#it's just...just Price and Raven and Ghost LOL

[gomzdrawfr]

Talofa! I don't know if your inbox are open. But I'm curious about your OC Raven and Jelly! (They are so CUTE by the way! LOVE THEM!) If you don't want to answer it then it's okay!

I know their relationships with their soulmates (Raven with Price and Jelly with Ghost) but I want to know of their relationships with the OTHER members.

Like their relationships with Laswell, Nikolai, Gaz, Soap, Rudy- EVERYONE!

And by the way, LOVE your art style! SO ADORABLE!

Greetings!! thank you for the ask :D I'll try my best to explain them because I...I have not considered most of the characters KAJSHDKAJ so I hope you don't mind some of the more meh ish responses, if I didn't list down the characters, that means they have not met them! (dividers by @/cafekitsune)

The characters are arranged in descending order of closeness :3

Let's start with Jelly

Fish [OC]

((this is still in progress and development but)) Fish is my medic OC. He's like a brother figure to Jelly, had babysat her during childhood until teenage years. Their bond deepened when they reunited at the base where Fish worked, often met up and hang out in his office yapping about her latest hyperfixations, ships and anime.

Simon Ghost Riley

Jelly first got to know Ghost by inspecting his weapons. She was impressed by how perfectly maintained they were so she didn't think too much of his reputations and rumours. But the moment she met him she thought he was here to take her out LOL xD she can’t believe they ended up together to this day.

Eira Raven Liu [OC]

Raven saved Jelly's life without Jelly's knowledge (for reasons yet to be discussed), pulled the right strings here and there, vouched for her skills and landed her a spot as a weapon specialist + tech unit for the team. Jelly sort of sees Raven like her senior (calling her "senpai") and elder sister kind of vibe.

Kate Laswell

is terrified but thankful for her because of the whole "don't fk with me" vibe Kate has, but eventually realized how supportive she could be and got along well. Kate’s even invited her over for dinner a few times with her wife, which still blows Jelly’s mind :3

John Price

Jelly admires Price for being, well—John motherflipping Price. But let’s be real what she really can’t get over is him and Raven as a couple LMAO she’s their #1 fangirl and is not subtle about it, wrote a few fanfictions inspired by their dynamic too HAHA

Kyle Gaz Garrick

Partner for field setups and troubleshooting, they're pretty chill cause of how Gaz is able to share jokes with her.

John Soap Mactavish

Wondered if Ghost and him are-was a thing, is not bothered by it if they were (it's not like she already have a few google doc opened writing about two characters inspired by Ghost and Soap-)

Soap calls her Jellybean sometimes, I think they're chill too.

Alejandro Vargas

Flustered around Alejandro because she thinks he's drop dead gorgeous, has a hard time forming complete sentences whenever he’s nearby (yes, Ghost is silently jealous about it)

Rodolfo Parra

Intimated by Rudy sometimes but likes his cooking, also fangirls over Alejandro and Rudy.

König

accidentally mistaken König for Ghost -> is embarrassed and mortified about it -> surprisingly bonded well over niche topics

and for Raven, she's knows almost all the COD characters given her background and access to information, though she chose not to meet some of them. Note, these aren't arrange based on closeness since it's hard to show it, just more like people she has been involved with some comments xD

John Price

I could go on and on and on about them but I'll keep it simple. Currently, Price is Raven's fiancé, they've build their relationship from shaky grounds with many many downs and mistakes, but she'll take a bullet for him anytime. They've reached a point of codependency at this point I guess.

Kate Laswell

As someone who has history with intelligence work, she's cautious with CIA agents. It rubbed her the wrong way when Kate managed to dig up fragments of Raven's past, things she'd rather buried it six feet underground. I guess she felt intrusive about it even though she expected something like to happen. Despite this though, Raven doesn't hate Kate, she respects her for what she does. She prefers to keep Kate at arm's length, their relationship is civil but Raven tends to keep it professional.

Kyle Gaz Garrick

Gaz was the first to know about Raven from Price, and was there during her treatment of her back injury, so they're sort of solid buddies then.

Jelly [OC]

Raven has always struggled to express her affection for Jelly, not out of lack of feeling, but because she’s never been one to show her emotions easily. There’s something about Jelly that pulls at Raven in a way no one else ever has. Raven sees a reflection of herself in Jelly—someone who had the brains and abilities that would've surpasses her if it wasn't for the mission that severely wounded Jelly's nerves. It’s a side of herself Raven doesn’t often recognize in others. As such, she is extremely protective of Jelly. Let's just say the conversation with Ghost was uhhh....intense? xD (knives were involved and a clear message was sent)

Raven: really? him? Jelly- Jelly: He's uh....he's nice!!! Raven: *long sigh*

Simon Ghost Riley

Rocky af start, neither of them trust each other. Ghost didn't like the fact that Price is tying himself to someone with blacked-out background (as if he isn't "mysterious and dangerous" himself). Ngl, they kinda chill off with Price as the bridge between them. Surprise surprise, they would take the bullet for each other """""for the sake of Price"""""" (they’d never admit it out loud, and they certainly wouldn’t acknowledge that they actually care for one another)

Farah Karim and Hadir Karim

Raven’s time in Urzikstan with her PMC meant she was aware of Farah’s retaliation efforts, was there to witness the Captive mission whilst on watch duty for Lieutenant Price. Raven respects Farah’s resilience but doesn’t align with her ideologies—especially the decisions Farah makes regarding missiles in MW3. As for Hadir, Raven sees him as a wildcard, someone driven by emotion rather than strategy (in her eyes anyways), so she's kinda meh about the siblings.

Vladimir Makarov

Raven’s had dealings with Makarov in the past, thanks to Viktor (Raven's step-dad who owns the PMC Cobra) assigning her to handle transactions involving him. She's...well she was intrigued with Makarov’s unpredictable nature and considers him dangerous—not just to others, but to anyone who gets caught up in his plans. Though she doesn't agree whatever the hell he was doing afterwards.

John Soap Mactavish

Raven and Soap are…fine(?) There’s no bad blood between them, but there’s also no real bond. They’re more colleagues than friends. Raven respects Soap for being part of Price’s world, but their connection is more about Price than anything else (basically witnessed the real effect of Soap's supposedly death in MW3 on Price)

Nikolai

Raven knows Nikolai through Chimera. They’ve crossed paths during missions, though she doesn't know if he recognizes her. Their relationship is more functional than personal. Still, she recognizes him as someone who’s good to have on your side (has seen the uh...has seen Nikolai's "working" mode)

bonus: Raven from the Metropolitan Police Service (I think he's SAS too - ah you know the dude who told off Gaz??)

Gaz told Raven Liu about this Raven, laughed about it, dug up his history and went "you did not just compared me with this guy"

[polyphemusboo]

Body swap au??? I feel like there can be a lot done with this. Can be whoever you want :)

anon, I’m forever thankful for this ask. i’m gonna make this a little series and give them all different short stories! nsfw marked like this and this so my sfw buddies can read the rest cuz it’s fun. cw: nsfw. v self-indulgent. mention of taxidermy. nothing i write is too explicit and this isn’t an exception lol love me some romantic nsfw. Simon Riley x gn!Reader

wc: 3.3k

Dream of You

Ghost | Soap | Price | Gaz

The birds are chirping, the sun’s so high up you have to squint because, naturally, you forgot your cap. Ghost’s walking next to you, both of you wearing comfortable clothes; his mask isn’t the usual skull one, but the one that's the face of a cat that Soap got for him a few months ago. You had to hide the others so he was forced to wear this one, but it was worth it. He looks a little hilarious with it.

It’s your only day off to explore. You'll be going home after a month-long mission the very next morning, so you’re going to make it count one way or another. 

Ghost wasn't happy when you forced him to go with you, but he didn't put up any resistance, at least no other than a grunt. He was the only one who wasn't doing anything else; Soap was cleaning his gun, Gaz was taking a lazy nap and Price was... somewhere. 

Honestly, you never know what Price does or where he is during his free time, unless you're all having some whiskey or a smoke, maybe dinner. Most of the time, he just spawns from somewhere to sleep at night.

As both of you walk around the block checking the little shops of books and pastries, Simon suddenly comes to a stop in front of you, an eyebrow raised in interest. You follow his gaze and tilt your head when you see what Simon’s staring at. A second hand shop. It looks smaller than the rest, moth-eaten wood walls and completely out of place; a hidden treasure between two department stores made of big blocks of white and grey.

It looks really old, a little dusty even from outside, but they have old books, odd looking cups, large and small silver chalices, and bones in display. The sight makes you shiver, already taking a step back, but Ghost’s too interested to hear you when you say you should continue, and walks in without a second thought. With a sigh, you follow after him.

The inside of the shop is even weirder. It feels like you’re walking into another dimension many, many years in the past. It smells of gooseberries and lilacs everywhere, under the floor, the air, the walls, and it gets stronger with each step; your mind’s spinning a little, overwhelmed by the scent, but Ghost is blown away. 

He’s taking deep breaths, as if he couldn't get enough of it. Ghost takes his time checking everything: the little scented oils, the dusty books, the odd yet beautiful silver chalices, and even went through some of the dresses that seem to be hanging magically in the air. They were all black and white, extravagant and very interesting —maybe a little flashy—.

The owner of the shop clearly likes taxidermy, and apparently modifies some because most of them are just not real: monster-like animals, many of them with horns, gigantic wings perched from the walls and the ceiling… and a big, normal peacock. A tall young woman with white hair is dusting some of them, just a little away from you. She makes the big bear she’s brushing seem almost tiny, and she moves so fast that she seems to disappear when you blink.

"Hello, darlings". 

Ghost jumps slightly from the other side of the shop, yet both of you turn at the same time. A beautiful woman’s standing behind the counter; locks of curly, raven black hair falling on her shoulders, eyes the color of electric purple, and her skin is so pale it makes you wonder for a moment if you’re looking at a ghost. Her clothes are black, with raven feathers by the sleeves, and the necklace she’s wearing is silver, a marigold with an obsidian star dangling over her chest; instantly, you realize that’s the owner.

She looks amused. Surprised, even.

"Are you looking for something in particular?" the woman questions, grinning at you. 

"Oh. Hm, no, not really. We’re just looking” you reply, looking in Ghost’s direction. He’s practically drooling.

You can’t blame him, really. She’s truly perfect to your eyes, and everytime you think you find something that’s off, it’s like she morphs right in front of you, just growing more beautiful by the minute.

"My, my. Come over, then. I have something you two kids might like".

It’s as if she’s pulling on strings around you. Ghost and you move over before she’s even done talking, eyes eager and hearts pounding.

The woman pulls out a large incense burner. It is, as everything else inside of the shop, made of silver, but the details are insane. You share a look with Ghost before getting even closer, staring at it as if in a trance. The base of the incense burner and its stand are made in the form of a rock, massive stones and leaves. The central part, a long cylindrical container, is decorated with a large peacock, two pine trees twirling around it and becoming it’s handles.

Your fingers hover across the silver leaves, eyes wide. “How much are you asking for it?”

“Oh, you see, I was planning on throwing it away, as I’ve already made use of it for a long time” the woman smiles at you. You can swear your heart trembles just meeting her purple eyes. “It holds no value to me now, so you can take it”.

“We can’t take this for free” Ghost shakes his head, speaking for the first time in front of her, and quickly reaches out for his wallet, but the woman moves faster and stops his hand with a little tap, as if stopping a child. Both Ghost and you shut up instantly.

“Consider it a gift. You look like you need it” she chuckle. “I’ve run out of unicorns, I’m afraid”.

“Of what?”

Even though you try to insist, try to buy something else for the gift, Yennefer —that’s what she said she was called— doesn’t let you. She even gives you her favorite incense for you two to try. Yennefer said something about only using it at night, but neither of you truly understood that, and she didn’t elaborate, only smirking and winking at you.

After that experience, you don’t feel like exploring anymore. Something’s calling you back to the hotel so why wait? Besides, for some reason, Yennefer’s beautiful face was already fading from your mind, and Ghost’s having trouble remembering the woman’s name.

Weird.

By the time you make it back to the hotel, neither of you can pinpoint the woman’s name, nor her face. Not even the shop’s name. It’s all too confusing, but the incense burner is glinting in Ghost’s arms, filled with the woman’s favorite scent and ready to be lit so you can have a good night's sleep.

