#just looked it up and apparently it used to obliterate the WHOLE deck AND it used to be easier to summon

[dravidious]

You're quite amazing

Last night I was like "Ah, 8:20 pm, and I've just finished all my Stuff & Things. Perfect timing to go to bed... I'm gonna write an essay about an update for a free-to-play game."

Thoughts on the Path of Champions Constellation Update

Part 1: The new progression is good

In the past, I've ranted about how the progression systems in Legends of Runeterra's Path of Champions gradually worsen the improvisational deckbuilding aspects of the game. In summary, as you progress, your starting deck and its associated strategy become stronger and stronger, while the cards you get mid-run stay the same power level. As your starting deck improves, adding cards to your deck goes from helpful to detrimental, ruining the feeling of getting stronger over the course of the run.

A recent update to Runeterra added a new progression system called Constellations, with a variety of new perks. Some just add more items to your starting deck, and each champion has at least 1 new starting power that further emphasizes their default playstyle, both of which further contribute to the problem. However, two notable perks help to alleviate the problems: Star of Discovery and Star of Legends.

These perks both do mostly the same thing: Add items to cards you get mid-run. Star of Discovery adds a certain item to a certain category of card, such as units from a specific region, or spells of a certain mana cost. Star of Legends adds an item to your support champion. The items given by these perks synergizes with the champion's default strategy, which is something I criticized in the past; building a deck of random cards feels less significant if it's always playing the same strategy.

However, these perks are a definite improvement to the improvisational gameplay. Path of Champions isn't a game about improvising a strategy; it's right there in the name, you choose a champion with a specific playstyle. But that model has always been flawed; in the early game with no star powers or starting items, you rely a lot on card rewards, and you might not get the cards needed to actually play your champion's strategy. In the late game with a powered-up deck and star powers boosting your strategy, you're forced to clog your deck with weak cards that don't synergize with your starting tools.

These perks solve the issue beautifully: By powering up the cards you get mid-run and making sure that they synergize with your champion's strategy, you get the best of both worlds, improving your deck over the run while still getting to play the strategy you wanted to. The deckbuilding used to get worse and worse as you progressed, but they've managed to make it so that progressing enough eventually loops back around to making it good again.

Part 2: Everything about this update is a fucking mess

The new champion released in this update, Viego, has a spell in his starting deck called Possession. As one of his level up rewards, it gets the item Nomad's Medallion, which gives -2 cost. One problem: It doesn't fucking work. After getting this reward, playing a run will reveal that Possession still costs its default 5 mana. It just doesn't fucking work. At all. How the fuck did this not get caught in testing?

Possession + Nomad's Medallion is far from the only mistake in this update. Pretty much everything added has some mistake that came with it. For example, they went back and added new rewards to old adventures, but players who had already gotten all the old rewards would be unable to get any of the new ones. The good news is they've fixed this one. The bad news is that this is the only mistake they've fixed so far.

There's a new weekly quest that rewards you for winning 3 weekly adventures. Background: Weekly adventures are randomly generated adventures that give a reward the first time you complete them. They come in sets of 3, and a new set of 3 replaces the old set each week. Problem: The weekly quest refreshes on wednesday, while the weekly adventuers refresh on monday. That means that either A) You have to wait 2 days before doing any of the weekly adventures, B) You have to do all 3 weekly adventures within monday and tuesday, or C) You have to do one or more of the weekly adventures twice, without getting any rewards for the 2nd run.

Viego has another bug, in his 2nd star power. The power says "Whenever an ally with 4+ power dies, reduce the cost of units in hand with 4+ power by 1." The cost reduction actually only applies to units in hand with 5+ power, so either the power has a typo or the programmers messed up. This is especially egregious because Viego has a unit in his starting deck with 4 power, so basic testing should have revealed this bug.

Daily quests now give a "bronze cosmic vault" which gives 5-10 fragments of a random champion, but they didn't add a vault opening animation for this one, so you can't tell what champion you got the fragments for or even whether you got any fragments at all. You DO get the fragments, it just doesn't tell you. Speaking of fragments, they also broke the "upgradable" notification.

Oh lord, the upgradable notification. Background: You upgrade champions by spending fragments of that champion. You also get wild fragments, which can be spent on upgrading any champion. Before, when you had enough champion fragments to upgrade that champion, the champion select button would glow, and the champion you can upgrade will be moved to the top and glowing with the label "upgradable". This is very useful, and not annoying at all because there's no reason not to upgrade a champion when you have enough of their fragments to do so. It's not like you can spend their fragments on anything else. Obviously, this doesn't consider wild fragments, because that would be stupid; not only is it likely that you want to save up your wild fragments for a certain champion, but giving an upgradable notification for any champion that you could upgrade with wild fragments would make literally every champion "upgradable" once you have enough, making the notification completely useless.

The upgradable notification now takes wild fragments into account.

This is almost certainly a mistake, and a quirk of the new upgrade purchasing UI that came with the Constellations update. But for all of this, every little messy aspect of this update, you have to ask: How did this happen? How did they fuck this up? How rushed was this update that they couldn't find and fix these issues? What the fuck is happening? Is the dev team working off a budget of $2 and a bag of peanuts?

Part 3: Free-to-play games suck

I was thinking about how I'm definitely never giving this game any money when I thought "Well, what if there was an Unlock Everything button that costed $5? Or even just $1? I'd probably buy that so I could… Wait. What would I do then?" I realized that I've spent so much time playing this game just to Make Progress and Get Things that I don't even know what I'd do if I actually had all the things I wanted. I realized that this game is an evil treadmill of FOMO and daily quests that has no purpose other than to drain as much of my time (and ideally money) away as possible. And I fucking fell for it like a chump.

I have so many games, real games that let me play at my own pace, sitting in my Steam library, yet here I am grinding for hours on this treadmill because I don't want to miss a daily quest. I am going to uninstall this game.

After I clear the "Beat Lissandra with Viego" quest because it has a time limit and gives a big fat diamond vault but AFTER THAT I'M QUITTING FOR REAL I PROMISE!

Epilogue: Ultrakill

Even since long before I bought it, Ultrakill has been a fascinating game to experience. I HATE spending money, so I naturally drift toward free-to-play games, but these games often have grind treadmills meant to tempt you into skipping them with microtransactions. Even some real games with no microtransactions have grindy progression mechanics, such as Monster Hunter and most RPGs. I've mostly grown numb to it and just accepted that this is how games are.

It's not, that's a lie, and Ultrakill is the greatest counterexample of all time.

Being as cheap as Mr. Krabs, I first experienced Ultrakill through its demo. Now, Ultrakill is a game with very little progression; the demo has 2 weapons that cost currency to buy, but they're super cheap, you'll get enough to buy them just by playing through the demo levels. There's no grind. Just 6 levels.

I played those 6 levels so many times. I played them until I P-Ranked them, and then occasionally I would just boot up the demo and play through it all again. I had everything, all 2 unlockable weapons, and even all the non-mechanical stuff; the secrets, the P-Ranks, the bonus challenges. There was NOTHING for me to get, but I kept playing anyway, because the game is fucking fun. I want to play games like that. Games where you run out of things to chase, and still keep playing because the game is fun. Rhythm games are a great example; no stats to level up, no weapons to obtain, just pure gameplay. Racing games are another; I've had a blast playing F-Zero GP Legend, just booting it up every now and then to play a quick Grand Prix.

Even games that have progression can play like this sometimes, like my many, many playthroughs of Tales of the Abyss. And games that have a story mode with a clear endpoint are also appealing. I want games where the progression is finite, where you're expected to reach the end, not just keep grinding for currencies on an endless treadmill. Because the best way to know that you truly love a game is when it runs out of things to give you, but you still keep playing.

Okay essay over I just have a thing to put at the end here because this morning I beat Lissandra on my very first try

Stole her own OP Watcher, and even if I had only killed it instead I think I still would've won lol

Finally uninstalled the game afterward. Goodbye.

[naromoreau]

This is your home

This was written for the pet theme week promoted by @masseffectcreativecircle

Leaving earth had felt like a dagger stabbed directly to her heart. She couldn’t believe they had to leave Anderson behind, almost feeling that she was condemning him to doom by doing so; however she knew the admiral was right, and she trusted his judgment more than she trusted hers.

Seeing the Normandy arrive, her heart had lit with an excitement she hadn’t felt since her house arrest began six months ago. The only moments of bliss, the ones she had shared with her husband. He had proven to be the rock and force that had kept her sane.

Still panting from the previous fight and with a lump in her throat that disguised the feeling of profound hopeless she felt remembering the brief presence of the little child that was no more, she tried not to cry.

She turned to see Kaidan and James, their faces a mix of horror and anguish for the last sight of the evac shuttles being obliterated by the Reapers. The young Lieutenant openly voicing his reject of the path they were supposed to be taking. She didn’t want to be that hard on him, but truth was James thoughts were her owns and in fighting him she was fighting herself, fighting the burning desire to stay.

Her mind was filled with turbulence. Just that morning she was still under house arrest playing the charade for the Alliance Brass and the outer world, and now she was escaping from the Reapers, when she was supposed to be fighting them, tearing them apart. Her head was a mess and the feeling of guilt threatened to consume her. Unbidden, her feet directed her to the only place she could find solace.

Meandering through the CIC she felt like an intruder. This was definitely not the old Normandy.

When she arrived to the cockpit, Joker turned around before she could say anything.

“Janey, oh god, finally” he said exhaling grabbing her hand and pulling her down. Taking his time he held her tight in his arms, an embrace full of love and tenderness.

She didn’t say anything, drinking from the comfort of his closeness and tearing from the burden placed in her heart, the horrible memories of the people crying and screaming when she left still loud in her ears. Seeing her tears he tried to make her smile.    

“It only took the Reapers to force them to release you. If I’d know this before, I would have given them a call” he said smirking pressing his head against hers. She couldn’t help but chuckle and suddenly she was laughing and crying.

“Do you have them on speed dial?” she asked wiping off the tears.

“Just Harbinger but hey, I could have said he could bring friends” he said giving her a soft kiss. He missed all the intimacy they couldn’t have in those six dreadful months. The spousal visits being just not enough for the both of them.

She sighed trying to shake off the feeling that if she was there was just because they needed her, not because she was free of charges. Traynor had already told her that Anderson planned to use the Normandy as his mobile command center. Her reinstating just a charade like her arrest.

“Jeff, what am I doing? I feel like a thief. This wasn’t supposed to be my ship to command anymore. I am an intruder” she said, staring at her feet, while his hands hold hers, giving her subtle kisses on her knuckles.

“What are you talking about?” he said with a confuse look on his face

“This. All this. This forced release and reinstating me in my old position. This wasn’t supposed to be my Normandy anymore, but Anderson’s, and now he had to stay and I’m running away…” she said with a trembling voice

“Hey” he said grabbing her chin between his index and thumb “this is your ship. I am your pilot. And you are Commander Shepard. You were destroying Reapers long before those morons in the Alliance knew they existed and you are the best soldier earth has to offer. You are no intruder, and this is your place. You command, and people will follow you, or have you forgotten how you had under your charm assassins, feral krogans, justicars, and even Cerberus operatives?”

Seeing her still doubting and with cloudy eyes, he stood up making her follow him.

“Come” he said simply.

“Where are we going?” she asked while he held her by the hand, guiding her to the elevator.

“You’ll see in a bit”

When they entered the elevator he took advantage of the situation kissing her deeply, hugging her with a need that hid a hint of desperation. It had been too long without her.

When the doors opened they were in engineering deck.

“Wh-“ she began to question

“Shh. You’ll see” he said, going down the stairs to where Jack’s bunk used to be.

Once they were there he stood in the middle of the room crossing his arms with a grin on his face.

“Jeff, wh-“

In that moment a sudden movement caught her eye, making her head turn.

