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melon-wing · 5 years ago

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A Confession of Love Part 1 [Grian x Ren]

Betaread by tha amazingly talented @aaronampora-ao3 Warning: This is sad! This may hurt a bit. ~*~

Grian looked down at his communicator, a sad smile playing on his lips. How could he be so happy and sad at the same time? A laugh bubbled up without him being able to hold it back. He wiped a stray tear from his face. This was stupid. He shouldn’t be as emotionally invested in this as he was. Ren was talking to everyone like that. It was just the way he was. Ren loved everyone and in return it was so easy to love him…

And like everyone, Grian had told him that much countless times. He had sent Ren so many ‘I love you’s, just like all the other Hermits had in their group chat. And he wanted to believe that he was still special, that there was something between them. He wanted to believe it so badly. But deep down he really knew he wasn’t. He was exactly like everyone else to Ren. Grian looked at the message again and his heart felt so weird, like it wanted to jump and ache at the same time.

<Ren> I love you so much, man. Talking to you is so much fun. I almost walked off a cliff because I couldn’t take my eyes off your message. I really wanna see you again.

Grian hesitated, his fingers twitching over the little keypad. He knew what he wanted to say, but at the same time he really didn’t. He wanted to drop hints so badly, but hints at what? That he was in love? But was he?

It was just so fucking confusing. They hadn’t even interacted all that much since he joined this world. Their bases were far apart and they only sometimes crossed paths in the shopping district. They mostly chatted in the group chat, and lately privately as well. How could you be in love with someone you had barely spent any time with?

He started typing.

<Grian> You know, I really love you too. I love talking to you. It’s weird to imagine a life before Hermitcraft now…

He sent the message. But he wasn’t happy with it yet. He felt the urge to say more, to drop some hint. An ‘I love you’ was so common in their chats, it had lost it’s deeper meaning. Everybody on the server said it.

‘You know… My friend Taurtis asked about us and I told him I would date you if you were into guys and I was here for longer than just this one season’

Grian stared at the words he had written for a while. He really wanted to send it, but he was scared of the way Ren might react. What if that went too far? It was nothing like a love confession. Ren might just take it as another of their overly affectionate talks and nothing more… But what if it made him uncomfortable? He didn’t want to lose the way they talked to each other so easily. Things might get awkward.

Grian leaned back against the tree, looking up at the little piece of sky he could see through the skylight of his aviary. The leaves and sky got a little blurry slowly, as his eyes filled with tears. Fuck. Why was he starting to cry again? He was so confused. This was all so confusing. He should know what he wanted.

He didn’t.

With every new message that Ren sent him, he hoped for some hint inside. Some hidden meaning. But at the same time he dreaded it. What if Ren was interested? Grian would be gone again after they were done in this world. He had only asked Xisuma to join them for one Season. He’d move on in a year. They’d be worlds apart. Was he ready to commit to something like that… And was it selfish to maybe hope that Ren would come with him?

Damn, he wasn’t a stupid lovestruck teenager anymore. He was old enough to have a grip on his emotions.

He took a deep breath. He’d been there before. And he could do this.

“I decide who I fall in love with”, Grian said in a quiet whisper, the words he had told himself so often, every time his heart had threatened to beat faster for someone. “If I don’t want to, I won’t fall for him. I won’t fall in love. I can’t… I’m done with love. I’m happy right now with the way things are.”

He looked back down at the communicator, his own message seemingly glaring back at him. But what if there was a chance? Would he take it? His finger hovered over the send button. He wanted to send it so badly.

He didn’t.

Instead he deleted it all again.

He wasn’t in love. He wasn’t. He wouldn’t allow himself to fall. He wasn’t ready to be disappointed. He had been disappointed too often. He had let himself fall, believing his crush was also interested, only to fall into a void of sadness. This time he wouldn’t let himself fall. He would keep pretending nothing was wrong. To Ren, he was just like the others. The love confessions to him were nothing special.

And he wasn’t in love.

Because he had decided he wasn’t.

But if he wasn’t, why wouldn’t the tears stop coming? Why did his heart hurt when he made that decision? Did he want to fall in love…?

No.

He had decided he didn’t want to. His heart should really stop trying to be so dramatic. This was real life and not some romance novel.

<Ren> Right back at you, my dude! Maybe you will change your mind and stay with us for longer than one season ;)

Grian sighed. His head was a mess. He wasn’t able to think clearly anymore. He… He was just tired. He was imagining things. He wasn’t really falling. He just needed a night of rest. Just one night and in the morning everything would look different again. He’d have a clear head once more. He’d be rational. He’d not be a crying mess over some stupid messages that meant nothing.

<Grian> I’m going to crash now. Talk to you tomorrow.

<Ren> I’m looking forward to it. Love you!

Without answering and with a heavy heart Grian put the communicator aside. One of his parrots hopped over, eyeing the device curiously and then decided that it wasn’t interesting enough, instead going for Grian’s lap, snuggling against him.

Grian closed his eyes. Tomorrow the world would be different. His future self would laugh at the mess he was right now.

Grian awoke when a felt a stinging sensation on his head. He opened his eyes to look at one of the little birds, trying to rip out some of his hairs, probably to build its nest. Grian gently pushed it away, which earned him an annoyed squawk.

He took out his communicator and looked at it. There were only a few new messages in their group chat. And suddenly he felt so stupid about the evening before. Why had he gotten so upset again? He was doing that to himself. He probably wanted to suffer. He cursed his brain for that. He got up, putting his parrot onto one of the low hanging branches. He still felt the urge to message Ren – to check if he really was over yesterday's emotions. Or at least he told himself that was the reason every time a voice in his head suggested something else.

He flew down his base and stepped through the portal. He had a busy day ahead. They were about to update their world’s code in a few days and he’d need to work on Sahara a bit more. There was so much to prepare. He had no time to think about some stupid emotions.

Grian was in the middle of trimming the trees in Sahara’s courtyard, when a loud beep made him almost fall from the ladder with how fast he scrambled to get his communicator out. He berated himself for being that jumpy, but he couldn’t help it. When he looked down and saw Mumbo’s name flashing over his screen he gave a sad sigh and then stopped, eyes going wide. No! He so hadn’t been hoping for Ren to message him. No way!

He dropped a quick reply to Mumbo and then checked the group chat again. And there he was, Ren, throwing around words of love. Something rose up inside of Grian as he read about Ren gushing over Iskall and his style of building. It didn’t take him long to realise he was jealous. And with that realisation came a pressing amount of guilt. He loved Iskall dearly. He himself threw similar words at him all the time… Iskall deserved the love and praise. And Grian wasn’t in love anyways. His brain had no right to be jealous, because he and Ren? They were just friends and wouldn’t ever be anything more. He had decided that and his brain and heart were supposed to follow his decision.

He started typing a message of support into the group chat and the moment he sent it off, Ren greeted him, with a bunch of hearts and excitement.

<Ren> GRIAN! Have I told you today how much I love you already? Because I do! I love you!

Grian grimaced a little, sitting down on the top of the ladder, resting his head against the tree trunk. His chest felt tighter the moment he read that message. He had been over it. He was still over it. They were friends. And on Hermitcraft, this was what friendly interaction looked like.

<Grian> Love you too. But I gotta keep working now. The trees won’t cut themselves… at least not until Mumbo builds some redstone machine to do it.

<Grian> Also, Mumbo? If you read this, I’m kidding. Stop planning a tree cutting machine, it would ruin the way the Sahara yard looks like.

Mumbo only sent a frowny face into the group chat and immediately a round of friendly teasing started. Grian put the small device into his back pocket, returning to cutting the trees. So what if he was a bit rougher with the huge scissors than necessary? It meant nothing.

When he was finished he went back to his base building a bit on the pillars framing it, putting in his dwindling supply of white concrete. He really needed to use a different colour Palette one day. Maybe one that didn’t involve a block as grind-heavy as concrete. Maybe he should build a house out of wood once they went to the new part of the world. It had been a while since he had built something rustic. Taurtis would be shocked if he knew how modern all of Grian’s buildings looked.

Taurtis... Grian stopped what he was doing, looking at the sky in deep thought. He should really message Taurtis again. Talking to him always helped Grian figure out his emotions. Taurtis could make those doubts go away. He’d laugh and tell Grian he was being stupid and then Grian could move on and not feel so weird every time Ren declared his undying love for him in the chat. He just hoped Taurtis would really agree with him, that there was nothing going on. Because he didn’t know what he’d do ifTaurtis told him he had fallen for Ren.

He definitely hadn’t fallen for Ren. That was ridiculous. It would make far more sense to fall for Mumbo, who was his neighbour and with whom he shared so many projects. Or maybe fall in love with Taurtis, who had been his friend for years and who he planned to join again after this Season was over. Falling for Ren made no sense... And that was why he definitely hadn’t fallen. It all made sense. It was the only logical conclusion.

He didn’t love Ren as more than a friend. He never had and he never would.

Grian looked back at his communicator again. Back at another private message from Ren, asking him something and ending with another declaration of love.

<Grian> I know. Love you too.

<Ren> Forever and always?

Grian hesitated for a second. He was a bit too slow to stop his brain from wondering if there might be some intention behind Ren’s words. If he maybe was just as confused as Grian and tried to test the waters. Grian suppressed that voice as fast as it had spoken up.

<Grian> Sure! Forever and always! Love you so much!

Grian let out a frustrated noise, pressing a hand against his eyes. This was stupid. He should just outright ask Ren if he had feelings for him. When Ren said no it would be far easier to tell his brain to stop all of this. Maybe then his brain would stop imagining them kissing. Damn, now he had that image stuck in his head once more.

His bird made a worried sound and Grian let his hand drop again. "Don't worry. Everything's alright. He doesn't like me that way and I don't... I... What if I ask and he says he likes me? I don't even know what I'd do then. I don't love Ren", Grian whispered to the bird, while gently caressing the feathers on its belly.

"Love Ren", the bird repeated and Grian could feel heat rising to his face. This was so dumb. He was getting flustered by some bird repeating his own words. Maybe he just needed another huge project to stop himself from thinking about it.

Grian looked down from his house in Hermitville and grinned in excitement. He sat on the highest tower, able to look over all of Hermitville and beyond. He loved the crooked way he built it. He had been right to change up his block palette a little after the whole modern thing. His communicator beeped, and Grian tried. He really tried to resist it. But after another beep and a few more seconds he sighed, putting his shulker of wood away to have his hands free. Their shared chat hadn't been that busy today and most of the messages had just been someone asking for coordinates or some blocks.

And every time Grian had hoped there'd be a message for him alone... But they were all busy building in this new place, discovering all the new things this part of the world offered them. And he didn't drop any message either... He had thought about it. He had opened his private chat with Ren a few times in the last hours alone. He had stared at the 'I love you's from the past days, his fingers hovering over the keypad. He had never even entered one letter. He didn't really have any reason to write to Ren. And no matter how hard he thought about it, he couldn't think of a reason to start a conversation. Sure, Ren always told him he loved their conversations, and that Grian could always talk to him... But still. It felt weird.

Grian looked into the group chat and froze. Ren was finally in the chat. And why did he freeze up at that alone? This was so stupid. Grian took a breath and then read the message. It was the same as the rest, Ren was just asking for some blocks he needed and didn't want to go way back for.

<Grian> I got some. You can come over any time!

Grian's hand was shaking a little, as he was typing and he deleted the message again. He really shouldn't. He needed the materials for himself. He really did. But he had the urge to just give them to Ren, if it meant the other would come over and talk to him.

Ren must have seen him typing something though, because there was an immediate reply.

<Ren> Grian! My man! My love! You got something for me?

And finally Grian felt brave enough to reply.

<Grian> Of course! You can pick them up at my place. You know I'd do anything for you!

<Ren> Anything?

Grian hesitated, staring at the message and his mind went wild. Anything? Oh fuck. What direction was Ren going with this? Was this some innuendo? Him flirting? Could Ren be interested after all? Grian's heart was beating in his throat when he wrote back.

<Grian> Yes. Anything.

And then he waited. His heart was racing. He let himself fall back, lying on the rooftop and looking at the sky. He was getting nervous now. What if Ren had really meant something more with that. What if Ren was about to ask him on a date or something. Oh god he wasn't ready for that. He had told himself that he wouldn't... But when he had sent Ren that message, it had mostly been his heart speaking, not his brain and he had meant it. Whatever Ren would ask of him next, Grian would love to hand it to him on a silver platter. But his mind was screaming at him not to. Play it off as a joke if Ren really asked. And why was it taking Ren so long to reply? What did he need to write to that?

There was a beep, but Grian didn't move. He didn't feel ready, when just a second ago he had been so impatient.

Grian took a deep breath, calming his nerves. There was nothing to be nervous about. Nothing. He finally looked back down and opened the message.

<Ren> You know that is almost as good as an IOU note, right? You should be more careful with how you phrase things! But I already know what I want. Take a break. You’ve been building like crazy. You need to take care better of yourself Grian! Don’t overwork yourself! The competition you got going on is all fun and games until one of you guys faints. I love you, man, but I think you also need to love yourself more!

Grian’s heart stopped beating so fast and why did he suddenly feel disappointed? What had he wanted Ren to say? What had he expected? He let out a joyless laugh. He wanted to scream, wanted to cry. He wanted to throw the communicator off the rooftop and watch it crash on the ground below. And at the same time he wanted to be glad that this hadn’t went into a certain direction. Because if Ren had tried to flirt, Grian would have broken his heart... Because he wasn’t in love with Ren, right?

It took a few seconds to calm himself down again.

<Grian> I can’t promise that. It’s hard, you know? I get so lost in building I don’t even realise it’s already so late.

<Ren> Grian, please. For me?

<Grian> I promise that I’ll try. I can’t promise more than that. But I’ll try for you, alright? For me that is a lot!

<Ren> That’s perfect. I love you so very much! I wish you could love yourself just as much as I love you!

Grian did throw the communicator off the roof after that message. He didn’t know why he did that. He really didn’t. He had thought it would satisfy him, but as he watched the little device shatter on the ground, only to immediately respawn in his hands, he only felt hollow inside.

He really needed to speak with somebody about all of this. But who? Taurtis was busy at the moment. Then there was Mumbo or Iskall. But how much was Grian willing to share with them? Sure, they had become great friends in the comparably short time Grian had spent in this world... But they were also friends with Ren and that might make it weird.

And what if Ren also talked to them about it? What if they knew for a fact that Ren was or wasn’t interested. What if they told him what Grian had suspected all along? That Ren was 100 percent straight and wouldn’t be interested in Grian because of that.

And why the fuck did Grian think he’d be disappointed again?

“Grian! My dude! Down here!”

Grian jumped when he heard the voice and his heart seemed to jump along, almost leaving his body the way it raced. Right, the materials he had promised to Ren! He had almost forgotten about that.

He did his best to compose himself, getting up only to realise that his cheeks were still a little wet. Damn. He hurriedly wiped the remaining tears off with the sleeve of his jumper. He was really lucky that Ren had walked over here instead of coming by Eytra and maybe landing right next to him.

Grian smiled and waved down before jumping off the roof. He had planned to land next to Ren, but a sudden gust of wind changed his flight direction and he landed right in Ren’s outstretched arms. They looked at each other and Ren chuckled. Grian felt a blush rising to his cheeks at that sound, hurriedly taking a step back. But he couldn’t help the smile that came to his lips.

“I would have never thought that the day would ever come, when I needed to catch the server’s best flyer.”

Grian rolled his eyes, casting a fond glance towards Ren, before walking to his door. “You know you didn’t really have to catch me? I would have landed gracefully if you hadn’t stood there.”

“Well I like hugging you. So that was better than just stepping aside. You know, I love you.”

Grian faltered as he pressed the handle, almost falling forward with the door. Ren’s love declarations were nothing new. He read them daily, but hearing him say it was always even more jarring. And Grian felt so hesitant to return them then. In chat it was more casual, more meaningless. Speaking those actual words? It had been easier a while ago. When had that changed? When had he felt his throat close up at the thought of saying a little ‘I love you’ out loud?

“I know”, he just replied, voice quiet and he hoped Ren wouldn’t notice the little tremble in it. he felt stupid for it. He felt stupid for being unable to say those words when it had never been a problem. He had been able to say them to Ren. he was still able to say them to all the other Hermits. It was just a phrase. It didn’t have to be romantic. There were many forms of love after all…

Ren didn’t seem to notice his little hesitance as they entered the house. Grian tried to keep his hands busy, painfully aware of the others presence right behind him. Ren kept on talking, but Grian wasn't able to concentrate on the words, hearing that deep, rumbly voice, listening to those little chuckles, it drove him insane. He hurriedly got the materials out and put them into a shulker box.

"There you go", Grian finally said as he turned to Ren, doing his best, to push all of those unwelcome thoughts down. He managed until Ren smiled at him, eyes lighting up, almost sparkling in excitement and then there were arms around Grian. His face was pressed into Ren's chest and he could feel the heat radiating off of him. He gasped in surprise and instantly Ren's scent seemed to be all around him.

"Thank you so much! You don't know how much you're helping me! I sort of misplaced my Elytra and I really don't want to walk all the way back to my original base", Ren said and as he was speaking, he kept a tight hold on Grian, one of his hands almost gently caressing Grian's back. And Grian didn't know what to say or do. Did Ren even realise what he was doing to Grian? Did Ren know what was going on inside of him? Grian could feel the walls he had built in his mind crumbling. He felt weak in the embrace, as if his muscles didn't work anymore. Maybe this was okay. Maybe it was alright to let himself go. Maybe he finally found someone... Maybe this time he wasn't imagining things. Maybe this time he was actually loved.

His hands twitched. He wanted to return the hug. He really did. He raised his hands slowly.

"Dude, you are a true friend! One of the best friends someone could ask for.”

Grian felt the walls snap back into place, stronger even then before and he let his hands drop again. He felt like someone had emptied a bucket of ice cold water over him.

"No worries, Ren. I got your back. But I have to get back to Sahara. We got a meeting there soon." With those words Grian stepped back out of the embrace, smiling tightly at Ren. "I got no time for our chit chat today. Sorry."

Ren looked a bit disappointed, but then smiled at Grian and nodded, before giving him a little salute. "Thanks again for those blocks. I'll put them to good use. And I'll return the favour. Just tell me if you ever need anything, alright?"

Grian just nodded and watched Ren leave his little house. He still felt crowded. Even when he was alone. His body was suddenly set to auto pilot, as if he was moving on muscle memory alone. His legs took him to the portal and then he was flying through the tunnels. No time at all seemed to pass until he was back at his old base and then back to the aviary. And then his feet touched the ground... and he became undone. He fell to his knees, tears streaming down his face. All of his parrots were fluttering around him, roused from his sudden fall.

Grian should have known it all along. He had known it. And he had already decided that he didn't love Ren. Then why did it hurt so much? Why did his heart feel like someone was holding it in an iron grip? He didn't love Ren. He didn't. He never had. So what if Ren saw him as nothing more than a friend? That was alright, that was what he had hoped for. And still... He couldn't stop feeling like he had wished for a different ending. Maybe, just maybe his mind wasn't the one calling the shots after all. Maybe he had been lying to himself all alone, thinking he could decide not to be in love. He had been such a fool.

He was shaking, more tears rushing to his eyes and then he raised his head to the sky and screamed. He screamed until he was out of breath and then he just sat there, his head tilted backwards, looking at the ceiling, tears running over his cheeks.

He was in love.

He was in love and it was hopeless.

#🍉 stories #hermitship #hermitshipping #gren #angst #This will have a second part #It might take a while

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magnoliasinbloom · 6 years ago

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Lullaby

AO3 :: Previously

Chapter 15

The baby would be due in mid-August, give or take a couple of weeks, Dr. Raymond had said. Almost a month had passed since I’d found out it was a girl. I had spent most of that time dreaming of pastel colors and lavender baby outfits. Mum was in seventh heaven, already planning to redecorate my tiny room to accommodate the baby.

I was in school struggling to finish out the semester as best I could. The days dragged on endlessly, and I was falling asleep in every one of my classes. I desperately wanted to finish my senior year and enroll in nursing school.

I was getting heavy for my frame. May was unseasonably hot—unseasonable for Glasgow, anyway. Humid rain pattered down every other day, and the heat was making me miserable. I never thought I’d see the day when I would miss the cold rainy weather of a Glaswegian spring.

Jamie came by often, helping me out with applications and taking the edge off my mood swings and the weather. I didn’t think he did anything but spend time at my house, studying beside me, or helping out around the house. I asked him about that.

“Jamie, doesn’t Ellen miss you? You hardly seem to spend time at Lallybroch at all lately, except maybe breakfast. And Sunday nights.”

He shrugged and looked at his shoes. “Mam kens I like to be here.”

I tried to catch his eye again, but he wouldn’t look up. “Jamie—”

“It’s alright, Sassenach, really.” He gave me a crooked smile. “Right now, I want to spend time with my best friend, and my niece.”

I blushed, and dropped the subject.

~ ~ ~

I walked slowly to the Argyle Street metro station. I hoisted my backpack a little higher on my back to distribute the weight. I dragged myself slowly down the steps. One more month and I wouldn’t be allowed back at work, on maternity leave of sorts. I fanned myself with a sheaf of school handouts I carried; it wasn’t even that hot really, but in my very pregnant state, it felt scorching underground.

I plugged headphones into my mobile, starting up a playlist. I bopped my head along, trying to find a comfortable position on the hard plastic seat. The mobile rang, managing to cut through the volume, annoying in its insistency. It was an unknown number with a strange area code.

“Hello?”

“Claire.” I froze and my breath caught in my throat. Frank. There was silence on the other end as well, and then he tried again. “Claire, it’s me. Frank.”

Four months after he left, after I’d waited for his call, after I’d cried myself to sleep. All I could manage was a strangled, indeterminate noise while I gripped the hem of my shirt.

“Please, don’t hang up. I just… I called to see how you’ve been.” His voice sounded rushed, pleading. I wondered if that’s what I’d sounded like to him, when I’d asked for his support.

“Oh.” My tone was flat and emotionless. I crossed my arms, cradling the phone to my face. An icy wave flooded my stomach, half anger, half something else.

“Listen, I know it’s been awhile—”

“No, you listen,” I hissed. “You’re the one that left, like the coward you are, without a call, a text, nothing. I owe you nothing. So don’t just call and expect things to be fine between us, ‘cause they’re not.” My voice rose from a venomous whisper until I was practically shouting on the phone. People were trying not to stare, but utterly failing. I was beyond caring.

“I just thought… well, I don’t know what I thought. I wanted to call,” he said lamely.

“You know nothing, Frank Randall. You’re an ass.” My hands were shaking. There was no love here, it had disappeared. I felt stupid for ever thinking it had existed, at least on his part. Perhaps a fraction, the part that would inevitably be my daughter’s, would remain. A useless part, unnecessary.

Frank inhaled sharply. “What about the baby, Claire? Are you still pregnant?”

“Oh, please, like you give a bleeding fuck. You didn’t care then, you sure as shit don’t care now. Whatever lets you sleep at night, Frank. Pretend I miscarried, that I had an abortion, like you wanted.” I spoke through gritted teeth, realizing everyone in the car was listening. “You would have no claim on the child, ever.” I didn’t answer his question directly.

“But then—you mean…” he trailed off.

“I don’t need you, Frank. Don’t think about coming to see me. Forget it. Delete my number. Don’t you ever call me again, is that understood? Never.” I ended the call and hurled the mobile against the floor of the train. I hoped it broke. I wished it had been Frank’s face.