That’s all you both can remember now, anyway. Lilacs and gooseberries. The incense’s pretty much the same, just stronger, as if infused with something else, but you couldn’t recognize it. In any case, Ghost’s just as excited as you are to try it; maybe the scent could bring back the woman’s face to your brains?

The conversation flowed easily between the two of you again and, eventually, you completely forget about the woman. You don’t question why you suddenly have the incense burner and, if you thought too hard on it, nothing comes to mind. Not the shop, nor the woman. Just Ghost’s face. It’s just yours now, no need to question it.

Wearing sweatpants and a loose top you stole from Gaz the other day, you sink on the bed, back to Ghost, lilacs and gooseberries filling your lungs. The smoke was heavy but not unpleasant at all. It filtered through the windows and under the doors, as if fighting to remain inside. It makes you wonder just for a moment if you’ll get complaints the next morning, but not even a minute later you can hear Ghost snoring next to you, and soon enough, you are out.

You wake up to a gasp and Ghost scrambling off the bed, shaking it enough to make your eyes blink open.

Groggily, yet already worried, you sit up, rubbing your face with a heavy hand. “What? What’s wrong?” you mumble, voice a little too raspy.

“You fucking tell me”. With a start, you realize that’s your voice answering.

“What the—” you yelp, rushing off the bed as well, looking up at yourself.

It’s an experience out of this world, to see yourself standing there even though that expression is just not you. That’s completely Ghost’s. He looks at you —or himself?— with so much hate that it makes you flinch.

“What? Why are you staring at me like this is my fault? I just woke up!”

“I dunno how, but it is. This is— Are we fucking dreaming? What the hell did you do?” he jabbed his finger on your chest. “What the hell did you put in my drink? Are you into that witchcraft shit again?”

With a hiss, you slap his hand away, realizing you’re stronger than you thought you were. Maybe you shouldn’t be jabbing your fingers into their chests anymore. “Nothing! I didn’t do anything this time. For fuck’s sake. We’re probably just dreaming or something. There’s no way—”

Around you, the room starts to shift with each blink, to morph into a place you know all too well. You stand closer to Ghost as the walls change into a familiar grey, the floor becoming bright white, and the room grows bigger as three more beds fill it.

Huh.

You’re sure you’re both stoned somehow, or dead, because why the hell are you two suddenly standing in the middle of the barracks?

Beside you, Ghost grunts in disbelief and immediately walks out, nearly sprinting along the hallway. You follow him to his private room, watching him open the door without a care. 

The sight makes you blink once, twice, before you look away, throat constricting as you try really hard not to make a single noise of surprise.

The lieutenant’s lying in bed, trousers and underwear around his ankles, no mask on his contorting face as he furiously strokes himself. He seems blissfully unaware of two unwanted visitors staring; one stunned, and the other one angry. Embarrassed.

Ghost tries to pull you out of the room, turning around with quick feet, a hand on your arm, but the door shuts right in his face. “Come on! Bloody hell. Why is this happening to me? Screw this!” 

He’s desperately trying to kick the door down, but nothing happens. It’s as if the dream wants you to watch this, and Dream-Ghost is just not stopping.

If anything, he’s slowly growing louder, and the swift sound of his hand on his raw skin is making it hard to think, to focus. Dream-Ghost’s clearly angry, but you can see his knees trembling just slightly.

“I mean, I don’t wanna be here either, but is this seriously what you find urgent not to see?” you wonder, trying your best not to look at the bed anyway, cheeks hot. “Seems like you’re having fun”.

“Fuck off, you dickhead. Now help me push the door or I’m gonna kill you right now”.

A low grunt, a name, gives you whiplash, pausing in complete disbelief. Ghost slaps his forehead, lips pursed so tightly you just know he’s biting down on his tongue.

“Are you— moaning my name?”

“He is not real. Come on, we gotta go”.

You pull away from his tight grip, walking closer to the man on the bed, 

“Is this… real? Is this the past?” you huff, your body growing warmer the longer you look at him. “Gods, we're definitely stoned. And why the hell are you angry? Do you get off to me being a dick or what?”

“What? Gods forbid a man has hobbies” Ghost shrugs, looking away. You can see, however, he isn’t as unaffected as he pretends to be.

You can feel your body reacting, straining against your pants just a little bit, slowly becoming too tight; wearing Ghost's body like a meat suit is definitely something interesting, especially now that you can feel the weight of his hardening dick in your pants. That's yours for now, anyway.

At this point, there’s no point in being shy or modest, so you stand up with no shame and no hiding, arms crossed over your chest with a little mocking grin growing in your lips, teasing as you stare at him, even if it’s a little weird to do so when he looks like you. “Lieutenant, something you wanna share with me?”

Your teasing doesn’t last long, however. Before he can reply, the room changes yet again, and Dream-Ghost is suddenly nowhere to be seen. The colors are pretty much the same, yet it all becomes a little too familiar for you, a soft, singular scent filling your lungs. 

In just a blink, you’re standing in your bathroom, and the shower is running. 

Your bathroom. 

Your house.

“Okay, enough fun. Lets go” you say instantly, grabbing Ghost’s arm to try and kick the door down, just the way he tried to do before. But it doesn’t budge, it doesn’t even make a single noise.

This isn’t so funny anymore.

However, Ghost seems to be having the time of his life for the first time since you two woke up, eyebrows shooting up and a smirk growing across his face as he hears your voice from behind the glass door, echoing in the bathroom over the running shower.

“Well! I don’t know what’s going on, but I think we better find a way to wake up. Or die”.

“No, I don’t think so” he huffs, making you let go with a hard tug as he moves to slide open the glass door.

With a hiss, you can only stare at Dream-You, one of your hands holding you up against the wall, water running over your shoulders and down your back as your other hand’s a little too busy getting yourself off, a little too aggressively. It’s embarrassing, and you really don’t want to hear Ghost’s mocking remarks, but you sigh and prepare yourself for it.

But his face is far from amused. He’s completely focused on Dream-You, barely blinking, lips parting as he takes a deep breath. It’s unsettling watching yourself react like that, but Ghost’s not looking away.

By then, you’re already understanding what’s happening. It’s definitely that incense burner, since it’s the only explanation you can come up with, though you have no idea why.

You remember this day perfectly.

This was a couple months ago. Ghost had looked a little too good barking orders at the new recruits and, unfortunately, you couldn't get it off your head, even at home. Grunting to yourself about it, complaining to no one in particular, turned to this: to you getting off to his voice ringing in your ears.

Dream-You’s bloody shameless, moaning Ghost's real name. You have enough decency to look away from him and yourself, fighting back the twitching in your pants. Or Ghost's, for that matter.

It’s growing increasingly difficult to remember you’re wearing his body like a suit, and you can’t do anything about it. Even making it react like this makes you feel like you’re doing something wrong. It isn’t your fault this is happening, though, so—

You barely have time to feel shame when a strong hand grabs your wrist, pulling you down just a tiny bit before your lips crash against your own face.

The confusion doesn’t really last long, however.

It doesn’t matter if Simon is in your body or if you get things confused in your mind. All that matters is that it’s him kissing you, and those are his hands completely unashamed as he grips you all over. Clearly, he knows where he’s the most sensitive.

“Simon, hold up” you breath out as you pull back, voice strained, unnatural, but neither of you pay any attention to it. Your fingers are digging on his waist, hearts pounding as one. “Are you sure—”

“Shut the fuck up. I don't wanna think much of it” Simon grunts, just in time as Dream-You whimpers and nearly crumbles down the floor, spent.

It doesn’t matter, though, not when the door finally lets you both through, teeth clinking in a fierce, messy kiss as Simon pushes you towards your room, hands ripping on clothes and hair, tugging and squeezing. Just like he knows himself so well, you have him turned into a puddle in your hands in just a few moments.

It doesn’t matter when Simon gets all your clothes off, both of you finally getting a taste of what you have been holding back for months, or years. His mouth and hands are on you, and it doesn’t surprise you that he knows exactly what to do —that's his body, after all—.

Somehow, it’s as if the dream's rewarding you both, because the lights are suddenly low enough that you can only see the shape of your bodies, and your mind does the rest, filling it with the image of Simon’s face instead, and it does the same for him. Neither of you waste a second to take advantage of that.

One of his hands curls around your throat, your stomach flat against the bed until your back curves perfectly against his chest, as if made for him, breathy moans and whimpers filling the room. The slapping of your skin against his is loud and overwhelming, yet none of you stop. If anything, it only makes you go harder, rougher, leaning just how he likes to be touched, and when its your turn, the gasps he lets out are music to your ears.

It’s too hard to focus, with your nails scratching on his back, thighs curling around his waist and his around your head, and when he groans your name, body arching off the bed, it’s just too good to be true.

Just like you are, you can tell he’s committing every touch to memory, no doubt planning to do this himself next time. And there will be a next time.

You’ll make sure of that, if he doesn’t do it himself first.

With the birds chirping outside yet again, you slowly wake up, stretching your back. You feel sore all over, but it’s the best you’ve felt in a long time. The sunlight coming from the window makes your skin feel warm, and it makes it harder for you to get up, knowing you have to leave soon. Only when you feel the bedsheets shuffling slightly, you finally open your eyes. The first thing you see is Simon staring at you in silence, lips parted, seemingly a little worried, or surprised. Maybe both. With a small, sleepy grin, you shuffle closer, a leg slothing between his to get more comfortable. The relief in his body is immediate. His strong arms wrap around you, Simon’s lips finding your shoulder as a shameless hand grips your ass just right. You only pat his back slightly, a little amused.

“I’ve no idea what that was, but we gotta do it again”.

But then, just as you both shift to look at the incense burner, you notice it’s gone.

Only the faint scent of lilacs and gooseberries hangs in the air.

well! this was sm fun! im honestly a bit surprised w just how much i enjoyed it lol @kittygonap

[beescrafting]

Cyberpunk 141

I got this art project im doing, where its going to be a massive perspective painting of a cyberpunk city and i want to put the 141 on it, Gaz, Roach, Ghost, Soap, and Price.

On the billboards im going to be putting some COD ocs too, like Raven by @/Gomzdraws, (i will @ them throughout the progress I just don't want to bother them with this post).

Any oc's you'd like to suggest for billboards?

now i know this is messy, its just the rough sketch idea, im going to draw an actual thing on what i want to do tomorrow.

Gz- Gaz, Rc- Roach, Sp- Soap, Pr- Price, Gh- Ghost, RA- raven

comment or repost with an image of your oc, i'll only be able to do a few, but i know i won't get that many submissions for this lol. but its worth a shot to see what happens.

Have a good day!

[violetfaeryrealm]

hey i made a book list! welcome to my list! 📝

if you’ve ever wanted a tattoo inspired by a specific book or series, if you wanna know what i’m currently reading, or if you just want some book recs… then this list is for your eyes :)

alphabetized by author’s last name & 🌟 added for when I really love a book or author

last updated: June 18, 2025

currently reading:

The Dream Thieves by Maggie Stiefvater

The Hunger Games (re-read :)

Dracula Daily

most recently finished:

Model Home by Rivers Solomon

Hammajang Luck by Makana Yamamoto

bookz:

Adjei-Brenyah, Nana Kwame

🌟 Chain-gang All-stars

Friday Black

Aoki, Ryka

Light from Uncommon Stars

Arafat, Zaina

You Exist Too Much

Armfield, Julia

🌟 Our Wives Under the Sea

Atwood, Margaret

The Handmaid’s Tale

Baldwin, James

Giovanni’s Room

will be reading Go Tell it on the Mountain soon!

Brontë, Charlotte

🌟 Jane Eyre

Butler, Octavia E. 🌟

Parable of the Sower

Bloodchild and Other Stories

Kindred

Fledgling

will be reading Parable of the Talents & Lilith’s Brood series soon!

Chambers, Becky 🌟

🌟 🌟 The Wayfarers Series

↳ The Long to a Small, Angry Planet • A Closed and Common Orbit • Record of a Spaceborn Few • The Galaxy, and the Ground Within • To Be Taught, If Fortunate • A Good Heretic (A Wayfarers Story)

🌟 The Monk & Robot Duology

↳ A Psalm for the Wild-Built • A Prayer for the Crown-Shy

Clarke, Susanna

Piranesi

Collins, Suzanne

🌟 The Hunger Games Trilogy

↳ The Hunger Games • Catching Fire • Mockingjay

A Ballad of Songbirds & Snakes

Sunrise on the Reaping

Crane, Mac

🌟 I Keep My Exoskeletons to Myself

want to read A Sharp Endless Need soon!

