#just eliot and margo keeping their hands on each other's legs for reassurance both their own and the other's

[kingandqueenofgoodtime]

Eliot & Margo + touching each other in the aftermath of the probablity spell

[eliotqueliot]

Right After the Mosaic

Drawn for the @magiciansfanworksextravaganza challenge Welcome Home!, WEEK 5: Feb. 24-Mar. 2, Returning after absence (or returning to being themselves). (Presented in Week 6.)

Margo comes back and stops the quest. BUT for that to happen, Eliot and Quentin actually spent their lifetimes at the Mosaic. This was the only way home for them. So even though they "never went," they're also "returning home" the way they always thought they would via magic once they solved the Mosaic--in the only way possible for them (since Eliot is dead and Quentin is now an old man--magic is very literal and specific, returning them to the very time they left, and there's only one way to do that). It reminds me a bit of the way Lucy and her siblings return from Narnia--to the exact day and ages when they left. Only in The Magicians, magic is a bit more cruel and realistic: this means they never lived that life. But at the same time, magic gives them a gift: just like the Pevensie children, Eliot and Quentin are soon able to remember their adventures and lost lifetimes. One might say they have both "returned" after an absence...and returned to being themselves (the selves they were before the quest). And yet...there's another meaning here as well.

This scene itself, these portraits, are from the time where they're sitting with Margo in the living room of the Physical Kids Cottage. And although we see Quentin's hands passing Eliot the trail mix, we never actually get to see them looking at each other directly (I wish we did) because the camera keeps panning from Eliot and Margo on one side, to Quentin on the other. But Quentin has actually taken a seat on the end table right in front of Eliot. They're facing each other. So these expressions--are part of their conversation with one another. They each have such a pensive look. Though in the next moment, Eliot is reassuring Quentin that they didn't die because it was an alternate timeline, and thanking Margo for saving their lives...I can't help but wonder if on some level, they already have feelings/proto memories about the Mosaic...the memories already there inside them, ready to be woken up. This moment, when Quentin and Eliot both reflect on the fact that they died, feels like more than that. Quentin is sitting so close--while sitting on the end table so close to the couch, you barely get a glimpse of this when Q passes the mix, but his knees are all mixed in with Eliot's--not just brushing but their legs and feet are in between each other's. (How I wish we had them both in the frame!) And the way they're looking at each other seems so soft and wistful. I feel as though from the moment Margo looped them into not having gone...they have these feelings and memories, just waiting. Their hearts already know things have changed.

To see this drawing with greater resolution/sharpness (if you have the chance to view it on a computer or laptop, you'll get more detail), visit Chapter 14 of Mosaic Haiku on AO3:

Mosaic Haiku (with Art) - Chapter 14 - EliotQueliot - The Magicians (TV) [Archive of Our Own]

I say a lot more about it here, where I first had the thought and put this together:

[minister-for-femslash]

I Just Want To Feel Warm Again

Summary: After an attack by mermaids, Alice and Julia find themselves close. So very close. 

Pairings: Alice/Julia. Mentions of Alice/Quentin and Julia/Penny23

Warnings: Mentions of character death

Word Count: 8,616

Authors Note: A fic for Welters Challenge, theme 4: ships

Authors Note 2: This is a sequel to my previous entry Ritualistic Nature as well as it’s companion piece So It Turns Out You’re Not My Soulmate (although you don’t have to read So It Turns Out You’re Not My Soulmate to understand this piece).

Alice's legs hang over the side of the Muntjac. She stares down at the clouds floating beneath them. They've been stationary for almost two hours now, Margo's attempts to reason with the ship clearly failing for reasons Alice can't imagine except that maybe she simply doesn't wish to return to the castle at the end of the world after what happened last time. That's something Alice can understand. She runs her hand across the floor of the Muntjac - a gesture meant to be reassuring – only to stop a moment later. Sentient or not, it still feels odd to stroke a boat.

Alice looks over her shoulder. She sees Penny, Kady, Quentin and Eliot standing at the bow. They're huddled together. Their voices are low, so low that Alice can't hear them and she knows that's the point. Whatever they're talking about she’s not allowed to be a part of.

And maybe that's right.

Alice turns away. She stares down at the clouds again and it isn't until she hears footsteps more than ten minutes later that she looks back up.

Julia steps on deck. She has a book in her hand and she casually flicks through the pages for a moment before she closes it. She looks over and Alice smiles. Julia lifts up her hand and gives her a quick wave. Alice waves back. Julia begins to walk over only for Penny to interject, almost out of nowhere. He steps in front of Julia and Alice can see the way her eyes widen a little in surprise.

Penny talks and Julia smiles. It's forced. Alice can see that and she's sure that Penny can too because when he reaches out to touch her arm or maybe her shoulder he stops half way and then shoves his hands into his pockets. Julia is still wearing the other Penny's jacket and she pulls it tight around her.

Alice thinks that will be the end of the conversation but then Julia nods her head and Penny shifts just a little bit closer.

As she watches them Alice hears a gentle hum. A soft melody that seems to float up from beneath the clouds and touch her. She can feel a tingle in her fingertips. She looks down. The hum slowly turns into words and the tingles move along her hands and up her arms.

Alice leans forward. Her grip on the rail tightens. She closes her eyes and allows the voice to wash over her. It's sweet and pleasant, and beautiful.

It calls to her.

She slowly stands up and looks around. She wants to know if anybody else can hear it, but Julia and Penny are still talking, as are Quentin, Eliot and Kady. None of them seem to notice the singing.

