#judea (oc)

[cherryswisherz]

WANT vs NEED

♱CONTAINS: toxic juju, oc standin on bidness ♱NIYAHSPEAKS: yall like when i do the toxic shit so lmk if you want a pt 2

♱ ♱ ♱ ♱

"you gon let me in?"

this girl is sitting at my fuckin door- after i dont hear from her for two weeks- asking me to let her in.

for access to me. access she's had for the past two months. access that i gave her no matter how bad she treated me, no matter how much she lied, no matter how she spoke to me. she always got whatever she wanted out of me.

and i would have given in tonight, because honestly, two weeks wasnt even the longest we'd been no contact. had it not been for what went down in these past two weeks, i would have opened the door wider, let her prance her happy ass in my crib like i always did and take me places no one else ever had.

but not tonight. not any night ever again, because a week ago a video circled on the internet. a megan thee stallion audio with a girl who was excited to broadcast the arm lazily slung around her neck. they were at a party. one i'd asked her to go to with me, but she declined.

juju's face wasn't in it. her bun wasn't showing, no usc merch. but her tattoo was. on her hand, "tears dry" in the pretty cursive that i'd helped her pick out was on full display.

and i'm not stupid. i knew she was fucking other people, but it was the principle of the matter.

"no." my tone was dry and hard, like dead soil. but i felt weak.

i wanted her. i wanted to breathe her in like she was the oxygen i needed to live.

but that's the thing. i didn't need her. and i'd gotten so caught up in my own 'i can fix her' fantasy that i forgotten that that's all this was. a want.

it was deep fucking want though.

"no?" she sounded shocked, and she had a right to be. like i said, she always got her way with me.

"no." i blinked. "you gotta go" i tried to remain non-chalant, as i tried to close the door, like it standing on business didn't feel like standing on nails.

but of course, she couldn't just let me shut her out. she pressed her palm to the door, and pressed it open and i tried not to stare at the tattoo, not to track the veins from her hand down her arms.

"wait wait" she squinted at me, like she was trying to solve a puzzle, "you mad at me?"

i should have said no. that i wasn't mad, i was just done with this dance. that would have been the smart thing to do, but i've been known to be a bit dingy when it came to her. to throw my morals out the window and engage in petty disputes that i wouldn't engage in with anyone else.

"yes, i'm mad at you."

"for what?" like she couldn't fathom that i could be pissed off enough to not let her in.

"how was jaden's party, judea?" a cocked my head to the side. immediately i knew she got my message. she threw her head back with a deep sigh and covered her face with her hands, rubbing her eyes in frustration.

"if i hear about this shit one more time..." she groaned before shaking her head and lowering it. "i ain't even wanna go to the fucking party-"

"but you did." i bit out.

she stopped mid sentence and just looked at me. i watched ever muscle in face. i could see her thought process.

she could usually talk me out if my upset. and i think she could tell that this was different because i never cut her off. she knew she wasn't winning this one. not tonight at least.

and for a second, her face softened. for a tiny fraction of time, she'd looked defeated, but then she rolled her shoulders and hardened back up into the 6'2 basketball phenomenon that couldn't be bothered.

"i'm not boutta argue witchu you, jaliyah."

"then don't." i sassed, moving to close the door again, just for her palm to meet my front door again.

"liyah, cmon, bro." she groaned. she was irritated.

good.

"what, judea?" i asked, resting my head on the door sill. i kept that hard tone, and i felt it getting easier to use.

"you for real?" her laughed a little before continuing, "you're really boutta close the door on me?"

it was like she thought this was funny. my feelings were comincal to her. i was a joke, in her mind.

well shit's boutta get real hilarious.

"bye, judea."

♱

the next week, i showed out.

i prided myself on being a homebody, but that week? i was OUTSIDE.

during the day, when i wasn't in class, i was posted at whatever day party was poppin in LA.

it's true when they say the freaks com out at night, because when the sun set, my close friends was flooded with packed, dark rooms of USC students.

but there was a method to my madness.

i could function without her. i could be without her. and i was trying to prove that. to show myself, and anyone who would look that i didn't need her. all i had to do what get over this want- this yearning- for juju fucking watkins.

i was determined. focused.

i didn't talk about how every person i'd danced with didn't have strong hands like she did. didn't acknowledge the way i unintentionally searched for her in every crowd. i blocked out the majority of my own mind because it didn't feel like mine anymore. she occupied nearly part of it.

that saturday, i decided to branch out. to leave the USC campus because she was everywhere and it was too much. i guess i'd gotten sick of seeing the '12' jerseys everywhere i went.

i don't know why i did it- but i fucked with the opps. i went to a UCLA function.

juju and i had an inside joke. UCLA was the suburbs and USC was the hood. and as soon as i stepped into suburbia, i so desperately wanted to return back to the hood.

i didn't belong there. it felt so unnatural, but again.

point to prove.

so i made sure to post my bruins blue on the main story, gold jewelry adorning my locs, my ears cuffed with small gold hoops. bangles clanked in the background of terrible music.

i looked the fuck good, and i wanted everyone to see it. i wanted her to see it.

to see that i did not need her.

but in reality, i was a wallflower. no one there knew i was from USC. and no one in general knew that i was involved with UCLA's biggest hater. but i still felt like i was betraying... someone.

juju. my school. myself.

take your pick, but i knew i was wrong to be there. i felt like i was on guard, watching and waiting for someone to expose me.

then finally, it happened.

she called first, and i didn't make it outside in time to answer. for a second, i was glad that i missed her call and then i began internally kicking my own ass for foing outside to pick up in the first place.

that didn't last long though, because my phone dinged with a text.

wtf r u doing jaliyah?

my first instinct was to come clean. it was natural, the way i wanted to admit that i felt to out of place and i shouldn't have went there.

but then i remembered what i was doing this for.

im at a party why wsp

i smiled because i knew what the fuck i was doing. yes, i felt like an alien, but she didn't need to know that.

#nonchalantfinalboss

dpmo come home rn.

and just like that, it was easier to not give a fuck, because juju never failed to remind me that she had less to give than anyone i'd ever met.

she was still telling me what to do. expecting me to run back to her like i was that pitiful. and maybe i was in the past, but no more.

no <3

and that was the end of it. she didn't text again. she didn't call. it was that simple.

i stayed at the party until i couldn't take the music anymore, and by the time my lyft dropped me back at my apartment, i was ready to melt into my mattress.

on the elevator ride to my floor, i thought about why she'd given up so easily. she loathes UCLA, and she took my 'no' just like that? like it didn't really matter to her? like i didn't really matter to her?

i got my answer the second the elevator door separated. juju sat, legs crossed, hands folded between her knees, head resting on my front door.

she looked like she was meditating, kinda.

but when the elevator dinged, she popped her head up and i knew that she had no peace to share.

her eyes set on me, and that was when i knew i'd fucked up.

"you have fun?" she inquired, not moving to get up. she just craned her neck up as i stepped to her.

i knew she was pissed. she was devoid of any expression. she didn't even look mad, and that's how i knew she was mad.

but i wasn't about to let her win. she couldn't have this. she couldn't have me any-fucking- more.

"tons." i smiled, then nudged her knee with my foot. "move."

"no." she cut her eyes at me, intentionally throwing my words back at me.

she was so fucking petty, it irked the fuck out of me.

"juju, i'm not playin witchu." i kicked her a little harder, "move."

"jaliyah, i'm not playin witchu." she mocked me, "no." she smiled sweetly, like she wasn't acting an ass.

it was like magma boiled within me, giving me the strength to cock my foot back, and swing that bitch like i played professional soccer.

"get. the fuck." i kicked her with everything i had, knowing that at 5'4 it wasn't alot. this wasn't about hurting her. once again, it was the principle. "away. from. my do-"

i didn't feel it when her hand wrapped around my ankle, but i felt it when my knees touched the floor. i felt it when my skirt rode up my waist. i felt it when the pads of her fingers danced under my top.

i was silent. my tantrum was over. there was no kicking, no arguing, no nothing. just me on top of her.

she smelled so good, she looked so good, and she felt even better under me. for a moment, i let myself get lost in her eyes. i let myself find comfort in the way she was holding me. i let nostalgia take me back to when we'd first started this. when were friends with benefits and not... whatever we are now.

looking at her, i saw who we used to be before i'd convinced myself that i would be the one she'd act right for. i'd always listened to her ho tales and laugh, feeling sympathetic to the poor women she'd hoodwinked, and i told myself that i wouldn't be one of those stories. we were friends first. i was different.

not.

the present sunk in when i saw the way her jaw was so tight i could see it poking out of her cheek a little, and i found my breath.

she used to never be mad at me. she always told me it was impossible to hurt my feelings, because she would do anything i wanted. it didn't used to be like this.

i told myself that as i pushed on her chest to get up, untangling myself from her and huffing a little when i found my footing.

"just leave, ju." i whispered, but i knew she heard me because she rolled her eyes.

she threw her arms behind her head before bringing them back in front of her, like she was presenting something. "but why, though." she groaned, "what is the problem, liyah? what the fuck is the point of all this?"

the point.

"the point is ion wanna do this shit no more." i heard my own voice raising, and i didn't car that it was almost 2 in the morning.

it was saturday in LA. let's be for real... i could still hear stunna girl bumping down the street...

"it's not fuckin worth it." i finished, deciding that i didn't need her to move.

i would climb over this bitch if i had to.

i moved to unlock my door, leaning over her, but she taps my hips, pushing me back to where i was across from her.

