#it’s just weird. especially when u weren’t directly involved in the matter at hand

[nyxtickled]

feels like a good enough time to add to the discourse that there is a difference between cancel culture and accountability.

cancel culture is usually created by an affected community in response to an acknowledgment of harm. sometimes the person acknowledging said harm is the one at fault for instigating such a response, sure, no denying that; usually this is the case when you see callouts that are riddled with insults, character attacks and/or unproductive attempts at private conflict resolution prior to the post.

but there really needs to be more fucking acceptance and less defensive backlash for the act of acknowledging harm done with the sole motive of raising awareness of unacceptable actions/behaviors and minimizing the repetition of these acts elsewhere. sometimes people have tried to resolve the issue privately and were dismissed. other times people have stayed silent and then gone on to witness that individual inflicting the exact same harms onto others.

if a callout is genuinely done from a place of concern and with the intent to reduce harm being done, it’s not “cancel culture” until a bunch of other mfs start jumping on it saying “wow fuck them! blocked! cancelled!” etc. that’s one element that can be improved upon as a community when it comes to a generalized response to these matters. not every callout constitutes a pitchfork-wielding mob.

however, that also requires a community to utilize some critical thinking skills and determine whether an offense is actually heinous enough to call for excommunication (i.e. physical/emotional abuse, boundary violation accompanied by no acknowledgment of wrongdoing, repeatedly preying on new or younger community members who don’t recognize red flags). sometimes people just cause unmalicious harm, but if a victim chooses to acknowledge that harm, it’s their right to do so.

maybe instead of policing every victim or perpetrator’s intent, you could just listen to them and acknowledge that it was in fact wrong or harmful without attaching the event to someone’s character (unless it’s genuinely their character that is harmful - then we end up in a position where the safest option is to ensure that person does not have access to you).

like at the end of the day unless you are the victim or the perpetrator involved in a situation you don’t actually know what it felt like or what the intent was. so if someone’s trying to make you aware of something, simply become aware of it and act accordingly. lashing out at victims who speak about any level of harm they experienced literally does nothing but dissuade other victims (who may have experienced serious harm that NEEDS to be spoken about in order to end a pattern of abuse in a community at large) from speaking about shit.

and maybe learn to discern between a harmful behavior and a harmful person. that alone will make the correct solution much more intuitive when it comes to keeping people and a community accountable, responsible and safe.

[soobiniebaby]

Angels & Devils Part III: Give Me a Highlight

Tomorrow x Together Fanfiction

~ p a r t s : main post || prologue || part 1 || part 2 || part 3 || part 4 || part 5 || part 6 || part 7 || part 8 || part 9 || part 10 || part 11 || part 12 || part 13 || part 14 || part 15 || part 16 || part 17 ~ p a i r i n g : love triangle involving choi soobin and choi yeonjun ~ g e n r e : high school au | some social media au | some fluff & angst | childhood friends | love triangle ~ l a n g u a g e : English ~ w a r n i n g : contains swearing, alcohol, kissing (?) and may contain mature themes (angst, etc.) ~ a / n : This will be my first fanfic (go easy on me pls) and i’m just writing this as I go along, so bear with me juseyo The setting (place/country) of the story is up to the reader’s interpretation ~ s u m m a r y : What should she choose? Han Baby: the new girl with a troubled past MO Academy: her new high school Choi Soobin: student council president, member of the Ecosave club, volunteer at the Humane Treatment of Animals, member of the Honor Society, a vocalist in the Jazzed club, the school’s all around golden boy Choi Yeonjun: leader of the Dance club, star of the Jazzed club, the school’s it boy with a bad rep 5 best friends, 1 new girl, 1 childhood friendship, 1 epic love triangle? What will this school year bring?

Being a new student on the first day of a new academic year was a bit of an experience for B, especially since she always had at least one member of the student council by her side throughout the day.

After lunch, Beomgyu had walked with her to their French class. She was used to getting looks as she passed by, because even at her old school she knew that people knew who she was, but the looks she was receiving at MOA were different. No one really knew who she was yet, or what her family was like. They weren’t looking at her with cold judgement, they weren’t whispering about her family background, but rather they were staring at her with bright curious eyes, and a bit of, dare she say it, jealousy?

When she was walking with Kai, she didn’t mind the stares too much because 1) she knew that her best friend was popular so it was only natural for people to stare at him and 2) she had enough history with Kai and felt comfortable enough with him to know that no matter what people may think, he was her best friend and no rumor or speculation could change that.

But as she walked alone with Beomgyu and sat beside him in class, the stares felt different. As comfortable enough as she was around Beomgyu, she realized that the level of comfort she felt with Kai was on another level. With Kai by her side, she felt like she had a shield that could block out what other people might say, but being alone with someone like Beomgyu, she felt bare and prone to judgement.

It wasn’t Beomgyu’s fault. He was warm, he was charming, and she felt at ease talking to him and enjoyed his company. He cracked funny jokes and made her feel close to him so effortlessly that if it weren’t for the stares, she would’ve felt like he was a close friend already.

But she was always super conscious of getting stares, so much so that it had a tendency to affect how she acted when she felt them. And Beomgyu seemed to notice this.

“Hey, B, are you alright?” he asks her as they occupy a couple of empty seats in their French class.

B nods. She wasn’t very good at hiding her feelings, so she simply said “Yeah I’m fine, I just don’t like it when I see people staring. It really makes me feel uneasy.”

Beomgyu looks at her with concern then and lays a hand on her wrist. “Hey, don’t mind them, alright? It’s probably just cause you’re the pretty new girl, so everyone’s probably just curious, that’s all.”

“The pretty new girl? Really?” B says looking at him with her brow raised.

Beomgyu holds his hands up defensively. “Well, you are? Pretty sure that’s how everyone sees you. To be honest, I’ve had a couple of guys from my last period ask about you. Looks like someone’s popular.” he says, nudging her arm teasingly.

