#it's truly not a subject I've given a lot of thought to

[amysteryspot]

A Woman's Worth - Anthony Bridgerton x Reader

Summary: Anthony tries to salvage what's left of his marriage and discovers what his wife is truly worth. (Part one)

Fandom: Bridgerton (TV Show)

Pairing: Anthony Bridgerton x Female Reader

Warnings: mentions of miscarriage, cheating and lots of angst. English is not my first language and this wasn’t proofread.

Word Count: 4648

A/N: After so long, this piece is finally here. Thanks for patiently waiting and thanks @cevansgoodgirl for the help.

There is a mix of a scene with Laurie and Amy in Little Women and another one with Benedict and Tessa (the model/painter in 02x05), just so you know.

He remembers the first time he saw her—really saw her.

The (Y/L/N)s were guests in Aubrey House, and (Y/N) was in the balcony with Benedict while both their mothers and most of their siblings were in the lawn.

Anthony is not even sure what drew his attention when he was passing by, he did not have a habit of eavesdropping, but he got himself held back when his brother commented on (Y/N)’s painting.

"I declare that's rather good." Benedict said making (Y/N) huff.

“We both know that good is not enough, Ben.” She said with a hint of sadness in her voice.

Anthony could understand what his brother was talking about. The painting was a rendition of the scene unfolding before them—their siblings playing around while their mothers watched over them. It was rather good, indeed.

"It doesn’t matter, there's no place for me to do art."

Benedict frowned. "That's quite the statement to make at twenty. If you don't think you're good enough you have plenty of time to try some more, do better." He pauses, poking her. "You say that to me all the time."

"Then perhaps inform the academy.” She says, sarcasm dripping in every word. “Although two of the founding members are women, we are still not allowed to enter the classroom. It doesn't matter how much money we do or do not have."

"At least not while clothed." He comments, making (Y/N) throw the rag she was holding at him, which Benedict swiftly catches, changing the subject. "Well, now that you’ve given up all your artistic hopes, what are you going to do with your life?”

“Polish up my other talents and be an ornament to society.”

It was as if Anthony was seeing his sister speak.

“You sound like Eloise.” Benedict took the words out of Anthony’s mouth.

“Maybe she has been rubbing up on me.” (Y/N) smiled.

“You are searching for a husband, then?” Benedict asks, helping her pack her things.

“Yes.” She replies sheepishly.

“That's where Mr Scott comes in, I suppose.”

Anthony had noticed how Mr Scott had taken an interest in (Y/N), he never thought she felt the same.

Benedict continued. “You’ll accept him if he comes down properly on one knee?”

“Most likely, yes.” She said, pausing to look ahead for a moment. “He’s rich, respectable.”

When Benedict stifles a laugh, she lightly slaps his arm and Anthony has to fight back a smile. “Don’t make fun.” (Y/N) reprimands him.

"I’m not, I’m not, I promise.” He pauses. “It does sound odd coming from you.”

"I've always known that I would marry rich. Why should I be ashamed of that?"

"There is nothing to be ashamed of, as long as you love him." Benedict answers in a more serious tone.

Once upon a time Anthony would have easily seen himself at his brother's place, talking about love, but not anymore.

"Well, I believe we have some power over who we love, it isn't something that just happens to a person." (Y/N) says, closing the trunk with her paints, pencils and brushes inside.

"I think the poets might disagree." Benedict offers softly.

"Well, I'm not a poet, I'm just a woman.” She reminds him. “And as a woman I have no way to make money, not enough to earn a living and support my family. Even if I had my own money, which I don't, it would belong to my husband the minute we were married. If we had children they would belong to him not me. They would be his property. So don't stand there and tell me that marriage isn't an economic proposition, because it is. It may not be for you but it certainly is for me."

For the first time since he stopped to hear the conversation, hiding himself between the curtains, Anthony felt like he had overstepped a boundary, so he made quick work of fleeing the scene, her words echoing inside his head.

Anthony remembers Benedict joking about how him and (Y/N) would make a good match. He listens as his brother tells him about the conversation he had with her and Anthony feigns ignorance to the subject, despite having heard the entire interaction. Benedict’s voice turns into white noise in the background as Anthony is transported back to a conversation he had with Daphne last season.

At the time he didn’t understand his sister’s words—perhaps, he never would. Daphne and (Y/N) shared the same struggles, but his sister had been set in marrying for love, (Y/N), on the other hand, had already resigned herself about having to marry for convenience.

It was then that Anthony recognized that the both of them were, indeed, a good match. (Y/N) was beautiful, well mannered, educated and very good at charming people. She came from a not very rich but respectable family. Anthony knew he was one of the most eligible bachelors of the season, despite his fame as a rake. It wouldn’t be a sacrifice to marry (Y/N), which made making the decision so much easier.

Anthony visited her the next day, explaining his proposal to her.

“You listened to us?” She blinked a couple of times, trying to digest the information.

“Yes,” he confessed, “and I’m terribly sorry for it, but we have to recognize that this might have been for the best.”

He observed as she took a deep breath, her chest rising and falling, a little frown on her face. She was beautiful this way. Even more than when she was charming half of the ton in the many social events he had seen her.

“If you don’t mind me asking, my lord, why marry now?”

Anthony sighed. “My mom has been forcing my hand since Daphne married. Even before that, if I’m being honest. It’s time to find a good wife, settle down, and fulfill my duties.”

“Don’t take my question as an offense, but why me?”

She seemed unable to quite grasp his words. Anthony wondered if she still hoped, deep down, to marry for love and that her conversation with his brother had been only a fickle attempt to protect herself.

“You’re intelligent, (Y/N),” He kneeled in front of her. “You are beautiful and your family is respectable. If you are serious about your words to my brother, we both want the same thing from such a union.” He paused. “Would it be so bad to be married to me?”

(Y/N) bit her lip and Anthony caught himself observing the action with a little more intent than he should.

“No, my lord, I believe it wouldn’t,” she said.

“Then why not make the best we can from a predicament we can’t escape?”

She averted his gaze, looking out to the balcony where her maid was sitting and reading a book, while watching over them.

Anthony took the opportunity to look at her—hair carefully brushed and pinned up, the way the light contrasted with her silhouette, making it easier to see her nose, her lips, the  curve of her neck…

“If I were to accept your proposition, would you be committed to this relationship?”

He frowned. “I don’t understand.”

“I know that for our society standards maybe that’s too much to ask, but if I can’t be loved I’d wish to at least be respected.” She looked straight into his eyes and then Anthony understood what she was asking of him.

“You have my word that once we are engaged the only woman in my life will be you.”

Anthony asked her father for permission to court her in the same day, then he got properly down on one knee a second time to ask for her hand in marriage, the two of them married within months. Benedict had been shocked by the whole ordeal, but all he cared about was seeing his brother and his friend at least a little bit happy.

The process of knowing each other had been smooth, a lot easier than what Anthony first anticipated. (Y/N) took her duties as the lady of the house seriously, making a point of listening to Violet quite often. His siblings seemed to adore her even more than they liked him, and although inexperienced, as he knew she was, (Y/N) had proved herself to be a good lover. For all of those reasons, Anthony thought that keeping his promise wouldn’t be such an impossible task.

Then he discovered that Sienna had never left town and Anthony, who always prided himself in being a man of his word, proved himself to be as bad as the rest of the men he was surrounded by.

He fell back into the sheets with Sienna, and not long after that his relationship with (Y/N) became purely a show. At first, Anthony thought his wife was oblivious to his escapades, but he had clearly underestimated (Y/N)’s intelligence.

They never shared a bedroom, but there was no disguising how his visits to her chambers happened less and less, as there was no denying the gossip of the house staff that could only lead her to his broken promises.

Anthony expected a fight, things being thrown at him, screams and hits, but they never came, and that was somewhat worse.

One night when he got home after meeting Sienna, (Y/N) was sitting in the dressing room between their chambers, knitting. She lifted her eyes from her work to bid him good night. It didn’t go unnoticed to him how her smile fell from her face as she took in his disheveled state. Anthony felt ashamed for the first time in years.

(Y/N) didn’t give him time to explain himself for being so late—maybe it was for the best because he honestly didn’t know if he could find a suitable excuse for that—she just got up, leaving her unfinished work resting in the loveseat, and marched to her room.

Anthony sighed, throwing his coat away carelessly. The force knocked out (Y/N)’s knitting to the ground and Anthony groaned before bending down to take it. He furrowed his brow when he recognized the pattern—an onesie.

Maybe Daphne was pregnant again? She would’ve told him, right? Simon would, for sure. Then it hit him. Holding the unfinished piece between his fingers, Anthony realized that that was the reason why (Y/N) had stayed awake waiting for him until that hour—she was pregnant and wanted to tell him the news. Instead of the happiness she must have expected, she only received the sight of an unfaithful husband and a broken marriage.

(Y/N) never mentioned it to him and Anthony pretended as if he didn’t know, waiting for her to make the first move, tell him at her own time. (Y/N) never said it though, but he couldn’t ignore the knowledge, and the more time he passed observing her, the more evident it became to him that his wife was, in fact, expecting their first child.

In no time she distanced herself from him and all came to the point of no return in the night where she had gone through the loss of their child alone while he was rolling in the sheets with Sienna.

Anthony tried to reach out to her, succeeding only one time, a week after that fateful night, but in the following weeks, there hadn’t been much talking between them. (Y/N) would barely answer his greetings or the occasional question he threw her way trying to start a conversation. They had a few events to attend and these were the only occasions where she would grant him more than a couple of words. Anthony knew that that was all pretend for the sake of their reputation.

She refused every attempt he made to apologize or explain himself—not that there was much to explain. He couldn’t blame her, even if he wanted her forgiveness. It was her right to hate him and not want him around after he broke his promise to her.

They had never talked about it. Not until today.

(Y/N) was holding Augie, smiling down at the baby that smiled back at her, barely blinking with a look of pure adoration in his eyes.

“This one seems really enchanted by you,” Daphne comments, caressing her son’s little fingers.

“He’s just getting used to me,” (Y/N) answered,  smiling at his sister.

“Well, it’s good training, since I guess you and Anthony will probably have one of your own soon.”

Is as if Anthony’s blood turns to ice. He looks at his wife whose expression turns into shock and then sadness in the blink of an eye. He recognizes the tears pooling in her eyes as she gives the baby back to Daphne and excuses herself, leaving the drawing room too quick not to draw attention.

He hurries back after her. Simon gives him an apologetic look to which Anthony answers with an equally sad smile. It doesn’t take him long to find her, bend down in the windowsill of one of the windows of the library, one hand covering her mouth to muffle her sobbing while the other rested on her belly.

(Y/N) doesn’t hear his approach, but when he touches her as if she was expecting him too. She jumps as far away from him as she can get as if his touch burned her.

“Don’t touch me! Don’t…” she doesn’t finish the sentence but Anthony could hear it loud and clear in his head.

Don’t touch me with the same hands you’ve touched her just a week ago.

“Okay, it’s okay,” Anthony reassures her, raising his hands so she can see them. “I won’t touch you if you don’t want me too, but I want to help you.”

“Nobody can help me,” she sobs, hands clutching tightly at her dress.

The sight breaks his heart. Anthony wants nothing more than to take her pain away and make it his, even though he is mourning the loss of their child with her. He knew her pain was fairly worse than his, she did not only lose a child but she had been losing her husband too.

“Why, Anthony? Why us? There are so many couples that don’t love each other and still have children, why can’t we?”

Anthony takes a step forward, then two, and then he’s bringing her into his arms, wrapping her tightly against his chest, his chin resting at the top of her head. She struggles against his touch a little, but she’s so worn out that it doesn’t take much for her to relax into him.

(Y/N) fists the lapels of his waistcoat, resting her forehead against his chest, letting herself cry.

“I wanted them so bad, Anthony,” she whispers between sobs, “so bad.”

Me too, he wants to answer. Me too.

They stay in the library, in silence, for a while. When (Y/N) finally stops crying, exhausted, Anthony takes her home without even saying goodbye to his family, sending a maid to let them know his wife was not feeling well.

Their relationship shifts after that day. (Y/N) appears so exhausted by the recent events that slowly, she starts to let her guard down again. Anthony is careful when dealing with her, his wife is fragile and the sadness in her runs so deep that he is always afraid to say or do something that will put her through more pain.

“You don’t have to worry so much, you know.” She says, making him look up from his papers to see her already staring back at him.

“I always worry.”

“I won’t break if we talk about it,” she guarantees. “We have to talk about it.”

Anthony is not sure if she’s talking about their baby or Sienna. Either way it wasn’t exactly a conversation he was eager to have.

“How are you?” He asks before he can contain himself. Anthony wanted to ask that for a while but never found the opportunity.

“Healing,” she answers, “or trying to.”

He nods, nervously picking at his nails.

“When did you discover?” She asks.

“The onesie.” He looks up at her.

“The onesie,” she scoffs.

“You were… waiting for me?” His question is almost inaudible, full of regret and shame, but Anthony knows that she heard him.

“Yes,” she answers, “I was.” There’s a pause, and then the blow to his face. “Obviously you were occupied with more important matters, my lord.”

“(Y/N)—”

“I know about her,” she confesses. “I’ve always known, just didn’t want to acknowledge it and have to face the fact that my husband, the one that promised to respect me, at least, had so quickly forgotten his own word.”

“It’s not your fault.” He tries to explain but it seems like (Y/N) has had enough of silence.

“Oh, I know, my lord. This is entirely your fault.” She paused. “And hers. Not that it will matter for anyone, I’ll be the one to blame, after all.”

Her words cut through him the same way they did the week after her miscarriage: it’s always the woman’s fault. Hers or Sienna’s, it didn’t matter. Anthony would never understand the full extent of the pain it was to be a woman in their society, he would never fully understand how much he put her through and yet, would never be blamed for it.

There’s no answer to her words, no explanation for his behavior or broken promises. All he can do is watch her swallow the tears that were threatening to fall and take a deep breath. Anthony opens his mouth to speak but she beats him to it.

“That night,” she says, “the night I… lost our child. You were with her.”

It wasn’t a question, but Anthony felt the need to answer it anyway, his voice low with shame.

“Yes.”

“I see,” she hums.

“If I could go back—”

“The outcome would have been the same.” She says.

“It doesn’t change the fact that I should have been there for you.”

“Yes, you should have.”

Anthony always knew that, since the moment he put foot inside their house and heard her screams, but hearing her say it had another weight.

“Are you still seeing her?” She asks, looking at him.

“No, it won’t happen again.”

(Y/N) scoffs. “Forgive me if I have trouble believing in it, my lord.”

“I know I haven’t been a good husband. God, I have been barely a good man since we married, but I promise you, I’ll learn from my mistakes and I’ll do better by you. I’ll be a better man, a better husband, one that you deserve and maybe, just maybe, I’ll get close to deserve you.”

