#javier pena x f!hispanic reader

[softstarlite]

Se nos rompió el amor

CHAPTER 1

Summary: You thought your love was strong and could conquer everything, I guess you were wrong...

Warnings: Physical violence, talk of doctors, talk of pregnancy, toxicity from romantic partner, implied age gap. (Not proof read)

Rating: +18

Word Count: 1.6K

Sneak peek / Chapter 2 / Masterlist

Divider by @saradika

A/N: yes sorry guys, I've done it, I've started another series when I feel stuck on my first one, The Casualty of Love. I promise that'll I try to update that one as soon as I can.

You fidget with your hands on your lap like you always do when you're nervous, before you can continue to let your anxiety eat you, you hear your last name called. You look up from your lap to the nurse looking around the waiting room and then you stand up.

“Soy yo (it's me)” you inform her and when she signals for you to follow her, you do.

Minutes later after a full check up, when you hear the confirmation of what you feared from the doctor's mouth, you feel your entire body going cold, you and him hadn't even talked before about this possibility, which now that you think about it was incredibly irresponsible.

Your walk home is something that you don't even remember by the time you´re already there. How were you supposed to tell Javi? You guys have been having your worst moment in your relationship lately, always irritated answers to questions, the rolling eyes or the groaning after a complaint and let's not get started on the countless arguments.

You knew that his job was frustrating, stressful and many more things that can mess up with somebody but you are not at fault for any of those things and yet you were paying for them. You fear this would only make the entire situation worse and you would lose the only family you have left.

It's not after 2 am that Javier arrives to your shared apartment, in the almost two years you and him have been together he had always tried not to arrive home this late, so on the nights that he had succeeded you would wait awake for him and on the nights he would have no other option but to arrive this late you would have fell asleep waiting for him on the couch, but today it was a surprise because there you were at this ungodly hour on the couch but not asleep, instead with a lime blossom infusion in hand.

“Where were you today? I came home for a few hours to have lunch together but you weren't here” that's the first thing he says to you while putting on the coffee table his keys, his satellite phone, his gun, his badge and his sunglasses, not even a hello, or a, what are you doing awake?

“I was running a few errands” you lie, not sure if you could share with him what the doctor had confirmed just yet.

You hear him scoff and when you look at him, he is pouring some whiskey on a glass. “What?” you ask him with confusion painting your face.

“Oh nothing” he answers with a shrug and a lace of sarcasm in his tone “just curious about what those errands are querida (dear)”

You put the cold cup on the coffee table beside his sunglasses and then put your legs on the couch under you, your arms hugging themselves “well umm…” but before you can come up with a fake errand that you´ve been doing earlier on the day, he cuts you off.

“umm… umm…” he mocks your doubt “can think of a lie that fast querida?” he spats at you with slight anger.

You don't know if you´re more confused about how he could have found out or about why he would be so angry at you for it. Sure like you said earlier, it was unplanned and you two had never talked about it before, but you would have expected another reaction from the man you knew and loved. You stand up from the couch quickly with your hands reaching for him.

“Javi, I'm sorry for not telling you before but…” again before you can finish, he cuts you off and takes a step back so you can't reach him.

“¡Claro! (Of course!) Because telling me earlier would make your cheating better, that's exactly why I'm mad!” he say stepping away from your reaching hands and turning around, running a hand through his hair he curses under his breath “Por el amor de Dios… (for fuck´s sake)”

You're taken back by his accusation “Wh-what?” what was he even talking about? Cheating?

“Don't you even dare to try to play the innocent card; the whole sudden glowing thing that even Steve keeps complimenting you about, the weird whispering phone calls on the evenings, the sudden errands that you can't even explain today” he runs a hand over his face with a frustrated groan “is your little “friend” from work isn´t it? Carlos is his name i think”

Still in some kind of shock from this out of the blue accusation, you stare at his angry face for a few seconds before answering “Carlos? Javi even if i was cheating, which i'm not, it would definitely not be with him, he's…” you sigh “he's not into women…”

“Well if not him then with who, i deserve to at least know that” he demands.

“No one, Javi, I'm not cheating on you, I know those things you said can be seen like I am but I promise I'm not” you try to reach for him again but he grabs your wrist before you can.

“Oh so since the innocent card didn't work, now you´re trying to play the “you´re imagining things” one?” he scoffs and his grip on your wrist tightens.

“Javi you're drunk” you have been able to smell the alcohol in him since he came through the door “and lately you´ve been too stressed because of work, let's relax, lets go to sleep and talk about this on the morning, please” you look into his eyes “por favor Javi…(please Javi…)”

He shakes his head “No, you´re not putting this on me, ni te atrevas (don't even dare), i'm not letting you have all night to come up with all the lies you can so you can trick me in the morning” he pulls you towards him by the wrist he has on his hold, then he grips your jaw with his free hand making you look at him “just fucking confess already” you put a hand on his chest to try to push him back.

“Javier you're hurting me…” you try to reason with him to let go of you.

“Cariño, i can assure you, you've hurt me more with your lies” you can see his eyes turn a dark color.

“I-I'll tell you” you try to let your words out with his hand constricting your jaw and cheeks “I'll tell you where i´ve been today” he almost seems surprised by it.

He finally lets go of your face to let you say what he thinks will be a confession of adultery “I was at the gynecologist”

He scoff and shakes his head “i said no more fucking lies!!” he raises his voice a little.

“You can call the office as soon as they open if you don't believe me” you say with a shaky voice, feeling fear for the first time in the presence of Javier “she'll tell you all about the pregnancy” you finally say with a hint of venom in your words.

Immediately, you can feel his hand and grip leave you; he takes a step back, leaving your personal space, you can see a million thoughts passing through his eyes, like he is connecting all of the dots.

“P…pregnancy?” he talks out loud but you see that it's not towards you but to the thick air, then his eyes connect with you again, an expression of confusion, fear, regret and sadness mixing in his face “you're pregnant?” his voice comes out as a breathy whisper.

You can only nod while you finally let your tears fall from your eyes. Javi can feel his heart ripping apart, sobering up in a second, the truth sinking in him.

Now that his grip on you is not longer, you rub at the wrist he had gripped so hard that now it was red. You see him still standing there in shock, you take that opportunity to make a beeline to your purse, taking it to the bedroom where you put in it a few clothing items and some underwear, then you quickly put on some shoes.

When you walk out into the living room, he's still there, looking at the wall behind the couch, you walk in front of him towards the front door; your passing in front of his eyes makes him snap out of his trance, his eyes following you now.

“Baby…” his voice now soft, apologetic “I…I…I´m so sorry” he apologizes looking at his hands like they don't belong to his body “I don't…I shouldn't have…” he tries to step towards you and reach for you but you instinctively step back, a hand finding home on your lower stomach and your eyes closing hard.

He feels like a monster, like the worst human being to walk this earth, for a moment he even thinks more highly of Escobar than himself. He feels shame and guilt eat him from the inside.

“Please baby lets just talk, I'm really sorry, please…” you can see for the first time, since you guys met, tears in his eyes.

“Please don't…I can't” you shake your head again and again while tears fall from your eyes and snot leaves your nose,

He watches you turn and leave the apartment, he falls to his knees, looking at his hands again while he lets the tears finally fall from his eyes, his heart breakin in a million pieces, and anger for himself building on his chest.

Next chapter

[softstarlite]

Se nos rompió el amor

CHAPTER 2

Summary: You thought your love was strong and could conquer everything, I guess you were wrong...

Warnings: implied age gap, talks of pregnancy, angst, mention of options facing a pregnancy.

Rating: +18

Word count: 1.9k

Chapter 1 / Masterlist

Divider by @saradika

A/N: here you guys have the second chapter!! Hope you like it, and let me know your thoughts about it, love you amores <3

You knock on the door of the only person that feels right to go to right now, for various reasons, you know her for starters of course, she lives in an apartment owned by the US government as well, so it is safe, she knows what is like to have problems and arguments with your partner because of their DEA job and she also knew what wanting to protect your child was like.

You knock once more and wait for a few seconds, but the nervousness in you wins this battle and you knock again a little harder now. When Connie's tired and confused face comes into your vision after she opens the door, you can physically feel a weight being raised from your shoulders by the thought of not having to walk the Colombian streets by night all by your own.

Connie says your name as a question “honey, what are you doing here?” that's when she sees your face and sees the tears and the red nose from having blown your snot earlier “what happened? Are you alright?” her arm immediately embraces you and pulls you to the inside of the apartment, guiding you towards the couch.

You cry into her shoulder for a few minutes without needing to tell her why. That's when you hear walking behind you, you look towards the sound and see Steve with tired and a teary eyed Olivia, resting on his hip with her father's hand on the back of her head, who had woken up because of your knocking.

As soon as he sees your crying face he opens his mouth “Is Javi okay?” he asks with a lace of worry and readiness in his voice. You nod your head and he nods back in acknowledgement then he turns around saying “i'll give your guys space…” then he goes to Olivia´s nursery with her to try and put her to sleep again.

“I'm sorry for waking Olivia up, Con” you say between sniffs.

“It's okay honey, she'll get plenty of sleep in her life and she would have probably woken up in half an hour by herself, she's teething” she tells you while she rubs your upper back in comfort. She doesn't push you to talk about what is happening or why you are in their apartment at this ungodly hour.

After some minutes of you crying and sniffling with her comforting you, you blurt it out “I'm pregnant Con…”

You turn your head over your shoulder when you feel her hand freezing on your middle back, you see the surprise look in her eyes and how her mouth is open like she wants to say something but the words don't come, instead she embraces you, cradling your head in her hand like a mother would do.

