#its like imagine being a professional and some guy shows up and starts doing ur job seamlessly

[cattywampers]

My friend figured out loops Whole Deal in less than five loops. What the fuck

[neoraso]

royal guard!minho

requested | some gender neutral hc for how he starts to wish he was maybe more than just a guard to you 

to put things lightly, minho was the ace of your entire guard

like he was better than anyone …at everything

so originally he was on (your father) the king’s immediate guard

he was nothing but professional and saved the king too many times to count even from like stepping on rocks idk 

when you turned like 17 and had to do more public appearances obv u were in a lot more danger so ur father jumped at having minho reassigned to u as the head of your personal guard “nothing but the best for his child”

the first time you met him… he only nodded or said yes or no to everything u asked him n ur jus like ok not much of a talker that’s not so bad ig haha ʕʘ‿ʘʔ

he was so quiet and “polite” for months despite you constantly trying to get something out of him

ur other guards always tried not to laugh bc if only u knew he had like two friends and was generally a pretty serious guy

but one day there was a festival in your kingdom’s central city so obv you had to make an appearance which u were very excited abt bc you only get to go into town like twice a year and THIS was one of those times

being “of age” and that much closer to taking the throne you might as well have painted a big red target on your head to signal people against the throne

everything was going fine, everyone was having fun and you decided to visit some of the booths and musicians around the square

minho was already suspicious of the situation and tightens the rest of your guard without u evenn rlly noticing but like

just as you turned to show these cute little candies to minho to maybe get a reaction for once -

the second he looks at you, someone moves to grab you but the flash of a knife in his other hand causes minho to jump immediately into action

honestly who knows what rlly happened minho moved so damn fast but the next thing you know, ur in the middle of your whole guard squad

looking through the gaps of their shoulders you see minho pinning down your assailant with a blade against his neck waiting for someone to arrest him even though he rlly wanted to just execute the guy right there 

the festivities were kind of killed for u after that bc you and your family were rushed back home which u might’ve been more sad abt if u werent in so much shock :<

obv minho was the one to escort you back but like all he said was “you’re okay?” and after u dumbly nodded with wide eyes he walked with you but kept a hand around your shoulder

no one really talked after that which wasn’t unusual for him but in his mind he was rlly like 

“?? ok i know its literally my job to protect this family but?? hm whyyyy do i seem to care sm more rnnn??//?” help him sdhskjd

u just looked so shaken up and disappointed and suddenly he was like damn </3 they rlly have no fun in their life and this one time they could was ruined :///

u had to stay inside for weeks after that bc it turns out there was a whole conspiracy to “eliminate” your family line so you waited in safety until the criminals were “taken care of” 

minho had everything triple checked around the castle for your safety and secretly made sure you had extra treats and warm drinks sent to your room sometimes with little notes that he had the cook pretend to have sent because lately he’d heard you had trouble sleeping sometimes he’s shy boy aw

he started to realize how much he had gotten used to your smile and your little jokes and the way you sometimes tripped on the corners of rugs. and he thought maybe it was a good thing you guys didnt have many interactions lately because he was way too attached

you on the other hand, couldnt even rlly complain about having to stay inside so much bc you had everything you needed and- you knew it was for ur safety but- it wassss kind of suffocating at times

u tried sneaking out at first ((just to the garden!!)) which obviously was a bad idea bc it’s impossible to get past minhos fcking hawk eyes lmao

he STILL didnt say anything like he would just follow right behind you

n like u kinda huffed but whatever honestly at least it was just him and not 15 other guards like everyone acted like you needed

plus it was somewhat comforting to have someone so solid around even if he never talked smh

one night you sat near the little pond and tried to calm your mind by watching how the moonlight rippled in the water

you can feel him behind you so u just turn around and look at him ignoring how he was already looking at you

 “would you at least sit with me?”

he kind of hesitates bc …what if someone tried to come up behind you? but with the sad look on your face he cant help but give in and sits on the stone bench at the opposite end of you

it becomes actually somewhat peaceful until you just decide to ask everything you’ve been wondering n u just blurt out-

“would it kill you to talk with me once in a while? i mean, talk like a normal person and not a machine? i dont bite i promise..”

he furrows his brow bc he’s shocked you cared at all and also he doesnt rlly know how to respond without being like “its not really in my job description to make conversation” but he honestly just thought you were being talkative out of niceties.

 before he could even form a sentence you continued,

“i mean- i’m always trying to get your attention. i dont get to meet many people for obvious reasons but my guards are the closest people to me-literally, and i dont want there to be a big gap between us just because of my status..”

he cuts you off before you ramble yourself to death 

“i didn’t know you were this troubled by it… i just take my job very seriously and i dont want to risk anyone’s safety for the sake of conversation”

u almost roll ur eyes but not wanting to be rude ur just like “even at home? i know you’re serious about your duties, believe me, i just… i get lonely.”

smthing inside him literally breakkkssss when you say that like u are such a pure and sweet person that deserves to have all the love and friends and fun in the world so he just gets quiet for a second and looks down

“im sorry.” he said it so softly you almost didnt hear him “i’ll be there for you more- if thats what you need. im essentially in charge of your safety and care and i’ll do anything to fulfill that responsibility.”

ok.

well this was good right? so why did you still feel unsatisfied?

“i dont want to just be a responsibility, cant we just be like friends? or…”

you cut yourself off before talking too much again

you had to admit to yourself you had developed a bit of a liking for minho, not just because he was probably the most handsome person in your kingdom, not even just because he saved your life, but he had really been a pillar of security in your life and you respected his loyalty and ambition.

he was more than admirable and everything you wanted as a standard for your kingdom

sometimes you let your mind wander to him getting on one knee and leading alongside you..

no, now youre getting sidetracked and delusional and he can practically hear the gears turning in your head so he stands up and reaches his hand out for you to grab 

“of course you’re more than a responsibility to me, come on, lets go inside it’s getting cold.’

taking his hand and realizing the conversation was over, you moved to link arms instead  as he walked you all the way to your bedroom door 

u slept a lot better that night 

from that point on you could not get rid of minho 

like everyone was borderline uncomfortable with how jarring his change in attitude was 

like he was constantly behind you looking right over your shoulder or grabbing your arm to stop you from bumping into things

even when he wasnt technically on duty he had taken it upon himself to give you little lessons in archery and even some defensive moves to help you protect yourself in case someone wasnt fast enough to help you 

your tried not to get flustered every time he adjusted your form and the way you could feel his breath behind your ear

or the head pats when he walked you to your room at night

or his hand on your back when you guys would take walks in the garden

honestly it did not take long until one night you were sat next to your pond and after some comfortable small talk you noticed how close his face was to yours

but he noticed you didn’t pull away even as he leaned in closer and finally just kissed you

when he pulled away and saw your eyes still closed and how soft you looked his heart almost exploded

“i didnt mean to make things weird i just,, couldnt help myself, sorry”

his rushed confession pulls you out of your daze and you’re so happy (a little shocked) but you’re quick to reassure him

“it’s ok, i’ve been wanting you to do that for a while …”

he’s jus like “rlly?😳”

obviously this complicates things a lot and you aren’t really sure if you would even be allowed to have a relationship with minho bc of ur position

or if he would get in trouble for breaking the rules of attachment to u

all of this is kind of racing thru both of ur minds as you look at each other but you laugh after u both start talking at the same time

you prod him to go first so he grabs your hands and says like

“look i care about you a lot, and i know we’re not really supposed to be doing this but if i can be by your side … beyond my duties…i would really love to. but if we can’t, i can survive with just being here to protect and serve you in anyway i can”

he’s so honest and genuine and earnest it shocked u a little

even tho you were uncertain abt the situation as well you knew you had grown a little too fond and dependent on minho that you would do anything to make it work

luckily an arranged marriage was not required for you so that wasnt really the issue, but falling in love with someone not at all royal..? it was a daunting thought how the idea would be perceived 

you wouldnt have said anything if you both weren’t completely sure of your feelings;  but you really could not imagine being content or safe spending your life with anyone else so you mustered up the courage to ask the king and queen…

when you brought it up to your parents they looked pretty concerned

minho went on the whole “i’ll do anything to protect them and this kingdom” speech and your father just waved him off and was like

“i know u would …. i’ll allow it because there’s really no one better to represent the kingdom and because i want only the best for my child ;)”

u and minho were literally in shock but just quietly said thank u and left the room

when you had privacy he immediately pulled you in for a kiss (maybe several all over ur face)

you had a lot to figure out and many responsibilities but now you had an amazing person by your side to help you through it :.) <3

[beelieveinfandom]

Convo from the 18+ discord about a very silly star wars crossover I wanted to share.

gremgeous the gem pillar Just had a GREAT idea for a star wars crossover Just dipper visiting the star wars universe for whatever reason (multiverse vacation maybe? Idk. Dipper maybe dusted off that old portal in a fit of nostalgia or smth) and palpatine finds him and tries to tempt alcor to his side by offering him power Standard stuff for the sith really Except Well If you offer a demon unspecified power, in what form are they going to take it if not in the one who is offering's soul? Biggest and best tasting power boost there is, really! And then maybe he takes over the empty shell of a body afterwards which may or may not grant him force acess and alcor has a grand old time making a mess out of running the republic (or at least running lose in the senate) This is like... early prequals or pre-preauals era maybe. When palpafucker is still undercover and being all covert and unsuspicious and stuff I call this.... "palpatines penechance for grand speeches and unspecific ominous statements to try and seem all powerful and cool and dramatic fuck him over" Or in shorter terms ... . "There's a demon lose in the senate" And it basically runs like that one john mullaney bit With a side dashing of that one journak 3 thing where bill posesses a guy, messes with a roman army and then makes a guys head explode Also like nobody knows who alcor is or that hes even there bc theres no demons or dream demons in star wars (that i know of) so he gets the run of the place Even moreso than back home in gravity falls bc no one knows magic, its all "force this" and "force that" Dippered probably spends a lot of time nerding out over the different alien species since they dont have those back in his dimension (theyve got aliens but theyre different kinds) and also about the laser swords (just like the one Grunkle Ford made for them all (Ford, Dipper, Mabel, Stan, Soos, Grenda, Candy, Grendas boyfriend, Pacifica, and even waddles and gompers)  back in 2017! Good times, good times.)

swbeeworm oh this sounds like fun

gremgeous the gem pillar Right???

swbeeworm if i was familiar enough with the star wars universe to write anything in it i'd give this a shot

gremgeous the gem pillar right???

swbeeworm like i know star wars?? but i don't know star wars n i have to know something to be confident in writing it

gremgeous the gem pillar Sadly everything i know comes from time travel fixit and semi-salty pro-jedi meta

swbeeworm but just.... the sheer chaotic potential of this...

gremgeous the gem pillar Gosh yes....... Oh its be so good..........

swbeeworm oh mood it would be

gremgeous the gem pillar @Abigor u like star wars too gimme ur thooooughts When ur awake and have them to give

swbeeworm ugh i should. probably not be awake, i have stuff to do tomorrow n i have a headache but this is fun to think about

gremgeous the gem pillar I had another thing thats fun to think abt too Clone wars era, alcors there and everyon thinks hes a brand new sith player b/c gold eyes

swbeeworm just the shenanigans. the bullshittery. the sheer what-le-fuck reactions of everyone from the senate to the jedi to the people ooooooooo

gremgeous the gem pillar YES!!! Exactly.

gremgeous the gem pillar Oooooh jedi can do mind things i wonder what alcor wpuld feel like to them

swbeeworm my first instinctive responses were: 1) constant Screaming and a whirlwind mishmash of colors/concepts/etc that makes everyone who 'looks' too long start bleeding thru the nose/eyes 2) wii music on loop and these are VERY different prompts to have back to back but that's what i got

gremgeous the gem pillar AKDHSGGSHD I LOVE IT Oh what if its both at the same time Ajdhegdhdj what rven is the music like in star wars anyway

swbeeworm the fkin,,,, cantina music

gremgeous the gem pillar Like how would they react when confronted w wii music

swbeeworm is the equivalent i would think

gremgeous the gem pillar Do they even have the same sorts of instruments do they even know what electronic music is

swbeeworm just. that spawned another Thought imagine that the cantina music from That One Scene is the sw-equivalent of the wii music and just.  just imagine that same scene playing but with wii music on loop in the background

gremgeous the gem pillar Gosh "wii music on loop" i love it AODHDHSHSJD

swbeeworm it would probably FIT they have the same vibe

gremgeous the gem pillar Im crying Mits so good

swbeeworm sdjlksdafj i saw a post the other day that was talking abt the music there n how it kept playing on loop n the poster joked that it might have been like,, the john mulaney salt-pepper-diner-story situation which is only tangentially related to this topic but i had to recall it

gremgeous the gem pillar AJSHH i love that Gosh ok i feel like take 1 would fit with the new sith in town scenario And take 2 fits with theres a demon lose in the senate

swbeeworm sfsdkfjh yES

gremgeous the gem pillar But how FUCKING HILARIOUS would it be if in the senate story its the former, and in the oh so serious sith story its the wii music on loop im akdhsjdvsjdhsjbd

swbeeworm ASLDJSLKFJ plEASE take 1: gritty, serious, angst, deadly miscommunications--and fucking wii music on loop take 2: lighthearted, cracky, shenanigans and bullshittery--and fucking bleeding out the eyes if you try n read the guy talk about dissonance

gremgeous the gem pillar "Big scary sith! Look at the yellow eyes! What dastardly plots cpuld he be thinking/partaking in....." [Hard cut to alcor pov/inside alcors head] wii music plays as he stares off into space during a supposedly very important meeting

gremgeous the gem pillar OH I DO LOVE THE DISSONANCE Gsjdgysgsvsjgd wheeze its so good i love it

swbeeworm me tooooo .....for the sith one. would ppl see blue fire n think lightning

gremgeous the gem pillar Theyd probably think its some other secret sith technique

swbeeworm fair enough

gremgeous the gem pillar Everyone thinks one of the other sith lines that was supposedly wiped out had it since this sith deffs aint the line of bane- even the cirrent sith wanna know where alcors popped in from "Lightning was the bane line specialty.... guess where ever this kids guys from fire was theirs"

swbeeworm= adjlsdfkjlfkjf the shenanigans n bullshittery one imagine alcor-as-palpatine just. going incorporeal, still visible but not able to be touched, and the jedi go from "what the fuck is going on"  to "why the fuck is he  a force ghost"

gremgeous the gem pillar AJSGSHSGSHSA

swbeeworm alcor, who'd done it only bc his ~ornate robes~ had got so caught/tangled on something he could only get free by phasing through it: ??????