The following days, they start to talk more during meals, and the silence that falls between them when they’re both at the drawing room—Anthony working and (Y/N) reading—is not uncomfortable anymore. Each day that passes makes Anthony believe that they can fall back into the friendship they had right after they married.

He doesn’t see Sienna again. Anthony sends her a letter telling her that they should stop seeing each other because he doesn’t want to hurt his wife anymore. Which is the truth. Every time he thinks about the last time he met Sienna, his wife’s cries of pain and sorrow plague his mind and he just can’t see himself hurting her even more than he already had without even realizing it.

Anthony watches her playing with Gregory and Hyacinth in the garden. His younger siblings are fighting for her attention but she doesn’t seem to mind, going back and forth in between the two of them with ease. Then she looks at him, a huge smile on her face that made him smile too. Her attention was quickly snatched from him to his siblings again and Anthony felt a pang of jealousy in his chest—he didn’t want to share her attention.

In the past few weeks, Anthony discovered that his wife was more than the character of the perfect wife that she played for the ton. She was very much real and very much a woman with desires and ambitions. Everything that happened between then made her more bold, she didn’t take his poor excuses anymore, she talked openly about all sorts of things and Anthony caught himself wanting to listen.

“Hum, did you finally realize that you got a diamond in your hands, then?”

Anthony turned his head to look at Benedict, who had a hint of a smile playing on his lips.

His relationship with Benedict was stranded since his brother discovered about Sienna. Anthony didn’t blame Benedict, he was friend’s with his wife since they were kids. He only had himself to blame for being so foolish.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Anthony answered, not bothering to pretend he wasn’t observing their siblings with (Y/N).

“Keep lying to yourself then,” Benedict smirked, turning away to leave.

Anthony called after him. “Will you ever forgive me?”

Benedict sighed. “I’m not the one who has to forgive you. I just expected more from my brother.”

“I know,” he agrees. Benedict makes a move to go out the door, and then comes back, pulling Anthony into a hug.

“Look, I could say a thousand things to you, but nothing will undo what’s done.” Benedict says when they part, a hand resting on Anthony’s shoulder. “Just… learn from your mistakes and do better. You’re my brother and I love you, but trust me when I say that you don't deserve (Y/N). Can you imagine what mother would have done to our father if they ever found themselves in the same situation?”

“They loved each other,” Anthony protested to prevent his mind from wandering.

“You are truly oblivious, brother of mine.” Benedict scoffed.

His brother’s word haunted him for the rest of the day and all the way back to their home. Always perceptive, his change in behavior didn’t go unnoticed by (Y/N).

“What happened,” she asked when they were alone in the dressing room.

Anthony hummed, turning around to look at her and trying not to get distracted by her beauty as she braided her own hair after taking off the jewelry.

“Nothing.”

Her reflection raises a brow at him.

“Do better,” she warns, getting up and walking up to him, face softening as she stands in front of him. “You know you can tell me anything, don’t you?”

He nods, taking one of her hands and bringing it to his face. Anthony’s eyes close.

“Is it about her?”

The question gets him off guard. His eyes open instantly to look at her and he drops (Y/N)’ hand instantly.

“No,” he answers, “no,” he adds firmly, cradling her face in between his hands. “There is no one else in my life but you. There won’t be no one else in my life but you.”

“Anthony…” She breaths, closing her eyes as her delicate hands take hold of his wrists.

He wants nothing more than to kiss her, but refrains. It’s not the time for that. They’re both healing and he doesn’t want to taint whatever it is they’re creating by getting ahead of himself. Instead, Anthony presses his lips to her hair, inhaling her scent.

“Stay with me tonight,” he pleads, not sure where the urge to stay close to her came from. Anthony expects her to put up a fight, but (Y/N) only nods, murmuring an okay, before guiding him to her room.

It’s the first time since that fateful night that the both of them sleep through it, getting up later than usual the other day.

Their first kiss after everything that threatened to push them apart for good, happens so suddenly that none of them expects it.

(Y/N) had received the news that one of her younger sisters was going to marry the man she loves, her happiness made her throw herself at him and before either of them could realize, they were kissing each other.

It was just a chaste peck on the lips at the beginning. When they realized what had just happened they parted, his wife didn’t bother to step away from him to escape his embrace. They just stared at each other, eyes flicking between their eyes and their lips and then she placed a hand at the back of his neck, bringing him close to seal their lips again.

Anthony responded in kind, his hands on her waist, traveling up her back as he tasted her. It was like he was kissing her for the first time. They were discovering each other again, learning what each other felt like.

Desperately, Anthony wanted to discover what the strange feeling at the pit of his stomach was. Since before they married (Y/N) made him feel different, something he couldn’t put a finger on. He pushed it down to the depths of his mind—the last thing he needed was feeling something other than respect and partnership for his wife.

He protested when (Y/N) parted her lips from his and it took him a second to notice Benedict standing at the door, a smirk on his lips.

“I’m sorry to interrupt, I just wanted to let you know that our mother is waiting for (Y/N) downstairs. Something about the charity?”

“Oh,” his wife exclaimed, “I had forgotten about it,” she said, wriggling herself away from his arms, making Anthony growl in frustration.

If she noticed, (Y/N) made a good job at ignoring it. The same couldn’t be said about his brother.

“I figured,” Benedict smirked.

“Not a word,” (Y/N) warned as she passed him by, slapping his arm playfully.

“Yes, ma’am.”

Anthony watched as she turned around, stealing one last glance at him before disappearing and taking his breath away with her.

“Huh,” Benedict hummed, “I see.”

Rolling his eyes, Anthony asked, “And what do you see, dear brother?”

“You love her.”

“Nonsense,” he protested, “we’re just good partners.”

“Good partners don’t kiss like that.”

The ride home was silent, but Anthony’s heart fluttered in his chest when (Y/N) searched for his hand. Could Benedict be right? Did he really fall in love with his wife? He frowned while looking out of the window of the carriage and (Y/N) might have noticed it, because she made a move to take her hand away from him. Anthony didn’t let her.

“What’s going on in your mind?”

“Something Benedict said to me.”

“If it is about the kiss, don’t mind him. It won’t happen again.”

Anthony looked at her exasperated.

“I surely hope you’re not serious about that.”

“Anthony…”

“How can I live without your kisses again is unknown to me.”

“You lived quite well without them all your life,” she smiles, shyly.

“But now that I know them, I can’t anymore.”

Painfully slowly, she moves closer, giving him the chance to meet her halfway and bring their lips together again.

It’s like a breath of fresh air on a hot summer day and Anthony can’t seem to get enough of her. They get so distracted that they don’t even realise the carriage has stopped in front of the house until the door is open.

Recomposing themselves, he observes as (Y/N) giggles at the situation and feels his heart flutter at the image.

As they prepare to retire for the night, Anthony stops for a minute before following her into her room—he has been doing that for quite a few nights.

When she notices that he hasn’t entered the bedroom, (Y/N) looks back at him with a frown.

“Anything’s wrong?”

Anthony smiles, “No, nothing’s wrong,” he answers, as she extends her hand for him to take, and they retire for the night.

[qilingxiong]

九龍城寨之圍城 | Twilight of the Warriors: Walled In (2024)

I've rewatched this movie more than once, since seeing it in theatres back in August, and each time was just as good as the first if not better. Given that, I now have many thoughts so I'm subjecting y'all to listening to why you should watch it:

Twilight of the Warriors: Walled In (九龍城寨之圍城 or gau2 lung4 sing4 zaai6 zi1 wai4 sing4) is a martial arts action/crime film directed by Soi Cheang. It is an adaptation of the manhua City of Darkness by Andy Seto, and its source novel of the same name by Yuyi. The film's cast has established Hong Kong names folded in with newer-generation actors, starring Raymond Lam, Louis Koo, Sammo Hung, Richie Jen, Terrance Lau, Philip Ng, German Cheung, and Tony Wu (Aaron Kwok gets a cameo role, too).

At a broad glance, the movie follows several major triads in 1980s Hong Kong and their power struggle to control the Kowloon Walled City (a densely populated urban enclave, which for decades evaded direct governance by either the British colonial or Chinese powers in the area). We're introduced to the KWC and the triads' major players through the eyes of Chan Lok-Kwan (Raymond Lam), a man fleeing Vietnam and attempting to make a life for himself in HK. He winds up seeking refuge in the KWC, and comes to call both the city and the people he meets in it a home worth defending.

The narrative itself is not the most complex, but if you enjoy '80s Hong Kong films in these genres, it's solid fare and a harkening back to that decade. All the major themes like brotherhood (and brotherhood vs blood), vengeance, and struggle with conflicting loyalties are there, alongside an internal search for identity and belonging within Hong Kong. But the highlight in it is that the plot connects feast after feast of utterly stunning fight choreography, made all the more impressive by the fact that, according to Louis Koo, quite a few major cast members had never filmed this kind of action before. All their training was done just for TotW, and oh, does it pay off. I can't make good gifs, so you'll have to watch and see for yourself. It's not action for action's sake, either; listening to the head stunt choreographer discuss how different characters' fighting styles were crafted shows off how fight scenes aren't breaks in the story, they tell the story, and deepen our understanding of the characters.

The setting of the Kowloon Walled City truly makes the action in TotW stand out. It's a unique space to stage all these major fights, as the KWC's buildings at the time were packed together close enough to resemble a singular block from the outside. Once inside, it's a stacked, dark maze of uneven paths, stairs, and rickety roofs, with electrical and television cabling snaking over/around/through everything. Fight scenes in these streets feel thrillingly claustrophobic, with lots of acrobatics and near-dodges as characters navigate these tight alleys of the KWC. Each impact as a character goes flying into a wall, or is launched down a flight of stairs or onto a roof, is wonderfully visceral to watch.

All credit and hopefully awards are due to the production and set design teams for their work, in crafting this environment for the story and its fights. The visual/spatial representation of the KWC is the film's other glorious highlight, alongside the choreography. Whole streets of the KWC were recreated for this, filled with every mundane, period-accurate detail from the lives of ordinary people who would have lived there. It's impossible to catch all the intricacies put into making the KWC come to life again onscreen, just from watching the film. Shots like the credits sequence offer close-ups of harder-to-see details, and videos like a tour of the KWC set by Terrance Lau, acting as his character Shin, show off things from the drinks in the fridge at the corner store to the scribbled writing on the walls by the public taps. This film was designed with a drive to faithfully represent what the Kowloon Walled City had been like, how it looked when it was lived in, and they achieved it to an incredible degree.

That dedication extends to more than just the sets, though. The emotional core of TotW revolves around the KWC's inhabitants, and how they were the ones who made the city what it was, a home for about 35,000 people at a time. The film doesn't treat the KWC as just an eye-catching location to stage some fights; its characters might be fictional and overloaded with jianghu powers, but it goes out of its way to show how ordinary people might have lived, worked, and socialized within the historic city. It shows off why, despite its (not unwarranted) dark reputation, so many chose to live in a place that was once the densest urban center on the planet.

And this brings us to the acting, because the cast all do a very good job bringing their characters to life as the heart of the KWC. Louis Koo is fucking fantastic and arguably the scene stealer of the film as Cyclone, the triad leader in current charge of the KWC. He's grumpy, magnetic, and dangerous when he must be, but he also cares so very, very deeply about the inhabitants within his jurisdiction. Terrance Lau's Shin acts as his charismatic and capable right hand man, as well as protégé to Cyclone, befriending Chan Lok-Kwan and helping him become accustomed to life in the KWC. These two, along with the snarky Twelfth Master (Tony Wu) and the masked + imposing AV (German Cheung) become a quartet with great chemistry and friendship, the next generation to watch over and protect the Kowloon Walled City. Outside the KWC cast, antagonist figures like Sammo Hung, Philip Ng, and Richie Jen's characters are intimidating and compelling as threats to the city, and the lives people have etched out within its walls.

All of these things put together, and Twilight of the Warriors is a deeply fun, enjoyable, and rewatchable film (so good, in fact, that Hong Kong has submitted it as its nomination for the 2025 Oscars). The movie doesn't lose its emotional throughline in the promise of an action-packed ride it fully delivers on, and it uses its narrative, setting, and choreography to pay tribute to an earlier era of Hong Kong, as well as highlight + humanize a piece of the region's history that might not be quite as well known to some.

(The Kowloon Walled City was demolished and its inhabitants relocated in 1993. The area where it once stood is now a park, with some historic buildings preserved. If you're curious about people in the KWC before demolition, City Of Darkness: Life In Kowloon Walled City (1993) by Greg Girard and Ian Lambot is a collection of photographs and first-hand recountings from residents, recording their lives and stories. I'm in the midst of reading it right now.)

If anything I've said has piqued your interest whatsoever, I say to give Twilight of the Warriors a try, if you have a free two hours to spare. Something in it will be worth it for you. And if I've failed to convince you with any of this, or you need one more push, here's the trailer for the film:

And if I did manage to actually get anyone to seek out this movie, please tell me! I'd love to know your thoughts.

[arminreindl]

The Cryptic Crocs of the Caribbean

I have been positively swamped with work and other responsibilities and of course that's just when theres a lot of really interesting papers coming out. The subject of this particular post is something a little more recent than my usual focus, by which I mean it concerns crocodiles very much alive right now.

In "Novel island species elucidate a species complex of Neotropical crocodiles", author Jose Avila-Cervantes and colleagues present a large scale project attempting to establish a more robust history of neotropic crocodiles by taking a closer look at species and population divergences, specifically through genomic and phenotypic data.

Part of the stated goal was to try and shine a closer light on the relationships among the neotropic species of Crocodylus (consisting of Morelet's crocodile, the American crocodile, Orinoco crocodile and Cuban crocodile), who's phylogeny remains somewhat poorly known. One of the complicating features is the poor fossil record. I've mentioned it before, but as it is currently understood, the oldest neotropic crocodile is C. falconensis from the Pliocene of Venezuela, which sits outside the modern species and might be most closely related to the Miocene C. checchiai from northern Africa, by extension establishing a link to today's African species. Beyond that tho the American fossil record is poor, with fossils typically only identifyable to the genus level (not counting some island localities preserving the remains of Cuban crocodiles). The second complicating feature is the fact that neotropic crocodiles seem to be quite fond of interbreeding, with hybrid populations between American and Morelet's crocodiles present along the Yucatan Peninsula and possible hybrids between Cubans and Americans on, well, Cuba.

The four classically recognized species of the neotropics, the large American crocodile (Jose's crocodile river tour, top left), the agressive Cuban crocodile (Steve Cooper, top right), the humble Morelet's crocodole (yours truly, bottom left) and the slender-snouted Orinoco crocodile (Phoebe Griffith, bottom right)

Particular focus of the study is the American crocodile (Crocodylus acutus), given that it is without a doubt the most wide ranging of today's neotropic crocodiles. This species ranges from the Mexican Pacific coast to Florida and south to northermost Peru and Venezuela as well as a huge swath of the Caribbean, inhabiting both inland freshwater biomes as well as mangroves, islands and everything in between.

