#it's this one email to my phd supervisor

[al-mayriti]

i have to send an email today. please keep me in your thoughts & prayers

[sunscreenstudies]

i passed my first annual progress review!!! 🎉💃🏼🥳

[exopelagic]

I love my degree I love my department I love my uni

[diminuel]

Little whining post.

Maybe you remember me sending a mail to look for a second supervisor. My deadline to let the uni know who I picked is tomorrow and I haven't heard back. :C

I sent a panicked email (as always last-minute) to my university to tell them what's going on but it's possible there's nothing more they can do for me and then I'll be done with my PhD... Worst case but not impossible...

And trying to describe the issue to my psychologist had him end the session with a "I don't know where to go from here". Which is not encouraging but I felt embarrassed for being such a difficult case and maybe surprising him that even though I seem so well adjusted and normal that I really do struggle with things that should be simple. Surely, it's simple to send an email early enough that you can wait for their reply, especially if you've received extensions three times already. Surely, it's simple enough to sit down and work on things. I bet it is. I just can't do it consistently. There are moments where strategies like making time tables and to do lists work, but then they stop working. It's one step forward and after a while right back to square one. It's frustrating.

[aalgorithm]

my disaster master's thesis story

with a happy ending! i graduated with a successful thesis!

i originally wanted to post this to reddit, but it's not outside of the realm of possibility for the villain of this story to find it there, so tumblr it is.

context: i recently graduated with my master's degree in literary and cultural studies (fancy words for an english MA), and i am beginning an english phd program in the fall. my areas of interest are american literature, mostly 1920s-1960s, and cold war studies. i was also the instructor of record for 2 second-year writing courses, 20 students apiece, per my contract. my MA program was 2 years, with the capstone/thesis process beginning in the fall of your 2nd year. this procedure involves one primary advisor (whom i'll refer to as PA here) with whom you work with in the fall semester to craft a serviceable first draft, and then 2 committee members who offer feedback during spring semester until you complete however many drafts to arrive at the final product. academia friends will know that this is totally standard and without many rules/much oversight. you, the student, are tasked with selecting the advisor and those committee members based on criteria of your own choosing.

so! it's late april of 2024. i have a meeting with my academic advisor about courses in the fall, and during this meeting i ask if she'll be my primary thesis advisor. and she says yes! we historically worked well together and she is well-versed in american literature, so it seemed like a good fit. i wrote my thesis on j. d. salinger's novel, raise high the roofbeam, carpenters and seymour an introduction, with a bit of franny and zooey at the end. she'd read the latter, not the former, but i lent her a copy.

then it's september of 2024 and i pitch to PA my WIP thesis idea: a cultural analysis of how the potential of nuclear annihilation affected midcentury american art/literature. i won't bore you with details, this would involve about a 50/50 split of historical analysis - primary sources, SPSS work, pulling from foreign policy documents, presidential speeches, etc. - and classic english-major close-reading of salinger. for fellow literature friends, in the vein of New Historicism. my argument was derived from a historical concept i was inventing, and the novel would be treated as a case study. this got her stamp of approval in september.

with this unique structure for an english project in mind, i went about selecting my readers with an informed agenda and perspective in mind. i initially asked a political science professor to be on my committee to vet the non-english-major-stuff, but this unfortunately fell through (to be explained later). then i met with another american literature professor who was pretty notorious for giving harsh feedback, but when i pitched my idea, they seemed very interested and agreed. their own work is all about consulting primary sources to form historically-based arguments onto which they map literary studies. they also gave their stamp of approval in september. they will be referred to as reader 1 and - spoiler alert - they are the villain. i would go on to email reader 1 five times from september - february, with documents attached so they could see my progress, with no response except for one: "thanks!"

my PA and I ended up reducing the history portion to about 60/40 by the end of the semester (which still grinds my gears, but i digress). she gave me the HARD DEADLINE of december 20ish for my complete first draft, which she would (supposedly) have read by the time school resumed in the second week of january. we also agreed that readers 1 and 2 would get a 2nd draft complete with PA's edits by the first week of february.