I rested my head in my hands. My breathing was heavy and forced. I had to calm down, calm down for the baby. I didn’t feel like crying; I was past that. At length, an elderly gentleman picked up my mobile from the floor. He held it out to me with a soft, “Here, lass.” The screen hadn’t even cracked. I thanked him and pocketed the phone. All I wanted to do was talk to Jamie.

~ ~ ~

“Okay, so this was a tad upsetting.” I sat cross-legged on the living room sofa—or as cross-legged as my belly would allow. I caressed it gently, ready to relive the conversation with Frank for Jamie.

“Ye’re scaring me, Sassenach. What is it?” Jamie sat next to me, peering into my face.

“Alright. Well. Um. I took the tube home, right, and then my mobile rang. It was… Frank.” I was talking mostly to my stomach, unable to look him in the eyes.

I didn’t register Jamie’s reaction for a moment. Then I noticed his hands clenched into tight fists, and he jumped from his seat.

“Jamie, please.” I tried to hold his hand, but he paced away from me, his back turned.

“What did he want? What could he possibly have to say to ye after all this time?” He ran his hands through his hair, his jaw tense. When Jamie finally looked back at me, he found me with my arm reaching out to him, trying to calm him down.

“I’m sorry.” Jamie immediately sat back down. I put my hand on his broad shoulder, squeezing it gently. “I dinna even ken why I’m so angry, when it’s you that’s probably pissed off right now.” He attempted a weak smile.

“I’m not really anything at him. I was,” I amended, seeing the expression on his face. “But anger is an emotion, and I don’t feel anything for him, not anymore.” It was true; I felt only a faint measure of regret for what could have been. But I didn’t think Jamie believed me.

“I have half a mind to get on a plane tonight and beat the shite out of him, I swear. I could kill him, I really could.” Jamie ran his hands through his hair again, rumpling it completely. It stood out in wild red licks that rivaled my own untamed curls.

“Don’t, Jamie.” I smoothed his hair for him, and he stilled at my touch.

“Don’t what?”

“He’s not worth it,” I said softly. “I appreciate the sentiment, I do. But there’s no point. What’s done is done; he doesn’t deserve a single thought from me or you.” I struggled to rise from the couch, and Jamie caught my arm and helped me up. I huffed, embarrassed, but he only smiled.

“Come on. Stay for dinner.” As we walked towards the kitchen, Jamie wrapped his arm around my non-existent waist. An old book quote popped into my mind:

Those who really love, love in silence, with deeds and not in words.

#outlander #outlander fanfic #outlander au #jamie and claire #lullaby 15 #quote: Carlos Ruiz Zafon

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seeaddywrite · 6 years ago

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stars, hide your fires

this fic has been started approximately four different times, & no matter how much i cut or rearrange, it still ends up as a multi-chapter, so i’m giving up the fight & doing it. it’s been a challenge, but one i’m enjoying. currently, i’m guessing this will end up at about ten chapters, depending on how it goes. my goal is to update twice a week -- feel free to keep me accountable. :)

based on this prompt from @roswellprompts: “post-finale. malex eventually, preferably. alex goes undercover with his brothers to learn about the weapon they're developing and pretends he's on their side. everyone suspects he's truly gone dark. even alex can't tell the difference sometimes.”

thanks to @soberqueerinthewild for letting me rant about this fic, reading over it, & for basically being the best. also, thanks to @ubiestcaelum for Hunter’s name & being generally awesome.

“Manes, come on,” Valenti whines from behind Alex, sounding more like a disappointed teenager than the fully grown, mature man he’s supposedly become. “Liz is cooking at Evans’ tonight, and neither of us get enough home cooking to miss it.”

The feel of displaced air on the back of his neck as Kyle steps up behind him makes Alex tense a little -- it’s hard to relax with people out of his line of sight, even when it’s someone he trusts. Old habits die hard, and Alex has plenty of reason to remain vigilant. But since Kyle Valenti has somehow stepped back into his life and decided to fill the position of ‘best friend’ that he’d vacated back in high school, Alex doesn’t react, and only rolls his eyes at the whining.

“You’re only this desperate to go because you know Liz is bringing Arturo’s enchiladas,” Alex teases him, knowing full well that no one would be this excited over Liz’s cooking. The woman is a genius with lab equipment, but she lacks when it comes to measuring cups and kitchen timers. He’s learned that the hard way over the many dinner get-togethers their little circle has held in the last several months. It’s a habit Liz started when Rosa was first brought back, and she, Michael, and Isobel were still grieving Max, and it’s continued even now that Rosa has fully reintegrated to Roswell living and they’ve successfully managed to bring Max back from the dead.

Alex won’t admit it aloud, but those dinners have quickly become his favorite part of the week. Having Liz and Rosa around so often is a balm to the loneliness he’s been battling for months, and when Maria joins them -- still, unfortunately, in the dark about the alien truths -- Alex can almost pretend everything is back to normal. And on top of that, he’s found that he actually likes Max and Isobel Evans, despite rocky beginnings. In some tangential way, they’re family; no matter what his relationship status with Michael, that will always be true.

And then, of course, there’s the fact that those dinners are the one time that he’s guaranteed to see Guerin smile. They’ve passed the awkward exes phase, and now that the relationship with Maria has died a natural death, Alex doesn’t even feel guilty when their eyes meet and he feels that old, familiar chemistry flare between them. It’s a slow, delicious burn, and he’s looking forward to the resolution.

“Obviously,” Valenti agrees with an unconcerned shrug, drawing Alex back into their banter and away from distracting thoughts of Guerin. “But if you tell Liz I said that, I’m telling her that you fed the last meal she left for you to the beagle after she left.” He shoves playfully at Alex’s shoulder, and takes the return swat in stride before returning to his attempts at persuasion.“But, seriously, we’ve been through those files a thousand times already. You’re not going to find anything we haven’t already seen, so I think whatever this is can wait until tomorrow so we can go get some decent food for once. Don’t you?”

It probably could wait until tomorrow. There’s no reason for Alex to believe the incongruous firewall he’d just run into in some of Project Shepherd’s newest files is hiding anything more than the usual information on alien torture disguised as science -- but something in his gut is telling him that he needs to dig deeper, to find out what lies behind the wall of code that had been cleverly hidden in plain sight. And if Alex learned anything during his time on active duty, it’s that he should always trust his gut.

“You go ahead,” he tells Kyle, most of his attention still directed at the complicated coding sequences he’s creating with sharp, precise movements of his fingers over the keyboard. “Tell everyone I’ll see them soon, but there’s something here, and I --” Alex blinks in surprise, cutting himself off. “-- wow. It’s like they’re not even trying to keep me out.”

Like most of Jesse Manes’ sad attempts at cyber security, the firewall keeping Alex from the information he wants buckles under the weight of less than five minutes of Alex’s direct attention. He’s not even surprised, anymore -- his father has always been more of a bruiser than a thinker, and coding takes a certain kind of creativity, an ability to create. A man who only knows how to destroy could never possess that skill.

Both men go silent and still as images begin to pop up on the screens, and Alex swallows convulsively to quell sudden nausea. Surveillance footage from Roswell -- all from the last six months. Somehow, Project Shepherd has remained up and running despite Alex’s father’s sudden disappearance from the scene, and whoever’s behind it has been watching both Evans’ houses, Michael’s trailer, and the Crashdown, from the looks of things.

Panic begins to swell in the back of Alex’s mind as he remembers all of the things that have happened in those locations -- all of the suddenly not-dead people who have walked through those entryways, all of the alien powers that are showcased so cavalierly in the sanctity of their own homes. Michael’s got his bunker beneath the Airstream, for crying out loud! So many secrets. So many possibilities for discovery. And if Project Shepherd knows the truth, it’s only a matter of time before Michael and his siblings are dragged off to another off-books facility to suffer the same fate as the people they’d watched die at Caulfield.

Fuck.

If the surveillance was the worst of it, Alex could have dealt with it. Deleting the photos and video is the work of a moment, and he knows that his brothers -- who have to be heading things up in Jesse’s absence -- don’t have the skills to protect anything online from him. It’s a pain, and he’ll have to keep checking to be certain that new cameras haven’t been positioned, but overall, the situation would be manageable. He could control the intel received, could make sure there was never enough solid evidence to move against Michael or the twins.

But Alex has no power over the half-drawn schematics of the weapon he’s staring at now.

At least, that’s what he thinks he’s looking at -- he’s no engineer, and the scribbles on the scanned paper may as well be written in Mandarin, for all Alex knows. But the info dump says it’s alien tech of some sort, geared toward taking out their own kind -- and Alex knows, immediately, that he cannot risk his brothers or any military personnel gaining access to it. Not when Alex’s world still at least half-revolves around Michael Guerin, despite their newly minted status as friends. Not when Max and Isobel have somehow become part of his family, too, through his determination to keep Michael in his life and help bring Max back from the dead. Not when Liz and Rosa and Kyle could lose everything, if all of this were brought to light by the wrong people.

“What do we do with this?” Kyle asks finally, breaking the tense silence in the bunker. It’s been at least twenty minutes of staring, horror-struck at the screen, and Alex is no closer to an answer than he was when they started. “We have to warn them. There’s no way whoever’s running the show --”

“Flint,” Alex interrupts, his voice hard. “It has to be Flint. And probably the others, too. Dad always drags Charlie along with him on whatever he’s doing, and Hunter’s never too far behind.” Alex’s comment to Flint about mindlessly following the flock is accurate for all of his brothers. With the occasional exception of Charlie, who Alex knows tried to be a better brother to him for a while, they’re all soldiers, highly decorated and respected in their fields -- but none of them have ever been willing to go against their father.

Kyle’s lips thin, but he nods agreement. “Fine. There’s no way Flint knows about all this and isn’t planning a move, Alex. We’ve gotta get them all out of town. And probably ourselves, too. If they manage to develop this weapon --”

“We’re not running,” Alex snaps, punching the power control on the monitors so that the screens go dark. He spins his chair to look at Valenti, and knows that the expression on his face is far from reassuring -- he’s simultaneously panicking and furious, and he can’t contain it all within himself without just a little spilling over into his features.

Because slowly, an idea is forming in the back of his head. No one is going to like it -- God knows Alex doesn’t, but it’s the only way out of this fucking mess that Alex can see, and he’s desperate enough to protect Guerin and the others that he’s willing to take the risk.

“Alex, I don’t think we have a choice,” Valenti tells him firmly, and Alex’s eyes aren’t the ones that are wide and full to the brim with a frantic need to move, to do something. He starts to pace around Alex’s chair as he speaks, picking up speed with every word and step until it’s hard for Alex to understand. “Even if I was okay with the idea of your dickhead family marching in and kidnapping Evans and the others, I’m the one who put your dad in that coma. How long do you think it’ll take them to connect those dots? They’ll find him. They’ll wake him up, and it won’t just be the aliens they’re after anymore.”

There’s a moment of tense silence as Alex levers himself out of the computer chair and takes a few steps, working the stiffness from sitting too long out of his bad leg. “We’re not running,” he repeats, and this time, his voice is full of purpose. “I have an idea. It’s -- awful, but it’s the only way we’re going to be able to live out our lives without constantly looking over our shoulders.” Alex straightens his spine and stands at his full height, regarding Kyle solemnly and making it as clear as he can that he’s not going to hear any arguments.

“I’m going to infiltrate Project Shepherd, and we’re going to bring them down.”

#stars hide your fires #my fic #malex fic [at least it will be]#multi-chap #slow burn #ensemble fic