"i'm not worth it?" she's on her feet in a second, stalking towards me until my back is to the closed elevator doors. "for real?"

i was intimidated, not scared. intimidated not by her height, but the look in her eyes. she was right there, staring down at me like i'd cursed her firstborn child. like i'd ruined her life or something.

i didn't understand how she'd managed to flip my words. how the tables had turned and somehow her feelings were the ones hurt. but that's the way it happened. she'd flipped the script, as she'd always done.

but it she wanted to play victim, that was fine.

i shoved her, "for real." and i knew when she stepped back it was her own doing, but she did it nonetheless.

i had a clear path to my door, and i took my opportunity. i found my key, and unlocked the door as fast as i could, but not fast enough because when i stepped in to my home, so did juju.

"no-" i gripped her shoulders in an attempt to manually turn her around, "get the fuck out."

it was no use, because she pushed past me and plopped on my couch like she paid bills. she man spread, folding her hands in her lap like earlier, "nah, we finna talk."

"there's nothing to talk about."

"what the hell is up witchu, bro?"

"YOU." i threw my keys. they didn't touch her, much to my dismay. "you are what's up with me. you got me fucke-" i dropped the hand i had pointing at her.

she didn't need to hear my reasoning. the fact of the matter was i was done, and she had to accept that.

"i'm not doing this." i sighed, shutting my eyes. "i said that already, and i'm not saying it again." when i opened my eyes, she still had that same dumbstruck face on, like she wasn't comprehending. "leave, judea."

"no."

"the fuck do you want from me?" i sighed.

this shit was exhausting. i wasn't even tired from the party. it was her. in what- 10 minutes?- she'd drained me of everything i had.

"i want you to talk to me." she said it like a conversation was all it took to fix this. she didn't realize that i was beyond fixing anything.

but the irony wasn't lost on me. the fact that she was begging for me to 'talk to her' like this whole thing didn't start with her not talking to me.

"i wanted you to talk to me for two weeks."

i walked past my kitchen, slowly creeping towards her with my middle and index finger up, in case she needed a visual representation. the muscles in my hand felt tight because she stressed me the fuck out, but she wanted to talk right?

she was finna hear me.

"two fucking weeks, wondering why the fuck i was on delivered and then you pop up, slung on some bitch like- like what?" my shoulders were heavy when i shrugged them, feeling the joints flex.

"like i didn't ask you to go? like you just said 'fuck jaliyah, who's constantly pouring into me. imma just ignore her, the one fucking time she wants to go out, and then go anyway, and imma rub it in her fucking face." i clapped between my words at the end because she truly had me fucked up.

i didn't wanna have this conversation because i knew that she pulled a side of me out that i didn't like, but here we are.

"so this is because i ain't take you to a damn party?" she squints like she can't grasp the concept, and she couldn't. it really just flew over that goddamn bun.

"oh my fuckin goood," my throat was scratchy when i let out a genuine shout. "no. it's not about the dumbass party, it's the principle."

she was still looking at me like she was fuckin slow, so i took a breath because i was running out of patience. when i opened my eyes again, i squatted down so i was setting on the edge of my coffee table.

"how long have we known each other, ju?" i ask, bracing my hands on my knees to ground myself.

"like three years," she shrugged, "what's tha-" i cut her off because i didn't wanna hear her stupid ass question. i already knew what it was.

what's that gotta do with it?

"three years. we been friends for three years, fuckin for what? four months?" i didn't give her time to think about it because i knew how long we'd been sleeping together.

i remember that first time, like it was my first time. we'd been eating and watching 'Love and Other Drugs." she made a joke about how the characters didn't do no strings correctly. one thing led to another and bam! i found myself doing shit i'd never done.

i think that's what really irritated me about the whole thing. she knew that i didn't just fuck for fun. she knew that i protected that side of myself. i'd expected her to cherish it, and she destroyed it instead.

"four months ago, you would have taken me to that party. you wouldn't have ignored me, because four months ago, you gave a fuck."

"whatchu talkin bout?" she spits out. she wags her finger in a circle, gesturinng to my apartment. "you think i would be here if i ain't care about you?"

"you care because i won't fuck you." i corrected.

it was the truth. she didn't care this whole time. she saw me going out all day and night, knowing i wasn't that type of person. yet, she didn't say fucking word until i was doing something she didn't like.

well, all she did was shit i didn't like. all she did was cross my boundaries, and break my rules, and i was sick of letting the shit roll off my back.

"it took me going to a fuckass UCLA for you to show up." i exclaimed, emphasizing on the ridiculousness of it all. "you get how fucked that is?"

"that's not the point-"

the point is i'm here.

heard that one before, too.

"but it is though." i nodded fast, leaving my chin in the air. "it is that fucking deep."

the situation may be small, but the principle be big as fuck, and that's what she wasn't understanding.

"i let you hit and all of a sudden you treat me like i'm somebody you laugh at inna group chat."

the group chat i started. the one where i let her mingle with my other friends because she'd complained about not having a life outside of basketball her freshman year.

we'd all talked shit about her conquests. calling them groupies. saying they should have known better. i'd encourage her, never imagining that i'd be on the other end of her whore-like actions.

"liyah, b-"

"ain't no 'liyah' NOTHING." i stood up, because i knew this wasn't going anywhere.

i knew it wasn't before it'd started, but i let her take me there and now i had to reel myself back in.

"you got it ju." i put my hand up in defeat.

because she had defeated me. she won because even after this whole thing, i still wanted her. i still wanted to keep trying to fix her, no matter how much she chipped away at me.

"you cracked. linked 'ms. unlinkable' - whatever the fuck you was trynna do that night - you did it." i clapped for dramatic effect. i wanted her to feel like a winner, even though she'd just lost.

she lost a friend. she lost good coochie. she lost a supporter. she lost it all.

"jaliyah, cmon." she kept saying that. trying to make me feel like i was being unreasonable, or i was crazy and saying my name would make me open my eyes to that that fact.

"get out my house, judea."

and finally- fucking finally - she listened. hung her head and drug her feet out the door.

when she was gone, i exhaled, like i'd been holding my breath that whole time. i slugged to my kitchen island and dropped my head against the cold marble, and i just breathed for a second.

what the fuck do i do now?

was the first thought i had, and the second was:

i don't even know.

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[24hrssofnea]

𝙸𝚃 𝙵𝙴𝙴𝙻𝚂 𝚂𝙾 𝙻𝙴𝙶𝙰𝙻 pairs :: judea x fem!oc ( brylie ) in which :: she hates ya boyfriend ,, which leads you to break up with him .

Juju Watkins x Reader ( BRYLIE ) — ���.𐙚 ̊ — Judea POV 🧸 — (angst • jealousy • pining • tension • fluff at the end • whole lotta attitude from Juju because she likes you for real)

JUDEA POV 🧸

I don’t like him. I don’t care how many times Brylie tells me he’s “nice” or how “he treats her good.” I don’t care.

He’s a weirdo.

He walks around campus like he invented air. And he talks to Brylie like she’s lucky to have him. Like she ain’t her. Like she isn’t the most fire, most cold, most glowing thing I’ve ever seen.

“You coming with me or not?” she asks, standing in the mirror with her lip gloss in hand, looking back at me with that raised brow. She already knows what I’m about to say.

“No,” I mutter, laying back on her dorm bed like it’s mine. “He’s gonna be there.”

Brylie groans. Cute when she’s mad. Real cute. “You always do this, Ju.”

“And I’m gonna keep doing it,” I mumble, arms crossed.

This has been going on for a while now. Brylie got with him mid fall semester — some tall lightskin dude with waves and a fake chain he doesn’t take off, even in the weight room. I don’t even remember his name. Don’t want to.

And ever since she’s been with him… I don’t even know. We don’t spend time like we used to. I don’t get the late night calls. The random “come outside” texts so we can go get boba or walk around downtown L.A. in hoodies and bonnets.

Nah. Now I get the “I’ll text you later” and “he wants it to just be us tonight.”

Us. The way my stomach twists when she says that word.

I’ve got practice. And normally, she’s there. Front row. Headphones around her neck. Sometimes wearing my hoodie, even though she swears it doesn’t mean anything.

But not today.

She’s with him. Some dinner date or party — who knows. I just know that seat in the front row is empty, and it feels real loud in this gym all of a sudden.

Later that night

I text her.

juju🧸: You up?

…No reply.

juju🧸: You good? juju🧸: Say less if he’s around. Just blink twice.

Delivered. No “read.” No triple dots. Just silence.

I lock my phone and toss it across the bed. But like two seconds later, it vibrates.

BRYLIE 🫧: I’m good, Ju. Just tired. Talk tomorrow?

…

Nah.

Nah, I’m not doing this tonight.

Next day Locker room

“Yo, Ju,” Rayah calls. “You good?”

“No.” I don’t even sugarcoat it.

“You and Brylie fighting again?”

“We don’t fight,” I say, pulling my hoodie over my head. “You can’t fight someone who doesn’t even know you’re mad.”

Rayah just gives me this look. Like she wants to say something but doesn’t.

I roll my eyes and leave.

Later that week Friday night

Brylie walks into my dorm. Unannounced. Like she always does when her man pisses her off.

Her lashes are a little clumped, lip gloss all wiped off, and the same gray hoodie I’ve been looking for all week is sitting on her.

“What?” I say, not even looking up from the phone. Petty? Yeah. But deserved? Also yeah.

“You mad at me?”

“You know I’m mad at you.”

“Why, Ju?” she sighs. “Because I have a boyfriend?”

“Nah,” I scoff. “I’m mad because he doesn’t deserve you, and you’re too blind to see that.”

She stands there, quiet. I can feel her eyes on me. And then, soft—

“You jealous?”

…

I don’t answer.

Because yeah. Yeah, I am.

But not in the childish “I want what you have” way. In the I’ve been here. I’ve been the one showing up. Supporting you. Listening to your rants. Holding you when you cried on the bathroom floor.