gremgeous the gem pillar wheeze Alcor: how the fuck did this guy move around in these AJDHSGDH ALCOR NOT KNOWING ABOUT THE SITH- SHOWS UP TO THE SENATE IN THE SITH ROBES

swbeeworm asdlkjsfkjsdfdf

gremgeous the gem pillar CALLS IT A "FASHION STATEMENT" WHEN CALLED OUT ON IT

swbeeworm a fASHION STATEMENT YES alcor: :blobsweats: alcor: what the FUCK is a sith alcor: and why do they have better style than the jedi

gremgeous the gem pillar WHEEZE He doesnt know jack shit abt the jedi or anything hes just vibing!!!!!!

swbeeworm yesssssss

gremgeous the gem pillar AJDGSGGDJS YOU KNOW WHATVWPUKD BE EVEN BETTER ALCOR THINKS THE SITH LOOK IS TACKY AF

swbeeworm alcor: no listen. listen. i picked these space robes out of my space wardrobe because they looked cool, not because i'm part of some. some space cult ljflskdajfslkdfjsd

gremgeous the gem pillar BUT HE STILL THINKS ITS BETTER THAN THE JEDI

swbeeworm that's even better

gremgeous the gem pillar space cult im HOWLING

swbeeworm you KNOW he'd be so excited at being in space this DORK

gremgeous the gem pillar Ph gosh imagine it starts out all dark and serious and angsty and creepy in the whole beginning exchange But as soon as the day after alcor takes up palps role hits it takes a sharp turn into crack terriotry

gremgeous the gem pillar OH HE WOULD

swbeeworm yESSSS

gremgeous the gem pillar Alcor takes one look at dooku and is like "youre the only one aroynd here with any sort of fashion sense" "And its HORRIBLE"

swbeeworm sljflskdjfsd

gremgeous the gem pillar Just roasts him And by extension everyone else too

swbeeworm dooku has NO IDEA what's going on but at this point ""palpatine"" or whatever's taken over him is ten minutes into a rant abt the layers on layers of boring robes jedi wear and at this point he'll take the backhanded compliment about his own style

gremgeous the gem pillar Akehdsjfssksgsjd

swbeeworm just to shut him up

gremgeous the gem pillar AKDHDJDGDJDHD Alco goes on a 30 minute rant on why suits are SO much more professional

swbeeworm snaps "palpatine" into a suit and goes "...except maybe for this guy idk if anything could make him look good"

gremgeous the gem pillar And its more of a backhanded insukt than a backhanded compliment but anything to shut the guy up, right?

swbeeworm how much we roasting palpatine here

gremgeous the gem pillar To a blackened crisp

swbeeworm as it should be

gremgeous the gem pillar Its better than his wrinkly old rasin look anyday

swbeeworm lskjdlsakjfdf agreed

gremgeous the gem pillar Be hard NOT to improve on that honestly But the dude sinks so low i bet hed somehow manage it

swbeeworm --alcor getting fed up w palpatine's body and just. showing up to the senate meetings, full alcor, eyes n his normal face n everything, in palpatine's robes, and when someone rightfully asks him who the hell is he, he just deadpans "i'd think by this point you'd recognize your own chancellor" and just straight insists he's palpatine (and has the knowledge to back it up) every time someone sputters

gremgeous the gem pillar Also i included the bit abt the journal 3 thing bc my saga of alcor repeating bill's patterns, behaviors, and ideas unknowlingly and without awareness that that is what he is doing shall continue >:3c

gremgeous the gem pillar AODHAJDBAKWJHEVEJDJDHSHSHSJWOWKJEHEE I LOVE IT OH HOW I LOVE OT ALSOWHSKJDISOSOAJAIW Oh gosh what if he fuckin

swbeeworm because at this point it's less about blending in and more about trolling the whole senate and being as distracting as possible  because with everyone paying attention to his trolling theyre less likely to notice the bills for clone rights n abolishing slavery n such that he's pushing thru in the background misdirection at its finest

gremgeous the gem pillar I was gonna say a thing abt alcor replacing palps b4 the election and so they did elect alcor to chancelorhoood But it might be funnier if he took him over AFTER abd still says that bit abt recognizing their own chancellor Oh gosh in that secind scenario it would be hilarious if the jedi are all  :blobglare: @alcor except for obi-wan who is all like "i am looking away" bc at least THIS guy (whiever the hell he is) has stopped being such a creep abt anakin

swbeeworm the jedi are sent in to figure out wtf is going on and. they, unfortunately, bewilderingly, confirm that this is the same person as the chancellor who'd been showing up recently??? same wii music/bleeding effect??

swbeeworm alcor, finding appointments with some random jedi kid on palpatine's calendar: wtf why is this creep trying to meet with a kid alone, yeah how about i cancel that

gremgeous the gem pillar AKDJDJD Alcor, looking at palpatibes planner: "every day i am more and more glad that i ate thig guys soul" "Like i knew it was oily but im suprised i havent got an upset stomach from it yet"

swbeeworm sjlskdfjsdf alcor the next day, after finding stuff abt the order 66 chip things, gagging: "i spoke too soon"

gremgeous the gem pillar Obi-wan to the council: hmm? Yes this is totally the chancellor, i know this because of all the previous meetings and close relationship he has had with my padawan which you allowed and helped facillitate- "Palpatine":[has a completley different body type, height, and face. Plus he actually has hair and is maybe even floating a little but its hard to be sure in those black and gold robes- and with a completely different voice] oh, yeah, totally, Im the chancellor and i totally know who this guy and that kid is yup yup yup-

gremgeous the gem pillar [UGLY LAUGHTER] AkdjskkdkdjsysAODJSJEUEIEIIEF

swbeeworm ASDKAFDF "palpatine": [grins with very sharp teeth at a nervous senator] council: "okay that is NOT normal" obi-wan, deadpan: "i'm sorry, it sounds like you're discriminating against non-human beings? that's not very jedi of you now is it"

gremgeous the gem pillar ALDHDJDHD Wait wait no what if its "This is completely normal behavior. I, as a human, know this for certain" "I can do this too, but i dont, because it is impolite, but hes the chancellor he can do whatever he wants"

swbeeworm asldksajflksdfjsdf;jsdf yes yes beautiful

gremgeous the gem pillar Alcor and obi-wan team up to be passive agressive at everyone who allowed palps and anakin to hang out ABOUT them letting an unsupervised minor chill w a suoer duper old guy Shoulda had a chaperone at LEAST Butalso

swbeeworm the other humans on the council: "uh, actually-" obi-wan: [manages to sip tea (which he shouldn't even have access to in a council meeting btw) with an aggressively polite smile and silent Threat] the other humans: "....um."

gremgeous the gem pillar "Thats not very jedi of you now is it" AODHSJSIDHALSVD IM HOWLING I LOVE IT THE SASS wheeze*

swbeeworm i live for obi-wan sass it gives me LIFE

gremgeous the gem pillar SAME oh its so good Love that one post where obj-wan is on tatooine and calls all the force ghosts to view his powperpoint presentation about how letting palps have acess to analin was a bad idea as hed been saying all along-

swbeeworm u need to know i wrote this with the "that's not very plus ultra of you" meme, which is a bnha offshoot of the "that's not very cash money of you" meme, in my head on repeat

gremgeous the gem pillar Ph him terrorizing all the people palpatine had in his pocket...... Ok this is veering into even MORE crack territory but at some poibt alcor replaces, uh, whats the dudes name, palps second in command - mess something-or-other? - with a nightmare Not just ANY nightmare But a DIFFERENT nightmare each day

swbeeworm ASDLSDFKLDJF PLEASE

gremgeous the gem pillar They took it upon themselves to go on rotation They couldn't decide who should go when alcor proposed the idea so its everyone One at a time They dont even look REMOTELY human Or like anything the galaxy has ever known or seen And theres no "secretive supernatural species" excuse for them to fall back on here lmao

swbeeworm random dude: "what is that???" alcor, cheerful: "that's my assistant" rd: "is that--is that supposed to be a sheep?" alcor: "no they're my assistant" nightmare: [sound that, if you ignore the reverb and microphone-screeching and kazoo effects, might be a "baaa"] alcor: [smiles aggressively wider with sharp teeth] rd: [sweats nervously]

gremgeous the gem pillar ALDJDKSIEJEHAJWJWHEI Obi-wan: i am still l :eyes:king away Anakin: oooh, the wool is so soft master. Come feel it! Obi-wan: really? Ooh youre right The council: ....

swbeeworm rd: "okay but this is a DIFFERENT one than yesterday right?? right???" alcor: "i have absolutely no idea what you're talking about :)" obi-wan, still with tea he should not have, this time with space whiskey mixed in: "sir i think you might be seeing things, they are clearly the same individual as yesterday"

gremgeous the gem pillar Mace: ...hrm it is quite soft- The rest of the council: ??? When did he get-

gremgeous the gem pillar AKDJDJDHDHD JUST LYING THROUGH HIS TEETH ALDJDHFJF

swbeeworm obi-wan looking mace dead in the eye and chugging his spiked tea which is more whiskey than tea at this point: "how dare you accuse me of lying.  me, after everything i've done for this council.  i am betrayed.  heartbroken.  never shall trust again.  i am leaving until i recover" -and promptly fucks off on a vacation with anakin

gremgeous the gem pillar The jedi start getting a LOT more missions about busting slave rings and giving aid in the outer rim - plus some more dimplomacy docused ones in regards to solving teeaties instead of putting down rebellions

-alcor shows up on the vacation with zero explanation and obi-wan at this point is like "fuck it why not" -a nightmare takes his place in palpatine's robes in the senate for the week they're gone

gremgeous the gem pillar ALSJSHDJDJSKDHEE Weirdly enough some of the more corrupt senators go missing after that week No one knows what hapoebed to them but the robes the "chancellor" wore that week have some awfully suspicious stains WAIT WAIT WHAT IF ITS NOT A NIGHTMARE WHAT IF ITS GOMPERS alcor didn't even ASK gompers to be there he was planning to not even warn anyone n just vanish but gompers just SHOWED UP the nightmares were the ones who put the robes on him

gremgeous the gem pillar Alcor doesn't even KNOW gomoers is there He gets back after the week and is like "what the heck" The nightmares are pretty proud of themselves for that one

swbeeworm the nightmares, collectively: "this is gonna be HILARIOUS" alcor, halfway across the galaxy, sees a newsfeed of a senate meeting with gompers in the robes in his place, and spits his drink clear across the room

he's only mad because he didn't think of it in the first place

gremgeous the gem pillar wheeze Hes proud of them

swbeeworm he IS

gremgeous the gem pillar Its so HILARIOUS

swbeeworm i pity anyone trying to read this mess later but i hope we at least make them laugh once

gremgeous the gem pillar Same Its such a joy Alcor teaches anakin the secret to mabel juice

swbeeworm oh no

gremgeous the gem pillar Only the children thank him The minders.... not so much

swbeeworm alcor: "okay so what i'm hearing is, the adult jedi have been making Stupid Decisions and not paying as much attention to the kids, as evidenced by them letting that one kid have meetings one on one with the creepy older guy i stopped putting effort into impersonating a month ago. so, clearly what needs to happen is something that forces the adults to pay attention to the kids and start keeping a closer eye on them, but it can't be something that actually hurts the kids because then i'd feel bad" alcor: "...." alcor: :blobamused:

gremgeous the gem pillar akdhdjsgshsjhdsjdjdj

swbeeworm alcor in a totally not suspicious trench coat and sunglasses: "hey. hey, kid. you wanna try some mabel juice?"

gremgeous the gem pillar AKDJDJDJDLFKFIFJIF WHEEZE "With the creepy older guy i stopped putting effort into impersonating a month ago" ALDJDBDJDJDDHDHDJDJDJDJDJDJDJSJDJEJEJE

gremgeous the gem pillar AKSJSHDJDJF

swbeeworm star wars kids: "mr chancellor why are you wearing that" alcor: "because i think it's funny" kids: "it isn't" alcor: "look do you want the juice or not"

gremgeous the gem pillar I LOVE ALL OF THAT LOOK DO YOU WANT THE JUICE OR NOT

swbeeworm i am having WAY too much fun with this ldjsldkfjdsf;

gremgeous the gem pillar "Were not supposed to take drugs from strangersl" "Its not- just take it!"