The current range of the American crocodile (Crocodylus acutus) via Data Basin

However, as a consequence the paper has found that there is quite a lot of genetic variation within this species, especially among the populations of the Mexican Pacific Coast and island populations. Now in terms of morphology it is noted that the range of American crocodiles is quite wide, with the phenotypes of island and mainland species overlapping. However it is also noted that there is only minimal overlap between the island forms themselves.

Especially distinct are two populations found south-east of Yucatan, namely those of Cozumel island and the atoll of Banco Chinchorro. Phylogenetic trees actually suggest that these two form their own branch among American crocodiles that is positioned as the sister clade to all other populations. The two populations are noted for their surprisingly diverse genetic pool, no signs of admixture with other populations and an estimated population size of about 500 individuals each (as is highlighted by the study, this is about 10 times more than previously thought).

A crocodile in the waters around Banco Chinchorro by javie.33

As a consequence, the team supports the not-that-new idea that Crocodylus acutus is a species complex rather than a single well separated species, with the Banco Chinchorro and Cozumel populations judged to be distinct enough to warrant being given their own species names. Now the team has refrained from coining those (so far), but at least suggests naming them after their home islands. If this comes to pass and is widely accepted, then this would essentially make the two "cryptic" species, something thats happend before in crocodile research. Just to give a concrete example, similar things have previously happened with the split between Nile and Sacred crocodile (C. niloticus and C. suchus) as well as the two New Guinea crocodiles (C. novaguinea and C. halli). Furthermore, the fact that these two are distinct opens up the possibility that other populations could likewise be a lot more different than previously thought once enough genetic data is collected. One such population not given much attention in this study would be the "hybrid" population on Cuba, which the paper off handedly suggests could also represent a cryptic species.

To take a brief detour, the paper does spend some time highlighting some of the stuff that makes the Chinchorro species so distinct. Physically, they differ from their Cozumel relatives by having longer and broader skulls and subtle differences in their armor. Even their ecology is different, appearing to consume more hard-shelled prey.

Compared to other populations in general, they seem to produce smaller and fewer eggs than other populations, something that could have to do with the high salt content of the local waters. Their entire growth rate appears to be lower, taking longer to reach the same size as their relatives and females become sexually mature at a smaller size. Despite all of this however, they are doing quite well for themselves with a respectable success rate aided by the lack of predators. Following the research done on the population, the main threats to hatchlings seem to be heavy rainfall and tropical storms. What's even more interesting however is the relationship between the Banco Chinchorro crocodiles and the salinity of their surrounding environment. As is known, true crocodiles of the genus Crocodylus may have different habitat preferences, but as a whole they are quite capable of dealing with saltwater, having allowed their dispersal across much of the planet. Now the paper mentions that though prefering freshwater, Morelet's crocodiles can tolerate a salinity of up to 22 ppt (parts per thousand) while the typical American crocodile inhabits environments with a salinity of around 34 ppt. Now get this. The salinity at the Banco Chinchorro atoll ranges from 30 to 65 ppt with an average of 52.9 ppt, the highest salinity tolerated by a member of this genus.

Like the famed saltwater crocodile, American crocodiles are well known for entering saltwater.

As a final point, the study goes on to highlight the positive aspects that coining two new species could have. While populations would obviously be quite small and both islands face similar dangers, they suggest that this could be a great opportunity to use the Cozumel and Banco Chinchorro species as umbrella or flagship species to promote not only the protection of the crocodiles but also of all the other animals that inhabit this part of the world as well as their habitats as a whole. To this extent, its good to hear that while Cozumel is a partially urbanized tourist destination, some of its most important crocodile populations inhabit protected areas while all of Banco Chinchorro is a Biosphere Reserve.

Left: Naturally a major threat to these animals is habitat destruction and conflict with humans, as one can imagine might arise given their proximity to tourist beaches as recorded by Iliana Acosta Right: Over at the protected Banco Chichorro meanwhile it seems that you can actually dive with crocodiles. (Photo by Oceanographic Magazine)

As a final note I just want to say that I'm very excited to see these two animals described in proper and what other cryptic crocodiles might be found elsewhere. And of course I hope that they get the protection they need so that they are preserved for future generations.

[mystxmomo]

hi hiii

so. what if. iiii. enabled u to be autistic on the internet again :3c

i wanna hear your thoughts on eilistraee and vhaerauns relationship! the nitty gritty, the dynamics, how they think of each other vs how they act, and how thats changed over time+how its reflected in their church

im ADORING all your posts on it if i could id print them out and eat them 🫶

Okay. So this is officially the third part of my "I need to go crazy on some character analysis" Saga. My analysis on Vhaeraun is Here, and my analysis on Eilistraee is Here. I recommend, if you're stumbling across this post in the wild as tumblr tends to do, reading those two first so that you have an idea of how I see these two characters and where the basis of my argument for their characterization comes from. If I need to reference something from either post, I'll quote it here. But y'know. Need be said.

Okay so.

I believe this post is going to the most subjective of mine. I am going to try and pull up canon screenshots from War of the Spider Queen, The Lady Penitent, and Evermeet, but unlike how you kind of get told directly how the drow gods behave and hold themselves and a lot of things end up getting built on them, I would argue so many hands have touched DnD and so many interpretations of their relationship have sprung up over the books that it's hard to give a truly simplified "This is how they see one another."

Water is wet statement, relationships are complicated.

Anyway. Given what my thesis is, I am going to be talking a fair bit about abusive family dynamics in this one as well. My goal for this (and any character relationship I do, really) if to try and keep it very fair. I think a of people make the mistake when talking about Eilistraee and Vhaeraun's relationship of picking a side. Like this idea of one of them being right and one of them being wrong and needing to "Fix" the other. And I don't think that's true at all. I think to be able to understand why they feel the way they do about one another and why their relationship is the way it is, you need to respect both of their characters individually.

(Granted, I think this should be true of any relationship you're writing for in fiction. If I can preach for a second, I think even if you don't like a character, you have to be able to respect the character to properly portray them.)

Final note before I get into this. Everyone thank @abracadav-r again for being on screenshot duty. The posts wouldn't get done nearly as fast without them, they know exactly where to find these little moments.

So. That all said. Lets get into it.

I've made a smaller joke post about what I think their dynamic is like before here. But now that you're giving me the opportunity to do so, I will go indepth about it. Yes.

I'm kinda of the opinion that Eilistraee is more incorrect about Vhaeraun than Vhaeraun is incorrect about Eilistraee (But also that this is the result of DND Canon not being entirely fair to Vhaeraun.)

Let's get the discussion about my thesis about the Elven Pantheon being an analogy for an Abusive family on a divine scale out of the way first, because it's something I've mentioned a few time's, but only every really shorthanded. And I think here, in the discussion about relations, is a GREAT place to start and actually explore that.

Now. I should probably start by saying, I don't think this was intended by DnD. Like, I think when they were originally making this lore, it was the intention to just make a justifiable evil worth killing. DND came out of a time of the romantic fantasy, the very Tolkien and Fairytale esc ideas of good and evil and have this classic hero's journey power fantasy ideal to it. Other people have gone into depth about that origin with far better sourcing and dissection than I can ever hope to, but basically: DnD is absolutely (as all art is) a product of it's time and of the community it stemmed from.

However, I personally think those themes and ideas are a little outdated, and a modern audience (myself being the modern audience) tends to be more enthralled by very nuanced interpretations of good and evil, and find indepth character driven narratives more engaging. And I think that for what this mythos has become over the course of it's 60+ years of evolution, you can reinterpret the narrative to be a fascinating depiction of a mythos that echo's the abusive family structure.

Copying and Pasting from my Eilistraee Essay:

It is of my opinion that, when you look at the Eilistrae-Vhaeraun Dynamic and how they were treated by Lolth and Corellon, you're looking at a classic Golden Child/Scrape Goat dynamic. This is important to mention here because I do think that's important context within how Eilistraee (the person) see's and understands the world, and where her mind is at when it comes to the perception of her sense of self. To VASTLY oversimplify about how emotionally abusive family structures work by a lot, when you look at emotionally abusive families with siblings, you tend to find a pattern where one child ends up getting the bulk of the favoritism and affection (The golden child), while the other takes the bulk of the abuse and tends to take a of blame and is seen as being deserving of the abuse (The scrapegoat.) I'll get a little bit more into the specifics of what that means for their relationship in a later post.[*] Now. Calling her the Golden Child, but I don't think being the Golden Child is strictly a good thing. In a lot of ways, I think a lot of golden children end up very emotionally stilted, and I think you kind of see that in Eilistraee. She HAS to be the perfect one. And she's had this expectation to be The Good One placed on her shoulders since she was young. Golden Children are often blinded to the abuse their siblings face because they themselves are not subjected to the same kind of abuse.

[*] And well. It's that later post!

In emotionally abusive families, siblings tend to be pitted against eachother, either unintentionally as a result of the Golden Child being the subject of a parents time, attention, resources, and affection, or as a purposeful attempt on the part of a parent to put divides in a family. In the real life world, it is more often the first. I think a lot of people think Abusers are more like Lolth where there's an intentional "I looked at you and from the day you were born decided to make your life hell."

But I would argue the tricky thing about abusive family structures (Especially with parent-child situations), is that more often then not, the abusers love the idea of the person they're abusing. To them, what they're doing is love. It is very rare that an abuser is this knowing evil schemer that actively sits and thinks to themself that "That's my least favorite child, they don't deserve my attention."

(Though, as a small side tangent not immediately related to the fictional character, you might see this logic manifest more in the way finances are weaponized in abuse, especially see in America where college is more expensive and therefore often used as a control tactic. IE; My wonderful son wants to go into STEM, why would I waste money by giving it to my son who wants to do art college. Because people get comically evil about money.)

Instead, emotional abuse is often more insidious. It's... I'm going to put the blame on everything that goes wrong on my son (Who I left in the hands of his physically abusive mother to have his arm constantly bent behind his back by her) I can't bring myself to believe that my daughter would ever want to scheme against me. YOU could have been good once, but you're evil because you're not happy, you're too moody, you're too violent. I'm not even going to give you the chance or the environment to grow, because it's just in your nature to be evil, and because you are evil because you were born evil that all that goes wrong is your fault.

You know. That kind of logic.

So. Eilistraee was Corellon's Golden Child. She was the free spirited happy one. She was the one that loved to hunt and dance. She was the good one.

(But often, when a scrape goat leaves the family, the golden child becomes the new target.

Y'know. Like..

Corellon gave up on the idea of trying to turn his son Vhaeraun to abandon his ways. He vowed to kill Vhaeraun if he ever tried to hurt his sister. Nevertheless, the Masked Lord did threaten the Dark Maiden's life, without known action against him on Corellon's part.

Corellon's servant Solars claimed that, with this act, Eilistraee had exhausted her purpose, because the willing had been saved, and the unwilling cast down as a necessary sacrifice.

The in-story context for this being honestly worse and kind of containing bad racial implications:

“Her soul was destroyed,” Felarathael said solemnly. “But before she died, she saved many. She cleansed the taint from hundreds of drow who might otherwise have been condemned.” “But the rest!” Lashrael wailed. “Thousands! Hundreds of thousands! No hope of redemption for them, with Eilistraee gone. Condemned to darkness and despair, forevermore!” “Another necessary sacrifice,” Felarathael said without a trace of emotion. “Else the game would have been lost.”

This, to me, is the framework of Vhaeraun and Eilistraee's relationship.

Likewise, the Masked Lord nurtures an abiding hatred of Eilistraee. The Dark Maiden always held Corellon's favor more than her hateful brother, and she thwarted Vhaeraun's early efforts to bring all the Ilythiiri (southern, dark-skinned elves) under his sway, enabling Lolth and Ghaunadaur to make great inroads among those who would become the drow.

I'm under the impression that Eilistraee doesn't know Vhaeraun. She has this idea of who he is in her head seemingly both based on the what their father thought of him, and as a result of being an outsider looking at the things he did at the hand of his mother. (And again, let's be clear and establish in this post. That wasn't WHOLLY Lolth. Vhaeraun did play his part. But I don't think Eilistraee see's that, I think she strictly see's an eager climb for power) And then she makes a lot of assumptions about his motivations based on the idea of him she's made in her head that reaffirm that idea.

On the other hand, I think Vhaeraun understands exactly the kind of person his sister is, because it's really not that hard to understand who Eilistraee is. She really does just mean well. While I consider her to be a lot more guarded and lonely then people tend to give her credit for, I don't think she's being insincere with her wants and wishes and you don't have to doubt what her intentions are. Instead, the ways that I think Vhaeraun is often wrong about how well she can handle herself and how strong her allies are by 4e, and what that could mean for drow as a whole. Because he's so willing to discredit her as a threat, he doesn't pay attention to her, and because he doesn't pay attention to her I don't think he realized she'd gotten friendly to people like... Mysta the goddess of magic.

And being realistic, even if he had known, I don't think he understands the weight of her being friendly TO people like Mystra because he himself only ever makes allies, not friends amongst gods.

Now. The reason I capped that whole screenshot above is actually because it contains a very interesting bit of framework that I think proves this. Even back in the 2e source books, the phrasing of these things matters. If it was a matter of Vhaeraun thinking that something was the case, they would have mentioned it. However, the specific way that it's set up in that passage is: "It's not that Vhaeraun thinks Eilistraee's involvement in circumventing his climb to power allowed Lolth and Ghaunadaur to gain power. Her involvement DID allow Lolth and Ghaunadaur to gain power."

And I don't think she's aware of that. But Vhaeraun is.

To further this, we're to copy/paste a passage from Sacrifice of the Widow. Now. This is from the perspective of a Vhaeraun worshiper, and it holds as much bias as Eilistraee's priestesses have towards him. But. Because it correlates with metatextual information we have from all the way back in 1998, I'm inclined to say it's not a full dishonesty, just a biased truth.

The dance might have been beautiful, had it not been a violation of the sacred order. Had Eilistraee not interfered, Vhaeraun might have united all of the darkelves under a single deity millennia ago, but Eilistraee had proved as greedy as Lolth and had stolen the females away from the Masked Lord’s worship. She’d taught them to exclude males from her circle, to subjugate and revile them instead. Vhaeraun’s followers had learned a bitter lesson. Females could not be trusted.

Compare this to how Eilistraee speaks of Vhaeraun's influence in Evermeet: Island of the Elves.

Like... Eilistaee. There are bigger threats out there than your brother But. She's so blinded by her history with him that she can only ever see her brothers influence is a bloodstain on the land.

As I mentioned in my other post, I think Eilistraee is a biased narrator in this scene. I don't think Vhaeraun wants his sister to die for the crime of existing. I think his feelings on his sister are way more complicated than his feelings on either of his parents. And we know when Vhaeraun explicitly wants someone dead, because the text would have told us that.

...

