#jaimie's post

[iwantajaneaustenlife]

all i want from this election is adam scott to make an anti trump campaign ad in ben wyatt's voice

[iwantajaneaustenlife]

we got into our airbnb last night and saw this photo in the kitchen cubby

went to sit outside for awhile and the man himself arrived to greet us

he was hands down the best host I’ve ever met

[iwantajaneaustenlife]

i know that blood still on dracula’s lips is dramatic and scary but in reality it’s just like he’s a dude that gorged himself on chocolate cake and passed out with frosting all over his face

[iwantajaneaustenlife]

i don’t trust this man

[iwantajaneaustenlife]

anyone who says “i’m in charge of my own destiny” does not own a cat because my 10 pound orange boy tells me when to get up and go to sleep and he could probably convince me to ignore a hero’s journey if he was already comfy on my lap

[iwantajaneaustenlife]

farha could be president but joe biden couldn’t be thebootydiaries

[iwantajaneaustenlife]

please please look at this blep from my beautiful son i’m dying

[iwantajaneaustenlife]

every year this is the saddest day 😭

[iwantajaneaustenlife]

idk who needs to hear this but jane austen is genuinely really funny. people who think she writes boring books where nothing happens, i get why you think that because society has told you that but please enjoy this banger from just the first couple of chapters of pride & prejudice:

“How pleasant it is to spend an evening this way. I declare after all there is no enjoyment like reading. How much sooner one tires of anything than of a book. When I have a house of my own I shall be miserable if I have not an excellent library.” No one made any reply. She then yawned again, threw aside her book, and cast her eyes around the room in quest for some amusement.

this is funny! we all know people who are like this!

anyway look up pride and prejudice read by elizabeth klett, she does an incredible job and it’s free!

[iwantajaneaustenlife]

one time i was playing apples to apples with these really christian sisters and one put down "tom cruise" for the prompt "attractive" and the other one got pissed and yelled "HE DOESN'T EVEN BELIEVE IN JESUS ANNE"

[iwantajaneaustenlife]

i went to the Josh Fight and it was everything I wanted it to be

[iwantajaneaustenlife]

nothing will match the raw power of the lyrics “here’s how it’s gonna go/we’re gonna kick your ass/and then we’re gonna fucking kick your ass” thank you jeff blim

[iwantajaneaustenlife]

so if gaston eats four dozen eggs (48) every day of his youth, and we assume that he started when he was four and his childhood ended at 18, that gives us

48(eggs)x365(days)x14(years)=245,280

and then, when he’s grown he eats five dozen eggs (60) and i’m going to guess that he’s around 30, that gives us adult egg consumption at

60(eggs)x365(days)x12(years)=262,800

for a total of 508,080 eggs consumed over his lifetime

[iwantajaneaustenlife]

booth??? the thing that killed abe lincoln??? i’ll take the table thanks

[iwantajaneaustenlife]

[iwantajaneaustenlife]

if you can’t identify what i’m thinking about at any given moment there’s a nonzero chance it’s train systems