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shra-vasti · 1 month ago

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BE THERE FOR YOU, PSH

SYNOPSIS : You love your two best friends with your whole heart. The three of you have been inseparable since middle school, bound by laughter, secrets, and a promise to always stand by each other through thick and thin. So why does a strange, bitter feeling rises in your stomach every time they laugh a little too loudly together, their eyes meeting in ways that make you feel like the outsider? You try to shake it off. It's nothing. Right?

Or in which you're stuck in a love triangle with your two best friends.

• PAIRING: Park Sunghoon x afab!reader

• WORD COUNT: 18.4k

• CONTENT TAGS: Non idol au, university setting, angst, hurt/comfort, friends to ?, love triangle, slow burn (kdrama level slow, sorry I got carried away), slice of life, feeling isolated, mental illness (refer warnings section), emotional baggage, unrequited love, found family, miscommunication, alcohol, mentions of thunderstorms, Original character named Soojin, reader-insert, reader's hair are long enough to be tucked behind ears, Sunghoon is taller comparatively.

• WARNINGS: HEAVY angst, feeling isolated and ignored, imposter syndrome, depression, anxiety, self doubt, fear of failure, unhealthy habits, ED, emotional drainage, existential crisis, hospitalization (not reader), IV drops, depiction of blood on reader and Sunghoon, reader gets injured, attempted suicide x 2, depiction of character's death and funeral, unrequited love, hurt more than comfort, spiraling, Sunghoon gets wasted, no smut, slightly suggestive, let me know if I missed any.

• AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is my first full length fic, please leave feedback. I'm trying to get out of my years long writer's block. Like, reblog and comment would be appreciated. It feels nice to get back to writing. I hope you'll enjoy reading it♡ Happy reading♡

The cold winter wind nipped at your skin, you clutch your hands together. Your eyes drifted across the campus, a scowl surfacing on your face. You were waiting for Sunghoon and Soojin to meet at your usual hangout place in the campus, the common sitting area outside of the university's far right building. Few of the students occupied the area, some completing their works, others hanging around with their friend group.

Jake snickered from where he was sitting in front of you, pushing up his god-awful glasses with his one hand while he sipped his "deathpresso"- the infamous 7-shot espresso, as you liked to call it. You shot him a glare, leaning your back on the bench as Jay wrapped his hand around your shoulder, bringing your body closer to his, you obliged ofcourse, seeking solace in the warmth his body provided. Heeseung was sitting on your other side, giving absolutely zero fucks about his surrounding as he typed away his essay like his life depended on it (it was due tomorrow and he just started).

"These classes are draining the life out of me," Soojin sighed dramatically as if she wasn't one of the top students at her program, she removed the scarf wrapped around her neck and placed it neatly around yours and gave it a gentle tug. "I always need to look after you, why did you forget your scarf again?" She made herself comfortable beside Jake, your eyes lingered on Sunghoon who steadily walked towards your friend circle and sat on the unoccupied place beside Soojin. You smiled sheepishly at her as you watched Sunghoon button up her coat all the way up to safeguard her from the harsh winter breeze.

"I'm sorry, I forgot," You started but Sunghoon gave you a tight look which screamed disappointment rather than anger. "Yet again?" He raised an eyebrow, shutting you up completely. You look down pouting, the air around felt heavier as his eyes weighed you down. "I was thinking of throwing a party this year for my birthday," Jay expectantly looked at everyone, successfully diverting the topic, as he slipped his hand off your shoulder.

"You? Party? I think I've seen everything in my life now," Jay threw a crumpled piece of paper in Jake's direction as soon as those words slipped past his mouth.

This has been your life from the past three semesters, Jake and Jay's constant bickering coupled with Heeseung's struggle of keeping up with his 'academically challenging' classes. When you, Sunghoon and Soojin first decided to take admission in Decelis, you thought it would be just you three against the world like it has always been but now as you sit here surrounded by three more people who decided to take comfort in your little trio you wouldn't trade it for anything.

"Yeah that sounds like a well needed break before the summer exams kick our ass," Sunghoon laughed, "right?" He glanced towards Soojin expecting her to answer back but her silence made everyone's focus shift towards her. Your eyebrows pulled together as you noticed her drifting off from reality again, "Soojin," You called out making her flinch, she met your eyes before she looked towards Sunghoon who was now facing towards her with raised eyebrows. She laughed awkwardly as she half heartedly agreed to whatever question Sunghoon asked which she did not even listen to.

"Are you okay? If you're not feeling well we can leave," Soojin looked around at others before declining Sunghoon's words. Sunghoon sighed deeply as he tucked her hair behind her ear, looking into her eyes as if to reconfirm and she nodded her head, taking his hand in her hand and holding it tightly. There it was, the sickening feeling inside your stomach, back again as you looked at their intertwined hands. You swallowed the lump which began to form in your throat, inhaling deeply as you tore your eyes away from them.

Which proved to be a wrong move because your eyes landed on a certain boy with his god-awful glasses, who somehow was already looking at you as if he could see right through you. He sipped his espresso while throwing you a look of 'this-is-the-nth-time-I've-caught-you-giving-that-downbad-look-towards-your-long-time-bestfriend.' Your shoulders slumped, he scoffed, breaking eye contact and made a dramatic show of standing, gaining everyone's attention, even Heeseung's.

"I think I'm done for today guys," He smiled, narrowing his eyes at his three roommates. Jake, Jay, Sunghoon and Heeseung decided it would be better to live together after constantly struggling to find better housing separately outside of the campus as they refused to stay inside the campus dorms and Jay was more than happy to welcome the "Roofless Rizzlers" in his apartment. Jay stood up joining Jake while Heeseung started packing his belongings. He gave you a quick side hug before walking towards Soojin, ruffling her hair as he asked Sunghoon, "You coming?"

"You guys go ahead, I'll walk Soojin towards her dorm building first," Heeseung nodded, already expecting Sunghoon's answer before the words left his mouth and made his way towards the other boys patiently waiting for him. Your eyes followed them till they disappeared completely out of your sight. You stood up, adjusting the scarf Soojin placed around your neck, taking a few steps ahead and kneeling in front of where she was sitting. "Do you need me to stay with you today?" You softly caressed her hand as concern clouded your eyes, mimicking Sunghoon's.

She sighed like she carried the weight of the world around her shoulders, and maybe she really did. Every heavy breath, every soft sigh that escaped her cherry lips indicated the turmoil she carried deep within her very being. You guessed that's the price you need to pay when you're too good at what you do. As far as you remember Soojin has been an ideal daughter, teacher's favorite, a helping hand for fellow students, and a shoulder you and Sunghoon have constantly cried on. She's perfect, much like her long hair which sways with wind as if it flows just to touch her.

At one point of your life you thought nothing could get better than it already was for her, she was always at the center of the little bubble she had created, till that bubble shattered. The pieces stung your heart equally as it did to your hand when you plucked large fragments of glass from her wrist. Sunghoon frantically called the ambulance. Soojin had tried taking her own life in her room when her parents were away from the town.

Maybe it was a mother's instinct, maybe it was God's will as her grandmother said, when Soojin's mother called you, worried as she asked you to stay with Soojin that unfortunate night. You agreed, already texting Sunghoon to come join at the impromptu sleepover, you both wanted to surprise her but it was you who got surprised instead when you found her unconscious but still breathing in her room.

That night the ride towards the hospital was as chilling as the weather today, that night as Sunghoon and you sat beside each other covered in blood outside of the operation room, you made a promise to be there for Soojin, to take care of her, to prioritize her well being over your own needs and wants. You cried as the nurse tended your wounded hand, Sunghoon just sat beside you holding you close wondering if you were crying because of the injury or the sheer shock of it all.

You were teenagers then, you're adults now. But the feelings you felt that day were as clear as the morning sky mid-summer. And that feeling was creeping back upon you once again as you paid more attention towards Soojin. Her parents, grandparents, you and Sunghoon did everything you could do to help Soojin cope. Therapy, family trips, friends outing, you name it. Everyone was desperate to help her find her light again. You never talked about the suicide note you found in her room to anyone, not even Sunghoon, at her own request. It's still neatly folded and well kept at the far corner of your closest. You never read it but daily prayed to the universe that it will disappear in thin air somehow.

"I'll meet you guys tomorrow," You three were standing in front of her dorm building now. You bid her goodbye and watched as she made her way towards her designated floor. From the corner of the building Lia, Soojin's roommate, made her way towards you, a flicker of recognition and a smile of acknowledgement graced her lips as she patted your shoulder, "Don't worry, I got you guys, I'll call if she'll need you." The dorm selection happened on merit basis and you were second on the waiting list. You had to stay outside of the campus, life would've been easier if you were living with Soojin.

Sunghoon is silent beside you as you make your way towards the apartment you stay in. The sidewalk is draped with snow, it gleams with a slippery sheen in the soft evening light. You take a cautious glance towards the man you've come to recognize as your childhood best friend as you continue walking. Although things have changed significantly from how they were before, you're glad that Sunghoon's habit of walking you home never did.

Ever since the incident with Soojin, he has taken it upon himself to always be available for her, or maybe he takes care of her so feverishly because feels he needs to. Doesn't matter if his classes end early or late, if he's free or busy, he's by Soojin's side way before anyone else. You think maybe that's the reason you, even though you still wake up in the middle of the night by the nightmares, still sleep a little bit more soundly than he ever could.

He catches your eyes before you could tear it off of him, "why are you so forgetful, you know I've to be more focused on Soojin," He's nagging again, it's like a clockwork at this point, most of his thoughts begins and ends with her, you aren't even sure where Sunghoon ends and where Soojin begins. Perhaps you forget things because you want to see if he would care just as much if it were you in her place, you think you got your answers now.

You just look at him, your mind drifting towards the promise you made with each other for Soojin's sake. It was you who suggested that promise so why did it sting this so bad now? The bitter taste lingering in your mouth, why won't it go away easily? Since when did taking care of your ill-friend turned into a silent competition for you to have Sunghoon's attention? You're ruining everything you've worked hard to build, Soojin needs you both more than anything. You're pulled back to reality by Sunghoon as he tugs at your scarf, you silently glare at him as he begins taking off his gloves and putting it inside his coat's pocket.

A soft gasp leaves your lips before you could stop, his hands warm in comparison to your stiff and numb ones. He held your hands with such tenderness as if they would break if he didn't handle them carefully. He cradled your small hands in with his larger one, softly blowing warm air into them. His eyes were closed, eyebrows furrowed, completely immersed into the small act like there was nothing more significant than this moment. He pulled back, not before placing a gentle kiss on your connected hands, he exhaled, you shuddered.

"Try to look after yourself more," His voice was barely audible, like he was talking to himself more than you, "please? For me?" And who are you to deny when he looked at you as if it physically pained him to even think about you being in pain. He reached for his pocket again, slipping his gloves onto your bare hands. His eyes traced the path from your glove-covered hands to your eyes, "you'll do that for me yeah?" He waited till you nodded your head, a soft sigh escaping his lips.

He moved closer, tucking your hair behind the ear before placing a gentle kiss on your forehead. You inhaled a sharp breath, the sky exhaled out the snowflakes.

Jay called you early in the morning in order to prepare for his birthday celebration, you had a clear schedule which Jay wanted to take advantage of. Jake, Heeseung and Sunghoon weren't present in their apartment as they have classes, Soojin would tag along with them after her class ends. You're helping Jay with the decorations, a displeased look painted on your face, "what are we? 10?" You skeptically side-eye your dear friend who was happily helping you stick a giant banner of 'Happy Birthday to me: the man, the myth, the majesty,' written in bold.

His signature cheeky, roblox-styled grin graced his face, he blew you a kiss before hugging your waist. "You love me anyway," You did your best to fight the urge to roll your eyes at him today, ruffling his hair lightly as you finished sticking the banner. Both of you look around the decorations you did. It was funny how Jay was helping you with his own birthday party. "Is the cake ready? Did you call the bakery? Let's buy drinks on the way back." Jay nodded at your words, already searching for his car keys as you grabbed your phone for a long day ahead of you.

"I'll get ready in Sunghoon's room," you informed as you made your way towards the stairs, Jay walking in front of you. Exhaustion creeped upon you due to all the preparations, you wonder how Jay managed to not even break a sweat the whole day, probably too excited since it was his day today. You entered Sunghoon's room which he shared with Jake, all of your belongings neatly placed beside his desk. You took a few essentials and made your way towards the attached bathroom deciding that a quick shower won't hurt you as they still had an hour at least to return from their classes.

You smiled to yourself, feeling a bit cheerful after taking a shower, getting dressed quickly and deciding to do your hair and makeup after they arrive. You sat on his desk chair, eyes mindlessly roaming around the room. You've been here countless times, still you feel a bit flustered being here alone with your thoughts. You decided irritating Jay would be a better option until others arrive. "Are you done getting ready?" You called Jay out from outside his room, a muffled 'leave me alone, I need to prepare to look my best' was all you heard in return.

Pouting, you made your way back towards Sunghoon's room, leaning against the doorframe in boredom, thinking of ways to entertain yourself for time being when your eyes landed on a hoodie sprawled below Sunghoon's bed. "Seriously?" You shook your head as you grabbed it to put it in the laundry basket when your eyes landed on two boxes, a red one fully closed, another black one half opened lying beneath the bed. They say curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction entered the chat as you sat on the floor to see what was inside it.

And maybe your mother was right when she said curiosity will lead to your downfall one day, because as you open the black box you were surprised to see it was filled with polaroids of Sunghoon and Soojin, planned and candid ones, on different occasions dating back from middle school till university, some cute keychains, few charms, and a bracelet which you don't recognize from your memory.

Silence grew heavy on your shoulders as you looked throughout the pictures, almost all of them were clicked when all three of you hung out, hell, some of the pictures were captured by you but there was no sign of you in any of the polaroids, you exhaled a breath you didn't even realize you were holding before keeping the box where it was. You stood up, dragging your feet towards Jake's bed and sat down, mind going haywire with all the thoughts and feelings you were suddenly bombarded with.

You did it upon yourself truthfully, if only you knew how to not snoop your nose in every single matter. A voice at the back of your head nagged at you, calling you stupid, about how you were just third wheeling in their relationship, about how their life would've been better if you weren't a part of it. Another voice chimed in, this one a little bit softer as it reminded you that those two are your best friends, they love you, they aren't isolating you from their lives, that they deserve to share a special bond with each other as much as you do with each of them.

You reluctantly decided to do your hair and makeup in order to escape from your feelings. Others will be arriving soon and you didn't want your feelings to get the best of you and ruin your friend's birthday. And as you got ready for the party, eye glassy as you bite back your tears, you swore to not fall in love with Sunghoon and be an obstacle in his happiness. You refused to let your negativity win, Soojin deserves the happiness only Sunghoon could bring in her life.

The music was blaring through the speaker and the crowd was alive, every corner of the room echoed with life and laughter. The air was a bit suffocating but it vibrated with full joy. The cameras were flashing, the laughter of your friends drowned into the night's symphony. The celebration continued, each of your friends giving their 'unsolicited advice,' and words of encouragement to the birthday boy. You sat on the couch beside Jake, who was already half drunk, his head on your shoulder as he mumbled incoherent facts about fishes.

"Something is bothering you," Jake's voice was nothing more than a whisper as he looked up at you. "Nothing is bothering me," you reasoned with him. Jake has always been someone who was able to see right through your acts and while you were great at hiding things and pretending to be fine, Jake somehow always catches you right in the act.

"If that nothing goes by the name of Sunghoon then I'll agree," Your eyes widened at his remark and even though he was only whispering you wouldn't risk anyone hearing it. "Seriously Jake, it's not what you think," Jake shook his head dismissing your words completely. "He deserves to know how you feel, you know, something about all that friends don't keep secrets and shit."

"I don't think that's a good idea, plus Soojin and him seem to be more comfy with each other since past few years anyway," you smiled bitterly as those words left your mouth and thankfully Jake chose not to intervene further and you silently thanked him for that. Maybe the alcohol finally got him, you weren't ready to have this conversation today anyway. You weren't sure how long you'll be able to hold onto these feelings but you needed to get rid of them for Soojin and Sunghoon's sake.

You scanned the room, many people left, leaving only close friends behind. Jay greeted the last guest goodbye, barely able to stand as Sunghoon balanced his weight. Even when he was shit-faced drunk, the gentleman knew his etiquette well. Now only the boys, you and Soojin were left, Jake still by your side, and you still haven't decided if you want to crash out here or go home.

"Let's watch a movie," You don't really comprehend who said that but you sighed in relief when everyone else just groaned in return. Soojin sat beside you, her arms crossed trying her best to fight back sleep, you chuckled at her state before giving her temple a kiss which immediately brought a smile on her face, Sunghoon sat beside Soojin. Jay and Heeseung sat on each of the love-seat respectively.

"I'm so tired, I just want to sleep forever," You might have to agree with Jay on this one. Sunghoon put his hand at the back of the couch, his actions prompting Soojin to put her head on his shoulder with practiced ease, like the place was meant for her to rest, like she knew everytime Sunghoon opened his arms, it was for her to find home. Jake was almost half asleep on you, your head buzzing in the aftermath of all the noise and screams. You tilt your head to rest against the couch, very much aware of Soojin softly complaining to Sunghoon about feeling tired after all the classes, then party, and how she'll have to go back to the dorms.

Sunghoon listened to every word escaping from her lips, smiling softly at her state. Soojin always complained about things but would go to the moon and back if it meant she'll get a single smile from her friends. You sighed, maybe going back to your apartment was genuinely a better idea. The constant train of thoughts inside your head broke when a hand slid below your head from where it was resting against the couch.

You looked to the side to see Sunghoon still talking with Soojin and occasionally with Heeseung and Jay, but his hand cradled your head as he soothingly traced circles on your head, his fingers tangled in your hair. And your attention should be on Soojin truthfully, given how overstimulated she feels while being constantly surrounded by people but your mind was hyper-aware of the way Sunghoon gently massaged your head, how gentle his fingers were.

His hand moved towards your ear, gave it a gentle tug before mindlessly tracing patterns on it. He was still talking with Heeseung about some dumb movie they watched last week. His touch continued, alternating between your head, ear and then back of your neck and you couldn't help but lean more into his hand. Somewhere deep down in your gut you knew you were doomed but you were glad he didn't stop with his touch either.

You flickered the light switch of your apartment on, Soojin making her way towards your bathroom to get fresh. You offered Soojin to stay the night at your place since it was way too late for her to go back to the dorms. You texted Sunghoon that you reached your apartment, took an oversized shirt and sweatpants from the closet and put it on bed for Soojin to wear. After Soojin was done, you did your own nightly routine, changing into comfy clothes, ready to sleep.

"I'll bring water for you," You smiled at Soojin who was already halfway into the dreamland and made your way to the kitchen. You checked your phone to see Sunghoon's reply, a simple 'call me when you can' glaring back at you. You checked the time, 03:00 AM, shrugging you decided to call him anyway. He picked up after two rings.

"Is she asleep?" You rolled your eyes at his voice, "what happened to hello? How are you?" You could picture his exaggerating sigh just as you heard it, "hello beautiful, why aren't you sleeping yet? Is Soojin asleep?" You turned back to take a look inside your bedroom, "Yeah, she's asleep." You slowly shut the bedroom door close so as to not disturb her sleep.

"Why? What's up?" You bit your lips as you sat on your couch waiting for him to answer, "I noticed she's been out of it for sometime, I'm worried about her," You exhaled a deep breath, adjusting your position on the couch as you listened Sunghoon recalling about the instances where Soojin would randomly zone out, get easily irritated and overwhelmed, tale-tell sign of her having troubles with her thoughts again.

You hummed in agreement, heart racing, fist clenching as you told him about your observations during your usual hangouts. You prayed the phase she was in would go away quickly, the summer exams were fast approaching and you knew she would be too sensitive during those phases, pulling all-nighters, not eating properly, ignoring everyone. That's how she gets when stressful situations arrive in her life. You have been used to it by now and you both try your best to be there for her during such times to make things easier for her. Sometimes risking your own grades just for her sake.

"Well....staying by her side and keeping an eye on her is all we can do for now," That was a no-brainer and Sunghoon didn't need you to voice out your answer to know you agree with him. "You've been helping Jay since morning, why aren't you asleep yet? You need proper rest for your body to function the next day, trouble." "Yeah, yeah...I know, I'll go to sleep now," you softly yawned.

"Okay, good night, take care of her and of yourself so that I can sleep peacefully, okay?" You nodded before realizing he can't hear you, "I will hoon, try not to stay awake so late at night too, this isn't your first time, you're making me worried sick too, you know." Sunghoon sighed before reluctantly agreeing with you. He knows he gets lost inside his head one too many times, he's aware you and Soojin try your best to pull at the threads of the maze his head creates. And he is trying his best, he swears to it, to be strong for both of you, especially for Soojin since her attempt. You bid your goodbye and make your way towards your bedroom to finally let sleep consume you.

The crisp morning light falls directly on your face, you groan, not yet ready to face the next day. You toss and turn before draping your hand and leg over Soojin's body, your head nuzzling at the crook of her neck. The touch of her lips on your head is featherlight as she sleepily holds your body closer to hers. "Morning sleepyhead," you whine in protest, hugging her body more closely, "don't wanna," Soojin laughs as her fingers thread through your hair, massaging your head lightly as her soft humming fills your ears.

For a moment your thoughts drift back to last night when Sunghoon's fingers were tangled in your hair before you felt yourself drifting off again. You could get used to this mornings, waking beside Soojin, freshening up and then preparing and eating breakfast together, talking about everything and nothing at the same time. Maybe sometimes Sunghoon would join too, you and Sunghoon would bicker and Soojin would try her best to resolve the issue. Sleepovers with them were your favorite amongst everything.

"Move in with me," you didn't even move an inch, feeling utterly comfortable while cuddling with your best friend. "Why? Does my baby feel alone?" Even though there was a hint of teasing in Soojin's voice, she knew how lonely it gets to live alone. When you didn't answer back she just sighed, adjusting her position a little bit to get more comfortable, "how about next semester? Would you like that?"

"For real?" If the excitement wasn't detectable from your voice, the wide grin plastered on your face gave it away. Soojin just laughed, removing strands of hair sticking on your forehead as she nodded, "I've thought about it, you can't cook properly, I can't watch you eat unhealthy food on daily basis, I'll cook home-cooked meals for you, in return you wash the dishes, just like we always planned." You looked at her, still unsure but excited nonetheless, "we can watch as many movies as we want, I'll wash your hair when you don't feel like it, you'll help me do my homework when I get stuck on it. You won't have to worry about my health issues, I will always keep you entertained. Sounds like a plan."

Soojin sighed as she listened to you rambling about all the things you would do, how you'll throw a welcome party with the boys. You chatted and she paid attention to every word that left your mouth, throwing hums of appreciation and a few words to add to your neverending list of things you would do when she would move in. You both got fresh, made and ate breakfast together, cleaned the dishes and were now sprawled on your couch watching a newly released drama series.

"It has been a while since you and I spent time like this, right?" You tossed the popcorn in your mouth, nodding in agreement. Surprisingly Sunghoon has neither texted you or Soojin until now, maybe he's still asleep. "Sunghoon always cock-blocks us, who does he think he is?" Soojin just laughed, directing her attention towards the drama, "Don't be so harsh on him, you know how he is." You made a face, "whatever, I don't need him when I have you." You both know that's a white lie.

"You say you don't need him, but look at him like he hung up the stars in the sky," You choked on the popcorn you were eating at that, Soojin alarmed over your state as she patted your back to help. You looked at her wide-eyed, reaching for the glass of water kept on the coffee table with trembling hands. "What do you mean? I mean he indeed put the star stickers on the ceiling of my room in my parents house if that counts?" Soojin rolled her eyes so hard you thought they got stuck at the back of her head.

"You know what I'm talking about but if you aren't comfortable we won't discuss further," she picked up the empty bowl of popcorn, cleaning the mess you both made, "come to me when you're ready enough okay?" You couldn't help but let confusion overtake your features. And as Soojin hugged you goodbye and you stood in your hallway watching her go, you wondered why Soojin was suddenly talking about Sunghoon to you in this way? Does she not feel the same way about him? Were you perceiving everything wrong? Because as far as you knew, more than you, it was Soojin who looked at him like he hung stars in the sky.

The summer sun irritated your skin, your school's uniform blazer neatly placed on your lap, "ugh, I hate summer with burning passion," You tried putting your hair in a ponytail, muttering curses under your breath as summer heat consumed you whole. Soojin chuckled lightly before getting up from her seat, turning you around as she helped you with your hair. "Cry baby, you're in high school now...grow up," You gave Sunghoon a sharp glare, complaining to Soojin about how he's always so indifferent when it comes to you. Soojin just laughed, placing a gentle kiss on your head as she sat down behind you, placing her head on your shoulder.

It had been a year since Soojin's incident, and you were glad to hear her smile and laugh again, so if that meant you had to constantly bicker with Sunghoon then so be it. You were just glad you didn't lose her that day. When your eyes found Sunghoon he was already looking at you with a soft smile, a mutual understanding in your eyes. Soojin was smiling more these days, and you were glad things were going back to how they were.

"Ah, I forgot," You stood up frantically gathering your things as the other two watched you with confused eyes, "I've to help my mom with dinner since her friends are coming," Your blazer fell down on the ground, "need to go, I'll meet you guys tomorrow, byee." Sunghoon and Soojin could only shake their heads at your forgetfulness and you made a run towards the school's gate. You were halfway through your way when you realized your blazer was, in fact, not in your hand, you don't even recall where you dropped it.

"Fuck, how stupid I could get?" You grabbed your phone from your pocket and dialed your mom's number, thankful that she picked it up quickly. You told her about your blazer, of how you're unsure to run home or back towards school to find it. Your mother laughed, reassuring you that your dad had come home early to help, urging you to get your blazer before it's too late. You sighed in relief before running back towards school, hoping and praying you dropped it somewhere nearby. It had slowly started to get dark when you reached the school's ground, you made your way slowly towards the place you, Soojin and Sunghoon, hung out.

Your eyes fell upon your blazer neatly folded and placed upon the bench you were sitting along with Soojin and Sunghoon who's belongings. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion since both of them were nowhere in your sight. You made your way towards the back of the school filled with large palm trees, your feet coming to a stop as you caught a sight of them.

Soojin's hand was held by Sunghoon as they stood in front of each other, close, maybe a little too close, they were talking, you aren't sure about what. Your ears were ringing loudly anyway, and you stood there watching it all. Soojin stepped closer, her hand clutching his necktie as she leaned in close. Sunghoon's hand raising up to cradle her cheek. The distance between their lips shortened, you turned your back and never looked back till you reached your parents house, blazer still lying on the bench you were sitting earlier that day.

You sighed deeply, laying on your bed, as you remember watching them together. Sunghoon handed you the blazer, washed and ironed, first thing in the morning when he picked you up from your house the next day. You remember smiling awkwardly and being quiet all the way to school, even Soojin looked concerned. Everything was normal that day, between Sunghoon and Soojin at least, because all you did for the next few days after that was wonder when they'll break the news of them being a couple to you.

As the time passed, you thought less about it, maybe both of them just weren't ready to open up to you. Eventually you stopped wondering all together, cause nothing drastically changed between you three after that day. Soojin was still recovering from her traumas, maybe they wanted to take things slow. But something shifted slightly, Sunghoon started paying more attention towards Soojin, you thought it was inevitable if they had feelings for each other, you made peace with that fact. Back then you only feared they would forget you, that they'll forget they had another piece in their puzzle but as you grew older you realize you not only feared losing them as your friend but also about your growing feelings for Sunghoon.

You knew you had feelings for him way before you even realized, especially when he smiled at you, crooked teeth and all, when you fell down your bike on the first day of your middle school. You remember him apologizing, his small hand grabbing your smaller one as he helped you stand up, and how Soojin ran towards you both and scolded Sunghoon intensely for hurting her 'bestest best friend in the whole world.'

He just stood there as he listened to her scolding, his face as serious as it could get, like he wanted to prove Soojin that he was indeed deeply saddened by the fact that you got hurt. It took a while for Soojin's 11 year old self to calm herself down and you hugged her, face full of guilt as you explained that it should be you apologising since you weren't paying attention while riding the bike and almost hitting Sunghoon who wasn't even aware you were bolting towards him. The look on Soojin's face was priceless and Sunghoon offered to be both of your '2nd bestest best friend in the world' as an apology, you quickly agreed and the rest is history.

"I applied for this program because it was academically challenging but I did not think it would actually challenge me," Heeseung was struggling with his study material, his head propped lazily on your lap as he abandoned his laptop on the coffee table. "Oh poor bambi," You mumbled massaging his head to release some of his stress. Jake was drinking his deathpresso again as he sat surrounded by countless textbooks and binders. Jay and Sunghoon were studying together in Jay's room to not get distracted. Soojin was back in her dorm room, probably didn't even sleep for a minute.

You texted and called her in regular intervals to remind her to eat and rest, exam season was always too hectic. After sometime Heeseung got up to continue his study and you placed your textbook back in your lap to continue from where you left. One more paper and then you all were free for the rest of the summer.

"Are you planning on going home after exams?" Heeseung asked as all six of you were eating dinner at the local diner near the college campus. When Soojin didn't pick up her phone for the 2nd time, Sunghoon decided it was time to drag her out to force her to eat something. You were thankful that Heeseung, Jay and Jake had a mutual understanding about everything that had happened but never dared to touch the topic in front of Soojin. "Not me, I will try to find some summer jobs to save up money," Jake nodded at your words agreeing with you.

"I'm staying here too, I need to find and apply for internships as soon as possible," Sunghoon said, your eyes drifting to Soojin who agreed to stay with you the whole summer since she didn't want to go back home alone. Jay's family was going on a long vacation so he'll be gone for half of the summer holidays. Heeseung and Jake decided to be back from the holidays as soon as Jay came so that all of you could spend the rest of the summer together. "All the best for tomorrow guys," and you were off to your respective places.

Your steps felt light as you exited your exam hall, you decided worrying about how you wrote your exams now was useless anyway. You met the boys at the usual sitting area near the far right building. You checked the time, Soojin and Heeseung were always the last ones to exit the exam hall. You smiled, getting up from your seat as you spotted her walking towards you. "Soojin! Come fast!" Sunghoon shook his head as he grabbed your wrist, smiling lightly, making you sit back once again.

