man—is. Or maybe you and even Miss Hunter’s very soul are blocking him out. His blurry image conjures confusion, anxiety, betrayal, and layers upon layers pain.

You drive faster.

—

It’s surprisingly easy to find Miss Hunter. Pulling a few (sometimes literal) strings with members of The Fleet, a nice smile here, and a bit of manipulation there, and you find her. She appears to be in a nurse’s uniform, something that gives you pause. What makes you unpause is the aggressive man whose hands are on her.

His appearance flickers, much like Sylus’ did on that fateful day you first met him. Except his doesn’t bounce between dragon and human. No. For this man, you sometimes see a black bandage cover his eyes, and gold running down his body. Said body also becomes engulfed in black machine parts, and you hear them turn even when you’re some distance away.

He looks so much like Alex did that day years ago. Gold instead of silver runs across his metallic body and he lacks the powerful weapon they clutched in their hand. But the same emptiness is there. That same blank slate that hums with a power you want nothing to do with is there.

The difference between this man and Alex though is that he is still alone. He’s still someone’s pawn, and is willing to stay that way for the sake of the woman he loves.

Alex would never be in this position. Their family situation may be complicated, but Kai will never stand for it to escalate. She never allows her spouse’s family to have their way.

The man with cold violet eyes doesn’t have that. He stands a bastion between Miss Hunter and a horrific fate you don’t even want to think about. He stands between her and an evil that you can see in his thread.

Ever.

You hoped to never hear that name again. To never remember the scientists that poked and prodded at you when no sign of a soulmate came in at the expected age. You wonder if they told him about you. You wonder if you’re going to get dragged back into the strange rooms with the strange devices again.

You wonder if your rescue mission is about to become a failed one.

You call out Miss Hunter’s first name. She turns to you, and the military man finally acknowledges your presence. She runs to you, and you shuttle her behind you.

Calm yourself.

You take deep breaths, watching his thread like a hawk, dissecting each little notch and every little twist to find something to exploit. You don’t want to be near this man that represents everything that makes your skin crawl any longer than you have to.

“Apologizes, ummm?” You trail off, laughing at yourself. “I’m sorry, what’s your name? My friend here didn’t mention you in her report.”

“Report?” Is all that comes out of his mouth. His words are devoid of anything. No inflection. No feelings. Nothing.

Your blood runs cold. Miss Hunter hands begin to grip the back of your shirt. She trembles.

“Yes, yes. Her report. The Hunter Association did send her to investigate some things, correct?” The man makes a notion for you continue. “When she submitted it, it was decided by her boss that I’d come and pick her up.”

“The Fleet wasn’t informed about any such development.”

You figured as much.

“I didn’t think the retrieval of one hunter needed to be told to them. The Fleet is busy enough as it is. Adding more paper work and things to sign for us to get one of our own seems foolish, does it not?”

You hate staring at those dead eyes of his. But it’s the only way to get his attention. The only way for him to believe your words and let the two of you go.

But you can hardly focus on getting your words out. There’s something wrong with this man, something mechanical. Something that’s burrowed so deep within him that it messes with him on a fundamental level.

It’s not enough to change his soul, thankfully. You can still see his worry, even if it’s not on his face. You can still see his love for Miss Hunter, even if he doesn’t show it.

So you keep your eyes on his, and hope to the universe that your abilities and your voice are enough to get away.

“Than may I ask why the Association needs her, given the state she’s in and the fact that you didn’t inform us she was to be sent back to Linkon so early?”

“I’m afraid a stranger isn’t privy to such information.”

“Colonel Caleb Xia,” he sticks his hand out for you to shake it.

You take it, and give him your name.

“Now that we’re not strangers, answer my question.”

His attitude is grinding your gears. His attitude, the fear he's giving Miss Hunter, and just the wrongness about him makes you snap inside.

“Well, Colonel,” you’re more harsh with your tone now. “I don’t see why I should. You did not inform the Association of her injuries. You did not inform us that she would be taken on a private airship, forced against her will for treatment, and then hunted down like an animal when she made the reasonable assumption you wouldn’t let her leave and try to escape. I don’t owe a brute like you jack-shit, let alone answers.”

You stick out an arm to further shield Miss Hunter. This seems to rattle the Colonel a bit. So you push further.

“The way you speak to me gives me the impression that you’re suspicious of me. Which is ironic coming from a man that’s meant to be dead.”

Miss Hunter flinches at your words. You use your other hand to soothe her, and even your powers brush against her very soul to calm her. You hate to shake her so much. But using these words, using his own guilt against him, is probably the best chance you have of leaving here.

“Some things came up. Things that you don’t need to know.”

He steps closer to you.

“Ah. So we both have our secrets, don’t we?” You get in his face. “Only mine doesn’t cause my friends great distress.”

His emotionless mask finally cracks a little. Just a smidge. But his thread tells you of mountains and mountains of guilt. Of how it hurts to see the woman he loves so scared of him.

You don’t give a shit. Sure, you almost pity him a bit. But Miss Hunter’s shaky hands on your back, and the reminder of the love you know she deserves from Sylus kills that pity in seconds.

If anything, his cruelty is just another reason you’ll make sure he never has her. It’s just another reason for you to drive her into Sylus’ arms and break your heart again.

“It’s just a misunderstanding.”

The cliche words make you want to strangle him.

“I’d hate to know what kind of misunderstandings you’ve had in the past, Colonel, to think that any of what you’ve done is acceptable.”

“And what exactly is it that you think I’ve done? You just got here, Miss,” the way he says your name makes you all the angrier.

“I have eyes, Colonel. I know a terrified woman trying to escape from a domineering man when I see one.”

You hope flat-out calling him an abuser will get Caleb to back down. Because you know he’s doing all this with good intentions. He doesn’t want to hurt Miss Hunter. He doesn’t want to scare her.

Too bad the pathway to hell is paved with good intentions. Too bad he’s one of those people who refuse to see and acknowledge when they’re wrong.

“How did you find us?” He ignores your comments altogether.

Fine. I’ll play your game.

“By asking around. People are surprisingly agreeable to what you want when you’re not demanding or controlling. Right, Colonel?”

His face scrunches at your implications.

“I wouldn’t know. My job is to command or listen to orders. I do not ask for permission.”

“You know, every word out of your mouth makes me wish you stayed dead.”

You regret the words as soon as they leave your lips. You don’t really mean them. Not truly. Any family or goodness for Miss Hunter is something you’ll celebrate.

Even if Caleb is something that somehow falls into those categories. Even if the man you'll never allow her to truly be with is one of those people.

He’s caused so much pain. So much anguish in her threads and turmoil in her mind. The normally confident and headstrong hunter is silent behind you. Her soul begs for her to run.

You want to turn around and hug her. Give her a shoulder to cry on. To ease her mind while you plot with Sylus how to fuck up the lives of anyone who’s ever hurt her. You want to save her, protect her.

And the more these emotions boil, the more you wonder. Is this the influence of that song? Or is this just what it means to be so beloved by the universe? That even someone like you is drawn into her orbit, ready to give up the man you love for her in a heartbeat?

Once again, your selfish heart wonders if she and all the love the world wants to give her, is the reason you have no love at all.

“Harsh words from someone who just met me,” the Colonel’s quip drags you out from the depths of your self-hatred.

“You’ve just made that bad of a first impression on me.”

“What did I do to do that?”

“You do not want me to answer that.”

The Colonel and you say nothing to each for some time, just staring the other down.

“We really must get going. We have things to attend to, as I’m sure you do as well.”

You turn to try and leave, guiding Miss Hunter to walk in front of you, but Caleb grabs your wrist.

“Unhand me this second, or so help me, Colonel I will make you wish you stayed dead and buried.”

He lets go. You and Miss Hunter return to your old stance of her behind you while you face her childhood friend.

“She’s injured.”

“I’m aware.”

“She can’t work like this.”

“I’m also aware of that. I’ll treat her once we’re back in Linkon and she’s in a comfortable space.”

“She needs rest.”

“And she’ll get it. Away from you. Believe or not, there are others that care for her as well and can do so without violating her autonomy.”

“Why do you need her specifically?”

His change of topic doesn't go unnoticed by any of you. Once again, you play along.

“As I said before, it’s none of your business, so I won’t go into the details. All I will tell you is that her resonance Evol is needed for some investigative work.”

You pause, staring deeper into those cold eyes and his frantic thread.

“And, she has a capable partner that will look after her during this process. She won’t even have to lift a finger.”

“You?”

You almost snort. While you may have cynically thought of joining the Hunter's Association out of spite, you'd never truly consider it. Too... perfect for someone as broken as you. Too bright, too kind, too messy, too secretive, too—

It's just too much. Too much for you and your bloodstained hands and soon-to-be broken heart.

“Oh heavens, no. Not me. I’m not the fighting type,” you can hear Sylus and the twins cackle in your mind as you say this.

You may not like fighting, but everyone in Onychinus knows you can be deadly in one if need be. And some of your opposition actually fears you more than Sylus because of that. Because Sylus’ power is tangible, you can see his energy Evol as it snuffs a life out.

But no one can see it when you pull a thread out of someone’s heart. Or twist their very soul into oblivion. Or choke the life out of them with their own connection to their soulmate.

Your mystery is your greatest weapon. And it’s another reason you tell yourself not to divulge your secret ever again.

“Than how can I trust this mysterious partner if they don’t have the decency to show up themselves?”

Shit.

You gather yourself quickly. You need to steer the conversation elsewhere.

“Your trust in my words are irrelevant. I don’t need your permission to take her anywhere, I’m just giving her childhood friend who’s worried about her well-being the curtesy of being told such information. I’m not leaving you in the dark.”

Caleb’s mask once again wavers, so you push more.

“I’m not leaving you frightened of the unknown and nor am I strong-arming you into doing what I want with my authority. I’m having a conversation with you in hopes you’ll see things from my point of view. And I’m not ignoring your clear discomfort nor your fears.”

“And what is it you think I’m afraid of?”

“That you’ll lose her again. Or they’ll get their hands on her.”

You know that’s the right thing to say when the Colonel’s hand begins to hover over his waist, where you assume his gun is. His eyes go dead again. Cold. Bottomless. All consuming.

Just where you want him.

“You think you two are the only ones they’re hunting? You think she’s the only one they’ve ever obsessed over?”

You hate yourself for this. For putting this information into his hands, their hands, again. Because you became a ghost once you entered the N109 zone. You disappeared from their grasp because the old man in charge of the Zion Hunt knows better than to blab about you.

It was your wish from him when you won his little competetion during your first year with Sylus. It was the wish and deal you made with him, his very soul the price should he ever break it. Whether it was you or Sylus that would come to collect, you hope to never know.

Because you were dead to Ever. And it was supposed to stay that way. But for her, and for Sylus, you’ll come back. You’ll put yourself back under their radar in hopes they’ll chase you and not her.

And while you’re at it, maybe you can save the Colonel as well. You may hate who he is right now, but you're curious about the boy he used to be. The boy Miss Hunter loves like family. The boy he was before Ever broke him like they broke you.

“You aren’t,” you continue. “In fact, I think the Professor loved me most of all before I left him.”

“Why?”

He’s still tense. Still ready to end your life and forcibly take Miss Hunter away. But you know where to strike. You know because his thread tells you he’s heard about you. About the strange little girl with no soulmate but with the power to see others, to touch others, to manipulate others.

Seems the Professor still remembers me.

You still remember him. You still remember how him and Josaphine and all the others treated you. You still remember the many tests, the files you read, and all the injections they gave you before your family sent you off to school that same day like nothing happened.

You still remember the adrenaline and joy that coursed through your veins the day you finally ran from it all. That same adrenaline pumps now at the thought of going back.

But you’d do it for her. For them. And hopefully, they’ll all forgive you for it.

“Because I turn everything we’ve ever known about humanity and love upside down.”

Bullseye.

Caleb lowers his hand to his side, no longer ready to shoot you. Because now he realizes you’re just like him, just like Miss Hunter. Another one of the Professor’s runaway “children”. Another one of his pawns that never wants to see him again.

“And do you know what my parents told me each time they took me to him?”

“What?” He asks the question breathily, shaken to his core despite how the chip in his head tries to stop him from feeling.

You pull at his literal heartstrings, at his soul, to bypass the machine. The power of universe itself is far more potent and compelling than some man-made computer.

“That it was for my own good,” that hits Caleb harder than any of your other words, and you scoff when you say it. “Selfish words by selfish people who refuse to admit when they’re wrong. When they refuse to see how they hurt the people they claim to love.”

Miss Hunter burrows deeper into your back. You twine your power into her threads to soothe her, since you can’t physically do it right now.

Her friend Caleb, on the other hand, seems to have been shattered. As if the weight of his actions has hit him. He doesn’t show it on his face or in his eyes, but in his thread. In the thread tied to the very woman who he scared so much.

“You love her, don’t you?”

No response.

“So why continue to hurt her as you do? Why continue to be like my parents and do something that she clearly doesn’t want and is only causing harm?”

“Because it’s a misunderstanding.”

“We already went over this, Colonel,” you’re gentle with your tone now, empathy bleeding into every fiber of your being.

I’ll get you out next, you tell yourself. I’ll get you and all the rest away from that man I should’ve killed years ago.

“But how about I put it another way? How do you expect me to believe you, who disappeared from her life once already and is now back and causing her pain, to be a better place for recovery than a place where everyone loves her and respects her ability to take care of herself?”

Once again, the Colonel doesn’t show how much of a gut punch your words are. You are a stranger, after all. And he’s been literally programmed to suppress how he feels.

So you tug at the string only you can. You tug on the connection on you can feel and twist and exploit. And he starts to feel it all. His guilt. His piles and piles of insecurity. And how maybe, just maybe, all you’ve been saying is right.

It’s a bit gross to you, to do this to a man who’s already been through so much. But he isn’t your priority. She is. The young woman who cowers behind you. The young woman who put her faith in you.

The young woman that will make the man you love feel whole again. She’s who you came for. She’s who you’ll help. Caleb will have to wait his turn.

“Think about what you’re asking me to do, Colonel, from my perspective. My friend, who I’ve seen be consumed by grief, finally has gets the green light to work again after losing the only parental figure she remembers and the only family she had as well as her home.”

You pause to look his in the eyes and play with his thread more before continuing.

“She goes on said mission, gets heavily injured, and I come to pick her up only to find her on the run from said family member who’s supposed to be dead, and she’s disguised as a nurse as she tries to free herself from him. Would you trust you in my shoes?”

He has no response again, so you deliver what you hope to be the killing blow, “She’s been through so much. Do you really want to make matters worse?”

“I’m not.”

“Yes, you are, Colonel,” you don’t know what compels you to do so, but you lay a hand on his mechanical arm; it takes him by surprise, but since he doesn’t immediately retreat from your touch (and instead leans into it) you count that as a win. “Otherwise, I wouldn’t be here.”

“I thought you were here to pick her up for a mission. How does my presence impact that?”

Got you.

While your words may sound like a slip up, you meant it. You meant for him to catch the underlying meanings of your words and press. You meant to reveal this “truth”.

“Alright, you caught me. There’s no mission. She called me directly because she was scared.”

You can feel the panic from Miss Hunter. You squeeze her hand, both to reassure her and as a promise to tell her everything later. Poor girl’s been lied to her entire life. And you understand that confusion and pain from being deceived by so many better than anyone.

The last thing you want is to become another person in that long list for her.

You take a deep, dramatic, breath. “You see, you never quite know how safe you are in this job. Whether it be Wanderers or rival organizations, danger’s around the corner for us Hunters. The explosion at your house made that all the more obvious.”

You pause, squeezing Miss Hunter’s hand again, making sure Caleb saw the turmoil and pain in your eyes. “So I came up with this system for me and her. A way to call each other discreetly and to be sure we’ll get back up from a trusted friend. Regardless of where we were of whether we had our Hunter’s watches. A way for us to protect one another while still respecting each other’s space.”

You don’t quite know what it is this time that gets Caleb to see the light. But something flashes across his eyes, and he finally backs down. You almost let out a sigh of relief. But your professionalism makes you choke it back down.