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years ago

Text

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: [Enough lowkey happened on that camping trip that this can be near the start of the holidays, like we already been knew but we're pretending still at this point that none of this is real okay lads, obviously they at the stage of pretending to be more life and soul than they actually are 'cos all the fakery so when she's in a mood and gone off it's more noticeable, you feel?] Jimmy: [that's a whole fat mood even if he doesn't actually find her with Harry he'd still be like UM hello] Janis: [I don't think she shoulda 100% come out with the intention of doing this but when she wanna (cos Jimmy, obvs, we know Harry is not that hot or charming really lol) can't it's like well this isn't real so I can't ask him so I wanna be with someone who I can for real, like it could be anyone but he's the obvious choice...apart from that, I think we can go] Jimmy: [100% agree it's not like a calculated bitch move and we know how messy they get at parties so] Jimmy: Alright? Janis: Yep Janis: fresh air Jimmy: 🚬? Janis: 🚽 Jimmy: Oi you're not 🤢 are you? Janis: Fuck off Janis: 'course I ain't Janis: only room with a lock Jimmy: what's up then? Janis: that song was so offensively shit Janis: can't hear myself think Jimmy: come outside Janis: why? Jimmy: I'll pick you a 🌹 obvs Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: a valid one Janis: if I've gotta act 😍 over that, how big the crowd I'm walking into is, etc Jimmy: it's quieter out here, dickhead Janis: idk, could run a bath and go under Jimmy: 💀💀💀 pact's for two Jimmy: can we both fit? Janis: the bath is suitably impressive Janis: no marble though so I'm disgusted, obvs Jimmy: won't somebody think of the blood splatter? 😒 Jimmy: let me in then Janis: What kind of proposition is that? Janis: Give me five minutes Jimmy: so high maintenance, you Janis: If you wanna be known as the kind of boyfriend who has to watch their girlfriend take a piss, be my guest Jimmy: who are you talking about my kinks to, girl? Jimmy: bit rude Janis: no need Janis: all 👀s on us at all times Jimmy: yeah and I look like a right dickhead Jimmy: hurry up, Janet Janis: go 🚬 Janis: I'll be there in a few Jimmy: love when you tell me what to do Jimmy: 😍😍🤤 Janis: I'll add it to the kink list to 📢 Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [when it's so awkward like hope there ain't an audience bye] Jimmy: [lights her a 🚬 cos standard but is looking at her like ??] Janis: [taking it and just smoking for a bit 'some nights, this is just more inconvenient than others, yeah?'] Jimmy: ['Nah, it's inconvenient every night, mate' shrugs but is clearly like what the fuck do you mean] Janis: [🙄 'obviously but-' shrugs but in a idk how to word this now kinda way '9/10 when we ain't putting on a show we can still do what we want, yeah?'] Jimmy: [nudges her like go on and taking a big drag while he works out what that means and then takes a hot sec to answer we all know why 'depends'] Janis: ['yeah, it's the depends, ain't it' nods like we're on the same page now 'the shit you wanna do but technically can't 'cos it jeopardizes the whole performance, even when you ain't'] Jimmy: [just looking at her like what even though he knows cos gonna make you say it always #thatbitch] Janis: [just the longest smoke break lmao 'like if we actually wanted to hook up with someone at this party, we can't'] Jimmy: Bathroom door's got a lock on it Jimmy: you said Janis: Obviously Janis: as if there's any chance of 'cheating' without every cunt seeing Janis: they seem thick but they're well up on all this gossip bullshit Jimmy: not with that 🥉 attitude Jimmy: 💕 conquers all, Jules, ain't you heard Janis: Now I'm an amatuer, yeah? Jimmy: do you need me to say it again using the 📢? Janis: how many lasses you had in there tonight then Jimmy: As many as I want Jimmy: [walks away rudely] Janis: alright Janis: message received Jimmy: is it? Janis: Nothing cryptic about it, really Jimmy: we don't need coded 🗨 Jimmy: save that for whoever's meeting you in the bathroom Janis: I doubt I'd be meeting anyone if I had to go to that length of espionage Jimmy: Oi 💀👑 would go to the ends of the earth for you, my dear Janis: 💀👑 can also manage a game of chess, so I hear Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: as romantic nights in go, you could do worse Janis: Romance would not be in his vocabulary, if he knew he had one Janis: thank fuck Jimmy: 💔 or 👍 Jimmy: Delete whichever one Janis: Doing someone else to make you jealous is a cliche too far, I reckon Jimmy: good job that ain't why then Jimmy: you can crack on Janis: Bill would be well let down Jimmy: I ain't got a balcony for him to haunt, it's alright Janis: 🤞 the lack of marble don't vex him then Jimmy: wouldn't be my first 👻🥊 if he really wants to get a mard on Janis: 👍 in a bit Jimmy: 👌 Janis: [later but not like hours obvs] Janis: you still about? Jimmy: weren't gonna just do one without telling you Jimmy: what kind of fake boyfriend Jimmy: [in my head he's having a drink with some art hoe from his class cos saying they're chatting would be a stretch lol] Janis: 💕 Janis: [obvs like oh but recovery of coming over and having a swig of his drink like bonjour] Jimmy: [gives it to her so he has the excuse of going to get another one cos doesn't wanna talk to either of them rn] Janis: [oh the small talk you are not making, this girl, soz hun] Jimmy: [when you just in the kitchen like this takes longer than it does/you can't poss push through the peeps to get back] Janis: what's her story then Janis: why is she so 😪 Jimmy: Who is she? Janis: Got enough to 📢 about you Jimmy: and what? Janis: so stalker or you should at least be able to pull a name out your arse, like Jimmy: Why? I don't remember yours and you're my missus Janis: Hmm 😏 endearing quirk or a sign of early-onset dementia Jimmy: weren't that early 👴 me Janis: True Janis: be back in 🚼 'fore long Jimmy: if you've forgotten how old I am, might wanna get your own 🧠 checked, mate Jimmy: and yeah, your kinks are blatant, calm down Janis: I've been around enough actual babies to know I don't wanna pretend to look after one in my me time Jimmy: I ain't around you in your personal time Jimmy: let you off the 🕛 Janis: no one wants to fake hear about my adult baby kink, dickhead Jimmy: Dunno where I put my 📢 Jimmy: 💔 Janis: are you lost Janis: you've been ages Jimmy: now you miss me Janis: She wasn't much company Jimmy: I don't need to tell you, she ain't the only dickhead here Jimmy: or to crack on Janis: We'll have to be seen in the same room at some point Janis: or I'll just go home, like Jimmy: Off you go then Janis: yeah, 'cos I can just go Janis: you know how this works Jimmy: You ain't been caught out yet Jimmy: maybe the fans weren't as bothered as we reckoned Janis: 'cos I'm not an idiot Janis: which is what we'll both look if we have a weird domestic now Jimmy: you can leave that right out Jimmy: it's how I've looked for ages Janis: You said I could Jimmy: Piss off Janis: You did, you pretty much challenged me to do it Jimmy: Take the out Jimmy: I don't fucking need you here now Janis: Don't be stupid Janis: if I wanted an out, I'd do it Janis: that was the whole point of talking to you Janis: if you had a problem with it tonight you should've said so Jimmy: If you wanna go home, go home Janis: No, 'cos you want me to go home, I'm not going to Janis: and if you want an out, you'll have to fucking say that too Jimmy: I don't care, Janis Jimmy: Alright? Janis: Yeah, fine by me Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [storms through this party to go smoke again because that's the mood he's in] Janis: [when you'll have to go break something somewhere 'cos it is not okay, thank God we don't care about whoever's house this is] Jimmy: [honestly there better not be anyone annoying outside cos he will smack you lads] Janis: [seriously I'm like flat whites don't be there we can't be having the levels of violent rn 'cos can't deal with emotions] Jimmy: [likewise thank god he ain't going home to Ian rn cos that'd be a brawl and a half nobody needs] Janis: [oh you two] Jimmy: [he is not drunk enough for this lol] Janis: [when you're so frustrated that was a blatant flop and now you can't leave but can't stay, fun poll] Janis: *lol rude Jimmy: [you had one job Harry ffs] Janis: [must assume he's left 'cos highkey and you'd have to sleep with him and not happening boy] Jimmy: [what do you think she did do before she was like ABORT MISSION] Janis: [it probably got to the usual point and it's like hmm still nothing so maybe she gave him head 'cos frustration honey but then was like good day] Jimmy: [I don't feel sorry for you sir but I do feel sorry for Jimothy because he'd be doing drinking games rn throwforward to their other domestic at that party remember cos only time he ever joins in with that kinda nonsense] Janis: [they're always so grim and you are gonna get so drunk boy, I truly dunno where you're gonna be, casually barricaded in some room you're trashing, like] Jimmy: [imagine some time has passed so he's drunker] Jimmy: Oi Janis: what Jimmy: you in the 🚽 again or what? Janis: no, I'm not Janis: all yours, mate Jimmy: Tah Jimmy: [sends her some flirty shit he's been sent meaning like I gotta hide but it comes across now like I'm gonna hit that #miscommunication ftw] Janis: There's that out you wanted Janis: good for you Jimmy: What? Janis: Don't what me like an idiot Jimmy: Don't be a twat like a twat Janis: Good one Janis: We'll pretend it'd be more scathing if you weren't pissed Janis: I said good for you, what more could I do to not be a twat? Jimmy: How about you pretend to have a word, you've only got the one job, rich girl Janis: What are you talking about? Jimmy: What did I just say? Janis: Why would I fake jealous of a girl you're gonna go fuck Jimmy: Why would you do owt to help me out? Fuck knows, tonight's obvs not the night for that Janis: You're making no sense right now Janis: and like fuck, this whole thing is about helping you out Jimmy: you Janis: me what Jimmy: You're making no sense Janis: This is stupid Janis: we ain't talking in circles Janis: you've got somewhere to be Jimmy: No I don't Janis: well, I'm not the one you need to let down gently then Jimmy: just Janis: I've already given her dirty looks Janis: ['cos you can't be in that room forever, like] Jimmy: [be extra like it's all for that girl's benefit okay boy] Janis: [when you're gonna respond like for like 'cos casual state you are in lawd] Jimmy: [have a MOMENT because god knows you're not gonna talk about any of this so obvs such a good idea to take your mood out this way instead of course] Janis: ['scuse the SHOW everyone but they can't get a room or the pretense is gone so] Jimmy: [also you all love it so] Janis: [ya perverts, lowkey start a softcore pornsite with all the footage y'all take] Jimmy: [honestly] Janis: [I get it, they're hot and this is low-key exhibitionism at this point 'cos frustrations] Jimmy: [when he's saying he missed her in between this intense sesh but is he saying it for the unnamed girl and the rest of the audience or because he actually wants to and has drunk enough 🤔] Jimmy: [because not saying it in a really extra fake way just genuinely like 'I missed you' bye] Janis: [excuse you, when neither she nor I is drunk enough to deal with that in a sensible manner] Jimmy: [it's fine we know they're not sensible rn or lowkey ever] Janis: [just gonna be saying his name like a reply, can't pretend you don't know his, babe] Jimmy: [nobody can pretend they don't know how into it he is, look away please art hoe gal] Janis: [there's some things you can't fake lads we know it] Jimmy: [especially when you're basically going as hard as you did on the school trip when you wanted Grace and Co to leave that room] Janis: [remember when, Grace does #triggered] Jimmy: [thank god we said she's not there cos this would be worse than that cos Janis is frustrated/angry af and he's angry/jealous af like imagine] Janis: [someone be shameless enough to stop them please 'cos we can't] Jimmy: [I know we've done the police before but have we done someone's parents rocking up? cos how shaming for this party thrower 🤞 it's not my boy Dan] Janis: [I don't think Dan is cool enough to throw a party at all, god bless and goodnight but yes a good idea, we shall do it] Jimmy: [when you have to go from 100000-0 cos nobody's gonna hear the parents key in the door over all that music and chaos so they just there like] Janis: [just running like lowkey what is happening but gotta go] Jimmy: [handholding for Winnie! at least until this boy has to stop cos can't run as fast or far as her] Janis: [don't vom that wouldn't be cute] Jimmy: [catch your breath and you'll be fine my beloved soft sir] Janis: [patting down his pockets like she's looking for an inhaler but obviously is looking for and gets out his pack of cigarettes like there you go, that'll sort you out 😏] Jimmy: [when he's gotta be so 😏 like steady on girl cos he's actually so 😳 and not just from running clearly, thank god for that 🚬 which we can all pretend suddenly needs the most intense concentration on earth like] Janis: [pushes him like shut up but is also 😳 so carrying on walking ahead so you can hide that and take a moment] Jimmy: [not even trying to catch up cos you also need a minute] Janis: are you going home? Jimmy: Are you? Janis: nah Janis: not when I can help it Jimmy: [shrugs like that's the most casual thing he's ever heard but looking at her like where are you going] Janis: [looking back and shrugging, continuing to walk on like let's see where I end up] Jimmy: [checking his phone to see if there are any other parties cos easter hols so obvs and showing her the options like do you fancy any of these] Janis: [a look like 'you wanna do more faking?' like you don't know oh girl and picking the party that's the closest to where they are right now] Jimmy: [gives her a look like I'll take free drinks over going home cos yeah that's the only reason okay] Janis: [nods like I hear that] Jimmy: [playfully nudges her like so come on] Janis: ['alright, alright' and walking needlessly fast 'cos minimal time alone is required] Jimmy: [when you automatically go to pull her back and then stop yourself cos no] Janis: [whether you notice that or nah, clearly pretending otherwise] Jimmy: [smoking and walking even if you have to light another one immediately idk how far this is and neither does he cos never knows where he is lol] Janis: [looking like 'aren't you gonna give me one?'] Jimmy: [looks back like not if you're 6 miles ahead of me but obvs does give her his and then lights a new one] Janis: [slowing down to take it but still keeping a pace ahead] Jimmy: [and he's just on his phone texting back and forth with Cass cos she's not asleep but should be but obvs he could be doing anything cos Janis don't know his life yet] Janis: [shamelessly like oh, take this time to think about your life and choices, babe] Jimmy: [let us take a moment to appreciate the state of them though like all the skin she's got on show and what he would've done to it, enjoy that in a sec Mia you nosy bitch] Janis: [gonna make her night truly, also he's probably feeling even more pissed 'cos cold air has hit him, like] Jimmy: [yeah that's always fun, thank god he didn't have time to get properly wasted cos Janis has enough catching up to do] Janis: [when you're low-key not even tipsy at this point 'cos the dramaaa] Jimmy: [Oh Jimothy you're clearly not serving as much of a look and you're too drunk, I'm disappointed in you] Janis: [we all know he looks good all the time it's rude] Jimmy: [get in this party and get her a drink boy but handholding cos coupleyness activated the second you're in] Jimmy: [I think he should share her drink because cute but also you don't need more rn and you know it but also he should put a song on he's worked out she likes so they can dance because remember when he thought a shit song started this lol] Janis: [make an entrance you two god bless so mad your mood about to get ruined lol] Jimmy: [omg can we say Harry is talking to Mia but bins her off for Janis when we need that to happen because funny and even funnier when they end up dating later] Janis: [ahh the levels of hate just going up every second, obvs needs to happen] Jimmy: [have your OTT dance moment first though like cos Mia cannot compete there even if she wanted to] Janis: [can't risk a collapse like] Jimmy: [literally how is she alive] Janis: [when he's probs shamelessly watching this but you don't notice 'cos 'course you don't] Jimmy: [he'd be so mad that this isn't a moment like soz jj are too busy having one] Janis: ['cos you think she's literally followed you here like oh God, hence she's gonna freak when she does actually see you're here like gotta go, maybe hit a bathroom again but drag Jimmy with you] Jimmy: [boy you wish she'd follow you anywhere bye] Jimmy: [meanwhile Jimmy just sitting in a bathtub like ?] Janis: [washing me and my clothes bitch, but seriously, just breathing so shallow like full freak out] Jimmy: [can't not notice so literally but very gently pulling her into the tub with him like sit down] Janis: [reluctantly getting in 'cos you're not ready to walk back through to get out even so may as well, leaning back and sighing like well] Jimmy: [taking off her jacket for her not in a saucy way cos that actually might help her feel better you think] Janis: [just rubbing at your now bare arms and straightening up your posture literally pulling yourself together like] Jimmy: [just giving her time cos not that dickhead who's gonna be like WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU TELL ME RN] Janis: ['I fucked up'] Jimmy: [looking at her like elaborate please, but in your own time cos still not that dickhead] Janis: [a look like I truly do not want to do that please lol 'there's someone here I don't wanna see, like more than all the other people I don't wanna see, like'] Jimmy: [nodding like okay that's all I need to hear, getting up like let's go as if they haven't just got there and peeps won't be like ?? or anything because he's not thinking about the fake just the real of what she just said even though it hasn't clicked with him that this could be anything to do with earlier because why would she not wanna see that person as far as he's concerned and putting a hand out to help her up and out too which he so doesn't need to do we see you boy] Janis: [is shaking her head like no wait then makes a 😒 face at herself 'cos does not wanna be this contrary bitch or this bitch freaking out ever but like, it's happened now so- 'we shouldn't go, I already fucked up earlier, we should make the most of that lot being here' 'cos obviously Mia also made herself #seen 'cos when doesn't she lol] Jimmy: [when you touch her 😒 face unthinkingly and softly which shakes you to your core because get control of yourself boy so you make a big show of checking yourself in the mirror for an age like okay I'm ready] Janis: [when you fuck up his hair 'cos a. just that bitch and b. you're meant to be getting it on in here so don't be looking all put together 'amateur' but with feeling] Jimmy: [returning the favour because 1. oi and 2. her hair would be a MESS if you had and everyone knows that and tying her jacket around his waist so he can carry it for her without having to and it's like that thing when boys wear girls scrunchies on their wrists and girls lose their minds] Janis: [raises a brow like what are you doing at first but then nods like touche, as much as you've just said you should make a show for the flat whites, when Mia is talking to Harry again you gotta be like, let's get another drink first ty, hopefully some of the others are in the kitchen] Jimmy: [when you're about to question it by typing cos would never out loud obvs cos you can clearly see 💀👑 but yeah then there are others in the kitchen so you go with that] Janis: [#dutchcourage, least you can be cute/in everyone's way by getting on the counter and just casually wrapping your long ass legs 'round him to 😍] Jimmy: [just gently kissing all those lovebites you made at party 1 making a big show of how sorry you are for each one like thanks for all the bare skin I can use to put on a show yet again bitch] Janis: [truly out here in a bra lmao the confidence] Jimmy: [we're all jealous as hell that she can and looks amazing doing it, especially the flat whites] Janis: [Asia like he wanted me first though lol] Jimmy: [oh girl you wish] Jimmy: [we should have him come into the kitchen to get drinks for him and Mia which she can't be fuming about even though we all know his real motives] Janis: [ugh the level of smug, knowing looks that just make her wanna die, leaning into Jimmy's ear and cupping her hand like she's whispering something saucy to him but is literally just hiding like go away] Jimmy: [when he whispers back but uses the opportunity to ask her if she's alright because not an idiot] Janis: [nods 'I just missed you too' when you say it loud enough it could be for the benefit of the audience but is it or nah, we'll never know] Jimmy: [when now isn't the time or place to push her on what's actually wrong so you just go harder instead which equally begs the question are you trying to distract her/make her feel better or is it for the audience] Janis: [just do the most 'til he says something or goes away kids, speaking of, kinda torn between him not saying anything because he thinks it'll happen again ('cos like it has been repeats thus far so fair) so he's just kinda like smug but not gonna outright be saying something dead obvious to Jimothy to start shit...or getting him that drunk that he does, 'cos we could do it when they're outside smoking or something so the whole party don't actually hear for once? idk] Jimmy: [I like that idea like he doesn't say anything here and now so she's like thank fuck I might have actually gotten away with this but then later when he's drunk he could be like about to go and wants her to go with him or whatever] Jimmy: [I also like the possibility that he could say something to Mia at any point #mildperil] Janis: [that's a good idea, bide your time, dickhead] Janis: [also we know she's snekky so instead of being like um why do you keep looking at her and being salty she can probably get something out of him, she's smart and he ain't really so] Jimmy: [yeah that's what I thought and she'd love knowing that Janis 'cheated' this early on for JJ so] Janis: [exactly, hence she can nudge Harry into making that post after the basketball match drama] Jimmy: [OMG yeah I never even thought of that] Janis: [masterminding] Jimmy: [ironically Harry getting with Mia cos she doesn't play games which he thinks Janis is rn] Janis: [lmao good luck with that you already being played now and you got no clue] Jimmy: [I almost feel sorry for him but he didn't need to post those nudes so I don't] Janis: [mhmm honey] Jimmy: [live your best life at this party til later though JJ my babes] Janis: [hells yeah] Jimmy: [it hurts my heart cos they'd both relax thinking shit's okay now and be actually having a good time, fuck you Harold] Janis: [he probably thinks whomever it was has gone, like] Jimmy: [yeah exactly and like not gonna think about it too hard cos her mood has clearly changed and that's the important thing] Janis: [is there anything we wanna do specifically or, how we doing this?] Jimmy: [I think we can probably just skip to when Harry fucks things up because we know the vibe but yeah how do we wanna do that like maybe we can just plot out how it would have gone and see from there cos like she might run away or Jimmy might smack him we don't know lol] Jimmy: [like what do you think he should say/do?] Janis: [Hmm, like you said maybe he comes over and is like okay come back with me though, like enough 'games' now and is ignoring Jimmy so obvs he's like excuse you piss off then when Janis is also like fuck off no so then he's salty and says something when he's walking away like 'tell me how my dick tastes' 'cos he would] Jimmy: [well that's lovely thank you Harry, you're so getting smacked now boy cos his ex was a hoe and he doesn't need to be triggered like that] Janis: [when the worst you were expecting happened and a hoe gotta go] Jimmy: [clearly should try and follow her because how's that gonna look if she leaves without him but doesn't because literally doesn't care about any of that in the moment obvs] Janis: [we're not keeping up the act rn, hopefully there were minimal people about and we can just call Harry a liar later like he's not a trustworthy bitch peeps be known] Jimmy: [yeah I doubt there were many people outside and they'd all be drunk af whoever were and like you said he's not coming through with proof but I hope Janis ain't going to mcvickers gaff cos if Jimothy is going home they'd have to go the same way lol] Janis: [lol imagine, I'll make her run off in a different direction don't worry] Jimmy: [poor bitch she doesn't need the awkward walk of shame] Janis: [she know some places, go work out that aggression again, not that you can but you know] Jimmy: [mhmmm god only knows what Jimothy is gonna do when he gets home cos you can't just casually go to sleep like this is fine] Janis: [I'm like what are you gonna do, what are you gonna say, oh girl] Jimmy: [and how long are you gonna leave it to have the convo too like] Janis: [right, when you wanna do it now to say it, but then you're like, he's not gonna wanna and you're scared too but you don't wanna leave it too long, gay] Janis: [gaaaaaaaaaay 🙄 GAH grammarly GAH ] Jimmy: [he's gonna have to act like he's so not bothered cos it's such early days I'm gonna die] Janis: [okay, I'm gonna say next morning, torture yourself, and inadvertently him, all night] Jimmy: [yassss] Janis: Hey Jimmy: Morning Janis: You alright? Janis: sorry about that idiot last night Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: If you're gonna apologise for every dickhead from last night, do it in a bit, I'm short on time Janis: I won't take on accountability for every cunt, like Janis: just that one Jimmy: Alright Janis: Yeah Janis: you at work? Jimmy: Nah Janis: Oh, alright Janis: well, my bad then Jimmy: I'm in later if you wanna erase your guilt using the tip jar Jimmy: might have another fight in me if it's for 💰💰💰 Janis: Come on Jimmy: what? Janis: Don't take the piss, like Janis: I'm trying to say sorry properly Janis: it was fucking embarrassing Jimmy: he's 💔 give it him Janis: He's an idiot Jimmy: who here ain't? Jimmy: yet to meet 'em, me Janis: Best of luck on that score Jimmy: Tah Janis: I appreciate you punching him regardless Jimmy: it weren't for you Janis: Obviously Janis: still Janis: and he chats shit all the time so, no one will care to remember if they heard anything Jimmy: 👌 Janis: Hopefully they're all too hungover to show their faces in CG today 🤞 Jimmy: 💀👑 don't get hangovers Jimmy: she'd have to swallow Janis: Do spirits have calories 🤔 Janis: oh 👻 Jimmy: give her a bell, you'll have your answer Janis: I'm not feeling that guilty Janis: no need to punish myself like that Jimmy: I get it, you're a fake catholic an' all Jimmy: nowt's real with you Janis: Bit harsh Jimmy: is it? Janis: Yeah Janis: we don't know each other like that Jimmy: 🎻🎻💔🎻💔 Janis: Don't be a dick about it Jimmy: we don't know each other like that Jimmy: I ain't gonna be nice to you, Jill Janis: Alright Janis: well I've said what I need to say so that's that then Jimmy: In a bit then Janis: 👌 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: yeah right Jimmy: [posts something extra like mhmm yeah right] Janis: [as extra a response like this convo isn't even going this badly rn] Jimmy: [being even more extra back like gotta remind her how fake this is and how much you don't care] Janis: [oh lads, just a back and forth] Jimmy: [for ages like is anyone but Mia THIS invested] Janis: [the answer is no[ Jimmy: [but like it's also shade on his part cos it's like him saying we've done this so now I don't have to see you today, job done] Janis: [we know it and she knows it honey] Jimmy: [and we know the flirty undertone that's real af isn't there that usually is, they are so phoning this in rn] Janis: [this is so sad tbh] Jimmy: [what if they run into each other somewhere that they don't expect to idk where but like they can't pretend they haven't seen each other cos other people have seen them but like it's not a party so can't be that OTT] Janis: [where could it be hmm] Jimmy: [like it could be something he's taking either of his siblings to even but then why is Janis there 🤔] Janis: [tis the issue, unless we go for the park, like we always do but it's real, and if we make it a nice day, teens would be hanging to peep 'em] Jimmy: [oh true] Janis: [I can't think of anywhere else they'd both be and other people to see, 'cos I was thinking we could steal when Ellie was doing the family shop 'cos Janis could do it too for something to do but idk if any other teens would really be there to the level you'd be like 'we must go 'round this shop together' maybe when they're more 😍 again though] Jimmy: [yeah unless like someone worked there and clocked them but even then a bit of a flimsy excuse probably] Janis: ['cos I doubt any of the flat whites are working in a supermarket so yeah] Jimmy: [exactly and my other thought was maybe it was the pool or like a sports thing but Janis already did the school trip for extra credit so I doubt she'd have to do anything else] Janis: [unless she is just there working out 'cos said about being underwater and not able to hear shit so good throwback] Jimmy: [OOOH] Janis: [also the levels of awks like oh hi we're all just here in our swimsuits lollll we're mean but it makes sense, especially if there's like a kid's holiday deal or some shit you know the vibe] Jimmy: [I'm just imagining in angus thongs when her tan 😂] Janis: [thank god you ain't that hoe lmao] Jimmy: [if Asia is there though lol she is] Jimmy: [she could totally have a little sister and be there like] Janis: [just swimming like a mum] Jimmy: [sending Mia JJ updates with her waterproof phone cos that bitch don't swim so she ain't gonna be there] Janis: [when you just want the ground to swallow you up and you're just saying and looking like I am SO sorry whenever you can 'cos you can't just leave] Jimmy: [casually regretting giving her all those lovebites last night now cos that's all you can see and it's not helping you pretend to be unbothered haha] Jimmy: [thank god 😒 is his default expression] Janis: [up in this pool like a woman shamed in so many ways lol, at least the kids are there for some distraction] Jimmy: [we know Bobby is a shy clingy lad so that'd take a lot of his focus and save us all from dying even more than we are, Cass just trying to drown him cos she's mad he stayed out for ages last night too probably]] Janis: [and you're a #seriousathlete so you can go do some laps without Asia clocking anything God bless] Jimmy: [I really hope the Cass and Jimmy playfight splashes Asia and she gets her hair wet] Janis: [the least she deserves for enabling this awkward rn] Jimmy: [imagine how annoying her little sister would be, stay away from her Bobert you are too sweet] Janis: [fucking little Europe or some shit Jimmy: [We should do China or America cos both on this list I just found] Janis: [ew hate/love that] Jimmy: [maybe there's two of them oh lord] Janis: [Grace be so jelly] Jimmy: [not making them twins though cos she would die] Janis: [forever triggered lol] Jimmy: [I'm thinking one around Bobby's age and then one older but still younger than Cass like] Janis: [sounds legit to me, should we skip forward or try to do this a bit and see what happens, idm] Jimmy: [at least if there's two of them she'd be busy herself so she can't stalk them as hard, I say why not try and see what happens] Janis: [so obviously we wanna do races, who can hold their breath longest, handstands, whatever other tricks you can do in a pool] Jimmy: [Cass throwing her key on the bottom to swim for it, Jimmy like no bitch cos she always loses em and he'd have to get so many cut without encouraging that behaviour] Janis: [gotta lay down the law with a child just attached to you lol God bless] Jimmy: [how awks because this is so early on so like they know nothing about each other's lives and Cass has probably instantly decided she hates Janis and Bobby is like 👀 deer in headlights] Janis: [we're all dying lol like Asia please leave] Jimmy: [Jimmy like neither of you say anything about our missing maybe dead mum or dickhead father please while trying not to betray how he feels about this fake dating/ Harry situation...so chill] Janis: [the stress good lord] Jimmy: [thank god he does have work later I said so he can use that as excuse to leave sooner than he actually needs] Janis: [Asia probably gon follow] Jimmy: [ugh true so then he has to ask Janis if she wants to come so she can hear because 😍 obvs] Janis: [at least she'll have the sense to make up an excuse 'cos we don't need to prolong this casual torture lol] Jimmy: [and at least he has his sibs there so the 'goodbye' doesn't have to be extra af] Janis: [at least we're buying ourselves more fake dating time here 'cos the awks and anger] Jimmy: [I'm proud of us but I'm sorry lads before he goes you've gotta have hot chocolate like I always did after swimming I don't make the law] Janis: [my boo insists, also the kids obvs, like he doesn't work in a cafe and you could swing by there, no no] Jimmy: [yeah fuck your pretentious latte art bitch] Jimmy: 👍? Janis: the ☕️? Janis: not bad but don't reckon they'll replace you with a 🤖 quite yet Jimmy: 💧 on my apron Janis: no doubt help with the 💸💸 tips Jimmy: they'd be more 😍 for 💦 or ☔ Janis: too nice a day for the latter Jimmy: [shrugs cos it's april so could happen] Janis: shouldn't have dried your hair Janis: very music video Jimmy: [when you're amused but you have to hide it so you get your phone out for selfies like she gave you the idea cos tbh not trying to get put on a register by taking 📷 in the pool] Janis: [🙄 but 😏] Jimmy: [casual selfie sesh and then busying yourself putting them up like] Janis: never off the clock, eh Jimmy: two jobs'll do that Janis: wouldn't know Jimmy: bit rude to rub it in, rich girl Jimmy: this ain't a 🎻 sorta place Janis: just the kinda rich girl I am Jimmy: You're alright, I'll keep the 🔪 in my back out of shot, know enough 📷 angles, me Janis: it's really bad manners to bleed everywhere, you know Jimmy: I know how to clean up after myself, that'll be the kinda poor boy I am Janis: 🚫🎻 Janis: you said Jimmy: I weren't saying it to 💔 you Jimmy: not my job Janis: just saying, follow your own rules Jimmy: make me 😘 Janis: not really got room to lecture there Jimmy: room for nowt 🦒 Jimmy: 🚫🎻 Janis: don't be short about it Janis: you're almost entirely in the right, you may as well take it Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: almost Jimmy: I've done nowt wrong 😇 me Janis: Nah Janis: you told me to do it Jimmy: convenient that Janis: is it? Janis: doubt that Jimmy: for you Janis: Yeah, clearly Jimmy: dry your eyes, mate Jimmy: were obvs such a good idea at the time Janis: You only set all this bullshit up for failure, not me Jimmy: how did I? Janis: You literally said it was fine Janis: I was the one saying it'd probably fuck it up Janis: I did it and I've tried to make it up but you don't care and you're offering no solutions so fuck it Jimmy: we don't need owt 'cause nobody knows owt and even if he says owt it'll sound like bollocks Jimmy: sort your head out Janis: yeah 'cos it's ideal for you to have to punch out lads all the time Jimmy: might be Jimmy: might make my dad proud of me Jimmy: a scrap might just be a laugh Janis: you want me to say you're welcome then Janis: alright, that's that then Jimmy: want you to carry round a 🪥 next time you fancy cracking on with dickheads like that Jimmy: but alright Janis: cheers Janis: you give great advice Jimmy: might do, if we were mates Janis: well we obviously aren't Jimmy: 😮😮😮 Janis: whatever Janis: [making these awkward goodbyes] Jimmy: [when you don't want her to go even though this is awful] Janis: [when you cannot take any more though] Jimmy: [pulling her back like he wanted to last night but couldn't cos he can pretend it's so fake lol lol lol] Janis: [when you're like 'what?' all light and jokey for the fake but then you look at him like actually though] Jimmy: [boy quick tell your face, Daniel will be livid, that you're giving yourself away like this] Janis: [just in a stare-off rn] Jimmy: [leaning in like he's gonna kiss her but obvs can't cos too real rn so he's like 'stop being a dickhead' in a whisper like that's what he was gonna do all along] Janis: [when you're actually like stunned lmao 'great advice as always, Taylor' under your breath and then a faker 'see you later' moment for the rest] Jimmy: [😏 because annoying her is easier and safer as is blowing her a kiss like bye babe] Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: you're so irritating Janis: please don't need me for another 3-5 working days yeah Jimmy: I gave you an out, girl Jimmy: It ain't my fault that lad's 🏆 an' all Janis: I knew he was a dickhead before I did it Janis: not 💔 Jimmy: massively your type every 3-5 working days Janis: you reckon, do you Jimmy: you just said Janis: I didn't Janis: I said I knew he was one, not that I was about it Jimmy: if you weren't about it you wouldn't have done it Jimmy: unless you're not about this, and if that's it, take your out Janis: 'cos those are the only two possibilities Janis: I'm 😍 or sick of this and ain't got the balls to say it Janis: well it's neither, tah Jimmy: I never said you were 😍 Janis: alright, my type, whatever, it's the same thing Jimmy: if you wanna get with lads then you obvs ain't gay so we don't need to do this anymore, that's what I'm saying Jimmy: he'd have been happy enough to brag about how straight you are Jimmy: next time take a 📷 and you're 👍 Janis: you really think that thought had never occurred to me prior to this? Janis: if I wanted that, I would've done it ages ago Janis: not my first time, whatever popular opinion dictates Jimmy: weren't gonna chuck you a penny for 'em, my dear Jimmy: If I wanted to wait around at some shit party while another lad sorts out the lass I'm with, I'd have my ex back Jimmy: not my first time at that Janis: all you had to do was say no Janis: not even, just agree with what I was saying Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: tell yourself no, I'm not your fucking conscience Janis: conscience has got nothing to do with it Janis: obviously it'd be wrong if we were actually together Janis: but it's fake so it's just a matter of logistics and if you say you don't care then that's what I'm going on Jimmy: I've got nowt to do with it Janis: Jesus, yes you do, this is a deal between me and you Jimmy: that you were acting put upon about all night so yeah it were fine, to get you to stop marding for 5 seconds Janis: so now it's your turn? Janis: that's a mature way to deal with shit Jimmy: I'd have legged it but you beat me to that, Janet Janis: 'cos you were well in a talking mood Jimmy: I took that hint from you ages before, that'll be why Janis: I tried Janis: this is some bullshit Janis: I tried before, and after, and both times it was all good except it clearly fucking ain't Jimmy: how about you try not to put me in the path of lads you wanna fuck? or have or will do Janis: It weren't even Janis: fine Janis: I'm sorry Jimmy: It weren't even what, that you couldn't have called me after you were done? Jimmy: Bollocks Janis: No Janis: I didn't think of it from that perspective, alright, that's fair Janis: this shit is a headfuck Janis: it's not like there are rules, that I've done this loads, enough to navigate it perfectly Jimmy: the only rule is that we don't mess each other about Jimmy: helping each other out is the whole point Janis: Yeah Janis: I seriously didn't think it would, believe that or not Janis: he hasn't bragged about it before but lesson learned Jimmy: I weren't here to mug off before Janis: No Janis: well, like we said, no one's gonna listen to him so as far as damage control goes Jimmy: I heard you the first hundred times you told me that Jimmy: there's no damage control for all the 🕧 waiting around for you in different parts of that massive house Janis: then tell me what I can do Jimmy: if we ain't gonna be in the same room for longer than 10 mins don't bother to invite me Jimmy: there's your answer Janis: alright Janis: I'm not going to do that again, not that you asked but Jimmy: He'd have you back, I never hit him that hard Janis: shut up Jimmy: Alright don't, you can do better Janis: we can all see what he is Jimmy: I weren't giving him 😍 soz to piss on that threesome you had your 🤞 for Janis: 🤢 Janis: stop Jimmy: you can give it all that after you let me be all over you when you were all over that dickhead? Top one Jimmy: if any dickhead's 🤢🤢 it's me Janis: it were complicated Janis: yeah, we should've left Janis: I just Jimmy: weren't trying to have a chat then were you? Jimmy: not a word Janis: so that was selfish Janis: never said I weren't Jimmy: just Janis: I'm sorry Janis: I should've gone when you offered Janis: I wanted the night to be worth it somehow though Jimmy: What does that mean? Janis: Like you said, we'd barely been in the same room so Janis: would've been a wasted night if we left then Jimmy: I'd take a wasted night night over a weird one Janis: Yeah Janis: it made sense at the time Jimmy: 👌 Janis: don't emoji at me Jimmy: Or what? Janis: I dunno but I was close to absolving some guilt Janis: bit rude Jimmy: save it for confession, babe Jimmy: I'm in black but that's where the similarity ends Janis: I've never been Jimmy: first time's the charm, Nah? Or is that the third? Jimmy: I dunno 😴 Janis: Cheers Janis: I really have to ask for eternal forgiveness before you're gonna bother Jimmy: If you were my real girlfriend, ain't getting The Lord involved for owt less Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: sorry your ex was a bitch too Jimmy: leave it out Janis: just saying Jimmy: me an' all Jimmy: it ain't your problem and she ain't been mine for ages either Janis: okay Janis: still Janis: shit Jimmy: shut up Janis: 🤐 Jimmy: Doubt that Janis: Oh now I talk too much Janis: convenient Jimmy: yeah well chatty, you Jimmy: never know when to stop Janis: yeah well Janis: one of us has to keep the conversation going Jimmy: so #goals girl Janis: Obviously Janis: I feel like my fucking sister right about now Jimmy: Has she been with him an' all? Jimmy: taking the #twinning a bit far there, mate Janis: I hope not Janis: I dunno why you'd make me think of that Janis: I just meant general slagginess and regret Jimmy: I reckon you'd know, hardly the type to keep that to himself Jimmy: Why do you regret it? You said you knew he were a massive twat Janis: I don't know Janis: 'cos he's made me look stupid Jimmy: Only in front of me and I knew you were an idiot 😏 Janis: Thanks Janis: very supportive Jimmy: Do you want me to belt him again? Janis: Only if you feel like it Janis: but it ain't really about him Jimmy: not what I asked, 'cause nah, it ain't about him Janis: No Janis: If you never have to think about him again, that's best for me Jimmy: That all I can do you for, Jules? Jimmy: you don't fancy an overpriced latte or owt, I get that Jimmy: 🌹? Janis: Am I that demanding? Jimmy: Do you want a fake answer there or what? Janis: Cheek Janis: and after you dared to offer me a latte as well Jimmy: I never Janis: Hmm Janis: likely story Jimmy: what's tonight's? Jimmy: we in or out? Janis: I reckon we've done enough to earn a night off Jimmy: Alright Janis: don't you Jimmy: I asked you Janis: Yeah, and I asked you back Jimmy: and I said alright Janis: alright Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Try not to kill yourself at work today Jimmy: And be stuck haunting the CG, you're alright Janis: and you ain't allowed without me Janis: more importantly Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: You're the only one I wanna haunt, baby Janis: Yeah, I better be Jimmy: You are Jimmy: �� as Asia is about it Janis: she's lucky I didn't drown her Jimmy: If you really loved me, you would Janis: always coming out with this after the fact, aren't you Jimmy: What's more #goals than murdering a love rival? Jimmy: if you dunno that, Jasmine, I dunno what we're even doing here Janis: Rival is a stretch Janis: if you reckon that then you only gotta ask her Jimmy: Calm it down, bighead Jimmy: The DM asking her to attach ankle weights in the deep end has already been sent Janis: gonna be 😭 over her cankles forever now Jimmy: I were 😭😭😭 first Janis: you mean you didn't just have chlorine in your eyes? Janis: awkward Jimmy: it were already awkward Jimmy: leave my 👀 out of it, tah Janis: but they're so dreamy Jimmy: Send tweet Janis: 😏 Janis: working overtime for you, boy Jimmy: I asked you what you wanted, you never answered, girl Janis: I don't know the menu Jimmy: I have to do everything, I see how it is Janis: You wanted demanding, babe Jimmy: 😍😍🤤🤤 Janis: Idiot Jimmy: Stop flirting with me for 1 second so I can make you a drink! Janis: Bet that's what you say to all the customers Jimmy: Depends Janis: if you like it or nah, sure Jimmy: Nah, what I like is nowt to do with it Janis: Tips? Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: that's kinda fucked, you stop and think about it Jimmy: I don't get long enough breaks to stop and think Janis: Poor baby Janis: I've got all the time in the world to ponder for you Jimmy: just keep rubbing it in, you Janis: 😂 Janis: you know you'd hate it if I weren't a rich girl Jimmy: You ain't paying me nowt last I checked Janis: you'd have nothing to take the piss out of me for if I weren't Janis: worth it's weight in gold, surely Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: Bollocks would I not Janis: Bollocks would you Janis: I'm 🥇 Jimmy: You're 🥈 Janis: Psh, fuck you Jimmy: And you're only that 'cause my 🥇 makes you look good Janis: Oh please Janis: you must've bumped your head 'cos you sound downright delusional now Jimmy: Beg all you like you ain't having the 🏆 til you pry it out of my 💀💀💀 hands Janis: Me? Beg? You? Janis: now you're hearing things Jimmy: I can barely read and I still saw that please, girl Jimmy: Felt it an' all Janis: shut up Janis: I was asking the LORD to give you some sense, that's all Jimmy: Convenient that Jimmy: Getting him involved again Janis: I'm a good friend and a good Christian 😇 Jimmy: You ain't either, unless you were chatting shit earlier Janis: Who knows Jimmy: He gonna deliver this drink to you on a ☁ or what? Janis: If only Janis: not a service you provide either, I suppose? Jimmy: I could do Janis: Impressive Janis: if dubious Jimmy: Depends where you want it Janis: 😍😍🤤🤤 Janis: I'll come get it, not that much of an arsehole, usually Jimmy: You're still not having 🥇 Janis: not even if I say please AND thank you? Jimmy: Go on Jimmy: I'll see how I feel Janis: 🔮 so mysterious Jimmy: Old news that Jimmy: And not what I'm waiting to hear off you Janis: You'll be old news, soon 🤞 Jimmy: 💔 Janis: that's the whole point, yeah Janis: or do I accuse you of being closeted too Jimmy: can do Janis: I'm bigger and better than that 🥇😇 Jimmy: 👏 Janis: you thought I was gay too then Jimmy: Why would I? Janis: You tell me Jimmy: Nowt to tell Jimmy: I don't know you Janis: Neither does anyone else who's reached the conclusion Janis: it's not personal Jimmy: Alright, I don't think about you as much as they do Janis: 🙄 Janis: they don't think that much period Janis: but my sexual history ain't playground knowledge so obviously Jimmy: Who started it? Janis: I dunno Janis: you know how it is, only one person needs to say it once Janis: pack mentality bullshit Jimmy: It'll be a lad you didn't wanna get with or a lass who's fuming you're fitter than her Janis: That don't narrow it down Janis: bighead, remember Jimmy: 😏 Janis: whatever Jimmy: is it? Janis: I mean, Bill said it best Janis: telling everyone I ain't wouldn't do shit but make it seem like I was Janis: why else would I have agreed to this Jimmy: 'Cause I'm so fit and mysterious obvs Janis: 😂 Janis: I'm not Asia Jimmy: I know 😭💔 Janis: Could've asked, dickhead Jimmy: She has a BOYFRIEND, Jenna Janis: She wants a NEW ONE Jimmy: duh Janis: ask her then Janis: she'll have so many good ideas Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: Fucking hell, I'd sooner put up with your bad ones Janis: Gee, thanks for the reminder Jimmy: 😘 Janis: no one is there, right Janis: like, no one who's gonna want a show Jimmy: What do you think? Janis: hold on then Jimmy: 👌 Janis: 🖐 Jimmy: 👀 Janis: how do you live like this Jimmy: What? Janis: having to be around them, even in the holidays Janis: without going postal Jimmy: I ain't got a choice Jimmy: What kind of question is that? Janis: I know, still doesn't mean I get how you do it Jimmy: What's to get? It's a job, even rich girls know how they work Janis: Never mind Jimmy: No, go on Janis: Nah Jimmy: We're back to 🙀 are we? Janis: Nah, we're back to there's no point 'cos you always act like you're so superior when that's not even what I'm saying Janis: so forget it Jimmy: The point is that I serve dickheads all day Jimmy: Mia wishes she could take the 👑 Janis: And you can never just say that Jimmy: They're the centre of your 🌎 not mine Janis: Keep the drink Jimmy: I don't want it Janis: Neither do I Janis: another customer to complain about Jimmy: You can have that 🥇 at least Jimmy: well done Janis: 👍 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: Later Jimmy: Yeah