She turns back to the rail. There's a warmth in her chest. It's the type of warmth she hasn't felt since... 

She grabs the rail and pulls herself up.

“Alice.”

The sound of her name cuts through the melody of the song for just a moment and she feels the warmth dissipate, leaving behind nothing but a harsh coldness in her chest. There's a hand on her wrist. It tries to pull her back from the edge and she feels a flash of anger.

Alice lashes out. Her hand meets flesh and her nails tear at skin. Julia stumbles back. She can see a flash of red on Julia's face. Blood. Julia looks at her, shocked and hurt as her hand comes up to cover her cheek.

“I'm so...” Alice hears the singing again. The warmth in her chest is back and she turns. She climbs over the rail and even though she can hear Julia scream for her, she steps off the Muntjac.

She falls.

The air rushes past her ears. Her arms are lifted and her clothes ruffle as she drops from the sky. Her eyes sting and well with tears. She can see it. The dark blue of the ocean, the reflection of the moon in the surface of the water as it rushes towards her.

There's a splash. She hits the water, hard. The air is forced out of her lungs as she drops below the surface. 

She doesn't struggle. She just allows the water to surround her, to wrap around her.

There's a woman in front of her. Her skin shimmers in the moonlight, pale and smooth. Her long, brown hair floats around her. Her tail glitters, blue and purple scales layered on top of each other.

A mermaid.

Her mouth moves and a small line of bubbles float out. They rise to the surface and Alice can hear the song louder now. Her deep, brown eyes seem to shine and Alice wants to drown in them. The mermaid stretches out her hand. There are long, sharp claws and Alice swims towards her.

There's another splash.

The mermaid turns away from Alice and opens her mouth. There are thin, spiked teeth, patterned in a spiral. The mermaid lets out a shrill, high-pitched scream that seems to hit Alice square in the chest. It knocks her back. The water rolls around her and she spins.

Alice sees more brown hair floating in the water, but it's not the mermaid.

It's Julia.

She swims towards Alice. Her arms are outstretched, as she beckons Alice towards her. But the mermaid streaks past. She slams into Julia's midsection and Julia seems to fold under the force of the blow. The mermaid grabs at Julia. Her claws dig into Julia's side and drags her down.

Julia's arms flail as she tries unsuccessfully at grasp at Alice, to wiggle free. The mermaid continues to drag her down. They sink into the dark depths of the ocean, leaving behind nothing but trail of Julia's blood.

As they disappear from her sight Alice feels a burn in her chest. She hiccups and water floods into her mouth. Her lungs are desperate for oxygen. She looks towards the surface. She doesn't want to but she heads towards it, coughs and splutters, and gasps for air.

There's a whoosh overhead. A rope lands next to her and drops of water hit her face. Alice looks up. The Muntjac hovers above her. The sails flutter as she slowly floats down to the surface.

“Alice!” Quentin stands at the bow. One hand gripping the rail, the other the rope. “Alice! Grab it!”

Alice looks over. The rope is only a few metres away. She could grab it easily if she tried. 

She hears the singing again. It seems to echo through the air, that beautiful melody. She turns. There's another mermaid, this one with blonde hair and sharp cheekbones. Alice smiles and swims towards her.

“Alice!” Quentin shouts.

The mermaid gently cups Alice's cheek and pulls her close. Alice sinks into her. She can feel the sharp claws trail along her shoulders as she rests her head in the crook of the mermaid's neck. There's a hint of pain and Alice doesn't mind. The mermaid sings in her ear. The warmth in her chest gets stronger. It spreads through the rest of her body, forcing out the terrible cold that has settled there. She lets out a long, slow sigh. Her hands come up and wrap around the mermaid's waist as the tension slowly drains out of her.

“Leave her alone.”

The voice sounds faint and far away. A hand grabs onto Alice's arm and pulls her back. It's Julia. Alice turns and tries to push her away, but Julia surges forward. She wraps her arms around Alice's chest. Alice tries to struggle but her arms are pinned to her side. She kicks her legs and tries to wiggle free, but she has no purchase and Julia seems unnaturally strong.

She pulls Alice back.

“Stop,” Alice says. “Let me go.”

The mermaid just watches. Her lips stretch out into a smile and then she disappears under the water.

“No!”

Alice continues to struggle as Julia grabs the rope and tries to wrap it around both of them. She doesn't get it tight enough. There's a tug on the rope and it easily slides away from them. Julia reaches for it again. Her grip loosens just slightly and Alice throws herself forward. Her face hits the water. She swallows some as she whips her body to the left. Julia is pulled forward but her arms stay firm around Alice's chest.

Julia grabs the rope again and this time she has a better grip. She wraps it around the two of them. Alice can feel it dig into her skin.

She continues to struggle.

“Stop, Alice. Stop it. I'm trying to help you.”

There’s a pull and the two of them are lifted up. Alice's feet swing as the rope rubs harshly against her arms and she can feel it burn.

“No! Let me go!”

“Alice!”

“I want to be with them!”

“Alice!”

The rope keeps pulling. The sound of the song fades as they get higher. Alice looks down at the sea. She searches for any sign of the mermaid but all she can see are ripples that move across the surface of the water. She deflates. She stops her struggle and leans her head back against Julia's shoulder.

Julia's arms grip her tighter.

“It's alright. It's okay, you're okay,” Julia says. “I have you.” 

The ripples on the surface of the water gets larger and larger, slowly building to a wave. The mermaid – the original brunette – bursts out. Her tail shimmers in the moonlight as she flies through the air.

Alice reaches out for her.