Don’t waver. You’re not in the clear yet. Not until she’s home and safe.

“I see…” his voice carries the most emotion you’ve heard from him.

You sneakily curl a finger around his thread, tapping into that heart of his that you know still sleeps in his chest. No machine, no stupid little chip, will keep you from reaching it.

So you rub the thread between your fingers. You rub it and make him see the pain he’s causing, the suffering on the woman he loves’ face. You force him to see that feeling and come face to face with the realization that he caused it.

Something shifts in the Colonel. You words coupled with you literally touching his soul get to him in ways he didn’t think possible.

“I see…” he says again, this time, with pain in it.

You finally relax.

“I’ll escort you out.”

Your stomach drops at the mere idea. “No need. I happen to have quite the memory, and can get us out safely on my own.”

“I insist.”

Please don’t.

“Haven’t you done enough damage with your “insisting” already?”

A low blow. But nothing is too low for you to get him to back off. To get away from this man that makes your friend tremble and you uncomfortable.

You don’t know if it’s the machine in his head, the emotionless landscape of his past life, or the way that history of his reminds you of your missing friend Alex. Any one of those could be what ultimately makes you not want to be in his presence.

The Colonel opens his mouth, probably to push his point again, but another voice interrupts him before he can.

“Colonel Xia. What the fuck are you doing?”

The voice comes from behind you and Miss Hunter. It’s female, and a bit scratchy. From disuse or just a natural undertone to it, you don’t know. But something about it compels you to keep your gaze forward. For whatever reason, you can’t bring yourself to turn around.

Miss Hunter can’t either, judging by how she buries her face into your back.

The steps of your savior are anything but comforting. A pit forms in your stomach. A pit that’s familiar.

Death approaches.

Every part of you wants to fight. To fight against what your lizard brain sees as a foe but what your logical one sees as an ally. It’s a confusing storm of emotions. One that gets worse once you see the woman.

She flickers. Just like Alex and Caleb. Just like Kai. Exactly like Sylus, given how her changes are that of horns and a tail.

She’s a fiend.

It’s the first time you’ve seen similar past lives. You’ve seen Lemurians. You’ve seen cyborgs. You’ve seen beings made of flowers and sand. But never two of the same.

Another fiend isn’t something you thought you’d ever see. Another fiend shouldn’t be possible, given that you know Sylus was the only of his kind (a dragon that's too human, and a human that's too much of a monster). Another fiend like him shakes everything you thought you knew.

Who is she?

Caleb, as if hearing your thoughts, answers for you, “Undertaker Rafia. What are you doing here, ma’am?”

The amount of respect he gives this woman shocks you somewhat. The same man who tried to force his own soulmate into compliance, who frightens even you, is on edge by the appearance of one woman.

A woman of tall stature. A bulky, muscular woman. A woman with pitch black hair and the palest skin you’ve ever seen. A woman who was once a fiend.

That same woman stands between you and Caleb, her back still turned to you.

“Why I’m here is irrelevant. You have a ceremony to get to, and if you don’t get your ass in gear, it’ll be your funeral I’m planning next.”

“Ma’am, I—“

“Get to it, Caleb. Before you piss me off more.”

Caleb seems to weigh his options for a second. Before he salutes her and walks off. The tension in your body finally releases. You can breathe now. You can exist now without the weight of the Colonel’s eyes and voice on your shoulder.

“I’ll escort the two of you out. You shouldn’t have any more problems.”

Despite the primal fear her appearance first gave you, you’re grateful. She turns to you, and you open your mouth to tell her thank you, but something makes all words catch in your throat. And you stare.

You stare at Undertaker Rafia, even as Miss Hunter’s hold on you becomes a death grip on you. Not because you’re grateful. Not because you’re in shock.

No. You stare for a reason you never thought possible. You stare because the sight before you shouldn’t be real.

She has no soulmate.

Undertaker Rafia has no soulmate thread. Just. Like. You.

—

You’re 7 and in love with your best friend, the son of mother’s own best friend.

You sit on the couch in the game room of his house, picking at the fraying knitted blanket. Your crush sits next to you, eyes more focused on the pause screen of his video game than you. You don’t mind though. His dedication to his games is one of the reasons you like him.

He’s so excited about them, rambling to you about them with wild gestures while you just sit and listen. He could fill up an entire conversation for you two. You don’t need to say a word. You don’t need to force yourself into the awkwardness of trying to find the right words.

You could just be there with him.

”Sam says you like me.”

You nod.

”So… you do?”

You nod again, still unable to utter a word. Maybe because speaking will make this all too real? Maybe because speaking will make him laugh at you?

You chase that stupid thought away. He’d never laugh at you. He’s always kind with you, offering you his blanket when he’s clearly cold, opening doors for you, listening to your opinions on the rare occasion you can your mouth to form actual sentences.

Your friend treats you so preciously. And it makes you hope and pray you’ll be lucky enough to discover that he’s your soulmate.

”But I’m not your soulmate.”

Your friend tilts his head at you. Your heart falls with the motion. And you force your mouth to move and for words to come out.

You can’t lose him.

”You don’t know that,” you barely manage to mumble.

He takes your hand, toothy grin on his face. A grin that you love and makes you flush and makes you smile the biggest smile in your little life.

”I guess we’ll find out.”

You could cheer.

That all goes away in a few days. Your love? Tossed aside. Your happiness? Dashed. The friendship and the new relationship with a boy you thought like-liked you? Gone.

One day, you’re happy and the sun is shining and the birds are chirping. The next, he’s dumping you.

”I like someone else now,” he says kindly, as if that’ll make the blow hurt any less.

Your mind races. What did you do wrong? What have you done to make him like this, to make him no longer like-like you? Tears gather in your eyes as your chest aches.

You clutch at it. The pain is unbearable. You think your heart is literally breaking, shattering. Thump, thump, thump, it goes steadily. But, the pain, oh the pain, makes you believe otherwise. How else could you explain the piercing stabs in your chest?

You can’t look at your friend. Can’t look at him with his apologetic eyes and sweet voice that tries to calm you down. Can’t look at him with his soft hands that rub your back and familiar clothes that you think look cute on him.

All there is for you is pain. Pain in your chest as you sob and sob and sob. The one person, your person, is leaving you. Abandoning you. When you thought he’d be the only person to ever stay with you.

He’s the only one who sees you in your silence. Where your family teases you and tells you to take a joke, he gives you comforting reassurance of your feelings. Where others tell you to speak up, he gives you space to find your voice. Where the world tell you your heart is too tender and too soft, he tells you it’s a gift to care so much.

He is your rock in the storm. Your everything. The one pillar in your life that makes the house of you stand strong. And now, he’s knocking it down without a care.

And with that, your sorrow turns to rage. At his betrayal. At his abandonment. At anything and everything about him and the embarrassment he’s causing you on this stupid couch you confessed on.

When you look at him, at his chest he’s trying to suffocate you in because the stupid boy thinks that’ll comfort you and mend your heart, you see it. You see this odd red string that shimmers. You push him away. You blink. All sounds are quiet.

The string is still there. Still shimmering, still floating, still making waves from his heart. You're as enchanted by it as you are lost by it. Why is it here? How is it here? What is it?

You just stare. Your friend’s hands still rub your back in vain. Your chest is still on fire. Your eyes still produce tears despite how much it hurts to, despite how much they make you choke and spit and cough.

You cling to the string instead of him. You cling to this mystery. Because every mystery has a solution according to your teachers. Every puzzle has an answer, one that makes sense.

What sense is there to be found in your friend? What sense is there to be found in your own heart?

As if knowing what’s going through your mind, the string calls out to you louder. It compels you stronger. To listen. To touch it. To experience it. So, in your confused and broken heart, you do.

And you see her. An unassuming girl. A girl who didn’t know your friend like you did. A girl who would never give a nerd like him the time of day because all that matters is popularity and talking and peopling and all these other things that just isn’t your friend.

”Is it her? Is she your soulmate?”

The other question slips out before you can stop it. Her name follows shortly after. 

You don’t even need to look at your friend to know the answer. The string tells you. It’s taken his place as your place of comfort. You grasp it in your hands.

Will this leave me too? you wonder.

”What are you doing?” Your friend asks; you barely hear him because no words out of his mouth matter more than this moment.

But his stupid words do tell you something. They tell you he can’t see them.

Am I the only one who can?

Maybe the string is secret you’ve been entrusted with? Maybe it’s your apology from the universe for your broken heart? Maybe it can be your new friend?

Excitement and glee unlike any you've ever felt flood your chest. The strings are yours. They're something no joke, no call to speak up, and no adult can take from you.

It doesn’t vanish when you touch it. It doesn’t leave once you have it in your grasp like your friend is doing now. It sits with you. It speaks with you. And you speak what it tells you.

”You two share dreams, right?” You don’t give your friend time to answer. “Started yesterday, you fell asleep beneath our special tree. She wasn’t at school that day. Fever.”

Your friend has nothing to say, so you continue, “You should give her the blue Jolly Ranchers the next time you two share. She knows they’re your favorite, so she lies and says she doesn’t like them. She also hates the watermelon, you know. But your smile is worth choking them down.”

The more you learn, the more the tears fall from your eyes. Guilt begins to replace your hurt. Your chest still sings with a blaze you can’t put out.

”She actually loves chess and checkers. Guess you have someone new to play with.”

One sob you can’t hold back interrupts you. Image after image that illustrates how perfect she is for him and how perfect you aren't enter your mind. Each one stabs a new hole in your heart.

”She’s perfect for you. So, so perfect.”

You break. You scream. You throw pillows around and toss the blanket that the two of were sharing at a window.

”Why? Why, why, why, why, why?!”

Footsteps rush up the stairs. Their family dog is barking. Your throat hurts. Your voice is scratchy. When was the last time you raised it? Ever?

As your family comes to your side, asking what’s wrong, and your friend looks at you with horrified eyes, you finally whisper, “Why couldn’t it been me?”

The ride home is a blur. Your family’s attempts at comfort are a blur. Everything but your final words to your friend is a blur.

Why? Why couldn’t it been me?

That’s the only thought is your head until you finally fall asleep. As well as when you get to school and spot your friend and his soulmate feeding each other those stupid blue Jolly Ranchers to each other, laughing.

He doesn’t spare you glance. He doesn’t reach out. He doesn’t talk to you. And you, with your new friend in the strings, let him.

Your teacher, however, doesn’t. She pulls you aside after class.

”Did you and,” she says your friend’s name, “get into a fight?”

You nod your head, not looking her in the eyes. Eyes are scary to you. They should say too much according to the books you’ve read. But to you, they say too little.

Now, you have your strings. You have these things no one else can see, but everyone seems to possess. Even your teacher.

Worry makes waves in her sting. Worry and exhaustion. So you cut straight to the point, even as your body begs you to just shut down and wait it out like usual.

”Yes. He broke my heart because he found his soulmate.”

Surprise colors your teacher’s string. After all, you’re a quiet child. One who keeps her eyes glued to the floor and voice barely above a whisper. One who—in some case, quite literally—runs from conflict and the rest of the world.

You don't talk to adults. They never listen anyway, so you stopped a long time ago. So you understand why hearing your voice so clearly and so directly is strange to your teacher.

You await her response, hoping and praying for something good. While you may still hurt from your friend’s abandonment, you got the strings out of it. Maybe an adult will listen and help you for once because of them?

”Oh honey,” anticipation builds within you. “You should be happy for him! He found his one true love… you two were never going to last long anyways.”

The world collapses again. Tears build in your eyes again. But you don’t let yourself cry. You don’t let yourself beg or scream or wail because that didn’t help you the first time. Why would it be different now?

Why did I even hope?

So you turn to her string. You turn to her love because yours is so meaningless and empty and a waste and nothing—

”You get glimpses of your soulmate when you paint, right?”

You just start talking before you can think. Again.

”The color purple comes in pretty often. That, and dolphins. It’s because it’s Mrs. Smith, the math teacher. Did you know she does opera on the weekends because singing gives her glimpses of you?”

Your teacher’s jaw is on the ground. You shuffle away as she tries to recover from what you just said. You wait for your family to pick you up, more hopeless than ever.

The next day, news spreads that your teacher and Mrs. Smith are together. It gets around that a pair of soulmates found each other miraculously after years of unknowingly working together for years. Your teacher tells her, your, story. And the world finally begins to listen to you.

You begin to speak. With so many eyes turning to you, wondering about where you got your information, you tell. You tell them about the threads and what they whisper to you. What they say about others, about their soulmates, about their pasts, and about their loves.

One of your classmates gives you a look. A look you know all too well. A look that resonants in their own thread, which tells you they don’t believe you.

You aren’t even surprised anymore.

But another classmate approaches you after class. Asks about their thread and their other half. And you tell them. To go to a cafe with their parents on a specific day at a specific time. There, they will bump into their other half and be able to share their thoughts with them.

They do so. And another success falls into your lap.

After that, more and more people approach you. Some kids. Some adults. Some old people. Some from school. Some from apparently the other side of the world. All hearing stories and rumors from those you’ve helped.

You tell every time. Despite their clear caution. Despite the glances you now get in the hallway. Despite how the loneliness piles and piles on top of the grave of your old love.

But the final nail in your coffin comes from your friend again. Or rather, from his family. Yours and his are trying to make you two talk again. To make everyone friends again and “keep the peace” as the adults are saying.

You don’t budge. His useless apologies and meaningless sorries bounce right off your ears. Because all you can see is his thread and his memories with her. All you can see is your broken love and his blossoming new one.

So you turn to another thread. Not your family’s because you know them far too well. But his mother’s, the only one who seems to understand you. And you’re floored again.

”Your husband is not your soulmate.”

For the third time, your mind can’t stop your mouth.

”Your bonds are both similar, so you just assumed as much. When you sleep at night, you get your other half’s memories, right? Well, you each got the wrong sibling.”

Chaos ensues. You’re being screamed at by all: your friend, his family, your family, and even yourself. You just retreat into your mind, and into the threads. It’s the one place that can never hurt you.

You family doesn’t hear from your friend and his family for some time. Your own family has been distant from you. You no longer care. All you need are the threads. They’re the only truly loyal thing in your life.

When you do hear from your friend and his family again, you’re greeted by warmth. By joy. By tears of absolute happiness.

”Thank you,” they all say. “Thank you for making us all whole.”

You wonder why. According to everyone, you broke up a family. And according to what you know, that should be bad. So why are you being praised? Why are you being thanked?

Your friend begins to hang out with you again. He becomes your voice again. He gives you snacks and blankets and pillows again. He looks at you with happiness again.

Than it all falls into place when you see him with her. When you see your teachers together. When you see the two new couples that form your friend's family.

Who cares who or what a soulmate’s love hurts? Everything is nothing compared to it.

You think this as you watch your friend play video games with his other half, smiling while you watch with your own wavering grin, heart stitched together by your own resilience and refusal to hurt again.

Author's Note: Also, please go to the original blurb to ask to be added to the taglist (it's impossible for me to keep checking every part every time I update).

2nd Author's Note: This has honestly been the most emotional and personal Ikigai chapter for me to write, since I based part of Reader's past emotional trauma on my own (it's the easiest for me to write and works as therapy, so win-win). I mentioned early on there would be flashbacks, and I wanted to showcase some of her young life and where her mindset came from. I have one more planned—which is coming next chapter—but let me know if you'd like more!

3rd Author's Note: If I wrote and published an acutal novel, would anyone here read it? Because I had a fiction workshop class and I'm so invested with the story I cooked up there!

4th Author's Note: What's your ideal date? I need ideas for a future scene in this series, and would love some more input.