Dickinson, Seth

🌟🌟 The Masquerade Series

↳ The Traitor Baru Cormorant • The Monster Baru Cormorant • The Tyrant Baru Cormorant

El-Mohtar, Amal & Gladstone, Max

🌟 This is How You Lose the Time War

Feinberg, Leslie 🌟

Stone Butch Blues

will be reading Transgender Warriors soon!

H, Lamya

Hijab Butch Blues

Harpman, Jacqueline

🌟 I Who Have Never Known Men

Highsmith, Patricia

The Price of Salt

hooks, bell

🌟 All About Love: New Visions

will be reading more!

Huxley, Aldous

Brave New World

Jemisin, N.K.

🌟 The Broken Earth Trilogy

↳ The Fifth Season • The Obelisk Gate • The Stone Sky

will be reading more!

Johnson, Micaiah

The Space Between Worlds

Kimmerer, Robin Wall

Braiding Sweetgrass

Kuang, R. F.

Babel

Le Fanu, Sheridan

Carmilla

Le Guin, Ursula K.

The Lathe of Dreams

will be reading more!

Lo, Malinda

Last Night at the Telegraph Club

Machado, Carmen Maria 🌟

🌟 In the Dream House

Her Body and Other Parties

Miller, Madeline

The Song of Achilles

🌟 Circe

Muir, Tamsyn 🌟

🌟❤️‍🔥🫀❤️‍🔥🌟 The Locked Tomb Series

↳ Gideon the Ninth • Harrow the Ninth • Nona the Ninth • (Alecto the WHERE. please. when)

Princess Floralinda and the Forty-Flight Tower

Oseman, Alice

🌟 Heartstopper Vol. 1 - 5

Page, Elliot

Pageboy

Porter, Chana

The Seep

Sáenz, Benjamin Alire

🌟 Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe

want to read the sequel soon!

Sanderson, Brandon

The Mistborn Series

↳ The Final Empire • The Well of Ascension • The Hero of Ages

The Emperor’s Soul

Sappho

her fragments (lol)

Shannon, Samantha

The Priory of the Orange Tree

Solomon, Rivers 🌟

🌟 An Unkindness of Ghosts

The Deep

Sorrowland

Model Home

Stiefvater, Maggie

The Raven Boys (book 1)

will read the rest of the series!

VanderMeer, Jeff

🌟 The Southern Reach Trilogy

↳ Annihilation • Authority • Acceptance

Walker, Alice

The Color Purple

Walter, Heather

Malice

Misrule

Waters, Sarah

🌟 Tipping the Velvet

Affinity

Fingersmith

will be reading more!

Yamamoto, Makana

Hammajang Luck

nostalgia edition!!! :

The Percy Jackson series

The Infernal Devices series (Shadowhunters)

Twilight series…….

The Uglies series

Maximum Ride series

Hunger Games series (listing twice bc <3)

The Giver, Lord of the Flies, etc (books we had to read in grade school that i ended up enjoying)

Homestuck……. 😳 … … 🌟

books high up on the TBR :

The Wicked Years series, by George Maguire

Go Tell It on the Mountain by James Baldwin

Hammajang Luck by Makana Yamamoto

The Well of Loneliness, by Radclyffe Hall

Lilith’s Brood series, by Octavia Butler

Imperial Radch series, by Ann Leckie

The Left Hand of Darkness, by Ursula K. LeGuin

The Tales from Earthsea, by Ursula K. LeGuin

The Jasmine Throne, by Tasha Suri

Crier’s War, by Nina Varela

and literally so many more…….

if you want a tattoo to represent your favorite book but are unsure how to go about that, i am always always down to brainstorm & discuss how best to immortalize! 🐞

i love reading… & i love tattooing… this crossover would be Epic and Awesome 😳🫶🏼

[ammcgee-author]

237. Cliché Goth Song

Edgar Allan Poe ain’t got nothing on you,

Because you cry, and you sob, and you drink too much, too –

I want to howl and drink your blood, after midnight,

I want to bury you, and leave you for dead in the moonlight;

I want to do anything in the dark, if it feels right.

Like a ghost ship with a skeleton crew, I want to do everything only if it’s with you,

You’re like an oblong box full of teeth,

Let’s get married and live our lives so happily;

You’re like a mystery that Doyle couldn’t solve, a history of Dupin’s resolve;

You’re like a chess-playing automaton, I’d bet the devil my head that you’re never wrong;

Hop frog

I’d follow you around the world in a balloon, an imp so perverse; but don’t leave me so soon.

In a world where everything feels so untrue,

Fair as a Pharaoh;

You must be a mummy because I want some words with you —

Because Edgar Allan Poe ain’t got nothing on you,

Because you cry, and you sob, and you love too much, too —

I want kill with you,

and be partners in crime;

You’re a nihilist, in a world so sublime;

I want to soak in and absorb your disease,

Slit your hopes, and disembowel your dreams;

I want to do anything that makes me feel free,

When life is just a dull fantasy, of everything we wish it could be —

Like nothing really matters about our lives,

Like Eiros and Charmion,

Living dead in Paradise…

Because Edgar Allan Poe ain’t got nothing on you,

Because you cry, and you sob, and you’d probably cheat on me, too —

Put a hex on you, if a bullet won’t work,

Draw a knife on you, and then go be berserk;

It’s too easy to kill, and so hard to love;

I want to cast a spell, of love potion nine,

Peel you like a orange, throw away the rind;

Love is dangerous, but I ignore the signs…

I’m like a bird on the wing, flying under these raven skies —

Catching up with you because I’m always behind.

Because Edgar Allan Poe ain’t got nothing on you,

Because you cry, and you sob, and I know you’re crazy, too —

Like a cryptogram and a golden scarab,

You talk like an orangutan, but sing a cherub;

You’re so complicated and overrated, I know it makes you happy but don’t ask me;

How ghosts of your past will always haunt you, your friends and enemies will always want you;

I’m game as long as they never catch us, you’re strange in so many ways but you’re the one I trust.

A portrait hanging above your bed, like waking life hanging by a thin scarlet thread…

Because Edgar Allan Poe ain’t got nothing on you,

Because you cry, and you sob, and I know you’re insane for me, too —

A Mason with the jingling bells, a spade and a black cat hiding behind the walls,

Of your heart, beating beneath the floor;

Don’t let me go, because you know that no matter what I’ll always want more —

Like a cathedral in the forest,

They can hide, but they can’t ignore us;

Run if you can, but adore us —

Because Edgar Allan Poe ain’t got nothing on you,

Because you cry, and you sob, and you’d probably kill me, too —

I never know what you’re gonna do,

It thrills me, and chills me… I know it’s bad for me, too.

Edgar Allan Poe ain’t got nothing on you,

But I have to admit, the way it is, baby –

I’m scared of you.

— A.M. McGee

[Notes & thoughts: I tried to fit as many Edgar Allan Poe references as I could in this cliché goth song. The models I was trying to beat were the Wednesday Addams series, and pretty much anything with Vincent Price in it. All goth songs seem to reference Poe in theme or imagery, but sometimes lack the religious, spiritual, and metaphysical depth that his poems and stories had. This song was also inspired by the Goth versus Emo South Park episode, lol.]

[the-fangirls-desk]

One Night In Soho (Mini Fic)

Author's Note: Yeah I really went ahead and decided to do a reader insert x unamed cook that Lin played in Tick Tick Boom lol. I decided to call his character 'Rafael' idk why, but that just seemed to suit him. This isn't necessarily romance, but could easily be read in a sense of blossoming romance if you want.

Summary: Burnt out and full of doubt, you stop by the Moondance Diner for a late night meal, and get a few encouraging words from the friendly cook.

You were tired. So tired. So unbelievably tired. Another long day filled with classes, textbooks, professors, deadlines etc.; all you wanted to do was stagger to the subway, hop on the train and get back to your pathetic run down apartment. As diligent as you were in keeping up with the assignments, all it took for the professors to doubt your work ethic was one lousy absence. It sucked.

You'd think that with a hard working student, they'd assume that an absence could signfy a burnout rather than laziness. Nope. They weren't paid enough to care anyway. You'd get a break from it all tomorrow, though. You didn't have classes on Fridays and you were going to sleep in for once, damnit! Even if it was just two extra hours, your body would thank you.

But first, food. It was probably best to pass out with a full stomach as opposed to an empty one; last time you went to bed without eating, your body got its payback in the form of a killer migraine and cost you the hefty price of missing your classes for the day. Not to mention, a migraine would definitely put a damper on your writing session. Your mind began to wander so far, the concrete under your shoes seemed to morph into a treadmill belt. Just going and going and going...

Yes, that's right. Your writing sessions.

Like many people your age living in New York City, you were just another dime a dozen starving artist. An author to be exact. Well, an aspiring author may have been more of an appropriate label. Four years ago you set out and began to write this fiction novel that told the story of a completely original world you spent countless hours building from the ground up word by word.

A beautifully sized bonfire could be started with the amount of notebooks you had filled with crude notes and rewrites over the years. Honestly, that didn't sound like a bad idea right now. That's what you should do with them...burn them all. Maybe then your mind could have the chance to breathe again. You couldn't remember the last time your head didn't feel like an overstuffed bookcase with loose pages falling out of every crevice.

And to think it all started because you had the bright idea of following your dreams. Ever since you were a kid, both your parents and teachers alike raved about your way with words and the excitement they felt every time you picked up a pen or pencil.

"You're gonna be a writer!"

"The next Stephen King!"

"New York Times should be callin' any day now!"

Most amateurs would kill for the amount of support you had. And it was greatly appreciated, one hundred percent. Well, maybe ninety-nine, ninety-eight...? There was no exact percentage you were sure of; however, the one thing you were sure of, was the pressure.

One would think there wouldn't even be any room left for doubt when there were so many people who had your back. They were wrong. So terribly wrong. Just because everyone you knew liked it, didn't mean it even had the ghost of a chance to see the light of day.

And if it did...would anyone even care?

Wait, what were you doing again?

Your stomach seemed to elbow you in annoyance with another ravenous wave.

Oh right, food. There wasn't anything at home, though. The cabinets always cleared pretty quickly since they were never full to begin with. Oh the joys of being an artist in soho.

You could grab a few packs of instant noodles from the nearest corner store, but of course that would require waiting till you get home, messing with the microwave, no. Nuh uh. No way, you needed food now.That's when you realized your feet were still moving forward without your knowledge. Must've really gotten lost in though that time. You finally stopped them, and looked around to get your bearings. There had to be something open. Something super close to grab a quick bite.

Sighing in the cold tonight caused a large breath cloud to mist over your vision for a moment. You turned your head around, scanning for open signs. Anything would do for now; anything at all. And almost like a slap in the face, a building right across the street, a diner, flashed like a beacon with its exterior lined in neon and chrome. The top of the restaurant was decked with a spinning crescent moon sign that seemed to top it all off.

Moon Dance Diner.

Hmm. Can't say you'd ever eaten there, but probably passed it pretty often since it was smack dab in the middle of your commute. Why not? It's too late to be picky right now, and the sooner you ate, the sooner you could go home. All the lights were still on and it looked as if there was a small handful of people inside. Probably people who were just getting off of work after a long day.

After checking the traffic, you dashed across the street to get a better look.

The small sign on the front of the door boasted its long and late hours; they closed at 11:00 and your watch read 10:15. Cutting it close, but there was still more than enough time. Hoped the staff wouldn't hate you too much for walking in when they were almost free to go home.

The little bell above the door chimed as you stepped in and signaled your arrival. It was hard not to feel a bit embarrassed as the customers briefly looked up from their plates and the staff froze in their tracks to get a quick look at their next task. Thankfully everyone immediately went back to their own buisness once they realized nothing in particular stood out about you.

Why should they? You weren't a crazed bum talking to themselves, not a lawyer in a $800 suit. Just another grungy kid with a backpack.

A tall slender waiter breezed by with a coffee pot in hand.

"Just take a seat miss, I'll be right with you."

Your nod went unnoticed as he got back to work. Only one other person was sitting at the counter. Looked like he might've been a truck driver of some kind. Well, he probably doesn't bite. So you picked a barstool a few seats away from him. He didn't seem to notice you in the slightest ansd kept munching away at his sandwich.

