#it'd almost be funnier out of context

[fandomsandfeminism]

Jordan Reverses Himself and Will Push for a Third Speaker Vote

Here is the recap-

Republicans, continuing their tradition of playing stupid games and being shocked when they win stupid prizes, kicked Kevin McCarthy out of his post of Speaker of the House.

For context, Kevin McCarthy had a fucking awful time getting the job back in January, needing like 15 tries and a bunch of stupid placating and bootlicking the MAGA nuts. An incredible moment in US history. So many memes. Republicans almost getting into fist fights on the floor on the House. Embarrassing Chaos. and they STILL FUCKING KICKED MCCARTHY OUT. AFTER ALL THAT. (Probably because he compromised with Democrats to temporarily fund the government while they argued about the budget) Embarrassing.

They fire McCarthy with no backup plan. To be clear, this is intentional. The MAGA fuckers want to break the government. Also no one wants to be Speaker. It's an awful job.

Ok, so then they have to decide who will be the new speaker. Trump suggests Jim Jordan. There is a secret republican ballot. Jordan loses to some other guy (Scalise.) Ha.

Once it's time for the real vote (with the democrats and all)- unity shatters and Scalise can't carry the vote. He says he doesn't want it anymore.

So fine, Jim Jordan. Let's go.

He loses.

A bunch of Republicans hate him. He is suuuuper implicated in Jan 6 and is a scumbag.

He tries again.

He loses. Again. Worse than the first time. Hilarious. Humiliating.

Everyone is like "not this shit again. Can we just let the temporary speaker be the speaker until January so the House can like...function while the Republicans figure their shit out?"

Jim Jordan says he'll go along with this plan on TV. Because publically losing the Speaker vote multiple times is humiliating.

The MAGAs loose their FUCKING MINDS because this was a Democrat idea so its BAD. How DARE YOU WE JUST FIRED MCARTHY FOR COMPROMISING WITH THE DEMS.

Jim Jordan says FINE, I take it back. I'll try again.

We don't have a third vote scheduled.

It'd be funnier if the clowns weren't running OUR circus, ya know?

[sparks-and-wires]

2P China General Headcanons

⚕️ Wang Xiao, always looks to be in his early to late thirties

⚕️ Used to be a doctor until Oliver introduced him to opium. From there all hell broke loose and he ended up losing his medical practice and license after a few too many close calls, and.. him showing up to work high as a kite. Hates Oliver with a burning passion because of it to this day.

⚕️ After that he just ran on the money that the government gave him to function for the most part. Knows very well it's his own fault for allowing it to get this bad, that he should've gone to rehab much sooner than he did.

⚕️ He thinks he can control himself now, only smokes medical marijuana to help with his back issues. Screws up a lot and goes back to using opiods when he gets so overwhelmed that he can't take it anymore. Always swears it'd be the last time, is clean for months maybe years at a time, it never seems to last.

⚕️ He turned Kuro against him completely on 'accident' he tells people. Worked too much, spent too little time watching him, never picked up the phone when he was needed. He knows he screwed up prioritizing his work over his family, and he paid for it. Kuro won't even pick up the phone when he calls anymore, there isn't even apologies in the world to fix it. Kuro wouldn't even tell him what happened the day he entirely shut others out, but he regrets not picking up the phone.

⚕️ Now he's left in an empty house most of the time. He's invited women quite regularly, usually just one night stands so he can ignore the silence.

⚕️Switched to hookers when women thought he was a lost cause, being an addict just seems to turn all the people he wanted away. Ultimately gave up on love and dating because of it. Painfully lonely.

⚕️ He's utterly bitter most of the time, and has no one to blame but himself. Complains to anyone who will listen about how much his life is a wreck, wishes he could take the advice people gave him and actually use it. None of it seems to sink in though.

⚕️ Hated having to ally with Oliver in any war and would try to kill him on many occasion he could and claim it as 'friendly fire'. People turned it around on him despite Xiao never holding deep seeded grudges against anyone else. He just learned to keep his mouth shut in regards to politics after that unless he needed something.

⚕️ Very easy to piss off, Xiao has a lot of pent up anger after all these years, and he's still strong enough as a nation to crack your skull in with ease. Taunting him about the past, his drug usage, or saying that he's going to die alone is a one way ticket to the hospital.

⚕️ Actually rather easy to get along with after he realizes you're not just wanting to mess with him. Never forces anyone to stay, never allows himself to be selfish and clingy. Just chatters on however long you let him, it's funnier when he's high because a lot of what he says often only makes sense later on when you think really hard. If you call, he picks up. He learned his lesson a long time ago.

⚕️ If you keep coming back, it's your own fault for what happens next. The infatuation, the almost paranoid need to know where you are all the time and that you're safe, then the apologies for being overbearing and screwing up when he oversteps his boundaries. Honestly he can look so pitiful when he's on his knees apologizing like he's praying.

⚕️ He's like this with anyone who stays with him regardless of the context of your relationship. But the thought of a romantic partner leaving him for yet another screw up has him wanting to use again. The thought just puts him through a lot more distress than losing a close friend.