Where was he?

“You really don’t see it, do you?” I say, standing now. “I love you. I’ve been in love with you.”

She freezes.

“Juju…”

“Nah. Don’t say my name like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like you don’t feel the same,” I whisper. “You do. You’re just scared.”

She bites her lip.

“So what do you want me to do?” Her voice cracks now.

“Choose me.”

A long pause.

And then she moves toward me, slow. Like she’s scared her feet are gonna betray her heart if she walks too fast.

Then she wraps her arms around my waist. Tight.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers. “I thought I had to like him. I thought I was supposed to.”

I swallow, my hand sliding up the back of her head.

“Don’t settle, Bry.”

“I’m not.” She pulls back just enough to look me in the eyes. “I’m choosing you.”

My whole chest thumps like a drumline. And I kiss her forehead, slow.

“’Bout time.”

Next game? She’s sitting front row. In my hoodie. Grinning like she’s been mine forever.

And I hoop like the world is watching.

Because Brylie’s mine now.

And ain’t nobody taking her from me.

Not again.

🧸 🧸 🧸

NEA SPEAKS ⋆.𐙚 ̊ : MY FIRST JUJU FIC . FOLLOW FOR MORE !!

[bruhstation]

hello tumbled er

greetings and salutation. it is I, senja heterocaine, speaking to you through your favorite home screens. now you might be wondering: where on earth has senja heterocaine disappeared to these past 5 months? well the answer is as simple as it gets

I focused on my studies.

well yes that is the main reason. but that's like the nerd "obvious" answer. there’s other reasons too. some of which includes me getting into new interests, revisiting my old, hibernating interests, getting involved in university organizations and events, getting more involved in big family stuff since I'm the oldest and the only of-age grandchild of grandma from mom's side.... lots of stuff

so I just finished the third semester of premed school right. honestly speaking, with how I was losing motivation on drawing, the art block post-art fight, and lack of time, I decided to well, take a break. and it’s pretty convenient too since it was early on in the third semester. during the entirety of it I was feeling pretty proud of myself like "oh I've been studying a lot. I've taken a break from drawing and blog stuff. surely things will get better" and it did! not immensely but it's significant enough that for once I don't feel an indescribable sense of terror after the semester ends. the focus of this semester was about reproduction systems and growth and development which is pretty fun? we get to use models and medical phantoms hands-on and poke them with needles and other rube goldberg contraptions. I did miss breeding bacterias in petri dishes and seeing my friends burn the microbiology lab’s ceiling like last semester though. my grades are also improving… slowly but surely

(aftermath not pictured: me lounging on the couch scrolling through quora to see if there are people currently in college wanting to drop out)

maybe I was aiming too high. at least my grades are better than the previous two semesters and my social life is much better than it was back in high school. speaking of exams -- I went through my first osce exam around a week ago (practical exam to see if you can actually perform the skills labs lessons from the entire semester like you're a real physician). it was the most terrifying day of the month. my dentist said I have a big tongue and that’s why I can’t speak properly if I’m being too fast. ntm I WAS NERVOUS!!! MY FIRST OSCE!!! with how I memorized everything I needed, I was pretty confident that I'd pass, though. I didn't and retook the exam the next day. the prelude was the worst crash out ever

ah ptooey. I'll just take it like a champ. my tutor who's 3 years older than me and currently in the anesthetic rotation of co-ass told me that things will get easier but that's very subjective. he's a medical olympiad student after all. my parents are pretty happy though with how my academic life is becoming better so that's that

LETS MOVE ON TO SOMETHING LIGHTER. section B: what I've been getting into ever since bruhstation was put on cryostasis

you know Transformers One (2024)? the transformers movie directed by josh cooley? based on the Transformers(tm) franchise by Takara Tomy and Hasbro? most tragic break up movie of the decade? I watched it twice, squealed once, and left me broken and inconsolable for weeks on end. it made me revisit my dormant transformers interest after 5 years. I've reread the idw comics (mtmte, LL, taao, main transformers comic), and is currently checking out more (reading the wreckers saga right now). god it made me miss rodimus and friends' zany space opera adventures. I've always envisioned casa tidmouth to have the same tone as mtmte... the oftentimes dark humor, fridge horror stuff, weird magic/science, the roller coaster of emotions, confronting the past... its crazy good.

stories where misfits and knuckleheads band together in a confined space while having crazy doctor who-like adventures am I right. like I want casa tidmouth to be like that. remind me to thank 14 year old me for this trip down memory lane. and as usual, I tend to make self-indulgent crossovers of any interest I'm thinking about at the moment with casa tidmouth

a terrifying sneak peak on what's to come.

I've been working on my oc projects too. you may have seen some of them on artfight (graciela, saudade, altair, etc) but I've been focusing the most on graciela and saudade's universe, children's heterotopia. it has the largest amount of characters in any story I've created (not counting casa tidmouth), the most effort put into planning the stories and weaving in its themes about capitalism, patriarchy, period-typical bigotry, etc. there's human experimentation and they're given powers that range from punching super hard to time and space displacement. I also inserted whatever I wanted into the story. sure, yes, there's a lesbians-only organization of which its members are named off the knights of the round table, theres a mafia that focuses more on the family drama and attempted parricide from all angles, and tragic assassin maids of which their names are wuthering heights references. also if you've been following my main tumblr hajimedics for a while, you might've seen my three fairly oddparents ocs. well I've given them the tezuka star system treatment and inserted them into children's heterotopia as well.

I've also gotten into UTAU production! I've made a number of UTAU covers but haven't uploaded them to youtube. only shared them around with my friends on priv twitter. a good friend of mine assisted in the creation of my own UTAU voicebank! their name is TORKA (like "torque"), their voice bank has a slight accent when singing in japanese (because I'm their voice lol) and CV-only, their in-universe lore is that they're an intergalactic train conductor picking up wayfarers and outcasts trying to find a place in the vast universe, and I love them dearly

moving on! this is a thomas the engine and company blog THIS IS A LIFE UPDATE POST

I'd rather not discuss about how I'm doing mentally in deep detail BUT what I'll say is that I can't confidently say "I'm doing better" or "I'm doing worse" because it always depends on the days. things are okay-ish nowadays. some days are scary. some days are boring. I still experience delusions, (ironically) worried about my anhedonia, and believe that certain bouts of confidence will trigger a jinx, but I think I've been controlling myself well? at least? I keep internalizing the belief that I'm an adult. 20 years old. I have to act accordingly and my life in real life is ten times more important than the internet. things are going to change more and more once I graduate premed and began the co-ass program. I have to think 10 steps into the future. building successful connections before you turn 30. sigma grindset and all that. sorry that was my father using my body as a spirit medium

AND ALSO. ALSO. BACK TO THE BLOG DO YOU GUYS REMEMBER THAT ONE TIME I PROMISED TO MAKE A COMIC BASED ON THE RESULTS OF THE 1000 FOLLOWERS POLL AND NEVER DID UNTIL NOW. I'm terribly sorry. I promise I will get into it I SWEAR procrastination is kicking my ass. I have to plan the dialogue and script and stuff AND DRAW BUT

BUT HERE’S THE FUNNY THING

THE BLOG REACHED 2000+ FOLLOWERS A FEW MONTHS AGO

NOW WHAT DO I DO TO CELEBRATE?

I don’t know honestly. I haven’t done the 1000+ followers celebratory comic, and NOW I HAVE 2000+ FOLLOWERS. THERES 2000+ OF YOU NOW!!!!! THAT’S CRAZY (IN A GOOD WAY)!!!! I thank you all for sticking with bruhstation through thick and thin for around 2 and a half years. I’m glad for all your support, fanarts, asks, and such truly. like wow. 2k. in such a short time too! thanks guys. admittedly, I feel kind of guilty to leave everyone hanging for months with nothing to give, especially with such a high follower number. and realistically? I don’t think I’ll be able to draw as much as I used to. like I’ve said earlier, I’ve been busy with my personal life and oc projects. it’s not like I’m abandoning this blog any time soon? I’m just speaking from a logical perspective, given my status as a student and (possibly, hopefully) future doctor too. I don't want to burn myself out posting like thrice a week, answering asks daily, I want to take things slow. at my own pace. maybe I'll focus on designing side characters as well and thinking about their roles in the story! but that's for another day. I’m just glad everyone’s still sticking around and enjoying my silly stuff

I do want to draw more for this blog! I want to put thomas and co. in more situations. make them dance for all our entertainments. but when you’re an adult, you realize that you have your own priorities. you can’t always do the things you wanna do. you can’t just drop something you don’t like out of the blue. sometimes you have to sigh, scratch the back of your neck, and brave it while saying “I sure am getting old”

oh and also I'm a butch lesbian now. still he/they (heavy preference on he/him), still preferring masculine terms like "mr", "sir", "guy", still as crazy as ever. still aroace too and not interested in dating, something that's been a constant in my identity ever since I'm in early high school. little have changed I can assure you this. I am still senja. senja heterocaine from the net.

and thus concludes senja’s life update post! what will the next post after this be about? something gordon-centric again? serious colored art? old men yaoi? silent hill UK localization? place your bets. everyone loves a good laugh

[fuddsgf]

when it rains - juju watkins

summary 𞠬: when long-distance and growing silence wedge space between you and juju, what was once a passionate connection starts to fray under the weight of unspoken hurt. late-night calls turn to missed voicemails, and love becomes an echo you can no longer chase.

warnings:emotional neglect, angst, heartbreak, breakups, hints of emotional burnout/loneliness, unrequited feelings emotional themes throughout. lmk if i missed anything

tags: @patscorner @cherryswisherz @kmoneymartini @authentic-girl03 @bueckersverse @vamptizm

“i don’t know where you go, hard for you to share your home”

you sighed as you leaned your head back against the wall, phone pressed tight to your ear. ringing. then voicemail. again.

you hung up locking your screen, your exhausted reflection staring back at you. eyes half-lidded, hoodie too big, heart aching. you had a feeling that you knew where she was—some party in L.A., somewhere that screamed bright lights and blurred loyalty.

it wasn’t the first time juju disappeared on you like this. left you with more questions than comfort. promises drowned in the pulse of whatever club she let herself get lost in.

