#kim taehyung angst

[watashijeon]

Mon Ange. | KTH

listen while reading — Is there someone else The Weeknd

— I made you mine, or so it seemed. I might as well be two feet tall. You never will love me at all. —

You’re calling out for his name, nothing can kill this moment. He feels sweetness and ease.. never has he let himself slip. But tonight is his birthday or so it was hours before.

Nonetheless, nothing could kill the stillness.

"Hm?" he’s mumbling with his speech, nose buried into pretty flushed skin. He feels confused, feeling you still when your words came out so blurred in his mind.

“I have to tell you something.”

Completely lost now where this was going, he stills his touch. Awkward and stiff, you make eye contact for what you are about to say.

He doesn’t understand the build up, he just wish you would say what it was. Maybe you had to take some time away from him due to your work.. he understood, he didn’t mind that.

"I think we should end our arrangement."

Oh. It’s so different from what he had just suspected, why does his heart feel like it just plummeted to another oblivion of nothing?

Taehyung doesn’t care, he’s undisciplined and chaotic with his very few next actions.

You need to leave. Freezing up, ready for his immediate impulse, because you know him like the back of your hand. The man picks you right off from his lap, rather rough and he would have time to regret on the meanness of it later.

He’s quick to pointing his hand open palm stiff and stern to the now sad wrinkled dress on the floor that laid lonely.

“Well, go on then.”

Your eyes looked at him pained, you had not a clue what his reaction really meant but you moved. Wiggling on your dress, back faced to him before looking once more to see his distracted stare. He is so out of it now, he doesn’t know.

“You understand.. right, Tae?” oh why must you speak so sweet to him using his shorten nickname in that especially nauseating sweet voice, even the way you are ending this is a million times nicer than he has ever ended a fling with a person.

“I do, bye.”

He’s being so mean, harsh and rude.

Taehyung hopes you won’t dwell on it or let it hurt your heart like it will to his very own.

But somehow he wants it to pain you, make you feel the same burn and ripping he feels in his chest right now. What did he do wrong?

“Goodbye Taehyung.” and that was it, the door clicked and so did his very front one. Left with the forbidden but likely delicious and perfect red velvet cake you’ve made, and a gift that sat perfectly next to it wrapped in his favorite color for wrapping paper on his kitchen island.

And indeed you had to make his favorite cake flavor, meaning you remembered the stupid detail when he told you on a night together.

≿━━━━༺❀༻━━━━≾

He remembers so clearly on the morning you stayed after for the first time coming over for six months. The two of you had lazed in his bed between tangled limbs and sheets “I will, I will protect you.” your lips dropped into a pout tracing your nimble finger over the man’s jaw.

How could you even say that when you leave him not much later, he doesn’t get it. This isn’t like you at all. Maybe being in pained denial he couldn’t accept the sore fact that someone made the first move on with abandonment.

You weren’t supposed to lie, it’s uncalled for and unacceptable. But even deep down the man knew he was being ignorant, he’s lied to many people to avoid hurt and it was his own field of career to lie if necessary.. that’s all you were trying to do.

The man can’t dare to muster up to think you have a bad bone in your little body that was filled of nothing less of kindness. But right now he won’t be rational with his assumptions.

He’s angry and selfish with dire need for your presence now all over again, no matter the situation that this is. But whatever really, big deal that you are gone. He will find someone else to fuck his life into, you are no different from any other living human with a hole.

…

He pauses.

Never mind that, fuck that. He deserves a good and perfect reason for why you did this.. leaving him in the dark, quite literally. Taehyung can't stand not talking to you even if he never took time to speak so much into your conversations. He still appreciated all of your efforts and presence you put into whatever what you had was, now it’s all fucking gone.

He used to act upon impulse when he would have multiple play things through out the month. But you, you make him stop to think. It makes him wrinkle his nose because he does not have a clue why you turn him to be this way. It’s simply you being you, no spell.. no great manipulation in your words. Just you.

In the beginning of this arrangement he was reluctant given the age gap, especially with the relation that you were a long time family client of his.

Once he became enthralled with someone.. he could say it took a lot to kill it.

You weren’t the only one that had the privilege, he’s turned thirty two this year and definitely doesn’t have enough fingers to count on with how many girls he has used up and nicely dumped off to the side — kindly.

Sparing the honest reason that he needs to focus on his career before weeks later he would latch claws into his new toy, it’s only painstakingly different now.

Much different because he had never held onto a “toy” for over a few months at a time, the man liked variety and trying new things. With you in the picture, it was sickening at the fact that he grew real attachment to every little thing about you. It made him want you more. While he is nothing great of the sort for you, he was only a warm body to give you what was desired. You gave him your body and time, in return he would give you lust driven pleasure.

He was the one who established what you two were from the great beginning, he was not allowed to feel betrayed and cheated. Someone could hate him and he would cackle at that, a girl could scream at the stoic man and he’d chuckle again. Once you lose his interest there is no winning him back, it's as if getting stuck in a never ending pit of quick sand that could swallow you in pitiful eyes. He thinks it’s valid to feel this way, he’s coming to terms with the whole ordeal of what all this was.

Being your damn family lawyer and you had met him when you were the young age of nineteen, a mere baby. It definitely took some time for him to be ok with the fact that he would end up fucking you almost weekly with your given age — he’s not a pervert.. right? But you were a mature girl as you grew up, he liked you for this reason.. different and good for whatever he wanted and still you set healthy boundaries not letting him walk over your toes.

Time will pass nicely, right? He will be fine and move on — find someone even better. A little reflecting won’t hurt his soul.

It has been a little over two months since the grouch for a man has seen you, turning slowly into the twentieth century version for Scrooge.

Promising himself each day he would not give in and call you, you will be the one to run back.

He’s been saying that to himself since the day you up and left.. now his very once high and wild ego was now dwindling day by day and he is pissed beyond belief, because wow, wowww. You really did leave him as if he planned to do the exact for you in the beginning of meeting with you, that was before he caught a liking and it was only for your body, of course.

Yes.. that’s what is was. It was only really your gorgeous body that gave him pleasure to see you again and again, never mind the fact of your amazing personality or one of a kind glowing aura that brought a sweet genuine smile on his usual crest fallen features.

Broken from his reverie he’s receiving a call, he’s been sat still buried in his office since six am. It’s how he gets through his days to not think about you or testing the waters of calling.

The phone clicks and clatters, he needs to get himself a new desk phone or better yet just buy another smartphone. Huffing and puffing, he inhales and exhales seeing the caller id.

“Hello, it’s been awhile sir.”

It’s your father, he has to fake a front for the sake of niceties and also being civil because your very own damn dad has been using the Kim’s for any law or business relations since Taehyung was probably born, he’ll complain and grumble later on to a nice white wall of his.

“Oh yes! Things have been crazed.”

Taehyung really wonders about that, a hotel tycoon can only get so wild and crazed.. right?

“Hmm, I understand. What can I help you with.”

“Ah, Mr Kim. let’s get down to it—“ the grinch for a man licks and licks his lips again out of great big habit, becoming nervous of the lingering for just how long it takes this man to get to a point. Many clicks and clattering over the other line.. the older would continue.

“So, I need to talk through some paperwork with you regarding about merging contracts.”

“Go on, sir.” he can’t be this vague.. come on. Shouldn’t he know better than to speak so small about important shit, god help his ticking time bomb for patience being not a virtue.

Ping

If silence could kill it would be deathly here and now, he receives the paper work faxed over. A skim and scan later — Taehyung feels his heart plummet to places beyond his comprehension.

It’s just so now, he realizes your father has been blabbering about whatever this whole time.

“What is this all for?”

His eyes ogle and ogle for more than a few times he could count, reading the bold letters of “Marital License and Contract Briefing.”

“Well if it wasn’t obvious, our dear y/n is going to get married next month. We have set her up with the perfect man who is a well respected hotelier heir, a perfect match for our family.”

Of course.. of course your father would set you up with a person that is in the same position of business as him, you probably had no word or real say in this. God, why does he feel wrath and anger. He wants to rip his hair out straight.

He should be happy for you, your new husband to be probably feels like home in his arms.

So much that he bets he mends you with warm healing long hugs, and utterly disgusting kind smiles that remind you of honey mixed into sweet vanilla, your very two favorite things.

He continued to offer your father a tight-lipped smile as if he could see him through the phone, briefly looking up from the contracts on his computer screen — faxed papers sitting nice and crisped on his desk. He thinks it’s best he ends this call now before he yells off.

“Ok sir, I’ll look over them and we will discuss the terms and things that will be strewn.”

“Oh that is great to hear! I invite you over tomorrow for tea, we will discuss all of the paperwork then. Yes?”

He won’t allow himself to think about that, he will agree just to get off this damn phone call.

“Yes sir, I’ll see you then, good night.”

Click.

He’s here, he can’t believe he actually came.

Sat in the way too high ceilings for a living area, he will blame it on why he feels this nauseated. God, he knows you live here obviously. It’s been your parents odd and traditional rule until you were ready to move out when they thought it was best, you always said that was why you still stayed with them. What he didn’t know was the bizarre underlying conditions were marriage.

“Ah Kim, here we are.” The meeting begins and ends with the blink of an eye.

It went awful in Taehyung’s eyes, he really didn’t want to hear about you getting married off for a great three hours. It left the man wanting to seethe and bite his mouth off until the older would finally shut up to take a puff or sip of liquor.

Then on he tried to laugh with your father.. even when it felt as if pearly teeth might crack with only how hard his jaw flexed shut.

Your father welcomes the man to stay over for only awhile longer, he won’t accept it, kindly.

He has to get going.. because someone (Taehyung) couldn’t handle on what all just happened. While the hag of your father thought it was a good idea to step out and take a call.

15 minutes before

It’s been minutes now and your father isn’t back, Taehyung decides to dwell around with his eyes to gawk at the various family portraits hung from generations before and other astray framed photographs of little you and family.

He has the urge to trace his finger along the frames but he won’t, definitely not now.

“Tae..?”

Like clockwork, Taehyung’s head cocks in nanoseconds to the spiraled staircase you stood by, gripping on the bar to keep stance.

You look gorgeous right now, still the same as before. He can’t help but let his eyes trail over your legs, he’s no better than any other man. He decides he can’t stare for much longer though, clearing his throat to cock his head off to the side in mimicking a fake neck crack.

“Hello.” he decides on, licking lips for the trillionth time and resting hands into pockets.

Your stare doesn’t stutter elsewhere, you copy him yourself — licking lips except only slower and more tantalizing. Or that’s how he sees it. He hated confrontation, one of his favorite things about you though.. is you’d ask too many questions every time you were around. He’d act like he hated it, but bathed in the attention and attentive wide eyes you once had all for him.

It’s only none of the many questions you’d ask would ever provoke the man to deflect, bother him up the wall and make him drop you soon later in his own sheer annoyance like usual. It’s happened to others, he’s an asshole but he could care less because at least he is honest.

Seeing you now gives him bitter sweetness for deja vu, the memory to when he saw you for the first time when you were eighteen — never having an ounce of interest in you then. You were a pesky teenager though, ogling the man like sweet candy for your taking. Nothing unusual he hadn’t encountered before.. only ever moving forward to do his job and ignore it.

That helped some.

Both of you finally interacted properly then when you were twenty, clear that you had matured fast and you were well with holding good conversation. While.. your dear father ran around with his head cut off like a chicken and leaving a bored lawyer Kim to wait for set business meetings to be done, you were lovely company at least.

Then somehow.. something happened, the day where he took your virginity in your childhood bathroom — it was your 21st birthday after all.

It was almost too universal how the world wanted you two to be alone at this awful time. But the moment happened so fast maybe too fast if he wants to dwell on it now, only once comforting the weeping girl that trembled in his arms to have you seconds under his grasp.

You had to, just had to look down at him with those puppy dog eyes choking a mere sob of “Am I not important.. is that what it is Tae?”

God he hated how you said his name, so sweet and quiet. Full of vulnerability and sadness.

He couldn’t allow a pretty girl like you, sobbing over something so minuscule on her birthday, he had a great plan of course. Comfort? No.

Fuck the sadness out of you, it will do you well.

It’s shameful at how he’s too old for your young sweet heart that still had much to see and live.. he’s nothing but rotten fruit at best.

But why did he want to stay selfishly so.

Your eyes did it in for him, they always did..

Corny and sappy he thinks.

He tries to move on with the passing thoughts of why do you need to be claimed now when he was starting to think he could have tried. He hopes you had at least one passing thought yourself of the what ifs and hows.

Present

All but nothing of silence settles between the two of you, no words are exchanged past that.

Eventually steps dissipate further from him to hear, you leave after the stare off you both shared — thankfully your father interrupts.

It’s been a few hours since you last saw him, you knew way before he was going to dial your phone. Doing exactly this, after your third attempt to ignore the countless calls you press accept to hear the expectant drawl of your name in stupor.

You’re sure he’s grinning dumb and widely boxy, almost as if youth takes over for these very small tipsy minutes. His vulnerability is clearly yours now, it’s so viable at how bad he is vying for attention.

You prepare yourself, clearing your throat and speaking as clear and stern as one could be.

“Hello?”

“Hmmmhmm, hello.”

There’s a pause, awkward, but he’s drunk so he likely doesn’t recognize the rising tension.

“Yes, Taehyung?”

There’s a giggle..? Oh my god he just giddily giggled at your voice. No, no your heart isn’t doing backflips — you’re just concerned.

“At your door, open sesame.” you can hear him try to knock like a madman — even if there’s visibly a buzzer that’s meant to be there so insiders could hear from the size of your parent’s insanely huge home.

Drunk Taehyung doesn’t know that though.

Fuck well, ok you guess. Thank god your father isn’t home for the night — you begin to panic but you can dissolve situations fine, it’s your strong suit or one of the many of them at least.

You practically lunge from your bed to tumble over down the stairs, trying to keep him half entertained while you tunnel yourself to the door before the maids could see the odd sight.

Being quiet as you can be with unlocking the door, Taehyung makes it no issues to pull a dramatic scene. Already seconds in through the door staring you down, like any other would be scared of the predatory stare.

But this is Taehyung, he would never hurt you.

All you can do, Slowly watching him advance at you skittering back until you’re pressed to the wall. He doesn’t touch you, leaned against the victorian wall with each hand on either side trapping you between him.

He won’t stop there yet, drawling your name out in a drunken purr “Aw-huh. Angel, you got yourself stuck..what are we going to do now?" like no moral was ever created — toes curled into wooden floors from the deep baritone voice awakening all of your weaken senses.

You try, trying so damn hard and ignore it.

Staring hard into empty eyes, his bags are awfully visible and you wonder if he’s even slept lately.

You’re so tiny and frazzled by his abrupt actions, feeling him slide a warm hand up to your stomach to trail barely under your tits. The same said empty eyes sharpen at your slip of a pathetic whine, closing you into the wall a tad too close for comfort to make you both bump into each other’s chest.

“Wanna fuck this pretty cunt again.”

His words boom into you everywhere, from head to toe and places you wouldn’t like to acknowledge that throbbed with need. Doomed, definitely, that’s what you are.

You can only exhale feeling a warm shiver travel down your spine from the daring slip of drunken tongue. Able to pull enough strength to squeak a soft response “L-let’s lay down.”

It was your best bet to avoid from ruining your impending future, you won’t allow no more mishaps to happen. It’s all for your father.

He settled off with a hum, you were surprised he’d backed off. Maybe the man recognizing the nervousness in your tone, “Lead the way.”

It’s quiet now, too tense for your liking but you can’t do anything you think to help the off situation. Laid in your bed next to each other with a foot of space between your bodies.

It’s uncanny how alike this situation reminds you of some movie you watched with the man.

You feel like you’re steps away from saying the infamous line of “Lying Is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off.”

You won’t have a second to think longer when the big bear decides to speak up into the unknown of silence that had lasted for a long hour, “I get it.. yeah, you don't love me, big fucking deal.”

Silence, absolutely nothing back.

“I’ll never tell you how I really feel, angel.”

Your breath was being held for seconds until he decides to follow with cockiness, there it is.

Always showing a slip of vulnerability followed with the man being plain rude. It’s the way your eyes roll that cause a gasp to stutter from him, almost like he didn’t expect your attitude nor harsh yet honest reaction.

He won’t comment on it properly, never does.

“Hold me.” he mumbles while simultaneously grumbling, trying his definition in hard to get you closer than whatever.. this is. Your brow ticks at him head shifting to properly face his pouted features from his side profile, feeling up for the need to deny him only a bit.

“What? Stop mumbling.���

He won’t take a pause this time, thankfully.

“Hold me goddammit.” he huffs and puffs out even louder — yet incoherently all in the same breath. Taehyung coughs, trying to clear his throat and mocks you with a roll in his own eyes of annoyance, like you did something.

That time you did “hear” him and you did what was asked by the big grizzly bear, only you turned to him closer now — seeing that wry smile on his cruel but godforsaken pretty face.

The spiral begins, you and him are going to give into this hell of fire.. only letting it grow uncontrollable by the end of night.

Are you going to do well without me?

Are we ever going to be okay?

Will we ever be fine?

You were too good to be forgotten in his heart.

It was too quiet in this room, silent and tense.

Taehyung felt nothing but regret, fucking stupid as he closed his eyes and mumbled these pitiful words.

Stupid, as he continued to speak gibberish into the room. I feel stupid. I am stupid.

You finally give up on the swallowing of the never ending silence and endless mumbling under his breath, tongue dry trying to clear your throat so to maybe finally speak — maybe even summon him back, and he does. It works because he lets his eyes finally open back.

You tug him into your chest wasting no more time when there’s not much, arms wrapped tight around his stiff figure that takes only just a minute to loosen once he realized you weren’t going to push him back anymore.

It’s not much different though, his nails still pierced into his forearm with thin lips folded into teeth to feel anything but what this is right now. You were staring at him, Taehyung, your father’s lawyer, your first crush and realization that you really only like and desire older men.

Now wishing you’d rather have gone to therapy instead of pursue that day in the bathroom.

You don’t mean that actually, you just hate yourself at this very moment and so does he.

But this wasn't the Taehyung you knew, wasn't the same man with styled hair and sultry eyes.. looking now as real life death in your arms.

You weren’t trying to be harsh nor hateful, you were worrying your heart out and confirming all the racing thoughts you have figured to be maybe going on. Only for them to come to life. He looks unreal tonight, almost unnatural from his usual sun kissed skin. No more sharpness to his look, the man looks fucking sick.

You want to coddle him to death, your own heart feels like it’s going to lurch right out from it’s chest by any second now if he keeps looking at you with those sad puppy dog eyes. This was not the look you yearned to see, you hated it all so much.

“Well.” clearing his throat, trying to prove something into air. Maybe it’s a lawyer instinct.

You repeat back to him without a beat to really think, “Well..” you use the same tone of voice but maybe yours wavered more in raw pain. The man wordlessly continued to stare like always, holding your hand tight in his grip in bringing it up to his lips. You should reject his warm touch, leave even, run far.

But why are you still laying here.. melting away.

He was being this gentle and just careful, you would giggle if the situation weren’t tense now.

Long fingers playing with lips, digits ghosting over your cheek with a soft caress. You can’t help but shut your own tired eyes, melting more and more and it was just like that.

His control is gone, so fast and fluidly when your lashes fluttered to cold skin. Whispering his name too sweet and soft almost in prayer.

"We can’t.. it would be wrong.” it’s insane how you knew his intentions from the speed his hands traveled to the material of your night dress.

"So fucking wrong," he becomes almost too ready with heavy pants of hot breath kissing your jaw and neck.

Eager calloused thumbs rubbing circles into your hips that were on the brink of trembling.

You whine at the tone he uses, becoming easy to his invasion "Don't.. don't speak like that." Eyes heavy lidded, lips licking with each breath that exhaled from your stuttering chest.

He wants you dead it seems, feeling up your body more and more by every passing second before easy fingers would get to your chest.

"I'm wrong like that.. you like it," the man preaches with determined digits this time skimming back down onto your hips to hear his favorite strangled whines "you want it.”

"Ah.. T-tae” it’s pathetic.. sounding asthmatic in your own ears from mere fingers grazing you rough.

"Who's married? Certainly not you, yet."

You pause to mull it over, eyes falling into his.

He truly doesn’t care now, past gone. Nothing can stop this — you need him.. your sweet eyes tell almost all too fucking well for him to know.

He's moving on autopilot when he pulls you to him with no awareness of anything around him, the man frenzied with his only living goal to feel you wrapped around him. Whether it be with loose limbs or his all well endowed cock buried deep between warm tightness, he needed to feel you again.

Your gasps fall out too soft to be surprised at the sudden roughness, murmuring whining moans that fell into a mantra of "We can't..” tiny cries that quickly later start falling into hungry kisses while neither of you had an ounce of intention to stop, no matter the end of it.

Lips already collided against each other in a perfect mess of motion, tongues lolled out of your mouthes as the pleasure binds you both.

It’s disgusting now, strings of drool dribbling to your chest from every pause he took to pull and nip. The man grabs your scalp, yanking you head back against his shoulder. Jaw slack open to give him the prettiest mouth for him to gladly spit right down onto your tongue, so pathetic all for his demise.

Doing all the nothing but moaning and swallowing, open mouth with all your might.

Leaving a desperate plea in sparkly eyes while you wait impatient for his next move, you missed him. Eyes yearning and lips quivering, legs shaking so early on and yet.. your spine just might go limp quite soon.

You whine almost instantaneously and nothing less of desperate while the devious man began to nibble harshly down on your neck with small bites of love.

Moving on nothing but anger and bubbled feelings at surface, shoes being removed, with the stubborn zipper of your night dress slipping down from your shoulders as hungry lips explored every inch of skin that became exposed.

So quick, licking a wet stripe down your chest to stomach to feeling you shake with desire and need, tasting the want for you on his tongue.

“Hmm, your poor husband to be.”

He hated that, hated the fact that you were about to belong to someone. He knew he wanted and needed you to feel the burn that he had been feeling for months since then.

"I'm not t-telling," you can barely form a sentence let alone a proper sound that didn’t make you sound out to be like a deprived slut.

The man can’t do much other than scoff, you having the strength to use that reassuring tone— with such a soft tone and bat pretty doll eyes in lost of such easy pleasure given.

Looking this fucking gorgeous and it’s going to be all for someone else, not him ever “I know angel, not with the way i’m about to fuck you.”

Like clockwork you moan like a bitch at that, of course. Feeling him sink razor sharp canines down into the squishy flesh of your stomach.

Uncaring completely for the fresh marks, he would hope in your future meeting with that man.. you wouldn’t become so easy to show yourself off for him. Sliding his fingers from your stomach down over to your cunt, slipping long digits between sopping wetness — sticky as if you already had touched yourself earlier.

He’s growing impatient, on the aspect of stretching you out when he so gladly craves to stuff you four fingers full. But he’s a gentleman at his very best, always calling out for him in non-stop “T-tae..” or better yet “Touch me, I’m sorry, I’ll be good.” without any doubt he would answer “Anything for the angel.”

Your thighs already shake from the burn of /slowly/ fucking yourself on long fingers. Tears streaming, overwhelmed by the burning stretch that comes with each motion, soon quiet sniffles and soft gasps turn into sobbing when the man decides to snake his hand and start to tease and slowly circle your clit.

“So perfect, all for me, hm.”

You nod eager to please, blushing all the way down to your toes. Biting your lip, thoughts not holding very well against the feeling of the eager man’s middle finger now slipping out from you to part your cunt and stroke along the sore slit.

“Patient tonight? You must want it bad.” he sighs almost sounding bored, standing tall over you to undo the belt that once looped through his slacks. Long gone leather abandoned to the floor along with his slacks pooled at his ankles, ready, finally.

“You gotta be nice and quiet for me. Yeah? Can you do that for me?”

You’re way past desperate tonight, choking out a broken “Y-yes, fuck! Please.” wild hips winding up for more of the now lost touch.

The older plays coy, smirking lopsided and lazy, kneeling on the bed to line himself up to the pretty plump cunt. Long digits wrapped around his cock, "Open up for me baby."

She obeys immediately, legs opening wider to shakily wrap themselves around Taehyung’s waist. His hips up to slip his cock into the crease of your folds. Grinding there half tipsy now, leaky tip nudging at your clit.

Not wasting another second, the first push of stretch has you whining his name. Long nails piercing into taut honey skin, cock fucking in ruthless at the long thrusts that heat your core up, forming sweat down his neck and shoulders.

“Goood fucking girl.” He drawls with a husky moan, you want to die at how fucking hot he sounds.

He doesn’t care, going faster to no point of being coherent in your mind. Punishing strokes fucking the life out of you, snapping his cock right into your tight cunt. One hand bruised into your hip while the other slipped easily around your neck just enough to have you alert “Look me in the eyes when I’m fucking you.”

Lashes fluttering half open, looking with a fuzzy minded daze. Knowing you look like a slut, feeling drool drip everywhere along with the slickness between your legs. Coming to the reality you would let him do anything and you’d welcome it.

"Just like that baby, shit, taking my cock so fucking good," he grunts almost feral with every punishing stroke "Y-yes, " tiny voice choking out, slamming into you with hips winding harder if that was even humanely possible "Love it so much, I-love your cock.”

“Who’s a whore, uh? Who’s desperate for cock.”

“Tell me.” he growls slowing the roll of his hips into you to pull a desperate cockslut spill a mess of “Me, me, me.” you’re hyperventilating almost with how good he feels “M-me, I’m sorry!” god, the situation is a mess but he wouldn’t be lying if he wasn’t thinking about filling his load in you and pray to the man above that your birth control didn’t work.

feeling walls grow tighter and tighter, knowing the telltale signs you were about to cum.

“Perfect fucking girl, sucking me so tight.”

“S-stop..” you whine in embarrassment with a broken sob when you feel the devil himself sink deeper, balls deep inside you now.

Back and forth, back and forth.

An addictive dance, once friendly boundaries expanding to something that was speaking what will stay unspoken. Taehyung’s cock sliding so good inside your cunt you were dying with bliss for the night.

He can see you struggle to try and put a hand over your mouth, but the man won’t allow that. Snatching your hand in his grasp “Let her hear," he growls, referring to the maids and starts to fuck the life out of your cunt with no care for how loud you moan or scream.

"Y-your slut," you stutter, feeling him start to raise his hips to meet your weak attempt of grinding back, thrusting upward and matching your sloppy speed. "wanna b-be your slut."

His ego growing higher than before and dick hard as ever, Taehyung taunts, already knowing the answer by your dazed features.

“Oh yeah?” he pants grunting with every roll of his hips, and you can do nothing but give him what he wants. On the brink of tears you whine out broken moans, “So fucking bad, please Tae.”

“Come on." the taller’s strokes turning slow and hard, each one pulling a moan from sweet agape lips. "Cum on my cock.” you’re past coherent, cock drunk with drool slipping down your chin.

The ecstasy bursting through your body at an unimaginable rate,legs feel almost numb, smaller fingers gripping your sheets so hard. Taehyung already knew you would rip them off the corners of your bed, seeing how your own skin burned. Orgasm still sending ripples throughout your tiny body. Shaking as you came down from the high, cock buried deep, cum spilling inside as he keeps your body pressed together, skin to skin. His nose buried in the crook of longer sweaty strands of hair.

You begin to feel the feather kisses he mouthed over the expanse of your neck, his body quivering with the last of his cum filling you up.

“Fuck, yeah, ok.” is all he can do to respond, you can only hum in response as you’re being fucked so mind-numbingly good. Body moving along the bed as you’re fucked open for the year.

Your blissed-out state has the man feeling on top of the world, no case he’s won ever given him this much ecstasy for this feeling of high.

Knowing that the same woman he's been getting off to for months, that was only planned to be handed over to someone else is finally getting fucked. His pretty not so sweet angel drooling all for him, ruined for good by just his cock.

The floaty feeling back to how it was, only stronger than ever, the way Taehyung feels so right up against you.

He comes from his feverish moment of just drilling into you, no awareness for how overwhelming it may be. A smaller hand trying to grab his hand to make him stop, he sees nothing less of rage.

"Move your fucking hand.” he snaps with a hiss, snatching your hand in an iron like grasp.

“only I can touch you like this.” he states, hard and stern as if it’s a plead mixed into question. “Yeah?” of course he has to slap you for you to answer, braindead and cock hungry.

“Yes, all for you!” you squeal, body curling into yourself — he begins to dwell how there is not a real thought behind your eyes but his fingers and cock bearing your only passable thoughts.

He wants to laugh, your poor husband is about to be inadvertently about to be cucked.

You moan at how rough he’s being, every yank, spanking and slap getting you more than riled up. Rambling the typical ‘I love you, I love your cock.’

He’s aggravated, not sure why, deep down knowing. "Look at me and tell me what you want.” no way to receive an answer unless he squeezed a generous hand around your throat.

“Y-you, you, fuck!”

It’s not enough, he wants to laugh at his greediness that will not sate him ever.

Again and again, back and forth. Another slap landed across each apple red cheek, going harder each lashing.

“Again.”

You repeat yourself again, hm, still not enough.

He’s done with himself, frustrated and choosing to vomit his words.

“You’re mine, get that through your fucking head.” his thrusts were past hard and fast, bruising now. He grunted and groaned while you continued to moan and whimper beneath him, going so rough he decided to push your skull deep into the bed. Warm palm covering your face whole, feeling you squeeze involuntarily at being used like an object.

“Atta girl.” He didn't stop, not once. You weren’t asking to anyways just screaming his name for more — no mind here with nodding away into a mess full of bedsheets, trying to wind wobbly hips back on his cock to bounce lewdly.

Taehyung does nothing less but snap sharply against your ass, “So fucking tight, mine."

"C-cum in me tae," you moan, seeing white, reaching down blindly to rub your clit in frantic circles, begging at the idea of the older filling you with his cum. "Fill me up, give-give me a baby."

"Fuuuck," Taehyung growls and groans almost feral "Don't fucking say that shit."

"W-why not?" bratty whines beg “F-fill me up? Don't say that?"

Taehyung grunts, pulling you on him, chest to chest, you clamor to wrap shaky arms around his neck. Fuck, he’s holding you upright, bouncing you straight onto his cock. Falling forward with a squeal, crying in pleasure as the tip of his cock hits your cervix with how deep he is inside.

"Want my cum so fucking bad?" he hums, trying his best to sound unbothered. "I'll fucking give it to you then."

Your legs clamp around his waist as he pounds into you, cock hitting every point inside your body and you’re so close you think you’ll die. You feel Taehyung tense, and then a sudden gush of warmth fill you.

"Fuck me, angel. You feel so good." he gasps through l shut teeth spanking you with every thrust he gave.

At the feeling of him actually listening to what you always wanted, your orgasm blinds you in intensity, the tight coil in your stomach finally snaps. Body seizing, moans loud against his lips, whining a final tired cry to slow down.

The baby clip once stuck to hair now hung loose, the feeling of warm hands kneading hips before he would give harsh slaps to your ass.

"What do you think he would say," he spits out the name with nothing but disgust. “if he saw you like this?" He shifts his hips, "You think he'd ruin your orgasm?" tone patronizingly sympathetic. “Or.. let you cum so prettily, like you always do.”

He tsks at watching how disoriented daze eyes go through the five stages of grief. Writhing in pleasure as eyes fall closed, breath hitched when he finally lays you back down on the bed. Thighs sticky and all, he sighs at the sight.

“Want to show this cunt off to the world."

“Y-you can’t..” you pout, his eyes watching you fall apart all over again at just words being spoken to you.

“Good thing for secrets.” he smirks his mouth almost falling into a snarl, it wasn’t even spoken this would continue. One last time you agreed.. but you want him more than ever even if your situation is doomed.

“Bath?” he mutters with a whisper of soft kisses to your temple, you nod.

He grabs for his cigarettes, you hand him his lighter and wait until the deed was done so you could put them back off to the side again.

It’s been long since you both have took a bath together. He stretches his arms after he successfully calmed his nerves, you light the stick for him, eyes on him as he throws his head back to inhale. Blowing smoke out, body lazing while it filled with nicotine.

You like calm men, men who dont shout or break things when they’re upset. Men who talked to you in a gentle, low voice telling you what made them mad or what you did wrong.

That’s what Taehyung is to you, that’s what made you fall.. hard. You think it over all again in your current predicament, comfortable as ever.

Veiny caramel hands pulling your hips up in the bath for you to be settled nicely. A warm hand fondles your ass lovingly with his other taking puffs of smoke to inhale and exhale lazily, “My pretty girl.” he smiles lopsided before tugging your wobbly hips back down in relief, enjoying the way you whimpered and whined in your own way of retaliation.

Taking mercy before planting a wet kiss on your shoulder to whisper “I love you, Angel.”

Both of you decide on staying silent. Your back rests against his chest, deciding mutually to speak once the cigarette burnt into ashes.

“Does he make you feel safe, like I do?”

You don’t answer.

“I want you, you’re mine no matter what.”

≿━━━━༺❀༻━━━━≾

You are married now.. being due with a fast wedding to no love involved, business as the main goal.

The meets with Taehyung continue and you two make time to fuck when you can — poor Namjoon.

It hurts he thinks.. hurts so bad. Because he’ll have to look at you every month when you come over to be fucked into whatever.

While he is out handling business, leaving him in the spot to fuck you hard and good like he can’t, at least he tried to convince himself of that for his own comfort.

You keep up with the old routine of pillow talk, just to feel the same mundanity this once all was. You think, he doesn’t care what you speak of after he only just poured his dull sad soul into fucking you.

Not caring at how you talk so highly of your new husband and how well you both are adapting with each other. Rambling all on about your blossoming relationship with him, hearing you nervously speak of the plans on having kids together.

Of course not nervous on his behalf, no, no.

Because you are deathly nervous about if you will be a good mother or not, he knows you will, even if things are like this. You think it doesn’t hurt him, when you say genuinely on how he’ll be the “Cool friend of Mommy’s” to your children.

It drives a knife deep into my heart on how you speak so highly of this new life, how well you are adapting. When.. we could have had this.

“Tae..? You there?”

He’s not caring to respond to your rhetoric question that was all well laced of genuine care and worry, Taehyung can be an asshole just this once.

“Do you know what you are?”

You think this is a game of teasing now, he can tell with that pretty smirk plastered on your gorgeous face “What am I, sir?”

It’s too bad that he’s being genuinely serious.

“You’re my girl.”

You don’t take a second to pause, you play into the narrative with a grin that quickly warped into an innocent and sweet smile.

“I’m your girl, Taehyung.”

He only knew that you meant the world to him.. and he, adored you in his mind until it hurt.

[oddinary4bts]

Crazy for You | kth

☆summary:  you’ve known Kim Taehyung your whole life. When you meet again at a party hosted by your best friend, alcohol looses your lips and you spill your secrets to your childhood crush. Will Taehyung give in to your desire, or will you be struck by remorse?

☆pairing:  Kim Taehyung x female reader  

☆rating: 18+

☆genre:  best friend’s older brother to lovers, a little bit of fake dating trope, idol!au, angst, smut, fluff, snippets of life

☆warnings:  alcohol consumption, getting ghosted before the story takes place, lying/hiding the truth to a best friend for months, unclear relationship (and what comes with it aka reader feels cheated on (rightfully so?)), sort of miscommunication? but not really, cursing, mention of a grandparent passing away, a very awkward dinner with all the members and their own readers (no one is named, gets a little redundant? but since everyone is a reader, it had to be done), pregnancy (at the veryyyy end of the fic), explicit content: virgin and unexperienced!reader, dom!tae, praising, fingering, ass slapping, tits play, oral sex (female and male receiving), tied-up sex, whip (not really used in the fic), dirty talking?, protected and unprotected sex, jerking off, taehyung is lowkey a freak

☆word count: 46.8k

☆a/n: as per usual, thank you to the beautiful @moonleeai​ for beta-ing this fic for me. Your work is forever appreciated <3. Also, I really hope you will enjoy reading this. It took me a lot longer to write than my usual fics because I was burned out in December and I just couldn’t function properly but I’m really proud of the result nonetheless! Enjoy your reading <3

Read the other establishments in the Life Goes On series here!

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

               There was a small house at the end of a dirt road, surrounded by trees and fields. When the sun set, it coated the house with golden light, making it stand at the end of the road like it was straight from a postal card. Bushes sprinkled with wildflowers stood on the two sides of the red door that was always left open. It led into a kitchen that had held laughter, tears and late-night conversations, along with home cooked food made with love.

You had grown up in that house next to your best friend Eunjin and her two brothers, Taehyung and Jeongyu, and your own brother. Though Taehyung had left when you were still young, moving to Seoul to pursue his training. It had led to you being a lot closer to Jeongyu even though you were mostly Eunjin’s friend. Your own brother had followed after Taehyung, always being closer to the older Kim sibling in the first place.

The house at the end of the road was pretty, with a cozy look to it that made you want to settle down after a long day of work. As your car pulled in the driveway, memories of your childhood came back to you, bringing a smile to your lips.

You remembered playing soccer with Eunjin, her siblings and your brother, and chasing after frogs on rainy days. You had come home covered in mud from the fields more than once, yet Eunjin’s parents had always been nice about it. Same as her grandmother had been, though the older lady had passed away a few years ago.

Your car slowed down as you neared the house until it came to a full stop. You took the keys out of the engine, gaze wandering on the different cars you could see.

Eunjin had organized a small get-together with close friends to celebrate her getting the job she had always dreamed about. Some of her family was also going to be there, cousins that you had seen many times before. All the cars you could recognize, except the gray one that was the nearest to the house. It had your brows furrow as you threw your car door open and stepped out.

You breathed in the fresh air of October, eyes shutting as you let yourself absorb the cool aura of the countryside. You hadn’t been here in years, ever since you had moved to Seoul, and you were glad to be back. So you took your time to breathe in the air and the atmosphere, letting it bring you back to days when you didn’t know what it was to be surrounded by concrete, only knowing fields and open air.

Your eyes eventually fluttered open, gaze moving to the front porch of the house. There was a figure standing there, a man you hadn’t expected to see.

Kim Taehyung was leaning against one of the pillars holding the small roof of the porch, a quaint knowing smile on his lips. You didn’t know how long he had been standing there, and you blushed as you took in the sight of him.

Taehyung was wearing a pair of brown dress pants along with a pale loose shirt that was tucked into the pants. He had rolled up his sleeves, revealing the tan skin of his forearms and the expensive watch on his wrist, and his hair was pushed back as if he had run his hands through it too many times.

You met his gaze in the distance, gulping as he seemingly looked you up and down once before his eyes locked with yours again.

“Y/n”, he greeted you.

“Taehyung”, you said back, eyes falling to a puddle in the dirt in front of you. You bowed, just a little, before glancing behind you at your duffel bag on the backseat.

Taehyung’s gaze followed you as you grabbed it before starting to walk towards him. There was something weird about the aura surrounding him and you weren’t quite sure if it was because you hadn’t seen him in almost six years or because the confident smile on his lips intimidated you.

Maybe it was a little bit of both.

You met his gaze again as you stopped in front of him, offering him a tight-lipped smile. “I didn’t know you were going to be here”, you admitted and he shrugged his shoulders.

“Eunjin made me stop here on the way back from Busan”, Taehyung explained. “After the concert.”

You had heard about that concert. A free concert that had rocked the whole world for a time. It was strange to think that Taehyung was so famous, especially as he stood in front of you, with that same childish glint in his eyes that he had when he was younger. It was stranger to think that you were friends with his sister and that your life somehow was intertwined with Taehyung’s.

“Oh”, you let out. Your eyes slid to the door, right as it opened to reveal your best friend.

“Y/n!” Eunjin squealed as she ran out, wrapping her arms around your neck. “I’ve missed you so much.”

You chuckled, hugging her with one arm. “We were together a week ago”, you reminded her.

She tutted as she pulled away, grabbing your duffel bag from you and handing it to her brother. “Why don’t you make yourself useful and bring that inside, asshole?”

Taehyung rolled his eyes at his sister, before meeting your gaze. “I’ll do it for you, not for her.” He offered his sister a glare and then winked as he met your eyes over her head.

It left you with a dumbfounded look on your face as Taehyung disappeared inside. Eunjin’s brows knit together, and she turned towards you. “What the fuck was that?”

You were as confused as she was, so you simply shrugged your shoulders before motioning to the inside of the house. “Should we go in?”

Eunjin didn’t seem like she wanted to let it go, yet she didn’t mention it again as she pulled you in behind her. “Everyone’s already arrived.”

Indeed, as soon as you walked in you were greeted by a crowd of friends, along with the family members Eunjin had mentioned would be there. They greeted you warmly, but your eyes diverged to the stairs as Taehyung walked down them. He pushed his hair back, his gaze meeting yours for a few seconds. He offered you a tight-lipped smile as he raised his eyebrows, but Eunjin pulled you away before you could reply.

All it did was bring a light blush to your cheeks, one you did your best to ignore as Eunjin handed you a bottle of beer.

“Drink up, you’ve got some catching up to do”, she told you.

You let out a small laugh. “I don’t drink beer.”

Eunjin rolled her eyes, fists resting against her hips. “You will today.” She glanced at a spot over your shoulder. “I have a feeling you’re going to need it.”

Her words were immediately punctuated by cheers, and you turned your head towards the sound to see some of your friends cheering one of Eunjin’s family members as he chugged a beer. Your eyes widened, and you resumed your attention on your friend.

“What is going on here?” you asked.

You had never done parties like that. Had never really been allowed to do parties like that. It surprised you that Eunjin’s parents were letting it happen under their roof, yet Eunjin just brushed it off with a shrug of her shoulders.

“My parents told me that as long as we don’t break anything I can throw a party like in the movies.”

You looked at her pointedly. “Don’t people always break stuff at parties like in the movies?”

Eunjin laughed heartily, shaking her head. “Not under oppa’s careful attention.” You followed her line of gaze to see Taehyung punching his cousin in the shoulder before leaning in to say something in the young man’s ear. His enthusiasm seemed to deflate for a time, until Taehyung offered him a winning smile that had the happiness bleed back into the young man’s features. “He’s telling everyone to stop when they get too intense.”

It was unlike Taehyung, or rather unlike the Taehyung you had known years ago. Taehyung had always been the first one to want to have fun, to pull pranks on his siblings or to tease everyone and everything around him. There was still that same mischievous glint in his eyes today, but as the oldest he seemed to take his responsibilities seriously.

You wondered what his parents had told him to make him behave like that.

“Good thing he’s here then”, you said, before taking a swig of your beer.

You winced at the taste and the bitterness it left behind and Eunjin laughed at your expression. “Oh come on, it’s just a little beer.”

“Drink it then”, you said, pushing the beer towards her.

She shook her head and before she could speak, her younger brother threw an arm around her shoulder.

“Y/n!” Jeongyu greeted you. He had a large grin on his face, one that made his eyes crinkle at the corners. “I’ve missed you.”

“And yet you choose to hug your sister?” you teased him. “Come here.”

Jeongyu laughed, a little drunkenly, before stumbling into your open arms. He hugged you firmly, lifting you off the ground. You let out a yelp and your eyes met Taehyung’s as he moved closer.

You couldn’t quite read his expression, but he seemed surprised. As if he hadn’t really seen you before.

“What’s gotten into you?” Taehyung asked. For a moment, you thought he was addressing you as his eyes still held your gaze, but he tapped his brother’s shoulder.

Jeongyu immediately put you down, before offering a small pout to Taehyung. “Just happy to see Y/n, hyung.”

Taehyung arched an eyebrow prettily. “No need to crush her like that.”

“It’s fine”, you reassured the man as Jeongyu let you go. You met his gaze, offering him a bright smile. “I’ve missed you too, Jeongyu.”

A crooked grin appeared on the younger man’s lips. “How has Seoul been, nuna?”

The three siblings put their full attention on you. Usually, when it was just Eunjin and Jeongyu, you found it easy to talk to them. But right now, under Taehyung’s attentive gaze, you found you didn’t really know what to say.

“Uh”, you let out. “It’s been good.”

“Do you still work at the same office?” Taehyung asked. He furrowed his brows slightly. “What was it again?”

“Yes, I still work at the same place”, you answered. You chuckled, and a slight blush moved on your cheeks. “Still work for Samsung.”

Taehyung pursed his lips. “I don’t know how I managed to forget that.”

“Maybe because you haven’t seen her in years”, Eunjin pointed out.

Your best friend’s words ended the conversation, and you looked down at the floor as you took a sip of the beer. The liquid was as disgusting as it had been a moment ago, but it kept you occupied for a time, as the siblings started bickering.

If one thing hadn’t changed between the three of them, it was their constant bickering. Taehyung looked a lot younger then, and you found it easier to hold his gaze. The blush stubbornly remained on your cheeks, but you had always been the type to blush easily. Especially when alcohol was involved.

And Kim Taehyung, apparently.

Soon enough, the group of you moved to join the rest of the people attending Eunjin’s celebration. You found yourself sitting together with the friends you had gone to high school with, while Taehyung and Jeongyu moved to stand with their family members. Eunjin kept going from one crowd to another, ever so the social butterfly, accepting the congratulations people were offering her without even batting an eyelash.

Every now and then, your gaze slid towards Taehyung. You caught the older man looking at you on more than one occasion, and each time he offered you one of his tight-lipped smiles. The times when he wasn’t looking brought you back to when you were younger. To when you were fourteen and crushing on your best friend’s older brother.

You hadn’t thought that that crush still existed until butterflies swam in your belly at the sight of Taehyung’s boxy smile as he laughed at someone’s joke.

You looked away then, figuring it was better to ignore Taehyung. And it was, as you were surrounded by a crowd of your friends, and everyone of them were buzzing with energy. Jests were exchanged between the group, inside jokes you hadn’t thought you remembered as you all reminisced about high school.

The party kept going on for longer than you thought, even though most people weren’t sleeping over. You found yourself drinking more than you had expected, as you realized that beer didn’t taste so bad after your third bottle. It had your mind swirling in the sweet ecstasy of alcohol, and your initial repulsion to the idea of drinking disappeared into thin air.

If you were to party, you’d party grandly until dawn would inch to the horizon, tainting the sky in bright colors. And you did just that, joining Eunjin in a couple of alcohol games. It was fun with her cheering you on, and you won more than half of them, beating most of your friends. Your successful streak ended when you played against Taehyung and Jeongyu, though Jeongyu didn’t contribute to the game a lot. Indeed, Taehyung told him to sit down on the couch, as the younger man was far too drunk to even stand straight. It made you laugh, and you stumbled a little, taking an unexpected step towards Taehyung.

Taehyung caught your elbow and you looked up to meet his gaze. He had a stern expression on his face as if he disapproved of you drinking. You furrowed your eyebrows, before shrugging off his grip on your arm.

“Is something wrong?” you asked.

He seemed surprised by the outburst, and his eyebrows shot towards his hairline. “Ah, no, everything is okay.”

There was an awkward silence between the two of you, and you only then realized that Eunjin had been pulled away by one of her cousins.

Taehyung had pretty eyes. A dark gaze, one that you felt as if you were falling in as you looked at him. It had your mind turning dizzy, which wasn’t quite a great mix with the amount of alcohol you had ingested. Taehyung must have noticed your face paling because he grabbed your hand ever so gently, before pulling you behind him.

“What are you doing?” you asked, even though you offered him no resistance whatsoever.

He glanced at you over his shoulder, a strand of dark hair falling in his eyes. “You look like you need some fresh air.”

You knew he was right, but something about him making the decision for you felt wrong.

“I can be the judge of that”, you said, planting your heels in the ground.

Taehyung didn’t stop, though he offered you a small laugh. That laugh did things to your mind that you couldn’t quite explain, though it made you stumble forward. You fell against Taehyung’s back, face digging in the soft fabric of his shirt.

You inhaled a whiff of his cologne as you tried to regain your footing, and when you finally were able to stand by yourself, you realized your hand had wrapped around one of his biceps. Your other fingers were still prisoners of his hand and you blushed before letting your hand fall to your side.

“Sorry.”

Your apology was uttered barely above a whisper, but you were standing so close you knew he had heard it. Or maybe you knew because his grip on your fingers tightened, his thumb brushing the back of your hand.

“It’s okay”, he reassured you. “Let’s just get some fresh air for you.”

This time, you obeyed, not feeling like making a fool out of yourself again. Your lips instinctively formed a pout, but you followed Taehyung across the living room, up until you reached the front door. He glanced over his shoulder and you tried to meet his gaze but he was looking over your shoulder. You followed his line of sight, though found yourself unable to figure out what he had been looking at before he pulled you out, shutting the door gently behind him.

The world outside was dark. Fresh, and it smelled of humidity and soil, and all the smells autumn holds. Taehyung had let your hand go as soon as you were outside and you took a step forward, moving away from the light of the porch as your eyes instinctively looked up to the sky and the endless blanket of stars. The moon was hidden somewhere and all you could see were all the little imprints of light up there, promises of worlds unexplored by humanity. Worlds that had maybe died a long time ago, yet their existence was just now reaching Earth.

You wondered if there was someone out there, looking out at their own stars and seeing the Sun. It was a strange thought to have for your drunk mind, yet it strangely sobered you up as you felt small.

“Do you think we’re alone in the universe?” you asked.

You glanced back at Taehyung. He was still standing next to the door, hands in his pockets, and he had a bewildered expression on his face. Eyes slightly widened and mouth hanging open, as if he was about to say something. Yet he remained silent and the way his eyes met yours felt intimate somehow. Like you indeed were alone in the universe, the last bastion of humanity, and Taehyung was taking the sight in.

It felt strange to be looked at like that when no man had ever looked at you for more than a few seconds.

“Sometimes I think we are”, Taehyung finally replied. He took a few steps towards you before craning his neck to look up at the stars. It had you resume your attention on the night sky, right as Taehyung spoke again. “But then I think the world is never-ending, and new stars are born every day and I realize the odds that we’re the only place that life happened are way too slim.”

You remained silent, taking his words in. They were weird in your dizzy state, though you did feel more sober now that you were outside. Now that you were alone with Taehyung and not stuck inside a too-warm house. A house that you would always consider a home, but really you weren’t quite sure you were one for parties like the one Eunjin was throwing.

Or maybe you just had too much to drink.

“When you begin to think about it, what were the odds of life happening?” you mumbled, a little more to yourself. “Like, what were the odds that our ancestors would exist and then have babies up until our parents and like…” you trailed off, brows furrowed as you tried to make sense of the thoughts in your head. “Like what were the odds that we both would be standing here tonight, looking at the stars?”

Taehyung let out a laugh. A clear sound in the fall night, that warmed it up just a little bit. “Are you drunk or high?”

“I’m just saying, life is a series of coincidences”, you said. You glared at him, brows knitted together, only to find him already looking at you.

You could only see half of his face in the dim light coming in from the porch. The half you could see was soft, the visible eye filled with an emotion you couldn’t decipher. All you knew was that it made the eye sparkle a little, with a glint that put the stars to shame. The other half of his face was casted in shadows, yet it didn’t hide how handsome Taehyung was.  

And he really fucking was.

“Well, I’m happy this coincidence brought you here tonight”, Taehyung said.

You didn’t know what to say, only knew that you were weirdly attracted to him. Like a moth to a flame and you knew you were going to get burned. For some reason you couldn’t stop.

“I can’t believe it’s been like six years since we’ve seen each other”, you murmured.

Taehyung’s lips spread in the tiniest little smile. “I’ve been pretty busy.”

“I always thought we were friends”, you muttered, and your eyes moved away from his face, looking up at the sky once again. Maybe because you didn’t have the strength to look him in the eye while you were to speak your next words. “I was sad when you stopped replying to my texts.”

Taehyung tensed next to you. It made the night air a little colder, and you shivered as a heavy silence moved between you.

It was true. You had used to talk to Taehyung once in a while, encouraging him and congratulating him whenever BTS had won awards. You had acted with him like you acted with Jeongyu, treating him like someone you were close to… but then one day he had started replying with short messages instead of sentences, and then it had moved to emojis. And one day he had just stopped replying and you had been left wondering what you had done wrong.

For a long time you had thought he had known that you had been crushing on him. It had been over then, but you had always imagined it could explain why he just had stopped replying.

Eunjin had never known. No matter how close you were to her, you had never dared tell her that you had feelings for her brother, and you hadn’t mentioned that Taehyung had sort of ghosted you. If she had noticed she hadn’t said a thing.

“Life just got in the way, I guess”, Taehyung said. His voice was low, as if he too was aware of just how bad the excuse sounded. “I never meant to stop replying.”

You were pretty sure he had, but it was water under the bridge.

“Whatever, I don’t really care”, you joked, nudging him with your elbow. “At least I got to see your sorry face today.”

Your voice was strained, even to your ears. It felt awkward to be speaking to him like that and you wished you could take the words back.

“We were friends, if that can reassure you.” Taehyung ignored your last comment as he continued, “You were always like a little sister to me.”

The words didn’t sting like you had thought they would. Maybe because he had employed the past tense.

“Anyway.” You chuckled, granting him a glance. He was looking up at the sky, and you followed him, eyes moving to the many constellations that were lighting up the night. “How has this whole BTS thing been going? You are so big now.”

The atmosphere seemed to shift, falling back into a warmer state. “It’s been crazy. I still can’t believe I get to live this life.”

“I mean.” You paused, wetting your lips. “You worked hard for it, you deserve it.”

There was another silence, and a soft breeze moved on your features, though its coldness had you shivering again. You hoped Taehyung didn’t notice, because you didn’t feel like going back inside just yet.

“Thank you”, Taehyung breathed. “It does get…” He chuckled, as if he hadn’t meant to speak.

“What?” you asked, and your eyes trailed to him.

“It gets lonely sometimes”, he finished, meeting your gaze. The raw truth behind his words almost had you stumbling back. “Especially now that we aren’t doing everything together anymore.”

You felt sorry for him, yet you didn’t have any words of reassurance to offer. You lived a far simpler life than his, with a small crowd of friends that you kept close to you. You didn’t feel lonely, though at times you did picture yourself having someone around, someone more. It was a strange thought to have, one that had never really crossed your mind before. You didn’t know if it was because you were getting older, and everyone around you had already lived through many relationships.

Then again it wasn’t like you had ever been interested in a relationship anyway.

“I’m sorry”, you apologized. You didn’t know what for.

He shrugged his shoulders, eyes trailing back to the sky. “Don’t be.” It was his turn to nudge you with an elbow. “It’s not like it’s your fault.”

He wasn’t wrong and you had nothing to answer to that.

“Do you have anybody in your life?” he asked after some time.

Confusion moved through you, and a crease appeared between your eyebrows. “I mean, I have Eunjin and my family. Even Jeongyu and the rest of them.”

He threw you a no-bullshit look. “You know I didn’t mean that.”

That… That? Was Taehyung asking you if you were dating anyone?

“What?” you let out. You flushed red, and if it wasn’t for the remnants of the alcohol in your system you probably wouldn’t have been able to speak. “Why do you want to know that?”

He laughed at your flustered state. “I’m just trying to make conversation.”

You squinted your eyes as you looked at him, a little suspiciously. It had him laughing this time, boxy smile on display.

You were pretty sure that smile could stop wars.

“No”, you breathed out. “I’ve never dated anyone.”

Maybe that was too much of a truth, yet it fell from your mouth with nothing to stop it. Taehyung looked surprised, and his brows moved up.

“Why?”

You shrugged your shoulders, looking away from him as a warm flush coursed through your upper body. “I don’t know. I’ve never really been interested in a relationship before.”

He pondered about it for a time. “You sound like it has changed.”

“I don’t really know.” You pursed your lips, before saying, “It just feels weird to be twenty-six and to haven’t even had my first kiss yet.”

You hated yourself. You hated yourself and your stupid mouth that never knew when to shut up. You hated yourself even more as your words met a stunned silence. You wanted to decipher the expression on his face, but you couldn’t even bring yourself to look at him.

What a coward you were.

“There’s nothing wrong with that”, Taehyung said. He spoke carefully, as if he was afraid he’d speak the wrong words.

Oh.

“No I know.” You chuckled, wetting your lips before biting the bottom one in a nervous manner. “It’s just that I’d want to have done it all, just never had the opportunity.” You pursed your lips, furrowing your brows. “I mean, I had opportunities, just wasn’t interested until I realized I’m a little old for this.”

Taehyung chuckled beside you, a deep baritone sound that put a stop to the spiel of words falling from your mouth. “You’re not too old, Y/n.”

The way he said your name in that low voice of his… your mind went haywire.

“Everyone does it in their own time.” He turned until he was facing you, before grabbing your hand again, like he had been holding it when you had first come outside. “You’re freezing, we should get back inside.”

Only you weren’t ready to let the conversation go. “I’m fine.” You didn’t pull your hand away from his as you continued, “Do you think I’m attractive?”

From the way he was standing, more light was illuminating his features. So, you could see his jaw clenching as he held your gaze unblinkingly, eyes turning dark. “You’re drunk, Y/n, let’s get you to bed.”

“You didn’t answer the question.”

He sighed, eyes dipping to your lips. “Yes, you are. Why would you think you aren’t?”

“You’re saying that just to make me happy.”

He chuckled, the sound a little bitter, entirely different from his previous small laughs. “I’m saying it because it is a fact.”

You took a step closer to him, angling your face up so he could gaze down at you.

Drunk you really was a menace to sober you, wasn’t she? Because you weren’t talking about kissing. You were talking about so much more, and you could tell Taehyung knew.

“Prove it”, you breathed.

His eyes widened again, but soon they were overcome by darkness, a cloud that covered the light you had seen there before. He wet his lips, looking at you, shaking his head slightly as if he didn’t believe you were real. He then leaned down to speak into your ear. “You just want to be touched, do you?”

Your blood started boiling in your veins at the feeling of his warm breath on the side of your face. “I want to know why people like sex that much.”

“I could show you.”

To have Kim Taehyung say that to you turned you into playdough. Playdough that he could mold into whatever shape he preferred and you didn’t even care. It was your teenager self’s fantasy after all.

And maybe you should have been worried, by his willingness to show you. Maybe you should have been ticked off by it, yet you still found yourself whispering, “Please show me, Tae.”

He didn’t move or say anything for a long time. So long that you found yourself pulling away, up until you could gaze at his features.

His eyes were closed but at the feeling of your gaze on him, his eyelids fluttered open. “You’re drunk”, he repeated his previous words. Yet the dark look hadn’t left his features, the low tone hadn’t left his voice. “Let’s see if you still feel the same tomorrow.”

There was a high chance that you’d just be embarrassed as all hell, yet you found yourself agreeing. Because really you wanted to die under the intensity of Taehyung’s gaze. No one had ever looked at you like that before, and you didn’t want him to look away. You were aware it was the alcohol singing in your blood, and it would all come crashing down when you’d wake up with a pounding headache the next day. Yet you found yourself agreeing.

Maybe because the devil had never looked as good as Taehyung did.

 *****

                 Light poured through the window next to which you were sleeping, encasing you in a prison of warmth and brightness that made you wake up feeling dehydrated. Your blood was pumping in your ears and your whole body felt as if it was burning. You cracked an eye open, wincing as the sun blinded you. You put a hand on your face, letting out a small whimper, before sitting up on the mattress, face turning away from the window.

You only then opened your eyes again, freezing when you noticed where you were.

Taehyung’s bedroom. You were sleeping in Taehyung’s bedroom. You looked around, eyes skimming over the familiar furniture, heart beating out of your chest. It made you dizzy again, as you tried to remember what happened last night.

You didn’t remember a lot, after that conversation you had with him outside. But what you remembered of the conversation had you wanting to throw yourself off a cliff. You had flirted with Taehyung. He had flirted back, had told you he could show you…

Just the thought of it had you letting out a small curse, and your head fell into your hands. What had you done?

“Good morning”, Jeongyu said from the doorframe.

You startled, looking between your fingers. He had a shit-eating grin on his face. “What?” you let out.

He chuckled. “Why are you wearing Taehyung’s t-shirt?”

You glanced down at your chest and sure enough, you were clad in a white Celine t-shirt, one you knew fully well belonged to Taehyung.

“Aish, what is going on?” you mumbled, hands falling in your lap.

“Don’t worry, hyung slept on the couch downstairs. You were pretty wasted last night.”

Blood rushed to your cheeks. “Did I do anything weird?”

“Not particularly”, Jeongyu said, shrugging his shoulders. “I was pretty wasted myself. Honestly, only Taehyung was sober.”

Taehyung was sober and still had told you what he had? What hell had you stepped into?

“Why are you guys so loud?” Eunjin grumbled. She came into view, her hair a mess as she let out a yawn. It took her a moment to register that you were currently sitting in her brother’s bed, wearing one of his shirts. When she did focus on the scene, her eyes widened and her mouth fell open. “What the fuck?”

Jeongyu punched her in the shoulder. “You’re lucky appa didn’t hear you say that.”

There were so many questions in Eunjin’s eyes it had you chuckling awkwardly.

“I don’t know”, you said, running a hand through your hair. “I don’t know anything.”

“Bitch, you better have some explanation”, Eunjin replied and she walked in, making her way to you. She put her fists against her hips, and you let out another laugh as she stopped in front of you.

“Ayt, I’m out”, Jeongyu said before disappearing.

“Did you sleep with my brother?” Eunjin asked.

You winced at the sound of her voice, eyes shutting. “Why are you speaking so loud?”

She huffed, stomping on the ground. “Answer me, Y/n.”

You cracked an eye open, meeting your best friend’s gaze. “I don’t remember last night but I don’t think I did.”

“Where’s the fucker anyway?”

You shrugged your shoulders. “No idea.”

And really, Taehyung was nowhere to be found. Even when you and Eunjin finally made your way downstairs, Taehyung wasn’t there. A look out the window of the living room told you that his car wasn’t in the front yard anymore, and you tried to hide your disappointment as best as you could.

You hadn’t expected him to leave so soon after what he had told you that he could show you. Teach you even, about sex. It made your embarrassment ten times worse, especially as Eunjin kept pressing for questions. Questions you didn’t have answers to because, frankly, you hadn’t a clue as to how you had ended up in Taehyung’s room.

It was a confusing shitshow indeed.

It remained that way for two weeks, as you went back to Seoul and to your regular office life. Focusing on work helped to get your mind off of Taehyung’s words, and of the shame that choked you up whenever you thought about what you had said to him.

The worst part about it all was that Taehyung didn’t talk to you at all. Didn’t text you, didn’t call. Some part of you had expected him to, the foolish part of you that had been reminded of your crush on him. But no, Taehyung became a ghost in your life again, as if Eunjin’s party had never happened.

Eunjin, on the other hand, didn’t become a ghost at all. No, your best friend forced you to hang out far more than you usually did, as if she was still reeling from getting her new job. You didn’t blame her, it was her dream job after all. But it did get tiring, as you went out for drinks a couple of nights in a row, with people she knew and you didn’t. She always made sure that you felt included, but you had always been a little more on the introverted side.

Maybe that was why you found yourself deciding to leave early on the latest night out. You had been drinking soju with Eunjin and her new coworkers, playing drinking games that had your blood slowly fill with alcohol. The fresh air helped the dizziness that had taken over you and you walked in the night, content with your sudden loneliness. You watched the people around you, bowing your head politely, and soon enough you found a snack stand. You were ordering some tteokbokki for yourself when your phone rang in your purse.

You fumbled with the zipper of the purse, drunk fingers clumsy as they tried to hold on to it. It took you a moment but soon enough you fished your phone out of your purse, fingers holding onto it as if it was a treasure. The lady behind the little snack bar offered you a curious glance but you ignored her as you picked up the call right before it went to voicemail.

“Hi!” you let out happily, hiding your mouth behind your hand when you realized how loud you had spoken. There was silence on the other side of the line, apart from the sound of music. You furrowed your brows, assuming it was Eunjin. “Eunjin-ah, I’m on my way home.”

There was a chuckle. A man’s chuckle. A surprisingly deep chuckle. You looked at the screen of your phone, blinking a few times at the name you read. Taehyung. Why the fuck was Taehyung calling you now?

“Hi, Y/n”, he said.

You quickly put the phone against your ear again. “Why are you calling me?”

“I wanted to hear your voice”, he answered, his deep baritone voice sending shivers down your spine.

You scoffed. “You don’t talk to me for two weeks and then you tell me that?”

He didn’t reply for a long time, as if he felt guilty. You really hoped he did because he totally deserved it.

“I’ve been busy”, he replied. “But I’m hosting a party right now and it’s missing you.”

You barely heard his words as the snack lady offered you your tteokbokki. You thanked her before moving towards one of the empty wooden tables that stood next to the stand.

“What?” you said once you were sitting.

“Do you want to come over?” Taehyung asked.

You furrowed your brows, holding your phone with your shoulder as you opened the paper pack that held your chopsticks. “I’m eating.”

“Where are you?”

You looked around, startling when a car honked in the street. “At a snack bar next to Eunjin’s work.”

“I’ll come get you”, Taehyung said. He sounded determined, and it made you laugh. “Why are you laughing?”

“Why do you want to come get me?” you asked, digging your chopsticks in the tteokbokki. It was rosé tteokbokki, and you couldn’t help the little content hum you let out as you ate.

“What was that?” Taehyung asked.

He sounded like he was moving away from the music and soon enough all you could hear was the sound of his breathing.

“My rosé tteokbokki is hitting good”, you replied. “Please don’t come, though.”

“I want to see you”, he said matter-of-factly. “I’m coming no matter what you say.”

You pouted. “You don’t even know where I am.”

“You’re at the tteokbokki stand near Eunjin’s work”, he pointed out. “That should be easy enough to find.”

You whined. “Please, Taehyung, I’m drunk, I don’t want to see you.”

“Well good thing the drive is going to take a while, you’ll have plenty of time to sober up.” He paused, and you could hear a car door opening and closing.

“I’ll be gone by the time you get here.”

You could almost hear him rolling his eyes on his side of the line. “Do you even live within walking distance from Eunjin’s work?”

Your stubborn silence was answer enough.

“See, just send me your location and I’ll drive you home”, he said.

You looked up at the sky, watching the moon behind the clouds. “You said something about a party, no?”

The sound of the engine coming to live covered your words, right as the call switched to his car’s Bluetooth.

“What did you say?”

You wet your lips. “You mentioned a party when I got my tteokbokki.”

“I’m hosting a party right now, but it doesn’t matter”, he replied.

“Can you even drive?”

He chuckled. “I have stopped drinking for a little over two months.”

So he had been sober at Eunjin’s party? You winced, hiding your face in your hand. “Gosh.”

“What?”

You shrugged. “Nothing.”

There was a long silence, as you focused on eating the tteokbokki. Anything to not think about how embarrassed you were. Taehyung didn’t hang up though, as if he wanted to make sure you weren’t going to bail on him. Truthfully, you didn’t really want to walk home alone, not now that Taehyung had reminded you of just how long the walk would have been.

“Can you share your location?” Taehyung asked after a few minutes of silence.

You bit your lower lip, pulling the phone away from your ear so you could do so. “Did you get it?” you asked as soon as you were done.

“Yeah.” There was a brief pause, and Taehyung let out a small chuckle. “Eunjin got you drunk and left you alone once again?”

Your brows knitted together. “What?”

“Like at her party”, he pointed out.

You winced, shaking your head. “I doubt this is like her party.” You ate some tteokbokki, appreciating the flavor before swallowing. “How did I even get to your bedroom?”