The mermaid grabs at Julia. Alice twists and sees her claws dig into Julia's hips. Julia cries out. The mermaid's mouth opens and she clamps down on Julia's thigh.

The rope becomes twisted and the three of them spin. They crash into the side of the Muntjac. They bounce off and then hit it again. Julia takes most of the blow while Alice remains cushioned against her. Julia's grip loosens. Alice can feel herself slip. She manages to get her hands up and grabs the rope. She tries to pull it away from her. The rope spins again, faster this time and Alice sees a blur of colour.

There's a jolt of pain in Alice's side, but she barely feels it. She places her feet against the Muntjac and kicks off. Julia's grip loosen even more and she starts to drop.

“No!” Julia shouts.

Her hands grab at Alice. She manages to get a grip on Alice's shoulder. It's awkward but it's working. Alice hangs in the air and she can't get herself loose.

“Please. Please, just let me go. I need them.”

Julia lets out another cry. The mermaid is still clamped to Julia's thigh and Alice can see her teeth as they dig into Julia's flesh, can see the blood as it pours down over her chin. Julia's blood.

“Somebody do something!” Julia shouts. “Get her off me!”

There's the twang of a bow and Alice feels something whizz past her ear. There's a tiny splash.

“Jesus, Eliot!”

There's another twang and an arrow slams into the mermaid's tail. She throws her head back and lets out a piercing scream. It reverberates through the air and Alice can feel it in her bones. It sends a chill down her spine.

The mermaid falls.

It's like it's happening in slow motion. Alice can see the calmness in her. Her arms don't flail and her tail doesn't flap. She just stares up. Alice can feel the warmth slip away from her.  

They're pulled back onto the Muntjac.

Julia hits the deck first and flops down. Her arms slide away from Alice's chest. Alice quickly squirms to her feet. She rushes towards the rail only for Kady to step in front of her. Alice sees a blur of fist.

Then there's black.

-----

Alice's eyes open slowly.

Her hands reach out and she can feel the softness of a mattress underneath her. There's a pillow under her head. She looks around and sees the wooden walls and the low ceiling and she knows she's still on the Muntjac.

She sits up and throws off the blanket that has been delicately tucked in around her. It hits the floor. She stands up and the boards creak under her feet. She feels a pain in her side and prickles on her shoulders. She lifts up her shirt. There's a dark tinge on her skin just above her hip. A bruise is forming. She checks her shoulders next and there are three identical scratches on each of them.

Her clothes are damp and her hair clings to the back of her neck. Somebody has taken her shoes off and the wood feels cold beneath her feet. She shivers. She wraps her arms around herself. There's a chest of drawers in the corner of the room. She opens the top drawer and takes out a white shirt with a ruffled fringe, clearly one of Eliot's. She takes off her own and puts it on. She doesn't bother changing her trousers.

She heads for the door and reaches for the handle only to stop when she hears voices.

“They must have been singing to her.” It's Quentin.

Alice can hear the concern in his voice.

“I think that's a given. The Muntjac was at least fifty feet in the air and she just jumped. Despite everything that's happened Alice isn't the type to do something like that on a whim,” Eliot says. “But I thought mermaids were seductresses. Luring sailors to their death and all that.”

There's the sound of footsteps. They fade for a moment and then get loud again. Somebody is pacing.

“I don't know about the mermaids on earth but here in Fillory we were always told that they were attracted to loneliness. That they....”

Alice throws the door open and the conversation comes to a complete stop. Fen stares at her, her mouth opening and closing before she plasters a smile on her face and steps towards her.

“Hey,” she says. “How are you feeling?”

“Fine.” Alice notices the slight harshness in her tone and deliberately makes it softer. “I'm fine, thank you.”

There's a moment of silence and the three of them stare at her. Quentin has stopped mid-pace and his hand is over his mouth. There are frown lines on his forehead. His eyebrows are narrowed, but his eyes are soft. Concern. That’s what Alice can see. She wilts a little under his gaze and she wraps her arms around herself tighter.

“Where Julia? I erm... I want to thank her, for... For saving me.”

“She's receiving medical attention,” Fen explains. “One of those mermaids took a pretty big chunk out of her leg.”

“Where?”

“Why don't I show you,” Fen says.

“Great, thank you.”

They start to walk down the corridor and as Alice passes, she notices the bow tossed over Eliot's shoulder.

“Alice, are you okay?” Quentin asks.

Alice doesn't stop.

“I'm fine.” She just throws the words over her shoulder. “I borrowed one of your shirts,” she says to Eliot.

“That's not a problem.”

Alice follows Fen. They turn a corner and head down a long corridor. Alice hears the sound of voices: Julia's voice and a man's, loud and raised. The two of them are shouting. Alice looks at Fen and Fen looks back. They rush down the corridor together and Fen throws open the door.

Julia is wedged into the corner of the room, her back pressed firmly against the wall. Her arms are folded across her chest. Her hair is down around her face. Penny's jacket hangs off of her, soaking wet.

A young man stands near the door. There's a bowl of water and a cloth in his hand.

“What's going on?” Fen asks.

The man turns to her and bows.

“Your Majesty, please. I am just trying to clean her wounds.” He points to Julia's leg.

Her jeans are stained red with blood. There's a large rip on the inside of her right thigh and Alice can see a hint of skin. Julia sees them looking. She turns slightly and then brings her hand down to cover the hole.

“Thank you, but I don't need you to do that.” Julia says. There's a firmness in her voice. “I can take care of it myself.”

