#kermit did nothing wrong

[arkaynist]

@the-muppet-joker, Mr. The Frog, I'm unsure why I'm publishing this to my main but I wanted to share with thee the fanfiction made by my friends on Frantic Fanfic involving yourself and Megamind. I had no part in this round but it was agreed upon that I make this wild mess public for your potential enjoyment or horror.

[nope890437]

ok but why does it feel like your gonna get in trouble for walking out of a store without buying anything-

[the-muppet-joker]

I stepped away from Tumblr for two days. You're still in the fucking basement??? Have you been able to eat? Been able to use the restroom??? I don't think this is normal for a landlord to do and I genuinely think she's trying to kill you???

It wasn't so bad. She brought me slop to eat while I was down there, and the Asbestos was relatively sealed off from where I was. We had a lot of good conversations... I understand why she had to lock me in there. When I showed her my smut, it scared her. The intimacy between Kermit and Joker was too familiar of the love she lost when her husband died. She is a complicated and hurting woman. Marsha did nothing wrong. Marsha did nothing wrong.

[magpiepills]

Butterfly

Rating: EXPLICIT 18+ MDNI

Pairing: Joel Miller x f reader

Word count: 1.8k

Summary: Neighbor Joel and his yoga girl neighbor have a little chat.

Warnings: SMUT! f masturbation, PIV, use of sex toys, reader can do yoga, blackmail? infidelity? Perv neighbor? Probably more. Unedited, unbeta’d, unproof-read. I type like that Kermit gif then post it.

A word from the author: idk friends. Here’s a bit more of what’s going on with pervert Joel and his yoga girl neighbor. I’m so grateful and happy that yall are enjoying this. There will be one more part!

Part 1, Part 2

Masterlist

The house had been quiet, with your husband picking up extra shifts and out of the house more, you found ways to occupy yourself. On a nice day, you decided a little yoga in the sun rather than your stuffy bedroom would be just what you needed.

You roll out your mat, open your app to follow along with a vinyasa flow, and close your eyes. You breathe deep, grounding breaths, melting into your stretches.

It felt good, made you feel relaxed and grounded and more in your body than in your head. It made you feel sexy to move your body, the ways you stretched. You promised yourself that this would be your new routine.

On the second day you felt a bit self conscious. You saw the shadowed silhouette in the upstairs window, your neighbor, a single man living alone, and apparently a fan of yoga.

You didn’t look at his window again. If it was a coincidence that he was looking out his window while you stretched and bent you didn’t want to draw attention to yourself. If he was watching you, you didn’t want to know that either. It made you feel nervous and giddy that your hot neighbor might be watching you bending over, spreading your legs, twisting yourself into suggestive poses. It didn’t stop you, though.

So what if he looked, right? You weren’t doing anything wrong, just exercising in your back yard. Nothing untoward or scandalous about that and Joel has never been anything but friendly and polite. If you got a small thrill along with your workout, all the better for everyone.

By the third day you were certain he was watching. He must have thought he was out of sight, down in the bottom corner of the window, but you spotted him, his graying curls, his dark stare that was glued to your every move. The window was empty when you walked the dog, when you got the newspaper from the porch, and when you walked to the mailbox, but as soon as you came out for yoga, there he was, like he knew your schedule and would wait for you.

You dripped into your leggings and added ten minutes to your workout. When you finished, you went inside and showered, taking the handheld shower head and directing the stream to wash over your throbbing clit, giving yourself an orgasm while you moaned his name and imagined him there with you. Your fingers couldn’t reach deep enough, didn’t stretch you the way you were certain that Joel would.

Later that night you’d tried again, pulling up porn with men like Joel; older, sturdy, deep voiced, confident. You edged yourself, pressing your vibrator against your clit, pushing just the tip into your clenching entrance the way you imagined him teasing you until you begged, then pulling away before you could reach your climax. You did it again and again, thinking of his chest and arms and the sweat that darkened his shirt when you’d see him mowing his lawn, and then crying his name into your pillow when you finally let yourself come.

It still wasn’t enough. There was no beard scratching your chest, your neck, your thighs. No hands on your hips, no lips on yours. Instead of satisfying you, it just made you needier, and that need led you to bolder and bolder deeds.

It was the dirtiest secret. Every afternoon you pretended not to see him while you positioned yourself for maximum exposure. Your ass toward his window, back arched, wiggling just so. You pushed your chest forward, nipples hard against the tight Lycra of your thin top.

You carried on, abandoning the illusion of good form to try to tease your voyeur, then went inside and imagined what he’d say when you rode him, or wondered what his shirt smelled like while you clenched around your own inadequate fingers. You considered standing outside and turning on the garden hose, putting on a little wet tshirt contest with you as the sole participant and Joel the lone audience member and judge under the very innocent and reasonable explanation that it was summer in Texas and you needed to cool off.

By day five you were masturbating before and after yoga. You were so amped up every time you spied him

In his spot you thought you might be able to come from just thinking about him. You fucked your husband before he left with your eyes shut tight so you could pretend he was your neighbor.

“What’s gotten into you?” He asked, beaming at you as he lay on the bed, having just been used as an unwitting prop in your sick fantasy. Maybe you’d feel guilty later. For now, you’d just feel cum leaking out of you while you held your knees wide open on your yoga mat and imagined it was Joel’s and that he was watching it trickle from your pussy before scooping it up with two big fingers and pushing it back inside.

