#lambert/letho

[naidleen]

The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt (2015)

[therainbowdragoness]

Witchers on Halloween

Cat School Edition

Decorating the Caravan with ridiculously over the top things, like a skeleton hanging out of a sunroof

Nobody coordinates their costumes because they can’t agree on anything.

Aiden usually does something with Lambert, and since the wolves usually have a theme for costumes, he lets Lamb decide what they’re doing.

The younger cats all hit up a club or something of the like on Halloween night.

They have a competition going too. How many people can they each jumpscare before the night is over?

Rules are, you aren’t allowed to use the same method of scaring someone twice and they actually have to be scared, little flinches don’t count.

The cats either dress incredibly sexy or incredibly scary. Sometimes both depending on the costume.

Dragonfly is the reigning champ of the Jumpscare contest.

If Gaetan is with Letho on Halloween, he’s still playing the game. When people walk up to Letho’s place, he ends up running them off, terrifying them in some demented manner whilst his Viper boyfriend is curled up inside, waiting for his boys to come home.

Guxart splits his time. He stays around at the caravan for awhile, getting buzzed and listening to his old music, relaxing by the bonfire he’s built and handing out candy to any kids that come by the camp. Then at some point he douses the fire, straightens everything up around the caravan for when the kits get back (there’s plenty of supplies for hangover cures in the main camper for morning) and then makes his way over to Vesemir’s place to spend the rest of the evening.

[0dde11eth]

Jaskier showing the kaer morons those little green Army men with the parachutes that he used to play with as a kid

... vesemir sighs... he tried to keep them learning about their existence

Especially now that he's trying to convince them that NO A BLANKET IS NOT AN ADEQUATE PARACHUTE GET OFF THE DAMN ROOF. NOW!!!

[geraskierfanficprompts]

Prompt 13

How was Jaskier supposed to know that the lovely woman he spent the night with had a husband? Let alone a husband in a big scary poacher gang? So Jaskier is hauling ass through the forest, only to get his leg caught in a beartrap. He faceplants (very daintily, prettily, and most certainly not with an embarrassing wail, thank you very much) and begins sobbing with the pain. Not to mention his cheap lute breaking into splinters. Great. Just great. What a LOVELY day he's having! A pure white werewolf with bright golden eyes suddenly prowls out of the bushes, growling at him, and Jaskier decides that today really is his worst day. No matter how majestic the beast is, this is cearly the end of Jaskier the bard. He sobs and begs to live, apologizing profusely, and the last thing he sees is the monstrous snout getting closer. Geralt, the werewolf, is stalking for food for his pack, only to come across one of those humans in their own traps. Except... This human isn't one of them. He's wearing brightly colored delicate clothing, and wasn't familiar with where their traps were. It's an innocent human. One that smells very nice, under all the stench of blood and fear. Wolf!Geralt creeps closer, and pries open the trap, intending on releasing the human back into the wild, but it just kind of stares at him in horror before passing out. Hm. Well, it appears it needs more care than he initially thought. So imagine the other witcher's surprise when he doesn't bring food back to the pack, but instead brings a human to patch up. The moon dips out of the sky, they all turn back into their witcher-human forms, and now they're all SCRAMBLING over what they're meant to do!? HOW DO YOU CARE FOR A HUMAN AGAIN??? FUCK- I DON'T KNOW! Geralt stop petting him, he doesn't like that, he's human, not a wolf! What do you mean he likes it? Oh shit- EVERYONE QUICK PET HIM! No wait- He doesn't like it any more- One at a time pet him! And uh- Fuck- What do normal people eat!?

♡!Optional addons!♡ • (ORIGINALLY A TAG) Is Aiden a werecat or also a werewolf? And if he is a werewolf (and/or a werecat I suppose), perhaps he's from a rival pack (against his will) and needs to be rescued by Lambert as a sideplot • Maybe the poachers find poor trapped Jaskier and Geralt has to fight them off first, or perhaps they come back later, intent on killing the White Wolf • Perhaps Geralt turns Jaskier into a werewolf (Either with his consent or without his consent ONLY if he has to do it to save his life, we don't fuck with forced bonds here, people)

[eskel-loves-lilbleater]

Geralt/Triss or Eskel/Triss?

If I have to chose between those two and ONLY those two, then I definitely go with Eskel/Triss. I feel like Triss & Geralt's relationship, both from the books and the games, has SO many issues that it's rather toxic. I don't hate it, I just think they can do better.