Taglist: @eolivy, @rafayelridesfisheatsfish, @animegamerfox, @jasperjokester, @schrodingerskimdokja, @just--crys, @snowdynasty, @shi-thats-kiera, @mansonofmadness, @dwuclvr, @ameilli, @katiedoesstuff101, @everythingistaken00, @napa-the-yappa, @hanaluxx, @lovesick-sylus, @tenaciouszombiewombat, @ladyparamount, @applepi405, @midnight-reverie, @69-gojos-wife-69, @bellagrayson-wayne, @phisen, @idkmanimjusthorny, @munchychuusy, @autumn2534, @poptrim, @sillyfreakfanparty, @zaynesfirefly, @flamedancer13, @thissmartdumbass, @mrsllawliet, @jeondyy, @ssetsuka, @dels-page, @that-lost-one, @johnnysactualgf, @mariquitas-en-verano, @toelady, @sinnamon-bunn, @yesbiaswrecked, @doggyteam2028, @little-rays-of-darkness, @albatrossblue, @vyntheria, @silverianni, @browneyedgirl22, @tiklestar, @beaconsxd, @pepperushia

[sheerfreesia007]

Sunscreen & Surrender

Pairing: Hyunjin x Reader

Word count: 2,394

Content warnings: Fluff, kissing, suggestive, implied sex 

Summary: A sun-drenched weekend getaway with Hyunjin turns sizzling when a simple beach day melts into teasing touches, stolen kisses, and barely-contained desire. With his tour looming, the two of you make every second count—heat, sunscreen, and all.

SKZ Taglist: @kayleefriedchicken, @babigriin, @inlovewithstraykids, @channiesrightasscheek, @kaiyaba

@bookswillfindyouaway, @m-325

Jagi: Sweetheart

Part One: Underwater Love

The sun was high and hot in the sky as you lay out on your long brightly colored towel while sleep is beginning to creep in at the edges of your consciousness. The heat from the sun has your body completely relaxed while your halter bikini is drying slowly from an earlier dip in the ocean. The background symphony of the waves crashing along the sand of the beach has your mind emptying as you relax. The warm ocean breeze sweeps lazily across your skin and you hum softly as you distantly hear the happy cries and chatter of the few other patrons at the beach.

A quiet little beach town, a long weekend and Hyunjin by your side, it didn’t get better than this. You had planned a nice little getaway with your boyfriend since he would be leaving on tour for a few months soon and you wouldn’t be able to meet up with him as often during it this time. So to make up for the time that you would both be spending away from each other you had rented a vacation home in a sleepy little beach town with a whole relaxed itinerary of just exploring the town together.

Still hazy with sleep you were vaguely aware of the sound of running footsteps across the sand and then shivered when droplets of cold ocean water dripped down onto your sizzling skin. Suddenly the sound of a voice filtered into your ears, low, warm and unmistakably Hyunjin’s.

”Jagi, you’re roasting” he said with a soft giggle and you hummed back in response to him. “You’re glowing, but like, dangerously.” He teased gently, chuckling. You were too relaxed and boneless to give him a proper response or to even more at this point but could hear him moving around you and felt the drips of ocean water hit your skin making you shiver.

”Too comfy to care.” You mumbled as you nuzzled your face into your towel and Hyunjin huffed at you softly.

”Well, I care.” He muttered to you the sound of his voice coming from above your head before the sound of rustling followed, alerting you that he was probably digging through your tote bag that you had brought with you. “If you burn, you’re just gonna whine about it for the next three days. Not to mention the possibility of skin cancer!” He fussed at you and you hummed loudly while you stretched lazily like a cat and a wide smile slipped onto your face.

”I don’t whine.” You muttered to him before speaking up once more. “Plus I’m solar powered.” You said jokingly and he scoffed at you.

”You absolutely whine.” He said as amusement colored his voice. “Let me reapply your sunscreen before you turn into a lobster.” When you feel the towel by your legs dip and then his sunscreen slick hands begin to glide along your legs you groan loudly in relief feeling the cool sunscreen against your hot skin.

”You just wanted an excuse to touch me, huh?” You teased him sleepily and Hyunjin scoffed softly at you. You felt him shift his position to straddle your hips before he slowly leant over your back.

”Always.” He whispered to you and you shivered underneath him. As his fingers dug gently into your lower back you melted under his touch almost immediately. His thumbs stroked against your skin with practiced ease before moving up your back. His large hands spanned your whole back as they moved and you couldn’t stop the soft groan that slipped from your mouth as your breath began to pant.

The feeling of your tight muscles beginning to relax under his magic touch made you melt even further than you had already under the hot sun. His fingers dug gently into your shoulder blades as they traveled higher and higher up your back, his thumbs pressing firm, slow circles down sliding down either side of your spine. His palms smoothed over your skin, spreading the sunscreen while massaging and working out all the tension in your muscles that you didn’t even realize was there. You suddenly let out a much louder groan that was embarrassingly loud on the quiet beach.

Hyunjin froze for half a second above you, you felt his weight settle on the of your thighs for a second before his hands moved a little more slowly, more deliberately, gliding down to your waist. His fingers traced the dip of your back and the curve of your hips with feather light touches and you whimpered in response to his touch.

”God,” he mumbled under his breath, “this bikini should be illegal.” You chuckled softly at his words before you shifted underneath him raising your ass to press back into his hips still straddling your thighs and heard his choked gasp.

“What was that Hyune?” You asked sweetly as a knowing grin slipped onto your face. You lifted your head and turned to the side to look over your shoulder at him.

”Nothing.” He said a little too quickly, his cheeks already turning pink as he pushed more sunscreen into his palms. He worked lower now and you shivered as his hands cupped your upper back thighs right under your ass, his thumbs slipping under the hem of your bikini bottoms. “Just…admiring the view.” He said softly, almost sounding like he was in a trance as his thumbs continued to swipe under your bikini bottoms. You bit back another smile as you settled on your towel in a puddle of melted goo and sunscreen.

”You’re gonna spoil me.” You told him knowingly  loving the feeling of his fingers grazing your skin. Never wanting to get used to not feeling his touch.

”Good.” He murmured softly and you could hear the smirk in his voice. You were starting to fall asleep once more as he continued massaging sunscreen into your skin. The relaxing glide of his hands was hypnotic to you and slowly you were falling under his spell. But then you felt him tap your hip gently. “Turn over, gotta do the front.” He said softly and you were shocked slightly at his bold words but couldn’t help the swarm of butterflies that began fluttering in your stomach.

Rolling dramatically onto your back you flung your arms out to either side of your body and Hyunjin chuckled softly at your theatrics before rolling his eyes at your actions. But when you were finally laying on your back his gaze dropped immediately and his jaw slackened as he took in the sight of you in your strappy red bikini, your skin sun-dappled and already glistening from heat and sunscreen.

You watched him under your large dark tinted sunglasses and smirked softly, his eyes kept racing up and down your body catching at your breasts, hips and apex of your thighs while his mouth would drop open slightly. When you watched his tongue dart out and swipe slowly along his bottom lip you couldn’t stop the soft raspy chuckle that slipped from your mouth.

”Hyune” you cooed at him softly, “you’re staring, Jagi.” He blinked slowly as if you had snapped him out of a trance before his eyes darted up to your sunglasses and his mouth snapped shut. You watched as a soft blush began to tint his face and his blinks began to speed up.

”Sorry,” he whispered as his hands fell to your hips and gripped tightly for a second before relaxing as if he couldn’t stop himself for a second. “Just…wow.” He whispered and you chuckled once again as you nestled your head back into your towel feeling smug and proud of his response.

”You’ve seen me in far less before.” You remind him and he quickly shakes his head in response.

”This is different.” He insists to you softly. “The way the sun glitters on you, the way your bikini sits just right on your body. You’re laid out like a dream Jagi.” He whispers. “My dream.” 

Your body flushed with pleasure and warmth due to his soft love filled words and you feel the butterflies begin fluttering once again in your stomach. Hyunjin leaned down to rub sunscreen into your stomach and collarbones now, his touch gentle and slow, mouth slightly parted in awe. His eyes followed the movement of his hands and you watched silently as his eyes heated with desire and lust quickly. His thumbs brushed over your ribs and his hands smoothed along the tops of your thighs dipping now under the hem of your bottoms at the crease of your thighs.

“You’re being awfully thorough.” You tell him softly with a smile as your eyes track his movements lazily.

”Just taking my job seriously.” He tells you before he leans down toward you and presses a soft lingering kiss to your collarbone. Your gasp is quiet as you feel his plush lips suck at your skin for a moment before your hand comes up to the back of his head keeping there pressed against your skin.

”Hyune” you mutter softly as your body shifts under his languidly as you feel your mind cloud with love for the stunning man hovering above you. “This is awfully reminiscent of last night after dinner.” You husk out to him and feel him pause over you. His lips are mid-kiss pressed against the space above your collarbones. You feel his blush heating his face as his nose glides slowly along your skin.

”You can’t bring that up right now.” he tells you in a soft whine, his voice muffled just as he buried his face into your shoulder. You laughed softly, the sound only filtering through the air around the two of you as the sound of crashing ocean waves nearly drowned it out and stole it from the air.

”Why not?” You ask him softly while tilting your head down to his and press a kiss to his temple. “It was so romantic. And…thorough.” You husk out to him and he whimpers softly as he buries his face into your neck.

”Stop.” He pleads with you his voice high and flustered as he refuses to leave the safety of your neck.

”Are you embarrassed?” You asked in a soft coo as your lips stayed pressed to his temple and traveled down to the side of his face. “Because you weren’t embarrassed last night when you-“ you teased him gently in a sultry tone. 

Suddenly he kissed you hard, urgent and hot; moving quickly from your neck to hover over you with both of his arms bracketing you against the towel underneath the two of you. You groaned against his mouth as you easily reciprocated the kiss. You knew he had just wanted to shut you up and it worked-for a moment. But you had other plans for your flustered boyfriend.

Your arms slid up his chest and locked around his neck as you deepened the kiss, slipping your tongue into his mouth as he sighed deeply in pleasure. His hand cupped your waist as if he was holding something fragile and his thumb brushed just below the edge of your bikini top. But while you were sure your pulse was echoing in your ears you could feel your boyfriend trying to calm himself down but you weren’t ready for that yet. You wanted him flustered, you lived for him like that.

”Jagi, don’t do this to me. Not here. We’re in public.” He whined softly against your lips. You smirked as a thought popped into your head at his words.

”We could find a secluded spot. I’m sure there’s a quiet corner of the beach no one’s using…” you trailed off with a sinful smirk aimed at him not believing he’d actually take your suggestion seriously. But the way Hyunjin suddenly sat up, eyes wide and already scanning the beach? Oh, he was considering it. “Wait, seriously?” You asked as a laugh escaped your mouth. You watched bewildered as he moved off you and began reaching for your tote bag. 

“You don’t get to whisper things like that in that bikini while looking like a whole fantasy and expect me not to react.” He grumbled as he quickly began tossing things into your tote, quickly and carelessly packing away all of your things as you watched.

”Hyune-“ you called out to him and he quickly turned back to you staring at you with dilated pupils and a face that showed how affected he was by you and your words. When his eyes darted down to the towel underneath you you quickly scrambled off of it before he lunged for it to tug it out from under you.

”Nope. I’m packing up. We’re leaving.” He told you hurriedly. You stood there watching him move around you grabbing the rest of your things before jamming them into the bag.

”Are you really dragging me off the beach right now?” You asked in an incredulous tone that had he turning to you with a look of sinful determination even as deep blush sat high on his cheeks. He strode over to you and wrapped an arm low around your waist dragging you flush against him.

”I’m not about to get arrested for indecent exposure just because my girlfriend can’t stop being the hottest thing on this planet.” He husked out to you and warmth blossomed hot and heavy in your lower stomach. “Can you imagine the lecture I’d get from Chan?! You wouldn’t be safe either, he’d nag your ear off too.” He said knowingly as he began guiding you towards the parking lot where you had parked your car hours ago.

”You’re ridiculous.” You huffed at him as an amused smile slipped onto your face.

“And you’re dangerous.” He retorted quickly with a pointed look that had your face flushing brightly at the implied intention behind his words. He grabbed your hand and pulled you along as his pace quickened when you both spotted the edge of the sand where it met the asphalt of the parking lot.

Somewhere behind you, the waves kept rolling in and the sun kept burning bright, but for now, all either of you could think about was the heat simmering between the two of you, the sunscreen lingering on your skin, and the promise of privacy back at the vacation house.

[opiumwings]

prank’d — lara rajagopalan

– you pull a prank on lara, calling her your current gf – word count: 1081 words

pulling pranks used to come easily to you, but it was always different with lara. you could mess with your friends, your parents, even random strangers. but with her? one wrong look, one second of silence, and your whole chest would tighten. you only ever wanted lara to look at you with love. the idea of her being upset with you made you already want to crash out.

if you’d run the idea by anyone sane, they would've shut it down immediately. told you, straight-faced: “absolutely don’t do that unless you want to die.” you should’ve gone to sophia, or manon, or daniela. even yoonchae would've had more judgment.

but no, you went to megan. and of course megan was all in, practically begging you to commit to the bit, to actually say those cursed words.

now here you were, standing in front of the camera, trying to keep a straight face.

“so i was just grocery shopping today and got this idea to do a cooking video,” you said, gesturing to the ingredients spread across the counter. “you probably know her already, but for those who don’t—my current girlfriend, lara raj, will be helping me cook today.”

lara’s head whipped toward you so fast you could’ve sworn she gave herself whiplash. you kept your cool, casually naming off the ingredients, acting like nothing was wrong.

but before you could get through half the list, lara walked over and turned off the camera. 

you’d expected that. fortunately, you had a backup camera rolling from a different angle.

lara turned back to you slowly, too calmly. okay, now you were scared but you had to keep this prank going.

“are you okay, baby?” you asked with an exaggerated pout.

“i’m great,” she said, her smile painfully fake. “why wouldn’t i be?”

“um, because you just turned off my camera midway through filming,” you said, eyeing the now-black screen.

“i just felt like we needed a redo. i wasn’t feeling that take.”

“oh. that’s fine,” you said lightly. “you could’ve just said that.”

lara restarted the camera, pressing record. you redid your intro. this time, she was smiling big, and you knew exactly why. you weren’t backing down, though.

“and this is my current girlfriend, lara raj, who’ll be helping me cook today,” you said with the same cheerful tone.

lara turned to you, still smiling, but now with her eyes narrowed in warning.

“now i feel like you’re just fucking with me,” she said with a soft laugh. “or is that how you really feel?”

“lara, what’s wrong?” you asked, feigning confusion.

“i gave you a chance to correct yourself. apparently you just want to make me mad, which is wild considering we’re in a kitchen full of knives,” she said casually, glancing around.

“okay, baby, you’re gonna have to explain, because i genuinely don’t know what i did.”

“you called me your current girlfriend.”

“oh,” you said, blinking like it had genuinely slipped your mind. “my bad. didn’t mean to say that.”

“so it just slipped out, huh? must think that way a lot.”

“no! never,” you said quickly, shaking your head.

“then why are you making it sound like i’m temporary?”

“well... i mean... technically you are my current girlfriend,” you said, turning to the camera like it might protect you.

lara was on you in seconds, hands gently around your neck, her face barely an inch from yours.

“wanna say that again?” she asked sweetly.

you smiled, eyes drifting to her lips and back up. “i think that was really hot,” you whispered. “you’re literally the most beautiful person i know.”

“see, i don’t know if you actually mean that. right now, you should be apologizing, not flirting,” she narrowed her eyes. 

“i’m sorry. truly. i deeply apologize to the love of my life, lara raj. you’re the only girlfriend i ever want,” you grinned wider.

“mmhmm. much better,” she said, pressing a kiss to your lips before releasing your neck.

“although,” you added, “technically, nothing i said was wrong. you are my current girlfriend.”

“y/n, don’t play with me. i will fuck you up.”

“i’d probably like it,” you muttered.

“of course you would, freak,” lara muttered with a laugh, shaking her head.

“can we please cook now? i’m starving,” you said.

“actually... i feel like you should cook for me now. you owe me.”

“then what’s the point of the video?” you stared at her. 

“you got your prank, baby. that’s enough content.”

“but that wasn’t the main plan—”

“tell that to your next girlfriend,” she said with a smug grin.

“oh my god,” you groaned, rolling your eyes.

“and the food better be top tier. i want to feel changed by it,” she added.