If you’ve gone off the deep end you don’t care. Inside of a week you’d turned from friendly neighbor with a harmless crush to shameless trollop whose only thoughts came directly from her pussy. You'd figure out the implications and consequences later.

On day six you pulled out all the stops. You moved slowly and deliberately, making up your own routine of the most suggestive poses you knew. As you modified a butterfly stretch to lift your tits, you found Joel through your eyelashes and you would swear he had licked his lips. It broke something in you.

You feigned the heat was worse than it was, made a show of modesty, checking that you were otherwise alone, and stripped down.

The sunshine and the light breeze felt so good against your bare skin. You explored your body, running your hands over your hips and thighs and belly. You were sticky with sweat, and you felt prickly with all your pent up longing.

You skated your fingertips over your stiff nipples and down to your pulsing, needy cunt. If he was going to watch, you might as well give him something to remember. Maybe he would feel even a fraction of the fiery, desperate frustration you had felt.

You didn’t have a plan. None of this was planned. You slid your middle finger over your folds and spread your wetness over your clit and around your lips, feeling it cool slightly on your skin. You were just playing there, teasing yourself without serious intention, you decided you’d just do what felt good for a while, let Joel have a good long look, then go back in.

You knew he was there. You saw his shadowed silhouette. You hoped he liked what he saw, hoped he was touching himself, hoped he was imagining you on your knees for him. You edged yourself twice, careful not to make a sound above a heavy breath. You stroked your wet pussy, blinked your eyes as you breathed deeply, staving off your release, and let your eyes find his window, empty.

Maybe you were wrong. Maybe you’d let your pathetic, horny housewife delusions get the better of you and maybe you’ve just humiliated yourself.

Immediately you thought of your husband, your other neighbors, your friends, the rumors that would surely spread about the whore of Rancher Street. Panic and regret gripped you so hard you could scarcely breathe.

And then you heard it.

A groan, deep and stifled from the other side of the fence.

Play it cool, you tell yourself. You wrap a handy beach towel around yourself and put on a mask of curiosity and concern when you peek over the fence and find Joel slumped in the dirt. His cheeks are flushed, his cock is out, and he looks exactly like you’ve been feeling.

“Joel, what’s going on? What happened?” You ask, wide-eyed.

He stammers and hurries to cover his body, trying to minimize his embarrassment and the evidence of what he had just done.

“It’s not- it’s not what it looks like,” he says, “I’m just, uh, I’m sorry I just…”

“Just what?” you coo and drop to your knees to peek at him through the fence, “were you watching me, Joel?” You tsk, but flutter your eyelashes, watching with bubbling delight as he flounders, shaking his head, unable to come up with an explanation for why he’s on the ground next to a wide gap in the fence slats with cum on his jeans.

“I didn’t know you were a peeping Tom, Joel.”

It angers him, you calling him a peeping Tom. He stands quickly, then, turning to hastily zip back into his jeans, before stepping close to the fence and peering down at you.

“And I didn’t know you were an exhibitionist who was going to strip naked and touch herself right out in the open where anyone could see!” His voice is deep and hushed, but with a heat that excites you.

“You’re out here every day as soon as your husband leaves just begging for attention. Don’t act innocent now that you got it.”

“Only one watching was you, Joel. You had a front row seat, didn’t you?” you look up at him sweetly, putting both palms against the fence right about where his hips are on the other side.

Joel makes a low, rumbling sound and looks down, gripping the fence tightly. If he were a younger man he’d be hard again at the sight of you on your knees in front of him, fence or not.

“What about your husband? Does Marcus know you’re out here puttin’ on shows?”

You stand slowly and lift up onto your tiptoes, holding onto the fence between Joel’s wide, rough hands, leaving just inches between your faces.

“All he knows is how much hornier I’ve been this week. I had to ride him twice this morning,” you confess, looking right into your neighbor’s dark, searching eyes.

Joel nods softly, “But ya still had to come out here and act up, huh? Ain’t gettin enough?”

You hum in agreement, “you liked watching. Saw you every day.”

Joel hums back, eyes heavy lidded and dark.

“Well, what are we going to do about this?” he asks, and you take a step away from the fence, adjusting your towel.

“I don’t know, Joel. I think we have a problem. Marcus won’t be too happy if he finds out you’ve been prowling around. All I wanted to do was a little yoga in my yard. Maybe you’d better come over and figure out how to explain this.”

You don’t wait for Joel to agree or argue before turning to go back inside, dropping the towel that covered you and folding it over your arm, hips swaying tantalizing as Joel watches you disappear in your house.

[mirrorball-leclerc]

struggling to survive netflix

series masterlist

rhys jones word of advice: DO NOT watch season 6 of drive to survive.

max jones-verstappen you watch that crap?

rhys jones i couldn't sleep, it dropped, so i watched it. worst mistake of my life.

rhys jones i can't believe i was at several races and ryan made it onto the show before me.

esteban ocon oh yes, i forgot about that.

isabella perez someone tell charles they made him out to be the villain.

natalia ruiz just like max in season 1.

charles leclerc i did nothing wrong all season but have shitty luck.

dulce perez monza. charles leclerc i may have done one thing wrong.

rhys jones max went from being the formula 1 villain to being comedic relief.

max jones-verstappen i bet there was no mention of my win streak

isabella perez in the last fifteen minutes but only because christian mentioned it.

charles leclerc can i enter my villain era now?