It was far from busy right now, but all the scents wafting from the kitchen told you they must've had a busy day. It seemed to encourage your appetite, and the growling in your stomach amplified. Thankfully whoever was sitting in your seat before left their menu on the counter.

Wow, it had a lot more options than you thought. All the entrees sounded great but far too expensive. Your wallet was just as hungry; all you had on you was fifteen bucks. The meal, plus the tax and tipping the waiter? No way you'd be able to order an entree.

Thankfully all the breakfast items seemed to be a lot cheaper. Did they do breakfast this late? Please say yes...

The waiter from before slipped behind the counter again. He poured some fresh coffee into a mug and placed a small bowl of creamers and sugars by its side. As he pulled out a pad and paper, you noticed The name tag read 'Jonathan.'

"Good evening Miss, what can I get for you?"

"H-hi. Um, do you guys do breakfast this late?"

"Yeah, we can do that. A lot of folks are just getting up for their night shifts, so what may be dinner time for some, is breakfast for others."

Finally a break.

"Oh good. I think I'm gonna get the Sunrise Sandwich with a side of home fries."

"Alright. How would you like those eggs cooked?"

"Fried please. Leave the yolks runny."

"Anything to drink with that?"

You picked up the coffee mug he had just filled.

"No thanks, this'll do."

"We'll have that right out for you."

He offered a friendly smile and headed to kitchen window where he placed the order and then proceeded to make his way to sit in a vacant booth near the back of the diner. With business being so slow at the moment, none of the servers seemed to be on their toes with worry right now.

He seemed to have a thousand yard stare going out the window, and rhythmically tapped the table with his fingers. He must be a musician or something; you were no professional, but you did have a ton of friends trying to chase their musical dreams who did the exact same thing.

They always seemed to be writing in some way. Speaking of which, now was the perfect time to at least write a few ideas down. The semi calm atmosphere could possibly spark something, right? It would take a few minutes before your food was ready anyways.

You took your notebook out of your raggedy backpack and slapped it down on the counter. Your ink pen was being gripped with desparate force pulled as you tried to take in the ambiance. Closing your eyes helped. What was going on around you? Tap into all five senses.

What do you hear? Dishes clinking, silverware clattering, the kitchen grill sizzling...

What are the scents like around you? Coffee, eggs, bacon...maybe potatoes frying?

Ugh, you could feel a migraine kicking in. This is what happens when art becomes more important than eating. Both hands grazed themselves across your face, through your hairline in an attempt to ease the tension away. It was getting too hard to think...almost felt as if someone was carving your head open like a pumpkin. Come on, just organize those thoughts and things will calm down. Just don't panic.

Hear plates

Smell coffee

Feel...stool holding you up...no, feel sick...

Very sick. Nauseous. Just wanna sleep it off---

Okay, okay, focus.

What about your sight? What can you see right now? Darkness. Your eyes stayed closed for a moment; it seemed to calm the pain splitting your head in half.

Screw it. If you focus any longer, you may puke all over the counter; that'd be embarrassing to say the least. You flipped the notebook closed, completely free of any new in from any new ideas. It happened more often than you liked to admit, and it made you angrier. Defeated, you took a sip of the still hot coffee in front of you and examined its steam. The way it drifted off the mug was dreamy sight in itself, even calming. Maybe there was something about that could make you write---

What's the point? Why destroy your mental health over a story? A fictional one at that. This was getting old; the hand cramps, the blank files on your computer at home, headaches, writer's block, messy journals. You were so tired. So tired of it all.

For all you knew, somebody had already done a story exactly like this and then people would accuse you of plagirism.

Maybe you should call in sick tomorrow and then never show up again. There were plenty of places in the city to work a decent 9 to 5. Jobs that would leave you enough money to even buy the most basic necessities for the apartment! Can't even remember the last time your fridge had a dozen eggs in it.

Ding

"Order up!"

Speaking of eggs...

A woman with pink hair snatched the plate off the kitchen counter and got it over to you quickly. It looked delicious. Before you could even take a bite, she leaned in one more time and placed a blueberry muffin beside the plate.

"Um, I'm sorry, I didn't order a muffin with this."

"Don't worry about it. It's a gift from one of the cooks. Is there anything else I can get you?"

"No thanks, this'll be fine."

She politely nodded and went about her business. Huh. You must've done something right today. Free muffin from the cook? That was nice of him. But which one? There was only a few back there from what you could tell. Was it the tall blonde? The short redhead? Or the even shorter one with dark features?

Who knows? May as well dig in while it's still hot.

That first bite of the breakfast sandwich almost made you cry. It was so good! So warm and comforting on a night like this. The flavor burst drove your tastebuds wild and caused you to go into a feeding frenzy. It'd been too long since you last ate, and it showed. The trucker sitting across from you was probably staring as if he was watching Discovery Channel; the kind of program that depicts a wolf mauling some poor defenseless moose out in the wild.

You couldn't help yourself. The crispy bacon marinating in the rich yolks and gooey cheese seemed to be exactly what the doctor ordered.

"Hey kid, slow down before you bite your tongue off."

This random voice coming from beside you said it was probably that trucker who should really be minding his own business. Even if you were to do such an awful thing, why should he be concerned?

You turned to say these exact things, mouth still full of food, only to be immediately cut off. It wasn't even the trucker; he must've left without you realizing because a smaller man all in white with a pair of glasses was now occupying the stool. He seemed to be picking at a small bit of leftovers on his plate. How long was he sitting there?

After a few more chews, you finally swallowed enough to speak again.

"Piss off, will ya? What I do isn't any of your business. If you got a problem with the way I eat, then move to another spot."

Normally, it was easy to control your temper and refrain from unnecessarily mouthing off to people. Had it been any other night, you would've handled things more calmly. But tonight? You were not in the mood for any of this. Simultaneously fighting a headache, writer's block, and finally getting a meal in you after far too long? Nuh uh, you didn't even owe this stranger the time of day.

Just as you went back to sipping your coffee, he decided to keep talking as if you actually wanted to hear anything else he said.

"Come on now, I thought you were supposed to give compliments to the chef."

Oh shit.

His response made you choke, and before you knew it, a good amount of hot coffee ended up hitting the back of your throat, and caused a very loud coughing fit to catch all the other diners by surprise. You didn't even notice some of it splash on your jeans.

Just as the man beside you scooted closer and began to firmly pat your back in a effort to calm the cough, The tall man from before, Jonathan, came rushing into your view, concern plastered all over his face.

"What's happening?! Is she choking?!"

As much as you wanted to answer, the cough just hadn't run its course yet, therefore keeping your words at bay.

Your counterside partner raised his hand a bit.

"She's fine, the coffee just went down the wrong pipe, that's all."

Jonathan looked so relieved, and stood there for another few seconds before getting yelled at.

"Well don't just stand there, get her some water!"

"Ah, right!"

Thankfully, he'd left a full pitcher right behind the counter where the window to the kitchen was, so he was able to pour a glass for you right away.

It took a few seconds, but after slowly sipping the water little by little, the cough seemed to calm a bit. There was definitely still a tickle in the back of your throat, but it wasn't half as bad as before.

The amount you of humiliation you felt was almost sickening, though. All this fuss because you swallowed some coffee wrong.

"Ahh...I'm-I'm sorry about this; I'm so embarrassed, I really didn't mean to cause such a big scene over this, it was an accident."

"No worries, miss. Just glad you're alright now. Did you need anything else?"

You felt the need to stand after such an ordeal.

"Uh, no thanks. I think I'll just get back to my meal and slowly eat it."

"Good idea." he chuckled back.

Jonathan returned to his booth, once again putting his feet up and returning his brainstorm. How he could just snap back into his own creative headspace, you had no idea but severely envied it.

The awkward tension that hung in the air over your little mishap felt heavier than a tarp; there was no way you'd be able to focus on any more writing tonight. Still standing by your seat, All you could do was turn and observe the other occupied areas and think about how uncomfortable the few diners inside felt towards you.

They probably saw you as a drama queen or a big baby, or---

Suddenly, a heavy, but gentle hand placed itself on your shoulder.

"Sit back down, kid."

"Wha--? I--"

"I know. you're all on edge about them, aren't you? Well lemme tell ya something that just may put your mind at ease---they don't care.

Sure, things'll be awkward for a few minutes, and then they'll finish up, go home and forget all about it, just like I'm sure you will. This is New York, it's hardly the weirdest moment they've ever had."

"Yeah but--"

"No buts. Come on, sit down and finish your food, you need it. Judging by the way you were tearing that sandwich apart, I'd guess I'd have guessed it was the first decent meal you'd had in a while, am I right?"

Your nostrils involuntarily flared at his perception. Again, why did he care so much? There was still plenty of reluctance in you to stay. After what just happened, on top of this stranger trying to be your buddy, you really didn't see a reason to listen.

"Is that why you threw in the free muffin?"

He smiled.

"Come on, take a seat." he gently urged once more.

What the hell, you didn't have the energy to walk to the subway right now anyway.

The next bite you took of the sandwich was much smaller and chewed more carefully this time. Come to think of it, the sandwich tasted great before but seemed to have a flavor enhancement once you took the time to savor it. It Tasted so much like a homecooked meal, you could almost cry.

Damn, when was the last time you actually stopped to enjoy a meal? Too long apparently; pretty much everything you'd eaten in the past two years either came out of a paper bag, styrofoam container or cardboard box. And when you ate, there was usually a lot more assignments on your plate than food, causing you to just hurry up and eat as fast as possible so you could finish everything before getting even close to the deadline.

It just got easier and easier to adjust to the nonstop work flow.

But this? This change of pace was nice.

it was also pretty easy to get distracted by finally being able to enjoy yourself, that you didn't even notice your new 'friend' was still watching you with a bit of a smile on his face, only shifting his gaze a bit to his own coffee mug. Now what? Was he worried about you choking again, or something? This was getting a bit too weird for comfort.

"What?" you asked a bit less hostile this time.

"Sorry, I know its rude to stare. It's just that I don't often get a chance to see people enjoy my food; I'm usually cooped up in the back with about five other people, rushing to fill the next order."

Oh that's right, he was the guy who made this delicious meal you loved so much.

"Hey, um, I'm sorry I was such an ass earlier. It's been such a long day, I'm just tired, hungry and frustrated. I shouldn't have bit the hand that fed me. Your food is amazing, by the way."

He shrugged with his chest puffed out a bit in pride.

"Ah, thanks. Don't worry about it, we've all been there. It's more than enough of a thank you to see you taking your time with it."

There he goes again showing concern for someone he doesn't even know.

"Hey not to repeat the last few minutes too much, but why do you care so much about how I handle myself? There can't be anything that special about me that stands out."

He forked a bit of egg into his mouth off the small plate in front of him.

"I don't know, you just seem too young to be so wound up."

"It's that obvious I'm stressed, huh?"

"Well, messy hair and dark circles aside, I've never known any relaxed person to shove food into their mouths the way you did. The only folks who do that are either worried it's either goin' somewhere, or they eat that fast when in a hurry. Judging by your age, I'd guess your quick eater because of some rigorous class schedules."

Okay most people could've called that obervant, but you were also wearing a backpack and had a notebook out on the counter. There wasn't that much critical thinking involved.

"Plus I saw the bookbag and notebook. It wasn't hard."

Wha? Was he reading your thoughts? How'd he get in your head?

"No, I'm not reading your thoughts." he finished out loud.

You found yourself stuttering a bit out of surprise.

"Dude, what are you...?"

He couldn't help but laugh a bit.

"Relax, I'm just messing with you. I swear, all you college kids are gonna end up with ulcers if you don't chill out a bit."

He wasn't wrong. You had just gotten back from the gastrointerologist last week after getting an ulcer the size of a golf ball checked. It sucked, and certainly didn't help school go any easier. He could tell by the way your eyebrows furrowed that he was once again right on the money.

"What kinda art you gonna give to the world?" he asked.

"Huh?"

"You're a college kid in Soho, what else would you be working on?"

"Okay, okay Sherlock; you gonna keep deducing or let me get in a word?"

He motioned for you to proceed.

"Anyway, I'm working on a fictional novel right now. Well, I've been working on it since my junior year in high school, now I'm on my second year in college."

"That's a long time to spend on one book."

"Tell me about it." you sighed and found it easy to continue.

