#its actually a cancelled zine sketch...

[gallapiech]

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some sketches i made with the pixel brush :3

[srarlight]

Another year another summary! This was... an odd one that's for sure ;v; A lot more IRL shenanigans happened that had my days a bit up and down, but as I tend to be, I'm keeping up the optimism! 

A break down of my year under the read more!

So for an art update- I was worried by the time I got to December, that I would find I hadn't actually done too much since my usually source of work like RG took a hit this year. However, between zines, commissions, and new topics that helped me through some days- I was able to have a fair amount to show off here! This year is also heavily marked by me getting an iPad which ended up being a godsend because I often found my self either working 46 hour work weeks or a lil in bed or away from my pc. So in reality most of the art I got done was done on the iPad.  So what I accomplished was: More paintings! Mostly for commissions, job prospects, and charity zines. I really like the ones I did finish and I think I am keeping up my art journey up well enough with practice. I also did a fair amount of concept art and character designs for both dnd related hobbies and a secret OG idea I'm collabing on with a friend for after RG is finished which will probably not be a few more years yet. Although if you notice that little blip above, that "fair amount" of the dnd concept art actually turned in a LOT thanks in part to a fixation I have that hasn't weaseled its way into my art much until now. I actually really like fish and ocean themes which mostly manifests in the stuff I own, but while I was dealing with surgeries and happenings, that was kind of like a huge comfort for me. It was mostly sketches and really rudimentary colors, but there ended up being so much of it. I actually am happy to see it because what it also lead to is inadvertently finally learning human anatomy because the fish folk concepts often had human counter parts or family. So FINALLY I'm bucking up and covering what is usually something I avoid like the plague, but now I can say I somewhat have a handle on. Unfortunately, because it's dnd related, I didn't really post much if any of it since it be spoilers for a hand full of people but the surprise is half the fun so maybe one day I'll post a massive collage of all of it. Outside of that I drew a few fancy weapons; made 23 pieces of music; handmade a pile of felt ornaments again; helped my roommate with a Halloween piece; did manage to get RG back in gear; and edited a good few things. Time for the bit of the more- personal stuff all vague like just to serve as a memory capsule for me. Starting off, in march I had my wisdom teeth removed. I know that's basically a common surgery, but in order to get it done I had to uproot my life for about a month to get that done. It wasn't all rough though because I stayed with my family for the entire duration. During that time while I was still a bit roughed up, I started that fish art, but also I got told about a job opportunity from someone I trust that they wanted me to try for. In order to do that I ended up making 3 very involved illustrations. Unfortunately with all that happenings with shows getting cancelled for animation this year, that ended up getting cancelled so that wasn't in the cards for meeee. Eventually I got home and had a few significant life things at least to me. That BF I had last year I ended up breaking up with, not because they did anything wrong, they were sososo very nice, but turns out I'm plenty touch adverse and was rather struggling to feel romantic feelings. I consider my self plenty ace and aromantic so I felt very- "was trying on a coat to see if it works" only to find out that maybe it could work one day, but for now I feel much happier being super platonically involved with the people I care about. That break up was rocky at the start but we recovered and are still great friends which was a relief cause I really do feel strongly about my friends. On a happier note I got to do several trips with friends this year! Saw the redwoods, went to local cons, & went on a road trip with my roommate and fair.  I'm on team- go have experience with your friends when you can now or at least do friend activities online so I actually, for me at least, was out and about or was in voice calls a lot with friends. I really liked it and I feel enriched for it ;v; There were a few more negative things. Some additional situations that changed my life some that were hard and some stuff with my family where I had to give away at a lot to try and help them keep afloat. Family struggled with health this year a lot so I do fret over that. Also had a SECOND oral surgery. My gum just straight up ripped on me and I needed to get a skin graft that saw me distracted for another half a month or so while I was a mashed food gremlin and a lil unhappy about the pain stuff  :T  cost a pretty penny like the first one did, but rather that then have roots exposed. And for additional expensive things, I spent a good few dollars fixing stuff with my car. Was unpleasant but like 4/5ths of that is done. End of the year is fairing alright though! Still got savings despite all of that, still in a good home with nice roommates, & with plans to visit more friends in the future where ever I can squeeze it out. Oh and this was the first year I tried text RPs with close friends with our ocs and yeah turns out I can enjoy that too, but probably only with friends hah. So yeeeep I think that's most of what happened. Basically could have been worse and could have been better, but I'm still super thankful for the nice things that did happen. No matter what things happen this next year, if I can keep up hanging with friends, making art I enjoy, and scraping time to see little chunks of the world- I'll be good!!

[intervital]

I didn't want an entire year to lapse before I even wrote in this "before I die" journal so here is the decorated front and back covers, some planning, and a black and white photo of what a @beforeidieproject wall looks like. The journal helps you accomplish your dream in 100 days. The before I die wall is a public art project where people write their bucket list goals on a chalkboard. Funds from this journal, created by @candychangland, and the Before I Die book support that project as well as @ritualfields. Do check them all out, they're incredible to read.