pierre gasly do you even know what that is? charles leclerc je t'emmerde connard

rowan todd WHITE HORSE?? CONEY ISLAND?? WITH MAE?? ARE YOU TWO TRYING TO KILL US??

daphne jones-ricciardo 😁😁 mae jones-verstappen 😁😁

isabella perez CONEY ISLAND?? YOU SANG CONEY ISLAND?

isabella perez THIS IS FUCKING WORSE THAN LOSING MIRRORBALL!!

max jones-verstappen to be fair i lost seven to fucking pittsburg of all places.

rhys jones jokes on you guys, my song still safe.

daphne jones-ricciardo and what song is that rhys?

rhys jones thug song

daphne jones-ricciardo of fucking course it is.

alex albon crossing my fingers for monologue song next!

george russell charles cried when daphne sang this is me trying as a surprise song. i have a picture of it.

bailey winters one could say you "have it printed out" george russell hilarious bailey. bailey winter this is why lewis decided to leave mercedes, because you're dry as fuck george russell TOO SOON BAILEY!! TOO SOON!!

isabella perez sylvia just got me in trouble. apparently it's not good to speak out against netflix.

dulce perez i think it's more so because you spoke out in favor of a driver from a rival team and not that you spoke put again netflix. natalia ruiz i didn't get in trouble? charles leclerc it was probably the oscar part and not the netflix part isabella perez i got told by fred that it was okay??? just no spilling company secrets.

carlos sainz she probably just doesn't like you.

isabella perez wow.

lando norris to be fair, you are quite annoying. i get it.

dulce perez only i get to call her annoying kermit the frog

lance stroll we should wait until the next season for more drama. that's when it'll be good because of a certain someone breaking f1 twitter.

lewis hamilton talking about me? mick schumacher don't forget the secret contract lengths! esteban ocon and silly season!!

freya vettel i was fully expecting them to make oscar and lando to look like enemies. they've done it before.

isabella perez we should make a drinking game out of dts!! anytime d*nica shows up on screen we take a shot.

zoya torres we'd end up blackout drunk. george russell alternative, take a shot everytime will buxton says something funny. max jones-verstappen or anytime they make teammates who get along look like enemies. mae jones-verstappen you seriously still bitter about the daniel thing? max jones-verstappen YES! WE WERE NEVER ENEMIES!!

esteban ocon netflix doesn't know that friendships and rivalries can exist on the same scale.

rowan todd doesn't help that pierre said, "we'll never be best friends."

rhys jones i'm surprised they haven't brought in the nepotism card yet.

mick schumacher they did.

rhys jones i avoid that episode to not cry and charles' episode in season 1

isabella perez oh, same! we're very emotional people. i also avoid daniel's episode in season 5. and i can't stand otmar.

oscar piastri mood. esteban ocon same. pierre gasly you're lucky you didn't have to work with the guy. lance stroll welcome to the club

sebastian vettel any mention of my bee corner?

isabella perez no, and the people are upset. they wanted more of seb's buzzin' corner

logan sargeant he got the logan treatment, completely forgotten.

oscar piastri that's not funny mate.

alex albon lily and i are working on getting rid of his tendencies to degrade himself.

max jones-verstappen how's that working for you two so far? alex albon not well as you can see

daphne jones-ricciardo we have a new set of grid parents!

daniel jones-ricciardo GO TO SLEEP!

daphne jones-ricciardo shh! i just got to episode 3.

fernando alonso my favorite episode is episode 1.

max jones-verstappen ARE ALL OF YOU WATCHING IT?

lewis hamilton i wanted to see how they foreshadowed my move to ferrari. mae jones-verstappen daphne dragged me into this. daphne jones-ricciardo LIAR! IT WAS YOUR IDEA! george russell i wanted to see how i evolved through the season

max jones-verstappen i guess i should watch it.

daniel jones-ricciardo i promise you won't regret it.

12 hours later

max jones-verstappen you're a fucking liar daniel jones-ricciardo. i regret it so much.

taglist: @burningcupcakefire @arkhammaid @sunflower-golden-vol6 @applopie @lorarri @mypage-myfandoms @bb-swift @thewannabewriter @you-bleed-just-toknowyouarealive @stopeatread @hobiismyhopeu @lilsiz @alessioayla @niniluvsainz @au-ghosttype @cowboylikemets1989 @justtprachisblog @rmeddar123 @nichmeddar @landonorizzz @unluckyyoshi @Mimolovescookies @brekkers-whore @natcha888 @camdensreg @mycenterfold @dear-fifi @prongsvault @kaa212 @anxxiousaries @julesbabey1 @julesbabey @georgeparisole @Smnthnclj @dan3avocado @melissayalene @nothanqks @nikfigueiredo @bella-1 @namgification @jensonsonlybutton @chezmardybum @d3kstar @weekendlusting@anytimeanywherebitchblog @ragioniera @burberryfilms @trouble-sistar @lesliiieeeee @leclercsluv @33-81

strikethrough means i couldn't tag you

click here to be added to the honest series taglist

¡leclerc-s speaks! pushing my disliking for danica and otmar with this one. i still don’t understand why she was in season 6 of dts when she’s never driven an f1 car. i was thinking of doing a written part for the parts i made up but would anyone be interested in that?

¡disclaimer! this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!

[marsha-landlord]

Frequently Asked Questions (Last Update: 26/6/25)

Many people send me messages asking me the same questions. So I am answering them.