-

the texts became infrequent, rushed and distracted calls. you’d hear music in the background, sometimes laughter. she’d say something like, “sorry babe, i’m out with the team. you know how it is.”

but she never asked how you were. never listened when you tried talking about your day or how geno kicked paige out of practice because of her ankle.

the first few times, you brushed it off. juju was busy—so were you. the season was heating up, and uconn didn’t exactly hand out breathers. but eventually, your excuses for her felt paper-thin.

“Cause you don’t want it all, is what we have disposable?”

you’d stay up after practices, phone in hand, waiting for her to call like she promised. sometimes she did. most of the times, she didn’t.

the silence was starting to weigh down on you like any game loss.

one random night after a double practice that left your knees shaking and your chest burning, you sat in the locker room long after everyone had left.

aubrey sat down next to you on the bench, “rough day?” she asked grabbing her water bottle and handing it to you. eyes gentle as she scanned your red eyes.

you tried nodding but your chin wobbled instead. “i just… i have this feeling l-like im being forgotten in real-time you know?” you expressed looking at her tears starting to fall down your cheeks.

she didn’t push you to continue, didn’t ask who or what. she sat with you until the ache in your chest had softened.

the locker room was silent except for the low hum of the lights in the vending machine. rain tapped against the window like it knew what you were feeling. you watched the raindrops trial down the window blurring the outside lights like tears you were too tired to shed.

your phone buzzed.

juju💕: sorry babe. long night i’ll call you tomorrow, pinky promise.

you stared at it, thumb hovering over the notification. but you didn’t reply.

because tomorrow never really comes anymore. you placed the phone face-down on the bench, as if not seeing the words would conceal you from its existence. now it just felt like a delay. a stall. like juju was always out of reach—calling from noisy hallways, sending half-hearted messages between practices, classes and parties.

you used to be her world. now you’re just orbiting it. you grabbed your zip up hoodie, “i didn’t mean to cry,” you mumbled more to the empty room than to aubrey.

“you don’t have to mean it to need it,” she said barely above a whisper. it wasn’t deep or profound. but it settled in your bones like truth.

“let’s head back to the dorms before we get locked in here,” she said getting up and grabbing her duffel, you soon followed her lead grabbing your stuff.

“thank you for being here aubs you’re a great friend,” you said hugging her outside the gym heading towards your car before she could even get a word out.

-

“feels like im on my own, please don’t try to ignore that”

it was past midnight when your phone rang.

juju 💕 calling…

you stared at your screen for a beat debating if you should answer, but you did. “hey,” you said voice quieter than you intended.

static. laughter in the background. music. then her voice—a little slurred, all sugar and sunshine like if she wasn’t calling 4 days late.

“baaabe,” juju cooed “i miss you, im so sorry i’ve been like M.I.A. you know how crazy it gets after a win. team went out, we hit this rooftop bar— there was a DJ, you would’ve loved it!”

your silence must’ve stretched for a bit too long.

“baby?” she said again. you closed your eyes taking a deep breath “yea. i’m here.”

“good, i was worried you were mad.” she giggled. “don’t be mad, okay? i swear i’ll call you for real tomorrow morning. pinky promise.”

tomorrow. that damn word again.

you swallowed hard. “juju…when was the last time you asked how i was doing?”

she paused. the music dipped lower, or maybe she had stepped away from it. “what?”

“i mean it,” you said voice steadier now, sharper at the edges. “you talk about your games, your team, your wins… but you don’t ask about me anymore! you don’t call when you say you wil. you don’t even notice when i’m not okay”

“don’t do this,” she sighed. “you know how my schedule is–”

“no, juju. you don’t know mine. you haven’t asked. not once.” there was a pause. a longer one. you imagined her frowning, that defensive tilt in her voice building even before she spoke.

“look, i’m trying, okay? i’m just- i’ve got a lot going on.”

“yea,” you said, quietly “so do i.” you could hear the next words forming in her throat, some half assed apology or excuse dressed up for love. but you don’t wait for them.

“i have to go,” you quickly said. “i’ve got an early practice.” 

“oh. okay. love you” she said softly.

but you didn’t say it back. you ended the call. sat there in the quiet with the buzzing silence of everything that was left unsaid.

-

“help me remember that i want more, something beautiful”

you sent it without thinking. a voice message. no script. just the raw truth.

“hey. i don’t think this is working out anymore. i kept waiting for it to feel like it used to– like i was still important to you. but it’s just not there anymore. and i can’t keep shrinking myself to fit into the margins of your life. i deserve someone who shows up. so, this is me letting go.”

delivered.

read.

no reply.

-

the crowd was electric. the cameras are everywhere. this is the stage. the rivalry. but for juju, it’s personal now.

juju spots you in warmups. headphones in. eyes sharp. you don’t even glance her way.

you’re walking off the court when aubrey jogs up beside you, bumping her shoulder into yours playfully, handing you a towel.

you laugh, not forced. not hollow. it’s the kind of laugh that used to belong to her. but it hasn’t in a long time.

juju watches from across the floor. she watches the way you light up when aubrey leans in to say something only you can hear. the way your eyes linger on her a little too long. the way you don’t flinch when aubrey’s hand brushes against your lower back, steadying you as the crowd roars. and suddenly it hits her.

she lost you.

not because of one mistake, but a hundred small ones. missed calls. half-hearted “tomorrows.” apologies that never came.

and aubrey? she was always there. just out of focus, until now.

maybe uconn won. maybe they didn’t. but either way, the game wasn’t what stuck with juju.

it was the image of you in the tunnel. leaning against a wall, smiling as aubrey talks with her hands, animated and flushed from the win. you’re listening, really listening, with a soft look in your eyes.

the one juju used to know.

and when aubrey brushes your knuckles with hers, and you don’t pull away juju finally understands.

juju stood there, jersey soaked, hands clenched at her sides, watching the two of you disappear down the hallway.

she didn’t call your name.

she knew it wouldn’t change anything.

because this time, tomorrow came.

but it didn’t have her in it.

[judeaszn]

𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐆𝐘 ⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆(𝐒)^ྀི : 𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐄 𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐔𝐀𝐆𝐄 , 𝐕𝐀𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐀 𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 , 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐒𝐄 𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 , 𝐌𝐘 𝐀𝐌𝐀𝐙𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆

𝐒𝐔𝐁 𝐉𝐔𝐃𝐄𝐀 𝐖𝐀𝐓𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐒 𝐗 𝐃𝐎𝐌 𝐍𝐎 𝐋𝐀𝐁𝐄𝐋

𝜗𝜚⋆₊˚

𝐀𝐒 𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐑𝐘 𝐖𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐒 𝐁𝐘 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐅𝐓𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐒 𝐓𝐎𝐎𝐊 over , there voices echoing out nosies in kamiyah's apartment she ran her toned hands down judea's thighs as watkins the low bun slipped out a whimper , as kamiyah layed on top of her , the trained warm legs both girls offered grazing up against eachother - each touch delicate and gentle.

they had just gotten back from the movies and the crave was real even tho they did just watch black panther and eye fuck eachother the whole time , the high puff headed girl miyah bit her lip as she lifted up judea's black deaftones t shirt placing light kisses on her sculpted stomach , the sounds of her lips connecting to judea cocoa butter smelling skin giving an ambience , as the kiss realeased kamiyah began to tug off her white tee as she mumbled her face burried into her neck , "..off .." she instructed to judea tugging at her black tee.

ju nodded quickly , as she removed her shirt revealing her b cup sized breasts hugging her white sports bra , kamiyah bit her lip - her lashes fluttering as her head lowered and her round lips connected to the low bun headed girls thin - the high puff headed no label took ju's neck as she swindled her tongue into judeas warm , kettle corn popcorn tasting mouth - exploring ever inch of each other , barley catching intake on breathe.

releasing from the kiss - jones licked her lips of judea sweet slobber , ".. u okay , baby..?" she questioned with a light tone as she began tugging at judea's black cargo shorts.

ju nodded , "..always.." watkins reassured , her hooded eyes widened as she began gently taking the honey blonde head no label's face as kamiyah slid to the side of judea , her cold toned hands pulling down judea's shorts and ju used her feet to fully take off her cargos.

after getting a look for confirmation , kamiyah's index and middle began to rub onto judea's wet clit , the tightness of the boxers cramping in , ju gasped her mouth slightly opening as her toned hands held the back of kamiyah's neck causing her to bite her lips.

"..oh my.." watkins trembled, as the sounds of her natural lubricant slushing around - as they drowned jones's fingers , ".. who makes you this wet , baby..?" the high puff headed girl mumbled as she lowered down placing light kisses onto judea's neck her fingers gliding slowly , a smirk abrupting from her words.

"..fuck.. m.. " ju bit her lip her legs beginning to clutch up - and her face began to go flush , as the air turned thick in the atmosphere and there bodies melted into the high puff headed girl's memory foam , king bed - the no label's pace began to fasten causing the nubian nosed girl to squeal - as she began to grip onto the edge of the bed.

".. you sound so pretty.." the round lipped girl complimented, feeling warm hearing her babies nosies and pleasures that only she could make her seek.