PA waited till january 29th to send her feedback, and by that time, she had insisted on cutting so much of the history portion that my political science reader wasn't a fit anymore. my teaching supervisor graciously agreed to sub in, and she'll be referred to as reader 2. she's very outside my field and does mostly technical writing, but it was nice to share my work with her, regardless.

i send my readers 1 and 2 an update and promise to send my draft by march 1, which is still early by most committee standards in my former program. i get a response from reader 2 and crickets from reader 1. i follow through on this deadline on the last day of february...and i don't hear anything back until april 1, a full week after spring break is over, once the committee has discussed my work thus far as a group.

in a ~800 word email sent at 10:45pm on that monday, reader 1 tells me that i don't know how to write a thesis statement, that the entire paper is summary, that it should be cut to 20-25 pages from the existing 45, and that i am too concerned with sounding "polished." in their mind, i need to write an actual thesis before i go heavy on the line edits. and my PA agrees with everything they have to say. she didn't defend me whatsoever.

*i also sent PA 3 more drafts/sub-drafts between january 29th and february 28th per her request, which is why the paper sounded "polished." she said all i had to do pre-reader feedback was organizational. i had this thing TIGHT and ready to go.

i was truly a wreck. i love the challenge of enduring harsh feedback, but what i had to explain to PA was that i wasn't offended by reader 1's tone/intensity of feedback; i was devastated by how they rejected the entire premise. she said she understood...and that was all. it's hard to describe PA's general temperament - she's annoyingly professional and unyielding but hides behind very superficial niceties - but she completely blindsided me with this one. the committee recommended that i cut the 20 pages of historical analysis/argument down to 5.

so i did. in 12 days! because the university deadline was in mid-april!

as i'm balancing 3 of my own courses and teaching 40 students, i reworked about 80% of my year-long thesis. the best way i can describe this process is that i was soon writing statements and ideas that i didn't even agree with or believe just to please reader 1 because they threatened to never approve my project if i didn't radically upend it.

when i sent this cosmically undone version to the committee again, reader 1 STILL had feedback - something to the tune of "do another immense round of changes and then get back to me." i didn't do any of it. in a rare show of my own conviction, i told my PA that i gave up because it's not my own work anymore, and she relented.

all that being said, here's the happy part!

somewhere along this fucked up journey, my PA nominated me for a university-wide graduate studies award in the humanities/social sciences (see? she's very confusing). the award highlights unique field-specific work that enriches the area of study, blah blah blah. and i was very honored to receive the award, the first english grad student to do so in ~15 years. PA told reader 1 this during the process of them wrecking my work. it's ironic how PA praises my work one second thru this nomination, but then lets reader 1 tear it down the next.

much later, it's customary for all grad students to present/defend their theses at a university-wide symposium, which all the committee members are supposed to attend. reader 1, fortunately, didn't attend mine. and when reader 2 asked reader 1 about coming in the days before, they said: "probably not. i'm not on campus at that time." also, presented my paper as it was before it was torn to shreds.

later still, once my thesis was approved (PA got reader 1's signature after i refused), we all attended a department dinner that celebrates graduating students. reader 1 did, in fact, attend this, and sat directly across from me and persistently looked at and lingered around me all evening. during this dinner, i had another huge (and really emotional) honor of receiving a graduate teaching award...which they saw me win. that felt really good.

what DIDN'T feel as good is how reader 1 forced their way through the crowd of my friends and favorite faculty members to tap me on the shoulder and - gingerly - tell me "good job on the final draft!" and "congratulations for your awards!" i'm not a confrontational person at all, but it felt good to give them a cold "thank you, i appreciate that" and then watch them get forced out of a group photo a few seconds later.

for the record: i asked reader 1 to meet on several occasions. i kept in consistent contact with them throughout the process, and all they thought to do was rip my work to shreds after hearing that i was doing pretty well for myself. and this had ripple effects - my friends all had impromptu meetings with their PAs about reconciling committee feedback "in light of recent events."

maybe i could have handled it all differently, and maybe i should have asked reader 1 off my committee. but it really felt like reader 1 hated the very spirit of my work - despite claiming otherwise initially - and i wanted to come out on top. i also feel very betrayed by my PA and don't plan on keeping in touch with her much (deeper issues lie there; i didn't really like the culture of my program). and, though i love her, reader 2 was so timid that she didn't speak up to help me, either. this story is far from unique within academia, but i still wanted to share now that it's firmly in my rearview mirror. funny for reader 1, too, is that my phd program is very excited by my interest in cold war studies! >:)

(finally, and this will break some anonymity but who cares: reader 1 is a white person who teaches a class on black musicians across time, and one of their finals for their undergrad students is to "write a rap song in the style of a current rap artist." i shit you not. and this school is massively PWI).