Soojin's steps flattered as she neared the spot, what once began as a smile on your face ended in tremble as you watched her balance tip, your feet were moving before your mind did, Sunghoon few steps ahead but still too far. You closed your eyes, unable to watch her hit the ground, you could hear distant voices of Jay, Jake and Sunghoon yelling at her to stay put and then everything went silent.

You opened your eyes, everything stilled, Soojin laid unconscious, in Heeseung's arms as he tapped her cheek to wake her up. Sunghoon reached forward, taking her from Heeseung's arm as he instructed Jay to get his car. You couldn't move, still glued in the same place as you watched everything unfold, eyes never leaving Soojin's face as Sunghoon placed her inside the car. Heeseung followed soon, making himself comfortable in the passenger's seat.

Somewhere in between, you felt Jake grab your arm and pull you towards his car. You let him drag you, your mind blank. He pushed you towards the passenger's seat and fastened your seat belt, and made his way towards the driver seat. The drive towards the hospital was silent, Jake throwing concerned glances at you as he kept on driving. You didn't even let him properly park before you were taking out your seatbelt and making a run towards the hospital.

You found Sunghoon and Jay near the end of the hallway. "Where's she?" "She's inside the room, the doctor is examining her, I heard the doctor say something about fatigue and low energy," You nodded at Jay before slumping against the chair, your hand trembling as you stared at the room she currently was in. You don't remember when Jake joined you three, you could hear Jay's voice in the distance explaining that Heeseung was taking care of the medical obligations, but their voices were muffled and all you could focus on was the door in front of you.

Sunghoon sat beside you, his fingers on your shirt's button where a few strands of hair had tangled in all the rush, you let him untangle them. It was his way of keeping himself grounded, paying more attention to trivial things in order to temporarily forget about the bigger ones. His hand grabbed your trembling ones, assuring you that it was probably due to stress. You forced yourself to listen to him, you forced yourself to believe in his words even when your instinct told you not to.

After some time, you were allowed to see Soojin. Sunghoon, Jay, Jake and Heeseung entered the room and you stayed back to ask the doctor about her condition. She explained to you how Soojin was severely dehydrated, she hadn't eaten in days so she had no energy left, and the all nighters she pulled didn't help her condition either.

When you entered the room, you simply asked Sunghoon to bring some juice and energy drink for Soojin. You sat beside her silently, holding her hand which wasn't connected to the IV tube, the same hand which bore the scar of the pain she endured years ago. Jay, Jake and Heeseung stayed with you, Jay put your head on his shoulder in a silent way to say he's there, right beside you. And as you sat there in the hospital room with all the boys by Soojin's side, a small tear escaped your eye realizing this is the closest you could get to a second home.

You made Jay, Jake and Heeseung go back to the apartment even though they were very reluctant. Sunghoon had gone with them to prepare some food for Soojin to eat in the hospital. You washed your face in the hospital's bathroom, looking at your reflection in the mirror. Something was bothering you at the back of your mind, but you decided to pay attention to it later. You made your way back into Soojin's room, she looked better now than before, she was talking with a nurse with a newfound enthusiasm which you couldn't find earlier when another nurse was checking up on her.

The nurse gave you a smile of acknowledgement as she scribbled on her notepad and left, you gave Soojin a wary look as you sat beside her. "This nurse is way nicer than the other one, kinder too, I like her," A smile graced your lips at her words, taking note of the fact that being nicer indeed makes people's life easier. "I told you to take care of yourself, I asked you many times if you've eaten, you lied to me?" Her face went pale, she avoided holding eye contact with you.

"I tried to eat, I couldn't swallow anything due to the anxiousness creeping up on me, what if I fail this exam?" You could see her eyes getting glassy as she rambled on about how the exams are stressing her, how she is feeling like a loser, "You've never once failed Soojin, and these percentage means nothing, all of us will love you the same even if you score less marks, I can guarantee you that I'll love you regardless of anything. I won't leave your side." You wiped the tears before they slid across her face, you were scared, scared for her, for her parents, for Sunghoon, for yourself. How are you supposed to make her realize she's more than her achievements and reputation? You were desperate to pull her out of this, desperate enough to pray.

"Really? You'll love me even if I fail all of my subjects? Even when I won't win that debate competition? Even when I look ugly? Will you?" She held your hands in her pale ones, like they were the only thing keeping her sane. "Yes, I'll love you through it all, not only me but Sunghoon too okay? Remember you're moving in with me next semester, I'll help you make flashcards and study materials and stay awake with you revising each and every topic. That's my promise to you, I'm still thinking about all of that, I'll be by your side."

"What if I ruin you? What if you get irritated by me? You have trouble sleeping, if you stay awake for me won't it affect your health too? What about your studies? Aren't your parents expecting you to graduate first class? Won't you feel suffocated? What if you'll start hating me-" You shut her mouth with your hand, you held her tighter in your arms as you repeatedly told her that it would never happen.

"Soojin, if I had two hearts, I would give you the second one too, just to break. So it doesn't matter to me, I will gladly embrace the inconveniences that come along with you. Those aren't inconveniences for me, nothing about you is an inconvenience for me, I chose your struggles when I chose you. Sunghoon and I are staying for good." You let her soak your shirt as she cried in your arms and you didn't let go even after she stopped.

"I think it will be better for me to go back home for the holidays, staying here will only stress me out more if I'll see someone working harder than me," You nodded at her words, maybe staying with family will keep her head off of the university's stress. You'll inform her parents about her condition too. "If that's what you want...I won't oppose it." Soojin gave you a warm smile, placing a kiss on your cheek, "can you promise me one thing?"

"Promise? What?" She sat up straight facing you, she looked adorably cute in that hospital gown, you pinched her cheeks and she swat your hands away before once again holding them, "promise me you'll take care of yourself and Sunghoon when I am not here, both of you tend to get overbearing when it comes to me, and Sunghoon worries so much about me that it worries me," you let her words sink in your chest before you nodded, "I'll take care of him and me, pinky promise."

Your summer holidays are as boring as they could get, with only Sunghoon and you in the city while others are enjoying their families. You almost wished you went along with Soojin to your hometown instead. Sunghoon packed his bag and decided to live with you for the time being because you wouldn't shut up about being bored all the time. You tried looking for a job but the summer heat was unbearable, so work from home it is. Sunghoon, as he said, was indeed very busy with his internship applications and research. But at least you weren't alone.

You regularly FaceTimed and texted Soojin, even Sunghoon always joined in each and every call despite his schedule. But it seems your presence beside her would have been better than the calls you three shared. With time, the schedule got busier, you got another work from home opportunity which you could fit in your schedule. Sunghoon started his internship, and would only come back in the evening. The number of calls started declining the more you got exhausted due to work. And each day, the light inside Soojin's eyes started getting more and more dimmer. You occasionally talked with her mother to get updates from her, and she always said the same thing, Soojin wouldn't talk with them more than necessary.

"I had a talk with Soojin's mom yesterday," You were leaning back against the headboard and Sunghoon laid beside you, his eyes closed, finally being able to rest since it was a weekend. "I think I should go and pay her visit, she said Soojin is growing more and more quieter day by day." Sunghoon opened his eyes at that, shifting a bit as he laid his head on your lap instead, "Is it that bad? I will come with you." You played with his hair, thinking about his suggestion, maybe Soojin would appreciate Sunghoon's presence more than yours. "What about your internship?"

"I'll handle it, let's share this with Soojin. She'll be excited to know we're visiting her." Your eyes lit up at his suggestion as you FaceTimed Soojin. Sunghoon sat you straight leaning into your phone's frame. She picked up the phone at the last ring, "what's up?" You and Sunghoon waved as soon as you saw her face on the screen, she smiled half heartedly as she jumped on her bed to sleep.

"We're coming to meet you and maybe stay there for a couple of days." You smiled brightly at her as Sunghoon nodded his head. "Both of you? What about your jobs and your internships?" You laughed at her confused expression shaking your head, "Don't worry about that, nothing is more important than you," You nodded your head in agreement at Sunghoon's words. "Seriously guys! I'm really FINE, don't change your schedules for me, it's just a phase, I'll be alright!" She hung up the call before even listening.

You exchanged a look with Sunghoon at her sudden outburst, yeah, something was definitely wrong, yeah, you really needed to visit her to calm her down. She was getting pulled right back into the abyss you thought she left behind in high school. You immediately sent email to both your jobs for emergency leave and Sunghoon did the same with his internship. You both started packing your essentials so that the first thing both of you do in the morning is to board the train taking you back to your hometown.

The ride towards your hometown was filled with anxiousness and concern. You tried calling Soojin to tell her you'll be arriving early in the afternoon, then once again when you boarded the train, then again when you were halfway through your destination, but she didn't pick up even once. "I feel like throwing up since midnight, the feeling won't go away hoon," Sunghoon's face was hardened as he looked out the window, his persistent tapping of legs indicating the turmoil he himself was going through.

"It will go away, everything will be alright, it has to be," He anxiously checked the time and station every 5 minutes. He was getting agitated with every call getting ignored. Soojin had never ignored the call, even her parents won't pick up. The train ride was nerve wracking for both of you as you reached your destination.

Visiting Soojin straight after reaching your hometown was a decision both of you didn't need to verbalize. The house was locked when you arrived making you more confused than you already were. No one was picking up the phone, no one was in the house, what was even happening? You dialed her number again, the silence of your surroundings made it possible for you to hear the distant sound of a phone ringing from inside the house. She left the phone in the house. You heard a familiar voice call out your name, you and Sunghoon walked towards Soojin's neighbor, an old grandma who always gave you three sweets whenever she could. "Where are they?"

"You don't know?" You and Sunghoon exchanged a curious glance at her worried tone, "why?" You were practically holding onto the fence for dear life as you ushered grandma to continue, "Soojin attempted to take her life early in the morning today, all of them are at the hospital, she's in a very critical condition-"

Sunghoon dragged you out of the yard and towards the hospital before grandma couldn't even finish her sentence properly. You were out of breath, Sunghoon being relatively taller and faster, you let him drag your body along with him. He stopped right in front of the hospital gate, unable to bring himself to enter. "I'm scared," So were you, Sunghoon let you drag him inside the hospital, his mind numb as he forced himself to take one step after another. "She'll be alright, her parents were with her," you tried to reason out.

You spotted Soojin's younger brother and rushed towards him, he immediately broke down in your arms. Her mother and father were sitting outside of the operation room covered in blood as they prayed for her, it reminded you of the first time when you were here with Sunghoon. "She'll be alright, right?" Sunghoon kneeled in front of her mother, she broke down immediately after noticing you both. "What happened?" Your voice trembled as your eyes flickered between her parents and the operation room.

"We heard a some noise, a soft thud, I thought someone had barged into our house so I woke Soojin's dad to inspect and we found her lying on the ground unconscious, with blood dripping from her hand-" her mother couldn't stop another wave of tears from flowing so her dad continued, "they have been inside the OR for hours, she was breathing still, we informed police about this, her brother found a note."

"Tell her we don't expect much from her as long as she's happy, tell her we love her regardless, I can't take it anymore, let her live pain free, please," You hugged her mom as tears formed in your eyes. Sunghoon was already crying, his head resting against your lap. The light of the Operation room dimmed, her dad and mom were first to make a move towards the doors, you and Sunghoon stayed where you were, eyes trained towards the room.

The doctor walked out, his face gravely. At that moment, the world stood still. The doctor’s lips moved, but all you could hear was a roaring silence. Your heart knew before my mind caught up, Soojin was gone. The hallway was too quiet, too sterile for grief. When the doctor looked at you, you saw it in his eyes, loss wrapped in professionalism. His voice was calm, but it shattered your world. They always say you'll remember the exact moment you hear it. For you, it was the way the doctor hesitated before speaking, "I'm sorry, we tried everything we could."

The scent of incense irritated your nose and burned your eyes. With trembling hands you offered flowers in front of Soojin's portrait. Your parents and siblings stood beside you, bowing towards the altar as they silently mourned. Soojin was smiling brightly in her portrait, a picture captured by you in her happiest moment, framed in black ribbon above the altar. The room was filled with hushed conversations, some sympathetic, others judgmental. You decided you would stay quiet for Soojin's peaceful departure.

Jake and Jay were helping with the food, Heeseung stayed beside Soojin's parents in case they needed anything. Your eyes searched for Sunghoon who was seated at the far corner of the room, his parents right by his side as they consoled him. He just sat, not even moving an inch.

When the time arrived, Soojin's mother couldn't let go of her. Sunghoon gently but firmly held her back as she cried in his arms, defeated. Someone wailed loudly, who? You aren't sure, your eyes never left Soojin's face even when they closed the coffin, like a finality that this was it. Sunghoon, Jay, Jake and Heeseung, along with Soojin's brother and dad helped in picking up the coffin.

You helped her mother carry her portrait in the front. Outside air was chill, it sent a shiver down your spine. A white car was waiting outside the funeral hall, a coffin was placed, the car took off as everyone bowed for the last time.

You softly called out for Soojin's brother, "take your parents back home, they must be tired. Make sure they rest, you've to be strong for them. I'll handle the rest." He nodded his head, wiping his tears before urging his parents to get in Jay's car to drive back home.

You haven't cried the entire time, you weren't sure if you'll be able to. You stood in the middle of the empty funeral hall, eyes not leaving the spot Soojin was moments prior, you didn't move, you didn't dare to disturb the silence with your presence. You just stared at nothing in particular, your mind haywire with everything and nothing simultaneously. You wanted to cry, to yell, to feel something other than the hollowness you felt deep in your heart, but tears won't come out. You hand made its way inside your dress pocket, your fingers curled around a neatly folded envelope. "Soojin left it for you and Sunghoon, I found it beside the note addressed to us."

You aren't sure how much time has passed, you're still at the same place, unable to let go, unable to come to terms with the fact that a piece of your past has decided to stay frozen forever. You aren't sure how you'll escape this loneliness, when all of your memories till now had Soojin in it. You felt Sunghoon's presence before you saw him, he stood beside you for a moment, didn't utter a single word. You wondered how he's coping with the news, you haven't even spoken to him since yesterday, yet you've been with each other all along.

He sighed deeply, his hand circling around your wrist. He wordlessly dragged you out of the hall, you let him. You weren't sure where he was taking you, but you didn't protest. Evening breeze irritated your skin, it was still the middle of the summer, the air was too humid, suffocating you slowly. The breeze brought anything but peace to you. Sunghoon sat you down on one of the benches of the hall's garden. He never let go off your hand, fingers now intertwined with yours. The sky looked pretty today, you almost clicked a picture to send it to Soojin.

"I tried my best to make her understand, when she slept in my apartment on Jay's birthday, when she was hospitalized, I....I tried everything I could to help her understand but...." your voice gave out, you didn't know how to even explain this to him. Sunghoon gulped, "I did all I could do too, when she would complain about things while walking to our hangouts, when she got less marks than she anticipated, when I was walking with her while coming to Jay's party, when I called her at the middle of the night when she was pulling those all-nighters."

"Do you think she's at peace now?" You finally dared yourself to look at him, sullen eyes, chapped lips, ruined shirt collar. You heard him sigh, "maybe she is, she was carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders." You didn't disagree, instead you felt Sunghoon guide your head on his shoulder. "You know," You laughed bitterly, "I moved all of my things to accommodate hers, I was so excited that I was finally going to have a roommate." Sunghoon just listened as you sat there talking about how you had planned everything, you talked and talked till you couldn't anymore, till the security guard gently smiled at you both, telling you it's time to close.

The summer holidays came to an end, you and Sunghoon, occasionally Jay, Jake and Heeseung, spent it with Soojin's family. Helping them move Soojin's things from her dorm room, with house chores, with her brother's assignments, and everything which you could. Lia decided to move out of the dorm, the emptiness of their dorm room was eating her up she said, you don't blame her. She had spent everyday living with Soojin. You suggested that she visit you sometimes if she missed Soojin too much.

You were currently working on your assignment, it was past midnight yet you were wide awake. You were afraid to fall asleep, memories of Soojin's death lingering at the back of your mind like a tape record with a broken off button. Her absence was still fresh, you still sometimes dial her number or almost text her about random things. The group chat three of you had was silent now, yet sometimes you or Sunghoon would message a thing or two, mainly when your brains were too foggy to realize that Soojin isn't going to reply.

You texted Sunghoon asking about his whereabouts and now you can't help but keep on glancing at every notification on your phone hoping it's from him. He rarely ignored you, especially after what happened with Soojin, he had made it his personal mission to be there for you. You wondered where he was, he never left you hanging like this so you were getting anxious. Even though your conscience begged you to not disturb others who are sleeping, you still found yourself texting Jay to ask about Sunghoon.

Surprisingly, Jay replied immediately informing you that Sunghoon left the apartment hours ago and is yet to come back. You asked him if he had any idea where he was but he told you he thought Sunghoon was with you like always. You replied that you haven't seen or heard from him after he dropped you off from university to your apartment. You quickly exited the chat, dread creeping up on you, you silently prayed he will pick up this time.

After a few rings, you heard a faint sound coming from the other side of the phone, "Sunghoon?" You heard him take a sharp intake of breath followed by a very clear and loud hiccup. Soft music could be heard but it was muffled with the sounds of traffic, people and wind. "Where are you?" Another hiccup, "It's 5:00 AM, why are you awake?" You rubbed your tired eyes in exhaustion. "I asked you a question first! Are you drunk?"

"Very much," You got up, took the keys in your hand, locked your door, started your car and entered his location details on the map. "I'm coming to get you, stay where you are." You didn't think you would end up in this situation today, your eyelids were getting heavier due to lack of sleep. You saw him slumped against a lamppost near the bar, you helped him get inside your car, texting Jay that you found him and are now taking him to your apartment.

You haven't seen him quite this drunk, ever. You recalled having a conversation with Jake, about how Sunghoon wasn't much involved in their chats or hangouts, they figured he needed some time to himself, to deal with the grief like he wanted, if this is how he was planning on grieving then you weren't going to let it happen. You've already lost Soojin, you weren't going to let Sunghoon be next. You helped him with his shoes and jacket, pushing him towards your bedroom.

You laid him on your bed, helping him with his accessories, putting them on your nightstand. You pulled a blanket on him, and he quietly let you. You were skeptical with him being so compliant, normally he was very hard to handle when drunk. He had his eyes closed, letting you pamper him all you want, you removed a few hair from his forehead before pulling back to continue with your work.

"Don't leave," When you turned around, he was already sitting up looking at you with pleading eyes, you sighed as you made your way back, standing beside him. His hands circled around your waist, his head on your stomach, he nuzzled his head closer inhaling your scent, "don't leave please," his voice was muffled but you heard it anyway. You ran your fingers through his hair to calm him down. The desperation in his voice pulling your heart apart.

"I can't lose you too, you mean the world to me, I can't lose you like I lost Soojin, please," Your shirt soaked with his tears as he cried, shoulders shaking uncontrollably as he held you like his life depended on it. "I'm not leaving, I'm here," your presence grounded him as he cried till no tears left in his eyes to shed. Whispers of 'I feel so empty', 'I feel alone', 'I unintentionally called her but her brother picked the phone', 'where did I go wrong' left his mouth and you listened. After a while when silence surrounded you both you pushed him back against the bed, and climbed to the other side of the bed. He immediately shifted near you, taking your hand in between both of his and closed his eyes. You sighed, patting his back to help him sleep.

The constant shifting on your bed was what pulled you out of sleep the next morning, your mind still foggy as you turned to look beside you. The morning light seeped through the space between the curtains, you lifted your head to look at Sunghoon who was constantly tossing and turning. You chuckled lightly, pulling him by his shirt, he obliged albeit half confused, his hand circled around your waist, lazily pulling your body closer to his, tucking his head on your neck.

"Morning," you softly comb your finger through his hair, "My head is thumping like a drum," he whined, holding you tightly, his groggy morning voice sent shivers down your spine. You softly massaged his hair to help with his hangover. He hummed in delight, feeling a bit better. You stayed like that for a while, your eyes getting heavy once again.

"Shall I move in with you?" You were wide awake now, "Are you sleep talking?" Sunghoon leaned back a little to give you a tight look, then resumed his previous position. "No, you're bad at taking care of yourself, you don't sleep or eat properly, you're a walking hazard to put it simply...I'm afraid you need constant supervision."

"....that didn't help me feel better"

"It wasn't meant to make you feel better, just pure fact," you hit the back of his head to remind him of his hangover, he winced pinching your side in return. You slapped his hands too, "what are you good at anyway?" His fingers traced circles around your stomach and you gulped, clearing your throat, "washing dishes?" Sunghoon laughed loudly as he propped himself on his elbow to look at your face. "Washing dishes? Hmm....let's see...I can cook well, you can wash dishes, how does that sound?"

That sounds great, you wanted to tell him but words got stuck in your throat. It sounded exactly how you imagined living with your roommate would be like. How similar it was to what you discussed with Soojin. Sunghoon's smile flattered as he looked into your eyes, his free hand gently cradling your face to shift your attention back on him. "It sounds perfect," you muttered. He narrowed his eyes at you but didn't push further.

"You sound like you dread having a roommate," he pouted as he got off the bed, holding his head since it started spinning due to sudden movement. "I dread having you as my roommate, what if you poison me?" He scoffed, throwing a towel on your face, "trust me, I would have already if it was legally allowed. I don't want this handsome face to be behind the bars where no one would be able to appreciate it." You made sure he heard you gag at that thought.

You were eating breakfast or brunch if you looked at the time, talking about you having a chat with Soojin's parents and asking yours to visit them from time to time. Sunghoon smiled softly, playing with a fork rather than eating. He was happy to see you talk about Soojin without dread looming above you. Things haven't been easier, and he fears it won't ever. Thinking both of your lives would go on without Soojin already leaves a bitter taste in his mouth, but he knows Soojin wouldn't want him or you to be hung up on her.

Sunghoon isn't blind, perhaps a little too good at observation, he knew you still had nightmares from the time Soojin attempted to take her life, after all you were the first one to see her in that condition. He knew it would be more difficult for you to stay alone with Soojin gone. Soojin had once told him how you sleep better if you have someone with you. He thinks he finally understands what Soojin meant when he saw you sleeping soundly beside him. He didn't want to take a risk by leaving you alone, especially now that Soojin wasn't there for you to run up to.

You nudged his leg with yours when you saw him zoning out, "don't play with your food, how many times do I have to tell you?" He smirked at your words, "many times now that you agreed on being my roommate." You rolled your eyes, going back to eat your food.

Sunghoon sighed, finishing his food and helping you with the dishes, "you're pretty good at cooking, I always thought Jay or Soojin helped you but I guess I was wrong."

"Help me? You mean to say of all these years you were eating my food, you didn't think I was the one making it?" You nodding enthusiastically was not even the last reaction expected. "I need my daily dose of appreciation now as a compensation for all the years of ignorance."

"Ugh, I hate you with burning passion,"

"No, you don't."

"Yeah, I don't." Sunghoon dried his hands before ruffling your hair. "You're going back?" Sunghoon nodded, promising to shift his things into your apartment the following weekend.

As soon as Sunghoon entered his apartment he was greeted by a very stern looking Jay sitting beside a very oblivious and confused Jake. "You should at least inform someone before disappearing like that! Do you know how worried everyone was?" Sunghoon sighed, mumbling an apology to never repeat it again as he made his way towards his room to relax and continue his work.

He changed into more comfortable clothes, quickly texting you that he reached home. He stretched a bit before making his way towards his study desk to finish his assignment. As soon as he opened his laptop, his headache rolled back due to the screen light, he closed the laptop with lightning speed. He massaged his head, groaning lightly before pulling his hair in frustration. He stood up, trying to recall where he put his medicine box the last time he cleaned.

He found the box placed carelessly on the far end of Jake's computer. He took the box, walking back towards his bed to take the glass of water from the night stand. He swallowed the medicine and hoped it would work fast. The cover of the tablet fell down in the process. He sighed before crouching down to throw the trash in the dustbin when his eyes landed on the boxes kept below his bed. His eyes trained on the half opened one, he reached forward and opened it fully. He smiled at the polaroids and keychains as he rummaged through it. He stopped when he caught the sight of a bracelet, he picked it up bringing it up to his eyes before putting it back inside, closing the box.

Sunghoon sighed, fragments of his past life connecting together to make a bigger, clear, picture. That day started normal, Sunghoon picking you up from your house, you running away from him as soon as you spotted Soojin, him waving at her before continuing the classes. It was the last class of the day when Soojin approached him, "Sunghoon, do you have a spare book in your locker? I forgot mine." Very unlikely that Soojin would be the one to forget something but he got up to get her the book anyway.

The locker room was situated outside of the classes, in a common area. The hallway was empty as Sunghoon opened his locker. His eyes landed on a black box neatly placed inside his locker, confusion gracing his features as he looked around to see anyone who may have left it. Sunghoon's locker being filled with gifts and letters on certain occasions was nothing new, he had grown used to it, but he couldn't recall that day being anything special. A letter was neatly folded above the box, he carefully opened the letter and it didn't even take a minute for him to recognize the handwriting of Soojin.

'Before you open the box, I need to talk to you alone, meet me at our usual hangout after school?'

Sunghoon eyed the box, staring at it as if it would start spilling out secrets hidden inside of it. The class bell rang, he quietly grabbed a spare book and made his way back towards the last class of the day. He entered the class, immediately making eye contact with Soojin, she smiled at him while taking the book from his hand. She turned her head to look in your direction where you were happily laughing with your seatmate then back towards Sunghoon. "I want you to keep this between us," she looked at him expectantly, Sunghoon nodded before making his way towards his seat.

His mind was racing with countless scenarios, his foot tapping against the floor repeatedly. He was silent during the lecture but couldn't focus at all. His mind racing with thoughts. His eyes trailed towards you trying to keep up with the teacher's words and notes you were writing. Then they swayed towards Soojin who sat straight in her seat. If it wasn't Sunghoon, anyone else would think she was laser focused on the class.

While you were talking with your seatmate, Sunghoon made his way towards Soojin. "How are you planning on discussing things with me when you know I walk with her home?" Soojin smiled, turning towards you to realize you were already looking at her. She waved her hand towards you urging you to hurry up then turned back towards Sunghoon. "She needs to help her mom with something, she'll go first. I don't want her to feel isolated, I would have chosen another day if that wasn't the case." Sunghoon nodded his head, and then you joined them.

Sunghoon shook his head as he watched you hurriedly run to go home, "she dropped her blazer." Soojin dusted the dirt from your blazer, Sunghoon took it, folding it neatly. "What are you doing?" He just smiled at her confused gaze, "taking it with me to return it." Soojin gulped, taking the blazer from his hand and placing it beside their belongings. "Let's take a walk?"

Sunghoon didn't urge her to talk, he let her set the pace. He knew she was much more anxious than he'll ever be so she let her lead the discussion. They talked for a bit, about everything and nothing, for a moment it felt good, normal even, like it was just another day and this was just another conversation amongst the countless ones. Mid-laugh, Soojin stepped forward blocking his path, Sunghoon gulped, raising his eyebrows to let her know she had his attention.

She took a deep breath, "did you....open the box?" Sunghoon shook his head no, she smiled, thanking him for listening to her. "You alright? Is anyone bothering you?" He needed to know, the nervousness of her face making his thoughts spiral more. She laughed assuring him everything is normal before she stepped closer, taking one of his hands in hers. "Your presence has always given me a sense of security, especially after what I did, you both must have been too worried about me and I'm thankful that both of you are still by my side."

"That's what friends are for! I'm always here for you." Sunghoon smiled back, squeezing her hand in reassurance. "Right...friends," Soojin huffed a small breath before locking eyes with him again, "I'll be direct with you since I know I can share anything with you without the fear of any judgement okay?" Sunghoon nodded, the grip of his hand tightening a bit around hers as she continued, "I like you," she stopped a bit to watch his expressions but decided to continue before he could say anything, "I think I've liked you for a while now, but ever since that night when I made an attempt at taking my-...and you've been by my side taking care of me, I couldn't help myself, I couldn't let these feelings sit in my heart, that's why I'm saying it to you. I really like you Sunghoon, you make me want to live a little more."

'I really like you Sunghoon, you make me want to live a little more.' Those words echoed in his ears as he looked at her. He never left her hand, he didn't even know how to react. He gulped as he watched her step closer, her other hand grabbing his necktie to pull him closer. He closed his eyes on instinct more than approval, how would she react if he pulled back? Will she fall into depression? Will she feel humiliated? Embarrassed?

Soojin is a kind girl, dating her wouldn't be that bad, especially if his presence means so much to her, he cares about her more than anything. He surely would fall in love too. He just felt terrified for intentionally or unintentionally hurting her. His hand trembled when he cupped her cheek, Soojin inhaled sharply.

His first kiss, he should be grateful it will be with someone he trusts, someone he cared for. Their noses touched, he felt her breath on his lips. He tilted her head to the side, he was sure his heart would jump out of his ribs. His thumb traced her jawline slowly before it stopped right at her lips, a shift in the position and his lips touched her forehead instead. He pulled back, chest heaving heavily like he had run a marathon, "I-....Soojin?" He looked at her, confused.

Soojin laughed, pushing him away from her lightly with the same hand she clutched his necktie a few minutes ago, "I just wanted to try my luck I guess." Sunghoon opened his mouth to say something, anything really, Soojin's eyes were filled with tears as she awkwardly stepped back, looking around the place to ease the tension. "Why would you try to kiss me when you don't even like me romantically?" Her question caught him off guard, isn't that what she wanted?

"I....just. I don't want to hurt you Soojin, I just want you to feel loved and cared for." Soojin shook her head, grabbed his blazer with both of her hands and shook him slightly, "so you were ready to be with me just to make me happy? What about you?" He avoided her eyes, he placed his hands on her, lightly but firmly. "I thought it will be fine, I care for you,"

"No, you just pity me," Her voice cracked, "you just pity me because I tried to take my own life, I know I've things to deal with, but don't pity me, I can handle rejection but I don't want people around me to walk on eggshells." Sunghoon pulled her into his arms, "I like you, maybe not in a way you want; does that mean I'll leave your side? No. I'm staying with you, right by your side. I'll still be just one call, one message away. Nothing has to change."

"You promise?" He wiped the tears flowing from her eyes, smiling softly at her, "you'll always be my priority Soojin. I may not be your boyfriend but I'll be the best friend you ever need."