".. fuck , i love when you talk to me like that.." watkins began to mumur , as her eyes rolled back and her vagina began to throb , miyah had light giggles as she slowly began to insert her fingers inside judea's warm soaked vaginal opening and her light brown eyes fluttered as she admired judea's side view , the way her skin was glistening over the rainy night city of la.

and the lights were dimmed to a nice orange- ju hooded eyes rolled back as she bit the bottom of her lip , kamiyah explored judea's warm tight wet walls. judea breathes began to heft.

"..shit kamiyah.." ju whined her white manicured toes began to suddenly curl as they were hidden inside her white nike socks , kamiyah's fingers pace began to fasten as she pounded into judea - her wet lubricants slapping against the cocoa butter infused skin.

"..oh fuck..!" ju squealed , her stomach going into a knot - as she began to gently ride kamiyah's soaked fingers , the high puff headed fem leaned down as she began to nibble onto ju's neck.

"..let me hear you mama.." kamiyah demanded , as she began to go into a circular motion stretching out judea walls , judea tightened her grip onto the bed sheets as her eyes rolled back. , "..holy .. fuck .. oh .. my .. !" ju moaned , her screams and moans muffled over the beats of the rock music - as judea's mind began to get sent into a fuzzy mess - the electric shock making the basketball players body shake , ".. im gonna .. im gonna c.. cum..!" ju squirmed , as her body began to shake and her vagina throbbed and she released all of her warm juices through the low bun headed girls boxers and it began to drown miyah's fingers as she gently slipped her hands out , feeding herself judea's warm liquids.

".. mm .. baby.." miyah's raspily voice softened , ju's eyes slowly began widening as she let out a soft moan of relaxation , her chest rose as her breathe was hefty.

focus by h.e.r filled through the room - the light ambiance softening the mood as there the high puff headed girl was ,

massaging judea's thighs as her face was burried in her soaking clit warm clit , judea's trained legs tightening around the no label's head - her breathe quickening by the minute.

her oily back arched against the cotton sheets , as she held a firm grip onto the high puff , ".. f.. fuck.." watkins trembled- as jones swindled her tounge , her motion circular and fastening by the minute.

ju bit her bottom lip - as she heard her juices get slushed around kamiyah's face , ".. oh .. my .. baby.." ju trembled - as she felt shockwaves through her body - she let out a sudden gasp feeling kamiyah's toned fingers enter her warm walls once again.

ju's legs tightened- ".. oh fuck..kamiyah.." she stammered , feeling her eyes roll back as she felt her whole vagina throb , as the strokes began to fasten - watkins felt her hips begin to buckle and she could feel herself tapping out.

"..i .. i need a .. b .. break..!" judea squealed - taking an intake of breathe - lifting up her legs onto kamiyah's back , kamiyah smirked looking up at the flushed face lightskin only fastening her pace using her tounge and entering the warm walls.

"..holy fuck..!" ju exclaimed her head shooting back onto the headboard as her body began to shake - "..baby .. oh fuck ..! .. i .. im gonna ..!" ju exclaimed with a quiver releasing all of her sudden warm juices onto kamiyah's mouth - her hips began to go up and down from the aftermath , she took faint intakes of breathe as she kamiyah slip out her fingers feeding herself once again.

judea's breathe was still hefty and her mouth was slightly open when her and jones round lips connected with judea's thin - ju crossed her legs around kamiyah's sculpted hips.

as both girls gasped for air - miyah held onto ju's waist as ju gripped onto the back of kamiyah's sweaty neck.

as bluey played on the smart tv , kamiyah held onto judea warmly as judea coddled onto her her body on top of kamiyah's melting into her.kamiyah rubbed onto ju's back hearing her light snores gave the pretty no label and ambience.

𝐄𝐌 𝐌𝐀 | 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟓

[spellboundcities]

Got some new lads up for ArtFight this year! Come check them out over here, and happy fighting!

[ovulatingonna]

"FOLDED"

♡— pairing: juju watkins x black!fem!oc.

♡— warnings: angst, toxic relationship themes, emotional manipulation

♡— synopsis: mariah tells juju to come pick up her clothes after they break up — but juju isn’t ready to let go, and neither is mariah.

♡— a/n: i love kehlani.. that's it.

Mariah’s living room smelled like the soft lavender dryer sheets she’d always used when Juju stayed over, when Juju’s clothes took up half her dresser, when Juju’s shoes stayed lined by the door she never knocked on. Now those same clothes sat in a neat pile on the couch. Folded. Ready. Final.

Mariah stood by the door, arms crossed, her phone face-down on the console table. She’d texted Juju that morning to get her things.

Come pick up your clothes. I have them folded.

Juju knocked. Softly, like she knew she shouldn’t be here but couldn’t stay away either. Mariah let her in without a word.

Meet me at the door while it's still open

Juju stepped in, taking in the folded shirts, the sweatpants she’d stolen back after every road trip, the old hoodie she claimed from Mariah’s closet because it smelled like her. All stacked up like a funeral for what they’d been.

“Damn,” Juju said, voice rough, eyes flicking up to Mariah’s. “You really folded my shit?”

Mariah laughed, but there was no humor in it. “What, you thought I’d toss it out the window? Burn it in the yard? I’m not that girl, Ju.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“No, but you did a lot of other shit.” She gestured to the pile. “Go on. Take it.”

Juju just stood there. She didn’t reach for the clothes. She reached for Mariah’s eyes instead, desperate. “Ma, come on. You really gon' do this?”

Mariah’s jaw clenched. She hated when Juju called her Ma like that, soft and pleading, like it rewrote everything she’d done wrong. She looked away, blinked too fast. “No. The disrespect was too loud, Ju. You don’t give a damn about me. You called that girl more than you ever called me. She wasn’t no damn side bitch. That's your girlfriend, Juju. You love that girl.”

Tears betrayed her before her voice did. They slipped down her cheeks, hot and silent.

Juju stepped closer. The air changed when she did, Mariah felt it all the way down her spine. Juju’s hand hovered like she wanted to wipe the tears but knew she didn’t have the right anymore.

“Mariah,” Juju rasped, her voice cracking like old vinyl. “I know I fucked up. I know I did. But please, baby, give me one more chance. It’s always gonna be you for me. I’m sorry I didn’t realize that sooner.”

Mariah laughed again, but it broke in the middle. “No. Fuck that, Ju. It didn’t take me fucking another woman to know it was always gonna be you for me, Judea.”

Juju flinched at the full name.

Mariah only said that when she was mad or about to break.

“I know,” Juju whispered, stepping closer still. “I know. And I swear to God I hate myself for that shit. I see you with my clothes all folded like you still care, even when you hate me. Don’t tell me you don’t want me still."

I’ll let your body decide if this is good enough for you.

Mariah sucked in a breath. She should’ve pushed her away. Should’ve screamed. Should’ve locked the door and blocked her number. But Juju’s hands were already on her hips, warm and trembling, thumbs brushing under her shirt like they had every right to remember.

“Stop,” Mariah whispered, but her head tipped forward, her forehead resting against Juju’s chest. “You can’t just- you can’t just do this.”

“Look at me,” Juju said. Her fingers tilted Mariah’s chin up, made her eyes meet hers, brown on brown, the same look that used to make Mariah forget how to breathe.

“Tell me you don’t want this. Tell me and I’ll go. For real this time.”

But Mariah didn’t say it. She couldn’t. Her body betrayed her like it always did. She leaned in, kissed Juju like it was both goodbye and please don’t go. Juju kissed her back harder, needier, her hands sliding up Mariah’s back like she was afraid she’d disappear if she let go.

Between gasps, Mariah whispered against her mouth, “You hurt me.”

“I know.”

“You can’t do it again.”

“I won’t.”

“You promise?” she said, though she hated how desperate it sounded, how her fingers curled in Juju’s shirt like a prayer.

Juju kissed her forehead, her cheeks, her jaw. “I promise, baby. It’s you. It’s always been you. I’m so fucking sorry.”

Mariah didn’t answer. She just pulled Juju closer, let the clothes stay folded on the couch, untouched, because she’d unpack them later, put them right back in the drawers where they belonged.

[jellicoree]

my hetalia oc, Judea, and my takes on Ancient Greece and Ancient Egypt <3

+ their relationships

[thehollowgateway]

Illustration to demonstrate the different between canon Noah and TSIS au Noah.

Note: 1.Daron(Hebrew: South). Judaism, the religion of the southern kingdom of Judea. Religion and places are named differently in TSIS, to distinguish from the real world. 2.Dome. The other name of Yarmlke/Kippah. 3.Kingdom of Sudety. Sudety, a mountain and also historical region in Europe, a name of kingdom in TSIS. 4. Svetlavoda (Czech: bright water). The town of a town in Suderty in TSIS. 5.The matzah in half. The tradition of the Passover. Festival names remain the same.

Special thanks to my Jewish friend who gave me feedback on the original design of Noah.

#oc #orginalcharacter #jew #jewish #kippah #matzah

[cherryswisherz]

PRIDE vs SELF

♱CONTAINS: longing, toxic ju, ju saves the day, oc standin on shit, long bc judea is the thinkers twigs was talkin bout ♱NIYAHSPEAKS: this is long as shit sorry for the wait guys. ju's pov dis time! part three with smut? ♱♱♱♱

it had been three months since jaliyah and i had spoken. the night she'd kicked me out of her apartment, she blocked me on everything. my number, socials, everything. not that she needed to.

i knew when i wasn't wanted, and i wasn't the type to sit and beg for a bitch to do anything. and i don't even like calling jaliyah a bitch, because she isn't one and she had every right to do what she did, but my pride would be the death of me.

that night sat on every part of my brain. the way she'd yelled at me. what she'd yelled at me.