That being said, my actual preferred pairings?

Yennefer/Triss:

Completely fan-based, I know, but I feel they meet on a more even level, have comparable life experience, understandings etc. I think they are better for each other and make each other better, than most of the alternatives.

Geralt/Jaskier:

I mean, it's really Geralt and ANYBODY else BUT Triss or Yen but I understand why him and Jaskier are such a popular pair. Again, they make each other better, for the most part.

I also like Geralt/Eskel and Geralt/Regis however, if I had to pick faves?

Eskel/Regis:

Bloody absolute rare-pair and I don't get it. Lots of people adore Geralt & Regis together (which I get) but I think Eskel would be an even better match. The love of books and philosophy, animals and simple pleasures. And we KNOW Eskel would not have the slightest issue with Regis' species affiliation. Big, brawny Eskel would LOVE someone who can take and give back like a Higher Vampire. Feral Eskel getting all protective and Regis finding it adorable because he REALLY doesn't need it. They would be so sweet together.

Lambert/?:

But what about the youngest, surliest wolf? I mean, any combo of Lambert/Aiden/Voltehre/Milena, I just eat that shit right up. Absolute GIVE ME MORE and I will be happy. (Big thank you to @inexplicifics for creating so much of this and inventing Milena. Big happy spot in my heart!!)

Or Lambert/Eskel lol

Other fave pairings:

Letho/Gaetan

Vesemir/Guxart

Ivar/Keldar

And why is there so very little love for Arnaghad? I need giant bear love!

<3

[multifandomxdisaster]

[meepthemeeping]

[akhuna]

Headcanons for the Witcher story I'm currently working on

Vesemir: Has taken up gardening. Currently trying to bring the rose bushes on his property back to life.

Aiden: Owns a Maserati. Lives on espresso shots. Collects tiny figurines of animals.

Lambert: Borrows Aiden's Maserati (regularly). Spends a small fortune on Lego sets. Has the most expensive, stylish and impersonal flat.

Eskel: Right now recovering from the injury that gave him the scars as well as from serious heartbreak. Loves to end the day with hot chocolate.

Geralt: Chill big brother who holds everything together (don't tell Vesemir). (I'm still fleshing out a hobby for him.)

Letho: Does yoga. Listens to classical music. Loves white tea.

Gaetan: Listens to Industrial and Noise during training and Future Pop to calm himself down. Runs the Database at Headquarters. Loves Japanese food and learns Japanese (in secret).

[pherryt]

Cliffs of Insanity

Witcher with Princess Bride elements. If you couldn't tell from the title. Written for the Witcher Flash Fic ( @thewitcherflashfic )

Rating: T Words: 6935 Ships: Aiden/Lambert, Gaeten/Letho Summary:

When Aiden gets a message from a brother that they're going after a Wolf, he panics.

Also, I can definitely blame @ialwayscomewhenyoucall for this one, though it didn't take QUITE the direction I originally planned when i talked out ideas.

[bittersweetbark]

It's a bit lukewarm - the length of a tootfic was too short to get any of the delicious bitch4bitch dynamics on that I think are possible with that ship - but I spent time researching arsenic for it, so here it is:

microfic Lambert/Letho for prompt "garlic":

"Lambert - you gotta wash your hands when you handled arsenic for your bombs. I can smell it on your breath again." Letho scowled. He always scowled but right now he scowled more.

"Dunno what you mean, must be the garlic we had -"

"I can smell the difference between arsenic and garlic." Letho did that thing where he stared so hard at you it kinda started to hurt. "Do you have a drug problem?"

Lambert scoffed. "What am I, a horse? I won't snuff it from having a little pinch now and then. The stuff in our potions is worse."

"It stinks, I'm not getting anywhere near you like that," Letho called the round and won.

"Shit. It's supposed to help with the hair, ok?!" Lambert instinctively touched his hairline. "Stop laughing. You're the brains and brawns of this operation, but having hair is my thing."

Arsenic used to be used to dope horses, it's a stimulant in low doses; it was also used as an antibiotic before we had antibiotics, and as medicine against hair loss (and leucemia). It can make the breath smell like garlic.

This was another Fedi fanprompt by @fanprompt@a.gupp.e

[astro-nautics]

Thanks @elmonstro for the tag! ✨

Three ships:

Gerlion, from The Witcher. This ship is one of the things me and my boyfriend bonded over when we first met & has a special place in my heart because of it. Also it's just a ship that has so much meat to it. My two favourite characters to smack together for sure.