B laughs, surprised. “You’re joking, right? What did they ask? Were they cute?”

“They wanted to know about you, I just told them you were pretty nice and cool. As for their looks, well, I guess you can say that MOA has a fairly attractive student population. Take me, for example.” Beomgyu says, rubbing his chin and making faces. “I mean, if you ever feel bad about the stares you get, just imagine that they’re all focusing on my handsome face.”

B hits his arm playfully, laughing out loud. “I can’t argue with that! Thanks Beomgyu, that actually made me feel a lot better.”

Beomgyu laughs along. “Don’t sweat it. Call me Gyu, by the way.”

Just then, their teacher for the period walks into the room, and everyone settles into their seats.

“Bonjour, je m’appelle Jackson.” Their teacher begins, addressing the class.

Beomgyu groans quietly. “Aw shit, why did my parents want me to learn French. Do you know any French?” he whispers to B.

B shrugs and says. “Ah Cher Monsieur Gyu, Je parle un petit peu de français.”

Beomgyu’s eyes widen. “Well then, um, mademoiselle B. Uh…Omelette du fromage?”

B whacks his arm and lets out a laugh, then immediately shuts up and sits up straight as their teacher glares at the pair.

“Don’t worry, I’ll help you with French.” B whispers. Beomgyu squeezes her hand under the table and whispers back “Thanks, B.”

•°•

“Is it just me, or are the stares and whispers getting a bit ridiculous?” B asks Soobin as they walk into their English class, the last period for the day. She could feel the stares throughout the day and was starting to get used to them, but as soon as she and Soobin entered the classroom, the stares now came with whispers, which made it so much more uncomfortable.

“Don’t worry about it. As much of a hot topic you are, being the new girl and all that, I think everyone’s whispering about Yeonjun’s absence. It was also like this at my last class. Everyone wants to know why he skipped his first day of class after being suspended last term.” Soobin says, leaning in close and keeping his voice low. “By the way, where do you wanna sit?” he asks politely. The teacher wasn’t in the room yet and a lot of the students weren’t seated yet, so they had a lot of seats to choose from.

“Anywhere’s fine, really.” B says. Soobin nods as he leads her to a couple of seats to the side close to the windows.

“I can’t say I blame them. I mean, I know the reason why but my head’s still spinning with questions about the whole thing.” B whispers to him as they sit down. “You guys weren’t very helpful about it, either.” she huffs as she recalls how their lunchbreak ended.

It was like they had a script prepared for whenever anyone asked them about Yeonjun and his strange disappearances from school.

“It’s complicated.” “It’s not our story to tell.” “He has a lot of family issues.” “He’s a very busy guy.” “It happens a lot.”

Soobin laughs. “I’m sorry, but it’s not our story to tell. If you really want to know, you can just ask Yeonjun himself. I’m sure you’ll appreciate it more coming from him, and I’m sure that he’ll appreciate you talking to him directly rather than asking other people about it as well.”

B pouts, knowing that Soobin was right. “Can’t argue with that. Plus, no matter how much I’ve heard about you guys, I think it would still be different if I got to know you all on my own.”

“Oh? Just how much have you heard about us guys, exactly?” Soobin asks with a raised brow.

B bites her lip as she realizes her slip up. Whoops. She couldn’t take it back now, so she replied honestly. “I promised Kai I’d stay quiet about it because he didn’t want me to weird you guys out by asking questions, but I’ve heard quite a lot about you guys from a couple of girls in my Biology class.”

“Don’t worry about it, I guess it was bound to happen. When you’re a member of the student council, people are bound to talk about you I guess.” he says lightheartedly.

Yeah, and when you’re a group of 5 attractive, tall, and insanely talented nice guys B thought to herself.

“I’m really curious though, what have you heard about me? Good things, I hope?” Soobin asks with a hopeful look on his face.

“Actually, the girls told me all about the other council members, but I didn’t hear much about you.” B says.

Soobin’s face fell as he looked at her with puppy dog eyes. “Is that so? Damn being the council president isn’t as big of a deal as it used to be, I guess.” he said dramatically, feigning hurt as he put a fist over his heart. “Maybe I should stir up some drama to get people talking about me on the first day.”

B laughs at his antics. “No, silly. We didn’t get to talk about you because the bell rang just as your name came up in our conversation.”

He laughed along sheepishly. “Well, I feel silly now.” he says, rubbing the back of his neck. “I mean, not that it’s important to me, but you know, it would be nice to feel included since you’ve heard so much about the other members already.”

“Well, I’m sure I’ll be able to get to know a lot about you soon enough.” B says, just as their teacher walks in and everybody takes their seats. B notices that no one takes the other seat beside Soobin, as if they collectively had an unspoken agreement that it was reserved for the absent blue-haired boy.

The teacher makes a quick scan of the room and looks at his notes before facing the class. “Ah, yes, I’ve been informed that Mr. Choi has been excused from classes this afternoon. Let’s hope no one else will be making any more absences than deemed necessary.”

A few whispers are heard around the room before the teacher proceeds. “I also understand that we have a new student, and she’s a Sophomore too, so I hope that as seniors you will treat her well and welcome her warmly to MO Academy. I’m Sir Kim, your teacher for this term, and I hope you’ll enjoy my class, Ms. Han.” he says directly to B. He smiles when he realizes that Soobin is seated next to her. “And who better than our student council president, Mr. Choi Soobin himself to ensure that you’ll be comfortable and feel right at home here with us.”

Soobin smiles back at Sir Kim sort of shyly, not expecting his name to be mentioned. “I’ll make sure of it, Sir.” he promises.

Sir Kim nods approvingly. “Now, I want to give you a short introduction to our class, which is Creative Writing 101. I think the title speaks for itself, but I’d like to do things a little differently, starting with giving you your first project for the term, which will be worth 25% of your grade.”