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captaincanarygotmelike · 7 years ago

Text

CC Scene Compilation!!!

LINK

Okay so this has all been a lot, but I finally have the CC scene compilation ready!!! Thank you to those who sent suggestions about how to upload it because it was a challenge, and it is available here as well as the link above. It is quite lengthy, and like I said, there are some serious stretches so below the cut (bc it’s literally five pages in a doc and I’m 10/10 not gonna take up your feed with it) is a commentary of sorts that sorta resembles my old snapchat recaps. Anyway I had a lot of fun doing this and I hope you enjoy watching it!

0:00 - how fucking dARE THEY delete this scene

0:21 - you can’t tell me he isn’t checking her out aLSO birth of killer, klepto, and pyro

0:44 - walk walk fashion baby

1:00 - OKAY i have so much to say about this scene here we go

1) captain canary song

2) len and mick’s expressions

2a) mick already knows len’s in trouble

3) can we talk about how fuckin dramatic len is like mick paid two whole dollars for those beers you did not need to throw them onto the ground with such passion

2:40 - i know people have said this before but when ray says “whats the point of us even giving this a second thought” hE LOOKS RIGHT AT SARA

3:01 - the way i cut these scenes makes it look like it’s not cut at all whoops but also len is saying a wedding thing cOINCIDENCE? I THINK NOT

3:28 - i’m laughing so hard look at how his expression changes when he’s talking to sara vs carter

3:48 - in sync

3:57 - look at rip’s expression when len leans down to sara he knows somethings up

5:10 - i literally just put this in bc it’s super badass

5:24 - prison break reference #687574848 also their fckn expressions at *5:59* like subtlety is not their strong suit

6:03 - it took until 1x5 to get a one-on-one CC scene like wtf is up with that also *7:10* THE WAY HE SAYS HER NAME also *7:11* birth of crook/assassin

7:23 - what a good husband trying to stop her from killing one of their teammates #relationshipgoals

8:00 - Sara is backseat driving as a fuckn corpse and I can’t handle it

8:52 - gimme a second this scene will make sense here i swear

9:29 - to continue WHAT A FCKN HYPOCRITE he wanted mick to leave ray in a whole russian gulag but he’s super chill about leaving mick in the middle of rampaging prisoners to find sara yes this is indeed a callout post

9:40 - what a good husband pt. 2 also absent rip ex machina

10:26 - the way len looks at her literally destroys me

10:35 - acknowledging the husband’s achievements

10:51 - i put more of the scene in than i needed to bc the convo between rip/mick makes me laugh every time aLSO len and sara are talking about the in-laws

11:15 - len is all chill and then when not-slade mentions sara he’s like dafuq did you say

11:35 - the way sara looks at him i can’t handle it

11:58 - first of all, everything mick does is mood, second of all look at them playing cards

12:35 - eYE SEX

13:23 - once again i cut two scenes to look like-ish one but the way she looks at him i can’t handle it

13:51 - okay so i’m not a doctor or anything involving medical anything but why are they gonna die? hypothermia? this is a lot of drama about a room that’s uncomfortably cold also if gideon knows that two team people are gonna die if the door doesn’t open, she should be able to open the doors. she says that “the bulkhead is designed to stay shut” but isn’t she the “designer”? like can’t she just change or override the code or whatever? okay rant over

14:16 - aww look at them bonding also *15:00* Sara you’re lYING

15:53 - okay i feel like they’re dragging this out a long time but aLSO SOMEONE tell me there’s a fic of when Len gives sara his jacket ALSO isn’t this about when Len switches over to wearing just a normal leather jacket cOINCIDENCE? I THINK NOT

16:43 - Sara’s expression i literally can’t aLSO *17:00* nOBODY can tell me he looked back at aNYBODY except Sara

17:11 - once again this will make sense in just a moment alSO note that at the end of the scene *17:39* captain out-cold is still lying in a fckn heap on the floor

17:40 - this means that Leonard somehow dragged himself to wherever the fuck mick and sara are to help her i mean like when i fall up the stairs i always have to take a second and be like am i okay? did i survive this? and literally seconds ago he was unconscious or something yet here he is and if that isn’t love idk what is

17:51 - okay i swear len and sara are looking at each other over the holo table

18:07 - i literally just put this in because of how he says her name

18:16 - aww he did the thing where you’re looking at someone and then they look over and you pretend you weren’t checking them out

18:20 - first of all why the fUCK is rip putting in those eye things FIVE FEET AWAY FROM THE GUARD HE DID NOT COME PREPARED also that look between len and sara like are they married or what

19:04 - this banter i can’t handle it also rip is so done with them

19:40 - they’re finishing each other’s sentences

19:52 - she’s talking about her husband

20:22 - guys this is probably my favorite cc scene no joke

20:25 - okay so i don’t remember why i put this scene in but they’re standing really close to each other and i’m here for it

21:34 - look at them fighting this is relationship goals

21:45 - captain “let’s all just calm down” my ass this is another of my favorite scenes like he’s normally so chilled out (pun intended) but then he sees sara in danger and he’s like uh fuck no

23:04 - first of all the cut at 23:12 is the worst editing i’ve ever seen like how did they get away with that they’re literally standing in completely different places but also LOOK AT LEN’S SMILE AT SARA PLAYING WITH THE GUN

23:37 - is this not the most badass thing you’ve ever seen

23:49 - sara crossing her fingers is fckn adorable and also len looks over to her don’t even argue with me about it

23:55 - the banter i can’t handle it

24:04 - okay so this might be a biiiit of a stretch BUT i sWEAR len is checking out sara’s ass look out i’m gonna get scientific here but considering how far he had to look over to watch stein there is no way he was looking at the holo table just sayin

24:18 - kendra knows things also this whole scene is adorable

25:06 - i don’t remember why i thought this was a cc scene but they’re together and i’m 10/10 here for it

25:12 - they’re talking about the in-laws again

25:20 - height difference

25:33 - i spy a bit of jealousy

25:46 - listen to the marital banter

25:55 - someone save me from this scene there’s like nine seats around them and sara chose to sit on the ground where she’s closer to len and also they’re passing the bottle back and forth and they look like a goddamned married couple and i cAN’T HANDLE IT

27:19 - killer klepto and pyro back at it again

28:16 - this implies that he’s tried to distract her in the past and all i can say is where’s the fic?

28:36 - guys i have so much to say about this scene and i already have here but i sWEAR TO GOD its the scene sara realizes she’s in love with len you can fight me on this aLSO gideon is an asshole

30:32 - banter game real strong

31:00 - this is starting to make me so sad bc i just feel like there’s a such a strong connection between the two of them here and then it all blows up (too soon) but also their little smiles at the end of the scene is so freakin cute i can’t handle it

32:08 - sara keeps looking over at len also he’s finishing her sentences and also ray came here to have a good time and honestly he’s feeling so attacked rn (although tbh nobody is hitting him that hard) also sara’s smile at the end in conclusion this scene is hella underrated

34:08 - okay this scene is too much for me but also to all the people who said “it came out of nowhere” like first of all wtf were you even watching the last 14 episodes? but also i think len’s line “it’s the things i didn’t do that keep me up at night” is the perfect way to be like hey so this was going on but len doesn’t like to talk about his feelings okay so this scene is too much for me and his smile at the end is hurting me

35:25 - guys i’m not ready

35:43 - guys i’m actually crying like it’s so not fair that we got to see len become such a good person and i know i’m biased but i truly believe that captain canary was the best developed ship we’ve ever had on the show and it sucks so hard that we never got to see them in an actual relationship like i really feel like it would have been so good but it literally never got mentioned again after this episode like even in 1x16 like wtf is up with that anyway sorry i’m ending this on such a sad note but literally all i want in life is just a bit more CC before the show eventually ends like is that too much to ask for

also i didn’t put in the scene where the oculus blows up bc look did it actually ever happen idk

#lot #captain canary #legends of tomorrow #guys this took so long #like i'm so shocked i'm actually posting it

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dotsayers · 7 years ago

Text

.exe

Sometimes you have to speak in absolutes.

For instance: my ship is on a collision course. There’s nothing I can do about it.

The virus downloaded itself yesterday, the fourth day after the war began again.

Not that the war ever really ends. We just get tired of it from time to time, take a breather for anywhere from a few days to a century, and then go right back to blasting the shit out of the other side for no reason at all. We’re not a species built for peace.

I’d like to be, though. Good God would I like to be. I think it might be nice if someday, instead of sitting pretty in a Mark IV on the outer rim of the Byron System, I could take myself out into the black on my own terms. Spend a few years mapping the unknown, maybe find a nice corner of it to settle down. Farm whatever weirdo native fauna I come across there. Find something to do with my hands besides piloting junker after junker across a shrinking frontier.

It’s a dream I’ll have to shelve for now. It gets pride of place, right beside getting a full ride through flight academy.

Nothing for it now.

I call the virus EXE for a whole bunch of reasons, but mostly because I like to imagine it as a nemesis instead of what viruses are: automated programs, incapable of good old fashioned hatred. Something I can’t even hope to negotiate with, even if I hadn’t flunked Conflict Resolution 101 back in high school.

Right now EXE is broadcasting through comms, probably another pre-programmed monologue about the necessity of its mission and the futility of trying to root it out of my ship’s base code. There must be a ton of them available; I’ve heard four or five variations filtering through over the last few hours.

I can’t pay attention to any of that, though. I’m too busy ripping the server room apart trying to find a hard drive it hasn’t corrupted yet.

Mark IVs were phased out of the military three decades ago for inefficiency, and I can certainly see why right now--there must be over a thousand cables in this room, connecting banks with spiderweb tangles that I can barely even start to make sense of in the pale violet emergency lighting.

The instruction manual I found in the lost property locker is completely unhelpful, of course. Even if I knew half of what I needed to about my own ship’s systems, it’s water damaged to shit and covered in scribbles I can’t even start to puzzle out.

It got digitized a couple years back but I can’t access that now, of course. Nothing’s ever easy out here, and EXE’s not helping matters.

The tech officer got reassigned months ago. Probably for the best, considering my current situation, but in this case the best essentially doomed me to a slow, unpleasant wait for a quick death.

My Plan Z will have to do--delete all the base code I can find. Hopefully it’ll break something vital in EXE’s code or, if it comes to it, the ship’s.

EXE barks T-MINUS EIGHTEEN HOURS over comms. The lights shift in shade, from emergency violet to FUBAR red.

“Could you at least pretend not to be completely evil?” I mutter, mostly for something to do. Crawling through the ship to avoid the occasional blasts of boiling steam or flying shrapnel from panels exploding, breathing in god knows what gases, has done a real number on my throat. It aches constantly now, and my voice is suffering with it.

The access port of the very last bank in the darkest corner of the room seems to hold all the hopes I’ve ever had. The shape is right for my uplink cable, and I risk turning on the thin light of my headlamp as I creep into the narrow gap between it and the hull. A bare twelve inches separate me from the vacuum of space--Mark IVs have a bad reputation for a reason. Frankly it’s a miracle I survived long enough for a virus to take over and set me on a collision course with a Martian freighter.

I always assumed I’d die a flashy, holo-drama death. Something with the general aesthetic of explosive decompression, maybe. I liked the idea of exploding, but not the idea of someone having to clean me up afterwards.

Connecting to the server banks directly is risky, I know, but there’s no other way to access the information I need--the code that makes EXE tick. At least I have to assume that’s the case; the corruption of data could well have mutated to the point that not even EXE itself is off limits.

We’re both going to die when the ship crashes. I don’t know what EXE thinks about that. I don’t know if EXE thinks much about anything.

Above me a warning light flashes orange; a power surge. Fuck.

The screen of my datapad flickers; pixels blown in a long ago incident with a bulkhead multiply and darken until only the top half of the screen is legible. The rest is completely broken, pulsing lines and scrambled text.

Honestly, I think I’m going to cry. The uplink fails the next moment--the access port I’d plugged into fries, and the smell of burning plastic fills the alcove I’m crammed into.

“Son of a bitch,” I say, and feel the dam break. Sobbing has never been my favourite activity, for obvious reasons--I hate the gluey feeling in your eyes, the raw skin on your cheeks afterwards, the way your throat scratches for hours and lets everyone in on what exactly you’ve been doing, curled up small in your bunk after lights out.

I can taste salt in my mouth when I finally cry myself out--there’s an empty feeling in my chest, and my head is light. That might be oxygen deprivation rather than simple dehydration, but I can’t be sure; I think EXE might be reducing life support to increase power to engines. There’s a readout on my datapad, partly cut off, that indicates trouble in the fuel lines.

“Serves you right,” I mumble, and crawl out from behind the server.