(PS: i ran into reader 1 on campus once, said hello, although begrudgingly, and they stared right at me, looked me up and down, and walked away).

[superlinguo]

Research Data Management. Or, How I made multiple backups and still almost lost my honours thesis.

This is a story I used to tell while teaching fieldworkers and other researchers about how to manage their data. It’s a moderately improbable story, but it happened to me and others have benefited from my misadventures. I haven't had reason to tell it much lately, and I thought it might be useful to put into writing. This is a story from before cloud storage was common - back when you could, and often would, run out of online email storage space. Content note: this story includes some unpleasant things that happened to me, including multiple stories of theft (cf. moderately improbable). Also, because it's stressful for most of the story, I want to reassure you that it does have a happy conclusion. It explains a lot of my enthusiasm for good research data management. In Australia, 'honours' is an optional fourth year for a three year degree. It's a chance to do some more advanced coursework and try your hand at research, with a small thesis project. Of course, it doesn't feel small when it's the first time you've done a project that takes a whole year and is five times bigger than anything you’ve ever written. I've written briefly about my honours story (here, and here in a longer post about my late honours supervisor Barb Kelly) . While I did finish my project, it all ended a bit weirdly when my supervisor Barb got ill and left during the analysis/writing crunch. The year after finishing honours I got an office job. I hoped to maybe do something more with my honours work, but I wasn't sure what, and figured I would wait until Barb was better. During that year, my sharehouse flat was broken into and the thief walked out with the laptop I'd used to do my honours project. The computer had all my university files on it, including my data and the Word version of my thesis. I lost interview video files, transcriptions, drafts, notes and everything except the PDF version I had uploaded to the University's online portal. Uploading was optional at the time, if I didn't do that I probably would have just been left with a single printed copy. I also lost all my jewellery and my brother’s base guitar, but I was most sad about the data (sorry bro). Thankfully, I made a backup of my data and files on a USB drive that I kept in my handbag. This was back when a 4GB thumb drive was an investment. That Friday, feeling sorry for myself after losing so many things I couldn't replace, I decided to go dancing to cheer myself up. While out with a group of friends, my bag was stolen. It was the first time I had a nice handbag, and I still miss it. Thankfully, I knew to make more than one back up. I had an older USB that I'd tucked down the back of the books on my shelf (a vintage 256MB drive my dad kindly got for me in undergrad after a very bad week when I lost an essay to a corrupted floppy disk). When I went to retrieve the files, the drive was (also) corrupted. This happens with hard drives sometimes. My three different copies in three different locations were now lost to me.

Thankfully, my computer had a CD/DVD burner. This was a very cool feature in the mid-tens, and I used to make a lot of mixed CDs for my friends. During my honours project I had burned backed up files on some discs and left them at my parents house. It was this third backup, kept off site, which became the only copy of my project. I very quickly made more copies. When Barb was back at work, and I rejoined her as a PhD student, it meant we could return to the data and all my notes. The thesis went through a complete rewrite and many years later was published as a journal article (Gawne & Kelly 2014). It would have probably never happened if I didn’t have those project files. I continued with the same cautious approach to my research data ever since, including sending home SD cards while on field trips, making use of online storage, and archiving data with institutional repositories while a project is ongoing.

I’m glad that I made enough copies that I learnt a good lesson from a terrible series of events. Hopefully this will prompt you, too, to think about how many copies you have, where they’re located, and what would happen if you lost access to your online storage.

[euler-of-a-leonhard]

Mixed feelings about being done with my master's degree. It is kind of scary. I have no idea what I'll be doing in the future. What is the next step? And I miss having meetings with my supervisor. But I'm also really glad that it's done and that I have the time to think about other things again.