B whispers “Damn.” under her breath while other students gasp audibly and some whispers start up again before Sir Kim quiets them down. “I know it’s only your first day of school, but for most of you it’ll be your last year at this school, so I want to maximize the time you have left here. For today, I will simply present the project to you and allow you to discuss and plan the output amongst yourselves so it won’t be too heavy. This project will be done by pairs of your choosing, which we will settle within the day. Those absent today will be given consideration.”

Soobin and B share a look then, and they smile when they realize they looked at each other at the same time.

“Partners?” B asks, knowing he was about to ask her the same thing.

“Sure.” he says, and they shake hands before turning their attention back to Sir Kim.

“For your first project, not only will you be doing creative writing, but you will be forming a narrative. Telling a story in a different way, through a different medium.” he begins, doing his best to make the project sound interesting. “I will be asking you to use social media platforms of your choosing to create a narrative, to tell a story, to develop characters, and to show creative writing in a creative way. You have a month to work on it, and I expect at least one entry, rather one social media update, every week. Each social media update should feature you or your partner. And all pictures or messages have to be taken by and composed by either you or your partner. Now, go into pairs, discuss it amongst yourselves, and if you have any questions feel free to approach me.” Sir Kim finishes, then he starts walking around the room as the class excitedly begins to pair up.

B turns to Soobin, caught up in the excitement along with the rest of the class. “Wow, I haven’t had an assignment like this before. It seems pretty interesting.”

Soobin nods. “Sir Kim is one of the well-known teachers at MOA, they say his classes are always fun, so I’m really excited to be taking it.”

“Well, do you have any ideas on what we should do for our project? It’s worth 25% of our final grade, so I think we should really put effort into it.” B asks.

Soobin looks at her then and he can practically see the gears turning in her head. “I was thinking we should decide on what social media platforms we should use first, and what sort of story we should tell with each post, but it looks like you’re full of ideas.”

“Yeah, my mind’s going a mile a minute.” B admits. “I like stories, but I’m not much of a story-teller. My idea sucks anyway, since we’re a boy and a girl, the first story idea that came to mind was me and Kai, which now that I think about it seems pretty boring considering we’re basically just childhood friends.”

“That doesn’t seem boring, really. A lot of things could happen between childhood friends.” Soobin interjects. “They could grow old together, they could drift apart.”

They could fall in love, he thought, but fortunately he was able to stop himself from saying the sudden idea out loud, not knowing where it came from.

B wrinkles her nose. “I mean yeah, I guess that hadn’t really occurred to me since I was just thinking of what my relationship with Kai is like. I don’t think we’ll be able to show us as childhood friends growing old together though considering we only have a month to do the project, unless we could make ourselves look years older with every post.” she says.

“That’s a fair point.” Soobin agrees. “I like the idea of us being childhood friends though, so our posts can start with us already knowing each other instead of us meeting each other for the first time.”

“Ooh, how about this.” B says, turning to Soobin excitedly. “Okay, we could appear as childhood friends in our project, but in real life we’re just getting to know each other, right? So maybe while we’re getting to know each other, let’s just document each other and create posts around what pictures or information we gather about each other? Basically, we just take pictures of each other every time we hang out or see each other, then we’ll make stories out of them.” she explains, trying to convey her ideas as clearly as possible.

“That would be a win-win, I think. We’d be getting to know each other while creating content for our project at the same time.” Soobin says. “Be ready for a lot of candid pictures though, I’ll be taking pictures of you like I’m paparazzi.” he jokes, pretending to hold a camera in his hands and clicking his fingers together.

“That’s gonna be hard for me since I’m really camera shy. I’ll feel like paparazzi taking pictures of you all the time, too.” she says, laughing.

Soobin scoffs softly. “Psh, you? Camera shy? You don’t seem shy at all.” he says. “I bet I’ll be able to get a lot of good photos of you for this project.”

B raises a brow. “Good luck with that. And yeah, I’m not really a shy person but everytime there’s a camera on me, I have a tendency to hide my face or look away.”

“Oh really? We’re opposite then, since I regard myself as shy but for some reason I’m fine with being on a stage or having my picture taken.” Soobin says.

“You? A shy person?” B says, looking him up and down. She shakes her head as she says, “I don’t believe it. I mean, you’re a giant so you automatically stand out in crowds, plus you’re the president of the student council, which doesn’t sound like something that a shy person would do.”

Soobin laughs at her analysis. “I mean I didn’t ask to grow this tall, and I’m fine with stuff like that, but it’s still a struggle for me sometimes. To talk to people and stuff.” he finishes a bit awkwardly. “If you don’t believe me, just ask Hyuka and the others.”

“Oh, I will.” B says skeptically. “Speaking of Hyuka and the others, I was thinking we could go grab a snack or something later after school? We could get started on our project, plus I’m sure Kai is curious to know how my first day of classes went, so I thought he and the others might want to come too.” B asks him. “I mean, only if you’re up for it.”

“Sure thing, we should start taking pictures as soon as possible so we’ll have a lot to choose from every week. Let me just ask the guys about it real quick.” Soobin says, whipping his phone out.

“Are you sure you’re allowed to be using your phone during class?” B whispers as Soobin puts his phone down.

“Everyone’s doing it, so…” Soobin shrugs. “And it’s settled, we’re going to Taehyun’s café later and the others are coming as well.”

“Oh wow, Taehyun has a café?” B asks, amazed.

Soobin nods. “Actually, it’s his family’s café but he helps around a lot, so we hang out there all the time. He works really hard, not just in school but outside of it as well, so he hates wasting his free time. It’s very admirable.”

“He sounds amazing.” B says, agreeing with Soobin.

Just then, Sir Kim approaches the 2 and says. “Hello Ms. Han, I hope you’re enjoying your time at MO Academy so far.”