“yes, baby,” you said obediently.

“and i want it plated nicely. no lazy presentation.”

“whatever you want.”

“you should even make dessert. i deserve the full package.”

you sighed, but nodded, smiling. might’ve been the scariest prank you ever pulled, but something about the way lara got worked up over you? it made you feel wanted. lara would never miss a chance to prove that to you.

“i really do love you, you know,” you said quietly.

lara’s expression softened in an instant. the shift from playful to sincere was immediate—you’re glad you have the same effect on her that she has on you.

“i love you too,” she said, smiling. “now hurry up and cook for your current girlfriend while you still have her.”

“stop. i only want you. forever,” you said, finally pulling out pots and pans to get started.

“if you really wanna make it up to me, you should let me shop while you’re cooking,” lara said.

“you can buy whatever you want with my card; i wouldn’t complain.”

“don’t say that unless you mean it,” she replied. “i will max it out.”

“it’s okay—i only make money to support you.”

“that’s cute,” lara said, smiling sweetly at you.

“while you’re at it,” you added, “you should buy us some couples outfits.”

“wait—that just gave me some ideas,” her eyes lit up. 

before you could ask what those ideas were, she was already up and heading to the bedroom, no doubt to grab her laptop... and probably your wallet.

once she was out of sight, you turned back to the cameras, did a quick outro, and ended both recordings.

honestly? you were scared for your life. but hey, you survived. that’s all you could really ask for.

[dissolved-g1rl]

kiss kiss fall in love! જ⁀➴ ♡

Bokuto really doesn’t understand why you get so flustered around him. Whenever he compliments you, you start sputtering and tripping over yourself. Or when he invited you to his game and you looked like you were two seconds away from crying. He’s seen you talk to other guys just fine, without the frazzled expression and jerky movements, maybe Akaashi is right, maybe he should lay off or something. The thought of not talking to you makes him sad, you’re so cute, and when you’re at ease you make him laugh, he’s wooed. Bokuto finds himself thinking about you at practice, when he works out, or when he’s feeling particularly alone on certain nights…. It’s often you’re wreaking havoc in his already hyper brain.

“Hey! Thanks for coming, I always play better with you around you know.” Bokuto rushes to you after his game, he’s dripping with sweat, his jersey sticks to his muscles, emphasizing his muscular physique. “Uh…yeah I got off work a little early so I figured it’d be okay…” You look away, handing him a small towel so that he can wipe his face at least, he has enough admirers already. “Thanks!” His fingers brush against yours, wiping his face and neck, looping the towel around his neck. “You need a ride home?” He asks, using his bottle to squirt water into his mouth, some drips out to his chin into his goatee, he wipes it away. “Um..you’re probably tired after all that…I can just call a cab or something.” You don’t think you can handle a whole car ride home with him. “Don’t be silly! It’s dark out! Plus what if your driver’s a creep? I’m fine.” He waves his hand “Okay…If it’s not too much trouble.” He smiles happily at your agreement “I’m gonna rinse off in the locker room, i’ll be quick promise!”

Bokuto has a extra pep in his step when he leaves the bleachers, his teammates give him funny looks. You watch as everyone else seems to trickle out of the gymnasium, you look at your shoes, nice high heels that don’t squeeze your toes so much. The two of you had gone to high school together, you didn’t think he’d noticed you, but then all of a sudden you started getting dms from him on social media, invites to his games. It had been nice to reconnect…Bokuto has always been nice you suppose. Never shoved your books out of your hands, never asked you on fake dates, never dumped water on you or stomped on your glasses. But he’s still a jock, you don’t know his intentions, you tell yourself that it’s better to exercise caution.

All those careful thoughts shoot our your brain like a stray breeze does to a stack of papers when he waltzes out wearing sweatpants and a dark compression shirt. Duffle bag slug over his shoulder, his hair is flat from his rinse. “Ready?” Bokuto smiles at you sweetly, spinning his car keys on his pointer finger, you nod, mindlessly following him to the lot. “Congrats on the win by the way..you played really well!” Your heels thud against the asphalt, he likes the steady click-clack. “Thanks.” Bokuto says puffing his chest out with pride, he’s really is like a bird, he preens with praise.

You follow him out to his car, a terrible decision most women come to regret. You’re being stupid and you know it, following a guy to his car just cause he has a nice back and big biceps, if you end up on the news you figure no one would blame you too harshly. You bet he’d even have a nice mugshot. You’re panicking again, often times too in your own head. Everyone says so, when you get that far off look and fidget with your fingers. Your brought back to reality when he gets his passenger side door for you, right, he’s a nice guy, maybe you should look into medication. “Thanks.” You say sheepish for reasons he doesn’t understand, “No problem!” He chirps anyways, he’s remembers seeing you eating alone with a distant expression back in high school, seems like it’s still prevalent even after all these years. He still finds it terribly endearing.

Bokuto lets you pick the music for the ride home, he doesn’t know if you realize you hum, he doesn’t tell you in fear of you stopping. “You have a nice place.” He hums appreciatively when he pulls up outside your home, “Thanks…my agency comps me with it.” You murmur, nervously fiddling with your fingers in his lap. “Wow! You must really be a big shot, like in that Christian Bale movie, ever seen it?” he puts his car in park, giving you his full attention, you are the complete opposite, instead of preening, you wilt. “Umm yeah, maybe a few years ago, it was nice.” You say with a sheepish laugh, butterflies erupt in his stomach. Has it really been that long that your awkwardness, of all things, is what gets him going these days? Probably. “Can I walk you to your door?” He blurts out, his cheeks reddish, it must be the light, no way someone like you could get Bokuto flustered…right… “Um sure!” You say just as graceless.

He’s coming around the car to your door, you push it open when he pulls, causing him to stumble, he regains his balance quickly. You both delve into apologies and then laugh. He offers you his hand, hoping he doesn’t see you wipe your sweaty palm dry, you accept. He steadies you so you don’t trip, it feels terribly romantic. “So ummm—hah i’m usually not so nervous.” He murmurs when you reach your welcome mat. “You think..I could take you out sometime? I always really liked you, I promised myself if I won tonight I wouldn’t wuss out on asking you.” He says in one big breath, hand squeezing yours, he’s looking at you with wide golden eyes and and mouth slightly parted. You feel shocked, he likes you? No way… You glance around, expecting someone to pop out of your bushes and take a picture at your stupid expression. “Uhh..are you expecting someone?” Bokuto looks where you are, getting confused. “What? Oh no! I mean Yes! I mean…no im not expecting anyone…yes to um..going out.” He smiles brightly at you, “Great!, I’ll pick you up! Akaashi told me about this really great restaurant i’ve been meaning to try.” He sounds relieved and you duck your chin to avoid his eagerness. “That sounds nice…” You murmur lightly digging your heel into the concrete, you look up and smile at him from underneath your eyelashes. Bokuto feels like all the air is sucked out of his body, he feels like a worm, he doesn’t deserve someones as gorgeous as you. Worst of all he doesn’t even think you realize it. How hot you set his skin, or how nervous you make him feel. “Good…” He was silent for too long, he forgot to speak and it earns him a small laugh.

“Umm Bokuto…” Your voice makes him hum in acknowledgement, he’s shocked when he feels you steal a kiss. A light peck on his mouth that goes as fast as it comes. “Goodnight!” You squeak, hurriedly heading inside, the door slams on his face before he can question what the hell just happened. He heads off with a dopey expression, heart beating out of his chest. God what a good night, he’s got a date with you, won his game, and he got a kiss. God, he thinks he’s in love.

dividers by @hyuneskkami

a/n: surgery went well! (thank you for the kind comments) im in recovery and felt good enough to write (i got bored hahah) so working on some requests later today! but for now enjoy cool guy athlete bokuto x ex classmate reader

[bewitched-hours]

Hello! Yeah me again asking abt the noli and 07 yandere thing (lord I feel weird asking again I don’t want to be a bother) It’s just the last one you wrote was really and I mean really WELL written and I was hoping to ask for a part 2 of how things go? Hacking together, speaking, debating life—just quite cool! I already sent you the link of the past one I was talking about so I hope thats alright!

HI- YEAH- I SAW IT LOL I only saw it at school tbf so I'm starting it with this and have the story opened in another tab to make sure I don't forget anything (•̀ᴗ•́)و ̑̑

The reader's pronouns are once again She/They-

Pre-Forsaken

All three of you sat on opposite sides of 007 as you looked at the child in his arms.

"It's kinda cute..." You tried to end the silence comfortably as you could see the man soften. Noli didn't look so tough either for a change.

Though the red bundle of joy was giddy now, you knew it was only a matter of time until it got hungry...

"What are we meant to do with it..?" Noli asked quietly, watching as the baby held onto 007's fingers with glee. It honestly melted your heart a bit.

"I say we keep it." You state bluntly, surprised eyes meeting your own as you went to quickly explain yourself. "Think about it. If we drop it off somewhere else it would probably reach the same path as us if it survives anyways."

The two of them gave each other an unsure look before you gently lifted the child out of 7n7's arms with a huff. "I'm not saying we'd be great parents or anything but it'd definitely be better than the foster system or death." Your tone was firm but they could tell you were empathising with that little red face giggling up at you.

Maybe you were trying to prove something to yourself. That you were better than your family? Maybe that you can actually take care of something meaningful?

Whatever, it wasn't like either of them could say no by the time you started cooing at the baby all motherly.

"Heh, guess you're right." 007 perked up first, getting you to smile a bit more.

Wether it was to make you happy or they actually liked the idea, you couldn't care less. What mattered was that this child was safe with you.

"We should totally call it after the c00lgui." You commented with a chuckle, having Noli cackling and 007 trying to suppress his laugh.

"Yeah- no- this is good- So c00lkidd?" He suggested, letting out a laugh at your grinning nod. It was silly, it was unusual...

It was perfect.

"It'll be the perfect addition! Plus, I have some experience back when I had a babysitting gig to save up some money as a kid myself. We'll just need to get a few things and c00lkidd is gonna be spoiled with love!" You practically beamed and placed a gentle kiss on the little one's head, going back to cooing at it as it giggled in your arms.

Being a family might just be easier than you thought...

Post-Forsaken

For once, 007 probably appreciated being an outsider.

It meant more time with you. More time with Noli.

You were quick to figure out a spot to all meet in where neither killers nor survivors would even hear you.

It was perfect, especially whenever Noli decided to bring along c00lkidd and you could just talk for a while.

CK loved you. He loved the idea of having a big family like this where you could be his mom. You played nice and fair and actually managed to tire him out at times.

Though he didn't understand why it was such a taboo to play tag outside of rounds, he trusted your explanation that it was because it was less fun with only you four and the other survivors wouldn't be willing to listen to you or 007.

And CK knew the other killers were even less willing so...

But you'd always promise that once you get back home, you'll be the best mother to c00lkidd. And he took it as a good promise to make before saying his goodbyes and waiting for the next round.

You were committed to being the mother c00lkidd needed and the 'wife' that 007n7 and Noli deserved...

A bit disappointed with how this turned out but I tried my best-

Anything you'd like to request/ask? Check out my pinned post first and I'll be happy to write up whatever you want!

[noctiva]

okay but how would the guys react to the reader breaking up with them?

aha! the flip side!

Toby: Goes through four stages of grief in the span of like, ten minutes. everything except for acceptance. he won’t ever truly accept it. it could be literal years later and he’d still be dreaming of you, still touching himself to the thought of you.

the day it actually happens, he’ll try to play it off at first. hit you with a ‘th-that’s not fuckin’ funny’ with a soft snort and a roll of his eyes. like you being serious wasn’t even an option. but of course, you’ll insist - and that’s when the dam breaks.

first comes the anger. his eyes sharpening into a glare as his jaw sets. accusatory in every word he spits at you. throwing every single thing that he’s every done for you back in your face. glossing over everything he’s ever done wrong. hoping that maybe you’ll fight back - maybe you two can just get into another fight like you always do, and end up tangled up together in his sheets by the time night falls.

but that doesn’t happen. you just take it. just listen silently as you pack your things - already detached. and that’s when it really sets in. the anger will simmer, and then he’s apologizing profusely. offering up things he can’t even give you, all in the hopes of changing your mind. and when that doesn’t work? he just breaks. a mess of ugly sobs and hands trying to pull you to him. pleading. begging. borderline grovelling at your feet.

you’ll leave him a mess of tears. he probably won’t move from his spot on the floor for hours. days maybe.

- “W-What do you want? What can I d-do to make you stay? Just name it - I’ll g-give it to you.”

-

Jack: Just so incredibly cold. Like the moment you utter the words, every ounce of affection he held for you fizzled into smoke. You can practically see it when the switch in his brain flips, how his entire body tenses up, how his lips set into a firm line. He won’t say anything for a good long while. He’ll just stand before you, waiting, like he’s giving you a chance to take it back.

‘Jack? Did you hear what I said?’ To which he’ll just reply with a snippy; ‘I heard you.’ And barely elaborate further.

He won’t let you in. Won’t let you pry into his mind in an attempt to figure out how he feels about all of it. He’ll keep it all locked far deep down, under a shroud of bitter nonchalance. If you didn’t know him better, you’d almost think he didn’t care - but the slight tremble in his fingers proves that otherwise.

He won’t fight you. He knows better than that. Though he loved you to the ends of the earth, he knew he wouldn’t be able to continue on with you after this. Knowing that you don’t wholeheartedly want to be with him.

He’ll leave silently. Give you short, simple answers to every question you ask. Leave you second guessing if this was even the right decision at all.

- “What? Did you want me to scream? Beg? Cry? I’m not giving you that satisfaction.”

-

Brian: Horribly toxic. Blackmail supreme over here. You sit him down, tell him you want to break up with him, and the first thing he’s saying is, ‘are you sure you want to do that? with all the shit I have on you?’

And you know he’s right. He has drawers full of tapes depicting you in the most compromising positions known to man. Taken with the promise that they’d only be for his eyes. But, that was on the basis that you’d stick around. He’ll be patronizing, cruel, dangling this threat over your head with a raised eyebrow - daring you to have the guts to still go through with it.

Promising you that no one else will ever want to be with you after him. A little too calm, a little too composed. Like he’s so sure deep down that you’ll cave under the weight of what he’s saying and just roll over.

But if you don’t? If you hold your ground? You can just barely see him crack. A little twitch in his jaw, his gaze hardening over. The way his eyes flick away from you like he just can’t the sight of you any longer. He’ll freeze over until you gain the courage to pack up and leave. All that confidence lost, swapped for a silent resignation.

Won’t say a single thing to you on your way out the door.

(And he probably won’t actually make true on his threats, he was just really banking on that working).

- “Fine. Leave. See where it gets you.”

-

Tim: Just resigned acceptance. He saw it coming from the start, never really expecting you two to be in it for the long haul. He hoped that maybe you’d go against the odds, but he was smarter than to bank on that. Your life didn’t mix with his. He took a risk letting you in. He had set himself up, and he knew it.

It’s his shoulders slumping. His expression dropping. The slight quiver when he lets out a deep sigh and lets his eyes flutter closed for a moment like he’s trying to shut it all out. He doesn’t ask why, because he knows why. It’s everything about him. And he’d rather spare himself the burden of hearing that fact come from your lips.

He’ll be silent for a good long while. Reach into his coat pocket with trembling fingers, pull out his pack of smokes, light one and take a few drags before he speaks a word. And when he does, it’s just all apologies.

Apologies for dragging you into this in the first place. Apologies for wasting your time. For getting your hopes up. For making you believe that you could be the cure for everything that plagues him.

He won’t look at you the entire time, because he just knows he’ll break - and he doesn’t want to burden you with that too.

- “‘Bout time you smartened up. Always knew you deserved someone better.”

-

Cody: Really doesn’t know how to handle it - and maybe that was the issue all along. His good with the physical aspect of humans. The blood, the flesh, the chemical reactions. What he’s not good at, is the mind. The emotions. The inner workings of relationships, and person to person connection. He really tried with you, broke out of his shell in an attempt to let you have that closeness you craved.