I will update this when the need arises.

Q: What is wrong with you?

A: Nothing. Everything. Nothing.

Q: How many people did you murder?

A: I have never murdered anyone.

Q: Who are your tenants?

A: Only Kermit, Scarlet, and Tenant Eight currently have Tumblr Blogs. Anyone claiming to be a Tenant of mine who is not on this list is lying. For some reason.

Q: Will you marry me?

A: No.

Q: I love you.

A: Okay.

Q: How did Harold Senior die?

A: Natural causes.

Q: Are you a cannibal?

A: No. That is an odd question.

Q: Did you stop eating people for Marty?

I do not know anyone named Marty.

Q: Are you vegan?

A: Only on Sundays.

Q: Cults!

A: No.

Q: Religion!

A: No thank you.

[unicyclehippo]

devil in a red dress

chapter: 7/? rating: teen pairing: kate bishop/yelena belova (hawkeye) chapter wordcount: 8069 preview:

When thoughts of Yelena bubbled in her head, Kate let them come. Did Yelena like coffee? Had she had any when she’d made Kate breakfast? (Ugh. Calling it breakfast felt wrong. A disservice. A lie, even. More like the best damn scrambled eggs she’d ever eaten. Heaven in a bowl. There, that was better.) She racked her brain trying to recall. Her own coffee had been great and Yelena…she’d had a mug—a thrift store selection, green, with Mr. Kermit the Frog on it—but Kate couldn’t recall her drinking from it. What would she think of Kate’s gifted ugly mug? Kate sipped from it happily. Would Yelena understand why Kate liked it so much? (Kate thought so. She had no real proof beyond a hazy memory of a supernova smile as she admired her shot glasses that made Kate think Yelena knew how to make something out of nothing, trash into treasures.)

[alarrytale]

Just to chip in on the block. Apparently she’s also blocked by a lot of Larries because she do stupid shit, and the other day she posted af GIF of Kermit jumping from a window/balcony (because she wasn’t one of the fans meeting him in Doncaster). It could be, that Louis don’t find “jumping from roofs” as a good joke right after his friend died that way.

Yes it was a Larrie, but we will never know why he blocked the person, there could be multiple reasons.

https://x.com/ynehir92/status/1874401270657958274?s=46&t=KM1Y22XQBNGo6oNfvMQrQQ

I think there’s several possible reasons he blocked her

Hi, anons!

You can of course believe what you want. I've followed Ash for some time, and she's a regular fan doing regular fan stuff. There are plenty of other fans doing the same things as her. She's not done anything warranting this. She's one of the good ones. If she weren't, she wouldn't have had that amount of followers.

Now, Louis has a history of blocking influential larries for seemingly no reason. If he blocked a small account who were nasty and rejected by other larries too, it wouldn't have prompted this fandom reaction. You could search for a reason for the block, but i think you have to take into account that Louis underscore has a history of doing this.

The real Louis would understand that the Kermit reaction pic is the fan showing their jealousy (it's a meme across stan twitter at this point of people being overly dramatic when their favourite meets fans who isn't them and them "offing themselves") and the same for the Jay tweet reaction, people joking about resorting to violence because something is too cute to handle or too emotionally painful (in a good way). So it's a fandom meme. If the real Louis is too twitter illiterate (or fandom illiterate) to get this, and understand that fans who do this mean no harm or hate, and he feels the need to block them (well knowing how fandom will react to it) instead of scrolling on and let fans be fans and show fan behaviour, then he should not have internet access at all. He's killing his own fandom by doing this and promoting fandom war and attack on larries. There are many fan accounts who are way more nasty and hateful, but somehow it's always larries who gets blocked where there aren't any clear reason as of why.

Luckily, we know why this happened, Ash became the target because of her influence and follower count. It's a well established pattern, and maybe it's what he had to do this time around, to not have to drag F out this Christmas.

Regardless, don't let Louis underscore stop you from being a fan in a fandom space. Ash did nothing wrong, this is all on Louis and his team. If you think that the real Louis did this, for some silly reason or another, why the heck are you a fan of this dude?

[isukdik6969]

⚠️ ⚠️WARNING ⚠️ ⚠️

This post contains bad graphic scenes and inappropriate language. Viewer discretion is advised.

NSFW

Kermit, the stripper.

By: isukdik6969

Once upon a time, there was a stripper named Kermit. He loved his job and never wanted anything more. And one long day of pole dancing for rich millionaires and getting gang banged by a gang in a back alley, he did his daily checking for STI'S at the doctor's office, he finished up then gave the doctor some head. He took the bus ride home but there was no seats on the bus and he couldnt stand up on the bus with his stripper heels, so thankfully a nice horny man let Kermit sit on his lap, and all through the bus ride they had sex without anyone noticing. At this point Kermit's ass was hurting and dripping with cum and sex lube, but when Kermit got home from his job at the strip club, he grabbed a metal fork and began to eat some Kraft dinner he made in the morning. Suddenly, he heard a little voice in his head say, "Stick the fork in the outlet." Kermit had always trusted the little voice in his head, so he started to do as the voice said without knowing the consequences of it.