B nods. “Yes, it’s an amazing school, I’m glad to be here. Thank you, Sir Kim.” she says, smiling brightly at him.

Sir Kim smiles and nods back before turning to Soobin. “That’s good. Now, Mr. Choi, I’m assuming that you and Ms. Han have been able to come up with a concept for your project? Would you mind giving me a brief outline?”

Soobin shares a look with B before he nods and smiles at Sir Kim. “Alright Sir, this is what we’ve come up with so far…”

•°•

“Okay, when you said we were all heading to the café together, for some reason, I thought we’d be walking.” B says, eyeing the big black vehicle parked close to the front steps of the school entrance.

Soobin scratches the back of his neck. “Well yeah we could walk, but walking there would take 15 minutes and driving there would only take 5, so…” he shrugs, and opens the passenger door for her. “Hop in?”

“But I called shotgun.” Kai whines, pouting. “I always sit shot gun.”

“Hush, let someone else have it, just this once. It’s her first day, after all.” Beomgyu says, dragging Kai with him into the back seat of the car with Taehyun following them.

“But I don’t like sitting at the back. It feels so crowded.” Kai continues to whine.

“It’s not crowded when it’s just Gyu, Yeonjun and I.” Taehyun remarks.

“…are you calling me fat?” Kai asks, while Beomgyu snickers.

“I mean, you can always sit in the back seat, Hyuka. My car can fit at least 7 people.” Soobin offers, shutting the passenger door and making his way over to the driver’s side.

Kai sighs, admitting defeat. “This is fine.”

“I’m actually not surprised that you have a car.” B says as they exit the school’s parking lot and head to the café. “It’s very convenient and I’m sure you’re more than capable of owning one. I should’ve asked my parents if I could have a car, or at least a bike. It would be so much easier than running to school everyday.”

“Did you run to school today, Baba? No offense, but you looked a bit flustered when we saw you this morning.” Kai asks.

“Yeah, I woke up late. I slept through 5 alarms.” B says, groaning. “I hope it doesn’t happen again tomorrow.”

Kai laughs out loud. “Why am I not surprised? You always were hard to wake up. I see you’re still a heavy sleeper. Do you live alone?”

B nods even though Kai probably couldn’t see her from the back seat. “Yeah, I convinced my parents to let me move into an apartment near the school. I’m surprised they actually agreed to it. I mean, you know how my parents are.”

“Ah, auntie and uncle still being overprotective?” Kai says knowingly.

“More like overbearing.” B says. “Thank god they let me transfer schools, too. I feel like for once in my life, I’m finally in charge.”

“I’m happy for you, Baba. You’ll have to fill me in on how you did it later.” Kai says, reaching over to squeeze her shoulder. B puts her hand over his and squeezes back. “Thanks, Ningning.” she says.

“Speaking of which, where do you live? If your plan is to walk to and from school everyday, then it must be pretty close.” Taehyun asks.

“Oh, it’s pretty near. It’s, oh-” B says, surprised when she looks out the window. “It’s actually that building right there, on the second floor.” she says, pointing to a building across the street.

The boys all turn to where she was pointing to while Soobin parks the car in front of the café. The building she was pointing to was right across the café.

“You live in that building right there?” Soobin asks, glancing along with the other boys.

“Yup, the second floor. Apartment 2B.” she says. “I chose it myself, made sure it was at a nice location and everything. Why do you all seem surprised?” she asks when she realizes that they were all staring at the building.

Taehyun laughs a bit shyly. “I actually live there too, with my parents and my older brother and sister. We’re in apartment 1D.”

“Oh wow, we’re neighbors! How do you get to school everyday? Maybe we could go together?” B asks excitedly.

“I usually just walk. And sure, I’d like that. Just make sure you’re out your door by 7 AM though, I’d rather have a relaxing walk than a panicked run on the way to school.” he says, half joking and half serious.

B laughs as she says. “Deal. I promise I’ll wake up on time. I just had a hard time waking up earlier today cause we had to be there earlier for the tour.”

As they step out of the car and head into the café, B looks at the interior. It was simple, spacious, and cozy. Even though there were several seats and different settings all along the interior, a lot of the seats were occupied. There was also a set of double glass doors that led into a small outdoor area with more seats. It was a nice café, and B could tell that it was frequently visited by students and workers alike.

“Hyunie, there you are! Quick, I saved you and your friends a table right here.” A woman says as she approaches the boys and gives Taehyun a quick kiss on the cheek. The boys smile and greet her.

“Thank you so much, auntie Kang.” Soobin says, giving her a quick peck on the cheek as he takes a seat. The other boys line up to follow suit.

“Oh hush now, no need to thank me. You boys are always welcome here. Speaking of, looks like you’re missing one? And you replaced him with a pretty girl!” Mrs. Kang says, opening her arms in B’s direction.

“Mom, this is B. She’s a childhood friend of Hyuka’s, and she just transferred to MOA.” Taehyun says, formally introducing B to his mom.

“Hello, Mrs. Kang. It’s really nice to meet you.” B says brightly.

“It’s nice to meet you too, dear. And it’s auntie Kang, to you.” Mrs. Kang says, pulling her in and giving her a quick peck on the cheek as she did with the boys. “It’s refreshing to see a girl around these boys.  A rose among the thorns. May I ask where Yeonjun is today, though? I’m sure those girls sitting in the corner are crushed to see you walk in here without him.”

B looks confused for a moment before she scans the café and spots the group of girls Mrs. Kang was referring to. There was a group of girls sitting at a table that kept stealing glances towards them. They were wearing a school uniform that looked unfamiliar to B, and when they caught her looking at them, they quickly looked away and started whispering amongst themselves.

“Wow, you boys. Your popularity knows no bounds.” B says, shaking her head as she takes a seat.