So, to understand Vhaeraun and Eilistraee's relationship, I do think we need to talk about The Masked Lady.

Given how much of DnD is oral tradition and people building on concepts that the games give to us, I think people feel more comfortable engaging with some of these things through the wiki and building off of the idea of the ideas they get from the wiki without searching out the original source. And to be clear, this isn't like, judgement for doing that. Nevermind that the IP is older than I am twice over, that a lot of old blog posts are only acceptable through niche internet archive links, and that a lot the source books are neither applicable to 5e or still within print. I'M personally guilty of doing it all of the time.

Instead, the point I'm making is because of how the realms is set up and how people engage with DND, not a lot of people know when plot point comes from a source book, a blog post, a prose book, an official magazine, when something was fan-submitted and made canon, or Ed Greens personal twitter/discord. They all kind of merge together to create a collective canon. I think, as a result, a lot of people end up engaging with these concepts with the same amount of abstraction. But the thing about The Masked Lady is that they're like. A book character. This isn't just a concept that was placed out into world abstractly, they're a fully fleshed out character within The Lady Penitent.

This is important to us and our purposes of engaging with these characters on a more transformative level rather than at a dnd table. Being a character, we can look at how they behave and what the actual intent of their portrayal was. And I want to show you a few things, because I have an argument I would like to make given that portrayal.

==

A voice called to them: a voice that was neither male nor female, but both. A moment later, it became a pool of utter silence. Then song, then silence. Opposites, twined together, yet somehow harmonious. Side by side, the awarenesses that were Kâras and Valdar drifted to the place where the song-silence was coming from. It caught them like leaves and swirled them up toward itself. They drifted in front of an enormous face. Moonlight bathed the face’s upper half in shining radiance; the lower half was shadowed in utter blackness. A glint of blue danced across eyes the color of moonstones. Masked Lord, Kâras asked. Is it you? A feminine laugh rustled the mask. Masked … Lady? he ventured. The chuckle deepened, became male. Hands moved to the blackness that was the deity’s mask. Fingers gripped its edges. Kâras tensed, and felt the eager anticipation of the awareness that was Valdar. The mask lifted. Kâras wept. So did Valdar—and as he did, Kâras saw into the other Nightshadow’s heart. The emotions that had prompted their tears were as different as moonlight from shadow.

==

“Masked Lord,” Kâras prayed. “Is it your will the breach be opened? Have you—” He hesitated, then forced himself to say it. “Have you allied yourself with the Ancient One?” This time, the god answered. Not in words, but in the distant peal of a hunting horn. That alone wouldn’t have convinced Kâras; it might have been one of the priestesses, signaling the others. But as the horn sounded, a rectangle of darkness with two eyeholes appeared in the air a short distance away, within the tunnel leading to the ruined temple. The bottom of this “mask” fluttered, as if the mouth behind it were lending its breath to the hunting horn’s peal. Dots of angry red blazed where the eyes would have been. That decided it. Kâras wouldn’t run. He’d fight.

==

===

My argument about The Masked Lady is this: Despite taking a lot of Eilistraee's visage and Churches Iconograpy, When you look at how The Masked Lady behaves in practice I would argue that this isn't actually strictly Eilistraee. The Masked Lady feels like a new character that is both Vhaeraun and Eilistraee..... but also Neither Vhaeraun and Eilistraee. In that strictly esoteric kind of way, by merging their aspects together they've created a new god made of their parts.

And on one hand, you can read some of this as Eilistraee Masquerading as her brother to try and get his church to work with hers, but on an authorial level? I don't know if that was the intent. For one, I don't actually think Eilistraee is good at being manipulative, she's too well intentioned. She'd have fallen apart under the weight of that lie.

Granted, I do think with both of them being in there Eilistraee is more "in control." Vhaeraun is absolutely ""Dead"" in at least some ways. The piece he puts down representing himself is destroyed in the Sava game, Eilistraee ends up with his mask, and Lolth is able to show off his corpse in the astral plane.

But even all of that aside, I'm tapping in both Ed Greenwood's thoughts for this and something from Faiths & Avatars.

(I'm going to copy this summary from the FR wiki page on dead powers because, as always, it's quite good at summarization. But as always, I've double checked Faiths & Avatars to be sure)

Sometimes, the memory and personality of a deity was separated from their power and true form at the moment of their death, typically by the interaction of the magical turbulence of their death with the magic of a powerful relic or artifact into the same area. In such cases, the deity remained awake but imprisoned, in a sense, though vastly uncomfortable with their much-reduced state.

As such, I think during The Masked Lady era, three things were true simultaneously.

There was a part of Vhaeraun that was dead. That's the part of him on the astral plane. And even that part of him seemed to hold mild consciousness. But I also think a part of him was trapped by Mystra in a dream, and another part of him existed simultaneously within his sister creating a new entity as The Masked Lady, in the same way that Eilistraee seemed to both exist as herself AND The Masked Lady separate from herself as she's playing the Sava game. Because these are gods. Their existence does not exist in singularity.

But. Why does this matter to Vhaeraun and Eilistraee's relationship. Why do I think this is an important talking point for them.

Because I think the fact that they exist together implies a level of respect and understanding towards one another. This is not how this would have happened if they truly hated one another. What happened with Vhaeraun and Eilistraee seems closer to what happened with Zandilar the Dancer and Bast (Absorbed and became Sharess) or (Sehanine Moonbow, Aerdrie Faenya, and Hanali Celanil) > (Came together to become Angharradh and notedly, can separate to spent time apart as times have changed.)

This feels like. Notedly different, compared to what happened with (for example) Ulutiu and Auril, where he got entirely subsumed by her.

For a moment, they were one god. And they could have only synergized as one if they understood eachothers intentions well enough to agree to be one.

==

It's worth noting before I get into this section. Both the idea that Vhaeraun didn't actually die and was put in ⋆ ˚｡⋆⊹❇Mystra's Dream Prison <3 ❇⊹⋆ ˚｡⋆ and that upon returning to life he started working with Eilistraee are not actually ""canon"" to 5e. They are, like many things, Ed Green-ism's that a lot of people (myself included, because I do actually think he's an incredibly creative person with good character building ideas) take as canon. Despite taking it as canon, I think it's worth mentioning that there is no official source material to pull from for these ideas, because unlike the masked lady, these two ideas exist as concepts to be built off of rather than media to be examined.

We can only logic and reason what happened between them and how it's changed their relationship using everything else we have.

Posted from the FR wiki:

"The Grand History of the Realms explicitly says that Vhaeraun's assassination attempt failed and Eilistraee killed him. However, Ed Greenwood suggests that Eilistraee didn't actually kill her brother. The Dark Maiden defeated Vhaeraun with the indirect help of her ally Mystra, as the Weave frustrated the Masked Lord's magic while enhancing Eilistraee's. The goddess temporarily took her brother's portfolio, and trapped his sentience in the Weave, where it was enfolded in a dream by Mystra. The Lady of Mysteries did this to ensure that the two drow siblings would survive the cataclysm that she knew was coming—the Spellplague—in which she would be "killed" to renew the Weave and magic would go wild. After Mystra and the Weave were completely restored in 1487 DR, the goddess of magic could finally give Eilistraee her own lost power and do the same with Vhaeraun, after having awakened him from his dream."

It was one of Ed Greenwood's ideas to have the two deities reach a reciprocal understanding, and to make the personal enmity between them was no more. More to read here

So here's my take on this situation.

I think a lot of people like to paint the "Mystra and Eilistraee put Vhaeraun in Dream Prison" Situation in a very limited light. In the same way Eilistraee tends to get romanticized as a wholly good and Vhaeraun demonized as a firm evil, it tends to get boiled down to the idea that Mystra and Eilistraee managed to convince him to be "Less Evil."

But, I don't know. To accept the Mystra/Eilistraee tag team as something wholly good, you have to also accept the sentiment of Vhaeraun as someone who is evil and needed "fixed," and I don't think that's ever been the case. As I think my multitude of arguments have implied, I have never been under the impression he's an actual evil.

As such, it's always felt little bitter-sweet to me. I think it's more impactful if they just managed to rub off on eachother due to their time spent together as one. I think it was especially a turning point for Eilistraee, given how many changes came to the structure of her church as a result of that merger. She understands why he uses the tactics he does, she understands that what he's doing is coming from a place of (what I would argue) is sincere love for the drow as a whole, and I think she got a little bit more of a nuanced understanding of the uhh Sexism. I also like to think she understood his experiences more, and that his love doesn't come through the same lens as hers.

Likewise, I think Vhaeraun came out of that understanding that he was stretching himself thin. I think that he learned that he NEEDS to be able to rely on others, he NEEDS to start trusting the outside world more. While he's more accepting of drow as they are now, I think his goal has always been to put them back in power to the extent that they were when he had worship from the Ilythiiri. But, thats not the world they live in anymore. Even if he did pull all the drow from the underdark, they could not and would not manage to be that. I think he comes out of The Masked Lady era understanding that to get the drow away from his mother and to coexist is stability in itself. They don't need to rule to be powerful, they just need to coexist.

You know. It's choosing to forgive. We can't change what we were, but we can start this relationship over and grow something new from it. And sometimes, that might be enough.

....

And ALSO I think they had to start getting along, because it really didn't take their churches THAT long to start meshing together when they fused as the masked lady.

At the word “died,” the priestess glanced down at the male. The cleric didn’t look good; his eyes had fully rolled back in his head and his skin was turning gray. Halisstra reached out and lifted the priestess’s chin, forcing her to look away. “It’s only a weak venom,” she lied. “You have plenty of time to heal him. Plenty of time, still.” “Yes,” the priestess repeated softly. “Plenty of time.” Her eyes reminded Halisstra of another priestess who’d succumbed to Halisstra’s bae’qeshel magic, years ago. Seyll had stared just as trustingly into Halisstra’s eyes a heartbeat before Halisstra plunged a sword into her. And yet Seyll had told Halisstra, as she lay dying, that no one was beyond redemption—not even Halisstra. She’d been wrong. This priestess had a wide mouth and creases at the sides of her eyes that could only have come from frequent laughter. The frown of confusion looked out of place on her forehead. The slight bulge of her stomach hinted she might be carrying a child. Halisstra hated her.

Come on guys, The Masked Lady hadn't even existed for half a decade and there was already pregnancies. We don't know what their churches are like 100+ years out. But, for as much as Ed emphasizes the infighting of the churches (And I have no doubt in my heart there ARE factions who refuse to mesh, that's canon to the text) we are inevitably met with 1-2 generations where the combined churches are all that they knew. Vhaeraun and Eilistraee had to work together, because I think as much as they're their own people with thoughts and opinions and experiences, they are also a reflection of their worshipers.

==

I think, to summarize what I think Vhaeraun and Eilistraee's relationship is like in a few paragraphs

With the way their relationships are described, I think Eilistraee was the golden child and Vhaeraun was the scrapegoat in the earlier parts of their childhood. They become reflections of the parent that favors them, because those were the parents that acted as their main influence. Eilistraee saw Vhaeraun as a reflection of her mothers evil, and Vhaeraun saw Eilistraee as undeserving of the favoritism their father gave her.

This view of eachother was cemented when she followed him to Toril. She saw him and his power as an evil and bloodstain, unhelped when he exiled her (probably out of spite and due to the grudge he had as a result of the earlier years). As such, she worked to undermine the influence he had. And when that allowed their mother and Ghaunadaur to take hold, it was the same kind of evil to her.

Her enabling them to take that power worsened the grudge Vhaeraun had of her, because he knows he isn't the same kind of evil as Lolth or Ghaunadaur, and them having that power worsened things for everyone.

This grudge between them kept itself in the legacy of their churches, all the way until The Masked Lady Era. The Masked Lady era was one where they actually managed to come together for a similar goal. It was the first time they were truly about to understand eachothers motivations, experiences, and perspectives, and the first time that divide between them and their communities truly lessened.

And when they finally came out...? I mean. That's going to change anyone. I think not only their relationship changed, but they sort of managed to change eachother a little.

I don't know. I think their relationship is complicated and messy and such a product of their parents influence on them. There is no forgiving Lolth, and there really shouldn't be forgiving Corellon (though, dnd might disagree with me on that.) But I think theirs one that could eventually heal. Out of all of the relationships in the Dark Seladrine, theirs feels the closest to being one that can be refounded on equal ground and with respect towards one another, especially as drow return to the surface and find more acceptance (even outside of their communities.) Because they are to me, two sides of the same coin.

[30somethingautisticteacher]

Since it's 911 finale day and @judymarch15 's birthday I thought we needed some fluff ❤️

****

"Buck, are you sure this is something he wants?" Maddie asked, her voice laced with concern. "Think of Chim and the bachelor party. This needs to be about him, not you. Do you even know how he feels about birthdays?"

Buck felt a twinge of defensiveness, but deep down, he knew Maddie had a point. He just wanted to make Tommy feel special. He wanted to show him how important he was, not just to Buck, but to their entire family.

"I know, Maddie," Buck said, running a hand through his hair. "But Tommy is the best thing that's ever happened to me. He deserves to have the best 40th birthday ever."

Maddie's expression softened at the sincerity in her brother's voice. "I get that, Buck. I really do. But you need to talk to him. No surprises. Promise me."

Buck met his sister's gaze, seeing the wisdom in her words. "I promise," he said earnestly.

After hanging up with Maddie, Buck sat on the couch, lost in thought. He realized he'd been so caught up in planning the perfect celebration that he hadn't stopped to consider what Tommy truly wanted.

Later that evening, when Tommy returned home from his shift, Buck decided to broach the subject.

"Hey, babe," Buck started, as they settled on the couch after dinner. "I wanted to talk to you about something."

Tommy looked at him curiously. "Everything okay?"

Buck nodded, taking Tommy's hand in his. "Yeah, everything's great. I just...I just wanted to ask you about your birthday. Your 40th is a big deal, and I want to make sure we celebrate it in a way that makes you happy."

Tommy's expression was a mix of surprise and appreciation. "That's thoughtful of you, Ev. To be honest, I haven't given it much thought."

"Well," Buck continued, "how do you usually like to celebrate your birthday? Or how would you want to celebrate this one?"

Tommy was quiet for a moment, his expression thoughtful. "I haven't really celebrated my birthday in years, to be honest. If I'm on shift, there's usually a cake at work, but I've been alone on my birthday more often than not."

Buck felt his heart constrict at Tommy's words. The idea of Tommy spending his birthdays alone was painful to hear. Tommy deserved to be celebrated, to be surrounded by love and joy on his special day.

Trying to keep his voice steady, Buck asked, "What about your last milestone birthday? What did you do for your 30th?"

Tommy's face clouded over, a mix of pain and regret crossing his features. "I was at the 118 and I was an awful, closeted jerk. Honestly, I went to a gay bar, got drunk and hooked up with a guy. Then, I spent the rest of my birthday hating myself. It wasn't a great moment in my life, and definitely not a great birthday."