Before I Die I want to become a prolific, engaged & brave writer. I know I have potential and feel confident enough to execute:

Prolific ~ read deeply and widely, submit simultaneously, update my & The AALR's social media frequently, blog at least once a week, work on more than one project, journal consistently, make marginalia

Engaged ~ write book reviews on faves on Goodreads, Amazon & elsewhere, connect with authors and writers and let them know you enjoy their work, attend & volunteer at readings, share opportunities, table for The AALR & LAKAS zine, critique others' work, be active on bookstagram & litsy

Brave ~ go for residencies & fellowships, write pitches, apply for publishing jobs, do open mics again, read & perform at events, attempt new genres & mediums, do writing workshops again

I've been making headway at the start of 2020, tho it's been nerve-wracking to wait for responses. But it's all positive so far so yay. I'm working on promoting myself better. I actually got published in two zines last year but I didn't want to share cuz it was tech old work. But fuck it, I'm still proud of those words so no more bashfulness.

The front cover is a vision board of sorts. I seek perfect wax seals, high and wide-ranging productivity, letters, reading, traveling, different perspectives on the same subject, adventure, facing fears, adoring my face & being, trusting myself, stationery, ephemera, fully immersed, discovery, and magic. I left that paper clip and oval paper sticker blank because I don't know if I should number it as "Vol. I" or put my name. I really want this to work out but we'll see.

Image descriptions:

Front cover of “Before I Die” journal. In the middle in black font are the words “Before I die I want to” and in pink marker I wrote “become a prolific, engaged & brave writer”.

At the top is a black and white sticker that looks like an old, pixelated computer program window. The mouse hand is pointing at “print” and there’s icons for portrait, final, editorial, and sketch. There’s a cascading, overflowing paper reel coming from the program with the word “print” over and over.

The top right of the book is a sticker of the full moon lighting the sea and the blue words beneath it says “The moonlight on the sea”.

There’s a sticker of a red wax seal with a “Z”.

A sticker of the words “lost in another world” on brown.

A red daruma ink stamp with a silver eye.

A sticker on its side that looks paper clipped and is a blank brown paper oval on top of a white rectangle paper

A silver ink stamp dandelion you make wishes on purple to red ombré paper.

A small sticker of a brown paper pad and a purple pen inking a purple splotch.

A black and white was hit tape of a hot air balloon above mountains and among the stars.

A puzzle piece sticker of a street lamp and buildings in the back beneath a blue sky.

Black ink stamp of a mountainous island and a message in a bottle floating in the ocean. Beneath is a washi tape of purple concentric half circles that look like waves.

White cotton lace.

A slim rectangle in gray that says “gray areas and expectations”.

A cancelled postage of a pink cherry blossom branch on teal background with gold edges. Sittin on the stamp’s upper right corner is a green ink bespectacled boy in stripes reading a book on a wooden floor paper.

A black ink stamp of a steering wheel and the words “move me” on blue, pink, and orange paper.

A yellow washi tape of words that look vintage.

A washi tape that features a map, passport stamp, train, ticket, and a boat & island on waves.

Washi tape of black and white doodles of a hill with trees, mountains and stars, rowing boat, and a house on a hill.

A sticker puzzle piece of some people on white stamps seen from the distance.

A soft texture cork washi tape that shows golden outlined sedimentary rocks.

A sticker of a drawing of a bottle with a cork that contains a floating yellow hot air balloon among clouds and blue land.

And a 3D sticker that looks somewhat like a quirky rolling pin that says “Trust yourself”

An autograph in pink by Candy Chang that reads:

“For Eileen

Remember what matters to you

*Sparkling star*

Candy Chang”

The “One hundred sessions” page where you “Track your plans and progress” I wrote in different ink colors:

“01 Figure out @ least 5 places for “Slow Dance Desire”

02 Apply for A Public Space Editorial Fellowship.

03 Work on sketchbook Project(s)

04 Blog & plan out next three”

Black and white photo of a “before I die” chalkboard wall which has the repeating prompt “Before I die I want to _______________”

Some answers written in chalk: have a a family of my own, be a friend and take nothing back, I want to drink from the Stanley Cup, $Live without money, hug my boyfriend ❤, make a change through my artwork, fall in love, love myself, learn everything & be free, become a millionaire, find my mom

Closeups of my front cover.

And then finally, the back cover which has a sticker of two brown circles and a brown thread intertwining and wrapped around them which you’d find on a back of a large envelope.

There’s a quote beneath that says:

“There is no more miserable

human being than one in whom

nothing is habitual but indecision.

William James”

Then you see the barcode in the bottom right corner.