“It’s highly understandable dear, you can’t blame them. My Hyunnie and his friends are a handsome bunch.” Mrs. Kang says, ruffling the top of Taehyun’s hair. “I’m guessing you’re all having your usual?”

The boys all nod. “Thanks, Mrs. Kang. Let us know if you need any extra help.” Beomgyu says, smiling at her sweetly.

“You just stay put, sweetheart. I’ve got all the help I need.” Mrs. Kang says. “And what will you have, dear?” she asks, turning to B.

“Oh, I guess I’ll just have what Kai’s having?” she says, not really knowing what was available but trusting that Kai’s regular order would be good.

Mrs. Kang nods as the other boys snicker. “Coming right up! Hyunnie, meet you back there in a few?” she asks. Taehyun nods just as Mrs. Kang disappears behind the counter.

“This place looks amazing, Taehyun. And your mom is lovely.” B says as they all settle in.

“We come here every day for a reason!” Kai says, putting an arm around B’s shoulders. “Plus, their egg tarts are the best. They’re my favourite. I order 5 almost every time I come in here.”

B laughs as she realizes what she just ordered. “Are you telling me I’ve got 5 egg tarts coming up, too?”

The other boys laugh. “You could’ve looked at the menu first.” Soobin says pointedly.

“I know I know, but I trusted you!” B laughs, looking at Kai.

“Trust me when I say that you won’t be disappointed then. You’ll love the egg tarts, I promise.” Kai says reassuringly.

B is about to say something back to Kai just as she notices Soobin has his phone pointed in her direction. She quickly buries her face in Kai’s shoulder as she realizes that Soobin was taking a picture.

“Hey, don’t hide your face!” Soobin says. “That would’ve been such a good shot!” he says, pouting.

“Um, Soobin? What’s with the pictures?” Beomgyu asks.

B and Soobin share a look before Soobin answers. “B and I are partners for this project in our creative writing class.”

“Ooh, tell us more. And tell me, why do you have to take pictures of my dear best friend?” Kai says, squeezing B’s shoulders.

B laughs as she realizes he was being a bit protective. “It’s a bit weird, but okay. Soobin, you tell them.” she says.

And so he does.

•°•

“Thanks for walking me home. You know you didn’t have to.” B says as they climb up the stairs of the building.

“Anything for you, Baba. I want to be able that I was here for you all throughout your first day at MOA. Plus, I missed you and I don’t mind squeezing in a few extra moments of Baba and Ningning time.” Kai says as she leads him up the stairs. “And of course, I want to make sure that you get home safe.”

B laughs. “The café is right across the street, so you didn’t really have to worry about that.”

Kai scoffs. “I know, but still. It’s your first time living on your own, right? Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if auntie and uncle hired private security guards to watch over you from a distance.”

“That does sound like something they would do.” B says, a bit worried. “I mean it sounds creepy and a bit stalker-ish, but at least I know I’d be safe.” she says rationally.

Kai laughs. “That’s true. Letting you live on your own is a big step for them though, and you must feel pretty good about it too.”

B nods. “I feel free.” she says, letting out a sigh. “I still can’t believe they let me do it after everything that happened last year, but I think that’s also partly why they let me do it.”

There’s a moment of silence before Kai says “You know, you never really got to tell me the specifics of what happened. I mean, I know things were bad, but-”

“Don’t worry, I’ll tell you all about it soon. But this is my stop.” B says as they stop in front of a door labeled 2B. “When it’s just us two, and when we have loads of free time, I promise I’ll tell you all about it. I promise.” she says, when Kai looks hesitant to let it go.

Kai lets out a defeated sigh before saying “Fine, but we have to catch up soon. Maybe this weekend? You know my birthday’s coming up, right? Maybe we could do something then?”

B grins and says “How could I forget? And sure, anything you want. Do you wanna come in, by the way? You thirsty? Want anything?” she asks as she unlocks the door and opens it a crack.

Kai shakes his head. “I’m good for now, thanks. You should rest anyway, I’m sure it’s been a long day.”

“Thank you for walking me home, Ningning. And thanks for today. I couldn’t have asked for a better first day with a better best friend.” she says.

Kai smiles. “No problem, Baba. Anything for you. See you tomorrow!” he says, giving her a quick hug before turning around and leaving.

B enters her apartment and locks the door behind her. Just as she makes her way to her bedroom, her phone pings with a few notifications.

She smiles as she sees the messages from the boys. They had exchanged contacts details at the café, but she was surprised to see that even Yeonjun had sent her a message even though he didn’t get to hang out with them.

She and Soobin also set up new Instagram accounts to use for their creative writing project, but she was surprised to see that he posted something so soon. She makes a mental note to herself to check and reply to each boy’s message later, but first she checked the Instagram notification from Soobin.

She laughs when she sees Kai’s comment and wonders how he was able to see the post so fast. She then decides to like the post and leave a comment of her own.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #198

“i woke up on the wrong side of my floor.”