"I've had a lot of pressure on me since middle school to create something worthy of the New York Times; my parents and teachers noticed I was pretty good with writing compared to a lot of my fellow students. Ever since my first creative writing assignment, they would constantly praise my efforts and then expect something bigger and better every time!

Writing is usually something I take a lot of enjoyment and pride in, but lately I can't stop thinking about how much this work in progress has consumed my life. This is literally all I have to show for the past few years and it's actually kinda scary.

What's more, the writer's block has been coming on more brutally, constantly, etc. Even if I get it done, will it be good enough? What if it's not? What'll I do then? Worse, what if it is good enough, and everyone I know, plus all the readers will expect another mind blowing story to top the last one? I honestly have no idea whether or not it's even worth finishing.

There's such a huge part of me that wants to take out all my notebooks and rough drafts and just use them as fuel for my little fireplace that barely even works. I'd be free, or at least I think I'd be. I don't know what to do anymore."

"Hmm." he hummed.

Oh great, you'd been rambling, hadn't you?

"Uhm, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to turn you into my therapist. It all kinda came spilling out, I didn't realize I was droning so much."

"No worries. I bet it felt good to get it all out on the counter, didn't it?"

You didn't know about all of it, but it honestly did feel great. It was like taking a deep breath after holding it for so long.

"Listen kid, I'm just a cook in a small Soho diner, so feel free to tune me out; but I think you're allowing everyone else's perfect vision of you to overwhelm you way too much.

I haven't even read a single sentence you've written, but I can tell you have a gift. That determination in your eyes, only the greats have that...je ne sais quoi about them.

I personally think you should finish what you've started at the very least. You don't wanna throw away all your hard work only to wake up one morning, hating yourself for such a hasty decision. Trust me when I say I know exactly what I'm talking about from personal experience."

"You?"

"Hey, I know it's hard to believe, but I haven't always been flipping burgers. I was even younger than you when I realized art was my passion too. Painting and drawing to be exact. I was always carrying around this sketchpad, illustrating everything that passed my eyes, I couldn't ever put my pencil down.

I went through so much art supplies every month, it drove my dad crazy. So crazy in fact, that one day, I told him I wanted to be an artist and you know what he said?"

"What?" you asked, now completely enthralled in his testimony.

"He told me to stop dreaming so much and do something practical with my life. Being an artist doesn't guarantee a paycheck and that wasn't okay with him in the slightest.

When I said no, he went into my room, he grabbed all my art supplies, and started throwing it all out. My sketch paper got tossed in the furnace and all my pencils went out the window. I eventually got forced into working at a local store, stocking shelves and whatnot. Not glamorous in the slightest, but it still promised a steady pay every week, so he was happy.

I didn't let that miserable job stop me though. I would spend a small amount of the check on new art supplies and hide it around the apartment so I could draw when he went to sleep. Things weren't perfect but they were under control.

Then one night I got careless and fell asleep with my lights on and some of my supplies left out on the bed. My dad must've noticed and came in to switch everything off."

"Oh no..."

"Oh yeah. I woke up to him yelling at the top of his lungs; once again, he grabbed it all and threw it out. From that point on, I was required to bring the paycheck immediately home where he could keep track of every dollar. I was just a minor at the time, so I couldn't move out and take care of myself.

Years went on, and I got used to his tyranny. I worked my ass off at every job and brought the money home so he could spend most of it on whatever he wanted. Only a fraction of it went to necessities. Drawing became a thing of the past and I didn't even consider looking back till I was nineteen and finally moved in with a friend.

First night away from home, I tried drawing again but it wasn't ever really the same after that. I was out of practice, tired from working all the time and nothing really sparked that drive. That's when I realized all those years of blindly following what he wanted me to do only benefitted him. He tried to kill my creative flame, and I let him...

More time passed and as I kept trying to figure out something else I was good at, I found I wasn't too bad at cooking. Without letting anyone else tell me what to do this time, I chose to go after it. Of course all the nicer places refused to hire an 'illegal' living in Soho, so I found this little place.

I still have plenty of regrets I've mostly made peace with but lemme tell you, seeing others smile when they eat my food? That's a kind of contentment that I wouldn't trade for anything. You know why? Because I like it, and I don't let anyone else tell me otherwise anymore."

You were at a loss for words. Who would've thought such a personal, sad story could come from a guy as laid back as him? It was impossible not to feel for his struggles. One of your hands reached out and gently took his.

A light pink tinted his cheeks as he cleared his throat.

"Anyway, my point is you shouldn't quit on something you work so hard for; especially when it's something you really wanna do. It's okay to take long breaks, have creative blocks, just keep doing it until it's finished.

That doesn't mean surround yourself with work either. Sometimes the inspiration comes from the places and during times when you least expect it. So rest easy and go about your day with a little notepad in hand just in case that little lightbulb above your head begins to glow when you're on the train or in the park.

Despite what the vast majority says, there's no law that says you have do something incredible by a certain age. Sure it's always best to start young so you can easily get more experience under your belt, but you're never gonna be happy doing what everyone else wants you do.

You wanna pursue something else? You wanna finish your story? You wanna quit the story? Then fine. Just make sure you're doing it because you want to, not because they want you to. I personally think you should keep going, simply to keep yourself from future regrets, but the decision is yours. Your alone. It's not their gift, it's your gift. As long as you have no problem with your choice, there's nothing to be afraid of."

Wow...just wow.

"You see that kid in the back, Jonathan?"

"Yeah what about him?"

"He just spent the last eight years of his life writing what he was hoping to be the next big hit on Broadway. And guess what? They turned him down, they don't even want it off Broadway either.

Just before the workshop, he was walking around here, obsessing over the fact that his thirtieth birthday was around the corner and this musical was all he had to show for a huge chunk of his youth. This failed musical none of the big boys wanna see.

He took it hard, very hard in fact and he almost quit, but you know what? He decided that just because he wasn't twenty one anymore, didn't mean it was the end of his creative career. He's already working on the next one and chose to keep going, because he wants to and he loves what he does. If you can match that outlook on life, you're gonna be just fine. Life is best measured in happiness, not money."

He ended his lecture by sipping his coffee once more.

"Wow uh, I don't know what to say. That was...incredible. Seriously Thank you. Thank you so much, you have no idea how much I needed to hear this tonight."

"Well I've always found a bit of food for thought always goes best with food for the belly. So what do you think? What're you gonna do?"

A yawn escaped your mouth before any words could. Wow, his story made you forget how tired you already were when you first walked in. He just smiled.

"Maybe you should sleep on it first. I'll get you a to go box so you can go home, rest up, and really think about what's best for you."

"Thanks that sounds great."

He got up for to disappear in the back for a moment, only to return with a box.

"Guess I'll see you next time?"

"How about tomorrow? I have a day off." You stated.

"Hey me too. I'd offer to buy you breakfast but maybe a late lunch would be more appropriate considering how late it is. Don't want you hopping outta bed on only a few hours sleep."

"Yeah."

"So how about it? My treat."

"That actually sounds great. I'd like to get to know you more anyway."

"Same, kid."

"Okay can you stop calling me that? It was cute the first time, the fifth not so much."

"What else am I supposed to call you when I don't have a name to work with?"

Okay, not very sly but why not? You stretched your hand out to shake his.

"(Y/N). (Y/N) (L/N). I look forward to our lunch date, Mr...?"

"Rafael Hernandez."

Nice name. Not one you heard very often.

"Alright then. Good night, Rafael. I can't wait to hear more words of wisdom."

"I look forward to seeing you show up with less of a weight on your shoulders."

After taking your leftovers from him, and picking up the check, you headed towards the door to once again brave the cold New York streets. Something told you to stop once more before leaving. You turned to see him still watching you leave.

"Yes?" He asked.

"Do you really think you'll never draw again?"

"I don't know, maybe I'm passed that...or maybe I'm waiting for something, maybe someone to inspire me?"

"O-oh..."

You felt your stomach flutter.

"Alright, go home and take it easy."

"Okay. Good night."

"Good night."

Despite how tired you still were, you left the Moondance Diner that night with a lighter step and clear head.

THE END

Posted: December 1st, 2021

[tiefling-queer]

For D&D character ask, for any and/or all of your characters;

1, 5, 8, 15, 23, 29, 64, 65, 69(Nice)

i’m gonna answer these for whichever characters have the most interesting answers, skipping some for repeats:

1. why did they choose their class(es)? their subclass(es)?

kip (wizard, school of necromancy): crisis of faith midway through grave cleric training, spurred on by him sucking at the whole cleric thing (9 wisdom babyyy) while also being a nerd (18 int babyyyy)

baylock (shadow sorcerer/rogue): the sorcerer part is a side effect from being born dead during a cataclysmic event that tore portions of the material plane asunder. the rogue part is because he got in with a bad crowd as a kid. he’s been gaining levels in sorcerer as he traverses the freaky magic wasteland, utilizes his magic more, and gets a little closer to death each time someone hits his squishy arcane caster frame too hard

izak (gunslinger, graveslinger): sometimes you’re a jaded teen-equivalent runaway bumming around the river kingdoms and some dude comes up to you and is like ‘im a neutral evil mercenary, but if you take this gun and learn to shoot, i can also be your dad’. and then later you’re a 20-something equivalent who just realized that you don’t actually want to be an evil mercenary so you run away again and this time some dude comes up to you and is like ‘i’m a priest of sarenrae and an exorcist, and if you believe you can be redeemed, i can also be your dad.’ and then you learn how to shoot ghosts so you can be useful while this guy teaches you about being a better person.

5. do they follow a higher power? what are their thoughts on divinity?

izak: (deep lore dump) izak’s family was, at one point, pious people, and it was some ancestor’s warped perception of what piousness is and what was worth sacrificing in the name of good that led to the entire mess that is izak’s face. izak’s a devout worshiper of sarenrae now and hopes to maybe be the assistance someone needs to put themselves on a better path the way brak was for him, but there’s still a part of him that believes that, because he’s a tiefling, he’s never going to really be saved, and that his soul will eventually belong to the asura it was promised to.

8. what are three songs that suit them?

sydel: buckets of blood by rufus rex (tw for self harm, link goes to spotify because i can’t find this track on its own on youtube), thank god that i’m not you by himalayas, and bruises by fox stevenson (full playlist here)

15. do they trust their party? why or why not?

kip: he trusts them with his life, he just doesn’t trust them to understand where he’s coming from. he’s hiding some really heretical opinions that he knows at least maya (the celestial warlock) won’t agree with. he doesn’t like to talk about his family trauma, his past, or anything that he thinks the party can use to cleverly deduce that the notes he’s been scribbling are about raising the dead and theoretical conduits, prices, and replacements for the soul (he’s a little paranoid and might be giving them more credit than they deserve)

baylock: baylock might trust morgran, but he doesn’t trust surina at all, not since she and the (presumed deceased) swashbuckler tried to use him as a scapegoat when they were being interrogated by evil government warlocks. and even then, he only trusts morgran to not leave him for dead. baylock’s a fiercely loyal person by nature, so he’s been trying to keep his party at arms length so he won’t be betrayed again. the closest he came to starting to trust them was right before he found out that they told the evil government warlock that they’d turn him in in exchange for their freedom when they were captured a while back (whether or not they actually intended to do so is irrelevant for baylock - he spent 5 years in prison after being his old thieve’s guild’s fall guy, he’s not about to let it happen again)

23. how do they feel about nicknames, titles, or labels that have been given to them? how do they feel about their name?

kip: kip’s given name is joffric ravenhall. he’s been going by the alias of ‘greenbough’ on the offchance that people have heard of his family or knew his father at some point, since he really doesn’t want to explain why he’s not a priest of the raven queen by now. ‘kip’, however, is what his family and friends call him, so it was a bit of a big deal to him when he told the party to call him kip, since he hadn’t been around anyone he considered family or friend in a few years. kip’s reeling a little bit over suddenly being called an ‘adverturer type’ - to him, he’s still just a transient weirdo who picks up odd jobs.

baylock: baylock craft’s name isn’t actually baylock craft (not yet anyway lol), he stole his late cellmate’s identity to take advantage of the jailbreak that came a few days too late. his name, ekleipsis caldor, isn’t exactly something he identifies with so much as what he was once called. his father never wanted him but got stuck with him when his mother bounced, so ‘caldor’ is more a formality than anything. ‘ekleipsis’ is the greek root of ‘eclipse’, for the eclipse he was born during - but moreso, ‘ekleipsis’ doesn’t mean ‘to be covered’ - it means ‘a disappearance or abandonment’. an event where the sun abandons the sky. baylock is a walking abandonment issue. he hasn’t taken a virtue name because he thinks it’s performative (which is where him officially taking the name ‘baylock craft’ as his name and not the identity of someone he’s pretending to be comes in - it’s the equivalent of naming himself for the virtue of rebellion without naming himself something stupid and embarrassing like ‘rebel’.)

izak: izak just got done being haunted by a ghost wizard who’s obsessed with names, probably because he’s had 4. izak was born dalethiel oakleaf back when he was an elf, but when he ran away after waking up as a tiefling he went by dally. then he was a mercenary for a while and his edgy mercenary name was viper. and then, when asked for his name by the cleric of sarenrae who rescued him in the wilderness, he said he didn’t have one worth giving, so the cleric told him he’d just call him izak then. that’s who izak is now, as far as he’s concerned, or at least who he wants to be. as he told the ghost wizard who tried to torment him with his birth name, that’s not his name anymore. dalethiel oakleaf was a young elf who died on his 50th birthday. izak’s got a perfectly good name, given to him by a kind man, and he doesn’t want to think about the time in his life he went by dally or viper.

karif: karif always introduces himself formally with his full name, in the family-given-familiar name pattern - ‘ixenvari karifgethisk fraurirthos, er, but you can just call me karif.’ this is because karif’s nickname, fraurirthos, the one his childhood friends and family call him, translates from draconic literally to ‘breathes secrets’. his nickname is snitch. he’s a little embarrassed about it. but ‘karifgethisk’ is a bit of a mouthful for those who don’t speak draconic, so shortening it to ‘karif’ suits fine.