Weekend rolled over faster than you imagined, Sunghoon's belongings were roughly scattered all around your living room. Jake and Jay were currently sprawled upon the couch, eyes closed. Heeseung and Sunghoon were still unpacking things and placing them in the places you pointed out. By evening, most of the things were unpacked and Sunghoon finally let his former roommates free. They bid their goodbyes with Jake dramatically clinging onto Sunghoon, crying about missing his roommate. You let the fact that they lived 5 minutes drive away from you go for now.

You helped Sunghoon with the rest of the things, he vacuumed the floor and you mopped it after. Only a few words were exchanged between you, your playlist occupying most of the silence. "Shall we eat out? It's too late and I'm very hungry," Sunghoon agreed with you before going to shower. You waited till he was done to go shower. Your clothes feel sticky with all the moving and cleaning you did.

You grabbed the food, deciding it would be better to just eat in the car. "You're very quiet today. It's threatening." You glared at him, though you never stopped eating your sandwich. "Don't speak with your mouth full," You retorted after swallowing your food. He stuck his tongue at you, opening the cap of your drink before passing it to you. "It looks like it will rain soon." The sky was filled with dark clouds, harsh wind making you shiver. Sunghoon closed the windows before even a single drop of water could touch your skin.

The rain came down heavy, angry as it drummed against the car's roof. The windshield blocked your view immediately due to the sheer amount of raindrops. The trees swayed relentlessly, signs blurring, people running to shield themselves from the heavy downpour. From inside the car the rainstorm seemed loud, distant even. The air went dense, thick with the scent of earth, the soft hum of the engine grounding you to the moment. Then the thunderstorm struck and you involuntarily shuddered, it wasn't like you were scared of lightning but because you've been extra sensitive to everything lately.

Sunghoon removed his jacket and placed it on your shoulder engulfing you in his scent, "wanna go back?" You shook your head no, wearing his jacket properly. "It's dangerous to drive in this weather....let's just stay here till the rain calms down." Sunghoon wordlessly agreed, raising the temperature of AC up. Soft music filled your ears as you leaned back on the seat. It looked like you'll be stuck here for a while.

Sunghoon hummed along with the song while waiting for the rain to calm down. You peered at him from your spot, he looked at you from the rearview mirror, your eyes trailed from his thick eyebrows, to his lashes, then to the moles adorning his face, to the slope of his nose, and those plush lips. You gulped, forcing yourself to look away before he caught you. You sighed softly, the rain showed no signs of stopping, neither did your thoughts.

"How do you cope when you're left with your thoughts for too long?" You couldn't bring yourself to look at him, eyes still focused on the way rain dropped on the window and slid down, "I mean, it must've been hard for you after Soojin left." He took a moment to let your words sink in, trying to understand them fully before responding. "I let those thoughts consume me, I don't run away, ignoring will only delay the pain."

You exhaled a breath you didn't even realize you were holding, "you can talk to me if things get too hard you know. I'll be there for you." He looked at you wondering why you were saying all those things now, "It must have been hard for you too right? I'm not the only one who lost her."

"Hmm...it's different for me and for you though....you two shared a much different bond than the one you two shared with me," the words left your lips before your brain could comprehend. Your eyes widened as your eyes met Sunghoon's confused ones. "What are you saying?" You scoffed, breaking eye contact, avoiding his scrutinizing eyes. "I saw you two that day....I walked back to school since I dropped my blazer." You didn't need to say anything further to clarify what day you were referring to. His eyes widened, mouth opening and closing, you continued, "I thought at least one of you would say something, anything to me but neither of you did."

You fiddled with your hands, unable to look at him, unable to keep your emotions in check. You had suppressed everything you felt in your heart for Soojin's sake, for years at that. Soojin's absence brought more turmoil inside you rather than ease it. You wanted, no, needed answers. Not for you, maybe a little for you but more for Sunghoon, you didn't want him to hurt alone. You could at least be there for him when you couldn't for Soojin. Maybe that's how you wanted to bring peace to your heart. If he wasn't going to open up to you, how were you going to help him with it?

"I-...I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel neglected, I thought Soojin would prefer things that way so I just went along with her and never told you." You played with the hem of his jacket. "So you just were never going to tell me if I didn't ask?" He shook his head, his hand making its way to hold yours. "Why does that thing matter though?"

"Why? It doesn't?" You released your hand from his hold, you decided to ignore his pained expression, "You did not think it was that important? Is that why you were so casual the next day? Because it didn't matter?" Sunghoon scoffed, not understanding where the conversation was heading. "If you saw us, why didn't you question us the next day? You always did that before!"

That pissed you off, "You wanted me to just barge in and ask you both, 'oh hey! I saw you both kissing and left, mind telling me if you're officially together or not' is that how you expected me to behave?" Your hands were flying everywhere as you spoke and Sunghoon just got more and more confused with each word spilling from your lips. And he knows he's stupid, Jake had countless times reminded him of that fact, but he couldn't help the way his eyes were more focused on your lips in that moment than anything else.

"Wait, we aren't-"

"I don't even want to discuss this, you're just pissing me off more, let's stop talking about this." Now it was his turn to get pissed, "Let me explain at least," your sharp glare shut him off quickly, "okay, whatever." Now not only was the atmosphere gloomy but so was the mood inside the car. The rain stopped and you sighed in relief, at least you could go back to your apartment and create some distance between you two. If this was how your first night ended after becoming roommates, you could only imagine the rest of the days.

You got off the car as soon as he parked the car, Sunghoon following suit. You fumbled with your keys trying to get it in, he gently grabbed them from your hand and easily opened the door in one go, now that just pissed you off more. You removed the shoes, stomping inside your room. Sunghoon just laughed to himself, "what a brat." He made his way inside his room, the former guest room planning on having a talk with you tomorrow after you've calmed down.

You threw your body on your bed, groaning at the way your body aches after helping Sunghoon move his things. He was so sweet when he asked if he could move in with you, and now he's behaving like that. You questioned why you have feelings for him in- "Why am I questioning? I don't have feelings for him." you decided you need a little sleep and peace for your mind to function properly again.

You were cozy, the weather outside was cool, wind was still blowing, the smell of earth after rain filling the air, your soft bed with your softest blanket draped around your body. You were in dreamland. You knew the sleep would be different after all that labour you did today, but that's not how that works right? You were thirsty, your throat screamed for your mercy, you searched for the glass of water on your nightstand only to realize you didn't refill it. You smashed your head against the pillow and screamed into it, then you made your way towards the kitchen to drink some water.

You flicked the kitchen light on, lazily drinking water when a loud thunderstorm echoed and you were surrounded by darkness. The yell that escaped your throat was intended to be in your imagination but Sunghoon heard it clearly, which made him frantically get up from his bed mid-sleep, and fall down. He got up, hurriedly making his way towards where your voice came from. By this time, the small light from the hallway window was the only thing illuminating the apartment.

He made his way towards the kitchen, still a bit hazy from waking up abruptly. He called out your name, "I'm here," he followed your voice. You were sitting on the floor at the corner of the kitchen. Your hand grabbed his as soon as you saw his silhouette near you. He freaked out a little when you grabbed his hand, but he wasn't going to let you know that.

"Hey, I'm here for you okay? Don't be scared." He sat beside you, wrapping his hand around your shoulder. He could feel your body slightly trembling, he pulled you closer, wrapping his other hand around you too, caging you in his embrace. You wrapped your arms around his waist to ground yourself. You have always feared darkness with burning passion. Normally you would always have your phone with you or near you to get through it.

Sunghoon drew out a long breath, his heart picking up speed at close proximity. Sure he has slept beside you, even hugged you countless of times but this felt more intimate, more vulnerable, more exposed. "You're still trembling," He pulled away from you in order to check on you but you grabbed his shirt in your hands, not letting go. Another lightening struck and you flinched, his hands grabbed your waist, pulling you up and onto his lap like you weighed nothing.

A loud gasp escaped your lips, he moved you till you were straddling his lap. His hands guided yours around his neck before his own made their way around your waist. He closed the distance between you in one push. His head found home in your neck, his arms tightening around you. A whimper left your lips as you hugged him. He rubbed your back, mumbling sweet nothings in your hair to help ease your nerves. You pulled back slightly, now that your vision had adjusted, you could see his silhouette though it was still very dark. You still hand your arms wrapped around him loosely and his grip shifted on your sides now. His thumbs draw circles around the area.

"We never kissed," His voice was more clear than the sky in the night's silence, "Soojin confessed to me that day, I got scared that she would get depressed if I rejected, I was afraid to be the reason for her next attempt, so I just went along with it. I thought maybe she'd be better if I said yes, but when I tried to kiss her she pulled back."

He continued, "I never told you anything because I didn't want Soojin to feel humiliated, she never discussed it with me either. Although I did not reciprocate, I still felt the need to be there for her more because she told me she felt safer with me around."

"I always thought you both had feelings for each other but were just toying around."

"Why would we be toying around if the feelings were mutual?"

"How would I know that?"

"God really said, 'no thoughts just vibes' with you," You slapped his shoulder as you leaned back a bit more. "What about that gift box?" You questioned, "exactly how many things you know about, trouble?" You groaned loudly before slamming your head against his shoulder. "I saw it on Jay's birthday when I picked up your hoodie from the floor, you aren't good at hiding."

"So the blame is on me?"

"Yes, of course. Who else?"

Living with Sunghoon was more peaceful than you initially thought. It has been months since the incident but nothing really changed, except now you had a companion to stay with. You couldn't really point but after Sunghoon's clarification days of turmoil finally stilled inside your mind, you realized how heavy your thoughts had been before that.

"Ready for college?" You peeked from the kitchen to see Sunghoon already near the door wearing his shoes. You gave him an okay sign, a half eaten bread in your mouth, he chuckled at your state urging you to hurry up. You finished your routine, locking the door behind and made your way out of your apartment complex. "We're driving today?"

"Jake wanted to go out after finishing classes." You entered the car, already feeling excited to spend some time with them. It had been a while, in between classes, assignments and everything, you only met each other in the university briefly. You missed spending time with them. "I missed them."

"Yeah, I can see it on your face." Sunghoon chuckled, reaching out to help you with the seatbelt. Your breath hitched at the close proximity and he just smirked, having the time of his life teasing you. He pulled back, not before throwing a wink at you, and you pulled his ear in response. You adjusted yourself in your seat as Sunghoon began driving.

"Jake, my baby!" The moment you spotted Jake a wide smile spread across your face, and before you could think your feet were already moving. You broke into a run, heart pounding with joy. When you finally reached him, you threw your arms around him in a tight embrace. He hugged you back, his arms tightening around your waist as he lifted you up and spun you around. Jay made a face when you pulled away from Jake, "You act like you didn't just meet yesterday,"

"Don't sulk, I missed you too." You threw yourself on him, although he put up a bit of a fight, he hugged you back nonetheless, "it feels good to see you smile like this again." Heeseung pushed Jay aside before engulfing you in his arms. "Missed you so much, can't handle these two without you, I was crashing out so bad." Sunghoon joined as soon as Heeseung let go of you, "Shall we head inside?"

All five of you made your way inside the arcade, you stood back letting the boys have their moment together, they rarely spend time together like before since Sunghoon moved in with you. Jake noticed your absence before anyone else did, making his way towards you he grabbed your hand and pulled you towards dance machines where Heeseung was currently standing, you stood beside him. He gave you a smirk before starting the game, you smirked back challenging him. What started as friendly competition, turned into you, Jay, Jake and Sunghoon rolling on the floor laughing as Heeseung slipped and fell.

"You okay?" You extended your hand to help him, he glared at you half angry half smiling as he held your hand. "You aren't hurt right?" He shook his head no, before holding Jake on a chokehold since he couldn't stop laughing. The rest of the day was filled with laughter, with conversations and gossip you missed having with them. For a moment, as you looked at them animatedly talking, pushing each other in annoyance everything felt normal.

For a moment you felt at ease, when Jake whispered something funny in your ear you turned to your other side, almost instinctively, to tell Soojin about it, then you stopped when realization hit you. This wasn't the first time it was happening, and you're sure this wasn't surely the last. All of you were still trying to adjust to life without one member of your little friend group.

Heeseung, Jay and Jake occasionally visited Soojin's parents if they happened to be near your hometown. Her mother once expressed her gratitude towards the boys' presence to you. You were happy that none of you were erasing her from your life, she was still present with you all. Especially in small moments like this when any one of you suddenly remembered her. She wasn't physically there with you, but you made sure she'll be with you in your memories.

Sunghoon nudged your shoulder with his, noticing that you were in your head again. He raised his eyebrows and you smiled, shaking your head as you ate your food, joining the conversation back. Sunghoon leaned back, his hand sliding across the back of your chair. You shot him a suspicious glance, he just shrugged. The night continued and soon Jay, Jake and Heeseung left.

The weather started getting cool again, you had your jacket with you this time, Sunghoon bought it knowing you forget easily, he was starting to get suspicious that you were doing this on purpose. "You zoned out again, you're doing that more these days." You gave him a look, "I'm trying my level best with everything, leave me alone." He just shrugged, draping his hand on your shoulder and pulling you flush against his body. You yelped but slid your hand against his waist anyway. You both decided to walk for sometime before heading back, the weather was too good to stay inside.

"You know," He started, you looked at him but his eyes were trained straight ahead, "there are times when I don't know what to do with the time I have in my hand, I don't need to have my phone close to me incase something would happen, I got so used to doting around Soojin that I don't know what I should do now. I moved in with you, so now even if I'm worried about you I can just solve your worries in person, I almost feel empty." He was looking at you now, his smile soft but still strained.

"I get it, but maybe it's time for us to honor her wishes rather than feeling guilty about it. You remember what she wrote in the letter right?" Sunghoon sighed, coming to a stop when he could see the city's skyline. You gave him the letter addressed to both of you after a few days of living with him. You stood beside him, recalling the things Soojin wrote for you. You may have known her your whole life, but you realized you failed to understand the roots of her struggles while trying your best to help her cope.

'I felt like an obstacle in your life, I wanted you both to focus on your own life more. I wanted to just feel normal with you. I couldn't bear watching you guys miss important milestones in your life in order to help me with my own, I felt like I was using you. I love and appreciate both of you, please live your life without any burden. Live your life the way you were supposed to, not focused on me, but on yourself. You'll both do that for me right?'

"Wanna go back?" You asked as you turned around to go back towards your car when you felt his hand grasping yours and pulling back. Your feet stumbled and you collided against him. You looked up meeting his gaze, the cold air sending a chill down your spine. His gaze darkened, his other hand sneaking around your waist to hold you properly.

"Aren't you a little too impatient?" He tucked your hair behind your ear, leaning close till your noses touched. Your breath hitched, one hand still in his hold and other clutching his jacket tightly. You felt his hand slip off your waist but neither of you made any attempt at pulling away. He held you in place with his gaze, the hand holding yours drawing small circles around your wrist. Your pulse was so erratic you were afraid he could feel it.

He raised his hand, his fingers lingered on your cheek, the softness his eyes held made your heart flutter. You tilted your head, and your eyes fluttered close. He looked at you for a moment, not too long because he was losing his control too. His lips met yours, the touch gentle, cautious like he was giving you a gateway to pull back if you wanted to. You sighed against his lips, your hand found its way towards his collar, pulling him closer. Something shifted inside him at your actions, his movements a little clumsy, he pulled you closer deepening the kiss.

The sheer pressure of his actions drew out a surprised gasp from you. You hand tightly holding his shoulders to ground yourself. He caught you just in time, without breaking the kiss. His lips parted, tongue sliding across your bottom lip, you parted your lips, his tongue exploring your mouth like he waited all his life just for this moment. You didn't feel the shift in your positions till your back hit the railings of the sidewalk you were standing at.

His hands cradled your face, you pulled away just enough to breathe, forehead touching, trembling and breathless, as if breathing was just another interruption. He didn't stop, pecking your lips once, twice and once again just because. His lips found their way towards your forehead, then your eyes, nose, cheeks and they were back again on your lips. The kiss this time was slow, the urgency was still present, but it was masked with something softer.

The distant traffic sound made you well aware of your surroundings. You pushed him away gently, your hand trembling against his chest. You looked at his state, chest heaving, hair disheveled, corner of his lips stained with your lipstick. A soft laugh escaped your lips, you hand raising to remove the lipstick stain from his lips, he leaned against your touch, his actions pulling at your heart, that's when you noticed.

You blinked, unsure if you were imagining things, you bought your hand closer. You froze, your fingers brushing against the cold metal you were sure wasn't there before. Your eyes widened when you recognized the bracelet which was neatly placed around your wrist, the one you saw in Sunghoon's room at Jay's party. "When did it get here? Is this for me?"

Sunghoon just smiled at you, locking you in between his arms and railing. "Hmm, for you, and about how it got there, I have my ways," he smirked, one of his hands tracing your lips. He placed the bracelet on your hand when he pushed you against the railing in the middle of kiss, the realization making heat crawl up your face. Sunghoon's lips find yours again, almost as if it's the only place that brings him solace. Your fingers grabbed his hair, pulling him closer. You don't remember how much time you spent just kissing each other, you've lost track of it far ago anyway.

"I love you," He whispered against your lips, pushing his body closer to yours if it was even possible. For a minute you forgot how to breathe. "I've loved you for as long as I can remember and I regret not having you like this before. Soojin was right, should've made the move years ago."

You pulled back, "Soojin knew about it?" He just smiled, kissing your cheek before continuing, "Well, Soojin knew about my feelings way before I did, it's kind of ironic if you think about it, something about the way I look at you when you're not noticing. She bought this bracelet for you, she wanted me to give it to you when I finally act on my feelings so here we are."

You held the bracelet closer, "is this her way of giving blessing to us?" Tears welled up in your eyes as a choked sob escaped your throat. She knew Sunghoon had feelings for you, she knew you had feelings for him, and she was trying her best to not be in the middle of it. You always thought you were the one getting isolated when in reality, it was Soojin trying her best to not get in the middle of both of you. Sunghoon wiped the tears that escaped your eyes, his own vision getting blurry. "I couldn't bring myself to confess when I knew she had feelings for me too."

"And that is the exact reason she was so fed up with us Sunghoon." His head hung low, in the process of trying to protect your best friend you both completely disregarded her need to blend in. Yours, Sunghoon's, her parent's life circled around her to the point she felt suffocated, maybe she felt guilty for unintentionally being the reason people around her neglected their own needs.

You cupped his face, kissing his eyes. You pulled him in your arms, inhaling his scent. "I love you too, more than anything." His arms tightened around your waist and you stayed like that for a while basking in each other's embrace. You both made your way back to the car to go to your apartment, one of his hands grabbing your thigh and occasionally squeezing it. Both of you were still riding on the high of your newfound confessions. None of you could keep your hands off of each other but decided to take things slowly. You had plenty of time together anyway.

You were ready to call it a night, freshly changed into your pajamas when you heard a knock on your bedroom door. Sunghoon was leaning against the doorframe, in his hand he carried a red box. You looked at him curiously, a silent question flickering behind your eyes. He just shrugged and placed the box in your lap and sat before you.

"The black box is the one Soojin gave me when she confessed, when I went home and opened it, the box was filled with different keychains and charms and polaroids of us," He explained as you opened the box then he continued, "there were polaroids of me, you, hers, of both of us, of me and Soojin." You nodded at him as your eyebrows furrowed looking at the contents of the box.

You looked at him and he just scratched the back of his neck smiling sheepishly, "I separated the polaroids which had you and me, and even your candids in my bag and Soojin saw them one day. She just laughed and told me to get another box to keep the things so I won't embarrass myself like that in front of you." You laughed at his words and he gave you a look which said, 'this-is-the-reason-I-wasn't-telling-you-about-things-before.'

The box was filled with the polaroids of you, of you and him together, the locket which you once left in his house, the greeting card you gave him on his 12th birthday, your drawings which you thought you threw away in trash bins. You laughed at yourself, so this was the reason why the black box was filled with polaroids of Soojin and Sunghoon only. You put them back, closing the box and putting it inside the drawer of your nightstand.

"If I had been a little bit more curious that day, I would've found you had a huge crush on me on Jay's birthday," You sighed dramatically, plopping yourself back onto your bed. Sunghoon lightly slapped your knees before making his way upwards, his arms placed on either side of your head as he hovered above you, caging you with his body. "You're such a menace," he grumbled, putting all of his weight on you, as he trailed kisses down your neck.

You sighed softly, his hands roaming all around your body. His mouth is working on your neck, sucking, biting, licking. You were sure your neck would be adorned with love marks after he was done with you. You ran your fingers through his hair, your other hand sliding across his shoulder as you both drifted off to sleep.

You don't think you'll ever forget what Soojin did in order for you to be here at this moment. Soojin was an integral part of both of your lives and she'll continue to play that part forever. She will always remain the link which joined you and Sunghoon together. You know she's still with you, maybe not how she used to be.

But now her presence lingers when morning sunlight makes you groans, it lingers when Sunghoon makes home cooked meals for you, when Jake wraps his scarf around your neck when you forget it yet again, when Heeseung ruffles your hair and constantly reminds you to eat during exam season, in a way Jay asks you to help him make flashcards for his study materials.

She never left, she just divided her love for you in four equal parts. And if you ever were left alone with your thoughts for too long, she lingered as the bracelet wrapped around your wrist to remind you she is still with you. You know she'll always be there for you and Sunghoon.

#enhypen #park sunghoon #writers on tumblr #park sunghoon x reader #sunghoon #enhypen sunghoon #sunghoon x reader #enhypen fanfic #enhypen x reader #enhypen au #enhypen imagines #enhypen angst #sunghoon angst #sunghoon au #sunghoon imagines #enhypen fluff

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planetaryupscaled · 1 year ago

Text

Best You Ever Had

Male Reader x IVE Yujin

Tags: 10k, anal, age-gap, cheating, creampie, oral, squirt

The story is not ours, we alternate the original story to match our desired settings.

“What?”

“What do you mean you hooked up with Sungho?”

“Keep your voices down!” Wonyoung barked at her teammates, Yujin and Gaeul. The three idols were on set working on their next album.

“What do you mean you hooked up with Sungho?” Gaeul asked in a much quieter voice.

“I mean, we had sex,” Wonyoung replied.

“Why?” Yujin asked. “He’s kind of cute, but he didn’t seem like he’d be your type.”

“He’s not.”

“So then why do it?” Gaeul reasked the question.

“Because…because…I…” Wonyoung tried to think of an acceptable answer. She hadn’t meant to tell her friends that she had hooked up with the newest staff member working on their MV. Now she had painted herself in her corner, and she couldn’t think up a good lie, so Wonyoung did something crazy. She told her friends the truth. “Because I fucked his dad.”

Yujin and Gaeul froze in shock. They looked at her and then at each other before turning back to Wonyoung and both shouting “WHAT!?!”

“Quiet!” she snapped back at her two friends.

“No,” Yujin answered back. “You can’t tell us you had sex with Sungho’s dad and not expect us to react.”

“Seriously. Why? How?” Gaeul added.

“Okay, fine. Let’s go back to our dorm and I’ll tell you both everything.” The three of them picked up what was left of their lunches and retreated to their dorm. Wonyoung told them how she was out at a grocery store and ran into a guy she recognized from the set. They started talking as they shopped as they went to pay at the register he asked her if she wanted to get dinner at a place across the street. Wonyoung said he was handsome and she liked talking with him so she agreed. She enjoyed having dinner with him and the next thing she knew she had invited him to their dorm and she was pinned up against her bedroom wall making out with him. The two had sex all night long and she barely got an hour of sleep before she needed to head to set.

“When was this,” Yujin asked.

“Remember that early morning shoot like three day ago when you asked me if I was still drunk from the night before when you saw me?”

“Yeah,” Yujin answered.

“Well, turns out I was drunk. Cock drunk,” Wonyoung laughed.

“Wow,” Gaeul laughed at Wonyoung’s joke. “Um, wait you said you thought he was part of the staff member? Who is he?”

“He’s always on set, usually in jeans and a t-shirt or like a henley. Sometimes has a hat on. He’s got dark hair and like a scruffy beard.”

“Oh, I know who you’re talking about,” Gaeul said. “He’s Sungho’s dad? He looks like he’s almost my age.”

“Turns out he had Sungho when he was in high school.”

“Wait, so you knew he was Sungho’s dad when you had sex with him?” Yujin asked.

“No, I didn’t find that out until we were taking a break the next time.”

“Next time? So this happened more than once?” Yujin asked.

“Yes. We did it like 4 or 5 times. The sex was really, I mean really amazing. I wasn’t going to just do it the once.”

“So how did you go from having sex with his dad, to fucking Sungho?”

“I felt bad about hooking up with his dad, and I felt weird about our age difference. And then I began to think if maybe his dad has this big cock and is amazing at sex, maybe Sungho was too. So then, one day after filming I invited him back to our place and we did it.”

“How was it?” Yujin asked excitedly.

“Honestly?” Wonyoung said while trying to think about how honest she wanted to be. Finally, she said, “He has about 50% of the dick as his dad with maybe 25% of his skills.”

“Oh,” Yujin said disappointed.

“Don’t get it wrong, when I say 50% Sungho isn’t small or tiny. His dad’s just really hung.”

Wonyoung gave a few more details about her sex with Sungho and his dad. It was then time for the three of them to get back on set. As they worked the three idols checked out the 6’2” guy in jeans, a hat, and a scruffy beard standing off to the side of the set. As they looked over at him, both Gaeul and Yujin had to admit to themselves that he was a handsome guy in good shape. Neither could believe he was old enough to be someone’s dad.

It was a few days later while Yujin was at the craft services table looking for a snack when Gaeul moved up close to her and said, “Wonyoung was right about Sungho’s dad.”

“What?” Yujin said in shock. “You had sex with him?”

“No,” Gaeul said while looking around to see if anyone had overheard Yujin. “No, we didn’t have sex. Not yet anyway. But I did give him a blow job during lunch break today. And she was right. He’s hung and he cum in bucket loads.”

“Oh. So are you going to…”

“See if he is as good in bed as Wonyoung claims?” Gaeul finished Yujin’s question. “Yes. I invited him over tonight. Don’t tell Wonyoung.”

“My lips are sealed,” she told her friend.

The next morning Gaeul once again informed Yujin that Wonyoung was being accurate in everything she said. Telling her that if she had not stopped him they probably could have gone all night and that even though it had been hours since he was last inside of her, she could still practically feel his cock inside of her.

As Gaeul gushed about the details of her night, Yujin was starting to feel a ping of jealousy build in her. Yujin was used to being the hot one on the show. The one who internet perverts and men in real life tended to drool over.

It wasn’t until three days later that Yujin made her approach, seeing him standing alone, on his phone, standing beside the craft services table. She walked over to the tape and got herself a bottle of water, and then took several steps toward him.

“I heard a rumor that you’re Sungho’s dad,” she said as an icebreaker.

“You heard correctly,” he looked up to see her standing before him. “I’m Minho.”

“Yujin.”

“Yeah, I’m aware,” he said with a chuckle.

“So, I have to ask, how are you his dad? You look like his older brother.”

“I knocked up his mother the summer before my senior year of high school.”

“That’s young,” Yujin said as she began doing the math in her head of how old he was, and realized he must have only been around 36. “Was she your high school sweetheart or something?”

“Not exactly. More, like my best friend’s older sister.”

“Wow, that’s a twist. There has to be a story there.”

“There is,” Minho replied.

“I would love to hear it,” she told him. Minho hesitated for a little bit, and then the two walked over to a corner and he began telling her his story. How during the summer before high school, he had gone to his friend’s house after a party and after putting his drunk friend to bed he ended up watching TV with his friend’s sister who was home after her sophomore year of college. The two ended up hooking up on the couch that night.

Then a week later when his friend and his parents went on a road trip to tour colleges, Minho and his friend’s sister spent most of the week having sex. The result was her accidentally becoming pregnant with Sungho, and the two of them reluctantly got married after he graduated high school.

Yujin asked if he had married the first woman he had ever slept with. Minho corrected her and told her how he had lost his virginity the night of his school’s junior prom. Once they were married, they had remained faithful for a while, or at least so he thought.

The two were never a good match for one another, but they faked it for Sungho. The only exception was in the bedroom, in there was the one place where they got along. And since they were both so young and didn’t have the most experience outside of each other, they experimented and tried a lot of new things in the early years.

It was 10 years into the marriage that he found out that his wife had been having an affair with someone in her office. He had been having suspicions for a while, but he didn’t have it confirmed until he saw them kissing in a back hallway during a company party. Minho had been faithful since they got married up until that night.

When they got home, Minho volunteered to drive their babysitter back to her college dorm. In the car, he began to vent about his wife to the 18-year-old college girl, and then the next thing he knew he was parked on the top level of one of the campus garages with his babysitter in his lap, riding his cock. It was two whole days before he broke his wedding vows again, and a week before he broke them with another different woman. This time it was with his babysitter’s friend who sometimes filled in for her babysitting for him.

It was not long after that, while staying together for Sungho, they were just openly sleeping with other people. There was no animosity towards each other, they were just more like friendly roommates (who still occasionally fucked) trying to raise a kid. They did not get a divorce until two years later when his wife and her mom came home early from a spa day and found Minho having a threesome with the babysitter and her roommate.

After that, the cat was out of the bag and they saw no more reason to pretend. After the divorce, Minho would alternate spending weekends at his new place taking care of Sungho, and other weekends often sleeping over at a sorority house living out the college fantasies he never got to experience after high school.

“Sounds like you have a problem with college-age girls,” Yujin said after she had dug pretty deep into questions about Minho’s sexual past and found that many of his stories.

“I wouldn’t say I have a problem at all. If anything, I’d say I have a real talent for bedding women” he replied somewhat proudly.

“I meant more like you’re drawn to them.”

“I am sure a doctor would say that there is some deep-rooted reason with me feeling like I skipped over those years by having a kid and getting married, so now stuck perpetually making up for those lost years,” Minho said. He then leaned over toward Yujin and asked, “But you know what I think?”

“What’s that?” she asked intrigued by where this conversion was going.

“I think I am just a guy who likes sex and enjoy having sex with hot women.”

“Like Wonyoung and Gaeul?” Yujin asked, implying that she knew about their hookups for the first time.

“Yup, exactly,” he said, not missing a beat. He was not surprised at all that Yujin knew about him bedding her teammates. He was anticipating that she would.

“You know, most people think you’re on set to keep an eye on Sungho and to help him. I wonder what people would say if they knew you seem to be here to bed the idols,” Yujin said daringly.