⚕️ That being said he'll treat you like a saint and be super judgy about those in your life other than him. Criticizes your family, friends, you quite literally have to tell him to shut up and give him a icy glare to get him to stop.

⚕️ It's only then that he explains he's only nitpicking interactions based on some bad situations he's had in the past, and he was just trying to warn you when he thinks you're going to be hurt. Bad thing is, he's usually right about it.

⚕️ He knows he can be overly mean, pessimistic, and overall just a huge pain in the ass sometimes but he means well. He swears up and down he does.

⚕️ Clingy as hell, will get all up in your personal space, spawl himself over you, put his head in your lap, lean against your shoulder anytime he feels like it.

⚕️ Praise makes him shut down immediately in the "I'm sorry, what did you just say?" sort of way. Doesn't usually believe what you say unless you say it enough to pound it into his head that he still has some positive traits left.

⚕️ Probably one of the strangest things about him, he likes insects. Not in the 'oh I just think they're neat' type of way, he just picks up bugs and shows them to others with a 'aren't they cute?'. Sorry if you like this man and are afraid of bugs. You're getting exposure therapy.

⚕️ Has a panda like his 1P counterpart, it only comes around to be fed though. He has no want to control its movements and carry it around.

[electronicdelusionstarlight]

Might as well do a masterpost of, like, Epic the Musical takes.

A) Literally only found out about this thing because someone did a Slay the Princess video of the Broken and Apotheosis doing the 600 Strikes Torture Scene with Contrarian's "Giant Fuck Off Mega Pristine Blade"™ instead of the Trident, because "Look what you turned me into, look what we've become" is such a them line, and I decided to go check the original to know what the fuck was the context, and "After everything you've done, how will you sleep at night?" "Next to my wife" has had a grip on my brain ever since.

B) I know people doing the Warrior Penelope AU are being ahistorical because Sparta wasn't like that during the Iliad time but honestly it'd be 100 times funnier for the AU if Sparta isn't the mega military focused city state and Penelope is still 100% like that by her own design.

C) The someone will die of Fun but it's Penelope and Clytenmestra doing the Someone will die and Helen doing the Of Fun.

D) I know people love to do the "Ares pogs as Odysseus kills the Suitors" meme but let's face it Odysseus is being a Skyrim Stealth Archer about it he would be backseating him the entire time and bitching about it if he was seeing it.

E) He would however instantly drop it and pog as harder than ever before right at the end during the weapon room's massacre because 1) Telemachus is essentially doing an hopeless fight outnumbered outgunned surrounded on all sides and he's still facing them head on with no trickery and 2) By that point the stealth archer section is over the Suitors are trapped in a confined space unable to flee and Odysseus can just mow them down like wheat at the harvest after having psychologically and physically broken them, now THAT is a massacre.

F) By contrast Aphrodite should be the one pogging at the Stealth Archer section, because damn this guy really is willing to go to extreme lengths to avenge and protect his loved ones uh, and Ares should be the one bawling his eyes out during the Telemachus and Odysseus song, because it's funny and also daddy issues.

G) Still weird I haven't seen yet anyone going "This whole thing was a Poseidon's long con to ruin and break his Rival Athena's prized mortal and pet project and in the end despite being tortured despite Odysseus was still loved and capable of love he still thinks he won because he'll never be the perfect Warrior of the Mind Athena envisioned now, because he deludes himself into thinking that was the most important part."

H) Epic the Musical but it's a representation of the almost 20 years of Post One More Day Spider-Man. Almost no one will get this one sorry. Mephisto gets 600 Striked. Black Cat as Circe going "damn this guy really loves his wife, that's based." Mayday is Telemachus.

I) I think the Ares Patron of Penelope AUs do not build enough the sheer comedy of both Ares and Athena pet mortal projects meeting up and falling in love enough.

I also haven't really seen many POV switch of like Penelope POV: Sees Lord Ares as some big dude in Armour Odysseus POV: "Why is that screaming striding blood soaked pillar of steel and anguish near with my rival/future wife? Any comment on that Athena, my completely human looking if quite tall god patron?" And here's Athena as a owl eyed Bloodborne abomination in Penelope's POV.

I also think they should still keep Penelope home and Odysseus to War, and then essentially have as a major theme the two of them "switching Patrons," with Penelope having to use trickery and being unable to outright murder the Suitors, and Odysseus having to carve a bloody gash through the sea to get back to his wife, because that's symmetry.

L) I'll never stop thinking about the fact they made him a wife guy, like, THE most obvious setup ever for an adaptation but everyone else believed in Roman Slander, a travesty, I apologize for the sins of my predecessors and all that.

M) That's it that's the post.

[danidoesathing]

Oooh, yes! Viktor and Jayce not realizing that the other is "themself" until it's almost too late! (I think Viktor would realize first, after he temporarily dissipated the Hexcore's illusion of him: Jayce's heartbroken reaction and subsequent rage would likely make him go "wait, is this actually the Hexcore? He's way too upset at this". And meanwhile, Jayce only realizes that Viktor's actually Viktor just before or during the final battle-which doesn't really help, since it just flips his obsession onto the Machine Herald instead.)