“Oh honey…” she almost whispers so low that you don't hear her over your sobs.

You stay in their apartment for two days, making Steve swear that he wouldn't say a word to Javier about it, talking non stop about your possibilities from her nurse perspective, about what you want to do and how to do it.

The late afternoon of the second day is when you make your way downstairs on the apartment building and enter your shared one with Javi. When your gaze looks up from your hands opening the front door, a surprised squeal comes out of your mouth and your key free hand comes to your chest, over your heart. You weren't expecting Javi to be there on the couch, his back perched into the back of it, his fingers pinching at the bridge of his nose and a glass of whiskey in his hand. As soon as he hears the front door closing behind you, his gaze meets you and in less than two seconds, he's putting the glass on the coffee table, standing and striding towards you.

You let him take your face between his hands but you can't bring yourself to meet his gaze, he wasn't supposed to be here, he never is at this hour.

“Tesoro, oh my god, you´re fine” he says with relief, his eyes going over all your features “I'm so sorry for everything i said mi amor, hablemos tranquilos por favor (let's talk calmly please)”

Before he has any chances of making you doubt your already made decision, you take his wrists in your hands and look into his eyes “Javi, i'm here to pick up my things…” you see hope leave his eyes and pain come to them.

“What?! No, tesoro, no, you can't. I was drunk and work has been hell lately, that was all, we can talk, we can fix it” he says while his eyes travel from one eye and then the other of yours again and again.

“I've already bought a ticket for the states…” you say with guilt, even if you knew that what you were doing was for the best “you´re welcome to join us” you continue talking when you see the desperation in his face “but i already know what your decision is going to be…” which makes you feel even more heartbroken.

“Tesoro, you-you know i can't walk away from all of this” you knew he was talking about the narcos not the pregnancy “I need to finish this” he indirectly pleads with you to stay, trying to reason why you should.

“And you should know that i have to walk away from all this” you finally pull his hands away from your face; once they're back at his sides, you release them like they're hot iron “I can't raise a kid or even just have it while being surrounded by so much violence, and not only outside of this apartment but also in it, you´re angry all the time because of the violence outside of this safe place. Javi, lately i´ve been living with a person that when he's not angry, he's an emotional ghost…”.

Before he has any opportunity to respond to you, you walk fast towards the bedroom; you pull a suitcase from under the bed and you start to fill it with clothes and other necessities. Javier appears on the doorway of the bedroom, his eyes follow your every move around the room, he wants to say anything that would make you stay, but even his heart is telling him that you´re doing the right thing. By the way you expressed your plans, he knew you had already your mind set on having the baby, and if that was your decision, he supported it and he even supported even more your decision of wanting to get that baby away from all the violence; but the part of him that loves you from the very moment his eyes landed on you that day on the market, can't even fathom the idea of living day by day without your presence everywhere around his, that part wanted to be selfish and convince you to stay. He didn't even consider the possibility of leaving the DEA and going with you, it just wasn't an option, it was so important for him to put Escobar behind bars or a bullet between his eyes, he needed for his sacrifices and violence to have a meaning…

“Where are you going?” he asks with a colder tone now, not sure if it was as a way of protecting his heart or yours by making your decision easier for you.

He knew you had left the states when your last living relative, your dad, died; you sold his house, put his belongings in an storage unit and then started your travels around the world, you had been in a few countries before coming to Colombia, and you had planned to stay here just for a month before you met him and you both fell for each other, he was the one that flirted his way through the embassy to get you a visa to stay in the country with him when you made the decision to stop your travels to be with him.

“I'm…I'm going to Laredo…” you say, stopping your packing to look at him. “I've already book a hotel for a few days while i look for an apartment there, i thought that it would be better for the baby to be close to the only close relative they'll have apart from us…” you have already met Chucho before, you and Javier had travel to Laredo once when the embassy forced him to take some days off because they didn't want to face a problem with HR; you had loved the old man, so similar to the man you love in many ways, and his presence always made you feel like having a paternal figure close that reminded you so much of your own father… Since then you have responded to many calls that were originally direct for Javier from his dad but that turned into at least an hour of you talking with Chucho.

Javi shakes his head immediately “No, hermosa, no te vas a quedar en ningún apartamento (no, beautiful, you´re not staying in any apartment). I'll call pops and you´ll stay on the ranch, that way if you need anything or something happens, i'll know that pops is there”

You´re the one shaking your head now “Javi, I don't want to trouble your dad, no sería justo (it wouldn't be fair). This is my mess, I'll deal with it” you finish putting the last item that fits the suitcase and then you close it.

You hear him scoff then say “Tesoro, that man has been asking me for a nieto or nieta since i turned 30 and he also loves you already like a daughter, he'll be thrilled to hear about…your state” he clears his throat “but even more to have you on his house. He won't be that thrilled with me though” he says the last part in a whisper to himself.

You´re conflicted with the offer but when your mind debates it, you only think of your future kid and how it would be better for them to have as many people that love them close to them. That's when you nod and say “okay, while i stay in the hotel, that i´m not wasting away after already paying for it, i'll go visit him and we'll talk, okay?” you don't even know why you want to ease him, you should be infuriated with him, not only for what had happened two days ago but also for the fact that he was deciding to leave you and your kid by yourselves.

He nods and that's when you pick up the packed suitcase and start to walk to leave the apartment, refusing his help with the luggage when you walk past him. You make it to the front door, with you hand on the doorknob, you turn your head towards him and he gives you a encouraging small smile that you answer with a firm nod, then you turn back to the front door and finally leave.

That's how yours and Javier´s worst part of your lives start.

Next chapter

[softstarlite]

Se nos rompió el amor

CHAPTER 3

Summary: You thought your love was strong and could conquer everything, I guess you were wrong...

Warnings: implied age gap, mentions of pregnancy, mention of symptoms of pregnancy, adorable father and daughter in law interactions, angst, awkwardness.

Rating: +18

Word count: 1.4k (sorry this one is short)

Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Masterlist

Divider by @saradika-graphics

It had been two months since you left Colombia and Javi behind; after a good long talk with Chucho the day after you landed on Laredo, you moved to the ranch´s guest room. Chucho hadn't been anything but kind and excited for the arrival of his grandkid. In these two months, you had already felt so close to him, he had hold your hair in the mornings while you suffered from morning sickness, you almost had to fight him so he would let you help around the ranch, on the mornings that you would wake up later, he would already left on the kitchen counter a coffee just like you like it, somehow still steaming like he had just done it.

You had decided to not contact Javi in these two months, but you knew that the change from one weekly phone call to now two or even three wasn't a coincidence, you even heard Chucho once talking with him on the kitchen phone, how he was telling Javi about your symptoms.

According to the local doctor´s calculations, you were on week 13 of your pregnancy. If it weren't for the morning sickness and the sometimes migraine, you wouldn't even remember that you are expecting.

It's around 6pm when you're preparing some dinner for both you and Chucho in the ranch´s kitchen, Chucho was staying until later working on the ranch chores since there had been an incident with one of the cows earlier on the day, you´re listening to a tango, Garufa by Malevaje, on your favorite spanish radio station while humming alongside it. You can remember your grandfather, your dad's dad, singing that tango all the time when you were little and then later about your dad teaching you the lyrics when you were a teen and your grandad had passed away.

The kitchen phone startles you when it starts to ring, you wipe your hands on the yellow apron you´re wearing and then walk across the kitchen to pick up the phone.

“Peña´s ranch” you say while keeping an eye on the bubbling sauce by the kitchen fires. You only hear an intake of air on the other side of the phone call but nothing more, your eyebrows furrowed in confusion “someone there?” the person on the other end clears their throat before saying your name, Javi´s voice being revealed to be the person calling.

“I was expecting pops…” before you have a chance to apologize and offer to go looking for Chucho, he asks “How are you? Pops said that the sickness was getting tough…”

“Umm… Yeah, yes” it's your turn to clear your throat “it's getting hard to cook anything without gagging lately” you let out an awkward chuckle.

“Mrs. Alvarez told me that when she had her sons, ginger worked great for her morning sickness” It surprises you that he even mentioned to the elderly woman, from the fruit stand that you both used to always buy from, about your pregnancy.

“Oh, I…I´ll try it” after a `good´ from him, an uncomfortable and awkward silence falls between you two “I got to go Javier, I have a sauce on the stove…” you break the silence making Javi regret not breaking it himself so he could keep you on the phone a little longer.

“Yeah, claro (sure), just tell pops to phone me when he can i guess” he curses himself as soon as he says it for not coming up with something that would make you stay on the call a bit longer. A small silence falls between you yet again before you hang the phone again on the wall.

Your hand goes to the swell on your stomach and you let out a sigh, you realize that a tear has escaped your eye when it hits your lips. You sniff and wipe your eyes, then you try to stabilize yourself with a deep breath to continue the dinner.

Later that night when Chucho and you are on the table eating the dinner that you had made, you put down your fork and swallow your bite of food.

“Javi called earlier…” you inform him while fidgeting with a crumb on the table. Chucho stops his fork mid air and puts it down as well.

“Oh… I'll call him after we are finished” he answers without giving it much more thought, to take tension from the situation. You decide to finally clear your doubts.

“Does he…does he ever ask about me or the baby?” you ask with nervous eating you.

This proves to be something that hits Chucho hard because he sits straight on his chair and takes a sip of his beer to clear his throat.