“Boo!” she screamed with barely contained joy.

He started laughing. He knew how much Shepard loved that hamster.

The small furry animal had already crept under some crates, in an impossible angle to be extracted.

“You knew Boo was here?” she asked smiling

“Well, yeah, during the retrofits I saw him roaming around, but he is too fast for me. I can’t seem to catch him. That or he really doesn’t like me. Jealousy y’know? He knows you love me more” he said grinning.

She was already distracted kneeling on the floor trying to lure him out cooing sweetly, but the evasive animal wouldn’t budge. She focused on move some crates but they were too heavy.  

Joker smiled tenderly looking at her, acting so excited as a little girl. There were so many angles of Commander Shepard people didn’t know and he felt blessed to be able to see her like this. Human. Vulnerable. More than a soldier.

In a flash Boo bolted running to the other side of the room.

“Boo! Come here boy!” She yelled trying to catch him “Jeff, grab him!”

“Oh no, I’m not breaking my spine for your space hamster” he said laughing “You are on your own”

“For better or for worse remember?” she stated kneeling on the other end of the room

“I think jumping to the Reaper war covers pretty much that sweetheart” he said still standing looking at her. This was working just as he expected. Her expression had changed drastically in just minutes.

In that moment Shepard let out an excited little scream.

“Got you muffin!” she exclaimed holding the hamster in her hands. “Isn’t he the cutest ting you’ve ever seen?”

“Ehm, no” he said smirking.

“Ugh, you are impossible” she said caressing the animal’s soft fur “Poor baby, who fed you when I wasn’t around?”

“Guilty of charges” Joker said raising his hand “I mean, he is the closest thing to a kid we have”

“Oh Jeff, thank you so much!” she said kissing him softly, touching his beard with her hand. “But why didn’t he escape after being freed?” she said looking at the little hamster, that by that time was apparently sleeping soundly in her hand.

“Because this is his home” he said placing his hand beneath hers, both of them supporting Boo “As is yours. It doesn’t matter things look different, fur ball knows it’s the same. This is your home right here, with Boo and with me”

They stayed there, gazing tenderly at the caramel little rodent as if they were living peaceful times. As long as they were together, she felt whole enough to face anything that could come.

[theatrocityarchive]

Ninoir Week - Day 1: Gay Chicken

I still have a migraine but fuck it. (The first one is two, I cheated. Also I firmly believe Nino calls his parents māmā and bābā. Also also, it kind of turned into a reveal fic? I know reveal is a prompt later this week but I guess you’re getting something different that day? Also also also: it’s an ass day, I guess? Or Nino is definitely an ass man, either way.) 

Title: Five Times Nino and Chat Noir Played Gay Chicken (And One Time They Were Just Gay) Summary: When it started was still up for debate. (In which Nino flirts with a superhero, neither Chat or Nino really knows the meaning of Gay Chicken, and Alya is the bane of Nino’s existence in the best of ways.)

One.

When it started was still up for debate.

Marinette insisted it was during an akuma attack she hadn’t even been present for, when Chat Noir had scooped Nino up bridal style to get him out of the way of a cannonball being launched towards him. She claimed she’d heard it on the recording Alya had taken of the whole battle (which Nino was still dubious about), the words from Chat Noir still loud and clear in his own mind.

“Guess I better get some shining armour for next time, my prince.”

Alya, on the other hand, said it was before that, because obviously it was just retaliation.

There was no akuma that time, just the two of them enjoying one of their many dessert dates together by the Seine. It was dark, the sky lit up only by the street lamps, and she’d been needling him for an answer for the better part of an hour.

“It doesn’t matter if you don’t like either of them, I want to know. Who do you think has a better ass? Ladybug or Chat Noir?”

It had been a class wide debate earlier in the day with no clear winner, as both Adrien and Marinette had sat with him comfortably on the fence. But now he was flustered with Alya’s beserker like focus on him, he’d let his guard down with delicious ice cream… So he answered.

“I guess Ladybug’s is great, but Chat Noir in that leather… Yeah, he has the better ass.”

The squeak they heard was nothing compared to the sudden appearance of a startled looking blonde superhero, his pigtailed partner as red as her suit on the lamp post above.

Yeah, Nino’s timing had been bad, but it was all definitely Alya’s fault.

(Adrien refused to answer which he thought was correct and tried to change the subject quickly whenever it was broached.)

Two.

The second major event was a lot more clear cut, for one particular reason.

Chat’s hand was glued to Nino’s ass.

It was genuinely an accident, for what it was worth. Nino had been running up the stairs at the school, trying to get out of the way during a smackdown with the latest akuma to tear up the place (a student in the year above angered about the destruction of their artwork). Chat had summoned his Cataclysm, heading forward to destroy the shrapnel of her broken artwork, when the akuma had caught him off guard. One, two shots of her cement glue, the first obliterated by his powers, and the second catching around his hand and throwing him backwards.

Right into Nino. Or more specifically, his backside.

The two had taken a moment when they realised where, precisely, Chat’s hand was stuck, but to their credit they managed to get to their feet and out of the way, leaving Ladybug to finish the fight by herself. Nino had just been reassured that at least he wasn’t the only one embarrassed by it all. Chat’s face was bright pink, a rather lovely hue if Nino were honest, and he seemed solely focused on getting Nino out of the way and out of trouble. Until…

“Feel free to cop a feel in return. Seems only fair.”

Chat’s voice was shakier than Nino had heard it before, the confidence fake to anyone who heard it, but it was enough to shatter the awkwardness he was feeling. Instead, Nino reached up and stroked the top of the superhero’s head, fingers running over faux leather ears like he was petting a cat.

“Nah. I don’t go in for that until at least the third date. My māmā would kill me.”

“I’ll pick you up on Friday, then. 7 work for you?”

(They were freed not long later, and for some reason, Adrien avoided time alone with Nino for a week.)

Three.

The third major event was, obviously, the date.

At first, Nino had been positive the feline themed hero had been joking, but sure enough, Friday came and there was a tap at his window. It actually took his mother coming in and asking him to check what the noise was for him to notice, due to his headphones, but he did indeed check and there he was.

Chat Noir.

At his window.

With flowers.

“Oh, Mrs Lahiffe!” Chat grinned, giving her an awkward little bow from his perch on his staff. “Sorry to bother you, but I’ve come to pick your son up. He promised me he’d show me the best music store in Paris, and I couldn’t resist that offer.”

News just in: Chat Noir was both a dirty liar, and a horrible one.

The fact his mother allowed him to leave with the superhero (and took the flowers with a look of utter glee) only served to make the whole thing more embarrassing. To try and save some kind of dignity, Nino opted to take the stairs out through the front door, rather than hitch a lift out his window as Chat seemed to want.

(The look on his face was definitely not heart breaking, and Nino did manage to resist. Damn cat.)

The date, as it turned out, was a picnic on one of the many rooftops in Paris. It wasn’t a huge meal, but having spent as much time as he did with Adrien, he recognised a couple of the items in the hamper that were far out of his price range. Maybe someone had donated them to him, or perhaps Chat’s real identity was loaded? He’d have to mention that one to Alya.

The time went by in a blur. Nino mostly remembered laughing at a lot of cheesy jokes, and Chat smiling brighter than the sun. Nino would have been happy just seeing that smile again, any day.

But that had to be it. The joke was over now, Nino was certain, and once Chat dropped him back off, that would be the end of it, right?

(Adrien was quiet the entire time Nino gushed about it the next day.)

Four.

The fourth one was Alya’s fault.

Well, not completely. Alya got kidnapped by (another) akuma, and Nino had no idea where the superhero duo of Paris could possibly be. Adrien and Marinette were locked in a room together which Nino couldn’t get them out of, and he couldn’t just leave one of his best friends to the mercy of an angry fan of her blog.

He dashed through the building, following the faint shrieks of Alya’s former fan, shouting how her detective work wasn’t thorough enough, how she wasn’t updating enough, how could she not see that Ladybug and Chat belonged together.

(Maybe it wasn’t Alya’s fault. If he hadn’t told her about the date, she never would have written that speculation article about Chat’s sexuality.)

It wasn’t long before Nino found himself on the top floor of the department store they were in, staring across the room at Alya, being smothered in photographs ripped from her blog. He did the only thing he could - grabbed the nearest item and started charging at the akuma, ready to deck her over the head, hoping to stun her and rescue Alya.

A hand grabbed his arm and pulled him back before he could even shout, a blur of red charging past him instead.

He looked back to find Chat Noir, eyebrows creased in concern as he shook his head.

“Nino, you need to get out of here. We’ve got this.”

He couldn’t help but breathe a sigh of relief, even as more panic overwhelmed him. Yes, they’d rescue Alya, he was sure of it, but what about- “Adrien? Marinette? They’re trapped downstairs, I don’t know if there’s an air vent or-”

Chat’s eyes left his face for a moment, looking over to where Ladybug was already liberating her (apparent) favourite reporter, and he looked back at Nino.

“They’re safe. I promise. Just get yourself out of here and we’ll make sure they all come back to you, safe and sound.”

The kiss pressed to his cheek at that was soft, tentative, almost afraid - words he’d never associated with Chat Noir before - and then the warm presence of the blonde’s body was gone, staff swinging above his head as he went to help his Lady. Nino’s cheek, however, continued to burn as he jogged down the fire escape.

(Sure enough, Alya, Adrien and Marinette were returned to him shortly, unscathed. Adrien and Marinette became closer after that day, but his best friend refused to admit what happened in the closet. Nino wasn’t upset about it. Not at all.)

Five.

The fifth event was an accident.

It seemed like Nino couldn’t catch a break lately. Since the flirting started, the DJ seemed to be running into more and more of the akumas than he wanted or intended. On the one hand, it was nice. It meant seeing more of Chat Noir, of the fond looks and concerned glances the hero would send his way. They’d had two more ‘dates’ since then, much to Nino’s surprise, getting closer without either of them doing more than joking about their apparent ‘bromance’.

Except Nino was beginning to get nervous about it all, because he didn’t want it to be a joke.

None of that mattered right now, though. The storming akuma had thrown Chat clear across a few buildings, crashing into the middle of a road and leaving him dazed. Nino had been present to see him use his Cataclysm and even as he ran up to him, he could hear the beeping he already knew meant his transformation was running out.

“Chat!” he shouted, sliding to his knees and not caring about the grazing to his knees or the rip in his jeans. Even though a groan was all he got in reply, Nino helped his hero (and when had he started thinking of Chat as his?) get to his feet and pulled him into the cover of a nearby alleyway.

He’d heard two more beeps in the time it took to get Chat on his feet and moving.

The blonde looked down at the ring on his finger and back up at Nino, a soft laugh escaping his lips.

“I guess I was going to tell you at some point anyway. It’d make dating a lot easier.”

Chat leaned forward and pressed his lips to Nino’s. Nino didn’t pull away, eyes closing just as a flash of green surrounded them, fingers moving up to grip softer material than he expected. Lips moved against his own and he knew, in his heart of hearts, that he was absolutely, utterly doomed now.

He pulled back, eyes fluttering back open.

(Adrien staring back at him was the best thing he could ever have asked for.)

Plus One.

“So, are we crashing at my place or is your pops gonna let me hang out at yours tonight?”

“You really think my father is going to let you over now that we’re dating? He didn’t like you when we were just friends.”

“Yeah, but before that, I didn’t know you could carry me into your room with your super cat powers.”

“Plagg would never go for it. It’s abusing my powers and not in ways he approves of.”

“What if I buy him like, three wheels of Camembert?”

“This one’s a keeper, kid.”

(Adrien did, in fact, keep Nino, much to both their delight.)

[myaekingheart]

77. Breach in Konoha

               “Did you bring him?” a deep voice asked, stoic and sharp. There was something so strange about his eyes, so unnerving. Deidara never expected the rinnegan to make him so anxious.