“I can do both those things at the same time, I’m quite good at multitasking. Though maybe we should keep the second part of that to ourselves,” he told her. The tension and flirtatiousness between the two had been building for some time. It was not unexpected for Minho. One thing he had learned in all those nights at the sorority house was, if you wanted to hook up with the top girl in a women's friend group, the best strategy isn’t always to go right for her.

After a few days on set, Minho could see that Yujin walked around the set with a sense of entitlement and acted like she was the queen bee. He had not planned to sleep with Wonyoung that first night, but after getting with Wonyoung and then also Gaeul, he knew it was just a matter of time before Yujin started circling him. So, when she came up to him today, he was not surprised. What did surprise him was the next question that came out of her mouth.

“Have you ever done anal?” Yujin asked very frankly.

“What?” Minho asked, taken aback by her question.

“Have you ever had anal sex with a woman?”

“Yes, I have. A number of times. Why?”

“My boyfriend wants us to try it,” she told him. “We’ve done just about everything else, but neither of us has ever done that.”

Minho wasn’t sure if he truly believed her. Not about her and her boyfriend having never done it, but that Yujin was still an anal virgin. He’d always been pretty good about reading people and his gut told him that the idol had already done a wider variety of sexual things in her life. Still, he kept playing along. “And you’re nervous about trying in it.”

“What? No.” she retorted, “I just don’t want it to be bad. My experience has been if at least one person knows what they are doing, the sex is SO much better compared to when neither knows.”

“So…”

“So, I want you to teach me?”

“Anal?”

“Yes.”

“You want me to teach you how to have anal sex?” he asked once more for clarity.

“Yes.”

“I flattered, Yujin, I am. But I’m not sure how to teach something like that. In my experience, the best way to learn something like that is by doing it.”

“The same for me,” she said suggestively.

With that, Minho got the clarity he had been looking for. He pretended as though he was still contemplating what she was asking of him, but he already knew he was going to say yes. After a bit more back and forth, he thought he might see what else she might have to offer. “So, I do you this favor and teach you about anal so you can perform for your boyfriend. What do I get in return for doing you a favor?”

“You’re getting a night where you get to direct me around and have me do what you want, and you get to live knowing you took my anal cherry, and you want more?” Minho quickly back peddled and agreed to help the idol out by becoming her teacher. “Just one more thing,” she added.

“What’s that?”

“How do I know what Wonyoung and Gaeul have said about you is true? You could have put them up to it. Have them tell me stories.”

“To trick you into bed with me?” Minho asked.

“Something like that. You wouldn’t believe some of the things people have told me they’d do just to have me touch them.”

“So, you want proof?” he asked. Yujin looked him in the eye and shrugged, her eyes then darted down to his crotch and he saw the idol’s tongue quickly swipe across her lips. Minho looked down, and while he knew he was not fully hard, there was a definite bulge in his pants. Looking back up at Yujin, he told her, “I’m not going to pull it out right here right now, but I can get you some proof.

Minho reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. He tapped on his phone and asked Yujin for her phone number. He tapped on the screen a few more times, and then a message notification went off on Yujin’s phone. She took out her phone and opened the messages. Her eyes went wide as she looked at them. The first picture was looking down at the body of a naked man with a naked Gaeul sitting on his legs and a large naked cock sticking straight up and pressed against her stomach. The second picture was of an open-mouthed smiling Wonyoung, with her tongue sticking out. She looked to kneeling on the floor looking up at the camera. Next to her face appeared to be the same hard cock as the first photo. Her chin was down at his balls and the tip of his cock was up by her forehead.

“Proof enough?”

“It’ll do for now,” she told him. She then clicked around her phone and when she was done, Minho’s phone chimed with a new notification. “Just so we’re even,” she told him.

Minho checked his phone and he had received a picture. It was a bathroom mirror picture of a woman. Her head was cut off, but in one hand was her phone and the other hand covered her naked breasts. Moving down her body, she did not have anything else on, but she positioned herself so the countertop cut off right where her slit would begin. She was completely shaven.

The two agreed to meet later that night as Sungho was going to be filming some night scenes for another member. She agreed to come over to his place at 9 PM. After they left each other, both were pretty worked up. The flirtation had gone pretty high, and the photos they shared had both of them ready to tear at each other’s clothes. Minho considered texting Wonyoung or Gaeul to see if either wanted to meet for a quickie, but decided to save the load for later that night. Yujin on the other hand went back to her dorm and fingered herself to a big gushy orgasm. For the rest of the day, the two tried to be discreet as they checked out each other from across the room. When they wrapped on the day, Minho stopped by a store on his way home to pick up a few things for the night.

It was a little past nine at night when there was a knock on Minho’s door. He answers barefoot wearing a t-shirt and jeans.

“Hi, old man,” Yujin said with a seductive smile and then stepped into the house. Once she was in and he shut the door, she spun around, “Or should I call you a professor? Since you’re going to be teaching me tonight.”

“Just Minho is fine,” he told her.

“We’ll see about that.” Minho, not sure how comfortable she’d be with him taking her right to his bedroom, led her to the living room.

“You look pretty comfortable tonight,” he commented regarding her outfit. She had on a cotton belly shirt and matching cotton shorts under an oversized button-up shirt, long white socks, and white sneakers.

“I thought about dressing up, but then I figured I might as well wear something that comes off easily since I probably won’t have it on for long.”

“Just how easily does it come off,” he flirted.

“See you are a dirty old man.”

“I’m not that old.”

“Old enough to have a son about my age.”

“True, but I’m still young enough that I have a libido that rivals most teenagers,” he said as he took a seat on his couch right in front of Yujin.

“We’ll see about that,” she said as she stepped up to him and stood over his legs.

“Feel free to start testing out my claims whenever you want.”

“I would, but I’m here so you can teach me about anal. So, I think you’re supposed to tell me how the lesson is meant to begin.”

“In that case, lose the shirt and come here,” he said patting his lap. Yujin quickly threw off her button-down shirt and in one motion she got on the couch, straddled his lap, and pressed her lips against his. The two of them spent the next few minutes with their mouths locked together and their tongues intertwined. As they continued making out, Yujin began wiggling and moving around in his lap. He was getting ready to break off the kiss and ask her what she was doing until Yujin finally found the spot she was looking for. Instead of straddling his lap, she now straddled one of his legs, and her crotch was pressed right down on top of his hard cock encased in his pant leg. She was now grinding her crotch right against his hard shaft. Even through his pants and her shorts, he could still feel the heat radiating from between her legs.

“How many guys have you made cream their short,” Minho asked after a few more minutes of dry humping.

“A lady never tells,” she said with a blushing smile that let him know that the real answer is probably a decent amount.

“That's why you like guys with experience?”

“It’s nice being with someone with a little extra stamina and know won’t let a load go to waste in their pants.”

“Okay. Wanna know what else is nice?”

“What?”

“If you had taken off both your shirts earlier.” Yujin smiled and quickly pulled her tank top off, exposing he braless breasts. Minho sat back and took in the sight of her breasts, taking a series of mental pictures to memorize before wrapping his arms around her back and pulling her towards him. He then began kissing, licking, and sucking on her tits. Yujin was enjoying the attention being paid to her breasts, so much so that she didn’t realize he was pushing his hand into her shorts until she felt him push a finger into her.

“You seem to be enjoying this,” he said as he pulled his hand out from her shorts and showed off how wet his fingers were. She didn’t answer his question. She just took his hand into hers and brought it to her mouth so that she could suck his finger clean. “Maybe we should take this to the bedroom?”

“That sounds good,” Yujin told her. She got off his lap but she stood close enough that Minho could not stand up right away. She then pushed her shorts down and stood in front of him in only a pair of socks. It was only once she was naked that she then took a step back and gave Minho the room to stand up. His eyes immediately went to her glistening wet pussy that was totally devoid of any hair. “Lead the way,” she told him once he was on his feet.

He led her to the bedroom and Yujin immediately jumped onto the bed when they got in the room. She sat up on her knees with her legs spread apart. She then beckoned him over to join her on the bed.

“Not yet,” he told her. He pulled off his show and then he picked up a shopping bag off his dresser. “I picked up a few things for you on the way home.”

He handed her the bag, and she pulled the items out one by one. First was a box of condoms, then a bottle of lube, the next two items were packages of the morning-after pill, and the last item was a chrome buttplug with a heart-shaped red jewel at the end.

“Is this what I think it is?”

“If you think it’s a toy that is made to go in your butt, then yes.”

“I thought we were going to have anal sex?”

“We are, but that is going to help stretch you out a bit.”

“Okay.”

“But first, we’re going to have to get your body to relax so I can put it in.”

“And how do you suppose we do that?”

“You’re going to layback and I am going to show you what it is like to have your pussy licked by a man who knows what he is doing.”

“You think you're better at eating pussy than most guys? That’s a bold statement.”

“I think you’re used to guys licking you just enough to advance things to get to sex. You’ve never had a guy eat you out simply because he wants to eat you out?”

“What’s the difference?”

“If you’d stop asking questions, you’ll have your answer within the next five minutes.”

“You seem pretty sure of yourself,” Yujin said as she moved to lay on her back on the bed. Propping her head up with pillows so she could look down at her naked body. She watched as he got down between her legs, lifting each over his shoulders and wrapping his arm around her thighs. He gave her one last look and gave her a wink before diving between her legs. Yujin rolled her eyes in response. Five minutes later, Yujin’s eyes were rolling again, but this time they were rolling back while her leg was also up in the air twitching.

“OH MY, FUCK, YES!!” Yujin yelled out as her pussy spasmed. Minho happily licked up the juices from her squirting pussy as her juices soaked his face.

“Wow,” Yujin said as her orgasm subsided. “If that’s how they eat pussy, maybe I should only boof older guys from now on.”

“I can’t promise you all older guys are that good.” He let her take a few more breaths before asking her “Ready to go again?”

“Again? Really?” Yujin asked. The excitement in her voice was all he needed to hear. He didn’t even bother with an audible response. Instead, he just wrapped his lips around her clit and began to suck. Yujin was once again putty in his hands, which is exactly what he was hoping for. He wanted her relaxed and distracted. Her focus was on his tongue and lips, and while they worked her folds, his hands were busy popping the lid off of the lube bottle and smearing the gel all over the buttplug that was in his other hand. All the anticipation seemed to have played a factor in how quickly Yujin came that first time, as Minho was having to work handed this next round of oral to get her right where she wanted him. He even had to put the plug down to that he could use his fingers to rub her g-spot as his mouth worked her clit. When she began moaning that she was close and telling him not to stop, Minho grabbed her hips and lifted her so her ass and lower back were off the bed as he sat up and kept her hairless pussy up to his mouth. He kept eating her out and waited until once again she had another orgasm. He drank up her juices until he felt her body go mostly limp after climaxing. As soon as her body felt like it relaxed, he quickly pushed the buttplug into her. Yujin was taken so off guard that she didn’t react until her ass had been penetrated by the toy. She let out a gasp as she felt the toy invade her body.

“You fucker,” Yujin scolded him. “Give me a little warning.”

“If I did that, you would have gotten in your head and you would have clenched up.” That reasoning did make some sense. “You asked me to give you a lesson on anal,” He reminded the idol.

“True, but still,” she said as she reached back and rubbed her ass. Being careful when her fingers touched the end of the toy. Minho suggested that she take a look at it in the mirror. Yujin got off the bed and stood in front of a large full-length mirror. She turned her back to the mirror and bent over. She looked at the chrome toy protruding from her ass. She reached back and touched the toy, she then gave it a slight tug, and then twisted it around.

“How does it feel?” Minho asked as he admired Yujin admiring her own ass.

“Weird,” she told him.

“Weird as in good or bad?”

“I don’t know. Just weird.”

“Does it hurt?”

“No.”

“Alright, well come back over here and just get used to the feeling. I’ll help you take your mind off of it while you adjust to it.” Yujin moved quickly to get back into the bed. She could not believe that a man was willing to go down on her three times in a row before even exposing his cock to her, but she was not complaining. Minho even would have done it a fourth time, he was enjoying himself so much making the idol’s body tremble in orgasm after orgasm, but when he attempted to go for it a fourth time she had to stop him. Her clit was too sensitive at the moment and could not take the feeling of getting touched again. With her too sensitive for him to orally please her, he decided it was finally time for him to remove his clothes. He got off the bed and stood at the foot of it.

“It’s about time,” Yujin said as she saw his hand move to undo the button on his jeans. She scurried around so that she lay on her stomach on the bed with her face by the end of the bed. She eagerly looked on as Minho continued removing his pants just a foot away from her face. Yujin’s eyes went wide and her mouth opened in a wide smile as she dropped his pants and his hard cock sprang free.

“Oh my,” she said as she reached out and touched his cock, “It’s even nicer than it looked in the pictures.” She rubbed her hands up and down his cock before taking hold of it. “You have a great-looking cock,” she told him.

“Thank you.”

“I knew you’d be bigger and thicker than my boyfriend, but I don’t know how but it’s also prettier than his.”

“You’re not the first to tell me that I have a pretty dick,” he told her confidently. “I am also told it tastes really good too,” he said as he while taking a step forward. Yujin looked up at him with a happy smile and licked her lips. When her eyes left his, they refocused on the cock in front of her and she moved forward with an open mouth. She took two inches into her mouth before closing her mouth tightly around it and then slowly dragged her lips back until only the tip remained in her mouth, giving it a hard suck. She worked her tongue around the tip for a bit, and then popped his cock free of her mouth. She then worked her tongue up and down the shaft, getting it nice and slick for her hands to later use when she pumped her shaft and her mouth worked the top half of his dick.

Minho appreciated Yujin’s oral work on his rigid member. While it felt good, it felt a little like she was holding back. She was working his cock with her mouth for her own enjoyment rather than wanting him to get off. He also noticed when she moved her one hand that was off of his shaft down her body and between her legs. Her mouth and tongue worked his manhood with a building urgency the longer she played with herself as she blew him. He was finally really starting to feel some pressure building in his balls when the idol’s still clad only in socks, pulled his dick from her mouth.

“I can’t wait, I need you inside me,” she announced as she spun around on the edge of the bed. “I’ll make it up to you later,” she said referring to giving him a blowjob, “I just can’t wait anymore.”

Minho hardly moved before Yujin had spun around with her pussy right at the edge of the bed. She even spread and lifted her legs in the air, her arms grabbing behind each knee to make sure they stayed up and spread. Minho thought about teasing her, rubbing his cock along her wet fold and bumping against her clit until the young idol was shaking in anticipation. However, she looked so good like that waiting for him that he could not control himself much either. So, he just stepped into position and pushed his cock forward He had a little resistance before Yujin hairless cunt finally split open for him and his cock began sliding in.

“Oh wow, that’s a fat cock,” Yujin moaned.

“Wait till you feel the full length.”

“Bring it old man,” she dared him. “Fuck me.”

Minho had watched her enough around set that on the outside Yujin had a sweet yet entitled personality, but he always knew that underneath it all was very sexual and thirsty girl. He was glad to see that that side of her was now on full display as he pushed his cock inside of her. While she was tight, she was also so wet that he did not have too much difficulty bottoming her cunt. He started off slowly, but Yujin let it be known that she wasn’t into that. He started thrusting harder and faster, which got her moans going louder. She let go of the back of her leg and instead move them up onto his shoulders and crossing her feet behind his neck. Her hands now went to her breasts and squeezed them as she continued to encourage Minho to hammer her with his cock.

“So good. You have such a good cock.”

“Better than your boyfriend’s?” He asked wanting to see if she would actually answer.

“So much better,” she answered.

“Better than whoever it is you are secretly fucking?” he didn’t know for certain that she actually was hooking up with anyone else, but based his interactions with her today he felt pretty good about it.

“Yes. Fuck. From now on you’re my go-to dick.”

“I like the sound of that,” he said as he picked up the tempo of their fucking even more.

“We’ll see. I am going to drain you old man,” she told him. At first Minho really despised her calling him and old man. He wasn’t even that old. Though as she kept calling him it as they did more and more sexual things, he was starting to get into her calling him that.

Based on how desperate she was for him to stick his dick inside of her, Minho had no doubt that she would orgasm before he would. And was proven correct. Yujin grabbed hold of the mattress as she squirted and her legs trembled. As she climaxed, Minho slowed down to long slow strokes inside of her, but it felt so good to have sex with the starlette that his body refused to let him stop moving completely.

“Let me get on top,” Yujin finally told him as she came out of her post orgasmic fog. Minho pulled out and got on the bed. He had barely had his ass hit the mattress before Yujin was climbing on top of him. “So big,” she moaned as she sank down on his hard dick.

As she began riding his dick, Minho reached up and started playing with her bouncing beasts. While still perky, they did have a considerable amount of shake to them as she bounced on his cock. After a few minutes Yujin leaned forward, so she and Minho were face-to-face and her tits were pressed against his chest. She gave him a kiss as she continued to rotate and grind her hips along his cock.

“It’s a shame you wasted so much time. First by not making any move and then spending weeks with Wonyoung and Gaeul instead of me,” she told him between kisses

“Jealous?” he asked.

“No, I’m mad.”

“Mad?”

“Yes mad. You’ve been walking around set with your great cock for months, and then when you finally do you it you waste it on them?”

“I wouldn’t saying wasting it,”

“We could have been having phenomenal sex for months now if I knew what you were hiding in your pants. And just admit it, I’m better in bed then them,” she spoke to him while looking directly into his eyes.

“I admit nothing,” he responded playfully.

“We’ll see about that,” she told him before giving him a deep passionate kiss. After the kiss she sat up and took her ability at riding his cock up another level. In his head he did admit that she was better than her friends, but seeing how competitive she was being about it, that was something he would never confess audibly to her.

“Get on all fours, I want to see that ass of yours before I wreck it,” Minho told her after a some more time with her on top had passed.

“Promises, promises,” Yujin mused as she dismounted his cock and got into position. She got on her hand and knees and he moved behind her. He gave her full ass a slap before grabbing her hips and trusted back into her. Pulling her cheeks apart, he could see the toy he had lodged inside of her. As he did her from behind, her took the end of her plug and twirled it around inside of her ass. While it felt a little strange having the toy in her ass be moved around, she did not mind the feeling at all, though that feeling didn’t compare to the feeling of Minho’s dick working her pussy. While he was doing her from behind, he was angling his thrust at a slightly downward motion causing his cock to brush against her g-spot with each thrust. The two of them kept going for as long as they could. They were near the end and it was a race to see who would finish first. Yujin ends up having her climax first but between the feeling of her pussy walls contracting and the sounds of her loud moans was enough to make Minho right at the brink.

Minho let go, a small grunt escaped his lips as his cock began erupting into the teenage idol. Yujin moaned as she felt him shoot his cum inside of hers. He did not put his whole load in her, he pulled out about halfway through and shot the remaining cum her had around her ass.

“Why did you pull out?” Yujin asked with disappointment in her voice when he finished.

“I had my reason. Why? Are you disappointed?”

“Yes. I wanted you to fill me to the point that your cum is overflowing out of me,” she told him. As she did, Minho could see her moving her hand down her body and begin rubbing her freshly fucked pussy.

“Maybe next time,” he told her. He then reached for the present he bought Yujin, and without warning he extracted it from her ass. He then began to use the buttplug to wipe the cum he had strayed onto her ass and began wiping it around her hole.

“Is it the time?”

“It seems like a good a time as any.”

Yujin was filled with nervous and excitement. Minho had her get the condoms and lube. Yujin then bent down and gave a few long hard sucks on his cock, making sure he was fully hard before putting on the condom, using both hands to roll the latex down his full length. Minho then had her to apply a generous amount of lube to his condom-encased manhood. He had her get at on all fours and had her look straight forward at a full-length mirror across from the bed. When she was in position he squirted some lube onto the entrance of her back door. He then used his cock head to smear the lube around. She was a little jumpy when she felt the tip of his cock brush against her back entrance.

“Just relax he told her,” and he reached under her and began fingering her. He watched as she closed her eyes and moaned. “Just concentrate on my fingers,” he told her. She was doing just that and he could feel her getting wetter. Once he could tell she was relaxed and not paying attention her gave a quick thrust, moving before she could react.

Yujin let out a squeal, surprised that her ass had just been invaded by the tip of Minho’s cock. Her ass immediately tightened around the head of his dick. He got her to relax and slowly pushed more of cock into her.

“Fuck you’re big,” she moaned.

“Just relax and it will start to feel good soon.”

“Easy for you to say, you not the one being split in half by a massive cock.” It took a little bit of time for Minho to get his full length into the Idol’s ass, but Yujin refused to quit until she had the full thing wedged inside of her. Once it was fully in, he let her sit with it inside her, letting her adjust to the feeling for a minute. He then began making small slow thrusts. Minho watched her face through the mirror, he saw how slowly the grimace on her face began to dissipate until finally, he heard a pleasurable moan.

“It starting to feel good?”

“Yes,” She answered, “Ohh, I like it.”

“You ready to take it up a notch?”

“Give me everything you got, old man,” she dared him. He didn’t think she knew what she was asking for, so while he started making longer faster strokes he was still holding back. It did not take long for Yujin to figure out that he was holding back. “Come on, harder.”

“You sure about that?”

“Either give me a real fucking or I’ll find someone else who can,” she told him as she looked him in the eyes through the mirror. With that, Minho slowly up to his tip and then slammed his full length into her ass. Yujin’s legs kicked up and her mouth went wide but no sound came out. From that moment on he gave it to her like an anal veteran and to her credit and to Minho’s surprise Yujin took it like a champ. Even when he gave her a few spanks, those were only met with grunts and moans of pleasure. With the way she moaned and the way her eyes appeared to roll back, Minho thought Yujin might have even had a small orgasm.

“OH GOD GIVE IT TO ME!” Yujin cried out.

“Yeah, you like my cock in your ass? You like having your ass fucked?”

“YES! So good! Soooo much better than I thought!” Yujin said as she dropped down to her elbows and began thrusting her ass back into my dick. She then asked, “Have you done this with Wonyoung or Gaeul?”

“Not yet,” he told her truthfully.

“Don’t bother, those batches can’t take it like I can. If you want an ass on set just come find me,” she told him.

“You have a very high opinion of yourself,” he commented.

“If I’m wrong, then tell me,” she told him. He didn’t say anything, he only gave her ass another smack in response. “That’s what I thought.”

Minho told her that he wanted to show her another position before he finished. They both let out their own groans of disappointment as he pulled off his cock from her ass. He then got off the bed and told her to roll over onto her back. Once she had done that, he grabbed one of her ankles and pulled her over to the edge of the bed. He pulled her so far that the majority of her ass was mostly hanging over the edge. Still, with her ankle in his hand, he lifted her leg up and held it out to the side. He then took his cock in and buried it back into Yujin’s ass, much to her delight. Using his other hand, he took her other leg and lifted it and spread it wide. Yujin was now on her back with her legs raised and spread eagle on the bed. Her body was on full display for Minho as he slammed his hips into her repeatedly. After a little bit, Yujin’s hand moved down her body and she began playing with her pussy as she got her ass fucked.

“This is amazing,” the idol loudly moaned.

“Starting to feel good now?”

“Yes!”

“Tell me what do you like better, having something in your ass, or do you just like my dick that much?” Minho said with brazen arrogance.

“Fuck, I can’t tell,” Yujin said as she fingered pussy.

“I guess we’ll find out after you show your boyfriend what you’ve learned,” he said. “Though I’m not sure he’ll believe you when you tell him he’s your first.”

“Why’s that? You plan on stretching me out that much?” Yujin flirted right back at the older man she had inside her ass.

“Put it this way, you might let him use it from time to time, but your…ass…will…forever…belong..to...me,” he informed her, slamming her hard on each of his last seven words.

“Yeah, old man? Is that…is that…ooooooohhhhhhh wowww,” the Damsel actress had her own words interrupted by her body as she climaxed once again. Soaking her hand as she stopped playing with herself. Minho smiled at the fact that the 20-year-old came with a thick cock buried in her ass. As he continued to work his mind was brought back to a moment where Yujin was having a bit of a diva moment on set, and he overheard one of the staff quietly say to other “How big is the stick up that girl’s ass, do you think?” If only those two could see her down.

He did end up letting go of her legs, which Yujin put one up on his shoulder and the other she wrapped behind his ass. He then bent down to kiss the idol, before moving his now free hands to her breast to play with. As they kept going, he thought about seeing if she wanted to try anal cowgirl, but he didn’t have a ton left in him and thought he’d hold off on that until the next round.

“Almost there,” Minho groaned as he continued to pummel her ass. He could feel the cum beginning to bubble up from his ass. It was only a matter of time now.

“Oh, yes. Then give it to me,” Yujin moaned.

“Yeah? You want it?”

“Yes give it to me.”

“Oh, I’ll give it to you,” he told her. Minho then pulled his cock out from her idol’s backdoor, yanked off the condom, and dove his full cock back into her wanting pussy. He then stopped holding back and injected her with his sizable load. It was unclear if it was him stuffing her pussy with his dick or the feeling of him filling her with his jizz that made Yujin orgasm once again, but regardless she let out an orgasmic cry and the body shock as he shot blast after blast of cum inside of her. He did not pull out until his cock had deflated a bit.

“You came inside me,” she said as she rubbed the reddened cunt. Pulling her hand away she saw her fingers were sticky with his cum on them. “You came a lot inside of me.”

“That is what you wanted?”

“Yeah, I did. I love that feeling when a guy does it. Ugghh, wow, and you came so much,” she said as she felt his cum leaking out of her.

“If you liked it that much, I’d happily do it a few more times tonight.”

“I’m sure you would you dirty old man,” Yujin said cheekily. She then asked, “What time is it?”

“A little after one,” he informed her.

“I need to get going.”

“Really? Tapping out already?”

“I should, but tonight was amazing. I can’t believe I took your whole cock in my ass. Hajoon’s going to be in for a surprise later this week.”

“Happy to help,” he said, “and if you need a refresher course before he arrives just let me know. I’d love to be of assistance.”

“How selfless of you,” the idol said sarcastically. “Do you mind if I shower before heading home?”

“Only if I can assist.”

“I knew you were going to say that,” Yujin said as she got up from the bed. “Just no sex, or else I might never leave.”

“As far as deterrents go, that’s not much of one,” Minho joked as he led Yujin to his bathroom. He turned on the shower and as Yujin tried pushing some of the cum out off her pussy, Minho went back into the bedroom for a moment and then went back into the bathroom and joined the idol in the shower. He grabbed his loofa, poured some body wash on it, and began washing Yujin. Starting with her shoulders he then moved down and began washing as well as just flat-out playing with her breasts, before taking a knee and washing her legs. He then handed the loofa over to Yujin and she washed him. First his back, then his chest, and then down to between his legs. At one point she stopped pretending with the loofah and just used both her hands to stroke his cock.

“So big,” she said softly with her eyes fixated on his erection. She then looked up at him in the eyes, and told him, “Your cock is truly lovely to look at.”

“Thank you. Your body is quite the sight to behold as well.”

He then told her to turn around. He stepped out of the shower for a moment, before getting back in behind her and taking the loofah, and reapplying more soap to it. He made no effort to keep his erection away from her. Instead, he intently pushed it against her as he reached around her body. He then began to wash her back, eventually moving down to her ass.

“Put your hands against the wall and bend over,” he told her. Yujin looked back at him and gave him a look. He reassured her, “I’m not going to fuck you, I promise.”

He then proceeded to wash her ass in-depth, reaching under her and washing her pussy. He spread her cheeks and dripped some body wash from the bottle down onto her rectum.

“I will tell you, if you really do want to make sure you are ready to surprise your boyfriend, you really should keep wearing this,” he said. He then picked up the buttplug he had snuck into the shower and pressed it against her ass. Yujin gasped as she felt it enter her. It did fit inside her much easier now than it did the first time he put it inside of her. She also enjoyed the feeling of having it inside of her much more. With the plug in and her still bent over, Minho reached under her ass and stuck two fingers and her tight warm cunt. As he fingered her, she leaned over her and said into her ear. “I promised I wouldn’t stick my cock in you, but didn’t say anything about my fingers.”

“So true,” Yujin said before turning her face and kissing him. “Finger my pussy, old man.”

“You like older guys don’t you?” he questioned her.

“Not especially, I just like guys who know what they're doing,” she confessed.

“Well, I do know a trick or two.”

“Yes, you do.” Minho then spun Yujin around so they were facing each other and the two made out while he finger-blasted her against the glass of the shower stall. He hooked his fingers and rubbed her g-spot while his palm brushed against her clit. Yujin also made use of her hands, reaching down and stroking his cock. The two were in a race to see who could use their hands to get the other off the fastest. Minho had a head start so he was able to get Yujin to cream all over his hand first. After her orgasm subsided, she pushed Minho backward, giving her the room to comfortably sink to her knees on the shower floor.

“I bet you’re just like every other guy out there and want to climax all over my face,” she said to him as she began using both hands to stroke his cock.

“Yeah, I am.”

“Then do it,” she told him. She looked up and maintained eye contact with him as she frantically jerked him off. Her eyes never left his as she worked his cock. Even when he said he was about to cum, she aimed his cock head directly at her face and kept her eyes open until she felt his first blast hit her on the mouth and nose. As he kept cumming, she could not help but smile as she felt it rain down her face. When she finally stopped feeling his cum, she opened one eye and then moved in and sucked the tip clean of any remaining cum. Minho just stood there and admired the pretty actress's face as it was covered in his spunk.

“How do I look?”

“All those guys who said wished they could give you a facial don’t know what they are missing out on. It’s quite a beautiful sight.” Yujin smiled broadly at his compliment. She licked off some of the cum that had landed on her mouth, and let him admire her face for a little while before she cleaned her face off under the spray of the shower. They each give themselves one last rinse off before turning off the water. Getting out of the shower they toweled off and wrapped themselves up. He kept an eye on her as she dried off and noticed that the idol never made a move to remove the plug in her ass. He then moved back to the bedroom with Yujin following a minute or so later.

“Are you sure you need to leave,” Minho asked as he sat down on the edge of the bed with her throbbing erection at full mass between his legs. Yujin looked down at his hard-on and instinctively licked her lips as she looked at it.

“The girls were right, that thing doesn’t quit, does it?” she said referring to his cock.

“You complaining about that?”

“Hardly. But, I do need to go. I need to get some rest before filming tomorrow,” she said. But then she undid her towel and let it fall to the floor. “But I suppose it would be cruel of me to walk out on you in that state.