Kermit was about to stick the fork in the outlet when *RINGGGG* His phone rang. Kermit picks up his phone and answers "What do you want whore"Kermit says angrily. Ms. Piggy replies with "I did nothing wrong, but I wanna get back together." Kermit screams at Ms Piggy, "SLEEPING WITH UNCLE DEADLY IS NOTHING WRONG???!!! "Kermit hangs up and continues sticking the fork in the outlet saying "that lying, cheating, littl-"He gets cut off by a large zap noise. A few minutes later, Ms Piggy heads to his apartment to try and seduce him so he will get back to her. Ms. Piggy knocks a few times on the door and gets no response, so she gets her new bf -Uncle Deadly- to break down the door. She finally gets inside, and it's like a ghost town. She walks further in and checks every room.

Finally, she gets to the kitchen and steps on something cold she looks down and sees Kermit's lifeless corpse on the floor. Ms. Piggy gets angry because his stripper heels tracked so much dirt from the outside that it was ruining her brand new high heels. Then she heard something, her new boyfriend saying "Can we leave this place im hungry" She says to her new bf "No worries about food, babe, were having frog legs for dinner", So after Ms Piggy and Uncle Deadly had a threesome with Kermit's fried corpse. They feasted on Kermit, and thanks to him being electrocuted, they didn't need any preparation for him. They finished eating what they could of Kermit and sold the rest of him for 5,000,000$ on eBay

Then Uncle Deadly told Ms Piggy somthing that left her shocked he said " I'm sorry Ms Piggy but I wasn't in love with you, I was in love with Kermit, I was using you to get closer to him. But now he is gone, so I shall be gone too. " Ms Piggy started crying and trying to stop Uncle deadly, but she was too late. He had already cut his dick and balls off and was bleeding out. ~One hour later~ Ms. Piggy was out on the streets trying to find a new boyfriend. After a while, she got really tired and went back to Kermits' large stripper apartment. She had been so sad that she said "Fuck this shit, imma start dating women" So Ms Piggy had started sissoring Camilla aggressively. They lived together for a few months and then Kermit and Uncle Deadly (who were now together as a gay couple) haunted them and eventually killed them. And nobody lived happily ever after, but they did all die gay, so I guess that counts.

The End 🫶🫶🫶

I honestly only wrote this for comedy, and if yall want, I will write real smut, just ask. Hope you enjoyed the torture and there may be misspells.

[lonelyroommp3]

the terror, 3, 4, 5, 6, and 7? [eyes emoji]

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've ever seen on tumblr i truly wish i was both bitchy and organised enough to keep track of these things. thankfully i think with the terror i've managed to - quite unintentionally, probably just through watching many people, present company included, who i was already trusted mutuals with get into the show - curate a very sensible dashboard so i rarely encounter takes worse than "why would you ship jopzier they're father and son 🥺", let alone record them for posterity

4. what was the last straw that finally made you block that annoying person? them moving to the terror fandom and immediately getting back on the bnf grindset 🫣

5. worst discord server and why i have joined two terror discord servers and immediately gone ghost in both of them. this was not because of any specific beef just that i don't like discord servers and am currently active in a grand total of zero. not counting the one that's literally just me and fiona because we reliably have so many completely different conversation threads going at one time that we needed a server to manage it

6. which ship fans are the most annoying? you know the old 4chan meme of kermit going IT'S NOT FUCKING WEED YOU PIECE OF SHIT STONER... that is how i feel about fitzier fans successfully making everything about that ship. to be entirely fair to them they are literally not doing anything that is objectively annoying, those guys are just living their lives, but i firstly 1) do not ship it and 2) resent how heavily it is shipped in the fandom because 3) it frequently results in people downplaying the dynamic between characters i ship more to justify fitzier as each other's one true soulmates. so it's gotten me to a mental state where whenever i see someone trying to use canon to justify that ship my kneejerk reaction is "well you're wrong and not everything is about them" even when they may well be actually correct. but i don't want them to be. so

7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because of how the fandom acts about them? on a similar token, fitzjames. my love for him begins and ends at his little gender moment in episode 6, and maybe an occasional cheeky bit of fitzstanley shipping on the side, otherwise he just did not compel me at all. nothing against the character or how he's written, just didn't do anything for me. but my god he is this fandom's princess diana and i just tire of seeing him treated quite frequently as though he is the single most interesting guy in the show

[haveievermentioned]

Okay, Here's my idea if Sora met the Muppets in a KH game.

Sora arrives and is mistaken for the guest star for the muppet show. Between people always being in character, people having their "Cousin" show up in their place, a few times when they had to cancel the show... Sora insisting he's not the guest star leads to the Muppets assuming this is a bit.

This is a minigame style level where button pressing for singing/acting/etc

This is also the muppets so any "Failed" result is funny. Dynamite goes off too early, the wrong muppet enters the scene, singing is now an octave higher/lower, etc. The "Successful" option is the funniest, but nothing bad happens if you fail.

Kermit is supposedly following you around for the BTS subplots. this is the opposite. Kermit is handling everything.

Sora tries to befriend Statler and Waldorf. This fails.

KH plot points are freely mocked and parodied. Sora is casually dropping anecdotes (Kermit: Can you sword fight? Sora: Aladdin taught me! Kermit: ... Did it take 1001 nights?) (I am very bad at jokes but you get the idea)

At the end of it, you unlock either Gonzo or Miss Piggy as an assist. Gonzo is shot out of a canon at the enemies. Miss Piggy... well she's self explanatory.

Miss Piggy doesn't flirt with Sora, btw, but she is using him with a power play against either Fozzy or Kermit.