It feels like an insult to have it thrown back in his face. He’s not upset, he’s offended, a silently brewing anger simmering in his veins with every word you speak. It just feels like he wasted so much time. Put in so much effort into something that ultimately proved fruitless. Like a failed experiment, but this time it affects him deeply. Like you were taking one of his limbs with you when you left him.

Asks you so many questions it makes your head spin. Why are you leaving him? What specific thing did he do? What could he have done better? Do you really truly believe there’s nothing that can fix this? Why are you giving up? Why don’t you want to try?

He’ll let you leave. He won’t beg and plead, but he will borderline interrogate you before he stalks back to his lab and shuts himself in there for the next week and a half.

- “All that time wasted. Such a needless distraction.”

-

Habit: Laughs in your fucking face. Cruel and mocking. Near doubles over with it. The type of laughter that absolutely stuns you, with the way he wheezes and cackles, wipes a tear from his eye and shakes his head like you’ve just performed a comedy special for him.

To him, you have. Because that’s fucking rich. You leaving him? As if you had that choice. It’s comical to him how you’d even entertain that thought, that you thought it might just be as easy as showing him the door and expecting him to walk through it. It’s not happening. Not by a long shot.

In fact, when you call him cruel, he’ll show you just exactly how cruel you can be. You hate him now? Let’s see how much you hate him when he chains you to the bed and leaves you there. Chuckling under his breath about how stupid you are. How you should’ve just kept your mouth shut, and appreciated the fact that he was being easy on you this whole time.

So, no. You will not be breaking up with him. This relationship ends on his terms, and his terms only.

- “That’s cute. You think you get to make that choice?”

[fluffyfluffytime]

Look Up In The Sky! Is It A Bird? Is It A Plane? No It's... (Part 2) | Bob Reynolds x fem!Reader

Chapter summary: How Bob is handling the aftermath of the rejection.

Author's Note: I'm quite surprised how well-received part 1 was. I’m sorry part 2 took so long, I did a complete 180 with the draft. Anyways, if you would like to be in the taglist, let me know, I'll add you

Part 1

The team weren’t always the type of people who needed breakfast. However, given that they were gone for a month, where meals were sporadic, it was nice to a relatively normal eating schedule. Ava silently chewed on her cereal, with sleep in her eyes– enjoying sleeping in for once. Next to her sat John, who sat slouched while devouring his traditional American breakfast of eggs and bacon. Across from him, Bucky who sat upright while quietly flipping through today’s newspaper, his coffee half empty as an article caught his eye. Across the room, Alexei loomed over the pot on the stove, wearing an apron that said ‘kiss the chef’ and humming some russian song. A calm morning given the rambunctious group.

The quiet broke with the soft hiss of the door opening. Yelena strode on, her hair a mess– given she too had decided to sleep in, and made a beeline for the fridge 

“Bob’s not in the mood for breakfast”, she announced, grabbing the orange juice and letting the fridge door swing shut.

A chorus of groans followed

“He seriously needs to get over it,” John muttered, stabbing his eggs with unnecessary force. 

“He said he’ll go on walk, said it will help clear his head” Yelena replied, twisting off the cap and pouring it into a glass “But that’s probably bullcrap. He’s gone 20 walks this week”

Alexei let out a deep chuckle from the stove, “Don’t worry. When he comes back I give him cure for broken heart” he said, adding a pinch of salt into the stove.

Yelena leaned over, peering into the contents of the pot, face scrunched. “Is that suppose to be Ukha?”

“Yes”

“And exactly where is the fish?”

“Ehhh… had no time for market” He responded, “So I double everything else for replacement”

John raised a brow “How is a fishless fish stew supposed to help him?”

“Because I put extra of this,” Alexei lifted a bottle high, the overhead light causing it to shine like a gemstone

Ava squinted at it, her face morphed to an unimpressed expression at the realization of what it was “Vodka? Seriously?”

“What… it will make his heart burst,” Alexei declared, striking a fist across his chest. “With flame re-started, he will find passion with other woman”

Yelena, now settled at the table, next to Bucky, with her breakfast and a glass of orange juice, rolled her eyes. “With that soup, you’d probably give him actual heartburn”

“Actually,” Bucky muttered, not looking up from his newspaper, “with the serum, alcohol wouldn’t even affect him”

“At least I am trying to lift Moody Boy’s spirit,” Alexei huffed, giving the soup a stir “You people complain complain complain”

John waved his fork. “He got his heart broken by a crush, not his wife. He’ll live”

“Are you speaking from experience” Ava raised an eyebrow, with a little smug look on her face.

John paused mid chew. “What? No– shut up”

“I say we hunt down that waitress”, Yelena offered, only half-joking.

“With you on her trail”, Ava replied dryly, “she better start counting her day”

John dropped his fork, dragging a hand down his face. “Not this again,” he groaned, letting out an exasperated sigh. “She did nothing wrong”

“She did hurt Bob,” Ava said between chews of her cereal

“His feelings. It's not like she skinned him”

“She could’ve been nicer,” Yelena chimed in, arms crossed as she leaned back in her chair

John pointed a finger, jabbing it in their direction. “You two are both hypocrites”

“We are not”  “This is different”

“Yes.You.Are” John jabbed the table. “Apparently ‘no means no’ doesn’t apply to a nice, awkward guy”

Yelena rolled her eyes. “She gave him mixed signals. She was practically flirting with him”

“She’s a waitress, Lena! Of course, she’s gonna be nice. She works off tips,” John snapped, “Unbelievable. You two have never worked in the service industry, so you don’t get a say in this.”

“She could have been nicer”, Yelena muttered

“How much nicer do you want her to be?” John shot back. “She was honest. She told him why she said no– which by the way, she didn’t even have to do”

Yelena rolled her eyes. “Bucky, come on. Back us up”

Without looking up from the newspaper, Bucky grunted, “I’m too old for dating dilemmas”

John pushed his chair back and stood up. “You know what? I don’t think the problem is her– it’s you”

Yelena scoffed, clearly offended by the insinuation “Me?” 

“Yes, you” John pointed. “You treat Bob like he’s some helpless kid. Newsflash– he’s a grown man. He doesn’t need to be coddled”

“I do no such thing” Yelena fired back “Unlike you, I watch out for people I care about”

Bucky sighed, finally looking upfrom the paper “Okay, break it up, you two”

John ignored him “No. No, no, no, she needs to–”

He was cut of by a faint rumble, it hummed beneath the floor. Barely noticeable, just enough to make the surface of Bucky’s coffee ripple.

Everyone paused. Eyes darted. Not a single word uttered

Then came another wave– this one stronger. The floor gave a light shudder, and a few utensil clinked against their plates

Ava first to break the silence. “...You guys feel that too, right?”

Alexei, with the bottle of vodka gripped in his hands, tense. “Is it an earthquake?”

John braced himself against the table “Doesn’t feel like it”

Just then, everyone’s phone buzzed in unison. One by one, screens lit up with a red notification.

EMERGENCY ALERT 

An evacuation warning has been issued in your area. Remain vigilant of any threats and be ready to evacuate. Gather loved ones, pets and supplies. Continue to monitor local weather, news and the webpage

Yelena scoffed, “As if that answers our question ”

Bucky’s phone rang. Without a word, he stood, sauntered to the side and answered, his expression tense. “Mel?”

There was a long pause on the other end. Judging by the way Bucky furrowed his brows and tightened his jaw, whatever Mel was saying wasn’t good.

“Seriously?” He asked, his voice clipped and his shoulders square. “Put Valentina on the phone”

“You made us the new Avengers,” he said quietly, but clearly on edge, given how hard he gripped his phone. “So let us handle this”

He lets out a sigh when the call ends. Lowering his phone with deliberate slowness. His jaw was squared. He looked at the others “Everyone, suit up. Manhattan is under attack”

Yelena shot up, eyes wide “Bob! He went out for a walk”

The room froze.

—

 Bob wasn’t really sure where he was going. He’d been walking aimlessly for the past half hour, hands in his pockets, head down.

 The warmth of the morning sun did feel nice against his skin, but it did little to thaw the cold pit in his chest. He knew he shouldn’t be too bent over a rejection, you had every right to turn him down. But it wasn’t just the prospect of a romantic relationship that got him down. Outside of the tower, you were the closet thing he had to a friend.

The two of you would talk about the latest book, show or movie consumed. He was always interested hearing your opinion on it, even if they were horrible. 

You’d also gotten to the point where he told you more about his personal struggles, albeit he did leave some stuff out. Surprisingly, it felt good telling you, even though all you did was listen, like a weight had been lifted off his chest

 He loved hearing more about you. The shenanigans you got up to as a kid from the country side reminded him of the main character in a book her read as a child. The story that got him laughing the hardest was the one where you tried sneaking in Betsy, your favourite cow, into the house

In his world of tragic backstory, spies, missions and experimental procedure. You were the normalcy he didn’t know he craved. It was refreshing

 Stopping in his track he realized, maybe he should just head back. Instead of lifting his spirit, his mind kept wondering back to you. He couldn’t stand the ache echoing in his ribs.

Then–

He felt it. A faint rumble beneath his feet 

Bob paused. It was subtle. Barely noticeable. Looking around, people seemed unbothered. Was it just him who felt this

But then it came again– stronger this time. The vibration made the storefront window hum and loose pebbles skitter across the pavement. People stopped walking and looked around. Alright so it wasn’t just him.

A military trucked tore past the intersection ahead, followed by another. A helicopter roared overhead, the sounds of it’s blade chopping through the air. Sirens began to scream in the distance.

Bob turned, confused– just then his phone buzzed violently in his pocket. Pulling it out, he was met with a notification

EMERGENCY ALERT 

He stood there, blinking at the screen. Around him, the street had erupted into chaos—people running, yelling, trying to reach their cars or get underground. The world was spinning too fast. He didn’t register the police officer yelling at him until the man grabbed his arm.

“Sir, you need to evacuate—now!”

Bob nodded automatically.

He started running with the crowd, feet pounding the pavement. His phone buzzed again—this time a call. Probably one of the team.

He fumbled for it, but a sharp bump from someone behind him knocked it from his hand. It clattered to the ground.

“Shit–!”

He dove to grab it, but another person crashed into him, then another. Then he realized— the crowd was changing direction

That’s when he saw it,

In the distance, looming above the buildings, it’s armored legs crunching down onto the cars– piercing though it like tin can. It was a massive scorpion

The stinger looked modified, turned into a canon given that it glowed blue. With a shriek it fired a beam of raw energy down the street. Taking down the line of tanks and soldier that just arrived. 

It shrieked once more, it’s stinger arched and aimed. This time shooting at the rooftop of the building he was standing next to. Bob threw his arms up, expecting to be crushed by falling rubble–

But it never came.

No pain. No impact 

Just wind

He opened his eyes. 

For a split second, he thought he was dead. Instead of being buried beneath rubble, he was surrounded by clouds. Feeling the cool wind on his face, he felt weightless

Then, a flicker of dread crawled up is spine. Wait, he’s felt like this before, at the vault. 

No. No, no, no–

Had the Sentry taken over?

He squirmed, heart pounding fast.

That’s when the grip around him tightened, he realized that he was cradled securely in someone’s arm.

Then he looked up. 

His breath hitched at the very sight of her. Her (y/c/h) hair whipped wildly against the wind. Her (y/c/e) eye were mesmering but they were rimmed red.

A single tear rolled down her cheek.

“I didn’t know angels could cry,” Bob uttered, his voice hoarse.

The woman blinked, startled for a moment. Then broke out into a smile, like relief had washed over her. “Are you okay?”

Bob could only nod back, throat too tight to speak. Still, mostly confuse with the situation– not really sure if he was ascending to the afterlife or not. 

“Good” she sighed in relief, eyes scanning ahead. 

Moments later, she touched down on the roof of a building, far away from the chaos. There were already people gathered, most covered in dirt and dusk– likely other civilians she’d rescued.

“You should be safe here.” She said as she let him down gently.

Before Bob could thank her, she was gone– a streak of blue and red vanishing into the sky, heading back to the chaos.

Bob stood frozen, breath shallow, the imprint of her hand still lingering around him.

Who was that?

---

Taglist: @yagurlannastasia @yyiikes @one17 @abbyrxx @hiraethmae @msfirth @cherrypieyourface

[olderthannetfic]

I recently saw a post about people who genuinely believe they are too revolting to be dated, liked, be befriended, whatever. Not incels or antisocial by nature people, but people who have just had such terrible experiences socially since they were young, that they can't ever imagine themselves being good enough to actually be liked. People who reject the idea that anyone could be interested them platonic and romantic. Imagining that someone might be attracted to them causes second hand embarrassment and a deep feeling of cringe at even just the idea. Looking at pictures or videos of yourself causes revulsion, and mental crisis.

I realized that I'm one of these people. It just sucks because it's such an ingrained part of my psyche.

--

Funny when it's Groucho Marx. Shitty when it's how you have to live.

Get therapy. Not in the internet insult sense: in the sense that there are actually professionals who specialize in this sort of thing.

If you can't access one, you can at least start with that practice where you cut off negative thoughts consciously throughout the day. Basically, you pretend you're talking about someone else and go "Would you talk about your friend that way?" It feels artificial and bizarre at first, but it seems to work a lot better than one would think.

This isn't your true underlying personality, dude: it's a deeply entrenched bad habit like smoking, and—like smoking—it's probably a shitty coping mechanism for something or other. Also like smoking, it will be hard to quit, but people do succeed.

[ashonheavenscloud]

p1harmony members when you don’t say “i love you” back

warnings: none!

a/n: requested! enjoy <3

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

☆ keeho:

do NOT pull this stunt on keeho. he will be so offended and flabbergasted and he’ll immediately call it out. he says it quite often but always waits for your response. sometimes he might even say “i love you” first just to hear you say it back. so when you don’t respond as usual, instead just pecking him and walking away, he has to take a few seconds to recover from his shock.

he calls out to you, “what was that?” “what was what?” “what do you mean what was what, you didn’t say it back!”

waits in hopes that you’ll say it back now that he’s pointed it out—and will bother you to say it. if you’re stubborn enough not to give in, he’ll roll his eyes. “i see how it is. it’s fine, don’t say it then.” will act petty until you apologize or finally say the words he’s looking for.

will probably pretend to hold a grudge for a while after. makes you promise not to do it again, even if it was just a prank. is overall very dramatic about the whole thing. “you’re gonna have to say you love me every hour today to make up for what you put me through.”

☆ theo:

when theo says i love you, he doesn’t take it lightly. as someone who typically saves such words for special or intimate occasions, having you practically ignore him baffles him. when he comes behind you cooking and softly says “i love you,” your lack of response throws him completely for a loop.

stands there blinking for a second, wondering if you are too focused on cooking (but you’re just stirring) or didn’t hear him (even though his mouth is right next to your ear). cue more confused blinking as he waits for a delayed “i love you” back and doesn’t get one.

eventually his curiosity and confusion get the better of him. “did you hear me?” when you nod, he just stares at you. and doesn’t stop, even when you laugh. “theo, what are you doing?” more staring. you’ve broken him.

when you finally explain the prank, he comes to life again, exasperated. “ya! it’s not funny!” despite his show of annoyance he’s smiling, relieved it was just a dumb joke. goes back to normal the second you say i love you, with a kiss for good measure. “that’s what i thought.”

☆ jiung:

when jiung mumbles “i love you” into your ear while you’re cuddling in bed in the morning, he doesn’t think too much about it at first. he never really expects you to say it in return, he mostly just says it because it’s what’s on his mind rather than for a reaction or response. however, when he repeats the words later when you’re saying goodnight, and you still don’t say it back, he begins to feel like something is off.

immediately jumps to worrying. is something wrong? are you upset with him? or just upset in general? this isn’t like you at all, especially not twice. he waits for a couple minutes in case you bring it up, but when you don’t, he gently approaches the subject.