Yujin then dropped to her knees and took his cock into her mouth. She began sucking on her tip and then brought her lips down along the side. “So, tell me,” she asked between slurps “Do you feel bad about sleeping with girls my age? Especially since Wonyoung and me are closer to your son age than yours.”

“I’m fine with it. I felt a little bad when I slept with his prom date during his graduation party.” He admitted. Yujin nearly choked on his cock in surprise when that happened.

“You what?” she asked.

“You heard right.”

“There must be a story there,” Yujin said as she stroked his cock.

“Her older sister was one of his former babysitters, one of the ones I frequently hooked up with, and the older sister told the younger sister about our adventures. So, the younger sister asked my son to prom, and after a disappointing prom night, she cornered me during his graduation party a few weeks later and demanded I give her what her sister had bragged to her about so many times before. So I did. And then I did again a few more times before we moved out to LA.”

“You are so bad,” Yujin said to him, and before bringing her lips back to his cock she added, “and I don’t believe you feel bad about doing her at all.”

“I did feel a little bad afterward doing that behind his back. But the sex itself did feel pretty good in the moment,” he admitted.

“Better than me?” She asked.

“You can’t let anyone win, can you?”

“Nope,” she said before sinking several inches of dick into her mouth. He let the actress suck his cock uninterrupted for several minutes before he spoke up again.

“Let me ask you, do you feel bad about cheating on your boyfriend with me?”

“This wasn’t cheating,” she said matter-of-factly.

“What we did tonight wasn’t cheating?” he questioned her.

“Nope. You were teaching me about anal so I could do it with my boyfriend this week. This was a learning exercise.”

“Okay, sure,” Minho could not help but chuckle at her reasoning.

“When we fuck again next weekend, that will be cheating.”

“Next week?”

“Yeah, my boyfriend leaves on Friday. My manager mentioned how he was leaving Thursday night to go visit his mom, so that means we have a few days where no one is going to be looking for us and checking in on us. So, what better way to spend it than in bed having an obscene about of sex?”

“Are you sure you can handle all that?” he asked her with cocky confidence. “I mean were stopping after only two rounds tonight.”

“That’s because tonight I was just testing you. Seeing if you lived up to the hype. You obviously passed,” she said and then stuck out her tongue and slapped his cock against it. “Next weekend I’ll show you what I can do. After next weekend you’ll be saying I’m the best you’ve ever had.”

“Oh really? So you’ve been holding back this entire time?”

“Yes. Probably 50% effort,” she told him.

“Yeah right, I highly doubt that.” Yujin simply smiled in response and then suddenly she took a majority of his cock into her mouth and did so with a casualty that showed she had been holding back a bit. She deepthroated him for a minute before pulling back and leaving just an inch or so in her mouth. She continued to work his cock, but now the way she moved her hands along his shaft and the way her tongue worked the underside of his dick showed that she had been holding back and she was much more skilled than she had previously shown. She was also now not stopping to talk or make any chit-chat. She was showing a determination to show the older man that the she was better than other more experienced women he had been with. It only took a few minutes until he blew his load down her mouth, and despite the amount, she was able to swallow it all.

“See, and that was just the tip of the iceberg,” Yujin bragged as she stood up and began picking up her discarded clothing. “If I were you, I would take it easy this week. You’re going to need all the energy you can store for next weekend.”

“Sounds good,” he said as he watched her naked body walk around the room. “I’ll see you next weekend,”

With her clothes tucked under her arm, Yujin said “See you around the set tomorrow,” before blowing him a kiss and strutting naked out of his bedroom.

It was two days later that Minho would see Yujin walking with her boyfriend, Hajoon, around the set. Yujin blushed a little when she caught eyes with Minho from across the room. When Minho saw Hajoon walk away, he quietly maneuvered himself around the stage until he was standing next to Yujin.

“So, have you given your boyfriend his gift yet?” Minho quietly asked discreetly.

“I was planning on giving it to him tonight,” Yujin quietly replied with a smile.

“Does that mean, you’re wearing that thing I gave you?”

“Why do you think I haven’t sat down?”

“How does it feel?”

“Good. Though I may need to upgrade to something bigger,” she told him and gave him the biggest devilish smile he’d ever seen before she walked away.

The next morning when he woke up, he texted Yujin asking how things went last night. He did not get an answer right away. It wasn’t until about an hour later that got a reply. She messaged him saying it went well. That was followed up by a close-up mirror photo, with the message saying he could not get enough of it.

The photo was of Yujin’s ass with her cheeks spread apart and some cum trickling out of it. He then asked her if the photo was from last night or if she didn’t reply to his text right away so that her boyfriend could fill her and she could then send him a photo. She replied asking him if he really thought she’d have morning sex with her boyfriend specifically so she could send a teasing picture afterward. As soon as she said that, he knew that is exactly what she did.

Minho got some disappointing news later in the week when Yujin had to cancel their weekend plans. Her boyfriend had surprised her with plans for a weekend getaway trip. She told him she’d make it up to him, and then send a dozen nude pictures of herself, some full body and others close up, to ‘hold him over’ while she was gone. Thought that rain check was probably not going to happen when on Monday morning Yujin put out an Instagram post announcing that she was engaged. Minho congratulated her the next time he saw her on set and jokingly whispered, “I didn’t know he loved you giving him anal that much.” Yujin laughed at that.

He assumed that was it. He thought Yujin was off the board for him. And while he still enjoyed Wonyoung and Gaeul, he was a little disappointed he only got the one crack at the idol. That disappointment went away the Friday after the announcement of her engagement. Sungho had left to go out with several other staff for the night shooting, leaving Minho home alone. Not 15 minutes after Sungho left there was a knock on the door. Minho opened the door and was surprised to find Yujin standing there.

“Hi, old man.”

“Yujin, what are you doing here?” He asked with surprise.

“I told you I was going to make it up to you.”

“I thought that that went out the window when you accepted that ring.” He said looking down at the rock on the idol’s finger.

“I made a promise to Hajoon when I said yes to him, but technically I did make a promise to you first. And I always keep my promises.”

Once she said that Minho stepped aside and let Yujin into the house. “What was that promise again?” he asked playing dumb.

“I believe it was that I was going to show you that I’m the best in bed you’ve ever had.”

“What about Sungho? What happens when he comes home and finds you here?”

“I’ve taken care of that. Wonyoung owed me.”

“I believe you promised me an entire weekend of demonstrating your talents.”

“Wonyoung owed me several IOUs,” she informed him. “Now, why don’t you stop wasting time and take that cock out of your pants?”

#yujin smut #ive smut #kpop smut #girl group smut #female idol smut #male reader

2K notes · View notes

bbyjackie · 2 years ago

Text

𝐒𝐎𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐋𝐒 𝐀𝐒 𝐙𝐎𝐑𝐎'𝐒 𝐆𝐅 — ♡

one piece social media + dating feat: zoro

♡ liked by FRAAANKY, nicorobin and 2.2k others

_ynln: moments before disaster

tagged: theroronoa.zoro

blackleg.sanji: PLEASE GIVE ME A CHANCE. ILL TREAT YOU BETTER THAN HE COULD EVER YN PLEASE. 🙏🙏😫😫

↳ lovenami: stop praying on their downfall

↳ sogekingg.usopp: ONG, yn is the only one who can keep zoro from getting lost. im not risking their breakup ☝️☝️

↳ theroronoa.zoro: @blackleg.sanji stay mad that u got no bitches

theroronoa.zoro: its not my fault you fell

↳ _ynln: bitch ive seen u deadlift a building 😐

↳ theroronoa.zoro: it is what it is 🥱

blackleg.sanji: scribble out his face my queen, he's ruining your beauty 😙😙

♡ liked by theroronoa.zoro, ilovecottoncandychopper and 3.4k others

_ynln: my boyfriend is the hottest

tagged: theroronoa.zoro

theroronoa.zoro: fan behaviour 🥱

↳ _ynln: nvm my bf sucks

sogekingg.usopp: DAMN BRO EVEN GOT ME FEELING SOME TYPE OF WAY 🥵🥵

↳ FRAAANKY: VALIDDD HES BUILT 🫡

↳ _ynln: agreed 🫣🫣

↳ sogekingg.usopp: keeping the rest of us humble

↳ theroronoa.zoro: i hate you guys

♡ liked by ace, p1rateking_luffy and 1.9k others

_ynln: pizza bites are the loml 💞

tagged: p1rateking_luffy, blackleg.sanji

theroronoa.zoro: wtf when did this happen

↳ _ynln: when u locked me out so u could sleep

↳ theroronoa.zoro: you could've woken me up and we could've made pizza instead of u and that stupid cook

↳ _ynln: last time i woke u up, u almost three sword styled me 😭😭

↳ p1rateking_luffy: I was there too!! Thanks the invite yn 😁😁

↳ theroronoa.zoro: wait luffy was there too? was everyone but me hanging out with MY girlfriend?

↳ FRAAANKY: OMG ARE U GUYS ARGUING RN

↳ ilovecottoncandychopper: guyss please don't fight :((

↳ CAPTAIN.KIIIID: fight

blackleg.sanji: WAKE ME UP ANYTIME TO MAKE MIDNIGHT SNACKS MY GODDESS YN 🧎🏼‍♂️🧎🏼‍♂️

↳ theroronoa.zoro: just so yk i reported this comment for harassment

theroronoa.zoro: how am i not the love of your life 🤨

↳ _ynln: tough, maybe cause u dont post me

↳ FRAAANKY: post her @theroronoazoro

↳ p1rateking_luffy: Post her @theroronoazoro

↳ sogekingg.usopp: post her @theroronoazoro

♡ liked by jinbe, _ynln and 4.5k others

theroronoa.zoro: my gf is the prettiest person in the world i love her. this is a yn dedication post.

slide 1: my gf waking me up after she found me on the streets.❤️‍🔥

slide 2: there's two cute things in this photo. my gf is cuter. ❤️‍🔥

slide 3: teaching my gf how to down booze. she's perfect. ❤️‍🔥

slide 4: my gf having fun at the gym waiting for me to finish my workout. ❤️‍🔥

tagged: _ynln

_ynln: zoro omg i love u sm 🥹💕💕

↳ theroronoa.zoro: ❤️

nicorobin: this is cute

blackleg.sanji: CRYING SCREAMING THROWING UP

ilovecottoncandychopper: i love u two together 🙂

↳ _ynln: AWW CHOPPER <33

jinbe: i support this message

lovenami: first post in 8 months and it's his gf, who wants to jump onto the train tracks w me

p1rateking_luffy: yn's feet

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_ynln 17m

[_ynln] theroronoa.zoro replied to your story: love you

#one piece #one piece headcanons #one piece x reader #one piece smau #one piece imagine #luffy x reader #zoro x reader #smau #kid x reader #sanji x reader #usopp x reader #zoro x y/n #zoro headcanons #roronoa zoro #roronoa zoro x reader #roronoa zoro x y/n #one piece x you #one piece fluff #one piece scenario

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fxtalitygod · 8 months ago

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EPILOGUE. ~Survival~

Genre: Historical AU, angst, mature, suggestive, arranged-marriage

Warnings: Dark themes, gore, graphic imagery, theme/depictions of horror, body horror, swearing/language, suggestive, pregnancy mentions, mentions and acts of suicide, arguments, mentions of adult murder, Pet name (Little Flower 1-2x) implied Stockholm Syndrome, grief imagery, images/depictions of dead bodies, murder, character death(s), slight misogynistic themes (if you squint), implied incest mentions

Word Count: 5.9k

A/N: Today marks the day I finish this series. Guys, I cannot believe it took me two years to finish this damned series. Do not get me wrong, I loved writing it, but boy, it was a major pain in my ass. As corny as it sounds, thank you all for sticking with me throughout this series. When I originally posted the first chapter, I did not expect ANY attention whatsoever; it was just a self-indulgent thing I wanted to write because I wanted a better representation of (Y/n) where, yeah, she may not be the strongest. However, she still knows how to make do with what she has and make that her strength. I also wanted to give a more realistic relationship with the pairing. As much as I love Sukuna's character, I did not believe him to be a character capable of "true love" but a character that values others but not in the way you might think. I'm talking literal value, currency value, and benefit value. I wanted a more realistic take on the story because I did not know how many more historical "Kuna," "Suku," or "Kunie" stories I could take. No hate for those who write it or those who enjoy it; it just isn't my personal cup of tea. I like true crime and dark stories (I have this serial killer project that I'm stoked about because I know I will get my group an A+), so I tend to enjoy those darker sides, which I believe is why I like Sukuna's character so much, he just feeds into that side of me. There are some of the fantasies I enjoy where Sukuna is non-canon, such as AUs and all that, but when it comes to JJK's storyline or his historical AUs, I tend to fall short of enjoyment of that type of fantasy.

Anywho, thank you all for sticking around and enjoy the epilogue. I hope it was worth the wait. I may or may not have written three times because my perfectionism kicked in every time I proofread it, and I found something I did not like and scraped half the chapter. I bet I'll find a little thing here and there when I post this. Still, it won't be anything noticeable, something along the lines of my tags and probably my TW, though Im usually very on point with those kinds of things. Still, it always seems that AFTER I make the post, I really start to notice things even after proofreading it 50x.

P.S. I plan to do a behind-the-scenes post on all my original ideas. I have worked on this little project for two years, so you bet I had alternatives. Feel free to send me asks or messages asking me about things you are curious about, and I will gladly answer.

JJK Mlist•Taglist Rules• • Pt.I • Pt. II • Pt. III • Pt. IV • Pt. V • Pt. VI • Pt.VII • Pt. VIII • Pt. IX • Pt. X • Epilogue

The market was bustling at this time of day. Workers were heading home from a hard day of work, rushing through the roads as they grabbed ingredients and materials for their households to prepare their meals and homes; everything was so normal...and if she were being honest, it felt strange. The confined life of the temple had practically become a comfort, so when presented with a slice of normalcy, it was foreign and, if she were being honest, alarming as well.

Having so much freedom was intimidating and overwhelming– the fear of having something good and it being taken away was a looming thought that brought many anxieties.

Years have passed since that fated day, Sukuna Ryomen's downfall. Since the fire and the slaughter that had immersed, Sukuna's actions had remained silent. There were whispers of sightings and rumors that the curse user had met his demise, but she knew better. Sukuna Ryomen was unkillable, and if anybody had truly caught a glance of him, they would be dead before they could live and tell the tale.

"Mama."

The world seemed to stop as the word processed through her head. Blood ran cold, and breaths of air seemed to come in at a faster rate. The woman turned to the little girl holding her hand, causing her heart to shatter.

"Darling, I told you not to refer to me as your mother, remember?"

The question remained as a statement rather than an inquiry as if refamiliarizing the child with a rule she had been reacquainted with on multiple occasions.

"I-I know that, but why can I not? You care for me like a mother, so why can I not call you my mother?'

"We have discussed this before, child," the woman sighed, "I believe it unfair to be taking the title of your actual mother."

"Well, if my real mother had not given me away, it would not be like this..."

Pausing mid-step, the caretaker held her breath, controlling the emotions and memories that flashed through her mind. The girl's sentence rang through her head, eliciting a feeling she was not commonly met with... aggravation. With no hesitance, the woman's minimal steps turned into longer strides, her grip even firmer on the young girl's hand. Getting to their place of lodging was more vital than anything, as she wanted to avoid discussing such sensitive matters in a public setting. Prying ears were close enough in such a crowded setting.

Upon reaching the home, the stand-in mother pulled the child inside before shutting the door. She swiftly bent down to the young one's level and took the child's shoulders into her hands. The little girl was shocked by the woman's reaction, staying silent and still as if afraid of what was to come next.

"Child, I will not hear you speak such false claims of your mother. You do not know the sacrifices she made to get you here."

The girl's expression of fear shifted from dread to shame. Her face was red from embarrassment after she was caught for her prior statement. However, as children do, she made it her goal to justify herself.

"What is the point of her sacrifice if she left me. Did she not want to be around me?"

"She did not leave you; if she were still in this world, trust me, she would be right here with you!"

The caregiver's words came out with little thought; all she knew was that she would not tolerate the little girl's false assumptions. However, now that the words spilled out of her mouth, she began to regret them. Seeing the tears well up in the girl's eyes made her wish she had phrased it differently.

"What do you mean?"

The caretaker cursed under her breath before inhaling through her nose, exhaling softly before speaking.

"You deserve the truth, my dear, and the truth is that your mother sacrificed her life to ensure you had a good one. She loved you so much that she valued your life more than hers. You might not understand this now, but that is a mother's love." The woman's breath stuttered, "She loved you more than you could ever know. I will not claim the title as your mother for that reason."

The girl was overwhelmed with emotion, only knowing how to express it through tears. The woman could not bear it and brought the girl close to her chest, embracing her to give any form of comfort that might help– it broke her heart to hear the child's quiet sobs.

After calming down, the kid spoke, though with some light chokes.

"W-what s-should I call you then?"

The warden took a sigh as she thought over her charges question. In all honesty, she had no idea what to say. What answer could she even give her? She could not allow her real name to float between the child's tongue as it would expose her identity. What name could she let the child speak?

"Hmm," the woman loosened her embrace, looking the little girl in the eye with a soft smile, "What do you think you should call me?"

The girl tilted her head, wanting more elaboration.

The lady chuckled softly, "What do you think my name should be, child?"

The caregiver had expected the girl to take some time to come up with an answer; however, the kid took no hesitation when she blurted out...

"Makato-san!"

Silenced engulfed the home as her caregiver failed to respond.

"Makato-san, I'm going to the market. Do you need anything?"

Another prolonged stillness as the young lady waited for a response.

The girl scrunched her brows in concern, extending her neck to look further into the room as if the individual she was looking for would appear. With the growing silence, the young adult searched the home for her guardian.

"Makato-san?"

She searched and examined the silent home with slight panic before finally stumbling upon the older woman, staring blankly at the floor she was kneeling on– unresponsive as she continued to stare.

With caution, Y/n's daughter reached her hand out to her caregiver's, placing it on the woman's shoulder. The response she got was one she had not expected.

The Makato turned suddenly, grabbing onto the young woman's wrist with an ungodly strength that even the girl was unaware of. This caused the girl to wince in pain as she tried to pull her arm away. Her arm was turning a light purple from the lack of circulation, proving the grip's vice.

Despite her fear, the charge could only feel concerned as her caregiver made eye contact, tears welling up in her eyes. It stayed like that for a couple more seconds before she snapped back into reality, gasping as she was presented with the image of her actions, quickly letting go of the young lady's arm.

"I'm so sorry, my Dear. I did not mean to...I was just..." The woman paused, swallowing her following words; however, her stutter did not disappear: "D-D-Did you need something, m-my, Dear?"

"I was preparing to leave and was going to ask if you needed anything from that market," the girl paused, choosing her next words carefully. Makato-san, you've been acting strange as of late. Is everything alright?"

The young woman was old enough to recognize the hesitance in her caretaker's features and the short lack of response.

"Whatever do you mean, Darling?"

"Please do not take me a fool," the youthful female voiced before sighing and looking at Makato in pity, "I'm worried for you, Makato-san. Ever since the refugees from the other village came, you have been behaving irregularly."

The refugees.

To say that their arrival was a shock was an understatement. At first, Makato thought nothing of it until the newcomers began to tell their stories. Their village was burned in a monstrous fire by a "crazed" sorcerer, and their home was now unsustainable to live in as it was left entirely in shambles. Despite this information, Makato thought little of it as there had been few stories of criminal sorcerers destroying homes, most being "inspired" by Sukuna's actions after his sudden hiatus. It was not until an elderly woman, who she happened to hear at random, described the appearance of the sorcerer.

"He was monstrous, the vile thing; he had four arms and two faces if you do not count that horrid mouth on his stomach. I watched both of them grin as it chewed on the remains of my eldest son." the elder choked and sobbed as the memory came back to taunt her.

Makato's heart dropped to her stomach. Rushing home in search of her charge, she found the girl working on her studies. Seeing the child she worked so hard to raise brought relief, but it was not long before the memories and visions began to haunt her. Sometimes, she would see you standing there, looking down at her, motionless and silent, with a pained, pitful look.

She hated it.

When you looked at her that way, she felt weak and vulnerable—as if she were failing. She was not as cool and calculating as you were, nor as confident or intimidating. Had you been here, you would have more than likely been able to disappear from society and find a nice, quiet life for yourself and your daughter. But you were not here; that was the problem– you were just a figment of her imagination.

Even then, she wanted you to stop looking at her that way.

Sometimes, she was left in her privacy and saw your vision appear to accompany her. It would drive her mad as she tried to convince you, even herself, that she was doing enough. She would speak into the silence of the room and get no response.

"What else could you want with me? I am doing everything I can!"

Silence.

"I am happy. She is happy. We are happy. Is that not enough for you?"

Silence.

"He thinks she is dead– he thinks I am dead! There is no possible way that..."

Silence.

"Please, stop looking at me that way. I am capable of doing this...please have faith in me."

"Makato-san?"

Pulling herself from her thoughts, Makato tracked what the girl had said earlier, not wanting to worry about her charge further.

"I apologize for my irregular behavior, my Dear. I can assure you that I am alright. I have had a lot of stress these days regarding the refugees. I want to do my part to assist them, but I have been running myself ragged and am just...tired."

The girl hesitated, not wanting to accept her caretaker's excuse, but she knew pushing the subject would not do her any good, so she nodded in understanding. The worst part is that Makato knew your daughter was aware of her white lie, but she would not admit it for some slim hope that the girl honestly did not know. Sometimes, she wished your daughter had not inherited your intelligence and perception.

"Do you need anything from the market, Makato-san? I plan on leaving soon to aid the refugees."

"No, I believe we have enough supplied for quite a while. All that I ask of you is to be safe, Darling."

Your daughter agreed, letting a soft smile slip onto her face before hugging Makato. The woman accepted the embrace before experiencing a wave of realization. Intelligence and perception were not the only things she inherited from you; she happened to be a real beauty as well.

"My Dear, if you plan on seeing that boy of yours, speak your peace now and know that I only want you to be safe and happy."

The girl struggled to find words before lowering her head in embarrassment, her face bright red with fluster.

"You are of age now, and I want you to know the responsibilities that rest on your shoulders."

"Makato-san, I never meant to keep it a secret. I just...I was afraid of your disapproval."

The more experienced woman could understand where she was coming from. Long ago, she was in the girl's position. However, she was never allowed to pursue her love due to the circumstances of her arrangement, but that does not mean she did not try. Despite her efforts to keep her relationship together, it was all for not in the end. She was given away as a sacrificial lamb to a monster.

Your daughter had a chance of love, and the caregiver would not squander it for her. She wanted your daughter to have a chance at a relationship she never had. Maybe it was questionable on her part due to the circumstances of her mission, but she did not entirely care. She just wanted your daughter to have a normal life.

She knew that was what you had wanted for your child.

"I do not disapprove, Darling. I just want you to be happy and to be careful."

"I promise that I will Makato-san."

There was a pause of awkward silence before the young woman embraced Makato once more.

"Thank you, I'll be back soon."

Makato smiled as she watched her ward leave the home. She had no problem admitting she was happy for the girl, but something deep within her told her it was a bad idea. It was hard for her to come to terms with, but she had an itching feeling that did not settle with her.

The world was perfect at the moment. Your daughter had put smiles on faces from her charity and was now being rewarded with a proposal for her marriage. She hugged her lover, showing her love and adoration in any way appropriate for their stage in relationship. If you were here, you would be beaming with joy, giving consent to the marriage with no hesitation because this is all you could ever want for your girl, and it would have been all you wanted for your twins.

You never had a chance of love and a happy life; seeing your children be able to pursue their lives to the fullest, especially in romantics, would have been considered a blessing to you.

"This is the happiest day of my life, honestly, but have you received my guardian's blessing?"

The young man chuckled, caressing her cheek reassuringly, "I plan on coming over for dinner tonight to ask for your hand properly if you will have me."

The girl could only agree eagerly through her expressions, unable to speak in fear of shouting instead of politely inviting him. Hugging him one last time before parting to rush home and prepare their meal; however, a chill went up her spine the moment she left; everything felt cold, and she could not explain why. Maybe it was the lack of his embrace, but she had never felt that way. There was only one good reason she could name.

Her nerves were getting the best of her...

"What if Makato-san declines."

The young woman's moods changed throughout the day as she prepared for the most significant evening of her life. One moment, she had the goofiest, filled with overwhelming joy, but there were other times when she would find herself chewing her nails from anxiety, and right now, she was having one of those times.

"Dear, stop that. This behavior is far from healthy. What has you behaving this way?"

"Nothing, everything is fine. I suppose I'm just hoping dinner will turn out acceptable tonight."

"Dear, please do not insult my intelligence with these excuses. What is going on that you are not telling me?"

"Well, I—" there was a pause. How was the ward supposed to say anything without giving anything away?

"You what? Spit it out, child, you are worrying me."

"I cannot say. I am sorry. But do not worry, please; something good is about to happen. Please trust me on this."

Makato chewed the inside of her cheek. She did trust her ward, but she had this gut feeling, this sickening feeling that she could not name. Maybe it was just her nerves getting the best of her, so she pushed it aside. She trusted your daughter, the only trustworthy person that Makato knew.

"Alright... is there anything you need help with?

The younger one smiled sweetly, taking her caretaker's hands in her own.

"No, I have it handled. You have been so stressed the past few days that you should just relax. Tonight, all your worries will be washed away." With that, she parted to continue her work for the big news. She was all but too excited.

She was also naive.

She was a sweet little girl, but she was naive. To think all of Makato's worries and problems would go away by simply relaxing, through sweet and simple gestures, was an innocent way to think. It was how Makato raised that girl because she wanted that sweet little girl to have that luxury. There were times she wondered if she had made the right choice, but then she would remember what pain looked like and what too much experience could do to a person.

No, she made the right decision. This is what you would have wanted.

Right?

Yes.

Makato went, and she sat as the young woman finished her final preparations for the meal. The girl looked more stressed than ever, rushing at the final threshold, but it seemed that preparations were finished and she was filling time. She found little things to do that held no significance. She was in her head, making Makato question if everything was truly fine.

Then, the footsteps could be heard. He was here, and everything was going to change. Life was going to change, and it was between her and that door. The biggest day of her life was only a dinner conversation away. So she opened the door and was presented with an image she thought she would never see or experience.

"We must leave. The village is under attack, and we do not have much time."

The smell of smoke was strong, and embers could be seen from a not-to0-far distance. The world came crashing down, and she could not say a thing. She could only stand there with an oblivious smile.

"What?"

Fear, confusion, anger, any negative emotion she could feel, she was feeling. This was not how it was supposed to go. She was supposed to get a blessing and marry the man of her dreams. Why now? Why this? This could not be real, there was no way.

If the world had crashed down for your daughter, the heavens collided into the earth, dissipating everything in its path in Makato's eyes. The older woman stood, no thoughts running in her head as she strided to the boy, grabbing him by his garments

"You tell me now, and you tell me true, boy! What did you see?!"

Her sudden actions left him too stunned to speak, but after some shaking and calling for his attention, he found himself capable of a response.

"Makato-san, what is happening?" It was like everything hit her at once, but she was still trying to understand why it was happening today– why it was happening now at the most crucial moment of her life.

"I do not know what it was, but it was a man of stature. He was disfigured; he had two faces and four arms. He came without warning, started flames, and began a massacre. His face was cold, as if he felt absolutely nothing."

There was no doubt in her mind that it was him, no doubt her former husband as reigning terror; however, based on the emotionless state of his ambush, bloodshed was beginning to lose its flavor. It was comical, but as much as it had some humor, this was no joke. This was all too real.

Makato grabbed your daughter's shoulder, pulling her out of her shock. Tears were in her eyes, looking at her caretaker pitifully.

"Makato-san, what is happening?"

She was naive, and being naive was safe, but being naive was also unrealistic. Makato gave the girl a sheltered life, eliminating the possibility of danger to the girl. That was no way to live.

"Your father, that is what is happening."

"What?"

And the shock returned. Makato made an effort to avoid mentioning Sukuna in conversation, only mentioning you in light memory. As far as your daughter was concerned, her father did not exist...until now.

"That so-called man is your father, Ryomen Sukuna. That is the man who drove your mother to eventually kill herself," A pause, licking her lip as she readied herself to elaborate, "Your mother sacrificed herself to protect you from him. He drained the life from her and left her no choice but to die, but she gave it purpose. She died to give you a life, a life away from him."

"I-" Your daughter was at a loss for words. Everything was hitting her too fast.

"I thought I was doing the right thing by keeping it from you. I wanted you to have an everyday life, but I should have noticed sooner or later that the truth would reveal itself and that he would present himself one day."

There was nothing to say, only to exchange expressions of fear and dismay.

"W-Well, what do we do now?"

"We run."

Taking the two charges, Makato grabbed whatever necessities they needed to start a new life. She had been planning this since the day she ran from the temple. She would admit that now, with a third party, it would be more complicated than she had intended, but they would make do.

They exited the home frantic. The smell of smoke became more potent, and the embers were closer than before. The flames became more evident as they spread. Any entrance to the main road would have been a route to death, but Makato had never planned to use that path. There was a back trail through the woods, one she had discovered when your little girl was merely five years of age.

They ran towards the thicket, avoiding as many obstacles as possible. Things were looking smooth, with hardly any disruptions. It was almost serene, but that was the issue. To have such tranquility was a nauseating notion for mayhem being at their backs.

It was too quiet to be safe.

And that is when she knew to push the girl and her lover aside, veiling their presence with her technique before everything went black.

Ringing...

And more ringing...

The lights were brighter, and the smoke and ash came straight from the source. She woke up coughing and gasping for air. For a moment, she thought she had been dreaming, immersed in a life that was not hers. Maybe she was waking up, back to her village, back to her parents, back to the life before she got caught in that awful nightmare.

"I am surprised that it was you, of all the women she let live." Sukuna started, looking down at what he believed to be the scum of the earth.

No, it was all too real. His voice registered through her head instantly despite not hearing it in years– at least in person. She had repeated memories, but sometimes she wondered if she had deformed his voice from years of not hearing him speak down on her. Turns out she remembered it accurately. It still managed to send chills down her spine and make her wish to be six feet under the ground.

"I was probably too forgettable for her to ever really care about whether I lived or died." Makato spat.