Hooooh man thats so funny Oh gosh Alcor uses a different time/date system

Than the star wars one

swbeeworm ooooooo yes

gremgeous the gem pillar Nit super sure where im going with this but.... Pretty sure he woukdnt know the star wars one At all Maybe the in-umuverse knockoff calendar maybe Hes wnough of a nerd to have that memorized But the star wars proper one

No, no i dont think he knows that one

swbeeworm nope no chance

gremgeous the gem pillar Omg yes

gremgeous the gem pillar Well its a good thing we have this..... and the mistaken sith version too :blobamused:

WAIT WAIT QAIT FLASH OF INSPIRATION ALCOR GIVING ANAKIN THE STRANGER DANGER PPT

swbeeworm i have 1 scene i can think of that actually almost made my friend cry and i have 1 au scene of a different au of mine where a character who canonically dies and gets brought back to life...doesn't come back (which is extra angst bc this is a Ghost Seeing Fic) and both of these i wrote at like 3-4am

swbeeworm SDFJKSDLFSJf YES :blobamused:

gremgeous the gem pillar Alcor: "you know, i usually save this one for the kids who followed the stranger with the nice candy into the alleyway and end up as sacrifices but I feel like you could benefit from it too"

swbeeworm alcor: "no talking to suspicious ppl" anakin: "except you right?" alcor: "....in any other situation i'd say no but if i say that you're just gonna up and leave (i see that grin thanks very much) so in this one singular personal case it is fine that you trust my very suspicious self"

gremgeous the gem pillar AKSJSJDJJD "My very suspicious self" Aksjdhdd

swbeeworm obi-wan, straight up knocking back shots now: "the man has a point anakin"

gremgeous the gem pillar Haha nice Obi-wan is taking notes Hes also re-inventing alcoholic mabel juice He weaseled the recipie out of the kids

swbeeworm asldfkjsdlkfjd imagine if somehow SIDIOUS CAME BACK and tries to take back over the senate but everyone at this point is used to alcor and one of two things happens: 1) they assume this is alcor messing with them with a clone/double (they don't know how he'd do it but at this point given his "assistants", the goat that somehow made more eloquent speeches than the "human", and the other things involved, they wouldn't put it past him) and just ignore him 2) they look between the real palpatine who'd been pushing thru some very sketchy bills, and between alcor who's been sneaking through law after law protecting all kinds of sentients, and they turn back to palpatine and go "how dare you impersonate the chancellor" and kick him out

swbeeworm at this point he deserves it tbh

gremgeous the gem pillar AKDJDJDHFDJDJDJD Ok i preffer him dead and gone and forgotten in favor of alcor (its what he deserves) but oh those are hilarious

swbeeworm agreed to both counts alsdjalsdk

gremgeous the gem pillar ESPECIALLY if the senate chooses to keep alcor over palps XD Ph man we can work that into him being dead and gone too- alcor starts dispersing the power and the other half of the senate w bail and padme are like "yeah seems legit" along w obi-wan The jedi only put like, a token effort into investigating and are more put out by trying to figure out what happened to the real palpatine and all his past shady dealings than exposing the current "palpatine" for a fake

swbeeworm palpatine: "excuse me?? i am the chancellor of this republic" councilmembers, with the same deadpan as alcor's been pulling on them all year: "sir, i think you're confused. this is the chancellor" [points to alcor, in palpatine's robes from his closet, making no attempt to hide his lack of resemblance to palpatine, with a nightmare at his side wearing a small top hat that proclaims its position as "chancellor's assistant"] palpatine: [screams of frustration]

gremgeous the gem pillar Once they reaize the shift in mission assignments can be attributed to new palp

gremgeous the gem pillar AKDJDJDJSJSJSBEJSJSJSHSJSKS

swbeeworm yesss this

gremgeous the gem pillar I wanna say maul gets the joy and pleasure of offibg palpatine the second time in that version

swbeeworm FINALLY they get a chance to pull one back over on someone, pass along the suffering a little bit

swbeeworm oh definitely

oh shit we've been at this for an hour

gremgeous the gem pillar Maul comes back and offs palps and evrryone is jist like "Maul!!! How?!?" And completley ignore the palpatibe corpse 2.0 Ajdhhd so we have Niiiight book

Also from a tumblr post the phrase "your pal friendpatine" is hilarious and i think yall shoukd enjoy it too As is "SOMEHOW... MAUL RETURNS" Both taken from the same post lol Okokok so switchibg tracks for a bit Revisiting Some groundwork for the mistaken sith version Alcor is there..... because al-v was there first, made friends with the droid army mid clone war, and caled his dad in to help Which puts alcors initial point of contact as the separost foot soldiers

gremgeous the gem pillar No matter what the dominant language alcor has most recently been using OH OH OH ALCOR WITH ACESS TO OTHER UNIVERSE SLANG CONFUSING ALL THE SENATE WITH HIS NONSENSICAL PHRASES AND IDIOMS AND SLANG/PROFANITY LIKE "over the moon" AND "hot belgian waffles" AND "fuck" "Palpatine": [drops paperwork he JUST spent so much time disorganizing (as in putting in a dissaray)] FUCK Senator: .... sir, what is a 'fuck' "Palpatine": ......... im not explaining that to you Or conversley he makes smth up Alcor, upon realizing the most common swear word is "kriff': yeaht hats stupid im not saying that Alcor mercilessly roasting the star wars profanity And how stupid they all sound. This one is great for the al-v and alcor make friend w a droid army and maybe-sorta steal them while massivelt confusing and mystifying everyone along the way, bc why not add a language barrier on top of all the other assumptions and misunderstandings >:D But also at the same time it would make sense for him to have got thw local language in an infodump somewhere along the line (maybe an older version) if its located in a different galaxy but the same universe........... but also what if theyre just suoer far away so he didnt get priority acess...... or even if he traveled back in time ............. [Shrug] idk Mwanwhile inexplicably having the same language is hilarious in the demon lose in the senate ons but also imagine alcor pretending to be palpatine while unable to speak the common tongue lolol I know it wouldnt work (he has to be able to understand palpatine on some level to take MASSIVE advantage of him and eat his soul) but it is hilarious to think abt the shenanigans............ OH GOSH ALCOR TAKING CONTROL OF THE SENAT BUT BEING UNABLE TO R E A D AKDBSKSKJFF Okokok Imagine the basic/english language inexplicably being the same structure w a few different words and concepts...... when spoken And completley different when written down SO ALCOR CAN SPEAK BUT HE CANT READ Meanwhile in mistaken for a sith land alcor either doesnt have any knowledge of the local language or else gets a SUPER OLD AND POSSIBLE DEAD LANGUAGE in an infodump (to help feed the misunderstandings and rumors and future clashes w the sith and the jedi hehhehheh) bc semi-omniscience is not total omniscience and so is not everything and, once again, is not very helpful But ill leave off for tonight on the thought of alcor, lose in the senate, in the seat of the chancellor, lord of all paperwork for the galactic republic....... and able to read NONE of it And barely understands it too (demons are not ones for politics, Brian the Organ Duck and his 200 year sucessful presidency run aside) (his is soemthing of the exception, not the rule.) Meanwhile all those humanitarian aid bills and the like are all being passed by bail and padmes group all over the place bc their strange and inexplicable source of resistance was devoured like, a week ago Not ones to look a gift horse in ths mouth until AFTER they get what they want the group passes a ton of bills without delay - and manages to break up a few monopolies along the way Now im not saying that "palpatine" suddenly acting off and the bills facing a lot less resistance is a noticeable coincidence...... and around the same time he stops asking after anakin ............... but im totally saying they notice it and realize its probably, absolutely, not a coincidence and theyre not going to say anything bc they like this new "palpatine" better. Despite all the other mindbending weirdness and mindfuckery going on there The jedi are only mad abt alcor bc a few of their own started bleeding from the eyes nose and ears when they tried to investigate initially so theyre a little ticked off abt that, which, fair.

Also the blantant lying and lack of trying on alcors part is a little insulting to them as a whole ("does he think we'll really fall for that") and is slightly concerning to them ("who the heck is this, someone is inpersonating the chancellor of the ENTIRE REPUBLIC-" Which is, admittedly, a little concern worthy)  but if the council is honest (or some of the council anyway) with themselves its pretty much the darn best entertainmnt theyve had in a good long while, headaches aside, sot ehyll focus more on the okd palpatines dissapernace and dealings than the new "palpatine" so long as he doesnt start doing anything ACTIVELY damaging to the republic. A little mischief doesnt technically count as harm- and hey theys preffer to find the og chancellor b4 upsetting and potnetially causing the new one to do smth drastic by attsmpting to out him (not that alcor would, its so much funnier to deny everything to their faces while blatantly lying but they dont know that. So caution (and stress) it is)

[fallingsunflower]

BESTIES I'm so sorry - I hit my post limit waaaay earlier than expected! Some of y'all joined me on my backup account, (which I also hit the limit on lmao), but I'm back now.

I had over 400 asks to go through and I'll give you a warning that not all of them will appear (either because they were old or because they were topics we already answered). But here is a giant list of asks I compiled for you from when I wasn't allowed to post lol they don't really require my response but I found them entertaining to read. Hope you don't mind I've just put them all together in one post. It's also to save me from using up my 250 posts lol

"this is all so embarrassing like my god imagine when the promotion of the movie starts how horrible it will be for other people who made the movie too"

"SELL UR TICKETS TODAY WATCH THE MOVIE ILLEGALLY, next article we’ll be talking about these two assholes filing for bankruptcy. cheap harlots. don’t mess with your meal ticket."

"hate to say it but i defs think they‘ve got a sliver of the gp’s attention for five minutes"

"I am scanning through all these photos looking for just ONE where he looks like he's smiling and enjoying this. It's so crazy."

"I guess those are all the pics we’re getting right now. But I wouldn’t be surprised if they finish the Italy trip off with one more major Backgrid photo shoot."

"Olivia’s trending on Twitter but not Harry. Like it’s obvious who’s getting the PR gains here!"

"If they dont give us a 6 month or more break after this im gonna need them to pay for my therapy bills from now on bc of this damage no joke let me crawl back into my shit hole now 😑"

"The palce they at is referred to as “tuscanys best-kept secret”. Everyone point and laugh."

"she looks like she’s enjoying all of this. he looks like he wants to push her into the water."

"a few people said he’s keeping his shorts pulled up or covered in all the shots because of the Nike branding which they ask to not get photographed. What a setup."

"Man I knew the second those Tomdaya pics came out of them kissing and how they were trending so fast that HO were going to do something to 'top' them. Its pathetic /// FRRR. she probably hoped for the positive reactions that people gave tom & zendaya but unfortunately, miss girl got the opposite. when will they realize that nobody, but his fans, find them cute lmao can they just stop, it’s so embarrassing 😭😭😭"

"He really out here doing this with someone who almost old enough to be his mother, shiiiiiiiit. Sickening. Sick of these 2 for real now, i was fine with the good old blurry back content and whatnot but this? Crossing a line here nobody wanna see that shit and knowing how people feel goooooood damn."

"I aboslutely despise kendall for obvious reason but this one is actually worse than the hendall one bc you couldnt really see as much as now dis gos tang."

"She’s also wearing the cross necklace again. I feel like if that was so meaningful to her she wouldn’t risk loosing it in the ocean 🙄"

"guys have eyes on tmz. I Do not have tw now. they were so aggressive towards them"

"I'm sorry for Harry because you lost your damn mind bro"

"Now why the hendall pics are better ?? NO SHADE BUTT"

"I’m genuine confused like do they actually want dwd to flop or what? I just threw up in my mouth I sure as hell ain’t gonna watch their sorry ass movie. Is it supposed to flop? I’m so confused!"

"The match was not interesting enough so they cooked up something different especially since people were pointing out how they staged the PDA. And the page 6 article is out already!!!"

"Who the fuck thought this was a good idea"

"Is it just me or does harry's face looks really blank for someone out on a Romantic date with his alleged girlfriend.?"

"if thats it, harry hasn’t no game🤣🤣🤣🤣"

"so this is why the tabloids weren’t talking about the match pics! they didn’t have any value on their own. now with the yacht pics? my oh my they’re gonna get the clicks of their lives. her team was prob like “wait a sec we got something for y’all”"

"If they were models hired to act like a couple they wouldn't get the job......"

"Not them starring right at the camera in some of them help make it less obvious will you"

"HENDALL🤣🤣🤣is that uuuu"

"Harry’s ass crack thought it should make an appearance too."

"What a great day for team PR, happy Monday you guys! Let's pop the champagne 🍾🍾🍾🍾 P. S. They both need acting lessons, tbh"

"It’s quite interesting how everything that’s happened before I’ve seen predicted weeks/and in advance on blogs or fan accounts. Like his life has always been so predictable but damn"

"He was hiding the Nike check. That’s why his swim trucks are rolled up to an absurd degree even for him. He knew he was gonna get photographed."

"What I’m noticing is wether people like them together or not, everyone’s saying they’re aren’t a hot couple…there was more chemistry in the Kendall pics by far"

"i also find it weird that he’s not smiling in any of the pictures and it would be one thing if there were five pics from ten minutes of time but there are like 70 from an obvious extended period of time"

"It's interesting everyone involved is being Team Try Hard. Yet the universe says no. The last set of pics, Tom and Zendaya overshadowed. People even paid more attention to Angelina and the Weekend (even if business possibly). Fast forward to today and all this fakery only for Gwen/Blake to tie the knot. His team needs to get a clue. She needs to go. Harry needs to clean this up fast."

"Ok i looked at one hugging pic and one kidding pic and they could not look more stagged. It looks unatural ,strange and weird from all angles. You can clearly see from their body posture they are posing for a photographer from backgrid."

"Like I said in my ask a couple days ago the day we get kissing pics is the day that I believe this is all a stunt and I was right. They took a page out of hendall 2016 and it’s looks so forced and awkward. Hendall did it better cause at prater they had chemistry. They must be scared this movie is going to tank because they are pushing this way too hard"

"Real, PR, or whatever relationship it is, they’re fucking boring. You are on a yacht in Italy, can’t you have a little bit of fun? I can’t believe how boring they are, I just can’t. Even if it is just PR, can’t you make a fucking dumb joke so you can laugh or something? Do they have anything in common like to talk about or discuss or make fun of? I’d literally killed myself if I looked like that in a relationship. They are not communicating in any photos we’ve got. They are just walking, or sitting. Even when they hold hands or kiss or hug, they never communicate."

"okay but did ya’ll see the pic of her diving in?? i can’t stop laughing 😭😭😭😭"

"they look horrifically awkward i cannot believe what harry is doing"

"“HEY PAPS COME GET A PIC OF US KISSING TO MAKE OUR RELATIONSHIP MORE BELIEVABLE!!!!!”"