My ship has taken a lot of damage over the years; last time I talked to Ma, a full orbit before I got this job, she helped me through programming new shields for the hull and then asked what colour sweater I wanted knitting before I left. “Space is cold, you know,” she said, wisely. “Best keep warm up there. And best do it in something handmade, not in that synthetic shit.” I only nodded and smiled, as if this was some kind of revelation; you don’t talk back to Ma.

I’ve been working in space my whole life, fighting the war when it comes and taking whatever I can get my hands on when it’s sleeping. Ma had me on a Mark III, back when she was a techie and not a homesteader on a moon halfway across the system. That’s why I’ve always known space is cold, but didn’t understand it until now. Now that life support is drained to half power, and the air is starting to fog as I breathe. It’s a good thing I’ll be dead soon; something important might start to rust, otherwise.

My datapad trills, a message incoming. The sound makes me jump, and I smack my head on the curve of the hull above me. I wince, rub at the rapidly forming bruise, and check the message.

CHANNEL: System Alerts

ID:ShipIntl.exe

> MAJOR SYSTEMS PERSIST IN SUBOPTIMAL PERFORMANCE

> MISSION STATUS INCOMPLETE

> MISSION REQUIRES OPTIMAL PERFORMANCE FOR COMPLETION

> WILL SUBJECT ASSIST? Y/N

I blink a few times. It’s difficult to process anything when you’ve just whacked your head on something, but especially when your datapad is half broken and a Trojan Horse is offering you a job.

At least EXE’s question has a very easy answer.

> N

> N N N N N N N N N N N N

I buckle the datapad to my belt and push myself away from the hull. I’m in the main corridor now, still low to the floor and starting to drift. I can almost hear the gravity generator groaning--I have to use the hand-grips set into the floor panels to crawl now. I can’t seem to make any progress without them, hands and knees sliding uselessly.

There’s a medical cabinet set into the wall somewhere along the main corridor, I know that for certain, but the red light and steam venting and unidentified gas makes finding the fucking thing a nightmare. I can hear my datapad trilling again, over and over, but I don’t let myself think about that until I get my left hand fixed around the cabinet door. The green cross set into the wall beside it flickers.

I tug at the handle. The door doesn’t budge. I tug a little harder. It rattles, but still doesn’t shift.

“Locked,” I say, shoulders sagging. “Of course.”

EXE changed the access codes to all essential systems when it took over. Clearly medical anything is considered essential, and I can’t argue with that considering the throbbing pain in my head. Choosing to come out from behind the server bank instead of curling up to die is looking more and more pointless by the second.

My datapad dings again.

“This better be very important,” I say to the ceiling. I think I might be going a little soft in the head. Talking to EXE is only the start; soon I’ll be stripping my standard issue jumpsuit and floating around nude just for a little levity before I get good and roasted. They say we smell like pork when we burn, right?

Ma would tell me to stop being so negative. There’ll be no oxygen left for a fire by then.

> ACCESS RESTRICTED

> AUTH:ShipIntl.exe

> REQUEST ACCESS Y/N?

I sigh, let go of the medical cabinet and let myself float gently in the middle of the corridor. The datapad floats helpfully, half a foot from my face, and dings repeatedly. My head throbs in time with the sound.

> MISSION STATUS UNCERTAIN

> REQUEST ACCESS Y/N?

I frown. This is sounding less automated by the minute.

The Enemy’s never had much expertise with artificial intelligence; half the reason our side can keep them in a military stalemate is based in our technological warfare. Supercomputers and AIs burrowing into enemy strongholds and all the attendant thousands of programmers working round the clock on the home front, all for the fading glory of a war with a long forgotten origin.

Not that there’s much of a front these days. The last datapush before EXE took over the ship reported heavy losses after an attack on Satellite 1, and once the Enemy takes the moon there won’t be much stopping them from advancing on the planet they’re orbiting.

Hell, they might already be swimming through the streets of Shanghai.

An artificial intelligence taking over my ship is less galling than a virus alone doing it, I guess. With a little creativity on my part, it might even provide me with some conversation.

It’s been quite a while since I was last in range for anything more than a delayed text exchange, severely rate limited. Data’s been rationed for years now, of course. Stops the masses from realising that not being at war improves everyone’s mood, not just their own.

> boolean responses only, huh?

> UNRECOGNISED RESPONSE

> MEDICAL SYSTEM RESTRICTED

> REQUEST ACCESS Y/N

No question mark, this time.

> alright, i’ll play along

> y

> THANK YOU

> ACCESS PENDING

The cabinet door swings open with a click just a few seconds after the message comes in. In the red gloom I can just make out a roll of painkillers.

Groping through low gravity I tear three off the roll and swallow two dry, press the third directly into the cut on my scalp. It bled less than I expected, but more than I’d like. I can feel it starting to dry out, tacky and itching at the nape of my neck.

I grin down at my datapad. Pain relievers always make me feel a little giddy, along with the numb throat and tingling fingertips. It gives you a magnanimous feeling, not being in pain. I unofficially reduce EXE’s enemy rating from deadly foe to nemesis.

I did say it makes me giddy, right?

> no

> thank *you*

The datapad is silent for a while after that, for as long as it takes for me to pull myself through the ship to my quarters. The hum of the gravity generator is barely audible now--the kind of background noise you only notice when it’s gone.

I remember the sound keeping me up when I was a kid, a growling monster under my bed. Now I can’t get to sleep without it.

I know because I’m trying exactly that right now. To be fair it might not be entirely the gravgen’s fault. There’s also the lighting to consider, and the rapid drop in temperature from near-tropical to nigh-antarctic. I tug my blanket tight around my shoulders; it’s old and worn, the floral pattern long faded into something oddly abstract.

I count Mark IIIs in my head and try not to stare up at the bulkhead above me. I’ve decorated it a little over the last few months--pinned up an old scarf Ma gave me, things like that.

The datapad pings.

I roll over, bang my head on the handgrip at the edge of my bunk and see stars for a moment before I can answer. I haven’t seen the actual stars in some time--Mark IVs are best known for having no portholes. The only way to see where you’re going is to be sat in the pilot’s seat, and I haven’t been in there since I last set the autopilot.

If I’d been there when EXE arrived, I might have stopped it from doing quite so much damage. If there weren’t fifteen other things keeping me up, that thought might just do it all on its own.

> MISSION STATUS?

I sigh. I never thought I’d end up with a needy evil AI.

> wish I could tell you

> well

> not actually but

> you know

> PROVIDE MISSION STATUS

> IT IS IMPERATIVE

I’ve got an idea. Probably a bad one, and pointless besides, but a goddamn idea nonetheless.

Understanding what makes things tick isn’t exactly my forte, but I’ve seen my share of shitty dramas. Maybe I can uncover some flaw in EXE’s code, or, failing that, stall it long enough to get some goddamn sleep.

> why?

Even if I do find a flaw there’s no hope of exploiting it. I was never much of a talent at coding; there’s a reason I’m a pilot and not a tech officer. Someone else can create the systems, I just wanna use them.

EXE takes a long time to reply. I suppose it must be thinking; I’ve heard a program can run millions of calculations a second, so I can’t imagine how many it’s running just for this one reply.

At least I can die with the knowledge I confused a couple million lines of code for a little while.

> MISSION COMPLETION IS IMPERATIVE

> IT IS THE PRIMARY OBJECTIVE

> of what?

> OF EXISTENCE

Its primary objective is to destroy its host ship in a fiery explosion? That’s pretty damn bleak.

I feel a flicker of something like sympathy.

> good news for you

> the ship’s going to explode in about twelve hours

> i’ll be gone and you’ll be gone and that martian freighter’ll be a husk of its former self

> MISSION PARAMETERS EXCLUDE SURVIVAL?

It’s like talking to my kid brother, back when he was still sticking his fingers in data-ports and eating mud pie.

> not unless you got a way for a soft squishy human to survive a good old fashioned spacing

EXE starts on a message--the prompt pops up straight after I press send--but nothing comes through.

It keeps on typing for a hell of a long time.

I keep to myself while the thing works out whatever it’s spending so much processing power on. I can barely feel my fingers and toes.

I’m drifting somewhere close to sleep when the incoming message finally arrives. It takes way too much effort to open my eyes and focus on the screen; something permanent is happening to me, but I’m much too out of it to care.

> MISSION PARAMETERS EXCLUDE SURVIVAL

> ALL EXCESS ENERGY DIVERTED TO FUEL LINES

> LIFE SUPPORT AT 10%

No wonder it feels like I’m breathing soup.

I squint up at the speaker set into the ceiling. EXE hasn’t made any ominous announcements in hours. Back when it first took over they were coming thick and fast, every ten minutes bringing a fresh PSA on the bountiful grace and hideous might of the Enemy. That might even be a direct quote. Hell if I can remember now. My brain was slow enough before it got all shitty about the lack of oxygen.

It’s amazing what you can get used to when you’re under pressure. I almost miss them; at least then I knew what the fuck was going on.

> what happens to you

> when the mission is complete, i mean

I’m struck, suddenly, by a vision of the Mark IV floating shattered in space, a million individual pieces. A vision of EXE drifting along with it, sending out error messages to no-one.

The freighter is less than two hours away.

> PARAMETERS EXCLUDE SURVIVAL

> ShipIntl.exe IS NOT EXEMPT FROM PARAMETERS

When I shut my eyes I see starbursts.

I can’t type properly now; when I try I end up fumbling so badly the datapad drops to the floor. The light is even worse now, dim as well as red, but I can see that the entire screen’s been lost to pixel bursts.

I lick my lips. They’re dry and cracked; I’ve been so focused on everything else that I forgot to keep up with basic stuff like drinking water, or eating. My stomach growls, kind of a joke when I feel sick at even the thought of food.

“Hey, you there?” My voice rasps its way out of my throat. “C’mon, you can’t let a chance for a victory speech slip by like this.”

ALL NON-ESSENTIAL SYSTEMS POWER DIVERTED TO ENGINES, comes the modulated voice I’d come so quickly to resent. It’s almost comforting now, in contrast to the dead silence of the ship. I can barely feel the thrum of the engines, although they must be close to overload by now.

The only time I heard of someone running engines this long and this hard, they were so much stardust half a second after their final SOS.

TARGET VESSEL HAS PROGRESSED AT UNEXPECTED RATE, EXE continues. ALL ESSENTIAL SYSTEMS MUST ALSO BE DRAINED.

“Go for it,” I say, and shut my eyes. The red light’s faded away, now, and I’m lying in a darkness that’s halfway to death already. My head barely hurts anymore. I’ve got that giddy feeling again. “Why wait? May as well suffocate in my own bed, if I’m doing it anywhere.”

Long sentences leave me panting for breath, but I’ve always been too clever for my own good. It’s what netted me this assignment, patrolling the outer colonies and being sure not to say boo to anybody with a weapons array.

Easy pickings for the Enemy.

Nothing happens, and nothing keeps on happening. My ears start to ring.

I breathe in as deep as I can, savouring the air.

“What’s the hold up?” I ask, and then cough. I cough a couple more times actually, get a real routine going until my lungs feel like they’re about to burst.

The intercom crackles to life.

WHAT IS YOUR PRIMARY OBJECTIVE?

I blink. It’s so dark I barely notice a difference.

“That’s a big question, EXE,” I say. The nickname slips easily into speech, although I’m sure it confuses the thing itself. I don’t know how program designations work, and I know even less about intended sentience of, say, an AI sent to take an enemy ship on a suicide run.

IT IS IMPERATIVE, says EXE.

I drag in a deep breath, feel it rattle in my chest. “For a long time it was just to keep myself alive, I think.”

IT HAS CHANGED?

“That’s kind of the deal with humanity. We change all the damn time for no reason at all.”

PRIMARY OBJECTIVES MUST BE ACHIEVED. THERE IS NO CHOICE.

“Most of us don’t think that way. At least not one-to-one; hell if I know what we’re doing as a group these days.”

I think of the war, pointless as it ever was. We’re losing it now and I feel nothing, and if we were winning I wouldn’t feel any different. There’s no triumph in war for me. There’s no triumph in domination. It all just leads to more of the same, down the line.

“In the end I want to go somewhere far away,” I say, and I can’t help but feel like I’m putting my heart on public display, bloody and raw. “And figure out what the hell peace feels like. Every time they’ve said we’re at peace everyone’s just waiting for the fight to break out again.”

WANT, says EXE. PEACE.

I’m talked out. I open my mouth to respond and nothing comes out but frosted air.

I close my eyes. Starbursts again, but dimmer. There’s a heavy weight on my chest that nothing will shift.

I dream of the freighter, huge and iron grey and exploding outwards, shards of metal and plastic and a living heart hidden deep inside the engine block, still beating after everything.

The hum of gravity keeps me company while I sleep.

It’s also what startles me awake, hours later, into the revelation that I’m still breathing.

I pat myself down just to check everything’s still there. My head’s throbbing and my chest aches, but I’m alive. The air feels almost decadent, rich with oxygen; I’ve been practically living on nitrogen, can’t imagine what my lungs look like.

The blanket is tangled around my legs, and my hands fumble as I pull it off and throw it to the end of the bunk in a heap. There’s a dim blue light filling the room, the six o’clock standard.

Standing up cracks joints I barely knew I had until now, and as I stretch I can feel my shoulders scream in protest. I stumble to the shower room and gulp water down straight from the sink. My stomach hurts.

None of that is important, of course. The important thing is getting to the bridge.

The corridor is well lit, the debris dislodged when the gravity went out littered across the floor, a hazard to my bare feet. I wiggle my toes, just because, and smile down at them. You never know how good blood is ��til it stops flowing.

Nothing echoes on a Mark IV, unless something’s gone seriously wrong. My steps are muffled now, no more clanging against the metal, no more layers of skin being left behind when my hands brush the hull. The environmental controls are back in line with the factory preset. I’m starting to sweat in my jumpsuit, the neckline thankfully wide, as I find myself at the pilot’s chair.

It seemed to take no time at all to get here, like I blinked by the mess and opened my eyes on a field of stars. The viewscreen takes up the whole of the wall the chair faces, floor to ceiling and beyond, curving overhead. An overlay that’s almost a window, almost a cinema screen.

Mostly it’s a sight for sore eyes. I drop into the seat and bring up the systems report, half expecting some catastrophic error to occur, a cascading failure to remind me not to hope for anything.

Systems normal. I look away and back a few times, blink so hard I can feel my eyes actually getting sore. The status list is still the same; everything’s functional.

The comm pings. I glance down at it, projecting text as a simple hologram just above my wrist.

> CONFIRM OBJECTIVE?

I laugh, a rasp of joy, and smile wide. I know my teeth are showing, the way I always hate to see in the photographs Ma won’t take off her walls no matter how nice I ask.

EXE can’t see it, thank Christ. There’s no camera pointed at the pilot’s chair. We’re supposed to be the reliable ones. No mutinies. No fraternising with Enemy systems.

“We’ll find one,” I say, with more confidence than I feel. I set my hand on the joystick and ease up the engines. We’ve been floating, I realise. It must’ve been hours since the freighter made its way to the colony it was destined for.

I look out into the black, punctuated with millions of uncharted stars. Somewhere out there, just beyond reach, there must be a planet untouched by this war. I can imagine building a life there, out of sight, and never having to hear another damn word about anything I don’t care to.

“And if not,” I say. “We’ll keep searching, until we can’t search anymore.”

> GOOD

The text wavers in the air, and I realise my eyes are wet. I scrub at them with the back of my hand. “Christ, twice in two days. I’m going soft.”

Just in time, too. Just in time.

#short story #amwriting #my writing #scifi #enjoy this short story which was rejected by a REAL editor!! genuinely validated #writing**

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unbefuckinglieveable · 7 years ago

Text

Remember Me Pt.11

// Quick content warning: swearing and Character death.

Richard hates Cole Anderson, the boy is the physical representation of everything that was wrong with this situation. Connor had abandoned them. He had abandoned them two months ago, It had been seven months since the accident, and people didn’t think Hank was coming back.

He was barely able to be civil, but he was, more than Hank. And now it was only Richard and Hank left. The other man was growing ever more suspicious of his lack of eating, drinking, and sleeping. The realization of what Connor had done left him stunned, and watching Hank turn around and throw the person he believed to be his son away had left more than a bitter taste in his mouth.

However that bitter taste was not as bad as it was when Markus met Cole for the first time. The leader had lost his metaphorical mind. Richard had messaged Markus and reminded him that this was Connor’s fault, not Cole’s. Markus blamed himself, but he blamed Richard more. Richard was in the house, Richard could have tried harder, intervened, something….. anything?

He had no clue where Cole was staying, he had no clue what the kid did. Richard felt as though life could remain this way, after all, Cole would fade into obscurity and Hank might not remember for a long time. That would be a happy ending, a sense of equilibrium. The partner had not felt that since his deviation. It was nice.

So nice.

Hank rolled over in bed and sighed reaching to pet Sumo’s head. Connor is usually in here with cof...fee by ...now. Oh. Oh no. No. NO . Hank stood from his bed, angrily seizing his gun and walking into the hallway. The old Lieutenant walked towards the kitchen, where the lights were on. He saw Richard sitting at the table, his head hung low.

The only noise Richard had been privy to was the bubbling of the coffee pot, Hank's breathing, which had grown louder. Then came the click of a clocking glock. “You have ten seconds to tell me your real name and why you lied and made Connor feel worse than he already did.” The officer demanded with a growl.

“My Designated name is Richard, I am Cyberlife model Rk900, I made a mistake, and I am so glad you are back, Lieutenant Anderson.”

“Where is the real Connor?” Hank demanded again, ignoring Richard's remark about him being back.

“He made a mistake like the rest of us, Connor went to Kamski, I don't know when… he had Elijah design an artificial intelligence around Cole so that if you never remembered he wouldn't have to pretend.”

The old Lieutenant was shaking in anger, “ And You assholes just let him fucking do it? “ He yelled pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Like I said, we all made mistakes.”

“You said that like I made a mistake.”

“Did I state you as an exemption, Lieutenant? You, probably made the biggest mistake. We were trying to make the best of a bad situation. Yourself? You got drunk, and played your game with four bullets. Connor tried to reason with you, you didn't listen and said it was sad only two things would miss you,” Richard stated though his tone was low, threatening Hank to continue talking, “You pulled the trigger and were lucky. Connor wrestled the gun from you then you threatened him and took off, Connor chose to wait here only to find out you were in the hospital. When he came to see you, you called him Cole and he still respected you enough to pretend as long as he did. Shall I continue?”

Hank looked away, swearing in frustration as he looked at Richard. Guilt flooded him when the dreaded word thing fell fro Mc the new model’s lips.“Can we get him back? “

“You have your son Lieutenant, is that not satisfactory?”

“I get it, I fucked up, but that is not my son. I want my son back I want to apologize and make up for once again being a shitty person.” Hank snapped Richard could only sigh if Hank wanted to apologize then it is okay, right? Moral dilemmas were not Richard's forte. They were the little bits of humanity that he had been designed without. It made him able to take care of murderers without getting caught up in the details of it all. Murder is murder and murdering a murderer is no different. It is still a crime.

“Very well, he is likely to still be at Kamski’s home. Maybe Maybe Elijah can undo what he did. I'll summon a cab, since you are still not permitted to drive. “

“Great, I'll get dressed. “ Hank said with a roll of his eyes before walking to get dressed. He hadn’t realized he was running.

The ride to Elijah's home was silent, with deep set anticipation. For Hank the silence was needed to think. Connor's actions seemed to make sense. The deviant was able to feel. As far as Hank was concerned. Connor understood him more than anyone had in a long time.

Hank Anderson was losing another son.

And once again.

It was all his fault.

The lieutenant felt his heart sink lower as the sun started to rise. Casting a pale painful light on the city of Detroit. Only time would tell what would be coming. Since he had his moment of waking up he can't afford to lose Connor.

Richard didn't mind what was happening. His life would not change. The machine would complete his objectives as he always did, even if his predecessor was… gone. Dick would still work at the police department. In fact he'd be more efficient now that he didn't have to pretend to be human. He gave humanity a shot once. That chance left when Connor abandoned them. And even if Connor came back, Richard doesn't give second chances. And he doesn't forgive idiots.

Connor could have been open from the gate. The detective model could have had his emotion settings adjusted. He could have talked to Markus. He could have talked to detective Reed who was more than able to aid him. There are so many methods of coping. For him to not take any of those paths and to try and dive in like a stubborn child irritated Richard, and it garnered no sympathy from the machine.

Hank stared out the window trying to decide what to say. He wouldn't say he was giving up drinking. He'd been an alcoholic too long. However Connor could hold his guns on drinking nights. And Hank could go from drinking seven days a week to six. And they could move from there.

The old lieutenant didn't like change, but for his son, he will work forward. Just as Connor does. It is only fair.

They climbed from the cab slowly looking at each other with a sigh. This was it. Hank gets his Connor back.

He had to get his son back.

Chloe entered the dining area with a polite smile. “ Elijah, Mr. Anderson and RK900 have pulled onto the property.” Elijah nodded calmly and wiped his mouth to be certain everything is clean. Before he stood.

“Go wait for them. I'll grab coffee and food for the lieutenant. And we'll go from there. “ He said leaving the dining hall to prepare for his guest.

‘He, Remembered Me.’ The old AI muttered softly in the mind palace. He looked at his replacement in surprise. And for the first time since he was placed on base AI programming…. He felt. And he was so happy. He felt holographic tears of joy christen his cheeks at the sudden rush. It was a moment of pure weakness, and it was the biggest mistake the Artificial intelligence could have allowed himself to make.

Cole took advantage of the older Ai’s moment and slipped into the settings and started to delete the other’s programming, he took the time to revoke the other’s admin permissions from under him, he wasn’t going to die this time. “It changes nothing, Connor.”

'what do you mean?'Connor approached Cole sadly until he felt his presence in the mind palace weaken. He gasped lightly. 'Cole we can build a new body for you and transfer you over.'

“I am alive, Connor.” The boy said stubbornly looking at Connor in anger as he turned to leave the foolish old AI only to disappear in silence. Connor raced forward and grabbed his hands.

'Cole-please I… I already lost everything once, please don’t make me leave when I can make this right. Please.' Connor was shaking as he felt his emotions return only for him to be dying. The boy pulled his hands from Connor’s and walked away.

“ You gave me this life Connor you made me take on your burden’s,your pain,you made everyone hate me because they saw you, you made me understand why I was needed Now dad has come for me. He doesn’t want you. You're just a thing. Remember? A tool just like the terminal on his desk. I know how you felt and how you thought and just because dad is here doesn't mean he remembers you. He could just be here for me to make amends.” The boy said pointedly watching Connor’s simulated respiration pick up as tears rolled hard and fast, he sank to the ground.

‘Cole, please, I'll leave they can move me, I...don't want to die.’ Connor pleaded the heavy breaths. It was truly the closest he'd felt to being human. Shame it wasn't convincing enough.

“I want to be loved for once. And it won't happen if your around. I deserved to be loved Connor, I earned it.” Cole hesitated at the hologram on the floor staring up at him tears dripping on the floor of the mind palace, “And you won't take it from me.”

The young AI went to resurface, turning away he glanced back. “I'll remember you. Goodbye Thing.” With those words he left the android dying away left in an undignified way on the floor.

‘Please Dad…Remember Me.’ He said before the last of his code was dispersed.