"four months ago you would have taken me to that party. you wouldn't have ignored me, because four months ago, you gave a fuck."

she couldn't have been more wrong. liyah and i were friends before all of this, and i'd started fucking her with the intention of being more after it.

i'd had a thing for her since we met freshman year, but she'd had a girlfriend and she was crazy about her, so i played my role.

the 'misunderstood hooper who had lover girl potential but couldn't remove her head from her own ass' role. jaliyah swore that i was crazy for the way i'd moved back then, and i think that's why it took three years for us to do anything.

she was real protective of herself. jaliyah didn't play about jaliyah, and our entire friend group knew it. we'd all cracked jokes when people tried to push up on her, laughing because we knew she was not goin.

i'd admired her dedication to not give parts of herself away, and that night, Love & Other Drugs night- the first night- i'd promised myself to cherish every single one of them.

i was selfish in the way i wanted her. i wanted to take everything she held sacred and keep it for myself and bask in the fact that no one else could have it. that i had her in ways very few ever did.

the first month, i'd lost myself in her. we weren't together or anything. we were just fucking, but it all felt a little too real. always on her body, at her every beck and call, constantly looking for her in rooms she'd never even been in. it all felt too normal.

and i'm not a cornball. i wasn't scared of the way things were going. if anything, i leaned into it. i was perfectly fine with being jaliyah's lap dog.

but then i'd gotten cleared to play again, and i don't know what the fuck happened but i couldn't find it within myself to give a fuck about anything else. jaliyah became the last thing on my mind, and i didn't even care.

it wasn't that she became less important because i'd hit. sex could have never devalued her. it was that everything became less important.

missing classes, missing family functions, missing parties. i was no where but in the gym, grinding it out in preparation for my senior run.

it was gonna be the comeback of the century.

but she'd thought it was a her thing, and i didn't have the energy to explain that she'd never be the problem. if she wanted to make it about her, then she could.

i understood why she thought the way she did, but it wasn't my job to remind her that her spot was secured. three years of friendship should have solidified that.

so i went about my business. training, catching up in class, doing what i did. but she was always there. if she wasn't ignoring my presence in every room we'd shared, she was blinking at me in my mind.

i swore every time the back of my hand itched, it was her reminding me of her. that she'd helped design my tattoo. that that hand was the reason i'd never get to have her again, in any capacity.

it was bullshit, really. agonizingly painful bullshit. but again, my pride would be the death of me.

she probably wanted an apology. she wanted me to grovel on my hands and knees and beg her to open her legs for me again. like her pussy was a prize (it was), that i had to bleed to win.

i'd have done it too, except i had self respect. i couldn't go out like that. not about pussy.

however comma, (niyah here, pls tell me yall get the reference) i would have fed her grapes just to talk to her. to tell her that i was proud of her for aceing every final. to hear her tell me i was gonna be perfectly fine for my first game back.

i'd have chewed off my own arm to lay on opposite ends of her couch and watch south central baddies while killing an entire box of kool-aid jammers and destroying a family box of gushers.

of course i'd missed the sex, but i missed the domesticity of us almost more than i missed having an ACL.

♱

people on the internet claimed that kennedy and i looked alike, which was funny and all but this girl really acted like my little sister. she was hyper, and annoying as hell and especially so on this night.

she'd drug me to a club under the ruse of needing protection.

you always muggin so nobody bothers us

i went. i knew she wouldn't leave me the fuck alone until i said yes, so i fitted up and packed everyone into the benz truck.

the club was loud, the noise resembled monkeys in a zoo. the people were louder than the music, the giant fans on the ceilings were useless because the second we'd stepped in it was like we'd entered brazil. muggy, sweaty brazil.

i was just greatful that everyone seemed to remember their deodorant, because it didn't smell like ass.

we fought our way to our section and took our videos of the bottle girls with the signs and the champagne and we all stood up and sprayed it everywhere when the DJ announced that 'THE LADY TROJANS HAVE ARRIVED'.

moments like that always happened in slow motion. i wasn't thinking about the goofy look on my face when i stood on the couch and placed the bottle between my legs and waved it around like a fucking idiot. the way i looked wasn't on my mind until i saw her.

it was literally the shit of movies.

i'd tilted my head back and screamed and when my chin lowered, i'd seen knotless flying with the turn of her head. she was at the bar, and i guess she'd turned to see what all the commotion was about, and when she did- when she saw who everyone had erupted for- she froze. i don't know if we made eye contact, but i know she saw me.

i'd definitely seen her. caramel skin glistening with gold jewelry, a cuff around her bicep. she wore black and grey, baggy pants, and a tight tube top. that's all i caught before she turned her back to our celebration- to me- and continued hunting down the bartender.

i didn't let myself think about who the hell she'd came with, or what she'd planned to do when she left the club. i just auto-piloted my way through the night, allowing hands to pull me to the dance floor, back to couch, and to the floor again.

i couldn't, for the life of me, figure out how people did this for a job. promoting parties, djaying, serving. any job in the club industry seemed entirely too over-stimulating for me because an hour in, i needed a break.

i slipped away easily, the way i always did, and shrugged past a gulf of drunk people, until i finally got to the bathroom. i stayed in there for however long it took me to piss, wash my hands, zone out at my reflection, and snap my own self out of it.

when i left the bathroom, i still felt like i needed another second before going back to the section, so i stepped out the side door, texted kennedy where i was and snatched my forgotten pre-roll from behind my ear.

i didn't hear the satisfying sound of the lighter sparking, because it was drowned out by a voice i'd known all too well.

it was jaliyah. drunk jaliyah to be exact, and i'd known that by the way she was whining.

sober jaliyah didn't whine, though she'd told me she wished she was annoying enough to do it because then she'd get her way. drunk jaliyah did whatever she had to do to get the outcome she wanted. and in that moment, it sounded like she wanted to be left alone.

"nooooo," her voice was high as she dragged the word out, "i don't wanna g- let me go."

she was loud enough in the front of the club for me to hear her on the side, and i knew that someone could see her. i knew that whatever was happening- if it was bad- would have been handled appropriately.

my pride would be the death of me.

i just couldn't allow myself the peace of minding my business when it came to her, so against my better judgement i shoved the joint back behind my ear and rounded the corner.

it was dude. big, beefy nigga who was struggling to get jaliyah into his car. (his weak ass fishbowl that had expired tags.)

there was a line around the building and the bouncer was watching the whole thing go down with a slight grin, like seeing an intoxicated woman being shoved into a car was lowkey funny as hell.

it wasn't. and it wouldn't have been even if it wasn't jaliyah. but it was, so unfortunately i had to channel sierra canyon ju and push the line that much further.

"aye!" my heavy timbs felt weightless while i ran to them- to her. "the hell is you doin?"

i raised a hand and shoved one of the shoulders attached to the arm wrapped around this girl who'd haunted me for three months.

naturally, his body shifted in my direction, and he realized the voice didn't belong to a 5'4 girls girl with a moral compass. we were the same height, and he was bigger than me, but i was angrier.

still, he played it off. chuckled, like the shit was funny "it's not what you thinkin," he waved me off and turned back to jaliyah- who'd once again frozen when she'd seen me. "my girl is lit, she not trynna go home,"

this nigga-

jaliyah decided to find her voice again, and she didn't whine when she mumbled a quiet, "ju."

it was like she no longer cared about the situation she was in. she wasn't fighting him off anymore. just still, mouth closed, eyeing me like i don't even know what.

she looked confused, but comfortable. like she was glad to see me, but hurt by my presence all in the same breath.

"that's not your girl," i snarked and reached for her, "and you needa let her the fuck go."

he smacked his lips, "how you gon te-"

i wasn't even trynna hear all that, and i didn't have to explain shit to him. "let her go."

"who even are y-"

"juju?" someone was calling me from far away- kennedy.

she and londyn rounded the corner, whipping their heads in the other direction before turning and dropping their shoulders when they saw us.

"ju, what's g- liyah?" kennedy was shocked to see her, but she was even more shocked to see her being manhandled, and i knew that because she stepped up right next to me and squared her shoulders just like i had. "who the fuck is this?"

even londyn's little ass stepped to the plate and eyed the nigga before he'd decided that jaliyah was more trouble than she was worth and unwrapped himself from her.

he left her standing there- still staring at me- being checked out by ken and londyn.

her eyes never left mine, mine never left hers. i know i just did allat, but suddenly, i wanted to be anywhere but there.

there: standing on the sidewalk staring at each other like were in a netflix movie.

none of it felt real, and i had to get out of there before it did. before the truth of the situation snuck up on us and i crumbled in front of all these people.

"ken," i snapped, "go get my car." i fished my keys out of my jorts and tossed them. "lo, text the groupchat and tell em to come on."

the chaos of the front of a club continued until the girls all tumbled out of the club, and kennedy's aggy ass sped her way to the curb.

"it's too many bodies," she announced, "somebody gotta lap up."

everyone was fucked up, besides me, but we made it work, and soon everyone had been dropped off besides jaliyah.

"where we takin you?" ken asked, turning to the back where liyah was sprawled out on my seats. "liyah, cmon sis, we gotta take you somewhere."

kennedy had never been to liyah's new place, and she didn't know i had either because she was yet to be brought in on the lore. it wasn't something i talked about. she just knew liyah and i used to be friends, and then we weren't.

i stayed quiet. i knew jaliyah was too drunk to tell ken where she lived, and i'd planned on bringing her to our place regardless.

liyah just moaned and turned in the seat, concrete evidence that she was done for the night. kennedy sighed and trailed her eyes to me. i was staring forward, forcing myself into indifference.