"his ass is hanging out and her bra is almost off what in the hell"

"Hqs on a yacht like that? Mhmhmhm hmmmmm / I bloody well hope that’s not the extend of their acting. That’s dire! 🤦‍♀️"

"this is literally the most predictable “couple” to exist. first, people talked about them showing up the game, and they did. second, people were just talking about kissing pics... AND THEY JUST CAME OUT LMAOOOOOO"

"annnnnnnnnnnnnd there it is. YOU KNOW THEY KNEW THERE WAS A CAMERA."

"ok but where’s the pda or did that get made up? cause these have to be the most awkward pics i’ve ever seen which makes me feel better 😂 also i can feel the meme’s coming with the one of her diving off the boat"

"I call it how I see it they are both assholes and full of shit. Like do your fake kiss somewhere else I do not want to see it!"

"Can they at least act like they’re having a good time?"

"hahahaha I can't stop laughing with that photo of O it's literally her knowing she's being photographed and diving into a professional swimmer style😭"

"the pics are so organic that Olivia is looking straight at the pap before kissing Harry."

"he looked a lot happier with kendall in their yacht pics compared to today’s. i know that was PR too, but he was very smiley and seemed talkative. with this girl it’s like the complete opposite lmao."

[courage-a-word-of-justice]

HypMic 7 - 9 | Maou-jou 5 - 6 | Akudama Drive 6 - 8 | I7 s2 6 - 9 | Taiso Samurai 5 - 6

HypMic 7

I will never not laugh at the content advisory, haha.

I like Kazuha already. Too bad he’s probably evil…

Oh, is it the day of the DRB in the series already…? Or maybe, because it’s the qualifiers, BB and MTC’s match is on a different day to FP and MTR’s.

Oh? Does Tom know Jakurai well enough to call him “Jakurai-sensei”? (<- middle ground between “Jinguji-sensei/Sensei” and “Jakurai”) Also, Tom uses “ore”.

Ooh, Iris is a motorbike rider, eh? Interesting. I thought they (<- not sure if Iris is a “she” or “he” with a really weird name) were more of a Saburo-type and didn’t bother with things like that, based on their appearance. Update: Someone on Yahoo Answers said based on Iris’s watashi, she is a woman.

Typo fixed! Good job, anime staff! Update: I’m referring to “…darkest hour is just before the down” (sic).

…bukkorosu = “f***in’ slaughter ‘em”. It’s not wrong…it’s just the subbers really like to abuse the F word for MTC. But you knew that already if you got this far…right?

LOL, Ramuda wants to “scratch [Rex’s] back” (figuratively) to…get SNS views? Hahaha.

This Studio Alita is probably a reference to Shinjuku Alta.

Yotsutsuji!!! That was the one big spoiler I got before watching the episode today and I’m so happy I got to see him animated!

(One of) Irihatoma and Degarashi refer to Jakurai as “Jakurai-sensei” as well. Hmm, I never noticed. Update: That’s Degarashi, because Irihatoma speaks to Jakurai alone later this ep.

There’s 50% chance I’m getting this wrong, but I’m going to go out on a limb and say Kazuha is voiced by a veteran VA…one I already know about.

Doppo calls Kazuha by his first name…That upgrade means their relationship escalated quickly (or this is a quirk of HypMic in general, since I noticed most characters are on first name basis with each other). Also, it’s cute Doppo finally has someone in his corner. No other part of the franchise has one, to my memory. Update: It might actually be “Kazuha-kun”…but I’m still surprised though. Update 2: It’s both, actually.

I’ve listened to the phrase “some random guy” several times from Hifumi’s mouth and all I can figure out is the “yatsu” at the end. (Doesn’t help my ears blocked themselves up again, although it’s less than it used to be.)

Harumi Wharf.

R? On a helicopter landing pad?

…uh oh. I was right when I thought Kazuha was going to be evil. Also, Doppler shift/effect. Update: “Doppler” is clearly a pun on “Doppo”.

Hmm? “Hey, Doppo” from “yaa”…it doesn’t have a name referred in there. It’s a small but odd thing to do. (I remember a professional translator was complaining that people with intermediate Japanese were giving them flak for translating things “wrong”, but what I do here is analysis for my future and edificiation. I’m not here to knock down pro translators’ doors and demand a refund, because I’m trying to go pro to atone for my sins as a scanlator.)

The soundtrack’s slightly sinister tone, plus the fact I figured the culprit well before Doppo did, makes me slightly scared…for MTR.

I realised they skimped on the budget…this “hot off the car chase” line seems more like an MTC line, doesn’t it…?...Yeah, it’s almost word for word for MTC in DRB+. Maybe the subbers rushed and used this translation (this link I put here) rather than their actual lyrics…? I will have to get to the bottom of this. Update: Turns out the translation is slightly different, but…yes, there is reference to a car chase in the start of Shinjuku Style. (Sorry, I don’t know every lyrics of every song off the top of my head.)

…wow, this got really Doppo-centric. I’ve never seen the leader relinquish their position when it comes to “leading into battle” before. It just goes to show the staff really do pay attention to how popular Doppo is.

Note “Doppo” means “walk alone”, roughly speaking, hence the “solitary” line.

This song is very, very faithful to its original lyrics, because I was trying to look at Hifumi’s “mixing paint” line and it pretty much matches.

Hifumi’s “my men”, LOL.

Kazuha = “one leaf”, hence the “leaves” in one of Jakurai’s lines.

I cringe every time I hear screaming coming from this episode, y’know…?

…oh dear. MTC’s plot actually bled into MTR’s.

I already knew from browsing Twitter earlier today that Kizuna was going to become FP’s today, but hearing it is another matter entirely.

Kosuke Miyoshi is Kazuha. Apparently, this guy also voiced Mashirao Ojiro (the tail guy) from BnHA, but that’s his only major role…so I was right in that I knew him, but wrong in that he was, again, a relative rookie in comparison to most.

Apparently FP’s sign is a peace sign sideways to represent an F, but…it’s just a sideways peace sign to me…

…how is Dice’s bead ornament attached to him? Is it on his hair, on his ear, on the skin behind his ear…? I was trying to replicate his outfit and got stuck on how to represent it, so I ended up opting for trying (and failing) to do a small braid on the right side.

IWGP shows up this season…it’s the song with the “hoo!” noise BB perform in this episode.

LOL, “Dead men tell no tales” is a perfect saying for MTC.

Akudama 6

Is there a movie called “Brother”…? There’s apparently one that’s the plural of that, but not that itself.

If HypMic likes the F bomb, then Akudama like the S word.

I-Is it just me or is the choreography sped up at some points in this episode…? It’s a bit disorienting to come back to.

I thought the kid was a robot…but close enough.

Oh no! Why does the teacher always have to die for the student to become stronger???

Kairaku/shugi -> pleasure/doctrine (if I didn’t somehow misunderstand the shark’s kanji combo),

The part after the ED looks a little too long…keep watching.

The Japanese says “Lost Children”, but the English says “The City of Lost Children”, probably referring to this French sci-fi film.

I7 s2 6

I like how Gaku is taking special offence to Yamato’s comments about him being a playboy.

Re:vale-san. I never noticed until now.

“I’m already looking forward to it.” That’s how I would translate Tsumugi’s “I’m already excited”.

“…who could possibly complain?” – I think Mitsuki might.

The pun in the MEZZO show is that tai (group/squad) sounds the same as tai (want to ~). Rabbinsta is obviously Instagram + Rabbit (Chat?).

Oh my gosh! It’s the Yotsuba sister!

Mitsuki’s shopping trip OST is nice, man. This piano.

This episode has a really great sense of danger and foreboding for the future.

I7 s2 7

Perfection Gimmick. Never heard it in the anime before.

Even the ramen house’s name is a play on “Idolish7”.

LOL, Yamato sure turned that comment around.

The sign talking about beer says something about coupons below it. (It went by too fast and my CR app’s kinda fiddly, so I can’t really go back…)

Kimi to Ai na Night (pun on Idolish7, aka “AiNana”, again).

Mitsuki, no one hates you! You’re just imagining it all!

I7 s2 8

Momo hugely resembles Sasara, right down to the highlights on the hair…

“…you’re so handsome…” – I’m dying on the inside here, people! *laps up the BL pandering with a derpy smile on my face*

Banri and Tsumugi haven’t been focussed on lately…they’re clearly doing something regarding Banri’s ties with Re:vale, but I can’t quite figure out what that “something” is.

Why is there a basketball and a football in the back of the Takanashi office…?

Please don’t run in heels, Tsumugi…

“I love Idolish7!” - Ah, despite my quibbles, Tsumugi is good after all.

“making one’s best exertions” – Why do those words on the cup worry me a bit…?

Isn’t “I’m watching you” a creepy statement…?

Apparently Tamaki’s symbol is mp (mezzo pianissimo), hence Sougo’s words.

…my gosh! Aya’s foster father is Kujou?!

I7 s2 9

If I heard it right, Tenn’s line was “I can be your idol”, not “your prince”.

“Older Izumi” - …ah, poor Mitsuki.

“Damn you, sexy beast…” – LOL!

…aw, I think this is the first time my heart has been lightened by Tsunashi’s laugh. He’s a good boy.

The chibis…I’m still trying to get used to them…

As a song once said, “You can’t please everyone so you just gotta please yourself.” (Blah blah blah, something about garden parties…)

Takao what now???...okay, Takao Dayuu.

…You’re lucky that wasn’t Tenn doing Takao Dayuu. It would’ve been very “Gentaro does his courtesan voice” if it was.

Nagi doesn’t overpronounce things as much in this season. It’s…pleasant, actually. Give me more of that.

Nagi’s “Oh my god!” was hilarious.

Taiso 5

Ra (ら) and ro (ろ) look kinda similar in hiragana.

Even without the audio, I can guess the words were “yarubeki koto” (things you should do) -> shachihoko.

The texts are written in gyaru-moji. Gyaru-moji is basically indecipherable to anyone who doesn’t know how it works – kind of like the common teen vernacular, to be honest (LOL…?) – and so the subs actually kind of ruin the confusingness of it all, but they did slightly better when they went “UR”.

Movie shiritori! But…has it really been half a year since Leo started? I feel slightly robbed about that plotline with the Men in Black right now…(then again, HypMic is just as bad about important plotlines, if not worse, so…I’m going to be patient and not complain.)

July 5th…Rei is a Cancer…?

They’re…finally moving on this Men in Black plotline! I only complained two points ago! Thank you, staff, for listening to my complaints (…?).

Moon Land finished recently, so I wonder if I’ll lose interest in this anime from here on out…? There was a Pommel Horse Prince in that.

Moon Land taught me that gymnastics has a lot of skills named after their creators, much like the Aragaki previously. The score is out of 10 for both D (difficulty) and E (execution), meaning a 20 is the best you can do, but the judges can get really picky...

The word for “vault” literally means “leaping/jumping horse”…makes sense.

Some of these names are names I’m familiar with from Moon Land already…but I never remember what the skills look like.

…welp, Leo just proved he really is a ninja after all.

Dr Stone’s s2 had its ED announced to be “Koe?” by Hatena and “Yume?” here really makes a theme…does Hatena give all their song titles question marks on the end?

Taiso 6

Colour gangs? Like in IWGP?

It’s nice to see they’re (Jotaro and Rei) communicating properly for the first time in possibly this entire anime.

On the wall, that thing is an evacuation map…of some sort.

…I’ve always wondered: if a bird eats chicken, does that count as cannibalism?

This is like thw Makkachin incident all over again (in YoI).

“…there’s no reason for you to grin and bear it.”

…Leo and Jotaro, both are so dense! Boys *shakes head*.

BB? More like ET (LOL)!

Maou-jou 5

…I didn’t even notice the cast was all dudes bar the princess at this point.

Tatakau Onnatachi. It could mean “fighting women” or “female warriors”.

I’m still vaguely pissed that Kirito is here under my nose…darn Demon King!!!

One of the harpy’s recent worries was that she wanted to become friends with the princess…That’s kinda cute…

Didn’t Syalis already get the coffin that one time? Or did it get confiscated?

*eyes sparkle* Cloud…I’d like to sleep on a cloud…*dreamy look on face* Cloud.

This is basically Princess, ‘Tis Time for Torture in reverse.

Is it “make do” or “make due”…?

I don’t think I need to explain the joke where the harpy is happy.

Gendo pose!

I wonder if the bed or the sheets will talk to her (Syalis) someday?

Maou-jou 6

The New Gearbolt’s quote is “guruguru dokkan”, which is just a bunch of sound effects. It would translate to something like “whir-whir-thud”.

Underwear episodes are some of the worst episodes ever…they’re so juvenile…I dropped at least one series based on the underwear episode alone.

Ah! The seal on the ice monster’s shoulder! Too cute!

How can a mechanical princess mecha (…thing?) have worries?

LOL, never underestimate the hilarity of the teddy demons ganging up on the Demon King.

I like how the Japanese pointed out the demons only moved the princess.

HypMic 8

I thought the robberies were Kazuha’s doing…? Or is this a separate case?

Samatoki answering his phone with his feet up…LOL, there’s just something funny about it. It shows he’s just so badass, he can get away with it.

Riou’s hacking (?) skills come to the fore again. (Or is that listening to enemy intel?)

Ooh, Iris is sassy. I love her already.

…er, Samatoki? Blowing cigarette smoke into Jyuto’s face is just rude…

“…don’t hang up your gloves.” – Considering Jyuto has his red gloves…LOL.

What the heck is that backing track when the 2nd car moved out? That’s a cool track.

Ah! Iris is a Saburo-type…LOL, Saburo’s fake identity.

“a cop who’s in with the yakuza” - Wow, way to diss your own teammate, Samatoki.

For a guy who was only just in the water, Riou doesn’t even look wet.

“2 DIE 4” – Hmm? So did the anime staff know what Riou’s 2nd round song title was at the time…? Update: Judging by the name “Requiem” dropped in the next episode, I would say yes.