Buck reached out to his boyfriend, pulling Tommy into a tight embrace. He could feel the tension in Tommy's body, the pain leftover from those memories.

"I'm so sorry you went through that," Buck murmured, running a soothing hand up and down Tommy's back. "But you know what? That's not who you are anymore. You've come so far, and I'm so proud of you."

Tommy relaxed into Buck's embrace, his voice muffled against Buck's shoulder. "Thanks, baby. It means a lot to hear you say that."

As they held each other, Buck's mind was racing. He wanted more than ever to make this birthday special for Tommy, to create new, happy memories to replace the painful ones.

"Tommy," Buck said softly, pulling back slightly to meet his boyfriend's eyes. "I know you haven't had great birthdays in the past, but what if we changed that? This is your 40th. It's a chance for a fresh start, to create a celebration that truly reflects who you are now - the amazing, strong, out-and-proud man I fell in love with."

Tommy's eyes softened, a small smile tugging at his lips. "That sounds nice, actually. What did you have in mind?"

Buck grinned, his excitement building. "Well, that's what I want us to figure out together. This is your day, and I want it to be exactly what you want. Whether that's a big party with all our friends, a quiet dinner, or even a trip somewhere, whatever would make you happiest."

Tommy smiled, a warmth spreading through him at Buck's enthusiasm. "I guess I need to think about it. What did you do for your 30th?"

"Party with the 118 and then a camping trip with Eddie and Christopher," Buck replied. "It was great, but it was great for me...what would be great for you?" He paused, a new idea forming. "How about this? What was your favorite birthday as a kid?"

Tommy's eyes brightened at that, a nostalgic smile spreading across his face. "I guess it was my 10th birthday. It was before my mom got sick and before my dad started drinking. They woke me up and brought me a birthday cake in bed. Then we went to the go-kart track and then the art museum, just me, mom, dad, and my best friend Justin. Then for dinner, my mom cooked all my favorite foods and my grandparents, aunts and uncles, and cousins came over."

As Tommy spoke, Buck could see the joy in his eyes, could feel the happiness radiating from him as he recalled this precious memory. It struck Buck that this was perhaps the first time he'd seen Tommy so animated about a childhood memory.

"That sounds amazing, Tommy," Buck said softly, squeezing his hand. "What if we used that as inspiration? We could recreate some of those elements, but with our family now...the 118, my sister, your friends from Harbor. We could do something fun like go-karting, then maybe visit a museum or gallery you've been wanting to see. And for dinner, we could have a big family-style meal with all your favorites."

Tommy's eyes were shining now, a mix of emotion and excitement. "You'd do all that for me?"

Buck leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to Tommy's lips. "Of course I would. You deserve to have a birthday that makes you feel as special and loved as you did when you were ten. And I want to be the one to give that to you."

Tommy pulled Buck into a tight hug. "Thank you, Ev. Just...thank you."

As they gazed at each other, both men felt a deep sense of gratitude. Despite only being together for five months, they both knew this was it for them.

"You know," Tommy said softly, his hand cupping Buck's cheek, " I have a feeling this is going to be my best birthday yet."

Buck leaned into Tommy's touch, his heart full. "That's the plan. And it's only the beginning." He paused, excitement bubbling up inside him. "How about we take a look at the calendar and start figuring out the details?"

Tommy nodded, a smile spreading across his face. "Sounds good to me."

Buck reached for his phone, pulling up the calendar app. They huddled close together, heads bent over the screen.

"Okay, so your birthday is on a...Thursday," Buck said, scrolling to the date. "That's only three weeks away. Do you think you can get the day off?"

Tommy nodded. "I should be able to. What about you?"

"I'll make it work," Buck assured him. "Now, for the celebration with everyone else, should we do it on the actual day or maybe the weekend after?"

"It's short notice," Tommy mused, "but I think if we reach out to everyone soon, we might be able to make it work for that Saturday."

Buck nodded. "Great idea. I'll start putting together a group text to check everyone's availability."

As they continued planning, jotting down ideas and making lists, both men felt a surge of excitement.

"So," Buck said with a grin, "go-karts first, or cake in bed?"

Tommy laughed, the sound warm and full of joy. "Definitely cake in bed. But only if you're there to share it with me."

Buck's eyes twinkled with mischief. "Of course, and you know I'd be willing to start off with some other bed stuff too. Birthday boy's choice," he said with a suggestive wink.

As they continued their planning, both men felt grateful for this moment and excited for what was to come.

While Tommy was in the kitchen getting them some water, Buck quickly pulled out his phone to text Maddie.

Buck: "I talked to him Mads. You were so right. I think he's gonna have a great birthday."

Maddie's response came almost immediately.

Maddie: "Well not to say I told ya so but..."

Buck rolled his eyes, but couldn't help smiling as he typed his reply.

Buck: "Yeah, yeah Maddie you're so wise, I should always listen to you."

Maddie: "Damn straight but in all seriousness what did you decide on?"

Buck glanced up as Tommy re-entered the room, a soft smile playing on his lips as he began to type out a response to his sister.

Buck: "We're planning a day that recreates his favorite childhood birthday. Go-karts, art museum, family dinner. It's going to be amazing. Thanks for pushing me to talk to him."

As he hit send, Tommy settled back onto the couch next to him.

"Everything okay?" Tommy asked, noticing Buck's phone.

Buck nodded, putting his phone away. "Just updating Maddie. She's excited to be part of your birthday celebration."

Tommy's eyes softened. "I'm glad she'll be there. I'm glad everyone will be there."

Buck leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to Tommy's temple. "Me too. Now, where were we with the planning?"

As they dove back into the details, both men felt a renewed sense of excitement. This birthday wasn't just going to be a celebration of Tommy turning 40, it was going to be a celebration of new beginnings, of the family they'd found in each other and their friends, and of the love that had changed both their lives for the better.

[scratchpad-sagas]

Thoughts on Superman (2025)

TL;DR? 6 out of 10. Overall, it was a decent experience, but I'm afraid the negatives overshadow the positives. Still, I'm ready to see what comes next!

How is James Gunn's Superman? It's ok! It's not amazing, but it's not terrible, either. You can VERY MUCH tell it's a James Gunn film, though! His signature style shows off with flying colors throughout his first big foray into the DCU, from music choices to camerawork and comedic bits. The world is realistic yet vibrant and full of life! Passionate supporting elements brighten the setting, however, the main points just don't hit like they should. Clark Kent and Superman feel steamrolled into one flat personality, while side characters demonstrate a far wider range of dynamism. Details about the world are presented as clear-cut and obvious, but there's hardly any exposition to explain... anything.

Basically, Superman 2025 has the vibe of a good sequel, but it did NOT earn that distinction. As a movie intended to kick off a new era in DC films, that's not a good thing. On a surface level, I'm very much entertained! The film is both pretty and flashy, but it needs more fleshing out.

All that being said, though, while there IS a lot more to be desired, I'm far more hopeful for the DCU in James Gunn's hands. I'll definitely be giving this cinematic universe a chance, but maybe not in theaters...

[!!!Spoilers below!!! Read on if you dare...]

The concepts, designs, and set-ups in Superman are all fantastic, but too many bit-parts and poor writing muck up what might have otherwise been a <solid> starting point.

As a whole, the writing wasn't actually that bad! I can't tell if it's the script or the acting that's the problem, because Lois, Jimmy Olson, Guy Gardner... every other part worked their role wonderfully, but somehow it's Superman himself that falls short. To me, both Supes and Clark Kent sound as though they're both just reading off of a paper rather than truly acting the part. There IS emotion in David Corenswet's voice, yet it lacks a certain something, and that really doesn't help when thematic, emotional moments come up. This problem is most clear when Superman gives his big speech to Lex Luthor near the end of the film. He makes a beautiful, impactful point, yet it feels as though he's parroting a teleprompter. Previously, when Superman and Lois are chatting after Lex leaked his parents' "full" message to the world, the sentiment of the scene gets lost behind the events in the background. A supposedly stirring dialogue is smothered by the blur of the world around them, because outside the apartment, the Justice Gang are fighting some inter-dimensional entity and...

I didn't know what to focus on! Pick a thing. Either let the sentiment of the chat between Lois and Clark take the stage, or let the dynamics of the Justice Gang steal the show. One or the other.

This leads me to another point: too much. A LOT of things went on throughout Superman 2025, and in large part, I think that's because they went with the "you already know this story" idea. We weren't retold the story of Superman's origins because <we already know> that story! Great! Yes! Respect the audience and our knowledge of the subject. Unfortunately, that extra time is packed with things that catch the eye and never get <any> amount of explanation whatsoever. I have more questions than I do answers! The answers don't need to be long or complicated, just like not all exposition has to be long-winded dialogue! Given the purpose of the movie, I expected <something>, not... nothing. Again, I assume there was so little explanation because "we already know", right?

That's all I've got for major criticisms, really. As for the smaller details...

I'm not a fan of Krypto. I don't dislike him, but I don't <like> him either. He just seems like another one of too many, primarily comedic bits. However, the Super Bots? Super Robots? The robot dudes from the Fortress of Solitude were okay! They're definitely an interesting original detail to bring to the table. I can't help but feel as though they're just being ripped off from The Fantastic Four movie coming out in 2 weeks, what with their retro style and purpose echoing H.E.R.B.I.E. a LOT.

Oh, and one of the COOLEST details about the Fortress of Solitude [in my opinion] HAD to be the solar focusing lenses! To be able to fine point and almost strengthen sunlight, what a genius idea for a guy who literally recharges via the sun! I'm curious if it "came with" the Fortress, or if it was added later...

Also, why can the Fortress of Solitude retreat into the ground and come back out? What even is that?

On a different note, I KNEW something was up with that Hammer of Boravia guy! When articles started flooding the internet about how Gunn's Superman is "weak", I knew it had to be clickbait garbage... everyone knows it takes a LOT to damage Superman that badly, so there are only so many possibilities. Magic? Maybe. Supergirl? Might be. Secret Kryptonite embedded in the armor somewhere? Likely.

I think the best play of the movie is when the Hammer of Boravia, AKA Ultraman, is revealed to be a clone of Supes. <That> is the kind of long-term cunning I know Lex Luthor to be capable of, and it explains how thoroughly it managed to thrash Superman AND open the Fortress of Solitude (if I'm remembering correctly, it has been a few days). Actually, after that reveal, I had hoped that might be a clue towards Super Boy, who, in Young Justice, was also a clone of the Man of Steel... then, Ultraman is obliterated in a black hole and my hopes went with him.

That moment made me kinda sad. Hawkgirl's thing about not being Superman, then proceeding to drop the president of Boravia to his death would have been a nice parallel to Clark simply defeating Ultraman (not killing him). I suppose Ultraman is one of those bad guys that you know just <won't> stop, EVER, but still, it's a nice thought.

Back to Hawkgirl. Since my days watching Justice League Unlimited with my mom and dad as a child, Hawkgirl has been in my top 5 favorite heroes of DC, if not the #1. The wings, the confidence and attitude, the backstory, (her romance/triangle with John Stewart and Vixen 👀), all of it just enthralls me! Of course, when she was revealed to be in Superman 2025, I got very excited, but also very nervous. I did NOT want them to do my girl dirty. I have to say, having seen the movie, they did her rather well considering her part in the film. I do have some questions and criticisms though.

Firstly, YESSS!!! The screeching!!! The way she shrieks as she dive-bombs to attack? She sounds like a freaking Night Fury!! I never thought of that detail before! However, I think it becomes a little too much, especially during the climactic final fight. Initially I thought the screeching was more a flavor thing, like an ambient sound, something her wings naturally did on their own or something... then there's that terrible closeup shot of her flying through the halls of the president's office, and I just cringed. Again, too much.

Second, are her wings real in this universe? Is this Shyera Hol or someone else? Everything seemed fine with her until the scene inside the Hall of Justice, where Lois confronts the Justice Gang. There, it looked like Hawkgirl didn't have her wings?? My assumption here is that maybe she has some tech or magic that hides them? Or maybe they're mechanical themselves, part of her harness that she just wasn't wearing...? I have no idea.

I'm very interested to see this version of Lex Luthor develop. While there's just something that doesn't sit quite right with me, I think I can give it a pass. This is the first we've seen of this world, of THIS Luthor. He, like all the characters, need time to grow and evolve. I'm very much used to a Lex that's quietly cunning and clever, a mastermind that takes calculated risks and is more than willing to use anyone in his way to get what he wants. He made a very risky decision during the climactic final act when he chose to overload the portal/boom tube thingy, but everything else felt really weird for Lex. As if he was too focused on the surface of his plans, rather than any true goal. His reliance on grunts surprised me, especially because I know he'd only ever rely on grunts for the most menial of labor, but again, I digress. He needs more time to grow, and it will be exciting to see him do so, given how well established he seems already!

Side tangent: what is WITH the amount of... um. Trashy looking ladies? Women with risqué taste? I don't want to say "hookers," but there were so many! I'm not judging, I just think it's a weird lil detail! Eve, the blonde woman who works with Lois at the Daily Planet, the whole street of women that Jimmy Olson walked past on his way to meet with Eve. It's not a lot, but it's weird that it happened... 6 times?

Oh. One last gripe.

I get it. He was likely playing up the truth of the matter to get the world on his side, but... how could even the world's leading experts on language both decipher AND confirm the contents of Superman's parents' message? It's in an essentially dead alien language that no one has ever seen (or heard) before! Regardless, I also understand that a majority of people probably would believe what Lex and his "experts" said, but Mr. Terrific too? It doesn't make any sense!

Gah. Again. I digress.

Although, I did just realize something. I assume Lex made up the last part of that message for his own benefit, and on that assumption, technically, no one actually knows what the last portion of that message says. Clark might believe the lie Lex came up with! And that's kinda worse... separately, though, I freaking love that the "message" they play for Clark at the very end of the movie isn't his biological parents... it's the Kents. That made me smile :)

Something about family don't end in blood...

(P.S. Recently, I saw an article that sums up my thoughts on Superman 2025 rather nicely, with just the title alone. "James Gunn's Superman launches a universe, not a character". It's totally accurate. The movie really should have been titled something else, but hey, they had to pick the name that would get the most fans into theaters, right?)

[maharellasa]

I've given it a lot of thought about making a post like this, because I didn't want to just add to the already extended discourse on the subject, but I keep reading opinions and I just can't stay out of it.

Before I continue I want to make clear that I've done high approval solas playthroughs and I do believe that a befriended solas cares deeply for the inquisitor. He respects and values them, and you could even argue that they forge a kind of sibling bond or a mentor/apprentice one. So for him to betray that, it's really a tragedy in the end—the inquisitor hurts deeply for their lost friend/mentor.

That said, and I am truly, honestly, not saying this as a solasmancer, but from a storytelling point of view, the story of a romanced solas is still far more impactful.

Please let me make my case before you draw conclusions.