               “Of course” he sighed, and his partner Sasori manifested their finding: a dead Iwagakure miner.

               “And the antidote?” Pain asked.

               Deidara rolled his eyes and pulled a small sack out of his pocket. “Do you really have that little faith in us? We did exactly as you asked: had the man lead us to the stuff, took it for ourselves, and then killed him. It’s not that hard to understand.”

               Sasori rolled his eyes, unsure of how much more of this kid he could take. “What is the next step?” he then asked Pain. A strange look crossed his face before he mapped out the rest of their plan.

~o~

               Nobody knew how the information got out. Come morning, the archives had been busted and the guards had all bled out on the floor. Security footage was inconclusive—the thief had dismantled the cameras before they broke inside. And now here Rei was, crouching on a tree branch in the middle of the woods not even sure what she was looking for. She glanced to the left and then the right, Yugao on one side of her and Mikazuki on the other, and a shiver ran down her spine.

               With Mikazuki’s dojutsu, she realistically didn’t need anyone to accompany her but this time, Rei knew more than anything that she was merely a bodyguard. Mikazuki’s mere existence put her in danger. Sending her out onto the front lines had to be suicide, but apparently her capabilities far outweighed the risks.

               The stolen information, as Rei had learned at that morning’s briefing, was a scroll detailing the intricate machinations of the shinkantazagan, the Zazan clan’s special dojutsu. As Ibiki gave further details, Rei’s entire body went clammy. She glanced to Mikazuki at the other end of the room, searching for a hint of panic in her face, but found none.

               “Doesn’t that scare you?” Rei had asked later as she and the other shinobi filed out of the briefing room.

               Mikazuki stared straight ahead, forcing composure. “No” she replied stoically. “And even if it did, I cannot let fear get the best of me.” Her voice was soft per usual but there was a certain detachment in he tone that piqued Rei’s curiosity.

               “But what if they succeed? What if they kidnap you and gauge that eyeball right out of your forehead? Leave you for dead in the woods?” Rei asked.

               Mikazuki’s left eye twitched as she paused then, creating a blockage in traffic in front of the doorway. She looked at Rei somberly, all three eyes staring straight into her soul. “I appreciate your concern, Rei. Really, I do. But none of that is going to make a difference. My family is depending on me to protect them. I knew something like this was bound to happen sooner or later, and now I have to step up and prove that I’m capable of keeping them safe, even if it means sacrificing myself. I may not be very strong, but I would risk everything for my clan.”

               Her conviction was truly admirable and had actually left Rei speechless. Now, merely six feet away from her, Rei wondered if her resolve still held fast. At any moment, they could be apprehended by the enemy. Was she not scared? And if not the enemy, then Mikazuki would her own downfall. The shinkantazagan was powerful but with great power always come great chakra exhaustion. Her eyes had been working overtime since they departed from the village. If she was to pass out, she would be left vulnerable. Rei and Yugao would have to swoop in and save her, protecting deadweight from swift shinobi hellbent on kidnapping.

               While the entire situation made her uncomfortable, however, the thing that bothered Rei the most was that she had no idea who she was even supposed to look out for. How was she to know a merchant from a malefactor? Anyone could commit crimes if they were stealthy enough.

               Her first instinct was Tanjo, the woman who didn’t know she was pregnant. Despite much pushback from the elders, ultimately Tsunade granted her and her child Konoha citizenship. Rei always thought that was a risky move. A woman sent to attack the village should never have been allowed to stay there, or at least that was what she thought. It was just begging for a terrorist attack. Especially in light of recent events, you could never be too careful. The more Rei considered this option, however, the more ridiculous it seemed to be. Tanjo was the mother of an infant, needy and crying. She could probably barely even keep her eyes open let alone stage an attack on the village that took her refuge. There was something intrinsically hard to hate about Tanjo, anyway. Not that Rei knew her very well, if at all, so perhaps her intuition was wrong but still. Tanjo was evidently young—merely 18 by her ninja registration—and her bastard son the product of some unsavory contact. How she managed to look at her child without a hint of disgust or depression was beyond Rei’s comprehension. That compassion alone was enough to make Rei think twice about blaming her.

               All Rei knew for certain was that whoever the culprit was had to be a formidable enemy. She gripped the fabric of her pant leg and exhaled sharply, a nagging in the pit of her chest. Perhaps she was just overthinking things, panicked and paranoid, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that she would face their enemy very soon. A pair of foreign eyes burned holes into her back. She glanced to Yugao and Mikazuki, wondering if they felt it, too, or if she truly was just hallucinating.

               A few beats of charged silence had passed before Rei finally opened her mouth to ask but before any words could pass, a cataclysmic rumble shook the earth. Smoke enveloped the wood, a deafening roar ringing in Rei’s ears as she struggled to keep her balance upon the tree branch. The explosion, she estimated, was roughly two miles away. Rei squinted ahead and coughed into the crook of her elbow, scanning the site for any enemies taking advantage of the limited visibility. And then a hand reached out and gripped her forearm tightly, tugging her toward the blast site. Rei’s eyes stung, her vision blurring, as she struggled to break free. The harder she fought, however, the stronger the hold grew. This is it, Rei thought. This is how I die. And deep down, she didn’t even understand what it was they wanted with her, anyways. She was nothing special. The only logical reason they would have for taking her would be to torture her for information. The thought of spikes and blades and horrifying genjutsu sent her forearms stinging. As the smoke began to clear, Rei blinked away burning tears as her captor began to take form. Dark hair, pale skin, an ANBU vest—Mikazuki. Relief. She said nothing as she dragged Rei along, Yugao not far ahead.

               The trees had all been obliterated, the ground charred, and there was a distinct chemical smell to the air. Rei broke free of Mikazuki’s grip the minute they landed, feeling suddenly very small and inferior and thus frustrated. She never expected herself to feel less than compared to Mikazuki of all people, which only further enforced the realization that she had always thought of herself as better than her and she wasn’t sure which thought made her sicker.

               Yugao knelt down and inspected the ash, the dirt, the debris, searching for any clues of the enemy. As she did so, a trembling in the bushes captured Rei’s attention and she immediately, instinctively reached for her kunai. So they had been followed after all.

               “Male. 5 foot 7 inches, 135 pounds, roughly 22 years old” Mikazuki muttered under her breath. Rei shot her a cold side glance. Of course she had already seen him.

               “He’s after you, you know” Rei whispered back, turning her gaze again to the hidden man. Mikazuki gave a single nod, and Rei suddenly felt incredibly stupid. Of course she already knew that, too. That was the whole reason they were out here to begin with. Sucking in a sharp breath, Rei muttered under her breath, “So what’s the plan? Immediate attack, or hang back?”

               Yugao hardly looked up as she replied back quietly, “Just act natural. I want to see what he does.”

               With a single nod, Rei slipped the kunai back into its holster and knelt down a few feet away to inspect another patch of dirt. Meanwhile, Mikazuki dropped cross-legged into the center of the blast site and pulled a pack of cards from her pouch. She carefully opened the packaging with her dainty, manicured nails, then drew a handful from the deck.

               Yugao glanced up at her suspiciously, commenting, “I really don’t think now is the time for a game of—”

               “Shh” Rei interrupted. She recognized this routine all too well. They weren’t playing cards but tarot, which somehow Mikazuki had a real penchant for. She’s drawing cards for the enemy, Rei thought to herself. She’s predicting the battle before it even begins.

               Normally, Rei would scoff at anything supernatural like this but MIkazuki was different. Whatever she drew was apparently prophetic gospel. After all, the cards had predicted Naru’s death. She looked out to the east, estimating that they were about five miles away from the site of the incident. A cold and slimy sensation slithered down her back and twisted her stomach into knots. That wasthe trouble with being out in the wild, she supposed. The forest never forgets. She shoved the thoughts back under the garbage piles in her mind and fixed her eyes on Mikazuki’s work, equally pathetic and captivating. To think, they were placing their fate in little pieces of paper.

               From inside the village, the explosion prompted immediate retreat. Shopkeepers locked their doors tight, allowing customers to take refuge in their storage rooms or their homes. Others ushered frightened children inside, whispering reassurances that everything would be okay. There was always something so comforting about the way Konoha reacted in criss, the strong sense of community. With the great unpredictability of destruction, they took every measure to avoid getting caught in the crossfire and would be damned if they risked anyone else falling to that same tragic fate.

               An uneasiness settled into Kakashi’s stomach as he slipped his book back into his pouch. The village blurred around him, manic with the uncertainty of another strike. A bird cawed an all-too-familiar signal overhead and with that, Kakashi rushed to the hokage’s office for further instruction.

               “Kakashi-sensei!” a voice called as he went, weaving through the crowds. Kakashi paused and sighed, recognizing Naruto’s tone immediately. He really didn’t have time for this. “What is it, Naruto?” he sighed, turning on his heel. He and Sakura came racing forward, dodging frantic civilians and crying children alike.

               “What’s going on? Are we under attack or something?” Naruto asked.

               “It’s nothing to worry about” Kakashi replied. “Just get yourselves home.”

               “I saw the explosion” Sakura replied. “I know something’s not right.”

               Sighing, Kakashi placed a hand on each of their shoulders and replied, “I know you want answers, but now is not the time. This is beyond your level, so just go home and keep yourselves safe. That’s an order.”

               Naruto grimaced as he watched Kakashi turn and depart. Kakashi’s answer was, frankly, unacceptable. He wanted an explanation now. Kakashi was already gone, however. There was nothing more he could say.

               The hallway of the administrative building was packed to the brim with every able-bodied jonin in the village. Shizune ducked and weaved through the crowd with a clipboard hugged to her chest, jotting down names in groups. When her eyes landed on Kakashi, however, she yelped and gripped his wrist hard. “Lady Tsunade’s been looking for you!” she shouted, tugging him into the hokage’s office. He barely had a second to protest or ask what was going on before he was shoved toward the hokage desk and face to face with a frazzled and stressed Tsunade.

               Before Mikazuki could properly draw the first tarot, the man leapt out from the bushes with weapons at the ready. He was a steadfast enemy, deflecting every blow with expert precision, but there was something off about him. A dullness in his eyes, perhaps, or an inhuman fluency to his movement. And then, for a moment, she swore she saw…a single thread of chakra.

               “So is that the one?” a voice asked from within the shadows. His partner, crouched beside him within the exoskeleton, nodded once. Mikazuki sat within the chaos, seemingly unaffected—as calm as if she was meditating.

               “Yeah, I’m sure of it” Sasori replied. “That’s our target.”

               Deidara grinned, preparing another wad of explosive clay. “Sasori, my man, they’ll never be able to repay us for this.”

               “I wouldn’t get so cocky, Deidara” Sasori replied, but it was clear by the tone of his voice that he was smirking. “Do you expect us to become legends?”

               “No” Deidara replied. The mouth in his right hand chewed the clay into a shape of a small, unsuspecting bird. “Even better: we’ll be incendiary!”

               Mikazuki’s eyes flashed open and she leapt to her feet, dealing a fatal blow to the thread of chakra connecting Sasori to the dead man. Their opponent fell to the ground, lifeless. On steadfast wing, the clay bird glided down toward them. Rei stared at the man with wide, horrified eyes. Then, with a loud pop, the bird exploded. A thick smoke enveloped the wood and immediately, Rei and Yugao were blinded.

               Rei coughed into the crook of her elbow and squinted through the haze hoping to gain some semblance of what the fuck was going on. Footsteps sounded in the distance, then grunts followed by a scream. The world began to move in slow motion, Rei’s heart rate quickening. She fell to her knees, her head pounding louder and louder, and fumbled in her back pouch for the transmitter. She knew it wouldn’t work, but there were no other options left. At least she could say she tried. She jammed the button frantically, held the receiver to her lips, and choked out a desperate message before a sleepy haze overwhelmed her and everything went black.