29. who would they save? who would they be saved by? 

this has been a tough one, i’m not sure how to answer it for anyone.

64. do they value mercy or justice more?

kip: this honestly depends on his mood and your definitions of both ‘mercy’ and ‘justice’. he’s very easily led away by his emotions - both pity and compassion that could sway him to lean more towards mercy, and rage that tends to harden his heart and clear his head. he’s more than down to torture someone if he deems them evil, and he’ll destroy creatures like aberrations, fiends, and undead without a second thought, but he views life as a very precious thing - even when torturing an evil demon-summoning spellcaster, he still was trying to find ways out that resulted in that spellcaster getting out alive. this has come back to bite the party in the ass, since it was kip’s insistance that the party not kill all the guards on their little anarchy stunt that got them blackmailed to infiltrate the evil army of darkness, which is something he most certainly DOES NOT want to do.

65. what is holding them back?

kip: kip’s hang-ups about the soul and how he was raised are holding him back from becoming a stronger necromancer, while his grief and refusal to accept mortality hold him back from possibly still being some flavor of raven queen follower.

baylock: baylock’s hesitance and confusion over what he wants are holding him back from either fully embracing the rebellion or ditching it to get vengence

izak: izak’s self-loathing and fear of himself hold him back from interacting with people and forming meaningful relationships outside of the handful of people who’ve found out he’s a tiefling.

69 (nice): how would they describe their party members?

kip:

maya is... complicated. kip admires her pragmatism and her faith - it reminds him of his older sister, and he’s been missing that rock in his life. however, he butts heads with her a lot, because he finds her cold duty-bound outlook to be pointlessly cruel.

meera is wicked smart and talented, if a little misguided at times. he’s very big brother protective of her, always trying to offer her his dagger because ‘it’s a nice dagger’ (it’s +1)

amity is a good kid, and smarter than some may give him credit for. he’s fun to be around, and usually a level-headed presence, which makes it even more surprising just how ok he is with killing.

baylock:

morgran is an asshole, but is also probably the only person in the group who believes in this whole rebellion thing, so that counts for something. he’s decent people, can probably be trusted to see a mission through and not do anything completely stupid, but since he’s decent people he’s probably going to insist on staying on this path of lunacy with delusions of ‘taking down the Summit’. also, morgran shouldn’t be allowed to talk to anyone they meet, because he’s an asshole, and doesn’t bother pretending to be personable like baylock does.

surina is insane. she’s deranged, like everyone who tries to live outside the sanctums is. also just racist at times. when their cover gets blown or when they get mixed up with people they should be talking down, she’s gonna be the reason they all get killed.

porthos is was an idiot and a liability and just proved him right by running off and doing something rash and probably getting himself killed and also maybe compromising the whole rebellion which baylock doesn’t care about, so why does he feel like he should have done more to stop Porthos’ demise?

[alrighty-vigilante]

Felix Faust and his one braincelled offspring – an epitome of DC's lost potential; a himbo,a dumbass and a fucking rat

It's not like any of you asked but it's the thing that wakes me up at night. DC created a lot of great characters: good, evil and morally grey.

And just like that... They abandoned them. Not like "stopped using them in their stories" – stopped caring.

Let me show you what made me so obsessed with DC's Faustfamily: the good, the bad and the ugly.

The Good

Sebastian, the firstborn of Felix, Abraham to his Isaac, is constantly haunted by the sins of his father and bashed for them. Around him heroes are not heroes anymore, too distrustful to treat him with decency, always suspecting scheming.

The Bad

Since every magic user pays some price for their skills I feel like his price is not being able to experience love or not for long. In Outsiders (1993) it was stated, or so I believe, that he has a hard time experiencing feelings because of his lack of soul. Even if not: since Halo was reborn many times, she doesn't even remember Sebastian. June Moon was completely apathetic after Enchantress persona was ripped out of her. Zatanna is Zatanna, I think their relationship was only mentioned in Mystik U so it's thankfully not anywhere near canon. In totally awful Suicide Squad: Black Files it's told Sebastian's wife is dying (and pregnant) so he enchanted her until he finds a cure. Even motherly love he cannot experience – no matter the author's approach, his mother is not around him for long and he feels responsible for her death which may have be the reason why she tried to look after his sister for as long as it was possible. Sorry I need a moment...

I'd have to be naïve to even hope for anyone in DC being so competent to show Sebastian as aromantic/demiromantic without showing people on this spectrum as soulless.

Fauna lived to be "lesser than Sebastian". Suffered the same fate as her brother but was neglected by her father from the start, unlike Sebastian who was taught by him some time. I don't think she and her father nor she and her brother ever bonded in any way. For me Fauna is the embodiment of the anger only an abused abandoned teenager can feel. Raw blinding rage not directed at anything in particular but everything and everyone including herself because she is not sure what and who should she hate the most. And in the end, it is she who suffers the most. It drives her a path of evil. All her attempts at being better than everyone and most of all – better than her father, are in real just attempts to get his approval.

The only time she felt free was when she got with Syonide (yeah folks she's lesbian) but, well, it didn't last long.

One thing about her that especially wakes me up at night is how in Raven she mentions her ancestors but stops, saying she's better than them anyway. Well, there are no such characters in whole DC. No Majica the Magnificent or whoever. Let's pretend it's not just a hole in the universe because probably it is just that: it leads to conclusion that Fauna made it up herself to back up her narcissistic attitude and the right to do what she want and take what she want OR her father made that up, and that leads us to Felix Faust himself.

The Ugly

WHERE DO I EVEN START, if I start to lost what's wrong with him you'll be reading this to the end of your life.

The most prominent personality trait of his is that Dumb bitch hours are 24 hours. Second: he is full of opposites. Is he intelligent? As hell. Is he still a gullible idiot? Oh yeah. Is he doing bad things? Yes. Is he a villain? No, he had his time of being neutral/good. He is driven by the need for power. What would he do if he gets it? The most probable scenario: nothing. What would he need it for, then? I can bet all my money, which are around 5$ and a bagel, that what he really want is respect (and that ties neatly with making up his genealogy tree). Now, his background varies depending on the author, of course they couldn't develop consistency, but many things are common nonetheless. So, if we just generally look at him, we see a man who, before being possessed by 5000 years young ghost, was nothing more but street magician – guess how much respect he got. This old sorceress that eventually took over his body also was humiliated in a great defeat. In the 70s he was called the greatest foe of the Justice League. Nowadays, even some drunk warlock junkie rat (yeah, I mean Constantine lol) makes fun of him. What could he crave more than some basic "this is Felix Faust, the greatest sorcerer alive who hoards all the knowledge"?

I would say it doesn't matter whether he sacrificed his son to help his dying wife or to get more power (he later sacrificed his daughter just for the latter reason. He just never learns). Generally sacrificing your children is shitty thing to do so there's no justification for his actions. He doesn't know when to stop and even if he feels regret for things he has done, he just keeps going in an everlasting chase.

Damn, in a way he is quite relatable: despite the efforts, he fails every time. Despite the education in three majors, he is so gullible. Making him not talented enough to match his knowledge truly is tragic.

What DC never explored, and never will, is he was a single parent, who didn't know how to carry on without his wife, how to bring their children up. Too focused on his "career" he neglected his children. Having Sebastian to grow up to be a better person and better sorcerer than he ever will be visibly drives him up the wall. At the same time he struggles, trying to get close with his son a bit – these clumsy attempts to scold him are actually meant to be compliments. (No such scenes with him and Fauna because apparently writers forgot about her completely smh).

I don't enjoy New52 events but I think a lot about how Faust was trapped in the Tower of Fate with Neron, the ruler of hell and also his abuser. He kinda had it coming but it's traumatic nonetheless

Another thing that could be explored by DC more is that in a way, heroes are pretty much the guardians of the status quo. Not only Sebastian takes the blame for everything and is not trusted by them, but they also haven't done much to keep Felix on the good side, never thanked him for his service nor did they tried not to push him into villainy. But such behaviour also affect other characters so I won't be focusing on this.

To sum it up nicely: just because this is about fictional magicians doesn't mean their story is unrelatable. People out there are emotionally absent in their family's life sometimes because of tragedy they went through or because they were not ready, or because something else. People may hate their abusers, love their abusers, be children of abusers. Parents put their children through harmful situations. Family are not always bonded and happy. Family members may long for contact but don't know how to get it. Etc etc, you probably got it.

Not only these characters suffers from lost potential but many, many more. Instead of seeing same characters like Batman or Wonder Woman over and over again, I'd prefer creators to go back and develop what they already have.

[kinetic-elaboration]

November 2: The Wanheda Tape, Writer’s Commentary

Today, some notes on The Wanheda Tape, my take-off of The Blair Witch Project.

This was my first idea for Chopped Choice: Horror, and the one I initially thought was more developed/easier, because I had the whole general structure for it: Octavia finds a tape, the tape has a ghost-hunting adventure gone wrong it, scary stuff happens, the end. As opposed to what became Mad Women, which was just two unconnected images at that time. But when I realized the Blair Witch idea was a literally a story in a story in a THIRD story and that I didn’t have any concrete ideas for the innermost story, the legend upon which the main ghost-hunting story would be built, I backed away and decided to work on developing Mad Women instead.

Then I finished that fic earlier than anticipated. And I still really liked my Blair Witch idea because I love the super cliche, traditional horror stuff: ghosts, witches, woods, autumn, etc. Sci fi horror was fun but it didn’t scratch that particular itch.

So one day after work, I took a walk, and suddenly all of the disparate, scattered ideas I’d been having for The Wanheda Tape came together, and I knew I just had to write it.

The big problem so far had been, as I said, the legend. I’d already decided I wanted to include Princess Mechanic exes as one of my tropes, and I wanted the legend to relate to them in some way, even just as a thematic parallel. I wanted the witch of the legend to have a lost love, too. I also figured the legend would have to be fairly old. And I toyed early on with the idea of like a utopia/commune/separate woods-y community that goes wrong.

The canon legend Wanheda was an immediately attractive option to base the rest of it around, because what’s creepier than a witch who controls death, a witch in some way associated directly with death? Plus I like canon parallels in modern au fics. But Clarke was already in the story, so that seemed impossible. I set it aside.

I thought about using the Grounders, and paralleling the woods-y community/main town war with the inter-clan wars of the canon. Perhaps Lexa as the witch, and Costia as her lost love? This was plausible but it didn’t seem to fit right, I think in part because Lexa isn’t a minor community leader; she’s not a separatist. She is the main one in charge, the Official Commander. Plus, it seemed complicated, trying to parse out Grounder drama and turn it into a legend that would then parallel a modern delinquent au.