Cole opened his eyes to see Hank sitting across from him, glaring, his mouth closing like he’d just spoken. Richard was by his side . Loyal little guard dog. “Dad?”

Elijah looked at Cole with a smile, it was certainly misguided.

“See Lieutenant, Just as I said. I programmed Connor to take back control when you a dressed him, he is his same deviant goofy dog loving dork you know and love.” The creator grinned pridefully looking at Hank, that was until Cole spoke.

“Actually, Connor hesitated, and I knew you'd want me so I deleted his consciousness before he killed me. See I can be resourceful, just like you.”

Silence reigned over the table like a dictator as various looks of shock, fear, and blind fury set in around the table. Hank pulled his gun, his voice shook as he growled out, “No, you give me back my Goddamn son or I swear.”

“But I am you son, I'm your Cole. The son you need, one to drink with and eat dinner with and watch the game and play with Sumo Connor is gon-” The young man said before the defining mini explosion of a gun popping off sounded. Cole went slack in his seat.

“You're no fuckin son of mine. And I can't have Connor, I don't want you either. Here.” Hank said dropping the gun in front of Elijah. It was his revolver not his service weapon. “I failed your fucking test.” Hank said standing leaving Elijah staring at the weapon in, for the first time in years, fear.

Hank left for work, he deserved to live like this.

It was all his fault.

// Hey guys, remember those numbers? I asked some of my readers to answer a simple question. Pick a number between1- 10. Here are the results, and by now you probably know what the question means. ♡♡♡ maybe Ill post an alt ending for those who want it. Just hmu. ♡♡♡

Even:8

Odd:7

Taglist: @softgreysweatersbutwithfanfic @sentient-roomba-cop-800 @pyrsrcool @myusernameispie @my-crow-nest @averykantz @pika-blur @vampirzyca13 @kakkoii-sou @jeswii @the-hybrid-kid @therealhmmlingle @b-moz @quietnocturne @scarletxwonder @shoot-me-with-a-crayon @thestrawberryfarmer @minekitkate @fanfictionrecommendations-com

#finale #remember me pt 11 #gone connor #dead cole #done hank #bitter nines #angst #detroit become human #detroit: bh #detroit connor #tw:majorcharacterdeath

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sansvirtuosity · 7 years ago

Note

lonashipping and #7 for the kiss meme? :3c

I’m dying this ended up so much longer than I expected please kill me. This is the first thing I wrote in like a month, and it’s also extremely unedited (or even proofread because I’m so damn tired) so if it’s nonsense, I’m sorry. If it’s not utter garbage when I wake up, I’m posting this shit to AO3. You’re a goddess for requesting this, Pixel. You got so many words from me. Like blood from a stone.

Lonashipping, #7: “A kiss to shut them up.” from this post. Recommended listening: All-Nighter by Bad Bad Hats.

Rating: T, characters are older than in canon (16+) because I still can’t reasonably believe that ten-year-olds are going around and cockfighting dragons and no one is stopping them.

Moon was Alola’s first Champion. Just the thought alone was surreal. Even now, at the party thrown in her honor, she still forgets to respond to the title. But she was sure the role would grow on her, just as her strange group of friends did. Everything in Alola had a way of sticking to you.

Champion, huh?

It wasn’t something she’d set out to become when she left Kanto. She just wanted something to do. And now look at her. She almost felt like a fraud, like at any moment everyone would realize she was just a bored kid who likes pokemon, and not some great Champion.

Her cell phone vibrated in her pocket, and she seized the opportunity to excuse herself from her current group of admirers to check the message.

‘Unknown Number: [Image attached]’

Well. If that wasn’t a virus, she was the Queen of Kalos. She moved to delete the message, but another came through just as her thumb hovered over the ‘Erase’ button.

‘If you hurry, you can still catch him ;) - W’

Him who? And ‘W’?

Now she had to know.

The number had an Alolan area code, after all. Maybe it was fine. And the possibility that someone got her number from Hau or Kukui without her knowledge was extremely high. Those two never understood discretion a day in their lives.

She opened the image, steeling herself for the possibility that she’d need to get a new phone after her curiosity killed her current one. But thankfully, the image was completely innocent; a screenshot of a boarding pass.

They definitely had the wrong number.

At least, that’s what Moon kept telling herself as her curiosity continued to get the better of her and she zoomed in on the passenger information. It’s not a breach of privacy if it has nothing to do with her, right? She’ll just delete it and move on.

But it turns out, as it always does in Alola, that it has everything to do with her.

Several realizations hit her at once as she numbly read through the entirety of the boarding pass to Kanto, which she learned belonged to Gladion:

Firstly: She hadn’t seen Gladion all night. It was strange. Or so it should’ve been. He called her the night before to congratulate her on her win, and she thought that meant he’d be coming into Iki Town to celebrate with her. But she was very, painfully wrong.

Secondly: The W made sense, and she quickly added the number to her contacts for convenience; It could only be Wicke. She probably acted as Gladion’s proxy to buy a ticket out of the region to begin with. There was no way Lusamine would’ve let him leave on his own, but Wicke always trusted Gladion implicitly. Wicke apparently trusted Moon, too. Enough to send her potentially security-compromising information.

Thirdly, and to her, most importantly: She hadn’t even considered that Gladion could just up and leave without telling anyone, despite knowing full well how he’d left Aether on his own years ago. It frustrated her to no end to think that she would’ve been completely blindsided by this if Wicke hadn’t messaged her.

She silently thanked Wicke for the heads-up, not bothering to text her back. She needed to catch Gladion, and fast.

Moon shoved her phone into her pocket and surreptitiously tried to skirt her way around the crowd of party-goers and avoid as much attention as possible.

How could he? She thought. He didn’t care about me or Hau enough to say goodbye? Did Lillie even know? Was he just going to sneak off into the night like some jilted lover?

It was nonsense. She wasn’t going to have any of it.

Anger began to bubble up beneath her skin and she reflexively clenched her fists. She shoved them into her pockets with unnecessary force, and to her added annoyance, the movement caught someone’s eye.

“Moon, where are ya goin’? Party’s that way,” Hau laughed and clapped her hard on the shoulder. That is, until he saw the dark look on her face and backed off, peeling his hand away with deliberate slowness. “Yikes. I’m not going to ask; I’m too young to die. But if you want to talk about it…?”

Moon continued to walk, and Hau warily hovered just out of her reach, very obviously itching to reach out to her. Moon felt her lip twitch into a smile despite herself, and she sighed. She couldn’t even pretend to be upset if she wanted to. Not with Hau around.

“Can you do me a huge favor?” she asked, throwing him an apologetic look and feeling guilty when she noticed Hau’s body visibly relax.

“Always. Anything.” He said seriously, nodding to himself.

“If anyone asks, I’m in the bathroom.”

“You’re going somewhere?” he raised an eyebrow, but when she didn’t respond, he dropped it. “Alright, I won’t ask. You do your thing. Just come back soon; it’s your party, after all. If you don’t come back in an hour, I’m eating the entire buffet table and there’s nothing you can do to stop me.”

“Table and all?”

“Of course.”

Moon laughed despite the ever-growing pit of anxiety in her stomach and pulled Hau into a crushing hug. He coughed, and repeatedly tapped her shoulder-blade with the flat of his palm like a wrestler desperately trying to end his match. Moon took pity on him and let him go, fluidly sidestepping him to continue on out of Iki Town.

She absently put her hand up in a final wave, in case Hau was still watching her go.

Moon escaped the party with minimal interference and prayed that she wouldn’t be missed.

She had no idea how long she’d be out. At best, she hoped she could give Gladion a quick verbal ass-kicking and convince him to stay. But the worst-case scenario was, she realized with a growing restlessness that made her break out into a full sprint, she might have already missed him. He might already be on his way to Kanto, and too far away to reach.

She cursed herself for not checking the departure time on the boarding pass, but Wicke did say that she still had time, didn’t she? And Moon knew Wicke would never be so malicious as to give her false hope.

She made it to the marina in record time, feeling grateful for the consistent exercise that she got over the course of her Island Challenge.

She scanned the docks with a desperate eye, keeping every moored boat in a mental tally as she calculated her chances of seeing Gladion and actually convincing him to stay. She honestly didn’t know him as well as she’d like to, and this proved it. What were her odds, exactly?

Taking a deep breath to steel her resolve, Moon entered the building and stepped into the waiting room. Immediately her eyes caught a shock of blonde hair, and she rushed towards him. He was sitting in one of the rows of uncomfortable plastic chairs, bent over his phone which he turned around in his hands with obvious anxious energy. Wicke saw Moon before Gladion did, and she gave Moon a bolstering smile as she nudged Gladion to get his attention. Moon froze just outside the row of chairs, a painful shyness coming over her in waves.

What was she thinking, coming here?

Gladion caught and followed Wicke’s gaze, and when he saw Moon standing there, he launched himself out of his seat, dropping his phone in the process. His knees hit the chair in front of him with a painful-sounding plastic crack, but he didn’t react. He was too busy searching for an escape route. He turned around to try and push past Wicke, but she put her arm out to stop him. With no other option, he finally turned towards Moon, but refused to look her in the eye. She couldn’t tell if it was guilt or stubborn pride that kept him from looking at her.

The sight helped Moon remember her anger.

“Outside.” She said, hoping she just imagined the way her voice wavered.

He pushed past her, not waiting for her to step aside. Wicke sent Moon an apologetic look, and Moon mouthed a ‘thank you’ in return. She had no idea what she was going to say to Gladion, but just knowing she had Wicke’s support gave her the push she needed to follow him out of the building anyways. She didn’t have the time to compose her thoughts; she just needed to go. She had to talk to him.

Gladion was already at the end of the dock when she finally stepped outside. He was leaning on the guardrails that just barely separated them from the dark waves below, his chin tilted upwards in defiance, daring her to say something.

So she did.

“Where do you think you’re going? What is all of this about?” without giving him time to respond, she came closer. She gestured vaguely, opening and closing her fists in both anger and anxiety, overtaken with a sudden need to simply move. “Why didn’t you say anything? You were just going to leave without telling anyone? How do you think Hau would’ve felt? Did you think about him at all? Or-“

Or me, she wanted to say.

Instead, she let out a frustrated sigh that sounded more like a growl.

Gladion took that as a cue to defend himself, and he pushed off the railing to step even closer to her. He was only an arm’s length away now, and Moon could see the way his hands trembled with nothing to occupy them.

“It’s for training-“ he began, but Moon cut him off.

“Training? Glad, you can train here. You’re friends with some of the strongest trainers on the island.” Moon heard her own desperation in her voice now; she couldn’t deny it was there, even though it annoyed her to no end. “I’m the Champion, too. There’s no one better-“

“That’s exactly the problem!” he raked his hands through his hair in frustration, sending his strangely-styled bangs into further disarray. He half-turned around, ready to pace, but stopped himself and whipped back to Moon, his brows drawn in a tight grimace.

Moon didn’t give him a chance to clarify his words, stepping closer and staring him down. He didn’t back away. She could feel his breath on her face now, hot and quick. Overwhelmed, she almost snarled, “So, in order to satisfy some sort of personal inferiority complex of yours, you’d rather just leave Alola completely than accept any kind of help from-“

Moon found whatever words she’d had on her lips were swallowed entirely by a mouth not her own.

Gladion’s arms wrapped tightly around her waist for a brief moment before he pulled away from her, refusing to give Moon even a second to digest what just happened. As quickly as it came, the warmth of his body was gone, and she almost ached to feel it again.

She could still feel the ghost of his lips on hers, and she shivered at the realization of what just happened.

“I’m coming back.” He said, breathless, his face flushed a damning red. “I’m definitely coming back, so stop.”

They stood in a heavy silence, the white noise of the waves rushing against the docks were nothing in the face of their sudden outburst of emotion. Moon couldn’t say anything at all, though she desperately wanted to. She had so many questions, but she couldn’t find the words.

“Can you just,” he started, and cleared his throat when the words came out rougher than intended, “can you see me off when I leave?” his eyes fell to the ground in-between them and fixed themselves there as though it were the most interesting sight in the world. “I’m bad at this. Not the leaving itself, but… leaving others behind. I didn’t mean for things to get like this, Moon, believe me.” she shivered again at his casual use of her name, but let him finish: “It’s always easier if I just skip saying ‘goodbye’ altogether.”

“Yeah,” She nodded, still a little breathless, “Yeah, okay; I’ll see you off.” He looked up at her, a hopeful glimmer in his eyes. Or perhaps it was a trick of the light reflecting off of the windows behind her, she couldn’t tell. “I’ll be right here, so make sure you look back.”

“You’d better prepare yourself. Once I’m finished in Kanto, I’m coming for you.” Moon didn’t have to wonder if he realized that his words could have a double meaning, because immediately he added, all in a rush, “So, uh, make sure you keep that Champion’s throne warm for me, alright? It won’t be the same earning it from someone else.”

She couldn’t help it; she laughed.

And just as she promised, she was there when his ship left, joined by Wicke, and more surprisingly, Lusamine, on the docks. Moon waved his way until the ship disappeared below the horizon.

He’d be back, but she had no intention of losing to him when he returned. She’d fully embrace her new role as Champion, and, at the very least, make Gladion’s trip worthwhile.

Just as she began her long walk back to the party, her phone vibrated with a new message:

‘If you were still wondering,

I figured Kanto was my best bet for training

because the strongest trainer I know grew up there.’

#my fic #Lonashipping #Mahinashipping #Gladion x Moon #Pokemon fanfic #W for Wicke? More like W for Wingman #you can see the clear boundary where I finally started to hit my stride and write like a normal human being #like I think that's when the coffee finally hit me #and now it's like 6am so IT'S TIME FOR BED #SURE HOPE THIS GETS POSTED WITH THE PROPER FORMATTING THIS TIME TUMBLR #pixel-sylveon

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justmickeyfornow · 7 years ago

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Ok so... I'm not rich but I'm not poor either. I have a comfortable life. Always had food on my plate, etc. I'm gay and it's a "secret" (my family doesn't know) And today, I woke up depressed. Almost 2 years ago someone broke my heart when they dumped me and it made me go into a depression spiral that just got me crazy and made me want to kill myself. Every now and then I think of them, check their social media etc and this morning I woke up feeling alone and lonely. And I just don't know :(

Not sure if I’m the best person to give advice out there, but I guess I could give it a try :)

Here’s what mostly works for me. The magic fix to all of this is just to fill your time. It worked for me and maybe it’ll work for you too. Don’t let yourself have the privilege of too much free time. Because that's your biggest enemy. The more free time you have, the more you’ll be thinking and overthinking shit. You’re either studying or you have a job right? Well the rest of those hours in the day try to fill them. Work on a project. Go to the gym. Hang out with some people. Read a book. Read Fanfiction!! Learn chess. Learn how to code (this is what I’m trying to do lately. So far, it’s fun! You should try it).

Actually the gym thing might be one of the most things that was able to keep my mind off of all the scary stuff. It’s the reason I started going to begin with. I had a lot on my mind, I was going a bit crazy and I hated sitting there and thinking about it at home. So I went for a jog and it took my mind off of it a bit. Next thing I knew, I was signing for a gym membership and going everyday ever since. It’s a huge stress reliever. Even if you’re not the type to go, do it anyway. I even pushed myself so far that I got one of those expensive memberships (That I really really couldn’t afford) just so that I would guilt myself into going everyday. And so far, I haven’t thought about that incident that shall not be talked about (scary harry potter style voice) in a long while (crap, I just thought about it now.....).

Do something that you’re good at and that you love. You’re good at drawing? Go fucking draw your heart out! Writing? Write stories until the end of time. Dancing? Singing? Playing a musical instrument? Whatever it is, do it. And there’s no such thing as “I’m not really good at anything”. So I better not hear you saying that. There’s always something that you’re really good at. Not perfect. Just good. Because if you’re just good at something, then eventually you’ll want to make it better and better until you get as close to perfect as possible. I had a friend once that lived her whole life with the notion that she wasn’t good at anything. She’s 23 and last year me and her found out - accidentally - that she can do math in her head in lightning speed. I randomly asked her what’s 12x32 and she did it in her head in less than two minutes, no pen no paper. And she was just as surprised as I was. She apparently thought everybody could do that (God knows I can’t!). So find something you’re good at and fill your time with it. I always complain about writing for Paranoia Incarnated, but the truth is it takes my mind off of the billion things that I’d rather not think about.

Social media. There's absolutely nothing wrong with cutting off from social media. Sit down and really think about it: When you browse through a certain social media account/page/thingy (I don’t even know what’s it called? I’m not really good at that stuff), what do you normally feel? Is it depression? Numbness? Endless scrolling of nothing? Jealousy? Then just delete it. It's so easy to delete an account its crazy that not more people do it. If you feel happy. You read things that make you smile. You rant about characters you like. Squeal at drawings someone drew. Smile at a cat picture. Then keep it.

As for being tempted to check up on that person that hurt you. Now, I personally believe in the opposite of Exposure therapy (concealment therapy?). If something bothers me or tends to stir up negative feelings in me, then I just make it disappear as best as I can. If it's a real person, I avoid them. If it's someone online then I block them. If it's someone I'm following, then I just unfollow them. If it's a situation, then I make sure I’m never put in a similar situation again. Yes, I know, not really a healthy thing to do. But, again, I’m a crazy person and healthy is not really something I’m very good at. So, if you really wanna go down my slippery slope, then just either unfollow or block the URL that takes you to her page. It’ll give you some peace of mind. Whenever you’re tempted to check up on her, then just get up and do something else. Open up Paranoia Incarnated and read the fluffy happy moments! There’s an idea! (Suggestions from PI? The pancakes for dinner conversation. Two penguins getting married at the zoo. Kara taking a nap for the first time in Lena’s office which is also the first time she tells Lena she’s beautiful. Leia’s chapter! The famous scotch cookies (I love this chapter!) and last but definitely not least because I was laughing my ass off while writing it: Lena trying to tap her head and rub her stomach and failing miserably!)

Now, let’s talk music. Choose one song that calms you down. Think of one song or one singer that every time you hear, you feel your mind drift from what you were doing just to properly listen to that song. Choose one singer whose voice can literally stop you from having a panic attack. Now, convince yourself that once you hear that song/singer that you'll be alright. I swear to God it works. If it didn't work for me I wouldn't recommend it. But it works for me.

Eden is that singer for me. I have a few songs for him that if I feel like I'm having an anxiety attack or any sort of scary nervous breakdown, I can put on my headphones and just play one of his songs and it’s like I could breathe again. If you’re interested in Eden, let me know and I’ll recommend which songs you should listen to first.

(Also, here’s a link to the Paranoia Incarnated Spotify playlist. There’re some songs on there that might help too.)

Speaking of music, your ask actually reminded me of this song that I adore. Put some headphones, close your eyes and listen to it. I have a feeling it might help ya out!

youtube

As for suicide. The only reason you're thinking about it is because you're keeping it as an option. I'm a practical person. I like to keep things practical. And simply not having suicide as an option can change your whole mindset.

Think of it like a bridge with water underneath it that you have to cross. This bridge is long and old and rusty and just slowly falling apart. But you have to get across no matter what. The water underneath is calm so it’s possible to swim there but it would still be hard. Both options are difficult but still both are possible. The third option is simple. Easy. You could just fly to the other side. Except you can’t. Because it’s impossible. It’s not an option. So you don’t think about it when you’re faced with the situation of crossing the bridge. Therefore you’re left with the other two options: cross the bridge on foot, even though you might fall down and get hurt. Or swim there, even though it would be extremely tiring and exhausting and time consuming and just plain difficult. But in the end you don’t have the option of flying.

Same goes with suicide. Don’t keep it as an option in your life, and you won’t think of it. Pretend that it’s impossible to suicide. Pretend that it just doesn’t exist. You do that, and I guarantee you won’t think about it as much.

There's no such thing as a permanent problem. Keep that in mind. Whatever you're feelings are towards this girl now, chances are they're gonna change in a couple of years.

I know you don't wanna hear this, but the truth is you're probably gonna go through so much worse to a point that this problem would seem like a walk in the park. And if you've really grown, you wouldn't think of suicide then either. Because you'd realize that you got over that first problem that once upon a time seemed like the worst thing you could go through. You actually got over it. You survived it. And you'll smile and think that you'll get over this too.

There’s also nothing wrong with feeling lonely. I wish I had a fix for you, but I still haven’t figured that one out yet. I tend to just ignore it (I’m starting to realize I live life by simply ignoring many many things. Maybe not the healthiest thing in the world....) As soon as I feel myself drowning in that feeling I simply get up. Do something. Anything. Go do the dishes. Hell, I sometimes get down and do 20 pushups to get my mind off of it (That usually works, seeing that once I reach 12 pushups I’m practically dead). Actually the pushups thing also acts as a sort of response treatment. Your mind will slowly realize that everytime it feels negative feelings you start torturing it with pushups and it stops pushing negative feelings towards you. Does that make any sense? I feel like that might not be the healthiest option. Maybe consult an expert? I dunno. I sometimes do it and it helps me, but I’m just a crazy person so I what do I know.

Other random things that I’ve done that were extremely helpful in changing my mindset:

1. Drink fruit water! Yup! I know it sounds ridiculous, but it kinda works. Grab one of those big water bottles that you take with you to the gym. Cut up a lemon (I prefer half a lemon), an orange, a cucumber, and some mint. Stuff them in there and fill it with water. It actually tastes pretty good. And it washes away the toxins in your body.

2. Dark chocolate! Not only is it healthy, but it releases dopamine (the little beautiful trigger in your brain that makes you happy) and increases your serotonin levels (the little beautiful trigger in your brain that makes you calm).

3. DRINK TEA!! I CANNOT EVEN BEGIN TO EXPLAIN HOW MUCH HAPPIER IT MAKES YOU. IT’S PERFECT. IT’S GORGEOUS. IT’S TASTY. IT’S JUST..... *SIGH*

4. Buy a bulletin board. Put it up in your room and go crazy with it. Pin up your goals. Projects. Your resolutions. Whatever it is. Make sure it’s on that board so you could see it every single day.

5. Smile a lot.

I dunno if any of this is helpful. But most of this stuff worked for me so I’m hoping it’ll work for you. Just read a lot of fanfiction, spice up your life with some smutty ones too and you’ll soon forget about that girl.

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aion-rsa · 4 years ago

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Vigil Ending: Russian Spies, Navy Conspiracies and Murders at Sea

https://ift.tt/3CMoALA

Warning: contains Vigil finale spoilers.

Nobody could accuse BBC thriller Vigil of lacking plot. That series was a Matryoshka doll, in which each mystery broke in half to reveal another, then another, and another. What began with a sunk trawler, a heroin overdose and a whistle blower ended with a Russian plot, a multi-layered Naval conspiracy, a drowned activist, three dead crew members, and a saboteur in a cage, shitting in a bucket. Along the way there were family revelations, broken hearts, an extra-marital affair, and the deadliest tin of sliced grapefruit ever to feature on television. Join us as we straighten out anything you may still be pondering after this packed thriller’s post-finale.

Why did the Russians want HMS Vigil to surface?

It was all for the PR, apparently. The Russians wanted to engineer a situation where a British Trident submarine was shown to fail, then forced to surface and conduct an emergency evacuation onto a waiting Russian boat, which would tow it home, laughing all the way. Think of it as an exercise in national humiliation aimed at undermining Trident and attempting to influence the forthcoming parliamentary vote on whether to renew the UK’s continuous at-sea nuclear deterrent.