“A bite from a mermaid is serious. The wound needs to be thoroughly cleaned or it can lead to an infection and...”

“I'll do it,” Alice says.

“Excuse me.” The young man seems surprised.

“I'll clean the wound.” Alice reaches for the bowl and then looks at Julia. “Would that be alright? If I do it?”

There's a pause. Julia looks at her and then down at her thigh. She bites her lips as she gently nods her head.

“Okay.”

Alice takes the bowl and she smells chemicals, sharp and bitter, and she realises it's not just water. There's antiseptic mixed in.

“Your Majesty, if you have concerns about my ability to perform my duties then please allow me to prove myself to you.”

“Your abilities are not in question. I promise you, this is just... It's a very delicate situation, so perhaps it would be better, if it’s what Julia is most comfortable with, if Alice handles this.”

“Of course, your Majesty.” He bows his head and then exits.

“I'm sor...” Fen stops herself. “Thank you,” she says instead. She waits for the man to leave and then takes a step towards Julia. “I'm sorry. I didn't even think.”

“It's okay.”

“No, it isn't and it won't happen again. I promise.”

“Is that a royal declaration?” Julia asks.

Alice can see the relief on Fen's face as Julia smiles just slightly and a moment later Fen joins her.

“Yeah, I guess it is. If you need anything, come find me.”

“Thanks.”

Fen gives a quick nod of her head and then she leaves.

Alice watches the door close and then waits for the sound of Fen's footsteps to fade away before she walks across the room and places the bowl onto the chest of drawers. She looks over at Julia. Her back is still against the wall but her arms have fallen to her side.

Alice looks at the wound on Julia's thigh.

“You're going to have to remove your...”

“Yeah, I know.” Julia brushes her hair away from her face and slowly peels Penny's jacket from her shoulders. She places it on the bedside table. “And I'd just got it dry from our last swim,” Julia says, with a slight laugh that doesn't quite come out right.

There are three deep gashes on Julia's cheek and Alice looks down at her hand. She sees a hint of blood under one of her fingernails. Her stomach feels tight, like she's swallowed a hot and heavy stone. She stares down at the chest of drawers. There's a stain on the wood. A little black dot and Alice runs her thumb across it.

There's a creak.

Alice turns her head and sees that Julia has stepped away from the wall. Her hands go to the buttons on her jeans. Alice can see them shake slightly as she slowly undoes it.

“We can start with your cheek if you want,” Alice says. She sees a hint of red on Julia's shirt. Blood. “Or your waist.”

“Okay.”

“Do you want to do it on the bed?”

“That's okay.” Julia walks over to the chest of drawers. She places her hands on the edge and pushes herself up. “Here's fine.”

“Alright.”

Alice dips the edge of the cloth into the bowl and then steps towards Julia. She presses the cloth against Julia's cheeks, sees her wince and pulls back. She waits for a moment and then presses it back against her cheek, softer this time. She runs it across the scratches. Once and then twice, and then she stops. “I didn't mean how that sounded.”

“What?”

“About the bed. I didn't mean how that sounded.”

Julia just smiles and Alice brings the cloth back against her cheek. She cleans away the small amount of blood and any dirt or muck that might be there, and then there are just three deep red lines marring Julia’s skin.

She dips the cloth back in the bowl.

“Can you...” Alice points to the bottom of Julia's shirt.

Julia lifts it up and Alice can see the claw marks on her hips, they match the ones on Alice's shoulders. Alice takes another step forward. She can reach the wounds but it’s awkward. Julia's knees press against her stomach.

Julia shifts. She sits up straighter and then spread her legs.

“Thanks.”

Alice tentatively steps between them. She can feel Julia's eyes on her. Her hand tightens on the cloth and the water drips down her hand and along her wrist. 

She keeps her gaze down and focuses on the claw marks. There are pinpricks on the back of her neck. Her mouth is dry. She tries to swallow but the lump that's formed in her throat remains lodged there and she continues to clean the wound long after she needs to.

After a few minutes Alice feels Julia shiver and she drops the cloth into the bowl. She keeps her eyes on Julia's hips.

“I'll erm... I'll do your thigh next. If that's alright?”

“Yeah, sure.”

Alice hears Julia move. There's the sound of a zipper being undone and then the chest of drawers move. Alice looks up. Julia has pushes her jeans down over her hips. Alice holds her breath as Julia tries to push them past the mermaid's bite but a piece of fabric seems to be stuck in the wound.

Julia hisses in pain. 

“Do you want me to...?”

“No.”

Alice hears the rip of fabric and then Julia pushes her jeans the rest of the way down and drops them to the ground.

Julia sits back. Her hands grip the hem of her shirt as she tries to pull it down. She rests her head back against the wall and closes her eyes.

Alice feels shaky as she picks up the cloth. Julia's thighs are open, but not wide enough. She can't see the bite properly.

“I need to...” Alice says. She gently places her hand on Julia's thigh. She doesn't push. She just lets it rest there and waits for Julia. It takes a moment. Alice sees Julia take a breath and then takes one of her own.

Julia opens her thighs wider.

Alice looks at the bite mark. There's a fang wedged deep into Julia's flesh and a trail of fabric from her jeans hangs from it.

“Okay, I'm going to need to, erm...” Alice looks around.

There are a pair of tweezers on the chest of drawers – the doctor must have brought them in. She picks them up.

“There's a...”

“A tooth, yeah.” Julia's eyes open and she looks at Alice. “I can feel it.”

“It's going to hurt.”

“I know. Just make it quick, okay.”

