#just because the misunderstanding doesnt hinder their relationship doesnt mean it isnt there

[getyinyusedtoit]

i love hualian's specific brand of misunderstanding because it happens due to their internalized feelings of inadequacy and self denial, and these feelings remain self contained. there is no betrayal or argument of any kind, no big catalyst that changes the dynamic of their relationship in some awful way, no negative assumptions placed upon one by the other. they just happen as they are both testing the waters and working through what they're allowed to want, allowed to have while their individual inability to see themselves as worthy of taking want they want, of being loved gets in the way every time.

and it's so good, seeing them fumble these moments that are clearly veiled or outright confessions and yet continue to grow closer in spite of it. to watch them have this journey and watch them teach each other the things they themselves need to learn. it's good because centuries of self denial wouldn't go away overnight, no matter how perfectly they slot into each others lives. instead we get to see both of them learn that they can start to give and take what they want more and more over their journey, until it culminates in less of a confession and more of an acknowledgement, finally having the ability to reach out and embrace love you feel you don't deserve while also giving love to someone who equally fears they don't deserve it.