               “Kakashi” Tsunade began, rising from her seat and skirting around her desk. “I am putting you in charge of the most important team on this mission. I trust that you can handle the responsibility better than anyone else.”

               “Yes” Kakashi nodded, “So what’s the plan?”

               As Tsunade opened her mouth to speak, however, the transmitter on her desk screeched. From amidst the static came the choppy, frantic message of an ANBU in danger. “We—sitch—tack—send—ASAP!”

               Tsunade cocked a brow before diving toward her desk, stealing a pen and pad of paper to jot down what she thought she heard. Unfortunately, Kakashi already knew exactly what this was: an SOS. And despite the terrible audio quality, he recognized the voice immediately as Rei’s. All the blood drained from his face and his hands felt numb and shaky.

               “Lady Tsunade!” Kakashi shouted, planting his hands firmly on her desk. Tsunade froze, the force of his enthusiasm knocking her inkwell over and spilling black ink all over her paper.

               She looked up at him and saw the crazed look in his eyes, the face of a man hellbent on protecting his beloved. She blinked a few times before finally announcing, “Okay, you and your team will go into the woods to track down this ANBU black ops squad and bring them home safe by whatever means necessary.” She had barely finished he sentence by the time Kakashi raced out of the office and toward the woods.

               Deep within the forest, an endless symphony of slaps and sighs echoed down the tunnel of a dimly lit cave. Mikazuki glared up at her captors, her face raw and bruised. She spit blood onto the floor, an instigation, as she locked eyes with Sasori. “Y-you can beat me…all you want” she gasped, “But th-the only way you’re ever going to get these eyes is…is if you pry them f-from my dead, lifeless skull.”

               Sasori chuckled, inching nearer, a beast of a body. His puppet face was mere inches from hers as he said to Deidara “She’s much tougher than I expected. I guess we’ll just have to up our game.”

               Mikazuki sucked in a sharp breath, refusing to take her eyes off her opponent. Voice hoarse, she replied harshly, “Try me. I-I refuse to back down.”

               When Rei blinked awake, the smoke had begun to slowly clear out. Her throat ached with every swallow and her body felt limp and numb. Where was she? What was going on? She couldn’t remember. She squinted ahead as a pair of blurry figures raced toward her and was immediately overcome with a sinking feeling in her gut. She strained for a kunai at her thigh but her fingers refused to cooperate. All her strength had officially been sapped. “St-stay away!” she croaked, digging her nails into the dirt, but the figures continued nearer.

               It wasn’t until he was merely a foot away from her when Rei recognized the face of her approacher. He crouched down with emphatic tears streaming down his face. “For a second, I thought you were a goner!” Might Guy exclaimed.

               Just perfect. Rei spluttered into the ground as she forced herself to sit up, her lungs aching for more air. “W-what’s going on?” she asked. “What are you doing here?”

               “Lady Tsunade overheard your distress call and sent four teams of three out to find you and retrieve that scroll, which wasn’t easy considering what’s happened to the radio signals” Guy explained.

               Rei pursed her lips and nodded slowly, her memory of the current circumstance slowly returning. “Well, they must not be totally fucked if something got through” she said. She sighed upward to huff her bangs out of her face, her forehead dewy with sweat.

               Guy nodded, then grinned and exclaimed, “You know, Kakashi is going to be so thrilled to know you’re okay.” The mere mention of his name sent Rei’s anxiety peaking. She was almost grateful that he hadn’t been the one to find her. Guy was certainly not an ideal choice, but she could not stand to face Kakashi. Not right now. She couldn’t accurately predict what she would do if she had been face to face with him in that very moment. The thought of it alone made her woozy.

               “As okay as I can be” Rei muttered under her breath. She couldn’t perceive any surface damage so far, but that didn’t mean she had made it out completely unscathed. There was something definitely wrong with her, she could feel it in the way her body felt disconnected from her brain.

               Guy chuckled under his breath as he hoisted her up to her feet in one swift motion. “Let’s get you back to the village” he said, letting her lean on him for support. She would’ve complied, too, if not for one sudden, nagging realization.

               “W-wait a minute! Guy!” she exclaimed, suddenly frantic. Her mind went from sluggish to racing, as if she had been dunked in ice cold water. “We can’t go back! N-not yet! What about Mikazuki? And--?”

               “I wouldn’t worry about her” Guy replied, and the certainty of his voice almost scared her. What did he mean don’t worry about her? What did he know that she didn’t? Panic set in and if she had the strength, she would’ve shoved him away from her and demanded answers. Fortunately, Guy was not one to brood. She followed his line of sight to the edge of the clearing where the trees thickened considerably. “Sekkachi is on her way to find her now, and I have confidence she’ll bring her back unharmed!”

               The thought of Sekkachi on a rescue mission was almost laughable. Wasn’t it she who had said that the smartest people know the only effort worth expending is on yourself? It just didn’t seem to add up. But Rei was also far too exhausted to worry herself sick. Guy’s unwavering confidence spoke volumes. She would just have to trust him. “And what about Yugao?” she asked.

               “Kurenai and found her a little farther west and is taking her back to the village now” Guy explained. Then, looking her dead in the eyes, he added, “This is bigger than just you now, Rei. You’ve done enough.”

               Rei tried to accept his statement—logically she knew she couldn’t go any further, but deep down she hated admitting defeat. She couldn’t handle this on her own. Things were out of her control now. Sighing, she settled into Guy’s embrace and let him escort her back to the village. As they went, however, she glanced back over her shoulder and thought of Mikazuki. Her life was on the line; for all Rei knew, they could’ve already stolen her eyes and left her for dead. And meanwhile Rei had wasted her time feeling so selfish and petty. There was no logical reason for her to have thought the things she had about her. And now this was Sekkachi’s responsibility. Rei’s eyes skated down to the tarot cards scattered across the burnt ground. They were all face down except one, situated upright from the direction of the thickening forest: the ace of cups.

               The woods were dark this far from the village, the thick branches overhead blocking out much of the sunlight. Sekkachi wasn’t even really sure why she was doing this. It wasn’t like she knew Mikazuki very well. It didn’t feel like her responsibility to save her. And yet her body seemed to move on it’s own accord, just accept the assignment she had been given with zero protests. She had caught sight of the enemy, a man in an Akatsuki robe, just as he disappeared with a strange casing strapped to his shell of a back—undoubtedly Mikazuki. He moved so fast, and Sekkachi was already so winded, he was out of sight in an instant. Her only choice now was to rely on her sense of sound, attuned to even the slightest snapping of a twig or footfall upon a branch. And now, amid the darkness, her instinct drew her nearer and nearer toward the hideout.

               She drew a prepatory kunai as she reached the mouth of the cave, faint grunts and slaps echoing from inside. “Heh, just my luck” Sekkachi muttered to herself, sneaking inside, “By the time I get in there, I’ll be five seconds too late. She’ll be totally blinded and probably already dead, and hey! I bet they’ll kill me, too. Awesome. I totally woke up this morning wanting to die.” Despite the sarcasm in her tone, she refused to admit that there may have been an ounce of truth in her comment.

               Sekkachi slinked along the cave’s wall until she reached the mouth of the chamber. Inside stood at least two members of the Akatsuki in flickering firelight. On the ground, Mikazuki whimpered and squirmed but it was no use. She was bound and likely poisoned, far too weak to escape on her own now. The sight of her so small and pathetic stirred something in the pit of Sekkachi’s stomach. She pressed her hand to her belly and sucked in a deep beath, reminding herself that time was of the essence. If she didn’t move fast, Mikazuki was going to die.

               While she did not consider herself the smartest kunoichi in the world, every so often Sekkachi did, in fact, have rare moments of pure mental genius and this turned out to be one of them. She launched her kunai at one of the Akatsuki members, deliberately missing the target, to simply distract them. With fists clenched, they gazed around the cave with narrowed eyes and full alert. The blonde one reached inside of his pocket and formed a clay something in his hands and, like Sekkachi had hoped, certainly turned out to be a “shoot first, ask later” type. As he melded together his little creation, Sekakchi bolted out from her cover. It was a risky move but she had to have faith in her plan. And if she died? Oh well. Deidara launched his bomb toward her, the clay exploding and sending the entire chamber up in smoke. Perfect. While their vision was obstructed, Sekkachi lunged forward and scooped Mikazuki up onto her back, then felt her way toward the exit. She knew the Akatsuki were far from stupid, that they would likely tail her in a matter of minutes, but the very least she could do was try.

               Once out in the open air, Sekkachi bolted back toward Konoha powered by nothing but sheer will. Her vision blurred and her throat burned, not to mention the creaking in her intestines, but none of that was important. She felt Mikazuki, half conscious, shift on her back, a soft little sigh, a puff of warm breath against her shoulder. Her hands bound and looped down bobbing against her chest. Her thighs against her hips. Sekkachi had always been so indifferent to this girl before, and yet now she was imbued with the strangest instinct to protect her. She seemed so innocent, so docile, regardless of the tremendous power she wielded. Sekkachi willed her stomach to shut up and prayed her body would not give out before she could make it back to Konoha. The sooner she could get away from Mikazuki and this gut-wrenching feeling, the better.  

               “Dammit!” Deidara shouted, coughing as he waved the smoke away from his face. Sasori grimaced at him, an expression of pure disappointment.

               “Deidara, you need to watch your temper” he replied.

               Deidara glared at his partner, clenching his jaw, before shouting back, “We can still go after them! They couldn’t have gone that far.” It was an obvious idea—that girl couldn’t possibly be a match for them—but before they could put this plan into action, they were summoned by the rest of the Akatsuki.

               “They know” Sasori crooned, smirking at Deidara. “You’re going to get an earful when they find out it was your fault.”

               “You know what?!” Deidara shouted, raising his arms in surrender. Grumbling, he seated himself and tuned into the most recent meeting. In a strange conglomeration of holographic togetherness, the whole of the Akatsuki virtually stood before one another.

               “Sasori, Deidara…” a deep voice began, and Deidara was positive they were going to be punished.

               “It wasn’t my fault!” he erupted, “There was an unforeseen intruder, I had to attack!”

               “Deidara” Sasori sighed, “Your lack of self control is almost depressing.”

               The deep-voiced man, Pain, paused a moment. “So you failed in acquiring the shinkantazagan?”

               After a beat of silence, Sasori replied, “Unfortunately. We would have succeeded if a certain someone had not let the girl get away.” Deidara grimaced and secretly stuck his tongue out at his partner.

               Pain sighed and shook his head, then said rather unexpectedly, “No matter. We can manage without it. I want you both to come back to Iwagakure and reunite with myself and Konan.”

               “So…wait a minute, you’re not mad at us?” Deidara asked. He tried to hide the relief in his tone.

               “No” Pain replied. “It seems catching the jinchuriki might be simpler than we thought. Konan has already captured the Five Tails. The shinkantazagan is no longer of great importance to us.”

               “That’s a relief” Deidara muttered under his breath. He wasn’t sure how he had gotten so lucky but wasn’t about to question fate. If it was a mistake, there was no reason to call Pain out on it at the risk of losing his life. As the meeting came to a close, a cocky smile touched Deidara’s lips.

               “Don’t even start” Sasori spoke, and together they raced off back to the Hidden Stone Village.

               The blast site was barren by the time Kakashi and his team arrived. The only sign of life left was in the corpse of the man Sasori had used as his puppet. The sight of it all sent Kakashi reeling. He inspected the tarot cards scattered across the ground, though he of course had no real idea what any of them meant. That ace of cups felt like a bad omen, though. He couldn’t stop staring at it, the image taunting him and churning his stomach.  