“is everything okay?” “yeah, of course! why?” “i don’t know, you just didn’t say i love you back earlier, and then again right now…”

he looks so genuinely concerned for you that you drop the act quickly and tell him that it’s just a prank. his worry melts away and he groans dramatically. “seriously? i thought something was wrong!” feels a little ridiculous for falling for it, but is good natured and laughs at himself. with his concerns eased, he repeats his goodnight, smiling when you, at last, say “i love you” too.

☆ intak:

intak LOVES saying i love you and LOVES hearing it from you, too, it makes him so giddy. so he notices it immediately when you don’t say it back when he kisses you before leaving for work in the morning. spends the entire day thinking about it, replaying the moment and trying to understand why you didn’t say it back. is both dumbfounded and anxious. did he upset you? are you mad? cannot fathom why you wouldn’t say it back unless something is wrong.

his concern would quickly turn into feeling kind of hurt and bummed about it. when he gets home, it would be obvious that something was bothering him by his posture and distractedness. you can practically see the gears turning in his head as he ruminates, constantly glancing at you with those inquisitive puppy eyes as you eat dinner like nothing happened.

doesn’t know how to bring it up and just goes kind of quiet, mind still trying to work out what to do and how to figure this out. while washing dishes, he’ll gather up his courage and gently ask you if there’s anything wrong. when you tell him no, of course not, he’s even more confused and worried.

he wouldn’t catch on ever and would just continue to sadly mull over your lack of response in his head so you’d have to tell him yourself that it was a prank. when you do, he practically melts into a puddle with relief. “oh my god, i thought i did something wrong, but i couldn’t figure out what-” will be extra clingy and will demand lots of kisses and “i loves yous” to make him feel better after being stressed about it the whole day

☆ soul:

in my head, soul doesn’t verbally say “i love you” all that often, preferring to save the words for special occasions and intimate moments. so when you don’t say it back, he takes it personally. will literally stare at you, waiting for you say it back

when you walk away instead, he stands in spot for a few stunned moments before following you. and staring again. and if you move again, he trails behind you, eyes practically burning holes in your head while he waits for you to give him the response he’s looking for.

after shifting locations three or four times, you are forced to acknowledge him with a laugh. “what?” “you didn’t say it back.” “what?” “i love you. you didn’t say it back.”

when you shrug and go back to what you were doing, it dawns on him that you’re probably looking for a reaction by pulling a prank. decides to make every effort to put you through hell until you confess your sins LMAO will poke your arm, get all in your space, continually demand you say it back until you finally give in and say it. and then you’re immediately forgiven. he kisses your forehead and goes back to whatever he was doing before like nothing happened, smiling to himself that he beat you at your own game

☆ jongseob:

please don’t ever ever ever do this to jongseob he will be STRESSED. he’s very conscious of the words “i love you” and the weight behind them and makes a point to say them to you at least once a day. when you’re curled up in bed together doing your own things, he gently kisses your cheek and says it.

when you hum in response instead of saying it back, he immediately loses his ability to think of anything else for the rest of the day. will play it off as nothing because he rationalizes that it’s not really a big deal. internally, he’s overthinking like nobodys business. why didn’t you say it back? were you just not feeling it? distracted? upset? maybe you’ve just reached that point in your relationship where you don’t feel the need to say it back every time. but you’ve never done that. are you upset with him? spirals. literally zones out and spirals.

later, he’ll make it more intentional: “you know i love you, right?” when you nod, he frowns. “okay, i’m not overthinking this, right?”

when you tell him it’s a prank, he sighs with relief and a bit of fond exasperation. “i was so stressed...” honestly finds it funny now that he’s not stressed about it, but will be a little petty for the bit. eventually just rolls his eyes, and relents with a “c’mere,” kissing you and telling you not to do something like that again for the sake of his well being

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

p1harmony masterlist

navigation

[rotagnus]

who has a crush on youuuu. . . [pick a pile!]

some specific person from your lifee!!! i'll try to describe each energy w/ specifics that may not apply to each person...i will specify when this is! enjoy. as always, if this does not resonate; do not force it to. i may not be the tarot reader for you.

guys i'm so excited for summer! i can already tell i'll be in my introspective era and i'll be trying to heighten my senses and my time more to spirituality, so i will most likely be more active on here, especially between mid-july and mid-august.

p1.

this person tries to be nonchalant and they fail, most of the time...the only time they're trying to be CHALANT is when they come off as nonchalant. all around, they're a huge weirdo, but i mean that in an endearing way. genuine. has hobbies. has a life outside of work/school. may be in the beauty/entertainment business or simply have interests in those spheres...think soundcloud rappers (💀💀💀), aestheticians, dancers, people who practice singing/dancing, music lovers, etc. they're very invested in whatever they love. deeply loyal. not so self-aware, though. they contrast you because they're not necessarily on a constant journey to better themselves, and they go with the flow. in their opinion, life lessons come regardless of if you look for them or not. they want that old-school kinda love, if you know what i'm hearing. they have fashion from a specific decade, too; they're all about nicheness. you won't catch them changing styles very often 'cause they know what they like (YOU 🫵🫵). they're not in the middle of anything...on extreme sides of spectrum. so think either really long hair or really short hair, really dark eyes or really light eyes, etc. they may have light skin, though. as for personality, they're very controlling, not necessarily in a bad way...but they hate seeing people do shit that's worth NOTHING when they know they can do better. they're deeply loyal and a bit egotistic, so i'm definitely getting fire sign. but they probably don't believe in spirituality, astrology, etc. but they may have a deep faith in one of the abrahamic faiths is what i'm hearing.

p2.

artsy and obsessed with being special. this person hates being like anyone else and may do things to stand out on purpose...like have a unique physical appearance, or they may have been the funny kid way back in your high school years. they are actively healing their need for attention though. they didn't grow up privileged or rich, or with a silver spoon in their mouth. but when they were young, they had big ass dreams. if anyone knows the song 'eastside' by halsey n benny blanco, this is them vibes. they literally clawed their way out of pain and came out stronger, so they do know how to be humble. if they have high opinions of certain aspects of themselves, it's because they know that they're worth all that. they are willing to do anything to get what they want, but with people? they struggle with connections. they have a very empathetic mind, but they may view relationships as something analytical from childhood. looks wise, i believe they have darker hair, short-medium length, probably styled a specific memorable way. they might be fussy about the way that their face looks, so obsessed with skincare n stuff. they are risktakers. they don't play around and this person is genuinely obsessed with striving forwards. they probably grew up with parents that told them to work hard, and that's exactly what they did. they are relentless optimists. may not be good at saving money. obsessed with underground tiktok trends. people may think that they're hard to be around but if they truly like someone, they become to most lovable person in the world.

p3

this person is literally on fire. nothing about them is calm. well, on the inside, anyways. they may come off as guarded and cool, but there's always something going on in their life. they're very determined people and would do anything for love, and they may have sought it out in ways that ended up hurting them, i.e through sex, drugs, money, hobbies that are physically/mentally harmful. they've been betrayed and backstabbed several times throughout their life. what they like about you is that the version of you they have in their head contrasts them...they think you're completely pure and innocent, that your energy is entirely sweet. they have mommy issues. however, they can be real gentle with people that they like. probably because they don't want that to be reciprocated, because they're very guarded and they wanna love and NOT be loved. something about them physically is bright. their eyes may carry a lot of emotion, or there's one specific physical aspect that stands out from the rest. other than that, i think they blend in. they don't try to stand out because they do, enough as it is. they're a good friend and they stick to their little circle. they also have a good gut sense throughout life, and may use this rather than devote themselves to a specific faith/way of living. they can be prideful. good at the things they do, but they always feel like they're never good ENOUGH at those. suffer from anxiety. this person makes or breaks their life; even though they want somebody to save them, the only one who can is themselves.

[mbruben-stein]

Okay so it decided to post the request before I got the chance to finish it. So can I please get the AOT veterans with their s/o being the doctor of the scouts? Like their poor s/o has to work overtime trying to keep them from falling apart.

AOT characters dating s/o who is the doctor of the Scouts would include.

~Eren~

Eren would experience a constant internal battle between immense pride and crushing worry when it comes to his doctor S/O. On one hand, he deeply admires their dedication and skill, watching with quiet awe as they work tirelessly to patch up wounded scouts and save lives that might otherwise be lost. Their steady hands and calm demeanor in crisis situations would remind him why he fell for them in the first place. However, this admiration would be overshadowed by his protective instincts going into overdrive. Every time he sees them rushing between patients, blood on their clothes and exhaustion etched into their features, his heart would clench with the familiar fear of losing someone precious to him.

His guilt complex would reach new heights knowing that his own reckless behavior directly contributes to their workload. Each time he returns from a mission with injuries, seeing the worry flash across their face before they slip into professional mode would eat away at him. Eren would start becoming almost obsessively careful about minor wounds, trying to treat cuts and bruises himself before they could notice, not wanting to add to their burden. He'd probably hover anxiously whenever they're treating other scouts, torn between wanting to help and knowing he'd just be in the way. The sight of them working late into the night, struggling to save a comrade's life, would trigger his deep-seated helplessness and make him question whether his presence in their life brings more pain than joy.

Despite his worry, Eren would become fiercely protective of his S/O's wellbeing in ways that might sometimes border on overbearing. He'd make sure they eat regular meals, practically forcing food into their hands between patients. When he notices them pushing themselves too hard, he wouldn't hesitate to physically carry them away from their work for mandatory rest, despite their protests about patients needing care. His own disregard for his safety would create tension, as they'd constantly worry about him while trying to focus on other patients. Eren would struggle with the irony of wanting to protect someone whose job it is to run toward danger to help others.

The relationship would fundamentally change how Eren approaches missions and combat. Knowing that his S/O would be the one treating wounded comrades would make every expedition feel more personal and urgent. He'd find himself fighting not just for humanity's freedom, but to ensure fewer people end up on his partner's operating table. In quieter moments, he'd be incredibly gentle with them, understanding better than most the weight they carry. He'd become their anchor when the losses become too much to bear, holding them when they break down after losing a patient, and reminding them of all the lives they've saved when they doubt their abilities.

~Mikasa~

Mikasa would initially struggle with the constant worry that comes from watching her s/o work tirelessly to save the lives of their fellow soldiers. Every time she returns from a mission, bloodied and battered alongside her comrades, she witnesses firsthand the toll it takes on her partner - the exhaustion etched into their features, the way their hands sometimes shake after particularly difficult surgeries, the quiet moments when they think no one is looking and allow the weight of lost lives to show on their face. Despite her own physical and emotional wounds, Mikasa finds herself more concerned about her s/o's wellbeing than her own injuries, often downplaying her own pain to avoid adding to their already overwhelming workload.

Her protective instincts would manifest in subtle but meaningful ways throughout their relationship. Mikasa would make it her personal mission to ensure her s/o eats regular meals, often bringing them food during their long shifts and sitting quietly beside them while they work late into the night. She'd learn to recognize the signs of her partner pushing themselves too hard and would gently but firmly insist they take breaks, sometimes physically guiding them away from their medical supplies to rest. When her s/o inevitably protests about having too much work to do, Mikasa would simply state that they can't save others if they don't take care of themselves first - a lesson she's learned through her own experiences of nearly losing herself to grief and exhaustion.

The sight of her s/o's dedication would fill Mikasa with a complex mixture of pride and anguish. She deeply admires their commitment to preserving life in a world that seems determined to destroy it, seeing in them the same fierce determination that drives her own need to protect others. However, she also recognizes the parallel between her s/o's overwhelming sense of responsibility for every soldier's life and her own desperate need to keep Eren and Armin safe. This understanding creates a deeper bond between them, as Mikasa realizes that her partner carries the same heavy burden of caring too much in a world that offers little mercy to those who fight to save others.

During the quieter moments between expeditions, Mikasa would become her s/o's sanctuary just as they serve as the scouts' lifeline. She'd wrap her red scarf around both of them during cold nights, holding her partner close while they decompress from the day's losses and victories. In these intimate moments, Mikasa would allow herself to be vulnerable, sharing her own fears about losing the people she loves while listening to her s/o's struggles with the impossible task of trying to heal everyone. Their relationship would become a mutual source of strength, with Mikasa providing the emotional support and grounding her partner needs to continue their vital work, while her s/o offers her a different perspective on what it means to fight for others - not just through violence, but through healing and hope.

~Armin~

Armin deeply admired his partner's unwavering dedication to keeping the Scout Regiment alive, though it filled him with a complex mixture of pride and concern. He understood better than most the weight of responsibility that came with protecting others, and he recognized the same selfless determination in his s/o that he saw in commanders like Erwin Smith. Their medical expertise was invaluable to the regiment's survival, and Armin often found himself marveling at their quick thinking during emergencies and their ability to remain calm under pressure. However, his analytical mind also picked up on the subtle signs of exhaustion—the slight tremor in their hands after particularly difficult surgeries, the way their shoulders sagged when they thought no one was looking, and the dark circles under their eyes that seemed to deepen with each expedition.

His protective instincts, usually reserved for Eren and Mikasa, extended fiercely to his partner, though he struggled with how to help without overstepping boundaries. Armin would quietly observe their work patterns, mentally cataloging when they skipped meals or worked through the night, and he'd devise small but strategic interventions. He'd bring them carefully timed cups of tea, sit with them during brief breaks to provide silent companionship, or offer to help organize their medical supplies—anything to ease their burden without interfering with their crucial work. His naturally empathetic nature made him acutely aware of the emotional toll their job took, especially when they lost patients despite their best efforts, and he became expert at recognizing when they needed space to process their grief versus when they needed comfort.

Armin's tactical mind proved invaluable in supporting his s/o's medical practice, as he'd often help them strategize about resource allocation, patient triage, and efficient treatment protocols. He understood that their work required the same kind of calculated decision-making that he applied to military strategy, though the stakes were measured in lives rather than territory. During quiet moments between expeditions, he'd listen intently as they discussed challenging cases or new medical techniques they wanted to try, offering thoughtful questions and observations that helped them think through problems. His ability to remain level-headed during crises also made him an ideal assistant during medical emergencies, following their instructions precisely while keeping other panicked soldiers calm and out of their way.

Despite his admiration for their strength and competence, Armin worried constantly about his partner's tendency to prioritize everyone else's wellbeing over their own—a trait he recognized all too well in himself. He'd gently but persistently remind them to rest, sometimes using his tactical knowledge to point out how their exhaustion could compromise their effectiveness and, by extension, endanger more lives. His own struggles with self-worth made him particularly sensitive to the moments when his s/o questioned whether they'd done enough or blamed themselves for losses beyond their control. In these vulnerable moments, Armin would draw on his growing confidence and hard-won wisdom to remind them of their irreplaceable value to the regiment and to him personally, using the same logical arguments and emotional insight that made him such an effective strategist to help them see their own worth more clearly.

~Erwin~

Erwin's relationship with the Scout Regiment's head doctor creates a unique tension between his role as commander and his personal feelings. He watches with a mixture of pride and concern as his partner works tirelessly in the medical bay, often going days with minimal sleep to tend to wounded soldiers returning from expeditions. The sight of them frantically moving between patients, blood staining their uniform and exhaustion evident in every movement, stirs something protective within him that conflicts with his typically calculated demeanor. He understands better than anyone the weight of responsibility his s/o carries - every life saved is a victory, every life lost a burden they both share.

The commander finds himself torn between his duty to maintain professional distance and his desire to ease his partner's overwhelming workload. During strategic meetings, Erwin's mind occasionally wanders to the medical bay, wondering if his s/o has managed to eat or rest. He begins subtly adjusting mission parameters when possible, not enough to compromise objectives but perhaps routing squads closer to medical supply caches or timing expeditions to allow for better preparation. His stoic facade remains intact in public, but those closest to him notice the way his jaw tightens when casualty reports come in, knowing each number represents another sleepless night for his beloved.

In their rare private moments together, Erwin reveals the softer side of his nature that few ever witness. He takes to quietly tending his partner's needs - ensuring they have proper meals, drawing baths to wash away the day's blood and trauma, or simply holding them when the weight of lost soldiers becomes too much to bear. His large hands, typically used for signing death warrants and battle plans, become gentle as they massage tension from tired shoulders or brush hair from his s/o's weary face. These intimate moments become his anchor, reminding him of what humanity is truly worth fighting for beyond the abstract concept of freedom.