"you trynna take her to ours?" she inquired, like she was scared that i was really boutta just leave the girl stranded. "i mean- ion know what went down between ya'll but what else can we do?"

i remained neutral as i put the car in drive, and once again auto-piloted my way home. it was war getting her in the house, but once we were in, ken dealt with liyah.

i couldn't do the whole 'i know we not cool but imma take care of you' thing.

played out, corny, so true that i couldn't allow myself to do it.

i spent that night feeling my skin cool down after being burned raw under the hot shower. i threw on a black sports bra and some essentials shorts and threw myself in bed. my passion twists would hate me in the morning but clothes was all i could manage.

in bed, i asked myself what the fuck i was doing. why i was moving like the way i was. i knew what i felt for jaliyah and i knew the issue was that she didn't.

it could all be so simple.

explain and apologize.

my pride would be the death of me.

♱

when i woke up, i walked out to jaliyah laid out in kennedy's clothes. drooling on my couch, cuddled into the cushion- she was just as beautiful as she'd been last night, all dolled up.

the domesticity.

i went to the gym because i didn't wanna just sit there and watch her sleep, but hiding from her in my own house wasn't something i could justify.

so i left, destroyed my body in the weight room, got some shots up. brent sang to me about empathetic narcissism until i couldn't feel anything, and that's when i went back to my car.

i sat there for a second, finding my breathe and my mind. i didn't know how how i was gonna explain to her why she woke up on my couch, but i feel like we had bigger fish to fry. liyah wasn't the avoidance type of person, so i knew that a conversation was gonna be had.

i wanted to talk to her, and tell her everything. that i didn't even fuck the bitch at the party. taht i only went to fucking party because i'd assumed she was gonna be there. that i thought what was understood didn't need to be explained.

but it wouldn't have mattered. she had her mind made up, and that was just that. i wasn't finna do all the begging and pleading shit. if she wanted to talk, we would. but i wasn't going out of my way to explains myself to her.

i kept telling myself that on the drive home.

i don't owe her an explanation.

i didn't even believe myself, but that's just how it had to be.

the second i stepped in the apartment, i heard kennedy and jaliyah cackling. it was a beautiful sound that died when they saw me.

"hey ju," ken smiled but her voice was too soft. i knew that jaliyah had told her everything. "imma let ya'll talk."

and then she was in her room and jaliyah was examining the floor like it held the key to the mystery of life.

"you feel okay?" i asked from the kitchen.

denial was the best course of action. maybe if i lied to myself enough, it'd feel like everything was really okay. if ignored the hole she was staring into the side of my face, her gaze would soften and i'd see the fondness i'd grown so accustomed to.

"you for real?" she was quick with it, shooting her words out like she'd rehearsed them. "no, i don't feel okay."

what the fuck did she want me to say? of course she wasn't feeling okay. she was shitfaced eight hours ago.

she never heard of small talk?

"why am i here, judea?"

she thought i hated when she called me by my full name. like it meant i was in trouble or something. and she really only did call me that when she was pissed at me, but i loved it.

every syllable sounded so familiar, like it didn't matter that no one called me that,. when she said my name, i wasn't even thinking about the fact that she was mad because she was saying my name.

"you got fucked up last night. some d-"

"i know what happened." she cut in "my question is. why am i in your house?"

"you couldn't tell ken where you lived." i shrugged.

"you-" her spine straightened as she blinked at me. "you know where i live, judea."

"yeah," i nodded, turning away so i couldn't look at her. i had to distract myself. the pattern on our cabinets had always fascinated me. "i know."

"so..." she sounded like she was getting closer, her bare feet slapping against the tile. "why did you not take me home?"

what did home mean, really?

was it a physical location, or was it an emotional space? a place that felt warm but still gave you goosebumps.

the term was so broad... you know?

she was in front of me now. kennedy's short swallowed her, she swam in the basketball shorts. her edges had been slept off.

domesticity.

i stared at her tired face. the fire in her eyes. i wanted to throw gas at it and watch her burn.

"you are home." i smiled.

i knew it was corny. i knew it would irritate her.

that was the goal, guys !

"i'm not boutta do this witchu." she moved for the door, bare foot and all. i side stepped to block her, and she shuffled to move around me. i guess she forgot she was dealing with a defensive problem, but it wa sno way she was getting outta here if i ain't want her to. "move." she gritted out, not even looking at me.

"just wai-" she moved to leave again. i moved with her, trying to get her to look at me.

to see me.

she rolled her eyes, "get out my fucking way." i didn't move, "judea i wanna leave."

i wanted to ask what that had to do with me, but i didn't wanna poke the bear too much.

"yo car not even here, liyah." i crossed my arms and smiled when her face fell at the realization. "yeah. gon head and sit back down, ma."

she turned her back and plopped down like a two year old.

"you wanna smoothie?" i asked nodding to the ninja blender that i'd went back to.

she shook her head. "if you gon make me stay then we gotta talk."

"about?" like i didn't know what the fuck she meant.

"judea, don't piss me off."

"aight, aight," i put my hands up in a don't shoot kinda way and laughed, "go head."

"i said what i wanted to say." she shrugged, "i been said it. it's your turn now."

there was so much i wanted to say. so much i wanted to explain. to confess.

but how do you tell someone that you've fucked over that you crave her. that you wanna hide her away and marvel in everything that she is? how do you say that without seeming like a fien? seeming desperate.

"i miss you." was what i came up with. tip of the iceberg, but true enough.

she laughed at that. it sounded pained and weak and so not jaliyah. "you miss fuckin me."

she always thinks its about sex. like it was all we'd done. we'd always been bigger than that but she just minimizes it.

i did miss the sex, but the sex wasn't just sex. we weren't fucking.

ion even know how to explain it, but it was so much deeper than that.

"well, yeah." i nodded because i wasn't trynna lie to her. "but nah. like... "i miss you."

her head cocked to the side and she looked at me like a math problem. "watchu mean?"

she wasn't slow. i knew she knew what i meant. she wanted me to spell it out for her, but i was scared if i started, i'd never stop.

truly spelling out the way i'd missed jaliyah meant going from a to z about how empty everything felt. how mundan it had been.

"like you're presence." summarizing. generalizing. vagueness was good. "i just miss havin you here."

that shit seemed too weak. my eyes felt a little too watery. i felt too open. too exposed.

"and i know you miss me, too."

she scoffed and straightened her face. "ion need you, judea."

she sounded so matter-of-fact. like she'd already established that she was fine.

it pissed me off, because i knew she was lying. but she was the victim here so i let her have it.

"that's wild," i shook my head. "cuz i need you."

at that point, i was so outside of my body, i didn't care how lame i'd sounded.

it was true that i'd needed her. i'd never planned on saying that, but i would yell at myself later.

the embarrassment settled in quick, though, because she didn't question it. she just sat there. quiet. staring. trying to figure out what the fuck was happening.

i didn't know if i'd ever been so real with her before, so i let her get her bearings.

she understood though.

she had to.

"you can't say shit like that to me and just expect me to spread my legs again."

here she go with this shit again. i ain't even want to sleep with the girl.

i mean i did. but id i had to prove the point, then i would.

my pride would be the death of me.

"i'm not even trynna do allat, liyah." i shook my head.

she was still in the living room, and i was still in the kitchen. there was so much distance between us and yet she felt so close it put fear in my chest.

she tilted her head again, puursing her lips and cut her eyes, as if calling bullshit.

as if to say "yeah, fucking right."

"so you don't wanna fuck me?"

the fuck kinda question-

"why you always gotta go there?" i laughed, because it was funny.

it amused me, the way she always made herself seem like just a fuck buddy.

i'd literally told her that i needed her and she still thought i wanted sex.

i wanted to have sex with her, but i didn't wanna fuck her.

there was a difference.

she didn't answer my question, just put her hand up as a way to shut me up.

"do you wanna fuck me, judea?"

she put it plainly, but none of this was plain.

it was all so complex and i never wanted to simplify it. i liked out complexities and complication.

"i've never fucked you, jaliyah." i sounded smooth, but i felt rough and tight and full of ridges. i needed an oscar for this shit. "you know it's always been more than that."

i hope she knows that it always had, and always will be deeper than fucking with her.

"well watchu call it then?" she sounded quiet then. like she was scared of my answer.

shit- i was scared of my answer.

one wrong word and i'd make a fool of myself. more of a fool than i'd already been.

i need you.

who the fuck says that???

"ion know but,"

but it's real. it's everything to me. i missed it. i need it.

"we bigger than that."

she was quiet. i was quiet.

all i could hear was the air conditioning buzzing and the blood rushing in my ears.

she was expressionless, staring again. i swear she didn't blink for three whole minutes.

she finally broke the silence. "ion know what to say."

i didn't know what the hell she meant.

say you agree. say you've felt it too. say you forgive me. say "here's all i am. do what you want with it."

say something.

"say what you feel."

cornball ass shit.

but she had to be honest with me or i would die. i didn't want the fake version or the watered down version. i wanted her the way i'd always had her.

raw. real.

she was silent again. i thought she was about to bare her heart and soul to me and run in my arms and never leave.

i'd given her all i could in that moment so she had to reciprocate.

right?

wrong.

"i wanna go home, ju."

i blinked at her. just looked at her for a second. that wasn't the reaction i'd wanted, but it's what i got.

i couldn't even really be mad at her. i wouldn't wanna be here either. i damn sure wouldn't know what to say. that's why i didn't press her.

i swallowed it all. the "don't leave me"s and the "hear me out"s,

i shoved it back down and grabbed my keys.

"come on."