“No te confundas mija (Don't confuse yourself mija), Javier loves you and that baby more than anything, but you found a troubled man, corazón (heart)” he reaches across the kitchen table to hold your hand and give a squeeze “I'm not justifying him, will never do it, eso solo me haría un mal padre (that would only make me a bad father), but I know Javier is a man that carries a lot of trauma with him. He doesn't talk about it much, but he has done things done there that would make both of our stomachs turn, he needs for all of that to mean something, mija”

You weren't oblivious, after all you lived with Javier and you had seen what his job did to him personally. But you had never thought of it like that, of everything needing to have meaning to him. Javier had opened up to you about his trauma with mother, how he blamed himself everyday of her death, saying that no good son wold live her mother´s side when she gets diagnosed with a cancer, how him not being there was like another illness for her, how it made her only worse; you obviously told him that that was all in his head, that he was a loving son, you could see it and hear it when he would talk to Chucho over the phone, that his mother would´ve of never blame him for anything, that she understood Javier, bt Javier was convinced of his truth so all you could was hold him and comfort him.

“Si hay alguien en el mundo (if there´s someone in this world) that i'll always know, that' s my child, mija. You´ll understand it in not too long yourself” he gives your hand another squeeze, so your gaze that had fallen to you plate goes back to his own “And i know that my Javier loves my grandchild more than anything in his entire life, in a way he even feels that what he is doing is for the good of his child…”

That only brings tears to your eyes, you try to contain but you already know that Chcho can see them. Your hand is the one squeezing Chucho´s, you take off the napkin resting on your lap and put it on the table, then you separate your hand from his.

“I think i'm not hungry anymore, if you don't mind, I think i'll go and rest a bit” you say with a choking voice. trying to not burst into sobs in front of your child's abuelo.

Chucho immediately understands and nods “Of course, mija. No te preocupes por los trastes (Don't worry about the dishes)” he tells you with the try of a comforting smile.

You don't answer anything back and quickly make your way to your designated room.

Once the door of your room is closed and your back is pressed to it, a hand goes to your chest and you try to get the tears to go away. You want to blame them on your pregnancy hormones but you know that even you couldn't believe that.

Closing your eyes you can see yourself and Javi on the couch of your shared apartment in Colombia, sharing an ice cream tub due to the excruciating heat of summer while watching a soap opera and laughing together at how silly it was.

Your heart can't help but to hurt inside your ribcage, hurting because your happy memories with Javier now only bring tears to your eyes and sadness to your heart…

[softstarlite]

The Casualty of Love

CHAPTER 4

Summary: He's back home. You have almost forgotten how warm his eyes were and how big your crush for him was.

Warnings: Age gap (Javi is 40 and reader is 27), dry humping, kissing, mentions of mental health, mild insecurity from reader, cockblocking. (let me know if I left out any warnings)

Rating: +18 (a little explicit)

Word Count: 2k

Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 / Masterlist

A/N: Here's chapter 4 guys!! Hope you enjoy it. None of my work is beta read, so there might be some mistakes or things like that. Remember that english isn't my first language; feel free to help me improve but always been kind.

Divider by @saradika-graphics

Javier makes his way through the backyard to where his dad is; before talking, he takes a deep breath “Pops, i'm heading out” the fingers on the hand by his side fidgeting.

“Already Javier? You haven't lasted even two hours this time…” Chucho sighs while putting the plate of barbacued chicken down.

“Yeah, pops, you know I hate these things…” he says, not meeting Chucho´s eyes.

“You didn't seem to be having the worst of times in there” Chucho points to the house with his head.

At Chucho´s comment, anxiety takes control over Javier´s body; maybe his dad did see something, what if he was too lost in your beautiful eyes and lips to notice?

“You both always knew how to comfort each other” Chucho continues after the lack of speaking from Javier “She always knew that you needed to get away from crowds at these things, so when you eventually disappeared, she just would lie to your mama and Maria, saying that you were at the bathroom or something else that would make them not come looking for you”

“Well, it seems we´ve spent way too long apart” Chucho observes that Javi´s feet have started to fidget and he worries “You think someone could drive you later? I wouldn't want to stop your fun” Javier´s eyes finally meet Chucho´s, making his dad even worry more for him when he sees anxiety in them.

“Javier, is everything okay? I don't mind going home already if you´re not fine… it's not like they don't make one of these every week or two weeks” Chucho says, ready to get up from his chair and leave.

“No, no, pops i'm fine, just a little overwhelmed, that's it” he calms his dad, reaching a hand out to stop him from getting up.

“You sure?” Javi nods to reassure him “well then okay, i'll ask someone to give me a ride back later” he looks at Javi as serious as he can now “call Doña Lucia´s home phone if you need anything, the number is on the phone book that's in the kitchen, okay mijo?”

“Yes pops, i will if i need to” he pats Chucho´s shoulder once and then turns towards the fence door to go back towards the truck.

When Javi left the inside of the house at first fear took hold of your body, fear of rejection, fear of him avoiding you in regret of what could've happened if his dad had not come in. Soon that fear becomes anger, at him for just stomping out of the situation without acknowledgment, anger of you or the situation, or both for that matter.

As you said, you´re not a teeneager anymore, you´re not letting him do this, specially him; any other man would be a disappointment but they would just disappear from your life eventually, but him, even if you wanted to get him out of your life, which you think you would never want, it would never work, Chucho was your family and you would never abandon him and your mom was his family as well.

You hop off the kitchen counter, put the beer in your hand down, not caring even the slightest about it now, and go through the house towards the front door. You step out onto the front porch, your eyes survey the front of the house, searching for the truck you´ve known for many years now, through the sea of cars from the people who have come to the get together. As soon as you see it, you walk to it and see that no one is inside of it yet.

You know him, you know he's going to try to run from the situation, so he's going to come to the truck eventually. You lean into the driver's door, crossing your arms over your chest; right now you don't even care about the killing heat from the sun shooting straight at you from above or that your shoes are forgotten somewhere in the backyard.

Your mind goes through a million things you want to tell him when he comes but as soon as your ears pick up on the sound of the fence door by the side of the house, you are not sure what you want to tell him, insecurity hurts your chest. What if he was actually going to shove you back before Chucho came in instead of leaning in?

You can hear him curse when he sees you there leaning into his truck.

“Vampirita…” he says when he stops about two big strides from you, his tone pleading.

“No, don't vampirita me” you uncross your arms, letting them fall at your sides “you´re not running away from this, i'm not letting you”

He takes one stride towards you, but still he's not as close as you want him, as you need him “this,” he points at the air between you “can't happen”

A twinge of pain crosses your chest and one of your hands shoots to it like it could physically take it away “why not?” you know your eyes are already glossy, the fear of rejection you had before is now becoming a real thing. You feel like a little kid right now, and you're hating yourself for it.

“Because you…you are you and i'm me, cariño” he makes the attempt to touch you but he stops himself halfway.

You scoff “what an amazing argument Javier” you take a little step towards him, still leaving some distance between you two “I don't know if you´ve notice, but we are both consent adults”

“Trust me, cariño, i ́ve definitely noticed it'' his eyes can't help to run your body “that is the problem”

“Then…” you break the space between you both, your fingers caressing his upper arm “kiss me, please”

Please, you just said please, to him… Javier closes his eyes hard, feeling the cord of control inside of him tense more and more every second you stand there in front of him, your fingers touching him even over his white short sleeved button up.

“Javi…” he opens his eyes after hearing you “please…”

And just like that the cord of self control snaps; one of his hands goes straight to tangle into your hair, the other takes home in your lower back. His lips collide with yours; the sweetest honey he's ever had.

He kisses you like his life depends on it, it starts slow and sweet, but after a moment it becomes hungry. You open your mouth, an invitation to him, and he can't help but groan as his tongue meets yours.

He feels one of your hands fist the front of his button up by his stomach, the other palm flat in his chest, where his buttons are open.

Javier can't think of a moment that felt more in peace and right in his life, even if guilt was eating him from inside. He has kissed many people during his life but right now he felt like this was his first kiss ever.

You felt fire inside of you. You had thought about what kissing him would be like a million times since you were a teenager but no imagination would ever come close to how the real thing feels like. You feel his entire body pressed against yours, his warm hand on your lower back drawing you more into him, if it was possible; his desire for you reassured by the feeling of his bulge against you.

When his lips travel from your own lips to your jaw and then your neck, you can't help but let a soft moan out. As soon as it leaves your mouth you feel him slightly biting your pulse point. You pull at the curls on the nape of the back of his neck and your hips can't help to seek some friction to relieve the ache at your core; his thigh now in between your own two.

Just after the first roll of your hips, you both can hear your mother calling from you just from the other side of the front door of the house.

“Mija, are you in here?” she asks while pushing open the front door. You and Javier pull away from each other faster than you´ve ever moved before.

“Oh there you both are ¿Tu padre me dijo que se iba mijo? (your dad told me that you´re leaving son?)” she asks Javier when she´s in front of you; Javi hasn't turned around towards her yet, too afraid since the front of his jeans are tented still. Your mom looks between you two with a confused face.

“Si, ma. (yes, mom) I was just accompanying him to the truck in case there was any car blocking the way, you know, to alert the owner if it was the case” you hope your lie is believable enough. She looks at you now.

“Está ruborizada, mija. Debería alejarse del sol un rato (You're flustered daughter. You should stay away from the sun for a bit)” she tells you with a worried look on her face, always the protective mother.

“I will ma” you answer thanking all the gods above that she doesn't question the situation.