Alice goes for the piece of fabric first. She grabs the ends of it with the tweezers and tries to pull it loose, but it's wedged under the tooth. Julia whimpers. Her hands grip the edge of the chest of drawers and her fingers scratch at the wood.

“Sorry,” Alice says. She looks up and her eyes meet Julia's for a moment.

Alice tries again. This time she grabs the end of the tooth with the tweezers and pulls. It wiggles a little but it's wedged in tight. She places her hand a little firmer on Julia's thigh and she runs her thumb across the skin around the tooth. She tries to avoid the bite marks, but she brushes against it at least twice. She pulls harder this time. The tooth wiggles again and for a moment she thinks that it's going to come loose but instead her tweezers slip off the end and a speck of blood appears on Julia's skin.

A speck becomes a drop and it slides down Julia's thigh.

Alice quickly grabs the cloth. She wipes up the blood and then presses it against Julia's thigh. She can feel the muscle twitch under her hand.

Julia grits her teeth.

“I can stop.”

Alice goes to step back.

“No,” Julia says. She reaches down and grabs Alice's free hand. She squeezes it tight. “Just get it out, okay.”

Alice lifts up the cloth. The blood has stopped and she can see that the tooth has been dislodged just a little. One more pull should do it.

She picks up the tweezers again and grabs the tooth. Julia's grip on her hand tightens. She pulls. The tooth remains wedged for a few moments and then it comes flying out. There's a clatter as it hits the floor.

“Jesus,” Julia says.

There's more blood. Alice cleans it up with the cloth, slowly gentle brushes against the inside of Julia's thigh. Julia is still holding her hand. Her grip isn't as tight now that the tooth is out, instead it just rests there. Their fingers laced together.

“Did the doctor leave bandages or anything?”

Julia points to the bed. There are gauze, three rolls of it. Alice awkwardly pulls her hand away and grabs one. She quickly wraps it around the bite mark on Julia's thigh.

“There we go.”

Alice moves back and Julia steps down from the chest of drawers. She picks up her jeans. Alice turns away and looks down at the floor. She sees the tooth nestled neatly in a gap between two floorboards. She picks it up.

Suddenly the Muntjac moves. It jumps forward and it feels like the floor is pulled out from underneath her feet. Alice is thrown to the side. She stumbles into Julia and the two of them fall against the chest of drawers. Julia holds her up, one of her hands on Alice's hip, the other on her lower back. Alice's arms are around her neck as she leans into her.

The boat continues to move and Alice feels unsteady. Wood scrapes against wood as the bed slides across the floor. The chest of drawers moves too. It almost knocks them both over and they cling to each other just to stay on their feet.

Then it levels off.

The Muntjac is still flying. Alice can feel the floor move under her feet, but it's faint. More of a gentle to and fro than a surge.

“Rough take off,” Julia says.

Alice pulls back just a little. Her arms are still around Julia's neck, she's still close. Julia feels soft. Her hair tickles Alice's shoulder and she can feel the heat of Julia's breath on her face and for a moment, just a moment she looks down at Julia's lip. Her heart rate quickens. Tingles move along her spine and she feels that warmth in her chest.

“Are you alright?” Julia asks.

“Yeah. I'm fine. I'm fine.”

Alice's eyes drops to Julia's mouth again.

She leans in and as her eyes close and their lips meet, Alice is sure that Julia leans in as well. They fumble and their foreheads bump just slightly. The kiss is tentative and hesitant at first. Alice doesn't know what to do with her hands. They start on Julia's neck, then move to her shoulders and then back again.

It's all at little awkward, but that warmth in her chest is growing and Alice has absolutely no desire to pull back.

Then Julia grabs her hips and pulls her closer. There's a confidence to Julia's movements as she deepens the kiss that makes Alice feel like she can just melt into her.

Julia tastes like vanilla and cinnamen, and smells like sea water.

They fall back against the chest of drawers. Their bodies press tight together. Their mouths move against each other and at the first touch of their tongues, Alice moans.

Suddenly Julia pulls back.

Alice is caught by surprise and her hands hang in the air for a moment before she slowly lowers them. Julia stares at her. Her eyes are wide and her hand comes up. Her fingers brush against her lips.

“I'm sorry,” she says. “I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that.” Julia quickly brushes past her. She heads for the door, only to stop and come back.

“I'm sorry. I... I shouldn't have kissed you.”

“I kissed you.”

“And I kissed you back.”

“I wanted you to.” Alice walks towards Julia and is relieved when Julia doesn't step away. “I wanted to kiss you.” She cups Julia's cheeks and leans in. “Can't you feel that?” Alice's heart is thumping in her chest.

“Yeah, I feel it.”

Alice leans in, but Julia stops her. She presses her hand against Alice's chest.

“But I can't. I'm sorry.”

“It's okay. I erm... I understand.” Alice takes a step back and then another. “You and the other Penny. You were in love with him, in some way and you haven't stopped being in love with him just because he's... Just because he's dead.”

“That's not it. I love Penny, I do, and I probably always will but he's not the reason that...” Julia stops. “Quentin is my best friend and you and him...”

“Me and Quentin aren't together anymore.”

“It doesn't matter. He's... He's still in love with you.”

“But you feel it. This... You feel it.”

Julia brings her fingers back to her lips and slowly strokes along them. Alice takes a step forward, but then Julia's hand drops and she shakes her head.

“Alice, I can't. You're Quentin's ex. If we did this, he would... It would kill him. I'm sorry.”

“It's okay. That's fine.” Alice takes another step back, she needs as much distance from Julia as possible. Her gaze drops to the floor as she nods her head a little too fast. “It's fine.” She steps towards the door.