“I carried you to bed because you were starting to pass out on the couch”, he admitted. “You don’t remember?” There was a vulnerability in his words, as if he regretted his actions.

“No”, you let out. “Thank you for taking care of me.”

He remained silent, but you could imagine the smile that was playing on his lips.

“When should you be here?” you asked after a time.

“ETA should be fifteen minutes”, he answered. “You still have some tteokbokki left?”

You looked down at the almost empty bowl. “There won’t be when you arrive.”

He laughed. “That’s okay, I’m not hungry.”

You nodded, finishing your bowl as Taehyung focused on driving. You brought it back to the lady before sitting back at the table, eyes going up to the sky. It reminded you of when you had stargazed with Taehyung, and all the things you had told him.

“I’m sorry”, you apologized.

“About what?”

You shrugged. “For what I said at Eunjin’s party. I shouldn’t have told you all of that.”

“It’s okay”, Taehyung reassured you. “That’s why I kept my distance.”

His words rang in your ears for a time, and blush crept on your cheeks. “Oh.”

“But I figured two weeks was plenty enough”, he added, as if he had sensed your disappointment. “I missed being close to you.”

Your blush only deepened as you played with the hem of your shirt. “Have you?”

“Of course I did”, he said. “You’ve always been important to me.”

You pursed your lips, suppressing the smile that had wanted to form on your lips. “Then it’s a good thing you called me tonight.”

“It truly is.”

You shared another silence, one so long you almost thought Taehyung had fallen asleep on his side of the line. Hadn’t you known he was driving you might have hung up, but you wanted to stay with him.

That damn crush.

“I’ll be there in a few minutes”, Taehyung said. “Are you asleep?”

“No”, you replied, suppressing the yawn that you had almost let out. “I’m just chilling.”

“Good.” He paused, and you wondered what he was thinking. You wondered what had made him decide to come back into your life like that.

It was hard to know, as Taehyung had always been private about his life. Even when he was younger he had never really shared anything with you. Maybe that was just because you were his sister’s friend and not his, or maybe it was the age gap. Not that he was all that older, but three years could be a lot sometimes, especially growing up.

“I’m parking the car”, Taehyung told you. “Are you okay with walking to the corner of the street?”

You glanced at it, noticing the same SUV that had been at their parents’ house the day of Eunjin’s party. “Are you in the gray SUV?”

“Yeah.”

A rush of adrenaline coursed through your blood. “I can see you.”

He chuckled. “I think I see you too.”

A shy smile broke on your lips as you got up. “Don’t look at me walking, it’s just going to be awkward.”

“I don’t think anything can be awkward between us after what you said two weeks ago”, Taehyung teased. You could hear the smirk in his voice and it made you stop in your tracks.

“Taehyung!” you shrieked.

He laughed heartily, a laugh that had your insides feeling weirdly warm. “I’m just playing with you, come here.”

You obeyed, eyes focusing on the cracks in the cement. You were too afraid to catch Taehyung’s gaze if you looked up. “I’m going to hang up now”, you mumbled, and Taehyung let out another laugh that was cut off by the line going out.

You reached his car, walking around it to open the passenger door. Taehyung offered you a warm smile as you got in, one of his boxy smiles that used to make you go crazy when you were younger. After what he had just said, all you wanted was to punch his teeth in, but you instead chose to stare at a spot on the dash.

“Hey there”, he greeted you as if you hadn’t been talking over the phone for a while already.”

“Hey.”

He ran a hand through his hair. “Well, where do you live?”

You blushed, glancing at him once. “Let me put it into your phone’s GPS.”

He nodded, offering you his phone. You quickly put the address in, before handing the device back to him. His long fingers closed around yours as he grabbed the phone, sending shivers right through your spine.

Taehyung had attractive hands. You had always been aware of it, but having his fingers on you, even though it was barely a touch… it made your insides go crazy.

“Damn, it’s a longer drive than I thought”, he said.

You nodded, playing with the hem of your shirt again. “Yeah, I wouldn’t have made it home by foot.” You met his gaze then, right as he turned his key in the ignition and the engine sparked to life again. “Thank you for coming to get me.”

“Anytime”, he said, and his features melted into a softness that made you look away once again. “I’m sorry Eunjin left you alone.”

“She did not!” you quickly said, a defensive tone taking over your voice. “She would never leave me alone.” You threw him a glance, only to notice he had an eyebrow cocked and he was holding in a smile. “What?” you let out.

He chuckled, eyes darting towards you before focusing on the road again. “Why are you so quick to defend her when it’s clear that that’s what happened?”

A small angry pout formed on your lips. “I chose to leave because I didn’t know her friends and it was awkward.” You folded your arms on your chest, looking outside the window. “I’m a grown woman, I can make my own decisions.”

“Like telling me that you are a virgin?”

Your eyes rounded in surprise as you turned towards him so quickly your neck almost hurt. “Taehyung, what the hell!”

He laughed heartily again, and the sound had your insides filling with butterflies. “I’m just teasing you.”

“Please don’t.”

You exchanged a quick look before his eyes slid to the road again. You hoped he hadn’t noticed your turning a scarlet red from his words, but you were pretty sure he had. For all his teasing and childishness, Taehyung was a very observant person.

“I’m sorry”, he apologized after a time.

You sighed, pursing your lips. “It’s okay.”

Silence engulfed you, and you looked outside at the lights of the city again, leaning against the car door to get a better view. You could feel Taehyung’s occasional glance on your profile, and you tried not to let it get to your head.

Tried and failed, as you realized you were currently sitting in his car. Just the two of you, far from the usual setting that your friendship consisted of back in Daegu. As if time hadn’t changed anything between you, except where the friendship took place. In the neon lights of the world outside, Taehyung looked as if he hadn’t changed at all, as if he was still the boy you had had a crush on.

Or maybe that was only because your crush had definitely come back now, playing with your mind as you tried to ignore him.

“Do you want to listen to any music?” he enquired, his deep voice sending a chill through your spine.

You hadn’t expected the question, and your eyes slid to his handsome profile. “Uh, what do you listen to?”

“Lots of different stuff”, he said, catching your gaze for half a second before looking away. “Mostly jazz though.”

A soft smile grew on your lips. “Right, you’ve always loved jazz.”

He chuckled. “How do you know that?”

You flushed pink, once again looking away. “You’ve made it pretty obvious.” You cleared your throat, trying to hide the embarrassment that was choking you. “Don’t you play the trumpet or something?”

“I do.” He ran a hand through his hair, the motion catching your attention. “I play many instruments.”

You knew. You had heard him play many of them in the past, and had even played with him when you were younger, when he was just your best friend’s older brother.

“Do you remember when we did a show for your parents and your grandmother?” you asked, as the memory came forth in your mind, overpowering your other thoughts.

You could still see the scene. You had been in the field behind their house, with Taehyung playing the saxophone while Eunjin played the violin. You had just been playing around with your flute, and Jeongyu had refused to participate saying it was going to be a horrendous show, your brother tagging along with him. They hadn’t been wrong, and the whole thing had ended in a fit of giggles the adults had shared with you all.

“You were the worst flutist”, Taehyung said, a soft smile moving on his lips at the memory. “It was cute.”

Blush found its way back to your cheeks. “You thought I was cute?”

“Of course.” He nodded, before glancing at you again. “You’ve always been cute.”

His words stopped your heart in your chest, and when it started again you were pretty sure the erratic beating was going to kill you. It rendered you speechless, and your hand instinctively shot towards the radio display screen of the SUV. You clicked on the music app, quickly putting music on to hide the awkwardness that had filled the air.

Taehyung didn’t say anything right away, but you knew he had noticed. He probably had heard the wild beats of your heart too.

“Don’t be shy”, he murmured in a low voice. He wet his lips, before continuing, “I’ve been thinking about you constantly since Eunjin’s party.”

Could he see your hands were shaking because of how shy you felt?

“Ah.” You gulped as you tried to swallow. “Have you?”

“It’s hard to think about something else when you asked me what you did.”

For a reason unknown, his words calmed the shaking of your hands, heat trickling inside of you until you felt far too hot for your own good. “Forget about it, you know, I shouldn’t have said that.”

“What if I want it?”

This couldn’t be happening. Kim Taehyung couldn’t say he wanted you. He was too far out of your league, made of stuff women all around the world dreamed about. Just because you had known him before he was famous didn’t make you any different.

“Taehyung…” you trailed off, unable to find words to say. All you could do was stare at his profile, eyes falling to the lips he wet with a dart of his tongue.

“I know you drank tonight so not tonight, but I’d like to hang out with you, Y/n.” He glanced at you for a moment, long enough for you to see the intensity that had taken over his gaze. “If that’s something you would like.”

From the way heat was collecting at your core, you were pretty sure you couldn’t refuse the offer. “I’ve sobered up, by the way.”

You let your words hang in the silence that stretched between you, only interrupted by the soft jazz music that was playing over the car speakers.

“But we’re almost there”, he said, eyes sliding to you as his car slid to a halt at a stop sign.

There was courage in you. Courage you had never even thought you had, and you spoke the next words without an ounce of hesitation. “You could come up with me.”

He chuckled, as if in disbelief, looking away. “Ah, Y/n, you cannot do this to me.”

“You are the one that said you want to hang out with me.” You paused, heart beating wildly in your chest. “Prove it.”

“Are you sure you are not drunk anymore?” he asked.

“I was just a little tipsy”, you pointed out. “I never was drunk.”

He slowly nodded. “Right.” He ran a hand through his hair, before looking at the road again as the car started moving. “I’ll come up with you then.”

You nodded too, unable to find any words to say. All you knew was that you were going crazy inside, and that you weren’t even sure you’d make it up to your apartment. In truth, you were quite convinced you were going to have a heart attack right then and there.

You wet your lips, gulping as you swallowed trying to wet your throat that had turned dry. At the same time, knowing that Taehyung wanted to hang out with you… it made you warm inside. Made the butterflies feel safer, and the reciprocity of wanting to spend time with you made them realer. To think he’d step foot in your apartment… it filled you with an excitement you had never really known before, and all you knew was that you couldn’t wait for him to step in the private place that was yours. A place only your closest friends had ever been in before…

Yet there was a dangerous aura surrounding Taehyung. Something you hadn’t really seen before, an intensity to him that attracted you the way fire attracted a moth. It made your breathing a little shorter, and the beating of your heart a little faster.

What had you gotten yourself into?

*****

                 Your apartment felt small, now that Taehyung was standing in the middle of it. And really, it was a small place. A loft, with your bed in one corner atop a small flight of stairs, and a couch in the space between the kitchen and the so-called bedroom. There was a clock on the wall above the couch, and a TV on the wall facing it, though you never really watched TV all that much. Most of the time when you were at home was spent chilling on your laptop, watching k-dramas online or videos on Youtube.  

The plant your mom had gifted you when you had moved to Seoul proudly stood under the TV, next to a TV cabinet on top of which pictures of you and Eunjin smiled back at you. There were pictures of your family too, and you knew that one of them held a very young Taehyung, along with Eunjin and Jeongyu. Taehyung hadn’t noticed it yet, but you knew it would only be a matter of time.

“Welcome to my humble abode”, you said as you motioned to the space surrounding you, trying to ease the nerves that were threatening to overcome your senses.

Taehyung flashed a grin at you, one that had your insides going molten. “It’s pretty cosy, I like it.”

His words made you redden, and your eyes fell to the carpet in front of the couch. It was a plush light gray carpet, on which you lay whenever things got too intense at work and you needed a break from life. You could almost imagine the shape of you in the carpet from the last time you laid there, and you focused on it as Taehyung’s heavy gaze moved on your profile.

“Thank you”, you breathed before looking at him. “It’s clearly not as fancy as where you live but it’s what I can afford.”

He chuckled. “Who says I live somewhere fancy?”

You threw him a no-bullshit look, folding your arms on your chest as a reply.

“Okay, I might live somewhere fancy”, he said, raising his hands in defense. “No need to glare at me like that.”

You flushed red again. “I didn’t mean…”

“Y/n, you’re fine”, Taehyung reassured you. “I’m only teasing you.” He flashed another one of his boxy smiles, and you couldn’t help but smile at him too.

“Do you want something to drink?” you asked, moving towards the refrigerator in the corner of the kitchen space. “I don’t have much but I think I have banana milk.”

“Are you Jungkook-ie?” he asked, taking you by surprise.

“What?”

He shook his head. “Never mind. It’s just that Jungkook always drinks that.”

“I don’t blame him, it is so good.” A small excited smile took over your lips as you grabbed the milk from the fridge. “It’s heaven in a bottle.”

“People usually say that about alcohol”, Taehyung pointed out.

“That’s because they’ve never had banana milk.”

He laughed again, and it made your apartment seem warmer than it usually was. It made you feel warmer too, and you met Taehyung’s gaze.

He was beautiful. Incredibly so. The kind of man you were convinced women wrote books about. A man with a softness to him, a vulnerability to him that had always made him attractive to you. No matter who he was now, Taehyung had been the center of your gravity when you were younger, even though you had tried to play it cool. Years of not talking had not changed that, and you found yourself gravitating back towards him as you started drinking your banana milk.

“Can I have a taste of that?” he asked, voice falling to his baritone register.

Even his goddamn voice was attractive to you.

You took a long sip, letting the taste dance on your tongue before you handed the milk to him. His eyes met yours, and he looked at you as he drank, gaze never once faltering. It was intense, the way he looked at you, and you found you were too much of a coward to hold it. But when your eyes fell to his lips, you realized maybe you weren’t a coward all that much.

Because you desperately wanted to step closer to him and feel his lips against yours.

He handed you the banana milk back before sitting on the couch. You carefully watched him, eyes going down to his lap as he spread his thighs just a little.

Manspreading had never looked as good as when Kim Taehyung was doing it on your couch.

You moved closer to him, sitting with the top of your body angled towards him. He glanced at you, a small smirk adorning his lips. It left you confused for a time, but then again you were fully aware of what he might be thinking.

Hell, you had all but told him you wanted to sleep with him a few weeks ago. And had reiterated it in his car a little under an hour ago.

“How’s work been going?” he asked, taking the conversation on an unexpected curve.

You were glad for it though, because you had no idea how to approach the other subject, the elephant in the room. “It’s been busy, but I’ve had busier weeks”, you admitted. “I imagine it’s not as busy as you.”

“I’m pretty sure working for Samsung can get busy.” He raised his eyebrows, offering you a tight-lipped smile as you were about to deny it. “Don’t lie to me, I know you too well.”

You didn’t know your body could tingle from someone’s word. “Do you?”

A lazy smirk grew on his lips, and your eyes fell to it. “Oh, I do. After all this time, I still do.”

You had no idea how to interpret it, but it did make you feel hot again, like he had made you feel in the car. It was strange to think that it came naturally to Taehyung – making you feel like that. As if he knew the ins and outs of your brain even better than you did.

And maybe he did.

“How is this going to work?” you asked, a little awkwardly as you motioned between the two of you with the hand holding the banana milk.

Avoiding the elephant in the room was pointless after all. You busied yourself with a sip of banana milk as Taehyung’s face fell serious, looking away from you as he seemed to think.

“What do you want to know?” he asked after a time, his words echoing the conversation you had had under a blanket of stars in Daegu.

“Everything”, you replied, throat going dry once again.

He wet his lips, eyes dipping to yours. “You’ve never done anything at all, right?”

As embarrassing as it was, you nodded your head.

“Then I can’t do everything yet, can I?”

You gulped, slightly shaking your head.

“Use your words, Y/n.” The low voice he had used to utter your name made your blood boil in your veins.

“Why can’t you?” you asked, voice small.

“You deserve someone that takes their time with you”, he breathed.

You wondered if he could hear your heart beating out of your chest. “Someone?”

“It’s a good thing I’m the kind of man that likes to take his time”, he continued, not really answering your question. Your teeth instinctively dug in your bottom lip, and you froze as he reached up, thumb releasing your lip. “Don’t do that.”

You slowly nodded.

“Why don’t you finish your milk so we can get started, mmh?” he said, his low baritone voice engulfing you in its warmth as his hand slowly fell to his lap.

You gulped once again, eyes falling down to the forgotten plastic bottle in your hand. You looked at it as if it was foreign, before taking a small sip. Taehyung carefully watched you as you did so, intense gaze observing your features in a way that made you feel seen, like you had never been before.

As if no one had really seen you until Kim Taehyung had been gazing at you.

“I can always finish it later”, you muttered, before putting it down on the floor next to the couch. You sat back, angling your body towards him even more.

“Look at you, so eager to learn”, he said, smirking again. “No wonder you told me what you did that night.” He wet his lips and you found yourself unable to look away from his mouth.

“Gosh, Tae, do you speak to all women like that?”

He offered you a secretive smile, hand moving up between you until his thumb was pulling your lower lip away from the teeth you had unknowingly sunk into it. “Only to the pretty ones.”

Your breath caught in your throat, though you weren’t sure if it was because of his words or because he slowly leaned towards you. Anxiety moved through you, and you widened your gaze as his eyelids fell shut, right before he gently pressed his lips against yours.

You froze, unmoving, not knowing what to do as the plumpness of his mouth met your lips. Taehyung let out a small chuckle as he pulled away, eyes opening to meet your gaze. “Close your eyes, Y/n”, he breathed, caressing your bottom lip with his thumb again. “Just follow my lead.”

You nodded, and your eyelids fluttered shut as he kissed you again, ever so softly. Lips establishing a slow rhythm, one you found easier to follow after the first few seconds. Taehyung’s hand cupped your cheek, pulling you closer, as he turned his head into the kiss, angling his mouth so it met yours in a more intimate embrace.

You sighed, blood rushing to your cheeks as your thoughts zeroed in on the fact that you were currently kissing your childhood crush. A man wanted by so many girls in the world it was hard to believe he had chosen to be with you right now, in this moment.

It almost made you pull away, but when Taehyung swiped his tongue against your lower lip, all thoughts exited your brain and your hand shot to his chest, resting flatly against it. You could feel the beats of his heart, a constant melody that seemed just a little too quick for it to be normal, contrary to the erratic beats of your own heart. You could feel every beat as it echoed in your ribcage, pumping blood to your whole body, and maybe a little more to the warmth between your legs.

Taehyung’s tongue tasted your lips again, and this time you parted them, allowing him entrance. You let out a small breathy sound as his tongue met yours, and you could feel his mouth stretching into a smirk as he continued kissing you, rhythm still ever so calm and soft. As if he didn’t want you to be scared or intimidated by the act of kissing him.

You were way beyond that now.

Taehyung tasted sweet. He tasted of strawberries and honey, and it reminded you of the farm. Of days of summers past, spent in his company and that of his siblings and your brother. It reminded you of sunrays and warm breezes, of leaves dancing in the wind and birds singing in the trees. Of laughter echoing in the house with the red door at the end of the dirt road, where you had grown into the person that you were today.

Taehyung was reassuring, in a nostalgic kind of way. And maybe that, most of all, was the reason why you felt so comfortable with him, so willing to give yourself away to him. You didn’t know if it was safe, if the Taehyung you were with right now was the same that you had known back then, but you found you couldn’t stop.

You found you didn’t want to stop kissing him. Not when the very act of it was intoxicating, liberating, as if you were a bird that had just learned how to soar up above in the clouds.

He brushed his thumb on your cheekbone, bringing you back to reality before gently pulling a stray strand of hair behind your ear. It made butterflies take flight in your stomach, right as you deepened the kiss, pushing your tongue in his mouth just like he had been doing to you a moment ago. Taehyung answered by sucking on it, ever so gently, before pulling away.

The absence of his lips against yours grounded you back into reality, but you kept your eyes closed, chasing the remnants of the kiss in your memory, letting his flavour linger just a little longer.

“You’re such a good girl already”, Taehyung murmured, and his words had a burning sensation take the place of the soft warmth in your core.

“Tae…” you breathed, opening your eyes.

You found him already looking at you, with a slightly widened gaze. As if you were a surprise, something he had never thought he’d see. And maybe you were.

“For someone that has never kissed before, you sure know how to do it”, he said, always a little tease, and his lips spread into a smile. Into a grin, even.

Your blush deepened, right as the corners of your mouth tugged upwards too. “I followed your lead.”

He smirked. “As I said, you’re already such a good girl.”

You chuckled, a small feminine sound you hadn’t expected to have in you. Taehyung echoed it by tilting his head to the side, watching you as if you were a curiosity.

“What now?”

Your question had his mouth parting, smirk disappearing. His eyes clouded with that same desire you had seen earlier, turning darker than they already were. And Taehyung had a dark gaze, a gaze so deep you knew you could get lost in it.

You wondered how many girls had gotten lost in him before. The thought was almost enough to shower your arousal away, yet it clung to you as Taehyung ran a hand along your arm, fingers barely even grazing your skin.

“You will have to be patient, Y/n”, Taehyung said, offering you a wicked smirk that had your insides turning gooey. “This was your first kiss, we shouldn’t jump into something more right away, mmh?”

You wanted to ask why not, but the sweetness that had taken over his voice at his last words stopped you from doing so. Because it was sweet, the way he spoke. As if you were worth all of his time, a show he wanted to appreciate in its full length instead of rushing to the end.

It was a dangerous way to feel. A treacherous one, and you could already feel the ground beneath you tilting, threatening to make you fall. You could only hope your feet wouldn’t give up underneath you, or else you’d slide down the slope.

“I’ve already waited my whole life”, you pointed out, your lust finally winning over your will to remain silent. “I don’t want to wait anymore.”

Taehyung’s mouth spread in a thin line, as if your words had threatened to make him fall into insanity. He tsked, slowly shaking his head in disbelief. “Then why don’t you take off your shirt?”

You paused for only a half beat before grabbing the hem of it, pulling it over your head. The discarded piece of clothing met the floor, falling softly. Like a feather would fall, a feather from one of the many pillow fights you had shared. It was as if time had slowed, and it really felt like it, as Taehyung’s gaze dropped to your chest, drinking in the sight of you.

“So beautiful”, he whispered, and one of his hands reached forward, palming your breasts over your bra. You stiffened a little, and he met your gaze again, hand pulling away, remaining close enough for you to feel its warmth still. “Is it okay if I touch you?”

You nodded, doing your best not to think more than needed.

He chuckled. “I want to hear you say it.”

“Please touch me”, you quickly said, voice hitching in your throat as Taehyung grabbed you with that big hand of his again, leaning forward to catch your lips in a passionate kiss. It didn’t take long for his other hand to grab onto your other breast, and he pinched your hardened nipples through the fabric.

You moaned. It was an unexpected sound, one that came from deep within your throat. It seemed to set Taehyung haywire, because he grunted into the kiss, biting at your bottom lip. It made you moan again, right as his hands reached to your back to unclasp your bra. He only pulled away once the piece of clothing met your shirt on the floor, eyes falling to your naked breasts for half a second before he moved down, licking at one of your nipples.

Your hand moved in his hair, digits slightly shaking as you grabbed a handful of it to pull him back into another kiss, one that had your teeth clashing together. It didn’t slow you down. Not even a little bit, as Taehyung played with your nipples again, rolling the hardened buds between his thumb and forefinger.

As foreign as the feeling was, it made you arch your back, moaning in his mouth again. He kept going at it for a time, until his lips left yours to move down your neck, leaving a trail of hot wet kisses along your jaw and down to your collarbone. He sucked on it, leaving a small purple bruise behind before going lower, catching one of your nipples in his mouth. You could feel every swipe of his tongue on the sensitive bud, and your eyes fell shut as you arched even more, pushing your breasts into his face as he massaged the free one with one of his hands.

His other hand hovered at your waist, holding you gently. As if he wanted to give you a chance to escape if you wanted to, but still needed to feel more of your skin against his careful digits. And you wanted to feel more of his, you wanted to feel all of his body pressed against all of yours.

A dangerous way to feel indeed.

“Tae…” you breathed again, pulling at his hair a little.

He looked up at you, lips glossed by his ministrations against your nipple, or maybe by the kiss you had previously shared. “Everything okay?”

“I want more.”

He smirked, that same wicked smirk that made you burn inside. “Be patient, Y/n.”

You let out a frustrated sigh, one that hitched in your throat as the hand that was hovering next to your waist moved between your legs, barely grazing your clothed pussy before resting on your inner thigh.

“I won’t have sex with you tonight”, Taehyung told you.

And though the revelation disappointed you, you slowly nodded your head. “That’s okay.”

“I didn’t bring any condoms”, Taehyung added. “Otherwise I’d fuck you all night long.”

His crude words made your eyes widen, right as you pressed your thighs together in the hopes of getting a little friction where you desperately needed it. “You can’t say stuff like that”, you complained.

Taehyung offered you a toothy grin that inched far closer to endearment than lust. “I can and I will.”

You rolled your eyes, though they rolled to the back of your head as he pressed his hand against your core again.

“So receptive”, he praised you. “Why don’t you lay on your back?”

It was a command in a clever disguise. You were pretty sure no one could ever disobey Taehyung, not when he spoke with that deep baritone voice of his. You moved, lying down, legs going on each side of him. He looked down at you, hungrily, teeth slightly biting at his lower lip as he drank you in.

And he did drink you in, making you feel as if you were the finest bottle of wine he had ever tasted. The nectar of the gods, ambrosia making him salivate with the thought of tasting you. Of tasting more of you, all of you, until he knew every flavour of you.

“What do you think of when you touch yourself?” he asked, tilting his head to the side as he ran a hand on your thigh.

Even though you were still wearing pants, the press of his fingers against you had arousal pooling at your core. Always more, your body responding to him in a way it had never responded to you.

You remained silent, half trying to think about a witty answer and half trying not to moan as he pressed a thumb on your clothed self, right on top of your clit. And he pressed hard, a shot of sensitivity running up your spine and making your legs tighten around him. He chuckled at your reaction, before releasing the pressure just enough for thoughts to start taking form in your head again.

And you didn’t know the answer to his question. Most of the time you just thought of romantic scenarios that you had seen in movies or read about in books taking the forefront of your fantasies. But as you looked up at Taehyung through half-lidded eyes, you knew your fantasies were going to change, to morph into the man between your legs.

“I don’t know”, you replied, breath itching in your throat as he pressed harder again.

“Should I give you stuff to think about?”

It was the low voice. The baritone timber of him. You’d let him tell you anything with that voice of his.

Blood rushed to your cheeks as he watched you pointedly, clearly expecting a reply.

“You already are”, you mumbled, and he offered you another wicked smile.

“Then let’s make this better, mmh?”

You would never refuse him making you feel better. So you nodded, arching your back a little as your hips instinctively grinded up into his hand. The dark gaze returned as he pushed you down, before bending forward to press a kiss on your jaw.

The proximity of his mouth to yours had your lips parting open, and a second later your mouths crashed, another passionate kiss searing the deal between you. Burning it into your flesh, turning you into his. Because the way Taehyung kissed you, the way he touched you… It made you feel as if you were his.

And maybe you had always been.

As he kissed you, Taehyung let his hand wander up to your waistband, fingers blindly searching for the button of your pants. Once that was freed, he slid his hand in, sighing in your mouth as you sucked on his bottom lip.

“Fuck, Y/n”, he said. “You’re dripping.”

The sound you let out was incoherent. Somewhere between a moan and a whine, and it disappeared into his mouth, swallowed by him as he kissed you again. And he kissed you for a while, his hand not moving from where he was touching you, above your panties, fingers pressed to your middle.

As if he wanted to feel your juice soaking your panties until they became uncomfortable.

“Do you want me to finger you?” he asked once he stopped kissing you, resting his forehead against yours.

The gesture was sweet even in the heated atmosphere, and a shy smile grew on your lips. “Please”, you murmured.

His hand left you and you almost whined at the loss of contact. You heard fabric rustling, and your eyelids fluttered open to the sight of Taehyung slowly unbuttoning his dress shirt, hungry gaze waiting for yours. And when your gazes locked, Taehyung wet his lips with a dart of his tongue, mouth falling open before it slid into a smirk.

That smirk was going to be the death of you.

“It’s unfair that I’m still fully dressed when I’m about to take your pants off, no?” he teased, even going to the extent of winking at you as he shrugged off his shirt, sending it right to your own shirt on the ground.

As much as his face was attractive, your eyes fell to his body. And it was your turn to drink in the sight of him, to admire the perfect sculpted body displayed in front of you as if it was fine art. Beautiful art, crafted into the shape of the man between your legs.

Once Taehyung was bare-chested, he moved back to your pants, thumbs hooking in the hem as he sent you a questioning glance. You answered by cocking an eyebrow, not really knowing why uncertainty had slid into his gaze.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” he enquired, voice gentle yet firm.

Asking for consent like that made Taehyung twice as attractive to you. You nodded your head, biting your lips. “Never been so sure about anything.”

You were bold tonight. Bold under the dark gaze of your best friend’s brother. Someone that had once been the source of all of your daydreams. Teenage you probably was screaming inside of you, somewhere in the corners of your heart where she still reigned. Yet you felt courageous in the vicinity of Kim Taehyung, as if him being attracted to you made you feel twice as powerful. And really, it did. You felt beautiful in his presence.

“That’s good”, Taehyung said, a cocky smirk once again gracing his lips as he started pulling your pants down.

You helped him get past the ass area, before lying back down on the couch. Your gaze remained lost in his as the pants moved all the way down your legs. And he moved slowly, taking his time, enjoying every shiver that shook through you whenever his fingers pressed into your skin a little harder.

Once the pants were off – the socks had come off with them – Taehyung settled himself between your legs again. His eyes hadn’t left yours yet, but you knew that he wanted to look. Knew that he was fighting the male instinct to gaze down at your core, and at the wetness that was pooling on your clothed pussy.

His large hands slowly moved to your thighs, settling right above your knees. They were hot against your skin, burning even, and they remained unmoving for a time. When you shivered again, Taehyung let out a deep chuckle that had you seeing stars. He knew what he was doing to you, and he was enjoying it. Far too much for your own good.

His hands started sliding up, ever so slowly, right as his gaze returned to the dark dangerous look. It was even darker now, and he almost looked like a demon sitting between your legs. Like a starved demon that’d finally get a taste of a virgin soul. And though you were a virgin, you were not innocent. You didn’t have to look between his legs to see his erection pressing against his pants. You knew Taehyung wanted you, from the harsh set of his jaw to the slight tilt of his head to the side.

His fingers tickled your skin as they moved up, leaving a trail of goosebumps behind. You didn’t dare move lest he’d stop, so you froze. Stopped breathing altogether as you waited for his touch on the place you wanted him the most.

Yet it never came. Taehyung stopped before he reached your core. You could feel the ghost of his touch between your legs, maybe because his thumbs were almost reaching up to your folds. But not quite, stopping just an inch from your pussy.

And then his hands left you entirely, and you shot a glare at him.              

His face had turned serious, and he looked so different from how he usually looked you found your boldness fleeing from you.

“On your stomach”, he ordered. As you hesitated for a time, Taehyung cocked an eyebrow. “I want to see that perfect ass of yours.”

You flushed red, and if you hadn’t been as aroused as you were, you probably would have told him your ass was far from perfect. But you had no words left in you, only obedience. So you moved, awkwardly turning until your legs had switched places on each side of him.

Taehyung’s hands moved back on you then, grabbing your waist carefully as you looked at him over your shoulder.

“So fucking pretty”, he praised you, and the slap he landed on your ass had your body moving forward.

It stung, but Taehyung quickly massaged the hurt away. And then he kept massaging you, his big hands moving up until they found all the knots in your back, easing the tension out of you better than anything else could have.

Everywhere he touched you he left a burning trail behind, until you were pretty sure you were going to combust if he didn’t touch between your legs soon. It was like he had sensed it, because Taehyung moved back down your back, and one of his hands cupped an ass cheek while the other moved between your legs, skilled fingers immediately going to your clit.

You moaned, surprising even yourself, and you hid your face in the couch.

“Don’t muffle your sounds”, Taehyung reprimanded you, and he landed another slap to your ass. “I want to hear every little sound you make while I’m pleasuring you.”

Right on cue, his fingers moved on your clit again, and another moan found its way up your throat. You almost choked on it, yet the sound fell from your parted lips, and Taehyung slapped your ass again for good measure.

“Good girl.”

One of his long fingers moved up, between your legs. Touching your center, pressing on the wetness pooling there. Just enough for you to whine, hips moving instinctively again.

“Be patient”, he said, tutting. “I’ll give you everything you want.”

Your arousal was rising, inside of you. Reaching heights you had never seen before, and the sight of the world from up there was scary. You could only hope the fall wouldn’t be too harsh.

Taehyung kept pressing circles on your clit, playing with the sensitive organ. His touch wasn’t too hard, yet with your panties it felt uncomfortable. A little too much, and the friction of the wet fabric against you made you tighten your legs.

“Tae?” you breathed out. He stopped moving, expectantly silent waiting for you to continue. “Can you take off my panties?”

“You’re getting sensitive, mmh?”

You wanted to punch the male cockiness out of him but all you could do was nod your head as you glanced at him over your shoulder.

He was looking down at you with that half smile of his, and he wet his lips as one of his fingers hooked on the side of your panties, the pad of his digit resting on one of your folds. You gulped, trying to hold his gaze, but as he started slowly sliding a finger in, your eyelids fluttered shut, sealing together.

Suddenly, you couldn’t remember what you had just asked. You couldn’t remember anything, as your mind went blank. All that was left was the slow inching of his finger inside of you.

“You play with yourself like this?”

His question had you furrowing your brows. “Tae…”

“You’re so wet I could probably fuck you like that”, he said, sounding as if he was pondering. As if he was debating doing it and you almost wanted to beg him. To beg him to do it, and fuck you into oblivion. “But we can always do that later.”

As he talked his finger started pulling out, and he quickly pushed it back in before it had fully exited your pussy. You let out another breathy sound, though this time it took the shape of his name. He started pumping, slowly, and the squelching sound between your legs would have embarrassed you if you hadn’t already been too far gone to even acknowledge it.

Right when you thought you were going to be able to open your eyes and look at him, Taehyung pushed another one of his long digits inside of you. It stretched you, just a little, but it didn’t hurt. It just felt even better, all sensations doubling up inside of you until stars danced on the blackness of your tightly shut eyelids. He added scissoring motions to the whole ordeal, stretching you wide open as his hungry eyes looked at you. The way he moved made your panties rub on your clit again, and you let out a small whine.

Taehyung stopped moving, fingers knuckle deep inside of you, as he massaged your ass with his other hand. “Everything okay?”

“My panties”, you let out, unable to form a full sentence.

Yet it was enough for Taehyung to get the clue and his fingers pulled out of you as he grabbed the hem of your panties to take them off of you. You waited patiently for him to touch you again, eyes fluttering open as he struggled to pull your panties down your legs.

“Kinda hard in this position”, he muttered, and you blushed a little as you met his gaze.

He looked ethereal. Hair a little out of place with a dark strand falling in front of his eyes. His skin was glowing in a honey shade that gave him a warm vibe, that same warm vibe he had always been filled with back when you had been too young to know about sex and the likes.

And though you now knew, everything felt the same. Taehyung was always going to be his same self. Or so you hoped.

You moved, sitting up a little to help him take off your panties. It had your eyes slide to his lap, and to the prominent bulge that was pushing against his pants. He looked big, even hidden from your eyes, and you could feel your mouth salivating.

You wanted to get a taste of him. But you had no idea how to do it, no idea how to vocalize your want, so you only turned until you were lying on your back, half-lidded eyes searching Taehyung’s face for his own gaze.

But his gaze was elsewhere. His gaze was on the spot between your parted legs, where juice was slowly dripping. Your brain started forming a thought about your couch getting ruined, but before it could fully take shape Taehyung’s eyes snapped to yours.

“I think you’ve got the prettiest pussy I’ve ever seen.”

The compliment made you blush, and your thighs instinctively moved to close together. He tutted, stopping them with his large hands.

“None of that, I want to see all of you.”

“You already have”, you muttered, cheeks turning a dark shade of red.

He let out a small laugh as he massaged your thighs up and down a couple of times again. “Doesn’t mean that I got enough.”

A smile pulled at the corners of your lips, but before you could say something one of his hands had found its way to your core again, and he slid two fingers in. Your mouth fell open as your eyes locked with his. He pumped his fingers in a couple of times before arching them, finding a spot inside of you that had the corners of your vision turning blurry.

“I think I could make you cum like this”, he said.

All you could do was nod because, sure enough, an orgasm was on the horizon, and you could feel the wave crashing towards you. But Taehyung slowed, almost coming to a full stop, before sitting a little farther away. You watched him curiously, until he bent down, his face coming dangerously close to your heat.

He blew a hot breath on your sensitive clit, and a hot shiver shot up your spine. “Can I eat you out?”

You nodded, quickly. “Please…” you breathed out.

Taehyung didn’t need any more to dive in. And dive in he did, lips closing around your clit as he sucked it, tongue flicking at it. You moaned, loudly, and one of your hands got lost in his hair. His fingers resumed their ministrations against that sweet spot inside of you, right as he rested his tongue flatly against your clit, rubbing it until the wave rushed closer to you. You could feel the orgasm taking shape in your lower stomach, a burning sensation that promised to wash away what was left of your sanity. And you didn’t even know if anything was left: all you knew was that your walls were clenching against his fingers, and the grunt he let out pushed you over the edge.

You came in a blinding flash of white light, your lips parting open on a silent moan as you pushed your hips up, pressing yourself harder against his tongue. Your pussy pulsated against his fingers and yet he didn’t slow down. Just kept on pleasuring you, milking every last drop of your orgasm out of you until you were pretty sure you’d die from the oversensitivity. But you didn’t want him to stop, only wanted to feel his fingers inside of you and his tongue against your clit.

Taehyung had other things in mind though, because he pulled away, pressing a kiss on the inside of your thigh as he moved up to a kneeling position. You could barely focus on him. No, you were blinded by the aura surrounding him. An aura of ecstasy that made you want to wrap your legs around him, until you’d feel the bulge in his pants pressing against you.

He bit his lip, though he let you pull him closer. Even pushed forward, and your eyes shut as his erection pressed against your sensitive clit.

“Way to ruin my Prada pants”, he stated and that most of all brought you back down to reality.

You released him from the prison of your legs, slowly pushing yourself up so you could sit. But your arms gave out under you, the remnants of your orgasm making you feel far too weak for you to sit yet.

“Sorry”, you mumbled sheepishly.

He bent down, pressing a kiss on your lips that had your eyes shutting instinctively as you wrapped your arms around his neck, holding him close to you. You wondered if your hearts were beating in synch as the warm skin of his chest pressed against your breasts, and before you could tell Taehyung pulled away.

“It’s okay”, he reassured you. “Where’s the bathroom?”

It took you a long time to understand why he was asking. And you only did when you realized he was holding his hand away from the fabric of your couch, not wanting to stain it.

“Oh”, you let out. You glanced to the side, until your eyes fell on a closed door. “Over there.”

Taehyung followed your line of gaze, nodding his head before getting up. “I’ll be right back.”

“I should probably get cleaned up too”, you said, and he offered you a warm smile.

“I’ll bring you back a towel.” It was said sweetly, and you couldn’t help the flutter that took over your heart as he turned around, exposing the skin of his back to your eyes.

You watched him go, and watched him wash his hands from the open door of the bathroom as he hadn’t shut it behind him. He threw you a glance, probably because he could feel your heavy gaze on the side of his face. He turned off the tap, cocking an eyebrow as he grabbed the towel you usually used to dry your hands. He walked back towards you, and his gait was predatory. Maybe because it was slow and he was goddamn Kim Taehyung, but mostly because his eyes still were set in that dark look.

You didn’t think you’d survive that look.

“Let me clean you up”, he said with that low voice of his as he stopped next to you, before sitting in the spot where he had been a moment ago.

As with everything that came with Taehyung, you didn’t find it in you to say no. You only winced when he pressed the towel between your legs, your overstimulated pussy feeling every tiny fiber of the cloth as he cleaned you up.

When he was done, he put the towel on the floor beside the couch. Your eyes followed his every move, and before you could realize it, you said, “I want to suck your dick”.

He paused as he was almost sitting back in his spot, and his head turned towards you.

“Do you?” he asked, as his two eyebrows shot up towards his hairline.

You had taken Kim Taehyung by surprise, hadn’t you?

“I want to make you feel good”, you said, and you had the decency to blush as you realized just how crude you were being.

He wet his lips, and one of his large hands palmed himself through his pants. “Do you think you could take it all?”

You looked down at his lap, eyes following the shape of his dick underneath the fabric. You actually didn’t know. He looked big, far bigger than what you thought was possible. Maybe because you had never really seen a dick before, not feeling like going to the trouble of downloading porn just so you could get off to it.

It wasn’t like you had really needed it to get off anyway. And with what had just happened, you didn’t think you’d ever need it.

“You can teach me how.” You said it innocently, teeth sinking into your lower lip.

Taehyung didn’t reply. He just stared at you until your eyes met his again. From the periphery of your vision, you saw him unbutton and unzip his pants. His hand slid in, probably wrapping against his dick. Most definitely jerking himself off, in all truth. It made your breath catch in your throat as you kept holding the intensity of his gaze.

He was going to make you catch fire soon.

“Had I known you’d be so greedy I’d have talked to you sooner”, he murmured, adding your name at the end in that low dangerous baritone of his voice.

You couldn’t resist. You closed the space between you, lips meeting his. You wondered if the salty taste that had overcome his mouth was from eating you out, and it just turned you on further. As if you weren’t already a wildfire.

You let one of your hands move until it was touching him. His dick was moving under the fabric as he jerked himself and you let out a moan as his tongue slipped in your mouth. He answered it by grunting, a guttural sound that had you see stars.

His hand moved out of his pants, moving up until he was cupping your cheek. You kept on palming him, and his dick twitched under your fingers.

“You’re so big”, you murmured against his lips.

He inhaled sharply, before pulling away from the kiss. “I want to see your pretty lips wrapped around me.”

He moved your hand so he could take off his pants. You couldn’t help looking down until your eyes caught sight of his dick. You were right: he was big. Big and angry red and leaking precum all over the head as his dick rested against his abdomen. A thick vein ran up and down his cock, and part of you thought you could see his pulse in it. You reached forward, fingers grazing the vein, following it until you moved to the head. You collected the precum on your forefinger, before looking Taehyung in the eyes as you sucked your finger clean.

Kim Taehyung tasted heavenly. Or maybe you were just drunk with lust.

Your little act had him rest his head against the couch, letting out a low curse that had you smirk.

“You’re so attractive”, he muttered as he looked at you through half-lidded eyes. You let your finger go as your lips spread in a smirk, before you moved off from the couch. Taehyung watched you as you kneeled in front of him. He spread his legs just a little to allow you easy access, and you caught sight of his balls. You wondered what it would feel like to suck on them and you instinctively leaned forward, licking between the two of them.

“Fuck.”

His small word had you let out a small chuckle. It made you feel sexy, powerful, and you wrapped your hand around the base of his cock.

“You’ll have to guide me”, you said.

He looked down, meeting your gaze as you pumped his dick slowly.

“First, you can grab it harder”, he told you. “I like when it’s tight.”

You shivered, obeying as your grip on his dick tightened. You licked your lips, waiting expectantly.

“You might want to suck on the head first. I don’t think I could stop myself from fucking your pretty mouth.”

“Then do it.”

It was too bold. You were too bold, a stranger to yourself. Maybe the demon inhabiting Taehyung’s eyes had inhabited you too, and it had made you go insane.

Taehyung hissed. “Let’s keep some stuff for another time, shall we?” He brushed a strand of hair behind your ear, fingers lingering against your cheek. “I just want to feel your lips and tongue on me.”

You wondered if he could feel the heat of your cheeks as you flushed red. You doubted so, as you had been flushed red with ecstasy all night.

“I don’t know how to do it”, you breathed, sounding a little more like yourself for once.

He smiled. “Just lick at the head. Taste me.”

You held his gaze as you moved forward, tongue darting out to touch the head. You didn’t blink once as you swirled your tongue around him, collecting all the precum until the salty taste had coated all of your tongue. “Like that?” you said, a little innocently.

His shallow breathing was enough of an answer. Your eyes fluttered shut, and you did it again, this time following the base of the head. You found a spot at the back that felt a little different, and you pushed on it.

Taehyung grabbed the side of your head, before closing his hand on some of your hair. It pulled at your scalp, but not enough to hurt. It only made your eyes open.

“Do that again”, he instructed.

You obeyed and he threw his head back. You made a mental note that that seemed to work, before moving a little closer to him, until your mouth was hovering over his dick.

“Suck me”, he breathed, right as you wrapped your lips around his dick.

You licked at the slit of his dick, cleaning it from the new precum that had accumulated there. Taehyung grunted, and a second later you were moving down his dick.

He hissed. “Careful with your teeth.”

You hadn’t realized you had grazed him with your teeth, but you assumed he was in a better position to tell. You loosened your jaw, before pulling away. Taehyung let you do it, but as you were about to entirely let go of his dick, he thrusted up.

You gagged and he let go of your hair as you sat back on your heels.

“I am so sorry”, he apologized, eyes round as you met his gaze. “I didn’t mean…”

You chuckled, blinking away the tears that had formed because of the gag reflex. “It’s okay.”

He wet his lips, nodding his head. “You don’t have to suck my dick.”

You rolled your eyes, before jerking him up and down a few times. It shut him up, and he rested his head against the couch again, eyes fluttering shut.

Taehyung was attractive, from this angle. Sharp jaw that could cut through steel, dark locks falling all around his face. His chest had taken on a red flush, and it moved up and down quickly with his quick breathing.

You licked the head of his dick again, focusing on the spot you had found earlier. You sucked on it, using your tongue to play with it a little more, before you took him in again. This time, you didn’t try moving down his dick again. You focused on sucking on the head, hollowing your cheeks as you pumped his cock, keeping the tight grip he seemed to like.

He grunted as your tongue circled his head. “If you want”, he said after a time, “you can play with my balls at the same time.”

You immediately reached up with your free hand, grabbing his balls in your palm. You tightened your grip around them, and Taehyung shuddered under your touch.

“A little gentler with the balls, baby”, he said, chuckling.

You pulled away. “Sorry.”

“No”, he breathed, shaking his head. “You’re doing great.”

You had no idea if that was true, but it made your mouth salivate for more of his taste. So you guided him in your mouth again, this time taking him as far deep as you could. He moaned, even while half of his cock didn’t even fit in. You jerked him off, resting your tongue flat against him until you found the thick vein you had seen earlier.

You hollowed your cheeks, and your gaze locked with Taehyung as he finally opened his eyes. The dark look in his gaze was different now, as if he was about to break. And maybe he was going to break, his cock getting harder in your mouth as you bobbed your head up and down. Once in a while, you choked on him, and he let out a deep grunt that only made you want to go faster, to take more of him in. It was hard in the position, so you kept using your hands.

Your jaw ached, from how large he was. From having to keep your mouth open so wide to be able to take him in. It was a dull ache, and you ignored it, focusing on him. Focusing on making him feel good as you moved to a quick rhythm he established by pushing your head up and down on him.

You didn’t mind. You liked that he took control. It made a new heat pool between your legs, and you moaned against his cock.

“I’m going to cum soon”, Taehyung told you, before letting out a broken moan that sounded like your name. “Are you going to be a good girl and swallow everything?”

You would have said yes had you been in a position where you could talk. Instead, you moaned again, sucking on him harder. Taehyung moaned too, in a deep sound that made you shiver with lust for him, and a second later hot spurts of his cum hit the back of your throat. Your eyes shut, and you kept on sucking him, swallowing everything he threw at you. And he came a lot, the bitter taste making it very hard not to gag. As he came, Taehyung’s second hand grabbed your head, and his hips thrusted forward again. Not enough to make you choke around him, luckily enough.

When you were sure you had milked the last of his cum from his cock, you pulled away, licking your lips clean once you were sitting back on your heels. Taehyung looked spent on the couch, yet he pushed himself up a little, until he was leaning towards you.

“Open your mouth”, he said, holding onto your jaw with a firm grip. You obeyed, showing him that you had swallowed everything. He smirked, patting your cheek. “The best girl.”

You nodded, blushing a little as your mouth fell shut. He held your gaze for a time, before glancing around your apartment. His eyes eventually fell to your banana milk next to the couch, the drink long forgotten in the heat and passion you had shared.

“You might want to drink that to change the taste”, he said, letting out a soft laugh.

Your eyes dipped to his softening cock, and you nodded your head as you got up. “Let me just grab a shirt to put on.”

He tilted his head to the side. “Put my shirt on.”

Still that commanding tone of his… it was going to make you go crazy.

Scratch that, you were already crazy. Far more than you had ever thought you’d be. Hell, you had just given a blowjob to your best friend’s older brother. To Kim Taehyung, a member of the biggest boyband in the world.

You grabbed his dress shirt. It was a soft pink colour. For a moment you thought you had seen it somewhere, but the ecstasy that still clung to you made it hard to think. You put it on, buttoning up until your body was finally hidden from his hungry eyes. Yet they didn’t look all that hungry anymore. They just looked tired, positively so.

“I can’t believe we did this”, he said, a little breathlessly, as you finally sat next to him again, banana milk in hand. While you had been putting his shirt on, he had put his pants back on, hiding his soft dick from view. Yet you still could admire the warm skin of his chest, and the red flush that adorned the top part of it.

“Eunjin is never going to believe this”, you muttered.

Taehyung met your gaze, eyes widening a little. “She cannot know.” You paused, banana milk halfway to your mouth. Taehyung must have read something in your eyes, because he continued, “She’ll kill me if she knows. She already was pissed that I let you sleep in my bed the night of her party.”

You were surprised at the disappointment that rose inside of you. It tasted bitter, but not the kind of bitter Taehyung’s cum had tasted like. No, it tasted of regret.

“Oh”, you let out. You busied yourself with drinking the milk to hide the disappointment. Taehyung noticed it, though. You were pretty sure he did, so you quickly said, “It’s okay. Just weird, because we tell each other everything.”

Taehyung slowly nodded, wetting his lips. “I know.” He once again reached up, putting a strand of your hair behind your ear. “I just don’t want the drama that would come with it.”

You didn’t really want it either. And he was right, Eunjin could cause a lot of drama if she wanted. You loved her endlessly, but you didn’t want her to scold you for achieving one of your teenage fantasies.

“Besides, I’d like to see you again”, Taehyung added. “I need to be alive for that, and we both know Jinnie will murder me if she knows.”

You laughed. Taehyung wanted to see you again?

“I’d rather you not die”, you said.

Taehyung offered you a secretive smile accompanied by a tilt of his head to the side. You held his dark gaze. Somewhere in its depth you could feel the demon watching you. And even though you were happy Taehyung wanted to see you again, the demon lurking in the shadows had your heart squeezing in your chest.

You were pretty sure it was just a matter of time before it ripped it from your ribcage.

 ***

               Kim Taehyung was a kind human being. Sweet as honey, with a smile that spread warmth wherever he went. You had seen him again three times, after that very first time, and he still swept you off your feet. He took to caring for you – offering you food and letting you wear his clothes whenever you felt like it. But Kim Taehyung was a busy man, and weeks passed without you hanging out.

You never had sex. The three times you had hung out had just been filled with cuddling, holding hands and make-out sessions that left you breathless. The orgasms he pulled out of you contributed to it too, you were pretty sure. Never going further than preliminaries, Taehyung still managed to make you come undone under his skilled fingers. But he never gave in to more. Whenever you asked, he said that you weren’t ready, and that you had to be patient.

You were tired of being patient. But then he kissed your forehead, smiled that sweet smile of his, and your annoyance dwindled away.

You hadn’t seen the demon in his eyes again, after that first time. Or you had just become blind to it. Sometimes you thought it didn’t really show up because Taehyung appreciated spending time with you. And he did say so. He only looked slightly uncomfortable when you suggested having sex for real, so you had decided to stop asking.

He’d give it to you whenever the time was right.

The Holidays rushed in, a little under two months after that first time you had seen him, and as they did family traditions settled in. You moved back to Daegu for the week off you had – first time you had it off since you had started working for Samsung. You were excited for it, mostly because you’d get to spend it with Eunjin’s family and yours. Even your brother was coming, along with his fiancée.

It promised to be an exciting time indeed.

“Do you think I should wear this?” Eunjin asked.

You were currently sprawled on her bed, scrolling through Instagram as she unpacked her suitcase. Sung-tan-jul was on the morrow, and it seemed Eunjin wanted to dress up for it. Which was useless, because it was just going to be your family and hers, and none of you had ever really been traditional.

“Uh?” you let out, scrolling to the next picture on your feed. It was a BTS edit, and your cheeks flushed red as Taehyung appeared on the screen.

To think Kim Taehyung had been between your legs more than once was the strangest thought. It felt surreal, yet it was the truth. A truth set in stone, one he reminded you of as he texted you. Your phone dinged, and Eunjin threw herself on the bed next to you.

“You’re not even listening.”

You blushed, hiding the notification from her. “Just wear whatever, it’s not like it really matters.”

It was a lie, sort of. Because you had prepared your prettiest outfits for the week, knowing that Taehyung would be here. You wanted to look good for him, because God knew Kim Taehyung never looked bad.

“I’ve looked through your clothes and you just brought designer stuff.” She rolled her eyes as you glanced at her. “It’s like you’re trying to impress someone.”

You hoped she didn’t see you blanch because you sure had.

“You know I like fashion”, you said.

That wasn’t a lie. You had always liked fashion, and you had gotten a raise earlier this year at work that had allowed you to start indulging in your passion, buying clothes you had never thought you would be able to afford.

“You do, and it’s annoying because you have a better sense of style than I do and I always look bad next to you.”

You sent her a pointed glance. “Bitch, you are the prettiest. I don’t have the choice but to dress well if I want to compare.”

Eunjin tsked, yet she remained silent as a smile stretched on her lips at the compliment.

You fell into a comfortable silence, and you continued scrolling through your phone. Eunjin did the same next to you, and she eventually started filling the silence with talks of her new work crush.

Scratch that, she was complaining about the guy. But you knew by the way she was getting worked up that there was more to it. She was your best friend after all.

You were surprised that she hadn’t realized the change in you. The change Taehyung had brought to you. Maybe because it was hidden, that change. Just for you and him to know. It felt exciting, to have a secret to hide. Like you were doing something you shouldn’t be doing, and the thrill of it had you craving for Taehyung’s touch a little more every day.

“Does she always complain like that?” the man’s deep baritone voice said from the door.

It was like thinking of him had summoned him out of thin air. Eunjin yelped, jumping out of bed to embrace Taehyung.

“Oppa, you idiot!” she said. “I thought you were only coming tomorrow.”

He smiled at you over her shoulder. A secretive smile, one that had butterflies forming in your stomach and warmth blossoming between your legs.

The effect he had on you… it was dangerous, considering you were going to spend a week under the same roof as him without having the opportunity to really spend time alone together.

“I was able to come earlier”, he said as they pulled away from their embrace. “Hi, Y/n.”

You shut your phone, sitting up in the bed. “Hey, Tae.”

Eunjin had her brows knit together when she turned to look at you. You had messed up, hadn’t you?

“Since when are you so casual with him?” she threw at you, tone accusative.

You shrugged your shoulders, hoping she couldn’t see your heart beating out of your chest. “Maybe since the party you threw during which he had to take care of me because you got me too drunk?”

Taehyung stifled a laugh as Eunjin’s gaze widened. “I got you drunk? Girl, you did that all by yourself.”

Maybe you had. You just offered her a crooked grin, before meeting Taehyung’s gaze. The world seemed to slow around you, and for a moment there was just you and him. You wished you could close the space between you, press your lips to taste the honey sweetness of his, but you resisted, your grin melting into a tight-lipped smile instead. He replied with a wink that went unnoticed to Eunjin before saying that dinner was soon going to be ready. Eunjin pushed him out of the room, before shutting the door behind her.

“Let me get changed before we go down.”

And that was how the Holidays began for you. It was warm, fun and nostalgic, reminding you of younger days. As everything did, when it came to the Kims and their childhood house. Your childhood house too, as you had spent most of your time here. It was also the first time your brother’s fiancée, Choi Ryunjin, spent time like that with your family. She had been very shy around Taehyung at first, but she had soon melted under the warmth of his smile, and the group that had once been five was six.

It was perfect. Sung-tan-jul, that is. With laughter and whiskey, and gifts exchanged next to a plastic Christmas tree, as snow fell lazily outside. There wasn’t a lot of it, but still the world outside was soon covered by a white blanket that made for a perfect Christmas.

It was an idyllic picture, just as much as the new memories you were making.

Taehyung was warm. Warmth incarnate, even. You shared longing looks and quick touches, when nobody was looking. It made your heart race, but you knew better than to go to him in the middle of the night. Even though your body was aching for it, you just wanted to spend time with him as a friend.

A little foolish part of you hoped it would help with the relationship you shared. Though situationship was probably a more accurate word.

Eunjin didn’t seem to suspect a thing in the days that followed. Didn’t notice that Taehyung always managed to sit next to you, only so he could press his thigh against yours. Taehyung was a touchy man and you loved it to no end. It made you feel important, even if all you were was some sort of friends with benefits.

On the day before New Year’s Eve, the house fell silent for the first time in almost a week, most of everyone deciding to go enjoy the nice weather outside with a stroll through the fields, while the mothers made a trip to the market to gather whatever was needed for the celebrations the next day. You had stayed behind because you wanted to get some work done, and you were sitting in Eunjin’s dad’s office when Taehyung appeared at the door, cheeks pink from the cold outside.

“You should come with us”, he said, hands hidden behind his back.

Even dressed casually Taehyung looked good. Black jeans paired with a black t-shirt that he had tucked in his pants, and he had completed the look with a black belt made of real leather. His hair was ruffled by the wind outside, and the dust of pink on his features made him look so real.

Real and human in the most beautiful way, for a man that had been stealing your breath away for so long now.

“I’m almost done with work”, you said, stretching as you held in a yawn.

Taehyung leaned against the doorframe, his hands still hidden behind his back. “You shouldn’t be working during the holidays.”

“I’m pretty sure you are used to working during the holidays.”

He grinned sheepishly. “Not this year though. And I’d like to spend some time with you.”

It hit you then, that you hadn’t even had a second to yourselves since coming here. Just stolen touches and glances whenever you could, but nothing that you could add to the memories you had been making with Taehyung ever since November. Memories that were just yours to know, your little secret that made for the most beautiful garden in your heart.

“Do you?” you said as blood rushed to your cheeks.

He nodded, before pushing up from the door frame and walking towards you. “I haven’t even had the chance to give you your Sung-tan-jul gift.”

Your eyes widened as he revealed what he had been hiding behind his back: a red velvet box, with an elegant bow holding it close. It looked expensive, and you quickly shook your head.

“Oh no, Tae, you shouldn’t have gotten...”

The smile on his lips turned into a dangerous smirk that had your words die in your throat. He held out the box, and you knew you had turned a shade darker as you grabbed it.

“What is it?” you asked as you ran fingers on the soft velvet.

“Open it.”

You threw him a cautious glance, before gently pulling on the bow until it came undone. You hesitated for half a second before lifting the lid of the box and you were left dumbfounded for a time. Staring at the contents of the box without realizing what they were.

And then realization fell upon you, and you quickly put the lid back on the box.

“Oh my God, Taehyung, why did you give me this here?” you said, as your heart beat frantically in your chest. “What if someone sees it?”

He shrugged, a boyish smile gracing his pretty features. “Nobody is inside.”

“But someone could…”

“It’s just for you to know, sweetheart”, Taehyung interjected, and once again your words died on your lips. “I just thought we could take the next step in all of this.” His last words were punctuated by a motion of his to the air surrounding you.

All of this… Did he really think you would be willing to get tied up and blindfolded here? And you were pretty sure the leathery thing in the middle of the box was a whip of some sort…

Kim Taehyung was out of his mind, and you couldn’t even bring it in you to be mad at you. No, the blood that had raced to your cheeks had trickled down to your core, and warmth lit up your soul.

“But here?”

Your question lingered in the air, as you met his heavy gaze and tried to hold it. You were too much of a coward, and your eyes fell to the floor.

“Well, it’s my birthday”, he pointed out.

It was. You had wished him a happy birthday first thing in the morning, and had hugged him for a moment. A friendly hug, though he had held on to you for a little longer than necessary. No one had paid any mind to it, but the moment had been replaying in your thoughts on a loop ever since this morning.

“Someone could hear us”, you breathed, right as his hand reached for your chin.

He tilted your head backwards, until your eyes had met his again. “You’d just have to be quiet.”

“Eunjin will realize if I’m not in bed with her.” You were defiant, just a little. Something you had realized worked well when Taehyung desired you.

He wet his lips, before leaning down. To your surprise, the kiss landed on your forehead, and your eyelids fluttered shut instinctively.

“You know there could be a typhoon outside and she’d sleep through it.” He straightened, and your eyes fluttered open.

He wasn’t wrong, but he was still crazy if he thought you’d do anything with him when both of your families were under the same roof.

“You’re out of your mind”, you mumbled, and his thumb pulled on your bottom lip. Your mouth fell open, and he leaned down once again, this time kissing you softly before pulling away.

“For you?” He paused, as if to give emphasis to his words. “Always.”

Your hand reached out in the space between you, fingers hooking with the loop of his pants to make sure he wouldn’t pull away. Because you didn’t want him to pull away just yet. Not when your heart filled with warmth and butterflies rose in your stomach.

“You can’t say stuff like that”, you complained.

It wasn’t your first time telling him that. Whenever Taehyung said some stuff that made your heart race, you tended to remind him that whatever you shared was just physical. He was merely teaching you about sex, and you couldn’t let feelings intervene.

You knew situations like the one you shared never ended well when feelings were implied.

“Sorry”, he apologized, though he looked the least bit apologetic. “I’ve just missed being with you.”

He was letting you interpret his words however you wanted. You could tell from the way he was looking down at you. So you interpreted them as a craving of his body, and not something his heart might want. Because you weren’t stupid: there wasn’t a universe out there where Kim Taehyung might want you for more than that. You were both driven by lust, and by a teenage crush that had just held stronger than you had first believed. There was no affection between the two of you, other than that of the affection one holds for a childhood friend.

“So have I”, you breathed, pulling him a little closer.

His crotch was at eye-level with your gaze, yet you refused to look down. You knew the position was most definitely driving him insane though, and it made you feel powerful.

He often did that. Make you feel powerful, that is. It was addicting, like everything that came with him. Taehyung was like a cigarette, and the nicotine addiction was burning you from the inside out.

He grabbed your hand, pulling you up to your feet. You didn’t resist, following his lead until he had wrapped your arms around his neck and had put his large hands on your waist. There seemed to be a moment of the world holding its breath, and then Taehyung leaned down, pressing his lips against yours.

You melted into his touch, kissing him back with all the want in you. All the passion and the burning and the intoxicating feelings he brought up in you. He met your fire with a swipe of his tongue against your bottom lip, and you parted your mouth open for him.

“Oppa, do you know where eoma keeps the gloves?” Eunjin yelled, probably from downstairs.

You jumped out of Taehyung’s arms, face burning red, insides the temperature of molten metal. He had a startled expression on his face, but his voice didn’t waver as he replied to his sister, before adding, “I’ll be out in a second”.

You listened to Eunjin move downstairs, heart beating wildly in your chest. It didn’t calm down until you heard the door open and close downstairs, and the house fell silent again.

“That was close”, Taehyung said, boxy grin on his lips.

He took a step towards you, and you stepped back. “Nu-uh, no more of this until tonight”, you warned him.

His grin turned into a smirk, and he looked at you with his smoldering gaze for a time. “I’ll be waiting for you then.”

You nodded, slowly, taking a deep breath to calm the wild beats of your heart. Your gaze moved to the box you had left discarded on the desk next to your laptop. “And also hide that somewhere. Eunjin will see it if I put it in her room.”

“Yes, ma’am”, Taehyung agreed. There was a teasing undertone to his voice, and you folded your arms on your chest, getting ready to scold him when he stepped closer so quickly you didn’t have time to move back. He pressed a kiss on the tip of your nose, before smiling at you with that blinding smile of his.

You stood, stunned, as he grabbed the box before walking out of the room, throwing a wink at you over his shoulder. And then he was gone, and you were left fighting your treacherous heart.

You reminded yourself that you couldn’t fall in love. You’d never be delusional enough to fall in love with him. But when he acted like that, it made it far too easy for your heart to fill with endearment. It was dangerous ground to tread.

You didn’t want to set yourself up for a broken heart.

 *****

                 The house was dark when you stepped outside Eunjin’s room, somewhere between midnight and one in the morning. Her snores had been keeping you awake, that was true, but it mostly was the perspective of meeting with Taehyung that had kept your eyes wide open, waiting until you were convinced Eunjin wouldn’t realize you were gone.

Taehyung had been teasing, all night. All smirks and winks when nobody was watching. He had caressed your thigh under the table during the meal, unbeknownst to everyone. Everyone but you, who had been forced to clench your teeth as you had tried to ignore the effect he had on you.

As if that was likely to ever happen. He was Kim Taehyung. You didn’t think there was a world out there where Kim Taehyung didn’t have an effect on the women surrounding him. Especially when he had been your childhood crush.

His room was down the hallway, and you had to pass in front of Jeongyu’s room to get there. Luckily enough, Jeongyu had lent his room to your parents for the weekend, and you knew your father’s loud breathing was going to cover the creaking of the hallway as you tiptoed towards Taehyung’s room. You could only hope your mother wouldn’t need to go to the bathroom while you were with Taehyung.

Yet… the possibility of getting caught… it made you feel hot, in some way. Because you were breaking rules. You, the perfect daughter that had never done anything she shouldn’t…

It was way past time to be imperfect.

You reached Taehyung’s room, heart beating wildly against your ribcage. You knocked, a gentle knock that probably hadn’t even sounded on his side of the door. Yet the door slowly opened, and Taehyung’s face appeared in the crack between the door and the wall. His eyes shone brightly, expectantly, and as soon as he focused on you, he opened the door for you to walk in.

Needless to say, he very carefully shut it behind you, as you took a few tentative steps in his room.

“You…” you breathed, a little louder than you had first intended.

“Shh”, he shushed you. He walked to you, gently grabbing your arm to make you turn towards him.

You obeyed, because you always obeyed whatever Taehyung told you to do, and you found yourself facing him. Well, tilting your head back to look up at him, as he stood closer to you than you had expected him to be.

Taehyung wasn’t a particularly tall man, but when he was next to you it felt as if he towered over you, with a dangerous look in his eyes that made you gulp.

“We don’t want someone to hear us”, he pointed out, before bending down to press a chaste kiss on your lips. When he straightened, his eyes had recovered their mischievous shine. “Do you know how pretty you were tonight?”

You blushed, wetting your lips. “I wanted to look good for you.”

“I figured.” He smirked, slowly nodding his head. He then grabbed your hand, looking around his room. “How do you like it?”

You liked it very much. Indeed, Taehyung had lit up candles all around his room, creating a romantic ambiance that made you want to be closer to him. To be entwined with him until you forgot where you ended and where he started. From the look on his face, you knew he wanted that too.

It was then that you realized he was highly likely to take your virginity tonight. Not that virginity was something that mattered, it really just was a social construct. But Taehyung was going to take it tonight, whatever it was, and heat immediately pooled at your core at the thought of it.

“It’s pretty”, you breathed, catching his gaze again.