"That is reasonable enough, but that would not serve her memory well and rather insult her intelligence. I will say that, if anything, my Little Flower was too clever to let such technicality slip from her. She probably pitied you and your fruitless womb, so she gifted you with a child for you to care for in her absence. And knowing your broken state, she probably knew you would be eager at the opportunity."

Makato scowled, turning her gaze to the ground. How dare he speak of you in such a way. He said that as if you were on his level, as devious and conniving as he was, and claimed your actions were selfish when they were the opposite. You did this for her daughter, not for yourself. If you had it your way, you would be there.

"How old is she now?"

She refused to answer, turning her gaze back to the dirt. She did not want to give him the satisfaction of belittling her more than he already had. It was humiliating, but she still had some dignity and a promise she wished to uphold.

"What does it matter? She is dead. (Y/n) told you herself that she was gone."

A sharp pain was felt at the back of her head as he pulled her hair to force the woman to look up at him.

"Do not picture me a fool! For a woman whose last words claimed her daughter was gone, she left me the most humorous smile. I know that age of the girl, but I would rather hear from you, bitch, how long you have been holding her captive."

No response.

"Answer me!" Sukuna snarled, pulling at her scalp once more.

"Nineteen years of age," Makato smiled. Why? Do you wish to act as a father now? Well, you are too LATE! While you were out throwing tantrums, I raised her child, which you would not know how to do without being given exact handwritten instructions."

"On the contrary, you let her potential slip, and now she is nothing but another womb to breed. Unfortunate, due to the heritage of her mother and myself. However, a womb is still useful regardless."

Out of anything Sukuna had done, out of anything he had said to threaten her, that was the most horrifying.

"You are a disgusting bastard."

"Do not speak as if you can fill her shoes as if you have her confidence. You would not be in this position if you were half the woman she was."

"You are right; if I were half the woman she was, I could have easily manipulated you and have you play the role of the arrogant man with an ego so big, he does not notice the knife pointing at his back," A pause as she licked her lips, swallowing to try and quench her dry throat, "Everything that woman did was out of fear, much like everyone else; however, she knew how to tick your interest and she used that to her advantage. Honestly, I am ashamed. I only noticed it when she told me about her plan."

A twitch in his eye, he was irritated. It was known through body language and the knowledge of his nature that he wanted to tear Makato apart, limb from limb, until her body was unrecognizable.

"What? Afraid to face the truth of her decision. She could have run away with ease; she could have killed you, but both of those options would have been considered a mercy for you. She took away the one thing that you valued: herself. That must eat at you a lot."

With a swift motion, he scooped the former wife from her neck, squeezing her throat as he raised her to face him eye-to-eye.

"You are a worthless bitch who cannot even reproduce, summing you up to nothing. What is your worth?"

Nothing but the struggling breaths of the woman attempting to pry herself from this monster's grip.

"Exactly, you are worth nothing."

Darkness, wherever they were, was dark. The girl and her lover were still in the woods, alive as well as they could manage. She could only remember running into this place before being shoved into the dark area. She felt the ground around her and reached her arms out into the pitch black as she tried to navigate this strange place. It scared her.

"Makato-san? Where are you?"

No response, only silence.

It was dark and frightening, and she did not know what to do. What could she do? She could cry, so she did; she cried as she tried to find her way back. This had to be some kind of night terror. She would wake up, and she would be at that doorway, welcoming her lover into their home, eating their meal, and then sharing the news. Her lover would get her caretaker's blessing, get married, and live happily ever after, right?

Dreadfully wrong.

Instead, a hand reached out and pulled her out of the darkness. The world was still unlit, but moonlight and the flames dancing in the distance could be seen nearby; however, she was not a part of the conflict.

She was about to scream, cry for help, anything to get attention drawn to her location, but was stopped by a large palm to the mouth.

"Shhh, my love. It is only me. It will be alright."

For the first time that night, she felt genuine relief. Turning her head to see her man, she looked down at her disheveled features. She weakly smiled, moving herself to embrace him. It all lasted for a few seconds until she realized the missing member of their little group.

"Where is Makato-san?" she whispered.

The man looked down, not daring to respond. She attempted to make eye contact, but he would only look away.

"Where is she?" she insistently asked, but louder.

" I do not know; a couple curse users emerged from the woods. Makato shoved us into the ditch, and when I came out, she was gone."

"Well...Well, we must go look for her."

A grasp to the wrist effectively stopped the girl.

"No, I cannot risk losing you, and I know Makato-san would agree. She would not want you going out to risk your life to save her."

How could he say that? How dare he say that! What right did he have in this decision?

"Then you do not know her." she scowled, trying to withdraw from his hold, but his hand did not budge.

"Then why would she tell you everything had she not already predicted the possibility that she might die."

"Because... because...she needed me to know because if we were going to run away, I would need to put in my own weight by knowing our threat...yes, that was it! Now let me go!" She tried to reason, but not to him—herself.

Denial.

"It was a confession! As if she were lying on her deathbed, she confessed everything to you. She wants you to move on, knowing there are dangers like your father. She wants you to kno-"

"Well, she may not be dead yet, so we have to try!"

With whatever strength she had deep down, she broke free from his grasp, sprinting towards the village and the flame. She could hear him following her, but in her mind, she wanted to believe he was doing it because he could see her reason. He would help; she was sure of it.

She was almost there, and she swore she could see the silhouette of her caretaker, but then she found herself on the ground. It was only for a second before being lifted into the air, a hand covering her mouth as she got further from her destination.

Kicking, muffled screams, and the distant cackling of flames could be heard. She bit her partner’s hand in an attempt that he would let her go from the sudden pain, but he was resistant. He merely grunted and winced while continuing his journey back. But then there was a halt.

There she was, Makato, thrown onto the ground. She could see her in the distance. The woman looked weak but very much alive, and she was right there. The daughter kicked, shoved, jabbed, and bit even more, trying to get loose. However, her lover would not budge because although he could see Makato, he could also see the shadow hovering over the woman, the shadow your daughter was refusing to look at.

Then the shadow disappeared, and the dreadful monster emerged, Sukuna Ryomen, hovering over Makato with disdain. Watching as she tried to crawl away but failed miserably. She was fighting, doing her best, but her fate was inevitable.

Death was the only option, and death is what she got.

Ryomen Sukuna caved into his impulses, ripping her limb from limb until she was unrecognizable. The daughter watched, horrified, as the woman who raised her was mutilated to nothing but a pulp. What sort of sick joke was this? She remained silent as she tried to think of who would pull such a childish trick, watching as the image got smaller until nothing was left. Eventually, it was just a tiny yellow dot in the distance and nothing more; all she could do was look at it.

"Promise me you will live."

Breath in

Breathe out

Breath in

Breathe out

Breath in

Breathe out

Breath in

Breathe out

Breath in

Breathe out

Breath in

Breathe out

Breath in

Breathe o-

"NOOOOOOOOOO!"

The scream echoed through the dark room, and you tried to comprehend where you were. The walls were closing in, and the air was too thick to breathe. It felt like like suffocation.

What was this?

Why now?

Where is this?

Why is this?

How is-

"Y/n!"

You snapped back into reality, frantically looking at your surroundings to notice you were in your bedroom.

"Y/n, what happened? Are you okay?"

The silence was tense as you sat there, trying to remember your nightmare. You thought long and hard, but in the end, you had nothing.

"I...I don't know."

You heard a sigh, a hand rubbing your back, and another reaching for your cheek, wiping the stray tears you were unaware of.

"Do you want me to stay with you tonight, again?"

Some of you wanted to say no, but the opposing side longed for it. You stared at the clock on the wall before you, reading the time. It was a little past midnight, and you had hardly gotten any rest. You had a big day tomorrow, and rest was crucial to get through your day. God knows the things you would do if you did not properly sleep.

Turning to your twin brother, you weakly nodded, "Okay."

He did not hesitate to tuck you under his arm as if in an attempt to protect you from any harm to come your way, to shield you from the nightmares. However, despite his presence, it was like a part of the dream appeared that you remembered but didn't at the same time.

"Do you think I'll be a good mother?"

"Why are you asking me that?"

"Please just answer me...for my sanity."

Your brother sighed, resting his cheek on your head as he rubbed your shoulder to comfort you.

"Y/n, I have no doubt you will make a great mother. Come on, let's go back to sleep. I'll stay here, and everything will be better in the morning."

"Promise me it will be better in the morning."

"What?"

"You don't have to hold up to it. I just...I just want to hear you say it."

"I promise it will be better in the morning."

"Okay..."

New series?? Sequel???Maybe, but first, a little break ☆~ (˃̵ڡ‘˶ )

Taglist (Thank you all so much for being a part of this series):

@littlemochi @mistalli @youngbeansprout @bbylime @bangtan-forever1479 @idktbhloley @izayas-rings @o3o-aya @pyschopotatomeme @persephonehemingway @otomaniac @meforpr3sident

@fourcefulcupid @nezuscribe @my-simp-land @zukuphilia @niya729 @spiritofstatic @bbittersw33t @kashasenpai @decaysan @honeybaegle @ygslvr @outrofenty @esposadomd @ali2426 @anmath @yazzzmints @lovingnahida @sincerest-one @rosemaydone321 @j0dios @k-ki3rd @maki-zenin1944 @shadowywizardarcade @ae-mius @xiangping-28 @loaves4me @aloraaaxcrystalzx @chariotwaves

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eleu22 · 6 months ago

Text

Sweaty Palms - Prologue

Simon “Ghost” Riley x f!reader

tags: none

masterlist

——————

The pub was quiet, save for the light crystalline chime as the bartender wipes down the pint glasses. The warm glow of the flickering headlights cascade down through John’s bourbon, it refracts a brown sheen onto the file in front of him.

Kate’s eyes don’t leave him as his eyes scan the document, rhythmic tapping against her glass awaits his response.

Finally, John lets out a sigh. “She’s good.” he muses as he flicks the page with his index finger. “But, you know as well as I do, good isn’t enough. We’re… particular.”

Kate smiles, her sharp expression still trained onto him. “Particular? That’s a polite way of saying you’ve got a team of hardened bastards who don’t trust anyone outside your circle.”

John sighs again, raising his free hand to smooth the crease in between his brows, still looking over the file. “Look Kate, we both know-“

”Know what? That you’ve had too many close calls and enough complaints from the medical staff to fill my entire office?” Kate interjects sternly. “John, what we both know is that your team only works within your little…” Kate waves her hands around in an exasperated circular motion before leaning in. “So, having someone within reach to make sure none of you bleed out on the field could be… beneficial.” Kate tilts her head to John meaningfully.

John looks up at Kate and back down to the file again, as if trying to find some type of flaw that would warrant him opting out of this not so optional suggestion from Laswell.

John then looks back up to Kate defeated. “Well, what can you tell me about her at least?” tilting the paper back to Kate.

“She’s more than just a medic,” Kate leans back in her chair, taking a sip from her drink before swirling it, the clinking of ice against her glass accompanies them. “Her squad went dark on an op about three months ago. Ambushed by insurgents. She dragged one of my operatives out under fire, stabilised him with half a medkit and kept the rest of the squad alive until extraction.”

Price raises his eyebrows “so, she’s tough?”

”Tougher than she looks.” Kate replies. “There’s more to her though, Honey’s got… a way of keeping people together. She’s not just stitching up wounds; she keeps morale alive in the field.”

Price mouth twitches in amusement “Oh, and we need a morale-boost?”

Kate fixes John with an unimpressed look “no, but you need someone to keep you guys out of the dark.”

Price hums thoughtfully “well, I can’t promise they’ll be too pleased about this.”

Kate chuckles. “Well that’s your problem, all I’m saying is, give her a chance. She’s worth it.”

Price raises his glass to his lips, taking one last cursory glance at the file

“we’ll see.”

——————

OKKKK this is my first time properly writing a fic to lmk what u think !!!

ive got a fun lil story set out for this so hold onto ur horses

#call of duty #cod #call of duty modern warfare #simon ghost riley #simon ghost riley x reader

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scribbledghost · 24 days ago

Note

Hello! I absolutely love all of your writing about the vessels in their manor, especially the poly vessels stuff. I'd love something with poly vessels where everyone except reader has been collared by ii and they want to be collared by him as well but think he doesn't want to, but really he's just been taking things slowly so he doesn't rush or force the reader into anything. Maybe they came to ivy about their feelings first to confide in him. Would love a soft and maybe smutty ending with ii <3

Note: typically in my fics it's the reader doing the collaring, so this will be an interesting shift lol. Thank you for sending this in! Tags: GN!Reader, collaring, oral (m receiving), penetration from behind (cringed typing that but it's the only way I can think of to describe it without gendered terms lmao)

Collar

"Can I ask you something?"

IV instantly looks over at you. The two of you have been wandering around the manor gardens for a bit together, a frequent activity for you both, but something has been eating at your mind for some time now. You haven't yet developed the courage to speak directly about it to the vessel in question, but IV is particularly easy to confide in.

"This is about II, isn't it?" he asks smoothly.

You keep forgetting your thoughts aren't secret unless you will them to be around here.

"I... yeah, it is."

"He doesn't hate you, you know."

You sigh. It's not that you think he hates you - his behavior is more than enough to reassure you to the contrary - but there is something that you continue to be reminded of on an almost daily basis:

Everyone except for you bears some sort of collar from II.

Vessel has more of a necklace, something to still symbolize his connection with II but without the constrictive nature of standard collars. III and IV have more traditional ones; black leather with metal rings on the front (though II has threatened more than once to add a bell to III's to "keep an eye on the jackass").

Meanwhile, II himself bears a single necklace that sports three keys. None of the others' collars have locks and can be removed at will, so the necklace he wears is a purely symbolic gesture on II's part. Something about how it "wouldn't feel right to have them tied to him without something to tie him to them in return".

But he's never approached you about getting one yourself. You've been in a courtship with the rest of the vessels for months now, but it has yet to come up. You don't want to push too much for it, instead choosing to deliberately think about it every so often when II is around. But nothing has ever happened. At least, not yet.

"You need to talk to him, you know," IV finally says. "Out loud."

You have to admit he's right. Thinking up conversations, while more than feasible with the vessels, can't always cross the kind of barriers you need to cross.

You find II in his study later that evening, reading over Vessel's latest offering and beginning to write the drum portion of it. You hear him faintly tapping at his desk as he works out the rhythm he wants. On his desk sits his mask, discarded for now.

You can come in, you know, his voice finds you through your mind. Don't have to stand out in the cold.

Gently, you walk over to him. He turns to meet you, taking your hand and pressing a kiss to your knuckles as he looks up at you.

What's on your mind, dove?

You don't particularly have it in you to say it out loud just yet, so you project to him instead.

Why haven't you given me a collar yet?

II looks at you, an unreadable expression on his face. He stands from his chair, hooking a finger under your chin to ensure you look him in the eye.

Do you want one?

Yes, you answer plainly.

"Say it then," he says aloud. "Use your words."

The tinge of dominance in his tone sends heat crawling up your face.

"I want a collar."

II smiles at you, using the finger under your chin to guide your lips to his.

"Then a collar you shall have," he says. "Give me a few days to find one. I want it to be perfect."

"You don't have to if you don't want to," you blurt out without thinking. This causes II to pause, furrowing his brows slightly.

"What makes you think I don't want to?" he asks softly.

You stumble over your words, finally managing to convey how you didn't think he wanted you to partake in that aspect of your relationship considering he hadn't brought up the subject himself yet.

Oh love, II projects to you as he pulls you in for a kiss. It's not that I didn't want to. Just wanted to take things slow. Didn't want you to feel like you had to do this.

He pulls away from you only to tilt his head forward and rest his forehead against yours.

I'll work on finding you one today. You'll know when I have one.

It's three days later when II summons you to his quarters. You're with III at the time, and he gives you a knowing look when you take your leave.

II is standing in the middle of the room when you find him, one hand behind his back and his face maskless as he extends his other hand for you to take. You place your hand in his, and he leads you to his desk, atop of which lay a selection of skeleton keys.

Pick one, he says as he stands behind you, one arm wrapping around you to rest his hand on your stomach.

"Pick one?" you ask aloud. II kisses your neck and projects to you again.

I picked yours, he says. You pick mine.

The keys on his necklace. Of course.

You look over the keys for a few moments, never once feeling rushed or as if II is in any particular hurry. He gently rubs his thumb back and forth on your stomach, resting his chin on your shoulder. Your gaze keeps returning to one key in particular: a medium-sized brass one, a simple design aside from a small sapphire inlaid in the stem of it. It reminds you of his eyes.

You pick it up, turning in II's hold to present it to him. He gives you a soft smile before bringing his hand out from behind his back to present you with your collar.

It is also a simple design. It could be mistaken for a regular choker necklace if one didn't realize what it was for; a thin leather band, with a silver o-ring in the center, and hanging from the ring is a silver pendant of two crossing scythes. It's simple and discreet, yet still a symbol of what the two of you mean to each other.

"It's perfect," you breathe, and II seems to sigh in relief.

Turn around, he says, and you obey almost on instinct. He places the collar around your neck, adjusting the buckle tighter and looser depending on your feedback until it feels snug, but not constrictive. Just to make sure it's not too tight, he slips two fingers beneath it before allowing you to turn back to face him.

He hands you the key you've chosen, and removes the necklace that bears the other three from around his neck. He extends it to you for you to take, and you gently thread your key onto it before he turns his back to you as well.

It takes little time for you to drape the necklace over him and re-fasten it around his neck, after which he turns around and brings his hands up to your jawline. II brings you in for a kiss, then another, then another. As he pulls away from you, he hangs one finger from the ring in your collar, not quite tugging you but rather settling as a weight.

You wanna give this a go now, or wait until later? he asks. You gaze at him, his pupils dilated and his features soft.

Now, you reply.

II gives you a grin, his sharp canines gleaming at you.

"Beautiful."

He guides you to the bed, sitting down at the edge of it as he tugs at your collar.

Kneel.

You obey on instinct, settling onto your knees in front of him. His legs spread, and you can see the imprint of him in his pants, already hard with a noticeable wet patch.

II tugs down his pants, just enough to release his cock to the open air. Leaning forward, he hooks a finger into your collar and begins to bring you forward.

Open that pretty mouth for me, he instructs, taking himself in one hand and guiding your mouth to him.

He keeps perfect control over your pace with a grip on the collar. Any time you attempt to move too fast, he gently pulls you backwards until you slow to his preference. The weight of him on your tongue, coupled with the scent and taste of him, sends a shock of arousal pulsing through your veins. The sensation is only heightened when you hear low groans and throaty growls coming from the man above you.

However, II doesn't wish to come down your throat. Not this time.

Alright, he says after a time, once again pulling you back and off of him by the collar. On your feet.

You stand slowly, limbs stiff from remaining in one place. Your hands find II's shoulders as you stand between his legs, and he leans forward to press a kiss to the center of your chest over your clothes. He says nothing as he disrobes you, helping you step out of your pants and underwear before lifting your other garments away from your torso.

On the bed, love, he says after a kiss to your collarbone. Hands and knees. Present yourself for me.

You do as he asks, feeling vulnerable and exposed, but not necessarily in a negative way. You can feel II's appreciative gaze from behind you, enhanced by the bridge to his mind. A soft hand grazes the skin of your ass before he trails it up your back and to your collar. He turns it until the ring is facing him, then grips it to ground you.

"Ready?" he asks aloud. You attempt to nod, but the collar keeps you in place, so you hum in the affirmative.

II enters you slowly, combining the use of his hips with the pull of your collar to help sheathe himself fully. His breath is shallow as he stills, allowing you precious time to adjust to the girth of him.

Fuck, you look so fucking good like this, he praises. That collar feel good still?

You once again give him an affirmative hum, unable to think of much else besides the feeling of fullness and the pressure of the leather band against your throat.

He starts slow, letting you feel every inch of his cock as it drags through you. You allow yourself to let the rest of the world fall away, leaving just the two of you in your thoughts. Nothing else matters right now, only II and his movements.

Over time, his pace increases, and the grip on your collar gets more firm. One of II's hands finds your hip, helping to bring you back onto him. After a bit longer of being at his mercy, he shifts, pushing at your collar instead of pulling, sending your head and upper torso down onto the mattress below. His other hand comes to rest next to your head, helping to take some of the pressure off of your neck to ensure your airflow is never cut off.

Touch yourself, he commands. Wanna feel you come around my cock like this.

Your hand moves of its own accord, your mind empty except for the bliss coursing through your veins. II's pace has increased to a fever pitch, helped along by his particular inhuman ability of speed. The knot in your core tightens to a nearly unbearable degree, and it only takes one slight tug of your collar to make the coil snap.

You come hard, vision blurring at the edges as you cry out. II slows somewhat, allowing you to stave off the pressure of overstimulation while still chasing his own high.

The cycle continues again, however, and you come twice more before II's pace even begins to falter from its steady rhythm. Suddenly, he drapes himself over you, pressing his weight down over your back as he keeps a grip on your collar. With one final press, he buries himself to the hilt, a deep groan reverberating from his lungs as he fills you.

Little noise can be heard now aside from your heavy breaths, coupled with the quiet sound of II's lips against your skin from behind.

So good, he projects to you. Did so fucking well, dove.

You bask in the glow as II slowly removes himself from you, padding over to the attached bathroom to fetch something to clean you with. He'd already prepared a glass of water on the bedside table, though how you missed it until now will remain a mystery to you.

II returns, sitting next to you on the bed. He runs a gentle hand over your skin before he begins to tend to you, his touch so soft it nearly puts you to sleep. No words are said, none are even projected. Just thoughts of care, tenderness, and appreciation.

The keys around his neck catch the light every so often, reminding you that he belongs to you just as much as you belong to him.

#ii x reader #sleep token x reader #smut #ghost scribbles

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mapsthewanderer · 3 months ago

Text

Plated IV

The knives are sharp. The heat’s real. Love has no place here—so why does it keep showing up?

Synopsis: In a heat-soaked kitchen where pressure simmers and perfection is law, you stand shoulder to shoulder with a team of brilliant misfits—each carrying their own scars, secrets, and fire.

From Caleb’s controlled intensity to Sylus’s velvet power plays, Rafayel’s chaotic beauty, Zayne’s surgical focus, and Xavier’s quiet steadiness, every shift cuts deeper than the last.

This is a story of tension, taste, and slow-burn hearts—where trust is plated, feelings are forbidden, and love might just be the most dangerous ingredient.

Details: 8600ish words (omg sorry). The Bear AU. Non MC! reader. 18+ harem drama. Sylus insisted on taking the day off—so, you’ll be getting to know Raf a little (okay, a lot) better. Consider this my dedicated Raf and Sylus chapter (so far), with bonus appearances from Xav the star and Zayne, the… umh no spoilers. It’s time to start climbing out of the mess. Expect slow-burn, banter, flirting, stress, kindness, and yes—some (adult) fluff. All part of the build-up for what’s coming next (next one is probably Zayne bonanza).

Chapters: pilot, chapter one, chapter two, chapter three, chapter five, chapter six, chapter seven

Tags: @gavin3469 @animegamerfox @beaconsxd

Character | Chapter four

You wake up aching.

Not in a bad way—nothing bruised but your pride, and honestly… not even that. Just a warm, bone-deep soreness that makes you stretch slow and smile to yourself before your brain catches up.

Xavier.

Last night.

… Last night.

You exhale, pressing your palms to your face, grinning into your fingers like a guilty little secret is trapped behind them. You turn your head slightly, half-expecting to still be in his bed—but you’re home. Tucked in. Hair still faintly smelling of his detergent.

You roll out of bed, tug on soft clothes, and do your best not to think about the one thing looming today.

Sylus.

Before you can overthink it, your fingers are already moving—typing fast, like if you don’t ask quickly, you’ll talk yourself out of it.

YOU: Hey. Just checking— Is it really okay if I take today off? Or… even a few days?

You hesitate. Thumb hovering. Then hit send.

The message feels too light for what you’re asking.

But it’s already gone.

Your phone buzzes just as you reach for coffee. You glance at the screen, half-dreading it.

SYLUS: You woke me. Bold move, chef.

You blink. Check the time. It’s nearly noon.

Another message pings, slower this time—smoother.

SYLUS: Still recovering from last night’s wine selection. And your taste in distractions.

You bite your lip. Your thumbs hover.

YOU: Wait…You really meant it? About me taking the day off?

Another message, quickly after:

YOU: I mean— Are you sure?

You hold your breath.

The reply takes a moment. Then—

SYLUS: Are you questioning my generosity? Or just afraid of what you’ll do with it?

You almost laugh. Almost.

And then the real message arrives:

SYLUS: You’re off the schedule. Zayne’s running the pass. I’ve deployed every favor, threat, and underpaid chef at my disposal to fill your spot. Take the day, chef.

A final ping, no flourish this time:

SYLUS: I’ll be at the restaurant after close. If you need to talk.

You stare at the screen. The weight of last night still blooming across your skin like fingerprints you don’t want to wash away.

Sylus always sees the storm coming.

And today?

He’s giving you shelter.

Even if it feels like warning.

You thumb open your messages again. Hesitate. Then type:

YOU: Sorry for being a mess. I swear it won’t affect the line.

The reply comes faster than expected.

SYLUS: It will. If you don’t take the time. Rest. Or I’ll make it mandatory.

Your thumb hovers over the keyboard.

You stare at the blinking cursor.

One word typed. Deleted. Typed again. Deleted.

You shouldn’t ask. You don’t want to need the answer.

But the silence around it is louder than any service bell.

You think about his voice, the empty place on the line, how he looked at you like a future and a mistake at the same time.

Caleb.

You type the words.

YOU: Did you fire him?

And then you wait.

Not breathing. Not blinking.

Just waiting for the man who never answers anything directly to decide if this time—he will.

The typing bubble appears.

Disappears.

Appears again.

Then stops.

No answer.

Just silence.

Then, finally—

SYLUS: Caleb won’t be stepping into Plated anytime soon.

Another pause. The message hangs in the thread like condensation on cold glass.

SYLUS: He’s walking his own path. And I’ve stopped trying to reroute him.

A pause. Another bubble appears.

SYLUS: You don’t hold a kitchen by burning through it. Try not to scorch yourself, chef.

You sit with that for a moment, phone cradled loosely in your hands. For all the velvet menace, the sharp suits and sharper eyes—he’s kind.

Not gentle.

But kind.

And right now?

That’s enough to steady you.

The apartment is bathed in that rare, sun-drenched glow that only early spring can manage—warm but new, just on the edge of real heat. You pad barefoot through the kitchen, the wood floor pleasantly cool beneath your soles as you crunch into a perfectly ripe pear. Sweet. Sharp. Sticky juice gathers at the corners of your mouth—and that’s when you feel it. A faint throb, low and lingering at your lower lip. A bruise.

You wince, dabbing the corner of your mouth with your thumb as you pass the hallway mirror. The light catches just right, and yeah—there it is. Not awful, but visible. A soft, blooming smudge of a darker shade at the curve of your lip. You grab your gloss from the side table, swipe on a tinted coat—just enough shimmer to blur the edges. Camouflage by hydration. Nothing to see here.

You’re halfway to the door, sunglasses already perched atop your head, purse slung over your shoulder, tasting the day like something freshly opened. Your hoodie’s soft. Your jeans are worn just right. You feel loose for the first time in this day.

And there’s a whole day ahead.

You think about walking. About just… moving. Maybe down by the canal, where the cherry trees are starting to blush. Maybe you’ll stop by the new Asian market around the corner—see what treasures they’ve got. You could make something slow tonight. A proper meal. Braised fish with fermented black beans. Maybe something with lychee. Use the nice rice. Open the good oil…

The possibilities bloom as you move—small luxuries you’ve denied yourself for weeks, now suddenly right there. Yours. You earned this break. Sylus gave it like a command, but you’ve taken it like a gift.

You toss the pear core, then smooth out the gloss again in the mirror by the door. Just in case. The sunlight outside is warm enough to melt stress off your skin, and you smile—genuinely, softly, because it feels good to mean it.

And then—

Your phone buzzes.

RAFAYEL: hiii, flame. You busy?

You pause in the doorway, pear juice still glossing your fingertips. The message pulses against your palm, harmless—but knowing Raf?

There’s no such thing as casual.

You hesitate, thumb hovering.

Then, smudging the remains of juice from the corner of your mouth with the back of your wrist, you type:

YOU: Not really. Why?

It takes a few seconds. Then:

RAFAYEL: Feeling kinda bleh after yesterday. Everything was weird. Wanna be my pick-me-up?

You pause again, guilt tugging at your gut. Raf had been trying to host something nice, and the group chaos completely derailed it. You turn in the doorway and move to the sink, washing your hands in cool, running water. You dry them on a nearby towel, before you type:

YOU: Sure. What are we doing?

His response comes almost immediately.

RAFAYEL: Already signed us up. You’re gonna love it. Dress light. No heels. Bring curiosity and low expectations :*

YOU: What does that mean??

RAFAYEL: Chocolate studies. 12 PM. You’re my emotional support truffle taster now. You don’t get a say. See you there.

Chocolate studies.

Of course. Of course this is how Raf picks himself back up—by dragging you into a high-end, unnecessary, probably vaguely sensual workshop about cocoa. Yet—

YOU: Shouldn’t you be at work?

RAFAYEL: Shouldn’t you also be at work?

YOU: Touché.

RAFAYEL: Besides, I move on a more artistic schedule than the rest of you kitchen trolls. Also I had a hunch you’d be off today, so—guess what? It’s my day off too.

YOU: Did Sylus say it was fine?

RAFAYEL: Flame, puh-lease. I said it was fine. And he muttered something vague and terrifying in Latin, so I took that as a yes.

RAFAYEL: Anyway—it’s technically culinary research. It involves tasting. It’s chocolate. It’s extremely relevant to my line of genius.

YOU: This is you taking dessert way too seriously again.

RAFAYEL: Correction: this is me rescuing you from the spiral you were clearly about to dive into.

YOU: I spiral efficiently, thank you.

RAFAYEL: Oh, I know. You told me that the morning before the critic showed up. Remember?? Naturally, I’m dying to see your technique. So. Let’s spiral. Together. We’ll make it couture. With truffles.

You stare at your screen.

You check the time. You’ll just make it if you hustle.

And honestly? It’s exactly the kind of distraction you need.

Ten minutes later, you’re outside in the golden spring sunlight, walking toward the address Raf sent you—some absurdly bougie culinary studio nestled between boutique flower shops and quiet cafés. The sign on the door reads:

——————————————————————————

Private Class – Chocolate, Chemistry, Craving.