“…f*** the police…” - Wow, way to diss your own teammate, Samatoki. X2

Hmm? In Riou’s rap bit near the end, he goes “mad warrior” and that rhymes (in a very loose way of speaking) with “Mad Trigger”. The English didn’t keep that.

I remember seeing a spoiler which said that line (the one about slaves)…but seriously, Jyuto is such a “sexy revenge cop” (as someone once said – I think it might be Slug, or an anon to Slug) that literally nothing else seems to matter about him.

Why do they subtitle the laughing??? I still have no idea.

“Sgt. Iruma”? The guy just says “Iruma-san”. Is he a sergant or some other rank? Update: Yes. (As in, he is a sergant.)

I’ve never actually seen Ramuda sleep in a bed before, come to think of it. Does he not have a bed?

I would assume Gentaro is going…but he said he won’t be going, then negated that and then negated it again. Unless the 2nd time was him admitting it was a lie the first time…is he going or not???

“shinsetsu no human” – (Spoilers for later on/manga)…Yes, that’s actually what Ramuda says. It’s as if Ramuda subtly admits, right there, he isn’t human.

Nodo = throat…If this were translated more literally, it would sound pretty clunky.

“…rappa no inochi…paa!” – Yep, the subbers got the gist of the joke there.

Dice is basically a worm at this point…He’s squirming like one, anyway.

That “number of pips facing up” thing has got to be foreshadowing for something, y’know? Nothing in a story ever goes to waste. Also, it’s likely the dice are weighted or something…

…yep, there you go.

That voice Gentaro used for “I despise lies” was amusing…because it’s so different to his normal voice, and because Gentaro is a serial liar.

The 2nd song…which I already know is called “JACKPOT” from browsing Twitter earlier today…was a bunch of fun.

Udagawacho.

Hmm…emphasis on the candy. I wonder what that means? (<- already knows, I just want to keep it a secret from you, dear reader, if you don’t know it too)

ANIME SHOP is so clearly a pun on Animate, including the colours, that I can’t even…LOL.

FP’s Kizuna sounds distinctly different to the others…probably because of Ramuda. It’s mostly Ramuda carrying the tune there.

“Life is what you make it.” – Hmm, an interesting quote for sure.

HypMic 9

…welp, they don’t call it Fling Posse for nothin’.

I didn’t believe my ears, so I went and listened to it again. Sure enough, Ichiro calls Jakurai -san, not -sensei.

Ramuda’s normal voice! Things are getting serious~!

“Hifuming”? Is that a deliberate choice on the translators’ part? Or is it a mishearing?

…I’m laughing at how Samatoki called Ichiro a “hypocritical piece of s***”. I know the “s***” part is correct at minimum from the audio.

I believe Samatoki said -san, not -sama when he asked for an honorific. Hmm, interesting.

I knew this would get animated, but…I still can’t believe I’m watching it! Amazing…absolutely amazing.

If you’re wondering…yes, that long thing is her entire title and name. It’s said the name “Kadenokouji” is the longest Japanese surname in existence.

I remember reading a tweet earlier today that said somebody wanted “Altercation! Altercation! Altercation!” as a song title…and now I LOL, because the subbers made Gentaro say the exact same word.

Hmm…I only just noticed BB are the only ones with bags. They probably came last, but who took the others’ bags into Chuoku…? Update: Some of the others did have bags, I just never spotted them. For instance, Riou is carrying a large black rectangular bag, but Samatoki and Jyuto don’t have any. Jakurai has the bag from his TDD days.

The 2nd DRB brackets got announced today. BB vs DH, MTR vs BAT, FP vs MTC, rolling out across Japan (and Japan only due to COVID) in 2021.

“What happened between you and him?” - I was going “who?” in Cantonese (as I sometimes do), but turns out they’re just referring to Samatoki.

This is exactly as it played out in the drama tracks and manga…exactly what I was waiting for all this time! So good, dangit!

LOL, in the future, we will have camera drones working our concerts like they do in the DRBs…I think (?)

I wonder what Dice is thinking right now, seeing Otome on the screen…hmm…

…gah! Airhorn! Airhorn to the ears! *tilts to side due to sound*

I still kind of remember Slug’s take on the final battle…”The popo? More like the poopoo!” (or something like that). *sniggers*

The little barking bit after Jiro’s verse was…kinda cute, actually.

…ow, these are some burn-ass words. See? This is the power of the DRB!

…eh? Riou’s mic has his MC name on it. Don’t think I’ve seen that in any other part of the series.

Hoh, Riou even made references to Saburo’s character songs.

You can see “Hc” on Samatoki’s mic too…probably another case of his MC name, but partially obscured by his hand.

Aw, “Samatoki no sabaku toki” is a good lyric. Why couldn’t you try to keep that, instead of translating it literally to “judgement day for Samatoki”?

You can hear a thumping beat in the background when Samatoki prepares himself. That seems to be a similar way to how ARB treats this stuff.

“I’m THE Samatoki” – “Samatoki-sama da”.

I think it was really cool to show Samatoki handing the song over to Riou, but it also indicates there’s a disjunct in the lyrics that would cause such a thing. From this, maybe Riou is MTC’s weak link…?

Skeletons with katanas! Is that not cool?!?

…hey, that joined words thing Ichiro does…I would assume that’s what Rhyme Strike looks like in the HypMic universe?

Notice Samatoki took the word “signal” from Ichiro’s part and put it into his own one.

“Today is a good day to die.” – *eyes bulge* Oh…gosh. What a quote. Update: Someone theorised Ichijiku wrote these titles (the last 2), but someone else – like me – theorised this quote was what FP and M fans thought for this battle.

Akudama 7

…that’s one twisted kid.

Never threaten to kill a kid who can regenerate far better than you, Hoodlum.

Brawler is still in the OP…it’s kind of saddening to see him now.

I noticed a certain character appears on the Executioners’ hands if you pause at the right moment in the OP. It’s the first character in shori (management).

Bunny: set meal/Shark: roasted meat (yakiniku)

…This sounds a heck of a lot like the genbaku dome (Hiroshima Peace Park).

Bunny and Shark’s shirts together: Idiot -> Shark: Bone

Actually, this also reminds me of the Osaka Expo held in 1970. I loved writing about that event – it was just so fun to write about.

This anime is like Appare-Ranman’s sequel, except without the racing and crazy racial stereotypes (although there are still crazy stereotypes).

…whoa! This scene is going on the end of year list for sure. Just…have to remember this scene, where all the children disappeared, exists.

…”The City of Lost Children” is an apt title for this episode.

(HypMic spoilers!) I wonder if they’ll reveal that Ramuda is a clone in what’s left of the HypMic anime?

…oof, Doctor’s a filthy traitor!

Rule number 1 of fighting: never yell out “Smokescreen!” when the smokescreen is meant to cover you.

…LOL, dark censorship bar. Please wait for the Blu-Rays to see this scene uncensored.

What the heck?! The countdown went from 7 to 0 so fast!

Akudama 8

Black Rain, huh? *checks* It’s a movie about a pair of New York policemen who have to save a Japanese gangster from his death.

…don’t jinx it, Swindler!

Your brother isn’t on the moon, Sister. It’s just your dreams on there.

Notice “Neo Lake Biwa” actually has “Reiku” in its name, as opposed to, say, “mizuumi” or “ike” (the Japanese equivalent).

You can still see where Doctor stitched herself up.

What did Doctor “hold on to”?

Way to monologue through the whole morality thing… (<- not as satisfied as they would like from this scene)

I wonder if the seal is electronically tracked…

Tsubo = pot, vase…*thinks about drugs* (Not that pot.)

“…I’ll make you into a real man.” – More like a eunuch, LOL. (partially sarcastic)

I recall from Sarazanmai that “pair look” is the term for “twinsies” in Japanese.

Oh! Swindler kind of looks like the Executioner Boss now.

…I find it ironic that Swindler had long hair up until not too long ago.

Can to the eye! Ouch! That’s gotta be worse than a lightsaber…er, jitte to the eye!

This makes me wonder…was Courier a rich kid once…?

[jungshookz]

android!yoongi drabble - the vase

→ pairing: min yoongi x reader

→ genre: android!yoongi has retuRNED, usual dosage of crackheadiness, touch of anGst ouch, jealous!yoongi is always spicy, fluff!!!!, a lil bit of making out lol it’s what the birthday bot wanTed 

→ wordcount: 3.4k

→ summary: you take yoongi to a cute lil pottery place for his birthday so how did is it that jungkook is the one who ends up with his arms wrapped around you helping you form your vase? 

→ note: a lot of people have been wanting an android!yoongi drabble because appArently you guys miss him (me too binch) so here he is!!! okay i won’t lie this gets a little depressing but it GETS BETTER AT THE END don’t be upset with me i know this is supposed to be a happy birthday drabble lol anyways happy birthday to min frickin yoongi the man of my dreams 

(gif isn’t mine!)

“surprise!!” yoongi yanks the sleeping mask from his eyes and does a quick scan of his surroundings

a huge shelf on the right with a punch of ceramic plates and mugs

there are a couple sinks in the back

on the right are eight little stools in a big circle with a spinner in front of each one

each spinner has like a… a grey loaf of bread sitting on it

what in the world

“we’re making pottery! isn’t that exciting?? i rented out the entire place for us!”

yoongi ruffles his newly-dyed blonde hair (courtesy of tae) and looks around again

no

not really  

namjoon’s checking in at the front desk and he has to keep a firm hold on tae anD kook to make sure they don’t accidentally knock something over

joon doesn’t know why you chose to bring these animals to a place with very fragile and delicate items everywhere you turn

he can already imagine the cost of the damage bill that he’s inevitably going to have to pay

“Pottery? But it’s so messy. And the end result isn’t going to be pretty.” yoongi frowns and lets go of your hand “Pottery isn’t fun.”

you falter but quickly shake it off and recompose yourself

“well yeah i know but it’s all about the experiEnce and also it’s really fun playing with wet clay you’ll see-“

“Why don’t you just take me to an actual ceramics store and buy a professionally made, beautifully painted and polished, brand-new vase for me? That’d be much better than making one for me.” yoongi scoffs and pulls his phone out

okay

ouch

you’re about to fight back but you bite down on your tongue

you know what

he’s the birthday boy

if he doesn’t wanna do this that’s fine

you’ll admit you’re a lil disappointed because you thought this’d be really fun for him and u wanted to make things with him and also it’s a little too late to refund and cancel the reservations but

what can u do

“okay, well… are you just going to sit here and wait for us?” you gesture to the waiting area near the door

“I’m more than content with that.” yoongi plops down on the squeaky plastic chair before gesturing over to where the boys are “Go have fun. I’ll be here.”

ur not gonna have fun if your boyfriend is sitting all the way across the damn room

you purse your lips and let out a sigh

“ok i will.” you try your best not to sound disappointed and you hAte that your eyes are prickling with tears

u hate that you’re so sensitive

you just!!! wanted to have fun with yoongi and you really thought he’d at least put in a little drop of effort but appArently noT

yoongi’s eyes flicker up from his phone because he immediately sense your distress but

he doesn’t do anything

you hurry over to your spot and yoongi lets out a little sigh and pinches the bridge of his nose  

okay look

yoongi just doesn’t like celebrating his birthday because it’s not even a ‘birth’ day

today is just the day that he was officially put together and turned on and that’s just?? not a birthday to him

and that just makes him feel,.,,. weird

and it just reminds him that he’s not actually a human being celebrating their birthday

and then thAt reminds him that he’s not a human being in general

but he’s in a relationship with a human being which complicates things in the long run

and like

…

it’s pretty depressing stuff that he won’T get into right now because that’ll dampen his mood even more

anyways

the point is

he’s not human

he’s just a robot celebrating its.,. 2nd year of its creation

and he doesn’t want you guys saying ‘happy birthday you’re two years old!’ to him because that makes it sound like he’s a baby which he is definitely not

and he’ll admit

he’s being a little grumpy about the whole thing which isn’t fair to you because you did plan the entire day for him and he’s just shitting on your plan which is making him feel

not so great

yikes

maybe he was a little harsh on you

“you okay?” jungkook’s brows knit together in concern as you sit down next to him

“m’fine.” you murmur and quickly wipe away the tear that’s threatening to fall “yoongi’s just… being a yoongi.”

“he’s not going to… he’s not making anything with us?” jimin cuts in and glances over at yoongi over his shoulder

“nope.” you clear your throat “it’s okay! we’ll have fun without him. he’s just in a mood that’s all.”

there’s a bit of awkward tension in the group and you work quickly to dimINISH it

“so! what’s everyone making??”

“i’m making a mug!”

“i’m going to try to make a kettle”

“i’m making a gravy boat”

“we don’t even eat gravy”

“well..,.. we can use it for soy sauce or something idk”

“i think i’m going to make… a vase.” you dip your hands in the bucket of water sitting next to you before poking at your clay

yeah

you can probably make a vase

it shouldn’t be too hard of a task

“you’re copying me!”

“how am i copying you??”

“i make a mug and suddenly you’re making a mug??”

“wha- there’s only sO many things i can mAKE”

“i can list a hundred other things you can make that’s noT A mug”

“what is your pROBLEM”

“you know what i’m going to make a plate”

“well in that case i’ll make a plate TOO”

jungkook and jimin continue to bicker in the background and jimin gaSPs when jungkook slaps his arm and gets some clay on his new sweater

“you little puNK-“

your brows furrow in frustration as you step down on the pedal gently and your lopsided piece of clay starts spinning slowly

you place your hands around it and feel the clay beginning to take shape around your fingers

you’re just so

you’re mAD OkaY

you’ll admit it

you are mAD

you put so much effort into planning this for yoongi and he doesn’t even give it a chance????? he just rejects it immEdiATELY with no remorse and that is a pretty sucky feeling

he didn’t even explain himself he was just like i don’t like pottery and you should just let me buY a ‘’’’’’professionally-made’’’’’’’’ vase

you’ll show him

you’ll make a GREAT vase and you’ll rub it in his face whenever the opportunity arises

in the midst of your internal rage you don’t realize you’re pressing down on the pedal harder and your chunk of clay starts spinning wiLDLy

“y/n…”

like serIOUSLY he couldn’t even say a simple hey thanks for planning this for me but i’m really not into pottery!!!!!! and you would’ve been okay with that

“uh, y/n-“

oOH you should’ve given him a piece of your mind instead of backing off and reSpEctiNg tHe BirtHdAy bOy’s wiShes

you’ll take his wishes and shOVE IT UP HIS-

“y/N-“ namjoon shoves your foot off the pedal before your clay can ziP off your spinner and whack someone in the face “what is the matter with you???