The candles casted flickering lights on the side of his face, making his honey skin glow with warmth. You reached between you, brushing a stand of hair behind his ear. He carefully observed you as you did so, and you wondered if he could see your heart beating in your chest.

It really did feel like it was about to break free of your ribcage.

“It’s going to be prettier when you’re tied up on my bed.”

Taehyung’s words entirely stopped your heart in your chest. They killed you right on the spot, and maybe that was the reason why you found yourself grabbing the collar of his shirt, pulling him into your embrace.

Taehyung’s lips crashed against yours, and your whole soul caught fire. You let out a breathy sound, and he swallowed it hungrily as he grabbed your waist, pulling you flush against him. His body was solid, beautiful, against you like that, and you let your hands fall from his collar to his shoulders, before moving them to his chest. His heart was beating wildly under your fingertips, and you breathed out a moan again as one of his hands cupped your ass.

“Happy birthday to me”, he said, barely even pulling away to speak the words. No, his lips moved against yours in the shape of his words, and it made you chuckle shyly.

“Happy birthday”, you echoed, and the kiss turned sweeter. Slow, steady, like he had been kissing you that first time at your place.

Taehyung tentatively swiped his tongue at your bottom lip, tasting you, and you parted your lips to suck on his tongue. You could tell he liked it, and the sweetness of the kiss almost immediately returned to its previous fire, with Taehyung pushing you back towards the bed.

You sat on it, mostly because the back of your knees had hit the side, and you looked up at Taehyung, eyes round and innocent as he towered over you.

You couldn’t believe this man would be the one to fuck you for the first time.

“I want to tie you up”, he breathed, and his eyes shot to the headboard of the bed.

You followed his line of gaze, only noticing that he had already tied the silk ropes to it. All that was left to complete his fantasy was you, lying in his bed.

“But I need to undress you first, mmh?”

You were pretty sure blood had rushed to your cheeks again, but you didn’t have time to contemplate on it before he pulled his shirt over his head, and your gaze fell to the strong planes of his body. In this lighting, he looked sharper, as if he was made of glass. You could only hope he wouldn’t break under your fingers.

But then again, you were pretty sure you were the one likely to break when Kim Taehyung was looking at you like that. With pupils blown wide in his dark eyes, making them look like black pits in the middle of his face. His familiar lips kept the sight from being terrifying, but a tiny part of you knew you ought to be afraid.

You ignored it with all the lust in your heart.

Once his shirt was off, Taehyung started working on his belt, undoing it with skilled fingers as his gaze never left yours. You found it hard not to look away, but you knew Taehyung loved his eye contact. So you focused on him, even as his belt came undone. He dropped it to the ground, and the loop hitting the ground made a thumping sound that took you by surprise.

It was loud, in the silence of the night, and you could only hope no one had heard.

His pants were soon to follow, pooling around his ankles, and you couldn’t keep from looking down as the distinct motion of him stroking his dick caught in your peripheral vision.

Your eyes dipped down and his dick was free, half soft, yet he was pumping it slowly. Heat pooled at your core, and you moved closer to the edge of the bed.

Taehyung took a step towards you, and you didn’t even hesitate before going right in, licking at his head.

His eyes were shut when you looked up, and you took that as a cue to start working on him, just how he had shown you to. You wrapped your lips around the head, using your tongue to play with the sensitive spot at the back of the head, and you replaced his hand at the base of his dick with one of yours. That hand immediately started stroking him, with the perfect pressure, and you sucked on the head before starting to bob back and forth to the same rhythm, eyes looking up until Taehyung’s eyelids finally fluttered open to reveal his lustful gaze.

“Fuck”, he whispered, in that low baritone voice of his that made you go crazy inside.

You shut your eyes as he bucked his hips, hitting the back of your throat with his cock. It had turned harder in your mouth, and you gagged around it. Taehyung gently caressed one of your cheeks, willing your eyes to open until you met his gaze.

His gaze looked different, now. Still dark, but shining from within. Perhaps because of the candles, and of their soft glow on his honey skin. Or maybe it was the emotions in their depths. Emotions you couldn’t interpret, didn’t understand, but that made you pull away.

Sucking his dick while he was looking at you like that felt too weird.

“I should be the one going down on you”, he murmured. “Especially with all I have planned for you tonight.”

No sweetness coated his words. Just pure filth, and really it contrasted deeply with his soft eyes. Yet it made you gulp, and you slowly nodded your head, before standing up. Your hands instinctively rested on his chest, and his large ones found your waist. He pulled you in, going for a kiss that landed at the corner of your mouth. You barely felt its warm caress, especially not as his hands found their way under your shirt. He started drawing circles on your skin, gently, and he kissed the other corner of your mouth.

You breathed out, and he swallowed it as he pressed his lips against yours, moving them slowly. It was a steady rhythm you knew too well, one that had started feeling like home after the first few times you had hung out with Taehyung in the secrecy of your relationship.

He pulled away, offering you a small smile as he pulled your shirt over your head. You shivered without the fabric on your skin, nipples perked up in the space between you two. Taehyung glanced down at them, and his smile turned appreciative as he cupped your breast with one of his big hands while the other one worked to get you out of your shorts. Once they pooled around your ankles, you stepped out and closer to him, pressing your chest against his until he let your breast go to hold you flush against him.

He kissed you again then, wilder, with all the fire he had kissed you with earlier. It was hot, and you wondered if you would melt under his skilled digits. So hot he seared a mark on your lips each time his mouth moved against yours. You met him with the same fire, offered him that same passion, as you focused on the space between you. On where his dick was trapped between your bodies, standing proud and tall.

And very hard.

You moaned in his mouth, and Taehyung cupped your ass, before slapping it once. Still he didn’t pull away, and the breath in your lungs became scarce, yet you didn’t care. You would die kissing him if you had to.

There was no better way to go than kissing Kim Taehyung.

Unfortunately, he probably thought otherwise, because Taehyung pulled away, sucking in a sharp breath as your eyes fluttered open.

“On the bed, princess”, he said, gesturing behind you.

So it was time. You gulped, nodding, before climbing on the bed, nestling yourself in the pillows at the headboard. Taehyung kneeled in front of you, large hands grabbing your ankles. He caressed his way up your legs, up to your knees, leaving a trail of goosebumps behind his touch, before going back down to your ankles. He only then pulled on you so you were in a lying position.

The male chuckle he let out told you he had caught sight of the pooling wetness that had already soaked through your panties.

“You’re already so wet, aren’t you?” he said, baritone voice carrying to your ears in the silence of the night.

He had whispered the words, just for you to hear, yet they had sounded so loud. Loud and clear, and you instinctively brought your thighs together, looking for some friction.

“Don’t”, he warned you, before spreading your legs wide open. “I want to taste my birthday gift before I fuck it into oblivion.”

A shiver of pleasure ran up your spine.

“Please do.”

He smirked, tilting his head to the side. A predator eyeing its prey.

“Oh, I will. Should I tie you up first?”

He didn’t let you answer the question. Instead, he dove in, pressing an open-mouthed kiss to the place where your juice was already soaking your panties. You would have moaned out loud had you been alone and not in his family home. Instead, you let out a breathy sound, something that resembled more of a whine.

Before he continued, Taehyung pulled your panties down your legs, observing you through half-lidded eyes. You held his gaze, giving in to his fantasies, but once his mouth found your pussy again, tongue dipping between your lips, your eyelids fluttered shut.

You bit down on your lip, hard, trying to hold in your sounds, as your hand flew in the space between you, finding a handful of his hair to hold onto. He let you do it as he made out with your pussy, his deep chuckle making your nerve endings light up.

Once he got tired of his tongue inside of you, Taehyung focused on your clit, flicking at it unforgivably, establishing a harsh rhythm that he soon accompanied with a long finger curling inside of you. It stretched your walls, but just a little. Nothing like his dick would.

The thought was enough to make you clench against him, and Taehyung hissed.

“Relax, princess, I want to be able to fuck you”, he said, before going back to your clit. This time, he moved slower, and your walls released him, enough so that he added a second finger. The combination of the two fingers spreading you wide open and the slow steady flicking on your clit had the corners of your vision turning blurry, until all you could focus on was his face between your legs.

He looked devilishly good down there.

“Tae…” you breathed out.

He glanced up at you, his lustful gaze burning into yours, and you felt an orgasm forming on the horizon of your conscience. It hit you head on when he pushed a third finger inside of you as he sucked right on your clit, teasing the bundle of nerves with the tip of his tongue.

Your eyes shut as you came, and your thighs tightened around his face. He worked you through your high, slow and steady, before pulling out of you once he was sure he had milked the last of the orgasm out of you.

It took a moment for your gaze to find his again, and you almost wished it hadn’t. Because Taehyung was holding the small leather whip now, and he ran it up your side.

“Can I use this on you?” he asked as he traced the shape of your breast, before caressing your nipple with it.

You held in the moan, or maybe the curse that had taken shape on your lips.

“Not to hurt you”, he said, almost like a promise.

“I don’t think I can stay silent if you use that on me”, you admitted, cheeks burning with the afterglow of your orgasm.

He pouted, looking at the whip, before slowly nodding his head. “We’ll have to save it for when we’re back in Seoul.”

You wet your lips, nodding before sitting up in his bed as he threw the whip to the side. He must have dried his hands of your juice at some point, because when Taehyung cupped your cheeks to kiss you slowly, his fingers were dry. Dry and gentle, yet he held you firmly, running his thumbs on your skin.

You reached between you, aiming blindly for his dick, and Taehyung jumped as you found its velvety softness, wrapping your hand around the base before pumping him a couple of times. He pulled away then, chuckling.

“You’re such a good girl”, he praised.

You melted under the praise, gripping him tighter until his gaze had turned even darker. You only understood what that meant for you when he grabbed your hand, pulling it away from him.

Away from him and towards the silk rope on one side of the headboard.

“You…” you let out, as he started tying you up with skilled fingers.

“I don’t want you touching me”, he murmured. “This is all about what you feel.”

“I like touching you”, you complained, with a little whiny voice that had him offering you a soft smile.

“I’ll let you touch later.” He held your gaze, before kissing your lips softly once. “Unless you are uncomfortable with me tying you up.”

As much as being tied up for your first time felt weird, it also felt right. Right because Taehyung was home, and you trusted him.

You knew he would untie you the moment you looked uncomfortable.

“No, it’s okay”, you said, offering him consent. “Just don’t tie it too tight.”            

He smiled softly, pecking your lips another time. “I would never.”

He then guided you until you were lying down, before tying your other wrist on the other side of the headboard. The position was strange, but it didn’t hurt, and he had given you enough slack in the rope so you could pull on the restraints a little, keeping it from being painful for your shoulders.

Once that was done, Taehyung moved away until he was standing, and your eyes followed him carefully as he reached for condoms in his bedside table. He put a condom on, stroking his dick up and down a few times to make sure it was well in place, before moving back between your legs.

He was big. His large head stretched the condom thin, and you looked down at him as he positioned himself next to your entrance.

He caught your gaze, offering you another one of those sweet smiles of his. The ones that tugged his lips downwards a little, yet you knew they held happiness.

Or whatever happiness he could find in the act of having sex with you.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” he asked, holding your gaze.

You didn’t answer right away. Instead, you watched the shadows that danced on his features from the flickering light of the candles. He waited as you remained silent, patiently, hand still wrapped around the base of his dick.

Taehyung felt like home. Look like it too, familiar features that you had come to know growing up. He felt like innocence and nostalgia, in the right way. Even though the act you were about to do held nothing innocent.

“Yes.”

You had never been more sure of anything in your life.

Taehyung nodded slowly, and his gaze turned dark again. The sweetness was entirely gone from his face when he started pushing in, and you instinctively pulled against the restraints at the burn.

“Easy”, he whispered once the head was in. He let go of his dick, running soothing hands on your sides. “It will hurt a little at first.”

Your eyes fell shut as he kept pushing in, stretching you wider than his fingers ever had. It did hurt, a little, but mostly it felt strange. You focused on the strangeness, letting the pain go as he continued his way in, up until he reached your cervix.

That part hurt like a bitch, and you let out a small yelp of pain.

“Are you okay?” he asked as he pulled out.

“Sorry.”

“Are you okay?” he repeated, completely ignoring your apology.

You nodded slowly, but refused to meet his gaze.

“Look at me”, he murmured, and one of his large hands cupped your cheek.

Your eyes fluttered open instinctively. He was ethereal, kneeling between your legs, hair falling in his gaze. You tried to move the strand away, but the silk rope held you in place.

“Do you want me to untie you?” he asked.

“No”, you answered, with a small voice. “Can you go in again?”

He remained silent, but he obeyed, pushing his dick inside of you once more. You held his gaze until he bottomed out again, and the pain shot through your nerves. It was a little less this time, but still there nonetheless.

“I’m hurting you”, he stated.

You shook your head. “It’s just…” you trailed off, swallowing audibly. “It hurts when you are all the way in.”

He pulled out a little, and the sensation dissipated to nothing.

“Better?”

You nodded.

“Words”, he reminded you.

It made you smile. “Yes Tae, it’s better.”

He smiled too, before bending down. It made his dick move inside of you, but your eyes fluttered shut as he kissed you sweetly, before slowly pulling almost all the way out.

“Then I won’t go too deep for now”, he murmured against your lips. You nodded against him, before kissing him again.

It was a slow kiss, timed with the back and forth of his hips. The sensation still felt strange, not as good as what his fingers made you feel like, but it was a good kind of strange.

The kind that made your heart beat steadier in your chest as he kept on kissing you, swallowing every breathy sound you made.

It took a moment, but the sensation slowly changed, inching towards pleasure as he moved a little faster, shifting a little until he hit a different spot inside of you. It didn’t hurt, not even a little bit, but you could feel how big he was, how much he was stretching you.

You really had chosen a big dick for your first time, hadn’t you?

Taehyung moved from your lips to your neck, pressing open-mouthed kisses on the skin. You moaned softly, quietly, and he picked up the pace a little. You could feel his balls slapping your ass each time he went almost all the way in, but you were pretty sure there were still a few inches of his dick out of you.

You doubted he’d ever be able to fuck you with the entirety of it. But as you slowly eased into the sensation, you pulled on the silk ropes, fingers aching to be touching him.

“Easy, princess”, he breathed on the spot under your ear. His low voice sent shivers down your spine and straight to your core, and you wrapped your legs around him, pulling him closer.

He reached deep inside of you. Yet this time it didn’t hurt, and you even let out a small moan that had him look up from your neck.

“Quiet”, he reminded you, before pressing a kiss on your lips. “Quiet or I’ll have to stop.”

“No.”

Your quick reply had him smirking, and he straightened until he was back to a kneeling position between your legs. His dick was still deep inside of you, where he had stilled a moment ago, and you wondered if this was still Taehyung.

If he was still the man you knew and had had a crush on. Because the next moment everything lost coherency, and the only reason why you couldn’t moan out loud was that he had pressed a hand on your mouth, holding one of your thighs with the other.

He fucked into you. Relentlessly. Pushing you to your limits, trying different angles that had you seeing stars. He was panting over you, sweat glittering on his brow with the light of the candles. But he never slowed down, keeping that same unforgiving pace that turned everything inside of you to liquid lava.

“Such a good little princess”, he breathed, and there was an edge to his voice. Maybe because he too was keeping his grunts and moans in, or maybe because he was on the verge of coming.

You couldn’t tell, and your brain had completely lost the ability to think a couple of moments ago.

“So tight”, he praised as he slowed the rhythm, and you met his gaze. “So fucking tight.”

He pushed inside of you harder, and a pained expression moved on your features. He immediately stopped, before bending down again.

“Let me untie you.”

You hadn’t realized that you were pulling on the restraints so hard, but as soon as your wrists were freed you wrapped your arms around Taehyung’s neck, pulling him into a kiss. He fucked into you again then, quick and hard and he swallowed the moans that escaped the confines of your mouth.

Your hands roamed his body, getting lost in his hair and caressing the skin of his back, until you were pretty sure you could mold his shape into mud. Until you were pretty sure you knew every little aspect of him, as his lips kept moving against yours. His tongue met yours, and he kissed you wildly, letting out a grunt that had your walls clenching against him.

“Fuck fuck fuck”, he cursed in your mouth.

You let out another breathy moan, and he pulled back to look at your face. He was so close you could count the moles on his features, and you reached to trace them, gently, as his rhythm slowed down.

“Everything okay?” you asked him, almost pensively, as he moved way too slow for pleasure to steal your thoughts again.

“You feel like heaven, princess”, he praised, and he landed a kiss on the top of your nose. “But I’m not sure I want to come yet.”

You bit your lip, before pulling him closer again. Not enough for your lips to touch, but enough for your eyelids to fall shut from the proximity. “Please come for me, Tae.”

“Fuck.” His curse held no bite as he nodded. You watched his blown pupils as he started moving faster again, until his balls were slapping your ass once more. It was a little loud, but you didn’t want to stop Taehyung from chasing his high, so you kept silent, holding your moans in as he dug his face in your neck, sucking a mark on your shoulder to keep his own moan in.

It hurt. Just a little. The kind of pain that made your nails dig in his back. Just a little. But that was enough to send Taehyung over the edge, and he cursed as he emptied inside the condom, stilling his movements deep inside of you. You could feel his dick twitching as he unloaded, and you held him close as he bit into the spot he had been sucking on.

Halfway through the ordeal, Taehyung moved his head from your neck. You barely had time to look at his glossy lips before he had them pressed against yours, and he kissed you through the remainder of his orgasm. Fast and wild and wet, with his tongue chasing yours in your mouth.

Once he was done, Taehyung rested his forehead against yours, and you breathed the same air until your heartbeats had gone steady in your chests again. Only then did Taehyung pull away, and his dick pulled free from your pussy, leaving you empty.

It really did feel empty after he had been stretching you like that.

“How are you feeling?” he asked as he rolled next to you, turning his face to look at you.

It took a moment for you to meet his gaze, and you just watched him carefully as he awaited your reply ever so patiently.

“Good”, you whispered.

He smiled, that same sweet smile that had stolen your heart when you were just a teenager. “Thank you.”

“What for?”

He looked away, eyes trailing to the ceiling. You watched the flickering lights of the candles on his profile for a time, before looking up at the ceiling too.

“For being here with me for my birthday”, he said. “But also for trusting me with your first time.”

You wet your lips, shrugging your shoulders. “I think some part of me always imagined that it would be you.”

You wanted to curse yourself the moment the words had left your lips.

“What?”

His eyes had moved back to you now, but you refused to meet his gaze. “I had a crush on you when we were younger.”

“Oh.” He remained silent for a time, and you wondered if he could hear every painful beat of your heart. “That’s cute.”

You blushed even though your cheeks were already flushed from the sex. “Cute?”

“Mmh”, he hummed in agreement. “You’re cute.”

You looked at him then, meeting his dark eyes. They were crinkling at the corners, as the corners of his lips tugged upwards on his handsome features.

“Am I?”

He nodded slowly. “Especially when I’m fucking you.”

A teasing glint had taken form in his gaze, and you rolled your eyes. “I should have expected you’d be an ass about it.”

“Hey”, he let out, and he rested a hand palm first on your stomach. “I’d never be an ass when it comes to you.”

Could he tell he had stopped your heart in your chest with that simple sentence?

“Never?”

He seemed to ponder for a time. “Not purposefully, no.”

It made you wary, and you furrowed your brows. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“That I don’t want to be an ass when it comes to you.”

You didn’t want to feel like you felt then. As if the crush had never left and was slowly blossoming into more. But he made it so damn hard.

“As much as I like hearing you say that, I should probably head back to Eunjin’s room”, you murmured, before cowering away from his gaze as disappointment filled it.

You were fleeing. You knew you were, but you didn’t have another option.

Kim Taehyung was far too dangerous for your own good.

 *****

               Days came and went, faster than you had ever imagined they could. Being held by Kim Taehyung felt like that: as if you were a fast car racing for the end of the street.

You could only hope the end of the street wasn’t made of a stonewall.

The rest of the Holidays had been lovely, with your family and his. You had then gone back home to Seoul, and your secret meetings with Taehyung resumed in their usual scene: him in your apartment, and occasionally you in his. You liked going to his place, and it was needless to say why: his dog was one of the cutest you had seen in your life. It was also reassuring, in some way, to know that Taehyung didn’t mind you being in his place. Even if what you shared was still but an illicit affair, being held by him in his bed while the alarm clock on his bedside table read the hour of early mornings felt just right.

You didn’t have a chance to meet up often. It made you wary, sad, and sometimes you thought yourself to be delusional. Because you wanted to see him more, wanted to share his days the way you shared his nights. The Holidays had given you a glimpse of that. A week, outside of time, where you had known you’d get to see him every day. Where he had brushed his fingers against yours when no one else looked, as if he just couldn’t resist closing the distance between you.

Months passed, and you wondered if there would be a day where you wouldn’t need to wait. Sometimes, you considered ending things with Taehyung, just because he was silent for a while. But whenever he held you again, you knew you couldn’t stop. Drugs were addictive, and Kim Taehyung was the most addictive drug this world held.

The devil through and through. Because he was sweet, giving in to your fantasies. Cuddling you when you didn’t feel like having sex, teasing you about shared memories or kissing your shoulder while you cooked food for him. Occasional meetings, yes, but all of them held feelings you had never thought you’d feel.

The months of winter passed, with icy winds carrying snowdrifts and staying in as cold reigned over the world. You worked a lot during those months, and maybe that most of all was the reason why you never found the courage to speak to Taehyung. Because even though you were growing wary, seeing him felt like a day of summer in the middle of winter, and you needed it. It wasn’t like he treated you badly. Taehyung was sweet, with everything he did. You just couldn’t help but wonder what he was doing when you weren’t together.

You knew some stuff from his public persona, but Taehyung was far more than what met the eyes of outsiders. His mind was complex, a maze you hadn’t been able to figure out. You didn’t know if you were to figure it out someday, and some part of you wondered if it would have been different, had he not become an idol. Had he stayed in Daegu, next to you. It was treacherous thoughts, so you pushed them away whenever they came.

Surprisingly enough, Eunjin didn’t notice the change in you. Or maybe she had chosen not to, and she never questioned you whenever you fell silent, or gazed in the distance longingly. It was the strangest thing to be hiding something so big from your best friend, but it had become second nature a while ago.

The month of April was pretty, in Seoul. With flowers blossoming on every street corner, and warm winds erasing the chills winter had left behind. They also eased the thoughts that held a dark corner of your heart, whenever it came to Taehyung. Shed light to the darkness, especially when Taehyung invited you over some early afternoon. It was unusual, as you always met later in the evening, but he had called you on one of your rare days off. You weren’t going to miss the opportunity.

You got ready quickly, dressing up in a black skirt that you paired with a dark cardigan over a white polo shirt. It looked preppy, a style you had realized Taehyung enjoyed. Though his clothing usually was far more expensive than yours, it still felt great whenever he complimented you for how you dressed.

Taehyung’s compliments hit differently than those of the other men around you. Not that there were a lot of men. Except for the males in your family and Jeongyu, you didn’t really talk to any men other than Taehyung.

You didn’t want that to change.

You made your way to Taehyung’s place slowly, enjoying the warm breeze the day held. The sun shone brightly, with only a few lazy white clouds streaming overhead. Birds sang their chirpy songs, accompanying the music you were bobbing your head to from the lone earbud in your left ear. You bowed at the sweet old street vendor that offered you tteokbokki, reminding you of that night Taehyung had come to pick you up. The first night something had happened between the two of you, when a whole new world had opened up to you. It plastered a smile on your lips, and you arrived at Taehyung’s place in a cheery mood.

It only swelled even more when he opened his door to you, with a matching bright smile on his own lips. He spoke your name softly, grabbing your hand and pulling you in.

You giggled as he wrapped his arms around your waist. “Hi”, you greeted him, hugging him back as the fragrance of his detergent hit your nose.

It smelled just like him, and you shut your eyes as you rested your head against his shoulder.

“I’m happy you could come over”, he murmured. He pulled away from the hug, just enough to press a kiss on the top of your head. “Yeontan missed you.”

Another light giggle fell from your lips. “Yeontan?” you questioned, even if you could hear the dog barking from the other room.

“Mmh.” Taehyung nodded, and he kissed the top of your head again. “I missed you too.”

“That’s more like it.” You said it teasingly, and Taehyung chuckled over you.

“Where did you get tteokbokki?”

You had all but forgotten the little plastic bag that hung from your hand, and you pulled away from the hug to give it to Taehyung.

 “Some sweet lady offered it to me while I was on my way.”

 A mischievous smile spread on his lips, one you echoed as you took off your shoes to follow him in.

Yeontan was on the couch when you walked in the living room, barking happily from the cushion he was sitting on. You made your way to the little dog, picking him up to hug him against your chest as Taehyung kept moving in, towards the kitchen area. You followed him as the dog tried licking your chin, which made you laugh giddily.

If the look Taehyung offered you over his shoulder wasn’t endearing, you didn’t know what endearment was. It filled your heart with warmth, and blush crept on your cheeks.

Taehyung put the tteokbokki down on his table, before moving to grab chopsticks for the both of you. You sat on a chair, putting Yeontan down on your thighs as you watched Taehyung walk back to your side. He sat on the chair next to you, leaving the chopsticks next to the plastic bag before bending down to press a kiss on Yeontan’s head.

He pressed a kiss on your cheek next, before moving to grab the tteokbokki from the bag. It smelled delicious as he pulled the lid off, and he smiled at you as he offered you a short glance.

“Enjoying the day off?” he asked, and a second later he was digging in the tteokbokki.

You followed his lead, and the sweet and spicy flavor filled your mouth as you chewed on the rice cake. Taehyung seemed to regret his decision, fanning his mouth as a disgusted scowl formed on his features.

“Why is it so spicy?” he asked after he swallowed.

You let out a small laugh. “It’s always spicy”, you reminded him.

He narrowed his eyes in suspicion, and you gently shoved him in the shoulder.

“Actually”, he said after a short moment of silence. “I have something I wanted to ask you.”

“What’s up?” you asked, without thinking more of it.

You were in a good mood after all. But when Taehyung didn’t reply right away, only watching you carefully, you turned your head towards him, putting the chopsticks down on the bowl.

“Is something wrong?” you asked, voice smaller all of a sudden.

“If I asked you to pretend to be my girlfriend for a dinner, would you say yes?”

You sucked in a breath, eyes going a little wide. Your heart skipped a beat, and you found you couldn’t hold his gaze.

“What?”

You could see him worry at his bottom lip as he thought, probably searching for the right words to say to convince you. “The members have been on my back about being single for a while”, he said carefully. “I just want them to stop.”

You could understand where he was coming from. People, mostly your family, often annoyed you about being single, about not having someone in your life. It got on your nerves sometimes, but ever since you had started seeing Taehyung, you had found that you didn’t mind all that much when they asked you questions. You only had to let your thoughts diverge towards the arms of the man sitting next to you and the annoyance disappeared.

But the word ‘pretend’ in his mouth sounded bitter. Sour, as if it had gone bad before leaving the confines of his beautiful mouth. Or maybe it was just the wariness that had been lurking at the back of your mind that suddenly grew stronger.

Taehyung was looking at you. With a small pout on his lips, an expectant look in his eyes. His cheeks were a little puffed up, and for a moment you wanted to reach out and pinch them. You resisted though, keeping one hand on the table and the other on Yeontan’s back. To calm the itch in your fingers, you scratched the dog, and your eyes moved away from Taehyung.

“For a dinner?” you asked.

Taehyung must have thought that meant yes, because a boxy smile made its way to his lips, making his whole face shine just like the world outside was shining. “Tonight, yeah. Jimin invited all of us over.”

“Tonight?” you repeated, eyes going round once again. “Tae, that gives me no time to get ready!”

He wet his lips, before glancing at you. “You look gorgeous, princess.”    

You couldn’t say no. You couldn’t say no to his sweet face and his sweet words. You were pretty sure he could get you to crawl in mud if he wanted to.

“Tae…” you trailed off, and a small pout formed on your lips.

He echoed it with one of his own, and he murmured your name with a low voice that sent a shiver down your spine. It reminded you of the way he whispered it against your skin whenever you were entwined, and really, you couldn’t say no at all.

“What do I get in exchange?” you asked, looking down at Yeontan as you pet him.

“I’ll let you go on a shopping spree with my card?”

The suggestion made a small laugh bubble in your chest. “Tae, I can pay for my clothes myself.”

You glanced at him, but his eyes were looking at the tteokbokki as he furrowed his brows, lost in thoughts. “I can buy you food?”

You rolled your eyes. “Why do you think I want a gift?”

“What else could I give you?”

Your heart felt strange in your chest again. You. For real. You wanted to say it, but something kept you from doing so. All you could do was shrug as you looked away. Until Yeontan moved under the palm of your hand.

“You could let me have Yeontan.”

Taehyung gasped. “My dog? Never.”

“Then don’t make me pretend to be your girlfriend.”

“Please?”

You rolled your eyes again, before offering him a small smile. “I’ll just steal Yeontan without you realizing. But I’ll go with you.”

He smiled brightly. “I’ll ignore the threat, but I won’t forget it.”

He planted a kiss on your cheek, before grabbing more tteokbokki. You followed his lead, watching his profile carefully. Until an idea popped up in your mind.

“You know what we should do?”

He cocked an eyebrow as he looked at you, chewing the tteokbokki as quickly as he could to swallow before it burned his mouth too much.

“What?”

A wicked smile grew on your lips. “We should get matching outfits.”

His eyes widened, lighting up with agreement. “Oh, they definitely would believe us then.”

You ignored the ache that formed in your heart at his words as you nodded your head.

“You’re a genius”, he complimented you.

Your wicked smile melted softly. “Doing my best.”

And as Taehyung offered you one of his iconic grins, you realized that you cared about him far more than you even thought possible. Because his happiness made you happy.

Dangerous grounds to tread for sure.

 *****

               Turned out Taehyung had everything in his wardrobe to match his outfit with yours after all. His pants matched your skirt perfectly, and his no-sleeves wool cardigan was similar enough to yours to give the right vibe. He also had a white polo-shirt, one that almost looked like a golf polo, that worked perfectly to complete his outfit. A black belt hugged his pants to his hips, and the smile on his lips matched yours just right.

The perfect picture of a happy couple.

The elevator leading to Jimin’s apartment felt crowded, with just you and Taehyung standing there. Your eyes had diverged to a stain on the carpet, and Taehyung watched your profile for a time as the elevator shot upwards.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

You chuckled breathlessly. “I’m anxious. I don’t know your friends. And what if Eunjin learns that I was here?”

“She won’t”, Taehyung reassured you. “She barely talks to the members. They’ll never connect the dots.”

You knew he was right. Because there was no way in hell Taehyung would have asked you if he had thought it might reach Eunjin’s ears. Still, your previous wariness hadn’t let go of you, and you were pretty sure you were about to step in the biggest mess you had ever stepped in.

“Plus”, Taehyung added, and he turned to face you and grab your hands. “They’ll love you, I’m sure of it.”

“It doesn’t really matter if they love me or not”, you pointed out. “I’m probably never going to see them again.”

Taehyung remained silent, though he tried to catch your gaze as you stubbornly kept it on the floor. Once he understood you weren’t going to look up, he grabbed your chin to force you to meet his gaze.

“Let’s not think about that right now, mmh?” he murmured as soon as your eyes locked together. “We have to put on a good show.”

You gulped, glancing down at the lips you had kissed far more often than you should have. They looked just as soft as ever, and they glistened a little from when he had wet them just a few seconds ago.

“I’m not an actress like you…”

“Just follow my lead”, he encouraged. “You’ll do great, princess, I’m not worried.”

And as the elevator dinged and the doors started sliding open, Taehyung leaned down to press a soft kiss to your lips. It felt strange to be kissed by him somewhere else other than in your apartments, but your eyes immediately fell shut, and you let out a small sigh.

“Why am I not surprised?” a voice said from outside of the elevator.

You startled out of Taehyung’s arms, blush creeping on your cheeks. Kim Seokjin was standing outside the elevator, arm outstretched to keep the doors from closing shut.

“Hyung!” Taehyung let out happily. He introduced you, before pointing at the older man, eyes on you. “This is Kim Seokjin.”

“World-wide handsome”, Seokjin said as a way to introduce himself, a small smirk on his plump lips. “We almost thought you didn’t exist.”

You pursed your lips to keep in the nervous laugh that had almost fallen from your mouth. Because you actually didn’t exist, but they couldn’t know, right? “Nice to meet you.”

Seokjin chuckled. “Sorry, that was rude. Nice to meet you too, Y/n.”

An alarm started blaring in the elevator, startling you.

“I was on my way down to get some stuff Jimin forgot at the grocery store”, Seokjin said as he got in.

“We’ll come with”, Taehyung said, but it was useless, since the doors had already slid shut.

You were encased in silence, and your gaze slid to Taehyung. Seokjin stood between the two of you, with his face angled towards the floor. He looked sad, for a moment there, but when Taehyung asked him what he was supposed to get, the shadows lifted and his features lit up as he answered.

They talked for a time, and you tried to disappear through the carpet, not wanting to attract Seokjin’s attention. It was a failure because he glanced at you, offering you the whole of his focus. “How did you meet Taehyung?”

You really hadn’t planned this thing right, had you? Because you had no idea what to say. Taehyung looked at you, waiting for the lie you would craft, but nothing came to mind.

“Uh…” you let out, as your cheeks burned red. “We…” you paused, looking at Taehyung for salvation. He offered none, and you finally decided to settle on something that was as close to the truth as you dared to get. “We grew up together.”

“You’re from Daegu?” Seokjin asked, a soft smile on his lips.

You nodded. “My parents lived near Taehyung’s parents’ farm.”

Seokjin nodded, before starting to talk about his farmer uncle. You didn’t really have a chance to plug in a word, and Taehyung made sure to keep Seokjin going. Probably because that way he was off your back. And it worked, the grocery store trip being filled with stories Seokjin recalled about the farm, and eventually he moved on to stories about Taehyung in their trainee days.

Seokjin was funny. With an easy smile and an easier laugh that you found hard not to share. He was nice with you, and as you were riding the elevator back up to Jimin’s place, you found yourself more at ease. Still, you didn’t really know how to act around Taehyung, but you were pretty sure it didn’t really matter.

Some couples didn’t do a lot of public displays of affection, but that didn’t mean they weren’t dating, right?

Walking in Jimin’s apartment put you back to square one, as you saw most of the other members sprawled on the couches. Three girls were sitting with the members, and you could hear two women’s voices coming from what you could only assume was the kitchen, along with the unmistakable voice of Jeon Jungkook.

Most of all, every pair of eyes had turned to you, and you were pretty sure none of them were looking at Taehyung or Seokjin. No, it really felt as if you were the center of attention, and you hated it.

Until Taehyung stood closer to you, his large hand gently taking a hold of yours. He reassuringly brushed the back of your hand with his thumb, and you glanced at him. He had a soft smile on his lips when your gazes locked, but he quickly moved his attention to the group.

“Hey”, he simply said, and conversations immediately resumed, as if silence hadn’t been reigning a moment ago.

Hoseok, Namjoon and Jimin moved to you, hugging you as Taehyung did the introductions. Yoongi waved at you from his spot on the couch, and you waved back, eyes trailing to the girl at his side. She waved you over, and Taehyung tightened his hold on your hand before letting you go.

With cheeks burning, you moved towards the girl. She moved closer to Yoongi, as he wrapped an arm around her shoulder so she could cuddle into his side. You sat in the spot she had left for you, next to another girl that offered you a bright smile as you glanced at her.

“I know this might be overwhelming”, she said secretively. “When Namjoon got me to meet all of them, I almost thought I was going to die from the anxiety.”

You could understand.

“But you fit right in!” Yoongi’s girlfriend happily said. “And I’m sure…” she trailed off and you figured out she was waiting for your name. You offered it to her with a shy voice. She repeated it, before continuing, “I’m sure you’ll fit right in too.”

You could only hope they didn’t notice your discomfort because you were caught in a lie. “Thank you”, you breathed, meeting Taehyung’s gaze from across the room.

At the looks Jimin and Hoseok threw at you, you could only assume they were talking about you. Taehyung offered you a reassuring nod of his head, along with a small smile he reserved just for you. Then Namjoon said something, and Taehyung looked away, forcing you to go back to the conversation around you.

The girls offered an easy conversation, one Yoongi participated in with ease. That most of all brought you back to the ease Seokjin had raised in you, and you even found yourself enjoying their company. Hoseok’s girlfriend was just as nice, though she didn’t stay long, claiming she had to help Jimin’s girlfriend, Jungkook and his own girlfriend in the kitchen. Seokjin followed her, which left you with the rest of them.

Soon enough, Taehyung, Jimin, Hoseok and Namjoon moved back with you, and conversation flowed easily in the group. Surprisingly enough, no one really asked you any questions about you and Taehyung. They all just joked around, and shots of soju were passed around the group.

Min Yoongi surprised you the most out of all of the members. For some reason, you had expected him to be shy and cold, but he was all smiles and excited, participating in the conversation with everyone, even leading it sometimes. He was cute, and his girlfriend looked at him with soft eyes that made you jealous, in some way.

Because even though you were looking at Taehyung like that, it was an act. It couldn’t be more than pretending. Indeed, he really had just asked for it to be for one dinner. Nothing more.

You could hope, though. Because he acted around you with ease. Holding you close, kissing the top of your head or holding your hand whenever he could. When he pulled you up to your feet as you were moving to the dining room, he even kissed you in front of everyone, holding you by the waist with his large hands. When he pulled away, you found yourself unable to hold his gaze, instead busying yourself with pulling invisible lint off his cardigan.

It didn’t go unnoticed to him. The way you avoided his gaze. You knew because his hands tightened on your waist, as if he could bring you back to your senses. But your heart was aching in your chest, as it had been throughout the day, whenever you remembered that it was all fake.

“Are you okay?” he asked, voice low just for you to hear.

The living room had emptied a moment ago, and you felt comfortable to speak up. “I can’t do this, Tae…”

He pursed his lips. “You’ve been doing great.”

“But I hate lying.” You looked up once, before quickly shying away from his gaze again. “They all look so happy for you.”

“Which means it’s working”, he pointed out.

A question took shape in your mind, and you shut your eyes tightly trying to avoid saying it.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, and he sounded a little exasperated.

“Why do you want this to be fake?” you enquired, and courage made its way to you, enough so that you met his gaze with a harsh look on your face. “I’ve been thinking about it all day and I don’t understand why you want to pretend.”

You wondered if he would answer truthfully. If he would finally let you see some part of the mystery that clouded him. Instead, he scoffed, looking over his shoulder.

“We can talk about it later.”

“Don’t dismiss me like that”, you said through gritted teeth.

“Y/n, Taehyung-oppa!” a female voice said from the hallway.

You tried to loosen the expression on your features as Jungkook’s girlfriend came into view. You didn’t know if you succeeded, but Taehyung’s cheerful tone as he told her you were on your way worked well enough, and the tattoo artist turned back on her heels.

“Now, let’s just pretend for a little longer and then we can talk”, Taehyung said to you, letting go of your waist.

“Please stop being so…” you trailed off, motioning between the two of you.

“So what?”

You met his gaze, letting out a long sigh. “Stop acting as if you’re in love.” And really, he wasn’t even acting all that different from what he usually acted like with you. It was pretty much the same, and that most of all was killing you. Because then it meant that the way he had carried himself in all those secret meetings meant nothing, even though you had been telling yourself the opposite for so long.

“How else can they believe me?”

“I don’t know, Tae, but I really don’t like it.”

He scoffed. “You’ve been a blushing and smiling mess, don’t tell me you don’t like it.”

“That’s exactly my point, Tae.”

You didn’t wait for him to say something else, instead moving around him to make your way to the dining room. You didn’t want to lose your cool, and you knew damn well a moment longer in that living room would have led to you bashing Taehyung’s perfect teeth in.

He was oblivious. Or you were just a game for him to play.

A game he had become a master at.

*****

                 Later that evening, you found yourself lingering at Jimin’s place, along with Jungkook and his girlfriend. Seokjin had left first – it was easy to know why. He was the only one that was unaccompanied, and that same sad look you had seen on his features in the elevator had come back frequently, as the evening had unfolded.

Whoever Kim Seokjin was longing for, they had broken his heart to pieces.

Namjoon, Hoseok, Yoongi and their partners had all left since they had early plans the next morning. Unfortunately for you, you were off from work tomorrow too, and didn’t have any excuse to give everyone as to why you needed to leave. So you stayed, even if the atmosphere between you and Taehyung had turned cold after your conversation in the living room.

He had continued his act after, even though you had asked him not to. You were aware you probably looked like an angry girlfriend, so you had tried to relax. Had let him do what he thought he had to, but focused on the conversation with the other girls. Mostly Jungkook’s partner, as she had been the one sitting next to you.

The tattoo artist had bright eyes. They shone brighter whenever Jungkook was close to her, and sometimes you thought you saw stars in her eyes. Mostly, the celestial bodies were visible when she was gazing at the man she loved, and he echoed them with galaxies in his own gaze.

Another reminder to you that for all the feelings you had for Taehyung, you would never be allowed to look at him that same way. Because you were aware that the hurt and the anger were coming from feelings. Affection you had been trying to push back to the very back of your mind, but that had refused to be forgotten all throughout the day. It was easy to ignore it when it was just you and Taehyung but pretending around other people was wrong.

And a mistake through and through.

You were glad when Taehyung let you out of his sight, after most of everyone had left. Jimin’s girlfriend had to go back home to call her mother on Facetime, and the boys were currently in the living room, joking around as long-time friends usually did. That left you alone in the kitchen with Jungkook’s girlfriend, and she sat on one of the high stools at the island as you washed the dishes.

Taehyung had done most of it earlier, but the dessert dish had been forgotten on the stove, so you decided to busy yourself by taking care of it. Mostly because Jungkook’s girlfriend had been looking at you curiously, as if she knew the secrets you had been keeping.

“Something happened between you and Taehyung-oppa?” she asked.

You startled, glancing at her before shrugging your shoulders. “Happens sometimes, doesn’t it?”

She pursed your lips, before slowly nodding. “Yeah.”

An awkward silence moved between you, as you focused back on the dish.

“I…” she started, but she never finished the sentence.

You looked at her again, this time catching her gaze.

“We didn’t really fight”, you admitted.

The truth had come out so easily your eyes widened.

“I know.” She did. You could tell by the way a careful look moved on her features. “Taehyung told Jungkook.”

You sighed, gaze dropping to the floor. You grabbed a towel to dry your hands, before leaning against the counter, folding your arms on your chest. “What did he say?”

“That he was tired of being laughed at.” The girl looked away from you, as if she felt bad to be the one telling you. “He and Sanghee had a really complicated story, and the boys have been trying to get him to move on from her.”

You had no idea who Sanghee was. Some part of you thought to ask Eunjin, but you knew that wasn’t even a possibility. The only person you could ask was Taehyung, and you weren’t convinced you even wanted to speak to him right now.

“By laughing at him?” you asked.

Jungkook’s girlfriend chuckled. “Not really, no. Mostly, they kept telling him to put himself out there. To go out with the girls that ask him out and stuff like that. He kept refusing saying he didn’t need it, then said he was dating someone earlier today. Then he brought you here.”

You didn’t really know if Taehyung had told Jungkook you weren’t really dating. So you chose to remain silent, as Jungkook’s girlfriend looked down at her glass on the island in front of her.

“I think I’m only telling you because Jungkook and I had a similar situation”, she continued. She then seemed to think better of it, meeting your gaze. “Well, it wasn’t all that similar. But Jungkook’s ex almost came between the two of us…” She shrugged, pursing her lips. “But I think you should tell Taehyung how you feel.”

“We’re dating”, you lied.

Jungkook’s girlfriend cocked an eyebrow prettily, letting out a small laugh. “You are not.”

You almost wanted to be angry at her for pointing it out, but she offered you a kind smile that only made tears prick at your eyes. You turned away from her, resuming your work on cleaning the dishes.

“But you could be if you actually talked to him”, she added. “I have a hard time believing that everything he’s done today is an act.”

You found it hard to believe too, yet you knew it was the truth. Because you could feel that Taehyung had changed after your fight in the living room. Even if he still was clingy, he was cold.              

Kim Taehyung had never been cold to you before. No, ever since that night you had told him what you had, under the star-filled blanket of the night sky, Taehyung had always been warm when it came to you.

You were pretty sure it was coming to an end now.

“Taehyung is an enigma”, you pointed out. “He’s been that way since we were kids.”

Nothing interrupted the silence in the kitchen for a moment, except the sound of the water sloshing as you washed the dish through tears in your eyes. Jungkook’s girlfriend remained silent, so much so you almost thought she had left. But she seemed like the kind of girl that would stick up for someone else, and you were pretty sure she wouldn’t leave you alone right now.

It seemed you had judged her character well, because a second later she appeared at the corner of your vision. You glanced at her, and she offered you a gentle smile. “Jimin said he was going to take care of washing that.” She put a hand on your wrist, until you had let go and she could dry your hands with the hand towel. “Just talk to him”, she said gently. “It’s surprising what a good conversation can do.”

You raised your eyebrows, slightly shaking your head. “I think I dug the grave a while ago.”

“Why do you think that?” she asked as she put the towel back on the oven’s handle before looking at you again.

“He’s my best friend’s older brother”, you admitted. “I’ve known him forever.”

Jungkook’s girlfriend nodded, but didn’t say anything, letting you choose the rhythm at which you wanted to confide in her.

“Eunjin had a party in October, and it was my first time seeing Taehyung in years.” Images of the night came back to you: the beer pong, Taehyung holding your hand, the stars outside. How you had woken up in his bed the next day. “A few weeks later, he came to pick me up after I drank a little, we kissed and then we started…” you trailed off, as your cheeks burned red. “He’s my first. I don’t know why I chose him. Maybe because I used to have a crush on him, but…” You ran a shaky hand through your hair. “But he asked me to hide the whole thing from everyone. I did because I thought what we had was enough. But when he asked me to pretend to be his girlfriend tonight, it just felt wrong. It’s been feeling wrong.”

You finally fell silent, and Jungkook’s girlfriend waited a few seconds to make sure you were done before speaking, “This has been going on since October?”

“Well, more since November”, you said, nodding your head. “Why?”

She didn’t have time to speak before Taehyung appeared in the hallway leading to the living room.

“Hey”, he said, leaning against the wall.

Jungkook’s girlfriend kept her eyes on you, as if trying to tell you something. You couldn’t read the words behind her gaze though, and you eventually had to turn towards Taehyung.

“Hey”, you let out.

Jungkook’s girlfriend was pulling at some dry skin on her lower lip when she looked at Taehyung too. “Oppa.”

“Everything okay?” he asked, eyes focused on you.

It felt as if he was dismissing Jungkook’s girlfriend, and something about the way she stiffened next to you made you wonder what she had been about to tell you. What revelation her next sentence would have held had she had the time to tell you.

Instead, she only gently patted your shoulder, before walking away.

“Don’t hurt her”, she told Taehyung, one fist on her hip and a finger pointed at him aggressively.

Taehyung widened his gaze, but she was gone before he had time to reply.

“What’s wrong with her?” Taehyung asked as she disappeared. He pushed himself up from the wall, before taking a few steps towards you.

You shrugged. “I like her.”

“I usually like her, but she was weird tonight.”

Was she the only one that had been weird? Everything about the evening felt weird and wrong to you.

“Mmh”, you let out, turning away from Taehyung as he stopped next to you.

He murmured your name, hand shooting in the space between you… but he never touched you, letting his arm fall back at his side. “Do you want to go home?”

You nodded, avoiding his gaze. “Yeah, I think it would be better.” You sighed, folding your arms on your chest again.

Taehyung leaned on the counter next to you, hands disappearing in his pockets. He watched you carefully, with that deep gaze of his. You couldn’t resist glancing at him, and your heart stopped in your chest at the look on his features.

He had no business looking at you like that when you were alone.

“I shouldn’t have asked this of you”, he said, voice barely above a whisper.

You gulped, immediately looking away. “It’s whatever, Tae.”

“I’m sorry I was an ass earlier”, he continued, ignoring your words.

It brought you back to the night of his birthday, when he had said he’d never be an ass when it came to you. Had he only said that to ensnare you further?

You had never thought Taehyung would be the kind of man to make promises he couldn’t hold.

“You weren’t an ass”, you said, shrugging your shoulders. “You asked me something and I said yes. I’m the stupid one that let it get to my head.”

“But this didn’t start today, did it?”

“Can we talk about this at home?”

You met his gaze, holding it until Taehyung finally gave in, nodding his head. “Alright.”

You said goodbye to Jungkook and his girlfriend, in the living room, before moving towards the door. They walked you to the door, telling you that Jimin had gone to his girlfriend’s place across the hall, and that they’d say you had to go. Jungkook’s girlfriend hugged you before you left, whispering encouragement in your ear. You exchanged phone numbers, even as Taehyung seemed a little weary next to you, and soon enough you were on the way.

The elevator ride down to the underground parking lot was spent in a tense silence. So was the car ride, and you pulled at dry skin on your bottom lip so much you could almost taste the metallic tang of blood on your tongue.

It was only when you were standing in Taehyung’s hall that you finally turned towards him.

“Can I ask you a question?”

He tilted his head to the side, mouth parted just a little. Just enough for his tongue to dart out and wet his lips. “Yeah?”

“Who’s Sanghee?”

He immediately froze. One hand in one of his pockets, the other holding the sweater he had brought back from Jimin’s place – he had apparently forgotten it there last time he had gone.

“I knew Jungkook’s girlfriend was up to no good…”

He walked away from you, and you followed him to the living room. Surprisingly enough, Yeontan hadn’t woken up when you had walked in, and the dog blinked tiredly at Taehyung, getting up from the spot it had been sleeping in on the couch. Taehyung threw the sweater next to his dog before he picked him up, hugging him tight to his chest as he pressed a kiss to the top of the dog’s head.

“You know”, you said as he avoided your gaze, “you don’t have to talk to me about her if you don’t want to.” You looked around, surprisingly finding yourself memorizing Taehyung’s living room. “I just think it’s time we talk about what’s going on between us.”

He slowly nodded, and the motion caught your attention. “I realized earlier…” He chuckled, almost bitterly. “I hadn’t realized you were into me like that.”

You hadn’t really either. The way he said it sounded like an accusation, and you furrowed your brows. “It’s not really like I could control it. It just was too real.”

His lips were stretched in a thin line when you looked at him. “I didn’t realize…”

“So tonight was all pretend, right?” You waited till he nodded before you continued. “But what about all the times we hung out before? Was that all a lie too?”

“Why are you talking in the past tense?”

It was the first time he showed concern about whatever was between you. As if he was only now realizing that it was coming to an end.

“Because I can’t keep going on like this”, you admitted.

He sat down on the couch, and his eyes fell to Yeontan in his arms. The small dog was looking at you, tongue on the side of his mouth, head cocked to the side. You wanted to get closer and snuggle him, but for the first time in months, you didn’t want to get closer to Kim Taehyung.

“Understood”, he said, nodding curtly.

“That’s all you’re going to say?”

He focused on Yeontan on his lap, hiding his features behind his hair. “I don’t know what to tell you. You asked me to teach you about…” he trailed off, as if he didn’t want to say the words. “We never talked about feelings.”

Tears were pricking at your eyes. “So it’s just me?”

He didn’t say anything. Only pet Yeontan as the dog watched you carefully. You wondered if he could hear your heart breaking in your chest. Slowly at first, and all at once when Taehyung met your gaze.

His eyes held finality. Like the last line of your favourite song.

“What did Jungkook’s girlfriend say about Sanghee?” he asked.

You thought your blood had turned cold in your veins, and you felt an icy sheen of sweat forming on every inch of your body. “Just her name.”

Taehyung didn’t speak for a time. “She’s an ex”, he admitted. He put Yeontan beside him, and the dog made itself at home right next to him. “We dated for a few months, but…”

You clenched your teeth, waiting for what was to come next.

“When we broke up we kept seeing each other”, he continued. “Purely physical. That’s why the guys wanted me to meet someone else.” He pinched the bridge of his nose, but somehow these were the last words he spoke for a long time.

So long you figured he wasn’t going to say anything else.

“When did you stop seeing her?” you asked, with a wavering voice that made you feel weak.

You thought you already knew, but you wanted to hear it from him. Needed to hear it from him, no matter how much it might hurt.

“It…” he trailed off. “We haven’t really stopped seeing each other.”

You had been a fool to think your heart had broken earlier. Because now it was falling, heading straight to hell, and it tore your chest open. Bled you dry, as your lungs burned. Oxygen made it worse, feeding the fire until every inch of you was burning with heartbreak.

All Taehyung did was look at you. Look at you with the stupid dark gaze that had made you fall for him all those years ago, and once again these few months ago. He looked apologetic, sorry, as if he was a child that had been caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to.

Worse, he looked like someone that had been caught cheating. But it wasn’t really cheating, was it? You hadn’t been dating. Had only been seeing each other for sex. Yes, Taehyung was a respectful man, and had never forced you to do anything if you didn’t feel like it. But you had imagined it to be more, to be him caring for you the same way you cared for him.

You had been delusional to think Kim Taehyung would care about someone else than himself.

After a little eternity, of unsaid words and unrequited feelings, you chose to go. To let him go, and to do what was the good thing for you. Preservation, maybe, even if every single part of you wanted to cross the distance between you and lose yourself in him again. Because maybe then you wouldn’t be hurting so much. Maybe then you could pretend the last few hours had never happened. Had only been a product of your imagination, a nightmare brought to life.

But nightmares were real, and it was time your feet found ground again. Ground and reality, where you could go back to living your life without the sins Kim Taehyung brought to it.

So, you looked away from him and you turned around, making your way towards the door.

“Wait, Y/n”, he said.

You didn’t stop, but he was quicker than you. Maybe because you were weak, and you didn’t really have the strength to walk away. Maybe because you cared too much, and it was slowing you down. He grabbed your wrist, turning you around and pulling you into his arms.

“I don’t want you to leave crying”, he said, wrapping his arms around your shaking frame.

Because you were crying now, sobbing with your face hidden in his chest. He gently ran a soothing hand on your back. And you wanted to curse him for it, to push him away until his heart broke too. He didn’t get to be the one to comfort you. Yet you couldn’t pull away, wanting to enjoy these last moments in the warmth of his arms.

“I really didn’t realize you cared for me like that”, he said softly. “I’m so sorry.”

It made you understand one thing: Taehyung didn’t feel for you the way you felt for him. You had been stupid to think everything would be alright. He had always been meant to break your heart.

Maybe he should have stayed a ghost in your life after all.

“You…” Taehyung started, but his voice caught in his throat.

“What the fuck is going on?”

You startled out of Taehyung’s arms, for what seemed like the hundredth time today. As if you had never been meant to be in his arms in the end. Now you knew that was true. You quickly wiped your cheeks dry, and almost wished you hadn’t when your vision cleared up.

Cleared up to reveal a red-faced Eunjin, with a plastic bag seemingly holding containers.

“What the fuck is going on?” she repeated.

“Why did you just come in like that at this time of the night?” Taehyung asked in the same reproachful tone your best friend had used.

Her eyes moved between you and her brother a couple of times before they settled on you. “Y/n, please tell me this is not what I think it is.”

“Eunjin”, Taehyung said with a stern voice. “It’s none of your business.”

“Something’s going on between the two of you and you didn’t think to tell me?” Eunjin’s voice had gone a little higher.

“What are you doing here?” Taehyung asked again.

She slowly shook her head, before putting down the bag she was holding. “Eoma asked me to bring you some side dishes and I didn’t have space in my fridge so I thought I’d drop it off.”

“You can’t just come unannounced.”

“You can’t just fuck my best friend.”

“Eunjin!” you burst out. “Whatever was between us is over.” It made Taehyung tense next to you, but he knew it just as well as you did. Wasn’t it what he wanted?

Eunjin only then realized the tears you had failed at drying. Or maybe your eyes had gone bloodshot, as they tended to do whenever you cried. “Y/n…”

“And now I’m going to go home”, you added and you continued moving towards the door.

Eunjin quickly fell into step with you. “I’m going to kill him.” She let out a bitter chuckle. “Oh he is fucking dead.” This time she scoffed. “I can’t believe he would hurt you.”

“What makes you think he hurt me?” you said as you stopped at the door to put your shoes on.

“I know my brother”, she said, rolling her eyes. “It’s the only thing he knows how to do.”

You were almost offended by what she implied. You looked behind, hoping Taehyung would be there to defend himself, but he hadn’t followed you. It hurt and burned, and you wished you could go back to pick up the pieces of your broken heart. But you couldn’t. Especially not now that Eunjin was next to you.

“The only thing he cares about is himself”, Eunjin continued, and you hated that you had yourself thought so just a moment ago. “He uses people and drops them when he doesn’t need them anymore.”

The look you threw her finally made her shut up. She offered you an apologetic smile, but you ignored it as you stepped out.

“Let me drive you home”, Eunjin gently said once you were outside.

You nodded, fighting the tears that were threatening to fall again. Eunjin noticed, and she grabbed your hand reassuringly.

“I can’t believe I lied to you all this time”, you said, brushing the tears that had spilled on your cheek.

Knowing Eunjin and the grudges she could hold, you could only hope she wouldn’t hold this one. “You know what? I suspected it. During the Holidays. But I wanted you to tell me yourself and then I just thought it was all in my head.”

You chuckled sadly. “Wasn’t in your head.”

“Unfortunately”, she grumbled, looking behind her. “But let’s not talk about it tonight.”

“Aren’t you working tomorrow?” you asked with a small voice.

She shook her head no. “This is an emergency, work can wait.”

This time, you really couldn’t stop the tears that rolled on your cheeks.

“Oh Y/n”, she said, pulling you in her embrace. “I’m so sorry.”

You were tired of Kim siblings apologizing today, but Eunjin’s arms felt a lot more reassuring than Taehyung’s had felt just a moment ago. Strangely enough, just like a moment ago, this hug was interrupted by a Kim sibling, one you really didn’t want to see at the moment.

“Y/n”, Taehyung called from the door to his building.

Eunjin turned on her heels so quickly it almost made you fall. “You go back inside”, she said, motioning to the building. “You don’t get to hurt her and then pretend nothing happened.”

“Eunjin”, Taehyung said carefully. “I just want to talk.”

“Not today, oppa.”

She had her fists on her hips, standing her ground in front of her older brother. It was all for you, and it made a small laugh fall from your lips.

The two siblings threw you a surprised look, and when you met Taehyung’s gaze your heart constricted in your chest, reminding you of the reality of heartbreak.

“What do you want, Tae?”

You had barely spoken over a whisper, but you could see him gulp in the distance. “I just want to talk”, he repeated. “Just to explain myself.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re important to me”, he said. “I can’t just let you go like that.”

“Maybe you should have decided that before breaking her heart, asshole”, Eunjin grumbled.

“Eunjin”, you said in the same scolding tone she had just used.

She rolled her eyes, folding her arms on her chest. “Don’t make me angry at you too.”

You slowly nodded, before turning towards Taehyung again. He looked pale. As if all the honey in his skin had drained, leaving only a pale shade behind. A ghost of what you knew he truly looked like. He almost looked as if this was hurting him as much as it was hurting you, and it made you want to hate him.

But you didn’t really have it in you to hate Kim Taehyung. No matter how broken and jagged the pieces of your heart felt.

“Listen, Tae”, you breathed, and you blinked away tears – who knew you were such a crier when it came to men? “I don’t really want to talk right now.”

“But…”

“Not today, Tae”, you said, echoing Eunjin’s previous words. “I’m tired, and I want to go home.”

He ran a hand through his hair, pulling at the strands. It made them stand on his head, and he looked somehow desperate. As if letting you go was taking its toll on him.

A little dirty part of you was satisfied at the thought that he felt bad too.

“Okay”, he let out. He shut his eyes, cocking his head to the side. “Just call me when you want to talk.”

“I will.” It was a promise, more than you wanted to give him. But the part of you that cared for him really hated that he looked hurt. Deeply, just like you were.

Why would he have run after you if he didn’t care?

It was a treacherous thought to have, and there was so much to discuss between the two of you. Feelings you had ignored so well you hadn’t even realized they were there until it was too late. Stuff he had hidden from you, or that you had never thought to ask. That you had never thought you needed to ask. You had thought what you had with him was real, in some way. Had convinced yourself so well, you had never even seen the signs that it might not be.

Was she why he hadn’t sought to see you more often? The question was poison to your bleeding heart, and you pushed it away. You would have plenty of time to think about it tomorrow, or the day after that. For now, you needed to focus on mending the broken pieces of your heart, in Eunjin’s company. Someone you never should have lied to in the first place. After all, maybe she would have been able to save you the broken heart.

But maybes weren’t going to fix the situation, weren’t they?

 *****

                 Heartbreak did a strange thing to the world. It made it seem colourless, as if the colours had leeched from your surroundings the same way the happiness had disappeared. Everything was meek, shining in shades of a morose gray to which melancholy clung. Sleep evaded you most nights, and you spent the darkest hours rethinking the events.

Wondering where it all went wrong. What you did wrong for him to keep seeing her. Were you bad in bed? For all his praise, had he only been lying to you?

All the questions spun in your head relentlessly. You were aware that it was toxic to think about it, but Taehyung was your first heartbreak. You didn’t really know how to act, and exhaustion was clinging to you.

It had been a week since you had left Taehyung’s place. He had watched you leave, and hadn’t Eunjin been by your side you probably would have run back to him. Instead, you had only looked at him while Eunjin had been driving away, and Taehyung’s broken eyes had made you burst out crying again.

You were glad for Eunjin. She had been picking up your pieces, slowly but surely. Spending as much time with you as she could. It made you feel weak, but this was your first broken heart. You didn’t really know how to heal it, and having your best friend by your side helped.

Especially since you didn’t have to lie to her anymore. You could tell she was disappointed, that you had kept everything silent, but still she was by your side, never pushing you to talk.

She hadn’t really needed to anyway. You had told her everything the next day, even if some parts had clearly made her uncomfortable considering Taehyung was her older brother. Even through all the wincing, she had held your hand, and when you had cried, she had dried your tears. Somehow, you hadn’t been able to talk about Sanghee though. The subject hurt too much, and you had chosen to wait. It wasn’t like it mattered anyway.

You were currently lying in bed. Eunjin was next to you, scrolling on her phone. Your own cell phone had been foreign to you since last week. Mostly because Taehyung had texted you the next day to ask when you wanted to talk. Eunjin had been the one to tell him you needed more time, and ever since then your phone had been silent.

The silence was like a colourless world. Morose, melancholic, and it made everything ache a little more. Because there were reminders of Taehyung everywhere, in this world. The perks of getting your heart broken by someone famous.

You sighed, running a hand on your face.

“Everything okay?” Eunjin quickly asked, concern laced with her voice.

Your hand stalled on your face for a few seconds before you let it slide to the bed as you nodded slightly. “Just feel lonely.”

It wasn’t your first time telling her that. “I’m right here.”

“I know.”

You let out a small bitter chuckle, because she knew just as well as you that the person you wanted to see was Taehyung, and not her. Even if you loved Eunjin deeply, she wasn’t her brother.

“Do you think I should talk to him today?” you asked, turning your head towards her.

She was already looking at you, with a somber expression on her features. “Do you feel ready to talk to him?”

All week you had told her no. But for some reason, your first instinct wasn’t to say no today. It wasn’t like you wanted to wait forever; if Taehyung had something to tell you, you wanted to hear it now. Not when talking to him would reopen the wounds.

You needed to truly put him in the past if you wanted to move on from him. A conversation would offer closure, and hopefully then it wouldn’t hurt as bad.

“I don’t think I’ll ever be ready”, you admitted. “I just want to get it over with.”

Eunjin’s features reminded you of Taehyung. The slight pout of her lips, her eyebrows raised just a little over her eyes… she looked a little too much like him.

It made you look away, and your gaze moved back to the ceiling.

“I get it, honestly”, Eunjin said after a few more seconds of silence. “Do you want me to text him to come over?”

“Uh”, you let out, before letting out a small laugh. “While you’re here?”

Eunjin nudged you with an elbow. “As much as I’d like to murder him, I think it’s a conversation you need to have with him alone.”

“Yeah”, you agreed. “That’s what I think too.” You paused, letting out another longing sigh. “I can text him myself though.”

Eunjin sat up, and her heavy gaze on you couldn’t be avoided anymore. “I’ll keep my phone close. If you need me, you call.”

You followed her, sitting up next to her. “I will, I promise.”

She slowly nodded, before glancing at the door of your apartment. As she remained silent, you grabbed your phone from the bedside table. It felt strange in your hands, as if thinking that you were about to text Taehyung was giving you a little life again.

It wasn’t all that much that you missed him. It was more of a relief, knowing that the pain was finally coming to an end. Or to whatever end a conversation with Taehyung could lead to.

You had talked to Jungkook’s girlfriend this week. She had been sweet and had offered to meet up for coffee sometime. You had agreed, and you were set to grab coffee with her next week. It showed you one thing: even if Taehyung might be about to get out of your life, there were still other people, new people that you would meet.

Your phone scanned your features, before opening to your home screen. You sighed, clicking on the text message app. It took everything in you to open the conversation with Taehyung, and you looked up to Eunjin as the conversation appeared on the screen.

“Gosh”, you let out.

She offered you an encouraging smile. “It’s going to be okay”, she reassured you. “Taehyung is an ass, but he’s willing to talk. That’s more than I’ve ever seen him do for someone before.”

You hated the seed of hope that it planted in you, but a foolish, stupid part of you clung to it. You needed hope after all the pain. But you tried to tame the hope, to push it away. Taehyung had been seeing someone else. All that time you had imagined to be special between the two of you, he had had someone else in his life.

You weren’t sure it was something you could ever forgive him for, but you were willing to listen to him. Maybe because you had known him for most of your life, and you owed him as much. Though you weren’t sure he deserved it, after all he had done.

His explanations needed to be good.

“Did he tell you about Sanghee?” you asked her.

You had avoided her mention ever since you had left Taehyung’s place, but you needed to know. Whatever Eunjin might tell you… because some part of you didn’t even believe Taehyung would tell you everything.

“Sanghee? He told you about her?” She looked genuinely surprised.

You shook your head no. “Not really. He just mentioned her because Jungkook’s girlfriend talked to me about her.”

“They were dating last year”, Eunjin said. “Sanghee was just in the picture for his money and fame. Taehyung broke up with her when he realized.”

“Did he tell you that he kept seeing her after that?”

Eunjin’s face was unreadable for a time. “I wouldn’t be surprised.” She looked sorry. Apologetic, at having to tell you that. Because she was your best friend: you knew she wished she could tell you that Taehyung was just rainbows and butterflies. She knew him better than anyone else though, and she wasn’t a liar.

You knew she would never lie to you.

“He told me he did”, you admitted. “That’s mostly why I ended things between us.”

It hadn’t really been the only cause. Because you still were ashamed to say you had fallen in love with him while he had only cared for you for sex. You had already told her enough about your story with Taehyung, and you didn’t want to explore it further with her.

It was something that was yours and his. You didn’t want to share it with his sister too.

“You know what?” Eunjin let out. “For someone that never dated anyone, you really know your worth.”

You furrowed your brows. “I let him string me along for months.”