♱TAGLIST: @patscorner @fuddsgf @mattslolita @thaatdigitaldiary @janaelalfysblunt @kmoneymartini

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@naeswrrldd @his-loss @dreatopia @evry1luvzzae @bueckersverse @darlindayss @itsstavy13 @janaelalfysloml @bxeckersz

@spcncershasting @iknowwhatyoutellyourfriends @giavonnii @rishofkf @thesexiestdomfem

[24hrssofnea]

𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍𝐀𝐆𝐄 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋

➜ pairing: juju watkins x fem!reader

➜ warnings: jealous!juju, possessive!juju, cussing, and joyce being a thirsty hoe.

➜ post it note: i feel like juju was kinda handling it soft because baby if that was me we woulda been fought

🎧• teenage girls by cherry glazer

intro → playlist → chapter 1 → chapter 2

Chapter Two — JUJU POV 🦅

i guess everyone needs a wake-up call in their life. mine was that i’d be ready to fight for wylie marshall any day at any place at any time.

It was supposed to be just another home game. Packed gym, cameras flashing, Rayah already jawing at refs before warmups ended, and Wylie sitting courtside in her usual spot—camera in hand, hoodie bunched up around her elbows, legs crossed like she owned the place.

She didn’t even know. She never knows.

That she’s the only one I look for when I step out of the tunnel. That she’s the reason I double-check my hair tie and swipe gloss before media day. That sometimes, in the middle of a drill, my eyes drift across the gym just to make sure she’s still there. Still safe. Still mine—even if she’s not mine yet.

That should’ve been the energy going into this one. USC vs. South Carolina. Big names. Big matchup. Bigger attitude.

But Joyce Edwards had to start running her mouth. And that’s when everything went left.

—

Tip-off. Ball in the air. I’m dialed in.

Almost.

Because Joyce—Joyce freaking Edwards—leans over during the jump like we’re best friends or something and says:

“Yo, who’s the girl on y’all bench with the camera? That’s your media girl? She bad as hell.”

I blink. The ref hasn't even finished his damn toss and she's over here scouting my girl like it’s Tinder.

I stiffen. “What?”

Joyce shrugs like it’s nothing, eyes still very much on Wylie. “The one in the blue. Little hoodie. Braids. She always takin’ pics—”

“I know who she is,” I snap.

And I do. I know her better than anyone in this gym. That hoodie is mine, by the way. She doesn’t know I noticed she never gave it back. Doesn’t know I like it better on her anyway. Doesn’t know she smiled at Kayleigh earlier and I haven’t recovered since.

Joyce leans in again. “You tryna put me on?”

I see red.

Dead serious, I blacked out for like two full seconds because the next thing I know, the ball’s already been tipped, the whistle blows, and I’m yelling—

“Yo, shut yo f—shut THE fuck up!”

Whole gym goes silent.

Ref turns to me like I cursed his mother. “Technical foul—Watkins, number 12.”

I freeze. “A tech? Are you deadass?”

Coach is already off the bench. “Ju, what the hell was that?!”

But I’m not looking at her. I’m looking at Wylie. And she’s staring at me with those wide, worried eyes and that little crease in her brow like she can feel the heat rolling off me.

Rayah’s on her feet behind her, yelling, “That’s what you get talkin’ crazy to my cousin!”

Wylie doesn’t say a word. She never does. She just reaches for her camera slowly, like she’s not sure if she should keep filming or not.

And I hate it.

Not her. Not the way she looks at me like I’m something she can’t name yet. I hate Joyce. I hate that Joyce saw her. That Joyce talked about her. Like she’s available. Like she’s on the damn menu. Like she’s not already mine in every way that matters—quiet ways, off-the-record ways, soft glances in hallways, and passing batteries to her when her flash dies.

Joyce smirks at me. “You good?”

“Nah, I’m not good,” I say, still fuming.

Coach tugs me by the arm, dragging me to the bench while the ref gets ready to shoot free throws. “That’s your first tech of the season, Watkins.”

I look away, jaw locked. “It should be Joyce’s. She was being thirsty.”

“She was talking,” Coach growls. “And you’re starting. Now pull it together.”

I run both hands over my face. Try to breathe. Try not to look for Wylie again.

Fail.

She’s already pointing her lens at the free throw line, doing her job, like always. But I know her. That little frown she gets when she’s confused. That pause before she clicks—when her head tilts like she’s wondering if I’m okay.

She’s wondering right now. Because I’m not okay.

I hear Kayleigh lean over and whisper, “Girl, you got it bad.”

I shove her lightly. “Shut up.”

But she’s not wrong.

I do. I got it bad.

And if Joyce—or anyone else—thinks they can just waltz into Galen and talk slick about Wylie like she isn’t the onlything I replay in my mind every night?

They better be ready for more than a technical.

Because Wylie’s not just some media girl. She’s mine.

They just don’t know it yet.

[bruhstation]

it’s valentine’s day AND my birthday so I can have some selfship art as a treat

[melanodes-will]

new oc :3 hes ainsley o'neill, hes celtic and was born on 81 d.C. im working on his lore with a friend, who has an oc which is the brother of mine.

he was on his way to becoming a druid when there was a roman attack on his tribe, after that he and his brother went to escape from the tribe and somehow made it to a roman province, there they were adopted by a modest family but after some time there his brother started to miss home, deciding he should return to the tribe. ains remained there and growing up he got the chance to join the roman army, living battles going on in germany and the judea suppressions. on one battle he was sent again to his homeland with the task that they should take down the celtic queen (which was his brother's wife) during the battle his brother recognise him and.. well, we're working on it, so its still a beta version.

the first drawing represents him when hes 13, and the second shows him in his 20s, he chose to grow his hair long to remember his celtic origins (the celts had long hair as a tradition)

[cosmicangst]

my ocs 💖

mass effect

augustine jane shepard

filipino-canadian

earthborn sole survivor

vanguard

li: garrus

70% renegade, 30% paragon

red dead redemption

vera larue (34)

black (creole of color)

unofficially trained as a doctor, currently works as a maid at the local sanatorium

lives with her mother, ada lynn

meets and befriends arthur morgan in the early 1900s

ada lynn larue (55)

black (creole of color)

owns and runs a boarding house

loves her daughter but sometimes treats her more as a business partner than family

widowed for more than a decade. currently being courted by one of her neighbors

my novel (the moon eaters)

arduja rodarte (26)

main character. the rare non-magical person in a family line of magical people

hotel restaurant waitress

charo rodarte (19)

duja’s younger half-sister. can see and talk to the dead

second year art school student, majoring in fashion design

dulce rose-nieves (?)

mysterious socialite and hotelier

secretly the bakunawa, ancient sea dragon/witch cursed to inhabit a human form

currently in a lavender marriage/business arrangement with powerful magnate, montalvo rose

nora rodarte (42, at the time of her disappearance)

duja and charo’s estranged mother, who disappeared mysteriously years ago

psychic, foresaw her own fate

héctor lucero (31)

former double agent for the city guards and secret assassin of major underground crime ring. abruptly quit both due to an “incident” three years ago (might be related to nora’s disappearance)

now works as a library assistant and ghostwrites romance novels, pretending he’s more harmless than he looks

judea lucero (21)

combat prodigy but naive. aspiring officer of the city’s peacekeeping guards

héctor's younger cousin, raised alongside him by héctor's father

mabel lucero (65)

héctor and jude's paternal grandmother

sweet front, but runs one of the biggest underground crime rings in the city

co-owns the restaurant duja works in with dulce and monty (frequently colludes with them in various schemes)

mayari

priestess, the direct ancestor of the rodartes and the source of their power

dulce’s (bitter) ex-lover and the one who bound her

might not be as dead as presumedly thought

my visual novel (nighthawks)

alberta "birdie" rosales (mc) - assistant mortician. aswang. constant liar, always shifting personas for her survival, considers herself as cursed, embraces it with weary resignation

ariel al-safadi - childhood acquaintance. boss/mortician. older, stoic, no-nonsense, shows affection in understated ways, fluent in french and arabic, gentleman in courtship mainly because he's been to one date his entire life and so falls to basic decency for lack of experience

graeme "gray" cathcart - new neighbor. flirt, friendly, charming to a fault. kind of an idiot but street smart and wiser in terms of seeing other people's characters and intentions. can see ghosts.

st. john - always in the same bus and at the same diner, moonlights as a hitman. noncommittal, lazy, sharp, cryptic, calculating, easygoing but keeps people at a distance. not bound by the rules of society. has probably lived centuries (? we dont know.) maybe a crow (? we also don't know.)

elias al-safadi - childhood friend. giving ex vibes, though the relationship was never consummated. similarly doomed and knows/relishes in it. caustic, sarcastic, and confrontational. blunt and pragmatic. betrayed and killed by birdie. seemingly resurrected now for revenge reasons. technically also an aswang.

[spellboundcities]

I do not know whether or not you wanted doodle requests connected to the post or not.

But I would absolutely love to hear about your OCS!! I genuinely enjoy hearing everyone else's stories and their characters!

!!!! I've got a WHOLE bunch of characters to yap about, so I settled on Judea! College age lesbian who wants to start a band turned vengeful ghost, brought back from the underworld by her once-girlfriend...who was trying to revive someone else

Her toyhouse page is a heavy WIP, but you can find her here! (Warnings for heavy blood/gore)

[skleechtheleech]

hiii I made a part 2 of some oc voice claims from my previous one I posted + a revamp on Tirzah’s since after relistening to it I felt like her’s didn’t fit too well, so she’s here too in this part :]

Voice credits under here:

Cyrus - Miles Morales from both spiderverse movies

Eunice - Carla from Scrubs

Brizo - Sister Calderon from Red Dead Redemption 2

Armon - Mikey from Surf’s Up

Emmett - Denahi from Brother Bear

Judea - Tigress from Kung Fu Panda

Harald - Big Z/Zeek from Surf’s Up

Tirzah - Lucille from A Monster in Paris