It feels only right for Viktor to get his orange/gold color scheme back as he moves away from the Hexcore's influence. (The aesthetic I see for post-Odyssey Viktor is a bit of a merge between the conventional Machine Herald design and the big Cosmic form in the Astral Plane, with a Space Sci-Fi Aesthetic. (Like, a thinner Machine Herald with armor more akin to Sci-Fi Power Armor than knight armor, lit with glowing gold TRON lines, and a Hexcore that has Zero-G debris surrounding it. He's also weirdly ethereal in some ways-not in the "divinity/god" way, but in the "Spacefarer/alien emissary" way.)

Yeah, the Mage could've sent Viktor to an abandoned facility with Ora-but sending him to the crew of the Morning Star was way funnier. This way, Viktor gets the Ora, goes on the wildest trip of his life, and can't get out of Making Friends. (He does get Found-Family'd.)

(Also, if Viktor succeeds and shatters the Hexcore's influence, Jayce is going to be horrified at how he hurt his friends and family in the depths of his obsession.)

(Also, I think it would be fun to call this variant of your Herald of Tomorrow AU the "Herald of a Space-Faring Tomorrow" AU. It has an old timey, Pulp Sci-Fi feel to it in a way that feels fitting of Odyssey, and it ties into Viktor using Futuristic Space Technology to help the people of Zaun.)

exactly they are inherently tragic bitches who cannot communicate until its too late <3 viktor still has that slight hope but doesn't want to delude himself and risk everything for a very very slim maybe. It's not until the hexcore is interrupted/incapacitated that jayce realizes that it's actually the real viktor. and even then he's still thinking that he's under the influence of Ora rather than straight up possession, because he still cant figure out why would viktor be fighting him.

(idk if viktor would do the same "blast through the chest murder but not really murder" thing jayce does in either this or the base herald of tomorrow au, but i do think it'd be wonderfully fucked up if in the base au there was a scene like that. in the odyssey one, he might do it off the bat like jayce in the show, but the base au viktor wouldnt do it unless he got cornered. jayce is fully confident that viktor wouldnt hurt him until the hexclaw shoots right through his chest. utterly fucked up <3!!)

i do like the idea of taking the design parts of the Machine Herald (a version that of viktor that was built by himself, for himself with his own bare hands) but still keeping the primary design of the Arcane Herald (in sorta in the same way jayce giopara and jayce talis have inherently different designs. they're the same technically dude but still distinctly different). also a space sci-fi herald look would go hard no matter the context.

mage viktor: jayce usually gets sent to the hellscape pit to harden him and get through to him how awful this world is so he can kill the other me. and viktor you get uhhh [checks notes] sci-fi space dimension with a ragtag group of outlaws that you'll slowly come to trust and care for as you look for a way home.

viktor: fuck. cant you just send me to the pit

mage viktor: no. learn to rely on others

[subnaut1ca]

I gotta reqatch the monogatari series again cause I wanna recontextualize everything as an adult and better kinda understand everything, as I kid I loved that show for it's weirdness and it's thoughtful moments and style, and don't get me wrong it's fucking ridiculous humor. But a lot of the time I think I was too young to understand a lot of the problematic parts like araragis crazy siscon shit and hachikuji shit which ik had some context, but I think that's why it'd be good to watch it again as an adult so I can truly understand why these things were written and done to really filly fledge out my own take. I have considered it to be one of my top 10 anime for a long time, but I feel like since my opinion is outdated and I haven't watched it in a while, I can't walk around confidently saying I love it without properly explaining why, rather than giving better more mature reasons why. In my memory araragi was a much better and funnier albeit perv and crazy person in my memory, but rereading threads and videos, and clips of the show he looks like a fucking evil pedo incest monster. In my memory he was neither here nor there about these things, and maybe resistant to Karen's abrasive feelings and actions, but some things I see and hear tell more of his crazy shit rather than the things he did to be complacent or maybe whisked by it. Do I believe araragi is a bad and overall insane person, yes, but his character has more to it that makes him interesting, and I want to revisit that, because I remember while he's like that, he's also a person that wants to help people cause that's just part of his moral code, he respects things about people in a way, but that doesn't get rid of him being a bad person for the shit he does to hachikuji, or weird shit with his sisters, it just adds complicated layers to him. So, I want to rewatch it again what like 6-7 years later, so I can have a more nuanced opinion of why I like it, and understand the problematic as well as narrative parts of this shoe I claim to loge so much. I'm not a kid anymore, I can't just claim I like this thong for it's artistic visuals and animation style, or it's hyperbolic interesting layered characters, or it's stupid parody that goes so far to almost loop back again in an ironic way, because it's all covered in a haze, and I must clear it out so I can see woth a more intelligent mind and mature view to form a real opinion on the show and it's characters.

[ask-aku]

Aku holding a banana, for your Aku holding a banana needs. From this.