What do you get tired of having to explain? It's not something asked frequently at all, but since I had to to new doctors and ER workers etc., I'm not a fan of re-telling the break-up story with Jason. What perk of being “grown up” lived up to your childhood expectations? Independence, though I. Don't act on it much with my dependent ass. Who is your least favorite character in the last show you watched? Shoot me, Sara and Con, but so far Zuko as a villain doesn't impress me. If you weren’t in a relationship with your significant other (or last) and you met them for the first time tonight, would you hook up with them? I wouldn't "hook up" with anyone. Is there a place that makes you sad to return to? It's just better for me to stay away from the place Jason and I took our first prom pictures. I actually returned there last fall to take pictures however; I was fine, but it still felt weird. What is the most morally questionable thing that you’ve done? Idk. Has anyone ever surprised you by changing when you didn’t believe that they could? Dad, 100%. What is the best advice a sibling has given you? Something from Ashley regarding the break-up when I was starting to recover, but I can't remember exactly what. Was there an opportunity that you feel like you missed out on in high school? Hm... thought about this quite a bit, and I actually don't think so? I mean I wish my mental health had been better, but I overall had a fair experience. What was the biggest lie you’ve told a significant other? Idk, it's just about impossible for me to tell an s/o a serious lie; or small ones, for that matter. Maybe that I wasn't mad about something when I was? Idk. Have you ever treated someone badly because someone else treated you badly? I'm sure I have at some point, just not deliberately. What is your favorite lyric from your favorite band? Don't- What is the worst thing you’ve said or done while PMSing? Boy, I've done some dumb shit. Probably self-harm (no, it's not something I do now). Did you have an irrational childhood fear? Oh, I'm sure. None are coming to me now... Well, do you consider serious separation anxiety "irrational?" Do you and your significant other have ‘a song’? What is it? Oh boy, a lot. "Pretty Woman" by Van Halen and Paramore's "The Only Exception" get me the most, though. Do you ever give things away to your friends? Don't really have anyone to do that with. Is there anyone’s friendship or relationship, in particular, that makes you jealous? Nope. Well, it'd be absolutely incredible to have a friendship (so in this case, not counting Sara) like Rhett and Link. I'm not even remotely kidding, they were the ones that made me question my former, humiliating outlook on homosexuality because my heart just yelled at me to ship them & I still do lol. Do you have anyone’s tweets sent directly to your phone? Whose? No. Have you ever caused a lot of noise in a library? No. Do you complain a lot? Eh, depends on the day and subject. Have you ever been to a music festival? Yes, but only to take pictures for a photography class. What was the last thing that completely took your breath away? The blood wolf moon. I stayed up 'til like, 2-3-something to see totality, and it was fucking incredible. I hadn't seen a full lunar eclipse since I was a kid. If your life was a movie, what would it be rated? R, probably... mostly due to excessive cursing lmao. Are you more of a talker or a listener? A listener. Have you ever called in at a radio station & dedicated a song to someone? No. Would you ever go to a protest or be involved in a protest? Sure. When playing rock, paper, scissors which do you usually pick? I think scissors. Have you ever tried to write a book? Yes. Have you ever been hit by a chunk of hail? Maybe a small one? Would you ever try any extreme sports? No. Is it true that if you don’t love yourself, you can’t love another? I've always found that idea as absolute and utter bullshit. Do you ever try making your dream up before falling asleep? I just daydream; I don't like, actively hope it'll transfer into a legitimate dream. Ever been on a golf cart? Yes. Have you ever slapped someone in the face? No. Last person you took a nap with? Sara. Are you embarrassed by anything you have in your bedroom? No. Is your last ex currently in a relationship? Not to my knowledge. Has anyone ever given you roses? Yeah. Would you rather have your parents catch you having sex or smoking weed? asjfpawe quite honestly, smoking weed. The former would probs kill me. Do you owe anybody money? No. How many times have you gotten into a argument with the last person you kissed? Now as adults and not stupid kids, just a handful. Maybe just one or two serious ones. What’s the most positive thing anyone has ever said about you? When I actually had a brain, compliments I got regarding my intelligence meant a lot. Maybe there's something else, but that's just the first that came to mind. What’s the most positive thing you would say about yourself right now? I'm very empathetic and care a lot about cheering people up. Have you ever been to church? What was it like? I grew up going to church, and at no point in my life did I enjoy it. When I was old enough to not be forced to go, I quickly stopped, even when I was still religious. What’s your favorite thing to do on a sunny day? If it's not hot, swim. How many different drugs have you tried? None that weren't prescription. List each drug, and how it made you feel. N/A Which drug do you consider to be your favorite (including alcohol)? Well, I don't even like the taste of alcohol... but I guess that has to be the answer as it's the only one I'll ever indulge in. Who have you had sex with in order from best to worst (you can use initials if you want)? Only done it with one person. What’s your favorite kind of alcoholic beverage? Margaritas. Do you feel like different alcohols have different effects on you? No. Honestly, how good do you think you are in bed? What about oral? Eh, I'm shy, but I don't think I'm bad. It was good enough to get the job done, at least. I fucking hated oral so therefore rarely did it, so idk. What’s your biggest thing you want to accomplish? Overcoming my hard-as-diamonds anxiety. Three favorite candies. Go. Reese's. Sour Punch Straws. Peach rings. What was the last stupid thing someone talked you into believing? Idk. What’s a song that would describe your life at the moment? I legit feel "In The End" by Linkin Park pretty deeply of the late. Man, somehow been a year and still R.I.P. Chester. ;_; What was the last thing that you shared? Idk. Do you ever eat leftover pizza cold? I love cold pizza. Where are you the most ticklish? FEET. When you’re wanting a midnight snack, what do you normally get? I don't have them. Which cartoon character would you want to keep as a pet? Maybe Vulpix. Small and cute and isn't like, actually on fire. Have you ever considered a career in music/acting? No. When was the last time you felt seriously embarrassed? At a VR class when I was talking and completely lost my train of thought and caused like five awkward silences. If your bedroom walls could talk, what would they most likely say? "Bitch u ever move?" Did you ever really believe in Santa Claus? Yes. Have you ever seen a movie that was better than the book it was based on? Maybe? I'm unsure, but I doubt it. Did you like the