               “Hey!” Asuma called, holding his transmitter up to his ear. “I think I’m getting something.”

               Kakashi turned and looked at his comrade quizzically, awaiting more information. His heart leapt into his throat at the thought of the potential message regarding Rei. He needed to know she was safe, but then again no news was good news, right? If there was information about her, it likely was not going to be good.

               “Asuma? A—ma are y—ere?” a voice called—undboutely Kurenai.

               “You’re breaking up a little bit, but I can hear you” Asuma replied. “What’s going on? Where are you?”

               “I’m back in the Leaf Village” she replied. “Strict orders from Lady Tsunade. She wants you back as soon as possible.” Kakashi’s heart pounded.

               “Alright” Asuma replied, scratching his cheek. “We’ll start heading back now. Is the village alright? You guys aren’t in any danger?”

               “No, so far we’re fine” Kurenai replied. “But Lady Tsunade wants to put the whole village on a lockdown before things get worse. Just make it back as quick as you can, and stay safe.”

               “Will do” Asuma said. And then the transmission cut. He looked to Kakashi and the other man in their group, someone they weren’t as familiar with, before speaking. “I guess that means we ought to head out.”

               “No!” Kakashi suddenly exclaimed. When his comrades eyed him suspiciously, his face turned red as he added, “I mean, we can’t go. Not yet. What about Rei? And the rest of the ANBU black ops squad? She—I mean, they—have to still be out here somewhere. I refuse to leave her behind.”

               Asuma stared back at him for a long moment, leaving Kakashi feeling particularly vulnerable and even partially regretting saying anything. Then, finally, he smirked and planted his hands on his hips. “Listen, she’s an ANBU. She’ll be fine. She was trained to handle stuff like this, right?” he said.

               A sinking realization dawned on Kakashi then. He had trained her to handle stuff like this. If she was ill-equipped for crisis, it was his fault. No one else’s. Hadn’t she been a good enough protégé? He hoped so. She had been doing this for five years now. He had to trust that she knew what she was doing, that she could take care of herself. He had to constantly remind himself that she was no longer his to hover over and protect. His job was done. She was an adult. He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck, forced to accept Asuma’s words, before kneeling down and collecting that single tarot card facing upward. He stared at it for a long moment before slipping it into his pouch then following his team back to Konoha.

               Kurenai raced to the front gates just as Guy and Rei returned to Konoha. The look on her face sent Rei spiraling with panic. Something was wrong. Something had to be wrong. She tightened her grip on Guy’s shoulder and exhaled sharply. “I’m glad you two made it back safely” Kurenai said, approaching and then looking between the two of them. “Rei, Lady Tsunade wants you to get to the hospital as quickly as possible for lab testing.”

               “Lab testing?” Rei asked. “W-why? What for?” Despite her bad habit, the thought of getting stuck with needles and watching her blood fill up little clear tubes made her anxious.

               “Shizune is running toxicology reports on Yugao right now, and insist they do one on you, as well” she explained, “to determine what, exactly, was in that gas that left you all unconscious. I doubt Yugao has a high enough concentration of it in her system, but she should hopefully have enough to yield some results.”

               “Was she okay?” Rei asked.

               Kurenai nodded. “She was a little bruised and banged up, but nothing a few bandages couldn’t fix.”

               “That’s good” Rei replied. “And what about Mikazuki? Has she made it back yet?”  

               Kurenai averted her eyes and replied, “No, unfortunately not.”

               Dammit. Rei’s entire body flared up in a panic at the thought. Before she could even voice her anxiety, Sekkachi burst through the front gates of the village with Mikazuki in tow. Sekkachi’s face had grown pale and clammy and for a moment, Rei feared her comrade was going to throw up right there. Rei’s heart pounded. “A-are you guys okay?” she asked.

               Sekkachi forced a mock smile and gave Rei a thumbs-up, letting Mikazuki down gently upon the ground. “I think I might have internal bleeding but other than that, just peachy!” she shouted. She collapsed onto the ground and smoothed her bangs back out of her face, glistening with sweat.

               “Don’t be such a drama queen” Rei rolled her eyes and then turned to Izumo and Kotetsu at the gate, calling angrily to them, “Don’t just stand there! Get a medic ninja!” The two men paused, stock still, before scrambling to obey her orders. Rei hated how satisfying it was to watch them panic at her insistence, the power she held just by occupational affiliation. No one dared to challenge an ANBU.

               While she was down there, Sekkachi presumed she might as well make herself useful. She pulled a kunai from her thigh and tore through the ropes binding Mikazuki’s wrists and ankles together. As she did so, Mikazuki slowly creaked her eyes open to look around, dizzy and disoriented. “W-what’s going on…? Did we…finish the mission?”

               Sekkachi huffed and fell backward onto the ground. Her muscles ached—for someone so petite, Mikazuki had certainly been heavier than she looked (or perhaps it was just Sekkachi’s strength really giving out on her). “Let’s just say you’re definitely done for the day” she commented.

               Just then, a pair of medic ninjas rushed forward with a stretcher to carry Mikazuki back to the hospital. One of them looked down at Sekkachi curiously, perhaps a flicker of inexplicable recognition touching his face as if she looked familiar but he couldn’t put a name to a face. “Do you need medical assistance, as well?” he asked, cocking his brow.

               Sekkachi squinted up at him and released an airy laugh. “No, I’m just going to crawl home like a crab” she fired back, voice dripping in aggressive sarcasm. The medic ninja puffed out his cheeks and looked around, then called for his comrade to go get another stretcher.

               Meanwhile, none other than Naruto came barreling toward them with ferocious purpose. “Guy-sensei!” he shouted, his eyes skating from the bushy-browed ninja to the ANBU leaning on him for support. “Does anyone want to tell me what the hell is going on?!”

               “It’s none of your business, kid. Stay out of it” Rei snapped. For a moment, she was overwhelmingly grateful knowing her identity was concealed by her mask. She could avoid the recognition with the confrontation. For now, she was just another tense, anonymous ANBU.

               Naruto, of course, found this completely unacceptable. Wrinkling his nose, he turned to Guy convinced that he would at least be able to get an answer out of him. “There was a big explosion. You can’t possibly tell me that something isn’t going!”

               Guy rubbed the back of his neck and shook his head. “There’s just been a bit of a security breach is all. It’s nothing for you to worry about, alright?”

               Pouting, Naruto gazed out past the gates and then abruptly asked, “Where’s Kakashi-sensei?” Yet again, Rei was indebted to her anonymity. The mere mention of Kakashi’s name drained all the color from her masked face.

               Kurenai placed a gentle hand on Naruto’s shoulder as she replied, “He was sent out with Asuma and one other. So far Kakashi’s squad is the only one who hasn’t returned yet.”

               That wasn’t reassuring at all. Rei sighed and gulped back the lump rising in her throat, trying to keep all her anxious thoughts at bay. She didn’t want to worry about him like this, but the avalanche in her brain had already been initiated. There was no stopping it now. He’s going to be fine. He’s going to be fine. He’s going to be fine.

               Naruto balled his hands into fists and then started marching toward the gate, announcing, “Then I’m going to go look for him!”

               “Oh, no, you don’t!” Rei said, instinctively reaching out to pull him back by his jacket collar. “You go out there, you’ll get killed. What the hell are you thinking?”

               “I’m thinking that we’re all just standing around here doing nothing!” Naruto shouted back. “Kakashi-sensei could be in trouble! What if he never comes back? We have to go search for him!”

               The temperature gauge on Rei’s tolerance was beginning to reach it’s maximum. “If the ANBU couldn’t handle a mission like this, then what makes you think a genin like you can?” she snapped.

               Naruto growled and fought to break free of Rei’s grip, but it was no use. She had a tight hold on him; he wasn’t going anywhere. “Let me go!” he shouted. “We have to go find Kakashi-sensei! I don’t care if it’s dangerous! I can handle it! I’ll do anything! I’ve gotta go out there and find him!”

               Guy fed Rei a suspicious glance, as if to question her behavior. He knew as well as she did that this was a dangerous situation, that letting Naruto into the fray was too risky, but did she have to be so brash? He was just about to speak up, too, when Kurenai interrupted him.

               She chuckled softly as she watched the two shout back and forth, something kind of comical in the exchange, before motioning toward the entrance of the village. “Well, lucky for you, it looks like you won’t have to.” The whole group froze then and followed her directional to find Kakashi, Asuma, and the other ninja approaching tiredly. The instant they locked eyes, Rei felt herself unravel all over again and the worst part is that she knew this was one reaction her mask couldn’t hide. Or at least not from Kakashi. His cheeks burned red and it took all of his strength not to rush toward her and scoop her up into his arms. She was safe. She was okay. That was the only thing that mattered.

               The reunion was short and professional, if not restrained. With all the dispatched shinobi now returned, Izumo and Kotetsu tugged the village gates closed and locked them tight.

               “I’m glad to see everyone made it back safely” Kakashi said, surveying the group. He tried not to let his gaze linger too long on Rei, who stared straight ahead to minimize how anxiously transparent she felt.

               “Yeah, I’ll say” Asuma grinned, slapping Kakashi on the back and chuckling. He turned his attention to Rei as he pulled a fresh cigarette from his back pouch and lit it. “Kakashi was so worried something bad happened to you, I thought his eyes were going to bug out of his head.”

               Kakashi’s heart paused. If he didn’t know any better, he would’ve slapped Asuma right then and there for being so damn blunt. Kurenai sighed and shook her head, watching Asuma approach Sekkachi and handing her a cigarette as she situated herself on the stretcher. She graciously took it and let Asuma light the end for her, reveling in that first drag as if she had been underwater for far too long and was finally allowed to breathe.

               Rei stood there in silence for a moment, trying to fully comprehend what Asuma had said. She willed her cheeks not to blush. “You were, were you?” she then asked, glancing at Kakashi.

               He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly and replied, “Well, is it so wrong to worry?”

               “No” Rei said, shaking her head. But wasn’t it? No matter what she did, he would always worry about her. It was a fact that she had no choice but to accept. That didn’t mean she was particularly fond of it, though. She still needed to learn how to be self-sufficient. He couldn’t spend his entire life chasing after her, always swooping in to save the day. It was just wasn’t sustainable.

               A long beat of charged silence passed then before Guy nudged Rei on the shoulder and nodded toward the medic ninjas departing. “We should go get you patched up, too” he said.

               Rei chuckled nervously and shook her head. “You know what? Really, I’m fine” she lied.

               Guy narrowed his eyes at her suspiciously before shaking her head. “Nope, I won’t hear of it! Besides, if Lady Tsunade ordered lab work then you can’t possibly refuse!” Before she could protest any further, he had already started carting her down the street alongside the others. As they went, however, Guy glanced hard over his shoulder at Kakashi, as if desperately trying to communicate something. Unfortunately, Kakashi knew exactly what his eternal rival meant: an opportune moment is coming your way, and you better take advantage of it.

               He watched as Kurenai and Asuma chatted casually, slowly making their way back home, and sighed. This was all so complicated. He needed to think long and hard about what he wanted to do. In the meantime, he turned around and headed toward the administrative building to check in with Lady Tsunade. Perhaps some distance would provide him with the necessary clarity, anyway.

               Sekkachi leaned her head back against the headboard and sighed, swirling half-melted ice around in a paper cup. As often as she visited the hospital, she could never get over the bore of being admitted. She poked at the IV in her arm, finding it wildly unnecessary, and was tempted to even pull it out herself when she heard familiar voices echo down the hallway. Minutes later, Tsunade and Shizune passed her room poring over the contents on a clipboard. Kakashi trailed close behind. Just when she thought they were out of range, she turned her attention back to her IV but had not noticed another visitor popping his head through the doorway.