I am not saying it's more valid, or that you should do it, or that it should be the canon. Just, simply, that it is a more powerful story narratively, and that acting like the high approval run somehow has an equal narrative value is completely unbased. It's a meaningful story, yes, but it does not have the same impact. (To be clear, I'm not speaking in comparison to other romances here since that's based on taste and preferences, just the case of befriended vs romanced solas specifically.)

From a creative writing point of view, the romance employs:

backstory relevance: fen'harel is an important part of lavellan's culture and upbringing. and yes, arguably, that's true for any lavellan, but in the case of a romanced one, there's the beautiful narrative device of—

tragic irony: she grew up specifically being cautioned about the dread wolf's treachery, hearing blessings like "may the dreadwolf never catch your scent" etc. and what does she do? she goes and falls in love with him.The dread wolf literally takes her. A befriended lavellan might love him, but will give him nothing so vital as her heart for it to be considered "a taking". And as for other inquisitors, well, they don't even know who Fen'harel is.

unique perspective: (edit because of comments on this post) solas reveals much more of himself to a romanced inquisitor than a high approval one. "it's not right", "it's been so long since I trusted someone", "it will be kinder in the long run", "you saw more than most", and to top that, the ultimate reveal of solas telling her he can remove her vallaslin, which is his way of showing her who he truly is.

denied catharsis: one of the most essential rules of storytelling is that after you've reached the climax of the hero's journey and you've dragged them through all their struggles, you should provide a form of catharsis. that doesn't happen in the case of the romanced lavellan. she ends up alone. I'm not even saying heartbroken, because losing a friend can cause equal pain, but a solas romanced lavellan ends. up. alone. After all that she went through, after having her personhood erased and being forced into a religion that is not hers, after losing her arm and potentially her clan, she ends the journey of the inquisition standing completely alone overlooking an empire that will never thank her. and added to that, we have—

continued torment: her lover still visits her in dreams and she can't even tell if he's real or her imagination.

Yes, high approval playthroughs are enjoyable and meaningful and as much a valid canon as any. And yes, it's really unfortunate that they limited such a beautiful romance to a specific race and gender in the game. But please, please, stop trying to argue that the friendship narrative is as powerful a storytelling as the romance. And stop treating solavellans like silly fangirls who can't see past their faves. I admit that there are those who are trying to force the romance as the only valid option, but I'm not talking about those, every fandom has its radicals.

This is not an argument of whether romantic is better than platonic or vice versa. And it's not an argument of whether solas cares more for a romanced inquisitor versus a befriended one. He cares deeply in both cases. It's about the fact that, narratively speaking, the romance delivers a far greater impact to the character and the story than the high approval run.

[anamericangirl]

Hi there!! Very supportive and grateful fellow pro-lifer here. (I've sent you inbox messages and dms before. 💛💕)

I read your recent reblog post in which you said the vast majority of pro-life people agree that abortion is necessary when the life the mother is in danger. I agreed with absolutely everything else you said in the reblog, but that gave me pause. I have a couple questions.

When you use the term abortion here, are you referring to the procedure to remove an ectopic pregnancy/embryo? Most medical professionals would call that a salpingostomy or salpingectomy. It's not an abortion. As a pro-life person, I prefer to maintain that distinction and hold the line against pro-aborts' tactic of hijacking the term abortion to additonally include things like this procedure and spontaneous miscarriages that are not abortions. They want to muddy the waters in order to try to make the case that anti-abortion law would be harmful for women experiencing these things; and in some cases with some folks they're succeeding in muddying the waters. I want to treat vocabulary as important and meaningful. I'm sure you and I could both get into explanations as to why these are not abortions if folks needed us to. An abortion inherently requires the active ending of a pre-born baby's life for that purpose. A salpingostomy to remove an ectopic pregnancy or embryo is not done with the motive to end the baby's life. The baby is in an environment that would make it dangerous for both the baby and mother for baby to continue growing there, so the procedure removes the baby from that environment. If they could save the baby they would, but this often happens much too early for that to be possible. It's a very sad loss of life, but it utterly lacks intentional killing. It's not an abortion. A miscarriage does not involve intentional human action in any way, let alone intentional taking of life. It's both tragic and spontaneous, and it's not an abortion. It is egregiously duplicitous and honestly highly disrespectful and inconsiderate for pro-aborts to try to include either miscarriage events or ectopic pregnancies under the umbrella of the term abortion. But of course we know well they don't care.

If you intend the term abortion here in a broader sense, I'd kindly encourage some research, and I offer the below short video by a doctor. Many medical professionals have tried to wave red flags and explain that abortion is never medically necessary in any health situation in which either the baby's or mother's health is in danger. Honest medical professionals with integrity will say that in any such situation, all holistic effort would be given to save the health of both mother and baby and that they would always induce labor and deliver the baby and would never even consider killing the baby inside the womb. I know folks get touchy about this because there's been so much fear-mongering about pro-life laws, and because they say we can't discuss things that medical professionals know better about. But medical professionals themselves are trying to stand up and be clear about this. The idea and claim that there are some instances in which killing the baby would save the mother is really and truly a terrible myth that has been heavily, heavily propagated for the purposes of the pro-abortion agenda. That's the truth. We have to stand up against that pervasive lie.

https://youtu.be/IfpRYxufxAM?si=vqvtiT2uyyxL8EFd

Just thought it would be great for your followers to read and think about this. You're doing great, and I stand with you and am very grateful for you!

xx fellow pro-life tumblr folk xx (We are HERE.)

Hey! Thanks so much for this and we are 100% on the same page here!

Because I've done a lot of research into the subject and listen to what doctors say, I know if a mother's life is in jeopardy during pregnancy, an abortion is never the answer. There's never a need to go in and intentionally kill the baby to save a mother's life. The mother certainly needs emergency treatment but killing the baby is never a life saving procedure. In fact, if it's an emergency situation, an abortion is likely to make it worse. She may need an early delivery but an abortion.

And I absolutely agree that it's important for this distinction to be made and the terminology is accurate.

The reason I say the vast majority of pro-lifers would agree to allowing abortion if the mother's life is in danger is because I genuinely think they would. Every time I've seen a pro-lifer questioned about it, every single one has said that is the one situation where it should be permissible. And I think that's because the vast majority of people, pro-lifers included, aren't fully educated on the different conditions that can arise and the prescribed treatments for these conditions so most don't have the knowledge of what the proper treatment is when an emergency condition arises. So even though plenty of us know abortion is not the solution even in an emergency (and more and more people are learning this) there's still a significant population that would agree to allowing abortion in these scenarios because they simply do not know what the alternative is.

So ideally, abortion would not be used in cases where the mother's life is at risk because abortion would not save the mother's life. But still, especially in debates, pro-lifers will relent to this one case in order to find common ground and address the overarching issue.

And realistically, if legislation was introduced that outlawed abortion in all cases except when the mother's life was in danger I would support it because it would drastically reduce the amount of abortions almost 100% and then the next fight would be educating people that abortion isn't needed even in those instances and getting rid of that allowance as well.

[thekatea]

Character analysis - Da On

Episode 6 was so wild I've spent 3 hours writing character analysis: one for Da On, one for Jae Min and one for Su Hyeon. I needed to collect my thought, now I'm sharing my subjective take on them.

I understand a lot of people are frustrated with his “lack of action” and passiveness when interacting with Su Hyeon and how blind he was about Jae Min’s schemes. But let’s put that behavior in the larger context. Da On was neglected throughout his childhood - growing up with a father who was addicted to gambling and a passive mother who did nothing to help her family, as his sister said - just lying down crying. It’s obvious he did not receive much love and support as he was growing up. He did not have healthy relationships examples, hence for him it’s hard to judge what is good or bad, appropriate, real care and manipulation etc. No one knows what is right, you learn by experiencing it. If he never experienced real care, how would he know if what we receive is right or not?

For specific “relationships” Su Hyeon is not some random dude that showed up at Da On’s life and right away turned aggressive. He was his beloved hyung during university. They knew each other for 7-8 years. He liked him. From the flashbacks we can see he was pushy, borderline disregarding Da On’s feelings (the library scene with the ring would be a good example), but it was never aggressive in the past and knowing Da On liked him, it might even be seen as a possessive flirting. He was someone who protected Da On.But he was also someone Da On never thought he could have, since he was in a “relationship” with Jae Min. And then he was gone after that “beating up a guy” moment. Probaby without much explanation. He never got a real closure. He saw someone who was taking care of him almost kill a man, and then he was gone.

And now he is back all angry, aggressive, possessive and with so much actual power over Da On’s life. He is not someone you can just say: fuck off, because the consequences might be: you losing your job, you being completely blacklist from the industry you work in, someone getting serious hurt or even potentially killed. Su Hyeon is not some ugly ass bitch that hit on Da On in a bar, someone he can reject and move on with his life. Su Hyeon is someone with great social, economical and emotional power over Da On. So from Da On’s perspective, with his lack of support system in literally all areas of his life, all he can do is de-escalate while trying to keep Su Hyeon in check so he won’t cross the line too far. He was not completely passive, agreeing to each and all Su Hyeon’s requests and demands. He set as much of a boundary as he could at any given moments - sometimes it was telling him strict no when they were in public place and Su Hyeon could not hurt him, but sometimes when they were alone, it was being passive, because he knows how aggressive and fucking nuts Su Hyeon can be when he does not get what he wants.

And that’s why he did not try to push away Su Hyeon when he forced that kiss on him in the beginning of episode 6. Because the consequences might have been worse than said kiss. He is traumatized by Su Hyeon's past and current behavior. He cannot predict when he will lash out next time, and how it will end, It’s not a unique behavior. Many victims of sexual assault do not fight their abuser out of fear of the escalation of the situation. It’s still not their fault, they were still assaulted. Being passive out of fear is not consent.

Moving on to his “situationship” with Jae Min. Initially he might have been the one who Da On liked. I am honestly not sure if at first he just admired him, or he truly had a crush on him. But it also does not matter much. Jae Min was kind and helpful hyung who was the first person in his life that offered him help, who seemed more interested in just making sure he improves and is in a good place, than gaining anything from it (free tutoring being the case). By all means he was the tiny part of normalcy in Da On’s life. For the longest time the only friend. Jae Min is extremely good at hiding his true nature. There was no reason for Da On to suspect anything. But since Jae Min always treated Da On as just a friend, he moved on with his romantic feelings - and started to like Su Hyeon. From Da On’s perspective, not much happened or changed even when Jae Min was “dating” Su Hyeon. He still admired Jae Min, he was this constant part of his life. When something seemed wrong between Jae Min and Su Hyeon, he was on Jae Min’s side, even when he liked Su Hyeon. Jae Min was the good part of his life.

I can easily see how his feelings started to grow after Su Hyeon left. He was left with Jae Min and Jae Min alone in his life. And I’m sure Jae Min made sure it was the case for years. After what happened with Su Hyeon, I’m sure he made sure to not make the mistake of letting Da On get close to anyone else. So Jae Min was literally all Da On had. And he never did anything wrong. Not once. But maybe he did? It’s obvious he crossed the boundary Da On tried to set countless times. How Da On told him not to get involved with his family, and Jae Min kept doing that. And it made Da On feel so in debt and guilty. And that made him feel like he is connected to Jae Min even more. Jae Min And Da On had no one in his life to call Jae Min’s actions out. To question the validity of his “help” and the true goals he might have. To show Da On how sneaky and manipulative he is.

But also, even if someone did, I don’t think Da On would listen. Why? Because Jae Min was the only person in his life that cared for him, stayed with him, and did not leave. turning his back on Jae Min would mean being comp;letely alone, and being alone is fucking scary.

And that leads me to why Da On had no issue pushing Jae Min off of him when Jae Min kissed him - because he never, not once saw Jae Min being aggressive. He never feared him. He had no reason to think pushing Jae Min away might put him or someone else in danger. It’s not like Da On did not push away Su Hyeon coz he liked the kiss, and Da On coz he did not. He just felt more safe to react in one situation compared to the other.

And then we have Seong Hyeon who showed up and Da On was “confronted” with what true selflessness means, true care and genuine feelings. And that’s when he slowly started to see that what was between him and Su Hyeon and him and Jae Min was just wrong. That’s when he started to set boundaries. That’s when he for the first time told Jae Min “no”. Because he experienced what a healthy friendship/relationship should be like. BUT you cannot just change your personality in one day. The bad habits and the passiveness caused by neglect, manipulation and trauma does not go away just because you were confronted with them. He takes tiny steps to improve his situation, but also himself. He falls back into bad coping mechanisms out of fear. Because change and healing takes time.

And that’s why he tries to push Seong Hyeon away, because at the moment it is the only way he knows how to protect him. He does not understand quite yet that Seong Hyeon truly likes him. He does not want him to be hurt, simply coz he feels pity for Da On and wants to help him. So he willingly locks himself in the cage with the abuser, and leaves Seong Hyeon safe, outside of it. He is yet to understand that he could lock the abuser, while stepping out of the cage himself. Tho from the end of episode 6, we might see actual progress in that area so yey!

Anyway, Da On is a dude that experienced a lot of trauma and neglect, had no examples of healthy relationships in his life, had all the burden of supporting himself and also worrying about his sister. He was a young guy who, as far as I see it, was groomed by two influential seniors into an easily manipulated and put in place possession. He was in that cage for years (7+, with Jae Min probably longer since they met when Da On was still preparing for university). You cannot heal, move on and set strict boundaries in a day. I honestly think he actually does so much better in this situation than the MAJORITY of people would. No matter how I see him, I do not think he is weak. The fact he did not break down yet for me proves he is strong. He just needs some guidance, be confronted with good experiences and behaviors to see how bad his situation is, so he can make a conscious choice to leave.

[vindicated-truth]

A review of Episodes 1 and 2 of Kaibutsu (怪物), the Japanese adaptation of Beyond Evil (괴물)

Prefacing this with a direct and succinct summary: I loved it.

And I will go into detail as to why below.

But first, the necessary disclaimers:

1) This is my personal subjective opinion, and it may not align with yours, and that's okay! We're all allowed to have different thoughts and feelings. Let's simply agree to disagree, as I'm not here to change your opinion, which means I'm also not here to entertain arguments contradicting mine. Our differing opinions are allowed to co-exist separately.

(This does mean it's better for you as the audience to watch the show yourself in order to formulate your own opinion too, and not be influenced by the thoughts of others—including my own 😉)

2) Please take into consideration as well how this is a premature review, as only the first two episodes have been released so far. Certainly, even for first time watchers of Beyond Evil, opinions have changed after they watched the whole show. Most notably: the audience's opinion of Han Joowon drastically changed from the beginning of the show until the very end, so this review only covers Episodes 1 and 2 of Kaibutsu. Whether my opinion of the show will change after each episode is released until its completion remains to be seen. Until then, I'm keeping an open mind.