“Alice,” Julia says.

Alice throws open the door and steps into the corridor.

“Alice, please.”

She continues to walk and Julia doesn't try to follow her. She makes her way down the corridor and hears the sound of Kady's voice echoing out. She follows it and finds the rest of the group camped out in the main area of the Muntjac.

“What happened? Why did she suddenly start to fly again?” Kady asks.

“Maybe she decided she didn't like it here anymore,” Margo says.

“Too many mermaids, perhaps.” Alice holds the tooth out and the others turn to look at her. But instead of the mistrust and anger that she's been seeing for the last few weeks there's concern. Just concern, and maybe a little pity, and that in a way is almost worse. “Although it might've been nice if she'd made that decision before I went for a swim.”

The Muntjac suddenly veers to the left and Alice almost topples over. She's the only one of them standing.

“I woudn't insult her,” Margo say. “She doesn't like it.”

Suddenly the tooth is taken out of Alice's hand and she looks up. Julia is standing next to her. She's caught off guard, she didn't hear Julia coming. Alice can't help but look at her and their eyes meet for just a moment. She feels herself shiver and she drops her gaze to the floor.

“The Muntjac is sentient, right? She has thoughts and feelings of her own. Well, what if she can make plans, as well.” 

“Plans?” Alice asks.

“Yeah. You said you needed power, to remove the Siphon. I bet there's power in one of these.”

“Yeah, there is. A lot of power.”

“Can you use it?” Quentin asks.

“I think I can make it work.”

“Clever girl,” Margo says, as she looks at the beating heart of the Muntjac and smiles.

-----

Alice's arms wrap around herself and her hands grip her elbows. Magic pours out of the eight corner of the fountain and Alice can feel it pulsating. Pure, uncorrupted magic. The blue light shines across her face. The keys – the ones Julia created – are still in the locks. Still turned on. The torches flicker and a gust of wind blows through the castle, a gentle hum echoes through the air. Alice hesitates.

The mermaid's tooth is in the palm of her hand and she can feel it digging into her skin. The Siphon is buzzing, expanding and contracting as the magic flows into it. There's ash on the floor. The remnants of the keys she destroyed. It hasn't been blown away. It should've been blown away.

The others are staring at her, watching her with expectation – at least some of them are.

Quentin is on the floor to her right. His legs are crossed, his satchel in his lap. His arms are wrapped around it, hugging it the way a child would a teddy bear. His eyes are wide. The blue from the fountain is reflected in them. He smiles at her and she forces herself to smile back, just to reassure him and then she turns away. 

It's too hard to look at him.

Julia is on her left. Her focus isn't on Alice, instead her gaze is on the ground. She's staring at a spot. The spot, where she remade the keys, where she gave up her powers. Alice can see the way her fingers twitch just slightly and then she gives a definitive nod of head. She turns. Their eyes meet for a moment and Alice steps forward. 

She brings her hands together, one palm on top of the other. The mermaid's tooth is between them. She moves her hands towards the Siphon. Her fingers press against it and a spark of pain shoots through her.

Alice grits her teeth. She closes her eyes and tries to focus her mind. Her fingers move. She follows the pattern that Zelda showed her: middle, pinky, middle, index, middle, pinky, ring. She taps them together.

She fumbles it the first couple of times, but she eventually finds her rhythm and she repeats it, over and over.

Heat comes from the tooth. It burns the palms of her hands and Alice can feel her skin sizzle. The Siphon buzzes. The powers pumps through her and her muscles twitch as the energy vibrates against her, like it's trying to push her back. Her feet slip against the floor.

Alice tries to fights back, but the burning between her hands is a distraction. So are the sparks from the Siphon. She grimaces. Her mouth is dry and a bead of sweat makes it's way down the back of her neck.

“Alice.” It's Quentin.

The sound of his voice cuts through the pain for just a moment. She loses focus. The Siphon sparks again and she is thrown backwards. Alice lets out a frustrated grunt and charges forward.

“Alice, if you can't do this...” Quentin says.

“I can.” Alice spits the words like venom. “I can do it.”

She places her hands back against the Siphon. A spark of pain shoots through her and she's pushes back against it.

“Alice.”

“Q... Give her a chance.” It's Julia.

Her tone is soft. The sound of her voice seems to float through the air and settles around her.

Alice moves her fingers. She gets the order right the first time. The mermaid's tooth burns. She can feel it's power seeping into her. Her movements become quicker and the Siphon sparks.

The tooth evaporates. A puff of grey smoke rises up from her hands. She grabs the Siphon with both hands. She clings onto it as it glows bright white.

“Aa'eaysley!” Alice shouts.

The Siphon remains firm.

“Aa'eaysley! Aa'eaysley! Aa'eaysley!”

Frustration settles in her chest. She feels a wave of anger wash over her as the Siphon drags every ounce of power from her. Her own molecules vibrate. She feels a familiar twinge in the back of her neck. An electricity that runs across her skin.

The niffin. It calls to her.

The Siphon's grip on the fountain has loosened. She can do this. She knows that. She can feel it in the heart of herself. But the electricity is moving from her neck, down through the rest of her body. She can feel the fire raging in her veins. She will crack before the Siphon does. Alice knows that as well.

She keeps going.

Suddenly, there are stong hands on her shoulders. She tries to shrug them off but she's pulled back. Her hands are ripped away from the Siphon and the energy drains out of her. She's immediately exhausted. Bright, white flashes before her eyes.