Eunjin cocked her head to the side, her lips stretched in a white line. “You still ended things with him. The only other person that was able to break up with him was his first girlfriend.”

You remembered her, a little. Just that she had been in the picture. You had never really met her, but you knew losing her had broken Taehyung’s heart. It had been years ago, sometime around when you and Taehyung had stopped talking to you.

“Go me”, you said weakly, and Eunjin let out a small laugh.

“Go you”, she agreed. She threw her arms around you, hugging you tight. You hugged her back, nuzzling your face in her neck. “I still want to kill him for hurting you though.”

“I might kill him myself”, you mumbled.

She laughed again, a clear laugh that did wonders to your broken heart. “You should. Teach him a lesson. It’s time he stops being an asshole.”

You weren’t really sure you would have such an impact on Kim Taehyung. Even if you had known him before he became all that he now was, you were nothing compared to him.

You pushed the insecurity away. You weren’t nothing. You were your own person, and the fact you weren’t a celebrity like him meant nothing. In fact, you were glad for it. You didn’t envy his famous status, and the scrutiny under which he was forced to live his life. Maybe he would have turned out differently, hadn’t it been for all of that.

“Now, tell him to come over”, Eunjin said as she pulled away, still holding you by the shoulders.

You nodded, and you glanced down at your phone. The screen had turned dark, and this time when it scanned your features and opened, it opened right on the conversation with Taehyung. You quickly typed a message, something simple, because you weren’t quite convinced you would still have the courage to invite him over to talk if you wrote more than a sentence.

You watched the message go from sent to delivered, and then you met Eunjin’s gaze again. “Done.”

She smiled at you. “Good. Now I’m going to get a baseball bat in case…”

“Eunjin-ie!” you exclaimed, pushing her away. “You’re the one that told me to invite him over.”

Her smile turned devilish. “I’m just saying I really want to beat some sense into him.”

“I’ll do it myself, I told you”, you grumbled.

Before she replied, Taehyung sent a message back, saying that he was on his way. You worried at your bottom lip, putting your phone away.

“So?”

“He’s on his way”, you told Eunjin.

“Damn, this is not my brother”, she whispered. She shook her head, widening her eyes in surprise before glancing at the door.

“What do you mean?”

She shrugged sheepishly. “He doesn’t act like that with girls. And I really hope he’s not only doing this because you are my friend.”

You could imagine that he would. Family was important to Taehyung, far more than it was to most people nowadays. If talking to you could preserve his relationship with Eunjin, you were pretty sure he would. But Eunjin had been entirely loyal to you, ever since last week. She had told you she had ignored his calls, and that she would until everything was settled between the two of you. And for all her complaining, you knew Eunjin cared about Taehyung just as much as he cared about her.

No matter the outcome of your conversation today, you knew she would still remain just as close to him as she’d always been. You couldn’t blame her for it, he was her older brother after all.

Eunjin left a few minutes later. Hugging you tight to her chest, telling you once again to call or text if you needed to. You reassured her, telling her that you were strong enough to do this yourself, but as you watched her disappear, you fought an unexpected wave of tears. You blinked them away, cursing Taehyung under your breath, before moving to your couch.

Where this whole thing had started in the first place. You sighed deeply, wishing you could go back in time to erase what had happened here all those months ago. But as you waited for Taehyung, you tried to think about something else. About anything that wouldn’t make your mood fall lower than it already was. You didn’t want him to know just how bad you had been doing.

Taehyung arrived a while later. For some reason, you had expected him to get to your place in no time, but it took him almost an hour. When he knocked on your door, you paused the drama you had put on as background noise, taking a deep breath to collect the little courage that you still had.

You got up from the couch, pulling at some dry skin on your bottom lip as you slowly walked to the door. Slowly, because you dreaded the moment you’d open it and you’d be forced to gaze at his handsome features.

Your hand was on the knob when he knocked again, and it made you jump a little. You took another shuddering breath in, and then you turned the doorknob.

The sight of Taehyung wasn’t what you had expected it would be. His hair was ruffled, untamed, and he was plainly dressed in a pair of dark jeans and a white t-shirt. His eyes avoided yours, but you immediately noticed the dark circles that painted them, making him look dreadful.

Taehyung looked just as exhausted as you felt.

A little yelp attracted your attention, and your eyes fell to the floor. Yeontan was looking up at you, and as soon as you noticed him, he ran to you, begging to be picked up.

“Hey you”, you let out, surprised to see him there. You bent down, scratching the dog’s head. Knowing you couldn’t avoid it any longer, you looked up at Taehyung.

He finally met your gaze. “Hey.” His voice was small. Deep, deeper than the ocean, but it sounded empty. Void of the warmth it usually carried.

Whatever remained of your heart in your chest constricted, aching more than you had even expected it could. You had to gulp down a sudden lump in your throat, and you picked Yeontan up to busy yourself. To give yourself an excuse to look away.

“Why did you bring Yeontan?” you asked once you were standing, the leash hanging between you and him.

He shrugged. “I thought you might want to see him.”

You looked at him for a few seconds, before turning towards your apartment. “Come in.”

He followed you in, letting the leash go so he could take off his shoes. You brought Yeontan in, putting him down on the carpet next to your couch.

“Animals aren’t allowed here”, you said, and you dug your hands in the back pockets of your jeans so Taehyung wouldn’t notice they were shaking a little.

He shrugged. “If they complain I’ll buy the building.”

You cocked an eyebrow, tilting your head to the side. “That’s a bit excessive.”

He shrugged again, before walking in. He had put on the slippers you had gotten especially for him. They were BTS slippers, and you had gotten them as a joke in January.

You smiled a little at the memory, but froze as he moved closer to you.

“I don’t care.” He stopped about a meter and a half away from you, and the distance had never felt so wide. “Just a peace offering.”

You pursed your lips, slowly nodding your head. Yeontan barked, and a small smile broke on your mouth as you bent down to pet him again.

You didn’t see it, but Taehyung looked at your smile as if it was an oasis in the middle of the desert.

“You’re lucky I love him”, you said with a tiny voice.

Taehyung stayed silent, and you just played with the dog for a time. Mostly because you wanted to avoid the conversation. As much as you needed to talk to him, or to hear what he wanted to say, you also dreaded the end of whatever it was that you and Taehyung had shared.

But you couldn’t push the moment away for far longer. Soon enough, you had to stand up straight, and face whatever Taehyung had to say.

You schooled your features into neutrality, hoping he wouldn’t see the ache behind your eyes before finally straightening and meeting his gaze.

His dark gaze looked similar to what you were used to, but something was missing. The spark that it had held before was gone. It made Taehyung look infinitely sad. You hated it, and you clenched your jaw.

“Do you want to sit?” he asked.

You hadn’t expected it. You looked at your couch, remembering everything that had ever happened there. You shook the memories away, before sitting. Yeontan jumped on the floor, begging to be put on the couch too. You couldn’t help but laugh a little, before giving in to the dog’s desire. He let out a small bark, as Taehyung sat on the other extremity of the couch.

He had the ghost of a smile on his lips, and you quickly looked away at the sight of it.

You sat in silence for a while. Not knowing where to start, not wanting to be the first one to talk. You wanted him to talk first, to tell you whatever he had run out in the night to tell you the other day. But Taehyung seemed to be struggling to find words to say. You’d let him have all the time he needed before he collected his thoughts.

“How have you been doing?” he asked.

It took you by surprise, to hear him asking that first. You wet your lips, shrugging. “I don’t think you’re here to talk about that, Tae.”

He was looking at the floor, and a glance at him showed you the way his shoulders seemed to fall forward, making him look defeated. And maybe he was, after everything.

“Sorry”, he apologized. “I just… I don’t even know where to start.”

You worried at your bottom lip. “Why don’t you start by telling me what you wanted to say last week?”

He shrugged, and there was another long silence.

“Sanghee means nothing”, he finally said. “She never really did.”

You breathed in and out once, shakily. “But you never stopped seeing her.”

“It was entirely just physical. And it didn’t even happen a lot. She called sometimes and I just went because I was bored. I have and had no interest in her ever, if I’m honest.” He shut his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I called her at the beginning of the week to end things with her. It was stupid that I was still seeing her”, he scoffed. “I hate that I had to hurt you to realize that, but she never even mattered.”

He fell silent, and you just watched his profile for a time. Yeontan had crossed the distance to Taehyung, perhaps sensing that his dad needed him.

“It just feels…” you trailed off. The beginning of the sentence had been accusative, and you took a deep breath to calm down. “It makes me feel like I wasn’t enough. Or not good enough.”

“Trust me”, Taehyung said, finally meeting your gaze. “It has nothing to do with that at all. I just…” He glanced down at your hands. You were wriggling your fingers, anxiously, and he looked so full of hate for himself for a time… It made him look ugly. “I can’t really justify my actions. Because they have no reasons. She asked and I didn’t really care so I went. But…” He paused, wetting his lips, searching your features for a few seconds. “It never felt with her the way it felt with you.”

“What is it supposed to mean?” you asked with a weak voice you wanted to hate yourself for.

He looked down at Yeontan as the little dog struggled to climb on his lap. “That if all the times with her could have been with you, then I would have had them with you.”

Your eyes were sad when he looked at you again. But they held no tears, and you weren’t sure you would be crying more tears for him. You had cried enough.

“You could have had them with me, Tae…”

He shut his eyes, running a hand through his hair. “I know. I realize that now. I just always thought… because of Eunjin I just…”

He was at a loss for words. That much was clear. And you didn’t know what to do to help him.

“Do you want a glass of water?” you asked as he searched for words.

His eyes fell open, and a crease appeared between his brows. “What?”

“Do you want a glass of water?”

He looked at you with an unreadable expression for a time. “Uh yes, please.”

You nodded, getting up from your spot on the couch to walk the short distance to the kitchen. You could feel the weight of Taehyung’s gaze on your back, but you didn’t look back. Instead, you focused on pouring the water from your water filter pitcher in a glass. Once the glass was full and you had no excuse left, you turned around and walked back towards Taehyung.

He looked at a random spot on your wrist as you handed him the glass. He carefully took it, and your fingers touched for a moment. You hated that it made you want to reach out and grab his hand.

He said your name, his voice barely even audible to you. “Thank you.”

You nodded your head, offering him a small smile, before you moved back to your own spot on the couch. You settled yourself comfortably, sitting angled towards Taehyung. He noticed, and he also turned his chest towards you, resting his shoulder against the couch before taking a long sip of water.

“I thought that because of Eunjin, you would never really be interested in me”, he said once he had swallowed. “And I fully understand how stupid that is, I was an oblivious ass. Or maybe it was me and I didn’t want to think about anything more happening between us…” He trailed off, and he let out a little broken chuckle that made every inch of your body ache. “But the day of my birthday. Fuck, I wanted to hate you after. But I couldn’t and I kept coming back.”

“What?” you let out.

He wet his lips, and he searched your features for a couple of seconds. “You know, when I was younger, I always imagined myself getting married. And now, when I look at myself in the future, I see myself with someone like you. Someone that knows me from before, someone that cares for me for the person that I was back then. I think that’s why I was attracted to you in the first place.”

You were stunned for a moment, unexpecting the words that were spilling from his mouth now. And he didn’t seem like he could stop anymore, as if the glass of water had helped him to finally find the words he had been wanting to say earlier.

He shook his head, running a hand through his hair. “Scratch that”, he added. “I don’t see myself with someone like you. I see myself with you. With you by my side, raising my children with me. I think you’re the only one that can understand why I want five children. Because there was the five of us growing up and it was perfect. You’re the only one that I can imagine sharing my life with that way.”

“Tae”, you let out. “You can’t just say all of that.”

It stopped the words falling from his mouth. Yet his lips remained parted, and you could almost hear the echo of his voice in your skull.

He was pale. He had been pale last week, but he looked even worse today. As if he hadn’t seen the sun in a while, and hadn’t eaten well since then either. He looked crestfallen, and all the fight that you had seen in him for the last few minutes drained out of him, leaving but an empty husk of him behind.

“I was falling for you”, you said carefully. “I fell for you once when we were younger, and then all these months… it was like my teenage dreams coming to reality. And it makes me uncomfortable that all along there was someone else…” You pursed your lips, searching for words, a little like he had been a moment ago. “Was there anyone else, other than Sanghee?”

You hadn’t expected the question. Clearly he hadn’t either, because his eyes widened and he shook his head quickly. “Never. Not even once. And you have to trust me, Sanghee means nothing to me. It really was just physical. Maybe I agreed to meet with her because I kept telling myself I couldn’t be with you. Because of Eunjin, and because of who we were to each other.”

Somehow it really didn’t make you feel better. But at the same time… he wanted to be with you. He imagined himself with you in the future, like you had been imagining yourself with him. Even if you refused to admit it to yourself, you had chosen Taehyung because, to you, there was never going to be someone else than him. It had been him once, and it would always be him.

You were weak for Kim Taehyung. Had been before you had even known what it meant.

“Where does that put us though?” you questioned. “You were acting weird with me, Tae. All these months. I never could have imagined there was someone else.”

“I know.” The look of defeat on him only worsened. “I can’t show you how I was with her because I’d never treat you like that.” He scoffed. “You could talk to Jungkook. I think it’s the first time in my life he actually was angry at me. But his girlfriend… She really likes you. She told me I was a disgusting prick and that I didn’t deserve you. She said I was stringing you along…” There was silver lining his gaze now. “I never meant to string you along. I didn’t realize that I was stringing you along until I understood how oblivious I’ve been.”

You would need to tell the girl you loved her. As soon as you could. Because having her stick up for you meant more than you could ever say.

“I wasn’t all that better”, you said.

It was true. You also had avoided talking to him about how you felt. Had avoided even thinking about it as much as you could. Funnily enough, it had never been about Eunjin to you. But you could understand why it had been that way to him. Eunjin was his little sister, someone he had taken care of. He would have never done anything that could put a wedge in his relationship with her.

Except he had, and that thing was you.

“I didn’t talk to you either”, you said. “I mean.” You let out a small anxious laugh. “I didn’t want to talk to you about how I felt, because I refused to even admit it to myself. But at Jimin’s dinner, I just couldn’t ignore it anymore. The more you showed me affection, the more I felt myself sinking.”

You fell silent and he just observed you for a time, with that deep dark gaze of his.

“I can’t really blame you”, he finally said. “Yes, I could see that we both have faults in this. But…” He slowly shook his head again. “Princess, I was using you.”

“Were you?” you enquired, and your heart beat quicker in your chest. “Were you using me, Tae?”

There really were tears in his eyes. It made his gaze dim, with sadness and melancholy. “No. I wanted to see you. If I used someone, it was Sanghee. Never you. I actually enjoyed spending time with you. You remind me of a simpler time.” He wet his lips. “I really like the time we spent together.”

“I liked it too.” You could admit that.

He held your gaze. “I am so sorry.”

He truly looked sorry. In all truth, he looked like a beaten puppy. Even with Yeontan cuddling by his side, Taehyung looked like a little lost boy. He was clutching the glass of water – he had only drunk a couple of sips, and the glass was still half full. You wanted to reach between you, to run a hand through his hair soothingly…

“What for?” you asked.

He laughed bitterly. “For everything. I was everything I don’t like about me with you. And I regret it.”

Could you forgive him? You really wanted to. You wanted to forget everything had happened, but you didn’t think you had it in you.

You still were aching, imagining him in the arms of someone else.

The silence stretched between you. You didn’t know what to say, and clearly he had told you everything. He sighed, and it left his nose shakily, as if he was on the verge of breaking. Yet you could tell he already had broken, much like you had.

It was surprising to think that you had broken Kim Taehyung too. Or maybe he had done that all by myself, breaking his heart as he tore yours from your chest.

“It’s okay”, you let out. “Thank you for telling me.”

There was a dismissal in your words. He heard it just as clear as you did. He ran a shaky hand on Yeontan, who let out a small sad sound.

“Thank you for listening.” He shut his eyes once more, the perfect picture of the fallen angel. You had thought him to be a devil once. You now knew that devils ached too. Had fallen just like everyone else. “You know”, he said, and his deep voice sounded oh so tired. “Watching you walk away the other day… it felt like I was dying. It made me realize that I care for you far more than I wanted to admit it to myself. And I’m aware that I took you for granted. I won’t ask you to be mine, because it feels unfair after what happened. I just…”

He trailed off, and his gaze met yours again. He wanted you to read the words in his eyes, but you needed to hear them.

“You just what?”

“I just want you to know that, wherever you go in this world, I will always be loving you.”

A tear slipped on your cheek, free falling, the same way you were free falling. Heading straight to the ground, yet…

Yet you didn’t reach it this time.

“Tae…”

“I’m crazy for you.” He said it like he had a hard time believing it himself. “I really am. I’m sorry I fucked everything up.”

You let his words sink in for a time. It wasn’t his first time telling you he was crazy for you. He had said so, on his birthday, when he had come to talk to you in his father’s office. You hadn’t thought his words had meant more than his sexual attraction to you. But you saw it in his eyes now. You saw the way they shone in the light. With emotion and intensity and regret. So much regret.

“Tae”, you repeated. “Do you…” You searched for the right words for a time. “Do you really think all of that?”

“Yes”, he said without a beat of silence. “It took me losing you to realize it. But yes, you matter to me. A hell of a lot.”

You tilted your head to the side. “You like me?”

He looked infinitely confused, with a crease between his perfect eyebrows, and a strand of hair falling in his eyes. “I just told you I’m in love with you?”

“Say it again.”

He understood. Quite at the same time as you did.

You weren’t going to let him go. You couldn’t let him go.

“Y/n…”

“Say it again.”

“I love you, princess”, he said, and he let out a small chuckle. A tear escaped the jail of his eyelids, rolling on his cheek until it fell on Yeontan’s head.

You folded your arms on your chest, then thought better of it and you hid your face in your hands, as a small broken sob shook your frame.

“No”, Taehyung let out.

It took a few seconds, but then he was taking you in his arms, crushing you against his chest. You laughed, sadly, as tears just cascaded on your cheeks. Taehyung was shaking, as if he was cold, and you let go of your face, only to bury it in his neck. You wrapped your arms around his waist, and one of his hands found its way to your hair. He massaged your scalp gently and you let him hold you. Let him comfort you. Because you wanted Taehyung to comfort you. You wanted to be with him.

But he couldn’t be with someone else at the same time.

“Tae”, you said against his neck.

He held you tighter. “Princess…”

“You can’t see someone else.”

He let out a small broken sound. “As if I’d ever want someone else than you, fuck.”

It was your turn to hold him tighter. Until Yeontan barked, and the two of you started laughing. You pulled away, trying to reach for the dog. But Taehyung was holding your shoulders, and a second later his hands moved to your cheeks. He dried your tears, and then pulled you in.

You let out a small, surprised sound as his lips found yours. But they were just as soft as you remembered, and you immediately melted into his touch. You kissed him back, with all the hurt that you had been carrying over the last week. Until Yeontan barked again, demanding attention.

“Wait, wait”, Taehyung said, pulling away from you. “Yeontan.” He used a firm authoritative voice, yet it only seemed to make his dog go crazy even more. Taehyung let out a long sigh and was about to turn towards his dog when you ran a hand through his untamed hair.

“You look like shit”, you said, and new tears rolled on your cheeks.

His eyes widened in fake offence. “Excuse me?”

“You haven’t slept and your hair is all a mess”, you tried to explain. “I’m so sorry I made you wait for a week.”

“Hey hey hey”, he said with a soothing voice, grabbing your wrists as you were once again going to run your hands through his hair in a hopeless attempt to tame the wild strands. “I would have waited for a lot longer if it was what you would have needed. It’s okay.”

Yeontan barked again.

“Let me just…” he trailed off, letting go of your wrists so he could grab his dog. “What’s wrong?”

Yeontan just looked at him with an innocent look on his face.

“I think he’s jealous.”

“Well, let me put him in your bathroom real quick”, Taehyung said with his classic small pout.

You loved when he looked at you like that. You watched him get up and move to the bathroom, while he murmured soothing words to his dog. Yeontan let out a single bark when Taehyung closed the door behind him, but then he fell silent.

You were thankful for it, because the look on Taehyung’s face had entirely changed once he settled his gaze on you again. You gulped as he walked back towards you.

He was yours. Kim Taehyung was yours. And it was true. The part he had mentioned about children. You understood why he wanted five kids. You wanted five of them yourself, just to offer them the childhood that you had yourself lived. You hadn’t told him earlier, but the urge to do so now was stronger than you.

“Tae”, you said as he sat back next to you.

“Mmh?”

You turned, facing him with your whole body. “I want to have children with you too. You’re the only person I could imagine a future like that with. I think that’s why I asked you, when I was drunk at Eunjin’s party.”

A small smirk had moved on his lips, and it gave colour to his cheeks again. To the whole world around him too, and your heart rate increased in your chest.

“Well then we better get started, mmh?”

Your mouth fell open. “Now?”

He shrugged, before leaning down to peck your lips. “Whenever you want, princess.”

“I’m on the pill so it can’t be right now. And I have my job so we would need to plan a little more but…”

Taehyung crashed his lips on yours, interrupting your rambling and you kissed him back, grabbing his cheeks to hold him close. He kissed you hungrily, passionately, with that same fire you had gotten used to with him. Only this time, the fire didn’t burn. It was like the fire a hearth held in the winter. It was welcoming, warm and made a home a home.

Taehyung was your home. He always had been.

Your tongue swiped at his bottom lip, asking for more, and soon enough he met it with his own. You sighed in his mouth, climbing on his lap as he pulled you, holding your waist firmly. As if he was afraid you’d go.

You wouldn’t be stupid enough to go again.

You moved from his mouth to his neck, pressing open-mouthed kisses on the warm skin. Wet kisses, and you sucked on his skin as you moved lower, where the collar of his shirt hid the rest of his body from you.

“Princess…” he breathed, and it almost sounded like a moan.

You sucked on the skin again, before moving up to his lips. Capturing them in another wild kiss, as Taehyung’s hands slid from your waist to your ass.

“Do you know how much I love it when you call me ‘princess’?” you asked him as you pulled away.

He was looking at you through half-lidded eyes, and you could see the lust burning in his gaze. A fire that was about to consume the two of you.

You had stopped caring when he had told you he loved you.

“I know”, he said, and a smirk moved on his glossy lips. “I know what my princess likes.”

You bit your tongue to refrain from moaning. Because he had grinded up as he had said the words, and the prominent bulge in his pants brushed against your clit.

“Tae…”

There was a moment where you just stared at each other. Gazed at each other, with longing and lust and love. Because there was love between the two of you, even if you had tried to ignore it for all those months.

“Y/n…”

You pecked his lips once, and the hands that had been holding you up on his shoulders slid down his frame, until you reached the hem of his shirt. With no hesitation, you pulled it up his torso, and Taehyung pushed up from the couch so he could help you get the shirt off. Once his honey skin was free from the fabric, you ran your hands down his frame again, enjoying the hard planes of his perfect body. He watched you as you did so, his large hands having found your ass once more.

He squeezed your ass as your fingers glided over his ribs. “That tickles.”

You let out a small feminine laugh. The laugh only he had been able to bring out of you. “Sorry.”

You dove in once again, kissing him slow and deep, with your tongues meeting halfway. You sucked on his, and he grunted in your mouth, before letting his hands wander up and under your shirt. He pulled it up your frame, and you pulled away just long enough for him to take it off you before crashing your lips on his again.

His skilled fingers reached to your back untying your bra, but before he had been able to pull the fabric off your body, your phone rang.

You both turned your head to the device. It was face down on your bed, where you had left it earlier as you had been waiting for Taehyung.

“Do you want to get that?” he asked, right as he took off your bra.

You hesitated a few seconds, before getting up. “It’s probably your sister checking up on me.”

You crossed the distance to your bed, climbing the small flight of stairs that led to it. You sat on the mattress, letting out a small laugh as your eyes fell to your naked breasts. Your nipples were perked up, and you didn’t need to look at Taehyung to know what he was looking at.

You grabbed your phone, turning it at the same time as it stopped ringing. It was a missed call from Eunjin. A slight blush crept on your cheeks, and you quickly opened the phone so you could text her that you were okay.

Her reply came in before you had time to put the phone aside.

Does this mean you’re going to fuck my brother again?

Your cheeks were burning red when you looked up towards Taehyung. “Gosh.”

He smiled. “Eunjin?”

You nodded. “Let me just…” you trailed off as you texted your best friend that she was disgusting, adding three little dots and the winking emoji. You then shut your phone off, until only a black screen was staring up at you, before you looked at Taehyung again.

“She will probably kill me”, he said.

“She can try”, you replied from your spot on the bed. You put your phone on your bedside table, before moving until you were lying on your side, looking at Taehyung. “Why don’t you come here?”

The smirk on his lips made heat pool at your core as he moved towards you. Ever so slowly, with that same predator gait that made your blood boil inside. You bit your lip, holding in your own smirk.

Taehyung stopped next to your mattress. He undid his belt, slowly, and you shamelessly looked down as he let his pants fall around his ankles. The imprint of his dick in his pale underwear had you salivating, especially as your eyes followed it to the tip, where a wet spot indicated that precum had already leaked from his dick.

“You’re already hard for me”, you praised.

He palmed himself through his boxer briefs, cocking his head to the side. “My princess likes me hard, doesn’t she?”

You sat up, before moving to a kneeling position beside him. Because of your mattress, your mouth was at a level with his stomach instead of his dick, so you pressed a kiss under his belly button, before sucking the skin in. Totally aiming to leave a love bite there.

He hissed, one of his large hands moving in your hair so he could hold it like a ponytail. “You’re going to be a good girl and suck my dick, mmh?”

You kissed the tip of his dick, licking your lips chasing the salty taste of him. “Will you be a good boy and fuck me after?”

He let out a small laugh. “Dominant might look good on you.”

You bit into the side of his dick, softly. “Would it?” You moved to the tip, licking it. “I wonder what you would look like with me whipping you?”

His eyes went ten shades darker. “We’ll have to try.”

He grunted as you sucked him through the brief, and your saliva added a bigger spot where the precum already was. Taehyung seemed to grow tired of your teasing, because he pulled on your hair, long enough so he could pull his briefs down. His dick sprung free, and you let out a small breathy sound.

“You’re so thirsty for my dick, mmh?” Taehyung said. “You’re going to be a good girl and milk it for me now.”

You whined a little, because he was still pulling on your hair. He loosened the grip, and you immediately moved forward… only you avoided his dick, and you planted an open-mouthed kiss on the base of it. Looking up at Taehyung, holding his gaze as his cock stood hard next to your face.

“Fucking tease.” Taehyung looked angry, somehow. The cursing turned you on, and you sucked on the base of his dick, as you wrapped a hand around his length. Slowly jerking him off, never breaking eye contact. “Suck me, princess.”

You rolled your eyes playfully, but you finally gave in to his desires, pulling away just enough so you could wrap your lips around the head of his dick. You sucked on it, hollowing your cheeks as you swirled your tongue on his frenulum. A satisfied smirk appeared on his lips, and it only encouraged you to take him in your mouth, going as far as you could without choking.

“Good girl”, he praised, eyes never blinking. No, he was drinking in the sight of you, and you could tell he needed more. But you wanted him too, so you obeyed. Shutting your eyes to focus on sucking him, using your tongue to pleasure him in time with your hand as you jerked off what didn’t fit in your mouth.

Taehyung grunted, hips bucking forward just a little, but you could tell he was restraining himself. He didn’t want to fuck your mouth. Probably because he wanted to fuck your pussy all night and needed all his energy for that. The thought made you moan around the length of his dick, and he grunted louder this time.

“Fuck.”

You moaned again, swallowing around his dick as you took it as deep as you could. This time, you choked around him, and tears formed behind your closed eyelids. He pulled on your hair, until your mouth was free of his dick.

“Princess.”

You opened your eyes, looking up at him as you kept slowly jerking him off.

“I can’t believe the only dick you’ve sucked is mine, you’re so good.”

The praise made you moan, and Taehyung pulled your hand away from his cock. You offered him a confused look, but he kneeled in front of you, capturing your lips in a heated kiss.

His hands were everywhere: on your sides, on your back, in your hair. They moved to the front of your body, grabbing your breasts, pinching your nipples between his thumb and forefinger. He pinched hard, enough to hurt, but it only made you soak your panties even more.

Taehyung knew you liked a little pain. And he knew just how to hurt you to please you.

He pulled away from the kiss, replacing one hand with his mouth. He sucked on your nipple, worshipping it with his tongue as you moaned, arching your back and losing your hands in his hair. He nibbled at the sensitive bud and you shook in his hold, pleasure already building up inside of you. He chose that moment to let the other hand wander down your body, and he struggled with the button of your pants for a few seconds before it came undone, letting him dive his hand in, until he was cupping your pussy.

“You’re dripping wet, aren’t you?” he said, pulling away from your breast long enough to meet your gaze. “You’re going to come in no time.”

As if he wanted to prove his words, he sucked on your nipple again, using his teeth just enough to cause that blissful pain you had grown accustomed to. You moaned as he started pressing circles on your clit, through the fabric of your panties. You grinded in his hand, and sure enough there already was an orgasm bubbling on the horizon of your conscience. It came to you fast, and right before it hit you, Taehyung pulled away, stopping his ministrations on your nipple and your clit.

You let out a pained whine at the denied orgasm, and your hand reached towards your clit in the hope that you could still hit your high. Taehyung stopped you, grabbing your wrists until you stopped resisting him.

“You’re going to come only when I tell you to come, alright?”

His baritone voice was even lower than it usually was. Filled with danger, and you nodded your head. You wanted to be a good girl for him, because you knew he always rewarded you with the best orgasms when you were.

You nodded. “Alright.”

“On your back”, he said, your favourite smirk back on his lips.

You obeyed, eyes never leaving his dark gaze. The fallen angel through and through, about to use your body for his sins.

You’d let him use your body for his sins for the rest of your life. He must have noticed the emotion move over your face, because he climbed on top of you, pressing a gentle kiss on your forehead. Your eyes fluttered shut, and he pressed a kiss on your two cheeks before landing one on your lips. You kissed him back, sighing against him as he grabbed your wrists gently, pulling them over your head.

“No touching, mmh?”

He had barely pulled away, and you kept your eyes closed as you replied. “You should tie me up.”

“Don’t be a brat today, princess”, he warned. “I just want to enjoy you, I don’t want to have to punish you.”

You gulped, before slowly nodding your head. “I won’t touch you.”

“Good girl.”

He moved down your body, and your eyes fluttered open to look at him. He took off your pants, bringing your underwear down at the same time. His eyes were staring right at your pussy, and had you not known any better, you would have closed your thighs to hide yourself from his view. But clearly Taehyung was in a mood, and you didn’t want to anger him.

The denied orgasm still hurt deep down in your core.

You had expected Taehyung to eat you out. And he almost did, blowing a breath on your pussy, but he kneeled between your legs instead, letting his cock rest on your pubis.

“I almost want to fuck you like that”, he let out. “You’d be so fucking tight.”

But it’d hurt. That much you knew. And you also knew Taehyung would never hurt you like that. Still, your eyes fluttered shut as he moved back, just enough for his dick to move towards your entrance.

“And you’d let me do it, wouldn’t you?”

You would. “Yes”, you breathed, because you knew he liked it when you were vocal.

“Good girl.” He ran his hands on your thighs, pulling your legs up until he had them rested on one of his shoulders. “I’ll still finger you first.”

He had barely said the words before two long digits slipped inside of you. You let out a moan as he immediately curled them to hit the spot inside of you that made you see stars. And he fingered you relentlessly, and hard, until you were a moaning mess under his skilled fingers.

“You can’t come yet, mmh?” he let out as your walls clenched around him. “Wait until I tell you, princess.”

“Tae”, you moaned, and your eyes fluttered open.

He smirked at you. “Hi there.”

“I want to come”, you complained.

He pressed a kiss on the side of one of your legs. “You can wait just a little longer for me, mmh?” He landed another kiss on your calf. “I want you to come around my dick.”

The orgasm was close, clinging to you, making you ache from head to toe. You held it in, focusing on the strands of hair in front of his eyes. It moved as he fingered you, and he had to blink to keep it from touching his eyes. But he wasn’t slowing down, pushing against your g-spot until your legs shook on his shoulder.

“Do you think you can take me now?” he asked.

“Yes, Tae”, you said breathlessly. “Please.”          

His finger left you empty, only to move up to your clit. He started drawing circles on it again, and you shuddered as he pushed his dick against your lips. He had barely pushed the head in when you let out a small cry.

“Just a little longer, princess”, he told you, with his baritone voice. It was soothing, somehow, but all your mind could do was focus on where he was stretching you wide open.

He slowly bottomed out, and it did hurt a little. Indeed, you were tight against him, tighter than you usually were. Because he usually took his time to spread you open before fucking his dick into you.

But he hadn’t been able to wait tonight, had he? You could understand why: he thought he had lost you. And you knew what that could do to a man. Fear was an ugly emotion, but it wasn’t really the time to think about that though.

“Tae, it hurts”, you whined.

He stopped moving his fingers on your clit, and you whined even louder. “You want to come?”

You nodded. “Yes.” There were tears in your eyes, from all the denying of your orgasm. You blinked them away frustratedly.

“Have I made you wait long enough?” he asked, and he started pulling out, ever so slowly.

“Fuck, Tae.”

“Such a pretty princess”, he praised. “You will come for me now, mmh?”

You moaned as he started moving his fingers on your clit again, with the perfect pressure. Your eyes fell shut, and your orgasm hit you as he thrusted all the way in again.

It was one of the best orgasms of your life. Blinding, deafening, muting. It took away all of your senses, and the only thing you could feel was the place where your bodies were connected. It was his fingers on you, and his dick inside of you. It was the clenching of your walls around his length, in time with every wave of your orgasm. And he worked you through it, never slowing down. Giving you what you had been denied for too long. He milked every last drop of it, and you were pretty sure you had squirted at the same time from the squelching sounds your pussy made as he kept fucking into you, slowly.

“Fuck”, you let out as his fingers finally left your clit.

“That felt good?”

A small laugh fell from your lips. “Fuck.”

It wasn’t just good. It was pure ecstasy, a drug that had ignited every single nerve ending in your body. All your senses came rushing back to you, and your eyes fluttered open to the sight of Taehyung gazing at you lovingly.

“You’re so beautiful when you come”, he said. He was hugging your legs to his chest, still fucking into you slowly.

“Tae…”

“I want to see you come every day”, he continued, ignoring the loving plea in your voice. “I want to feel you come every day.”

“You’re crazy”, you said, letting out another small laugh.

“Crazy for you”, he agreed.

And then he was fucking you again, chasing his own high. Holding your legs to hit that sensitive spot inside of you, until he chose to lean on top of you, kissing you as he slowed the rhythm. He made love to you for a while, your lips never parting for longer than a few seconds. Just long enough to suck in a much-needed breath, before he was kissing you again.

Taehyung hit his high a while later. While you were digging your nails in the skin of his back in an attempt to pull him closer. You wanted him closer, even if he was buried deep inside of you, reaching spots inside of you you didn’t even think he had reached before.

Taehyung painted the walls of your pussy white as he came, grunting against your lips as you kissed him through his orgasm. You were pretty sure he was whispering your name as he shook with the waves of his own high, and you only held him tighter, until he stopped moving altogether.

You remained unmoving for a time, save for the kiss that you didn’t want to let end. You wanted to kiss him until you would die, and he gave in. Kissed you back, poured his love for you in the muscles of his mouth. You ran a hand along his back, through his soft hair, before settling your arms around his neck.

“I love you”, you whispered as he pulled away to rest his forehead against yours.

He pecked your lips. “I love you too.” He went soft inside of you, yet he still didn’t pull out.

You only then realized that Yeontan was barking like crazy. “We should take care of your dog.”

Taehyung hid his face in your neck. “I don’t want to move.”

You laughed, hugging him close, even though he was crushing you a little. “I don’t want to be evicted.”

He raised his head to look at you. You read the words in his eyes before he even said them.

“No.”

“Why not?”

“I won’t move in with you.”

He pouted, that same begging pout that could win wars for him. “Please?”

You couldn’t say no to him, could you?

“You really are crazy, aren’t you?”

He pecked your forehead. “How many times do I need to tell you that I’m crazy for you?”

 *****

 One year later

                 You looked at the pregnancy test in your lap. Though happy tears had been blurring your vision, there was no mistaking: you were pregnant.

You could hear Taehyung gaming from the bathroom, unaware that your lives were about to change. Unaware that in just under nine months you would welcome your first child. You had been trying for a couple of weeks now – now that you had finally decided to quit your job to raise your kids at home. Not that you had quit yet, you had decided to wait until you were married and pregnant before you did.

It seemed life had chosen for it to come sooner than later.

You blinked the tears away, letting out a small happy laugh. You imagined the child: would they look like Taehyung, with one double lid and a mono lid, or would they have your features? And their hands: their fingers would be so small, almost as tiny as grains of rice.

You couldn’t wait until you could hold those little hands in your own. For the moment, all you could do was land a hand on your lower stomach, stroking it gently. The next few weeks would be uncertain. You knew there was a possibility you would lose the baby, but something about the feeling bubbling in your chest reassured you.

There was a little bit of you and Taehyung, growing inside of you right now.

A happy tear rolled on your cheek and you wiped it with the back of your hand as you heard Taehyung cheer in his gaming room. He was playing Overwatch with Jungkook, and from what you could tell, they had just won a game.

You got up from the toilet seat, where you had anxiously waited for the results of the pregnancy test. It was your third time doing one, but the first time you had ever seen it positive. You clutched it to your chest, following Taehyung’s cheery voice as you made your way to his gaming room.

“We annihilated them”, Taehyung was saying. “Bro, I swear we could start a team.”

There was silence for a while, during which you assumed Jungkook was replying on his side of the call.

“I’m sure Jin-hyung would join.” It took a moment, but Taehyung burst out laughing, and the sound of his laugh brought a whole new grin to your lips.

He came to view, sitting in front of his gaming set-up. The only light in the room was coming from the two screens of his set-up, and he turned his head towards you as you walked into the room. Light flickered on his profile, and his mouth fell open as he noticed your teary-eyed smile.

“Everything okay?” he asked.

You let out a small happy sob.

“JK, I’ll be right back.”

He took off his headset, putting it down next to his keyboard before rolling away from the desk.

“Hey, princess, why are you crying?” he enquired as you remained silent.

You finished crossing the distance between you, handing him the pregnancy test. It took him a moment to connect the dots. But you had never seen anything as beautiful as Taehyung when he realized he was going to be a dad.

“You’re shitting me?” he said, eyes filling with tears.

You started crying again, shaking your head no. “I’m pregnant.”

“You’re pregnant?” His voice broke at the end, right as a blinding boxy grin split his face in half.

You nodded, and Taehyung jumped out of his chair to wrap his arm around you. He laughed and cried, and you held him close as you did the same. You didn’t think it was possible, but your love for him grew tenfold.

You were going to have a child. A little bit of the two of you.

“I can’t believe it”, he choked out through sobs. “We’re going to have a baby.”

You nodded again. “Our first one.”

“We need to get married”, he pointed out, pulling away from your embrace to look at your face.

You reached to dry the happy tears on his cheeks. “Should we get married before we tell the family?”

“I don’t know. Eunjin is going to be so happy”, Taehyung pointed out. “Your parents might be worried since we aren’t married though.”

You looked at him pointedly. “My parents adore you, they won’t give a shit.”

   “Do you want to get married right now?” he asked.

“Tonight?”

He let out a small laugh. “Tomorrow, I don’t care.”

“Didn’t we just say we could wait?”

Taehyung picked you up and spun you around once, before letting your feet meet the ground again. “I want to marry you.”

You laughed through the new wave of tears. “We can marry when the baby is born.”

His eyes widened. “We’re going to have a baby”, he repeated, tasting the words carefully on his tongue. “A little boy!”

You furrowed your brows. “Why not a little girl?”

“I want a boy first.”

“I want a girl.”

“You say that just to oppose me.”

He wasn’t wrong, and you shrugged sheepishly, letting out another laugh.

“I fucking love you, you know that?” He pressed a kiss to your lips as if to give emphasis to his words. You kissed him back, but he pulled away after a few seconds. “I need to tell JK.”

“You didn’t mute yourself.”

He hadn’t had time to. You were pretty sure you could hear Jungkook screaming on his side of the Discord call.

“Aish”, Taehyung let out, and you shared a laugh as he moved towards his set-up. He grabbed the headset, putting it over his head. “Shut up, JK, I’m back.”

Taehyung nodded, as if his friend could see him.

“Yes.” He waited for a time, then nodded again. “Let me give the headset to her, I’m pretty sure she can answer herself.”

Taehyung took it off, handing it to you. You cocked an eyebrow in confusion, but still walked towards him, grabbing the headset and putting it on.

“What’s up?” you asked.

“Can I be the godfather?” Jungkook asked – or rather screamed – through his mic.

You winced at how loud Taehyung’s friend was. “Jesus Christ, I’m pretty sure my ears are bleeding now.”

“Can I?” Jungkook asked again, with a little voice that resembled that of a child himself.

“That’s a lot of responsibility”, you pointed out.

There was shuffling on Jungkook’s side, and then his girlfriend started talking. “Y/n, I swear to God if you say no to him I am going to tattoo you in your sleep.”

“You wouldn’t dare”, you said, pouting, but you already had a smile on your lips.

Taehyung and you had decided a while ago who were going to be the godparents. Eunjin and Jungkook. It was the easiest choice you had made about deciding to have a child together.

“Give me Jungkook back”, you told your friend.

She let out an excited yelp. “Hold on.”

It took a few seconds, but then Jungkook’s voice filled your ears again. “So?”

“Yes, you’re going to be the godfather, dumbass.”

Taehyung was smiling lovingly at you. He wrapped his arms around your middle, resting his head on your shoulder. You turned to look at him, offering him a lovesick smile.

“Thank you thank you thank you”, Jungkook kept repeating in his mic. “I promise I’ll be the…“ His words were cut off. “Ouch, that hurt.”

You heard his girlfriend’s iconic laugh and your smile only grew bigger.

You loved these people far too much for your own good.

“But JK?” you said as you listened to him bickering with his girlfriend.

The bickering ended, and he let out an, “Uh?”

“Please don’t tell the others for now. Just in case something happens.”

“I promise”, Jungkook said, voice filled with emotions. “Our lips are sealed.”

You smiled and then took off the headset. You handed it to Taehyung, and he took it with his bright, teary eyes. He put it back on, before sitting in his chair. He and Jungkook chatted for a while, and you sat on Taehyung, resting your head against his chest. You listened to his heartbeat as he ran a hand on your back, the other having found a home on your lower stomach.

As if he’d feel the baby kicking already.

Taehyung’s heartbeat was steady. A rhythm you had grown to know by heart, a melody that accompanied the nights when you couldn’t sleep. Your lips stretched into a smile at the thought that many sleepless nights were to come. But you could take a thousand of them if it meant building a family with Taehyung.

After all, you had always been crazy for him too.

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

So, what do we think? One hell of a journey isn’t it? I hope you enjoyed it <3

Don’t hesitate to leave feedback by following this link! It always helped to keep motivated into writing more!

All rights reserved to @/oddinary4bts 2023

Taglist:

@chimchimmarie​ | @pamzn​ |

[daechwitatamic]

Of Ruin || KTH || Masterpost

(banner by @/itaeewon)

Title: Of Ruin

Status: complete - all chapters now posted

WC: 85k total, 16 chapters

Rating: NSFW - minors DNI

Pairing: KTH x reader || platonic Namjoon x reader friendship!

Genre: supernatural!au royalty!au magic!au || s2l || angst fluff smut trifecta 

Summary: Taehyung of House Rune, Prince of Infracticus has been cursed. You’re the human world’s leading curse-breaker. It should be simple. But unraveling the curse becomes the least of your problems in the face of a world on the brink of civil war… and the love you start to feel for the prince.

Warnings: language, casual drinking, lots of vampire warnings such as scary situations, vampires hunting/biting/feeding/killing, magic and magical fighting, magical world politics, eventual smut but not a lot dont expect too much, EXTREMELY slow burn even for me DONT SAY I DIDNT WARN YOU, chapters will have individual warnings

Author’s Note: Although the worlds, rules, characterizations, and plot are very extremely different, I have to say that I was inspired to write this after reading @/kth1fics Black Ravens series. Thank you to Maggie for being so gracious when I asked if she’d be okay with me trying a vamp!tae fic of my own.

Big thank you to @sailoryooons for the quick, thorough, and masterful beta job, and for letting me ask questions, shout and scream, and send endless screenshots as I worked on this for the last six months! Thank you also to @eoieopda, @jeonqkooks, and @yoongiphoria for accepting an ungodly number of screenshots as well. There would be no fic without y'all, I mean it!

Series Teaser:

He’s on you in an instant, so quickly you don’t see him move. Your back hits the wall behind you and you let out an audible grunt.

He sniffs at you, fangs displayed and ready. Your heart pounds desperately, and beneath his inhumanly strong hold, your muscles shake. Your body knows you are about to die, even if your mind still wants to lie to you about it.

He laves at a spot near the base of your neck, giving a happy hum as your pulse thunders against his tongue. You close your eyes, feeling your whole body shudder in terror.

“Taehyung,” you whisper, eyelids fluttering.

Chapter 1 || wc: 5.7k

Chapter 2 || wc: 5.9k

Chapter 3 || wc: 5.1k

Chapter 4 || wc: 5.5k

Chapter 5 || wc: 4.6

Chapter 6 || wc: 6k

Chapter 7 || wc: 5k

Chapter 8 || wc: 4.8k

Chapter 9 || wc: 4.3k

Chapter 10 || wc: 5.2k

Chapter 11 || wc: 4.7k

Chapter 12 || wc: 4.8k

Chapter 13 || wc: 6k

Chapter 14 || wc: 6.3k

Chapter 15 || wc: 5k

Chapter 16 || wc: 5.1k

[kingminie]

until forever falls apart | 01.

pairing: kim taehyung, reader 

genre: angst, exes au. 

warnings: emotional cheating, infidelity, swearing, detailed smut, chain smoking as a coping mechanism.

word count: 11.8k

description: you’ve never been much of a believer in the phrase ‘first love never dies’ but it seems as if the universe badly wants to prove it to you — and you’re absolutely and royally damned the moment you find out that the phrase holds truth. 

or alternatively, you come as a stand-in photographer for your cousin’s prenup shoot and you find out that it’s your secret ex who’s about to get married, and kim taehyung really doesn’t make it any less easy for you. 

01 | ongoing.

Love has always been easy for you — both falling into or getting out of it, but more of the latter, really. 

However, there are things about this so-called ‘love’ that you don’t quite get — will probably never get — and it leaves you in a sticky position when friends come to ask advice that roots from such a concept.

It always ends in a snotty mess and a sigh of I don’t know why I came to you for this at the end anyway. It makes you feel like shit; a clueless, ignorant, wondering piece of shit because how is it that everyone seems to have been looking at love and defining it from a single different lens with a unified perspective, and you’re stuck at seeing it from the other endpoint.

It isn’t your fault you don’t assimilate hurt with loving, is it? It isn’t your fault that you don’t expect to clean up a colossal mess every time love comes to its end. And it most certainly isn’t your fault that when love ends, you let it go. It ended, and that’s that. For you, anyway. So, why exactly, do people fault you for having such a reaction at the conclusion of a relationship?

Why does it seem to be a taboo and something that’s unheard of when a month after a relationship ends, you find yourself not grieving over a love that’s lost? When and why does it seem to have become the standard to mope and pine and cry as if acceptance and moving on is an outlawed concept right after a relationship ends?

That’s because you’re a heartless, unfeeling bastard, that’s why, as your best friend, Jungkook, so likes to put it every single time. And maybe, it is the defeat and the eventual acceptance that people will never see things in your perspective that you just roll your eyes and move on with your day. 

Love, for you, is something that ends when it ends. A wound that closes, heals. It leaves a scar, sure. You remember the hurt, yes. But the initial peak of pain wouldn’t be there again if it healed, would it.

With all that, you’ve become unsure — of what to do, of what to say, of how to act — when people lament over a lost love. Which, at this very moment, is what exactly your sister is doing. 

All tears, snot, and hiccups under your blankets. 

Sobs wrack her body in an uncontrollable shake, a vibrating mess under the sheets as you’re left to wonder what the fuck to do with your hands. But you never get the answer because she wails, head lifting from the blankets, “How could he do that to me? Six years, six years! Six years he threw away for what, a year of meaningless sex with his assistant?” 

You don’t really think it’s meaningless when dear, dear respectable Hyunwoo decides to break off the engagement, but you keep your mouth shut and continue to awkwardly pat your sister’s back. 

Your hand stills just an inch away from her back when she looks at you, wet eyes and mouth set in a downward curve, and whispers, “What should I do now?” She sniffles and you flinch. Because her goddamn snot is staining your bed but fuck, okay, you can’t think about that now, “I love him.”

You hesitate, weighing the words you’re about to speak in your head and thinking about the consequences before settling for a question, “You–you’re not thinking about giving him another shot if he asks for it, are you?” 

At this, your sister remains silent and you sigh because yes, yes she will give him a chance in one heartbeat if the bastard do so much as give her a fucking petal and a printed ‘I’m sorry’ hallmark note.

“You don’t get it.” 

Ah, there it is. 

Of course, it’s always going to come down to you not getting it. 

Maybe your sister sees it, the anger bubbling in your gaze as you glare at her, because she scrambles to sit down with her legs underneath her, knees parallel each other as she kneels on the bed facing you.

And it would have been funny, seeing your older sister like this, but the searing exasperation breaks through and you let it, mouth opening, “No, you don’t get it. See, this is not just a matter of moving the fuck on. He fucked you over, Hana, so much that there’s no amount of apology or groveling he can do to fix that. He fucked his assistant when he’s due to walk down the aisle in a year with you and if that doesn’t spell out how much respect he has for you, for our family, and you still choose to remain blind despite that, then you came to the wrong person because I won’t coddle you.” 

“I care about you,” your voice softens and you see her shoulders slump, “This is not just about my once-it-ends-then-it-ends view on relationships. Hyunwoo did an unthinkable, unforgivable thing and there’s no going back from that. I’m not letting you walk back to the person who lacks respect for a relationship, much less for you. Do you get where I’m coming from?” 

Hana nods meekly, head hanging low before you hear her sniffle once more. It hurts to see her like this and you want nothing more but to pummel the son of a bitch who did this to her, “I’m sorry.” 

You shake your head and you let out a breath, all air knocked out from your lungs when she slumps forward, arms snaking around your shoulders as she pulls you in for a tight hug, the phrase of ‘thank you’ and ‘sorry’ a litany on her tongue.  You squeak as her legs slither their way around you in a tight grip and she lets out a weak laugh that sounded much more like a wheeze before you push her off, feeling a wet blot on your shoulder. 

“I want to be you for a day. Not like you,” she mutters as she gets comfortable on the pillows, your pillows, “But be you entirely. I want this pain to vanish in a week and just forget about him.” 

She pauses, “Maybe after I key his car.” 

The pain doesn’t vanish, you think and tell her. “I just learned how to deal with it, Hana. And it isn’t overnight that I do it. And you will get over it too. Heal from it. Someday, one day.” 

The silence that follows is comforting, and you think she must’ve fallen asleep, just as most do after a good cry. But she hasn’t, you realize, when she rolls over once more and speaks in a quiet voice, “The way you are right now,” she pauses, only continuing when you give her a nod, “is it because of him?”

There are only a handful of people that could fit about who she means, you know that, but you refuse to speak of any of them and opt to ask her a question instead, “Which way that I am exactly are you referring to?” 

“The closed-off you,” Hana replies, a soft tilt to her words, “I had a theory, you know, that you moved on so fast from the relationships you had after because you were never really invested in the people after him. That he broke you, enough for you to place that, whatever you have around your heart that doesn’t allow people to hurt you. You love other people, but you never really allow them to love you as much because of it which makes detachment and parting easier when it ends.” 

You don’t really mean to, but the words Hana speaks are like a vacuum, drawing you into a place you’ve managed to tuck away in the very back of your mind. Memories rush in and you drown in it — of honey blond hair, rectangle smiles, and skin that smelled of oakmoss and jasmine. 

“Am I right?” 

You let out a laugh as you nudge a pillow towards your sister, “You and your unending theories. No, Hana. It’s not because of anyone in particular. This is just how I am, how I think. It’s just unfortunate that it's only the minority that shares the same sentiments as I do.” 

Hana looks as if she’d try to refute before deciding against it, groaning when her phone rings and you raise an eyebrow because who in hell would be calling her at midnight. She shakes her head, twisting the phone around so you can see who’s calling and you see the word Studio and you shrug before she takes the call, only hearing snippets of the conversation and it seems as if it's about work. 

Hana owns a photography studio — a hobby turned business venture with her friends. Your parents were against it initially, deeming it a ‘not suitable’ business for Hana, but your older sister is a head-strong bull and proceeded with her plans without a single support from your parents and of course, because she’s Hana Park, she can make anything succeed if she puts her mind to it. 

“—yeah, you goof, I’ll be right there, don’t worry. Why are you so stressed about this anyway, is this your secret wedding or something?” You lie closer to your sister and she mouths ‘Jimin’ before returning to picking her nails, “I get it, okay. Stop freaking out, I promise to be there tomorrow. M’kay, bye.” 

She heaves a dragged-out, exaggerated sigh just as she tosses her phone on the bed where it bounced, “You know, I’d assume it’s our dear brother’s prenuptial photoshoot tomorrow with the way he’s freaking out over the details. I’d actually think that if I didn’t know of him and his single ass and his emotional attachment to his bachelor title.” 

“It’s Sunday tomorrow, and you’re booked because of that phone call,” You list, “So I can only assume Jimin knows one of them and used his connections to book your exclusive ass into working on a Sunday.” 

Hana laughs, “You’re not wrong. Soyeon made the reservation for November, which is like, a month from now. Jimin moved it for tomorrow in such a rush last week for reasons I don’t know why.” 

“Soyeon?” You gasp, eyes going wide, “You’re not talking about Yang Soyeon, are you? Oh my god, how did I not know about this?”

Your sister snorts, ungraceful and loud, “Who would have expected for the youngest cousin in the family to be the first one to be wed, huh? Date’s set for April next year and I don’t even know who she’s marrying,” But she pauses and a frown mars her features, “I would’ve been the first one to walk the aisle and yet, here I am.” 

Wait. 

“Hana,” you start, “aren’t you meeting Hyunwoo’s parents tomorrow for brunch? To formally call off the wedding? Isn’t that what you came here for tonight, because you were having second thoughts of actually calling it off tomorrow?”

You see the realization dawn upon her, her eyes widening in recognition of the planned confrontation, her mouth dropping to a comical shape of the letter ‘o’ before she sits up so fast you actually ask if her back’s okay and you hear the frantic hits of her nails against the glass of her phone, the worry leaking thickly in her voice as she speaks to multiple people, all of which ending in a frustrated sigh and groan from your older sister. 

“Fuck!” she screams as she disconnects from a call once more, “I can’t find anyone to replace me, everyone’s either booked already or have plans for tomorrow. Fuck, shit, I’m screwed. Jimin’s going to kill me. No photographer’s available tomorrow, what am I going to do now, I—you.”

You still, nailed in place by her stare, “Fuck are you looking at me for?” 

It’s in this moment you feel the doom coming down on you from all the corners of the universe when Hana smiles, actually feeling it that you shiver. She picks up the phone, calls Jimin, asks if 10 o’clock is okay for everyone to gather tomorrow, kisses your cheek good night. 

Kiss of fucking death, you feel like. 

You’re never a morning person — nor do you have plans to become one — and you aren’t used to being awakened by a goddamn wet, slimy tongue licking your face all over. 

Hana’s laugh echoes around your room, followed by hushed good job from her and a shrill bark from her dog (you really did not know how Orion arrived here when the dog wasn’t even here last night), and you are never one to have thoughts of murder so early in the morning but your family has really been testing your limits. But then you remember that you willingly handed over to Hana the passcode to your apartment, something for emergencies and shit like that, but of course, she took it as an invitation to come and go as she pleases. 

Fortunately, she cleans up after Orion’s mess, thank god. 

Rolling over, you prepare to squint as protection against the glare of the sun since Hana had already pulled back the curtains, but you sit up at the lack of the sun’s intrusion into your eyes and see that the sun hasn’t even risen yet. The city that you can see through the glass window is quiet, still in deep sleep. As you should be just before Hana woke you up. 

“Dad’s going to have a fit when I tell him what you’re blackmailing me to do,” you groan, falling back on your pillow, “I’m running his business and here you are making me take photos of people Dad hates, well, by extension.”

Hana does nothing but flash you a grin, “You’re the only one I can trust to be on par with my skills, honey. Besides, I already have Dad booked in the freaking out area ‘cause you know, I’m a bachelorette now.”

You roll your eyes and you move off your bed, making it neat and tidy to which Hana scoffs before grabbing the mug of cold coffee right from her hands and chugging it all down. Looks like you’ll need more than a cup with what you’re going to be faced with today. 

“Is Jimin coming? My car’s in the mechanic, I’m getting it tomorrow.”

Hana nods before telling you just how far Jimin is from your apartment, “About Jimin, actually.” Your sister trails off and you feel an oncoming headache because of course, there’s more. 

“I didn't exactly tell him I can’t make it today so I’m trusting you to, um, calm him down when he freaks? He’s only weak to your charms and absolutely immune to mine.” 

Turns out a little while after that, Jimin’s absolutely immune to the both of you. Especially you.

“No, what the fuck. What—no.” 

Jimin stands frozen, fingers gripping the edges of the kitchen island. His eyes are wide, mouth open in disbelief as he listens to Hana’s explanations of why she can’t go today, her eyes flashing as if to call you for help but you only shrug because there’s really nothing you can do to help her out of this. She made her own bed, might as well let her lie in it. 

It irks you quite a bit though when Jimin starts to become unreasonable despite Hana’s crystal clear explanation as to why she’s unavailable today, and on a typical day, you know Jimin would understand, and would easily let it go because obviously, Hana’s life matters take precedence over a photoshoot that can be scheduled on a different day. Jimin today, however, is extra adamant on not having you take over the shoot and it might have very, just very slightly struck the wrong nerve in you.

“You know, Jimin, if this is a matter of your trust in my abilities, I’d gladly back out of this. I’m doing this as a favor to Hana, I’m not here to help you,” you quip, tight and low as you regard the both of them, “So, if you refuse to accept my help, then call your friend to find another photographer, better yet schedule another one with Hana.”

Hana starts to protest but Jimin shakes his head, turns to you with soft eyes and a pouting set of lips, “I’m sorry, that came off wrong. Really wrong. I swear I wasn’t trying to undermine your abilities, nor am I saying that there is anything to undermine because you’re good as shit at this, maybe even better than Hana, it’s just that—”

He cuts off his ramble mid-sentence as if to catch himself — to keep from spilling whatever his reservation about you being the stand-in for Hana, which you don’t really know what. 

Three things about Jimin are these: he rambles when he’s extremely nervous, fidgets with his thumbs when he’s scared, and refuses to make any eye contact if he believes he’s done something wrong. It’s always one of the three when it comes to him and never altogether. And yet, he stands in front of you, doing all three simultaneously and your heart plummets to the marble flooring beneath you because what is he so scared of, really, to be like this in front of you. 

“Look, if you don’t want me to do this, that’s okay,” You start to speak and Jimin turns to you and opens his mouth to speak when you shake your head. You aren’t finished speaking, “That is, if you have an alternative, if Soyeon agrees to reschedule, I’m sure Hana can fit them right in some other time—” You give a pointed look at your sister who rolls her eyes but nods, “—but if they don’t, you have no choice, Jimin. Unless you want to take the photos yourself.”

Jimin lets out a breath, agrees, and proceeds to call whoever he needs to and converses in a low tone that isn’t discernible to you, but Hana can hear and your eyebrows furrow in concern when her head turns so fast towards Jimin’s direction, panic clear-cut in her eyes as she picks up on whatever it is that Jimin is saying. She curses under her breath, turns ghostly pale before she pulls Jimin into one of the guest rooms, leaving you to your thoughts and your second cup of coffee. 

“You kept this?”

It’s a good three minutes after that Jimin’s voice pulls you out of your trance — your attention previously held by the large black ant that is now on top of an apple. You turn and your breath hitches at the rough sketch of the overly-familiar Pomeranian in his right hand. You shrug, “Jungkook must have left it there when he came over.” 

At this, Jimin raises his eyebrows. Stares at the picture a little bit too long before putting it back in place, under Jungkook’s purple-pink painting of a sunset, to the right of Jimin’s present two years before. He then looks at you, really looks at you, that you become unnerved enough to look away and pretend to busy yourself with some imaginary dust on the counter. 

You know. You know how the framed sketch is too clean, too in place, and too taken care of to be something that your best friend accidentally left behind. And you know Jimin knows this too with the way his eyes turn to you and you fear. Fear that pity would be reflected in them and so you stand abruptly, deaf to the frantic calls of Hana and you head straight to the building basement and settle comfortably on the passenger seat of Jimin’s car. 

You ran because you’re a coward — afraid to face questions you know you have no answers to.

Jimin enters not a minute later, silent and mum, but the silent looks your sibling keeps giving you is not something you miss no matter how discreet he tries to be about it. You brush it off though, citing the tense atmosphere to be the reason he’s doing so. 

But little do you know that this is the first of the many mistakes you will be making — the tiniest among all others.

The theme is simple. Glamour, editorial-esque Vogue-spread motif. Fit for the rich. Something that exudes elegance and opulence. Classy, simple, and elegant. You nod as you skim through the print-out Hana rushes to get to you through one of her employees, one hand busy writing ideas and suggestions. 

It warms your heart that despite all the things Hana has to face today, she hasn’t failed to make everything easier for you, as she always does. And everything’s in accordance, just as they should be. That is, except for one, someone. Jimin really cannot stop himself from shaking and you actually fear the poor boy is turning into a leaf, dancing in the wind, with how he physically cannot stop himself from moving. 

You’ve had enough of it — his nervous fidgeting, the frantic scan of his eyes among the crowd, the unending bounce of his knees — so you move to approach him, just in time to pluck out the cigarette he’s about to light in his hand and he jumps, “Minie, you’re making me nervous here. I’ve seen you nervous but it’s never been this bad.” 

Jimin looks at you and your chest constricts at the face he’s making. A beat, two beats before he lets out a shaky breath, “I’m sorry.”

You think of the exchange back at your apartment, the one where it came off as if he had no faith in you as Hana’s substitute and you let out a small laugh. You know Jimin would never think that. Flicking his chin, you shake your head, “It was me who took your words the wrong way, Min. You don’t need to apologize.”

He looks as if he wants to say more but a car pulls up, red and ostentatious with the way the roof is folded down, and you grin as you see your cousin, a matching upward curve to her lips. 

It isn’t new, really, when you catch sight of her hair — beautiful shades of cotton candy pink and pastel blue glinting under the sun. 

Beautiful, daring Soyeon, the darling of the Yangs. 

You nearly meet your end, though, that day if it isn’t for Jimin cursing and pulling you back when Soyeon isn’t able to stop her car at the designated yellow parking line and she too squeaks a wheeze when she steps on the brakes. The car comes to a stop, and you see her breath does too, before she throws her head back and laughs. 

“You’re fucking crazy.”

She sticks out her tongue before she jumps over the door, her flimsy taupe pants billowing after her. You only manage to let out a yelp of protest before she has you and Jimin in a bone-crushing hug and you feel your chest rasp to get some air in when she squeezes once more before finally letting go. 

“This is a two-people marriage we’re having today, right? You’re not marrying yourself here?” You ask and laugh as she rolls her eyes. It’s definitely her thing and it wouldn’t be a surprise if she did. “I didn’t even know you were in a relationship and now you’re getting married?”

She shrugs, a wide smile still on her lips, “It just happened,” Her eyebrows furrow when she looks over at Jimin who’s uncharacteristically silent and nudges him, “I still won’t forgive you. I know my groom’s your best friend but it doesn’t really give you a free-pass to have him here at six in the morning to get you coffee. Who does that?”

You don’t really hear what Jimin has to say to her because you’re bidding your goodbye to them both when one of Hana’s assistants — the one she had assigned to brief you over all the details of today’s shoot — pulls you from the conversation, apology written all over her face at the thought of interrupting you but as soon as she open her mouth to speak, you dismiss it with an its okay and you signal for her to go ahead. 

“This is the final list of the concepts Hana had brainstormed which one of the client is yet to choose from,” she hands you a thin stack of paper, a portfolio sandwiched between two clear binding covers, “The bride has already chosen the concepts she wants that are to be included for today’s shoot, so, all that's left is to hand the checklist to the groom for the shoot next week.”

Nodding, you skim through the portfolio and shit, it’s definitely good. 

You’re whisked away towards the building, directed towards the seventh floor of the rented building in which you’re told Soyeon’s groom is, handpicking his outfits for the day. 

You give the door a knock, hearing a bustle of people talking on the other side of the door, and when no one answers, you push the door open. You’re immediately greeted by a flurry of people walking back and forth, all of them either with stacks of paper in their arms or Brioni and Gucci suits in tow. 

It’s a mess, a downright mess you want to run from because you haven’t ingested enough coffee to face this. 

Which is exactly why you nearly cry when someone steps in front of you, a neat smile in place and a large cup of iced coffee in one hand, a hand extending towards you, “You look like you need this.” 

He tilts his head once, gesturing inside the room, “I’m Yoongi, Min Yoongi. Jimin texted me earlier that his other sister is standing in for Hana and I assume that’s you.” 

Something feels vaguely familiar about Min Yoongi and you list it off as a passing name Jimin had mentioned in the stories he had told you. 

“There’s a meeting room on the very far left, grumpy groom’s there,” Yoongi smiles, “Nice meeting you, um—”

“(Y/N). My name’s (Y/N), nice to meet you too, Yoongi.”

You think as you walk that there’s no point in going over next week’s concept today since Hana can already make it by the next photoshoot and she would’ve understand better the dynamics of it all if they talk then, but okay, since you’re already here, might as well help all the way. 

Through the frosted glass of the meeting room, you see a silhouette, tall and broad. You have never been a people-person and meeting new ones really isn’t your strong point so you take three deep breaths, hand tightening on the cup of coffee Yoongi handed you, before pushing the glass door open. 

“Hi, I’m sorry I ran a bit late. It’s—” 

And you stop. 

You stop because you suddenly can’t feel the cold cup slipping from your grip. You stop because you feel the liquid pool at the very bottom of your shoes, sticky and wet and messy. You stop because you can’t breathe. You stop because your heart fucking stops too at the sight of Kim Taehyung. 

Beautiful, dazzling Kim Taehyung. 

First boyfriend, first love, now ex-lover, Kim Taehyung. 

Soyeon’s groom and soon-to-be husband, Kim Taehyung.

“Everything okay here?” Yoongi. You hear his footsteps behind you before you see him and you can’t be thankful enough at the interference that’s very much needed. 

But you allow yourself to be pathetic, just as you always are around Kim Taehyung. And because you can’t help it, frankly, when your eyes meet his and all sense that is good and common jumps out the window behind him. Because he looks fucking beautiful — him and his honey hair that’s now framing his face, a little bit longer, lighter. Because the room reeks of him, jasmine, vanilla, and oakmoss and it consumes you. The part of you that, despite it all, still longs for the Kim Taehyung from four years past.