“nothing, i’m just- don’t worry about it… your, uh… your bowl looks nice so far”

“i’m making a cup” namjoon frowns and looks down at his blob

“yoongi’s just being a dick, you know??” you blurt out and everyone glances over at yoongi who is still playing games on his phone and who stILL looks bored out of his mind

if he wasn’t so stubborn and just came over to make a plate or something hE WOULDN’T BE SO BORED BUT OBVIOUSLY HE DOESN’T WANT TO BECAUSE-

namjoon shoves your foot off the pedal again and scowls at you

“look. if he doesn’t wanna celebrate his birthday, he doesn’t wanna celebrate his birthday. what can you do, you know? don’t force him to do something if you know he’s not going to enjoy it. and yeah i agree with you!! he’s being a littLe bit of an asshole but-“

“yeah, yeah. i know. i’ll let it slide.” you mutter and squeeze the clay through your fingers

“okay, good. you can get mad at him tomorrow. now, i’m going to go and paint a pre-made cup because obviously the cup i made doesn’t even look like a cup.” you give him a sheepish smile and watch as he disappears to the painting station where most of the other boys are

actually all of the boys are there because they’ve already put their creations in the drying station and have moved on to paint some pre-made ceramics

it’s just you

alone

making this stupid vase that doesn’t even look like a vase

you spend the next ten minutes trying to mould the blob of clay into a vase but it seems like eveRYthing is against you today because it kind of looks like a dildo but like a really reALLy sad dildo that’s frowning at you

“whatcha doin” you hear jungkook behind you but you don’t turn around because that’S how focused you are

“making a vase - or tryIng to make a vase.” you mutter

you’re faintly aware of the sound of a stool screeching behind you and suddenly-

jungkook wraps his arms around you and hooks his chin up on your shoulder

you jump in surprise and turn your head and your cheeks flush immediately

“what are you up to?” you laugh lightly and reach down to grip at his forearm to try and wiggle him off

“petty revenge, that’s what i’m up to. play along.” jungkook shrugs innocently as he nudges your foot aside and steps down on the pedal

“petty- what’s that supposed to mean?” you dot a bit of clay onto jungkook’s nose and he wrinkles it

“i think you know what i mean. and it’s already working.” jungkook murmurs lowly before his eyes flicker over to the front

both of you glance over at yoongi and you’re surprised to see him glaring riGht back at you because

uh

UM

well thAT DOesn’t look like how pottery is made at all

yoongi feels his cheeks flare up immediately

he raises a brow and jungkook waves enthusiastically at the bot

yoongi continues glaring

jungkook maintains his smile and explains himself through gritted teeth “yoongi obviously is being an ungrateful ass android, so we’re going to see if triggering a particular emotion will make him get off his ass and come over. i’m all for being the bigger person and letting it slide, like namjoon-hyung told you to do - but i’m also all about being as peTTy as possible.”

he slides his hands down your forearms before his hands are rested atop of yours

and he steps down on the pedal gently

now

y/n like teN months ago would’ve been freaking out because wOW it’s junGKOOK and he has his arms wrapped around me and oh mY god he smells so good

but y/n now?

y/n now is freaking out because woW this is totally working yoongi looks so angry and it feels so good to have this power coursing through my veins >:-)

now

you’ll admit

this is petty

like a little tOO petty for you

you’d never think about doing something as extreme as this but you know what

it feels nice 2 be held when you’re feeling kinda gloomy

and jungkook has nice arms

but so does yoongi

and honestly

you find yourself imagining it’s yoongi’s arm wrapped around you as he continues helping you shape the vase

yoongi is

livid

absolutely

positively

l i v i d

first of all

how dare you

HOW dare you

how dare you let jungkook hold you like that right in front OF HIS EYES

and second of all

he is going to kill jungkook

the second namjoon finaLLy caves in and gives yoongi laser eyes

yoongi’s going to FRY jungkook to a crisp

he knows what you’re doing

he’s aware of how upset and angry you are right now

and he wasn’t going to say anything because he hates conflict and he hates fighting with you

but now

now he has to say something

maybe he’ll say something later

he’ll let you have your moment and then he’ll-

jungkook nudges his nose into your cheek affectionately and yoongi swears he feels a screw pop loose inside of him

that’s noT ALLOWED

IT’S NOT ALL O WE D

“Move, you brat.” yoongi is next to you guys in less than a second and jungkook looks up at him with his big round eyes

you, on the other hand, you’re pretending like yoongi isn’t even there

“hyung! i was just helping y/n make-“

“Move, or I’ll make you.” yoongi hisses and jungkook immediately raises his hands in defence before getting up off the stool

yoongi gives him a little shove and jungkook scowls

he’s about to shove back but he knows yoongi could probably crush his bones just by blowing on him

yoongi takes jungkook’s seat behind you

a beat of silence goes by

ok

he didn’t think this through

he doesn’t know how to approach this situation

is he allowed to touch you

on a scale from 1-10 how angry are you with him (it’s a 12 and he’s well aware of that)

you freeze when yoongi slinks his arms around your waist and props his chin up on your shoulder

“I’m sorry, jagi.” yoongi mutters and you immediately relax

you’re so soft for him it’s crazy

you took it too far so you should probably apologise for that

“it’s okay” you murmur and keep your eyes on your spinning vase “i’m sorry i-“

“No, don’t say anything. It’s not okay. I shouldn’t… I was rude earlier and it wasn’t right. You didn’t deserve to be treated like that. I just… I’m not going to get into everything right now but I just feel like this whole… birthday thing reminds me that I’m not actually a human being, you know?”

oh

aw

:-(

if you’d had known you wouldn’t have done anything in the first place

you’re about to speak up but yoongi continues talking and you feel him shift behind you and wrap his arms tighter around you

“It reminds me that I-I won’t be able to grow old with you and we won’t be able to have children and- that sucks because I…” he nuzzles his face into your neck and furrows his brows “I don’t wanna think about that.”

and then you feel it

your shoulder is

wet

“yoongi…” you turn your head and your lips part in surprise when you realise yoongi’s crying into your shoulder

oh my god

yoongi’s never

cried before

“oh my god, yoongi,” you breathe out and twist around so that you can wrap him up in a hug immediately

it’s kind of an awkward position but your comfort is the lasT thing on your mind

“And now I’m leaking fluids which proves that today must be cursed.” yoongi grumbles and wipes at his face frustratedly “There’s dust in my eye, probably.”

you’ve never been good at comforting people so you’re not sure what the best thing to say here is because like

there is an inkling of truth behind everything he’s said

unfortunately

“don’t think about today like we’re celebrating another year that’s gone by with you being a robot. think about today like we’re celebrating another year of… us! of you waking me up every morning by ripPing off my blanket and attaCking me with kisses. of you noT allowing me to eat an XL pizza in one sitting.” yoongi scoffs and wipes away another tear

“Is there a point to all of this?”

“another year of… you loving me and me loving you even more.” you lean back against yoongi and plant a small kiss on his cheek “i love you.”

“I know.”

“we don’t have to celebrate your birthday next year if you don’t want to-“

“No, no. I want to. I want to celebrate my birthday… with you. Thank you for planning all of this for me. I really appreciate it.”

he looks down at the vase on the spinner “…But please let me fix this vase because there’s no way I’m proudly displaying this lopsided mug in our apartment.”

“god,,.., looK at them” namjoon gags dramatically before turning back to continue painting his (nicer) cup

“i’d gladly let them have sex in the back if it means he’ll be less grumpy.” hoseok snorts and continues to paint a little daisy on his plate “why’d you make him so grumpy in the first place??”

“i didn’t!!!!! he kinda just came out like that!!”

if you guys were in a cartoon there would be a plethora of pink and red cartoon hearts floating around you and yoongi

obviously yoongi took over with the vase-making responsibilities because he’s a perfectionist

you were going to make a mug or something next to him but yoongi insisted this was the beSt way for him to focus

which is interesting because this technique seems very distracting

you’re perched on yoongi’s lap facing him

“are we getting flowers for the vase?” your arms are wrapped loosely around his neck

yoongi leans forward and gives your nose a kiss

“Obviously. Red roses, preferably.”

“it took me like an hour just to form the shape of a plate and it’s taking yoongi like three seconds to make a perfectly round vase.” jimin pouts and looks at his sorta-flat-sorta-not plate

yoongi’s not even looKIng at the vase it’s like his hands have minds of their own and they’RE shaping the vase pERFECTLy  

like he.,., he’s definitely making out with u a little but his hands are still!!! workING away!!!!!

“that doesn’t seem like a very effEctive way to make a vase, you freaks!” taehyung whines and yoongi flips him off quickly “wha- don’t flip me off! i can cut your generous eight-inches down to a puny-“

“nO PENIS TALK” namjoon smacks the younger boy

“are you sure this isn’t distracting?” you twist your body to take a glance at the vase “because i feel like-“

“Nope, I’m good.” yoongi reaches up and pinches your chin in between his thumb and his pointer finger so he can twist your head back so that you’re facing him

you whine and swipe at the wet clay on your chin “you got it all over me!!”

yoongi grins and leans in to give u another kiss

he’d be happy to celebrate his birthday evEryday if it means you perched up on his lap showering him with kisses

also

there’s a handprint on your ass now thanks to him  

help me help you make your wishes come tru (aka send me a request)

masterlist

[punkscowardschampions]

Rio & Buster

Rio: Quick, gimme a place I could be going

Buster: Where do scumbag lads from the 24 holiday?

Rio: 😑

Rio: Safe to say nowhere that looks like the French Riviera

Rio: going somewhere without phone signal guys, no there won't be pics to show you when I'm back either, bye

Buster: For real though, you could say you've got a job somewhere

Buster: No tourist shots 'cause you're working so hard, like

Buster: Under lock and key serving those drinks

Rio: Hmm

Rio: might work

Rio: can just say it was shit when I come back after no time at all

Buster: When you're getting picking grapes at a vineyard but don't get picked by the man of your dreams 💔

Buster: You just can't get the daddies these days, babe

Rio: 😂 Shut up

Rio: clearly past it but you don't need to rub it in

Buster: You shut up

Buster: You're with me, you've never looked better

Rio: Firstly, that's the point, no I ain't

Rio: Stick to the story boy!

Buster: 😂

Buster: Didn't realise you were screenshotting this convo, like

Rio: Obviously

Rio: Everyone so highkey

Rio: Like no one's questioning Nance what she's really doing or who she's going with 🙄

Buster: If you wanna go gay so nobody questions why you're coming with me you probably should've put some groundwork in before now

Buster: Better go kiss some hot girls quick, like

Rio: Very subtle, babe

Rio: Been there, done that

Rio: still don't think it's gonna be bought

Buster: 😏

Buster: Have you actually?

Rio: 🙄

Rio: FOCUS

Buster: I am

Buster: On that

Rio: Thought you didn't like sharing?

Rio: Double standard, like

Buster: It was before me so I'm not

Rio: Hmm

Rio: Not dying to know all the hot lads I've kissed though are you 😂

Buster: We can compare numbers if you want, babe

Buster: No shame here

Rio: Knew it 😏

Rio: Posh boys

Buster: It's not my fault if half the boys at school are in love with me

Buster: Irresistible, aren't I

Rio: So charitable

Buster: Well, I was gonna take you shopping before we go but if you don't wanna then fine

Rio: I was being nice

Rio: 😇

Buster: I reckon you can be nicer

Rio: Fine

Rio: I'll tell you all about the hot girls

Buster: Yeah?

Rio: but first 💳 me

Buster: Fine

Buster: I was being purely selfish anyway, there's so much shit I need before we can go

Rio: Jokes, babe

Rio: Same though

Rio: Last year's bikini ain't gonna cut it

Buster: Honestly, you can't be showing me up even if you are safe from the socials

Buster: So tell me what you need

Rio: I ain't walking 50 paces behind you

Rio: even if you've got lanky ass legs

Buster: Please, I could get you to do anything

Buster: But there's no fun in that, you gotta walk in front if anything

Rio: Keep it up and I'm walking away fr

Rio: Birthday boy or nah

Buster: 😂

Buster: Try it, I'm faster than you, and I'll easily just pick you up and carry you away, babe

Rio: 😠 Try it

Rio: 👊

Buster: I will if I have to

Rio: I wouldn't if I were you, I couldn't find you anything special so I'm like half your present still

Rio: Keep me on side, trust

Buster: You're protesting too much. You know you'd love it

Rio: Shh

Rio: You're being very unhelpful when I'm sat here tryna swear blind I ain't going away with a lad

Buster: You should just admit you are

Buster: That way we don't have to keep the bruising to a discrete minimum

Rio: Effort though

Rio: creating a fake mans, easiest way to get caught out

Buster: I'm real

Buster: Just don't use my name or family tree, obviously

Rio: Work on my mates

Rio: Not sure if the fam is that dim

Rio: hmm, sounds vaguely familiar 😂

Buster: How many details do they need?

Buster: Fucking hell

Buster: None of your business fam 😂

Rio: You have no idea 🙄

Rio: Perks of avoiding 'em truly

Buster: All your exes drop in with a CV and blood sample or what, like?