And now, without further ado, my detailed review:

MUSIC

Of the many high points of Kaibutsu—and I do believe the show itself is of a surprisingly high quality—its musical score is absolutely the best part, unquestionably so. It magnifies the emotions in each scene, the string section soaring into heights that tug viciously at the heartstrings. I've never actually openly cried in Beyond Evil—as engrossed as I was in its actual mystery aspect, which was indeed done incredibly well—but in a particular moment between Hiroyuki and Kotone, I sobbed.

He loved her. He loved her.

And the music heightened that grief, that despair, that yawning cavern left when you lost the other half of your soul. I felt for the twins at that moment, so achingly.

PRODUCTION

Considering that Japan is a very minimalist culture, it surprised me how the sets of Kaibutsu are actually bigger compared to Beyond Evil. I don't know if it's because Kaibutsu has a bigger budget or simply more space, or if Beyond Evil was constrained by the fact that it was shot during the height of the pandemic, but the sets are certainly more spacious—and much more detailed.

In particular, what I absolutely loved about Kaibutsu was the supreme attention to detail, filling in the gaps that Beyond Evil only hinted at. In Beyond Evil, we only ever see photos of the Lee family as a whole, but in Kaibutsu, the relationship between the twins is given much more attention, with photos of them strewn all over the house from when they were in the womb together until their high school graduation.

It's just one of the examples of how Kaibutsu honors the essence of what Beyond Evil established by expounding on and paying tribute to the moments that are most cherished.

STORYTELLING

Because the 16 episodes of Beyond Evil have to be compressed into 10 episodes in Kaibutsu, certain things have to be omitted. It did away with a lot of the comic relief, such as the character of Hwang Gwangyoung and the gambling ahjummas in Beyond Evil.

However, with what it took away, it more than made up for it in what it instead paid attention to.

Aside from the more heartrending tribute to the twins, we see how Hiroyuki is more of a father figure to Mio in offering her a piggy back ride even at 20 years old. We see how Hiroyuki and Tatsuo—Mio's father—truly have a warm relationship as pseudo-brothers.

The first two episodes focused heavily on Hiroyuki and his relationships—as well as his tendency to bend the law according to how he judges the situation.

This is also connected to how Kaibutsu also did away with "middle man narration". Where in Beyond Evil, Joowon comes to learn about Dongsik through the Manyang crew's stories—who all hold understandably biased affection towards him—in Kaibutsu, Masato gets to witness all of this firsthand himself, and therefore have his own unbiased judgment towards Hiroyuki without the influence of someone else's opinion.

If you're watching Kaibutsu for the first time without any prior knowledge of Beyond Evil, it's actually clever how they're setting up Hiroyuki as a seemingly unquestionable prime suspect—because unlike Beyond Evil, we don't have the "audience cheat" of knowing beforehand how "good" of a person Dongsik is. We're witnessing Hiroyuki the same way as Masato is observing him, and this is how Kaibutsu is formulating their red herring mystery:

By making you question the Hiroyuki you see with shady dealings in public with other poeple versus the very real grief you see when he's alone, as it makes you wonder: how is a suspicious man so obviously the suspect be so genuine in his grief?

This is the only part that Masato doesn't see (so far), so that's the question the audience is left grappling with.

It does make Masato seem more coldly logical and less unhinged than Joowon, because from his point of view, there seems to be no way Hiroyuki is innocent.

Which brings me to my next point:

CHARACTERIZATION

If I can aptly summarize the difference in the characterization of the leads, it would be this:

Hiroyuki is warmer than Dongsik, and Masato is colder than Joowon.

Whereas Dongsik can be a little acerbic and gruff in his affection, Hiroyuki is gentler and warmer. Even his seemingly genuine brotherhood with Tatsuo is given more attention—which will make the latter's betrayal even more devastating.

In contrast, Masato is colder than Joowon. Where Joowon can be hotheaded at times, Masato is unfailingly polite, using social niceties to build that impenetrable wall around himself, keeping everyone at a distance.

Masato is actually the bigger mystery here, because the question that hovers over his character is: what made him so cold like this?

Because another fascinating difference is that unlike in Beyond Evil, where Han Kihwan already gives off an air of arrogance and being disingenuous, Masayoshi actually seems to be nice to his son—or at least civil enough to wonder where Masato's frigidness towards his father is coming from.

Which makes him a suspect too, for the audience, as someone who seems to be so questionably cold.

And that's the thing, too: so many first time viewers of Beyond Evil harshly judged Han Joowon in the beginning, only to do a complete 180 by the time the true nature of his character was revealed.

I've proudly never had that judgment of Joowon because I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt until the end—which indeed proved to be worth it—which is why I'm giving Masato the same room for understanding.

It's still too early in the series to the judge his stone cold character—in an entirely different way from Joowon's bullheadedness and hotheadedness—so how the show will handle his characterization remains to be seen.

SHOW, NOT TELL

One thing Kaibutsu also did very well in my opinion is that it made use of additional scenes—and sometimes scenes that were changed entirely—to replace the lengthy conversations (which were indeed written brilliantly) in Beyond Evil.

Beyond Evil's way of storytelling was to indirectly narrate the scenes and the relationships between these characters through these conversations. Kaibutsu lets you see that for yourself. Instead of having Jihoon tell Joowon how Dongsik is a good man, Masato (along with the audience) finds out for himself how Hiroyuki deals with a domestic abuser and illegal immigrants. It's a clever way to shorten the script—and therefore the running time— without sacrificing characterization.

The most stark tradeoff is that in expounding Hiroyuki's relationships for example with Kotone, Mio, and Tatsuo, it's actually to the detriment of losing "screen time" with the rest of the Hatone crew. But where Beyond Evil's warmth comes from the love the Manyang crew has for Dongsik, Kaibutsu chooses to expound instead on the relationships that weren't explored enough in Beyond Evil—the people whom Hiroyuki lost too early.

CULTURAL DIFFERENCES

Fascinatingly, Kaibutsu made clever use of the cultural differences of Japan from Korea precisely to shine the spotlight on those who are lost—and ultimately Hiroyuki's grief and suffering because of it.

For one thing, because Japan is more of an irreligious / secular culture compared to the multitude of cults in Korea, Kotone doesn't play the piano for the Church, but instead plays it for herself: she got into college for music, making her own compositions. Which is why Hiroyuki's desire to be a musician—despite being a college dropout—is all the more heartrending, because he wants to make music with his sister.

For another thing, unlike in Korea, mandatory conscription / military enlistment also isn't a thing in Japan, so Hiroyuki unfortunately didn't have the escape that Dongsik had, wherein he enlisted as soon as he was wrongfully accused so that he would be out of the public eye.

Instead, Hiroyuki was there to witness through every journey of grief his parents had, from his mother calling out for her daughter in the reed fields, to his father collapsing under the rain while handing out flyers in the hopes of finding his missing twin.

CONCLUSION

A final verdict for the show would have to wait until all the episodes are aired, because as was the case with Beyond Evil itself, so many of its revelations that tied up the loose ends only happened towards the end. Therefore, I'm also keeping an open mind about Kaibutsu.

As to which version I prefer—

I think of it as going to different restaurants. You may have thoroughly enjoyed this Korean restaurant, and then have a Japanese restaurant curiously open up next to it.

It's entirely unfair to expect the Japanese cuisine to taste the same, as it deserves to be enjoyed in its own merit. Certainly people will definitely have their preferred choice of cuisine, but as someone who enjoys both—figuratively and literally—I'm happy to be able to dine in both.

Because it doesn't have to be a comparison. It doesn't have to be a question of which one is better.

Because when you're presented with two options, you don't have to choose.

You can have them both.

Which is why I'm genuinely grateful for this Japanese adaptation of a Korean story that is already beloved to me.

Because it means that I now have two things to love, instead of just one.

[michaelwriston]

Hi Michael!

Not long ago I've discovered you and your photography (through a Flickr tag by Patrick Joust :) ) and I was immediately amazed and fascinated by your esthetic style. I love the apparent simplicity and the cleanliness of the composition, the way you manage to present as interesting a boring subject. The portraits in the street are stunning, both in terms of the subject's attitude and the pictures' colors; I'm impressed by the natural look, white balance and colors, that also seems so filmic; great edit!

Would be to much to ask what are your guidelines when framing empty streets / building? And can you reveal some ingredients of your editing?

Thanks a lot! Keep up the lovely work, cheers from Eastern Europe!

Hi there,

First, thank you—truly—for taking the time not just to look at my work, but to reach out with such thoughtful questions. It’s humbling that you'd devote any of your attention to my photography, and I can't say thank you enough. Sharing the city I love with others is a joy, and I’m grateful it resonated with you. I’m also honored to be photographed by Patrick Joust. He’s a dear friend and someone I deeply enjoy exploring Baltimore with. That his work could serve as a passage to mine feels like a real privilege.

I’ve written elsewhere that I view the camera as more than a tool for documentation. I use my camera as an invitation—to the world and to others—to engage. That sense of receptivity is central to how I work. Whether I’m photographing a portrait, a landscape, or some combination of the two, my first guideline is simply to be present. I try not to approach with a checklist or preconceived notions. Doing so risks missing what the world is offering at that moment, be it subtle or strange, quiet or sublime.

My second guideline is this: never punch down. I try to use the camera to relate, not to narrate or dictate. When I photograph strangers or their environments, I see it as an opportunity to build empathy and to better understand that which I don’t already know. If I happen to be in a disinvested neighborhood or photographing people going through hard times, I aim first to earn their consent, and then to represent not the hardship itself, but the human behind it. I try to highlight dignity rather than dramatize suffering. I’m also keenly aware of my own privilege—that I get to walk away from a given scene or story, while the subject might not. With that in mind, I strive to approach every interaction with respect, grace, and a bit of levity. These are real people, not characters. That is foundational to my artistic approach.

On a technical note, I shoot with a Canon 6D paired with a Sigma 35mm f/1.4 ART lens. That focal length works well for me in tight urban corridors and unpredictable light, and it strikes a strong balance for the kind of environmental portraiture I prefer—wide enough to frame some context, close enough to keep the subject grounded and present.

When I photograph buildings or street scenes, I often shoot from a medium distance. I like to place the subject in relationship with its surroundings. I’m drawn to contradiction, irony, and the unexpected: a grand car parked in front of a row of identical homes, or a burst of color from an overly lit storefront in an otherwise empty lot. I tend to see the world with the openness of a transcendentalist and the disposition of an absurdist. That is perhaps chiefly why I love photographing Baltimore. It’s a city in extremis, and it rarely fails to deliver.

As for editing, I’ll be honest. I’d much rather be outside shooting than in front of a computer. I suffer from terrible decision paralysis, and I find the infinite sliders of modern processing software more draining than liberating. That said, I shoot in RAW for the flexibility and detail, and I do my editing in DxO PhotoLab 8. I’ve tried Lightroom, Capture One, ON1, and a handful of open-source tools, but PL8 fits my style best. It helps me get to a final image efficiently, with minimal fuss.

My workflow is fairly straightforward. I ingest, cull, and tag everything in PhotoMechanic—sometimes cutting a hundred shots down to just three or four. Then I open those images in PhotoLab, where I apply a minimalist preset I made that:

Uses the DxO Neutral color rendering as a base

Applies the Portra 160 VC LUT from the (free!) G'MIC collection at 40% opacity

Reduces vignetting and sharpness for a softer, less “processed” look

Uses DxO’s excellent DeepPRIME engine to denoise high ISO shots

Adds the faintest trace of film grain—barely visible in JPEGs, but it gives a little texture in print

I try to keep the look subtle and restraint-driven. My hope is that the images hold a kind of stylized clarity without tipping into anything flashy or artificial. Ideally, I’d like them to age gracefully.

Thank you again for the generosity of your note. If anything I’ve shared here is informative, then I am glad.

All the best,

mw

[charrfie]

hello hello!

i'm actually writing my contemporary art history thesis right now, using your piece chimera as one of my formal analysis pieces. my paper is about the performance of identity on the internet and how online communities shape identity. may not have been your original intention for the piece, but it is what i discerned from it.

both wanted to let you know (because that work has been a massive inspiration to me) and ask if you had any thoughts on the matter as an artist/the artist of the piece.

have a wonderful day/afternoon/evening!

Hello!!!! Oh what a delight this is to hear about. Thank you greatly for your ask! I'm honored. Chimera got a LOT more attention than I bargained for... and I'm happy knowing that so many people have resonated with it to such a high degree over the last year, even if I've not been able to thank every individual who comments on it.

I'm not sure if you plan to quote my answer at all, so I'll attempt writing a well-thought-out response! I hope it's to your liking :^3

To begin, I do want to mention that any interpretation of this piece is a perfectly acceptable one. The meaning behind Chimera is fairly nebulous, even to that of myself; it was created with the intention of being so, and remained fluid throughout my painting process. Even now, my thoughts on it change often. Vague art which comprises a multitude of thoughts, feelings, and states of being has always held a very special place in my heart. I cannot deny that this sentiment isn't present in my work. Art, as well as humans, are both ever-changing creatures, and I try to capture that in most formal pieces I create.

As for the main substance of your query, I would be happy to shed some light on my thoughts surrounding the subject, though I'm unsure how in-detail I will be able to go. But I will at least attempt to write something of substance! Identity is a difficult beast to outline. There is quite a lot that makes each one up, and all of it is directly contradictory. It is both ours to claim and anything but; identities are little more than reflections our surrounding world, yet simultaneously personal creations we have carved out by hand. Which is fascinating, no?! Something which is definitionally undefinable. it becomes all the more conflicting when you situate different "worlds" next to one another, so to speak. The real world presentation of oneself at some level is doomed to clash with online presentation, which only becomes more obvious as time spent online increases. It often begs the question of which one results in the "real you." I, for example, have a strong fondness for the idea of a REAL virtual life, largely because of my own life experiences from childhood making it difficult to discern a clear outline of myself in the real world. My virtual self still remains somewhat indiscernable... but it feels more "home" than anything else, due to how foundational my relationship with a virtual world is. It was key in figuring out how I wanted to operate in the world as a child, and so, remains that way even today.

The formative years of my childhood self's presentation stem from a desire to come off as someone interesting and familiar to the surrounding world... and so, my first conscious identity was more of an act than anything else. Online I could be someone cool, smart, and funny (though a 12 year old's impression of this is obvious mimicry). A far cry from someone who still didn't know who they were in the real world, and wasn't given the opportunity to freely experiment. In this way, the internet and internet culture has heavily impacted the person I've become over the years, ultimately resulting in something more real to me than I could find outside of it. Identity has this power... this ability to change one's perception of the world, and how they exist in it. If it is truly real or not. This is why I so thoroughly enjoy the "performance of identity" comment you make in your ask. It begs the question of just how many versions of ourselves exists, and if any of them might truly exist without our lived experiences echoing back towards us. But I've wandered a bit too far with this train of thought... it's easy to do so when you're discussing a topic as expansive as this. There's too much to be said.