[voparwave69]

Just told my mother about the Croaker, and Homestuck. I explained to her that Gamzee did nothing wrong, and that Vriska is cool, and she fully trusted me, and was intrigued by the Kermit Joker erotica. Perhaps we've gained a brother, my friends.

[the-muppet-joker]

My Dark Divine

Author's Notes and Warnings: Kermit x Joker, psychological manipulation, toxic yaoi, dark romance, enemies to lovers

♤♡◇♧

Kermit took a long drag of his dainty yet masculine french cigarette and blew a cloud of spiraling smoke around his dark office, lit only by the yellowed streetlamp filtering in through the blinds. Or at least, it would be yellow if this did not take place in a black and white film noir esque setting. Kermit sighed. He longed for a life of color, of joy, of meaning, but ever since his costars on the Muppet Show had been ritualistically killed and Kermit had become a detective hellbent on finding the sick bastard who had done it, there was nothing but sorrow clouding his life. Kermit sighed.

Suddenly, the burst the door burst down! Oh no it's Joker, Kermit exclaimed! Kermit sighed and pulled out his gun. Joker was the guy committing crimes all over town, evading capture but seducing Kermit with his clown laugh all the same.

"It's over for you, frog," Joker chuckled darkly. He had a gun and a knife and Kermit swallowed in fear as his hole shivered in anticipation. Stop it, hole! Kermit thought to himself. This isn't the time!

Joker and Kermit lunged at one another, rivals, the criminal and the detective, natural enemies, punching and kicking and oh my god they're inside each other

Kermit moaned so loud, kissing Joker enthusiastically with his felt mouth. Is this what it felt like to live in a world with color? Behind his closed eyelids he saw explosions of green and purple and chaos and love and hate... all much more painful and vibrant than the monotonous grey his life had become. Joker was evil, this was wrong... but his hole begged to differ.

Wet and slopping, the cock of the clown squelched in and out and in and out of his forbidden muppet love.

"Kermit... fuck... I'm an evil guy, you know," he chuckled darkly and with lust.

"AH~ JOJER! I don't care you're just so hot~ mmm! Breed me my dark king..."

Kermit was an omega and his pheremones were going crazy. Joker growled and chuckled darkly and began to knot inside the muppet, causing him to wimper. The alpha and the muppet howled in pleasure as ropes of milky white cum gushed into the tender hole...

Just as Kermit finished cumming on Joker's member, he looked into his clown lover's acid green eyes and remembered: oh fuck. Those acid green eyes were staring at him the night all the muppets were slain...

Kermit gasped

Joker chuckled darkly

A clown's knot, a muppet's hole, a murderer revealed....

To be continued

[myrevengeinthemicrowaveofevil]

I was bored and wanted to write some absolute crack This came to me in a prophetic dream actually

Behold if you dare: My beautiful, horrible imagining of (part of) the Dashcon 2 Ballpit Duel

The Duel

Strange stepped into the ballpit, plastic balls rattling around her feet as she waded in. Thursday coiled around her neck like some macabre scarf, the heavy weight of the long furby a reassurance. 

Her eyes darted around the vast, empty ballroom, devoid of anything except a scattering of courtiers and of course, the ballpit. 

Her opponent was late. 

“Where the fuck is he?” she whispered, quietly enough that only Thursday could hear. 

The long furby shifted slightly as he projected his response into her mind with his psychic powers. 

Patience. They’ll be here soon enough. 

“She’d better be,” Strange grumbled. 

Have you considered that maybe you’re early? Thursday pointed out.

Strange took a moment to glance around the ballroom. The very empty ballroom, with no sign of her opponent, the majority of the Royal Court, or the Ballpit Queen herself.

Ok, so maybe Thursday was right.

“Fuck you,” she whispered half-heartedly to the long furby.

So Strange stood there with Thursday. Watching every person who drifted through the vast ballroom, looking for it. 

Waiting. 

The Ballpit Queen arrived before her enemy did, surrounded by courtiers like she was the most dazzling light and they were but helpless moths.

Ha. He really was late now.

But luckily for him, the Queen was in no rush to start the proceedings.

Which left her with nothing to do but keep her eyes trained on the door, and wait.

Strange knew it the second he walked in the door. Knew this wasn’t the attire of a cosplaying courtier, that this was the real deal. 

6 inch heels clicked across the concrete floor as he advanced. Her suit was the deep purple of a fresh bruise, his shirt a green so dark it was almost black. 

The bright flower on their lapel would have caught Strange’s eye, if her attention hadn’t been drawn by his special hat. Eyes as green as her own stared out from within the red lips of Kermit the Frog’s likeness. 

At the edge of the ballpit he unstrapped the baby carrier thing she had strapped to his chest and gently put it down, displaying a reverent care for the cumstained plushie it contained. 

Strange resisted the urge to roll her eyes as her opponent wasted more precious time muttering to that lifeless effigy of Kermit the Frog. 

Finally, they stepped into the ballpit. 

For what felt like eons they watched each other, neither wanting to make the first move. 

Strange eyed her nemesis, taking in what it had brought to their duel. A joker gun rested on one hip, his pool noodle sword on the other. 

Strange’s hand twitched towards her own pool noodle, but didn’t draw it. Yet. 

This close, she could see something that appeared to be dripping from her enemy’s mouth, beneath the special hat. A dribble of… her first instinct had been to call it blood, but it was far too dark, and decidedly the wrong texture. 

Black goop, then. A dribble of black goop. 

Gross, but it was excellent to see that her dark and twisted emo spells were still paying off. 