——————————————————————————

You pause.

The door swings open before you can knock, and Raf is standing there—wearing a linen shirt, sunglasses on his head, and that charming, slightly smug smile that screams I bought this class because I felt sad and rich.

“Perfect timing,” he says, stepping aside to let you in. “Our chocolate awaits.”

You blink at him.

“You okay?”

He shrugs, lips twitching like he doesn’t want to admit it. “Eh. We’ll talk. But first—let’s get a little messy.”

Then, unexpectedly, he pulls you into a hug.

Not dramatic. Not prolonged.

But real.

His arms loop around you like fabric meant to drape, not confine. Warm, grounding, floral-scented. He squeezes—just once—and murmurs near your ear, softer than usual:

“The real question is… are you okay, little flame?”

Before you can answer, he lets go like nothing happened, smoothing out an imaginary wrinkle in your sleeve.

Then he catches your hand in his—elegant, confident, no hesitation—and tugs you toward the door.

“Come on. There’s chocolate that needs judging. Let’s earn our sugar crash.”

The space smells like heaven. Not the fake-sweet, candy-store kind—this is rich, warm, expensive. Notes of vanilla, toasted nuts, and something darker linger in the air, wrapping around you like a silk robe.

Raf leads you through the space like he’s been here a dozen times. You’re not even sure if he’s taken the class before or if his sheer confidence just wills doors open and people to nod.

“Tell me you didn’t bribe someone to get this spot,” you murmur, glancing around at the pristine marble counters and soft jazz playing in the background.

“I didn’t bribe anyone,” he says smoothly, then adds, “Just… implied I was going through something emotionally complex.”

“Ah,” you say. “Weaponized charm.”

“Correct.” He offers a small bow.

You’re handed aprons—black, minimalist, high quality. The kind of thing that says we’re learning… but glamorously. There’s a petite instructor named Lisette, who has the serene energy of someone who could build an entire tasting empire from her sheer passion for chocolate.

She gives a quick intro about the origins of cacao, the alchemy of heat and tempering, and how chocolate isn’t just a treat—it’s an experience.

Raf leans in, voice low like you’re co-conspirators. “Did you hear that, Flame? She gets it.”

You smirk. “Are we actually learning something, or are you planning to flirt with chocolate until your serotonin resets?”

He winks. “Both.”

Lisette sets you up with tempered slabs, bowls of molten ganache, and trays of infused truffles for scent testing. Raf rolls up his sleeves with unnecessary flair, like he’s preparing for an edible art installation.

He’s in his element. Bright-eyed, hands steady, focused in a way you rarely see when he’s surrounded by people. You realize—this isn’t just a distraction. It’s personal.

“You’re weirdly good at this,” you murmur as he pipes an elegant swirl onto a petit four. “Like, intimidatingly good.”

Raf glances at you, smile softening into something quieter. “Didn’t go to culinary school.”

You blink. “What?”

He shrugs. “Didn’t have the money. Or the patience. Or maybe I just didn’t believe I could do it.”

That throws you for a second. Raf? Doubting himself?

“I was working some low-end bakery gig,” he continues, attention back on the chocolate. “Decorating cupcakes in a strip mall with buttercream that came in buckets. And then one day Sylus just—showed up. Tried a raspberry truffle I’d been messing around with, didn’t say a word about it. Next day, he offered me a job.”

You stare at him.

His smile curves a little sharper, a little prouder.

“Sylus sent me to Copenhagen first. Said if I was going to be good, I had to learn where the best got weird. Then Paris. Then Switzerland, Austria, Naples… I apprenticed. Shadowed. Ate things that changed how I understood temperature.”

He flicks a chocolate crumb off his sleeve, casual as ever.

“All experience. All instinct. No degree. Just a few stamps in my passport and a terrifying ability to pair florals with acid.”

Your lips part, stunned by the imagery. Not just Raf’s quiet doubt, but Sylus stepping in—seeing something, doing something—without ever needing credit.

“He doesn’t show it,” Raf adds, more to the ganache than to you, “but he pays attention. Picks people up when they’re about to burn out.”

You’re quiet for a second. Processing. “I didn’t know that about either of you.”

Raf shrugs like it’s no big deal. “Wasn’t planning to share it. Chocolate makes me sentimental.”

You nudge his arm gently. “I like sentimental Raf.”

He smiles. “Don’t get used to it.”

But then… he hesitates. Just for a second. His hands still, the piping bag hovering mid-air like his brain forgot what it was doing.

“I mean—” he starts, then glances sideways at you, lips tugging like he’s trying to hold something back. “You’re kind of the reason I’m still doing this, you know.”

You blink. “What, chocolate?”

“Nooo,” he says, softer now. “This place. This job. The whole circus.”

He sets the piping bag down, more carefully than he needs to, and turns toward you. The light from the window catches on the gloss of melted cocoa across his wrist, but his eyes are what hold you—clear, impossible to misread.

“I’ve thought about leaving,” he says. “So many times. I have the name now. The attention. I could open a patisserie somewhere absurd and overpriced and live off tartlets and scandal.”

You laugh, quietly.

But he doesn’t.

“I stayed because of you, Flame.”

Your breath catches.

He shrugs, like it’s no big thing. But it is.

“You make it feel worth showing up. You remind me this doesn’t have to be soul-crushing. That it can still be… joy. Even in the madness.”

The words hit you like warmth straight from the oven. No dramatics. No winks. Just quiet truth, offered up in the middle of a chocolate-covered counter like it’s the most natural thing in the world.

Your throat tightens.

“Smell this one,” he says, holding a tiny square under your nose. “Cinnamon and yuzu. Bold, dramatic, slightly unhinged. A little like someone I know.”

You raise a brow. “Is that supposed to be me?”

“Absolutely.”

You throw a dusting of cocoa powder at him.

He gasps like you’ve mortally wounded him, flings a berry back at you, and just like that—things snap back into their usual rhythm. But that softness doesn’t leave the air.

And even as he laughs and flirts and swipes ganache across your nose with dramatic flair, the words stick.

I stayed because of you.

Soon you’re elbow-deep in the process, and for a while, it’s easy. Fun. You both laugh. Raf makes you rate every flavor on a made-up scale he calls “emotional resonance per melt second.”

But eventually, you catch the quiet shift.

The way Raf’s hands pause a beat longer over the molded chocolate. The way his gaze flickers toward the window, where sunlight spills over the countertops.

“You okay?” you ask softly.

He doesn’t answer right away.

Then he lets out a slow breath. “I wanted it to be a good night. That’s all.”

“It wasn’t your fault,” you say.

“I know,” he replies, too quickly. Then shrugs, looking off toward a tray of dark chocolate curls like they might offer wisdom. “But still. I like when we’re all… okay. Together.”

You hesitate, then murmur, “Might’ve been… umh… a little my fault.”

Raf turns, one perfectly shaped brow lifting. His eyes flick briefly to your lip—then back to your eyes, a slow smirk curling.

“Mm. I figured,” he says, voice all honey and trouble. “That doesn’t look like kitchen stress, Flame.”

You brace—but he just waves a hand, flicking imaginary dust into the air.

“I don’t pry,” he says. “Don’t care who’s sleeping with who, or not sleeping, or emotionally combusting in the dry storage.” Then, gentler: “Just want the vibe back. You know? I don’t need group therapy. I need group harmony. We’re artists. We fall apart together.”

He nudges your elbow lightly with his own. “So. Fix it. Elegantly. With frosting, if possible.”

You rest your hand on the edge of the table beside his, close but not quite touching.

“You’re a good glue person,” you say gently.

He gives a half-laugh. “Puh-lease, that sounds so unhealthy.”

“Only mildly,” you smile. “But also kind of beautiful.”

He looks over at you. His smile returns, softer this time. “Thanks for coming, Flame. I needed this.”

Raf leans in with another chocolate sample, holding it between two fingers like an offering.

“Try this,” he says. “I swear it tastes like hope.”

You take it. You bite.

He’s right.

The chocolate is warm. Rich. Melts the moment it touches your tongue.

But it’s nothing compared to the heat under your skin—the low hum of tension in your body that still hasn’t faded since last night. Not fully.

Because Xavier was… a lot. And no matter how much sleep or tea or luxurious ganache you drown yourself in, your body remembers. It’s still running on nerves and overstimulated afterglow, like every cell has forgotten how to relax.

And now Raf is here. Warm, charming, painfully pretty in the sunlight, making you laugh like nothing ever hurt. And your body—traitorous, sensitive, greedy—is trying to decide whether to melt or combust.

He doesn’t miss the way your breath catches when his hand brushes yours during a tasting. Or how you shift slightly away when he leans in a little too close. Not in rejection, just… overload. You’re full of feelings, and your skin is already singing.

His smile falters for half a second. Just a flicker.

But then he straightens, schooling it into something lighter.

“You know,” he says, gently swirling a spoon in a bowl of molten dark chocolate, “you’re really not one for affection in public, huh?”

You look up, guilt tightening in your chest.

“Raf, I’m—”

He lifts a hand, stopping you with a warm, quiet look. “It’s okay. I get it. Not your thing. That’s allowed.”

You feel the guilt shift. Morph into something tender. Grateful. But then—he does something stupid.

He steps in closer, thumb brushing the corner of your mouth—wiping away a tiny smear of chocolate you hadn’t noticed. The second he touches you, you feel it: the bruise, the tender throb, the warm pressure of his skin against yours.

His thumb lingers, dragging slow across your lip, pressing just enough to make the ache flare. Then, without a word, he brings that same thumb to his mouth. His lips close around the tip, his stare still locked with yours. Loaded. Hungry.

It’s nothing.

It’s everything.

Your breath stutters. Your entire nervous system flares like it just got rebooted. Because his thumb lingered for a second too long. Because he watched your face, and you know he saw it—the ripple under your skin. The goosebumps. The chaos.

He smirks softly. “That did something to you, didn’t it?”

You narrow your eyes. “You’re insufferable.”

“And yet…” He steps back, palms raised in mock surrender, but the warmth in his voice is unmistakable. “My little flame is absolutely forgiven now.”

You laugh. Quiet. Wrecked in a new way.

He doesn’t push it further. Just gives you a chocolate truffle shaped like a heart and walks away with a wink.

And your body?

Still doesn’t know what the hell to do with itself.

You pop the truffle in your mouth mostly to shut yourself up, but it doesn’t help. If anything, the rush of flavor—rich, bittersweet, stupidly sensual—makes everything worse.

Your skin still tingles where his thumb brushed. That easy charm of his—that smirk wrapped in silk—is suddenly quieter. Warmer. A little more dangerous.

And now Raf is looking at you like that.

Like you’re not just forgiven. Like you’re something sweet he’s been saving. Something decadent. Melting.

You glance at the truffles cooling behind him. Think about chocolate—how it’s long been called an aphrodisiac, how it opens blood vessels, stirs the pulse, wakes heat just beneath the skin.

And now his voice is echoing in your head.

My little flame is absolutely forgiven.

Maybe that’s what he’s tasting now. Not chocolate.

You.

You try to keep things light. Casual. But your brain short-circuits, and suddenly the words are leaving your mouth before you can stop them.

“Where can we make out?”

He blinks.

You stare at him, wide-eyed, mildly horrified, but also too far gone to take it back.

“I—sorry. I just…” You gesture vaguely toward the chocolate, your body, the entire room. “I need to get this out of my system. Now. Immediately. I don’t care if we’re in public. I’m—melting.”

Raf blinks again. Then grins.

He steps in close, too close, like he’s about to say yes and sweep you into a very well-lit corner of a very expensive chocolate studio. You feel his breath at your jaw. He leans in like he’s about to kiss you and—

Stops.

You blink at him, lips parted.

He looks at you gently, gaze suddenly clearer, softer, and much more dangerous. His hand lifts to rest lightly on your waist. Not pulling, just grounding.

“Not here,” he says, voice low. “Not with fluorescent lighting and Lisette judging our technique from three feet away.”

You exhale—half frustrated, half achingly grateful.

Raf pulls back just enough, lips quirking in that easy, infuriating way. “I’ll bring the chocolate. The good stuff. We’ll do this properly.”

You raise an eyebrow. “Properly…?”

He leans in—just enough for the soft scent of dark chocolate and spice to wrap around you.

“Slow,” he murmurs, voice like poured ganache. “Sweet. Possibly blindfolded. Definitely ruined.”

Then, with the barest shift, he straightens a little, curls falling forward as his mouth quirks up—less smirk, more promise.

“Or,” he continues, casually reaching for a truffle he doesn’t eat, “a sailboat. Secluded port. Copenhagen.”

His fingers trace idle circles on the countertop, like he’s drawing out the idea in real time.

“I’ll show you the markets. The coastline. Let you drive me mad somewhere between dessert and dusk.”

His eyes find yours again—cool rose-hued shadows beneath long lashes, masked but unmistakably knowing.

Then he leans in, lips a breath from yours, close enough that your pulse skips, but far enough that the kiss remains just a suggestion—one he clearly enjoys not giving.

“I know a bakery,” he says, voice soft like a stolen secret. “Hidden little place near a bridge. No menu. Just a chalkboard and a woman who bakes like it’s a love language.”

He grins then, slow and dangerous.

“I want to see you tear into something fresh from her oven. Crumbs on your lips. That look in your eyes.”

A pause, then quieter:

“Copenhagen’s lovely in spring...”

He doesn’t kiss you. He just lets the moment linger—warm and rich and aching—with that sinful smile of his. Like dessert served just out of reach.

“We’ll see who melts first,” he says, lower now. “But I’m betting on you, little flame.”

Your knees wobble.

He grins. “As soon as possible, then?”

And just like that, he turns back toward the truffle station, completely casual, humming to himself like he didn’t just derail your whole internal operating system.

Everything is a mess.

And it’s only noon.

——————————————————————————

You barely make it home before the scream escapes you.

Face down in your pillow, you let out a sound that’s somewhere between a sob and a laugh—feral, exhausted, done. Your body is vibrating with leftover tension, confusion, and whatever flavor of emotional whiplash comes from being flirted with by three completely different men in a 24-hour window.

You push yourself upright, hair a tousled halo, skin warm and flushed, and you swear—you smell like melted chocolate. Sweet and heady, clinging to your skin like memory. There’s a trace of it on your lips, in the corner of your mouth, and the heat of it still hums low in your chest. You mutter:

“I need eggs. And authority over something. Anything.”

You march to the kitchen and make yourself the fanciest omelette your dignity will allow. Gruyère, caramelized onions, fresh herbs, a sprinkle of flaky salt like a damn chef’s kiss. You fold it perfectly, plate it like you’re on a magazine cover, and eat it slowly—like it’ll save you. Like it might remind your body you still know how to nourish it.

But halfway through the third bite, you reach for your phone. Type quick, like sealing a pact with yourself.

YOU: Taking the day off. Officially.

The response is instant.

XAVIER: Figured. Did you find the chamomile tea yet?

You glance at your jacket, reach into the pocket, and pull out the tea bag—still there, slightly crumpled but intact.

You snap a quick selfie—hair tousled, eyes soft. You hold the tea bag up beside your cheek and kiss it with exaggerated tenderness, brows raised like you know exactly what you’re doing.

Send.

A beat.

Then your phone buzzes:

XAVIER: Cute 🐰🎀. Next time, pick something that kisses back.

You roll your eyes and shake your head, a soft laugh puffing out. Of course he would say that. Of course…

You try to shake it off—try to stay grounded in the scent of caramelized onion still in the air—but there’s a warmth curling in your chest now.

You take another bite.

Let yourself savor it. Slowly.

One golden forkful at a time.

Then, the spa begins.

Facial. Hair mask. Legs shaved like you’re preparing for a date with your soul. Candles lit. Lo-fi beats playing like you’re not desperately spiraling in a silk robe. You pour over your wine notes like you’re in sommelier school. Compare flavor profiles. Create a cheese pairing menu you’ll never serve anyone but yourself.

It works.

Almost.

For a few minutes, your brain lets go. It floats—lazy, soft—drifting somewhere imagined but vivid.

You start thinking about Raf.

Not under kitchen lights. Not muttering about desserts. But on a sailboat moored in some secluded inlet just off Copenhagen’s edge. The sky is clear, the sun low and golden.

He’s layered in sleek, Nordic couture—minimalist, elegant, unforgivingly expensive. A soft graphite turtleneck hugs his throat like it was spun from fog, disappearing beneath a sharply cut coat in ash-blue wool. The silhouette is precise, tailored within an inch of sin. A broad scarf—half rich ochre, half muted charcoal—is knotted with careless perfection, the plush wool thick and fringed, fluttering faintly in the wind like it knows it’s part of a look. Buttery-soft leather mittens—thin, elegant, unlined for spring—dangle from one hand, unused. And his hair, plum-dark and windswept, catch in the breeze like they were painted there.

He looks like a magazine ad that developed a soul.

There’s a paper bag between you on the sun-warmed deck. Pastries from a bakery he insisted on—delicate things with names you can’t pronounce. You break one in half. He watches you eat it, eyes tracking your mouth like it’s art he helped frame.

And then he says something ridiculous and perfect like, “You chew with such conviction, little flame. I’m in love.”

You almost laugh.

Almost stay there.

But then—

Xavier.

Caleb.

Sylus.

Too much.

Too many heat sources. Too many people who know exactly how to touch you and none who know what to do with you after.

You step into the shower.

Second time in two hours.

This time, it’s cold.

Ice cold.

You don’t flinch. Not at first. Then—you scream. Quietly. Once. Into the stream. Just to let it out.

Water pelts down your back like punishment, or maybe absolution. And as it numbs your skin, your thoughts begin to slow.

… Zayne.

Of course.

Zayne—cool, composed, annoyingly steady.

Zayne, with his clean knife work and colder words. The only one who hasn’t burned you lately. The only one who never tried to melt you in his hands. Back in school, it had been the same—Caleb loud and brilliant at the front, but it was Zayne beside you, calm and steady, who made you feel like you could hold the line. Like you already were.

Maybe… maybe that’s what you need.

Not heat. Not fire.

Cold.

Steady.

Something surgical.

You turn off the water. Step out, still dripping, and brace your palms on the sink. Your reflection looks flushed and exhausted and just barely stitched back together.

But your jaw sets.

“I need to work,” you whisper. “That’s all. Just work.”

You grab your towel. Move like muscle memory—wrapping, drying, dressing with mechanical calm. Kitchen pants. Tee. Jacket slung over your arm.

You pin your hair back in silence. Pull on your boots. Pocket your keys. Then you pause at the hallway mirror.

You stare yourself down.

The light catches the faint smear of pink rising at your collarbone, the ghost of a bruise just barely blooming at the corner of your mouth. You press your lips together, then let them part—checking the damage, checking the memory.

It looks like chaos. It looks like being wanted.

It looks like the kind of mess you only make when you’re trying to outrun yourself.

You breathe out. Slow.

You smooth your shirt. Adjust your jacket. Tilt your chin, just slightly.

Not perfect.

But here.

You stare yourself down, eyes locked in the glass.

“I’m a cook,” you whisper. “But I’m also human.” Your voice catches. But you don’t back down. “And I can fall apart. I can get messy. I can want too much. But I still belong in that kitchen.”

A beat. A breath. The smallest shake of your head.

“Sylus was wrong. I don’t need rest. I need rhythm. I need the line. I need the burn. I need the chaos to mean something.”

Your fingers curl at your sides, grounding.

“Because I’m not just built for this—I was made for this.”

You hold your own gaze a moment longer, throat tightening.

“I’m the anchor.”

The words fall out low, but sure.

“I keep the line steady. I hold when the rest of them start to slip. That’s what I do. That’s what I’ve always done.”

Your reflection doesn’t argue.

“And if I lose that—if I fall—this whole place sways.”

You swallow, straighten your spine.

“So I don’t get to fall.”

You exhale once, clean and hard.

“I don’t need Caleb to steady me.”

A breath.

“I hold,” you whisper.

Another beat.

Your gaze sharpens, quiet but solid.

“I can do this without him. I am the anchor.”

Then you nod to yourself. One sharp, final motion—like sealing a pact. And softer, with the weight of everything behind it:

“I believe in you.”

And you turn.

And open the door.

——————————————————————————

You walk through the service doors and the sound hits first:

Voices bounce off steel and tile—unfamiliar voices. Confident, but disconnected. The brigade feels doubled, maybe tripled, but there’s no cohesion. Just a flurry of sharp skills with dulled purpose.

Hired hands. One-night miracles. Sylus’s trick.

They fill the space like they’ve always belonged, but the energy’s off. There’s no rhythm. No real pulse. Just survival.

You give a silent nod to the expeditor, signaling you’ll take a backline role. Your station’s already prepped. You’re placed next to Xavier, whose eyes flick to you once—just once—and then back to his cutting.

Acknowledged. Nothing more.

Because Zayne is at the head. Holding the line with precision. Focus. Control.

But it’s slipping.

Zayne’s holding it together through sheer force, but it’s fraying. You see it in the clip of his voice, the way his orders punch the air instead of thread it. His jaw’s locked tight, unmoving. Focused, yes—but brittle. His body moves with memory, not ease.

He’s not blinking enough.

And he feels it.

You see it. Then—

A shift behind you. Quiet. Soft. Not footsteps, just presence.

You feel him before he speaks—a gentle graze of his fingers down your back. Just… a reminder. That he’s there. And that maybe you shouldn’t be.

“What are you doing here, Second set?” Xavier murmurs, low. “Besides making me nervous.”

You glance sideways. Blue eyes are soft but sharp. Studying you. Reading more than you’re ready to say.

You shrug. “Call it instinct.”

“Call it obsession,” he counters gently. “You shouldn’t—”

“But I’m here.”

His lips press together—just barely a smile, just barely frustration. “You always are.”

And then, like mist, he’s gone. Moving through the kitchen like a ghost made of quiet judgment. Not angry. Just… watchful.

You’re left with the heat of his touch still fading across your spine. And Zayne—still blinking too little. Still trying too hard. Still about to break.

And you?

You tighten your apron.

Because if it comes down to it—

You’ll catch the line before it falls.

You move in.

Quiet at first. A whisper here. A plate corrected there.

Until he misfires. An order goes out too early. Dishes backed up. Garnish misplaced. A server’s standing at the window too long and the tension fractures.

Zayne’s voice falters. Not loud, but audible. A sharp inhale. A clipped correction. His hand tightens around the pen like it betrayed him. You see it—the way his jaw sets, the way his eyes flick to the board and don’t move.

He doesn’t say it out loud. But the guilt is immediate. Immediate and deep. Like he’s already rerunning the mistake in his head, whispering that’s on me over and over, too quiet for anyone else to hear.

And you remember.

The way it happened in school, too—during those brutal service challenges. How Zayne, calm and surgical by nature, would start to fray at the edges when the pressure pinched too hard. The hand tightening, the stare that stuck too long to a single task, like he could will the chaos into stillness.

You’d seen it then.

And you see it now.

Same tells. Same internal storm.

And just like back then—you move.

“Hold the pass,” you say, louder. Firm. Yours. “Fire table twelve again. Plate clean. Timing reset.”

Zayne doesn’t argue. He nods. Not defeated. Just relieved. He steps back a breath, letting you take it. You slip in like you never left.

He exhales, just audible over the clang of the kitchen. “Feels like school all over again.”

You glance sideways as you start calling orders, a small smile tugging at your mouth. “Then let’s pretend it is.”

And just like that—you’re both back where you started.

And you call. The kitchen answers.

“Fire table twelve. Two scallops, one lamb, walking in five.”

“Yes, Chef.”

“Hokkaido purée on the pass. Silky—not soup.”

“Yes, Chef.”

Xavier moves beside you like a second breath, matching pace without ever needing direction. He swaps out a burnt towel before you ask. Nudges the microgreens closer when your focus narrows. His calm tempers your fire—barely.

Zayne hovers on your other side, responding to your calls with the precision of muscle memory. His voice never overlaps yours, just slides into the rhythm like it was always meant to be there. He doesn’t question. Doesn’t second-guess. You catch him watching once—just once—as if confirming this is real. That you’re holding the line. And for now? He lets you.

“Check sear on those scallops. If it’s not gold, it doesn’t go.”

“Yes, Chef.”

You pivot on instinct. Spoons flick. Plates land. The pass hums beneath your control—tight, precise, steady. For now.

But it’s close.

Your voice is sharp. Clear. Orders fly. Plates land. Timing locks.

You’re not just in control.

You’re dominating.

You don’t stop to think. You just anchor. But underneath it all, you feel it—the coil tightening in your chest. That fire Sylus warned you about. That Caleb carried like a curse.

And you realize you’re not anchoring. Not really. You’re burning. And everyone’s watching.

The line keeps moving. Service flows. But your lungs feels like acid. Your fingers cramp from the grip. And still—you don’t stop.

The final table setting is about to enter—twelve more plates, twelve more chances to either break or finish strong. You hear the soft murmur from the host stand, the shuffle of coats being removed, chairs pulled out. The room breathes in again, waiting for the last performance.

You tighten your grip on the tongs. Your apron’s soaked through. And the ache in your shoulders feels like a bell tolling just beneath your skin.

But you don’t stop. Because you’re still the anchor. And the last round is yours to hold.

Until Xavier nudges your arm.

“You’re stepping out. Five minutes.”

You hesitate. You shake your head.

“I’m fine.”

He doesn’t budge. “You’re glowing like you’re about to detonate. Come on.”

You don’t have the energy to argue.

He pulls you out the back entrance—just for a moment. The night air hits like balm. Sharp. Honest.

You brace your hands on your knees.

Your shoulders shake once.

Xavier stands nearby, arms folded loosely. Watching. Guarding.

He doesn’t speak for a while.

Then:

“That bruise on your lip?” A slight smile. “Looks good on you.”

You roll your eyes, half-laughing. “Don’t start.”

His voice drops a little. “You’re not anchoring tonight, Second set. You’re burning.”

You stiffen.

“I’m fine.”

He gives you a look. Calm. Cutting. Kind.

“You’re doing great. I’m just saying… you’re starting to sound like him.”

You blink.

And you go quiet.

Because you know who he means.

And you know he’s not wrong.

But you’re not Caleb.

And this fire? You’ll carry it your way.

You push back into the kitchen—where Zayne’s waiting. Not commanding anymore, but moving cleanly in rhythm with yours. He falls into step. He thrives in it. Supporting. Not leading. Sous-chef again. And good at it.

There’s a moment, just as you hand off the next call, when your elbows bump. He doesn’t pull away.

He just says, low and even, “We still make a good team.”

Then, after a beat—his gaze steady on the pass, his hands mirroring your motion with clean precision—he adds, “Like always.”

The memory flickers between you like a shared heat. The long nights, the frantic prep, the quiet glances across the line when Caleb disappeared mid-service. The way Zayne would hold the station without ever asking, the way you would catch each other before either could drop.

“You’re on fire tonight,” he murmurs.

A pause. Measured. Meaningful.

“But careful, Ace. Fire doesn’t always choose what it takes down.”

He doesn’t look at you—but you hear it. The weight behind the warning. And the quiet, steady pride that still came with it.

You glance at him, but he’s already back to plating—like he didn’t say anything at all. But the corner of his mouth twitches. The smallest, briefest smile.

Your voices sync.

You call, he answers.

The brigade follows.

And the final plate? It sings.

——————————————————————————

The bench is cool beneath you, your posture folded in on itself—shoulders drawn, breath shallow, apron loosened like it’s the only thing still holding you together.

In the quiet hum of post-service cleanup, you think back to how Zayne left. No fuss. No lingering. Just a solid hand pressed briefly to your back—a rare gesture from him. “Thanks for taking the line,” he’d said, voice steady. And then, almost as an afterthought, he added, “Think I need a drink.”

That part stuck. Not because it was dramatic—Zayne never is—but because he so rarely says things like that aloud. He doesn’t drink unless he’s trying to shut something off. And maybe you would’ve asked, would’ve caught it, if you weren’t so fried yourself. But your body was humming, your breath shallow, your skin still stung from the heat of the night. So you just nodded, too tired to chase the meaning behind it.

And by the time you looked up again, he was gone—coat slung over his shoulder, disappearing into the dark like the night owed him something.

You barely register the sound of approaching footsteps until a soft rustle at your side pulls you back.

Xavier.

He doesn’t say anything.

Doesn’t need to.

His sleeves are rolled neatly at the forearms, his hands clean, his movements efficient even now. He stands for a moment, eyes scanning your face like he’s reading tension by the line. Then—without a word—he settles beside you, not close enough to touch, but close enough that you feel it. The choice. The weight of his presence.

From his pocket, he pulls a small, neatly wrapped candy—something sharp and citrusy from the color of the foil. He holds it between two fingers and offers it to you.

You take it with slow fingers.

He watches.

Still, nothing said.

His gaze flicks to your lip, the faint bruise just visible. He doesn’t react to it. Not directly. Just notices. Registers.

Then his hand moves again—light—and tips your chin gently toward him, thumb grazing along your jaw with no pressure, just contact.

Your eyes meet his.

You try to look away.

He doesn’t let you.

And then, with that same hand, he tugs his phone from his back pocket, flicks it open, types something—quick, precise—and turns the screen toward you.

One word glows across the screen:

Careful.

You stare at it.

When you look up again, Xavier’s already slipping the phone back into his pocket.

He leans in.

Not to kiss your lips.

Just your forehead.

A soft press. The barest pause. Like a seal. A tether.

And then—

He’s gone

And you sit alone.

Burning.

And then—presence.

A pause.

A figure settling beside you on the bench.

You don’t have to look to know who it is. The scent hits first—amber and spice, smoky and clean, like heat tucked into silk. Sylus is unmistakable. Towering.

Black blazer draped elegantly over his shoulders like it was made to fall just that way. He doesn’t sit so much as occupy the space—one knee crossed over the other, posture relaxed, hands folded loosely in his lap like he’s got all the time in the world and none of it belongs to anyone else.

He doesn’t speak right away.

Just breathes in, tasting the moment.

Then—

“I was going to ask how you’re holding up,” he murmurs, voice warm and rough like velvet brushed the wrong way. “But I think I already know.”

He doesn’t sigh. Doesn’t smirk.

Just… exists beside you.

For a while, that’s all you get. Just silence.

Then—

His fingers tap lightly once against his knee.

And he offers his hand.

Palm up.

You hesitate.

Then slide yours into his.