She looks at Javier, who is still not facing her, and looks at you again. She mouths to you, pointing with her head at Javier, “is he okay?”. You take the opportunity and shake your head no, better for her to worry a little about him and think that you´re both here because he's not okay and you´re comforting him, that she thinks that you may be doing what you were actually doing just moments ago.

She nods and then says “well, i'll see you another day mijo, cuídese (take care)” she then returns to the party through the fence door.

You know he's fighting against his own mind again, so you talk before he gets the opportunity to convince himself of anything.

“Hey, we haven't done anything wrong. So, stop that thought” you say quickly, grabbing his face between your hands, making him look at you straight into your eyes.

“Yeah? Are you sure about that, vampirita? Because I feel like an asshole that took advantage of the daughter of the woman that raised him alongside his own mom” he confesses to you with an angry look on his face, but you know his anger is not towards you but to himself.

“Advantage? Again, I'm a consenting adult and that was a consented kiss for sure. If anyone would ever be forced into a kiss it would be you not me” you let his face go when you start saying the last part.

His hands are the ones now framing your face “Cariño, i wanted that kiss the same as you if not more” he makes you look at him into his eyes, so you can read him just like always “Dios (God) I'm going to hell” he tells more to himself than to you “I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since we saw each other on that parking lot” you can see only truth and longing in his eyes.

You put your hands over his on your cheeks “Well then that makes two of us” you let out a little chuckle “we could try this… keep it between us until we know it´ll work…” you look at him with hope in your eyes.

Javier can't help but let out a big sigh “every bone in me tells me to not let happen any of this, but i don't think i´ve ever been able to tell you no, vampirita” you can't help your face from forming the biggest smile you´ve ever had, you launch into him and wrap your arms around him, then you kiss him again.

Next chapter

[softstarlite]

The Casualty of Love

CHAPTER 5

Summary: He's back home. You have almost forgotten how warm his eyes were and how big your crush for him was.

Warnings: Age gap (Javi is 40 and reader is 27), smut, oral f!receiving, fingering, unprotected P in V (don't be stupid like them and wrap it up), reader is on the pill, creampie, slight praise link, some cockiness from both Javi and reader, yet again another interruption from the icon itself Chucho in an important moment. (Let me know if I missed any warnings)

Rating: +18 (explicit)

Word Count: 2.9K

Chapter 3 / Chapter 4 / Masterlist

A/N: Here you guys have chapter 5. This is my first time ever writing smut so I would gladly take constructive criticism, please be nice about it :-) Hope you guys like it!! Love you amores and thank you for being patient! I made it a little longer to compensate <3 <3

Divider by @saradika

You arrive at the Peña ranch around 4 pm; as you get out of your car you see that Chucho is exactly where you knew he'll be, sitting on the porch with a beer in his hand, enjoying his well earned break from the ranch chores.

“Hey viejito!” you greet him while closing the car door.

“Oh hi mija!” he greets back, raising the beer bottle towards you “Again here? Vamos a tener que empezar a pagarte (we'll have to start paying you)” he chuckles.

“Sabe que nunca se lo aceptaría (you know i'd never accept it) I love helping here, been doing since i could walk” you send him a playful wink, both of you knowing that back then you were playing more than helping but Chucho would've never complain about it, he adored having you around.

He laughs, takes his hat off and fans himself with it “true, true. Well then go along honey, you can help Javi feed the horses at the barn, así se resguarda del este jodido calor (that way you'll shelter yourself from this damn heat)”

You give him a quick nod “Ay, Ay, captain” you say signaling with two fingers at your forehead and then turning around and walking towards the barn. Once inside you close the door behind you, so the heat wouldn't come inside and bother the horses. You see the horses already munching the hay away, but you already knew that's what you´d be finding when coming in here; you take off your boots and leave them where you´ll remember it. You climb to the upper part of the barn and then you finally see what, or better, who you were looking for.

Javi is there sitting on a bale of hay, looking down at the watch on his wrist, the action making the hat over his head shelter the face that you like so much from you. You sometimes can't help asking yourself how he didn't get killed while on the DEA with how easy it was for you to sneak up on him. You decide to lean on a wooden pillar and cross your arms over your chest then you clear your throat making Javier´s head shoot up.

“God, finally…” he groans but you´re not sure if it's from annoyance or the noise his knees make when he gets up from the bale.

“You´re too dramatic, i'm only a few minutes late” you instantly smile as soon as his whole presence envelops you when he comes in front of you putting his hands on your waist.

“Haven't you heard that time is gold” he says looking you up and down. You can't help but to roll your eyes even if the smile on your face doesn't disappear.

Your hands travel to the front of his short sleeved red button up where you fist the fabric and make him lean on you to link your lips with his. While your tongues get acquainted with each other, his hands travel to your hips and then to your ass, where he squeezes it and groans into your mouth then pulls away from it.

“Cariño, couldn't you have worn one of those pretty dresses I love? It would make this so much easier and quicker” he says with almost desperation in his eyes.

“Sure, Javi, cause me coming to the ranch to help with chores in a dress would be veeeery believable” you say while unbuttoning his shirt and running a hand over every bit of his chest that is revealed.

“Bebita, I'm sure that with you flashing just one of your gorgeous smiles would be enough for my pops to not question anything you do” he says while working on the button and zipper of your denim shorts.

You both don't say anything more about it, especially now that Javi has made work of your shorts and has pulled them down your legs, making you step out of them.

He groans when he sees your lacy underwear, still kneeling from helping you out of your shorts “Fuck cariño, you wore these just for me?” he runs a finger under the waistband of your lace panties from one hip to the other while looking up to you with dark eyes. You just nod while inevitably biting your lower lip.

He curses once more and takes the waistband of the lacy underwear with his two hands now and starts to drag it down your legs without taking his eyes from you. The speed in which he makes the action is utterly torture.

“Javi…” you whine with more neediness in your voice than you intended.

“Paciencia cariño (Patience sweetheart)” he says while making eye contact with the wetness between your legs. He's not sure if he is torturing you or him more; with the way his cock was tenting his jeans, he would guess the answer is himself.

He traces your folds with two fingers, you sigh in relief immediately even if It still didn't feel like enough.

In the past two weeks since the barbecue at Doña Lucia´s, you and Javi have been finding little moments to indulge in each other, you both even had a chance to have something similar to a date when Chucho asked Javi a week ago if he could pick up some things from a nearby town that he had ordered and you offered yourself immediately to help him, showing a big concern for Javi´s back in chance for some alone time away from the worry of getting caught. You guys talked all the way there, getting to know the people you had become during your time apart, after picking up what you went there for, he insisted to buy you lunch, so you did, and to finish on the way back to Laredo you had to stop on the side of the road because you both didn't want to end the day without feeling each other in every way possible.

When Javi´s mouth finally makes contact with you, you have to press a hand over your mouth to silence the moan coming from it, your other hand finding home in his hair. Every time Javi touched you in any way you could swear you would die but at the same gave you more life, it was like anything that you ́ve ever felt in your entire life.

“Fuck, cariño, the sweetest thing I´ve ever had” he says looking up into your eyes when he detaches from you to bring two fingers to your entrance.

Your eyes roll back and your hand leaves your face to cling the wooden pillar behind you.

“What, el gato te comió la lengua, cariño? (did the cat eat your tongue, sweetheart?)” he says to you with a fucking smirk that you are going to wipe out of his face. You bring your left foot up, bringing it to his crotch that you rub with it. As soon as you do it, the smirk on his face disappears into an open mouth, breathing heavily.

“Te ha comido la lengua el gato, Javi? (Has the cat eaten your tongue, Javi?)” you use his own teasing back at him, trying to give him a smirk but when he moves his fingers deeper into you, only a moan comes out of your lips.

“I'm sorry, what was that sweetheart?” the smirk comes back to his face but not as big as before, more open mouthed. Your hand goes from his curls to his forearm to grip it, you´re not even sure if to keep him there or to pull him away.

“F-fuck Javi…” you close your eyes and push your head back into the wooden pillar. You know Javi has now stood up from his kneeling position, not just from the sound his knees make but also because the action makes your foot fall to the ground.

“Uh-uh bebita” he takes your chin with his free hand, bringing your head back towards him, which makes you open your eyes “eyes on me hermosa, eyes on me” he instructs you and of course you obey, like you had any other option right now, like you would choose any other option.

You just nod however you can with your chin still in his hand, and moan.

“Now i want you to come on my fingers before i fuck you, okay bebita?” he says without taking his eyes away from yours, and you could swear you could come just by looking at them. You, obviously, nod once more, and then you feel his thumb make contact with your clit, circling it with the perfect amount of pressure. In the little time that two weeks are, Javier has somehow learned how to take you apart at the speed he wishes every single time.

You start to feel that knot forming in your lower stomach, making you lean your forehead into his “I'm so close baby…” you are able to somehow form the words even if you can promise that your mind is lost completely.

“Deja que pase hermosa (let it happen beautiful), i got you” the pressure on your clit increases and that's what makes the knot unravel. Javi has to kiss you to silence the beautiful sounds that you´re making. He stops the movements of his fingers inside of you but he doesn't stop the movements over your clit, helping you come down off your high.

As soon as his hand leaves your cunt, you´re reaching for his belt, trying to unbuckle it with way too eager hands.

Javi can´t help to chuckle teasingly “that needy for my cock bebita?” he asks you with a raised eyebrow.

“If you prefer it, I can just get my shorts back up and leave, and you deal with this” you say, introducing a hand inside his jeans, finding no underwear under them as always, and grabbing his cock “by yourself” you say with smugness.