“Why did you do that?” Alice asks.

She looks up, blinks away the light and sees Eliot in front of her, standing between her and the Siphon.

“I had it.”

“No, you didn't,” Eliot says. “You were niffing out.”

She pulls away from him and tries to step towards the Siphon again.

“Don't.” Eliot slowly moves in front of her. He leans in, speaks quietly enough that only she can hear. “You did this to him before and it almost killed him. You can't do it again.”

Alice looks over at Quentin.

He's on his feet now, his satchel still clutched against his chest. His eyes are wide, Alice can see a hint of tears in them and her stomach twists in knots.

“I'm trying to give you magic back. I'm trying to give you all magic back!”

“I know. But we'll find another way.”

Alice looks at Eliot and there seems to be so much sincerity in his face that she just can't stand it. She looks away. The others are staring at her. Alice turns and quickly walks away.

Nobody tries to stop her.

-----

Alice paces. Her footsteps echo through the corridor. She can see a hint of dry blood on the stone floor, probably where Eliot shot the monster and she moves to the next corridor just to be away from it. Her fingers twitch as she feels the remnants of the power from the mermaid's tooth. It hums inside her, itches under her skin.

She paces. She takes deep breath after deep breath but it doesn't seem to be helping. She lets out a frustrated scream and flops back against the wall. The stone feels cool against her back. She lets out another cry and even though her body is still vibrating she feels a little less angry.

Alice doesn’t know how long she stays there but eventually she picks herself back up and heads back to the fountain.

She expects to find the others still there, maybe huddled together trying to come up with a new plan. But that's not what she finds. Instead they're gone. The only person there is Julia.

Alice stops. She watches for a few moments as Julia walk around the fountain, edging closer and closer.

“Are you alright?” Julia asks.

“I'm fine. I just needed a little... I’m fine.” Alice walks over to her. “Where are the others?”

“They decided to head back to the Muntjac to, you know, regroup. Apparently this place creeps them out.” Julia looks around for moment. “I guess I understand that.”

“Why didn't you go with them?”

“I was just thinking.”

“About what?”

“Something Reynard said the last time I saw him, 'I'm still a god. Limp or not, we're hard to kill.' You can't remove the Siphon, not without niffing out, but maybe I could. I may not have my powers anymore but that doesn't mean I'm not still a god. I mean, we'd need another mermaid tooth but I'm sure the Muntjac cou...”

“No.”

“Why not?”

Alice looks at the Siphon and then back at Julia. Her stomach has tightened, wrapped itself in too many knots. She doesn't have an answer. Not a clear one anyway, all she knows is what she feels.

“Please don't.” It's a whisper. A soft and gentle whisper, and Alice clears her throat. “You weren't born a god. Those powers were gifted to you, we don't really know what that means. You could still be mortal. Besides, Reynard is a trickster, we can't trust anything he says.”

“Why would he lie about that?”

“I don't know. But just don't. Please don't.”

“Okay.”

They fall silent. The tension settles over them. It's heavy and tight, and Alice can feel it pressing against her chest.

“What about the keys? Why don't we just remove one of them?”

“You mean, turn off the fountain?”

“Yeah. Maybe we can just turn off the fountain. Then without magic maybe we can remove the Siphon and then maybe we can switch it back on again.”

“Maybe. Maybe. Maybe.”

Julia turns to her and she smiles.

“Okay, fair enough. It was just a thought.” Julia starts to walk around the fountain again. She leans in and seems to be studying where the Siphon connects.

“It was a good thought. It was just...”

“Not quite good enough.” Julia laughs slightly. “I suppose if we did turn magic off again, the Library would know almost instantly and they'd send that guy, the traveller, here to kill us all."

“Gavin.”

“Yeah, him. Although maybe he's still licking his wounds from the last time.” Julia looks over at her. “You know, when you set him on fire.”

Julia smiles and despite herself Alice smiles back.

“So, any other ideas?” Alice asks.

Julia ponders for a moment.

“Not yet. But give me a couple of minutes.”

“Alright.”

They end up sitting by the fountain. There's a space between them, the smallest of gaps as they both stretch out their legs. They fall silent and Alice can still feel the pressure on her chest. The wind blows through the castle and there’s a chill on her skin. Alice shivers. There's a pain coming from her palm. She holds up her hand. The burn is small but deep. Her skin is red, swollen and bubbling. There's a hint of white in the middle, probably the remnants of the mermaid's tooth.

She sees Julia looking and goes to close her hand.

“Can I?” Julia asks.

Alice slowly nods her head and Julia takes her hand. Her touch is gentle as she runs her thumb across Alice's palm. Alice is tense. She flinches as Julia touches the burn.

“Stay there.”

Julia jumps to her feet. She looks around and sees the pile of ash from the destroyed keys on the floor. She leans down and picks up a small bit. She comes back over to Alice and takes her hand. She sprinkles some of the ash over her palm. It falls. Some of them land on her hand harmlessly but a few specks land on the burn and they spark.

“There’s no magic left in the keys, but with the power from the mermaid’s tooth they ignite.”

Alice looks at the sparks in the palm of her hand and then at the Siphon. She jumps up, keeps her palm outstretched as she walks towards the fountain.

“Can you... Can you get some more of the ash?” An idea is forming. She can feel it building at the back of her mind.

“Sure.”

“As much as possible.”

Julia scoops up as much of the ash as she can and carefully carries it over.

Alice holds her hand over the Siphon.

“I need you to slowly sprinkle the ash over my hand.”

“And then what?”

“I'm going to remove the Siphon.”