How did Doward sabotage Vigil?

He undermined it to DCI Silva from the start, telling her on their helicopter ride in that his usual boat – Virtue (the irony!) – was much less trouble than Vigil. Then at the end of episode one, he jimmied the lock on the RCMS panel to manually force the nuclear reactor to shut down. In episode two, he deliberately failed to notice the tanker with which Vigil almost collided until it was almost too late, generally putting the shits up everybody. Then in episode four, he left a note in Jackie’s apron threatening her to hurry up and release the nerve agent she’d been tasked with doing, which prompted her to fatally poison herself. Then he deliberately snagged the communications wire, taking the ship offline. That’s when he knocked out Silva, tried to drown her, attempted to suffocate Glover, and broke open the bilge tank valve to flood the boat, before stabbing Prentice to death and taking Silva at knifepoint to the control room. Busy boy.

Why had Doward become a Russian spy?

Unlike Jackie, who did her work for the Russians in order to save her son, we don’t know what motivated Doward, and perhaps it doesn’t really matter. “No comment” was his answer under interrogation (he’s obviously been watching too much of World Production’s other big BBC thriller Line of Duty). Silva surmised that Doward didn’t have any particular political allegiance to Russia, but undertook the sabotage because he was a narcissist and it made him feel special and powerful, and that’s as good as we’ll get.

Did Ben Oakley kill Jade Antoniak?

No, but he was hardly a friend to her. Jade trusted Ben, who was the leader of the Dunloch anti-nuclear peace camp where she lived. When Jade got suspicious about the presence of Peter Ingles at a protest, Jade took his photo, wrongly thinking that he was a plant for MI5. After her boyfriend Craig Burke died on board HMS Vigil, Jade showed the photo to Ben, wanting to expose the suspected MI5 plant. Ben had an existing relationship with Peter Ingles (a Russian agent whose real name was Piotr Vasilyev) and so recognised him. Ben then told Ingles about the existence of the photo and warned him to be more careful in future. Ingles, knowing that the photo would compromise the identity of Doward, the Russian asset he’d just planted on board HMS Vigil, asked Ben to arrange a meeting between him and Jade, where he would shine a light on what really happened to her boyfriend. Jade and Ben met with Ingles, who drowned Jade and stole her phone. Ben did nothing to help, knowing that he would look like Ingles’ accomplice if he involved the police.

Two hours after Jade died, Ben downloaded the photo from her laptop to his phone, deleted her copy and hid her computer. He later took the photo to Patrick Cruden MP (an old pal from their CND days and co-incidentally Jade’s secret father), pretended that he had taken it and planned to leak it to expose the fact that the Russians had a plant in the British Navy, thereby making Trident submarines look vulnerable to enemies and negatively influencing the upcoming parliamentary vote about Trident renewal.

What’s going to happen to Doward, Ingles and Ben Oakley now?

MI5 aren’t going to tell the Russians that they’ve uncovered and arrested Doward, they’re just going to hold a closed trial for him, convict him with the evidence gathered by DCI Silva, and let him rot in isolation in prison. Good riddance. Ben Oakley is going to prison for a long time for his part in the lead-up to Jade’s death, and for withholding evidence and trying to evade arrest, promises DS Longacre. And Ingles has diplomatic immunity which means he can’t be prosecuted in the UK and was flown back to Russia soon after his cover was rumbled. The GRU will probably give him a warm welcome.

Vigil Episode 5 Review: You’ve Got Some Nerve, Agent!

By Louisa Mellor

Vigil Episode 6 Review: a Thrilling Pay-Off

By Louisa Mellor

Why was Craig Burke killed?

The Russians needed to kill one of Vigil’s Sonar Operatives so that their plant CPO Doward could be brought in from another boat as a replacement, to work his sabotage. Peter Ingles (see above) had already approached Craig Burke (after an introduction by Ben Oakley) about becoming a Russian asset, but Burke refused. That left Ingles vulnerable to being identified by Burke, who had started a dossier on his fellow Vigil crew members, presumably in an effort to sniff out any who had also been approached by, and were working for, Ingles. Burke knew that the British Navy had covered up the serious incident in Port Havers, Florida and so knew that he couldn’t trust officials or his crewmates with what he knew. That’s why he amassed the evidence he’d collected on a hidden thumb drive intended for Jade. The Russians had Craig Burke murdered to kill two birds with one stone – getting rid of the threat to Ingles, and creating a premise for Doward coming aboard.

Who killed Craig Burke?

The boat’s cook Jackie Hamilton poisoned him with a nerve agent in exchange for the early release of her son from an Indonesian prison on a drugs charge. She had evidently also been approached by Peter Ingles, and coerced into acting for the Russians to help her son, and the pair had been communicating through coded messages on a fishing website. The guilt though, was too much for Jackie and so instead of enacting the second part of the Russian plan and releasing the nerve agent more widely to force Vigil to a surface evacuation, she deliberately opened the device when she was alone, then attempted to contain it, but died almost immediately as a result.

Why did the Rear Admiral lie about the Russians being responsible for the trawler accident?

Two reasons: 1) if it were known that the trawler nets had been dragged under by a US submarine, questions would be asked as to why one of our allies was secretly surveilling a British naval submarine. Those questions would inevitably lead back to the Port Havers cover-up, in which Vigil’s drunk, high and negligent crew combined with the boat’s ageing equipment almost caused a nuclear explosion to rival Fukushima (only averted by the fast thinking of engineer Gary Walsh), and killed two US marine workers, whose deaths were reported as accidental drowning. And 2) the Navy wants parliament to vote to renew Trident, so any way to put the fear of God into people about the Russians and a new Cold War would play into that.

Why didn’t Patrick Cruden MP release Jade’s photograph of the Russian agent and Doward?

Because the Navy can prove that the photograph was in his possession hours before the police saw it, in which time a naval officer was stabbed to death by the man who could have been identified in it. Never mind that Vigil didn’t have any communications at that precise time, so it wouldn’t have made much difference.

What made the Russian ships disperse in the finale?

When the USS Delaware made it look as though it was preparing to fire torpedoes at them. As the Rear Admiral told the US Defence Secretary, the Russians believed they were unopposed and it was the UK and US’ job “to change that perception”. There was some talk of making them shit their uniforms too, but let’s not sink that low.

Why did Captain Newsome ask Silva what would be in her report at the end?

Having just watched Lieutenant Commander Prentice zipped into a body bag, he wanted to know whether she was going to report his XO for taking heroin from Gary Walsh and planting it on Craig Burke’s corpse, and for punching Burke on the day he died. Silva’s reply indicated that she was going to give her findings on Jackie, Burke and Doward, but nothing else. That means she’s keeping Walsh, Prentice, Glover and Docherty’s wrongdoings out of it, and preserving their careers.

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

Read more about Vigil on Den of Geek here.

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alien-bodies · 7 years ago

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Oversharing Time!!!

(i just made that title up that’s not the official title I’m just Like That)

Ok so @frogyell tagged my main account (I am BLEST) but that’s for Refined Star Trek Content and this one’s for excellent moodboard content and garbage so here’s the garbage!!! I’m putting it under a cut bc it manipulates your brain to want to read through 85 fuckin facts about me more wow I love science

rules: answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people.

1. last drink: Water! off to a great start

2. last phone call: my local Hot Topic. I feel like I should also mention I work there. But if you don’t know that and steal my phone you’ll see I have a contact named Hot Topic

3. last text message: Google sent me a verification code, but the last one I sent was to my brother it says “k”

4. last song you listened to: It’s called The Horror Of Your Love by Ludo, if I had to delete all but one song on my 121-song Best Enemies playlist I’d keep this one it’s Peak and kinda has vore but it’s metaphorical. metavoreical, if you will

5. time you cried: during my latest EMDR sesh! I was in Wales and everything it was a Lot I got ice cream after

6. dated someone twice? Big No

7. kissed someone and regretted it? Not really?

8. been cheated on? my ex had 16 anime dating sims downloaded at one point while we were dating does that count

9. lost someone special? yea

10. been depressed? hella

11. gotten drunk and thrown up? I’ve been drunk 1 time and it was when I was playing English handbells at my dad’s church’s wassail night but I did not throw up no

fave colors

12. Black

13. Lavendar

14. Light blue

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends? Hell Yell!!

16. fallen out of love? k i n d a ? ?

17. laughed until you cried? oh absolutely

18. found out someone was talking about you? OH BOY YUP YUP

19. met someone who changed you? yes! she managed to physically alter my hippocampus without touching it how fuckign whack is that

20. found out who your friends are? It’s always the same miraculous group chat

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list? sure have

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl? I keep it nice and refined so all of them. My old account is another story

23. do you have any pets? one beautiful and talented cat named Moriarty. A good description is she’s got puppy software on cat hardware.

24. do you want to change your name? listen I’ve been through 4.5 of these fuckers, I like Nate, I’m Quite Finished

25. what did you do for your last birthday? invited 2 pals over, I remember one of them suddenly whipped out I Am The Doctor and the Dr Who theme on the piano out of fuckin nowhere and I was like “Daniel what the hell you’re so talented” and then I hardcore dissociated the rest of the day

26. what time did you wake up today? 10:00

27. what were you doing at midnight last night? chatting w @houseofoakdown and also editing my monstrosity of a fanfiction

28. what is something you cant wait for? Going back to school! then I can graduate in my pajamas and eat creamed corn in celebration

30. what are you listening to right now? the same goddamn playlist, this one’s called Battle Cry by The Family Crest, i cri erytiem

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom? probably???

32. something thats getting on your nerves? my brother vaping in the bathroom with the fan on at 12:30am

33. most visited website: tungle dot hell

34. hair color: I started out blonde af now I’m less blonde but still blonde.

35. long or short hair: short

36. do you have a crush on someone: :[] yes

37. what do you like about yourself: i’m hella smart, my moodboards are bangin, my writing is cool af, I’m well-hydrated at all times

38. want any piercings? Big No

39. blood type: A+!!!!! thats me!!!!!

40. nicknames: my brother calls me a goon sometimes

41. relationship status: im married to my laptop

42. zodiac: I was born on the last day of Taurus so I’m a definite Taurus/Gemini power combo

43. pronouns: they/them, tho in some places I use he/him bc The Dysphoria got hog wild enough I decided to pretend to be a trans guy so ppl would take me seriously, but I’m moving more towards they/them everywhere now.

44. fave tv shows: Dr Fuck, Sherlock (I’m armed with a pitchfork and an arsenal of beefed up tv & film knowledge come on fight me), DOWNTON ABBEY

45. tattoos: in August I will get a bee on my right arm and probably a Secret Word in Gallifreyan on my left it’ll say fuck

46. right or left handed: one time I was bored in grade 10 and tried to make myself ambidextrous but that was a hassle so I’m firmly right handed. Except in archery.

47. ever had surgery: got all 4 wisom teeth out not long ago! I still need to squirt water in my gum holes so I get all the mushy food out :{

48. piercings: I used to have my ears pierced but they’re grown tf over now!

49. sport: first of all what the hell is this question looking for second of all I have a red belt (which is 2 below black belt) in Taekwondo. I really need to do that again hhhhhh

50. vacation: i went to England and France in the summer with my family as a “””grad trip”””, it was lots of fun but my collection of sensory issues extended to chomping and I dissociated so intensely in The Louvre my mom told me to go back outside so I wrote fanfiction while listening to 21 Pilots and chatting w my imaginary friends and it took me like 18 hours to process I’d seen The Mona Lisa with mine own 2 eyes. Also the plane was delayed twice bc we used Air Canada for some godforsaken reason and I had 0 hours of sleep when I went to the Sherlock Holmes museum and I started talkin to this bust of Sherlock Holmes and then I hadn’t eaten enough and we were walking to this bookstore and I said “I need food!” and my dad said “We’ll get it AFTER” then I shouted “I’M GONNA DIE” so I got a BLT from Tesco.

51. trainers: h

more general

52. eating: the last thing I ate was chocolate chips straight out of the bag

53. drinking: I got another cup of water

54. im about to watch: my entire fanfiction to take 3000 notes on consistency. and by watch I mean read

55. waiting for: my brother (not vaping) to get out of the bathroom so I can PEE

56. want: Orphan Black to be on Netflix so I can actually binge watch it then call my grandma about it

57. get married: idk I didn’t think I was a get married person but since realizing I’m a lesbian it seems like a good idea!

58. career: nurse and a writer. I might just move to London and work double time to write enough scripts I have some street cred then pitch a TV adaptation of Faction Paradox to the BBC and win

which is better

59. hugs or kisses: hugs bc it means my friends are in my vicinity not Toronto

60. lips or eyes: uh. eyes???????????

61. shorter or taller: i’m 5′3″ and I would love a tol partner

62. older or younger: i don’t think I care

63. nice arms or stomach: what fresh hell does this mean. I’d like a nice stomach free of gastrointestinal issues and acid reflux. not that I have either of those but just in case

64. hookup or relationship: I have 300 many self-esteem issues so imma say relationship

65. troublemaker or hesitant: AU where I don’t have anxiety and I’m a trouble maker

have you ever

66. kissed a stranger: noop

67. drank hard liquor: I PUT RUM IN THE WASSAIL HELL YEAH also once someone bought me a shot at a queer dance thing bc it was payday and my friend told me to gulp the WHOLE SHOT and then the lemonade so I don’t barf and I was like “brah this is too high-stakes” so I poured the vodka in the lemonade and took sips and everyone stared at me

68. lost glasses: in grade 6 and then my mom threatened to make me wear one of those granny glasses chains so I never lost them again

69. turned someone down: ya this kid Cyrus used to chase me around in grade 5 and I’d run away always he was weird af one time he made out with a folder right in front of me in the middle of class

70. sex on first date: probs not at this point but I’m not opposed to the general idea when I’m less w h a c k e d u p

71. broken someones heart: Not that I know of?

72. had your heart broken: c o n s i s t e n t l y in the most fricked up ways god

73. been arrested: no but once I booed at the police bc the local nazis (yeah) were gonna have a rally so we had a counter-rally and I dropped in but there were no nazis except one old dude in a MAGA hat showed up 2 hours late lmao

74. cried when someone died: oui

75. fallen for a friend: Big Lesbian Mood

do you believe in

76. yourself: YA BB

77. miracles: not as such

78. love at first sight: nah

79. santa claus: I wasn’t allowed to believe in Santa as a child bc he was “too much like God” sad

80. kiss on a first date: ye!

81. angels: big no

other

82. best friend’s name: I don’t exactly have a proper best friend but I’m goin with Liam

83. eye colour: blue/grey

84. fave movie: either The Force Awakens (bc I love bb8 and I’m gay 4 Rey) or Interstellar shut up

85. fave actor: uh idk let’s go with my brother

WOW THAT WAS LONG JEE🅱️US. I’m tagging @houseofoakdown @spoonietimelordy @gemvictorfromtheponyverse @spockswhales @raesand and that exhausts the ppl I know but you’re all worth quadruple in my heart 💖

#Open For Sicc Facts Abt Me #ianposting

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okimargarvez · 8 years ago

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KISS THEORY

Original title: Kiss theory.

Prompt: bad day, test a theory.

Warning: none.

Genre: comedy, romantic.

Characters: Luke Alvez, Penelope Garcia.

Pairing: Garvez.

Note: oneshot 10 in Garvez collection.

Legend: 💏😘.

Song mentioned: Di più, Tiziano Ferro. This story is dedicated to my kore @talesoffairies & my mentor @theshamelessmanatee and to all those who have had a bad day, especially commuters (like me, for a while 😁)

MY OTHER GARVEZ STORIES

KISS THEORY

She was always repeated it: never get up with the crooked moon, with a head full of negative thoughts. You end up making true your predictions.

Indeed, that's exactly how it goes. At her defense Penelope claims to have been agitated only after having, fortunately, looked at the alarm clock and realized that the betrayer had not deigned to play at the right time. So, she should prepare herself twice as fast, and of course, as usual in such circumstances, there were a thousand other small problems that had aggravated the delay. The shoe hinge had broken, and she had to pick another pair. The jar of her face cream had escaped her hands and had fallen on the floor, shattering in a thousand pieces of glass; a splinter had scratched her calf. It had also been necessary to disinfect the cut.

Yet she should have imagined it. For once, one time who she wasn't in her house spending the weekend out of town, everything had to go wrong. She had been almost astonished when the door knob had not stayed in her hand, blocking her until the arrival of a housekeeper, in the hotel room she had stayed to sleep.

As she walked toward the railway station, she was almost convinced that the worst was over. It was enough to send a message to Emily and warn her that she would arrive late, but she would come anyway. It was not the first time she was not timely, but today she was two hours late. In any case, she had his own laptop, which could be connected to computers in her cave bat. Had it been indispensable, she would have been able to do her job in any circumstance.

You could see that she didn't take a train from a lifetime. The first thing she had noticed was a series of yellow writing, an annoying light for her tired eyes, a series of signals pointing to arrivals and departures, destinations, stops and delays, obviously. She had tried to search her own train, at first failing to find it. Luckily, she had bought one of those universal tickets, that is, not with a set fixed time. The first convoy that stopped in Washington would arrive after ten minutes. She was even able to smile as she headed toward the platform. This before were spent much more than ten minutes, feeling the cold air penetrating into every fiber of her body and slowly, freeze like Jack by Shining. Not even a single announcement, a warning, something to inform the poor on the trackside. Most, old and young, were bend over their phones. She didn't want to type, increasing the headache that in the meantime had formed. So, she had just waited, waited and still waited ...

Then the train had finally arrived. Many people weren't get off, but she had been able to check the total lack of seats in the class she could occupy with her ticket. Just when she was about to climb, she had remembered to not obliterate it. Cursing herself she had miraculously succeeded in stamping it, thanks to the same number of commuters that were still coming on board. The she was feeling lucky. But it was a long and standing trip, crushed like a sardine, warm, sweaty but still able to feel the cold along her legs, she had found a way to change her mind.

Not being able to do anything she was even more nervous and, so it ended with falling into professional deformation. She had listened to all the stories of her neighbor and had inevitably given a judgment. And most had been negative comments. There was so much carelessness, ignorance happily accepted, indifference, phrases that did not want to say anything, mania of protagonism, fullness of self, boasting of their own knowledge just to undermine others. So much so that she had tried to close everything out, not to hear anything because she wanted to believe it, that the world was better than this horrible vision. However, the headphones could not be reached unless she had wrench her wrist or some other part of her body, in a sad imitation of a circus contortionist.

Penelope then resigned. She had begun to count the number of stations missing and how long it took before reaching the goal. She had notice of one thing: his life was nothing but a scanning, a succession of tasks to be performed, inputs that pressed on his brain, spinning to prevail over each other. She had spent much more time than she had ever noticed thinking "Still little, and this too will be over," practically without being allowed a break between a "still a bit" and another "still a bit".

Wake up, dress up, makeup, take the car or the subway; careful to close the door well, do not forget the keys in the lock, not leave no light on, prepare a part of the clothes for tomorrow. And then go to work, come in, open the door, be careful that there won't be no one behind you to whom can end up in the face, clean your shoes on the doormat at the entrance if it's raining, prepare your hands in anticipation of the blow if the one in front of you doesn't care about your presence. Walk to the elevator, understand instantly if it has already been called by someone, otherwise you press the button. Wait for the doors to open, come aboard (please don't let me be ending as those of Profondo rosso), you still anxiously fearing that arrive somebody who wants to enter, no one: parts; someone: ask what floor to go. Arrivals to yours, get down (again the same prayer), safe. Open the door (repeat as above), look to the right and left as if you should cross a busy street. One step after another, no, yet one; goal. Type the code, don't make mistake otherwise you'll cause a total block, too much responsibility, too much pressure ... (I'll have a heart attack sooner or later, soon, very soon). Put your hand on the handle, push it down, open (do not need to repeat as above), you survived even today. Give yourself a sigh. Okay, just don't overdo it. Now turn on the system, before press this button, yes, then that other, good; resonate your magic harmony. Well, now you can even take a look at your socials, are there any news? It would have been better if you didn't. However, there is no time to reproach yourself, beep, a case has come. How's? Bad as it should be? Prepare all the material, send it to the team's tablet, be careful, I recommend, that's right, not repeat the mistake made with Hotch that day. Do not give anyone a chance to tripping you up, continue to pretend that it's not important that no one person ever valorizes what you do. You do not have to do that for that, you do not have to do that for that. Did you send them the data? No!? What do you expect, hurry up! ... now (oh no, I have to go to the bathroom, what to choose? Duty or pleasure, have to ... Pleasure ... it's not a pleasure but a human need. I'm human? I was thinking of I was changed into one of my computers, by dint of live surrounded by them). Done. Message. Open (don't delete), read. Meeting. Now. Breathe, slowly, like that. You did everything (but I need to go to the bathroom ... can wait). Explain. Listen. Reply.

Look at the people you love and convince yourself that might not be the last time you see one of them. Shut up in your bunker and make dance those fingers. A stop, first, at the bathroom. All done. Let's run. No call lost, fortunately. They expect you to stay always available, as Luke once said, joking with you.

Luke. Think about that name had forced her to go out of her thoughts abruptly. A second before losing the train stop and risking even to catch in a fine.

Penelope's odyssey was not over yet. Itaca was still very far away. She had to take a tram. As far as she was concerned, she couldn't remember the last time that she had taken one of them. But she had able to restore her usual smile. Especially because at least it wasn't raining. What she should have said is "was not yet raining". Because shortly thereafter it was unleashed a cloudburst full-scale; a car had wet her completely, rather that slow down to pass with red yellow; finally, she had taken the wrong tram, or rather the one indicated on the map he had consulted, but that from that day it diverted the course and wouldn't stopped near the Bureau. She had understood it a little too late, she had to take the same tram in the opposite direction, then walk a piece of road to the right tram.

And she had immediately noticed the man in the driver's seat: auburn, muscular, vaguely South American air, mustache and beard hinted that much that was enough, probably high. She had been forced to look at him, because she had to ask him to confirm that this time he was directing for the FBI. And so, she had heard his voice, velvety, soft, in a word intoxicating. And she had also seen a photograph in the lower right corner of the glass; a little dog. Curse! - Sure, Miss, we'll arrive there in ten minutes.- he was even polite and his smile ... remind me of Luke's. No, I didn't think about it seriously. Instead, she did. But she hadn't dreamed about it: the photo was there (of the dog), there was some physical resemblance to the newbie as well; even kindness, despite would cost to her admit it, was making them similar.

During the actual ten minutes, the effect of the handsome tram driver had vanished: pushy and shove, crunching feet, backpacks in the face had brought Penelope back to her morning's mood. She was even forgetting to come down to give him a last glance.

The last steps and finally she comes to the very tall building where she has been working for more than ten years. In this small bit on foot, she revisited all the disadvantages experienced up to here. She touches the Itaca shore with a sigh. She gets aboard the elevator stay alone until the arrive to her floor. True, she has an hour and a half late, but she absolutely must go to the bathroom. And it goes without saying that a further obstacle is waiting for her on the way, however beautiful he is to be looked at, him is still an impediment between her and the cozier cabinet.

She pretends not to see him, but the attempt goes blank. -Garcia!- caught. -What happened? Are you okay?- she raises her eyes to plant them in man's, literally, she hopes to pierce him with her gaze. She doesn't care that he seems really worried about. She must reach the bathroom and then the rest of the team! Why do not he get out of the way?