On a good day and you meet him once more, you think you would have laughed. A fake smile and a head held high would’ve done it in front of him. But all it takes is one look now. One look, at the time when all your defenses are down, for the self-imposed chain that blocks it all to break and give, a domino effect in your mind as it all comes back; the whirlwind of feelings and emotions that the calamity of him brings forth. 

You nod, feeling the light touch of Yoongi’s fingers around your arm, and you anchor yourself with it. Pull yourself from drowning in him once more. “Yeah, sorry,” You breathe, “It slipped. I’m really sorry.”

“No, no, it’s okay. I’ll have someone take care of it, don’t worry,” Yoongi waves you off when you bend down to start cleaning up your mess, nods toward Taehyung, “Go on, he gets grumpy if he’s left to wait.” 

Oh, you know. 

So, you do. 

You drag your legs to where Taehyung stands, feeling like you’re hauling wet logs for limbs. It’s silent, save for the sound of Yoongi’s shoes against the floor as he kicks at the fallen blocks of ice, and maybe, he takes the silence for Taehyung’s bout of pettiness because he hisses a quiet behave before he walks out. The silence becomes even more suffocating when now it’s just you and Taehyung. 

“So—”

“I—”

You shut your mouth when he speaks at the same time as you. 

You decide, though, to continue because you’re here for one thing and that one thing entails that you have something to say to him. But he doesn’t, he shouldn’t. 

“So, let’s talk about concepts. I’ve been told that Soyeon has already chosen the ones for today — for both your individual and couple shots, and you get to choose the ones for the shoot with Hana next week. Here,” you slide the portfolio across the table, taking a seat across his own without waiting for him, “Hana already made an outline for everything so, this, is basically a checklist you just have to choose from and—”

“How are you?” 

“—I’m just going to wait until you’re done filling them out so I can bring them back and start with—”

“(Y/N).” You finally look at him then and you look away the second you do because you’re trying so hard to keep yourself whole and you feel like one second more in his gaze and you’ll fall apart, “I’m sorry.” 

And you try. God, you try so hard to repress the tiny, evil voice that pushes you to throw reason out the window. But it comes out anyway, and there’s no stopping what flows out of your mouth after, “Why,” you laugh, “Sorry because you wouldn't have chosen Hana's studio if you knew I was the one to take your photos? Or sorry because you had my brother acting like a train wreck just to keep this from me? Don’t worry I won’t be here next week.” 

His face pinches, tongue rolling out to wet his lips, “I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Then don’t apologize to me—” you grit, fists clenched and heart thundering, “—as if you assumed that seeing you has put me in a position that hurt me. Because it really doesn’t. Not anymore, Taehyung. So if you have anything to apologize for—” 

You cut yourself off because no, no he has nothing to apologize for. He doesn’t have to say sorry. One person deciding to walk out of a relationship doesn’t warrant an apology from them. An explanation, sure, but you don’t really need it from him. He made it clear enough all those years ago just before he slammed the door of your apartment shut that he just didn’t love you enough — not anymore then. 

It’s been four years. It’s been four long years and you should be over him — and you are, you’re certain that you are. But it doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt because it does, fuck, it still hurts so much and you don’t know why. 

“—apologize to Jimin because I just know he feels like shit for lying to me because of you.” 

You commit your second mistake that same day in the middle of shooting Taehyung’s individual photos. Soyeon had gone for a nature theme this time and so you find yourself in the middle of the forest with a near-naked Taehyung in tow and thank heavens it rains because one more glimpse through the viewfinder at his well-oiled torso and you might have combust and run away from the photoshoot, Hana’s reputation be damned. 

Jimin seems to be attached to you now, becoming a human magnet not long after he had apologized so much he knelt, snuggling to your side every chance he gets that it’s suffocating you because he’s overcompensating but you don’t really have the heart to call him out. Not when he looks like a puppy whose tail got accidentally stepped on when you get around to even do so much as try. 

So, you let him become your shadow for the time being, finally letting out a huge breath of relief when lunch time comes around and everybody takes a break and you slip past him to the very back of the dilapidated cabin you stumbled upon just before the last shoot ended, not too deep into the forest that faces the river. 

Finally, you think, as you savor the peace, even though momentary. You’re glad to be away from the commotion and it makes you realize once more why you choose to be cooped up in an office. It’s because you really can’t handle this many people and it physically and emotionally drains you that you can’t think.

You pause when you reach into your pockets, the gritty warning from Hana and Jimin an alarm ricocheting in your mind how it’s an unhealthy habit and it’s going to fucking ruin you someday. But the short-lived guilt is replaced by justifications of how it’ll be a free-pass and your siblings can fuck off because they’re the reason you’re here in the first place. 

Besides, burning through one stick won’t hurt them if they don't know. 

So you let your fingers feel for the familiar leather case, pull the only stick inside and you’re so, so close to reaching your sweet release from this damned mental pressure when you realize you left your lighter at home. Letting out a curse, you clamp your mouth around the unlit cigarette, letting it hang and opting to indulge in its semi-sweet smell that goes so well with the rain. 

“Want a light?”

You still, the cigarette falling from your lips at the sudden fright. Down, down, and down until it’s washed away by the rain. What a waste, you lament. Sighing, you turn and see Taehyung who’s sporting a sheepish smile, the same familiar white in between his own mouth, lit unlike yours, “I’d accept, but there’s really nothing that needs lighting anymore.”

He has a shirt on now, you notice, flimsy and buttoned up halfway. His hair is tousled messily, now free from the rigid form it previously had, and you give him your back when you feel the urge to fix the fraction of hair that has fallen forward. You hear him take a drag and you smell before you see the tendrils of gray smoke when he releases and god, the small whiff, even in the tiniest fume, has your shoulder relaxing. 

“I’d offer one but I don’t have any spare with me,” you hear him say before you feel him move, “I’ll get the fallen one for you, if you want.”

You roll your eyes and wave him off before you see him lean against the other column, the change in position means that he’s now closer, closer than he’s ever been since the day you last saw him, years ago. And he’s close enough that the thin material of his shirt brushes against your hoodie when the wind moves. And you want to move too, only if it isn’t for the fact that one move and you’ll either fall into the river or be skewered by the worn down wood and you don’t really feel like dying today. 

Ironic, how you went for a smoke break to relieve the stress of the day, only to have it doubled. 

Now, this is where you make the second mistake. 

Because you really don’t mean to stare at Taehyung. You don’t mean to let your stare at his mouth linger a second too long that he sees.  It’s just unfortunate that the cigarette is in his mouth, and you stay fixated on the damn cigarette that you fail to see him catch your gaze and hold it. 

It’s unfortunate that you don’t take a step back when he takes one step forward. 

It’s unfortunate that you become pliant when his cold fingers softly grip your chin, coaxing your mouth to open and welcome the smoke that he blows from his own mouth, hot and intoxicating and tinged with the memories of all the nights past that he’s done this. 

It’s unfortunate that you take a long drag when he places the soft end of the cigarette from his mouth to yours, unhesitating and eager. 

“Feeling better?” He asks, gentle as he pulls the stick, planting it back to the hold of his mouth. You see a slight upward curve at the corners of it. 

This is bad. Wrong and unacceptable and absolutely inappropriate, you know. But you can’t help but accept when he offers one more drag, an offer of release. This time you pluck it out from his fingers, feel the warmth of him around the smoke, and inhale. 

It’s only when the embers die out that you feel it, the heavy feeling coming back tenfold as you realize the gravity of what you just did. Not for anyone else, but for you. The toll this will have on you when you go home and have all the time in the world to think about your stupidity. So before you get sucked into the void of self-destruction, you excuse yourself, not caring about the delicate drops of rain that fall but not before you turn back and shout your thanks. 

“Okay, you shared a smoke, so what,” you mutter to yourself as you dry yourself off. You’re two people who share a history, a history that’s now dead and gone. A flame that was once bright but has now burned out, never to be rekindled again. 

You enter the building with thoughts of rationalization that tries to justify what you’ve done as something harmless, clouding your mind enough that you don’t see Jimin barrel towards you with a smile on his face, only to be replaced with disgust when he breathes and chokes at the ghost of smoke that clings to your clothes. 

He rummages through a nearby luggage and returns with a bottle of perfume, “If you want your head still attached to your shoulders by tonight, you’d know better and douse yourself in that shit because Hana’s here to take over and you only have two minutes to shove Listerine down your throat before she finds you.” 

In the haste of trying to avert your sister’s wrath, you damn near shower the entire contents of the bottle, only to realize that night when you come home that despite the endless showers you take, you still smell like him. Because of all people, Jimin just had to take from Taehyung’s things and now you’re doused with him all over again. 

It’s later that night that you’ll fall asleep to the smell of jasmine and vanilla despite years of trying so hard to rid your apartment of any scents. 

Of any trace of Kim Taehyung.

The third and fourth mistake, you make five days later. A Friday that you’re miraculously off work early. Well, technically, you can get off whenever you want but as the faithful, loving, and overworking youngest child that you are, you’ve assimilated longer hours at your father’s company to productivity and so you’ve never really found reason to clock off early when you can do so much more if you stay a bit later than most.

Besides, the company won’t run by itself, so there’s that. 

Now, though, you wonder why you thought like that because as you walk down the street, everything looks divine. The setting sun settles on the horizon, sandwiched between two skyscrapers, bleeding purple and orange and pink and it’s breathtaking. Painfully so. For the first time, you indulge yourself in the sounds of the busy city and for a change, it’s peaceful despite the loudness. You can’t remember the last time you took a stroll like this, having been so immersed in work. The last time you walked down the street the like had been years ago, with—

The breath you take is sharp and sudden that it has you bent over on the sidewalk, coughing and wheezing your lungs out that people start to look. You flash a smile, sending a quick thanks to your sister’s ex-lover for choosing to establish the studio within a five-minute walk from the company building, and nearly combusting on the spot when you pull their glass door that clearly says push right after you nearly heave your lungs out from climbing 10 sets of stairs because the elevator isn’t working, coincidentally.  

“Hey,” you greet the people on the lounge before specifically turning to Younha — the one who had walked you through everything on the previous shoot, “Is Hana here? I have the initial photos ready if she wants to see. Played around and edited most of them.”

Younha looks sheepish as she raises her hand to her nape where she nervously scratches, “About that,” she grimaces, “Hana phoned earlier that she’s running a bit late tonight so she told me to look over the photos and pick the final ones with the client, but I don’t trust myself enough to do that just yet, so would it be okay if we go through it together?” 

You assure her it’s okay. And really, it is, because you’ve finished work anyway and it’s a Saturday tomorrow. You can afford to be late an hour or so. You watch her plug the USB on one of the computers lined up against the wall, see her gasp when she pulls up the photos. 

“Oh my god, these are beautiful. You’re telling me you shot each of these by yourself, edited them all on your own, all in less than a week,” Younha turns to you, eyes wide, “Can’t you come and work with us?”

You laugh, genuine and loud, “The raw files were already beautiful untouched. Just touched up some lighting here and there.”

“Yeah, and who took those raw shots, hm? Who coordinated every single thing that resulted in those shots looking like that? You, that’s who,” Younha seems to realize who she’s talking to and she blushes before muttering something else you can’t hear, “Also, about Hana—” 

Uh-oh. This can’t be good.

“—so she told me earlier if I can pick out the final photos with the client, right? And since you’re here,” Younha trails off and you still there is no way, no way that you’re going to sit hours dissecting each photo with Soyeon, worse if it’s Taehyung. You have your pride and you’ll cling to that even if it’s the last thing you do in this world.

No way in hell. “Hana’s on her way here, right? I think she can make it.”

Younha nods, a low hum before she answers, “She can. In two hours. Maybe. Not sure. Our client, however—” She tilts her head to the right. Towards the direction of Hana’s office. “—is here.”

It’s a sigh of defeat you let out. Walking away from here means you admit you’re a coward, walking in Hana’s office will mean you’re weak. See, it’s always a lose-lose thing for you everytime a certain Kim is involved. The very, and only, Kim who seems to be haunting every part of your daily life the past five days. Or in this current case, a future Kim but a Kim nonetheless. 

Younha smiles, the sly fox, when you place your bag back down on the table, “If I’m going to stay here for the night, might as well ask for coffee. Lots and lots of it.”

You only barely get the full sentence out but Younha is already on her heels with a mock salute.

You push the door to Hana’s office, making sure (twice) not to pull this time, and your eyes land on Kim Taehyung whose eyebrows rise in surprise upon seeing you. If he thinks you’re meaning to keep on meeting him like this, well, he’s wrong. The universe likes to spring surprises down your path of life and it just so happens that for now, Kim Taehyung might be its play thing — to torment you with, most probably. 

He sits on the couch that rests against the white wall, beside the windows that occupy the whole one side of the room that overlooks the city. Hana’s office is more like her office and a miniature studio, exclusive for her and whoever she decides to let in here, separate from the lounge and the main studio. It’s an industrial loft, made modern and more suited to her taste and it’s just so goddamn bright in here, you realize.

“Sorry to keep you waiting,” you mutter as the door clicks shut behind you. 

You head straight to Hana’s computer, turning it on and plugging the USB before you plop down on the office chair. “I had the photos with me and I dropped by to leave it for Hana but she apparently has things to attend to for the next two hours and you’re here already so, yeah.”

Taehyung only nods, silent and awkward when he stands. 

You sigh, “Grab a chair and come here, I guess. We have, like, a thousand photos to sift through. See if you’d like any changes done to them. The earlier we finish, the better.”

Three hours pass after that and you’re left with no Hana in sight, 325 file numbers listed down, a faint headache and tired eyes, a hungry stomach, and three accidental brushes of Taehyung’s hair on your cheek because what before is a ruler-long distance between the two of you has been reduced to mere centimeters, and Jesus Christ, you don’t know who moved between the two of you that it has come to such. You’re firm to say it isn’t you because your ass remains frozen, stiff as a board everytime Taehyung does so much as inhale. 

“Can you—” Taehyung clears his throat, pointing to the keyboard, “—move to the next one, please.”

You mutter an apology, pressing the right arrow and you see the photo move. Frankly, you aren’t paying attention. Not to anything, least of all the photos. It’ll be like knocking consciously on Hell’s door if you do pay attention. 

Because you can take being around Taehyung, you can easily detach yourself from reality when you are — and not feel anything, to look at him alone and think of him as an ex-friend, an ex-lover without the rest of the titles attached. But to look at the photos, the pictures you took, there’s no detaching from that reality. The reality that the man you had feelings for — might still have feelings for, but you push that thought back — is getting married, of all things. 

And you list this off as feeling weird, an ex marrying a cousin. You aren’t jealous, god, no. It’s just that — weird. Well, you think. 

“Okay, I can’t take this anymore,” Taehyung breathes and you still, unmoving as the statue on the corner of the room, “I’m going to order Chinese. I’m not going to last the rest of these photos if I don’t eat. Anything you want?” 

He might as well have slammed the mouse he’s holding with the way he casually lets it fall off from his hand to the table, leaning back on his chair and oh god, his head is leaning on the back of your chair. One move of your shoulder and the back of it will touch the side of his head. He has his phone over his head, elbows hanging in the air as he opens his phone with a click. He hums as he scrolls and this is so, so painfully domestic that you struggle to breathe. 

It’s been push and pull the whole night. He asks, you answer, and never the other way. 

Fifteen minutes that you’re plunged in deafening silence and you punch the air in your mind when Younha knocks, take-away bags at hand and a smile on her face. 

Taehyung hands you your food, places the utensils in neat order, pokes the straw through your bubble tea and gently places it in front of you and you stare. You stare because never in your life did you ever think you and Taehyung would ever be in this situation. Toeing around each other, walking on eggshells. 

There had been a time that silence wasn’t an option — it’s either you filled the quiet or he did; mouths off about Pokemon and stickers and dogs he met on a certain day, or silence filled with wordless communication through flesh and skin and heavy breaths. 

Never this — a fragile silence that no words could ever fill. But of course, Taehyung knows how to break that. Break you when he speaks, “I think we’ll have this one framed for the reception.”

You blink at the photo on the monitor, big and taunting. In it, Taehyung smiles, a wide rectangle stretch of his mouth as his chin rests on top of Soyeon’s head, the latter leaning her weight on Taehyung. It’s evident, palpable even, the happiness that’s shared between them. A running joke between the two of them captured on a permanent photograph only they can understand. 

“Yeah,” you nod, a smile, or an attempt at it, stretching your lips, “it’s beautiful. Definitely worthy for the reception. You can hang it in your home after.”

It’s an instinct – you’d like to believe so – when you feel Taehyung move beside you and you mindlessly mirror him, freezing the moment you take in the miniscule space that’s left as you both huddle to look at the monitor. A good couple inches you can count on one hand. And you refuse to move away because no, this is not at all affecting you. And it’s Taehyung, you justify, who’s currently invading your space. 

The third mistake is when you try to steal a glance at the corner of your eye because you think he’s engrossed with the picture. 

But then you see that he isn’t. Not when his stare locks with yours the moment your eyes move.  Had been on you all this time. 

The fourth is when he moves and you don’t. 

Not when his thumb brushes the corner of your mouth to wipe whatever it is he sees there. 

Not when he flashes you a smile – something so fond and warm and tender that renders you mute. 

Not when he succumbs to sleep an hour later, head lolling on your shoulder.

But the entire world moves when he stirs and the overhead lights hit something golden. It crumbles and caves beneath your feet when a locket falls out of the top of his loosely buttoned shirt. An identical locket to the one that now sits heavy on your chest – once heavy with the broken promises, but now empty of the love that first came with it.

You see his forehead wrinkle as he slowly wakes and you feel the start of the burn that first settles on your chest before it moves and starts from the corners of your eyes. You train your eyes on the monitor, fingers clicking away on the mouse and the keyboard faster than ever.

“I’m sorry,” you hear him say. His head stays on your shoulder as he speaks. “What time is it?” 

“Quarter before ten—”

“I missed you,” he breathes and you hear him let out a soft laugh before he whispers, “I always miss you.”

It feels as if all the air in your lungs has been knocked out and you turn to speak when you see that he’s fallen back asleep. And god, you wanted to shout at him, let out the years of pent up frustration and grudge you’ve had all these past years and ask all the unanswered whys and hows. But looking at him now, after so, so long, you realize you do too. 

A tear drops and a multitude of realizations follow. 

You missed him. You missed him. You miss him. 

And fuck, you’re still in love with him, you realize. So much and enough to make you not think of the consequences of the realization that you do.

Not when his fiancée finally comes and places a chaste kiss on his lips.

Not when a wedding invitation lands itself on the desk towards you.

And especially not when the ghost of him lingers when they’re gone and you find yourself praying for it to stay just a little bit longer.

You did not plan for your Friday night to be like this at all. 

The initial – and final – plan was this: show up to the club your sister wanted you to show up to, make it look like you’re genuinely happy to be there, flee the moment midnight hits when your sister and her friends are too drunk to realize you aren’t there anymore, and sleep away in the solace your tranquil and quiet apartment offers. 

The night and plan had been going well, much to your delight. 

Just until the fleeing part, that is. Because the moment you press the unlock button to your car half past one in the morning, you see a very drunk Kim Taehyung eagle spread on the hood of your car, with only a rumpled halfway-buttoned shirt that’s tucked into his pants, one of his shoes already on the roof of the Mercedes. 

And so instead of proceeding to the sleeping part of your plan, here you are now, struggling under the weight of Taehyung as you try to push in all his limbs in the passenger seat because he refuses to go away. Why, of all people, must you be the one to find him like this? Other people would’ve paid no mind leaving him on the pavement but of course, the universe had to make sure it just had to be you because old, cruel fate had it out for you and your demise.

Two weeks spent in isolation from the rest of the world in an attempt to justify and get over the realization you had of still being in love with an ex and the world just dumps him in the hood of your car of all cars. 

“Kim Taehyung, I am not above violence, I will fucking knock you out if I have to if you step your foot out and kick me once more, for the love of god,” you heave, “Are you with Jimin?”

At this, he grins and nods, eyes half-closed, “Jimin went home. I think. Or wait, maybe he’s passed out in Yoongi’s tub. I think. I don’t know, do you think he’s still here? Wait, do you know Jimin? How do you know Jimin?” 

You sigh, “Give me your phone. I’ll get Soyeon to pick your ass up.”

Taehyung lets out a loud gasp, proceeds to choke on air before he looks up at you, “How do you know my girlfriend?” 

You pause for a second before rolling your eyes, “Phone.”

“It’s in my left pocket, can you get it for me? I’m so tired,” he whines, wincing as his head lands on the head rest. You reach over to pull his phone out, only to retrieve a pack of cigarettes but no phone. You freeze when his hand grips your wrist that’s still in his pocket, feeling your heartbeat in your ears when he leans forward, so close that you feel his breath on your cheek, “Butt pocket, sorry.” 

You take a deep breath as he continues to look at you with a grin. You move closer, angling your head away because you would be fucking cheek-to-cheek if you don’t and you pause just before you touch his back pocket, “No, you know what, you can get it yourself. Either that or I leave you out here on the streets.” 

Taehyung pouts but he moves his arm behind him nonetheless, proceeds to feel his other pocket when he finds the first one empty.

“My phone’s gone,” he huffs, “Oh! It’s in Minnie’s car!”

You let out a loud groan, rounding the car to open the driver’s side to look for your bag so you could use your phone and you let out another sound of frustration, louder this time, when you remember the picture of a beige bag being left underneath your couch’s pillow. You look over at Taehyung, a war in your head as to what to do with him, before you finally settle on the choice that you never, ever think you would’ve made. 

“Fine,” you grit as you turn the engine on, “I’m going to drop you off your house but I’m not gonna be held accountable for the reasons you’re going to have to explain to your girlfriend if she greets your drunk ass as to why the fuck her cousin’s dropping her fiance off, alright? Now, are you still staying in the same apartment ‘cause I’m going to drop you–”

Taehyung snores, body folding in on himself as he slightly shivers. You sigh, dropping your forehead on the steering wheel, enough to hurt and make the horn whine, “This is fucking unbelievable. I can’t believe I’m doing this.”

“Hey, Taehyung,” you shake him, poking his shoulders the way you know he hates, “Wake up and tell me your address, asshole. I’m not driving to the other side of the city only to find out you changed address. Hey.” 

He makes the tiniest wave of his arm before he goes back to sleep. 

You glance at the clock that says it’s now nearing three in the morning and you run your hands over your face because fuck this. 

Now, you head to your apartment with the plan of just dumping Taehyung in the foyer and letting him sleep there until he has his mind back in the morning – you figure he’d probably run off the minute he wakes up. 

“Hey, wake up.” You nudge him when you arrive and you sigh once more as he merely stirs, opening his side of the door before attempting to move out of the car only to heave when the seatbelt he still has on pulls him back.

With a grimace, you round to his side and lug one of his arms around your shoulders and basically carry all of his weight towards the elevator. You give a tight smile to the staff at the reception as you pass by, dismissing the offer of help. You nearly drop to your knees as soon as the elevator doors close, exhaustion flooding you all of a sudden. 

As soon as the door opens to the penthouse, you remove your hold on Taehyung and he slumps against the wall. You let out a breath before pushing him to one of the guest rooms where he immediately plops down on the bed after knocking his shoes off.  A small smile plants itself on your face and you reach over to pull the covers over him. 

Kneeling down on the floor beside the bed, you brush off the loose hairs that cover his face and you whisper, “You’re making it so hard for me.”

Deciding that you’ve helped him enough, you head to your room to change and shower – a long bout of internal battle against yourself as you try to wash off all that happened. 

It is an hour later when you’re already in your bed, tossing and turning that you find yourself a long way from sleep, and so you push the covers off of you to head towards the kitchen to find something to drink. The sun is starting to rise, you see, as you stare at the large windows, uneasy at the thought that Taehyung is there. Here. 

And you know you shouldn’t care anymore. You’ve done enough and beyond to help him, you remind yourself. But that doesn’t matter, really, because here you are, pushing the guest room open to check on him, a bottle of water in hand. He remains as he was the second he got here and you sigh as you pull one of Jungkook’s shirt and sweatpants from the cabinet, a spare he leaves in the case he unintentionally sleeps over, and you walk towards Taehyung before slowly shaking him awake. 

“Hey,” you speak softly as his eyes crack open, mind still swimming in alcohol, “you should change into this. Your clothes must be uncomfortable to sleep in. Here’s some water too.” 

His eyes open a little bit wider, voice hoarse when he speaks, “(Y/N)?” 

You swallow, “Yeah, it’s me.” 

“I can’t remember most of tonight, how did I—”

You smile, “And you probably won’t remember all of this when you sleep once more. Just change and drink this, Taehyung.”

A part of why you’re doing all the things you’re doing is the fact that you know he will forget this. 

He sits up, swaying as he does so, twisting the water open. You greet him good night, and just as you turn to head back to sleep, his hand dart out to grip your wrist – as tight as the grip that has your heart beating so loud in your chest as he does, “I’m sorry.” 

Without turning around, you answer, “You don’t have to be. I would’ve done the same for anyone else.” 

“No, you wouldn’t have.” 

Pressing your tongue against your cheek, you rip your arm away from his hold, now turning around to face him. He slowly stands, eyes trained on you. You open your mouth to speak but he beats you to it, “I’m not saying sorry just because of tonight,” he speaks quietly, “This is an apology that’s long overdue. An apology I never had the courage to give you. An apology that I owe you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for being the coward that walked away without an explanation. For not being the person I promised you I would be.”

“I told you,” you say through gritted teeth, “You don’t owe me an apology, Taehyung. It’s over and done with. Apologizing to me would mean that there’s still loose ends between us, and I’m telling you that there’s none. You may have burnt those ends the moment you walked away and I have burned mine in the years that followed. You don’t owe me anything.”

He’s closer now, so close that you feel yourself getting overwhelmed by the smell of alcohol and his perfume. “Then why are you still wearing this?” 

You feel all the walls come down, then, when his fingers trace the golden chain of the locket. The once emblem of young and promised love, of an oath, of Kim Taehyung. The necklace that never was once removed from you since then. 

You chuckle, bitter and harsh, “You’re still wearing it too, Kim.”

You flinch as you feel the pad of his thumb wipe away at the trail of tears that has somehow escaped, “Leaving you was the only choice I had then. It killed me to walk right out of that fucking door but it was the only choice. For you, for me, for us. Even if it meant me becoming the asshole, it was the only choice.” 

“Don’t feed me that bullshit, you left me. And in my vocabulary and everyone else’s, leaving the person you claim to love without a single explanation is a shit move,” you nearly damn snarled, “I could’ve accepted you telling me you didn’t love me anymore but you fucking walked out without a single word. Well, I guess it worked out great for you, huh? You’re getting married now.” 

“I did l—”

“Don’t fucking dare say it,” you sob, feeling all the energy draining out of you in a second, “You’re four years too late, Taehyung.”

The chains that hold all the hurt and grievance of the past four years had been unlocked and with the thought of Taehyung not being able to remember this tomorrow, you let it all out. 

“I lied,” you whisper, lips and chest shaking as you breathe, “It hurts me seeing you now. So fucking much. Because you never wanted to get married. I remember when we were together you said that we could live without the titles, the labels, and the technicalities of it all, because you’d love me the same. So yes, it hurts. I can’t deny that it does when the things you didn’t want with me, things I wanted to have with you, you learned to want with someone else. Shit like this hurts because even if I was okay without all the titles, I thought then that spending a lifetime with you wouldn’t be so bad. But you made it seem like you never wanted marriage, not with anyone ever and so I accepted it, content even with just being with you.”

“But then you show up like this,” you say so quietly you don’t know if he can hear it, “You can’t expect it not to hurt, Tae, because it does. So, so much.”

“I’m sorry,” Taehyung lightly rests his forehead on yours, “I’m so sorry.”

“Answer me this one question,” you look up at him, “Please.” 

You feel him nod, “Anything.”

You feel it again, the suffocating claws that grips around your chest, the pain of unanswered questions and doubts, “Was my love not enough for you?”

You feel it before you hear it, when he nods against your head, hands coming up to hold your cheeks, “No, no, god, no. It was more than enough. It was so much more than enough that you became someone who didn’t deserve someone who couldn’t reciprocate the amount of love you were giving me. I’m sorry.”

“I miss you, Tae.” You whisper, and you can barely see him through the tears, “And it’s so, so wrong and I shouldn’t be doing this but fuck, I do. Four years and I still miss you and now you’re here, back in my life, and yet you’re still the farthest you’ve ever been from me.”

Maybe it’s the realization that he is – so far away from you and will never be close enough anymore – that you think maybe this is the long-awaited end. The closure you’ve once longed for but never had. Maybe there really was no reason for him leaving you beyond the fact that he didn’t love you anymore – and maybe that was enough reason. You just didn’t want to accept that fact. Maybe it’s time that you do. 

After Taehyung, you’ve become someone who believed that love is something that’s easy to let go, when in fact, all this time, it is the love you had for Taehyung you’ve never let go of. And maybe, it was never love for the people that came after him and so it became easy for you once it’s over, once it ended. Because what has started that really counted has never reached its end, for you anyway. Because it will never be the same. 

Because they weren’t Kim Taehyung. 

“Don’t cry for me. I don’t deserve it,” he smiles a small smile as he wipes a tear away. 

“Then stop making me cry, asshole,” you softly retort, hands coming up to wrap around his own to pull them away from your face. You can’t think straight when he has his hands on you, “I’m not asking for you to love me again, not anymore. Maybe we could be friends?”

It’s a weak attempt at humor, you know. And you really don’t think you can be just friends with Taehyung. But you’re weak for Kim Taehyung and you’re still so fucking in love him that you’d settle for whatever there can be between the two of you. He doesn’t need to know the specifics.

“Can we, really?” He laughs softly, a sad smile appearing, “I’m about to do something very stupid, for the very last time, so please, stop me if you don’t want to because I don’t think I can stop myself.”

He leans forward as the inches between you decrease down to a zero, his lips pressing against your cheek, your forehead, your eyelid, and to the corner of your mouth before he pulls away. “No, you had something to drink too, I’m drunk, you’re drunk. I’m sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking, ” Taehyung breathes against your cheek, eyes shut tight. 

“I’m not.” 

Whether that’s an answer that refutes your state of intoxication or a statement that debunks Taehyung’s apology, you don’t know. Because the next moment finds you pulling him forward, arms snaking around his shoulders as you kiss him. Soft and unhurried and sad – a declaration of what had remained unsaid for the past years. 

The last time, you swear, and from tomorrow then on, you’re going to be friends. This night will be void – forgotten and discarded. Taehyung is going to continue with his life and you with yours. 

It’s so easy to become so lost in Taehyung that you forget the rest of the world. 

That you don’t hear the sound of the door opening. 

Or the second set of drunk footsteps that follows the first one.

“What in the fuck is going on here?”

[eoieopda]

reckless serenade (kth)

i’ve been trying to figure out exactly what it is i need // called up to listen to the voice of reason // and got the answering machine

Pairing: Kim Taehyung x Fem!Reader Type: One-Shot - Sequel to The Bad Thing drabble. Summary: Your husband hasn’t looked at you in months, but his co-worker, Kim Taehyung, can’t take his eyes off you. Word Count: 4K, with 2K+ being smut, lmao. Content: SMUT - 18+; Taehyung's POV; infidelity; reader's husband really is just The Worst; oral sex (m and f receiving); multiple orgasms; face-sitting; penetrative sex (p in v); tbh it doesn't explicitly state whether it's protected or unprotected sex, so??; moral quandaries; Taehyung gets his own fucking warning tbh. A/N: This Taehyung is back by popular demand. This picks up where the drabble left off, so go read that if you haven’t! Actual note and tags are at the end :)

You’d returned to the table separately, several minutes apart, to quell suspicion.

As it turned out, the subtlety hadn’t been unnecessary. Nobody batted an eye when Taehyung sat down after a prolonged absence; and, as expected, your husband’s lecherous gaze hadn’t left the waitress long enough to find you missing. So, when you’d slid back into the seat at Taehyung’s side, no one knew your dirty little secret.

Secrets. Plural.

Park Ji-won might never know that you’d just orgasmed thrice, only a few meters away behind an unlocked door. Or that Taehyung’s orgasm was still lingering where he left it, staining the inside of your little lace panties. Or that the wedding ring he’d bought for his pretty, young bride was still in Taehyung’s pocket, rolling between the fingers that now knew you inside and out.

Definitely not that you’d left that ring in Taehyung’s possession with the promise of retrieving it after dinner — if you even wanted that tacky thing back in the first place.

When the bill came, Taehyung’s co-workers — your husband included — whined like petulant fucking children that the twelve bottles of liquor they’d consumed were fully accounted for. Out of habit, Taehyung glowered and turned to see how you were reacting, only to find that you’d done the same.

There was a wry smile tugging at your lips when you whispered, “Well, well, well… if it isn’t the consequences of their own actions.”

He’d snorted into his glass of water, watched his life flash before his eyes, and — thankfully — managed to swallow down his laughter before he could choke on it.

Is this the personality your husband misses out on, listening to everyone but you?

Taehyung, keeper of the company’s black card, bowed to the waitress as he handed it over. She’d smiled at him — the first genuine one he’d seen from her all night — and scurried off to close out what had likely been one of the worst shifts of her life thus far.

Normally, he’d feel the same: eager to leave and get the fuck away from the ghouls he already spent too much time with. So annoyed by their lack of manners and restraint that his rage would carry him out the door, to his car, and home again without either foot seeming to come in contact with the ground. He’d levitate this time, too, but for different reasons.

Instead, Taehyung flew home on thoughts of you. He’d replayed the way you shivered when he pulled your chair out for you and helped you into your coat. Like a rose petal in his palm, so fucking delicate, he’d carried the memory of your hand bumping innocently against his on his way out the door. And as he drove, he thought of what you’d said under your breath.

Am I a consequence of your husband’s actions, too?

Taehyung has been home for two hours now, and he still doesn’t know what the fuck to do with himself. 

He doesn’t bother turning on the television; he’d never be able to focus on whatever would end up flashing across the screen. He doesn’t pick up one of the many books in that untouched, yet ever-growing pile on his coffee table. His gaze keeps flicking hopefully towards his front door, as if staring at it with intention will manifest you on the other side. 

What if you changed your mind? What if you'd been caught out? What the hell was Taehyung supposed to do with your wedding ring if you never came back for it? 

Fuck. Shit! Motherfu— 

His catastrophizing is cut short by a quiet knock on the door. Three shy taps in quick succession, they mirror the way Taehyung’s heart is thudding against his rib cage. He ignores the anticipation turning cartwheels in his stomach as he pushes himself off the couch and makes his way to you. 

Even though you’d announced your intentions earlier, Taehyung is still semi-shocked when he opens the door and sees you standing on his doorstep. The look in your eyes tells him that you’re surprised, too. At yourself, maybe, for following this rabbit hole down to the bottom. Or at him, because he hadn’t used any of the past two hours to change from his suit into something less stuffy. 

You did change, he notes immediately. You’ve traded in your dress and stilettos for active wear; and Taehyung really might die now, jealous of leggings that smooth over your curves like water. It’s the comfort that really has him fucked up, though. The hair in a loose knot on top of your head, the barely-there stain of pink on your lips now that your lipstick has been discarded. 

“There you are,” He hums with a tilt of his head. There on his doorstep; there in real time; there in what he can guess is your usual state. Fucking perfect. “Wasn’t sure if you changed your mind.” 

You cross your arms, shifting your weight from one foot to the other, and tilt your head just the same. “I didn't,” you breeze, “I was conducting an endurance test.” 

“Oh?” Taehyung chuckles softly, “Do tell.” 

“I wanted to see how long I could tolerate sitting home, alone, without even a texted excuse – and without going out of my mind.” 

“Two hours? Impressive.” 

“Forty-five minutes,” You correct him, eyes twinkling, “I just got really, really lost on my way here.” 

“Even more impressive.” Taehyung grins as he opens the door and steps aside to invite you in.  

You slink through the gap; and he can’t tell if the way you brush against him is intentional or not. Then, you toe off your sneakers and leave them on the mat next to the door. You look up at him, but he’s still looking at your shoes.  

Plausible deniability, he realizes. Just in case tonight is the first night that your husband cares where you are — out on a run. 

Taehyung pushes the thought away, tears his gaze off of those Nikes, and refocuses on you. Ignoring the million things he wants to do to you, he nods up the hall to his kitchen. “Care for a drink? I’ve got an incredible bottle of Bordeaux from Pomerol.” 

“Just one bottle?” Your tiny smirk weakens his resolve even further. If he didn't love these little exchanges so much, he'd be worshipping you by now. “Not twelve?” 

The most perplexing thing about you isn’t how quick-witted you are. Taehyung’s seen it in every conversation he’s ever had with you; and he waits patiently for it, every time. The twist is how subtle you are with your little quips. Perfectly understated, they’ll fly right under the radar of anyone who doesn’t expect them.  

Does your husband even know to look?

He leads and you follow until you’re both standing in his kitchen. You take in your surroundings while you nibble thoughtfully on your bottom lip. Taehyung digs through a poorly organized drawer for a corkscrew he’s not sure he even owns.

Now, he’s nervous. This is the part where you find out he’s not a wine guy. He spent every step here praying that you wouldn’t ask him a single question about that Bordeaux because he couldn’t tell you a goddamn thing about it — except that it was a gift from a client, and that he hadn’t opened it because he prefers beer. 

You, on the other hand, enjoy wine. If you do end up drinking at the firm events you attend, that’s what you choose. While your husband is off somewhere, drowning in hard liquor, Taehyung is laughing with you and your glass at a table. When the night’s over, he replays the sight of your tongue darting out over your lips, collecting the excess maroon that lingers when you pull your glass away. 

Taehyung can’t point out Pomerol on a map and, as it turns out, he can barely operate a wine-opener. Thankfully, you have your back turned and your eyes fixed on the wall calendar full of shit he intends to blow off. You don’t glance back at him until, with a pop, he finally yanks the mangled cork from the bottle’s neck. 

Before he can turn to the counter and grab two wine glasses from the rack hanging overhead, you’re already on task. On tiptoe, reaching up, up, up, you let out a frustrated whine when you still come up short. On instinct, Taehyung steps into the space behind you. You lean back against him while he secures one glass in each hand; he feels the heat radiating off your body and nearly drops them.

Not that he would mind.

It’s so hard to give a shit about this wine with the curve of your ass so near to his dick, but he’s a better host than he is a co-worker, so he slips away to pour you a drink. Once he’s finished, he holds yours out to you.

If he were drunk by now, he could’ve blamed it on the alcohol, but he swears there’s a faint crackle of electricity when your fingertips brush against his. 

You close your eyes and inhale through your nose. “Mmm,” you hum appreciatively, eyes re-opening to blink up at him, “Smells incredible, doesn’t it?” 

Taehyung has no fucking clue because he forgot to fill a glass for himself. He doesn’t care if you notice, either; he’s too transfixed by the sight of your lips parting as you bring your glass to your mouth. You take that burgundy in, the column of your throat bobs as you swallow, and he’s waiting for it – waiting for it – waiting for it... 

It’s such an innocent action, the tip of your tongue swiping over your lip, but it sets off something primal in him.  

Bordering on feral, Taehyung sets his still-empty glass back on the granite surface of the island and takes four, wide steps to you. A little gasp tumbles out when his hands claim your waist, but it isn’t surprise. Pupils suddenly blown wide, it’s want that prompts you to discard your drink beside his and tangle both hands in his hair. 

Though he’s wanted to for years, this is the first time Taehyung has ever kissed you. It’s carnal. You kiss him back, and it’s all clicking teeth, whimpers, and desperate, clinging fingers. Insatiable, too, and it tastes like fancy French wine.  

You’re starving for it, he knows, and you whine when his tongue leaves yours lonely. That pout could convince him, without a word, to rob a bank at gunpoint.

Who the fuck would leave you home alone? 

“Angel,” Taehyung pants, locking eyes with you. He runs the pad of his thumb over your flushed cheek and feels the way you shiver. “I’m not above fucking you in this kitchen, but after fucking you in a public restroom, I think you’ve earned a bit more comfort than that.”

“Oh, fuck – just like that, angel. Shit!"

You’re on your knees between his spread legs with his throbbing length down your throat and your hair flicked over your shoulder. It’d all spilled from your top-knot a while ago, and Taehyung remains thankful for the shitty construction of that elastic band. Now, he has some part of you to hold while the rest of your body is out of reach.  

Every instinct is telling Taehyung to throw his head back against the pillow – with his eyes screwed shut and his mouth hanging open – but then he’d miss the way you keep looking up at him under dark eyelashes. Wet eyes blink as your ravenous mouth works magic, and goddamn, this talent has been going to waste for years. 

If he lets your ministrations continue, he’ll be dead long before he can pay you back – with interest. Buried before he can thank you properly for your service with his face between your thighs. So, Taehyung swallows hard, cards his fingers through your hair, and gently guides you off of him. 

He’s committed a lot of sins in the past six hours, but interrupting your medal-worthy exhibition feels like the worst of them. 

Your voice is a bit hoarse from how much of him you’d taken and how’d deeply you taken him. Wiping at the spit that slicks your chin, you look self-conscious when you rasp, “Is something wrong?” 

“No,” Taehyung shakes his head firmly though most – definitely not all – of him feels like gelatin. “Fuck no, sweets. That’s why I have to stop you.” 

Sitting back on your knees, you pout, and he melts. He’s already spent too much time wondering how your husband can leave you on the sidelines – but that was before Taehyung knew what face you make when you don’t get your way.  

Goodbye world, he thinks. He’ll never get out of this bed as long as you’re in it.

He beckons you with a curl of his finger, wholly unprepared for the ramifications of his decision to do so. Now, you’re straddling him, hovering overhead with your face mere centimeters away from his. You lean in when he cradles your jaw in his hand. So sweet, you smile a little when you feel the tickle of his breath warm your lips. 

“Ride me.”

Taehyung can’t help himself; he’s nearly pleading. You smirk and move your hand down towards the cock leaking all over his stomach. He reaches out, taps under your chin, and stops you in your tracks. You burn pink when he clarifies, “Not there.” 

This idea has you frozen in place. Worse, there’s a speck of anxiety blooming in your eyes; and Taehyung doesn’t have to guess why. He’ll add this to the infinite list of ways Park Ji-won has fucking failed you. 

Taehyung was already propped up on his elbow, but now he sits up fully to meet you where you are. “Hey,” he murmurs, stroking his thumb over your chin before kissing you, “Only if it’s what you want. For what it’s worth –”  

Fuck, you look so shy.

He kisses you again. “I want you to fuck yourself on my tongue –” And again. “Until you’ve taken back every orgasm –” Another kiss, and you whimper, “You’ve been deprived of.” 

When Taehyung’s eyes flicker back to yours, there’s a new sense of determination burning in your irises. Even better, there’s a brief twitch in your jaw as you place your palm against his bare chest and push him back down against the mattress.

You’re a force of nature every day of the week, but as you crawl over him, it’s the most powerful he’s ever seen you look. 

Your hands take hold of the headboard as you lower yourself down towards his mouth, which is already watering at the mere thought of tasting you. Pausing with your slick center just out of his reach, you glance down at Taehyung. He tilts his head to the side, nips playfully at your inner thigh, then soothes the sting with a slow swipe from his tongue. 

He doesn’t say a word, but you hear him, nonetheless. Keep going. You do, and you both groan when his mouth meets your cunt.

Finally.

Tongue teasing at your clit, Taehyung’s hands on your thighs pull you down harder. He refuses to accept the shyness keeping distance between you. No, he demands your full weight; all of you.  

Angel that you are, you acquiesce and grant permission for him to devour you fully. Taehyung can’t hear you keening over the suckling, slurping, and panting, but he can feel it in the way your thigh muscles clench around his head. 

His name rings out clear as a bell, though, right before your whole body begins to shake. 

“F-fuck!” You squeak, crumpling forward.  

Taehyung suspects that your orgasm is too heavy to face sitting upright, but whatever the reason is, it’s bringing your fluttering cunt closer and closer to him; and he has no plans to stop at one. Spit-slicked and gushing over his mouth, the way you begin to grind against him says that you aren’t tapping out, either. 

It’s a start, but he wants more from you. To coax it out, Taehyung pushes his fingertips deeper into the flesh of your legs and pleads with you to give him everything you have. You listen – so fucking well – and drop one hand from the headboard to grip his hair.

Yes, he screams inside his head. Use me, angel, just like that. And you do, rolling your hips against his mouth, tugging at his curls until he feels that incredible sting at his roots. 

You come a second time with his tongue darting inside your hole, nose brushing against your clit. Insatiable, both of you, he forces out a third before those aftershocks can even subside. 

Taehyung gasps for air when you wriggle away from him. You’re equally out-of-breath when you collapse sideways onto the bed and rest your trembling body against his. When he turns his head to look over at you, he expects to find you with your eyes closed, fully spent. Instead, despite your fluttering eyelids, you stare right back at him. 

The way your fingertip traces soft spirals across his chest has his brain spinning, too. For reasons he can’t explain, that delicate touch feels infinitely more intimate than the million ways he’s touched you over the course of the night. It’s the most at-peace he’s felt, too, but you throw a curveball to keep him on his toes. 

“Not tired already, are you?” You tease with a devilish grin before placing a kiss on his bicep. When he laughs incredulously at you – you minx – you keep those little kisses coming until they're trailing up the curve of his shoulder. 

Taehyung is a firm believer in showing, not simply telling. Catching you completely off-guard, he rolls over until you’re pinned beneath him, head caged between his arms. Your surprise left you in a gasp, but the shock has already given way when he ducks down to nibble at the side of your neck.

You moan when he nips at your earlobe; you miss the way he smirks against your skin because your eyes have fluttered shut again. Who's tired now? He growls low from his chest to recapture your attention, “How do you want it, beautiful?” 

Everywhere, all the time, like I do? 

Taehyung suckles at a spot below your jaw, and he doesn’t give a fuck if your husband finds his calling card. You don’t either, it seems; you whimper and roll your head to the side to increase his access. 

You keen as you place your hands on his shoulder and dig your nails into his skin, “Dealer’s choice, just – please fuck me.” It sounds close enough to a cry when you continue, “I need you inside of me – now.” 

How could he ever say no when you beg like that? 

Your poor thighs have been through enough, so Taehyung keeps you where you are: nestled underneath him with your heaving chest brushing against his with every breath. You spread your legs to create space for him, then cross your ankles behind his back when you feel his tip tease at your entrance. 

He has to fight to keep his eyes open when he enters you; unwilling to miss a second of the way your mouth falls open, even though you’re too vexed to audibly moan. He’s not – not yet, anyway – and he can't keep quiet when your wet heat envelops him.  

Slowly to start, Taehyung grinds against you, pushing his cock further into your cunt until he’s buried to the hilt.  “Holy shit,” he grunts.

You’re dripping. There are rivulets of you spilling over his length, coating him all the way down. Still, your walls grip him tightly enough to dot stars behind his eyelids. Squeezing, daring him to move but fighting him as he tries to leave. You’ll milk him dry, sooner rather than later.

“I’ll never get over this – could fuck you every day, and it wouldn’t be enough.” 

Whimpers spill out of you as he continues to rut against you, stretch you open for him. Your nails dig half-moons into his arms, and they sting, but Taehyung wants every single souvenir you’re willing to give him. He’d archive every touch if he could; play every mewl of yours on a loop, and savor the way it feels when you orgasm around his cock. 

“So, don’t stop,” You pant, gripping his jaw and pulling him close enough to kiss. Against his lips, you repeat your demand, “Don’t ever stop.” 

Taehyung is still trying to determine which version of you has him most fucked in the head.

He thought it was you and your little, black dress and heels. The version of you that followed the man who took your wedding ring into a public restroom; fucked him; and then left without your ring.

Then, he met the version of you that dresses down for clandestine, extra-marital dick appointments. A dark horse, certainly, but then there's the one who wore nothing at all; who shook, and cried, and came all over his face.

The best thing, he realizes, came last.

It's you in his crewneck, towel-drying your hair in his bathroom while he brushes his teeth. You, saying you'll stay – just this once – because you know for a fact that your husband never came home. You with your chin resting on his chest as your sleepy gaze struggles to focus on him.

Taehyung had figured that you were too tired to speak, so you startle him with your voice; even more so with the deep frown working its way over your face. With how much you shrink when you say, "I think I'm a bad person."

"Why, because you're here?"

You nod. His heart drops, though not because he didn't expect this. Rubbing gentle circles into your back, Taehyung inhales, deep in thought. There's a lot he wants to say, but significantly less that he can even begin to articulate. He can't say the quiet part out loud, even though it's screaming through his skull.

Maybe if your husband was a good person, you wouldn't be where you are right now. Maybe if he loved you, he would be home to notice that you weren't.

He tries his best, sighing, "I think people are a lot more complicated than that."

This thought catches your attention. Your chin digs into him slightly as you tilt your curious head to the side. Cute.

He continues, "I think we're given a hand of cards – some of them great, most of them shitty – and we do our best to play them well. You know, to the extent that we can."

"Do you really believe that, or are you trying to make me feel better?" You smirk, playfully tugging at the waistband of his boxers.

Taehyung exhales forcefully through his nose and tucks a runaway strand of damp hair behind your ear, "Does it matter?"

tagging: @borahae-k @i-purple-buff-bunni @pamzn @myimaginationsrunningwild @nonbinary-demonbrat @mgthecat @btschimeyplanet @jihopesjoint @jaejoontrashpanda @taebaelove @cyanide-mustard @xjoonchildx @jkoofier (couldn't tag) @bbyorchid (couldn't tag) @persphonesorchid @sncx3 @hersheytheekiss (couldn't tag) @iammisstora @quarter-life-crisis2 @here2bbtstrash @dvalitaes @1dsn @iadelicacy

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likes are always appreciated, but it's feedback that means the most — whether that's in a comment below, PM, reblog, tags, etc. tysm for reading ✨

A/N: So, by now, you've noticed that the original drabble and this fic are both in Tae's POV. I did not want to tell the reader how to feel about this. I wanted it to be as open-to-interpretation as possible, and I really, really, really wanna know what y'all think about the thing I didn't clarify: Do you think (1) they actually have feelings for each other; (2) Taehyung loves the idea of her and feels like he's "saving" her; (3) Reader just wants to be wanted, for once; or (4) it's a combination of things? HMMMM.

[keehomania]

teach me (가르쳐줘) — kim taehyung (김태형)

✧.* 18+

in a world where wealth often dictated worth, knowledge was your key to navigating the labyrinth of societal expectations and ambitions. your university was a microcosm of this world—an elite institution where the corridors were lined with the whispers of inherited fortunes and the echoes of legacies. the ornate hallways, adorned with grand portraits of alumni who now ruled industries and nations, seemed to breathe with an air of superiority, as if money alone had the power to shape destinies.

yet, amidst the polished marble floors and crystal chandeliers, you knew that the true power lay in knowledge. money could buy access, but it couldn’t purchase wisdom or the relentless drive to understand the world in its myriad complexities. that belief was your anchor, keeping you grounded as you moved through the shadows of privilege and pretense.

the midterms were a pivotal moment, the culmination of weeks of preparation and anticipation. the classroom buzzed with a mix of anxiety and determination, students fidgeting in their seats as they awaited the start of the exam. the professor, a stern figure whose reputation for rigor was well known, stood at the front of the room, surveying the gathered students with a critical eye.

“ladies and gentlemen,” he began, his voice slicing through the murmur of conversations, “today’s midterm will account for sixty percent of your final grade. this is your opportunity to demonstrate not just your understanding of the material, but your ability to apply it under pressure. i expect nothing but your best effort.”

he paused, letting the weight of his words sink in. “the rules are simple: no talking, no electronic devices, and no looking at your neighbor's paper. any violation will result in an immediate failure. you have two hours to complete the exam. good luck.” with that, he began to pass around the sheets of paper, the crisp sound of pages being distributed echoing through the room. you took a deep breath, feeling the familiar flutter of nerves in your stomach. it was your domain, your battlefield. the stacks of notes, late-night study sessions, and countless hours spent in the library had all led to this moment.

as you glanced to your right, you saw your friend. jimin gave you a knowing smile and a thumbs up, his confidence in you a silent reassurance. you returned the gesture, grateful for his unwavering support. he had always been a source of encouragement, his cheerful demeanor and kind heart a comforting presence amidst the cutthroat competition. you had spent most of your life being his friend, you had grown up together.

to your other side, however, sat kim taehyung. his posture exuded an effortless arrogance, a king holding court among his loyal subjects. he laughed with his friends, seemingly indifferent to the gravity of the situation. you recognized a few of them—jungkook, with his athletic build and easy charm, and hoseok, whose bright smile belied a sharp intellect. the rest were a blur of designer clothes and privileged backgrounds. you couldn’t help but scoff quietly, turning your attention back to the exam in front of you. taehyung’s nonchalance was infuriating, a stark contrast to the dedication you poured into your studies. but today, you would show that hard work and intellect trumped arrogance and entitlement.

the first question stared back at you from the paper, a complex equation that required not just rote memorization but a deep understanding of the underlying principles. you picked up your pen, the familiar weight a comforting anchor, and began to write. the numbers and symbols flowed from your mind to the page with practiced ease. you broke down the equation methodically, each step a testament to your meticulous preparation. the anxiety that had gripped you earlier faded, replaced by a focused calm. it was your element, where your true strength shone.

question after question, you navigated through the intricacies of calculus, the nuances of economic theory, and the subtleties of advanced physics. each problem was a puzzle, and you relished the challenge of piecing together the solutions. your pen moved swiftly, leaving behind a trail of precise calculations and thoughtful analysis.

as the minutes ticked by, you occasionally glanced around the room. jimin was hunched over his paper, his brow furrowed in concentration. taehyung, on the other hand, seemed to be struggling. his earlier bravado had evaporated, replaced by a look of frustration as he scribbled haphazardly, his confidence cracking under the pressure. you allowed yourself a brief moment of satisfaction before refocusing on your own work. it was your time to shine, and nothing would distract you from achieving your goal.

the final question was a long-form essay, asking you to analyze a complex scenario and propose a comprehensive solution. you paused for a moment, gathering your thoughts, before diving in. your fingers flew across the paper, articulating your ideas with clarity and precision. you drew upon everything you had learned, weaving together concepts and theories into a cohesive argument.

the room was silent except for the sound of pens scratching against paper and the occasional rustle of pages. time seemed to stretch and compress, a fluid continuum that you were both acutely aware of and blissfully oblivious to. you lost yourself in the flow of knowledge, each answer a piece of your intellectual tapestry.

when the professor finally called for the papers to be handed in, you leaned back in your chair, a sense of accomplishment washing over you. you had given it your all, leaving nothing to chance. as you gathered your belongings, you caught jimin’s eye once more. he smiled, and you knew he shared in your sense of triumph. taehyung, however, looked defeated. the swagger was gone, replaced by a quiet resignation. his friends patted him on the back, offering empty reassurances, but you could see the doubt in his eyes. for the first time, the golden boy of the university had encountered a challenge he couldn’t charm his way through.

the hallways were still bustling with the residual energy of the midterms as you made your way to your locker. students exchanged their thoughts on the exam, some expressing relief, others despair. the echo of footsteps and the dull hum of conversations filled the space, but your mind was serene, buoyed by the confidence of a job well done.

jimin was right beside you, his ever-present smile a beacon of positivity. “so, how do you think you did?” he asked, though his eyes twinkled with the certainty that you had aced it. you smiled back at him, the sense of accomplishment still fresh. “i think I did well. i felt pretty confident about most of the questions. how about you?”

he nodded, his smile widening. “it’s my realm of knowledge too, remember? i think i did pretty well.” before your conversation could continue, you both turned to see jieun walking towards you. her eyes were fixed on jimin, a mixture of affection and relief in her gaze. she was infatuated with him, a fact that was evident in every glance and touch. yet, beneath that infatuation was a simmering dislike for you. as jimin’s best friend, you were a constant presence in his life, and jieun was a firm believer that boys and girls couldn’t be just friends. but it was hard to hold her animosity against her. jieun’s jealousy was expressed in the cutest, most endearing ways, making it impossible to truly dislike her. she was adorable in her insecurities, her emotions laid bare for anyone to see.

“hey, how'd it go?” she asked jimin, her tone a mix of concern and expectation as she wrapped her arms around his. “it went well,” jimin replied, his voice softening as he looked at her. “i think i did pretty good.”

her face lit up, her eyes sparkling with pride. “i knew you would! you’re the best.” their dialogue was playful, filled with the kind of light-hearted banter that only couples share. she clung to his arm, her possessiveness almost comical in its intensity. you watched them, an amused smile playing on your lips.

“so, are we walking home together?” jimin asked, turning his attention back to you. his question was innocent enough, but it was enough to make jieun frown, her jealousy flaring up again. “you can't walk home alone with her,” she protested, her lower lip jutting out in a pout. it was adorable, her attempts to hide her jealousy only making it more obvious.

you chuckled softly, meeting her gaze with understanding. “i’d like it only if jieun comes along,” you said, your tone gentle and reassuring. her face lit up for a second, a flash of surprise and happiness crossing her features before she tried to mask it. “i’m only coming because of jimin,” she insisted, but there was no mistaking the warmth in her eyes.

the three of you made your way out of the building, the late afternoon sun casting long shadows across the campus. the air was crisp and cool, a gentle breeze rustling the leaves of the trees lining the path. jimin and jieun walked ahead, their playful banter continuing as she clung to his arm. they were a perfect picture of young love, their affection for each other palpable. you walked a few steps behind, content to observe their interactions. despite her jealousy, you knew her feelings came from a place of deep love for jimin. and jimin, for all his easygoing nature, was equally devoted to her, his every gesture filled with tenderness.

the late afternoon sun bathed the streets in a golden hue as you, the three of you had quickly approached your home. the warmth of the sun was a welcome contrast to the cold, tense atmosphere of the exam room. your house loomed ahead, a comforting presence amidst the day's whirlwind of activity.

as you reached the front steps, jieun turned to you, her expression a mix of curiosity and cautious intrigue. “you know,” she began, her voice tinged with a hint of challenge, “i’ve heard people asking about your background. have you ever thought about answering those questions?” jimin shot her a warning glance, his eyes narrowing slightly in a silent plea for her to tread lightly. you caught the look but knew there was no malice behind her question, only a genuine interest that bordered on prying.

you paused for a moment, reflecting on the many questions that had been thrown your way over the past months. the whispers about how someone like you had gained entry into such a prestigious school had been relentless. the curiosity had always seemed to stem from a place of disbelief, as if your presence there was an anomaly that needed to be explained. you remembered how jimin had advised you to avoid discussing your background, especially since the truth—that you had earned your place purely through your academic achievements rather than wealth—could spark envy and hostility among your peers.

“i’m not really sure,” you finally answered, your tone thoughtful. “if the truth ever comes out, i guess i’ll just have to deal with it.” she nodded, her gaze softening as she took in your words. despite her evident discomfort with your close friendship with jimin, she had always respected your privacy and had never shared anything about your background with others. her understanding of your situation, despite the unspoken tension, was something you silently appreciated.

jimin placed a reassuring hand on your shoulder. “don’t worry about it,” he said with a comforting smile. “just focus on doing your best, and everything will work out.” you smiled back at him, grateful for his support. “thanks, jimin. i’ll see you later.”

jieun pouted, a playful yet slightly exasperated look on her face. “no, you won't,” she said, though there was no real bitterness in her voice. before you could respond, she took jimin’s arm and tugged him gently away. the two of them walked off together, their steps in sync as they shared a quiet, intimate conversation. the sight of them walking away, their connection evident in every gesture, left you with a warm feeling of contentment.

as you stepped through the door of your modest home, the familiar scent of worn wood and lingering fabric softener greeted you. the house was small, a humble abode that spoke of years of wear and a life lived within its confines. the walls were a faded, pastel yellow, their color dulled by time and the constant scuffing of shoes and furniture. the linoleum floor, scuffed and stained, added a touch of imperfection to the otherwise simple decor.

your mother was sprawled on the floor, her head resting against the small, weathered bucket of soapy water. her hand was still immersed in the suds, clutching a piece of fabric that she had been scrubbing with tired diligence. the sight of her dozing off in the middle of her chores tugged at your heart. gently, you knelt beside her, brushing a strand of graying hair from her face. “mom,” you whispered, your voice tender yet firm. “wake up. you need to take a nap. i’ll finish this for you.”

she stirred slowly, blinking awake to find you kneeling beside her. a sleepy, grateful smile spread across her face as she sat up, her eyes reflecting a mixture of exhaustion and love. “oh, sweetheart,” she murmured, her voice barely more than a whisper. “thank you. you don’t have to.”

you helped her to her feet, guiding her gently towards the small, worn-out couch that occupied one corner of the room. it was a modest piece of furniture, its cushions flattened and its fabric faded from years of use. “just get some rest,” you urged, your tone soft but insistent. “i’ll take care of the rest.”

she nodded, her eyes shining with gratitude. before she settled down, she placed a gentle kiss on your forehead, her touch warm and reassuring. “how did the exam go?” she asked, her voice laced with concern and curiosity. you couldn’t help but smile, a wave of relief washing over you as you recounted the details. “it went well. i’m confident i passed.”

her eyes lit up with pride and relief. “i’m so glad to hear that,” she said, her voice trembling slightly. “you’ve brought honor to the family. with your grades, i’m sure you’ll make something of yourself and find a great job.” you felt a lump form in your throat at her words. her unwavering faith in you was both comforting and humbling. “i promise, mom,” you said, your voice steady but filled with emotion. “the first thing i’ll do is pay off the hospital bills.”

her face softened, and she reached out to clasp your hand. the debt from the hospital had been a heavy burden on your family, a constant reminder of your father’s passing and the financial strain it had left behind. the bills, mounting and relentless, were a stark reminder of the medical costs that had drained your family's savings and plunged them into debt. your father’s illness had been a long and painful journey. he had spent months in the hospital, his condition deteriorating despite the best efforts of the doctors. each visit to the hospital brought a new set of bills—emergency room fees, surgical costs, daily hospital charges—that piled up with an unrelenting ferocity. his death had left your mother grappling not only with grief but also with the crushing weight of financial instability.

the hospital bills were a reminder of the dreams that had slipped through your fingers, replaced by the harsh reality of debt and loss. your mother had done her best to keep the household running, working tirelessly to make ends meet while trying to keep the financial strain hidden from you. now, as you promised to alleviate that burden, you could see the relief in her eyes. “i know you will,” she said softly. “you’ve always been so determined and strong.”

you embraced her, holding her close as you both shared a quiet moment of understanding. The weight of responsibility, the pressures of academic success, and the promise of a better future all seemed to coalesce in that one tender hug.

with a final squeeze, you pulled away and headed towards the door, your part-time job waiting for you. it was a job that helped pay the bills and put food on the table, a small but significant contribution to the family’s well-being. as you stepped out into the crisp evening air, you took a deep breath, the coolness invigorating you. the streets were quieting down, the hustle of the day giving way to the tranquility of the night. you walked briskly towards your scooter, the one reliable means of transport for your job. the scooter had seen better days, its paint chipped and its engine wheezing with each start, but it was yours, and it served its purpose faithfully.

you mounted the scooter and revved the engine, feeling the familiar hum beneath you. the streets opened up as you navigated through the city, each delivery a step towards your goal. as you worked, the weight of your promise and the hope for a brighter future kept you motivated. each delivery was a reminder of the resilience and determination that defined you, and with every mile, you felt a step closer to fulfilling your dreams and easing your mother’s burdens.

the evening air grew cooler as you continued your shift, the rhythmic clatter of plates and the soft hum of conversation filling the air. the restaurant, a modest establishment with its own unique charm, was busy enough to keep you on your toes. you moved from table to table, wiping down surfaces and ensuring that each customer was satisfied with their meal. the work, though exhausting, was a necessary part of keeping your family afloat, and you approached it with the same dedication you applied to your studies.

as you polished the last table, your boss called you over, his voice cutting through the din of the restaurant. “i need you to make a delivery,” he said, handing you a paper with an address and an order. “it’s an auto workshop. they’ve got a few burgers and fries waiting. here’s the address.” you took the slip of paper, noting the address and the order. the workshop’s location was a bit out of the way, but you nodded and took the bag of food. it was a familiar routine, but today had a different edge to it, a faint sense of anticipation and unease.

mounting your scooter, you adjusted your helmet and revved the engine. the city lights flashed by as you sped through the streets, weaving between cars and pedestrians with practiced ease. the workshop wasn’t far, but the journey seemed to stretch longer with every passing minute. your mind wandered back to the upcoming challenges and the promise you’d made to your mother, fueling your determination.

arriving at the auto workshop, you parked the scooter and approached the entrance. the workshop was a large, industrial space filled with the clinking of tools and the scent of motor oil. the floor was stained with grease and the walls adorned with faded posters of car parts and maintenance tips. you called out the name on the order, your voice echoing slightly in the cavernous space. “delivery for min yoongi.”

it wasn’t until you heard a familiar voice reply that your heart skipped a beat. min yoongi. the name was unmistakable, and the man who emerged from the back of the workshop was someone you had seen around school. his presence was accompanied by a sense of authority, and his clique, always in tow, exuded an air of indifference that you had noticed from afar.

as he stepped into view, his gaze locked onto you, and a smirk slowly spread across his face. the sight of him, in the midst of his domain, only heightened the sense of unease that had settled in your stomach. you stood frozen for a moment, the weight of the situation sinking in.

“what’s a private university student like you doing delivering burgers?” yoongi’s voice was laced with a mix of curiosity and condescension. his smirk widened, making you feel even more out of place. you ignored his question and held out the bag of food, your tone steady as you stated, “here’s your order. the total is thirty dollars.”

his smirk faltered slightly, but he quickly regained his composure. he took out the money, his fingers brushing against the edge of the bag as he handed it over. “let’s hope you’re not part of the school’s social care,” he remarked, his tone dripping with mockery. “that’d be bad for both of us.” his comment stung, a thinly veiled threat masked as casual conversation. you could sense the underlying tension in his words, a warning that there was more to his presence here than just a casual delivery.

without responding, you took the money and turned to leave, the unease in your chest growing with each step. you mounted your scooter once more, the engine rumbling to life as you prepared to head back to the restaurant. yoongi’s parting words lingered in your mind, a reminder that the social dynamics at school were more complicated than you had anticipated.

the hours at work seemed to stretch on interminably, each minute marked by the steady rhythm of your duties. you cleaned tables, took orders, and delivered food with the practiced efficiency that came from months of experience. the work was grueling but necessary, a means to an end that kept your family afloat. as your shift finally drew to a close, you felt a wave of relief wash over you.

returning home, the small house welcomed you with its usual sense of comfort and familiarity. the night had settled into a quiet calm, and you found your mother fast asleep on the couch, the soft light of the lamp casting a gentle glow over her face. the sight of her peaceful rest made you smile. you carefully covered her with a light blanket, ensuring she was warm and comfortable before retreating to your own room. pushing yoongi’s unsettling words to the back of your mind, you sank into your bed and pulled the covers over you. aleep came quickly, a welcome escape from the day’s stresses.

morning arrived with the soft glow of sunlight filtering through the curtains. you stirred, stretching and yawning as you greeted the new day. a quick kiss on your mother’s forehead served as both a farewell and a gesture of gratitude. “have a good day, mom,” you whispered before heading out the door.

the walk to school was uneventful, the rhythmic crunch of your footsteps on the sidewalk providing a steady cadence. however, as you approached the school, a strange atmosphere greeted you. the usual buzz of students was replaced by an uneasy silence, punctuated by hushed whispers and furtive glances. your heart raced, an uneasy thought crossing your mind—could yoongi have said something? the idea lingered for a moment, only to be overshadowed by the sight of jieun running towards you, her face alight with excitement.