He grunts and helps you pull his jeans down his legs; he then pulls up your tank top so it rests over your breasts and brings one of them to his mouth while one of his hands brings your left leg to his hip, to make room for himself.

“I'm not going to last very long today, cariño” he informs you while his fingers roll one of your pebbled nipples between them.

“Good, cause I'm sure we don't have much more time left” you grab his wrist to look at his watch which confirms your words, then you grab his butt with both hands and push him towards you so he gets the message.

He finally does it; he leaves your nipples and grabs himself, bringing it to your cunt and pushing into you, making you stretch so delicious, just like every time. You both let out a big breath and stay still to get used to the godly feeling.

After a few seconds, he starts to move, at first at a slow pace that makes you feel every inch of him caress your walls; then, when he groans in your ear and bites your shoulder, he begins to thrust at a killing pace.

“Fuck cariño, you feel too good” he moans and grips your hips with a strength that you know will leave bruises because it has already happen several times in the last two weeks “I need you to come again on my cock before i come, you think you can do that for me bebita?”

Before Javi, you were lucky if a guy would make you come once during sex, most of your orgasms would come from your own hands or from your trusted vibrator; but since your first time with Javier you were surprise to see that what gives him more pleasure is to give you it, he made sure each time to make you come at least once, which normally wasn't enough for him.

Your heart had already made the decision of giving Javi everything that his own heart desired if it was in your hands, so you really didn't have a chance to say no.

You sneak a hand in between your bodies and bring it to your clit, where you rub in circles, to help yourself concede his wish. Between that and the amazing feeling of him drilling into you, you start to feel that knot tightening again. You moan once and knowing that they were more to come from how close to the edge you feel, you bring one of Javi´s hands to your mouth to cover it and then put your free hand on his curls, gripping them which makes him moan himself as you've learnt.

“I can feel how close you are cariño, pussy´s choking me, come on bebita come on, be a good girl and soak my cock” it's his filthy mouth that makes the knot unravel again and your second orgasm blinds you for a moment, your walls clenching around him, pulling him with you, making him groan and moan as he still as deep he can go inside of you and paints your walls. Thank god to the person that invented the pill.

Javi´s hand leaves your mouth as soon as your jaw relaxes; he rests his forehead in yours while you both try to catch your breath. You peck his lips and chuckle “better every single time, somehow” he chuckles as well at your statement.

Javier feels wrong every time he's not able to give you any proper aftercare… Even in Colombia, his informants would get a few seconds of cuddling and a washcloth if they asked for it, and you definitely meant more to him than any informant ever did.

You both get dressed again, you help him with his jeans so he doesn't have to crouch down for them. While he is finishing to button up his shirt, without counting the two or three buttons that he always leaves unbutton of course, you approach him and start to run your hands through his hair, trying to get his beautiful curls back on their place.

He abandons his button to look at you like you´re hanging the damn sky. His hand comes to your waist, where he squeezes softly to get your attention away from his hair and into him.

“Let me take you out” he says straightforwardly, nothing else. Javi hadn't been able to stop thinking about your almost date. He had already made peace with the fact that a good life wasn't for him, that he didn't deserve it, the first sign was when his mom got diagnosed, then when Lorraine told him about the baby he thought for a moment that everything could be fine, but then Lorraine told him the truth and it was like another sign of it. And after everything he had to do in Colombia, every decision he made, he was even more sure that a good life wasn't planned for him, but god ever since that day in the parking lot, every time he looks at you he can feel it, hope in the middle of his chest.

You furrow your eyes and open your mouth to answer him but before you could do it, you both hear the barn door being open, obviously by Chucho. You take Javi´s wrist and check the time again, Chucho´s usual break time was over, you both had gotten lost on time. You look up at Javi with widened eyes and he whispers curses. You start to look around you guys, and when you see the barn window that you were 80% sure had bales of hay underneath it, you take his face between your hands.

“You trust me?” you don't take your eyes off him. He nods and you hear Chucho call for the both of you “Mijo? Chiquitita?”

You give his lips a quick peck “Go down to your dad and say i'm with the cattle” you don't leave room for him to respond to you; you softly push him in the direction of the ladder.

He climbs the ladder down whilst shouting “coming!” to his pops. You run to the window and look through it, when you see that thankfully you were right about the bales of hay, you look behind you over your shoulder, hearing for a moment the conversation between Chucho and Javier.

“She said she wanted to go see and greet the cattle” Javi explains to his dad with a shrug, he knew that it was a good excuse, since you´ve been doing exactly that for many many years.

You finally look back through the window and take a deep breath, closing your eyes and asking whoever was out there to not let you get injured. You open your eyes and make the jump, but you haven't planned for the sound that your body colliding with the bales would make, you scrunch your nose at not only the sound but also the pain of it.

Both Javi and Chucho hear it, they turn their heads towards the direction of the noise, Javi intuiting where or who it came from but Chucho furrows his eyebrows in confusion.

[softstarlite]

The Casualty of Love

CHAPTER 2

Summary: He's back home. You have almost forgotten how warm his eyes were and how big your crush for him was.

Warnings: Age gap (Javier is 40 and reader is 27), talks of baby loss, talks of pregnancy, angst, cheating, mentions of cancer, mentions of death.

Rating: +18 (not explicit)

Word Count: 2.9k

Chapter 1 / Masterlist

A/N: here you go guys!! Second chapter is up!! I'm feeling so much better from my stupid cold. I would like to keep a schedule with posting, my goal is to post at least one new chapter every week but I had a cornea transplant less than 5 months ago (I still have 14 stitches on my right eye) so sometimes I need to rest my eye from screen time or the pain sometimes gets too bad and I need to rest in general, so I don't know if I'll be able to meet my goal every week, sorry in advance. I hope you guys like this new chapter!! <3 <3

Divider by @saradika

Javier wipes the sweat of his hands on the front of his jeans for the fourth time in the last hour since he started getting ready to go to Maria´s house, he looks at his reflection on the mirror, he can feel fear engulf his body, fear of disappointing Maria, he wasn't the same man he was when he left for Colombia. That day…

His mom, Alma, had been diagnosed with lung cancer four months before it happened, when Lorraine had told him that she was pregnant, he was shit scared, how could he be a father? He didn't know anything about being one, he was only 27, he assumed that he had at least 5 or 6 years more before even thinking about having a family of his own.

He didn't hesitate to get on one knee and proposed to Lorraine, part of him was happy that his mom would be able to meet at least one of her grandchildren; the doctors had already prepare them for the worst, the cancer was very aggressive, and even if his mom was still young, only 44, they had detected it very late.

The night before the wedding Lorraine showed up at his parents ranch, crying her heart out. They were sleeping in different houses since it was bad luck to see each other before the wedding. He got really worried, he didn't believe in that tradition, she had been the one very keen in doing it so it was already rare that she had showed up there unannounced but even more that she showed up crying.

“Lor? What happened?” he had been sitting on the front porch when she appeared, he got up from his seat quickly and headed to her putting his hands on her cheeks “What is it Lor? Is the baby okay?” he asked her with so much worry in his voice.

Lorraine only kept saying sorry and shaking her head no again and again. “Please baby, tell me what is happening, are you hurt?” he pleaded her.

“I'm sorry Javi… I'm so sorry… There´s no baby…” she said, not able to meet his gaze.

“What? Baby…” he could feel tears in his eyes already, he thought that she had lost it, he never would've thought that she had done what she did. He tries to make her look at him ¡. “Baby…Lor, look at me. Baby it's not your fault, we need to take you-” he was interrupted by her.

“No, Javi… There's no baby, there never has been a baby…” she took a step away from him, feeling shame in what she had done.

“What? Lorraine, this is not funny… Stop it” that was the only possibility in his head, she must have been pranking him, she would never hurt him this way, she loved him, right?

“I'm so sorry Javi, baby…” she tried to reach for him now but he didn't say anything and just walked inside without a word.

The next morning no one could find Javier, until his mom saw a little note on the kitchen table where he had written that he had accepted the job with the DEA in Colombia that the rest could be explained by Lorraine.

You were only 14 when you were sat down by your mom and Alma and got the news about her sickness, that was your first heartbreak, but definitely not your last. You loved Alma like a second mother, she was there when you said your first words, she had been the one encouraging you when you took your first steps… You couldn't imagine a life and a world without her, without her smile or her kindness… No, it had to be a mistake, the doctors mixed up some papers and they gave her the diagnosis of someone else, she couldn't leave you…

When Javier left, you weren't given the real reason from the adults around you, they told you that he and Lorraine weren't together anymore and he had to go work in Colombia, that was it. Obviously, living in a place like Laredo you heard the truth very soon, and felt heartbroken all over again for him, as big as your crush for him was, when you saw how excited he was when he talked about anything related with the baby in the weekly dinners your families shared, it filled your heart to see him just happy, so you couldn't understand how Lorraine had been able to break him like that, she said that he loved him and wanted to spend her entire life with him but then do that? How can you be so cruel to someone that you supposedly love?

A year later from Javier´s move to Colombia, Alma passed away, you only remember crying for three days straight without even sleeping. You remember your mom telling you that “Javiercito is coming for the funeral, he'll be here tomorrow morning”, then the next thing you remember is been dressed in all black, that made you think that Alma would´ve hate it, then not been able to see the casket through the tears and the last thing you remember of that day was how Javier had put his arms around you, caressing your hair and telling you how much Alma loved you and that would never leave you. It never did, you could feel her love everyday, in little things like the chirping of the birds outside, the warm sun, the little desserts you would bake with her recipes, etc…

That was the last time you saw Javier, when you were 15 and crying for the biggest lost in your life.