show Invader Zim? I never really watched it. What’s the greatest/most influential song you’ve ever heard? Ozzy's "Life Won't Wait." Have you ever bought yourself a present at Christmas? I mean, I've been given money to buy something myself. Is there someone that you’re mean to for no good reason? No? I have damn good reason to be unfriendly to Bentley, but not mean. What was the last thing you got out of the freezer? A rat for Venus. How many people signed you latest yearbook? Not too many, but I didn't ask a lot to. How is your mom today? Probably the same as always: Tired and stressed. Do you prefer long or short hair on the opposite sex? Generally, longer hair. But of course it varies on the person. Would you swap your first name for your middle? No, that would sound so weird. Plus I like my name. Would you rather have 10 siblings or be an only? Hm... growing up as an only child would suck, I think. Ten is a hell of a lot, but I'd prefer that over none. What is your favorite soda? Mountain Dew Voltage is my Achilles' heel. Do like country music? No. It's seldom I'll like any. Tim McGraw impresses me most of the time, though, but not to where I'll go look up a song and binge it. Are you afraid of black cats? Not at all. Do you watch the lightning during storms? No, I stay inside. If I'm in a car though, I keep an eye out. Do you like Scentsy stuff? Sure, but I don't buy anything from it. Do you like House? Never seen it. How many tracks were on the last album you listened to? Idr. Which one of your relatives is most likely to embarrass you? Probably Dad. The way he interacts with some people is kinda... weird to where people may feel like he's being rude, when he in no way intends it. You can tell some people don't get him. Are there any songs in your iTunes library that you’ve never listened to? No. Who is the most intelligent person you know? My psychiatrist probably qualifies as a genius. Who was the last female you were introduced to? My personal VR coach. Who was the last male you were introduced to? I have no idea. Who is that last person who harassed and annoyed you? I feel like it was some kid that annoyed me, but idr. Who is the last person who made you feel hurt? Probably Mom. What was the last thing you were worried about? My job future. Are you worried about anyone now? Not really. What time of day feels the most magical to you? Early morning, especially when it's dewy with a light mist and a pink sky as the sun starts to rise... whew. Love it. Who are you jealous of? My sisters and an old friend that's a professional photographer now. What is the last physical ailment you took medication for? Nausea. If you are a YouTuber, are you behind on posting videos? N/A Who is a great YouTuber you have recently discovered? Not really anyone recently. What color is your bathrobe? I don't have one. What is a great pain reliever? Depends on the pain? Are you interested in a guy who has a girlfriend? No. Do you sell any products? If so, what do you sell? No. Are you responsible with money? I believe so, having learned to be very frugal from growing up poor. My weakness is tats, though... I have to make a genuine effort to save for other things. Are you responsible in general? Not very, honestly... but it also depends on what I have responsibility over. Do you use a nightlight? No. Kaiju's and Venus' lights stay on, however, if you wanna count that. Do you have a girl that is strictly a friend that isn’t related to you that you can go to? Not really. Are you “the good guy”, or “the bad guy”, or somewhere in between? I guess the good guy? Have you ever watched the original British Skins? No, nor the American. It disgusted me. Do you like Oreos? Hell yeah. Have you ever had a sex dream about someone you barely know? I don't believe so. Were you a cute baby? I was, dude. Would you ever shoot someone right in the face? If it was in self-defense with someone trying to seriously hurt or kill me, that's right where I'd aim. Have you ever sold drugs? No. Have you ever been shot? No. Are you on good terms with your parents? Yeah. What’s your opinion on border control? It's necessary for the protection of our country. I'm totally for legal immigration, mind you. Have you had any major tragedies in your life? I'd say one event qualifies. What do you think of open casket funerals? No opinion, I think... A part of me feels like the risk of someone disrespecting the body isn't worth it, but simultaneously I firmly feel the actual family and those very close to this person have the right to see them one final time looking at peace. Have you ever had a pet rat? Quite a number. I had two pairs where three died of unknown causes, while one developed cancer and passed. Went through two that died last year; one had to be sick upon adopting her, as she passed very quickly, and her sister immediately followed suit. Adopted Mitsu, later another to try to give her a partner (rats are social and aren't supposed to live alone), but she'd already grown territorial, so the sweetheart had to be returned. Now I just have Mitsu. Could you go a year without sex? It's already been three, and longer wouldn't matter to me. Have you ever wore pajamas a whole straight week? I'm just about always at home in my pj's, and considering I leave like, never... but not the same pair that long. Have you ever waxed your legs? No. Have you ever taught a little kid to flick people off? The fuck, no. Are you more of a taker or giver? Giver. Have you ever itched yourself until your skin was raw? I have permanent scars on both shins from that; my skin becomes unbearably itchy after I shave and then scrub my legs in the shower. Nothing seems to stop it. Do you always clear your history after using the computer? No. Have you ever been chased by a cat? Playing with kittens/juveniles, probably, considering just how many we've had throughout my life. Have you ever had your food stolen by a bird? No. Have you ever dyed your hair light auburn? No. Do you take really good care of your feet? Run now w/ potential TMI: My feet are like. Nothing but thicc calluses from when I would walk like crazy. I haven't been able to get rid of them for nothing, and it's been YEARS. Like, I probably need a professional for this shit lmao. My nails are fine and I keep them clean, it's just the callus ordeal. Is the snow where you live the icey kind or powdery kind? It can be either. Do you get blizzards where you live? I think we've only had one that qualified in my entire life. Can't remember if the wind was bad... What’s the coldest you can remember it ever being? With the wind chill, it was actually around 2 degrees, I think. When was the last time you did something rebellious? Um. Idk. What are your favorite things to create? OCs. What’s an old hobby that you want to pick back up? Reading. :/ Do you ever read books to a pet? No. Which has better craft supplies: Dollar Tree or Dollar General? I have zero clue. Which dollar store do you shop at the most? I think Dollar General? What color is your trash can in your bedroom? I don't have one in here. What was the theme of your childhood bedroom? Baby animals. What color was your nursery as a baby? Idr. What was the last surgery you had? A cyst removal. What’s something you prefer to keep private? Lol yeah, ask that on a survey I'mma share with the Internet. What is something