“hey! did you see the bulletin board?” she called out, her voice brimming with energy. you followed her, your curiosity piqued. pushing through the crowd of students that had gathered around the bulletin board, you felt a mix of anticipation and anxiety bubble within you. jieun guided you to the front, and as you finally reached the board, you were met with a sea of names and scores.

your eyes scanned the list quickly, and then, as if by instinct, they were drawn to your own name. there it was—first place. you gasped, the reality of your achievement sinking in. before you could fully process the news, jimin appeared beside you, his hand coming down with a hearty slap on your back. “congrats! i knew you’d do it!” you laughed, the joy of your accomplishment mingling with the relief of seeing your hard work recognized. jieun was quick to join in the celebration, her cheerfulness contagious as she congratulated jimin, who had secured second place.

turning your attention back to the board, your eyes couldn’t help but find the name of the one who had caught your attention earlier—taehyung. his name was prominently displayed at the bottom of the list. the shock of seeing him in last place among one hundred students was palpable. the whispers around you seemed to intensify as people took in the surprising result.

as you glanced over towards him, you saw him surrounded by his friends, their laughter ringing out with a mix of disbelief and amusement. jieun’s own laughter seemed to merge with theirs, her reaction a stark contrast to your own. the scene unfolded like a tableau of contrasting emotions, with the weight of the academic competition creating an unexpected drama.

behind taehyung, your gaze met yoongi’s, his smirk unmistakable. he stood a little apart from the group, his expression a mix of satisfaction and amusement. the sight of him sent a shiver down your spine, a reminder of the tension that had lingered from your encounter at the workshop. you quickly looked away, unwilling to let him occupy any more of your thoughts.

the morning continued with an air of restless energy, each classroom you passed seeming to hum with the aftermath of the midterm results. you navigated the hallways with a sense of purpose, your focus fixed on reaching your next class. the excitement of your accomplishment had yet to fully settle, overshadowed by the buzz of gossip and the unsettling encounter with yoongi.

as you rounded a corner, preparing to merge into the flow of students heading towards your classroom, you found yourself face-to-face with none other than min yoongi. he stood directly in your path, his posture relaxed but his gaze sharp, as if he had been waiting just for this moment.

his smirk was immediately apparent, a self-satisfied curve of his lips that seemed to carry both amusement and challenge. “congratulations, delivery girl,” he said, his voice dripping with a casual mockery that sent a chill down your spine. you tensed, the unwelcome familiarity of his presence causing your heart to race. the public setting, combined with his smirk and condescending tone, made the interaction feel all the more uncomfortable. you had hoped to avoid any further confrontations, especially in the midst of the day’s academic frenzy.

without a word, you attempted to sidestep him, hoping to continue on your way without escalating the situation. however, his presence seemed to block your path as if he was determined to make this encounter linger. “thought you’d enjoy a little recognition,” he continued, his tone suggesting that he found some perverse pleasure in this interaction. “didn’t expect the top scorer to be working part-time as a delivery girl. quite the contrast, don’t you think?”

his words were a pointed reminder of the social divide that separated you from the elite circles he moved in. the insinuation that your hard-earned success was somehow diminished by your job was clear, and it stung. you took a deep breath, trying to maintain your composure. “thank you, yoongi,” you managed to reply, your voice steady despite the turmoil within. “i’ve got to get to class now.”

turning on your heel, you walked away with a purposeful stride, your heart pounding as you moved past him. the hallways seemed to stretch endlessly, the echoes of students' voices blending into a cacophony of sounds that barely registered as you focused on putting distance between yourself and him. each step felt heavy, laden with the weight of his words and the sting of his mocking tone. the confrontation had left you unsettled, but you refused to let it deter you. your goal remained clear—excel in your studies, support your family, and rise above the social constraints that sought to define you.

the day had passed in a blur of lectures and fleeting moments of camaraderie with classmates. as the final bell rang, signaling the end of your classes, you made your way to your second job at the coffee shop, a cozy nook tucked away in a bustling part of town. the transition from academic focus to the steady rhythm of coffee brewing was familiar, a comforting routine that helped ground you.

the shop was a warm haven, filled with the rich aroma of freshly ground beans and the soft murmur of conversation. as you slipped behind the counter, you spotted jieun and jimin already seated at their usual corner table. they looked up with welcoming smiles as you approached, ready to take their orders.

you went through the motions of preparing their drinks—jieun’s caramel macchiato and jimin’s classic espresso—with practiced ease. as you worked, the lingering sting of yoongi’s earlier comments occupied your thoughts. his condescending tone had echoed in your mind, a reminder of the social divide that you had been trying so hard to ignore.

jieun’s voice cut through your reverie as she scoffed, her expression darkening. “that yoongi is such an asshole. what does he know about you, anyway?” you tried to brush off her concern, but her words struck a chord. you finished up their drinks and handed them over, forcing a smile. “it’s nothing. he doesn’t have anything concrete against me. i can handle it.”

jimin nodded in agreement. “yeah, just don’t let him get to you. he’s just trying to get a rise out of you. besides, he doesn’t know the full story.” you nodded appreciatively, feeling a bit of reassurance from their support. with a brief exchange of pleasantries, you returned to your tasks, the steady hum of the coffee shop filling the background as you immersed yourself in the rhythm of the job.

meanwhile, in a world far removed from the warmth of the coffee shop, taehyung was enveloped in a cold, imposing atmosphere. his family’s manor was a testament to opulence, its grandiose architecture and expansive rooms a stark contrast to the modesty of your own home. the study where taehyung found himself was no exception—a vast room adorned with dark wood paneling, ornate furnishings, and a large mahogany desk that dominated the space.

his father, seated behind the desk, wore an expression of barely concealed frustration. his mother, standing beside him, placed a comforting hand on taehyung’s shoulder, her eyes filled with concern. his older brother stood across from him, arms folded, a look of disapproval etched on his face. the tension in the room was palpable as taehyung’s father began to scold him. “you’ve disgraced the family name with this abysmal grade. how could you allow yourself to fall to last place?”

his face reddened with embarrassment. “i’m sorry, father. i was distracted—there were personal issues,” his older brother cut in sharply, “distracted? you’ve been distracted for the past twenty years of your life. this isn’t just about one exam.”

his mother interjected, her voice soothing but firm. “that’s enough. we need to find a solution.” taehyung’s father nodded, the decision clearly made. “very well. it’s time to bring in a professional. we’ll hire a tutor.”

the mention of a tutor seemed to deflate taehyung even further, but he knew better than to argue. “who was first place?” his father asked, turning to his wife. he struggled to recall the name. after a moment of tense silence, he managed to remember. “some girl, (y/n) (l/n).”

his father’s eyes narrowed in a mix of disbelief and irritation. “a nobody managed to outdo the entire school, and you let that happen?” he chuckled derisively, shaking his head. “very well. a tutor it is. we’ll see if this (y/n) is really as impressive as the results suggest.” the conversation was clearly over, and taehyung felt a wave of frustration.

he needed to speak with his brother, if only to express his own feelings. he rushed after him as he stepped out, hoping for a moment of understanding or support. however, his brother’s response was anything but comforting. “don’t touch me,” he snapped, “i’m busy running a company, and you’re acting like a child. it’s pathetic.” with those harsh words, his brother turned and left, leaving taehyung standing alone in the corridor, his heart heavy with the weight of his family’s expectations and his own sense of inadequacy. the sense of isolation was nearly overwhelming, and as he turned back towards the study, the realization that his problems were far from over settled heavily upon him.

the day had been long and tiresome, but the knowledge that you were about to share some good news with your mother made every ache in your muscles feel worth it. as you finally clocked out from your shift, the streetlights flickering to life around you, a sense of anticipation accompanied you on your walk home. the cool evening air felt refreshing against your skin, and you allowed yourself a moment to smile, thinking of the joy you were about to bring.

arriving home, you noticed the house was quiet, the kind of stillness that suggested your mother was resting. you eased the front door open and slipped inside, your heart racing with excitement. you called out softly to your mother, but she didn’t respond. walking into the small, dimly lit living room, you found her sprawled on a worn-out rug, her body relaxed in a rare moment of rest. beside her lay the small bucket she used for washing clothes—a testament to the long days she spent keeping up with the household chores.

gently, you shook her shoulder. “mom, wake up. i have something to tell you.” she stirred and blinked up at you, a sleepy smile spreading across her face. “did you finish work?” you nodded, trying to suppress your excitement. “yes, and i have great news. i passed the exam with flying colors.”

her eyes widened slightly, and she sat up, brushing a stray lock of hair from her face. “i already knew. one of the other parents called earlier today.” confusion clouded your features. “one of the other parents? who?”

she took a deep breath before answering, her tone tinged with a mix of pride and concern. “it was kim taehyung’s family. they’re requesting you as an immediate tutor for their son.” the news hit you like a sudden chill. taehyung’s name echoed in your mind, mingling with the unsettling memory of yoongi’s smirk. you felt a knot form in your stomach, a mix of anxiety and disbelief. “not a chance. i don’t think i’m the right fit for that.”

her eyes softened with understanding but held a firm resolve. “i know it might seem daunting, but think about it. the pay is excellent, and it’s an opportunity to showcase your skills. it could be a big step forward for you.”

you hesitated, the weight of your mother’s words clashing with your own apprehensions. as you stood there, the grim reality of your family’s financial situation loomed large. the hospital bills, the constant struggle to keep up with expenses—it all came flooding back. the thought of turning down a lucrative opportunity, despite your reservations, was untenable. swallowing hard, you sighed and finally gave in. “alright, i’ll do it. i understand why it’s important.”

a smile of relief and pride brightened her face. “good. i already promised them you’d take the job. they’re expecting you to start as soon as tomorrow.”

you looked at her, a mixture of astonishment and determination crossing your face. “you promised?” she nodded, her gaze steady and reassuring. “i did. i knew you’d make the right decision. this is your chance to show everyone what you’re capable of.”

you nodded, a faint smile tugging at your lips despite the unease settling in your chest. “alright, i’ll do my best.” your mother reached out and took your hand, squeezing it gently. “i know you will. i’m so proud of you, no matter what.”

you gave her a quick hug, the comfort of her embrace a small solace against the wave of new responsibilities that loomed ahead. as you prepared for bed, your mind raced with thoughts of the upcoming tutoring job and the challenges it might bring. the prospect of working closely with someone like taehyung, coupled with the potential scrutiny from his circle, was daunting. yet, as you settled into your bed, the promise of better days and the chance to make a meaningful difference kept you hopeful. the night was quiet, the stillness only interrupted by the occasional creak of the old house settling into its nighttime routine. as you drifted off to sleep, the anticipation of what lay ahead mingled with the remnants of exhaustion from a long day, leaving you with a bittersweet sense of resolve.

the path to the manor was both exhilarating and daunting. the ornate iron gates, flanked by towering stone columns, seemed to mark the boundary between your humble life and the opulence that lay beyond. the directions you had received were simple enough, yet they did nothing to prepare you for the grandeur of the estate that greeted you.

as you approached the manor, your eyes widened in awe. the estate was a sprawling, neo-classical structure with ivy-clad walls, arched windows, and an intricate array of columns and sculptures that spoke of a bygone era of grandeur. the meticulously manicured lawns stretched out like a lush green carpet, bordered by pristine flower beds and elegant fountains. your heart fluttered with a mix of nervousness and wonder.

you walked up the grand stone steps and knocked on the imposing wooden door, its surface adorned with elaborate carvings. a moment later, the door creaked open, and a woman with an air of effortless grace greeted you. her attire was refined yet warm, and her smile was genuine as she introduced herself as the chairman’s wife.

“welcome! i’m mrs. kim. you must be the student who scored first place,” she said, her eyes twinkling with curiosity and admiration. you offered a polite smile and introduced yourself, “yes, i’m (y/n). it’s nice to meet you.” her face lit up with a beaming smile. “we’re delighted to have you here. please, come in.”

as you stepped inside, you were immediately struck by the sheer scale and elegance of the interior. the foyer was vast, its high ceilings adorned with crystal chandeliers that bathed the room in a warm, golden glow. the walls were lined with tasteful artwork and intricate tapestries, and the floors gleamed with polished marble. she led you up a grand staircase, its polished wooden railing glistening under the light of the chandeliers. the journey up felt like a passage into a different world, a world you had only seen in magazines and dreams. you followed her through a long corridor, each step echoing softly against the walls.

when she reached taehyung’s room, she paused at the door and knocked lightly before opening it. the sight that met your eyes caused your cheeks to flush with surprise. taehyung, shirtless, was lounging on a luxurious couch, his toned physique partially obscured by a half-open shirt draped over the back of the couch. her eyes widened, and she gasped in surprise. “oh, taehyung! i didn’t realize, sorry.”

taehyung, seemingly unbothered, pulled the shirt over his head with a nonchalant grace, his gaze shifting to you with a hint of curiosity. you quickly averted your eyes, feeling your cheeks grow warmer. “i’ll leave you two to it,” she said, her tone a mix of embarrassment and encouragement. “good luck.”

as the door closed behind her, you took a deep breath and turned back to taehyung. he had finally put on a shirt, and you allowed yourself to relax slightly.

“you know, it must be your first time seeing a guy shirtless,” he said with a scoff, his tone laced with a hint of amusement. you rolled your eyes and dismissed his comment with a wave of your hand. “just take out your textbooks. we have work to do.”

he complied, sitting at a large, ornate desk cluttered with papers and textbooks. you took out a piece of paper and set it in front of him. “let’s start by figuring out what you’re struggling with. what seems to be the problem?” he hesitated, his gaze wandering. after a moment, he sighed and said, “everything.” you couldn’t help but stifle a laugh at his blunt honesty. “alright, we’ll start with algebra then.”

you began to explain the basics, your voice steady and patient. as you spoke, you noticed his eyes lingering on you, his attention wavering between the lesson and you. it was clear he was struggling to focus, and you found it both amusing and a bit unsettling. he was clearly distracted, and you wondered if it was your presence or something else that was keeping him from fully engaging with the material.

when you asked if he understood, he snapped back to reality, his expression a mix of confusion and curiosity. “what are you doing in such a prestigious school if you have nothing to offer?” his question caught you off guard. you hesitated, your mind racing through the multitude of reasons you had never openly shared. finally, you decided to be honest. “i got in because of my grades. i work part-time to help my mom. we’re in debt because of my father’s passing, and i wanted to make a better life for us.”

the room fell silent for a moment, and taehyung looked genuinely taken aback. his usual aloof demeanor seemed to soften. “i’m sorry to hear that. i didn’t realize.” you were surprised by his reaction. “thank you. i appreciate it.”

he nodded, his gaze shifting back to you with a newfound respect. “i promise I won’t tell anyone. let’s focus on your teaching. i need all the help i can get.” you smiled, relieved and grateful for his understanding. you continued with the lesson, writing down an equation and handing him a pencil. the brief touch of skin as he took the pencil from you made his heart flutter slightly. you encouraged him to solve the problem, watching as he hesitated but eventually made an attempt.

when he finished, you reviewed his work and told him he had solved it correctly. “you’re smarter than you think. you just need to put your mind to it.” a genuine smile spread across taehyung’s face, and for the first time, he seemed genuinely encouraged. “thank you. i haven’t heard that in a while.”

the days of tutoring taehyung continued, each session bringing its own set of challenges and small victories. you had settled into a routine that balanced your part-time job and your responsibilities as a tutor. taehyung, once aloof and distracted, had shown significant improvement. he was attentive during your lessons, engaging with the material, and his grades were steadily rising. the initial awkwardness between you had faded, replaced by a more comfortable, albeit professional, rapport.

on a crisp afternoon, you were working your shift at the coffee shop, the warm aroma of freshly brewed coffee and baked goods filling the air. you moved from table to table, serving drinks and chatting with regular customers, the rhythmic hum of the café providing a comforting backdrop to your busy day.

as you bustled around, your attention was drawn to a familiar face that had just entered. it was taehyung, looking relaxed in casual attire—jeans and a well-fitted shirt. he scanned the café, his eyes landing on you with a grin that made your heart skip a beat. he approached the counter, and you greeted him with a smile. “hi, taehyung. what can i get for you today?”

he glanced at the menu and made his choice with a casual, “i’ll have a cappuccino, please. and, uh, could i get some help with a problem?” you raised an eyebrow, intrigued. “what kind of problem?”

with a playful smirk, he pulled out his phone and tapped on the screen, then showed it to you. “it’s a number i can’t figure out. your number, actually.” you laughed, the sound light and amused. “what could you possibly need it for?”

he shrugged nonchalantly, though his eyes sparkled with mischief. “you never know. might need it for homework.” you shook your head, still smiling as you took down his phone number. you hesitated for a moment before typing your own number into his phone, making sure to set clear boundaries. “only text me for emergencies. got it?”

he nodded, his smile widening. “got it. i’ll make sure to use it wisely.” as you prepared his drink, you couldn’t help but glance over at him. he watched you with an easygoing smile, seeming to enjoy the brief interaction. there was something undeniably pleasant about the way he looked at you, and it made you wonder about the nature of his interest.

you were busy wiping down the counter when the bell above the café door chimed, announcing a new arrival. you looked up and your heart sank as you saw yoongi walking in. his expression shifted from surprise to a knowing smirk upon seeing you. the brief moment of recognition made you tense, but you masked your unease with professional composure.

yoongi approached the counter, and you could feel yaehyung’s gaze following the interaction. “well, if it isn’t the delivery girl turned bartender,” he remarked, his tone dripping with sarcasm. “is there anything you can’t do?”

you took a deep breath, trying to ignore the provocation. “what can i get for you?” you asked, keeping your voice steady. he ordered a coffee with a hint of casual curiosity in his tone. “and maybe an explanation while you’re at it.”

your brow furrowed in confusion. “i’m not sure what you’re referring to.” yoongi’s expression darkened slightly. “don’t play dumb. i’d suggest you explain yourself soon, or you might find the whole school talking about why you’re working part-time.”

before you could respond, taehyung stood up from his table, his eyes locked on yoongi with an intense glare. he walked over with a purposeful stride, clearly agitated. “take your coffee and leave,” he commanded, his voice sharp. yoongi didn’t flinch. instead, he gave a mocking smile. “oh, don’t be so brazen. you almost scared me.”

taehyung moved closer, his irritation palpable. “i said, leave.” yoongi’s gaze shifted between the two of you, amusement evident in his smirk. “i wonder which would be more shocking—the prestigious student working part-time, or the younger kim son dating said student?”

your heart raced at the insinuation, and you quickly interjected, “we’re not dating.” yoongi’s eyebrows lifted in mild surprise. “really? so i can have your number, then?”

you hesitated, feeling the weight of your situation. taehyung looked as if he wanted to protest, but when he met your eyes and saw the determination there, he fell silent. with a resigned sigh, you gave yoongi your number, knowing the importance of keeping things under control. his smirk widened as he took your phone, typing in the number. he handed it back to you along with the money for his coffee. “keep the change,” he said with a hint of mockery. “you probably need it more than i do.”

with that, he turned on his heel and walked out, his exit leaving a palpable tension in the air. taehyung’s eyes narrowed in frustration as he watched yoongi leave. once the door closed behind him, he turned to you, his voice laced with anger. “why did you give him your number?”

you met his gaze, feeling a pang of sadness mixed with resolve. “i can’t afford to be a laughingstock. you wouldn’t understand. you’re from a different world where these things don’t matter.” taehyung looked taken aback by your words, his face reflecting a mixture of surprise and hurt. he stood silently as you turned back to your work, the weight of the conversation hanging heavily between you.

the following morning, you walked to school with a sense of weariness settling over you. the events of the previous day replayed in your mindyoongi’s taunting remarks and taehyung’s confusion. you were lost in thought when a sleek black car came to a halt beside you, the window slowly descending.

taehyung’s familiar face appeared, framed by the open window, his smile bright and inviting. “good morning,” he greeted, his tone cheerful. “need a ride?” you blinked in surprise, taken aback by the unexpected offer. “what are you doing?” you asked, casting a wary glance at the car.

“get in,” he said, motioning towards the vehicle. “i’ll give you a lift to school.” a twinge of anxiety made you hesitate. “no, thank you. your family could see us.”

taehyung’s eyes twinkled with a mixture of mischief and reassurance. “that’s why you should get in quickly.” defeated by his insistence, you reluctantly slid into the back seat, the leather upholstery cool against your skin. his gaze was fixed on you as he settled beside you. he leaned in slightly, his voice soft and curious. “did you sleep well?”

you brushed off his concern with a shrug. “why are you doing this? you don’t have to.” he feigned innocence, his expression playful. “doing what?”

“giving me a ride,” you clarified, a note of exasperation in your voice. “why?” before he could respond, you told the driver to stop as you neared the school. however, taehyung quickly intervened. “no, go straight to campus,” he instructed firmly.

you stared at him, a mix of frustration and disbelief on your face. “are you out of your mind? i don’t want to draw attention.” with a dramatic gasp, he pointed behind you. “look!”

confused and curious, you turned your head to see what had caught his attention. as you glanced back, taehyung took the opportunity to lean in closer, his head resting lightly on your shoulder. the warmth of his breath on your skin sent a shiver down your spine. when you looked back at him, your eyes widened in shock. his satisfied smile was the only hint of his triumph. the closeness between you was unexpected, and his casual display of affection left you momentarily stunned. the car ride, once a mundane task, now seemed fraught with unspoken emotions and shifting dynamics.

the driver navigated the streets smoothly, and as the campus loomed into view, you felt a mix of anxiety and anticipation. you had hoped for a quiet, uneventful start to your day, but taehyung’s presence had turned that expectation on its head. when the car finally pulled up to the entrance of the school, he sat up, his demeanor effortlessly casual. “here we are,” he said, his voice warm.

as you and taehyung stepped out of the car, a hush fell over the school grounds. the sight of him, the younger kim son, walking beside you—someone who had been, until now, a mere acquaintance—was enough to set the student body abuzz. whispers and incredulous glances followed you both, and you could feel the weight of their stares pressing down on you. “is that kim taehyung?” a student murmured, eyes wide with disbelief. “what’s he doing with her?” another voice asked, tinged with curiosity. “looks like they’re pretty close,” a third student speculated.

taehyung walked with an air of casual confidence, his posture relaxed despite the scrutiny. you glanced around, noticing yoongi standing amidst the crowd. his eyes were locked on you, a smirk playing at the corners of his lips. jungkook, standing beside him, seemed equally intrigued.

“what’s taehyung doing? who is she?” jungkook asked, his gaze shifting between taehyung and you. yoongi's eyes narrowed slightly as he replied, “that’s what i’m trying to figure out.”

you quickly averted your gaze, focusing on reaching your locker. taehyung followed close behind, his presence both reassuring and unsettling. as you approached your locker, jieun and jimin came running up to you, their expressions a mix of excitement and concern. “what are you doing with him?” jieun asked, her eyes shooting a skeptical look at taehyung.

“i’m his tutor,” you explained, trying to sound casual despite the intensity of the situation. jimin’s laughter erupted unexpectedly, drawing taehyung’s attention. “seriously? that’s hilarious. you’re his tutor?” his amusement was evident, but taehyung’s glare cut through the mirth.

“what’s so funny?” he demanded, his tone sharp. jieun stepped in, a defensive glint in her eyes. “watch how you talk to him. that's my boyfriend.”

taehyung raised his hands in mock surrender, a wry smile on his face. “i’m shaking in my boots.” jimin chuckled, shaking his head. “i’ll catch up with you later. i have class.” he glanced at jieun, who followed him with a playful sigh, “and don’t think you’re getting out of class either.”

you laughed softly as they walked away, the tension easing slightly. turning to taehyung, you started walking toward your class. he fell into step beside you, curiosity evident in his eyes. “you and jimin seem pretty close,” he said, breaking the silence. “what’s your relationship?”

“he’s my best friend,” you replied, smiling at the memory of your long friendship. “we’ve known each other since childhood.” taehyung’s eyebrows rose in surprise. “so many years, and you’ve never dated?”

you scoffed lightly. “of course not. boys and girls can be friends without dating.” taehyung’s expression shifted, a mixture of skepticism and intrigue crossing his face. “i don’t believe that’s true.”

you looked at him, puzzled. “why not?” he gave you a small, enigmatic smile. “no man of yours could be just a friend and nothing more. there’s always something else.”

his words hung in the air as he veered off towards his own class, leaving you standing there, stunned. the notion that a simple friendship could be questioned so easily made you reflect on your own relationships and the assumptions others might make. as he disappeared down the hallway, you shook your head and turned towards your own classroom, the thoughts of his comments mingling with the buzz of the day’s events. the unexpected dynamics and the shifting perceptions only added to the whirlwind of your life at school.

as the final bell of your psychology class rang, you gathered your belongings with the usual routine: slipping textbooks into your bag, organizing notes, and shutting down your laptop. the classroom was starting to empty, the chatter of students preparing for their next classes filling the air. you were just about to sling your bag over your shoulder when a figure loomed in your peripheral vision.

you looked up, startled to find yoongi leaning casually against your table, his smirk unmistakable. “what do you want?” you asked, trying to keep your voice steady. yoongi shrugged nonchalantly. “an explanation would do it.”

“of what?” you replied, confused. his presence and vague statements were unnerving. before he could answer, jieun walked in, her eyes immediately darting between you and yoongi. “what’s going on here?”

yoongi’s smirk widened. “perfect timing,” he said, his tone dripping with malice. Without another word, he grabbed your bag, yanked it off the table, and dumped its contents onto the floor. books, notebooks, and pens scattered across the tiles. you were stunned, your mind struggling to process what was happening.

jieun’s eyes widened in shock. “what the hell do you think you’re doing?” she snapped, her voice laced with anger.

ignoring her, yoongi reached for her bag and, before she could react, emptied it onto the floor next to your scattered items. her possessions—a sleek wallet, a tube of lipstick, and an assortment of decorative items—joined the mess. the contrast between your straightforward, practical items and jieun’s high-end accessories was glaringly obvious. the classroom’s atmosphere grew tense as students started peeking through the open door, their murmurs rising in volume. yoongi turned to them with a mocking smile, his eyes glinting with satisfaction. “did you all see that?” he asked, his voice carrying.

you felt a wave of humiliation wash over you, your face burning with embarrassment. jieun quickly knelt beside you, helping you gather your things with a mix of frustration and urgency. “i can’t believe this,” she muttered as she worked. yoongi’s gaze shifted back to you, his smirk unwavering. “so, who exactly are you, (y/n) (l/n)?” he asked, his tone both curious and taunting.

as the students watched the scene unfold, one hurriedly made her way to the nearest classroom, breathless and urgent. “yoongi’s causing a scene with (y/n) and jieun!” she shouted, pushing open the door and interrupting the lecture. taehyung’s head snapped up at the news. without a moment’s hesitation, he stood, his expression a mix of concern and determination. the classroom fell silent as he strode out, his steps quick and purposeful. he navigated the crowded hallways with urgency, his heart pounding in sync with his hurried pace.

as he arrived at the scene, the chaos greeted him like a tempest. the classroom was filled with murmurs and gasps, the students huddling near the door to catch a glimpse of the unfolding drama. taehyung’s gaze swept over the scattered contents on the floor, jieun standing beside you with a look of frustrated disbelief, and yoongi smirking triumphantly.

without wasting a second, taehyung’s voice cut through the tension, sharp and commanding. “everyone out,” he ordered, his tone leaving no room for argument. the students shuffled out of the room, their faces a mix of curiosity and apprehension. the door closed with a soft thud, leaving just the three of you and yoongi in the room.

yoongi turned to face taehyung, his smirk still intact despite the hostile atmosphere. “always meddling in things that don’t concern you,” he said dismissively. taehyung’s eyes flashed with anger. “shut up,” he retorted, his voice low and dangerous. he turned to you, his expression softening as he handed you your bag with a reassuring smile. “are you okay?”

you nodded, though your heart was racing. “yes, thank you.” taehyung turned back to yoongi, his demeanor shifting to one of steely resolve. “if you have an issue with (y/n), then you talk to me about it,” he stated firmly.

yoongi’s gaze darkened, and he stepped closer, his voice dripping with venom. “know your place. your own brother doesn’t love you—what makes you so sure she will?”

the taunt was the final straw. taehyung’s face flushed with anger, and before anyone could react, he swung his fist, landing a solid punch to yoongi’s jaw. the impact echoed in the room, sending yoongi staggering backward. he caught his balance, his eyes narrowing in fury. he retaliated swiftly, his own punch connecting with taehyung’s cheek. the force of the blow made him stumble slightly, but he quickly steadied himself. the two of them were now fully engaged in a brutal exchange of punches and kicks, their movements fast and chaotic.

you watched in shock, your body frozen in place as the fight unfolded before your eyes. taehyung’s normally composed demeanor was replaced with raw aggression, each punch fueled by a mixture of anger and frustration. yoongi’s smirk had long vanished, replaced by a scowl of determination. the sound of fists connecting with flesh, grunts of pain, and heavy breathing filled the room.

taehyung’s punches were powerful, driven by his anger at yoongi’s provocation. he landed several blows, each one more forceful than the last. yoongi, though initially caught off guard, fought back with equal intensity. his movements were quick and calculated, aiming to exploit any openings in taehyung’s defense. the classroom was now a makeshift arena, the desks and chairs pushed aside in the frenzy. you watched helplessly, your pleas for taehyung to stop lost amid the chaos. the students who had remained in the hallway were pressed against the glass of the door, their faces etched with a mix of horror and fascination.

just as the fight seemed to reach its peak, a stern voice cut through the commotion. “enough!” the principal commanded, her tone authoritative and unwavering. taehyung and yoongi immediately froze, their chests heaving with heavy breaths. the principal stepped into the room, her expression a blend of sternness and concern. her presence alone was enough to command immediate compliance.

“both of you, come with me,” she said, her voice brooking no argument. “we’re going to the office.” taehyung and yoongi exchanged one last, heated glance before reluctantly following her out of the classroom. the students who had been watching from the hallway slowly began to disperse, their murmurs growing louder as they speculated about what they had just witnessed.

in the principal’s office, the atmosphere was thick with tension. taehyung and yoongi sat across from the principal’s desk, their faces flushed from the recent altercation. her stern gaze swept over them, her demeanor one of controlled irritation. “now, what exactly happened?” she demanded, her voice calm but carrying an unmistakable edge.

yoongi leaned forward slightly, his posture relaxed despite the seriousness of the situation. “i’m truly sorry, principal kim,” he said with a hint of insincerity in his tone. “it’s common for friends to have disagreements and fights. it won’t happen again, i assure you.”

her eyes narrowed. “it may be common for friends to argue, but this was not just a disagreement. this was a violent altercation in the middle of a classroom, and you both need to understand the severity of your actions.” she turned her gaze to taehyung. “and you, kim taehyung, will fall off if you continue to let your temper control you. i expect better from you.” his jaw tightened, but he remained silent, clearly restraining himself.

the principal leaned back in her chair, her expression softening slightly as she concluded, “you both need to leave my office now. consider this a warning. any further disruptions will be dealt with more severely.” as they exited the office, the weight of the principal’s reprimand hung heavy in the air. taehyung’s face was set in a grim line, his hands clenched into fists at his sides. yoongi, on the other hand, seemed unfazed, a smirk playing on his lips as he followed him out into the hallway.

once outside, taehyung rounded on yoongi, his voice low but edged with menace. “stay away from (y/n).” yoongi clicked his tongue, his smirk widening. “i can’t do that,” he said, pausing for effect. “i’m just as interested in her as you are, old friend.”

the words hung in the air, their implications clear. with a final, mocking glance, yoongi turned on his heel and walked away, his footsteps echoing down the hallway. taehyung watched him go, his expression a mix of frustration and concern. his fists remained clenched, his knuckles white as he tried to steady his breathing. the conversation with the principal had done little to quell the storm brewing inside him. the mention of your name by yoongi had only fueled his anger further, intensifying the protective instincts he felt toward you.

back in the opulent study of the kim family manor, the air was heavy with disapproval. the room, lined with dark mahogany bookshelves and bathed in the muted glow of a desk lamp, seemed to amplify the sternness of the chairman. taehyung stood near the grand mahogany desk, his posture stiff and eyes lowered, as his father paced behind it, a frown etched deeply into his features.

“taehyung,” his father began, his voice stern, “i heard about the altercation at school today. explain yourself.”

his heart raced, and he hesitated, struggling to find the right words. he swallowed hard before speaking, his voice tinged with distress. “it was yoongi. he said something about my brother, about our family.” he trailed off, not wanting to delve into the specifics of yoongi’s taunts or his own actions that followed.

his father’s expression shifted from anger to a weary frustration. “taehyung, you must learn to control your impulses. acting rashly only undermines your position and creates unnecessary complications.” taehyung nodded, barely able to meet his father’s gaze. “i understand.”

as he turned to leave, the door opened, and taehyung’s older brother stepped into the study. for a fleeting moment, taehyung’s heart leapt with hope. perhaps it was a sign of reconciliation, or at least a chance for meaningful conversation. his joy was short-lived, however, when his brother’s icy tone cut through the room.

“taehyung,” his brother said sharply, “don’t ever make a fool of yourself like that again.” with that, he turned on his heel and walked away, leaving taehyung standing there, his heart sinking with each step his brother took. the weight of disappointment and isolation settled heavily on his shoulders as he left the study.

meanwhile, in a starkly different setting, yoongi was engaged in a rigorous judo practice session with his father in the family dojo. the dojo, a spacious room with polished wooden floors and walls adorned with traditional Korean art, echoed with the grunts of exertion and the rhythmic thud of bodies hitting the mat.

yoongi, dressed in a white judogi, faced his father across the mat. his father, a formidable figure with an aura of authority, was already in a stance, his eyes sharp and focused. the session began with intense speed, both men moving with practiced precision. yoongi aimed a swift foot sweep at his father, who countered effortlessly with a firm grip, twisting yoongi’s arm and forcing him to the mat.

breathing heavily, yoongi rolled to his feet, his movements fluid despite the strain. “father,” he said as he reset his stance, “i want to explain what happened with taehyung today.” his father’s eyes narrowed. “very well, but remember, actions speak louder than words. show me.”

they resumed their fighting stance, and yoongi executed a series of rapid movements—a throw followed by a high kick—trying to subdue his father. his father, however, was a step ahead, using yoongi’s momentum against him. he deflected his attempts with ease and threw him to the mat again. “taehyung threw the first punch,” he said between gasps for air as he scrambled to his feet. “i just reacted.”

his father, now visibly annoyed, grabbed him and pinned him down with a decisive maneuver, his face contorted with a mix of anger and disappointment. “you're weak,” he spat out, “it's the reason you can’t beat taehyung. it’s why you’ll never beat me.”

with a final, forceful move, he released yoongi and left him sprawled on the mat, breathless and defeated. he lay there, staring up at the ceiling, his father’s words echoing in his mind. the lesson was harsh and uncompromising, a stark reminder of the high standards and expectations he was constantly under. as he gathered himself, he could feel the sting of failure mingling with the bruises forming on his body.

the evening had settled into a soft twilight as you made your way up the grand stairs of taehyung's manor. the mansion, with its opulent decor and sprawling architecture, was a stark contrast to the modesty of your own surroundings. you held a medical kit and a stack of textbooks close, a determined frown on your face. the events of the day lingered in your mind, especially the bruises and cuts you’d seen on him.

as you reached his room, you hesitated for a brief moment before knocking. the door swung open to reveal him, his face bearing the marks of the day’s earlier confrontation. the bruises on his cheek were a dark, purpling hue, and a cut above his eyebrow was still fresh, blood oozing sluggishly. his eyes met yours, and for a moment, there was a flicker of something—perhaps embarrassment or discomfort—before he masked it with a casual smile.

“hey,” you said, trying to keep your tone light despite the shock you felt. “i brought this. let me clean those cuts up.” he raised an eyebrow, his smile slightly wobbly. “you don’t have to go through all that trouble. i’m fine.”

“not a chance,” you replied firmly, stepping into his room. “sit down. you look like you’ve been through a warzone.”

with a resigned sigh, he sat on the edge of his bed, his posture relaxed but his gaze on you as you unpacked the kit. he watched with a mix of curiosity and something softer in his eyes. as you approached him with a sterile wipe, he flinched slightly at the sting of the antiseptic. “stop being such a baby,” you teased, rolling your eyes. “it’s just a little sting.”

he chuckled softly, the sound a low, soothing rumble in the quiet of the room. his eyes wandered over your face, taking in the way your brows furrowed in concentration and the way you bit your lip as you worked. there was something almost tender in his gaze, though he masked it with a casual smile.

“what’s so funny?” you asked, glancing up at him as you dabbed at a particularly stubborn cut. “you,” he said with a grin. “you’re just pretty, that’s all.”

your face flushed a deep shade of pink. “cut it out,” you said, trying to sound exasperated but unable to suppress the smile that tugged at the corners of your lips. “open your book. we have some studying to do.”

taehyung complied, opening his textbook to the physics section you’d discussed earlier. you settled next to him, placing the medical kit aside and spreading out your textbooks and notes. you pointed out the relevant formulas, meticulously writing them down on a notepad. his eyes followed your movements, occasionally flicking up to meet yours with a look of appreciation.

as you explained a particularly tricky concept, you could feel his gaze lingering on you. it was an unspoken compliment in his eyes, and every so often, he would nod thoughtfully, taking in the information you provided. after a while, you handed him a practice problem. he worked through it with a furrowed brow, his concentration evident. when he finally looked up with a grin, having solved the problem correctly, you couldn’t help but beam with pride.

“well done,” you said warmly. “you learned well.” his smile widened, a genuine warmth in his eyes. “my tutor taught me well,” he said, his voice low and sincere.

the atmosphere in the room softened, the earlier tension dissipating into a comfortable setting. you continued to go over more problems with him, your laughter and his occasional teasing filling the space between you. each smile and laugh seemed to draw you closer, making the evening’s tutoring session feel less like a task and more like a shared moment of genuine connection.

as the night grew darker, and you packed up your things to leave, taehyung walked you to the door. he looked at you with a mixture of gratitude and something more, a hint of admiration that made your heart flutter.

“thank you,” he said softly, his voice carrying a sincerity that warmed you. “i really appreciate this.” you nodded, your cheeks still slightly flushed. “anytime. and next time, try not to get into any more fights, alright?” he laughed, a sound that felt like a promise of brighter days ahead. “i’ll do my best.”

as you left the manor, the evening air was crisp and carried with it the faint scent of blooming flowers from the surrounding gardens. the grandeur of the manor faded behind you, its tall gates closing with a soft clang. you were lost in thought, replaying the warmth of the evening and the unexpected kindness you had shared with taehyung.

but as you walked past the wrought-iron gates, a loud roar of a motorcycle broke through your reverie. you turned, your heart sinking as you saw the sleek black motorcycle pull up beside you. the rider, clad in black leather and a helmet, stopped just a few feet in front of you. the world seemed to slow as the rider dismounted, and the helmet was lifted to reveal his familiar smirk.

“well, well,” yoongi drawled, his voice dripping with mock curiosity. “am i dreaming, or did i just see you leaving kim taehyung’s house?”

your heart sank further, frustration bubbling up inside you. “i’m his tutor,” you said tersely, trying to keep your voice steady. his eyebrows shot up in surprise, and his smirk widened, turning into something more sardonic. “really? is it that bad that you need to stoop so low? are you that desperate for money?” his words were like sharp thorns, pricking at your patience. you clenched your fists at your sides, feeling a surge of anger rise up. the world around you seemed to narrow to just the two of you, the night air suddenly feeling colder.

“you have no idea,” you snapped, your voice trembling with barely contained emotion. “i’m broke. i work multiple jobs to support my mom because my dad passed away. i didn’t get to eat off the same silver plate you did. i don’t care what you think or what you do with that information. i’m done playing your games.”

his smirk faltered, his expression shifting to one of stunned silence. for a moment, he stood there, caught off guard by the raw honesty of your words. the night air seemed to grow heavier between you, charged with the weight of your confession. you pushed past him, not giving him a chance to respond. the cool breeze of the evening felt soothing against your heated cheeks as you walked away, each step a release of the pent-up frustration you’d been holding. you could feel yoongi’s gaze on your back, but you didn’t turn around.

the next day at school, the morning sunlight filtered through the windows, casting long, warm shadows across the hallways. you made your way to your locker, the familiar hum of conversation and the occasional burst of laughter from students filling the air. as you approached, your phone buzzed in your pocket, its screen lighting up with yoongi’s name.

you sighed, your fingers reaching for your phone just as it began to ring. you were about to swipe to answer when suddenly, taehyung appeared beside you, his hand moving with quick precision. before you could react, he snatched your phone from your grasp. you opened your mouth to protest, but he had already answered the call.

“stop calling her,” his voice was firm, cutting through the background noise of the school. yoongi’s voice came through the speaker, laced with casual annoyance. “you never seem to know where your place is. i just wanted to ask her to have lunch with me.”

taehyung’s response was immediate, a scoff escaping his lips. “she’s not hungry.” with that, he ended the call abruptly, his expression a mix of irritation and resolve. he handed your phone back to you with a dismissive air. you stared at him, taken aback by the sudden and assertive interference. “are you out of your mind?” you demanded, frustration lacing your tone. “what was that about?”

taehyung’s face remained stern, his gaze intense as he met your eyes. “i don’t want you talking to yoongi.”

“why?” you asked, bewildered. “what’s the big deal?” he hesitated for a moment, as if grappling with how much to reveal. “i like you,” he said finally, his voice softer but earnest. “i don’t want to see you with other guys.”

a flutter of butterflies took flight in your stomach at his confession, but you tried to keep your composure. “you’re from a different world,” you said with a scoff, despite the flurry of emotions bubbling up inside you. “it’ll never happen.”

his eyes didn’t waver, and he seemed unperturbed by your words. instead, he continued, his voice steady, “do you feel the same way?” you shook your head, feeling the weight of his question. “it doesn’t matter how i feel. your family would never accept it.”

a heavy silence fell between you. taehyung’s expression hardened slightly, a look of determination settling over his features. before you could say more, he stepped back, giving you space but still watching you intently. with a sigh, you turned and walked toward your next class, the day stretching out before you. the butterflies in your stomach continued to flutter, their presence a constant reminder of his unexpected confession. each step felt heavier than the last, your thoughts a whirlwind of emotions and uncertainties.

as the professor’s announcement echoed through the classroom, excitement rippled through the students like a wave. the camping trip was to be a weekend adventure, an opportunity to escape the confines of academic life and immerse themselves in nature. a chorus of enthusiastic voices filled the room, with students already speculating about the activities and sharing plans for the trip.

you, however, felt a knot of apprehension forming in your stomach. the idea of spending an entire weekend away, particularly with the tension and complications of your current situation, left you feeling uneasy. as you scanned the room, your gaze met taehyung’s. his expression was a complex blend of sternness and something else—perhaps resignation or frustration. he watched you with a defeated look, his eyes reflecting the weight of unspoken words and unresolved feelings.

on the other side of the room, you felt yoongi’s gaze on you. the smirk playing on his lips was unmistakable, a self-assured glint in his eyes as if he relished the drama of the situation. his attention seemed solely focused on you, adding an extra layer of discomfort to your already fraught emotions.

jimin placed a reassuring hand on your shoulder. his voice, light and teasing, cut through the tension. “did you get into an argument with your student?” he asked, his tone playful. you scoffed, a mix of frustration and amusement surfacing. “you're the worst.”

he chuckled, shaking his head. “come on, lighten up. you should have fun while you can.” his words were meant to be comforting, but they did little to ease the knot in your stomach. you offered him a weak smile, appreciating his attempt to lift your spirits, though the weight of the upcoming trip felt heavy on your shoulders.

for the rest of the day, taehyung maintained a deafening silence around you. his demeanor was distant, almost cold. whenever your paths crossed, he would quickly avert his gaze or walk away, his avoidance palpable and disheartening. his usual warmth and playful banter were replaced by an impenetrable barrier, and you couldn’t help but feel the sting of his withdrawal.

the forest was a breathtaking expanse of verdant splendor, a living tapestry of emerald hues and dappled sunlight. tall, ancient trees stood sentinel, their leaves whispering softly in the gentle breeze that wove through the forest canopy. the ground beneath your feet was a soft carpet of moss and fallen leaves, muffling your steps as you walked. the air was crisp and fragrant, filled with the earthy aroma of pine and the faint, sweet scent of wildflowers.

as you meandered along the winding path, your heart sank with every glance that failed to catch sight of taehyung. the weight of his absence was palpable, a dull ache that gnawed at you as you took in the beauty around you. the forest, though enchanting, seemed to mock your solitude, its serenity juxtaposed with your inner turmoil.

walking alongside you were jimin and jieun, their cheerful conversation a stark contrast to your pensive mood. jimin was animatedly recounting a humorous story from a past camping trip. his laughter was infectious, and jieun’s giggles provided a lighthearted counterpoint.

“remember that time i tried to roast marshmallows over an open flame and ended up setting my sleeve on fire?” jimin said with a chuckle. jieun burst into laughter, shaking her head. “how could i forget? i had to put out the flames with my water bottle.”

jimin grinned sheepishly. “well, at least we didn’t end up in the hospital that time.”

“you’re lucky i was there to save the day,” jieun teased, her eyes sparkling with amusement.

you managed a small smile at their interaction, their relationship a brief respite from your worries. despite their light-hearted banter, you could feel the tension of yoongi’s gaze boring into you from behind. his presence was a constant, uncomfortable reminder of the unresolved tension between you. his dark eyes seemed to follow your every move, and you could sense his scrutiny even without turning to look.

jungkook, walking beside him, appeared to be curious about his friend’s fixation. “what’s the deal with you and her?” he asked, his tone casual. yoongi shrugged nonchalantly, a smirk playing at his lips. “i wish i knew. there’s just something about her that catches my interest.”

jungkook squinted his eyes as he assessed you from a distance. “she’s not bad. don’t blame you.” the comment earned him a sharp glare from yoongi. “careful,” he warned, his tone edged with irritation. “don't make me beat your ass, too.”

jungkook raised an eyebrow but said no more, sensing the undercurrent of tension. he focused instead on the beauty of the forest, the towering trees and the dappled sunlight creating a picturesque backdrop.

as you continued along the path, you tried to push yoongi’s gaze to the back of your mind, focusing instead on the tranquility of the surroundings and the lively conversation of your friends. the forest was enchanting, a sanctuary of natural beauty that was meant to be savored. yet, despite its allure, your thoughts remained with taehyung, and the emptiness of his absence cast a shadow over the otherwise perfect setting.

the school gymnasium was an expanse of silence, the usual echoes of bouncing basketballs and student chatter replaced by the soft rustle of fabric and the faint hum of air conditioning. taehyung lay sprawled on the floor, his back against the smooth wooden surface, while his friend sat cross-legged beside him. the overhead lights cast a warm, artificial glow, illuminating the deserted space with a gentle radiance.

namjoon glanced over at him, a playful smirk tugging at his lips. “so, why didn’t you tag along on the camping trip? i’d give a lot to go on a trip like that again,” he said, his tone light but tinged with genuine curiosity. taehyung let out a low chuckle, shaking his head. “being a senior must suck, huh? no more spontaneous trips,” he teased, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

namjoon shot him a mock glare. “yeah, thanks for the sympathy,” he retorted, his voice laced with a mix of amusement and frustration. “but seriously, what’s your excuse for skipping out?”

taehyung’s smile faltered slightly, his gaze dropping to the floor as he shifted into a more serious posture. “i wanted her to miss me,” he admitted quietly, his voice carrying a hint of vulnerability. “i thought maybe if i stayed behind, she’d realize how much she needs me.”

namjoon raised an eyebrow, his expression shifting to one of mild incredulity. “you do realize you left her with yoongi, right?” the weight of his words hit taehyung like a physical blow. his eyes widened as the realization sank in, and he buried his face in his hands, his shoulders slumping in defeat. the silence of the gym seemed to press in on him, amplifying his feelings of regret and frustration. “i forgot,” he muttered, his voice muffled by the fabric of his palms. “i didn’t think about how much trouble yoongi would cause. i just wanted to make sure she felt my absence.”

namjoon’s gaze softened with a mix of sympathy and exasperation. he patted his back gently. “look, man, you can’t always control how people react to you. sometimes, you have to trust that things will work out on their own.” taehyung sighed, lifting his head to look at him with a rueful smile. “i know. i guess i wanted to be the one she thought about, the one who made her day better.”

namjoon gave him a reassuring smile. “you still have a chance to show her that, but not if you sit here and brood. maybe you should go find her. let her know that you’re here and that you care.” taehyung nodded, a renewed determination in his eyes. “you’re right. i need to make things right.”

the forest surrounding your campsite was a picturesque canvas of lush greens and earthy browns, the towering trees providing a serene canopy that filtered the soft rays of the setting sun. the air was crisp, filled with the invigorating scent of pine and the distant murmur of a flowing stream. you were in the midst of setting up your tent, your fingers fumbling with the fabric and poles, your mind more preoccupied with recent events than the task at hand.

as you struggled with the stubborn tent pole, a voice suddenly cut through your concentration. “you’re doing it all wrong.” startled, you turned around to find yoongi approaching you, his expression a mix of amusement and mild exasperation. he looked effortlessly composed, the rugged outdoor setting only enhancing his enigmatic charm. his presence was both unnerving and oddly reassuring, a strange paradox that made your heart race.

“here, let me help you,” he said, stepping closer and taking the tent pole from your hands with an ease that suggested he had done this many times before. you stood there, momentarily frozen, watching as he expertly assembled the tent, his movements fluid and precise.

“thank you,” you managed to say, your voice tinged with genuine gratitude and a hint of surprise. you hadn’t expected him to offer any assistance, especially after your recent interactions. to your further astonishment, he smiled—a rare, genuine smile that softened his usually intense demeanor. “if you want to thank me,” he began, his tone carrying an undercurrent of something you couldn’t quite place, “you should stop.”

you blinked, confusion clouding your thoughts. “stop? stop what?” yoongi scoffed lightly, his eyes briefly meeting yours before he turned his attention back to fixing the last bit of the tent. “stop driving me crazy,” he said, his voice low and almost tender, the words carrying a weight that hung in the cool evening air.

with that cryptic remark, he stood up, brushing the dirt from his hands, and walked away, leaving you standing there, stunned and bewildered. the forest around you seemed to echo with the faint rustle of leaves and the distant calls of birds, a stark contrast to the turmoil of emotions swirling inside you. the forest grew quieter as the sun dipped below the horizon, casting long shadows that danced in the dimming light. you took a deep breath, trying to steady your racing heart and calm your restless thoughts. the camping trip had barely begun, and already it was proving to be more eventful than you had anticipated.

as the sun set and the shadows grew longer, you found yourself standing by the campfire, the warmth of the flames casting a comforting glow on your face. the crackling fire filled the air with a sense of camaraderie, but your thoughts were elsewhere, swirling with confusion and curiosity about yoongi's earlier words. just then, a hushed conversation from the nearby tent caught your attention. you turned slightly, trying to make out the voices.

“did you see her with taehyung earlier?” one girl asked, her voice dripping with curiosity. “no, i saw her with yoongi,” another replied, a hint of scandal in her tone. “she’s such a slut,” the third girl sneered, her words cutting through the night like a knife.

your heart sank, and you felt a rush of anger and humiliation rise within you. before you could react, you felt something soft and warm being pulled over your head. you turned around to find yoongi standing there, his hoodie now draped over your shoulders. his face was set in a scowl, eyes dark with protective anger. “don’t listen to them,” he said, his voice firm but gentle. “don’t let them get to you.”

you were too stunned to speak, only able to nod as his words resonated with you. the girls continued their snide comments, oblivious to yoongi’s presence. you watched as his gaze flicked to the front of their tent, where their sneakers were lined up neatly. without a word, he walked over and snatched the shoes, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “what are you doing?” you whispered, following him as he strode purposefully toward a nearby bucket full of water.

he glanced at you, a wicked smile playing on his lips. “teaching them a lesson,” he replied, before dumping the sneakers into the water. you couldn’t help but gasp, a mix of disbelief and amusement flooding you. “why would you do that?” you asked, half-laughing despite yourself.

he turned to you, his expression serious. “because nobody gets to pick on you. except for me,” he added with a smirk, the playful edge returning to his voice. you felt a strange warmth spread through you at his words. It was a peculiar kind of protectiveness, one that left you feeling both cared for and slightly exasperated by his audacity. the girls' voices ceased abruptly when they discovered their soggy shoes, their shrieks of outrage echoing through the campsite. yoongi’s smirk widened, clearly pleased with the chaos he had caused.

the night had deepened, the flickering campfire casting dancing shadows on the surrounding trees. uou and yoongi sat by the flames, a strange bond forming in the silence between you. just as you were beginning to feel a tentative peace, a familiar voice shattered the tranquility.

“have you had enough?” the voice asked, tinged with an unmistakable edge.

you turned, your heart stopping for a moment when you saw taehyung standing there, his expression dark and unreadable. yoongi scoffed, his irritation clear. “you always find a way to ruin things, don't you?” he retorted, his voice dripping with disdain.

taehyung ignored his taunt, his eyes fixed on you. before you could react, he strode forward, grabbed your wrist, and pulled you away from the fire. yoongi’s voice followed you, laced with a smirk. “you make me want her even more,” he called out, the words hanging in the air like a challenge.

perplexed and a bit alarmed, you allowed taehyung to guide you into the forest, the sounds of the camp fading behind you. his grip on your wrist was firm but not painful, his silence heavy with unspoken words. finally, you found your voice. “what’s your problem?” you asked, frustration bubbling to the surface.

taehyung stopped abruptly and turned to face you, his eyes blazing. “i don’t care what my family thinks,” he snapped. “it’s no reason for me not to like you.” his words took you by surprise, and you felt your heart soften. “taehyung,” you began, unsure of what to say. “i don’t know what to say.”

“don’t say anything,” he interrupted, his voice raw with emotion. without warning, he pulled you into his arms, holding you tightly against him. you were stunned, your mind racing, but as the initial shock faded, you found yourself relaxing into his embrace. tentatively, you wrapped your arms around him, returning the hug. his warmth enveloped you, and for a moment, the rest of the world seemed to fade away. the forest around you was quiet, the rustle of leaves the only sound accompanying your racing heartbeats.

you could feel the tension in his body slowly dissipating, replaced by a vulnerability that he rarely showed. his grip on you tightened, as if he was afraid to let go and lose this moment. you stayed like that for what felt like an eternity, the silence between you filled with a thousand unspoken words.

the morning sun bathed the forest in a golden glow as your group made its way along the winding path towards the hotel for breakfast. the air was crisp and cool, filled with the scents of pine and earth. you walked beside jieun and jimin, their light-hearted banter a soothing background to your thoughts. “did you sleep well?” jieun asked, her eyes twinkling with curiosity.

you nodded, offering her a small smile. “as well as one can in a sleeping bag,” you replied, trying to match her cheerful tone.

jimin chuckled, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “we should have a competition for the worst bedhead,” he joked, ruffling jieun's already tousled hair. taehyung walked a few steps behind you, his presence a comforting weight on your mind. every now and then, you could feel his gaze on you, but you didn’t turn around. Instead, you focused on the path ahead, trying to keep your thoughts from wandering too far back to the previous night.

further back in the group, jungkook was busy going through the photos he had taken with his camera. his fingers deftly navigated through the shots until he stopped at a series of pictures. they were candid shots of you and yoongi by the campfire, your faces illuminated by the dancing flames. he smirked as he showed the photos to yoongi. “look at these,” he teased, nudging him playfully. “you look like a lovesick puppy.”

yoongi glanced at the photos, a faint smile playing on his lips. “so that’s what i look like,” he mused softly, almost to himself. “when I’m looking at her,”

jungkook’s eyes widened in horror as yoongi’s smile grew, a rare and genuine expression that made his usual aloof demeanor melt away. “are you serious?” he asked, his voice laced with disbelief. he didn’t respond immediately, his eyes still on the photos. when he finally spoke, his voice was calm and resolute. “maybe i am,” he said simply, his smile never wavering.

as the group continued walking, the path began to widen, revealing glimpses of the hotel ahead. the building was nestled among the trees, its rustic charm blending seamlessly with the natural surroundings. the sight of it brought a sense of anticipation, a promise of warmth and comfort after the chilly morning hike. you could feel the mood lighten as the group neared the hotel. conversations grew livelier, and laughter echoed through the trees. jieun and jimin were deep in a playful argument about the best breakfast foods, their voices rising and falling in a familiar rhythm.

you smiled at their exchange, grateful for the distraction. but even as you laughed along with them, you couldn’t shake the feeling of taehyung’s gaze. every now and then, you glanced back, catching his eye for just a moment before looking away. when the hotel came fully into view, the group quickened its pace, eager for the promise of a hearty breakfast. the warm light spilling from the windows was inviting, and you could already imagine the smell of fresh coffee and baked goods.

as you reached the hotel entrance, jimin held the door open with a flourish. “ladies first,” he said with a grin, gesturing for you and jieun to enter. “such a gentleman,” she teased, giving him a playful shove as she walked past. you followed her inside, the warmth of the hotel wrapping around you like a comforting blanket. the dining area was cozy, filled with the chatter of other guests and the clinking of cutlery. you found a table near the window, the morning light casting a soft glow over everything.

the morning sun hung high in the sky, casting shimmering reflections on the surface of the pool outside the cafeteria. the earlier excitement of the camping trip had faded, replaced by the persistent whispers and judgmental looks from the same girls who had tormented you the night before. their voices, though hushed, reached your ears, making your breakfast sit like a lead weight in your stomach. frustrated and fed up, you abandoned your plate and left the cafeteria, seeking solace in the quiet by the pool. you stared into the water, trying to calm your racing heart. the tranquility of the scene was short-lived, however, as you felt a presence behind you. turning around, you were met with the sight of yoongi, his usual smirk playing on his lips.

before you could retreat, he was already upon you, his hands grabbing yours in a firm grip. you gasped in shock, trying to pull away, but he was too strong. his smirk widened as he dangled you over the edge of the pool, his eyes glinting with mischief.

“going somewhere?” he asked, his tone mocking and playful. you looked at him in shock, your heart pounding in your chest. the world seemed to slow as you realized what was about to happen. before you could protest, he let go, and you plunged into the cold water. the shock of the impact stole your breath, and you surfaced, wiping the water from your eyes.

he crouched by the edge of the pool, laughing. “sorry, i slipped,” he said, his voice dripping with insincerity.

as you blinked the water from your eyes, you saw the commotion his actions had caused. students were clamoring inside, drawn by the spectacle. in an instant, taehyung stood up from his seat in the cafeteria and walked out, his expression darkening with each step.

before he could react, taehyung reached him and, with a swift movement, kicked him into the pool. “sorry, i slipped,” he said, with the same amount if insincerity.

jieun and jimin rushed out, their faces a mix of concern and amusement. jimin extended a hand to help you out, but jieun frantically pushed him away. “no, no, take my hand,” she insisted, her eyes wide with worry. you took her hand, and she pulled you out of the pool with surprising strength. water dripped from your clothes, and you felt the eyes of the crowd on you, adding to your embarrassment. you locked eyes with taehyung for a brief moment, his gaze filled with a mixture of concern and something deeper that you couldn’t quite place.

“are you okay?” jimin asked, his voice soft and soothing. you nodded, though you could feel the heat of embarrassment creeping up your neck. “i’m fine,” you managed to say, your voice steady despite the tumult of emotions inside you. taehyung’s eyes never left you as you walked away, wet and humiliated. the laughter and whispers of the students faded into the background, and you focused on putting one foot in front of the other. you needed to get away, to find a quiet place where you could collect yourself.

as you walked, your thoughts swirled. the events of the past few days had been overwhelming, and you couldn’t help but feel a sense of dread about what was to come. taehyung’s concern for you was touching, but it also added to the confusion in your heart. you couldn’t deny the flutter of butterflies when he was near, but the differences between your worlds seemed insurmountable.

you found a quiet corner behind the hotel, away from prying eyes, and sat down, letting the sun warm your wet clothes. the silence was a balm to your frayed nerves, giving you a moment to breathe and process everything that had happened. taehyung’s words echoed in your mind, his declaration of not caring what his family thought. it was a bold statement, one that filled you with equal parts hope and fear. you knew that your feelings for him were real, but the complications seemed endless.

lost in thought, you didn’t hear the footsteps approaching until it was too late. you looked up to see taehyung standing there, his eyes soft and filled with concern. “are you alright?” he asked, his voice gentle.

you nodded, unable to find the words. he sat down beside you, his presence a comforting weight. the silence between you was heavy with unspoken words, but for now, it was enough to simply be there, together.

“thank you,” you finally said, your voice barely above a whisper. he smiled, a small, genuine smile that reached his eyes. “anytime,” he replied, and in that moment, you felt a glimmer of hope.

the sun dipped below the horizon, casting long shadows across the mansion as you made your way to taehyung's room. the echoes of the day's events lingered in your mind, but you pushed them aside, focusing on the task at hand. you had a job to do, and you intended to do it well, despite the growing complications of your feelings.

his room was dimly lit, the soft glow of a desk lamp casting a warm light over the scattered books and papers. he sat at his desk, his gaze distant as he stared at the open textbook in front of him. you could sense his restlessness, the usual intensity in his eyes replaced by something else, something you couldn’t quite place.

you settled into the chair across from him, opening your notes and preparing to dive into the evening's lesson. “alright, taehyung, let's start with the themes of this chapter. i think—” you paused, noticing that his eyes were not on the book but on you. he was staring, an unspoken tension hanging in the air between you. “what's wrong?” you asked, your voice soft yet curious.

he sighed, leaning back in his chair, his eyes never leaving yours. “you're too damn distracting,” he said, his voice low and rough with frustration. the words took you by surprise. before you could respond, before you could even process what he meant, he stood up and crossed the small distance between you. his movements were swift, almost desperate, as he leaned down and pressed his lips to yours.

for a moment, you were stunned, frozen in place by the suddenness of his action. but then something within you surrendered, and you allowed yourself to melt into the kiss. it was tender and fervent, filled with all the pent-up emotions that neither of you had dared to voice. as the kiss deepened, his hands found their way to your waist, lifting you and guiding you onto the bed. the world around you faded away, leaving only the two of you, the heat of the moment consuming everything else. you clung to him, your hands tangling in his hair, your heart pounding in your chest.

but then, a sliver of rationality cut through the haze of passion, and you broke the kiss, gasping for breath. “taehyung, we can't,” you whispered, your voice trembling. “your mother might hear.” he smiled, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “then you’ll just have to be quiet,” he murmured, his lips brushing against yours once more.

his gentle touch ignited a fire in you, and you couldn’t help but respond. he was so careful, so attentive, as if he could sense every nerve ending, every soft sigh that escaped your lips. you felt your resolve slipping away as his hands roamed over your body, peeling away layers of clothing like petals from a rose. his touch was electric, sending shivers down your spine.

you lay back on the bed, allowing him to take control. his mouth followed the path of his hands, leaving a trail of kisses down your neck and chest. every caress, every suck of his lips sent waves of pleasure crashing through you. your hands found his shoulders, your nails digging in as you tried to anchor yourself in reality. but the room was spinning, the air thick with desire.

his kisses grew more urgent, his teeth grazed your skin as he moved lower. you bit your lip to stifle a moan, the tension coiling tighter and tighter within you. you felt the warmth of his breath against your stomach, and then lower still, and your entire body arched off the bed. he looked up at you, his eyes dark with need, and whispered, “do you trust me?” without a second thought, you nodded.

his mouth was on you, and the world disappeared. you could only feel the exquisite sensations he was creating, the gentle pressure of his tongue, the soft sucks that sent your senses soaring. your hands clutched at the bed sheets, your breath coming in ragged gasps. you had never felt anything so intense, so consuming. every stroke was a promise, every kiss a declaration. and when you finally reached the peak, it was with his name on your lips, his eyes holding yours in a silent understanding.

his gaze was soft as he kissed his way back up your body, his touch tender as he brushed the hair from your face. you could see the question in his eyes, but you didn’t need words. you reached for him, pulling him closer, and he settled between your legs, his own need palpable.

his hand stroked you gently, his eyes never leaving yours, until you nodded, giving him the go-ahead. and then he was inside you, filling you in a way that made you feel complete. he moved slowly at first, his eyes searching yours for any sign of discomfort, but all you felt was an overwhelming need for more. you wrapped your legs around him, urging him deeper, your hips moving in tandem with his.

the room was filled with the sound of your muffled moans and the slick sound of skin on skin. taehyung whispered sweet nothings into your ear, his voice a soothing balm to your racing thoughts. his touch was both gentle and firm, a perfect mix of tenderness and passion that had you teetering on the edge once again.

his pace quickened, his breaths growing harsher as he approached his own climax. and when he finally reached it, you felt his whole body tense, his muscles coiling as he buried his face in the crook of your neck, his warm breath fanning over your skin.

you lay there, panting and spent, his weight a comforting presence on top of you. for a moment, you allowed yourself to revel in the feeling of him, in the warmth that surrounded you. but as the reality of what had just happened began to sink in, you couldn’t shake off the feeling of impending doom. the line between student and tutor had been crossed, and there was no going back.

he seemed to sense your unease. With a gentle sigh, he shifted beside you, his fingers tracing soothing patterns along your arm. “we should get dressed,” he murmured, his voice husky with sleep.

you nodded, biting your lip as you sat up. the remnants of the passion lingered in the air, but the urgency of the situation tugged at your mind. taehyung slipped out of bed and began to gather your clothes, handing them to you with a soft smile.

“here, let me help,” he offered, his touch tender as he helped you slip into your clothes. his fingers brushed against your skin, sending shivers down your spine. as he fastened the buttons of your blouse, he paused, his eyes locking onto yours. “don’t worry,” he whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. “everything will be okay.”

just as his reassuring words began to settle your nerves, the door burst open with a loud bang, causing both of you to jump. there, standing in the doorway, was his mother, her face a mask of shock and fury. the air seemed to freeze, tension crackling like a live wire. “i knew it,” she hissed, her voice trembling with rage and disbelief. “i knew it.”

you and taehyung were too stunned to respond at first, the reality of the situation crashing down on you with a brutal force. she turned her gaze on you, her eyes blazing with contempt. “i gave you a job, and this is how you repay me?”