Rio: Don't

Rio: You know my 'rents out here making 'em part of the fam when we're like 2 weeks in

Rio: irony not escaping me 😬

Buster: We're literally never telling 'em

Buster: I'd have to dump you

Buster: Christ

Rio: What have I been saying?

Buster: How the fuck have our parents got such different vibes?

Rio: I know, how did my Ma happen tbh? 😂

Buster: She fits in to this fam's whole touchy feeling mood

Buster: It's my 'rents who are keeping that professional distance

Rio: You reckon?

Rio: It's a pretty even split tbh

Rio: how often are we seeing Joe, like

Buster: True

Buster: But like, I told my dad the birthday plan, cool place, hot girl, and he hit with an eyebrow and moved on

Buster: Nan and Granddad spinning in the graves they ain't yet in

Rio: Don't jinx 'em like

Rio: but nah

Rio: I reckon they just reckon that's how you prefer it

Rio: Little enthusiasm wouldn't hurt, though

Buster: Maybe they used it all on Nance's ideas

Buster: Gotta make sure she doesn't dramatically throw herself into the sea or some shit

Rio: I'm telling ya

Rio: Gon' be sipping cocktails with a babe in some naff resort

Rio: Got you all so fooled with this artsy shit

Buster: 😂

Buster: Benidorm with a butch

Rio: I'm glad you went for that joke 'cos it's too soon for Costa Del Sol with a cougar, like

Buster: Don't start me on the whole MILF thing

Buster: 🙄

Rio: Poor Nance

Buster: You've gotta draw the line when she's got actual existing kids

Buster: I'm not trying to be that kind of daddy

Rio: Don't think she planned on bringing the kids along, like

Rio: So not part of the fantasy

Buster: Don't

Buster: Never say fantasy in relation to Nance again, yeah?

Rio: Got it

Rio: That's a line I'm fine not crossing, don't worry

Buster: Better be

Buster: If you tell me she's one of the hot girls you've kissed we're over

Rio: Don't be twisted

Buster: I'm just saying

Buster: No need to take the sibling rivalry there

Rio: Gross

Rio: safe to assume I ain't her type either, like

Buster: Unlucky babe

Rio: 💔

Rio: Guess you'll do

Buster: Fuck off

Buster: You love me

Rio: Yeah

Rio: you know

Buster: Say it though

Rio: I love you

Rio: Idiot

Buster: You better

Buster: I'm sharing my birthday with you

Buster: Haven't done that since I was a kid, cheers

Rio: Hey, I'm fine with a party bag, babe

Rio: All about you

Buster: I'm not gonna hit you with a slice of cake and send you on your way

Buster: Don't worry

Rio: Good to know

Rio: Bit of a trek for some Colin the catterpillar tbh

Rio: love you and everything but

Buster: 😂

Buster: You think my mum ever gave us that? Come on

Rio: And you tryna say they're so zoned out

Buster: Always ready to brag, every single one of us

Rio: You know I had the best though

Rio: 👸

Buster: 'Course

Rio: When ur first daddy just spoils you too hard, like

Rio: 💁

Buster: Explains a lot

Rio: wys boy

Buster: 😏

Rio: Rude

Rio: 😣 Imma stay here if you're not being nice

Buster: It ain't. You know I like it

Buster: Start shopping, babe, you'll see how nice I'm ready to be

Rio: Ain't even got your bday money yet baby

Buster: We're spending that when we're there

Rio: Exactly, so I got me

Buster: It's my birthday you have to do what I want

Rio: But

Buster: But nothing

Buster: I've got you

Rio: Okay

Rio: I won't argue

Rio: bday rules and all

Buster: Good

Rio: How many out out outfits do I need?

Buster: like 4

Rio: Right

Rio: I can make this work

Buster: No doubt

Buster: Not to sound like my sister but I swear I'm over my entire wardrobe right now

Rio: 😂

Rio: Any excuse

Buster: Babe you can laugh but what the fuck is some of this? Like seriously

Rio: 😏 I mean

Rio: sure I tried to tell you at the time

Buster: I find that hard to believe

Buster: You always manage to make yourself heard somehow

Rio: I know

Rio: Impressive, isn't it?

Buster: One word for it

Rio: Come on, ain't trying keep you quiet

Rio: say what you mean, babe

Buster: Don't distract me, I'm very busy 😏

Rio: Having a wardrobe crisis, sure

Rio: Promise, don't care what you're wearing

Buster: Alright, catch me in the finest the 24 has to offer

Rio: Hoping to catch you out of 'em like but alright

Buster: You don't need hope

Buster: Just determination

Buster: Have you thought of your lie yet?

Rio: Planning to be hard to get all of a sudden?

Rio: I'm just gonna not lie

Rio: but be vague, obviously

Rio: social media ban should keep from suspicion, been to enough places I can describe a generic hol, like

Buster: Well, you're always saying I'm vague and you'll know where I am if you need a hand

Buster: Have you been too enough places with shit WIFI to make that believable though?

Rio: 😩 idk

Rio: its stressing me

Rio: maybe you're camera shy

Rio: or ugly as hell

Buster: Baby calm down it's alright

Buster: This is meant to be a good thing, yeah?

Buster: Me and you together celebrating

Rio: I know

Rio: I'm sorry

Rio: Everyone can just respectfully fuck off for a bit

Rio: It'll be good, I will, promise

Buster: I love you

Buster: And we're gonna figure this out

Rio: I love you too

Rio: pisses me off 'cos it feels needless

Rio: I know we have to and it ain't but, shouldn't have to be this much of a drama

Buster: Yeah, I know

Buster: I know what I said about keeping your fam in the dark forever and tempting as it is, I swear it won't always be like this

Rio: Don't chuck me

Buster: Don't be an idiot

Rio: It's what you said

Buster: Come on

Rio: I know

Rio: this is why we ain't telling

Rio: talk about an awkward breakup

Rio: imagine if your 'rents had

Rio: did they ever think of that like, could hardly avoid each other

Buster: Maybe they did but they couldn't handle the awkwardness

Buster: Fuck staying together for the kids, they had to do it for the whole fam's sake, like

Rio: Oh my God

Rio: what I'm saying, really trapped themselves

Rio: 😬

Buster: If you get sick of me give me warning so I can move to another country, yeah?

Rio: 'Course

Rio: least I could do

Buster: Cheers

Rio: Promise I won't get all psycho Chlo about it either

Buster: Don't

Buster: I see her at school so often it's got me so jumpy every time I walk past a mirror I cross myself in case she appears

Rio: Yeah, that is shit

Rio: at least I don't HAVE to be anywhere Ryan is

Rio: can hardly walk out or tell her to leave

Buster: Yeah

Buster: Speaking of that cunt though, how's he been behaving?

Rio: Been pretty quiet

Rio: knock on wood, like

Rio: saw him in town once and he was his usual charming self but that was just chance so

Buster: Glad I don't have to waste a wish on that then

Rio: Definitely not

Rio: Lucky that, really don't fancy adding him to the list of people I gotta give the dl on where I'm going 😂

Buster: Lucky 'cause I don't fancy you getting mad at me when I knock him out, more like

Rio: Oh, babe

Rio: forget about him, I am

Buster: Sorry

Rio: Don't be

Rio: You're cute, and I wouldn't be mad on principle

Buster: I hate that I can't protect you from all his shit, that's all

Rio: I know

Rio: but it ain't that bad

Buster: I get that you can handle it, I'm not saying that, I just don't want you to have to

Buster: If I could be the protective boyfriend and warn him off everything would be fine but

Rio: Maybe but

Rio: maybe not

Rio: he's just a prick

Buster: Yeah

Buster: Fuck him, we don't need to talk about him anymore

Rio: Agreed

Rio: Maybe I can get a job out there

Rio: in the casinos, hmm

Buster: We're meant to be playing hard not working hard, babe

Rio: You know I gotta hustle

Rio: I'm over the angel fr

Buster: Get a London job when we get back, then I'll never have to miss you

Rio: That'd be nice

Rio: But we both know I can't

Buster: Lie to me

Buster: I want you here all the time

Rio: I wanna be with you all the time too

Rio: Again, one day

Rio: I think Drew would at least cover Indie's rent but she shouldn't be alone, she's still a kid

Buster: Yeah, I know

Buster: You wouldn't be you if you didn't look out for her

Buster: And I quite like you so

Rio: 😏 Steady

Rio: Don't get all mushy

Buster: 'Course not

Buster: Who do you think I am?

Rio: Was gonna say

Rio: slow down and wait for me if you've already started your celebrations, like

Buster: I wish

Rio: We'll be making up for lost time so soon baby

Buster: You gonna jump out of a cake for me?

Rio: Couldn't get Dad to bake me in

Rio: Spoilsport much

Buster: 😂

Buster: To be a fly on the wall for that convo, though

Rio: He knows I'm extra but

Buster: Unfair 'cause I'm always insisting you keep my secrets but you're such an open book, babe

Rio: I dunno

Rio: I kinda like it just being me who knows

Rio: How selfish

Buster: I'm well proud

Buster: You really are learning

Rio: Bound to happen eventually

Rio: So persistent, babe 😉

Buster: What can I say? You're worth putting the work in

Rio: 😚

Rio: Baby

Buster: I'm not going soft, don't worry

Buster: I'll be rude to you later, I'm sure

Rio: Be the rudest if you did go soft on me

Rio: Ultimate insult

Buster: Fuck that

Buster: I could never

Rio: Happens to the best of us, don't worry 😂

Buster: Shut up

Rio: Really, nothing to be embarrassed about babe

Buster: Are you trying to jinx me or what?

Buster: Good luck

Rio: Just giving you something to prove

Rio: you're so adorable when you're mad

Buster: You trying to say I've still gotta prove myself to you?

Rio: No

Rio: I'm saying I like it when you do

Buster: Yeah?

Rio: Yeah

Rio: been too long

Buster: I miss you too, babe

Rio: It's so stupid

Rio: not even gone yet and already thinking about how much I'll miss you when we're back

Buster: It's shit

Buster: But it'll be Christmas hols before we know it and nobody can bat an eyelid about us being together then

Rio: Hooray for forced family time, yeah?

Rio: Don't let anyone hear YOU saying that though, so suspect

Buster: You know I don't waste my time talking to any of that lot

Rio: Hmm

Rio: So bad 😏

Buster: I wonder if Nance will be in a better mood with me by then

Buster: Don't really wanna have to do a whole secret santa vibe

Rio: Season of goodwill

Rio: Can put hope

Rio: add it to your wishlist now, like

Buster: I'll start thinking about her gift soon

Buster: Go big or go home, literally maybe

Rio: Work on that Winter wardrobe

Buster: Maybe I can send her on another trip, get her out of my way and do a nice thing all at once

Rio: Maybe

Rio: Sure you don't wanna spend time with her though?

Buster: You're funny

Rio: I'm not joking, like

Buster: Well, it's still hilarious

Buster: I'm trying to get her on side not further off

Rio: Maybe it is running before you can walk

Rio: still, gotta start somewhere, babe

Buster: You do, you mean

Buster: You're well determined to sort this, aren't you?

Rio: Your relationship with your family?

Rio: Duh

Buster: You're cute

Buster: Annoying but cute

Rio: What, like you want it like this

Rio: Come on now

Buster: Like it matters how I want it

Buster: I don't get to fuck up and still call the shots

Rio: It does matter

Rio: and she's not renounced you

Rio: it ain't that deep

Rio: not quite

Buster: Whatever

Buster: I can't make her talk to me

Buster: She's not you

Rio: I'll lock you in a room like

Rio: she can be mad at me then instead

Buster: Don't you dare

Rio: 😂

Rio: Don't be a baby

Buster: Don't start

Buster: You were behaving

Rio: Only lasts for so long

Rio: Do something about it if you're mad

Buster: Nice try

Buster: I'm not gonna make it that easy for you to get what you want

Rio: 😒

Rio: I'm so offended

Buster: Don't be a baby

Rio: 😲

Rio: Touche

Buster: 😏

Rio: 😣

Buster: Are you giving up just like that, babe?

Rio: I'm very busy don't distract me

Buster: Touche

Buster: But you didn't listen when I said it, so don't expect me too

Rio: I'll leave you to it then

Rio: So sorry

Buster: Don't

Rio: Sure?

Buster: Stay

Rio: 'Course

Rio: You don't want a kitten, do you?

Buster: You've got so many jokes today

Rio: We're giving Nancy one

Rio: Ma found a pregnant cat

Rio: they're so cute

Buster: 'Course she did

Buster: Sounds like you want me to have one so you can, babe

Rio: Shh

Rio: stop foiling my plans

Rio: [pics]

Buster: I'm not raising a baby with you

Rio: Cats are so low maintenance

Rio: it will keep you company

Buster: Good for them 'cause I ain't

Buster: Also not lonely, like

Rio: Boo

Buster: Take one for Indie, I'm sure she'd be buzzing

Buster: So would the cat if they can get high, like, but

Rio: I'm definitely not giving you one now

Rio: don't get a cat stoned, you monster 😂

Rio: and Indie wants a dog

Buster: Dogs can definitely get high, right?

Buster: Sure I've seen that online before

Buster: Indie'll have to clean up her act

Rio: We'll see if that's strong enough incentive

Rio: I doubt it but

Buster: Yeah

Buster: She'd have to get pregnant to make that stick I reckon and nobody's ready for that

Rio: Don't even play

Rio: Jesus

Buster: Just saying

Buster: Unlikely you'll be taking care of a puppy or kitten any time soon

Rio: We can have a dog

Rio: not like she's gonna be blowing smoke in the poor things face

Rio: so dramatic

Buster: You don't reckon you've got enough responsibility with her and the flat?

Buster: More fool you

Rio: Only got to walk and feed it

Rio: waaayyy easier than Indie

Buster: True

Buster: What isn't though?

Rio: Bless her

Buster: Maybe I can throw a kitten Chlo's way

Buster: Properly distract her

Buster: She'd probably call it a love token though, yeah?