cheesy your high school’s principal has said? Idr. I don't remember much of him other than he was a goddamn ass. Are you more of a rule breaker or rule follower? Depends, but typically, a follower. Are you good at prioritizing? Idk. Which holiday is your favorite to decorate for? HALLOFUCKINWEEN If you’re not religious, were you ever? What made you lose faith? I was raised religious, but just life in general brought me to just theism, which I don't really consider a "real" religion. Is there a particular tradition that you follow from your heritage? No. What are your thoughts on where feminism is today? Yo calm your tits. How would you describe your aesthetic? Likes pastel and soft things but is also gore-crazed and obsessed with dark shit that'll probably lead me to Hell. Are you at all interested in philosophy/theory? If so, what philosopher/theorist caught your attention? If not, would you ever consider reading any? YES; however, as someone with OCD that heavily manifests itself as incredulous ruminations to the point I face breakdowns, I try to avoid philosophical debates. No one in specific has caught my attention, but I mean, I haven't exactly made an effort to learn about anyone. Have you ever played any virtual reality games? What was that like? If not, would you ever like to try? No, but I would LOVE to. Is there anything about technology that scares you? The potential it has to reaching some form of sentience the more and more we advance with it. I ain't about that singularity shit. What’s a song that you know that does a lot of wordplay or anything that you find clever? Shit dude, lots of Otep songs. She can make rhymes and such with the creepiest shit. Bring me back the Otep whose music wasn't just political ranting, please. What do you do before you go to bed? The last thing I usually do is DragonVale. Where did you last go out to eat? Hardee's. Do you have unlimited texting? Yeah. Who of the opposite sex has seen you at your worst? Jason or Girt. Girt came to the ER after my suicide attempt, my lowest of low points, while Jason saw me in absolute hysterics the night of the break-up when I said something suicidal so he came here briefly. I feel each was like... a different kind of "worst," if that makes sense. One was absolute, utter defeat, while the other was seeing a human absolutely shatter. Have you ever won anything from the radio? No. Will you keep your last name when you get married? No. What song are you listening to? Shane Dawson's "Fuck Up" is a Big Mood. Do you know anyone whose name starts with an X? Not that I know personally, I think. When was the last time you took a picture with your pet(s)? Roman like over a month ago, Venus a while before... I rarely take pictures including me because I'm ugly. Who’s your favorite Muppet? I don't know like, any. What’s your favorite monster? (can be Monsters Inc., horror films, stories, or myths, whatever) These are too many options man. I guess probably Pyramid Head. But I'm crazy for cryptids too man, I love me some Jersey Devil and Mothman shit. Have you ever seen a polar bear in person? At zoos. What’s your favorite thing to order from Taco Bell? If you heard me eating cinnabon delights in the next room, you'd have all reason to believe a porno was being filmed. What do you think of off-brand soda? I'm fine with them. Which do you like better – carpet or wood floor? I generally find wood prettier, but carpet is comfier. Getting down on and up off the wooden floor when exercising hurts, though. Buuut wood is also easier to clean... but also louder... why the fuck am I getting this deep into a question jeez idk basically. What embarrasses you the most in front of other people? Being a 23 y/o teenage fangirl lmao. Have you considered running for president? Hell no. If you had to choose one thing you were most passionate about, what would it be and why? Hm... there's a lot. I suppose ending poverty? Or environmental preservation, which I am already extremely passionate about, but I could actually take more action. Where is the most beautiful place on earth and why? I'd imagine the Grand Canyon. It's so vast and ancient and gives you an idea of just how small we truly are. Are ghosts real? Yes. Are aliens real? Probably. Do you know how to play dominoes? No. What food will you absolutely not, under any circumstances, eat? Anything from an endangered animal. Would you ever adopt a child? If I wanted kids, possibly. What is one thing you’re embarrassed to admit you want to try? *shrugs* Is there something you wish you had said sorry for but never did? I wish I'd told Jenna about the Joel thing. Have you been on your first date? If so, how did it go? Yeah, it was fine. Cute really, though unorthodox as he invited my mother along. It actually did make me less nervous tho. What woke you up this morning? My cat meowing his damn brains out. He does this loud, deep meow when he really wants something, and it woke me up. He does that some mornings, and I have no clue why. Your mood? Eh, nervous. I have a short VR class today, and I have to talk to the woman who handles my case, and I don't believe she'll be happy I haven't applied anywhere yet, even though it's been like, five days... I've been working on getting an Office certificate instead. Did you ever watch The Land Before Time when you were younger? I WAS IN LOVE. Do you check your texts right away when you receive them? Usually. What feeling do you have the most difficulty in expressing? Envy. How do you think you would handle yourself in a crisis situation? Have an absolute panic attack and die lmao. But it also depends on if anyone is in the situation with me. Like if someone I seriously loved was endangered, I have a feeling I'd rush to immediately help them. Does any particular season make you happier than others? Why/why not? Autumn. Beautiful and cool. In what circumstances do you feel most at peace? When I'm with Sara and we're both happy and laughing. :') What is the best thing about being a male/female? Female: It's more "socially acceptable" to show emotions. Male: Don't have to worry about menstruation cycles. Do you enjoy hugging people? Do you enjoy receiving hugs? Yeah. Do you think that luck has much to play in your life? No. I don't believe people have premeditated-by-nature good or bad luck. It's all random or related to your own choices. Do you think you are competitive? Do you really dislike losing? In only a few areas; no. What is a talent you wish you possessed? The ability to draw hyperrealistically. When was the last time you went to McDonald’s? It's been quite a while. Maybe around a month. Could you go a whole day without your computer? Definitely not willingly. Have you ever really liked someone to begin with, then changed your mind about them? Yeah, Juan. Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone, for more than half an hour? What did you talk about? Most likely Colleen. It was a personal matter, so not saying. Has your ex fallen in love with anyone else, since the two of you broke up? I'm assuming Jason did with Ashley, maybe not. When was the last time you looked at your significant other/crush’s Facebook profile? Been a while. What was the last thing that one of your parents bought for you? Food for me. The last time you went to the hairdressers, what did you have done? A muuuch-needed trim.