“mother, please—” he began, but she cut him off, her words sharp and venomous. “and you,” she spat, rounding on him. “i raised you better than this, taehyung. how could you? she's a different breed, not one of us.”

his expression hardened, a defiant fire lighting up his eyes. “i like her,” he declared, his voice strong and unwavering. “and you’ll just have to deal with it.” his mother's face twisted in fury. “pull yourself together, taehyung. this—this cannot happen.”

tears welled up in your eyes as you took in the scene, the weight of the situation crashing down on you. “i'm so sorry,” you choked out, your voice breaking. “i never meant to—” but the words died in your throat as you saw the heartbreak in taehyung's eyes. with a final, tearful glance at him, you turned and fled the room, the walls closing in around you as you ran down the hallway. the sound of his mother’s angry tirade echoed behind you, but all you could focus on was the pain of leaving him behind.

your heart pounded in your chest, each step a desperate attempt to escape the overwhelming emotions threatening to consume you. the mansion felt like a labyrinth, but you kept running, tears blurring your vision. you had to get out, had to find a way to breathe again. finally, you burst through the front doors and into the morning light, the crisp air a stark contrast to the suffocating atmosphere inside. you stopped, gasping for breath, the tears streaming down your face as you tried to make sense of everything that had just happened.

yoongi stood at the end of the long, winding path leading to your house, your student id clutched tightly in his hand. it had fallen straight out of your pocket after he pushed you into the hotel's pool. his heart pounded as he took in the sight before him. your home was small, much smaller than he had imagined, a stark contrast to the grandeur he was accustomed to. the modesty of it all made his heart ache, a pang of guilt and sadness settling deep within him.

as he approached, your mother appeared on the porch, her kind eyes squinting slightly as she called out, “who are you?”

“i’m yoongi,” he introduced himself, bowing respectfully. “i’m a friend of your daughter. she dropped her student id, and i wanted to return it.” her face lit up with a warm smile. “oh, thank you so much. please, come in. you must be hungry.”

he hesitated, not wanting to intrude, but her insistence was unwavering. “no, really, it’s fine. i just came to drop this off,” he tried to protest, but she waved him off, ushering him inside with a firm yet gentle hand. “nonsense. you came all this way. the least i can do is offer you a meal.”

he found himself seated on the floor, legs crossed as your mother moved about the small kitchen, preparing an array of dishes. the homely aroma filled the room, bringing a sense of warmth and comfort that was almost foreign to him. it had been a long time since he had experienced something so simple, yet so profoundly touching. when she finally set the food before him, he was taken aback by the spread. simple, yet lovingly prepared dishes adorned the low table, and his heart hurt at the sight. “thank you,” he murmured, his voice soft as he picked up his chopsticks and began to eat.

your mother watched him with a gentle smile, her eyes filled with a motherly concern. “is it good?” she asked, her voice hopeful. he nodded, swallowing the bite he had taken. “yes,” he replied, his voice carrying a hint of emotion he hadn’t expected. “it’s just like my mother used to make.”

your mind was a whirlwind of emotions, replaying the events of the day over and over. the embarrassment, the hurtful words, the confrontation with taehyung's mother—it all weighed heavily on your heart. you felt tears welling up, but you forced them back, determined to keep your composure until you were safely inside the sanctuary of your home.

as you approached your house, you noticed an unfamiliar pair of shoes at the entrance. puzzled, you stepped inside, your heart skipping a beat when you saw yoongi standing in the small living room, his expression equally shocked to see you. he looked different here, out of place but somehow softer in the homely environment. he stepped forward, his eyes immediately catching the tears brimming in your eyes. “what’s wrong?” he asked, his voice tinged with genuine concern.

the question snapped something inside you. all the emotions you had been holding back came rushing to the surface. “please, stop toying with me,” you snapped, your voice trembling with a mix of anger and pain. “i don’t know what i did to make you hate me so much.”

his eyes widened in shock, the hurt in your voice piercing him deeply. before he could respond, you turned and slammed the door shut behind you, the sound echoing through the small house. your mother, who had been in the kitchen, rushed over, her face etched with concern. “what happened?” she asked, her voice soft and worried.

you couldn’t hold it in any longer. the tears you had fought so hard to keep at bay finally spilled over as you collapsed into her arms. “i’m sorry,” you sobbed, your voice breaking. “i’m so sorry for liking taehyung.”

your mother’s face softened with understanding. she held you close, her hand gently stroking your hair. “no, sweetheart,” she murmured, her voice filled with love and regret. “i’m sorry i couldn’t give you a better life.” the two of you stood there, wrapped in each other’s arms, your sobs gradually subsiding into quiet sniffles. the weight of your mother’s words hung in the air, a painful acknowledgment of the struggles you had both faced. she pulled back slightly, looking into your eyes with a tenderness that made your heart ache.

“you have nothing to be sorry for,” she said firmly. “loving someone isn’t a crime, and you deserve to be happy, no matter what.” you nodded, wiping away the tears with the back of your hand. the warmth of your mother’s embrace and her unwavering support gave you a sense of solace, a momentary reprieve from the turmoil of the day.

the next day at school, the weight of everything that had happened pressed down on you, making it difficult to focus on anything else. as you walked down the hall, the lively chatter of students felt distant, like a muffled background noise. jieun walked beside you, her usual cheerful demeanor tempered by the worry etched on her face.

“hey, are you okay?” she asked, her voice gentle but filled with concern. “you haven't said a word since we got here.” you barely registered her words, your mind lost in a haze of confusion and heartache. she tried again, her hand lightly touching your arm. “come on, talk to me. what happened?”

you remained silent, your eyes fixed on the floor as you continued walking. jieun's worry deepened, and she was about to press further when jimin came running up to the two of you, his expression a mix of confusion and urgency. “fired? why’d you get fired?” he asked, his voice louder than necessary, drawing the attention of a few nearby students.

you stopped in your tracks, finally lifting your gaze to meet his. “how do you know?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper. he scoffed, rolling his eyes. “because they offered me your position the minute you got fired,” he said, his tone incredulous. “now tell us, what happened?”

you took a deep breath, the pain of the previous night bubbling up again. “i got fired simply because i liked him,” you said, your voice trembling as you forced the words out. jieun gasped, her eyes wide with shock. “i can't believe it,” she murmured, shaking her head. “that's so unfair.”

jimin's expression softened, a mixture of sympathy and frustration. "this is messed up," he said, his voice low but firm. "you don’t deserve this." as the three of you stood there, you noticed taehyung walking into the school. the sight of him was like a punch to the gut, and without a word, you turned and walked away, your heart too heavy to face him.

jieun watched you go, her eyes filled with disbelief and sadness. “i just can’t believe it,” she repeated, more to herself than to anyone else. jimin turned his gaze towards taehyung, his jaw set in determination. “you need to make this right,” he said, his voice carrying a note of command.

taehyung's eyes followed your retreating form, a deep regret etched in his features. he nodded, more to himself than to jimin, and started to follow after you, his steps quickening as he realized the gravity of the situation. you reached the courtyard, your favorite spot for some semblance of peace, and sat down on one of the benches, burying your face in your hands. the events of the past day played over and over in your mind, each memory a sharp sting to your heart. you didn’t notice him approaching until he was standing right in front of you, his shadow casting a long, somber line over your form.

you could feel the weight of the world pressing down on you. the leaves rustled softly in the breeze, their whispering a cruel reminder of how insignificant your problems seemed in the grand scheme of things. your heart felt heavy, each beat a painful reminder of the day’s events. your eyes, swollen from crying, were fixed on the ground, as if seeking solace in the worn path beneath you.

the sound of footsteps approached, but you barely noticed, lost in your own grief. it wasn’t until taehyung's shadow fell across your bench that you looked up, your tear-streaked face meeting his intense gaze.

“can we talk?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper, yet laden with urgency. you shook your head, your frustration evident. “there’s nothing to talk about,” you said, your voice cracking with the strain of your emotions. you stood up, ready to walk away from him, from the pain, from everything.

but before you could take a step, his hand reached out, his fingers wrapping around your wrist with a firm yet gentle grip. you turned back to face him, a mix of surprise and defiance in your eyes. “everyone is an obstacle,” he said, his voice resolute. “i know you’re different from me, but i want to learn. do what you’re good at, teach me. i don’t want to spend the rest of my life mourning you.”

his words cut through the haze of your despair, a sudden burst of clarity amidst the fog of your emotions. the sincerity in his voice was palpable, each word a desperate plea for understanding and connection. you stared at him, your heart racing as you processed his confession. his eyes, usually so confident and sure, were now filled with a vulnerability you had never seen before. it was as if he was laying his soul bare before you, revealing a depth of feeling that had been hidden beneath his strong exterior.

“taehyung,” you began, your voice trembling as you tried to find the right words. “you don’t understand. this isn’t just about us. it’s about my life, my job, everything i’ve worked for.”

he shook his head, his grip on your wrist tightening slightly as if to anchor you both in this moment. “i do understand,” he said, his voice fierce with conviction. “i know i’ve made mistakes, and i know i’ve hurt you. but i don’t want to lose you. not like this.” the raw emotion in his eyes mirrored your own pain, and for a moment, the world around you seemed to fade away. the bustling sounds of the school, the murmurs of students passing by—all of it fell into silence as you focused solely on him.

“you’re asking me to forgive you,” you said softly, the weight of his words sinking in. “but forgiveness isn’t something that can be given so easily.” taehyung’s expression softened, his gaze filled with regret and hope. “i’m not asking for forgiveness,” he said, his voice barely audible. “i’m asking for a chance. a chance to show you that i can change, that i can be different. i need you to teach me, to help me understand.”

his plea resonated deep within you, stirring a whirlwind of emotions. the anger and hurt that had consumed you were slowly giving way to a flicker of hope, a glimmer of the possibility that maybe, just maybe, things could be different. “you really want this?” you asked, your voice filled with a mixture of disbelief and hope.

he nodded, his eyes locked onto yours with a fierce intensity. “yes,” he said firmly. “i want to learn. i want to be someone who deserves you.” you took a deep breath, trying to steady yourself as you considered his words. the path ahead was uncertain, filled with challenges and obstacles. but as you looked into taehyung’s earnest eyes, you saw a glimmer of the person he was trying to become—a person you could perhaps have a future with, despite everything.

with a weary sigh, you nodded slowly. “alright,” you said, your voice soft but resolute. “but it’s not gonna be easy. it'll take time, and a lot of effort. are you ready for that?”

his face lit up with a mixture of relief and determination. “i’m ready,” he said, his voice steady. “i’ll do whatever it takes.” as you stood there, your heart still aching but with a newfound resolve, you knew that the road ahead would be difficult. as the weight of his words settled between you, a profound silence enveloped the both of you. it was a silence filled with the promise of change and the uncertainty of what lay ahead. your heart still ached from the day’s events, but there was a new flicker of hope in your chest, ignited by his earnest plea.

without a word, taehyung stepped closer, his hands gently cupping your face. his touch was warm and reassuring, a stark contrast to the coldness you had felt earlier. slowly, as if savoring the moment, he pulled you into his arms. the embrace was tender and full of emotion, his heart beating steadily against your own. you rested your head against his chest, feeling the rhythmic rise and fall of his breathing. the comforting pressure of his arms around you was a balm to your weary soul. the world outside seemed to blur into insignificance as you held each other, finding solace in the shared warmth.

taehyung’s grip tightened slightly, his breath warm against your ear as he murmured, “thank you for giving me a chance. i promise i won’t let you down.” his words were a soft, heartfelt promise that echoed in the quiet space between you. you looked up at him, your eyes meeting his with a mix of vulnerability and hope. the depth of his feelings was reflected in his gaze, and for the first time in a long while, you felt a sense of peace.

as if guided by an invisible force, he leaned in, his lips finding yours in a gentle, yet passionate kiss. the kiss was tender at first, a sweet exploration of the feelings you both had kept hidden. as the kiss deepened, it became a fierce declaration of the emotions that had been building between you. when you finally pulled away, breathless and with a smile tugging at the corners of your mouth, his eyes shone with a mix of relief and affection. he brushed a strand of hair from your face, his touch light and tender.

from the edge of the path, where the shadows of the trees mingled with the late morning light, yoongi and jungkook watched the scene unfold. yoongi’s eyes were fixed on you, a look of sadness etched deeply into his features. his gaze held a mix of defeat and resignation as he observed the moment.

jungkook, standing beside him, broke the silence with a quiet observation. “damn, you must be bummed,” he said, his tone almost casual. yoongi shook his head, his expression softening with a resigned acceptance. “he beat me to it,” he replied quietly, his eyes never leaving you. “but it’s okay. she’s happy.”

despite the resignation in his voice, the sadness never fully left his eyes. as he watched you, his own heart seemed to bear the weight of what could have been.

✧.*

a/n: this was so corny bye i'd like to thank the heirs

[rkivestation]

“Those Eyes” |Masterpost|KTH

➝status: completed.

➝WC: 23 chapters.

➝pairing: game designer!ceo!taehyung x game designer!employee!reader ,game developer!mirae x game developer!audio engineer!jungkook, game interpreter!jimin x game interpreter!jae-ah, game writer!namjoon x game!writer Auri and two more side ships.

➝genre: romance,fluff,angst,smut (might add smut if I ever get requested,else,it has none rn)

➝summary: it's a mystery how two pair of eyes finds solace in each other,when they are strangers and when they are not. can they solve the mystery their eyes behold and explore beyond the horizon of their workaholic life?

Chapter 1- wc: 4.6k

chapter 2- wc:4.0K

chapter 3

chapter 4

chapter 5

chapter 6

chapter 7

chapter 8

chapter 9

chapter 10

chapter 11

chapter 12

chapter 13

chapter 14

chapter 15

chapter 16

chapter 17

chapter 18

chapter 19

chapter 20

chapter 21

chapter 22

chapter 23

[thekaykery]

I recently addicted to ur taehyung fic (little and the beast) god I loved the couple like how adorable their relationship was so maybe can you do for the same couple or an individual tae x reader smut where OC is his girlfriend and she secretly planned to tease tae by wearing bunny cosplay lingerie and asks him to fuck her in that outfit which she looks so cute as well as hot and tae immediately giving in his pretty girl's wish 🥺🥺💗

This is my first ever ask so pls ignore if it's cringe or whatever lol

yes ofc!!! tsym for loving little and the beast! this one's for you ❤️

honey bunny

pairing: kim taehyung x f!reader

category: smut, fluff

word count: 2.3k

rating: 21+

warning(s): ddlg, daddy dom!taehyung, little sub!f!reader, bunny costume, destruction of said costume, pet names, daddy kink, cursing, teasing, begging, dirty talk, nipple play, fingering, allusion to choking, unprotected sex (wrap before you tap), praise, aftercare, mentions of squirting and passing out from said squirting

notes: again, tsym for requesting this! ik this took forever but life grew hectic bc of college! ty for your patience! p.s. what a good time to release this with layover amirite-

You don’t know if this is a good idea.

Purchasing this… gift with Taehyung’s card was risky enough. Yes, he’s able to see the Amazon charge in his account and know it was you. Yes, he likes to ask what you buy. Yes, you tried your best to hide this in a spot where Taehyung doesn’t normally look. Really, you’ve just been waiting for the opportunity to take it out and wow him.

And today is the day.

Gazing in the mirror at your reflection, you run a hand over the sleek white leather costume. Cinched at the waist, it emphasizes your hips and bum, and the cups do little justice to contain your breasts. You paired fishnet tights, wrist cuff sleeves, and a collar with the costume, along with a bunny ears headband; white stilettos top off the outfit. You even put on some makeup: black liner, mascara, blood-red lipstick.

Although you know it’s all going to come off with your tears and spit, you wanted to be pretty, look pretty for Taehyung.

However, this seemed like a good idea at first, but now you’re second-guessing yourself.

As your dom and caretaker, Taehyung is accustomed to seeing you in cute, frilly clothing, since you’re in little space more often than not. So you don’t know how your boyfriend is going to react. The least he can do is like it, right?

He doesn’t have to love it. You just want to… surprise him.

The familiar sound of the front door opening and closing catches your attention. Your hands become clammy. You scurry to the bed and lay down, stretching along the blankets, which are soft against your skin. Footsteps approach, growing louder with each one, then–

"Jesus Christ."

You shyly peek at your boyfriend. Taehyung stares at you, utterly divine in loose beige pants and a garnet tee tucked into the waistband, his dirty-blond hair swept back away from his face. His brown eyes are wide with shock, knuckles white from his tight grip on the doorknob. You carefully roll over, exposing your chest, and his throat bobs.

“Hi,” you murmur, smiling a little.

He doesn’t reply straight away, obviously stupefied by your costume. “What’s this?” he croaks.

“Do you like it, Daddy?” you quietly ask him, swinging your legs over the edge of the bed and standing. Your heels click on the hardwood floor as you step towards him. “I got it for you.”

Another gulp. Taehyung drifts to you, enchanted. “You look…” His slender fingers curl around your waist. He sharply exhales, eyes unable to stay still. “Fuck, you look so pretty, babygirl.”

"Thank you," you whisper.

His touch is fire, burning through the costume and branding his fingerprints into your skin. Your eyes flutter when his hands trail up to your breasts, caressing them, your sensitive nipples rubbing against the leather. You bite your lip to contain a mewl, heat flooding your cheeks as Taehyung tugs the cups out of the way. He plays with your rosy buds, rolling and pinching them between his fingers, bolts of arousal shooting straight to your pussy.

“So this is what you bought that day,” Taehyung softly says, almost to himself, tugging at your nipples.

“Please,” you pant, jolting when he pinches a bud.

A ghost of a smirk. "Please what?"

You swallow, trembling. "Please fuck me."

Taehyung chuckles. He pinches your other nipple, drawing a whine from you. "You can do better than that, sweetheart."

You pout, eyes dropping in embarrassment. You dislike voicing your needs. He should know what you want by the way you react to his teasing, but that’s what Taehyung likes. The power he holds over you as your dom. He wants you to express your thoughts, tell him exactly just what you want.

It reminds him how much you trust him with yourself, submitting to his every touch and kiss, handing over your body to do as he pleases with it.

“Fuck me, Daddy,” you whine, shivering, head tilting back as Taehyung mouths kisses on your throat. “Please. N-Need you so bad. I-I don’t are what you do to the costume, just please fuck me.”

Taehyung chuckles, the low sound a sweet caress. “Alright, babygirl. Anything for you.”

A few seconds later, you’re on the bed again, this time with Taehyung crawling on top of you. He slots between your legs as your lips meet in a slow, passionate kiss. You quietly moan when his hands cup your tits, calloused fingertips digging into them. The stark comparison of his rough fingers on your smooth skin is arousing. Your eyes roll, bucking your hips up into his hand while he strokes your hot center over the costume, his tongue slipping into your mouth and dancing with your own. You grasp his shoulders for support, a little wail escaping you when Taehyung rips the costume at the seams.

“Daddy!” you whine, heart aching at the loss of your costume.

“What?” His eyes sparkle with mischief. “Just doing what my babydoll wants.”

You open your mouth to retort, to remind him you bought this costume with his money, but the thought disappears the second Taehyung glides a finger through your folds. You quietly moan, pressing your lips together when he easily locates your clit and rubs quick, little circles on it. You swallow, rocking into his touch all while his eyes burn into you.

That’s another thing Taehyung loves in this dynamic with you: Watching you squirm beneath him from pleasure and your orgasms. It doesn’t matter if you seek from his mouth, touch, or cock. He adores the view of you experiencing total euphoria because of him, and it’s even better because he’s the only one who gets to see you like this. His precious girl, all his to love and care for in every way possible. But he knows you secretly like it too, watching him get off on you getting off.

“Daddy, please,” you plead, your hand sliding down to his arm from his shoulder. “Fuck me.”

Taehyung merely hums, his eyes dark and gleaming as he sips a long finger inside you. You whimper, your legs trying to snap shut, but his body stops it from occurring. He pumps it in and out of you at a steady pace, listening to you whine and moan, observing the way you writhe in bliss.

“How badly do you want it, babe?” Taehyung rasps, deep voice husky with lust. He rests his forehead on yours, your breaths mixing while more noises spill out of you. “Huh? How badly do you want Daddy’s cock? Tell me, babygirl.”

“Please!” you cry out, back arching when the pad of his finger brushes over your sweet spot. “O-Oh, fuck yes, please–”

“W-Want it so bad!” you sob, tears stained black from your liner and mascara. “Please, please, fill me up until I can’t think of anything but you!” You squeal, your entrance burning slightly from the intrusion of a second digit, but it feels so fucking good. “P-Please, fuck me up with your big cock, please!”

Taehyung smirks. “That’s a good girl."

While he continues to finger you, Taehyung miraculously shucks off his pants and boxers, cock springing free from its confinements. You lick your lips at the sight of him. Long and girthy, slightly curved with a bulbous tip, veins ridging it, the prominent one crawling up to his frenulum like a tree. You pant in anticipation as Taehyung sits between your legs once more, clenching around nothing when he taps his cock on your drenched pussy.

You’re so deep in your own little world that you don’t even notice him removing his shirt. You grind up against his dick, whining, clit singing at the friction.

“Want Daddy’s cock so bad, don’t you?” Taehyung coos.

You eagerly nod. “Yes, please!”

“Let me hear it one more time, baby.”

You keen, clutching the sheets in your hands, a lump of frustration growing in your throat. Damn him and his teasing. “Please, fuck me, Daddy.”

“Good girl,” Taehyung purrs, and finally, after what felt like endless torture, he enters you. He hisses. “Fuck, so fucking tight...”

You, on the other hand, are in complete bliss, eyes shut in ecstasy. He fills you up little by little, sinking further and further into you until he’s fully seated within you. Your eyes roll at how full you feel, his pelvis pressed to your core, his balls flush with your second hole. You softly pant, shifting in your spot beneath Taehyung, your walls rhythmically clenching around him. This spurs him into action.

He starts slow, one deep stroke after another. You quietly curse, and Taehyung lowly groans, the sound causing you to clamp down around him again.

“Fuck, relax,” Taehyung croaks.

“F-Feels so good,” you whimper.

“I know, baby.”

Your head falls back on the bed, a little whine slipping out of you, your tits bouncing in time with Taehyung’s gentle tempo. You hook your knees to your chest, allowing him more room to work. He lovingly pets your thighs in thanks. Taehyung grunts, nibbling his lip, his hair falling in his face. God, he looks like a god above you like this, completely drunk on your pussy, just like you’re drunk on his cock.

“Go faster,” you plead. “Please.”

“Yeah?” Taehyung picks up the pace, assuming a medium tempo. “Like this?”

You whine and shake your head. “Faster!”

“Be specific, darling.” His hand ghosts over your throat, which has your walls fluttering around his cock. His fingers always make a pretty necklace when Taehyung’s in the mood.

“F-Fuck me until I can’t think straight,” you beg, lightly grasping his wrist. “Please, Daddy.”

“That’s better.” Soon, Taehyung bucks into you with the manner of a well-oiled machine, quick and precise, hips smacking against your ass. He grunts, holding your legs for you while you cradle your tits for emotional support. “This what you wanted, babydoll? Hm?”

“Yes!” you cry, pinching and pulling at your nipples. “F-Fuck yes, Daddy, oh my god!”

Taehyung breathlessly chuckles at your confirmation, using your words as encouragement. He adjusts his angle slightly, along with the depth of his thrusts, and a loud wail is ripped out of you. He smirks. Bingo. Taehyung continues at this position, tip bludgeoning your sweet spot repeatedly. You shriek, eyes crossing, stars speckling your vision. You can’t even talk anymore, rendered speechless by his cock.

He melted your brain. He always does.

The sensation of his cock deliciously gliding against your throbbing walls is addicting, creating a high only your pussy adores. The veiny ridges provide a pleasant catch along your molten core, the lip of his tip adding to it, perfectly hitting that spongy part within you again and again. Your toes curl in your heels, and because of Taehyung’s godly pace, one of them falls off, bouncing on the bed and clattering to the floor. The other one joins it in courtesy of Taehyung.

“Gonna fuckin’ pump you full of my cum,” Taehyung grunts, curling up and hovering above you, forearms situated by your head. His pace becomes stilted, signaling his approaching end. “Until it leaks out of you, babygirl.”

You simply moan, which has him laughing. “Did I fuck my girl dumb? You’re so cute.”

Despite his impending doom, it doesn’t stop Taehyung from fucking you with fervor. No, he keeps going, pistoning into you, operating like a jackhammer.

“D-Daddy,” you croak, clawing at his ribs. The icy burn you’ve learned to love has begun to creep up on you, body trembling in expectation. Fuck, you’re so close. “‘M-M gonna cum.”

Taehyung groans. “Yeah? Gonna make a giant mess on my cock?”

“U-Uh huh!”

He hisses, brows furrowing in determination. Jaw clenching, Taehyung vigorously pounds into you, fingers tangling in the sheets by your head. Your noises rise in volume as your orgasm speed towards you like a bullet train, closer and closer until–

You scream, back arching like a bow, your soul dropping into the pool of euphoria waiting to embrace you. You loudly moan as its fingers caress you, stroking the most intimate parts of you while your pussy paints Taehyung’s cock white, not even aware of the clear liquid splashing all over the two of you. You sink deep into that pool, ascending into spaces you’ve never reached before. Your eyes grow heavy, and your hearing is reduced to a high-pitched ringing.

You shut your eyes to rest for a few seconds, just to wholeheartedly enjoy euphoria’s touch. However, when you wake, you discover you’ve been tucked under the blankets. You frown and sit up, only to pause at the feeling of cloth on your body. You glance at yourself. You’re no longer in the costume; rather, in a large oversized tee.

What the hell?

“You’re awake.”

At his voice, you seeks him out. He enters the bedroom with a bowl of your favorite snack and a glass of water.

“What happened?” you quietly ask him.

His lips stretch into a smug smirk. “You squirted. Hard. Then you passed out, but I cleaned you up and made sure you were comfortable.” He offers you the snack and water. “I bring refreshments.”

Your cheeks flare with heated embarrassment. “I-I passed out? From squirting?"

“Yup.” Taehyung chuckles, crawling into bed beside you. “It was pretty hot, not gonna lie. I came on your tummy instead of inside you like I wanted, but it’s okay. Your health and safety comes first.”

You shyly sip your water, leaning back on the pillow. “Did you like it, at least?”

“Hm?” Taehyung peeks at you. “Like what?"

You bashfully divert your gaze. “The outfit.”

A low chuckle. “I loved it, baby. You looked so pretty in it while I fucked you, and those tights… Goddamn.��

You quietly giggle, bowing your head, your hair falling and curtaining your red face. Taehyung brushes it behind your ear. “I loved it, babydoll.”

“Really?” You peek at him.

“Mhmm.” Taehyung twines an arm around your waist, tugging you close. “If you order another costume next time, tell me. I wanna see you put it on.”

“N-Next time?”

“Oh, baby.” Another chuckle rumbles in his throat. He presses a kiss to your ear. “There’s always a next time with you.”

© thekaykery 2023

[eggos030]

Tipsin' | KTH

Suggested Play . . . Doin' Time by Lana Del Rey

Summary ➧ WHO would of thought that your now ex Fiance got up and left you in the middle of Paris? with no shelter or no regret and the self loathing mother of his. It was meant to be a trip for the both of you to finally bath in each others love.

but what do you know? nothing but a man wondering the streets of Paris wanting to get away from his famous life style knows what.

❝ Pairing ❞ IDOL!Kim Taehyung x Fem!Reader

⌫ Genre ⌦ ONESHOT, Fluff, Angst, plus maybe something suggestive?? Strangers to lovers

↲ Warning's ↳ TAEHYUNG IN PARIS CAUSE I SAID SO, Swearing, cheating cause your husband is a dick, the reader just throws her life out the window after it tho, taehyung is so sweetest,

➜ A/N ꒱ I AM SO SORRY FOR HOW LONG THIS TOOK. I never intended for this to take so long and some of you have been waiting for this and there for I sincerely apologize but yippy! its out now after who knows how long. If I ever tried to write again please probably expect the same behavior where I will take 6 months to upload a short one-shot, but it out and I will hopefully learn my lesson and try to be more time-crunch-worthy. I hope you all enjoyed this and have a great day/afternoon/night!

Please tell me if your wish to repost it but do not claim as your own!

You regret the whole thing.

Why did you put some much effort in if it was only to end out like this?

Why did you trust them? Why did you trust him if his mother came to spoil the trip with the excuse of ‘it will just be some good old family time’ when your fiance agreed to make this a trip for just the two of you?

They left you simply because you weren’t just the right for his wrench of his mother.

You were waiting at Cathedrale Notre-Dama de Paris and the way they decided to cut ties was simply to just wave off a text.

Oh dear, I’m so very sorry. I know it wasn’t for the best to end it this way but I simply can’t hold it in, I don’t love you.

I never have.

Why would I continue if I grew out of it?

The hotel reservation is cancelled and your belongings are waiting for you outside.

what a lame gimmick.

How were you meant to process this? you were surrounded by a crowd if you started crying it would cause a scene.

What did you even do to deserve this?

Now, what did you do to deserve this??

while having a quiet breakdown and struggling to find your way back to the 30-minute walk hotel, only searching for what you have in your purse in case someone thought it was free luggage, you lost the track of time.

The sun was painfully setting quick as the street lights turned on causing panic to settle in. You have nowhere to stay because hell knows if the same expensive hotel would let you stay for a night under $30 within your card. You settle on the rock wall on a bridge watching the sun merge into the ground, you weigh your options to find a bar and drink away your sorrows in hopes of finding a kind that would let stay within their abode for a day or two.

And a kind soul you did find.

Within your sappy sorrows and bubbling panic festering inside you, you never took aware of your surroundings as a telling figure approaches you.

" ma’am? Are you okay? " a deep yet so soft and gentle voice woke you up from your daydreaming. Your head slowly turns to the left to find a gorgeous man.

He wore a simple white button-up and some simple brown dress suit pants. simple yet outstandingly attractive, he was truly something to gaze upon which you got distracted by immediately.

He gets more worried when you haven't responded so he asked again.

" oh " was all you could muster " Oh! Me! "

He agreed with a distressed nod but a small smile crackled on his face, god he's, even more, prettier with a smile.

" I'm sorry, it's just I noticed you were crying? "

You were crying?

You quickly wipe your check to feel the tears, realizing you had cried you were quick to reassure him.

" oh, I'm okay I swear it's just been a really tough day " you stuttered through your sentence for a moment but begin to realize your situation again, He saw the swift change of emotions within your expression.

" oh no, I'm so sorry " why is he so nice?

" It's okay! you don't need to apologize, it was probably better than what others might do" ew, that was the fattest lie you've ever said, and hate it.

He grew curious about the case. " I know this might sound very weird since well we only meet within like 5 minutes but do you maybe wanna tell me about it? "

His voice was soft and gentle again while his eyes lock onto yours, he looked at you with such care as you would shatter within a touch, unlike your now ex-fiance.

" over a drink? " you suggested with a weary tone like you were stepping on eggshells.

He softly grins.

" I don't see why not "

Literally, 6 hours ago your fiance broke up with you and left you in Paris all by yourself with no remorse, you wandered around Paris, and then found the most handsome yet caring man that could ever exist.

either god knew you needed a reset on your man choices or he just chose you to be the lucky one today cause here you are in an old people's bar with a man you never thought you could ever come across.

it didn't take you very long to chug down a couple of drinks to block out your bugging problems but there was a habit on this behalf of drinking.

you get very chatty.

You two got chatting away and learned his name was Kim Taehyung, you thought Kim was a very suitable last name next to your's but you weren't sure if he could handle you any longer, but he didn't seem to mind when he told you his side of his problems. It turns out that Taehyung is a big Korean pop star with tons of fans running after him and his friends, there are only small times when he can take a break from it for a while which in this case is the trip he's currently on.

" Pairs was and always is calming to me. I come here often because the place holds a lot of meaning to many people whether it would be for love or the aesthetic of the city maybe even the history but for me personally? I only come here for the art, it's pretty and wonderful to look at like you could make art here yourself which I do by taking pictures from time to time. "

He spoke with clear passion in his eyes like a dog just got a treat or you gave an iPad to a 9-year-old for the first time, it was something you adored to watch while spending such a small time with him.

You managed somehow to complement some input to his passion.

" wow," he looked at you confused by the sudden input.

" I mean like it would make sense knowing that you like have such a busy lifestyle with this whole idol career. " you back yourself up but he hums realizing what you meant.

" ah, well it's not that bad really " he tries to reassure you but you give him a blank stare causing him to giggle" really it's not! sure some threats and weird people but aside from that we have very loving fans who are very supportive who loves us to bits and so we repay them back with the same love " you smile softly at his kindness for random kids start to show again.

" I think that is very kind of you " He looks at you searching threw your eyes for a lie only to find true honesty with a smile " I mean you've never really met all of them and yet you try so hard to give back the love they give you in your dark times just like what you do for them right? "

He nods with a grin " yeah " he pauses before saying it again.

you gaze upon the old people around you as the jazz band starts to play a cover of fly me to the moon by Frank Sinatra, you smile as some of them get up to dance.

" you know, I really like Frank Sinatra "

you look at him realizing the distance between the two of you, you lean on your left arm as Taehyung leans closer to you on his right arm, he looks back at you waiting " yeah? " you question speaking softly like the whole world could listen to you.

" yeah. " His smile slowly forms into a grin " He makes me want to dance "

" Really? " you giggle as you also start to grin, damn that cocktail is getting to you quickly.

" yeah, I'm serious " He starts to giggle and grin but it slowly dies down, he mutters something while breaking eye contact to get up and move to the dance floor making you confused.

" what are you doing? " you quickly question not having a clue what he's doing until he starts to move his feet to the beat and his arms swing to the bass.

"I'm dancing " He states waving his arms out proudly.

" you dance like a dork " you laugh as he covers his heart pouting like a sad puppy.

you watch him dance his heart away before getting up to join him. He quickly turns around at the feel of arms wrapping around his to find you swinging and swaying to the beat as well, He smiles as he brings you closer wrapping an arm around your waist and slipping his hand into yours.

" Is this alright? " He leans down to your ear and softly asks, his low rasp sends shivers down your spine as you nod softly before placing your head onto his shoulder.

" Is this okay? " you ask with a whisper " fine with me, sweetheart" he responds with a small comforting smile as you close your eyes and bathe in his warmth welcoming the flush forming on your cheeks as your heart beats faster.

You both slowly rock to the beat letting the world slip from your grasp and hold each other like it could end any moment, you're enveloped by his rich expensive cologne by who knows what fancy brand but you would never want to let it go, his soft yet calluses decorated his fingertips but his big hands held your waist perfectly when from time to time he would gently move his hand tracing your spine and moving back down past your waist just to your tail bone before moving to its original spot.

This man cradles you so gently that could make you melt in seconds but it makes you think that your ex-fiance never held you like, questions start pouring through as you doubt if there were signs earlier in your relationship that you missed.

Taehyung glances down at you finding you dazed and spaced out " is something on your mind? " You look back up at him and find him with a worried expression.

" oh it's fine " you spoke softly smiling as the wave of emotions collided with each other, the alcohol swaying deep inside but it was evident to everyone you thought especially to him.

He paused for a moment searching through your eyes before speaking " I know we haven't spent much time together but it wouldn't hurt to tell a stranger what's on your mind? "

He wasn't wrong, I always thought that it might be therapeutic to just realize everything to someone who wouldn't remember about it an hour later.

"Well, my reason for being here originally was to spend some time with my fiance and his mother because he proposed not long ago " Taehyung's warm and happy expression dropped from the words.

" oh, but if you were here with them then where are they? they must be worried about you " He started to draw away from me but I quickly grabbed onto his shoulders pulling him back in and provoking him to look perplexed.

" He left me. "

Taehyung stands in shock. Why would someone leave someone so captivating, gracious, thoughtful, and witty as you? un-answered questions racing through he gazed down at you.

"Why? " was all that came out of him. He stood stunned by the words that left you as confusion formed a frown on his face " why would anyone even . . . " he was truly baffled.

"It's okay though, with trial comes error right? " you smile back at him, his gaze slowly falls to pity as you let the words fall out " I'll just call a family member, or " you slowly start to stutter, struggling to find the next pair of words until you feel a soft grasp of his hands holding yours leading you off the dance floor.

As the two of you sit down he holds you close whispering sweet gentle comforts in your ear as you calm down by the warmth he radiates and the gentle caresses of his thumb while he has your hand.

"Look, this might not be the best-suited place for you to tell me how terrible your so-called husband is but I have a beautiful view of the Eiffel tower from my hotel suite if you want to complain about your problems there. "

You slowly look up to meet his caring gaze and with a nod, you were whisked away from your savior of the night.

TAGLIST: @midnight-the-shadow-wolf , @osakis-gf , @itsme-mel

[its-straykeedz]

purple person ; kth

pairing: kim taehyung x afab!reader

genre: angst, fluff, a bit suggestive in the end

tw: mentions of body-shaming, mentions of hurtful comments, reader is self-conscious about her physical appearance, mentions of a breakup;

requested!

please do keep in mind that english is not my first language, therefore if you spot any typos/mistakes let me know!

you can find my masterlist here ♡

© jtothehopeworld ] don't copy/plagiarize/translate any of my works or post them elsewhere.

⛅︎

Kim Taehyung is utterly in love with you. 

He tells you every day - it’s the first thing he tells you when you wake up in his arms and the last thing he whispers into your ear at night as he hugs you, one arm around your waist and nose buried in your hair as he breathes in the scent of your shampoo. He also loves to tell you when you least expect it - he loves to see your cheeks and ears turn red when he whispers those three little words on your lips right before he leans in and kisses you. 

Taehyung loves you - you’re sure of that. You never once doubted him - never in all the years you’ve been together. Even when he has to leave for months due to his busy schedule and tours all around the world - he’d always find a way to make you feel loved and appreciated. He’d send you cute selfies with sweet captions just to tell you how bad he’s missing you - how much he misses sleeping next to you, how it’s not the same, to fall asleep on a cold, lonely hotel bed. 

Taehyung loves you and he always finds a way to show it - that’s why you trust his judgement when he tells you he’s ready to announce your relationship to the whole world. You’re taken aback at first - how could you not? It’s a huge deal, and you’re a bit scared to take such a big step, but Taehyung makes you feel safe and loved and appreciated, and you trust him. 

He announces it through his social media’s stories while he’s on tour - posting a couple picture you took months before. It’s a nice picture, but you don’t exactly look the cutest - though Taehyung claims it’s his favorite picture of you. He says that whenever he misses you, he scrolls down his camera roll to look for that specific picture to ease his low spirits - your smile is so bright and contagious. He’s kissing you on the cheek as you do the “v” sign with your fingers - it’s definitely his favorite picture, you both look so genuinely happy and in love, happier than ever. 

You’re not ready for what happens next. As predicted, the news of Kim Taehyung - a member of the world’s most famous kpop group - spread fast, and so do the comments. There’s who’s happy for you and congratulates with the idol, and there’s who isn’t but doesn’t spread hate. 

Then - there are those comments which you really shouldn’t read, because deep down you know it’s all bullshit. You knew what you were getting yourself into when you’d started going out with Taehyung - you knew he was worldwide famous and that dealing with fans isn’t always a pleasant and easy matter, and you definitely knew you weren’t as perfect as all those idols people shipped him with. 

Though - you weren’t expecting to receive that much hate for your physical appearance. 

Why does it matter anyways? Why are people so damn obsessed with one’s looks? Why would they comment such hurtful shit just to make one feel bad? What do they even gain from doing that? It’s mean and pointless.

You know you’re chubby - you don’t need haters to tell you that. You are perfectly aware of the way you look, and you’ve never really felt self-conscious about it - you didn’t think it played an important role in your relationship with Taehyung.

Apparently, it does to some people. 

Taehyung’s not really aware there’s a shitstorm involving you - he has a busy schedule and has no time to go check what people are saying online. You don’t tell him anything either - you don’t tell him about the hurtful comments about your looks and how people had been body-shaming you since he’d posted the picture. You don’t talk to him about it - you don’t want him to feel bad about it, after all it’s not his fault.

But the days pass and the mean comments just won’t stop. A few people even recognized you at work and started gossiping about you with their coworkers. How isn’t he ashamed of her? or She looks so big compared to him! are just a few of the comments you’ve heard so far, and the truth is - you’re starting to believe them.

⛅︎

When Taehyung comes back home from tour, the first thing he does as soon as he enters your shared apartment is lean in for a kiss - he doesn’t expect you to turn your head so that he ends up kissing your cheek instead of your lips. 

“Why won’t you kiss me? Are you mad at me, jagi?”, he jokes, but immediately notices something’s off with you. 

You’ve been distant lately, replying late to his texts to the point he thought you were deliberately ignoring him. He hadn’t minded - brushing it off thinking you were just too caught up with your job or something. 

“Taehyung…”, you take a deep breath, not ready to voice out your thoughts - but you have to. “We need to talk.”

His eyes widen and nods weakly. He thinks you’re about to give him sad news or something, he’s not ready for what you’re about to tell him - and neither are you. As soon as you utter those five words, he feels as if somebody had just punched him in the guts. We need to break up, you said. 

“Is this a joke? Because it’s not funny, jagiya.”, he lets out a nervous laugh, but returns serious when you don’t laugh along. He feels his head spinning as he’s trying to process your words. 

Break up. Why would you break up with him? Does this mean you’re not happy with him, that you don’t love him? The mere thought’s enough to make tears well up in his dark chocolate eyes, so tired from the international flight and from the jet-lag. 

“I’m serious.”, your voice quivers - you’re on the verge of tears, too. “We need to break up.”, you repeat, but it doesn’t make it any easier for Taehyung to hear. 

“Why?”, he asks quickly - too quickly. He needs to know what’s wrong - he needs to know whether it’s something that can be fixed, that he can fix, because he can’t bare the thought of not being yours. 

You don’t answer him, and he insists, repeating the exact same question - voice broke. 

“Because we’re not meant for each other.”, is all you reply. 

Taehyung’s sure he never heard something more absurd and ridiculous than this. You’re not meant for each other? You’re his fucking soulmate! He was sure of it since he asked you out on a date and found out you were just like him - he had never felt this way before. You complete him, you’re the person who makes him the happiest, you’re all he really misses whenever he’s outside the country.

“You’re lying.” Taehyung states, though a couple of tears escape from his eyes. He doesn’t wipe them off, and you don’t do it for him, which makes it even more real. You’re breaking up with him. “If you’re really doing this, if - if you’re breaking up with me then give me the real reason. I deserve to know the truth.”, his voice trembles and he even chokes on his own words. 

He does, he deserves to know the true reason you’re leaving him. It’s the least you can do - after all the years you’ve spent together, you owe him at least that, honesty. 

“It’s about the comments.”, you don’t look him in the eyes as you speak. “It’s true - what everyone’s saying. I don’t deserve you. You’re… you, and I’m just, well, me.”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”, he argues - anger replacing the sadness.  How could you say something like that right to his face? How could you decide who does and doesn’t deserve him? 

“It’s supposed to mean that your fans are right.”, you swallow the lump in your throat. “You should be with one of those stunning models or- or actresses or, I don’t know, someone like you. Someone who’s perfect.”, you whisper the last words, and a few tears fall from your eyes as well. 

Taehyung’s shocked - too shocked to speak. His girlfriend - the love of his life is now sitting in front of him, telling him she wants to break up. Telling him she doesn’t think she’s worthy of his love, telling him she isn’t perfect. That’s bullshit, Taehyung thinks, because he’s sure you’re perfect - inside and outside - and that you’re the most beautiful he’s ever seen. And he’s seen a lot of women - but they don’t stand a chance compared to you. 

“How can you say that, jagiya?” Taehyung’s tone is much softer now, and he brings his hands to your face - gently cupping it as he wipes your tears off your face with the pads of his thumbs. “You’re perfect.”

You shake your head as a no, and it pains him to see you so torn. “I’m not.”, you cry harder. “I’m so… big compared to you - you’re so fit and handsome and I…”, you hiccup “You should be ashamed of me.”

“Ashamed of you?” Taehyung repeats - hoping you’d realize the absurdity of what you’ve just said. Ashamed, pff. As if Taehyung didn’t talk about you like you put the stars in the sky, as if he wasn’t desperately whipped for you. “Jagiya, are you out of your mind?”

You shake your head as a no once again. 

“I’m not ashamed of you, jagiya. How could I be?”, he rhetorically asks. “Jagiya, anyone who commented those stupid shit is not a fan of mine and they don’t care about me - otherwise they’d just be happy for me, that I found my soulmate. Trust me, I’m going to give those haters a piece of my mind.”

You snap your head up to meet his eyes as soon as the word soulmate leaves his lips. 

“You’re my soulmate, jagi.”, he repeats, placing a soft kiss right on the tip of your nose. “You complete me, my love, how could you think you’re not enough for me? I’m the one who’s not worthy of you, my sweet love. My sweet jagiya.”, he grabs your hands and brings them to his lips, gently kissing them. 

“Don’t say that.”, you scold him. 

“But it’s true.”, he argues, leaving a series of chaste kisses all over your hands and wrists - all the way up to your forearms. “You’re my purple person, jagi.”

“I’m your what?”, you ask him with furrowed eyebrows. 

“My purple person.”, he repeats. “It’s a person with whom you instantly click - the first person you truly love. It’s you, jagiya, it’s always gonna be you.”, he doesn’t stop kissing your skin all the way up to your arms and shoulders until he reaches your neck. He places a soft kiss there, then reaches your lips. “Can I kiss you, my love?”, he asks for permission. 

You nod, and he places his lips on top of yours - they’re a bit salty from the tears. 

“You’re not leaving me, jagiya, are you?”, he asks once he pulls away from the kiss. “Please, tell me you’re not leaving me. We can make this work - we’ll figure everything out like we always do, yeah?”

You nod again, and this time a happy smile spreads on his face. Oh, how you’ve missed that smile… 

“How could you be insecure, my jagiya?”, he rhetorically asks, before pecking your lips once again. “How could you think I don’t love your perfect body?” 

His hands travel all the way down your neck and shoulders to your wrists. “How could you think I don’t love these perfect arms? The arms that hug every night, the arms I want to feel wrapped around me all the time, holding me tight?”, he leaves a series of kisses all over your arms once again.

Then, his hands move to your thighs - one of your biggest insecurities. Taehyung notices the way you tense up as soon as his fingers brush against your clothed skin. “How could you think I don’t love these thighs, hm?”, he hums. “These perfect thighs - I fit so perfectly in between them, it’s like they were made for me, how could I not love them? They look so fucking hot - it doesn’t even matter what you’re wearing.”, he continues to praise you. 

“Taehyung…”, you whisper, feeling a bit embarrassed, but he doesn’t stop. 

His hands travel all the way up to your waist, gently squeezing it. “And your waist, jagiya. God, your waist.”, he bites his lips. “Why would I not love your waist, hm? Fucking perfect.” 

His hands are now on your tummy, and he doesn’t miss the way your breath hitches in your throat as soon as he places his hand on your stomach - hidden by an oversized t-shirt. He lifts the fabric so that his fingers can brush against your naked skin. “Is this what you’re insecure about? Your tummy? It drives me crazy, jagiya. Why would you even hide it under this big shirt, hm? This tummy is going to carry our children one day, my love, how could I not love it?”

Your heart is hammering hard in your chest and you’re sure even the tips of your ears have turned red by now. His hands travel upwards, and he cups your breasts in his hands. “Don’t even get me started on these, jagiya.”, he whispers on your lips, leaning in for another kiss. 

“Do you believe me now?”, he whispers on your lips as he retrieves his hands from under your shirt. You nod, though weakly. “I’m in love with you, jagiya. You’re my purple person, I told you. I love every single inch of your perfect body - I wouldn’t change a single bit of you, jagiya.”

“Taehyung?”, you whisper, caressing his cheek with your fingers. 

“Mh?”

“You’re my purple person, too.”

He grins, then pulls you in for another kiss - this time more passionate, as he lets his tongue brush against your lower lip. “I love you so much, jagiya.”, he mutters between kisses. “Love every single part of you - I feel like you forgot it. Maybe I should remind you how much your body turns me on?”

⛅︎

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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[dollfacerecs]

— kim ⋆ tae ⋆ hyung

kth fic recommendation list by clover. 🍀 ↓

♡ = smut ; ♤ = angst ; ♧ = fluff ; ♕ = favorite

main list

♢ tolerate it ; ♤ || series — by @archivedkookie

⇝ arranged marriage, cheater!taehyung // just the sadness of it all.. the way reader just wants to be loved and the way taehyung just wants to be left alone its so so sad. MANNN.

♢ pending…

[free-imaginations-for-you]

DIMMED LIGHT

ONE SHOT

Kim Taehyung x female Reader 

In this absence of any noise, i felt a very great comfort. It was so quiet you could hear my heartbeat taking on the melody of the rainbeat with every drop that splattered down the car on this rainy night. I still could not believe it, how could he do such a tumult in the restaurant, because his delusional self thought that the waiter was flirting with me. Honestly I must admit that his protective side was always a trait that drew me to him but that strong emotion mixed with the uneasiness he had felt within himself for several weeks, like him and I were moving away from each other, like he could be replaced within a blink of eye, was a deadly poison.

„Who the fuck do you think you are?“ was the last thing he spit with an evil smirk in his face, his eyes burning with pure anger. Everything happened so fast, the next thing I saw was Taehyung's fist slamming merciless into the waiter's face with full force. The awful noise is still in my ears, making me flinch whenever I imagine the scene in front of me. To be honest it‘s not the first time that such thing happened, but he vowed me to control hisself, he promised me that even when he has his outburst I never had to fear him. His outburst tonight was different from the ones I witnessed before. I can’t get it of my mind, how empty and lifeless his eyes were when they met mine while i tried with all my might to calm him down, to prevent the situation from escalating. Actually he was aware I was scared to death, he knew that I get anxious whenever someone get’s in a physical fight. It’s not like he didn’t know how upsetting this situation was for me, but he simply choose not to care about my feelings neither my wellbeing. In this moment he just wanted to prove a point, to me, to the waiter, to the restaurant, to the whole world.

It’s not a surprise that we‘ve had a tense situation for weeks, neither of us trying to state the obvious, that the spark between us is slowly but surely fading away. Words can not express how happy and exciting I was when he suggested the date in the first place. First of all he wasn’t really the romantic lovely dovley type to organize a candlelight dinner for the two of us. So in my irrational mind I thought that this would be the perfect opportunity for me to remind myself of all his good qualities which is why i fell in love with him, really hoping that the guy i fell in love with four years ago is still there waiting for me to put him out of the the dark. It feels like the Taehyung i fell in love with is gone since the day he put this personal success above all else. I‘ve always admired his ambition, but often it feels like he‘s a bird flying higher and higher, without looking back what he‘s leaving behind and I have no choice but to watch him fly from my golden cage that i had unconsciously built for myself since the day i vowed to be there for him no matter what.

Maybe it was the way he knew exactly what to say to me with those sugar sweet little lies or maybe it was me who was willing to believe every lie he told me, like an idiot closing my eyes to the most obvious thing. The way he had the power to destroy every fibre of self confidence and self love i had in me. Making me doubt myself, making me feel like the lowest version of myself. He made me feel so high above the sky, giving me the feeling of protection, love and respect. Actually slowly but surely he made me forget the beauty of the rise, because the feeling of the freefall was an hundred times worse. One positive thing came out of this situation, the fact that he put me through this made me, made me realize that I won‘t let this happen ever again. Not now, not tomorrow, not in an hundred years. Believe it or not, I made up my mind, no force in the world, no-black magic, not even his sprakling brown eves that promised me whole universes and galaxies, could revent me from putting my wishes and wellbeing first. The raindrops hit the ground loudly and relentlessly on this stormy and rainy night, instead of the tears that i vowed not to let fall. Even the cloudy and dark weather was on my side, it felt like the whole word was sharing the feeling of sadness and loneliness with me with every raindrop that fell on the cold ground.

It felt like forever but we‘ve arrived at the apartment. Not a word left our lips since the moment we left the restaurant. In all honesty I wasn‘t even ready to face him, to look him in the eyes after everything he put me through tonight. The second we entered the apartment, I made my way to the couch, I didn't even have the strength to take off my shoes nether my coat nor turn on the light. This darkness gave me a familiarity and comfort, it’s sad to say that’s the way i spend the last couple of weeks waiting for Taehyung to return home. No to be more precise I waited every night in darkness with the hope that he will enlighten the apartment with the light that his old self carried within him. It’s time to wake up from my dream and face reality, the light within him dimmed down, there is not much left of his old self.

„It not my fault, he should‘ve known what he got into the moment he started undressing you with his filthy eyes.“ he stated monotonous in a low voice while standing at the doorframe crossing his arms. „He was not flirting nor undressing me with his eyes, he was simply being polite. If you would pay attention to something other than your self for once in your life, you would have notice that he was like that with all the costumers there.“ I countered as i leaned back at the couch with a firm but calm voice, feeling tired and drained out from this messy situation. „I couldn‘t fucking care less how he acted with other women. What i don‘t tolerate is the fact he could not take his eyes off what‘s mine.“ he said angrily not understanding why you would try to defend him.

„Are you even listening to yourself? First of all i‘m not your possession and secondly just admit that you just wanted to make a point and show everyone that no one can mess with you and you enjoyed the feeling of megalomania, that you‘ve gotten used to over the last few months at my fucking expense, without wasting a fucking thought on how I felt the whole time.“ i voiced out my voice nearly breaking, feeling like every word i uttered turned to smoke slowly fading away, not even reaching him. „That‘s not true and you fucking know it.“ he said feeling hurt, trying his best not to give weight to the words you just spit. To say that he was unaffected by your statement would be a lie. The only way Taehyung could prevent himself from shutting out completely and distancing himself, was by making you feel the crushing grief he is feeling deep inside his heart. „Don’t you think that if you would know your fucking boundaries from the beginning we wouldn‘t be here in the first place. Do I have to remind you whenever we leave the door that you are in a relationship? Stop being „nice“ to every fucking male you meet, that‘s making you look so fucking pathetic.“ he screamed his voice getting louder and louder with every word coming out of his mouth, the pure sarcasm in his voice while saying the word nice didn’t go unnoticed by me. His eyes were filled with pure rage and pain. I shook my head closing my eyes not wanting to believe that he could say such hurtful things to me.

„We are over.“ i simply said those 3 words that have been lingering in my mind for so long, while standing up from the couch, feeling like a weight was lifted off my soulders. „What do you mean?“ he asked feeling panic and anxiety starting to grow inside his thorax. „I‘m so done with the way you‘ve been treating me the last couple of months I deserve so much better than this.“ i stated while pointing at us. „I gave you everything I had inside of me and you gave me nothing but pain in return. You are not the Taehyung i fell in love with, you are not the person I vowed to love, to look after, to never leave and let go anymore. Actually you don’t respect me nether do you love me after all those words you said to me and I can‘t continue this relationship for another moment.“ i confessed what I had in my mind for so long, finally making up my mind for good. He felt his heart shatter, making it impossible for him to utter a word while watching you leave the door. The best thing that ever happened to him left and he couldn‘t do nothing but watch you leave.

[kimthwariru]

Like the wind

pairing: Taehyung x reader

(+Jungkook)

genre: smut, enemies to lovers, angst, collage au, rich kid!Taehyung

Masterpost

Chapter 3: flashbacks

You were used to having cold showers by now. You’d first tried it when you’d read on some health site that it was supposed to help with skin and stress. You didn’t know about the skin part, but you truly felt way more relaxed when you showered with cold water. You’d get so distracted with how cold it was, that there was no time to overthink—a task you often did while showering. Something you truly did not need right now.

Because there was a list of questions in your head waiting to be checked out. Questions you had no answers to, and would probably never get.

Why was Kim Taehyung such an asshole?

Why did he act the way he did?

Why did he fuck you over like that?

How can someone place a bet over who they’re fucking?

That dude was disgusting, but what was worse was the fact that, for mere moments, you’d fallen for his lies. You thought that maybe, there was something there. That maybe that boy you’d met years ago was starting to resurface.

But no. Kim Taehyung was a fucking monster who didn’t care about anyone’s feelings but his own.

Frustration clawed at your chest as you closed your eyes under the ice cold water.

Your mind travels to Marloom 4 years ago, a port near Outfield where fishermen and boat crew mostly lived. It was probably the poorest region outside the wall, which was why you were so surprised when you saw Taehyung there, sitting at the edge of the deck, his bare feet brushing along the waves. He was like a picture.

“y/n!” He’d called out “check this out” he’d showed you a book you’d been trying to get your hands on forever which unfortunately, was limited edition and way out of your budget.

“No way!!” You smiled “How did you even manage to get that?”

He shrugged his shoulders “The publishing company works for my dad” he handed it to you “it’s yours”

“You’re kidding!?”

“No, take it. Read it and tell me if it’s worth the trouble.”

“Of course I will. Thanks, Tae”

He smiled at that, but his expression quickly faded into a sad grimace “Hey, are you alright? What are you doing in Marloom anyway?”

“I don’t feel lonely here. Local folks don’t even recognize my face, to them I am just a teenager, not Kim Taehyung, so they will scold me for chasing ducks, yell when I steal the ropes to climb some tree… there’s even an old lady that gives me these vanilla cookies every Sunday, somehow they make me feel less lonely”

You’d basically forgotten that Kim Taehyung was this well known prince of Hashfield that would take his father’s place one day. His face would feature in many magazines. ‘Prince Charming’ was one of the many nicknames given to him by the media, but, to you, he’d always been Tae.

“Did I tell you about the novella I’ve been reading?” You tried to change the subject the minute you saw his eyes turning sad. Today would’ve been a month since his mother had left without even saying goodbye, or where she was going.

“About the knight who doesn’t know whether to speak or die.? I think you told me already.”

Obviously you had mentioned it and forgotten. “Yes.”

“Well, does he or doesn’t he?”

A handsome young knight is madly in love with a princess. And she too is in love with him. Though she seems not to be entirely aware of it.

Despite the friendship the blossoms between them or perhaps because of that very friendship, the young knight finds himself so humbled and speechless

He knows they are from two different worlds. The princess was to marry soon, and he’d be serving the new king until the day he died.

So, despite his feelings, he's totally unable to bring up the subject of his love.

Till one day he asks the princess point blank

Is it better to speak or to die?

“Better to speak, she said. But she’s on her guard. She senses a trap somewhere.” You replied

“So, does he speak?”

“No, he fudges.”

“Figures. People never say what they truly feel”

“If you speak, you risk rejection, or worse. The knight could be exiled from the kingdom. . .But if you don't speak, then you keep the words inside you, you essentially kill them, let them die with you, and you risk nothing. Which one would you choose?”

His honey eyes reached yours and for a second you’d forgotten your name. “I’m not sure which would be more suitable…”

He made a pause.

“To expose your depth and your darkness, to expose the most personal parts of yourself? To present yourself to the world with your skin flipped inside out? Or to keep a fire bubbling within, never unburdening yourself by letting go of the passionate energy pounding in your lungs? To suffocate, never releasing the words from your throat. To die with a legacy or to have your beliefs, mind, thoughts remain unknown, to let your mind leave with your body. A well known library book or a diary that has never been invaded. Realistically, I’d choose to die, but I knew I would regret it later on”

You loved the way his mind worked. The way he’d analyze situations the same way you did. But you couldn’t help but see he was in sorrow, his eyes would wonder around, because maybe if they met yours for too long they’d uncover how hurt he was. “Look I know you don’t wanna talk about it. . .but what you said earlier, about feeling lonely. I feel like that all the time. I’m only saying this because I want you to know you’re really not alone in that feeling. In case you think you are.”

He averted his stare from the sea to your eyes “You know what’s really funny? When I seem to get really lonely you’re the person that happens to be there…and…I guess, I’m lucky for that because you seem to have a soothing effect on me. You know, the things I would normally worry about, they don’t really feel that warring when I talk to you”

Fuck.

You close your eyes and let the water drops his your face. Cold showers were the only thing that prevented you from overthinking, but it looks like this time, your thoughts had taken over.

Taehyung P.O.V

It was cold.

Not that he expected to find warmth and comfort, but he couldn’t help but notice it seemed to be colder than usual. While he walked down the silent corridors, Taehyung wondered when was the last time this house had felt like a home, and not just a shelter with a roof under which he barely existed.

He guesses it was a long time ago. Before his mother had left. The process took him back to a long lost summer, too many years ago, when the walls were still vibrating with life and happiness. That there was even a time in which he had walked barefoot, with just his trunks on in the middle of the winter, without feeling cold, was such a preposterous thought he sometimes wondered whether it had really happened at all, or it was just a fantasy his mind had made up.

It was not a fantasy, and he knew it.

Taehyung knew there was a time he had loved his life, and that he was believed to be destined for greatness. To inherit this big empire his dad had carefully laid out for him.

All bullshit. 

He quickly pushed these pointless thoughts to the corner of his mind where they belonged, to focus on the more pressing matter of why his house had suddenly become as cold as the Antarctic. The answer to that question came when he noticed that every single fireplace was empty.

“Fucking hell” he muttered

It was Maya’s fault - as always - but he couldn’t bring himself to summon their head maid to tell her she had yet again forgotten to light the fire, mostly because it would have just made her cry for thirty minutes, promising him that she’d be more attentive next time. But no matter how many times Maya promised, she always forgot and, to be honest, he didn’t care any more.

Taehyung was conscious this house had long lost its past glory, with the cold that now covered every piece of furniture and treasure his family had been so proud of. He vaguely remembered his father showing off a miniature greek statue of Achilles, whose head was covered in gold, to a distinguished member of the British Royal family, and wondered what his old man would have thought if he knew his son had used the priceless treasure as a target, and had concluded its existence by flinging the remains into the fire.

 After having lit all the fireplaces, he sank heavily into an old velvet armchair and grabbed the bottle on the small table on his left. Not even bothering to acknowledge what it was - honestly it didn’t make any difference - he uncorked it and began to drink straight from the neck.

Irish.

It was definitely Irish whiskey. Although not The Macallan, or perhaps it was just the shittiest bottle ever produced by that brand.

Taehyung took another long swig, Macallan or not it perfectly served its aim. Unfortunately, his busy drinking was interrupted by the sudden appearance of their head maid, Maya.

“I’m sorry to disturb you, sir,” she squeaked in her high-pitched voice, “but mister Logan has come to see you.”

He closed his eyes and set his jaw, mentally cursing his bad luck. “Where is he now?”

“I’m here.”

Logan Everett’s slow deep voice forced Taehyung to lift his eyelids. Time hadn’t been kind to the former Minister of justice, the black of his hair had long ago disappeared to make room for a pure white, his forehead wrinkled and it seemed he needed aid from an emerald embedded cane in order to stand up straight. But time hadn’t been kind to Taehyung either, so he wisely opted to not share his thoughts.

“Hello, uncle Logan” were the words he greeted him with instead, after dismissing Maya with a nod, and before lifting his left arm to offer him the liquor. “Want some? I’m afraid it’s not Macallan but it gets the job done”

Logan twisted his lips into a disapproving grimace as he proceeded to sit on the armchair opposite to him. “It’s 5 o’clock in the afternoon, Taehyung.”

“Do I have to take that as a no, thank you ?”

“Obviously.”

Was it ten years ago? He recalls that’s the last time he’d seen Logan Everett this close. He’d phone Taehyung from time to time, make sure he wasn’t drunk driving himself into a ditch, but other than that, Taehyung’s godfather was nothing but a ghost in his life.

His father’s best friend.

Funny, considering Logan was somewhat of a decent human being, or just, a human being—unlike his father. When his mother was still here, Logan along with his late wife vacationed with them every summer. Taehyung remembers himself running around in Verona, Italy. Logan chasing after him.

It was warm then, unlike now; Taehyung was freezing.

“Is he here? Your father?”

Taehyung took his time to drink again and then shook his head. “No.” Thankfully

“Does he plan to come back soon?”

“As far as I know, he is having the time of his life finalizing some deal in Germany so… no.” He cocked his eyebrows while staring at his Godfather. “What do you need from him?”

To state that the relationship between Logan and his father had deteriorated was an utter underestimation, since the two of them had barely spoken in those long years. When Taehyung had asked why —when he still cared—the cryptic answer Logan gave him was “he destroyed something I cared about”

Nothing surprising there. Ruining others’ lives was his father’s expertise, as Taehyung knew from first hand experience.

“I heard he’s getting you engaged with the Arden family.”

“I’m not getting engaged with anyone” Taehyung replied immediately, taking another sip of Irish while his eyes stayed on the older man.

“Unfortunately, I don’t think it’s your choice to make, kid”

“Uh I’m pretty sure I can’t get engaged if I don’t consent. My dad may be rich but he is not God. Besides, what’s the worst he could do? Exile me from Hashfield? He’d be doing me a favor”

“You’re speaking nonsense” Logan’s hands wrapped around the cane in frustration “Believe it or not, The wall is here to protect you son. To get to the level of wealth your father is right now, he had to make a lot of enemies, powerful people, who would love nothing but his only heir outside the wall, unprotected.”

Every word Logan spoke made less sense than the other “What do you even mean?”

“The less you know the better” There was no hesitation in Logan’s speech. He slowly got up and paced towards Taehyung. Resting a palm in his shoulder “You’re getting older Taehyung, you’re not a little boy anymore.” There was a pause “Get engaged with the Arden Lady. . .people like us, living in our world, we don’t marry for love… but power. We build walls higher than the rest, because we have way more to loose”

The smell of expensive paint, deodorant, high-end perfume, and cigarettes entered your nostrils as you opened the door.

“You need anything madam?” Celine’s maid greeted you, making you feel more out of place than ever. Maids, palaces for homes and stadium like gardens made you question your existence in Hashfield everyday.

“No, thank you” you honeyed your voice. These people were working class—like you. You’ve seen the way insiders treated their staff and it made you sick to your stomach every time, you figure that’s how they’d treat you had you not been accepted into Hashfield College.

“This way, madam”

You look around.

Imagine the interior of the Palace of Versailles—or perhaps those gorgeous buildings in Florence were more like it— gold, marble, mirrors. Large and heavy-looking curtains draped down the sides of the extensive windows and the floor was this sturdy polished oak wood. The contrast between the light colours and the dark ones was just perfectly balanced. It was extraordinarily aesthetically pleasing. You felt so out of your league you thought you’d stain the place.

Underneath all the chemicals you perceived, you could distinguish the smell of wood, which was probably because of the floor. Your eyes glazed over the gorgeous cream-coloured walls, which were decorated with the most awe-inspiring golden ornaments. The place was definitely for the elite. And if the walls weren’t a perfect indication then the silk, ruby red, one of a kind dress Celine was wearing certainly was.

“Y/n!, hey! what’s up?” Jin called you out the minute he laid eyes on you. He’d been extra protective this week, texting you every day to see if you wanted him to bring god damn ice cream like it would make this whole ‘bet’ scandal go away.

It was sweet of him, it really was, but the embarrassment that washed over you when everyone learned about the bet Taehyung had made over who was going to fuck you first, was not going to get better with fucking ice cream.

“Hey guys” you acknowledged everyone in the room. You hadn’t made eye contact with Zed since that night—and you weren’t planning on making any today—your stomach dropped to your knees every time you thought about what had happened.

Kim Taehyung fucked up the relationship between the only insiders you hanged out with.

“Y/n, you know we’ve all been talking about how much of a dick Taehyung is…” Jiyeon started. An apologetic look on her face.

Fucking great.

You specifically had texted Jin about wanting to avoid this situation. He’d promised this would just be a simple hang out with friends, maybe drink a little wine to pass the time and then go back home.