I was just not expecting that my thoughts after finishing would be "Oh shit I'm unemployed" haha

I do want to keep doing maths, but I don't know where or how. There aren't a lot of PhD positions in pure maths here :)))) I'm considering applying for one in another city, but it's pretty far away and I don't know if I want to move. Also idk if the mathematics is the kind of stuff I enjoy doing.

I sent an email to one of the people that you can ask questions to about the position. I took two courses where he was the professor, and he knows who I am, which makes it a bit less scary, but aaaah. I don't feel like I'm smart enough to even consider applying.

Also, maybe I could do cryptography instead of pure mathematics. As far as I know, it's pretty close.

So this semester, I'm taking courses in cryptography, combinatorics, and languages and computers. And bird identification. And I'm working as a quiz master at a café.

[mrhaitch]

hi mr.haitch!

as someone who's interested in academia, do you think you can speak a bit about your experiences and journey? it's something i've had my eye on for a bit but honestly don't even know where to begin and idk if i'm just having a mini life crisis because i'm feeling unfulfilled in my current field.

I think I've spoken about this before, but I'll do it again. Please note that I am currently not in academia at present, although I do have plans to return. Currently I'm teaching functional skills in English and maths to kids in their late teens (many of them with severe emotional, behavioural, or learning disorders) so this will be more of a retrospective.

(Be warned, it's long)

Let's get one thing very clear: I was a bad student and my road into academia is and remains crooked. I had bad grades in highschool, an appalling attendance record, and spent a great deal of highschool in detention. It is a miracle that I finished highschool, and a further miracle that I was accepted by a college, and fluked through my A-levels.

I never paid attention in class unless it was something I cared about. Homework was a mythical concept, I never participated, rarely engaged, and generally treated school with disdain.

And I didn't get better until I was in my twenties.

Some of it was anxiety, a lot of it was arrogance.

So fast forward through my undergrad years where I oscillated wildly between workaholic frenzy (political philosophy, existentialism, philosophy of religion) to staunch absenteeism (philosophy of language, socratic philosophy). In my final year things kind of clicked, I knuckled down, got into a few fights with my lecturers, forced my grades up, and came out with a good enough grade to get onto a masters course.

This was largely in thanks to my writing, which I'd become increasingly dedicated to, completing and submitting my first (and thankfully unpublished novel) in the process. During my master's I revelled in the greater degree of independence, how I could direct and engage with the material in my own way, and how it connected with my passions (creative writing). I still had an arrogant moment, failed to prepare for an assignment and failed it. The failure capped my overall grade at a pass which sank any hope for a scholarship.

Dejected and pissed off, I then took the first job that came my way and gave up on academia. I languished in the service industry for four years and thought I'd amount to nothing more. Some political nonsense happened towards the end, I pushed back against the wrong people who promptly tried to fire me under false (and illegal) pretenses.

Haitch pushed me to look into doing my PHD again. I applied, teaching out to one of my old MA teachers to be my supervisor and he accepted with far more enthusiasm than I could've hoped for. I got a loan from the government and vowed to throw myself at my PHD as hard as I could, and I did.

From 2019 until early 2023, I worked five days a week (plus some time in the weekends) on my thesis and my writing. 8-5 every day with my nose in a book, or plugging away at a manuscript, or drafting papers. I lived and breathed it every second. I kept a journal where I pushed myself to work harder and harder to achieve what I felt was my dream. During that time I was determined to come out with my experience and qualifications than I could possibly need for an entry position. I shadowed my colleagues when they taught classes, exchanged emails with academics I admired, published more short fiction.

Brick by brick I built a portfolio and a modest reputation. Then I was invited to speak at a prestigious convention in the UK. I met legendary literary agents, famous authors, hung out with people I admired, and had a chance to read some of my work to an audience and discuss its themes.

I taught for two years, while at the same time working two other contracts for various outreach bodies teaching and supporting kids from deprived or disadvantaged backgrounds.

And I still can't get a permanent position.

I've been shortlisted once or twice, and knocked back at the first hurdle a whole bunch.

Academic positions are like gold dust scattered down the back of a unicorn as it leaps over a double rainbow. It is hard to get a job teaching and researching at a university, especially in the humanities. It is endless rejection with minimal feedback, banging your head against a brick wall over and over wondering if you felt it move or if you've just softened your skull.