Rio: Um yeah

Rio: may as well wife her now, like

Rio: no no

Rio: and she ain't having one of mine 😒

Buster: What so you're gonna keep them all?

Rio: Have you been to my gaff?

Rio: Probably 😂

Rio: if Ma knows people who might want 'em then they'll go

Buster: I can't believe you're giving my sister one

Rio: She's so buzzing

Rio: Easy bday present forreal, unlike some

Buster: I thought you were my present

Buster: So unless you're gonna be difficult

Rio: I had to get you something

Rio: Don't get too excited though

Rio: well, can about me

Rio: standard 😉

Buster: I was gonna say

Buster: Don't do yourself down, babe

Rio: Please

Buster: I mean, do put the work in still

Buster: As much as I miss you, you've still gotta bring it

Rio: When have I ever done anything less?

Buster: I can't lie, you ain't yet but you know

Buster: You might get bored of all this

Rio: You gonna stop bringing it too?

Rio: 'Cos that's the only way that's happening

Buster: Please

Buster: That shit's impossible

Rio: Glad to hear it, babe

Buster: I love you

Rio: Love you

Buster: I wish we could go now

Buster: With or without your fam's need for details being satisfied

Rio: Me too

Rio: I don't care no more

Rio: think I'm drug trafficking if you like

Rio: save the intervention 'til I'm back, though

Buster: 😂

Buster: Seriously, it's bad enough that I can't brag that I'm with you day to day, on my birthday when you're the gift that keeps giving, I should be able to

Rio: Babe

Rio: You're so cute

Buster: Shhh

Buster: You know I'm speaking the truth

Buster: So over not being able to pose with you ever

Rio: I know

Rio: Me too

Rio: but it's still worth it

Buster: 'Course

Buster: Don't ever think I'm saying it ain't, yeah?

Buster: Unless I actually do, but that's not happening

Rio: Got it

Rio: When do you reckon we can tell people

Rio: or if we should

Buster: I'll tell them now if you want

Buster: Just say the word

Rio: You don't wanna do that

Rio: time for celebration yeah

Buster: I want you

Buster: It's too late for them to take their gifts back if they ain't still in the mood to celebrate

Rio: Priorities

Buster: When do you wanna do it? Sat around the Christmas tree, like?

Buster: There's never gonna be a good time

Rio: Exactly

Rio: I'm scared

Buster: I know

Buster: But whatever happens, you're safe with me

Buster: I'm not going anywhere, not without you

Rio: Yeah

Rio: I feel it, I really do

Rio: We'll think about it, but we've got fun to have first, like

Buster: Just think, they can't all hate us, there's so many of them, that's basic probability, yeah? Someone's gotta be alright with it

Buster: It's not like any of the fam actually have room to judge anyway

Rio: It's a number's game, yeah? 😂

Rio: Already thinking like you in that casino

Rio: I don't want any of them to hate us, is the issue but you know

Rio: gotta be real

Rio: it's too hard to live like this and think it's forever, nah

Buster: You know it, babe 🎲 I'm so ready

Buster: Yeah, but I don't reckon anyone will

Buster: Not with all the shit this fam has been through already

Buster: And like you said, even if there's drama, it's gotta be done

Rio: Same 💃

Rio: I don't wanna think about it anymore, distract me

Buster: Okay baby

Buster: [Sends pics]

Buster: Think about me

Rio: How could I think about anything else now? 😻

Rio: Why you so good

Buster: Spending too much time with you, obviously

Rio: I mean #myinfluence

Rio: Your nude game has no doubt gone ⬆

Buster: Doing yourself a favor is the ultimate selfishness

Buster: Well done

Buster: So proud

Rio: See? I knew what I was doing all along 😚

Rio: Basic rules of karma, send good nudes and you shall receive

Buster: I'll ignore the implication that my angles were for shit before, yeah?

Buster: 'Cause when you asked for a distraction I don't reckon you wanted a fight

Rio: Come on 😏 Gimme that

Rio: you can say you've my fair lady'd me if you want

Buster: I'll let you have it 'cause I know I wasn't trying for the girls in this postcode

Buster: If you promise not to get too fancy on me

Rio: I'm not gonna be the one to call myself a bit of rough but we all thinking it

Buster: I was gonna say real

Buster: But alright

Rio: I prefer that

Buster: Whatever we're calling it, it's working for me

Buster: I like you

Rio: Works for me

Rio: You're not so bad yourself too so

Buster: Yeah, I know

Buster: 😏

Rio: Letting you have it

Buster: What else are you gonna let me have before it's officially my birthday?

Rio: Not your presents, if that's what you're thinking

Buster: Come on

Buster: I'll act proper surprised on the day

Rio: 😏

Rio: Was about to doubt your acting ability but we've pulled this off so far so maybe you can be trusted

Buster: No need to ever doubt me, babe

Buster: I'm that good

Rio: Okay, just one, like

Rio: Mum enough for you? 😂

Buster: 😂

Buster: OG MILF

Buster: Nance missed a trick there

Rio: It's frankly insulting

Rio: she's seen me in peak ma action and still not feeling it

Buster: Poor baby

Buster: I got all the good taste, that's all

Rio: 😻

Rio: Gonna let you have that too, not just to save my ego

Buster: You know it's true too

Buster: You've always been my type, babe

Rio: Yeah?

Buster: Yeah

Buster: Don't let the torture like kiss fool you

Buster: I reckoned it was gonna be my finest moment, at the time

Rio: It was perfect

Buster: Babe

Buster: Don't lie

Rio: I mean

Rio: obviously it wasn't the most technically perfect but

Rio: I'm glad it was you

Buster: Me too

Buster: My mum and dad talk a lot of shit but there's something to be said for having firsts with someone

Buster: Someone you actually want

Rio: Yeah

Rio: never good to look back on someone you've been with and really think, what the fuck

Buster: I've got enough of them without adding you to the list

Rio: Same frankly

Rio: Gotta try and keep the number down

Buster: Exactly

Buster: Why I don't do repeats

Rio: Well, the idea is repeat when you like 'em

Rio: not guaranteed you won't regret but you know, better odds in that category

Buster: 'Course

Rio: Have you ever slept with the same person more than once though?

Rio: Surely

Buster: Yeah. You

Buster: I mean, when I was a kid I did all my firsts with the same girl but once we fucked she chucked me so

Buster: Lesson learned

Rio: Awh

Rio: How mean

Buster: She regretted it

Buster: Not my bad, like I was obviously incredible but

Rio: Naturally

Rio: Nah, most people do

Rio: well, from what I can gather, the girls do and the boys were just scared then underwhelmed by it all

Rio: oh god, do not take me back, like

Buster: Same

Buster: Granted there's a lot of shit I could and would do better or not bother doing in the first place but like

Buster: Nah

Rio: Yeah, can't waste your time on that

Rio: who knows who or where you'd be now if you did it different, like

Buster: Cunt then, cunt now

Buster: It doesn't matter

Rio: Shut up

Rio: You are not

Rio: and you weren't that bad, anyway, we're all entitled to that phase

Buster: You're so biased

Buster: Just always loved me

Buster: Can't get enough of it

Rio: 😏

Rio: Why do you want me to think you're a cunt so bad, honestly

Buster: 'Cause I am

Buster: And you're too smart to buy into my bullshit, yeah?

Rio: I am

Rio: but you might not be if you're actually convinced you're a bad person, like

Buster: I'm not saying I'm 😈 just that I ain't a good person, let's be honest

Buster: Chlo reckons you can't buy class but what you can't buy is a decent set of morals

Rio: You are

Rio: You've just done some shit things and who hasn't

Buster: Like I said, you're shamelessly influenced by your 😍

Buster: I'm not mad about it though

Rio: 😑

Rio: No

Buster: Don't get mad about it yourself

Rio: I'm not mad just

Rio: You should know you aren't a bad person

Buster: Give me another year of being stuck here being a cunt first

Buster: 'Cause I know there ain't much I can do about that

Rio: That don't count, they don't deserve nice things or you

Buster: Stay with me though, yeah? Even though you do

Rio: I will because you are

Rio: You're good where it counts

Rio: and you're gonna make things up with Nancy you know

Buster: I'm gonna try

Buster: Patience is one thing I am good at, like

Buster: Get it done in the end

Rio: Exactly, you wouldn't give a shit if you were an actual cunt

Buster: I'm sure not every cunt is an only child, babe

Buster: She's still my sister

Rio: Stop fighting it

Rio: Accept your 😇

Buster: Alright

Buster: But only 'cause I'm hoping it means you get to be 😈

Rio: Might make an exception for you, babe

Rio: 'cos you know, I'm practically perfect in every way, like

Buster: Yeah

Buster: Perfect for me, which means you know when to be good and when not to

Buster: So please

Rio: Okay

Rio: I'm convinced 😈

Buster: Glad to hear it

Buster: Call me until I'm convinced too

Rio: 🤤 Sir yes sir

[tragicbooks]

A former 'MythBusters' extra thanks Adam Savage for crushing a harmful myth about gender.

'MythBusters' may be over, but Savage is just getting started.

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For more than 13 years, Adam Savage co-hosted a little show you might have heard of called "MythBusters."

And as its title suggests, the show's premise was that Savage, a special effects guru, and fellow science enthusiast Jamie Hyneman would tackle various myths, urban legends, and stuff you'd usually only see in movies. (There were a lot of explosions, and it was wonderful.)

The show may be over, but a recent string of tweets shows that Savage isn't done busting myths.

Savage, flanked by his "MythBusters" co-star Jamie Hyneman and "science guy" Bill Nye at the 2010 White House Science Fair. Photo by Jim Watson/AFP/Getty Images.

On April 26, Savage waded into discussion about sex, gender, and the science behind it all.

It began when Savage got some rude responses to his tweet about author Kelly Oxford's new book, leading him to push back on the idea that gender is something that can be neatly divided into two separate teams.

From there, he dished out some real-talk about the gender binary:

Also, listen up: gender is a spectrum. The closer you look at ANYTHING the blurrier the lines get. INCLUDING GENDER. LIFE is complicated.

— Adam Savage (@donttrythis) April 26, 2017

And while it was cool to see Savage taking a stand, the best thing to come out of his tweets were the replies from people thankful for validation from someone they admire.

Responses from people outside the gender binary began flowing in, thanking Savage for seeing them for who they are.

There's a sweetness in the replies — but also a frustrating sadness — as many of the people replying are so frequently denied the basic recognition and validation that most of us take for granted.

@donttrythis Some days being nonbinary is tough and some days I can feel really proud of who I am. Thanks for helping today be one of the proud days — Jamey@railsconf 🌱🌿 (@jameybash) April 26, 2017

@donttrythis i've looked up to you for a long time and i just wanna say thanks. as a nonbinary person it's not often i get validation from my heroes.

— aj ➡️ LA 🌹🦇 (@trixxya) April 26, 2017

Gwendolyn Ann Smith, a transgender woman living in the Bay Area and one-time "MythBusters" extra, also chimed in with a thoroughly appreciative response.

@donttrythis As a trans woman who was once a Mythbusters extra (tho with the other team), it warms my heart to read this from you. Thank you.

— Gwendolyn Ann Smith (@gwenners) April 26, 2017

"Being trans means often having to navigate 'myths' about gender, and it is usually a burden that trans people alone are tasked with explaining," Smith explains over email. "So it meant a lot to me to see Savage use his privilege and position to speak out on behalf of folks like me, and for scientific reality."

And that's just it: Acknowledging the existence of trans people (inside and outside the gender binary) is a statement backed by scientific reality.

Many of Savage's critics — and people who oppose the fight for transgender equality generally — accused him of pushing "pseudoscience." He was having none of it.

"It's biology not bigotry" is the tagline for the National Organization for Marriage's latest push against recognizing trans people for who they are. And it sounds simple, right? XX chromosomes equal female, XY chromosomes equal male. Easy-peasy.

Except it's not, and that's what Savage dove into with a lengthier explanation.

Hey!! I love all of you and here's a note that elucidates my thoughts on some of the complex debates happening on my twitter feed. http://pic.twitter.com/aeI28pqPJ6

— Adam Savage (@donttrythis) April 27, 2017

"Humility is one of the loveliest of human traits. It's often hard-won, and in every case it exists, it foments acceptance, kindness, and open-mindedness. These are qualities that improve the lives of all who experience them. I have a wide circle of awesome and amazing friends. I get so much from them. Among my precious loved ones, I count many who fall outside the binary sex/gender identification being asserted. I can't conceive rejecting their experience as anything but cruel and inhumane and I don't care what they have in their pants or what they do with them. I have a hard time imagining why anyone would."

(A 2015 article in Nature supports much of what he's saying, by the way.)

Savage speaks during a 2015 "MythBusters" panel. Photo by Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images for Discovery Communications.

There's a lesson we can all learn from Savage here, and it's this: When given a choice, always stand on the side of love, empathy, and understanding.

The most important message of Savage's tweets has nothing to do with chromosomes.

Ok, I have to stop engaging, but its so much fun to fight on the side of love and acceptance. One more thing though:

— Adam Savage (@donttrythis) April 26, 2017

U might not have a racist/sexist/classist/bigoted thought in ur head. But INSTITUTIONS built by racists, classists, & bigots still exist.

— Adam Savage (@donttrythis) April 26, 2017

Look around and realize that people still SUFFER GREATLY because of this, despite what YOU think about YOUR attitude.

— Adam Savage (@donttrythis) April 26, 2017

You don't need to be a professional "MythBuster" to know that the first step to bridging gaps begins with empathy and not discounting the existence of an entire group of people. In the fights to decide who is "right" and who is "wrong," we too often forget that there are other people with unique perspectives involved.

Let's hear them and, when in doubt, choose acceptance.

Thank you, Adam Savage. May you keep busting myths and inspiring others to be better people for a very long time to come.

To those thinking me an sjw & discounting me: I'll be over here loving humans right and left. You can keep counting up how many you hate...

— Adam Savage (@donttrythis) April 26, 2017

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