What suddenly fit into place for me was using Wanheda, not despite Clarke’s presence in the modern au, but BECAUSE of it. The parallel between the two would then be immediately obvious, with really no work at all on my part, and it would allow me to try to do a story with multiple interpretations. I’m not the biggest fan of ‘maybe it was supernatural, maybe it was all in x character’s head’ but this was the sort of story that lent itself to ambiguity, plus I could always heavily imply that the supernatural reading was right.

So in other words, modern!Clarke and Wanheda would be paralleled, connected in the text, and it would be unclear if the creepy things happening were directly the witch’s doing, the witch through Clarke, or directly Clarke. Then Jasper, Monty, and Octavia would summarize the three possibilities in the final scene, to make it more clear. Octavia sees her as the mastermind of everything: she lured her friends to the woods, killed them, escaped herself, and got away with it. Jasper sees her as a tool used by the witch, even if his version doesn’t quite sound properly supernatural: something happened to her, through her, in the woods, and that broke her. And Monty sees her as a victim of the witch just as surely as the other three were. (I admit the three weren’t quite as separate as I’d wanted...and this was after re-writing!)

I’m not sure if all three possibilities are really equally convincing, but I do like to think they’re plausible, even that Clarke was somehow doing everything: going to the woods was her idea; she was in charge of navigation, and could have gotten them ‘lost’ on purpose; she was the last person to see Miller, and she wasn’t with Murphy and Raven when they saw the fire. And then of course Murphy sees her chanting in the woods--or he sees someone who he identifies in dialogue to be Clarke, and who seems to be her based on dress, although I was careful not to have the neutral observer of the camera actually name her, because--is it her? Really?

But still, there are distinctly unnatural phenomena going on, and distinct witch-iness. And Clarke’s involvement seems undeniable. That she either innately has or has created a connection to Wanheda is clear. To what extent the witch works through her, uses her body, and to what extent the witch exists as a completely separate, even physical, presence is what I hoped would be ambiguous. Is the figure Murphy sees a possessed Clarke, or the actual Clarke, or a bewitched Clarke (like Miller in the final scene)? Is the person holding the camera in the end a possessed Clarke? The witch herself? If the latter, where is Clarke? Dead? Still lost in the woods?

Wandering the streets of Arizona?

Does it matter that I chose to include four figures in the woods in Monty’s memory, and not five?

I didn’t answer all of my own questions, but I do have ideas that I worked off of, mostly to keep continuity.

First, Clarke imo is very good at lying and doesn’t mind lying if she feels she has a good reason to do so. So she is a liar in this fic, on at least one occasion. When she takes the book from the tree, it is not empty. She keeps it for the writing inside.

Another possible lie: that she doesn’t know why she thinks the witch is real. I think it’s plausible she’s been to the woods before and had weird things happen to her, or felt some inexplicable presence, in which case she is manipulating her friends by not being forthright about what they’re doing. Alternately, this is her first woods-y expedition, but her inherent connection to Wanheda allows her to ‘feel’ a presence the others cannot.

Second, the general outline of Wanheda’s journey and Clarke’s are the same: both using magic they cannot control and shouldn’t be messing with to defend/protect their loved ones, perhaps particularly motivated by residual feelings for lost loves (Wanheda’s need to avenge her lover in particular, Clarke’s need to protect Raven in particular), and both face consequences for their actions.

Wanheda was always a witch, and benevolent magic allowed her community to thrive, as the village believed. But after the villagers attacked, she turned to black magic for her revenge. It was successful, but the price she paid was that her community never thrived again. (Yeah this is kinda a moralistic story lol.)

Clarke tries to use witchcraft too, when she sees her friends being threatened--like Murphy, she reads the strung up dolls as a warning. So on the second night, after reading the book, she tried to protect the group using the circle of stones. It wasn’t successful, but the more magic she tried, the more caught up in it she became, losing herself in the process. Whether she was the active tool of the witch or a more general casualty, like Miller, I left open.

I didn’t think too much about the gender dynamics of it--except for the Wanheda legend, which is obviously about Competent/Independent Women Being Threatening, and the chaos that comes from men’s reaction to that--but now that I’ve rewatched the actual Blair Witch Project, I kinda want to poke at that more. Not totally sure I’ll like what I’d find in my own work lol. A tale of two women punished for their hubris? Maybe.

Still, it’s more problematic if women are punished where men are not. At least Wanheda and Clarke actually did something. At least they tried. Wanheda made a deal with the devil (perhaps literally) out of understandable rage and sorrow, and Clarke, called to that history, the physical manifestation of that memory, flew a little too close to the flame. To the extent that she and her friends are punished for their curiosity--this is just a trope of horror, which is in so many ways about allowing us to imagine what we cannot really see, and showing us the worst case scenario of the curiosity we can’t satisfy in real life.

[gomzdrawfr]

First words with Uncle Simon

part 1 | part 2

[ereri-lost-and-found]

Hi! I love what you do! Honestly think it’s a blessing lol. But I was wondering if you have some recommendations of your own for books like heartwarming, soft and just not super crazy? If you do tyyy

Hello, Anon! Thank you so much for your kind words! It really means a lot to us :) I’ve listed some stories that I always turn too when I’m feeling down and need something to pick me up. I tried to avoid ones with too much drama and just lots of fluff <3 

~~~

It started with a Fish Tank by ReluctantHero

(Rated M, words 11214, oneshot, complete) 

Single Father Levi enjoys taking his daughter, Mikasa to her favorite restaurant. The food is good, the prices reasonable, there’s a giant fish tank, not to mention the gorgeous server with the bright green eyes and legs for days.

~~~

But You’re The Only One Who Thinks I’m Funny by PresquePommes

(Rated M, words 3774, oneshot, complete) 

In which Levi is a popular novelist whose ridiculous thug vocabulary has to undergo severe editing before it can hit the presses, and in which Eren might just be the only person who genuinely likes the originals better.

Levi doesn’t know how to react.

~~~

Sex Sells by PresquePommes

(Rated M, words 3442, oneshot, complete) 

In which Levi doesn’t give enough of a fuck to shame people and Eren is so disconnected from the concept of shame that it’s a literal non-issue.

~~~

The Curious Case of Eren Jaeger by StarChaser93

(Rated M, words 123500 multichapter, complete)

Levi’s on his first day teaching when he tries to text Hange.

Eren’s in hospital when he gets Levi’s text instead.

It’s only slightly homicidal.

**Or the wrong number texting AU that nobody asked for

~~~

Temporary Mistake, Permanent Fix by ChappytheBunny

(Rated Teen, words 138715 multichapter, complete) 

Mistakes happen. A slip of the tongue, a broken glass in the dishwasher, or an embarrassing typo in the middle of a text message. They’re small hindrances to everyday life, yet they can all be fixed by either an apology, a dust pan, or an asterisk. There is one thing – and only one – however, that Levi has never considered to be a mistake, and that is a tattoo. It’s not because he’s been a tattoo artist for over a decade, and it’s not because he’s owned his own tattoo shop for half of that. It’s because he’s a man who lives by the past and believes in its importance. So, why? Why erase something that, at one point in time, you wanted to be a part of your body forever?

~~~

gray hairs and all by elliewritesthings

(Rated Teen, words 3022, oneshot, complete) 

As if to mock him, it appears exactly a week after Levi’s celebrated his 40th birthday. A single gray hair.

~~~

Deal With It by Corporal_Levi_cleans_my_house

(Rated E, words 138278, multichapter, complete) 

Eren and Levi are mates. They bicker rather than coo and murmur, and Levi is always complaining because Eren is his Alpha and that is incredibly unjust. Eren is a brat and he knows it, and Levi is a diva and he shows it. Omega or no Omega, this raven-haired drama queen won’t let anybody push him around or give him orders.…except for the stupidly handsome, often grinning, generally dopey brat that just so happens to be his mate. His Alpha. His everything.Fuck.

Or, the omega!Levi x alpha!Eren boyfriends fic that nobody asked for but you’re getting anyway because it’s fic Christmas! (not really, I just needed an excuse to write this to de-stress from UNI)

~~~

Hey Lover by wasterella

(Rated E, words, multichapter, complete) 

Fed up with being teased for not having a girlfriend, Eren joins a site that gives the perception of being taken. Little does he know that the sassy and crass girlfriend he asked for isn’t exactly what he had in mind.

~~~

Fanboys by mongoose_bite

(Rated E, words 8858, oneshot, complete)

Eren is living the fanboy dream. The young German has managed to do what very few other foreigners have and landed a job at a Japanese animation studio. As if that weren’t amazing enough, one of the senior animators on the project, Levi, has been an idol of Eren’s since he was just fifteen.

Eren feels he must maintain a professional facade and try not to be too obvious in his fanboying, but an conversation on twitter reveals that Levi might just be a bit of a fanboy himself.

~~~

Give the Dog a Bone® by TheSpazzBot

(Rated E, words 16029, multichapter, complete) 

Levi was just looking for man’s best friend when he adopted the dog. What he got instead was man’s best wingman.

(or the AU where Levi’s dog tries to hump Eren every time it sees him)

~~~

The Little Titan Café by pocketsizedtitan

(Rated Teen, words, multichapter, complete)

Just another cliche AU in which Eren works as a barista in his mother’s café, specializing in latte art. And then there’s Levi, who’s not exactly your typical patron, because, well, he’s blunt and rude (which Eren supposes isn’t that much different from regular customers) but mostly he just confuses Eren’s poor little homosexual heart.

~~~

Sartorial Elegance by A26

(Rated E, words 50289, multichapter, complete) 

Garrison Fine Tailored Clothing is famous in the men’s clothing industry for bespoke and made-to-measure suits. Their head tailor Levi has a hard time keeping his eyes off the new salesman upstairs, and not just because his trousers need tailoring properly.

~~~

Chasing Disaster by freshia

(Rated T, 3 753words, complete)

Eren crashes into Levi's life. Literally. And he takes out a fence and a mailbox along the way.

~~~

you set my heart on fire by driedupwishes 

(Rated T, 4 559words, complete)

“Your mother’s going to think I’m a fucking idiot,” Eren mutters. It’s soft, half muffled into the scarf Levi still has wrapped around his neck as Eren drops his head to rest there. The ghost of Eren’s breath against his skin sends a wave of goosebumps across his skin, even though the inside of the rink is blissfully warm compared to the drifting snow outside. Levi rolls his eyes and pushes back from the wall of the rink, wedging himself in between Eren and the ice so that when he leans up on tiptoe they’re almost nose to nose.

“My mother’s not going to think you’re a fucking idiot just because can’t tell the difference between a toe loop and flip. She doesn’t have a goddamn quiz ready for you, okay? You could mix up ice dancing with pair skating and she wouldn’t give a fuck.”

[mendesstg-blog]

1 - 200 I WANNA KNOOOW 😊💕

Took all day, but she answered mine so I’ll answer her’s ❤️

200: My crush’s name is: Shawn Mendes ofc


199: I was born in: Wisconsin, USA. Date: Aug 26


198: I am really: Passionate about music, caring, and shy until I get to know you


197: My cellphone company is: Sprint


196: My eye color is: Brown (sometimes hazel or green, but usually brown)


195: My shoe size is: Depends on the shoe. I range from 6 to 8.5


194: My ring size is: 6


193: My height is: 5'1" (yeah ik I’m short but I like my height lol)


192: I am allergic to: idk, but I have seasonal allergies


191: My 1st car was: Haven’t gotten it yet


190: My 1st job was: babysit I guess (if that counts)


189: Last book you read: Sherlock Holmes


188: My bed is: a futon at my dad’s and a normal bed (? lol) at my mom’s. They’re both comfy


187: My pet(s): 1 dog, his name is Koby


186: My best friend: Is amazing and I love her so much. She’s helped me through a lot. 


185: My favorite shampoo is: Head and Shoulders


184: Xbox or ps3: Xbox
183: Piggy banks are: Cool. I still have one and I just emptied it for the Shawn Mendes concert lol


182: In my pockets: don’t have pockets on my pants rn


181: On my calendar: School events, vacations, college stuff, and weddings.


180: Marriage is: beautiful when you see two people absolutely in love with each other


179: Spongebob can: give me a crabby patty. Seriously. I’ve been waiting since I was 5
 

178: My mom: Annoys me sometimes, we don’t agree on certain things, but I still love her. 