You did not want to talk about the bet that had been placed without your consent. Especially in front of Zed who was swirling his whiskey like it was freaking talking to him.

“What he did was… terrible, he’s always been such an A-hole to girls. But betting over such a thing?” She shook her head “That’s low. Even for him”

“True” added Celine

“Guys. Really. It’s fine” you tried to mask your emotions with a smile “Can we talk about something else?. . . Anything”

• • •

Billie Holiday played softly from the pool radio. Condensation dripped down crystal glasses, and silverware glinted in the bright sunlight. It was a chilly October afternoon, the steady breeze being the perfect interlude.

The chairs were soft, the food was good, and the wine was worth twice your house, but it could only be so comfortable having dinner with a bunch of insiders.

“Anyway, I heard the Arden family is settling matters with The Kim cooparation—”

“Jiyeon.” The word was a low warning from Zed’s spot at the table.

She rolled her eyes and took a deep drink of wine, but she spoke no more.

You couldn’t care less about this conversation. What Taehyung’s father did was none of your business, they could all go drown and you wouldn’t think about it twice—or once— for that matter.

You always pondered Jiyeon’s and Zed’s relationship though. They did appear to find each other annoying, Zed would talk shit about Jiyeon sometimes and so would she. But then you figure, most of these insiders weren’t really friends with each other, they just existed in the same place at the same time. Much like now. Including yourself.

Jin—your only actual friend among these people— was sitting next to you though hadn’t said a word, except for some oddly-timed chuckling. His mind was clearly traveling somewhere else.

Trevor was apparently already devouring his third stake. Making another rude remark towards the house server while downing what seemed to be a liter of Syrah wine all by himself.

And then there was Celine. Whom you knew was the person that tolerated you less from here and didn’t care about not making it obvious.

Celine was your polar opposite. Where you were quiet, she spoke with abandon and laughed loudly. Where you were demure, well . . . she’d stuck her gum to her cloth napkin before eating her pasta, twirling it around the fork at least a hundred times to make sure nothing was getting spilled on her precious dress.

Low chatter and the scraping of silverware filled the yard, but beneath that lay a tense air that wouldn’t dissipate, an uncomfortable vibe the breeze wouldn’t take with it. Everyone seemed to be easily chatting amongst themselves, so maybe it was just you. You tried to brush it off.

Jiyeon —despite Zed’s orders— didn’t stay quiet for long, though she no longer spoke about insider business gossip. She changed the subject to horse racing. That was an acceptable conversation many joined in on.

However you couldn’t help but think about the question Taehyung had made.

“Why are you here?”

Why were you here? Hashfield is a cold shallow place that’s filled with people you don’t like. Their view of the world was so superficial, human relationships were glib, basically meaningless. No one cared what values their friend had, as long as they had more than five cars on their parking lot.

You couldn’t be more different. Your favourite literary period was the Romantic for crying out loud. . .and it was the same for music and art. There was something about the music from the Romantic period which enamoured you. Genuine emotions came through the music. Every time you listened to Chopin, something rooted inside you pushed you to dance. Perhaps the expressiveness, emotions, and escapism were the factors that drew you towards the Romantic period. You wanted to waltz through a room, carefree. Your body moving along to one of Chopin’s masterpieces instead of sitting across from a bunch of insiders.

Maybe you were a coward, but you were glad you didn’t have to sit near Zed. You were carrying out this carefree facade all evening and had a polite response for anything—as inappropriate as the comments could sometimes be when insiders were drinking—but with him, words were at a loss for you. You felt tongue-tied around him, tilted off your point of gravity, and truthfully just embarrassed, as though a blush permanently warmed your skin. It might be unpleasant speaking to him, but it was too easy to look in his direction.

You cringed as you recall what had happened.

-One week ago, Clair’s party-

Your mother used to smoke at the kitchen table in her nightgown after she and your father would scream the house down. So, naturally, you’d picked up her habit of smoking during stressful times.

With your cheeks burning in anger and the cigarette in your hand, it wasn’t lost on you that the apple really doesn’t fall that fucking far from the tree. Kim Taehyung was a fucking asshole just like his father was rumored to be. But for whatever reason, you realize that you’re more mad at yourself for thinking the opposite for even a second.

You closed your eyes and mentally cursed at yourself when you saw Zed approach you.

“Kim Taehyung” Zed’s voice was a low growl “What a fucking idiot”

“Yeah Zed, I know. That bet was stupid and embarrassing and I’m sorry you got dragged down into it-“

“I mean—is he out of his mind? If I was really trying to fuck you I’d be working much harder, trust me. . . Who does he think he is? He thinks he’s better than me or something?”

Wow.

That was definitely not the reaction you were expecting. Zed was a fucking idiot. He’s obviously intoxicated— but you like to call alcohol the truth serum, so yeah, fuck him.

“Oh really? That’s what you’re so mad about? That you think you could fuck me first?” you let anger sip into your tone

Zed’s eyes widened in embarrassment when he realized his tongue had run faster than his brain “No, y/n look—“ he stammered “all I’m saying is he shouldn’t have placed that bet alright? I mean, I wouldn’t want to fuck you anyway”

You gave him a deadly stare

“That came out wrong! I’m sorry—all I’m trying to say is-“

“Honestly, I bet that whatever you’re trying to say isn’t even important, so how about you get out of my sight?”

Why was it such a surprise to you that Zed was as much of an asshole as the others?

You kept feeling naive lately.

Lunch continued with meaningless chatter, good food and drink, but the tension never dissipated. It sat there, uninterrupted. Like an echo before the words were even spoken.

You remember the first time you met Mina and Namjoon. They were both decently shy kids that gravitated towards each other because their mums were best friends. Seokjin came on later in the picture, Mina was skeptical about him at first because he was an insider, but his true colors surfaced and everyone realized he was a decent human being unlike the rest of them. Eventually, you four became close and the rest was history.

“Feels good to party outside the wall after so long huh?” Seokjin’s smile had basically reached his ears as he handed you a drink

“You can’t imagine” you quickly agreed “I’d forgotten people actually danced at parties”

“How did Mina manage to make such cool friends in Uni? I swear she self diagnosed herself with social anxiety last year.” Namjoon added

“I heard that, asshole” Mina suddenly made an appearance from Namjoon’s back. “And I promised my self I’d change unlike you” she downed what was left of her drink “You’ve made like… two new friends? And one of them is your cousin” she burst a laugh.

But her laughter soon faded away once she made eye contact with you “How are you doing?” She made a pause “Kim Taehyung. That asshole, I hope his house burns down or something.”

“He has like three whole mansions” you rolled your eyes and smiled at her

“Whatever” she took a sip

Four drinks in was when you decided that a bathroom break was more needed than you’d thought.

Stumbling a bit along the narrow hallway, you managed to find your way into the bathroom. To be fair, it was much easier to navigate a normal house as opposed to the three story mansions you were used to these past months.

“Ahh somebody would think you’re stalking me, angel“

Your heartbeats collided with a crash at the familiarity of the voice.

A burning rush of recognition ran down your spine as you met Jungkook’s heavy gaze. Brown doe eyes hugged by thick long eyelashes and a killer smile.

Jungkook was so much more dangerous than he looked. But that was what made him lethal. Because just by looking at those sweet eyes and that picture perfect smile, you wouldn’t be able to imagine how easy it would be for him to break your heart.

What was he even doing here? This was a one hour drive from Hashfield, and a party filled with people that didn’t really match his ‘status’.

You weren’t curious enough to ask.

“Move” was what you spat at him instead.

“Damn y/n. . . You’re breaking my heart”

Why had your name rolled of his tongue like he was more than familiar with it? Well you guess, because it was. . . Considering the fling you two had back in the day.

Another experience ruined by Kim Taehyung.

“Oh I’m sure you’ll get over it. Now, move”

He smiled.

An outrageous smile.

“Since when did you become such an ice queen?”

An even more outrageous question. “Uhh I don’t know, maybe since you and your little friends constantly fucked me over?” It’s ridiculous that you’re even talking to him right now, but somehow you couldn’t hold yourself back.

This hallway was narrow, narrower than you’d like. So when you tried to make your way past him, it was easy for him to pull you back with a simple hand movement.

He suddenly seemed to get ahold of his drunk self “Y/n about that… I just wanted to say I’m sorry, it was a shitty thing to do”

“Yeah, you think?” You don’t hold back the anger and bitterness sip into your tone, Jungkook deserved nothing less. “Let go”

An evil grimace formed, and the way he slightly came closer made your stomach drop. “I don’t really want to”

“I can smell the alcohol in your breath, Jungkook. Let go”

“I can assure you I’m very sober right now” he followed your order and took a step back, letting your hand slide down his fingers

You hadn’t talked to Jungkook since the whole fiasco between you him and Taehyung, yet this moment was enough to remind you the pull he had on you.

An annoying pull you had no control over.

“Y/n, I really am sorry. . . About everything”

You took a long sight, forgiving Jungkook for all the bullshit he’d done in the past was not on today’s to-do list. “Apologizing doesn’t take what you did back. It just puts me in a shitty position of having to decide wether you’re worth forgiving or not.”

“I know. I know. It’s selfish of me to say it now but uhm, I don’t think I’d get another chance so…”

“I get it, but I don’t think I’m ready to forgive you Jungkook.” You breathed in a shallow breath as you walked passed him and got into the bathroom.

It was the right thing to do. Jungkook was not the person you needed to talk to right now.

You closed your eyes and the mumbled music brought you back to the last time you had actually talked to him.

Outfield central club, two years ago

“I’m telling you pink brings out your eyes you should wear it more often” you jokingly pushed his shoulder. Jungkook didn’t need any color to bring out his eyes, they did a fine job being the center of attention on their own.

He smiled and pulled you closer by grabbing your waist. A signature move of his, you’d wondered how many girls had fallen for that trick. “There you go, romanticizing me again” he stood still but his eyes burned with intensity. “It’s too late for me, angel. I destroy everything beautiful that comes into my life”

That was not entirely wrong.

Sure, you and Jungkook had become extremely close this past year, the closest you’d been with an insider besides SeokJin and well, Kim Taehyung. But you felt comfortable around him, playboy reputation aside, there were times when he seemed genuine, sincere and kind.

Despite his rumors, Jungkook was not a bad person, which is surprising considering he hanged out with the devil himself, Kim Taehyung.

You and Jungkook clicked. You liked the same bands, enjoyed the same movies felt the same way when Jenna Jones and Brandy broke up. (She was too good for him)

“I don’t believe that. I think you’ve just convinced yourself that your not worth something serious because when you start to really care about someone it scares you”

His eyes got bigger “I care about you, and I’m not all that scared”

Gosh with the way he was smiling right now he had to have known how much you’d been crushing over him this past year.

You sighted. You wanted to put a chink in the ice he wore like armor. Stepping closer you ran a finger across his jawline, your voice soft “You have such a handsome face. Does it always get you everything you want?”

“Almost”

There was something so significant about that single word it put a hitch in your breath. “I bet one look from you can make women swoon at your feet”

He grow, probably annoyed that you brought up his popularity again. “Yet here you stand, perfectly not swooned”

You laughed lightly “Oh I wouldn’t say that”

He stared down at you.

You stared up at him.

As a corner of his lips lifted, You realized you were amusing him. “What?” You broke the silence

“Nothing” he shook his head “I shouldn’t really be here, Taehyung would kill me”

“What does Taehyung have to do with this?” You said firmly. Pretending the mere mention of his name didn’t bring your blood to boil.

“He’s just weird about me talking with you. He thinks we shouldn’t mix” he let out a breath

“We? As in. . . outsiders and insiders?”

He was a fucking asshole

“Cmon angel. . . You know how he is”

“Well, fuck him” You said, trying to take a step back, but his hand went to your lower back and drifted to the top of your ass. Your stomach tightened with unease.

Jungkook had always been subtly inappropriate—his fingers just grazing things they shouldn’t. Close enough to make you pleasantly uncomfortable, but not too close to where it would be considered something. If he went further, would you be able to handle it?

Jungkook pulled back to look you in the eye, but his hand didn’t leave you. Something crawled under your skin. You realized at this moment why you couldn’t escape the spell he seemed to have everyone under.

He buried his head on your neck before pulling back again “I could smell you all day, you know that?”

You stared at his big bright innocent eyes. Jungkook was the picture perfect son, or that’s what every magazine wrote, at least. He was kind and flirty to everyone, and could make every person in the room feel happy just by flashing a smile. That’s why he was so popular in the media. But what you found the most intriguing about his appearance, however, was the dark ink that showed through his white dress shirt. It was vague, but you thought it went all the way from his shoulder to the gold watch on his wrist. Jeon Jungkook had a full sleeve. You knew that «good kid» look was all smoke and mirrors.

He was looking at you as if he’d felt you observing him “I feel like you get lost in that head of yours sometimes” his smile was a soft one, the one he’d flash the paparazzi sometimes when he wanted to take an innocent looking picture.

“What can I say, thinking is my favorite hobby” you joked

“So. . . what do you think about me?” That smile never left his face

That you’re dangerous “I can be honest?”

“Please be”

“I was skeptical about you at first, I mean, your crowd, you know, they don’t have the best reputation, especially amongst outsiders. But as I got to know you, I’ve found that you’re the best exception to the rule ever”

“I am?” His eyes looked as if he’d succeeded at something

“Yeah, you are” your pulse leapt into your throat at the thought of your next words “I think I really like you, Jungkook—”

His name wasn’t even properly out of your mouth yet his lips locked on top of yours. He sucked slightly on your bottom lip, and he tasted as sweet as his reputation had been.

It was two days later that Taehyung had told everyone Jungkook hitting on you was a total prank.

You felt destroyed, defeated, because you had honestly fallen for Jungkook, but the disgust took every single feeling away. It took over your body for months, and you cried it out until you felt numb to it.

How shitty does a person have to be to do that? Yet how easily could you forget everything Taehyung had done to you? Your mind took you back to the «sober corner» and reminded you of everything you and Taehyung did together. But mostly what was more fucked up was how intense your feelings were for him. A person that never did right by you.

You closed your eyes shut and with a deep breath you let all the anger wash out of you. You decided that the pitty party was over as you had a very real party waiting for you on the other side of that door.

• • •

It had maybe hit four when Namjoon had finished throwing up for the third time tonight.

“What do you think y/n? Three or four months of teasing for this?” Mina bumped you in the shoulder

“I don’t know Mins” you let a laugh out “Let him live a little, he’s had a rough week”

So had you.

“You turned soft y/n, is it the change of the wall?” She teased

“Oh yes! Cause being around insiders all day turns me into such a softie!”

She chuckled at that but after a moment her eyes turned serious “You sure you don’t want to talk bout it?”

“Mina, don’t” you warned “Talking about it won’t change anything”

“It might change how you feel”

“I doubt it” You faked a smile, knowing Mina wouldn’t buy it anyway “So tell me all about that guy from the Kim’s firm!! What was his name? C something? It definitely had an E there was well—”

“Cedric, his name is Cedric” she rolled her eyes “Yeah well, I think he likes me. . . I mean he was aallll over me earlier” she smiled to herself.

“Well duh!!” You made a noise of acknowledgment, not surprised it had taken her this long to come to that assumption. The obvious was like a well hidden secret in Mina’s eccentric mind. Surprising, as she’d always aced her schoolwork, read people like a morning paper and had more friends than you could ever hope for.

“And I kept thinking, maybe there’s a reason he manspreads so much? He is big. Then I began to worry, so I started looking up pictures—well, videos—of men his size, naked, and that only made me worry more.”

“You were watching porn.” You said, deadpan, leaning by the side of Seokjin’s car while he fed Namjoon what seemed to be a hotdog? Where did he even get that?

She tilted her head “Yeah, I guess that’s what it’s called.” She turned around and followed your gaze “Okay where the hell did he get that hotdog from? I’m starving”

“Mina!! Hello? You were watching. . .” You lowered your voice “porn, for a guy? To like what? Prepare yourself? See if he’d fit?” A laugh escaped you but when Seokjin shot you a glare you turned it into a cough.

“Anywayyyys” she said as she opened the car door “Speaking of Cedric, I’ve got news!”

“Oh” was what you said when you got in the car, guessing the next sentence that’d come out of her mouth wasn’t going to be your favorite thing in the world.

“The Kim and Arden family are trying to make the engagement official”

“Trying…?”

“Jesus y/n, you’re living under a rock. Too many books not enough TV”

“You’re going to be a great mum” you chuckled

“Taehyung is literally all over the media, apparently some paparazzi interviewed him on the street last night, he said, and I quote! What my father wants is non of my business, I would rather eat a bag of dirt” she stopped “A bag. Of. Dirt.” she jerked her head backwards laughing “Listen, I don’t like the dude, but he’s got balls”

Relief shouldn’t be what you’re feeling right now. “I see” you tried to sound indifferent, because that was the acceptable reaction, but something pounded inside of you.

“I mean, acting up like that? In front of cameras? ANNND against his dad’s word? Makes you wonder why he’s so against it, doesn’t it?”

You rolled your eyes “What are you implying, Mina?”

She had a puppy look on her face “Nothing! Nothing! I’m just sayinggg”

“He’s young, and a massive playboy” you sounded more angry than you should “He obviously doesn’t want to be caged like a pup. Besides, he can’t tolerate Brianna for more than a second”

“And you know that because…?” Mina was obviously teasing.

Fuck. “Well, you know he told me, Mina.”

Of course Mina knew, but Seokjin, who was driving, and Namjoon, who was sitting on the edge of the passenger sit looking out the window probably contemplating life and why he had so much to drink today, didn’t exactly know the details between you and Taehyung. And you’d like to keep it that way.

There was a silence “I know I was stupid to trust him okay? I just—“

“It’s not your fault, y/n” Seokjin’s voice made an appearance “It’s not your fault he’s an asshole.”

“I know, I get it”

“So all that anger, don’t place it on yourself” Namjoon’s voice was barely audible

“Sorry are we still talking about y/n or are you talking about your alcohol problem? Because I’m a little confused” Mina snorted, she was always the one to tease Namjoon yet she took care of him the most out of all of us.

You rolled down the window, allowing the autumn air to flow through the car. It was a beautiful night, the starriest it had been for a while now. Cold air brushed your skin as you drove back to Outfield, gazing the wall from afar and that’s all you used to do, but now you know the other side of it very well. In fact, you were more familiar with it than you’d like. Bitterness crawled up your throat.

Toward the end of November, the bet was long forgotten and everyone and their mother was focused on Taehyung’s so called engagement, or rather, the lack of it.

You didn’t care. Focusing on schoolwork was far more important. . .Or that’s at least the lies you’d been feeding yourself.

It was hard to avoid it, considering it was all everyone talked about. The Arden and Kim family were arguably Hashfield’s founding families, the possibility of those two historic houses merging had everyone on edge.

Well, except Taehyung, apparently.

Ever since the scandal interview he gave about a month ago, Kim Taehyung seemed to do the opposite of what his father wanted. According to Claire, there had been a succession of crushes, flings, one night stands, who knows. To you all of it boiled down to one thing only: his cock had been everywhere. It had been in god knows how many vaginas, how many mouths.

Without your concern, your gaze found him. The amphitheater was big enough, so he shouldn’t notice.

The image disgusted you. It bothered you to think of him between a girl’s legs as she lay facing him, his broad, tanned, glistening shoulders moving up and down. Just looking at his shoulders when he happened to be going over his notes made you wonder where they’d been last night. How effortless and free the movement of his shoulder blades each time he shifted, how thoughtlessly they caught the sun. Did they taste of the sea to the woman who had lain under him last night and bitten into him? Or of his suntan lotion?

You remembered the last time you’d seen his shoulders all exposed under the sun. It was three years a go, near the end of your friendship.

You were in your mother’s garden, he’d stop by to bring you a Nintendo for your birthday. You tried to tell him that you were going to be a junior this year and that he should cut it with the kid stuff, but you’d secretly wished for that Nintendo so badly.

“Listen, I need to pick up something in town.” he said.

Something was always weed.

“And here I was, thinking you came down to Outfield for my birthday”

He sat silently a moment. “I did.” cleared his throat “Want to come with me? It’s been a while since we rode our bikes together”

“Now?” What you might have meant was, Really?

“Why, have you got anything better to do?”

“No.”

“So let’s go.”

Kim Taehyung, billionaire, Kim Taehyung, riding on a bike instead of his panamera just because you’d convinced him it was fun two years ago was the funniest sight, ever.

When you arrived at the garage, Amir, was arguing with Kadir, as usual.

This time he was accusing him of dousing the tomatoes with too much water, and that it was all wrong, because they were growing too fast.

“They’ll be mealy,” Amir complained.

“Listen. I do the tomatoes, you do the driving, and we’re all happy.”

“You don’t understand. In my day you moved the tomatoes at some point, from one place to another, from one place to the other”—he insisted—“and you planted basil nearby. But of course you people who’ve been in the army know everything.”

Their heavy accents made everything a little lighter.

“That’s right.” Kadir was ignoring him.

“Of course I’m right. No wonder they didn’t keep you in the army.”

“That’s right. They didn’t keep me in the army.”

Both of them greeted the two of you. The gardener handed Taehyung his weed. “You have a familiar face kid. Ever since the first day you came out here, I’ve seen you before, I’m sure of it. Did you work in a farm nearby perhaps?”

A laugh escaped your lips at the thought of Kim Taehyung being a farmer, maybe in another life. Of course Kadir had seen Tae’s face hanging in magazines or blasted through the daily talking show, but he couldn’t exactly pin point it.

Taehyung caught your smiled and after eyeing you smiled back.

Amir couldn’t have been more peeved. “No farmer dresses like that, are you stupid? From now on, I talk to customers you grow the tomatoes”

Kadir gave a wry smile.

Once you two had reached the cypress lane that led onto the main road to town, you asked Tae, “Doesn’t he give you the creeps?”

“Who?”

“Amir.”

“No, why? I fell the other day on my way back and scraped myself pretty badly. Amir insisted on applying some sort of witch’s brew. He also fixed the bike for me.” With one hand on the handlebar he lifted his shirt and exposed a huge scrape and bruise on his left hip.

“Still gives me the creeps,” You said, repeating your aunt’s verdict.

“Just a lost soul, really.”

Lost soul.

On your way, you noticed that Tae was taking his time. He wasn’t in his usual rush, no speeding, no scaling the hill with his usual athletic zeal. Nor did he seem in a rush to go back to his precious wall, or join his new friends on the beach.

He’d been spending a lot of time with a new crowd, you didn’t really know them, nor were you interested. Rich snobby kids from far inside the wall, probably best to avoid them. It kind of bugged you that Tae had started hanging out with them so much, but you wouldn’t bring yourself to say anything.

Today he’d spend almost the entire day with you, perhaps he had nothing better to do.

When you arrived at the small café that overlooked the sea, Tae stopped to buy cigarettes. He had started smoking Gauloises. You had never tried Gauloises and asked if you could. He took out a cerino from the box, gently placed the cigarette in between your lips and by cupping his hands very near your face, lit your cigarette.

“Not bad, right?” he said after you took a puff

“Not bad at all.”

He didn’t like the fact that you’d picked up smoking, but he wasn’t any better so he decided not to scold you about it anymore.

“Just take a look at this,” he said as the two of you ambled with your bikes in the afternoon sun toward the edge of the café overlooking the rolling hills below.

Farther out and way below was a magnificent view of the sea with scarcely a few stripes of foam streaking the bay like giant dolphins breaking the surf. “Do you know about the wailing woman?” he asked suddenly.

“She threw her husband in the sea, thinking he was dead, but he had just been asleep for days due to some medication. He ended up drowning from the waves”

“You heard how she died?”

“The next night she took a bunch of sleeping pills and threw herself in the sea to drown as well” You replied and studied his pondering face.

“Do you know why she did that?”

“Because she thought that, if she died the same way her husband did, she’d meet him in the afterlife.”

Why was he quizzing you?

“Is there anything you don’t know?” he asked, his eyes a light caramel from the sun.

“I know nothing, Tae. Nothing, just nothing.”

“You know more than anyone around here.Anyone I’ve ever met”

Why was he returning your near-tragic tone with bland ego-boosting?

“If you only knew how little I know about the things that really matter.” you replied

“What kind of things?” It was as if he was starring down into your soul

How much you wanted to touch his hair which was slightly ruffled by the passing wind. How much you wanted him to come even closer, maybe enough to hear how fast your heart beat every time he was near you.

Tell him. It’s now or never.

Is it better to speak, or to die? “Nothing.”

You were treading water, trying neither to drown nor to swim to safety, just staying in place, because here was the truth—even if you couldn’t speak the truth, or even hint at it, yet you could swear it lay around the two of you, the way they say that if a necklace gets lost while swimming: You know it’s down there somewhere.

You focus back to the class. On the Present day, when Taehyung was just a mere asshole to you, nothing else. You hopefully averted your eyes fast enough so that he didn’t notice you staring at him for what was probably fifteen minutes now.

This class was boring, you blame the weariness that washed over you for the flashbacks you were having about him.

That version of Taehyung was long dead to you.

@nikkiordonez12 @travelleratheart101 @theaufanartist @world-moon @ratedbangtann @chimchoom @pnkoo @taehyungedd @turnthepageandbeburnt @glitteryouid @jkbangtan7 @chimchoom @thankyoublair @manuosorioh

[daechwitatamic]

Of Ruin: Chapter 13 | KTH

(banner by @itaeewon)

Of Ruin (Masterpost)

Rating: NSFW - minors dni Genre: vampire!au magic!au royalty!au, s2l, slow burn, eventual smut, angst and fluff

Summary: Taehyung of House Rune, Prince of Infracticus has been cursed. You’re the human world’s leading curse-breaker. It should be simple. But unraveling the curse becomes the least of your problems in the face of a world on the brink of civil war… and the love you start to feel for the prince.

A/N: Thank you endlessly to @sailoryooons for betaing!!! 💕

//

Section Warnings: language, kissing, we are jumping straight into smut lol, nip stim, clit stim, dry humping, fingering, oral (f. receiving), uhhhh fang play? lolol pls do not perceive me, penetrative sex, love confessions during sex oops lol, biting/feeding during sex but its consensual on all parts, kind of sort of subspacey at the end with help from vampire venom, taehyung pov for a minute, drinking and drunkenness, hurt feelings wc: 6k

“You must have been terrified.”

“No. Not once I knew it was you.”

To emphasize this, you loop one arm around the back of his neck, drawing him closer, kissing him harder. Everything you’ve been holding back seems to burst from you - his faith in you, your trust in him, the love you’ve been tucking away, all of it. You kiss him feverishly, trying to translate every bit of it into the way you press against him, open for him.

He licks into your mouth and you groan quietly, wanting more, more of him, more of his mouth, more of his hands, just more. He responds to your sound with a pleased grunt of his own, and he slides one large hand around your waist, pressing against your lower back, pressing your hips harder against his own.

You slide your tongue against his and he brings his hand up your back and wrap his hand firmly around the back of your neck to keep you close. You let out a tiny whine, letting your hands wander up his chest over the thin cloth of the shirt he wears. You pass your hands over his shoulders, down his back, holding tight as your head spins - from the kiss, or from the events (and blood loss) of last night, you aren’t sure.

You murmur his name when the kiss breaks, and he responds by capturing your lips again, sweetly, then pulling back to look down at you.

“What is it?” he murmurs, voice as deep as the ocean.

You strain upwards, trying to find his mouth again, your right hand gathering the material of his shirt’s hem and bunching it in your fist. You slide your other hand into the gap you’ve made, practically gasping with delight as your palm slides along his cool, bare skin for the first time. He shivers beneath your touch, then reaches between his shoulder blades to grab the neck of his shirt. You let go of the hem, allowing him to tug it off and over his head before he bends to kiss you more.

Pleased, you press your mouth to his gladly, letting your hands explore up and down his ribs, over his pecs, down his stomach, around to his back, feeling him move and respond beneath each touch. You can feel him beneath you, responding to each kiss and every caress, and you tighten the grip of your thighs on either side of his own, as if holding on tighter can urge him even closer.

“So warm,” he murmurs against your mouth, letting out a quick sigh as one of your hands works to memorize the slope of his jaw.

You still want more. You use both hands and card your fingers through his hair, curling them to hold his roots, and pull lightly. He moans into your open mouth, the sound so pretty it makes your toes curl. You do it again, pressing your hips against his as you do, trying to egg him on.

He’s behaving too much, keeping his hands on your waist, your hair, not daring to toe the line even as you leap over it. You don’t want him to behave.

“I want to feel you,” you breathe, pressing your forehead to his as you both take a second to catch your breath. “Please.”

He doesn’t need to be told twice; he finds the hem of your shirt and pulls. You lift your arms so he can slide it over your head. His eyes follow the path of newly bared skin - up over your stomach, your chest, your face, up to your arms.

You reach back to unclasp your bra, tossing it away, but Taehyung isn’t watching. His eyes have instead caught on the scabby marks on your upper arm, and then on the inside of each wrist. He reaches for your right arm, pulls it closer, examining the place where his very first bite had pierced you.

“Did it hurt?” he asks sorrowfully, brushing a thumb lightly over the reddened skin around the bite.

“No,” you say, but it isn’t quite true, so you try again. “I mean, yes, but after a few seconds it was…”

“What?” he whispers, even as he pulls your wrist towards his mouth, brushes the healing bite with his lips. Your breath stills in your throat, but he only kisses the spot, waiting for your answer.

“Once the venom hit,” you admit, a little embarrassed, “it felt… kind of good, actually. Like being a little drunk.”

He lets out a breath that’s almost a laugh. “That’s how it feels when we drink,” he tells you. “The want, the thirst, it’s lessened… but it also gives a sort of high. It’s addicting - you’re addicting.”

He punctuates this thought by pressing an open-mouthed kiss to the fang-marks on your wrist, as you think that he must be mistaken - between the two of you, it’s him that’s addicting: powerful and beautiful, thrilling and dangerous.

He moves to kiss you again, licking against your lips until you open for him again, hands skimming along your now-bare sides, thumbs coming dangerously close to your chest before sliding back down. You shiver, grinding down into him, making an encouraging sound low in your throat.

He finally slides a hand where you want it, caressing and gently kneading your breast, letting his thumb circle the sensitive nipple before flicking over the top of it as it hardens beneath his touch. You keen, the sensations tingling and magical, pressing harder into his touch.

He abandons your chest and slides his hand down your arm, still kissing you languidly, deeply. His fingers rest against your wrist, and the wound starts to tingle. You recognize the sensation and realize he’s healing you as he kisses you, fixing each broken spot he finds, undoing the damage he’d wreaked on your body the night before.

He does the same to the wounds on your upper arm and the opposite wrist, then goes back to exploring what sounds he can pull from you as he lowers his mouth to your breast. He hums happily as he kisses, licks, and nips his way around the full bottom of one before making his way back up to your nipple, taking it between his lips and flicking his tongue against it repeatedly. You feel your eyes roll back, your core clenching in response to the feeling of him.

“God, Taehyung, please,” you beg. You don’t even know what you’re begging for - more, just more.

At your plea, he pulls himself back up and kisses you so hard that your head spins. He slides a hand, behaving no more, down your stomach and around your waist, gripping you tightly as he pulls you tight against his trapped cock, which is solid beneath you, begging for attention. You gasp, hips jerking with the sudden friction, breaking the kiss.

He releases your waist and his hands travel around to grab full handfuls of your ass, fingers tightening there as his lips work their way down your jaw and towards your throat. You groan in pleasure and excitement, feeling yourself getting wetter at an alarming rate.

“Smell fucking amazing,” he murmurs, lips against your throat, and you feel your whole body heat at the words. He holds you, mouth pressed to the flushed skin of your throat, pressing closed-mouth kisses to it as his fingers slip beneath your waistband, sliding down the bare skin of your ass and seeking the heat and wetness between your legs.

He toys with you, teasing your hole from behind, sliding easily through the slickness waiting for him. He doesn’t enter you, as you’re still pressed too tightly against him, rocking against his clothed length. Even still, you whine at the sensation of his fingers exploring what parts of you they can.

He growls, and you shiver. He lifts you in one easy motion, pulling his hand from inside your leggings to settle you down onto your back. He presses his long body alongside yours and slips his hand beneath your waistband - properly, from the front this time. He runs his fingers through the arousal he finds only once before plunging two fingers into you just as his mouth finds the tender place his fangs had pierced into your neck the night before. You moan so loudly it echoes through the room, the sound long and tortured as your body adjusts to the stretch of his digits and as the tender wound on your neck tingles at the pressure of his lips and tongue as he kisses and licks over the healing punctures.

“God,” you breathe, rocking against his fingers, trying to work them deeper. You can hear them squelching, and that should be embarrassing, but you can’t care. Not when he’s pulling his sticky fingers out of your leggings and rolling back over top of you, pressing his still-clothed length against your mound, his mouth firmly attached to the marks on your neck, tongue caressing the spots as if he could convince just a bit more blood out of them.

He ruts against you mindlessly, like he doesn’t even know he’s doing it, seeming to be fully focused on your neck, like he’s forgotten about relieving his aching cock when faced with the promise of your fresh blood. His hands are splayed and pressing into the mattress on either side of you, holding himself up just above you.

He slides his mouth from the wound to the unblemished skin just slightly to the left, sucking deeply, no doubt pulling more blood to gather below the surface of your skin. A growl reverberates through him, but you feel no fear; he’s not the beast now, he’s yours - yours. You know he won’t hurt you.

He brings up a hand to caress your jaw. “Tell me what you want,” he murmurs, barely removing his lips from your neck enough to enunciate.

You close your eyes, sighing, letting every sensation wash over you. I want to be yours, you think, just the same as you are mine.

“You,” you say, only part of the truth.

His mouth finds yours again, his taste slightly coppery, and then he’s pulling at your waistband. You hurry to assist, lifting your hips up and using both hands to push the material over your ass and down your legs, kicking both leggings and underwear to the side as quickly as you can.

“You, too,” you say petulantly, and he smiles against your lips.

He lifts up to untie his own trousers. When he’s free of them, you expect him to settle himself back as he was, but he surprises you by scooting down the bed and gripping your thighs firmly, pressing them apart, opening you reverently. You shiver as the room’s cool air, and his hungry gaze, find your exposed core.

“Taehyung,” you keen, not sure if you’re urging him on or questioning him away.

He tears his eyes away from your glistening pussy, gaze rising to find yours, hungry. His pupils are so blown out that for a second you jolt with alarm, thinking you’re seeing the black Infracti eyes of the beast.

“Can I?” he asks, and you’re reminded of last night, the way he asked before each bite, the way that despite instinct and thirst driving him to bring his mouth to each spot, he still waited for permission.

“Yes,” you breathe, head falling back against the mattress, as if you’re physically incapable of watching as he grips your thighs again and pulls himself closer, burying his face in your heat and licking his first stripe from bottom to top.

You let your breath out between gritted teeth as he does this again and again, tongue dipping in, stretching your entrance for only a second before sliding up to pass firmly over your clit before retracting altogether. It’s a slow, dizzying torture, and you find yourself shaking slightly each time he repeats the series of motions.

Eyes screwed shut, fingers digging into the blankets beneath you, you suck in a breath and try to relax, try to open your legs wider for him, even as the tremors roll through your lower body gently, building up to something fiery and explosive.

He stops his repetitive torture, flattening his tongue and rubbing firmly over and around your clit, the onslaught so intense that your hips jerk and twitch away until he reaches up and holds them still with firm fingertips. You whine and moan as he works you, powerless to shift away from the onslaught of his tongue and lips. He groans when you do, his dulcet voice weaving with your own wordless pleas, his hips undulating slowly against the bed beneath him as he feasts.

You breathe his name, needing reprieve, needing more, needing to unclench and inhale, the sound morphing into a low moan. He seems to hear your unarticulated request, pulling off and moving to press kisses to the insides of your thighs, the juncture, your spasming entrance as you gasp for breath.

Then, his mouth moves, tongue slipping along your outer lips. The sensation changes, alarm bells sounding in your head several beats before your buzzy brain can process why. It’s sharp, and your breath rattles to a stop, muscles tensing in anticipation, as Taehyung slides the tip of his left fang up one side of you, pressing it just hard enough against you that you can feel the sting even when he’s moved on to a higher place.

“T-Tae,” you gulp, pulse thudding even harder than it was before, desperately aware of how close he is to biting you. He growls again, then licks over where his fang had trailed, soothing, before moving to the other side. Gently, slowly, he lets the tip of his sharp tooth press against you, and weaves a line from bottom to top with it. Your breaths come shallow - you’re afraid to move, lest you accidentally pierce yourself on him.

“You’re so, so good,” he groans, and you don’t know if he means for staying still, for letting him play, or if he’s talking about your taste, not your behavior. You whimper, still nervous - but the fear is exciting. He centers his mouth and places a chaste kiss over your clit, causing you to jerk under his hands again.

“Taehyung,” you whine, a plea and a complaint all at once. “Please.”

He heeds your tone, releasing you after one more kiss to the spot he’d been torturing. “Please what?” he asks, teasing, starting to climb back up your body, mouth working its way up the plane of your stomach, past your ribs, over your breasts, up your throat, and then kissing you again, heady and impassioned.

You’re shaky from the adrenaline released by his toying with you; you pull him close, his chest flush against yours, trying to find comfort in his solidness, hands clinging to his biceps as they flex above you. You can feel his cock, hard and heavy, brushing your inner thigh, and you shift, trying to get it closer to where you want it.

He growls when he feels himself slide easily up your slit, grinding frantically against you until he’s slicked up, too, then letting his head snag on your entrance.

His eyes find yours, asking the question that he doesn’t vocalize.

You answer wordlessly, too, lifting up to take the first inch of him, letting out a strangled sound as he follows your lead and pushes through your heat until his hips are flush with yours again.

You stay locked like this for just a moment, and you look up at him with adoration as your body adjusts, stretching to accommodate him.

“God,” he breathes above you, starting to move minutely, just barely shifting. “You’re so -.”

He doesn’t finish the thought, dipping his head down to kiss you again. He shelters you between his arms, his black hair swinging above you, casting his face in shadow, and he begins fucking into you in earnest.

You move with him, hands roaming his arms and back, hooking one leg around the backs of his thighs to draw him even closer. He feels amazing dragging away from your walls and slamming back in, feels amazing kissing you so deeply you could drown in it, feels amazing stroking your face with gentle hands that promise to honor you.

As you move together, each delicious slide causing your core to tighten and grip at him, it builds - fuller and more powerful until it’s crashing over you: the need to tell him.

“I love you,” you breathe. “I should have said it before.”

He rolls you easily in response to this, one arm tight around your back as he maneuvers you so you sit astride him, his cock managing to sink even deeper into you from this angle. You moan, eyes slipping closed, missing it as he reaches for your upper body, trying to pull you down into some semblance of an embrace, even as he fucks you steadily, not faltering for a second.

He kisses you sloppily, arms locking you against his chest, cock sliding in and out of you at a steady pace. One of his hands slides up your back and rests across your throat; you shiver at the contact, and then you feel the familiar tingling. He’s healing your neck, where he drank from you last night.

When he releases you, hands settling on your hips and helping to lift you up and pull you down, you sit back up, looking down at him. He looks so good spread out beneath you that it makes your core clench, which makes his hands on your hips tighten and a low grumble reverberate from his chest.

He squirms and sits upright, capturing your mouth in another searing kiss as soon as he’s close enough, huffing against your mouth happily when he gets what he wants. He tugs you down on his cock and you keen, whining deep in your throat as his tip kisses your cervix until he lets up.

“Fuck,” you manage, gasping for a new breath as the pain-pleasure ebbs. You’re close, you realize, as he kisses his way down the column of your throat, teeth grazing in places and then tongue soothing the scrapes. You rock against him, your hard nipples brushing his chest, your hands finding his hair again, and you know exactly what you want to push you over the edge.

“Taehyung,” you say, lips so close to his ear that you can see him shudder from the tickle, “I want…”

He spears you particularly hard, grunting, and you lose the thought for a second, letting your forehead drop to his shoulder.

“Want what?” he asks, breathless, fingers splayed over your waist. He watches the place where your bodies meet, distracted by the sight of his cock emerging from within you, shiny and sticky.

“Drink from me,” you beg, not lifting your head, not wanting to see his reaction.

“No,” he says, not looking up, not stopping his fluid strokes into your tight heat. “It’s too dangerous, especially like this - I might not be able to stop.”

“If you can control yourself through the curse, you can control yourself now,” you argue, swiveling against him a little, relishing the feel of how deeply he’s touching you. “Please. It wasn’t you last night - I want it to be you.”

It’s not quite the whole of what you mean; if you weren’t split open by his cock right now maybe you could explain better than it felt like you’d been intimate with him without his presence, that you wanted a chance to share that intimacy with him, now, now that you’d told him how you feel about him.

But he seems to understand. His strokes slow but don’t stop as he tips your head up with the knuckle of his pointer finger, looking deep into your eyes as if looking for the right answer within them.

“Please,” you say, and you watch him break.

He pushes himself deep within you, then presses his face to the side of your neck he hadn’t touched yet. You rock against him, feeling his hard length push against each sensitive spot, colors exploding behind your eyelids as you move.

“Please,” you whimper again, because the anticipation is worse than the pain will be, and you want him.

He can’t resist, not with you begging, and he presses his fangs to your sweaty skin, then pierces you swiftly. The pain overtakes you, worse than you remember from the night before. You cry out loudly, eyes squeezing shut, fingernails raking down his shoulder blades, your whole body squirming and fighting instinctually to get away. He holds you tightly, and all your squirming does is push him deeper inside you, all those spots lighting up behind your eyelids again, causing your cry of pain to trail into a loud moan.

The venom hits you as Taehyung starts pounding into you faster than he has this whole time, his arms tight around your back, fangs still lodged in your throat, a growl ripping through him as your blood hits his tongue and your body tightens and twitches around his length.

The floating high hits you as your body reacts to his new, breakneck pace and you let out a mindless wail as you pulse and squeeze around him in rhythmic waves. It lasts and lasts, and you think you might trip straight into a second orgasm as he holds you even tighter, removes his mouth from your neck long enough to gasp your name as he pumps his release deep inside you.

After, he holds you still, hands petting your hair, smoothing down your back, until your heartbeat calms under his hands. Then, he lowers you to lay down side by side.

You float, aware of only snippets of sensation - the pulsing between your legs taking ages to settle, aftershocks causing the muscles in your legs to tense and release. Your heartbeat slows. The well of blood to the wound in your neck, Taehyung’s gentle tongue still pressed to the spot, taking what your body willingly gives but not pulling from it.

Slowly, you come back to yourself.

“How do you feel?” he asks, perhaps a bit apprehensively.

“I need to eat, shower, and sleep, in that order,” you murmur, eyelids heavy. “But otherwise… I can’t complain.”

In the end, his guards keep the corridors clear as he carries you back to his rooms. It’s a bit embarrassing, you think, but you’re way too weak to walk there, so there’s no arguing the point. He orders a full breakfast spread from the kitchens, sends Satuel to your rooms to get you something comfortable to wear, and runs a hot bath in a tub so deep you’d honestly call it a small swimming pool.

When your stomach is full and your body clean, you burrow under the blankets in his ridiculously opulent bed, body thrumming with happiness and oxytocin and all those other happy chemicals that come after good sex and good food.

“I suppose I should thank you,” Taehyung murmurs as his fingers trace patterns over your shoulder. He lays beside you, on top of the blankets, waiting for you to be claimed by sleep. “I got a whole night of sleep last night. My first in months.”

You hum, stretching, halfway to sleep already. “I think you have other things to thank me for,” you tease, the words falling heavily from your lips as you’re pulled under.

You feel his hand, gentle on your throat, drawing near the bite mark he’d made this morning, the one he’d made as himself, at your request.

“No,” you say strongly, suddenly awake. “Don’t heal that one.”

He balks. “People will know.”

“Good,” you say firmly. “Let them know I’m yours.”

Let them know you’re mine, you think, and then you only know sleep.

—

Taehyung watches you sleep for longer than he’d admit to anyone. He watches your face, calm and smooth in sleep. He thinks of how he has to bite back smiles when you get fired up about something, your eyes narrowing and mouth tightening.

He thinks of the look of quiet determination you get when you’re casting, when you’re working with the magic that naturally lives within you.

For all of history, Infracti and venefici have lived together, helped each other. Long ago, the heir to Infracticus’s throne would be purposely matched with the venefici’s strongest magician - the Highest. Venefici would leave their homes, live and practice with the other magic-wielders, train and compete to be the best, to be given the honored title. It’s been hundreds of thousands of years since the days of those arranged unions, but Taehyung’s had that custom in his head for weeks now.

It makes him feel fated, like you were brought to him on purpose, his natural other half. The Highest to his hunter. The Priestess to his Blood-letter. His venefici, his witch, his bringer of humanity, his to protect.

Like in another lifetime, it would have always been you and him. 

Loathe as he is to admit his father could be right about anything… he was right about you. You’re powerful, beautiful. You’re brave, surprisingly funny. Taehyung sees a lot of himself in you - in your bravado, in the way your words don’t always seem to match what you want to say, in the way you only find peace when you’re faced with the sea.

He loves you. He loves you, and he thinks you could be amazing here - thinks you’d be an amazing queen, thinks you could be happy in his palace by the ocean’s side.

But you had a whole life before, that you’d left on hold to come here and fix him. If he loves you, he thinks, then the right thing to do is to let you go back to that life. It isn’t right to keep you here, away from your family, away from your studies and your job, just because he wants you to. It isn’t fair to ask you to give up what you worked so hard for.

It is with these thoughts in mind that he presses a feather light kiss to your unfurrowed brow and makes his way out of his bedchamber into his main rooms, closing the door quietly behind him to let you sleep.

—

When you wake, you’re alone. You worry for a split second, then you hear his voice floating from further in his wing, and you relax.

You rouse yourself slowly, savoring the chance to take your time, to be alone with your thoughts in the comfiest bed you’ve ever experienced. A quick look around the room alights your attention on a bundle at the end of the bed; someone left clothes for you.

You do your best to make yourself presentable, and then follow the sound of voices and laughter into Taehyung’s main rooms.

You’re greeted with a sight you’ve never seen before: the group of young Infracti men seem to be having fun, just hanging out. Taehyung is lounging on one of the couches, ankles crossed and arms folded behind his head. Jimin is perched on the arm of the couch, currently doubled over in laughter so strong that he wheezes and clutches at Taehyung’s shin desperately. You also recognize the round-eyed Infracti who had attended the strategy meeting in the pub not that long ago - Jungkook. The other two you’ve never seen before, but they appraise you with interest as you step into the room.

Taehyung lights up like a Christmas tree when he spots you, sitting up so abruptly that he almost knocks Jimin from the couch.

He crows your name, and then calls to you, “Come! Make merry with me!”

You step forward with trepidation, looking around at the others for an explanation.

“His Majesty has been imbibing,” Jimin explains, straightening himself up. “But, yes, you should join us. Your time here has been very serious, and we’re determined to have a pleasant night now that the business is handled.”

“Business?” you echo, still making your way into the room by degrees. It does not escape you that if these Infracti are drunk, it may put you in a bit more danger than normal.

“You just missed Seokjin,” Taehyung explains, the words a bit loose. He waves a hand towards the door as if to indicate which way Seokjin left. “We were discussing matters of state.”

“While drunk?” you can’t help but ask.

Taehyung lets out one cold laugh, and then holds up an arm, making a space for your body to fill. As you make your way over, he muses, “Yes, it makes it less painful to stare the cold, hard future in the face that way.”

“That’s a bit grim,” Jimin remarks from behind you as you settle next to Taehyung’s torso, seated on the edge of the couch’s cushion.

“Justice is grim,” Taehyung declares dramatically, and you press your lips together, trying not to giggle. Then, he adds, “Especially when it’s coming for your own family. Or yourself.”

He flops back against the arm of the couch, reaches around you for his goblet. You can smell the wine as it passes by you.

“Do you want some?” Jimin has the presence of mind to ask, but you shake your head.

“Better not,” you say. “Is it even safe for me to be here right now, while he’s…?”

Taehyung sputters loudly in indignation. “What,” he demands, “you think I can control myself while I’m cursed but not when I’m inebra - ineba - ineeny - drunk?”

Your eyes widen in mirth, and you hiss at Jimin, “What did you do to him?”

Jimin laughs, shaking his head. “His Majesty did this to himself, I’m afraid. I think he’s been stressed.”

“Come on, little witch,” Jungkook says, playfully taunting, black eyes glinting. “Are you afraid? I thought you put people through walls.”

You eye him flatly. “I don’t want to mess up Maiesti’s pretty face,” you deadpan.

This gets a smile out of the others in the room. Beside you, Taehyung pats at his face thoughtfully but says nothing.

“You should all go,” he finally says, the words slow and lazy, head lolling back on the arm of the couch. “Come, now, begone.” He literally waves a hand at them as if they’re nothing but gnats.

“He’s brattier when you’re around,” Jimin tells you petulantly, as he rises. You start to follow, but Taehyung’s inhuman grip finds your wrist and tugs you back.

“Not you,” he murmurs, and there’s a hint of growl to it. A shudder rolls through you.

The others make their way past you, saying their goodbyes, and Taehyung tugs you by the wrist so that you fall over top of him, chest to chest. You think he’s going to pick up where you’d left off this morning, but instead he wraps his arms around your back and buries his face somewhere near your clavicle, eyes closed.

“You’re warm,” he murmurs.

You smile, feeling a rush of affection. “You’re cute,” you counter.

You feel his lips pout against your skin. “I’m not cute. ’M scary.”

“Sometimes you’re scary,” you agree lightly. “But not right now.”

He lets out an unhappy hum. “You’re scary sometimes,” he muses. He unburies himself, lets his head flop back to the arm of the couch. His eyes are still closed. “You’d be the best queen because everyone would be scared shitless of you.”

He’s let slip similar thoughts before, but never in a setting where you could sit with the words, consider the weight of them.

“I can’t tell if you mean that,” you admit, “or if you’re just…” Getting ahead of yourself, you finish the thought silently.

“Why wouldn’t I mean it?” he argues. He lets his arm drop over his face, his eyes hiding in the crook of his elbow. “I agreed when my father told me to court you, didn’t I? Wouldn’t have done that if I didn’t think…”

He mumbles the rest of this sentence into his arm, and you don’t try to catch it. You’re stunned, knocked breathless.

“Wait,” you say, the word dropping from you like a stone. “What?”

“Mm,” he says, like this is an answer, nodding his head minutely. “My parents were intrigued by your magical quotient. I, on the other hand, was intrigued by your-”

You’re barely hearing him. “Wait,” you interrupt, the word the only one you can grasp. “You… they asked you to court me because of my magic? And you… you… agreed?”

“Well, yes,” Taehyung huffs, frustrated. “I had to, or he wouldn’t have -”

“So,” you interrupt again, head spinning, “how much of it was… for his sake?”

Taehyung removes his arm from his face and looks at you in confusion, brows furrowing, lips pouting.

“Were you faking it?” you demand, feeling yourself spiraling but unable to stop it. “Was I just… a means to an end? An asset for the bloodline?”

He winces, which is enough of an answer for you. You push away from him, and he’s too slow in his drunken state to catch you in time. You stand, backing away.

“I have to go,” you say hollowly, already looking at the door.

“No,” he says, desperately, sitting up and reaching a hand towards you. Your heart breaks another degree; part of you wants to go back to his embrace and tell him never mind, you aren’t fighting, everything is okay. You force yourself to back away, making your way around the couch.

He watches you go, mouth turned down and a hand following your path. “My love,” he breathes, “please don’t.”

“No,” you say, shaking your head, half to yourself, half to remind yourself not to give in. “No, I need to. I need to think. You should… drink some water and get some sleep… or whatever it is your people do to avoid a hangover.”

You open the door and slip through, but you’re weak. You’re weak, and you look back over your shoulder, and so as the door closes you get one last view of Prince Taehyung, watching you go, his eyes now a deep, fathomless black.

—

You move in a daze. Namjoon is closed in his own room when you reach your rooms, so there’s no one to stop you as you toss a few essentials into a small bag, no one to witness it when you tell Satuel that if she doesn’t take you to the Ostium then you’ll walk there yourself.

“His Majesty will be very displeased,” she points out as you walk.

“His Majesty has a long, long life ahead of him during which he can get over it,” you bite back.

The Infracti working the Ostiums - both the one in Infracticus and the one above, in your city - nod politely at you as you pass through, checking your identification, but don’t say much.

In fact, no one speaks to you again until after you’ve climbed a familiar, worn set of stairs, pushed open a squeaky office door.

Dr. Kim stares at you like you’re a ghost, an apparition drifting up through his carpeting.

“You,” he says, eyes wide with disbelief, “are not supposed to be here.”

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LA LA LA BYEEEE!!!!!!!!!

[champagneher]

❝𝒘𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒂𝒍𝒘𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒔❞ —𝐤𝐢𝐦 𝐭𝐚𝐞𝐡𝐲𝐮𝐧𝐠

pairing: kim taehyung x reader

based on: reader is in paris and taehyung's an incredible supportive lover.

genre: drabble, fluff, idol au.

warnings: making out, little suggestive, cursing and tae just giving boyfriend material vibes.

a/n: so... i'm back with this little drabble. hope you enjoy it and you can always send your request! lots of love. :) please go easy on me, english is not my native language. so, i apologize for any mistakes and please let me know!

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Paris never looked better in your opinion. The night was falling, the stars were beginning to shine in the sky while the young people went out to have fun with their friends on this summery Friday. You weren't far behind, you had your fresh nails, your long eyelashes, your hair recently dyed a light honey brown that contrasted the colour of your skin perfectly, and of course, it was combed in a perfect bun.

You hugged your light shirt closer to your body while you watched the big city from the balcony of your -temporary- home that offered a spectacular view of the greatest attraction the city could offer you, the Eiffel Tower.

You looked at the time on your phone when it lit up with the incoming message.

Tae: I hope Paris is treating you as you deserve.

You smiled.

Me: Of course it is. It always has.

Tae: I miss Paris Me: You should come visit Paris Me: And me, of course Tae: Obviously. Why else would I go to Paris for? Tae: Oh wait Tae: There may be another reason. A good reason Me: Oh yeah?

Tae: Yeah

Me: Care to tell me?

Tae: There is this ballet dancer, who dances beautifully Me: A ballerina who dances? Me: I'm a little surprised that you like ballet. Who would have thought Tae: You're annoying. Tae: But yes. Actually, I like everything about this girl. Hopefully, I can see her soon. I met her in a café when she spilled all her coffee on my white pants and Gucci shoes Me: That's tragic

Tae: No, not at all. I got to know her and since then we have been very close. Very

Tae: I love to fuck her Me: Okay I have to go now Tae: 😊 Tae: Rehearsals? Tae: What time do you go on stage?

Me: In about two hours, 9pm, so I have to run to the theatre and keep rehearsing Tae: Hope everything goes well. I know you'll dance amazing as always just don't be too surprised

Me: Why would I be surprised? Haha Me: Talk later?

Tae: Of course baby, see you soon xx

You shook your head slightly, smiling as you locked the screen of your phone and then turned to take one last look at the incredible view from the balcony.

You could get used to this, you thought. But you missed your life in Korea. Life there as a foreigner could be incredibly difficult in time to time, but you had also built relationships with incredible people and appreciated every beautiful moment lived. You also couldn't deny that you enjoyed it more because it's where one of your favourite people was.

How you met Taehyung was definitely embarrassing, but at the same time you were grateful because otherwise you wouldn't be on the verge of collapsing from everything you felt for him. He was annoying and charming at the same time. You had never been in love, and you didn't want to be either because of your career that demanded a lot of your time. Shit. Tae's was even more demanding, you never imagined that you could be head over heels for an idol who could make you laugh until you cry in a moment and then fuck you until oblivion in the other.

You didn't have a title. You weren't officially a couple, but it was no surprise to his and your circle that you both did almost everything together. Not only that, but you could be in each other's company all day and still yearn for more time together. It was reciprocal and pure. You had met someone with whom you couldn't say a word and still feel comfortable.

Tae loved every second shared with you, he had met the person who understood him and put herself in his place without the need to ask. You both had busy schedules, which worried him a lot when he realized that he couldn't spend much time away from you, but that stopped thanks to the fact that you worked to continue sharing moments without feeling forced.

He introduced you as his, and you introduced him as yours. Still, the little pinch in your stomach that said he would never make anything official was still there, bothering you day by day. And not to mention when the opportunity to dance in one of the most prestigious theatres in Europe presented itself to you, and you made the decision -which was very hard- to go to France for 5 months to be part of one of your biggest dreams. It was a unique opportunity and although Taehyung supported you in your decision and was every step of the way here, it was difficult. For almost eight months you had not spent more than two days away from each other, and now you were separated by hours and hours of distance.

4 and a half months passed, the end of your contract was approaching, and it was bittersweet. Bitter that your moments on this stage with your new friends would end, but sweet that you would be coming home to him. You also loved every second lived here. Although it was difficult, and it wasn't necessary, it must be emphasized, you were always faithful to Taehyung. Your heart belonged to him.

You were about to return to the stage for the finale when one of your new friends walked up to you with a full smile and sparkling eyes.

"I'm about to pass out," she whispered, half screaming. She took your arm in her hands and shook it slightly.

"What's happening?" You laughed, seeing her unable to stay still because of the small movements and tiny dances she made with her body.

"You little shit, someone came to see you and I think if you don't make him yours, I'm going to steal him." She raised one of her eyebrows. She watched you look at her confused and frowning, she dragged you towards one of the panels to sneak a bit and get the public view.

"What the fuck-"

"____! You're going in 60 seconds."

"Oh, go, go," your friend pushed you back into line to go on stage.

In all the time you were out there you hadn't seen him, you weren't one to watch the public either but shit if you hadn't stood still for a few seconds after seeing him there, sitting in the third row carefully observing the performance.

Butterflies burst in your stomach and your nerves went over the top. You took a deep breath to come back to yourself and keep giving your best out there, even more so because Taehyung was there. You were happy.

You were dragged into a more private part of the place by a bodyguard, and there was no doubt it was to see Tae. The audience had gone a little crazy when they realized that one of the BTS members was present in the among them, making the exit a bit difficult, but the happiness of the dancers and the entire crew was amazing. They were all talking to each other and congratulating each other on attracting one of the biggest celebrities of the world to see them.

"I can't believe this," you managed to let out a laugh before being wrapped in a pair of arms, causing you to crash into his chest and choke your words on her neck. "What are you doing here?" It was your turn to wrap your arms around his waist closing your eyes to better breathe his perfume.

"Missed you so much," he murmured with his eyes closed. It was no secret that Taehyung was really sentimental, and when he loved, he loved hard. "You were amazing," he smiled with a heart, showing his teeth, pulling away from you a bit to look into your eyes, taking your face in his hands, your arms still around his waist.

"You think?" You asked timidly with hope in your voice.

"I don't think," he kissed yours lips softly and quickly. "I know."

Your smile grew even larger and heat consumed your face. Still you looked around you to confirm no one saw you both share tha sweet kiss. You knew it could burn the whole world if people knew Taehyung came all the way to Paris to see you.

"You're crazy," you laughed out of breath, that man really took your breath away the moment your eyes met.

"For you," he mumbled, "what about we leave and go to dinner?"

"Dinner in Paris? Sounds fancy," you started to walk away from the crowd trying to get a glimpse of Tae, but thank god, they couldn't even see him and more importantly, you. Luckily you had already changed into your jeans moments before leaving in search of Tae. You didn't want to draw anyone's attention to what you got for throwing on a black hoodie and your flats. Although your makeup and hairstyle were still intact. The bodyguards followed you as you led them out to a more discreet place where no one could disturb you.

The stars were shining in the sky above you, the wind moving your hair in a light and not overwhelming way. The sound of the living city was heard slightly below you, away from the hotel balcony where you were.

Taehyung had taken off his suit vest as well as his tie, the sleeves of his shirt were rolled up to his elbows and a few loose buttons to his chest. His curls were messy from the strokes of his hand. You, on the other hand, had the opportunity to change into a light white dress of a light and shiny fabric, accompanied by small heels of the same colour as your dress, courtesy of Taehyung who had thought that you would not have enough time to change later of the show. It was lucky for you, he had taken you to a beautiful and elegant private restaurant, and you knew that without the change of clothes you would have been very out of place. You were grateful, you had a beautiful new Gucci dress, you had delicious food for dinner, and now you found yourself looking down on the city with the man your heart so dearly loved.

"Beautiful…" Taehyung mumbled resting his elbows on the concrete railings as he watched you not so discreetly, though you didn't notice. "Right? This city never ceases to amaze me," you smiled as it was your turn now to watch him. "Well, I wasn't exactly talking about the city, but yes… it's also beautiful." His left arm wrapped around your waist pulling you closer to him. Damn, if your heart didn't want to come out of your chest. With all the control you could have of your body you brought your right hand to his lower back and rested your chin on his shoulder. "Thank you for tonight, it really was perfect."

Taehyung gently cupped your face in his hands leaning back slightly to get a better look at you. It was a lot for you so you couldn't help lowering your eyes to avoid feeling that your soul wanted to leave your body for the moment you were living. "Please look at me," he requested in a low voice, almost a whisper. With your lips slightly parted you raised your gaze to connect with his again, this time feeling an extreme calm that you didn't know if you had known before. His eyes the purest and deepest brown you've ever seen, his flawless skin and his crimson lips. "Would you be mine?" His words left his lips as soft and slow as only he knew how. Your eyebrows rose in surprise, your smile appeared without your control. Was he really asking you to make it official to be a couple? Did he really want to be yours? "What?" you laughed under your breath.

"I said, ____, would you be mine? Please?" His eyes full of hope seemed to reflect the stars in the sky, his hands trembled slightly and he felt a tingling go up and down his spine. He was about to lose him if you didn't say you wanted what he wanted. He longed to be able to share those small moments full of intimacy that only a couple could share, he wanted to tell his friends that he couldn't make it because he already had plans with his girlfriend, he wanted to politely reject other people because he was already taken, he already had a girlfriend whom he madly loved. He wanted to apologize for being late because time got out of his hands for being with you, or arriving at his parents' house with your hand in his ready to introduce you as his girlfriend and partner. He wanted all of that and more.

"Do you really want to be mine, Tae?" You murmured still feeling on a cloud high in the sky but afraid that everything would be a joke.

"Am I not obvious enough, ____? You are the one I flew across the world for just so I could hold you in my arms. And what more romantic place to ask you to be my girlfriend than Paris. The city of love can now be ours… so what do you say?"

"I say you're crazy," you sighed, wrapping your arms around his neck, your fingers gently stroking the hairs on his head as you gazed at him lovingly, "and I'd love to be yours on the condition that you're mine too."

"I would want nothing more than to be yours, love." With those final words, he connected his lips in a soft and slow kiss that reflected all the emotions that were invading them both at that moment. It had really happened, you were already a couple and ypu could not be more in love.

"We will always have Paris, it will always be ours from now on. Just you and me."

[yeonkimintakecare]

Washed Up - Chapter 3

Pairing: Kim Taehyung x Reader; Angsty Fic

Summary: You finally come face to face with the man you once loved, lets just say, it doesn't go how you expected.

Author's Note: Short chapter, sorry. It just felt like the right place to end it for now. I will be working on writing more, and longer chapters from here on out.

Warnings: mentions of alcoholism, mental health issues, swearing, general angst.

(previous chapter)

Rina had picked what you wore, a blue cardigan with a silk camisole and light wash jeans, to give you a mature look, like the character. You were thankful that your makeup and hair had been professionally done as well, because Taehyung looked really fucking amazing. When you first saw him, your breath hitched. He looked so different from how you knew him.

His hair was had grown out and styled messy and in his face, he was wearing a fitted jean with a black t-shirt and a long black overcoat with several necklaces. He had a much colder appearance to himself, he used to be silly and smiley, and now he looked like he could kill somebody with his stare alone.

He bowed to and nodded to people as we walked in and took his seat across from you. You kept your eyes locked on your friend, fearing that if you looked at him that you'd break your composure somehow. But you feel his eyes come around to you, you start to mess with a bracelet on your hand, pretending that you don't feel his stare boring into you.

"Ok, ready when you guys are." Yoongi says from behind the camera guy. You finally give in and look at Taehyung, as much as he had changed, you could still see the man you loved in his eyes. No matter how cold he made them seem, there was still this boyish wonder behind them that just reminded you of the times you had together.

You inhale, exhale, and without looking away from your old lover, you release a small "ready..."

They counted you down and you waited for Tae to start.

"You never loved me back, did you?" He says with his face softened, looking so much weaker than he had a minute ago. Wow this scene is going to be harder than you thought. It was one thing to do this scene with a guy you had never met before, but hearing that come from the only man you've ever loved, hit like a ton of bricks.

But you have to keep going so you don't have time to sit with your feelings, you have to use them to make this scene better.

"Not in the way that you want me to." you say, trying to sell the fact that the character is meant to be older, mature, and is a lot more put together than you are.

"I just don't understand why I'm not enough for you" Your heartbeat quickened from how he was looking at you. You never gave him this conversation. In all honesty, you ghosted him after your company told you to end things. One of the many mistakes you made regarding your relationship with him.

"It's not that you're not enough, it's that I can't give you the love you deserve. You're such a beautiful person, inside and out, and you deserve a girl your age, without any baggage. I have so much going on in my life, all I bring is drama." You feel like you're finally getting this moment to have with him, even if it isn't your own words.

"But I can help you with it, I can handle it." Wow, Taehyung has gotten very good at acting. You thought about watching some of his projects before, but you couldn't bring yourself to. You told yourself you'd force yourself to if you got the role.

"But what I'm saying, is that you shouldn't have to." you notice something flicker in his eyes.

"I'm so tired of people always deciding what's best for me." This shocked you, this was not in the script. "Isn't what's best for me to decide and to learn from it? I'm an adult, I can make my own goddamn decisions, fuck!" He stands up suddenly, covering his face. You just stare at him, blinking, that definitely seemed like what he's wanted to say to you.

Somebody else starts talking to him, you can't pay attention because you're trying to hold back tears. You feel somebody touch your back and guide you outside, you realize it's Rina. She guides you to the bathroom and wraps you in a hug, that opens the floodgates, you start sobbing into her shoulder.

A few minutes pass and you stop crying. She rubs your back while your body shudders, you look into the mirror and all of your makeup has fun. To put it kindly, you looked like shit.

"I'm going to go and talk to some people, you stay here as long as you need to." She says, leaving a kiss on your forehead before stepping out. You find yourself sitting on the floor for a few minutes, trying to catch your breath. Finally, you stand up and clean yourself up, to the best of your abilities.

When you step out of the bathroom, you see Taehyung leaning against a wall in the hallway. He looks up at you and shakes his head, before looking down again. He looked at you with such hate in his eyes, not that you could judge him.

"Are you okay?" you ask, not knowing what else to say. He scoffs.

"Am I okay? That's what you're going to say to me after all this time. A I okay?!" He glares at you, you refuse to let yourself look away, you don't deserve to be uncomfortable about this.

"I know it probably won't mean much to you, but I am sorry for how things went down." You say, trying to hold yourself together. He laughs again, backing off the wall and walking toward you, he's a lot taller than you remember, but you hold your ground.

"You're right, it means nothing to me. You mean nothing to me." he says before walking back into the studio.

What. The. Fuck.