He parks his truck on Maria´s driveway and gets out with a nervous sigh. After he knocks on the door twice, you open the door with a big smile, fuck, he thought you wouldn't be here. He didn't have a problem with you being here, on the contrary, he was very happy when he saw you the other day, it had been way too long without seeing you. But the problem was that you had grown up… And fuck, did the years had treat you amanzingly. You were a full on woman now, and he didn't like that, because it made his body feel things that it shouldn't. If Maria or his own father could read what had gone through his mind since he first saw you a few days ago, he would definitely be six feet under.

“Hey! You're here!” you say with that big smile on your face. He doesn't say anything, just nods and gives you a tight smile back.

“Come in!” you move a little to give him enough space to come inside. “Mom is still cooking what must be her twentieth dish” you chuckle. He slips inside but you hadn't anticipated how broad his shoulders were so he bumps one of his shoulders into you.

“Oh, sorry” he apologizes and you can't help but feel a million goosebumps all over your body. “She shouldn't have trouble herself…”

You shake the feeling away, you weren't a stupid teenager anymore. “yeah, tell that to her” you smirk knowing he would never dare.

He walks to the kitchen with you behind, he remembers the way as if no time has passed, as if he hadn't gone through more than a decade without putting a foot in this house. When he makes it past the arch of the kitchen, he sees your mom, her back facing him, he can see the grey conquering her whole hair. For a moment he can almost see his own mom beside her cutting some vegetables.

Seeing his silence, you decide to clear your throat to make your presence known to your mom. She turns around starting a sentence that sounds like a question about who was at the door, but as soon as she sees Javier there, before her, her mouth shuts and she freezes. Knowing they'll need a moment, you walk around them to the stove to continue to stir whatever dish your mom is making now, so it doesn't burn while they catch up.

“Javiercito!” she almost screams, launching herself into him, a hand on the back of his head and the other arm across his back.

“Maria…” is all that he can get out of his mouth, apart from the biggest breath out that he has ever let out. He didn't even know that he was holding that breath for so long.

“Déjame verte bien mijo (Let me get a good look at you, my son)” she pulls away from him and pushes him a little back by the shoulders, then looks him up and down like she was examining that he isn´t missing anything.

“Ma, esta bien, no le agobies (Mom, he's fine, don't bother him)” you say from the stove, not even looking at them.

“¿Bien? (fine?) Have you seen him? Está demasiado delgado, gracias a dios que prepare suficiente comida. Siéntate, mijo. (He's too skinny, thank god i´ve prepare enough food. Sit, my son) I'll bring you some food right away” She says, patting his cheek and signaling with a hand to the kitchen table, then she goes back to the stove and replaces the place you were filling.

You chuckle and shake your head in disbelief. “Do you want something to drink, Javi?” you ask him while opening the fridge to get a beer for yourself.

He talks again after feeling overwhelmed by the situation. “Sure, whatever you´re having” with that you pull out another beer for him and after uncapping them, you hand him one. “Thanks” he says, not meeting your eye.

You sit across from him on the kitchen table and take a sip of your own beer. Your mom puts a bowl of Pozole in front of each of you, and while you eat, she and Javier talk about a million things, how things around the house had been since your dad died, how you and her go to Chucho´s every now and then, how you help Chucho everytime the fruit trees need harvesting (which brings a blush to your cheeks when Javi asks if that's right and looks at you), and of course your mom starts to let Javi know about all the gossip he has missed in Laredo, which by his face, he couldn't care less to be honest but i guess your mom didn't want to pick that up. He just nods and hums while eating, while your mom tells him about how the girl from the Gonzalez´s was seen in the local theater every week casually talking and giggling with the guy working there; after a bit something pricks his ears, specifically when your name is mentioned.

“And you wouldn't believe all the commotion that it caused , pff, nos tuvimos que quedar en casa varios días antes de que ella se atreviera a enseñar la cara (we had to stay at home for a few days before she was brave enough to show her face)” she says while picking up both of your bowls to bring to the sink. You don't know where to hide in that moment, you couldn't believe your mom was telling him about that.

“Ma…” you say, trying to make her drop the subject. She obviously doesn't want to catch your desperation.

“What? Sorry i was lost in my head for a moment” he says not realizing that you don't want the subject to be brought up.

“Ay mijo, te estaba diciendo (i was telling you) about how she used to go out with the Lopez´s boy, Diego, and she heard from Doña Lucía about him and a girl, that no one knew, been seen in Jacinto´s ice cream shop, then she decided to confront him that same day, but she instead saw him and the girl on the town square just there,” she makes a dramatic gesture with her hands like she was physically pointing at them right there. “just sitting on a bench, muy acaramelados los muy sinvergüenzas (very lovey-dovey, those scoundrels). Doña Lucía told me that she just took the lemonade in the girl's hand and threw it to him, allí delante de todos, ¿tu te crees, mijo? (in front of everybody, can you believe it, my son?)” she shakes her head in almost disappointment.

“Well, if I'm honest with you Maria. Creo que le hizo poco, yo le hubiese dado un buen puño” you can see how his hands become fists, and his jaw becomes more tense. Javi feels a fire inside of him that he hasn't felt since he left Colombia, he already knows that if he crosses paths with Diego Lopez, he won't be exactly kind towards him.”Wait, he cheated and you had to hide at home?!” he asks, now looking at you.

“I didn't hide, she did” you say pointing towards your mom, who's washing the dishes, with your head. “I was just going through a breakup like a normal person” you shrug your shoulders to try to take some weight off of the conversation.

He nods, understanding now the situation. “Good, you shouldn't feel embarrassed, it's his loss” he huffs “He must be as stupid as he was when he was a kid” he says more to himself than to you, it makes you blush again.

“Javier Jesús Peña!!” your mom scolds him from the sink, turning her head towards him. Javi for a moment feels like a teenager again, being scolded by Maria and his mom for saying a bad word in the kitchen of Pena´s ranch while they make empanadas.

“What? No podes defender al desgraciado, hizo daño a nuestra vampirita (you can't defend that bastard, he hurted our little vampire” he chuckles sincerely now. You gasp at the mention of your old childhood nickname he gave you for being obsessed with the book Dracula when you were 9 years old.

“You don't want to play that game, Peña” you challenge him, squinting your eyes at him, but a little smile in your lips betrays your facade. He laughs with his whole belly now, throwing his head back. You decide right then that you like seeing him laugh sincerely a lot.

After some hours of more delicious food and banter, Javier informs you that he needs to go back to the ranch before his dad comes looking for him for leaving him all day alone with the chores.

You walk him to the door, his arms full of mountains of tupperware full of leftovers that your mom had insisted him to take for himself and Chucho.

You open the door for him since he has his hands occupied, those hands that you´ve been stealing glances to all day, you wonder how rough they would feel around your own hand, around your neck, around your- “Thanks for um… everything” he says interrupting your thread of thoughts.

“Don't mention it” you give him a shy smile, like he could´ve read what you had been thinking. Next thing you know, your mouth is working by it´s own mind, you ask without thinking.”Are you going to the barbecue at Doña Lucia's house this Sunday after church?” when you realize how eager your voice sounds about the prospect of seeing him again in less than two days you add “I believe she invited Chucho the other day, and i'm sure she did it in person with the sole purpose of having you at the barbecue and confirm the rumors of you being fully back home” you chuckle trying to play it cool, god you felt like you were 15 again, drooling for him.

His dad had told him about the gathering but he wasn't planning on going, but now, seeing the slight spark your eyes got when you asked him about his possible attendance, he couldn't think of a better plan for Sunday. “Yeah, my pops told me the other day. I take you´re going too?” you nod with doe eyes and he can't help his eyes for going down to where you tongue tips out of your mouth to wet your lower lip, he gulps and can feel a drop of sweat going down his spine; his mind wondering how you tongue and your lips might feel against his own, against his neck or his chest…

Your mom suddenly yells your name from inside the house. “Dani is calling you, mija!!” you both can hear her voice coming from the living room where the telephone is.

“Dila que voy ma!! (tell her i'll be right there mom!!)” you yell towards her, turning your head over your shoulder, then you turn towards Javi again. You guys keep looking into each other's eyes for what feels like a second and an eternity at the same time until you decide that if you don't stop it, your mom will come over and ruin the moment even more. “I'll see you on Sunday then?”

He nods and then does something that makes you melt into a puddle of water into the ground, he kisses your cheek and with a breathy and deep whisper wishes you a good day to then turn around and walk to his truck on the driveway. You can't help but to stay right there frozen with your heart going way too fast and an almost shocked expression, watching how he puts the leftovers on the passenger side then gets behind the wheel and drives away; it isn´t until your mom calls your name again that you defroze.

Next chapter

[softstarlite]

Se nos rompió el amor

SNEAK PEEK

Javier Peña x f!hispanic reader

Summary: You thought your love was strong and could conquer everything, I guess you were wrong...

Warnings: established relationship, implied age gap, angst (like A LOT), slight toxic Javier, very light dark Javier, alcohol consumption. (If I remember others, I'll add them)

Rating: +18

Masterlist / Chapter 1 / Chapter 2

A/N: yes sorry I've started another WIP when I've been struggling to continue The Casualty of Love, arrest me if you must. <3

Divider by @saradika

You fidget with your hands on your lap like you always do when you're nervous, before you can continue to let your anxiety eat you, you hear your last name called. You look up from your lap to the nurse looking around the waiting room and then you stand up.

“Soy yo (it's me)” you inform her and when she signals for you to follow her, you do.