177: The last three songs I bought were: Havana by Camila Cabello, Kiwi by Harry Styles, and It’s a Vibe by 2 Chainz


176: Last YouTube video watched: makeup videos lol


175: How many cousins do you have?: 9


174: Do you have any siblings?: 2 younger brothers


173: Are your parents divorced?: yes.


172: Are you taller than your mom?: We’re the same height by she argues that she’s taller


171: Do you play an instrument?: Clarinet, violin, piano, ukulele, and guitar 


170: What did you do yesterday?: spent all day with my school’s marching band and ended up looking like neopolitan ice cream because i got so burnt


[ I Believe In ] 

169: Love at first sight: idk


168: Luck: yes


167: Fate: yes


166: Yourself: YES OFC


165: Aliens: yes


164: Heaven: yes more or less


163: Hell: yes more or less


162: God: yes more or less


161: Horoscopes: idk, I occasionally read mine


160: Soul mates: idk


159: Ghosts: yes


158: Gay Marriage: YES 🏳️‍🌈


157: War: fuck no


156: Orbs: maybe? Idk what they are


155: Magic: idk


[ This or That ]

154: Hugs or Kisses: depends. Hugs i guess


153: Drunk or High: neither. You can have fun without alcohol or drugs


152: Phone or Online: both


151: Redheads or Black haired: both


150: Blondes or Brunettes: both. Honestly hair color doesn’t matter


149: Hot or cold: both


148: Summer or winter: summer but like winter is beautiful too (i just don’t like shoveling)


147: Autumn or Spring: both


146: Chocolate or vanilla: chocolate


145: Night or Day: both lol

 
144: Oranges or Apples: apples wellllll oranges no both (IM SORRY FOR BEING INDECISIVE)


143: Curly or Straight hair: curly


142: McDonalds or Burger King: McDonalds


141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate:both


140: Mac or PC: Mac


139: Flip flops or high heels: Flip flops for everyday wear and heels for events


138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: sweet and poor


137: Coke or Pepsi: Coke


136: Hillary or Obama: OBAMA!!!


135: Buried or cremated: idk


134: Singing or Dancing: both


133: Coach or Chanel: Coach


132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: idk


131: Small town or Big city: Both


130: Wal-Mart or Target: i like both but I shop at walmart more


129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: Adam Sandler


128: Manicure or Pedicure: Manicure


127: East Coast or West Coast: hard choice


126: Your Birthday or Christmas: hmm


125: Chocolate or Flowers: which ever


124: Disney or Six Flags: Disney only because I’ve never been to six flags


123: Yankees or Red Sox: Red sox


[ Here’s What I Think About ]

122: War: I think it is dumb. Fighting over cultural difference shouldn’t happen instead it differences should be embraced. Who knows how many different wars there will be in my future let alone my future children’s.


121: George Bush: I honestly don’t have one


120: Gay Marriage: Everyone should be able to marry whomever they love. Why does it have to be voted on whether they can get married or not? Just let them live, be loved, and be happy.


119: The presidential election: It amazes me how he was elected. I am team Hillary. I have my opinions and you have yours. I respect that, but I’d rather not share mine.


118: Abortion: It is 2017, almost 2018, and women still don’t have control of their own bodies. I’m pro-choice. Abortion should be given as a choice to women. My mom had an abortion before she had me because she was really ill.


117: MySpace: haha never used it so don’t have an opinion about it


116: Reality TV: yeah it can be fun to watch but honestly what’s the point? Everyone’s own lives are hectic too


115: Parents: Some are great, some are bad. Some are controlling, some don’t care enough.


114: Back stabbers: I’ve dealt with many of you, but it’s your fault that you lost out on a great friend. Hated you guys for a while because I thought we were good friends, but I’m thankful toxic people like you are out of my life.


113: Ebay: is the shit. I got a crap ton of barbie clothes for my dolls when I was younger from there. Haven’t gone on there for a while tho


112: Facebook: the go-to app for when parents are around. That’s the only most censored app I have that I go on when they’re around


111: Work: wish I had one because all of my friends are making money, but once I get one I’ll wish I didn’t have a job so I can have more free time. It’s not like my parents will let me get a job anyways.


110: My Neighbors: Never really talk to any of my neighbors at my dads or my moms. Pretty sure they get annoyed with how loud I play my music


109: Gas Prices: i remember when it costed $5 or $6 a gallon. Please stay at $2.35 


108: Designer Clothes: hella cool but also hella expensive. Thankful for cute cheap stores because I’m about to be a broke college student


107: College: thankful for the opportunity to get a higher education, but it’s always super expensive. If more jobs require a degree, why can’t we just make it more efficient to get a degree with less money? But that’s also too much to ask for


106: Sports: I like watching it and playing it is also fun. 


105: My family: My parents divorced had me go through shit mentally and physically. (no they didn’t abuse me, their divorce was just difficult) I hope one day you two will stop acting like children and not beat down the other parent when we spend the night at your house. But I know it won’t ever end. I’m thankful my younger brothers won’t remember your divorce and they’re what keeps me going.

104: The future: I can’t wait to see what you hold. I can’t wait to go to college. I can’t wait to go into my career choice. I can’t wait to meet that special person. I can’t wait to start a family. I’m just excited for you
[ Last time I ]

103: Hugged someone: An hour ago when I put my brothers to sleep

102: Last time you ate: idk 2-3 hours ago


101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in a while: a year ago


100: Cried in front of someone: yesterday


99: Went to a movie theater: 2 years ago


98: Took a vacation: idk if you count it, but my school trip this past spring 


97: Swam in a pool: 2 years ago


96: Changed a diaper: 4 years ago


95: Got my nails done: I think I was 7? Idk I do my nail myself now


94: Went to a wedding: 12 years ago


93: Broke a bone: never broke a bone


92: Got a piercing: I got my ears pierced before I turned 1 and I got my nose pierced on my birthday last year


91: Broke the law: idk
90: Texted: like 5 min ago


[ MISC ]

89: Who makes you laugh the most: my brothers or my best friend Kate


88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: Brothers or my doggo


87: The last movie I saw: Boss baby


86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: going to college, interning, and getting a job in my career (Ik it’s 3 things but I’m excited lol)


85: The thing i’m not looking forward to: Moving away from loved ones


84: People call me: Mia


83: The most difficult thing to do is: Forgive someone who hurt you badly. Like truly forgive them 


82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: never gotten a speeding ticket


81: My zodiac sign is: Virgo


80: The first person i talked to today was: My dad


79: First time you had a crush: 5 or 6 and it was on Zac Efron


78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: idk, maybee my best friend


77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: Yesterday 


76: Right now I am talking to: my internet besties ❤️


75: What are you going to do when you grow up: something in the music industry


74: I have/will get a job: whenever my parents let me


73: Tomorrow: I will get up early, ride on a bus for 3 hours, and march in a parade


72: Today: I cut my hair short AND I FUCKING LOVE IT


71: Next Summer: I will try to spend as much time with my bestfriend before we leave for different colleges


70: Next Weekend: I get to spend with my best friend


69: I have these pets: Beagle- Eskimo cross


68: The worst sound in the world: whining when they don’t get what they want or smacking gum


67: The person that makes me cry the most is: honestly whoever cries in front of me I will cry with them


66: People that make you happy: Family, my dog, and my friends


65: Last time I cried: yesterday


64: My friends are: honest and caring


63: My computer is: an old macbook pro but it still works and I love it


62: My School: is full of fake people and drama


61: My Car: Don’t have one


60: I lose all respect for people who: lie, cheat, and treat people like they are less than them


59: The movie I cried at was: I can’t remember but I think TFIOS


58: Your hair color is: brown


57: TV shows you watch: Shadowhunters, Raven’s Home, Jane the virgin, Riverdale, and others I can’t remember


56: Favorite web site: Tumblr or twitter


55: Your dream vacation: big city in new york with my best friend or toronto with my grand parents/aunts


54: The worst pain I was ever in was: during my parents divorce 


53: How do you like your steak cooked: medium rare


52: My room is: boring, cozy, and a little bit messy


51: My favorite celebrity is: Shawn Mendes, duh


50: Where would you like to be: Somewhere where I can say “I finally made it"


49: Do you want children: Yes!! I can’t wait to have kids


48: Ever been in love: I don’t think so


47: Who’s your best friend: Some beautiful, crazy, weird girl named Kate i guess (let’s see if she reads this later)


46: More guy friends or girl friends: I have more girl friends than I do guys, but I wish I had more guy friends


45: One thing that makes you feel great is: music


44: One person that you wish you could see right now: My grandpa


43: Do you have a 5 year plan: I guess yeah, but it’s very loosely planned


42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: no


41: Have you pre-named your children: thought of names, but not planned them lol


40: Last person I got mad at: idk


39: I would like to move to: Cali, New york, by my grand parent in canada, and where I am now


38: I wish I was a professional: something in music


[ My Favorites ]

37: Candy: Sour gummy worms or cinnamon bears


36: Vehicle: Jeep
 or Range Rover

35: President: OBAMA


34: State visited: Illinois or Florida


33: Cell Phone provider: Sprint


32: Athlete: Jose Bautista 


31: Actor: Rupert Grint


30: Actress: Zendaya, Lucy Hale, or Emma Watson

29: Singer: Shawn Mendes or Selena Gomez


28: Band: R5 or 5SOS


27: Clothing store: Ross or American Eagle 


26: Grocery store: Walmart


25: TV show: Shadowhunters 


24: Movie: HARRY POTTER SERIES


23: Website: Again, tumblr or twitter


22: Animal: doggies or dolphins


21: Theme park: no clue


20: Holiday: christmas


19: Sport to watch: Baseball


18: Sport to play: Baseball or volleyball 


17: Magazine: Vogue


16: Book: The Mortal Instruments Series


15: Day of the week: Friday


14: Beach: Clear water in FL


13: Concert attended: Illuminate tour (on Aug 6th, 2017)


12: Thing to cook: Pasta anything


11: Food: chicken alfredo or pasta anything or anything really I’m not picky
 

10: Restaurant: Chinese restaurants 
 

9: Radio station: idk
 

8: Yankee candle scent: idk lol that pumpkin one??
 

7: Perfume: Signature by Shawn Mendes or Bombshell by VS
 

6: Flower: Pink hibiscus 
 

5: Color: aqua
 

4: Talk show host: Ellen Degeneres
 

3: Comedian: Jo Koy, Kevin Hart, or Gabriel Iglesias
 

2: Dog breed: honestly any breed
 

1: Did you answer all these truthfully?: of course 💕

[gomzdrawfr]

Please! I need to know how the others feel about bear Price and his little cute tail. He's so fricken cute, I can't! 🤍

well...

because im biased towards Ghost and Raven...

[gomzdrawfr]

something about food

[gomzdrawfr]

twt is gonna flame me for this and im not trying to deal another headache but on the note of the royal ghostprice thing- there was a few comments and discussion which I liked

One being Nik visiting and Price is properly smitten, so Ghost better start returning Price's attention or else...but also...what if nikghostprice...eh...?

The other, funnier in my head thought, is Price is no fuck boy, he's actually meeting the same person just at different locations, and there was no fucking involved whatsoever, because Price is just requesting the person to bite him and leave claw marks on him just to make a show

This is the part where I would get flame and sacrificed at the pit but it's Knight!Raven. No one know it's her because she's covered in armour and her face is obscure on duty, so when she's wearing different outfits whether as a "stable boy", a chef or a Princess, everyone thought it's a different person each time.

But Price is still a whore-

Raven: you really need to up your game, your majesty Price: I'm trying! ow- not so hard with the bite marks- Raven: this is not even hard!! You think he's going to go gentle on you? Price: well no, matter of fact I want him to go hard on me *sniff* *gesture Ghost's big arms* Raven: you are ridiculous, your majesty Price: careful there, just because I let you bite and claw on me doesn't mean I'll go easy on you Raven: oh please don't threaten me with a good time...*bites harder* Price: aCK-

[gomzdrawfr]

Sorry this is prob weird but I’m imagining Raven and Ghost working at amusement parks (they look like they don’t belong there)

Raven is the kind that counts down and then pulls the lever at the count of 2, smirking under her hat

Ghost is the same, but he finishes counting and then lets the suspense build in uncomfortable silence, cuz he wanna see the faces of the people wondering if there's a malfunction, and then only Ghost pulls the lever