               “Sekkachi!” an over-enthusiastic voice called. Sekkachi startled, nearly flinging the needle across the room, before her grimace met Might Guy’s gaze. He grinned at her and waltzed forward, slapping her hard on the arm. “How are you doing? Are you feeling any better?”

               “I could be worse…” Sekkachi grumbled. This was the way she always was when she was stuck in the hospital, Guy had quickly learned: irritable and tired. He had long since grown accustomed to letting her cynicism roll off his back. As he made himself comfortable on the edge of the bed, however, there was a glimmer of something different in Sekkachi’s eyes. She pouted as she pulled at loose threads on her blanket before asking, “Hey, Guy? Have you, uh, have you heard anything about Mikazuki?”

               Guy cocked a brow, confused yet amused. He hadn’t expected Sekkachi to care that much, but seeing as she apparently did, he had a few suspicions he was itching to pin down. “From what I’ve heard—and it’s not much—is that she’s going to be fine” he replied, trying to remain cool and casual. A look of restrained relief crossed Sekkachi’s face, only furthering Guy’s curiosity. “Say, did something happen between you two in the woods?” he then asked.

               Sekkachi puffed out her cheeks, unable to look him in the eye. Did she really want to explain it all to him? Did she even have the capacity to explain it all? She didn’t really understand it herself. It was too weird. It didn’t make any sense. Maybe it was just the after effects of that poison gas, or lack of sleep, or her stomach. She looked back toward Guy and was reminded that she couldn’t hide anything from him. That he knew all the gritty, complicated details in her life. He gazed back at her expectantly, and her stomach churned.

               Tsunade chewed her bottom lip as she looked at the toxicology reports ten times over. “I just don’t understand” she muttered, walking in tandem with her assistant. “The main component of this chemical compound was banned years ago. The only way anyone could’ve madde this was if they had access to the Josozai Mines in Iwagakure but even then, those have been off-limits for at least the past ten years.”

               Kakashi peered over Shizune’s shoulder at the paperwork, but none of it made a lick of sense to him. Clearly he was in way over his head in this conversation. The only thing he really understood was when she mentioned the Akatsuki, but by that point his attention had been diverted elsewhere. As they ventured down the hallway, they passed a room whose door was slightly ajar. Inside, Rei picked at her scabs an tried not to think about the sanitary paper crinkling beneath her. His heart jolted at the sight of her, and for a moment he felt a compulsion to go and speak to her but then he hesitated. He couldn’t guarantee that he’d be able to restrain himself. He couldn’t guarantee that he wouldn’t wrap her up in his arms and kiss her forehead and beg her to come back to him and make things right. But then a voice in the back of his head (which unfortunately sounded a lot like Guy) spoke to him, reminding him of their history, urging him to step forward and check on her if not as a boyfriend then as just a friend.

               Just a friend. He hated the way that sounded. Things were different now. They weren’t kids anymore. They had been intimate together, saw the most raw and real versions of each other, been inside of one another. They could never go back to being just friends. And yet before he could convince himself not to, Kakashi’s body acted on it’s own accord, a magnet being pulled by the forces of nature toward it’s other half. And then he was inside, and there she was. She looked up at him and her face burned bright red, frozen in the middle of picking apart a scab on her elbow.

               Something rose within her chest at the sight of him, an impulse to rush forward and leap into his arms, bury her face in the crook of his neck, press her lips hard against his. A childish, naïve reaction. She would undoubtedly restrain herself. She had to show some sense of decorum. They were simply two Konoha shinobi and nothing more.

               There were so many things he wanted to say to her, the room felt far too small to hold them all and for a moment he was claustrophobic, choking on air. I’m so glad you’re okay. You look terrible. Stop picking at that or else you’ll scar. How have you been doing? Have you been eating enough? You look like you haven’t slept in weeks. Neither have I. I’m sorry this is so weird. I’m sorry I ever stepped foot in here. I’m sorry for everything that’s happened between us. I love you. The words all converged inside his head into one blurry mass of feeling, clogging his brain and making it hard to think. He felt so displaced standing in the doorway, he even considered making a run for it, but his feet were glued to the ground. There was no turning back. The silence grew heavy. He cleared his throat, and among all the jumble managed to croak out a simple “How, uh…how are you feeling?”

               “Alright…” she murmured, averting her eyes. She couldn’t bring herself to look at him. She didn’t have the strength. A few beats of awkward silence passed before she finally said, “So, uh…what Asuma said earlier…? Were you really…you know?”

               Kakashi’s face reddened as he rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “You were on a pretty dangerous mission” he justified. “I just wanted to make sure you were alright. I, uh…” he continued. He couldn’t believe he was about to say what he did next, but the words were spilling out of his lips before he could stop them. “I still care a lot about you, Rei.”

               Sirens were blaring in the back of her mind. He was still in love with her, she just knew it. But then she felt terrible for the adverse mental reaction. She was such a hypocrite. Wasn’t she, technically, still in love with him, too? But no, this was all wrong. She couldn’t do this anymore. She had to stand firm on her promise to herself. She needed to become independent. She had to admit, however, that deep down her heart was fluttering. Smiling, she added softly, “Thank you for caring so much.”

               A warm, light feeling swelled up inside of him, and deep down something involuntarily screamed there is hope after all. The afternoon sun through the hospital window hit him just right so that if Rei looked at him too long, she’d start to feel dizzy. His fingers itched to intertwine with hers, his lips desperate to kiss her, but he would have to hold back. Voice soft and meaningful, all he could bring himself to say was, “It’s not a problem.”

[incorrectly-quoted-queers]

Arkaven

Chapter 1

He loved waking up to the debris of destroyed starships floating in the vacuum of space. 

Hunks of hull in the morning meant that the SS Sylvanus faced an enemy and obliterated the threat without his eyes opening. Felt safe and satisfying, knowing his ship could save his life silently with the zap of a photon beam. 

And instead of waking up to the ship in panic or on red alert, he just opened his eyes to his metal ceiling, blinked at the shuttle posters on his wall and the Twill music playing from his alarm, and then tossed the spherical noise-maker to get it to shut up. After a few bounces on his desk and walls, it sent itself right back to his bedside, ready for tomorrow. 

In reality, Castor didn’t even notice a space battle happened until he sat all the way up, cuddled into his knees, and saw a lone blast door soar past his window. He leaned his head onto his legs and stared, like they once did as toddlers in the planetarium, stars shooting left and right. 

Castor watched the metal fly by, and wondered if it was anything like birds getting passed by a plane. It should be, at least, according to the old vids he saw in Earth history class. In real life, he’d never even seen a bird. He wasn’t old enough yet for active duty, and the xenozoology department on the Sylvanus didn’t specialize in birds. They preferred aquatic creatures. 

To see one flying in person, he’d have to transfer to the SS Absolus. They had an entire aviary and the best scrambled eggs in the galaxy, according to Commander Ladon. He said he was stationed there when he first started navigating. 

However tempting it was to glide a feather through his fingers, Castor wouldn’t want to leave. He was born on the flagship of the Conjunction’s explorative fleet. Unlike other armadas that stuck together, each ship was sent in a direction with a focus to chart as much space as they could. Between their exploration, unification, and eradication of all harmful diseases and mutations, the Conjunction had been saving the galaxy for centuries. 

And the SS Sylvanus was on the cutting edge of all that.

If he passed his senior tests with high enough grades, he could be stationed here the second he graduated. In a few hours, he’d know the answer. 

Castor shook his head. Not if. When. 

He’d spent his whole life training for this. Failure wasn’t an option. 

As if on cue, his ear started to buzz. Pressing the side of his temple, Castor’s home screen popped up in front of his face with an audiotext message from Tetra. Get your results back?

With a heartbeat or two skipped, he replied, ‘“No, did you?”

Per usual, Tetra answered fast. Also per usual, she answered too fast. N, there to b delay never got sucks major?

Rolling his eyes, he flopped onto his bed, fisting the soft texture of his blanket. As he rubbed it over and over through his fingers, the bubble of annoyance in his chest deflated and he said, “Tetra. Slower.”

Sorry. A pause, a long one. Tetra was being very deliberate. Seems the speed queen had a lot to say. Just as he was about ready to start a solo game of Blockade, his screen pinged. No, I didn’t get mine either. Everyone says there’s a delay and we’re just going to get them at last class. You always seem to get your first so I wanted to ask. It’s been two days. I never got why it takes so long, just let the computer grade us. This sucks major, right?

Castor snorted, considering she knew exactly why it was like this. “Maybe if you hadn’t managed to write that Ace virus into your sheets that tricked the computers into giving us all top marks, this wouldn’t take so long.”

He could practically see her, crossing her arms and huffing at him, her curly hair double the volume of her entire, rail-thin body. Her cat eyes, speckled hands, and long limbs were the perfect, petulant combination of human and Gizian. She had to be sitting in her room, sparkling in brown and gold angst. I was just trying to show they had an obvious flaw in their system and they should adapt to it.

“Yeah, it’s you. And they did. Take the computer out of the equation, and you stop getting chances to break their complex programming.” 

That’s not a productive way to respond to a problem.

Running his hand one last time over his blanket, Castor stood up and started to get dressed. While he loved Tetra and her efficacy ideologies, he told her the truth, “Sure, maybe the first couple times. But that was the 50th. They don’t have time to keep fixing the programs you break. Just be satisfied with the fact you’re getting into the programming division, no questions asked.”

Though he knew she liked arguing to defend the merit of constantly breaking other people’s code, he could hear the smugness in her text. It was nice to get my acceptance letter before taking our exit exams. 

“Perfect then, angst settled.” Pulling on his black uniform jacket, he asked, “Meet me at breakfast?”

You’re buying.

Castor didn’t answer, just grumbled and sent an acknowledgment. If he didn’t know Tetra, he’d be more irritated by the statement. Especially since they didn’t buy their own food, it was just one of the ship-wide cafeterias. But she’d been clinging onto random phrases from ancient Earth romance films since they were children. 

He was just happy she got out of her “it’s not you, it’s me” phase. He couldn’t ask her to grab a glass of water without hearing it. 

Walking out of his room, he hoped to smell dark roasted coffee. He didn’t. More and more these days it felt like his mother was avoiding him. Castor grabbed the habitual note on the counter and stuffed it in his pocket. It didn’t matter if he read it; it said the same thing as all the others. 

So, instead, he strolled out of his quarters, swiped the lock with his fingerprint, and headed down the hallway. Luckily, he and Tetra both lived on deck 32 so they didn’t have to go too far to meet up. 

The second he hit the mess, though, she was already there, sitting at a table, gnawing on some toast with a full plate in front of her. She was smirking like she won something, but comparing the pace of his human legs to hers, half-Gizian, just wasn’t fair. 

Castor grabbed a green apple and joined her. 

Finishing off a concoction of carbs and jelly, Tetra said, “That all?”

“Tetra, I haven’t eaten anything else for breakfast in ten years. Why do you ever expect anything different?”

Very matter-of-factly, she replied, “Because one day you’re going to surprise me. And I need to be prepared for whatever that is.”

He just peered at her, wondering what weird theory her brain had on him. Tetra Deen was a strange young woman, but their friendship was a cornerstone of his existence. Castor normally prided himself on knowing what her mischievous head was up to, but he couldn’t tell today. 

Before he could pry deeper into her enigmatic behavior, the golden flecks in her eyes started to sparkle. Castor frowned. “Andromeda’s behind me, isn’t she?”

Suddenly ignoring her plate of eggs and waffles like they were as real as holograms, Tetra glared at him. “Don’t say her name too loud! She’ll hear you!”

With a chuckle, Castor turned around. Cascading braids and serious expression, Andromeda was sitting with her father, Commander Ladon. He was one of the best navigators in Conjunction history and everyone loved him. But he and his daughter floated above everything, like untouchable celebrities. A lot of the other seniors guessed that Andromeda would go straight to bridge duty, between her grades and her father’s rank. 