I fear I'm making it grossly obvious how much my philosophy on life is foundationally held up by the idea of grayness and messy in-betweens, but I would be remiss to not address it. I apologize if my bumbling about without fully elaborating on my points causes any confusion, or raises more questions than answers. I'm of the belief that identity is something which cannot be understood, and doesn't ever wish to be understood. It's against its very nature! Regardless of this, it's something very, very sacred. And who I am, and who you are, and who those around us are, is something which should be treasured, no matter if the concept is ever understood to its full extent.

If you would ever feel so compelled, please feel free to drop the finished thesis in my dms.... I would love to read it, assuming you're comfortable n_n best of luck with your writing!~

[zuppizup]

So, of all the things we saw in the trailer, I have to say, the tag line is what has me the most intrigued.

The Cosmic Order?

This is the first we’ve heard of anything like that.

With Book Six being titled Stars, I've been thinking a lot about how often the subject of destiny is mentioned in the show.

Callum’s spell book gives us the word association between the Stars and destiny.

But what, if anything, has destiny got to do with the so called Cosmic Order?

Kosmo's speech in the recent trailer gives some hints as to what this order might concern.

Worlds one and myriad.

Why do the Celestial Elves wear those blindfolds? Are they capable of true insight into other timelines or realities? Are the blindfolds functional or merely aesthetic?

Are we dealing with a multiverse versus (for want of a better term) some sort of Sacred Timeline?

If that is the case, where does Aaravos fall in all of this?

And what might any of this have to do with the current cast?

The character most associated with questions of destiny is obviously Callum. He wars with himself regarding following a set path versus choosing his own fate during his dark magic coma. Rejecting this apparent destiny is part of the spark that allows him the understand primal magic. If the show had ended in arc one, this would have been the resolution of this issue, however, with arc two, we see the subject of destiny arise once more.

During his possession by Aaravos, the subject of destiny comes up once again, with Aaravos blithely dismissing any agency Callum might actually have. While you could assume this is a reference to Aaravos making assumptions based on Callum’s character, given the recent references to the Cosmic Order, an intriguing possibility presents itself.

Does Aaravos, a Startouch elf, have some kind of divine knowledge of Callum’s future?

Or a likely future?

If destiny truly is currently a true and real thing in the world of the Dragon Prince, is is possible to challenge this destiny?

To defy it?

Rayla challenges this assumed fate both to Callum, but also in her own mind, in Chasing Shadows.

She truly believes Callum is in control of his fate, his destiny. When she tells him to choose another path, she clearly believes he is capable of doing so.

Will this conviction be the drive Callum needs to challenge a destiny others decree is written?

Where do I think this is going?

One of the things I really enjoy about The Dragon Prince is how it keeps me guessing. Sure, we do get set up and pay off, but the Mystery of Aaravos is aplty named. We still don't really know much, if anything, about his motives and goals.

In thinking about this Cosmic Order, in conjunction with Aaravos disdain for those he deems arrogant, I began this whole thought process thinking Aaravos wanted to challenge singular destiny/fate, but looking at his belief the inevitability of Callum’s fate, I’m not so sure any more. Did Aaravos try to defy his supposed fate and suffer his downfall as a result?

Thankfully, we have just over a week until we find out more, but one thing I very much am expecting is for the subject of fate and destiny to become a major plot point over the final two seasons.

[lookingfts]

As we approach S3...

First of all, I want to say thank you for the (truly overwhelming) number of asks and comments I've gotten so far! It's been really exciting and this is certainly not intended to discourage anyone from reaching out - it's just my own feelings on the subject.

I've been thinking about a lot of the comments I've gotten over the past few weeks that hint at the show writers not "liking" Kanthony, or them not getting enough screen time in S3. My thoughts on this are and have always been - a) It's a waste of energy to assume things about media we haven't consumed yet, and b) I'm not interested in dwelling on the negatives. Were there things I didn't like about S2? Sure. Are there things I won't like about S3? Almost certainly. But Bridgerton, and Kanthony in particular, has given me a beautiful community that got me back into fanfiction after more than a year of writer's block. And for any legitimate grievances about it, which I know there are some, I am very grateful for that. I'm only here, talking to you all, because of it.

I'm going to sit on my couch on Thursday and eat snacks and watch S3 and enjoy myself, whether we get ten minutes of Kanthony or thirty. (My first fanfic fandom was Scorpion - anyone who has watched that show knows that it got canceled after a finale where the main ship breaks up and all the characters hate each other. So, honestly, I'm pretty content just to get A happy ending, and catch a few glimpses of that happy ending.)

All that is to say - I hope everyone enjoys S3, and I still have a very long list of fics to tackle after it airs, and I just ask that everyone respects my wish, as much as possible, to avoid negativity when reaching out to me after S3. It's not the headspace I want to be in, it won't encourage me to write, and I think fandom in general has lost so much of its enjoyment. I don't care about the show's flaws! It's a show, and not a particularly deep one at that. I love Kanthony, and I love this fandom, and that's ultimately all that matters to me.

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

So, controversial topic. taking in count that in a month, the webcomic "scarlet lady" is gonna end ¿what are your feelings about it?

I know that there's people out there that don't like it for the chloe salt, but i have to admit that the damnation that chloe went through, at least for me, gave her more agency than canon, for the fact that it wasn't manipulated by outside forces like canon did, it gave her the right to choose to be better or worse.

Another great element is that it does what canon refused to do: five back Adrian his agency by letting him vent his frustrations AND let him realize that his father is a bastard.

If you don't agree, that's more than excellent, i want to know your take in this topic, that being positive or negative 😄👍

My friend, you are talking to a big Scarlet Lady fan, so I'm happy to give my thoughts! Get ready for some gushing and in-depth discussion of the adaptation process. That's really what all fanfiction is, but Scarlet Lady is more of an adaptation than most since it's a true canon rewrite that often requires you to know canon to fully appreciate its jokes and meta commentary.

Before we get into it, I want to give a link to the comic for those who haven't read it. The artist/writer is @zoe-oneesama and this is page one of the comic. I'd follow the comic link if you haven't read it as the comic is nearing its end, so going straight to Zoe's page will spoil you on elements of ending.

General Thoughts on Adaptation

Adaptation is an art, not a science. There are things that are objective elements of a story. Things you really cannot change if you want people to feel like you're telling an adaptation of a given tale. But there are also plenty of elements that are more subjective. Things some people might consider vital, but that aren't truly necessary to stay true to the story's core. (Yes, the character core thing applies to stories too!)

For example, to be a Cinderella adaptation, you need to have some sort of big reveal moment where "the prince" finds Cinderella, but that moment doesn't need to involve a slipper and the prince doesn't need to be an actual prince. My favorite modern Cinderella adaptation is A Cinderella Story: Once Upon a Song and it twists both of those elements while keeping the major story beats in place, making it fully deserving of the Cinderella label while also being its own unique story that isn't a straight retelling, it's an adaptation.

I bring all this up because, as readers of this blog may have already guessed, Scarlet Lady does a lot of things that I personally would not do when adapting Miraculous. A big one being that I prefer a more complex take on Gabriel, but that's simply a matter of preference. A complex Gabriel is not a requirement for adapting Miraculous. Complex Gabriel vs comedic villain Gabriel is just a choice you have to make when it comes to adapting canon because canon is such a mess that both options have straight up backing in the source text. Even if they didn't, Gabriel's core role - villain - is one that leaves you a lot of room for interpretation based on other factors that we'll talk about in a second.

I'll close off this section with this: having read all of Scarlet Lady, I'll be so bold as to say that Zoe and I almost perfectly align when it comes to identifying the flaws in Miraculous because I've agreed with pretty much every change she's made. She did a fantastic job staying true to the core of canon while also telling the story she wanted to tell. It's not the way I'd redo canon, but it doesn't need to be for me to call it a fantastic story. Plus a lot of the different choices I'd make come down to narrative style and tone.

Narrative Style and Tone

I'm a novelist at heart, which means that I favor serialized storytelling. For those who don't know that word, it means stories that are one coherent whole just broken into chunks. Stories where the order matters. You can't start watching at a random episode, you have to start at the beginning. And skipping an episode usually means that you'll have no idea what's going on.

Miraculous is not a serialized show. It's primarily an episodic show, a word that means that episode order doesn't matter. Every installment stands alone.

Obviously Miraculous isn't completely episodic, but that's fine. Purely episodic narratives are rare these days. Most stories have at least minor serialized elements even if those elements are often ignored for multiple episodes at a time. This is where both Miraculous and Scarlet Lady fall. They're mostly episodic stories with serialized elements popping up every now and then.

Miraculous does this element poorly because it acts like it's a purely episodic show and then takes that to an absurd extreme. Rules, characters, and lore can never be counted on to stay the same from episode to episode even though that's not actually how episodic stories work. Scarlet Lady doesn't make this mistake. It understands that episodic narratives should have STORIES that stand alone, but that the WORLD the stories take place in must stay consistent.

Now that we've gone over the basic format stuff, let's talk about tone.

Generally speaking, tone is the vibe of your story. It can be serious, silly, dramatic, and so on. One of Miraculous' biggest flaws is that its tone is all over the place. It's a silly romcom that brings in serious topics in serious ways and then handles them with all the grace of a hippo performing ballet in a china shop because of course it does! Those topics are horribly suited to the show's overall tone so it has no way to properly address them.

This is one of the many things I love about Scarlet Lady. It takes the show's absurdist tone and honors it. That's why Zoe's version of Gabriel works so well! He's a silly cartoony villain in a silly cartoony comic as he should be. It's also why my versions of Gabriel tend to be more complex. More serious serialized narratives are where more serious complex villains thrive. Neither option is better than the other, it all comes down to how you're adapting the original work. Zoe's choices are perfect for her version's style and tone. If mine are even close to that good for my preferred style and tone, then I'll be a happy author.

Narrative Weight & The Chloe Thing

This is getting long, so I'll end with a note on Chloe since you brought her up as it's another great example of the fact that there are very few choices that are inherently right or wrong when it comes to adaptation.

I don't know if I'd say that I'm a Chloe fan, but I certainly don't hate her. I also love what Zoe did with the character! It's a prime example of a thing that I've talked about before: the issue with Chloe is not a lack of redemption. The issue is that Chloe was given too much narrative weight to be what canon made her.

Quick definition: narrative weight is the importance a narrative places on a person, event, thing, etc. The more time you dedicate to an element of your narrative, the more weight that element has in the eyes of your audience. The more they expect the element to matter. The way that you develop the element will also shape audience expectations.

In the context of canon, Chloe has more development than almost any other side character. We know more about her family, her childhood, her personality, and so on. This was an absurd choice for canon to make because Chloe is not actually important to the story they told. You could pull her out of canon and almost nothing would change. Gabriel can make akumas do whatever he wants so, lore wise, he didn't need Miracle Queen. In fact, he arguably shouldn't have made Miracle Queen. He could have just taken the miracle box and jumped right into the plot of season five. Similarly, Chloe being mayor was an absurd one-note moment that's easily replaced with something more logical.

Because of this, there are a lot of things you can do when adapting Chloe. Everything from turning her back into a one-dimensional mean girl to redeeming her to what Zoe did: take Chloe's narrative weight and petty brat behavior and lean into both to make Chloe a main antagonist while also acknowledging the fact that Chloe is a messed up teenage girl who needs some serious help. I'm super excited to see the end of Chloe's arc in Scarlet Lady as I think it's going to be one of my favorites in the fandom. That is admittedly not a high bar as I'm very picky when it comes to Chloe content. I think most of it falls flat because most of it fails to let Chloe hit some sort of rock bottom when she absolutely needs to if you want to do anything interesting with her. She's not the kind of person who will easily change or see the error of her ways.

Conclusion

Scarlet Lady is a fantastic adaption of Miraculous and Zoe is a fantastic and funny adapter. The comic might not be to your tastes - and that's fine, nothing has universal appeal - but it's still a great example of how to honor source material while doing your own thing with it, which is a true skill. One of the problems with many modern retellings and reboots is that the people running the show don't understand how to adapt a narrative. They take far too much creative freedom and end up with something that doesn't feel anything like the source.

If I found out that Zoe somehow got hired to adapt something I love, then I wouldn't have any concerns. I'd have no idea what she'd do with it, but I'd be confident that it wouldn't spit in the face of the thing I love. I'd personally read a hundred Miraculous re-imaginings with her at the helm.

[madelynhimegami]

Ecolo Guide

Little over a week ago, somebody in a Discord server I'm in asked about how to write Ecolo. And I gave an extremely detailed answer. I actually like it enough that I kinda wanted to post it online, too. Maybe I'll do more, I don't know.

Anyway. When it comes to understanding Ecolo, these are the main things you need to know about his character:

Ecolo is extremely lonely and attention starved, having been left alone for almost all of his undefinable existence.

While he'd like you to believe it doesn't bother him, it does.

He truly cherishes Ringo's friendship, but has absolutely no idea how to express it.

Likewise, he has no idea how to handle genuine acts of kindness towards him.

This is in part due to the fact that he's extremely cynical. Ringo (and the rest of the physics club)'s friendship continually boggles him because it's such a sharp contrast to his worldview.

It's also because he's resigned to the fact that he can't have any permanence in his life. Most people forget him entirely, after all.

And even then, with all of time and space open to him, there's a lot more existence lacking positive influence on him (eg, Ringo) than with.

He doesn't tend to seek out permanence, either. He's very much driven by whims and prefers doing what he wants at all times.

He does a lot of thinking on his own, and can easily drop a poignant philosophical thought on a subject with the same ease as saying something weird.

"I've learned that being able to go everywhere is the same as not being able to go anywhere at all."

He has a soft spot for Ally and Rafisol, though the reason isn't super-clear. Might be that he left a permanent impression on their world…?

He is easily made jealous. In a Drama CD track, he nearly attacks a puppy alien and their parent(s) because he didn't want to lose it.

He's whimsical and curious and has an extremely keen grasp of many aspects of math and physics (he just lacks the vocabulary). He and Ringo are often on the same wavelength. (Read: they have similar flavors of autism)

Ringo herself considers herself to be a babysitter or older sibling towards Ecolo, to make sure he stays in line.

He genuinely does enjoy puzzles and games and will make a game out of any situation. Especially if it's to deflect from a serious topic.

By default, Ecolo has a very detached attitude towards what's going on around him. It's like he's constantly watching a movie.

When he gets invested in something, he gets petty and childish and even violent if it doesn't go his way.

This can and does compound with his jealous tendencies (again, the puppy)

For better or worse, he's honest. He's not a very good liar and doesn't seem too keen on doing so in the first place.

He's pretty good about keeping big secrets, though. Particularly ones that could negatively impact a given universe's rate of entropy

He also seems to have gotten better at acting/pretending, lately? My personal guess is Maguro told him about role-playing. (Or maybe it was a writing mistake by whoever wrote that one sketch in Quest...)

Feel free to hit me up with any followup questions you may have!! Hope this was interesting to somebody!!!