His skin is warm. Unshaken. Like nothing in this world could move him unless he lets it.

He stands. Brings you up with him. Wordless.

The kitchen is empty behind you. The front of house?

Even emptier.

He leads you there—quiet footsteps across worn floors—and gestures toward the bar like it’s a stage you forgot belonged to you.

The lights are low. The champagne is on ice. And Sylus moves behind the bar. He pours. Just enough. A glass for you. One for him.

Then, finally—

“Could’ve been worth celebrating,” he says softly, swirling his own glass. He doesn’t look at you. “Shame you’re too tired to raise one.”

You try to sit on the stool. You miss. Just a little. You land—but barely. Your elbow hits the bar. Your breath’s shallow. You blink down at the bubbles like they’re moving too fast.

Sylus notices. But he doesn’t reach for you again. He watches. Closely. Quietly.

Then—

“My generosity,” he murmurs, voice dipped in silk, “wasn’t wrong, was it?”

He leans against the bar, eyes unreadable. “That day off. That moment to breathe.”

You try to answer.

You really do.

Maybe to ask if Caleb’s ever coming back. If he’s still part of Plated. What Sylus knows. What he meant in his texts this morning.

What happened after they walked away?

What was said when the doors closed?

But all that comes out is air.

Just a breath that doesn’t carry words.

His mouth twitches. Not a smile. Not quite. But something close.

You drain your champagne with a sigh, heart still fluttering too fast for your liking.

“You can drink more later,” he says. “I’ll keep it cold.”

Then, with the same fluid elegance he brings to service, he tops off his own glass again. The bottle hisses softly as the champagne meets crystal—bubbles rising like a secret just uncorked.

And then—he reaches for you.

Just his hand again—open, waiting—offered like a question with no pressure behind it.

His other hand still holds the glass. But this one?

This one is for you.

You blink. “What—?”

“Come on,” he says, low and smooth. “You look like you’ve been carrying the whole brigade on your spine. We’ll sit somewhere that doesn’t require posture.”

You hesitate only a moment before placing your hand in his. His grip is steady, warm, solid. He leads you through the quiet restaurant, into the tucked-away lounge—the kind of space reserved for VIPs, where the lighting is soft, the walls listen, and the real decisions get made.

The room itself is exhaling.

Sylus sits first, settling into the couch with all the ease of someone who’s used to owning a room without ever raising his voice. He gestures lightly for you to sit beside him.

You do.

And for a while, he says nothing.

The only sound in the room is the slow, decadent fizz of champagne in his glass—like wealth whispering. It fills the silence between you without crowding it, soft and luxurious, like even the bubbles know better than to interrupt him when he’s thinking.

Then, without looking at you, he speaks. His voice quieter now, like he’s sharing something meant to live in the hush of this room only.

“I was sixteen when I learned how to make stock properly. The chef didn’t teach me. He threw a pot at my head and told me to stop being useless.”

“I dodged,” Sylus says, not unkindly. “Mostly. Caught the edge of the pot.”

You wince. “Jesus.”

His fingers lift, slow, tracing the slope of his own nose with a featherlight touch—absent, almost amused. “That’s why it’s arched. Clean break. Didn’t heal back straight.”

You stare a second too long.

“It suits you,” you murmur, before you can stop yourself.

His eyes flick to yours. Something unreadable lingers in them—quiet and crimson. Then the corner of his mouth curves, just faintly.

“Character,” he says smoothly.

You lift an eyebrow. “You mean menace.”

That earns you a sound—a low, amused hum. He leans back just enough to sip his wine. “Same thing.”

You catch it again, the way his mouth twitches like he’s tamping something down. Like compliments—especially from you—hit different.

“You really don’t hide it well,” you say, casually, like it’s not a loaded weapon. “When you like being told you’re handsome.”

Sylus doesn’t blink. Just tilts his glass toward you, the wine catching the light. “Only when it’s earned,” he says. “And only when it’s you.”

The words settle like warmth in your ribs. Then, quieter, as if he’s giving you something rarer than praise:

“After that, I read. Everything I could find. Stayed late. Burned through pans. Learned the line from the bottom up. Didn’t have a mentor. Didn’t need one. What I wanted didn’t come with help.”

You’re quiet now. Not because you’re unsure what to say, but because his voice is hypnotic. Low and warm, like a blanket thrown over your shoulders.

“I started saving,” he says. “Opened my first place at twenty-six. It bombed. The second got press. The third got stars.”

He leans back, one arm draped casually over the back of the couch, like this is just another story, just another night. But his eyes are fixed on you—steadier than before, like he’s weighing something far more valuable than his past.

“I want that for you,” he adds, voice softer now, but no less sure. “The stars. The legacy. The press, if you want it.”

A pause.

“But not the pot to the face. That’s why I’m giving you the kitchen—mine. Safe. Fierce. Yours to ruin or raise. I didn’t have that. But you can.”

And then, like it’s nothing:

“You just have to want it hard enough not to flinch.”

You glance at him—jaw relaxed, sleeves still rolled, collar undone. Not a single hair out of place. And yet there’s something in the way he’s telling you this. Like it’s not a resume. It’s a confession.

“You make it sound easy,” you murmur.

“It wasn’t,” he says at last, voice quiet but edged. Then, after a pause, he turns to you. “And it won’t be for you either. But as I said…” His gaze holds yours, steady. “It will be safe. That much, I’ll make sure of.”

You blink at that. The weight of it. The truth behind it. You shift slightly. “Why are you telling me this?”

He shrugs, his eyes still on you. “You need to cool down. And you won’t do it unless someone slows your brain for you.”

You exhale—because he’s right.

Somewhere between the champagne, the tone of his voice, and the way the room feels like a cocoon—you soften. Shoulders relax. Muscles unwind.

And then, before you can stop it, you’re leaning sideways. Your head finds its way to his lap.

He stills. You wait for a quip. A comment. A dismissive joke.

It doesn’t come.

Instead, you feel his fingers—slow and impossibly gentle—brushing against your hair. And his voice, low and patient, murmurs something soft you can’t fully catch.

But it’s enough.

You fall asleep like that. Warm. Safe.

On the lap of a man who knows how to hold silence like an art form.

——————————————————————————

You wake slowly.

The kind of slow that feels like floating—like your body forgot it had weight. There’s a soft warmth draped over you: smooth fabric, expensive, faintly scented with bergamot and something darker beneath. Amber. Sandalwood. Not yours.

You blink against the low light and realize: it’s Sylus’s blazer. Draped over you like a blanket.

You shift slightly—and only then do you register the hand resting gently against your arm. Warm. Still.

Sylus is still there. Seated. Silent.

You glance up, expecting him to be reading, on his phone, doing anything other than this. But he’s just… watching. Calmly. Like you falling asleep on him was an inevitability, not an inconvenience.

His eyes meet yours. No smirk. No teasing. Just a steady, unreadable gaze that softens—barely—when he sees you waking.

“You… covered me.”

He nods once, like it’s the most mundane observation in the world. “You were cold,” he says. Then, after a beat—his voice softer, a flicker of dry amusement—

“Unusual, for someone who burns so bright.”

He waits just long enough for it to sink in before adding, almost offhand:

“And you talk in your sleep, by the way.”

You blink. “What?”

“Just once,” he murmurs, lifting the empty glass to the light, watching how it catches nothing. “Said my name.”

You gape at him. “I did not.”

He rotates the glass without looking at you. “You did. Sounded… convincing.”

You bury your face in your hands. “I—… I’m never sleeping again.”

“That would be unfortunate,” he says, entirely unfazed. “You looked good like that.”

Your heart squeezes. Not because he says it with feeling—but because he doesn’t. Because it’s just a fact to him. Obvious. You were cold, so he fixed it. Of course.

You shift beside him on the couch, trying not to look as emotionally compromised as you feel. “That was… really kind of you, Sylus.”

He tilts his head. “Kindness isn’t performative. It’s practical, chef.”

You huff a laugh, still sleepy. “God, even your softness is intimidating.”

That earns you the smallest of smiles. Not smug. Just… real.

“I didn’t mean for this to happen,” you say, half-apologetic, half-overwhelmed.

“I know,” he replies. “If I’d thought you planned it, I wouldn’t have let it happen.”

You stare at him. “You trust me that much?”

“I read people,” he says simply. “You’re honest. Even when it’s inconvenient.”

You don’t know what to say to that. So you just sit there, wrapped in his blazer, warm from head to toe in ways that have nothing to do with body heat.

Eventually, he checks the time, glancing at the window, where the city lights are beginning to dim with the promise of dawn.

“I’ll call you a car,” he says, standing. “You’re not walking home like that.”

You nod, rising slowly. He straightens the blazer around your shoulders before pulling his hand away.

Then, as he turns to leave, he pauses—one hand on the doorframe, head angled just enough for his voice to carry back.

“Next time,” Sylus says, calm as ever, “tell me when you’re about to burn out.”

A beat. No glance over his shoulder. Just a final addendum, velvet-wrapped and absolute:

“If you insist on working—inventory. With Xavier. Nothing else.”

And then he’s gone.

Just like that.

A shadow slipping into the quiet spaces of his kingdom, still somehow managing to hold the room even in absence. The door closes with a hush, and you’re left there, wrapped in the weight of something that might’ve been a blazer—but felt like protection. Like a shield.

Like someone saw you cracking.

And chose to cover the break before it splintered deeper.

You remember what Raf said this noon, fingers dusted in cocoa and truth:

He doesn’t show it, but he pays attention.

Picks people up when they’re about to burn out.

And maybe now…

You see it.

You exhale, letting your head fall back, surrendering to the stillness around you.

It lingers, wrapping itself around you, as smooth and soft as the velvet drapes in the next room. It’s a calm that comes with age, with patience, with knowing exactly what should be heard and what never needs to be.

It’s Sylus’s silence.

Curated. Controlled. The kind that doesn’t demand attention, but commands it anyway.

And then—your phone buzzes.

A single text.

CALEB: Can we talk now? Please. I’m outside Plated.

——————————————————————————

Chapter five

——————————————————————————

Writer’s note: Geez, peepz—I’m having way too much fun. Writing Raf is like mainlining serotonin—he’s just pure joy in character form. I may have gone a bit overboard with his arc (sorry not sorry), but aaaa I love where it’s going. At this point, I don’t just want to write him—I want to book a trip to Copenhagen with him and vibe.

That said… yeah, we definitely needed that nap on Sylus’s lap. Reset button: activated. But I wanted to keep things strictly professional with Sylus in this chapter—because let’s be real, he’s not the type to take advantage. He’s kind. He’s patient. He’s the greenest flag in the entire game (imo). And yes, I absolutely made up my own nose lore for him.

All in all, I’m just really happy with where everyone’s arcs are going—and I seriously can’t wait to write more Zayne in the upcoming chapters. Things are definitely cooking, and I’m just the chaotic chef trying to keep up and take notes. What am I cooking now? Oh, just you wait. There are at least two more chapters simmering in this brain already.

And thank you—seriously—for the support. I’m kinda at a loss for words over how kind you’ve been about this AU. I’m so happy you’re enjoying it—you have no idea how much that means to me. My heart is doing backflips. Okey then, thank you for reading 🫶🏻

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prettyboykatsuki-moved · 1 year ago

Text

i've been very far home, my heart | nightowl (blooming panic)

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ tags; established relationship, hurt/comfort, feelings of inadequacy / low self worth, gn!reader (they wear heels and have manicured nails, but otherwise nondescript. no gendered language), role reversal, arguing / messy human behavior, suggestive towards the end, they are implied to be the same height 🫡

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ wc ; 3.7k (added 500 to wc in editing. ok)

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ a/n ; bro idk what happened here FDHJDKDKJ. my sleep meds were making me feel super hungover, i got a little cooked on the devils lettuce and then wrote this?? and it wasn't bad lmaoaoa??

i really like this blonde twink ive known for three days. he is like. so extremely, hilariously my type and exactly like several ppl i've dated so this end up being a reflective piece on being a giver n navigating adult relationships.

title is from where we go by jelani aryeh

The bathroom light is on.

It’s spilling underneath the door frame when you come in from work later than usual. It’s busy season, with new clientele - all of which require socializing around drinks and expensive dinners to secure them. It’s nearly 1am, and you’ve taken two Ubers to get back home from the restaurant all the way across town that you’ve been mingling at since nine.

You closed the deal though, and your boss (perhaps seeing the visible exhaustion in your eyes) has given you the go-ahead on taking a few days off. The consulting part of your financial advising job could wait until Monday, which was a relief to hear. You came home expecting Nightowl to be up. He’s always up this late, and when he is - he rarely limits himself to one room in the apartment. You have a routine to it. You sleep in the dark bedroom and Owl tries not to make so much noise as to wake you.

You texted him you’d be late, and he’d read it but didn’t reply. Too worn down to think anything of It at the time, you slept on two car rides rather irresponsibly and were unsure of what to feel when your apartment didn’t have any lights from the outside upon arrival. Youwalked in after that, wondering if your eyes had been playing tricks. But the house was still dark, both upstairs and down stairs - in the bedroom and in the office. The only place you could find any trace of life was in the bathroom.

You’ve only left your bag on the couch downstairs. Worry makes your brows furrow as you turn the door knob to your shared bathroom and walk in. The clinical scent of bleach is the first thing to grasp your senses, jolting you awake from the haze of steam and leftover buzz of alcohol.

You cough a little, and find Nightowl on the bathroom floor. There’s a bottle of peach soju on the counter, and a few open packets of developer and mixing bowls. Owl is drunk already you think, or at the very least tipsy, moreso than you. The hot blush on his skin makes you think he’s been at it for a while. You try not to monitor his liquor intake too much, but the concern you feel is immediate and not helped by where you find him.

His body is slumped against the gray wall closes to the tub, sitting on the tile with a different bottle in his hand. His phone is face down beside him and he’s not noticed you come in. Your frown deepens as your heels click slightly on the tile. Crouching down at the knee, you reach your hand out for his forehead. His skin is so hot it’s scorching. You sober up almost instantly.

Even in his inebriated state, he seems to recognize you. His smile is wide, but you don’t feel like it reaches his eyes.

“Oh, so you decided to come home after all!”

You smile sadly followed with a curt nod. “Sorry.”

“Don’t really see what the point is in you apologizing when you’ve already been so late,” He says jovial. You try not to let it sting. You remind yourself that he’s drunk and stifle a sigh again. “But welcome home!”

“Were you gonna bleach your hair?”

“Isn’t that obvious?”

“Yeah,” You reply, choosing to sigh that time. His lip wobbles a little and you try not to say anything more. “Do you want help?”

“Sure. Whatever.”

You mumble something about being right back and Nightowl hums in affirmation. A feeling washes over you. Bone-deep exhaustion crushing your lungs and making you wheeze when you step out of the bleach-scented bathroom. When you’re distance enough away that he won’t hear you - closer to your bedroom door, you breathe in and out, calming yourself down. After you feel more centered, you open your shared room door and take a stool from along the wall, bringing it with you into the bathroom. Nightowl doesn’t turn his head to look at you until you place it. Sharing a glance with each other, he gets up on his own and sits himself on the placed stool dramatically and you give him a weak smile through the mirror he doesn’t bother returning.

You’re quiet as you leave the door open a touch to make sure the steam doesn’t overheat you both. Shrugging off your suit jacket, you fold it and hang it on the towel racks behind you. You unbutton your sleeves and roll them into neat folds on both arms, and before digging into one of your bathroom drawers for plastic gloves. Sliding them onto your manicured fingers, you pick up the bowl of developer from the side of the counter and mix it using the provided brush until it’s all smooth.

Nightowl is unusually silent through the entire thing. If he weren’t fidgeting, you could barely tell he was there. It’s so difficult to see him that way. You try not to blame yourself too much.

“Gonna start,”

“Uh-huh,”

A longing passes over you in the warm, sterile air. The coolness from the A.C. in the rest of your apartment dries down the sheen of sweat your accumulated while out socializing. Your feet are killing you and your shoulders are aching and your lungs feel like you can’t get enough air out of them. That’s busy season for you. The price of your job with all of it’s stability and benefits is the annual stretch of months where you are so busy you feel like you are drowning.

It’s one thing to be so mind-numbingly busy when you’re single and only worried about not dying. Another though to have a partner waiting for you, who you love and would like to be with - who you’ve admittedly not done well in paying attention to. You’ve tried you think. Made some attempts, but it doesn’t feel good enough and it certainly isn’t enough for Nightowl. You know that, too. You look down at where your hands are applying the bleach, dazed - using only muscle memory to apply it to the roots and strands of his hair. You want to touch him. To press kisses into his spine, drunk and elated, and press your cheek to his shoulder and confess your undying love until he’s giggly all over again.

The thought of adoration soothes you. Makes you smile to yourself even amongst the unforgiving atmosphere. Nightowl doesn’t care for that, his face growing even more frustrated.

“Thought of something fun? Glad at least one of us is having a good time.”

Your eyes meet his in the mirror. He looks away when he sees how pained you look, and you shut your eyes trying not to react. “Sorry.”

“Stop saying that,” He frowns, though he seems more sad than you.

“S—“ You clear your throat and laugh humorlessly at yourself. “Okay,”

You go about your business. Many things cross your mind but you can’t wrangle your thoughts into anything cohesive enough to say. Your jaw tightens a little, like your mouth wants to practice syllables it can’t remember. The distraction of rubbing bleach into Nightowls roots is welcome. His hair is a lot healthier than it used to be, after a year of forcing him to use hair masks. You admire as you brush through the strands, and Nightowl seems to lost in his own thoughts to say anything in protest. He probably hates this silence more than you. He’s uncharacteristically stiff, and there’s no smalltalk to distract from the surroundings.

You’re not feeling well enough to try and remedy it. Allowing yourself to stonewall and sit in the discomfort is about as much as you can do to reach a hand to your relationship. You probably can’t make it better, but you can do your best not to make it any worse.

“All done,” You mumble, just loud enough for him to hear. You slide the gloves off and toss them into the trash “We should sober up before bed. Hangover before bed sounds awful. Did you,” You hiccup. “Want some?”

He doesn’t reply to you. You press your lips into a flat line, feeling somewhat sorrowful but ultimately resigned. “I’ll make some anyway. And set a timer too while I’m down there. Just, uh - join me. When you’re done here.”

Before you turn to leave, he grabs your wrist. You’re taken aback by the sudden gesture (though there’s not force in it), turning around to look at him. His face is red. Wet tears pool on the corners of his straight, black lashes. Blinking a few times in surprise, you reach your hand to wipe them from the corners. Muscle memory. You find your love for him defined that way. He doesn’t flinch away from the touch, at least.

“Don’t you have something to say to me,” He insists. You frown in genuine confusion, a sad smile pulling at your mouth.

“Thought you told me to stop saying sorry,” You repeat with no malice, smiling a little. “That’s all I’ve got though.”

His lower lip trembles again and you try not to laugh. “God. How could you be so. God.” He sniffles a little. “You could cuss me out. Or like, I dunno, just get mad in general. You’re supposed to be mad, I was,” He cuts himself off.

You laugh a little tiredly, bending down to press your forehead to his. The flush of his skin against your own makes your heart murmur his name. “I don’t have anything to say, my heart.” You assure, smiling. “We’re both pretty tired. But I have tomorrow off. Let’s cool off and talk tomorrow. “Okay?”

“Okay,” He says back, still simmering. “As long as you’re here tomorrow.”

Your heart stings. “For the next two days, promise. I’ll toss my work phone if you want.”

He cracks a smile like that. “Might have to take you up on that, cutie.”

The familiar nickname eases you a bit, making you laugh. “Whatever you want.”

Morning comes unyielding and indifferent, like always.

Sunlight filters through the curtains as your eyes peel open and try to get adjusted to the light. There’s a weight on top of you, and the sound of steady breath. Another heartbeat thumps alongside yours and before you can make much sense of it - you catch the freshly yellow blond roots of your lover as he lays on your chest.

You went to bed last night not even facing each other. The image of him reaching around for you in his sleep and ending up in your arms feels like divine intervention. You admire how perfectly he fits there. Your eyes trace of his features. Thick, straight brows, skin like light gold, a straight nose and full lips. The shock of blonde suits him strangely, makes the dark lines of his other features pop. It’s rare you get to look at him so closely, even more so lately.

The intimacy of his flaws makes your stomach flutter, texture in his skin and eyebags and all. You crane your neck to kiss his hairline and think about returning to sleep in the cocoon of warmth. The cradle of soothes you, makes your eyelids heavy with sleep again. You think it’d be nice to sleep in more, but you don’t want to squander anymore time with Nightowl. Shifting, you pry yourself away from his grasp and tuck him into blankets. You’ll wake him later.

You’re quiet as you tiptoe around the house and get your affairs in order. The bathroom first to shower and brush your teeth, then downstairs to start on breakfast. You take the ritual of it to calm down and ease the leftover nerves of your stomach. It was better to save any conversation for sobriety - so you don’t regret it. Still, you feel a fear lingering. A nagging voice in the back of your head as you flip pancakes and cut fruit and pour juice.

The eerie silence of Saturday morning pushes you to reflect. It’s rare you fight like this. Even more rare that Nightowl reverts to that kind of angriness, which is why you find you can’t get upset. Not even the sound of sizzling and frying can keep your mind from wandering.

Inadequacy is familiar. An old winter jacket, too sizes too small and ill-fitting but full of your own personhood. One of the things you and Nightowl bonded over a long time ago.

You did well in school, in college, made a career for yourself. It’s making up for the rest of you, you think.

At least you’re good at your job, even if the rest of you is not worth mentioning. The ghost of feeling like you are, in some basic and intrinsic way, not good enough likes to shake you every now and again. Not friend, nor partner. It’s not something you easily get rid of, despite how far you’ve grown past it. Or around it. Or ahead of it. Wherever you’ve ended up, occasions come that knock the feeling loose from your deepest memories. You work hard to cover for it.

You like to logic your way out of the guilt when you’ve poured so much into it and people drift. A self-fulfilling prophecy. Usually that works. Tuck your emotions into neat compartments, throw yourself further into your work, don’t drink too heavily or be alone with anyone for too long. Ignore everything, do it by yourself so you’re still worth something, wait until it’s over. Eventually it all comes to pass, and you come out of the other end alive - but alone.

You can’t do that anymore though. It’s hard to remember that. Isolation is no longer the answer, because there is someone (multiple people, really) who will feel lonely without you. Even if it’s unfathomable to you, even if it’s hard to remember. The consequences creep up like this, and your left with the emotional void of making a bad situation worse. Sorry is the only word you know. There are so many things to be sorry for.

You’re so lost in thought you burn a pancake and have to toss it. You also seem to miss the presence of another person in your shared space until Nightowl comes and wraps his arms around your shoulders. Turning the heat down, you shift to face him. He looks exhausted but he must’ve come down after washing up.

“You’re awake.”

“Mhm.” He says, still sleepy. A smile pulls at the corners of your mouth. “So are you. And you’re making me breakfast.”

You laugh. “I am. So, go sit down.” And then, a little more serious. “We have a lot to talk about but I’d rather do it on a full stomach.”

“We’re in an argument and you’re still taking care of me.” Sadness bleeds into his words.

You reply without skipping a beat, going back to the stove to pour some more batter. “Well, its not like I don’t love you anymore.”

There’s a long, long pause of silence that alarms you once you recognize it. Once you hear sniffling, you whip around again to see Nightowl weeping a little as he leans against the counter. Alarms go off in your head, once again turning the stove down. You wrap your arms around his waist loosely, bending down to get a closer look at him. He’s cover his face with his hands.

“Ugh,” His voice is thick and heavy. “Can you not be so nice and perfect and angelic? I’m trying really hard to be mad at you and I’m failing like a loser.”

You can tell there’s some sincerity in his words, though you ignore the first half of his statement. “I don’t want to make you feel bad.”

He pulls away then, looks at you incredulous. “You’re so,” His hands curl at your chest as you hug him slightly. You’re confused but don’t say anything. “God, you’re so frustrating.”

“Sorry,” You say apologetically. “Don’t mean to make you cry either. Feel like I’m going that a lot. We should really eat.”

“Don’t want to,” He whines a little as he says. “Just. I want to kiss and makeup already.”

You smile a little before humming.

“We should talk about it, then.”

Nightowl just nods, and you take that as permission to just go. You do your best to get the words out.

“I really love you,” You say first, and then sigh. Nightowl clings onto you tighter and listens instead of interjecting, which must mean he’s feeling serious. “And uhm, was already feeling bad about myself. And then I got busy which made it worse cause I couldn’t really you know… be there for you, so I ended up pulling away to figure it out alone and then got even busier. Which was isolating for you, and I’m sorry for that. It’s hard to like.. I dunno. Lean on you. On anyone.” You laugh a little. “Is that too vague?”

“It makes sense to me but…what were you feeling bad about, even?”

“Well I was busy before that, so I just felt shitty about being a bad partner to you. In general, don’t feel like I deserve you but then you know,” You sigh “It was shitty of me.”

“Are you kidding me?” He says. His face is twisted in a pout. “You’re seriously being all mopey ‘cause you think you’re a bad partner when you’re like… literally the best ever? Like, that I’ve ever had?”

You’re too surprised to say anything. “Is that not why were arguing?”

“I mean,” His frown deepens, and he presses his face against your chest. “Ugh. So embarrassing. I am upset because you’re so busy and we haven’t spent time together but that’s like… totally not your fault, yknow? I’m being super clingy and I was just… really lonely yesterday.”

“Sorry for making you feel lonely.”

“Stop apologizing or I’m gonna bite you, ‘kay cutie?” He says seriously. You relent with a worrisome smile and encourage him to keep going. “I was getting like… all pathetic. Cause I thought you didn’t want me anymore, didn’t even occur to me something was wrong. I’m so sorry about that, about all of it - god. I shouldn’t have lashed out on you. I hate that it still gets so bad when we've been together so long. I just missed you so fucking much. And I think so highly of you, I couldn’t help but be all torn up about the idea that you were pulling away cause you didn’t want me.”

“I do want you. I’m just surprised you want me sometimes.”

“You’re dumb,” He whispers with no bite at all. “That’s my line. You’re like literally perfect to me.”

“So we got in a fight ‘cause we needed to be with each other,” You say with a long pause, then laugh. “How silly.”

“Guess so,” He says back with a little frown. “Are we okay?”

“We’re okay,”

You share a brief moment of comfortable, understanding silence. It feels easier to breathe. Even though it’s messy and foolish, you love being with him. It makes you feel real and whole - wanted to be missed that much.

“I missed you too by the way,” You reply with utmost sincerity. “Only thing I thought of all night was how much I wanted to hold you.”

“You’re making me blush.” He says with a loopy little smile. “Y’mean that?”

“More than anything.” You reply. “I like being with you. I like taking care of you. I like that you’re needy and jealous and temperamental.”

“Stopppp,” He groans and you laugh aloud, leaning forward to place a kiss on his jaw. “Not that I hate being told what you like about me but it’s making my tummy flutter.”

“I like loving you,” You say with some finality. “I feel really shitty when I feel like I’m failing at it because I take pride in being good at that.”

“Jeez,” His face is bright pink when you pull away. “You shouldn’t think of yourself so little, yanno? Not that this is a surprise but yesterday I was like, totally acting awful to you. I really am sorry I let it get that bad, I was just really worked up. Even right now you make me so happy, it feels a little unfair to me. I want to be with you all the time. So sometimes when I can’t I just get like… awful. And stupid. And want to throw a bunch of dumb tantrums about it.”

You nod in understanding. “It did hurt my feelings but I really didn’t feel like it was undeserved.”

“It was totally undeserved!”

You crack a little smile. “Agree to disagree?”

He grabs your face with both hands, knocking your foreheads together. “It was undeserved, no take backs. I’m sorry I hurt you and always will be. Stop being so nitpicky about yourself, kay? I’m literally crazy about you.”

“Me too,” You crane your neck to kiss his palm where it cradles your face. “I adore you, baby.”

“I like being adored by you,” He says with a sweetness that makes your heart melt. “I like loving you too of course, but attention is… nice. You know.”

He makes a face at you as you say this that you can only describe as a grin, before pushing himself forward to press a long kiss to your lips. You laugh a little into, smile splitting your face at the intensity he kisses you at first thing in the morning. Over and over, pulling and pushing - giggling as you chase his mouth as he pulls away.

“We kissed but I dunno if we’ve made up,” He says. Concern briefly passes over your expression. “Got some really good ideas about how we could do that.”

You give him a flat look but can’t contain your laughter.

“We should really eat breakfast,”

He puts a hand at the top of your waistband with lidded eyes and smiles. “There’s something else I wanna eat first though?”

You pretend to be exasperated.

“Jesus. We just made-up and you wanna fuck already?”

“Duh. That’s like, the best part,”

You snort. “We’ll go once and then I’m making you eat breakfast even if I have to force it down your throat.”

“Ooh, feeling rough I see,”

You snort. “Yeah, guess so.” You shoot him a little look, leaning into whisper and nip at his ears. “On your knees for me, baby.”

He giggles a little, giddy with mischief in his face. “Mmkay,”

He presses a cheek to your clothed thigh, lovesick. “I love you,”

You can’t help but laugh at his choice of when to say it and simply reply back in full adoration. “I love you too, my heart.”

a/n ; ANOTHER AUTHORS NOTE? sorry for being the ceo of yapping im insane

i just want to like. give some insight on this fight bc im worried it seems onesided. reader has low self esteem and really beats themself over their own expectations in everything. they isolate when they're overwhelmed and work was already doing that to them. and then things got busier, which meant there wasn't really time to repair the relationship between them which is why nightowl gets as mad as he does.

nightowl is deathly afraid of being unloved and abandoned, and he get a little caught up in his self hate that they fail to realize something is going on with their partner. so he lashes it out and it feels warranted but he gets like guilty bc reader doesn't react to the goading any differently

i think nightowl is a very complicated but incredibly familiar character. he's a little selfish but i find him incredibly endearing and i have a strong desire to dote on him and monopolize him. which was the intent for this fic. but i ended up just exploring real life relationship dynamics between a character like this. very selfless x selfish. they love each other and find fulfillment in this. i love them.

#nightowl x reader #blooming panic x reader #bloomic x reader #nightowl bp x reader #writing tag #this is literally so random #idk what tag ettiquette is for this? bc the game is self insert so i feel like tagging with main tags is probs fine but its riskyyy lmao #nightowl blooming panic

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