Minutes later after a full check up, when you hear the confirmation of what you feared from the doctor's mouth, you feel your entire body going cold, you and him hadn't even talked before about this possibility, which now that you think about it was incredibly irresponsible.

Your walk home is something that you don't even remember by the time you´re already there. How were you supposed to tell Javi? You guys have been having your worst moment in your relationship lately, always irritated answers to questions, the rolling eyes or the groaning after a complaint and let's not get started on the countless arguments.

You knew that his job was frustrating, stressful and many more things that can mess up with somebody but you are not at fault for any of those things and yet you were paying for them. You fear this would only make the entire situation worse and you would lose the only family you have left.

To be continued...

[softstarlite]

Javier Peña Masterlist

Dividers by @reveriesources and @saradika-graphics

The Casualty of Love

Rating: +18

Summary: He's back home. You have almost forgotten how warm his eyes were and how big your crush for him was.

-> Sneak peek

-> Chapter 1

-> Chapter 2

-> Chapter 3

-> Chapter 4

-> Chapter 5

Extras:

Playlist (songs I've listen to while writing this fic)

Se nos rompió el amor

Rating: +18

Summary: You thought your love was strong and could conquer everything, I guess you were wrong...

-> Sneak peek

-> Chapter 1

-> Chapter 2

-> Chapter 3

-> Watermelon Sugar

[softstarlite]

New chapter of The Casualty of Love tomorrow!!

[tanzthompson]

Cute!

The Casualty of Love

CHAPTER 4

Summary: He's back home. You have almost forgotten how warm his eyes were and how big your crush for him was.

Warnings: Age gap (Javi is 40 and reader is 27), dry humping, kissing, mentions of mental health, mild insecurity from reader, cockblocking. (let me know if I left out any warnings)

Rating: +18 (a little explicit)

Word Count: 2k

Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 / Masterlist

A/N: Here's chapter 4 guys!! Hope you enjoy it. None of my work is beta read, so there might be some mistakes or things like that. Remember that english isn't my first language; feel free to help me improve but always been kind.

Javier makes his way through the backyard to where his dad is; before talking, he takes a deep breath “Pops, i'm heading out” the fingers on the hand by his side fidgeting.

“Already Javier? You haven't lasted even two hours this time…” Chucho sighs while putting the plate of barbacued chicken down.

“Yeah, pops, you know I hate these things…” he says, not meeting Chucho´s eyes.

“You didn't seem to be having the worst of times in there” Chucho points to the house with his head.

At Chucho´s comment, anxiety takes control over Javier´s body; maybe his dad did see something, what if he was too lost in your beautiful eyes and lips to notice?

“You both always knew how to comfort each other” Chucho continues after the lack of speaking from Javier “She always knew that you needed to get away from crowds at these things, so when you eventually disappeared, she just would lie to your mama and Maria, saying that you were at the bathroom or something else that would make them not come looking for you”

“Well, it seems we´ve spent way too long apart” Chucho observes that Javi´s feet have started to fidget and he worries “You think someone could drive you later? I wouldn't want to stop your fun” Javier´s eyes finally meet Chucho´s, making his dad even worry more for him when he sees anxiety in them.

“Javier, is everything okay? I don't mind going home already if you´re not fine… it's not like they don't make one of these every week or two weeks” Chucho says, ready to get up from his chair and leave.

“No, no, pops i'm fine, just a little overwhelmed, that's it” he calms his dad, reaching a hand out to stop him from getting up.

“You sure?” Javi nods to reassure him “well then okay, i'll ask someone to give me a ride back later” he looks at Javi as serious as he can now “call Doña Lucia´s home phone if you need anything, the number is on the phone book that's in the kitchen, okay mijo?”

“Yes pops, i will if i need to” he pats Chucho´s shoulder once and then turns towards the fence door to go back towards the truck.

When Javi left the inside of the house at first fear took hold of your body, fear of rejection, fear of him avoiding you in regret of what could've happened if his dad had not come in. Soon that fear becomes anger, at him for just stomping out of the situation without acknowledgment, anger of you or the situation, or both for that matter.

As you said, you´re not a teeneager anymore, you´re not letting him do this, specially him; any other man would be a disappointment but they would just disappear from your life eventually, but him, even if you wanted to get him out of your life, which you think you would never want, it would never work, Chucho was your family and you would never abandon him and your mom was his family as well.

You hop off the kitchen counter, put the beer in your hand down, not caring even the slightest about it now, and go through the house towards the front door. You step out onto the front porch, your eyes survey the front of the house, searching for the truck you´ve known for many years now, through the sea of cars from the people who have come to the get together. As soon as you see it, you walk to it and see that no one is inside of it yet.

You know him, you know he's going to try to run from the situation, so he's going to come to the truck eventually. You lean into the driver's door, crossing your arms over your chest; right now you don't even care about the killing heat from the sun shooting straight at you from above or that your shoes are forgotten somewhere in the backyard.

Your mind goes through a million things you want to tell him when he comes but as soon as your ears pick up on the sound of the fence door by the side of the house, you are not sure what you want to tell him, insecurity hurts your chest. What if he was actually going to shove you back before Chucho came in instead of leaning in?

You can hear him curse when he sees you there leaning into his truck.

“Vampirita…” he says when he stops about two big strides from you, his tone pleading.

“No, don't vampirita me” you uncross your arms, letting them fall at your sides “you´re not running away from this, i'm not letting you”

He takes one stride towards you, but still he's not as close as you want him, as you need him “this,” he points at the air between you “can't happen”

A twinge of pain crosses your chest and one of your hands shoots to it like it could physically take it away “why not?” you know your eyes are already glossy, the fear of rejection you had before is now becoming a real thing. You feel like a little kid right now, and you're hating yourself for it.

“Because you…you are you and i'm me, cariño” he makes the attempt to touch you but he stops himself halfway.

You scoff “what an amazing argument Javier” you take a little step towards him, still leaving some distance between you two “I don't know if you´ve notice, but we are both consent adults”

“Trust me, cariño, i ́ve definitely noticed it'' his eyes can't help to run your body “that is the problem”

“Then…” you break the space between you both, your fingers caressing his upper arm “kiss me, please”

Please, you just said please, to him… Javier closes his eyes hard, feeling the cord of control inside of him tense more and more every second you stand there in front of him, your fingers touching him even over his white short sleeved button up.

“Javi…” he opens his eyes after hearing you “please…”

And just like that the cord of self control snaps; one of his hands goes straight to tangle into your hair, the other takes home in your lower back. His lips collide with yours; the sweetest honey he's ever had.

He kisses you like his life depends on it, it starts slow and sweet, but after a moment it becomes hungry. You open your mouth, an invitation to him, and he can't help but groan as his tongue meets yours.

He feels one of your hands fist the front of his button up by his stomach, the other palm flat in his chest, where his buttons are open.

Javier can't think of a moment that felt more in peace and right in his life, even if guilt was eating him from inside. He has kissed many people during his life but right now he felt like this was his first kiss ever.

You felt fire inside of you. You had thought about what kissing him would be like a million times since you were a teenager but no imagination would ever come close to how the real thing feels like. You feel his entire body pressed against yours, his warm hand on your lower back drawing you more into him, if it was possible; his desire for you reassured by the feeling of his bulge against you.

When his lips travel from your own lips to your jaw and then your neck, you can't help but let a soft moan out. As soon as it leaves your mouth you feel him slightly biting your pulse point. You pull at the curls on the nape of the back of his neck and your hips can't help to seek some friction to relieve the ache at your core; his thigh now in between your own two.

Just after the first roll of your hips, you both can hear your mother calling from you just from the other side of the front door of the house.

“Mija, are you in here?” she asks while pushing open the front door. You and Javier pull away from each other faster than you´ve ever moved before.

“Oh there you both are ¿Tu padre me dijo que se iba mijo? (your dad told me that you´re leaving son?)” she asks Javier when she´s in front of you; Javi hasn't turned around towards her yet, too afraid since the front of his jeans are tented still. Your mom looks between you two with a confused face.

“Si, ma. (yes, mom) I was just accompanying him to the truck in case there was any car blocking the way, you know, to alert the owner if it was the case” you hope your lie is believable enough. She looks at you now.

“Está ruborizada, mija. Debería alejarse del sol un rato (You're flustered daughter. You should stay away from the sun for a bit)” she tells you with a worried look on her face, always the protective mother.

“I will ma” you answer thanking all the gods above that she doesn't question the situation.

She looks at Javier, who is still not facing her, and looks at you again. She mouths to you, pointing with her head at Javier, “is he okay?”. You take the opportunity and shake your head no, better for her to worry a little about him and think that you´re both here because he's not okay and you´re comforting him, that she thinks that you may be doing what you were actually doing just moments ago.

She nods and then says “well, i'll see you another day mijo, cuídese (take care)” she then returns to the party through the fence door.

You know he's fighting against his own mind again, so you talk before he gets the opportunity to convince himself of anything.

“Hey, we haven't done anything wrong. So, stop that thought” you say quickly, grabbing his face between your hands, making him look at you straight into your eyes.

“Yeah? Are you sure about that, vampirita? Because I feel like an asshole that took advantage of the daughter of the woman that raised him alongside his own mom” he confesses to you with an angry look on his face, but you know his anger is not towards you but to himself.

“Advantage? Again, I'm a consenting adult and that was a consented kiss for sure. If anyone would ever be forced into a kiss it would be you not me” you let his face go when you start saying the last part.