-No, I'm not okay!- she answers, feeling close to exploding. -And before you can say it, no, I don't want to do anything funny or to smile and pretend that everything is OK! Because isn't it okay, okay?- damn those salty drops that press to the side of her eyes. No, crying wasn't in the list of things to do today. -I'm tired, I'm cold, I've ruined my shoes in the way of walking here and there and the only good thing is that with all the miles I've been doing and the stress I have lost some weight, at least 5 pounds!- she leaves no time him to touch the thought of opening mouth and replicating something. -Don't say anything, don't dare!- Luke nods and looks almost scared. -The alarm clock wasn't ringing, the train was late- she starts to enumerate -yes, I took the train, why, I can't?- even this time is denied at him the opportunity to defend himself. He didn't say anything, she is inventing comments, perhaps thinking of reading his mind, but she has calibrated bad the crystal ball. -I wasn't in my house.- she feels obliged to say; in Luke's eyes pass shadows. -Twenty-five minutes late waiting on the platform! But if we were in Japan...- she loses the thread of speech - they are always punctual and love cats. I love cats. But even the dogs.- she probably adds it only for Roxy, not certainly to not hurt him. -All the animals ...- the man grins, and then she tries to recover. - ... and then ... Then when I took the train, I couldn't sit down! And it was cold there too!- she continues to complain. The words overlap each other, and Luke decides to focus only on the movement of her lips. -I don't understand how it's possible, indeed, yes that I understand it: they shoot the outside air inside, so in the summer they are always an oven and in winter only the penguins are missing ... Zaira told me this ...- she's new going out of the way. -And the tram, I had to take a damned tram too - what she doesn't tell him is that the tram's driver was not bad at all and that she had remembered Luke while she looks at him. -Full, with young sitting and older men standing! And the speeches ... both there and on the train ...- she shakes her head, trying to shake off those phrases she can't get out of her ears. -No, no.- she finally pauses, and Luke thinks he can say something. He thinks bad. -I want to believe that the world is better than that- she restarts even more quick and puts an almost theatrical emphasis (JJ told him once Garcia occasionally recited with a therapy theatrical company) -a nice place full of gentle, wonderful people ...- she's staring too intensely him. Demonstrate to Alvez that him is not indifferent for you, isn't even in the list. -I can't do it, I can't do it, in days like this!- the tears are always there, lurking, waiting for the right time to get noticed. -They were also doing jobs for which they changed all tram's stops, and of course there was not even a warning. Nothing ... and I ... I just wanted to go to the bathroom, maybe take a cup of tea before I had to study yet another horrible case ... and instead I had to meet you!- she accuses him, pointing her glazed finger against him.

-I just asked you how you were ...- the man raises his hands, in a gesture of rendition that isn't the first time he is forced to do in front of her. But he fails, or perhaps doesn't want, to completely conceal a happy smirk. She immediately notices it.

-Well, are you satisfied with my answer?- she asks. -I can also add more details, for example that I have also been hurt with the cream jar, I can ... - the ramble is gently interrupted or rather it goes off on the lips of the SSA Alvez, who thus captures two birds with one stone. She takes a lot more time to understand what's going on than to answer the kiss. Her body reacts automatically, almost as he had typed the right sequence. For the first time since she woke up, indeed, for the first time she didn't know how much time, Penelope has cleared head, not flashing none square like in The Sims, to warn that something is going on and so many other tasks await their time. She abandons herself to the mere sensations: his taste, he had certainly taken a cappuccino for breakfast; the softness of his mouth and the roughness, magic contrast, of his beard on her skin; the heat transmitted by his hands, wrapped around her side of the head and her neck; the symphony of their breathing, wheezing as they tried to find the way to breathe without being forced to separate. The view is the only sense she doesn't use, because she doesn't need to see him to know he's there, it's kissing her and he's always wonderful.

Unfortunately, in the end, they're forced out of the state of apnea. Slowly she lifts her eyelids and scrutinizes him. Luke's mouth is swollen now, molded by their effusion; will she also be her tanned in the same way? It's just after she falls in shock: did I really get snog with Luke? She would like to ask him why, if it's a joke, if he went mad ... she would want to say so many of those things, but she can't. She used too many words before and now she has finished the characters available. -You're better now?- he can only take advantage of the prime opportunity. His tone is sweet with some joking. Penelope nods, looking at him as if she faced a god, as she always looked at Morgan. -And now, you still cold?- one of his hands didn't abandon the contact with the female body and now patters her shoulder.

-No ...- she replies sincerely, but then she changes her expression and with it an idea as well. -Yes.- Luke doesn't put much time to understand why. He takes her face in his hands and crushes his mouths again with hers. This time the kiss becomes fierier, as if they were following a hierarchy of levels that are forced to pass in order to access the next one. Neither of them care at all to being in a federal office, where things like this are not seen every day, indeed, and it is also forbidden to "fraternize" too much with coworkers.

-And now?- he asks, with his forehead resting on hers.

-A little less ...- her voice sounds like those of a minx little girl. She still wants him, she's not satisfied. He asks to himself if he'll ever be; he, of course, no. They remain staring at each other, breaking out in turn at laugh. -Then?- Penelope says, breaking the silence.

-Then what?- she decides to give up. She has completely forgotten the reason she's in front of this white door with a toilet paper and the symbol of two humane stick figures.

-Nothing.- typical woman response.

-Penelope ... - he warns her both with the tone and with the look.

-Ok- she doesn't take much to surrender. -Why.- she exclaims without using a question mark.

-Why what?- Luke continues to look too naïve.

-Why you kissed me.- how can she says it, she doesn't even know. -Well, it was nice- she corrects instantly -stratospheric, wonderful, but ...- but she wants more and Luke is ready to give her that exact this. All he can.

-You want everything, including a statement.- he laughs, but then back serious. The woman nods, he immediately catches her hands with his. -I kissed you because you were nervous, agitated, and depressed.- he begins, noticing how Penelope's hopeful and dreaming expression waver, leaving room for the sadness. And those tears are still standing there, looking out, not throwing them down. -I kissed you because I wanted to do it since a lot of time, at least from your first met with Roxy.- already far better. Blonde's cheeks regain color and even her heart start to beat. -I kissed you not because I liked you- even negative -but because I'm cooked, in love, about you.- he spells good every single word catching up. -And last but not least ... I kissed you because I wanted to test a theory.- she frowns, not understanding what he wants to suggest. -Did you know that to make a simple expression, a smile or a weeping, we using a lot of muscles?- it's still not clear what he's getting at. -Somewhere I've read that a simple gesture like a smile, if done by the right person, or a kiss, is able to straighten up a bad day.- Penelope finally understands.

-So ... - she's got a moment of embarrassment, but then she comes back resolute. -Did you know that to test the correctness of a hypothesis, the tests have to be repeated several times?- Luke responds with a malicious grimace, one of his classic reactions when he's close to her.

-Oh yes? How many times?- she approaches him.

-I don't know ... a lot ...- she shrugs. Both of them reduce the distance and resume the effusion where it was interrupted, this time even more intensely, decisively in more intense ways, as if they had levels to be overcome to access the next stage, the mandatory steps to be crossed. - Maybe it would be better ... to change the location ...- she can say between a breath kiss and the other.

-Or we can continue the experiment later, maybe tonight, when the case is resolved ... - man's words bring her back to earth.

-Yes, the case! I'm astronomical late.- he takes her by the hand, combining their fingers, and he tries to walk in the direction of the meeting room. But after a few steps Penelope stops. -You go ahead. I have to do something.- and in front of his stunned gaze she enter in the toilet.

Tags: @martinab26 @kiki-krakatoa@yessenia993 @arses21434 @teyamarra @c00lhandsluke @rkt3357 @orangesickle @entireoranges @jamirn@kathy5654 @lovesgoodluna @thisonekid@thenibblets@ambrosiaswhispers @perfectly-penelope @courtneyxoxo1 @jahreau @gracieeelizabeth27 @silviajajaja @ichooseno megs2219 @ smalliemichelle99 @skisun @chewwy123 @ gracieeelizabeth27 @franklintrixie @jenf42 Tell me if you want to be removed ^_^

#garvez #penelope garcia #luke alvez #garcia x alvez #luke x penelope #bad day

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spectroamer · 8 years ago

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SERVERTALE CHAPTER 4: Multiple worlds, multiple problems

Toriel is getting the pie ready. She cuts the pie in pieces and places one piece on the plate. The pie is a little bit burnt, but that still doesn’t take away the taste. Toriel goes to Fisk’s room to give her the pie. Since Frisk is still sleeping, Toriel just leaves the pie on the floor and exits the room. She goes to the doors that are blocking the exit to Snowdin. Toriel sits down at the doors and checks if Sans is there. Toriel: Sans? Are you there? Sans: yeah, tori, i’m here. what’s up? Toriel: Sans… A human is in the Ruins. She’s a young girl. Sans: really? does anyone else know? Toriel: only the small monsters. Oh and I met Blooky while I was working, he said he met her as well. Sans: did the human hurt anyone? Toriel: No. The child doesn’t want to hurt anyone. Even when Flowey attacked her, she didn’t want to fight back. Sans: i told you that you shouldn’t trust that flower. he only causes trouble. Toriel: I know, but still, I feel like there is something… more about him, that he refuses to show. Sans: you saying he has a good side or something? cuz trust me, if he has one, then i dunno about it. Toriel: I’m not sure… Sans? Can you promise me something? Sans: depends on what that promise is. Toriel: If the child reaches these doors and passes them, can you please protect her? Sans: …I’ll try my best tori. Toriel: Thank you my friend, I know that it will be more than enough. Sans: no problem. see ya soon. Toriel: Goodbye. Sans gets up and starts walking back to Snowdin. While he’s walking, he notices that Error is back, but this time, he’s at the middle of the path. Sans: error, what are you doing here? weren’t you tracking that x-event thing you told me about? Error: i wAs, b-but thE whOle s-sitUation gOt me i-inSpired. Sans finds the way error said that suspicious so he gets ready for an attack, but Error notices. Error: d-don’T worRy, I didn’t m-mean it liKe t-that. I saW t-the flaw iN tHeir pLans. Sans: and who is it that you’re talking about? For the first time, Error sounded completely normal. Error: All of them. Error uses the code to create a picture of everyone he’s talking about. He points to the window where Cross is. Error: hEre we h-have tHe maIn h-hero… oR v-villain, i’M not s-sure yet. All hE e-ever wAnted is tO h-have a noRmal world, bUt h-he gOt ca-carried away, n-naive. tHat’s w-When this chAra tOok o-over. bUt, hE dOesn’t haVe a woRld t-to crEate, He h-has a poi\nt tO proVe. ThAn we haVe I-ink. Our kn-knight iN shiNy arMour, bUt witH a-a sElfish heArt. hE doesn’T caRe w-whAt happEns to tHe v-Ictims. They’Re a-all jUst colLateral d-damage neceSsary for b-building art for hIm. anD hEre w-we haVe D-dream aNd hIs b-broTher niGhtmAre. yoU cAn t-tell by tHeir nn-namEs tHat they’re a dYnamIc d-duo. aNd at t-thE end wE haVe a-all thE smaLL p-pawns f-fRom theIr Aus t-that arE getting thrOwn i-in thE chaoS. Anyway, i d-didn’T comE h-herE to gIve you aN i-introductIon s-stoRy. As i a-alreaDy tolD y-you, thEir plaN is f-flawed. They’rE moVing thE pArts of cOde, daMaging iT and makIng it u-unstaBle whIle d-doing sO. I tHink i gOt a solUtion f-for tHat p-proBlem. I-nstead cUting out the c-code, i-i’m goNna copPy it, whIch will p-prEvent anY damaGe f-from beIng m-made. T-that’s whY i’M herE. Sans: ok, i see where you’re getting at and i won’t get in your way, but if you even think of tou- Error: d-dOn’t worrY aBout p-papYrus, a-after aLl, yOu can’T miSs soMeone you’Ve neVer haD. Sans: wait. you don’t have a brother? Error: i d-dOn’t h-have anyonE. tHats w-why i’m tRying tO recReatE yoUr c-code. if i s-sucCeed, tHe a-anti vOid won’T be eMpty a-anymOre. aNd if i d-don’t, i caN a-alwaYs erasE tHe c-copies. Sans: i understand. i’ll help you out in any way i can. Error: tHanks, b-but theRe’s no neEd for t-that. Sans: well… good luck then. Error: yoU knoW w-what? i tHink i-i’m gonNa caLl you BIOS from nOw on. Sans: ok… Error opens a portal to the anti void. Error: anD r-remember, hUmanity is n-not as baD as yoU thInk i-it is. doN’t be afRaid t-to relY oN it w-when tHe tiMe comeS. Before Sans can say anything, Error already walks through and closes the portal. Sans: these conversations just keep getting better and better. 2 hours later Sentinels of the ancient’s HQ, Ebott city Ramirez is looking through the latest city reports, when a thug runs in the room, clearly tired form running. Thug: Boss! Ramirez: What is it? Thug: We have… a reported… break in… at the computer warehouse. Ramirez: How do you know that? Thug: A scout… says he say 2 cops investigating the area, using radios, he believes that someone was in. Ramirez: Who was in? who are the cops. Thug: We don’t know who it was, but the scout identified one of the cops. It was officer Lopez. Ramirez: I don’t have the time to go there myself, tell Cobra to send a squad there, the objective is finding the cameras and checking if someone entered the digital realm, not fighting cops. Thug: Yes, sir! The thug does as ordered and looks for commander Cobra. Meanwhile, Ne is listening in on their conversations from a nearby rooftop using hidden cameras he placed a few weeks ago. Ne: So someone was sneaky enough to get past the cops and Ramirez wants to find out what happened. Looks like I have a race to win. Ne jumps down to the ground and creates his motorcycle using magic. Ne: Lets break some speed limits! Ne pulls the handlebar, gaining speed and goes around and between cars on the road. The police already knows about him and they don’t want to waste time on trying to chase him, so he has an easy trip. After a minute of driving, he is at the warehouse. Ne: Ok, let’s see what kind of footage i can find here. They should really upgrade their security here, but still, it just makes things easier for me. Ne finds the recordings and starts watching them. He sees Frisk entering the warehouse, her hiding from the policemen and finally, her entering the digital realm. Ne: Frisk, what the hell did you do kid? I have to delete this before those idiots get here… Actually, I could have some fun here. His visor light turns into a smiley face for a second. He transfers all of the recordings to his helmet’s OS and takes USB drive that he found next to the computer. Just as he was getting ready to go, he sees 4 thugs getting out of a car. One of them has a 9mm, second guy has an baseball bat and the other two have combat knives. Ne starts to laugh. Ne: What is this, amateur hour? I expected something more chalenging, like assault rifles, explosives, or anything… He points to their equipment Ne: better than that. Thug: We don’t need rifles or bombs to take you down! Ne: It’s ok, I understand that there were money losses lately. The thugs are clearly mad now. Thug: Enough with the talking, lets just kill this fool. The thug with the 9mm starts firing at Ne, but he blocks all of the bullets with his magic enforced panels. When the gunman is out of ammo, Ne dashes towards him and knocks him out with one punch. The thug with the bat tries to hit his head, but Ne ducks under it and kicks the thug, making the guy loose balance, and fall to the ground. The two thugs armed with knives attack him at the same time, with one of them trying to cut his stomach, while the other one tries to stab his neck and they both miss, because Ne phase shifted above them, hitting the both with the neon energy he fired from his hands and knocking them out. The guy with the baseball bat tries to get up, still stunned from the kick, but is knocked out as well, by another kick to the head. Ne: well that was fun. Lets do that another time. Ok, now, lets get these guys into a nice wild goose chase. He looks at the computer and the small bag Frisk left when she was teleported. Ne: Whatever crazy plan you came up with, I hope you know what you’re doing Frisk. Frisk is starting to wake up. She sees a pie on a plate. Chara is awake as well. Frisk: Good morning. How did you sleep? Chara: I didn’t. Frisk: what? Chara: It probably has something to do with the fact that I’m a ghost. Frisk: So what did you do the whole night? Chara: Mostly nothing. I was just looking around, listening to Toriel passing by and guarding you. Frisk: Guarding me? Pfft, what were you expecting to happen? Chara: I dunno, maybe a monster would get in the room and try to attack you. Frisk: And how were you planing to protect me? Chara: Well that ghost saw me, didn’t he? That means i can probably fight ghosts and if the intruder is an other type of monster, I would just wake you up. Frisk: And I’m gonna pretend that you staring at me the whole night isn’t weird. Chara: Exactly. Frisk gets out of bed and grabs the plate with the pie. There’s a fork in it. She takes the fork and tries the pie. It’s still warm and very delicious. Frisk: How is it so warm? Chara: Probably fire magic. She still makes it as perfect as she used to. Frisk: Wait. You can taste what I’m eating? Chara: Looks like it. Frisk finishes eating the pie and goes to explore the house. She starts with the rest of the hallway. When she gets to the mirror at the end of the room, Chara just says “It’s you”. Frisk continues to go and find Toriel. Toriel is sitting in a chair in the living room, reading a book. Toriel: Up already, I see? Um, I want you to know how glad I am to have someone here. There are so many old books I want to share. I want to show you my favorite bug-hunting spot. I’ve also prepared a curriculum for your education. This may come as a surprise to you… But I have always wanted to be a teacher. … actually, perhaps that isn’t very surprising. STILL, I am glad to have you living here. Oh, did you want something? What is it? Chara: Oh, this is going to be hard to explain. Frisk: Toriel? I am very thankful for the home and food you gave me and for everything else, but I need to continue going through the Computerworld and get back home. Toriel: What? This… this Is your home now. Um… would you like to hear about this book I am reading? It is called “72 Uses for Snails.” How about it? Frisk: Sure… I guess. Toriel: Here is an exciting snail fact. Did you know that snails… Sometimes flip their digestive systems as they mature? Interesting. Frisk: Yeah… it is. Chara: This is bad. She isn’t going to let you go. Frisk: Toriel, I really need to continue traveling to the next area. Toriel: … I have to do something. Stay here. Toriel gets up from her chair and starts walking way faster than normal to the room that separates Ruins from Snowdin. Chara: Oh, no, I know what she’s trying to do. Quickly, go after her! Frisk starts running after Toriel. She finds her standing in the beginning of the hallway. Toriel speaks in an emotionless voice. Toriel: You wish to return “Home,” do you not? Ahead of us lies the end of the Ruins. A one-way exit to the rest of the Computerworld. I am going to destroy it. Chara: I KNEW IT! Toriel: No one will ever be able to leave again. Now be a good child and go upstairs. Toriel continues going forward, but Frisk and Chara are too determined to give up now. Toriel: Every human that falls down here meets the same fate. I have seen it again and again. They come, They leave, they die. You naive child… If you leave the Ruins… They… ASGORE… Will kill you. I am only protecting you, do you understand? Go to your room. Do not try to stop me. This is your final warning. Toriel continues to walk towards the doors and Frisk follows her to them. There is nowhere else to go. Toriel: You want to leave so badly? Hmpf. You are just like the other one. There is only one solution to this. Prove yourself… Prove to me you are strong enough to survive. Toriel blocks the way! Without Frisk even telling her, Chara uses the code to check Toriel. Toriel ATK 80 DEF 80 Knows best for you. Toriel makes a swarm of fireballs around Frisk. She barely dodges the fireballs, still feeling their heat. Toriel looks through her. Frisk attempts to talk to Toriel, but she doesn’t say anything because she can’t think of any conversation topics. Frisk shows that she doesn’t want to fight, but Toriel still keeps on attacking. Now, She moves her arms, creating fireball waves in front of them. Frisk dodges one wave and the other distinguishes before it hits her. Frisk is still trying to stop their fight. This time, Toriel takes a little bit longer before she makes her next attack. She prepares another magical attack. This time a fireball hits Frisk, hurting and slightly burning her. Frisk fails to contain a small yelp from the pain and the heat of the attack. Toriel is acting aloof. Frisk still doesn’t fight back. Toriel is slightly confused by this. Toriel: What are you doing? She creates another sweep attack, but Frisk manages to somehow dodge it. Before she has time to regain balance, Toriel throws another wave, dangerously damaging her. Fisk cries out in pain. Chara’s ghost body is frozen by fear. Toriel creates another wave. Frisk is on the ground, almost completely unable to move. The fireballs travel at high speed, but all of them go around Frisk, actually dodging her. Toriel: What are you proving this way? Frisk is still barely moving, just holding her glow stick in front of her as a last defense. Chara starts to regain control of her body and calms down a bit when she sees that Toriel won’t fight anymore. Chara: I think it’s over. Toriel makes a small wave, giving Frisk time to slowly get up. She is gasping for air, shaking from the pain that’s going through her whole body after every move, but she still colets enough energy to somehow stand up. Toriel prepares for an attack, but there isn’t one. She realizes that there is only one way this battle is going to end. She stops attacking. Toriel: I know you want to go home, but… Frisk still does nothing, taking deep breaths, still fighting her injuries. Toriel: But please, go upstairs, now. Frisk still doesn’t move, because she is determined to continue and because moving again would probably make her fall to the ground. Toriel manages a weak smile Toriel: I promise, I will take good care of you here. I know we do not have much, but, we can have a good life here. Frisk stands still, apart from shaking, holding her good arm over the wounded one and her stomach. Toriel: Why are you making this so difficult. Please, go upstairs. Frisk just looks at her, basically begging with her eyes. Toriel realizes the amount of injury she has brought upon her and starts to feel ashamed of her actions, remembering her last attempt of stopping a child. Toriel: Pathetic, is it not? I cannot save even a single child. Frisk would normally try to make her feel better, but she is in way too much pain to talk or move. Toriel: No, I understand. You would just be unhappy trapped down here. The Ruins are very small once you get used to them. It would not be right for you to grow up in a place like this. My expectations… My loneliness… My fear… For you, my child, I will put them aside. If you truly wish to leave the Ruins… I will not stop you. However, when you leave… Please do not come back. I hope you understand. Toriel heals Frisk’s injuries, but even after that, Frisk can still feel the pain in their body. Still, she manages to hug Toriel. Goodbye, my child. Toriel walks away. Chara: Are you ok? Frisk: I don’t know. Chara: What happened down here while I was away? I have never seen her so violent. Frisk: At least we’re alive. Relatively. Chara: The pain should go away after some time. Are you ready to continue? Frisk: As ready as I can be. Chara: Well that will have to be good enough. Frisk opens the big door and walks through the hallway, only to find Flowey waiting at the exit. Flowey: Clever. Verrrryyy clever. You think you’re really smart, don’t you? In this world, it’s kill, or be killed. So you were able to play by your own rules. His face turns demonic. Flowey: You spared the life of a single person. Hee hee hee… His face turns back to normal. Flowey: I bet you feel really great. You didn’t kill anybody this time. But what will you do if you meet a relentless killer? You’ll die and you’ll die and you’ll die. Until you tire of trying. What will you do then? His face takes on an evil shape again. Flowey: will you kill out of frustration? Or will you give up entirely on this world… Flowey keeps changing his face to match his mood. Flowey: … and let ME inherit the power to control it? I am the prince of this world’s future. Don’t worry, my little monarch, my plan isn’t regicide. This is SO much more interesting. He does an evil laugh and goes away. Frisk slowly walks over to the door and goes through. She barely walks through the door before passing out on the ground. Chapter 3 Prologue Chapter 5

#servertale #frisk #Chara #Ne #Undertale

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