The relationship fundamentally changes how Erwin views sacrifice and loss. While he maintains his ability to make the hard choices that define effective leadership, he struggles with the knowledge that each decision potentially puts more strain on his partner. He becomes more invested in soldier training and injury prevention, not just for tactical advantages but because he cannot bear to see his s/o break under the endless stream of casualties. When his s/o inevitably reaches their breaking point - perhaps after a particularly devastating expedition - Erwin's composed exterior finally cracks. He holds them as they sob, making quiet promises about a future beyond the walls where their healing hands won't be needed for war, even as he knows such promises may be beyond his power to keep.

~Levi~

Levi's relationship with his doctor s/o is built on a foundation of mutual respect and shared dedication to preserving human life, though he'd never admit the latter part out loud. He watches with quiet admiration as they work tirelessly to patch up his fellow soldiers after each expedition, their hands steady even when treating the most gruesome injuries. What strikes him most is how they never seem to lose their composure, maintaining the same clinical focus whether they're treating a minor cut or performing emergency surgery. He finds himself drawn to their competence and unwavering commitment, qualities he values above all else. Their shared understanding of the weight of responsibility - his in keeping soldiers alive in battle, theirs in keeping them alive afterward - creates an unspoken bond between them.

The captain becomes increasingly protective of his s/o as he witnesses the toll their work takes on them. He notices everything: the dark circles under their eyes from sleepless nights in the medical bay, the way their shoulders slump with exhaustion after particularly brutal expeditions, the tremor in their hands when they think no one is looking. Levi starts bringing them tea during their long shifts, never making a big show of it but simply setting the cup down within reach before leaving without a word. He also begins assigning scouts to help with medical supply runs and equipment cleaning, claiming it's for "efficiency" when really he's trying to lighten their workload. His concern manifests in practical ways - ensuring they eat regularly, forcing them to take breaks, and occasionally threatening other scouts who might interrupt their rest.

What frustrates Levi most is his s/o's tendency to prioritize everyone else's wellbeing over their own, a trait he recognizes all too well in himself. He's witnessed them work through their own injuries, skip meals to tend to patients, and push themselves past their limits time and again. This leads to some of their few genuine arguments, with Levi's blunt nature clashing against their stubborn dedication. "You're no use to anyone if you collapse," he'll tell them harshly, though the worry in his grey eyes betrays his true feelings. He's learned to be more subtle in his approach, sometimes literally picking them up and carrying them away from the medical bay when they refuse to rest, his actions speaking louder than any gentle words ever could.

Despite their demanding schedules, Levi treasures the quiet moments they manage to steal together. Late at night, when the medical bay is finally empty and the base is quiet, he'll find his s/o organizing supplies or updating patient records. These are the times when his walls come down slightly - he'll help them with mundane tasks, work in comfortable silence beside them, or simply sit nearby while they finish their work. He's surprisingly gentle when tending to any injuries they might have sustained during their duties, his usually steady hands becoming even more careful when touching them. In these intimate moments, Levi allows himself to show vulnerability, sometimes resting his forehead against theirs and whispering his gratitude for everything they do, not just for him, but for the people he cares about most.

~Hange~

Hange would be incredibly affectionate and attentive when her s/o is tending to other injured scouts, watching with genuine admiration as they work. She'd brag constantly about her partner's medical skills to anyone who'd listen, much to their embarrassment. During quieter moments, she'd curl up in the medical bay while her s/o works late, content to organize files or clean equipment just to be near them. Hange would also insist on being her partner's personal test subject for any new medical techniques, claiming it's "for the advancement of medical science" when really she just enjoys the gentle attention.

Hange would be absolutely smitten with her doctor s/o, though she'd probably drive them to the brink of exhaustion with her reckless tendencies. She'd constantly show up to the medical bay with cuts, burns, and bruises from her Titan experiments, always with that sheepish grin and a hurried "It's just a scratch!" Her s/o would have learned to keep extra supplies on hand specifically for Hange's frequent visits. Despite her casual attitude toward her own injuries, Hange would be incredibly protective of her partner's wellbeing, often staying up late to help organize medical supplies or assist with patient care when the scouts return from particularly brutal expeditions.

The dynamic between them would be both exasperating and endearing. Hange's s/o would have developed a sixth sense for when she's about to do something dangerous, often appearing at her lab with a first aid kit before Hange even realizes she needs it. They'd have gentle arguments about Hange's safety protocols, with her partner trying to implement basic protective measures while Hange insists that "science requires sacrifice!" Her s/o would have learned to hide behind Hange's workbench when she gets that particular gleam in her eye that means she's about to test something potentially explosive.

When Hange gets seriously injured, her usual bravado would crumble around her s/o, showing a vulnerability she rarely displays to others. She'd be an absolutely terrible patient - fidgety, trying to get back to work too soon, and constantly apologizing for worrying her partner. Her s/o would have to use a combination of medical authority and romantic persuasion to keep her in bed long enough to heal properly. In return, Hange would shower them with small gifts from her research - carefully preserved flowers, interesting rock samples, or beautifully detailed sketches of Titan anatomy, each accompanied by rambling explanations of why she thought they'd find it fascinating.

~Jean~

Jean initially finds himself torn between pride and worry when it comes to his s/o's role as the Scout Regiment's doctor. On one hand, he's incredibly proud of their medical expertise and dedication to keeping everyone alive, often bragging about their skills to fellow soldiers. However, his pragmatic nature makes him constantly anxious about the toll their job takes on them. He sees firsthand how they work through exhaustion, patching up soldier after soldier following expeditions, and it conflicts with his desire for both of them to have some semblance of safety and normalcy. Jean often catches himself wanting to suggest they transfer to a safer position, but his respect for their commitment and his understanding of how crucial they are to the regiment keeps him from voicing these concerns too forcefully.

The sight of his s/o's hands, perpetually stained with blood and trembling from overwork, becomes something that haunts Jean during quiet moments. His brutal honesty, usually directed outward, turns inward as he struggles with guilt over not being able to protect them from the emotional and physical strain of their work. He starts paying closer attention to the casualties during missions, not just for tactical reasons, but because he knows each wounded soldier means another sleepless night for his partner. Jean begins taking on additional responsibilities around their shared living space, handling chores and meals without being asked, understanding that their time and energy need to be preserved for saving lives.

Jean's natural leadership abilities manifest in how he becomes fiercely protective of his s/o's wellbeing, often stepping in when he notices other soldiers taking advantage of their dedication. He's not above using his blunt personality to tell exhausted soldiers to handle minor injuries themselves or to remind officers that his partner needs rest between missions. Despite his own aversion to dangerous situations, Jean finds himself volunteering for riskier assignments partly because he knows that fewer casualties mean less work for his s/o. He starts viewing mission success not just in terms of strategic victory, but in terms of how many soldiers return unharmed, knowing that each healthy return is a small gift to his overworked partner.

The relationship deepens Jean's understanding of sacrifice and duty in ways his earlier self-centered motivations never could. Watching his s/o work tirelessly to save lives, even when their own health suffers, gradually shifts his perspective from wanting an easy life to wanting a meaningful one. He begins to see their work as a form of heroism that doesn't require grand gestures or dramatic battles, but rather quiet, consistent dedication to preserving life. Jean starts leaving small notes of encouragement in their medical supplies, brings them meals during long shifts, and learns to provide the kind of steady, reliable support that his s/o needs to continue their vital work. His love becomes expressed through understanding when they're too exhausted to talk, holding them when they've lost a patient, and being the calm presence they can return to after witnessing humanity's fragility day after day.

~Sasha~

Sasha's relationship with her doctor s/o is a beautiful blend of understanding and gentle chaos. She quickly learns that her partner's dedication to keeping the Scout Regiment alive means long, unpredictable hours and constant worry. While initially frustrated by the missed dinners and interrupted conversations, Sasha develops a deep respect for her s/o's unwavering commitment to saving lives. She becomes incredibly protective of their rare moments together, often bringing meals directly to the medical bay and creating a small sanctuary where her exhausted partner can find comfort between emergencies.

Her nurturing instincts, usually reserved for food and close friends, extend completely to her overworked s/o. Sasha makes it her personal mission to ensure they're eating properly, often sneaking extra portions from the mess hall or hunting fresh game to prepare hearty meals that can sustain her partner through their demanding schedule. She learns to read the subtle signs of her s/o's exhaustion - the slight tremor in their hands after a particularly difficult surgery, the way they unconsciously massage their temples when overwhelmed with casualties. During these moments, Sasha becomes remarkably gentle, offering wordless comfort through simple gestures like warm embraces or quietly braiding their hair while they rest.

The unique challenges of their relationship teach Sasha patience in ways she never expected. She learns to find romance in stolen moments - brief kisses exchanged in supply closets, her s/o falling asleep against her shoulder during rare quiet evenings, or the grateful smile her partner gives when finding a carefully wrapped meal left on their desk. Sasha's naturally intuitive nature helps her anticipate her s/o's needs, whether it's preparing medical supplies before they ask or simply being a steady, comforting presence during the aftermath of particularly brutal expeditions.

Despite the difficulties, Sasha finds immense pride in loving someone so selflessly dedicated to protecting others. She often brags to her fellow scouts about her partner's skills and dedication, becoming fiercely defensive if anyone suggests the medical corps doesn't face the same dangers as field operatives. Her s/o's compassion and skill inspire Sasha to be more mindful of her own safety during missions, knowing that her injuries would only add to her partner's already overwhelming burden. Their relationship becomes a source of strength for both, with Sasha's unwavering optimism and warmth providing the emotional support her s/o needs to continue their life-saving work.

[serenmaxoff]

Hiii I was thinking about Agatha Harkness x reader where Agatha and Reader aren’t a thing yet and reader realize two things: that Agatha seems to get a lot of attention from other woman and that reader has a crush on Agatha. To avoid getting hurt, reader starts to distance herself from Agatha to rid herself of her crush but Agatha is not having it. Can I request it please?

People can be very smart about some things, and completely dumb about others. Doctor!Agatha Harkness x Intern!Reader

Tags: Fluff, wannabe medical information, two dumb lesbians, making out, probably a lot of malpractice and medical misinfo, power imbalance dynamic, "strangers" to friends, friends to lovers. || MEN DNI || English isn't my first language

“Please, please please. You need to ask Dr. Harkness to take you for the practice of tomorrow. I swear she’s going to kill me If I say the wrong thing again.” She makes a pause just to hold you by the shoulders and start shaking you softly. “Besides, she’s been trying to take you on many practices before, if you ask her I think she would even smile! Like a real smile, those where you actually see the person's teeth!”

You groan as you take your hands to your forehead and start making slow movements trying to relax. Kate had been following around telling you how difficult her life was since Dr. Harkness had become her new mentor after Dr. Barton decided to leave the hospital to spend more time with his family after his wife had his third child. 

“You do realize that mostly taking neuro cases paves the way for you to be a neuro, right?” You stop on the mid-walk just to turn and look at her, only showing her how unimpressed you were for the whole situation. “And for your information I’m quite happy taking my cardio cases with Dr. Stark and Dr. Hill.”

“Please just ask for tomorrow practice! I swear I’ll take the next one and accept my fate as her mentee. She’s just so difficult to please, like I could tell her why a posterior communicating artery aneurysm can cause double vision and she would still look at me as if I had said all the vowels wrong. And the worst thi-...” 

Maybe it's time to start believing in God? If he is as merciful as people say he is, he could make it stop, couldn't he? He might even give you an operation to participate in with Dr. Stark as compensation for listening to Kate from the hospital parking lot.

While your head is still trying to find a way to deal with Kate's monologue, your eyes fix on the figure that has just stopped at the end of the corridor. The power she excludes even when she’s just standing should be analize you think. 

Agatha Harkness was a very renowned neurosurgeon in her mid 30’s, after becoming the head of the neurosurgery department, a year later she won the ACP Clinical Innovation Award for creating a procedure that reduced operating room time and improved the recovery of patients with refractory epilepsy, and after that one prize, the others just followed.

She was very famous at a very early age, but that didn’t erase the fact that she was a very strict, reserved and indifferent woman. If it wasn’t related to medicine or neurology she was simply not interested.

Or at least that’s what you would normally say if you didn’t know her better.  

Especially after yesterday. 

“Thank you Ed, I hope she didn’t bother you too much” You say to the man behind the bar. 

“I thought interns only lived for the hospital alone?” He says with a sly smirk making you huff annoyingly. “She’s probably coming back in a few minutes, she wasn’t feeling well if you know what I mean.”

As you sat at the bar waiting for Agatha to return, you began to search in your backpack for the extra sweatshirt you always carried. After several accidents you had learned that it was better to carry a pair of leggings and an extra sweatshirt in your backpack for any situation.

A part of you was somewhere between acceptance and resignation of the closeness and relationship you had with Agatha, but another part of you still wondered how long this kind of relationship with her had developed.

The truth was that it was absurd to even ask yourself that question. You knew better than anyone the moment that had been decisive for the relationship the two of you now had.

It was a month after you graduated.

You remember that day better than anything because the final episode of ‘12 Monkeys’ was premiering. Hours earlier you had finished doing the housework so you didn't have the rest of the day off and had taken the opportunity after taking out the garbage to go to the supermarket and buy a pizza along with a bag of chips and a soda, you may have even bought a small container of ice cream, but if you hadn't noticed that, no one else had then.

It was then that minutes before the chapter started you heard how something had crashed against your door.

The truth is that the neighborhood where you had gotten the apartment wasn't that bad, but being that most of the students had already vacated their apartments and that out of the 8 apartments in the building only 3 were occupied, it made you a little more cautious than usual. More so knowing that your downstairs neighbor had gotten a security job that meant he wasn't around in the evenings and that your neighbor across the street was never around, or at least you had never crossed paths with them.

Grabbing a knife from the kitchen, you approached the door while inwardly cursing yourself because I didn't even have the chain to open the door safely.

After opening the door the first thing you did was scream as you felt the weight of something falling on your feet and legs.

You tried to move backwards, but one of your flip-flops got caught in what was on top of your feet and you ended up on the floor. It was only until you heard a familiar grunt that your body decided to stay completely still.

“Do you really need to scream that way? I swear to god if I wasn’t so fucking happy I would… Sparks?”

The moment those ocean eyes found yours you felt completely lost. You definitely knew this person. Hell! You had classes with this person and she for sure wasn't the one listening to the lectures. She was the fucking substitute tutor. What the fuck was this person doing in your apartment? How did she know where you lived? 

“Hey! Hey!” As soon as you came back to yourself, the first thing you noticed was the pungent and alcohol-scented breath coming out of her mouth. In front of you, the person was snapping her fingers in front of your face but the first thing your body did was relax and release the knife you had taken previously. “Did you hit your head? Why the fuck aren’t you answering?”

“What?” 

“‘What?’” She repeated with a mix of annoyance and mockery. “I said ‘Why. The. Fuck. aren’t you answering?’ Are you some kind of perv to enter someone else’s apartment in just underwear and a thin shirt? I thought you had a bright future after those questions you asked on the last seminar, but I guess every talent has their fucking weird quirks” 

You would have thought that the tone of apathy she was using to talk to you and the slow, paused manner was because she thought you were an idiot, but the way her corners rose in each pause and then returned to a neutral pose made you realize she was enjoying it. Maybe it was the way she talked to you but after looking around for a moment you cleared your throat and stared directly into her eyes, your voice charged with annoyance. 

“In any case wouldn’t you be the perv?” You tilted your head softly before lifting your hand and moving it around. “Maybe you should look at your surroundings before making false statements like that, you know?” Propping yourself up, you started walking towards the door. “I appreciate your very unwelcome visit Dr. Harkness, but if you could get out of my home I would appreciate it.” 

Dismissing your words she started to look around noticing how in fact, this wasn’t her apartment but yours. The way her head snapped back at you, made you nibble on your bottom lip, trying to contain your laugh from the way she started to wiggle the fingers of her right hand, and the way her cheeks started to take a more rosy tone.  