It was hard not to fall in love with Andromeda Ladon. She was a very deliberate brand of beauty, like a doll dressed up, perfect and pristine. Castor sometimes wondered what the girl looked like, underneath all her family trimmings. This version of her wasn’t why he thought about that, though. He thought about the Andromeda who he caught stealing his worst essay out of the trash. It was a rush job on constellations; no wonder Miss Jane failed him. But when she had it in her hands? Her eyes smiled for the first time since he met her. 

He still couldn't figure out why and he never stopped thinking about it. 

Shaking his head, he turned back to Tetra, because wondering about Andromeda never really got him anywhere. “Tetra, if Andromeda hasn’t heard us talking about her by now, she’s definitely not going to hear us on our final day of classes. I’m sure she has enough on her mind.”

Tetra scoffed. “I wish she had me on her mind.”

“If you like her so much, why won’t you ask her out?”

“Because she’s Andromeda Ladon, you dolt. I’m going to be a gangly code monkey my whole life, and honestly that sounds like a dream. But that doesn’t make me good enough for our inevitable future captain. If anything ever happened between us, it’d never last.” Tetra looked suspiciously wistful, like mourning a relationship she never had. 

Castor tossed a final glance back at the heir apparent to the SS Sylvanus, cutting her food with unsettling precision. “Well, maybe that’s not who she wants to be.”

“That’s all she’s ever wanted to be, Castor. Have you looked at her marks? Why else would she work that hard?”

Andromeda tucked a braid behind her ear, something so human, but everything about her felt worlds, even species, away. He admitted, “I don’t know.” But he wished he did. 

Careful not to look too long, Castor turned back to Tetra and his apple. Tetra’d been in love with Andromeda since they were children. It wasn’t his place to start making his friend feel threatened or insecure just because he couldn’t stop thinking about her gray eyes that one time. 

They were different then, he could feel it in his bones every time he remembered. But there was no easy way to walk up to a classmate and tell them they looked like a different person while rifling through trash. 

Castor knew he had to let it go. With every bite, he reminded himself. Eventually, he’d get her eyes out of his head. Instead, he needed to focus on the way the apple crunched. That could keep him rooted in the here and now, since when he did pay attention the feeling almost radiated all the way through his ears. 

After blasting out his senses with bites, he looked back up to Tetra. No surprise, she made her whole plate disappear. 

Standing up, he cocked his head. “About time for class. Ready to go?”

She followed suit and was a foot taller than him in seconds. “Normally, no. But since this is our last class ever? I am so ready.”

He tossed the apple core in the composter and didn’t look back. The less time he spent distracted by mysteries like Andromeda Ladon, the better. Especially since, if Tetra’s master plans worked out and her insecurities went away, he’d be the best man at their wedding in ten years. 

Keeping her steps slow to match his pace, Tetra asked, “So, where are you hoping to be placed?”

The question threw Castor off guard. “What are you talking about? You know I want to be a pilot.”

“Of course I know that, but no one gets placed pilot for their first assignment. So where else?”

Snorting, he said, “Anywhere that gets me to pilot?” Tetra looked ready to chuck him out an airlock, so he altered the conversational course. “Probably mechanics, since that means I’ll have a fair shot of repairing the ships and learning even more about their infrastructure. But it doesn’t matter, because I already have half my flying licenses and I’m going to be hopping transfers until I get the job. Most important part is I stay on this ship.”

“Not every day you hear a teenager say they never want to leave home.”

“Shove off, it’s not like that. We’re just already on one of the best ships in the fleet. Why would I want to leave?”

With a roll of her eyes, Tetra conceded. “Fair enough. Maybe the real secret is that you just can’t stand the thought of leaving me.” She patted his head when they got to the door, trotting in like the already-placed, full of herself tech geek she was. “Best of luck!”

Castor followed her in and saw that only a few classmates had made it here before them. When he entered the room, he got a few emotionless glances as everyone went about their business. His desk was near the front of the class, next to Tetra’s and he wasn’t surprised to see a note there, too. Typical. 

Like the one on his kitchen counter, he was pretty sure he knew what that one said, too. 

Sitting down, he opened both, out of exhausted curiosity. Maybe he’d be surprised. 

He wasn’t. 

In the crumpled up note from his desk, it said, Congratulations on cheating the system, Test Tube. 

And his mother’s said, Don’t push yourself too hard. Love you.

Both were abysmal. For unknown reasons his mom never pushed him to do his best, just always gave him these vague notes about not stressing out or keeping himself healthy and calm. If it wasn’t for his own self-motivation, he never would’ve gotten near the top of his class. He’d tried to ask her several times why she didn’t give a damn about his grades, but she always deflected it with love and genuine interest in everything else about him. 

Made it hard to critique when in every other way, she was a perfect mom and he loved her.

But the kids at school were a different problem. Ever since he was born, people were skeptical about his conception. His mother had done an old school genetic material contract with a passing ship’s top engineer to impregnate herself. He was born 9 months later, and they found it odd that the top geneticist of the ship would deliberately go against compatibility tradition and have a baby on her own. 

When he started taking tests, though, his high marks lead to other questions. People started gossiping, thoerizing that the engineer DNA was just a cover up for his mother doing genetic experiments to create the perfect baby. While it wasn’t exactly illegal, it was highly frowned upon. And like rumors do, that info disseminated to their wonderful, bullying children. 

Castor had been called “Test Tube” since he was seven. And if there was one thing he was happy to be over with, it was that. The second he got working, he doubted anyone would be bold enough to keep pulling that crap. 

Especially when there would now be ship-wide HR involved. 

Crumpling up both notes, Castor refused to give a damn about the two reminders of his flawed existence. His life was his to take control of, and his mother nor his classmates could stop him from shooting for his best life. 

He was going to be a pilot of the SS Sylvanus one day, no matter what anyone said. 

Slowly, over the course of five minutes, the rest of his classmates filed in. They were all mostly humans, but like Tetra, there were a few hybrids thrown in. He didn’t know many of their faces well; he didn’t turn back too often to look at people who gave him the nickname “TT” like it was supposed to be endearing. He’d tell Tetra about the new scribble, but not only would it be unnecessary, old news, Tetra was also too distracted playing a game of Blockade on her screen. He could see the 3D puzzle shifting angles as she tried to solve it. 

Castor did get to smile about that, though. He beat that level two days ago. 

It only took a minute or two more for their teacher, a sentient hologram AI, to activate herself and appear. Her smile was wide, and Castor was sure that her attempt at it was genuine, but it always came off a little creepy. Like she was trying just a little too hard and it shimmered a little too bright. “Good morning, class!”

Behind him, there was a cacophonous chorus of various greetings. He went with the classic, “Good morning Miss Jane.” 

Picking up a stack of papers off her desk, she held them tight to her chest. “I have so enjoyed teaching you over the years, but today is the day I send you all off. In my hands are all your Conjunction-issue mission assignment results, which will send some of you all over the galaxy. The proctors have taken into account your preferential requests, your skill strengths, and the ships that need your abilities the most. I hope to see some of you around the ship, but I wish every one of you the best. May we all walk in Conjunction.”

Her smile unwavered and unchanged, to a slightly disturbing degree, and started to pass out their results. He and Tetra were some of the first as she walked down the rows.

With his heart ready to pop a ventricle, Castor stared down at the envelope on his desk. He took a deep breath. This was just a momentous, pivotal moment that would set the tone for the rest of his life. No pressure or anything. 

Ripping open the letter, he skipped past the results of his tests. They didn’t matter, not compared to whatever station he got. As long as he was heading in the right career direction he could’ve failed the tests, for all he cared. 

He didn’t fail them, of course, but still.

Castor’s eyes flicked to the bottom of the page, where it listed his suggested posting. It started with the ship. 

Everything paid off.

In big, block letters was: SS Sylvanus. 

Honestly, past that, the posting didn’t matter too much. But when he looked to the next line, he was even more shocked. It wasn't mechanics or engineering or even custodians. 

According to this piece of paper, he was being given pilot. 

That half-popped ventricle was back to beating out of his chest. 

Leaning into his desk like the nosy person she was, Tetra peered at his paper and said, “Holy shit.”

Before he could even react properly, there was someone else in front of him. “Good work, Castor Knox.” Looking up, his eyes met the far-away, expressionless face of Andromeda Ladon. Her braids fell perfectly on her shoulders and she looked like a hologram fantasy, not a real human. But the second they started looking at each other, the taut muscles of her face softened and fell. If he didn’t know any better, she looked sad. “My father is very impressed with you.”

With her hands behind her back, she turned on her heel and walked away. 

In his hands, Castor had the key to everything he ever wanted. But, and he didn’t know why, he suddenly felt like everything was very, very wrong and there was nothing he could do to stop it. 

Even when Tetra started bragging about how great he was, he just kept on thinking about his mother’s note. Don’t push yourself. 

Glancing around the room, seeing a few faces sour around him when they heard Tetra’s rambling, the pit in his stomach just kept growing. Maybe her notes had a different meaning all along.

///

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Yu-Gi-Oh!: 10 Hilarious Exodia Memes That Will Make You Cry | CBR – CBR – Comic Book Resources

Yu-Gi-Oh! is everyone’s favorite card game and anime series from their childhood. Unlike the Pokemon card game, many people actually knew how to play Yu-Gi-Oh! and didn’t just collect the cards. While the card game was fun, the anime was iconic and very entertaining for its time. Who can forget our spiky-haired protagonist trusting in the heart of the cards and dramatically pulling out the winning card at the last moment? Or even the unforgettable characters of Maximilian Pegasus, Seto Kaiba, and Yugi himself.

RELATED: Yu-Gi-Oh! Most Powerful Cards Ranked

Originally armed with the ancient Exodia, Yugi takes on many challenges throughout the series. Yu-Gi-Oh!‘s legendary cast and plot inspired a myriad of memes throughout the years. Thankfully, Yu-Gi-Oh! memes are making a comeback, so here are 10 hilarious Exodia memes that will make you cry!

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10 Exodia Defends Area 51

With September 20th’s legendary Area 51 raid closely approaching, the raiders are in for a surprise. While the military was a bit scared about Naruto runners in attack mode swiftly dodging their bullets, they shouldn’t have any fear when they release their first line of defense at the front of the raid, a swarm spiky-haired kids with duel disks and Egyptian jewelry.

If these kids are lucky enough to draw all 5 pieces of Exodia, the raiders’ life points will go down faster than Seto Kaiba can yell “impossible!”

9 Exodia’s Military Weapons

Speaking of the military, there is a lot of talk these days about citizens being able to purchase military-grade weapons. In this meme, this person was able to purchase these high-grade assault weapons without even having an ID! This is absolutely unacceptable in today’s political environment.

We can’t have kids getting sent to the shadow realm during their lunch breaks anymore! Enough is enough, protect your children and make sure to phone your local senators to tell them how outraged you are that these dangerous weapons are publicly available!

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8 That Is Some Strong Coffee

Latte art is the cornerstone of small coffee shops everywhere. Usually, customers receive their coffee’s with a nice flower or other cute imagery such as cats in their coffee. Most people get the energy to get through the day through their coffees, but what if you need the strength the propel yourself into attack mode for the rest of the day?

Look no further, for drinking this Exodia latte will give you the strength of one of the most powerful monsters in the game to send any issues you have during the day straight to the shadow realm!

7 Salt Bae Steals Exodia

If you had the most powerful card in the game what would you do with it? Most people would probably carefully protect it from harm, out of fear that some jealous opponent would try to steal it. But not the beloved protagonist Yugi. This genius thought it would be a great idea to lend his only copy of the most powerful cards in the game to some stranger on a boat who looks and talks like a bug. Who could forget the look of horror on Yugi’s face when the insect known as Weevil threw his most precious possession off the boat? Here we have Weevil (Salt Bae) sprinkling Yugi’s precious Exodia cards into the sea.

