#jimmy darling x fem!reader

[ashes-writing]

at last | ahs - freak show ; j.darling

tag list babes || req. rules / fandoms+characters || got a req? || masterlist

CHAPTERS ; 

This is a one shot... for now. Masterlist for AHS can be found here.

AUTHORS NOTES;

This was inspired by the fact that I woke up and chose violence in the form of angst, there not being nearly enough love for Jimmy Darling on this hellsite and oldies on Spotify and maybe just a smidge of The Notebook. Oh and a prompts list which is this one right here

SUMMARY;

-- you grew up with him and somewhere along the way, you fell in love. aka, the one where unrequited love becomes requited.

PAIRING;

Jimmy Darling x Fem!Reader (aside from having female parts, this one is a bit better of a blank slate I am uh.. still transitioning from writing OC works to writing Reader works so yeah.)

WARNINGS;

Angst. That is the warning.

TAGLIST;

There's nobody on my American Horror Story taglist. If you'd like to be, please click the little link up top and add yourself or tell me and I'll do it.

OTHER STUFF;

Reader has been adopted by Elsa Mars and raised as her own from a young age. None of the plot of Freak Show is mentioned here save for Jimmy losing his mother and Maggie being in the first half. This is all I have for this particular thing so if you want to see more or maybe you want me to make a series out of this please lmk. Otherwise, this is a one shot.

“Let me go, Jimmy.”

You give him a pleading look. The suitcases are already packed, and a taxi is on its way. You tried so hard to stick around, the carnival is your only family and it’s the only thing you’ve ever known because Elsa Mars adopted you when you were no older than three.

But you’re 19 now.

All grown up.

You’ve been in love with Jimmy Darling for years and you can’t take another second pining away in secret.

“So you’re just gonna leave, doll? That it? We’re family til we ain’t anymore?” Jimmy looks so hurt. So oblivious. And he sounds so cold when he says it. “Maggie, she was right. You were always too good for this place.”

Maybe hearing her name come out of the mouth of the man you love for the millionth time is what prompts you to do it. And you figure there’s no harm, it’s not like he’ll return the feelings and it’s not like it’ll change anything that you’ve decided.

“I’m so sick of her.” you say it without thinking. Bitterness welling up from deep within as you shake your head when Jimmy goes to speak up, to say something. “Look.” you rub the bridge of your nose and you sigh, taking a deep breath. “I can’t pretend anymore, alright?”

Jimmy steps up, blocking your path when you step over with every intention of grabbing your suitcase and leaving the rest of what you’ve stopped yourself from saying unsaid.

Elsa, your adoptive mother peeks in. “Your taxi is almost here, darling. Have you said your goodbyes to everyone?”

“Yes ma’am.”

“She’s going t’ go off and make a name for herself, Jimmy! Aren’t y’ so excited for her?” the words are said with a hint of mocking as brown eyes linger on Jimmy Darling. He’s just lost his mother and now, he’s losing you. The love of his life. The one girl he’s always wanted, always put on a pedestal and told himself he’d never have because he’s disfigured, he’s a freak. You’re too good for him, he could never give you the life you deserve.

“Yeah. Real excited.” Jimmy’s tone is flat. 

“Make your last goodbye quick, my little darling! It’s almost time to go.” and with this, Elsa Mars is gone, the door swinging shut soft behind her.

“Why are you even here? Doesn’t Maggie need something?” you say it quiet and you say it with what you hope is a voice that doesn’t contain a hint of jealousy or bitterness. “Aren’t you in love with her now?”

This is the exact reason you know you can’t stay here. Pining away in secret ultimately leads to bitterness and anger and that’s not a way you want to live your life. It’s already started, you’ve bent over backwards since her arrival to try to find something wrong with her, something that’ll get her run off. Away from him. Away from your family.

You step around him to grab your suitcase one last time and you can’t help or stop it when the words come tumbling out. “I’ve loved you since the first time I laid eyes on you, Jimmy.” you want to disappear on the spot, but you swallow down the lump in your throat and you keep going, “It hurts, ya know? I ache for you. And you don’t even… It’s like I’m not good enough because I’ve tried so hard.”