It's hard, very hard, and takes a lot of commitment and a lot of sacrifice, with zero guarantee you'll get anyway.

But you do it because you can't imagine yourself doing anything else.

The eagle eyed amongst you will recognise this as the same conclusion I reached about writing, and they're right. It's the same. Often thankless, frequently difficult. A feeling of toiling alone in the dark, waiting for someone, anyone to peer into the well you fell down.

But as hard as it is, if that's the path you've chosen, a part of you doesn't care. You do it anyway. You do it in spite of what it costs you, and the little it gives back.

At least, that's how I see it. Thank you for attending my rambling, somewhat doom-laden, TED talk.

[strawberryserpent]

pray for me that I can finally send this one (1) email I've been meaning to send to my PhD supervisor for weeks now

[doonarose]

The fic is loose! huzzuh! I was up at 5.30 to get all the formatting done and shit because of course I still didn't have an image organised and I hadn't quite settled on the title. Managed to post it to AO3 with all the author's note links dead. Then managed to misspell the word 'chapter' on reddit.

Amazing. But I am honest to god just so excited that it is out there and it's so close to being a finished story that I'm not too panicked about making sure I don't abandon it. Like it's so close.

And it's put me in such a good mood. Got one little comment on it already and it's the best fucking feeling. Hello endorphins.

This was by design because it's Monday and I am at work. And today promises to be a shitful day, I think. One student has not hit the planned deadlines for a major assessment tomorrow and so she is planning on having multiple practices today (as though I don't have better things to do, but also, the actual presentation still isn't complete???). She's not emailed me times for these practices and it's now after 10am and she's not here so...

Shitful PhD student who has not spoken to me in over five weeks now and who I have not seen for about three, I assumed would finally be speaking to me today. She worked from home all last week but is meant to be back today so I was mentally preparing to call her into my office and at least give her the option of talking some shit through. Because otherwise it's going to happen in a more open forum, where things are documented and I don't think she realizes just how in the wrong she is but emails were sent last week that should have started some alarm bells ringing. And a half hour ago emails were sent out pulling the trigger on this important, documented meeting at which she needs to convince me, her other supervisor, and her panel, that she is on track by giving a seminar and then answering questions, something she would usually practice a couple of times with the group, but she has not. And last I saw of her report it was a hot mess. And her proposed paper structure she sent around last week raised issues of academic integrity so... maybe she should consider talking to me?

Lol, nope. She has also just not shown up for work...

So I'm left twiddling my thumbs, knowing I'm ducking out for a long lunch with my parents (I do this maybe once every two months) as they drive past on the way home from holiday AND I've agreed to drive a colleague to a medical appointment leaving at 4.30 BECAUSE that means I can't be trapped here trying to fix hopeless situations all evening.

So there's that. Work is awful but fandom is LIFE.

[loopyhoopywrites]

My friend is looking for participants for her phd! She's especially hoping to include some LGBTQ+ people.

If you fit the criteria, please do email her, and if you don't boosts are appreciated :)

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[twilightprophet]

relieved to say that 2 unis contacted me today about helping me connect w supervisors & go forward w the phd program applications. the first to email is also a really good uni for my discipline & was rec'd by an old prof of mine. n*ceeee

i also got a new bead loom !!! my friend ordered one for me from kyiv so that i can make my own gerdany)))

[salvadorbonaparte]

Hello! Do you have any resources for a successful phd application? We’re in the same field and I’m currently trying to understand how to get publications / write a strong phd proposal :)

I wish I could help but I'm pretty lost at the moment too. I have a meeting with my supervisor tomorrow though so maybe I can add some things. Basically so far my situation is like this:

I talked to my supervisors and they encouraged me to apply

I started an application at my alma mater but never finished it because I wanted to wait until I hear back from the government funding people which is a separate progress

My supervisors simply took that separate funding application and made me an offer based on that?? Like I'm honoured but what the fuck?? I have to talk to my supervisor about that tomorrow

I emailed some other grad schools in a different country about my research topic to ask if that could find a home there and two of them were like sure sounds great! And one of them needs a weird test so fuck them and then two more schools had zoom calls with me and emailed me back afterwards so I'm really 👀

Absolutely no idea how to write a proposal but I'll ask my supervisor for some tips. As far as I know you simply have to be interesting enough that at least 1 professor on the committee is like "I want that person" and picks you

I never published anything but I want to ask my supervisor about it because I don't know how it even works, will report back

[diminuel]

Whining about university for a moment, maybe someone has advice for me. I'm oversharing my anxiety (and I know I am being ridiculous) a bit under the cut.