Julia smiles and Alice feels a shiver move along her spine.

“Ready.”

Julia nods her head and she starts to sprinkle the ashes. Her hand is a little closer to Alice's palm this time which means her aim is better, more of the ash hits the burn and sparks fly. Alice takes a breath. She waits until there is enough ash in the palm of her hand and then turns it over. She grabs the Siphon.

“Aa'eaysley!” She tugs and the Siphon moves, but it's not quite out yet. She lets go and holds out her hand again. “Keep going.” Julia sprinkles more of the ash. “Aa'eaysley!” She tugs at the Siphon and it almost comes out. She holds out her hand and Julia sprinkles the last of the ash. She grabs the Siphon. “Aa'eaysley!”

The Siphon comes flying out and Alice tumbles. She almost hits the floor. The Siphon sparks and crackles in her hand. It shakes. Julia snatches it out of her hand and throws it across the room. She pulls Alice back as the Siphon explodes.

The torches flicker as magic shoots out of the Siphon. It hits Alice square in the chest and she gasps as it flows into her. Her body goes tense. Her heart beats harder and faster as the magic starts to flow through her veins.

She feels a mixture of ecstasy and fear as she lifts up her hands and flexes her fingers. Her breath is in her throat. She wants to cast. Her desire is heavy in her chest but her hands are shaky and she lowers them.

Alice turns.

Julia is still stood in front of the fountain. Her hands are out in front of her and she slowly turns them over. She moves her hand, swoops it around and a tiny spark appears just a few inches from her fingertips. It illuminates her face and Alice can see the slight smile.

“You did it,” Julia says. She makes the spark disappear.

“The power from the mermaid’s tooth wasn’t enough on it’s own, but combined with the spark from the keys... I know it's not quite the power of a god but...”

“Oh, I don't know. Right now it kinda feels like it is. All I want to do is cast. Do you feel like that?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I do.”

Julia looks down at Alice's hand.

“Here.” She reaches for it and their fingers brush together. Alice pulls away.

“It's okay.”

“Alice.”

“It's fine. I can take care of it myself.” She takes a few steps back, just to put a little distance between the two of them.

“Look, Alice. I don't want things to be awkward between us, I just... Please, just let me fix your hand.”

Alice hesitates. She looks down at the burn and then up at Julia. She feels it, the warmth in her chest just from being close to Julia. She nods her head and holds out her hand. Julia's touch is soft. Almost too soft and Alice holds her breath as Julia runs her fingers along her burn. Three taps and Alice's skin blisters. She doesn't feel it, it's like her palm has been aneathetised. Then the blisters fade and the skin gets less and less red until there's just a little white scar.

“There.”

Julia smiles and Alice finds herself wanting to smile back. But she doesn't because Julia is looking at her and she knows she should look away. Their eyes meet. Alice moves forward on instinct and Julia must do the same because suddenly they're close. So very close.

“Julia.”

“I know.”

Their foreheads press together.

“I know you're lonely. I'm lonely, too,” Alice says. All she wants is to kiss her, but her chest is tight and she waits. She waits for Julia to make a move.

“Jules! Alice!”

The sound of Quentin's voice cuts through the room. It echoes around them, sounding almost like a bellow and Julia jumps back. He comes barrelling into the room with a beaming smile on his face.

“You did it. You guys actually did it.” He walks over and throws his arms around Julia. He hugs her tight and she hugs him back. “How did you do it?”

“It wasn't me.” Julia turns her head in the crook of Quentin's shoulder and looks at Alice.

-----

Alice's legs hang over the side of the Muntjac as she stares down at the stars. She watches them twinkle brightly as they float by. She can hear the sounds of the other celebrating: the laughter, the clink of champagne bottles. They're casting any silly spell that comes to mind, just flexing their fingers and Alice can't begrudge them that. It's exactly what she wants to do. But everytime she goes to cast she hesitates, allows her hands to hang in front of her before dropping them into her lap.

An unopened champagne bottle is next to her. Eliot handed it to her about an hour ago along with a weak pat on the shoulder but she doesn't feel like drinking.

Alice sighs.

She grabs the handrail and pulls herself up. She leaves the champagne bottle where it is and looks over at the group. They're sitting in a circle. There's a small ceramic urn in the middle of them. They're holding hands and a puff of purple smoke float up from it. It turns from a circle into a star, then the points break off and turn into five new stars. There's more laughter and even a small cheer from Fen.

Alice smiles momentarily and then it falters.

She's not part of the circle. She wasn't invited to be and suddenly she feels very cold. She head below deck and steps into one of the bedrooms. It's the same one she cleaned Julia's wounds in.

Alice wants to believe that it's just a coincidence but she knows it's unlikely. She chose to come here. She feels tired and drops down onto the bed. She places her head in her hands. Her muscles are tight, aching.

After a few minutes the door opens and Julia enters. She closes it behind her and then leans against the frame. Her eyes are closed.

“Julia.”

“Hi.”

“Hi.”

There's silence and Julia lets out a shaky breath.

“You're right. I am lonely.”

Julia's voice is so quiet that for a moment Alice isn't sure that's what she actually heard, but then Julia's eyes open and they stare at each other.

“I have been so cold for so long. I just want to feel warm again,” Julia says.

Alice stands up and they walk towards each other. They meet in the middle. They grasp at each other, Julia's hands in Alice's hair and Alice's hands on Julia's shoulders. Their lips collide and they pour every ounce of sadness and loneliness into each other, replacing it with passion and desire, and want.

They collapse onto the bed.