Strange smiled, her grin as twisted as her spine. 

“Sir Croaker,” she said, breaking the silence and acknowledging her opponent by name. 

For a moment he was silent. 

“Sir Strange,” the Croaker eventually relented. 

Strange’s hand finally closed around her pool noodle. The Croaker mirrored her action, but neither of them drew. Yet.

The Ballpit Queen was here, but the duel still needed an officiator.

A sudden chill swept through the crowd now surrounding them, as something new arrived to the duel.

The laughter of a thousand clown breeds echoed around the room. Balls started to rise from the pit of their own accord. A faint stink of piss drifted through the air.

Suddenly, the laughter stopped. The balls dropped back down. The piss smell disappeared.

An intern staggered up to the edge of the ballpit, something great and terrible lurking behind her haunted eyes.

The spirit of Dashcon 2 was here.

The Ballpit Queen nodded imperiously.

“Let the duel commence.” the spirit of Dashcon 2 intoned.

[pumpkinfreak]

Heroes In The City prt. 6

It didn’t matter how long his father had been on the FBI watch list, or how many times he saved the Earth. Eel was his embarrassing, corny dad, who used to morph into Kermit the Frog to make him laugh. He still did sometimes. 

Luke spotted him from the pitcher's mound. He could see the glint of his gold tooth as he grinned. His dad, with his cheesy gold tooth, was sitting next to Wonder Woman in his School’s dinky old bleachers. He was starting to think the papers were right. 

“Get your head in the game, O’Brien!” His coach called out. Luke scratched at the power dampening collar before whipping the ball forward, the batter biffed it, and the catcher caught it with a grunt. 

Eel whispered something in Diana’s ear, she laughed, and Luke wondered what the Hell his life had become. 

When the game was over, they won fifteen to ten,  Linnya appeared out of the hiding spot she kept to, she didn’t like being crowded. The guys in the dugout did their usual routine of teasing him over his girlfriend. 

He swatted at them with his mitt as gathered up his things. “ Yeah, yeah. Have fun kissing your pillows tonight.” 

Linnya held his hand as they walked to the gate that led out to the parking lot. “ You seemed out of it.” She said, reaching up to flip his hat backwards to see his face better. “ I’m fine, just a lot on my mind.” 

She frowned. “ I’m sorry.” 

Luke stopped and hugged her close. “ You didn’t do anything wrong, I should have told her sooner. Either way she freaked out, it's not your fault.” He kissed her and pulled away when she tugged at the hair on his chin. “ Your face is scratchy.” Linnya crinkled up her nose. “ You love it.” He said back. 

“ I don’t, you feel like steel wool.”

She rubbed her palms over his cheeks. “You’re not mad at me?” Luke placed his hands over hers. “No, I’ll figure it out with my mom. Don’t worry about it.” A sharp whistle disrupted their moment. “Get a room!” his father called out as he and Diana met them at the gate. “How’s my future daughter in law?” he said, hugging Linnya.  

Luke would have complained but Wonder Woman approached him with a hard pointed expression. “Do you have to wear that?” she asked, touching her own neck. “Oh, the collar? Yeah it’s the only way they’ll let me play.” Diana crossed her arms. “You don’t have to wear it during school do you?” His father put a hand on her shoulder. “No, he doesn't. They tried though.” 

Luke groaned and Linnya smirked. “It’s ancient history! Let’s go get food. I'm starving.” He put an arm around Linn and headed out of the gate. “Teenagers.” Eel remarked. “I don't like it.” Diana continued. The younger couple led the way and Diana and Patrick followed behind. “What’s up with them?” Lin whispered to Luke. “I don’t know, but I refuse to believe my dad is dating Wonder Woman.” 

Both teens glanced behind them to see them linked arm and arm. “I think they're cute.” Lin said cheerily. “There is nothing cute about my father.”  She furrowed her brow. “You look exactly like your dad?” 

Diana and Patrick were far enough behind they couldn't hear what was being said. “ I think we’re fooling them.” he said, nudging Diana. “ I hope we didn't embarrass him too much.” he shrugged. “He’s always embarrassed.” 

The restaurant came into view, its bright neon sign hanging over the sidewalk. Angel waited underneath it, Danial standing beside her. Luke Halted along with Lin. Angel and Luke stared each other down, giving Patrick and Diana time to catch up.  “Ah, shit.” Patrick muttered under his breath. 

“So you just don’t call? You leave and you shut me out.” Angel demanded as she stormed over to Luke. Danial kept his hands on her shoulders like he was coaching her. Eel opened his mouth but Angel snapped her fingers at him. “I am talking to my son.” A muscle feathered in Patrick’s jaw, and Diana could feel him tense up. “More like talking at me, but that’s nothing new.” Luke shot back. Diana detached herself from Eel and gently pulled Lin away. “We should let them be alone for a moment.”  

Angel seemed taken aback by Diana stepping in, but she was already walking across the street with Linn before she could object. “I didn’t leave you, you kicked me out.” Luke defended himself. “That is not what your mother said.” Daniel spoke bringing an end to Eel’s thin pacients. “I’m sorry, why are you here?” Luke nodded. “Your mother said that you could live with your girlfriend or with her. You chose to leave.” Daniel said not answering Eel’s question.  “What was I supposed to do? Break up with my girlfriend, the person I've been with for three years?”