Tripping on her words, Agatha decided to just shut her mouth. 

“I swear this day can’t get any worse…” She muttered to herself. She looked at you again and taking a few steps she extended her hand. “I apologize for this situation. It is my responsibility for not controlling my alcohol consumption and for not taking in my surroundings more quickly.” 

“I didn’t know you lived here” You say more calmly this time, after all, receiving an apology from her, specifically, was as rare as a thief having honor… On second thought, probably you shouldn't compare her with a thief though. 

“It was only for the time I replaced Dr. Strange, but as you already know, that asshole decided just not to return until the next semester. And I actually like this place, or I liked it. Considering I didn’t have to see anyone from the hospital or campus.” Her jaw clenched and her eyes closed remembering the whole situation, and honestly you couldn’t blame her. Losing the person in charge of one of the most important years of your career just to adapt to another person that was almost the same as him but more strict and had the belief of “swim or die” wasn’t exactly the ideal scenario for anyone involved.”So you live here Sparks?” She says tilting her head as she lets her body weight rest at the door frame, looking at you intently but also trying to gain some sobriety by breathing slowly and profoundly. “I thought you were returning to your hometown after graduation?” The frown she wears shows how she’s trying to remember if maybe she misheard that time you were talking with your friends, but she can swear you said you were going back home, specially after the health of someone from your family was deteriorating. 

You are taken aback by her question, you try to remember if you ever slipped thant kind of information to her, specially on those sessions where she would try to help you find which specialization you wanted to follow after graduation, but even though you keep repeating all your conversations with her, your end up answering without thinking. 

“I-I wanted to stay here. I wanted to spend more time with my friends and…” Your voice started to lower with each word until it became only a whisper. You wanted to enter the same Hospital as them, but you hadn’t reached the point to choose which hospital you wanted to start your internship. You would need a letter of recommendation from a doctor working there, but that was already difficult considering they could only use one for only one student, your other option was just asking the universe to be benevolent enough to make the people in charge of distributing the students to send you there.

It’s not that you had bad grades or anything bad. But you knew this wasn’t the only university teaching medicine, and obviously there had to be better students than yourself, and many of them would kill for a spot in the SHIELD Road Hospital so your dream to actually keep seeing your friends would soon become nonexistent.

She noticed though. 

The way you started to play unconsciously with the tip of your fingers and how your shoulders started to tense up. You were talking to her looking directly at her eyes, but now your gaze looked everywhere except herself, and that bothered her. 

When you felt cold fingers holding your chin immediately your breath got caught on your chest. 

“I do like when people look at me when I’m having a conversation. You are not the exception, Sparks.”

“Why do you call me Sparks?” You say taking a step back from her, trying to create some distance out of respect. At the end of the day maybe she wasn’t anymore your tutor, but if the accepted at the hospital

“Who knows? You were really smart in all our sessions and all the seminars, also most of the doctors you got to work with said you were a brilliant student.” She shrugs her shoulders before walking towards the apartment in front of you. “I guess I’ll be seeing you a lot more at the hospital, isn’t it?” 

The meak sound that came out of your mouth was signal enough for Agatha to know that it was in fact that topic that turned your usual radiance out of the window, but how would she be able to pry  more when she didn’t have that kind of relationship with you? To be real she didn’t have any kind of relationship with you but maybe a Senior-Junior one, but that wouldn’t even open the door for her to ask more about your concerns. 

When you saw she started looking for something you decided it was time to close your door. 

You lifted up the knife you had previously taken, now a silly thought considering you didn’t even know any kind of personal defense, which you should probably at least try once just for protection. 

You were walking towards the sofa trying to finally start catching up with the episode and enjoy the finale, when a knock on your door made you roll your eyes. You took the bag of chips to the side and after moving the blanket out of the way you walked towards the door and after opening it you saw a sheepish Agatha trying to avoid your eyes. 

“It seems I lost my key, could I stay here for the night, please” 

The rest was history after that night, because the moment a soft ‘yeah, sure’ came out of your mouth it was like you had adopted a stray cat. A very mischievous, cocky and snarky cat though. She would start inviting herself to your apartment at night after her shifts at the hospital, and when you got you the email saying you were accepted to do your internship at the same hospital as your friends and her, she celebrated with you, taking you to a restaurant that had a lot of board games, that you really enjoyed playing. 

And after you started doing your practices at the hospital, she would come up to you and ask you to return with her in her car, saying you should help her to take advantage of the gasoline she was going to use to go back. Of course each time you decline, not wanting to start some weird rumors on hospital grounds, considering it seemed even the walls had eyes and ears, but by now you were even considering some doctors asking the hospital security for information, even doing trades with them for something juicy.

Once they changed you to be at the night shift, the problem started when you couldn’t even make a sandwich or just throw an apple in your backpack and go to the hospital. The first time she saw you running with just a banana on your hand, the way her lips formed a thin line should have been warning enough of what she was thinking about your breakfast choice, but you only told her you ran out of food so past-tomorrow you would go to the market to buy some. 

She was a patient person when she wanted to be, so she told herself she would wait. That day was Tuesday so she should wait for Thursday to see if you were only full of bullshit or you actually cared about your health. So the moment she opened your apartment and noticed you weren’t home yet, she checked the cabinets and the fridge only to find one beer that was already out of date and half a tomato. So with a thin smile, she decided she was going to kill you when you returned, but first she had to go to the market, because clearly you didn’t give a fuck about yourself and her, considering she was also living there.

Well, not living there, there, but you know, there. 

So when you returned home the fridge was as full as the cabinets, and when you took your phone to pay her for all the groceries, she only patted your head and threw herself on the couch, putting play on the TV, resuming her Harry Potter Marathon and hearing her call out all the inconsistencies about how the government or even the school rules were. And after remembering her it was just a kids movie, she would shoot you a deadly glare.  

But from that day on, she would bring you bags full of groceries each week because, as she said ‘it’s a responsibility to know future generations are well fed and grow well’. Of course later at night, especially on Thursday's Marathon night, when it was possible, she would start complaining about How Grey’s Anatomy was inaccurate and how Meredith should just take Addison to a closet and resolve their situation by making out. Or how it was amazing in OUAT how Regina and Emma were dating each other's male versions.

You laughed so hard that the neighbor under you started kicking his ceiling. 

And as the months passed by you even started making space for her clothes, so every time you went looking for her at the bar that was 20 minutes away from the hospital she would have something clean and warm to wear. 

Which brings you back to yesterday. 

“What are you doing here Sparks? Didn’t you have that operation with María in the afternoon?” You heard her before you felt her, but your body decided to stay still as she hugged you from behind, resting her arms over your shoulders and putting her head over yours. “I thought you said Maria gave you permission to rest in the apartment because this was the longest you had been in the operating room?” Because her arms were crossed over your chest, you felt how her hands started to caress over the sweatshirt each of your arms. 

“You are so hardworking, why don’t you wanna be in neuro with me? God knows I need someone with capable hands like yours…” You felt how her chest started to move repeatedly behind your head and that's when you heard her snorting. “And brain, of course your brain too.” 

You only rolled your eyes and started to get up from your seat. She tried to keep you in place but considering she was definitely drunk, her strength was null. 

“And I would be in my bed right now if someone didn’t got drunk to the point she can’t even drive.”

“I was gonna ask for an Uber you know?” She says as she takes her phone out of her jeans pocket and starts shaking it softly in front of you. 

You take her phone away and when you press the screen it shows it’s already dead making all her wigglin stop. 

“You are lucky you always come to this place and that Ed has my number.” You swiftly hold her with one arm from the waist and as you pull her to your side, you look back at Ed who was very amused by the scene. “Thank you Ed, until next time!”

“You should take better care of your girlfriend though!” He says with a cocky smile as he winks at you goodbye. 

You try to answer back, but a hand resting on your cheeks makes your focus back on the person you are currently holding.

“You heard him. You should take better care of me. Just as I take care of you.” 

You had every intention to respond back, you  really had, but the moment she pressed her lips against yours it was as if every thought and image in your head just banished. 

The way she was touching you wasn’t strong nor rough. Her fingers were touching your skin as if it was going to break if she tried to hold you any tighter. She turned around spooning you against her without making any distance between the two of you. She tasted like alcohol and cigars, but who would have thought she liked them mint flavored? 

You hadn't even completely left the establishment, but that didn't seem to matter to her after she stuck you to the wall closest to the exit.

“You are always so cute when you're flustered…” She whispered against the corner of your lips, before starting to leave small kisses against your jaw, making you close your eyes and mouth trying to control your reactions. “Maybe I should start making you this way, but only for me though… You’re mine after all.” 

When she looked at you again, she was so close the tip of your noses were brushing against each other, but what made your legs fail you was the way she slid her tongue from your chin to your lips, trying to mark her territory in her drunken state.

“Agatha” You murmured against her cheek, only having for an answer a little purr. “Agatha…”

“Yes, pet?” She said, murmuring against your neck.

“You are drunk, and we need to go. Where are your keys?” 

She groaned softly before resting her head completely on your shoulder. “It’s in my pocket.” Agatha mustered the words as bored as she could, and only because you couldn’t see it, but the way she was smiling showed completely the opposite of that tone, but the cherry on top for Agtha was when you asked her with your voice faltering in which pocket it was. “Left one, front.”

It was enough for you having her resting her whole weight against your body considering she was a little taller than you, but it was completely frustrating how even as drunk as she was, how she was handling the situation, well, how you were going to handle the situation when you came back to your apartment.

Everything had become so messy in a short amount of time that your brain couldn’t even handle it as it normally should. So when she told you where the key of the car was, you moved the other hand that was holding her and started moving it down towards the pocket, what you didn’t expect was the way she started moaning against your ear the moment you reached into the pocket. 

Your breath hitched causing Agatha to bite her lips to keep from laughing, but you, unlike her, closed them to suppress a whimper. You tried to turn your hand but that only made Agatha start to move her hips upwards trying to rub herself against your hand.

“I didn't know you had a thing for public places pet. I think you can feel how excited this makes me feel, maybe I should check on you next, huh?” 

Coming back to today

“I feel like all the people who like her are because they don't know her. Last time one of the nurses crashed into the cart with all the dirty sheets because she was trying to get Dr. Harkness' attention." You turn to look at Kate who is now standing next to you as she shrugs her shoulders. “At least he did get her attention, not the attention he wanted, but he got it.”

“What are we talking about?”

"You haven't even been listening to me! I've been talking to you on the air for like 30 minutes, it's unbelievable dude!” She says a little too loud, making Agatha, Dr. Stark and Director Fury to look at the both of you with lifted brows.

“Sorry!” You say as you round Kate’s neck with your arm and bow your heads a little while whispering in her ear. “You really need to learn when to gossip and how loud to do it!” After releasing her you began to slowly shake your robe to get it back into place. “Besides, what are you talking about? How can you say that everyone is dying to be with Dr. Harkness when they are always talking about Dr. Rogers in pediatrics? I mean, I could almost swear that's all I hear when the nurses come by, even Dr. Barnes once said he just needed a chance.” Kate only snorted at your response. 

“What is so funny?” You asked with complete honesty. 

“Do you have a crush on her or something? Or are you just too dense to notice how every single person that crosses her path wants to have a piece of that?” 

You glared at Kate and she started laughing a little more uncontrollably than before, but the worst thing is that she took it all wrong. You weren’t mad because she called you almost an idiot, but because it wasn’t possible. You were moving a lot more than Kat throughout the Hospital considering how you were going from Dr. Stark, to Dr. Hill to Agatha sometimes. You talked with almost everyone on the levels where she was most seen so, how the hell didn’t you notice everyone wanted her? You weren’t that oblivious, right? Right? 

“I mean, If you think about it who wouldn’t want to date her? She is a winner of several medical awards and is one of the 20 leaders in her field, she is head of the neurology department in one of the most important hospitals worldwide, she has a good salary, she is extremely hot." As Kate's last words left her mouth a strange and unpleasant sensation began to spread through your chest and into your throat. “She’s in her mid 30’s, she’s single and by some old photos she’s aging like fine wine. She’s career oriented and very responsible and for what Nurse Lilia told me the other day, she’s really caring with the people she loves.” She starts moving her hands, simulating a scale. “From wherever you see it, she’s actually a very good option and very tempting… Maybe if I gain her heart she’ll start going easy on me?”

You were spiraling. 

You started to look at Agatha intently.

She was definitely beautiful. You weren't stupid enough not to notice her beauty, but really what was it that caught people's attention?

Could it be the way no matter how she fixed her hair she always looked good? Or maybe it was the way that when she smiled her eyes smiled in such a way that you could swear they sparkled? Maybe it was the way that when she went a long time without speaking or concentrating her voice became hoarse and she had to clear it several times until it returned to its normal tone?

Maybe it was the softness of her lips and the care he took when she kissed you?

You quickly shook your head trying to erase that last thought, but that didn't stop you from feeling how the heat was slowly rising not only to your cheeks but to your ears as well.

“It’s a shame though, considering she already has a girlfriend.” Your head snapped back to Kate looking at her in disbelief. 

“What did you say?”

A/N: So here is part 1.

Honestly when I received the request, I thought it was going to be something short, but when I started writing the words started coming out. I had intended to finish it today, but I had a tarot reading and decided to split it into parts and post this first while I finish the other half.

I hope you liked it, if you think I missed a tag please let me know so I can add it and let me know what you thought. If there is any mistake an apology.

See you next time.

Dividers

Taglist: @sweetmidnights

[unnerving-presence]

I also like the idea of fluff with the green rabbit... Maybe he'd seek it out if he was jealous? Are we fw with that?

Like... Imagine if the reader was handsy with another killer in the Entity's realm (dbd), and he was under the assumption that the reader favored HIM out of everyone else. What do you mean they're holding hands with Phillip? Entangling their arm around Caleb's? Hugging Danny??? He's their absolute favorite? Why wouldn't he get any of this special treatment while the others do?

I can imagine this feeling of resentment would bleed into matches too, especially when he downs them and says that one specific line: "Do you feel that?"

I really like thinking he's just a loser who hates the feeling that he's lower than everyone else by being exempt X33

i loved this idea so much i’m writing about about it hehe

lol i have no idea what to name this when i put it in the masterlist

Honestly? You probably wouldn’t think he’d want any affection that at all at first. And in general he probably doesn’t. Not that he hates you or finds it disgusting, but he will always have something better to do than indulge in your fantasies.

Well, you had never really tried giving him any affection before. Your relationship with William always felt a little rocky and you surely didn’t want to push your luck no matter how badly you wanted to. You couldn’t have possibly known what he truly wanted from you.

As a result of this, any killers that are nice to you outside of trials will get your love instead. Surely William isn’t mad about that is he?

Of course he is. He thrives off of any attention you give him and anything that could boost his ego, which you tend to do a lot. Of course seeing you give killers attention you could be giving him isn’t going to make him happy. He might not exactly crave those sweet touches like most but that does not give you a reason to hand them out like free samples.

He is supposed to be put on a pedestal. He is the one that talks sweet to you to bring you close to him. You follow anything he tells you to and he likes it that way. Now you want to share that with other killers? No, that just won’t do.

Perhaps he yanks you away from them by your wrist, practically dragging you along with him back to his realm. He doesn’t exactly need to say anything to get his message across.. but just for good measure he may corner you, bringing a hang up to gently grip your neck as he tells you that.. surely you wouldn’t want to disappoint him, would you? You’ve been so good in the time you’ve spent with him. He’d hate to have to punish you now. You’re his favorite.

William knows he has you with the way he speaks to you alone. You were always so easy to coerce into doing his bidding. You loved his voice, his touch, his praise. You would do anything for him and that alone is something he takes great pride in.

William loves all of your attention. And maybe, just maybe he enjoyed the way you reached out to him to hold the side of his face before he pulled away far too soon than you would’ve liked. Whether it is simply because it shows him how much you still desire his presence or because he knows you still prioritize him over anyone else is unclear.

The fact that he allowed that touch says enough. Maybe all you need is to take a brave step forward. Perhaps he’s just waiting for you to make a move.