As part of my PhD program (which I have not yet signed up for, adding more stress) I'm supposed to get 18 credits with courses picked from different categories. I technically have two things on my list for tomorrow that I can use towards these credits, next with continuation of Danish classes on Wednesday and another block seminar happening later in the semester.

And I... don't want to go. I don't want to go tomorrow. I just don't want to go.

(Various reasons, some more shameful. My supervisor is doing the seminar and since I haven't answered one of her emails yet I cannot look her in the eyes until I have. And less insane/ shameful:)

It starts at 10 and I usually have to work until at least 10 and maybe I could have arranged something but I can't take the day off because someone else is on holiday and I didn't know until the weekened, so I'm going to miss the first sessions. And, well... I'm stressed about this too and now I don't want to go.

It would be good to take this class because it's a research seminar and I don't know if there'll be another one next semester (I suppose there will be, there has also been one last semester and the semester before, but I don't know!).

But... *points at the above*

I could only go for the lecture but one way to uni is 45 minutes and the lecture takes 45 minutes. Also, again, work.

Help. Do I just do a "focusing on actually doing research and writing" semester which I should have done last semester but was too preoccupied with the aftermath of getting sick and surgery and falling into paralyzing inactivity?

(I know there's a knot in my brain that I can't undo. And that has been there since January. I should get to therapy again and I'm working on it. The only thing getting in my way is that I had someone scan something for me and I don't know where the document is. It's simple as that. An unnecessary road block that has been there for almost two months. It's ridiculous. Is that the autism or am I just stupid? Maybe both.)

[swamppossum]

are they doin' it to you, stumpy?

SHE THREATENED TO FAIL ME FOR HER CLASS BECAUSE MY SUPERVISOR DIDN'T SIGN OFF ON THE HOURS IMMEDIATELY AFTER THEY CLOSED YESTERDAY - THERE'S NO WAY IN HELL GRADES AREN'T DUE UNTIL THE 15TH! tHAT'S HOW THIS SHITTY PROGRAM WORKS - I KNOW BECAUSE THIS ISN'T MY FIRST RODEO

THE PROFESSOR WHO HAS BEEN PHONING IT IN

THE BITCH WHO DOESN'T RESPOND TO EMAILS

THE ONE WITH TOO MANY LETTERS AFTER HER NAME

HOW ARE YOU LICENSED IN 9 STATES BITCH? THAT'S NOT HOW OUR FIELD WORKS? WHO ARE YOU TRYING TO IMPRESS? NICE RESUME FROM FAKE ASS COLLEGES, YOU FUCKING BASTARD!

NICE MBA PHD LISW YOU FUCKING TWAT - HOW ABOUT A MLM SCHEME TOO?

I HAVE SUBMITTED EVERYTHING EARLY OR ON TIME - WELL DOCUMENTED - I HAVE BEEN NOTHING BUT POLITE

I GOT MY 300+ HOURS WHILE HAVING COVID FOR OVER TWO WEEKS NOW - I BEND OVER BACKWARDS FOR THIS INTERNSHIP

NEVER GO TO GRAD SCHOOL ONLINE

[freesias-and-wine]

There are four people in the world (that I know of) that could supervise my PhD.

One? of them knows of my existence, another will soon be informed of it. Neither are viable options for my PhD. And so I will be cold emailing the last two begging for them to take me on, so for the first time in my life I'll have a supervisor that knows more about my topic than I do. The entire trajectory of my career lies in the hands of two women who have never even heard of me.

And next year, if I'm offered a PhD, I'll have to emigrate again, leave behind the life I've built over the past half a decade, and start again.

choosing a PhD advisor is not unlike marriage reality shows. making a multi year commitment on the basis of only a handful of awkward, perfunctory interactions. very small pool of options. something kinda wrong with all of them