RELATED: 10 Coolest Yu-Gi-Oh! Monsters

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6 When Your Whole Outfit Is On Point

A lot of people tend to feel bad about their self-image, but sometimes you just have those days when you feel fresh. You perfectly matched your shoes, pants, and shirt together, you just got a new haircut, and you feel good. Every part of your outfit comes together well and nothing can stop you today.

That is probably how Exodia feels when you finally draw the 5th part of him and summon him. Before he obliterates your opponent, he takes one look at the mirror and smiles, because he knows his outfit is perfection.

5 Shaggy The God’s Heart Of The Cards

The overpowered Shaggy memes ran the internet for a few months about a year ago. They were fresh tales of Shaggy’s godlike status and his ability to instill fear and anxiety into any entity he chooses. These stories were frequently told by his coworkers during interviews who had to spend a terrifying amount of time with him. These legends combined with his regular and harmless appearance made for a hilarious meme that lasted many months.

In addition to his supernatural powers, he also is a first-rate duelist who truly understands the heart of the cards. Here a coworker explains that you can’t beat Shaggy in a duel, his inhuman powers allow him to always draw Exodia, even without the pieces in his deck!

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4 No Limitations

Have you ever played poker and felt like your opponent was cheating? You started out with more money and now you are down to your last few chips. Even though you are just playing Texas Hold’em with your usual group of friends, one of them keeps pulling out different cards and screaming “obliterate!” at the top of their lungs.

They keep insisting they won, even though you have a royal flush. To make matters worse, whenever you tell them “you can’t use Yu-Gi-Oh! cards in poker, your friend throws down some cards with pictures of limbs and just keeps screaming “the forbidden one has no limitations!”

RELATED: Yu-Gi-Oh!: 5 Greatest Duels In The Series (& The 5 Worst)

3 Shy Exodia

Apparently even the mighty forbidden one can get shy on a date. Often, when people go on their first dates things can get a bit awkward. Sometimes you and your date don’t get along and things just feel weird, but other times things could go really well and even lead into the bedroom.

But this presents its own problems as well. Your date might be into you but you are a bit shy about what she might find down there. Well, you are not alone in this endeavor, Exodia himself has some small problems of his own.

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2 Speaking To The Manager

Anyone who works in retail or the food industry knows that no matter if you are a sales associate, cook, or manager, some customers can always be a pain. This meme shows that beautiful moment of triumph when a particularly angry customer is giving you problems and asks to speak to the manager.

You slowly turn around and pretend to walk into the back and find someone higher up the chain than you, but then you turn around, unleash your inner Atem and calmly say with a smirk of satisfaction on your face “I AM the manager.” There are very few sensations one can experience at work that can amount to this one.

1 Rick The Forbidden Pickle

Ah, Pickle Rick, the internet sensation that flooded websites and meme groups alike. After Rick initially turned himself into a pickle in season 3 of the cult classic show Rick and Morty, fans everywhere repeated the phrase frantically and put it on T-shirts, hats, poster, and honestly EVERYTHING.

While Rick was trapped in his pickle form, he had to get limbs to help him move around, luckily Rick was able to trust in the heart of the cards and draw the limbs of the forbidden one before it was too late.

NEXT: Yu-Gi-Oh!: 10 Best Duelists In The Series

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2017 Audi A5 Review

Fantastic and satisfying, the 2017 Audi A5 is accessible as an auto, convertible, and vivacious four-entryway. Quattro all-wheel drive is standard for amazing execution in all conditions. The auto and convertible utilize a 220-hp 2.0-liter four-chamber with a six-speed manual; an eight-speed modified is discretionary. The Sport back sports a 2.0-liter turbo four making 252 torque with a seven-speed twofold handle altered. Those scanning for more muscle should truly consider moving to the consistent S5 or Bahn-eating up RS5.

There remain a couple among us who decay to go to the store wearing activity pants or to eat up out in T-shirts and baseball tops. Individuals who brush their hair before observing the doorbell, notwithstanding when they know it’s basically one more vinyl-siding dealer. For such individuals—call them the nattily dressed—cars, for example, the Audi A5 are made.

Fashioner Walter de ‘Silva, an Italian who is difficult to envision wearing athletic shorts to the workplace, once called the 2017 Audi A5 that appeared in 2008 the most great auto he’d made amidst his residency at Audi. He was not by any extend of the creative ability alone in such path for his own particular work, since he was in this manner lifted to head of diagram for the whole Volkswagen Group.

De ‘Silva surrendered last November (supplanted by past Porsche styling manager Michael Mauer) yet not before he had, in all likelihood, at any rate obviously ensured the system for the all-new A5 wanting 2018. It mirrors a not-settling what-ain’t-broke way to deal with oversee styling, maybe a plenitude of thusly, despite the way that it will ride on another stage and utilize fresher drivetrain equipment.

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2017 Audi A5 Black

2017 Audi A5 Inside

2017 Audi A5 Black 1

2017 Audi A5 2.0t Sport

2017 Audi A5 Cabriolet

2017 Audi A5 Coupe

2017 Audi A5 Inside Design and Special Features

Until the going with A5 fulfills the United States in the chief half of 2017, in any case, merchants still have the essential, de ‘Silva-plot A5. It has experienced a few overhauls and updates (LED lights and such), conveyed a convertible that some find altogether all the all the all the more engaging, and now does not have the primary’s V-6 motor, yet your key A5 auto remains a joy eight years after we at first watched it.

It would seem that those coats that the nattily dressed hang in cedar storage rooms for a critical long time since they’ll never leave outline. Audi needs the new one basically the same—yet solely fitted with trendier lapels and unequivocally pulverized wrinkles to address the test postured by the in like way especially orchestrated BMW 4-game-plan and Mercedes-Benz C-class auto. This A5 still will look mind blowing in your carport after the credit is paid off.

The A5 is the range level release, leaving genuine execution targets to the supercharged V-6–powered S5. (The V-8–powered, track-superb RS5 is away until further notice.) Those who can evade more critical power and are basically examining for a ravishing suit on wheels to obliterate for a night will welcome that the A5 begins at $41,425 and can connect with $50,000 or something to that impact.

Notwithstanding, when Audi discloses to us the last creation keep running of this model is at hazard to “constrained accessibility,” we estimate the base costly autos will be scarcest.

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2017 Audi A5 Red

2017 Audi A5 Interior

2017 Audi A5 Convertible

2017 Audi A5 Powertrains and Performance

The Volkswagen Group’s 2.0-liter turbocharged inline-four as utilized as a bit of the A5 has been surveyed at 220 drive since 2014, or nine steeds more than it could gloat in 2010 when it associated as a lower-cost other contrasting option to the underlying 3.2-liter V-6. Straightforwardly the four-chamber is the rule motor in the A5. It mates to either a six-speed manual or an eight-speed tweaked transmission.

We’ve all around revered the manual model, yet for this goodbye street test we had the altered. Make that the “latest” adjusted, since the A5’s past transmission offerings have merged a standard six-speed tweaked (Tiptronic), Audi’s seven-speed twofold handle altered (S tronic), and even the scorned “six-speed” CVT (Multitronic) for a couple of years.

Current turbocharged four-barrels being what they are, this 2.0-liter more than suffices for reliably responsibility and long street trips with a sidekick who likes to get in contact in style. The altered moves as snappy and easily as it does in different Audis, which is to express it’s a grand transmission on the off chance that you should swear off our favored three-pedal setup.

Our tests demonstrate the A5 can get to 60 mph from rest in 6.1 seconds, or 0.1 second snappier than did the 2010 manual release with the in any case, chop down power rating. That time was recorded utilizing the new auto’s composed dispatch control highlight, which is chill on the likelihood that you wind up at a near to drag strip.

Regular drivers are in all likelihood not going to discover much use for it; our 7.5-second “moving begin” 5-to-60-mph time is conclusive of standard driving and is just 0.1 second behind the 241-hp Lexus RC yet trails the BMW 428i xDrive by 1.1 second.

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2017 Audi A5 MSRP

2017 Audi A5 Price

2017 Audi A5 Rear

Still, there’s an impressive measure of torque at low rpm, and the short 30-to-50-mph and 50-to-70-mph passing conditions (just a tenth or two behind the BMW’s) mean drivers will feel without question about this force auto’s capacity to proceed onto a quick interstate or shoot around slower activity on the byways.

Brakes tuned for superhighway duty stay one of the credits that pull in individuals to German-check vehicles, and the A5 absolutely passes on wishes, keeping from 70 mph in just 149 feet and showing essentially slight cloud over rehashed utilize. Grippe Pirelli P Zero tires on 19-inch wheels help, as well.

They besides add to the A5’s phenomenal skidpad figure of 0.95 g (the 2010 dealt with a to some degree chop down 0.91 g). This is reflected in this present reality with simple, even fun, trips around cloverleaf interstate slants and on bowed two-way streets.

Both braking and cornering may be by a wide edge better if Audi by some methods happened than understand how to pare a section of the A5’s 3713 pounds of check weight it’s decently the regard one pays for the security of Quattro all-wheel drive, yet the more present BMW is 33 pounds lighter with everything taken into account wheel-drive shape. Audi says it will utilize more aluminum to shave mass for 2017 yet, as in the new A4 (which got lighter), the four-chamber’s motor piece will even now be heavier solid metal.

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2017 Audi A5 S Line

2017 Audi A5 Sportback

2017 Audi A5 Review

2017 Audi A5

2017 Audi A5 Sedan

2017 Audi A5 TDI

2017 Audi A5 Parts and Options

Uncommon materials flourish inside the lodge where decisions meld bursting junk or walnut trim. The endeavored auto, a Premium Plus model in Suzuka Gray metallic paint ($575), had the piano-dull enhances that run with its S Line Competition Plus bundle ($3250), which in like way brought the heretofore said 19-inch bargains, a diminish main event, a three-talked level base coordinating wheel with move paddles, cleaned diminish outside trim, a back lip spoiler, and entertainment arranges in cowhide with micro suede seating surfaces.

It additionally has different gatekeepers than the base model. In this framework it arrives and no more important reason for the A5 scale, where just the deck lid recognizing evidence recalls that it apparently from the S5, and the $52,400 as-endeavored regard pounds up on the range cost of that all the all the more blasting entertainer.

Supporters to that essential worry in like way melded the $3150 Technology bundle (a 7.0-inch TFT shading screen with course and MMI controller, stopping help with back camera, Audi Side Assist way change help, and Bluetooth) and the $950 Sport bundle (show suspension with 0.8-inch-chop down ride stature, stiffer springs and dampers, and Audi Drive Select Controls). Nearby being down a pile of drive, it also drove much like the delightful S5.

At this cost, you’re no place close bespoke auto fitting. Regardless you’re purchasing off the rack, yet it’s originator stamp garments. Picking this dynamic model would mean settling for less power (the new A5 will utilize the A4’s 252-hp 2.0-liter), a creating design for the liberally trimmed lodge, and no entry to the most recent pushed success degrees of progress.

A large portion of the last parts won’t come standard even on the new auto, regardless, and for the general population who are likely going to keep up a key separation from that segment of the choices list, the 2016 model offers an enormous measure of prizes both as a driving machine and a touch of moving figure. We’d not fight with any individual who picked the BMW or Mercedes choices, yet the 2017 Audi A5 still strikes our eye as a stunning thing to consider.

2017 Audi A5 – It has a head turning style that’s as powerful in motion as it is in standstill, with its sport design and engaging performance, it’s the double threat that can’t help but spark attention and envy too 2017 Audi A5 Review Fantastic and satisfying, the 2017 Audi A5 is accessible as an auto, convertible, and vivacious four-entryway.