You pick up the suitcase and start to make your way out of the little silver camper. As you’re walking towards the road to wait for the taxi, Maggie stops you and you sigh, defeated. “You win. Just… take care of him, please?” you mumble, “Take care of him.”

You hurry towards the road and you’ve made it halfway, but you’re stopped. Whirled around with force that catapults you straight into him. Webbed fingers grip either side of your face clumsily and he’s leaning down, his forehead against your own. “Baby no… c’mon doll, you don’t have t’ do this, please stay. C’mon,” he’s pleading frantically and rough lips attack your softer ones hungrily as he continues to beg, “Don’t leave me too. I love you. I really love you, I mean it.”

You pull away because you’re wary of it at first. But he’s just about to cry and you can’t take it. “Jimmy..” you trail off, raising a hand to wipe at your eyes. “You’re just saying that. You’ll be fine, you’ll see. You’ll..” you wipe your eyes again, “You’ll forget all about me and it won’t take long, either.”

The taxi comes to a slow and screeching halt and you get into it, paying the driver as you light up a cigarette with shaking hands. “Where to, miss?”

“The train station. I’m leaving for New York today.” you manage a weak smile. And the whole time, your heart is breaking into a million pieces on the inside.

Jimmy watches you leave and Maggie wanders up. “You loved her, huh?”

“She’s the reason I wasn’t leavin yet. I.. stayed t’ be close to her. Just told myself I couldn’t have her.”

“Where’s she going?”

“Elsa said somethin’ about New York.”

Maggie isn’t stupid, she knows their brief and fleeting thing is over, right then, on the spot. She sighs and gets him looking at her. “I don’t love you. Not like her.”

And somehow, hearing her say it doesn’t hurt at all. Not nearly as much as you leaving.

“Remember everything you told me? About the future? About a little house in the middle of town? I think you know who you really imagined all of that with. Let her go for now.. But go to her.”

Jimmy thinks it over and he takes a shaky breath.

– ( 2 years later )

You’re exhausted. All you want to do is go up to your little studio apartment and sleep. You’re pushing your way through a crowded street a block away from your place and you think you see him in the crowd but you quickly put the thought out of your head. Elsa’s last letter hinted that the show had broken up and you can only assume that Jimmy went on to build his dream life with his dream girl.

Because when he tried to stop you from leaving that day, you’re almost certain that when he said he loved you he meant like family. Like a friend or a sister, because that’s essentially how you’d been raised with him.

So you’re almost completely certain that seeing him in crowds and catching hints of that cheap cologne and the pomade he used in his hair are just residuals and you tell yourself that one day, this won’t happen anymore. One day, you’ll forget all about him.

You know it’s a lie but it keeps you going.

You’re just about to step into the lobby of your building when you feel hands on your hips and you whirl around, ready to attack.

Jimmy is standing there. Wild flowers in one hand and a weak smile.

It takes a second for you to process. You blink twice and he doesn’t disappear in front of you.

“I’ve loved y’ since the first time I laid eyes on ya, doll. Are you almost done with this shit?” he gestures to the busy sidewalk and the crowded street you live on. You’re frozen, mouth and brain utterly useless because neither one wants to work on their own, let alone together. “Jimmy..”

“Yeah, kitten?” he steps closer, towering over you. Pulling you close by wrapping an arm around your waist. “I hate this place. It’s too noisy, doll. Let me take y’ home?” he mutters, closing the distance between his mouth and yours.

“Jimmy, what about…” you’re not allowed to finish what you were about to ask because he’s pulled you up his body, your legs around his waist. “Darlin..” he coaxes, teeth locking on your bottom lip as he deepens the kiss, “I tried t’ let you go, alright? I..I can’t. I love you. It’s you, okay? It’s always been you.”

“Take me home, Jimmy.” you gasp out as your mouths crash against each other all over again…