His hands are the ones now framing your face “Cariño, i wanted that kiss the same as you if not more” he makes you look at him into his eyes, so you can read him just like always “Dios (God) I'm going to hell” he tells more to himself than to you “I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since we saw each other on that parking lot” you can see only truth and longing in his eyes.

You put your hands over his on your cheeks “Well then that makes two of us” you let out a little chuckle “we could try this… keep it between us until we know it´ll work…” you look at him with hope in your eyes.

Javier can't help but let out a big sigh “every bone in me tells me to not let happen any of this, but i don't think i´ve ever been able to tell you no, vampirita” you can't help your face from forming the biggest smile you´ve ever had, you launch into him and wrap your arms around him, then you kiss him again.

[kirsteng42]

I’m loving this so, so much!! I love my Javi, that man can do no wrong in my eyes, so I’m so interested to see him and reader interact more as there is definitely strong chemistry there. Roll on the next chapter, I’m excited!!!!

The Casualty of Love

CHAPTER 4

Summary: He's back home. You have almost forgotten how warm his eyes were and how big your crush for him was.

Warnings: Age gap (Javi is 40 and reader is 27), dry humping, kissing, mentions of mental health, mild insecurity from reader, cockblocking. (let me know if I left out any warnings)

Rating: +18 (a little explicit)

Word Count: 2k

Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 / Masterlist

A/N: Here's chapter 4 guys!! Hope you enjoy it. None of my work is beta read, so there might be some mistakes or things like that. Remember that english isn't my first language; feel free to help me improve but always been kind.

Javier makes his way through the backyard to where his dad is; before talking, he takes a deep breath “Pops, i'm heading out” the fingers on the hand by his side fidgeting.

“Already Javier? You haven't lasted even two hours this time…” Chucho sighs while putting the plate of barbacued chicken down.

“Yeah, pops, you know I hate these things…” he says, not meeting Chucho´s eyes.

“You didn't seem to be having the worst of times in there” Chucho points to the house with his head.

At Chucho´s comment, anxiety takes control over Javier´s body; maybe his dad did see something, what if he was too lost in your beautiful eyes and lips to notice?

“You both always knew how to comfort each other” Chucho continues after the lack of speaking from Javier “She always knew that you needed to get away from crowds at these things, so when you eventually disappeared, she just would lie to your mama and Maria, saying that you were at the bathroom or something else that would make them not come looking for you”

“Well, it seems we´ve spent way too long apart” Chucho observes that Javi´s feet have started to fidget and he worries “You think someone could drive you later? I wouldn't want to stop your fun” Javier´s eyes finally meet Chucho´s, making his dad even worry more for him when he sees anxiety in them.

“Javier, is everything okay? I don't mind going home already if you´re not fine… it's not like they don't make one of these every week or two weeks” Chucho says, ready to get up from his chair and leave.

“No, no, pops i'm fine, just a little overwhelmed, that's it” he calms his dad, reaching a hand out to stop him from getting up.

“You sure?” Javi nods to reassure him “well then okay, i'll ask someone to give me a ride back later” he looks at Javi as serious as he can now “call Doña Lucia´s home phone if you need anything, the number is on the phone book that's in the kitchen, okay mijo?”

“Yes pops, i will if i need to” he pats Chucho´s shoulder once and then turns towards the fence door to go back towards the truck.

When Javi left the inside of the house at first fear took hold of your body, fear of rejection, fear of him avoiding you in regret of what could've happened if his dad had not come in. Soon that fear becomes anger, at him for just stomping out of the situation without acknowledgment, anger of you or the situation, or both for that matter.

As you said, you´re not a teeneager anymore, you´re not letting him do this, specially him; any other man would be a disappointment but they would just disappear from your life eventually, but him, even if you wanted to get him out of your life, which you think you would never want, it would never work, Chucho was your family and you would never abandon him and your mom was his family as well.

You hop off the kitchen counter, put the beer in your hand down, not caring even the slightest about it now, and go through the house towards the front door. You step out onto the front porch, your eyes survey the front of the house, searching for the truck you´ve known for many years now, through the sea of cars from the people who have come to the get together. As soon as you see it, you walk to it and see that no one is inside of it yet.

You know him, you know he's going to try to run from the situation, so he's going to come to the truck eventually. You lean into the driver's door, crossing your arms over your chest; right now you don't even care about the killing heat from the sun shooting straight at you from above or that your shoes are forgotten somewhere in the backyard.

Your mind goes through a million things you want to tell him when he comes but as soon as your ears pick up on the sound of the fence door by the side of the house, you are not sure what you want to tell him, insecurity hurts your chest. What if he was actually going to shove you back before Chucho came in instead of leaning in?

You can hear him curse when he sees you there leaning into his truck.

“Vampirita…” he says when he stops about two big strides from you, his tone pleading.

“No, don't vampirita me” you uncross your arms, letting them fall at your sides “you´re not running away from this, i'm not letting you”

He takes one stride towards you, but still he's not as close as you want him, as you need him “this,” he points at the air between you “can't happen”

A twinge of pain crosses your chest and one of your hands shoots to it like it could physically take it away “why not?” you know your eyes are already glossy, the fear of rejection you had before is now becoming a real thing. You feel like a little kid right now, and you're hating yourself for it.

“Because you…you are you and i'm me, cariño” he makes the attempt to touch you but he stops himself halfway.

You scoff “what an amazing argument Javier” you take a little step towards him, still leaving some distance between you two “I don't know if you´ve notice, but we are both consent adults”

“Trust me, cariño, i ́ve definitely noticed it'' his eyes can't help to run your body “that is the problem”

“Then…” you break the space between you both, your fingers caressing his upper arm “kiss me, please”

Please, you just said please, to him… Javier closes his eyes hard, feeling the cord of control inside of him tense more and more every second you stand there in front of him, your fingers touching him even over his white short sleeved button up.

“Javi…” he opens his eyes after hearing you “please…”

And just like that the cord of self control snaps; one of his hands goes straight to tangle into your hair, the other takes home in your lower back. His lips collide with yours; the sweetest honey he's ever had.

He kisses you like his life depends on it, it starts slow and sweet, but after a moment it becomes hungry. You open your mouth, an invitation to him, and he can't help but groan as his tongue meets yours.

He feels one of your hands fist the front of his button up by his stomach, the other palm flat in his chest, where his buttons are open.

Javier can't think of a moment that felt more in peace and right in his life, even if guilt was eating him from inside. He has kissed many people during his life but right now he felt like this was his first kiss ever.

You felt fire inside of you. You had thought about what kissing him would be like a million times since you were a teenager but no imagination would ever come close to how the real thing feels like. You feel his entire body pressed against yours, his warm hand on your lower back drawing you more into him, if it was possible; his desire for you reassured by the feeling of his bulge against you.

When his lips travel from your own lips to your jaw and then your neck, you can't help but let a soft moan out. As soon as it leaves your mouth you feel him slightly biting your pulse point. You pull at the curls on the nape of the back of his neck and your hips can't help to seek some friction to relieve the ache at your core; his thigh now in between your own two.

Just after the first roll of your hips, you both can hear your mother calling from you just from the other side of the front door of the house.

“Mija, are you in here?” she asks while pushing open the front door. You and Javier pull away from each other faster than you´ve ever moved before.

“Oh there you both are ¿Tu padre me dijo que se iba mijo? (your dad told me that you´re leaving son?)” she asks Javier when she´s in front of you; Javi hasn't turned around towards her yet, too afraid since the front of his jeans are tented still. Your mom looks between you two with a confused face.

“Si, ma. (yes, mom) I was just accompanying him to the truck in case there was any car blocking the way, you know, to alert the owner if it was the case” you hope your lie is believable enough. She looks at you now.

“Está ruborizada, mija. Debería alejarse del sol un rato (You're flustered daughter. You should stay away from the sun for a bit)” she tells you with a worried look on her face, always the protective mother.

“I will ma” you answer thanking all the gods above that she doesn't question the situation.

She looks at Javier, who is still not facing her, and looks at you again. She mouths to you, pointing with her head at Javier, “is he okay?”. You take the opportunity and shake your head no, better for her to worry a little about him and think that you´re both here because he's not okay and you´re comforting him, that she thinks that you may be doing what you were actually doing just moments ago.

She nods and then says “well, i'll see you another day mijo, cuídese (take care)” she then returns to the party through the fence door.

You know he's fighting against his own mind again, so you talk before he gets the opportunity to convince himself of anything.

“Hey, we haven't done anything wrong. So, stop that thought” you say quickly, grabbing his face between your hands, making him look at you straight into your eyes.

“Yeah? Are you sure about that, vampirita? Because I feel like an asshole that took advantage of the daughter of the woman that raised him alongside his own mom” he confesses to you with an angry look on his face, but you know his anger is not towards you but to himself.

“Advantage? Again, I'm a consenting adult and that was a consented kiss for sure. If anyone would ever be forced into a kiss it would be you not me” you let his face go when you start saying the last part.

His hands are the ones now framing your face “Cariño, i wanted that kiss the same as you if not more” he makes you look at him into his eyes, so you can read him just like always “Dios (God) I'm going to hell” he tells more to himself than to you “I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since we saw each other on that parking lot” you can see only truth and longing in his eyes.

You put your hands over his on your cheeks “Well then that makes two of us” you let out a little chuckle “we could try this… keep it between us until we know it´ll work…” you look at him with hope in your eyes.

Javier can't help but let out a big sigh “every bone in me tells me to not let happen any of this, but i don't think i´ve ever been able to tell you no, vampirita” you can't help your face from forming the biggest smile you´ve ever had, you launch into him and wrap your arms around him, then you kiss him again.