Angel rolled her eyes. “I was not telling you to leave Lisa.” Patrick pinched the bridge of his nose. Luke’s mouth fell open in disbelief. “Lisa! Her name is Linnya.” the tips of his ears were going pink. “Alright! I’m sorry. The point still stands. You cannot just go off with your girlfriend to god knows where.” 

Luke clenched his hands into fists. “Fucking watch me.” he spat as he said as he stretched his way across the street. “Luke Earnie O’Brien!” Eel shouted after him. “Is that how you raised your son?” Daniel said as Angel crossed her arms, her anger now locked on Eel. “Listen man, I really need you to mind your business.” 

Angel jabbed a finger in Eel’s chest. “Is he wrong? He gets that from you.” Eel put his hands on his hips. “Oh, because you're such a peach.” Daniel moved so he was standing in front of Angel. “ I can’t say I'm surprised. An ex-convict with the backing of the Justice League. I bet you think your untouchalbe.” 

Daniel crossed his arms and cocked his head to the side. “Okay John Wayne. If you’re trying to get a rise out of me it’s not happening. You're half my size and you look like the toughest thing you've fought is a traffic ticket.” Daniel put his hands up. “Is that all you Meta’s know how to do, hurt people?”

Angel began to pull Daniel away. “Leave it Dan. Let's go.” Eel was rooted to the sidewalk as the pair disappeared into the busy street. “You Meta’s.” he said to himself.   

[ewyband]

MEDIA EWY CONSUMED IN 2024

i did one of these for 2022, not sure if I did one for 2023 but here we go !! CYBERPUNK 2077

easily the most influence piece of media that has directly affected my songwriting ("sexual brain dance attractor", thats how you know i'm truly obsessed). god where do i start !! I don't have a lotta time to play video games nowadays but I started this game in february and finished it in December, took me around 70 hours? So, what, 7 hours a month? anyways, this game is gorgeous. the visuals, the world, the storytelling, god its good!! i love how in depth everything goes. especially the DLC. you'll think a mission is wrapped up but a tiny decision you made during it comes back and bites you several hours later. THATS good world building baby!! ALSO so many lines of dialogue??? its actually crazy. the world feels so alive. the city is beautiful and oppressing, the stories within it are dystopian and uplifting, society feels alive and buried. i love it, genuinely a 9/10 for me. I could go more into it but I'd be here all day. Outer Wilds

I think I technically finished this game at the start of this year. I've just started playing the DLC recently. It's an extremely good game that I can say pretty much nothing about. just go play it, trust me. 8/10

I Saw The TV Glow

I believe I already talked about this a little on here. I liked this movie don't get me wrong but it was extremely bloated and felt like it was seriously pushing its 1hr30 run time. I also didn't feel seriously affected by it since the horror the movie was ascribing, I'd already felt. maybe its good for describing the trans experience to a cis person but i just didn't really feel that strongly about it. it was an extremely solid 6/10 for me. a lotta points for the 'vibe' of the movie. it had a very strong feeling thats hard to even put into words. its like when you're a kid and you sneak downstairs in the middle of the night to watch TV and you hear the hiss of the CRT and feel the fuzz on the screen. you go to sleep and have nightmares of the living room. good vibe. The Muppet Movie (1979)

god FUCK, absolute cinema. I love love jim henson. I relate to kermit the frog an extraordinary amount. so many big hopes of making it big in an oppressive industry that wants you to advertise yourself. so many people relying on you to make that dream happen. so many people to organise. but all of thats worth it to make the dream come true and it wouldn't be possible without the friends we made along the way. i get it, i understand the rainbow connection and one day i'll find it too. 10/10 The Muppets (2011)

The jokes, oh my god, they are so funny. This is such a good fucking movie, theres not a single minute where i felt bored or like a scene was unnecessary. it really did feel like someone really wanted the muppets to make a comeback and they came out SWINGING which i guess is what the movie is all about!! I guess if the muppet movie (1979) was all about jim hensons story as a creator, the muppets (2011) is all about someone who felt so inspired by him that he wanted to bring back the magic. 10/10

The Muppets Most Wanted (2014)

It's aight !! definitely worth a watch if you like the muppets (2011) but ricky gervais brings this shit down so much. like an extraordinary amount. its like he doesnt wanna be there !! he's so flat !! for gods sake man stop being transphobic for a second, you're in a fucking muppets movie !!!!!! the opening song and the interrogation song SLAPS but a lot of the songs just don't hold up to the OGs. its a good movie but i wouldn't say its any more than that 7/10 The Muppets (2015)

THIS IS SUCH A GOOD SERIES????? granted I was high as fuck throughout nearly every single one of these but these are legitimately so fucking funny. its nice to see a 'modern' spin on the muppets. some jokes were a little dated but I'm really mad this got cancelled. there was obviously a lot of love that went into this series and I thought the office style formatting was extremely well done. I just can't believe it got cancelled after only one season what the fuck disney 8/10 The Muppets Christmas Carol

the songs, holy fucking shit, what the HELL !!!!! i'd say every single song apart from maybe one or two is a straight slapper. marley and marley ?? i had that shit stuck in my head for a WEEK!! its a really sweet story and infinitely more funny knowing that

Various Disney Movies

i watched: turning red, brother bear, inside out, inside out 2, alladin, emperors new groove, kronks new groove and luca i wont go too in depth with any of these, most of them were ehhh but standouts were definitely emperors new groove, luca and alladin

i fuckin love the muppets dude