Rook/John from Far Cry 5. I'm allowed to have a toxic little ship, as a treat. I think the implications of them being together are hilarious & then there's also so much potential for tragedy.

Astarion/whoever will treat him well. Listen, I only got into Baldur's Gate 3 2ish days ago through youtube videos and it'll be a good while before I can actually get the game (depending on when it goes on sale), but that fucked up spiteful little vampire/a healthy relationship is something I really enjoy seeing.

First ship: Naruto/Sasuke from Naruto LMAO

Last song: Particles by Nothing But Thieves

Last movie: Lakka showed me clips last night from the recent fnaf movie but if we're only counting full ones, The Monkey King (2015)

Currently Reading: Witcher: The Time of Contempt; and technically a whole lot of other books that are on the backburner rn because college and such

Currently watching: Baldur's Gate 3 clips on youtube 😔 its for research!!

Tagging: whomever wants to do it ✨

[ammarettu]

Part 2 of King Lark Series is now complete!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/61863232/chapters/158177809

[scrambleddragonegg]

literally the same thing as before because THEY ALL USE HUMOR TO COPE

but i think i want to really flesh out who would be who in this au:

geralt: emt

jaskier: nurse

yennefer: surgeon

eskel: emt

vesemir: retired emt

lambert: firefighter (wanted to be different)

aiden: firefighter

coen: emt or cop (i dislike cops but the griffins are said to have higher standards of social etiquette compared to the others so here we are)

guxart: retired firefighter

letho: cop (detective)

~

ciri: either an emt in training, currently perpetually stuck on desk duty OR a young teen who geralt is fostering (trying to adopt) after her parents were killed in a fire OR her parents were still killed in a forest fire but he’s the godfather so he adopted her

on top of all of that, geralt didn’t even tell yennefer and jaskier what was going on the day he got ciri, he just ran off and came back with ciri and jaskier and yennefer waited until she was asleep to lay into him about it

“of course we’re keeping her here, geralt! did you think we’d send her packing?! you just need to talk to us you fucking buffoon!” vesemir sat and watched them yell with a smile on his face and when they were done he patted geralt on the shoulder, said “good luck” and left

eskel is there the next day with coen and a shit ton of food because yennefer and jaskier should not be allowed in the kitchen and geralt wasn’t in the right headspace to not burn water (he also isn’t a great cook but the house stays up so that’s a plus)

or maybe jaskier just came home from a double and he’s the only one who can cook but literally after yelling proceeded to pass out on the couch

The video message Yennefer gets from EMT!Geralt and Jaskier

[0dde11eth]

Drunk witchers (geralt especially) dance like wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube men

[angelynmoon]

Fic thought:

Jaskier gets tired of how Witchers are treated, he's spent decades with Geralt, watching him be spit on and payment shorted, despite his best effort his songs have done little to change public opinion, and other Witchers have it much worse.

It's after the Mountain, when he and Geralt part ways, not for long, it's never for long, no matter how mean Geralt can be in a moment, the Witcher always finds him again, a gift as a peace offering and apology both, that Jaskier stumbles upon an execution, a Witcher accused of leaving a monster unhunted, but Jaskier knows that no Witcher would do such, he knows that.

That moment changes everything, changes the very course of Destiny, because there is no way that Jaskier can stand idle and watch a Witcher be killed for no reason.

And so Jaskier saves the Witcher, a Letho of the Viper school, who in turns swears his life to Jaskier's protection despite, or perhaps because of, the Bard's protests.

Jaskier returns home for the season, trying to figure out what to do with the Witcher he now has in his service, and he hears of a Cat Witcher that's been enslaved by a King and it's then that Jaskier makes a choice and a plan.

It's easy enough, Letho has toppled kingdoms before, he's a Kingslayer after all, only it's not Letho's sword that takes the King's life, it's Jaskier's.

Jaskier takes over the Kingdom and Court quickly, roots out treason and lies thanks to the Cat he frees, who also pledges his service, he has no where else to go, his past removed before the King bought him, he remembers only what he is, a Witcher, and Letho who can hear lies.

Eventually the rest of the Cats and Vipers find their way to Jaskier's growing Kingdom, as do Elves and like creatures when they hear that Jaskier's Kingdom is a refuge for the odd and mistreated.

Jaskier's not entirely sure just how it happened but by the time Geralt comes to apologize, Jaskier has been a King and been running a Kingdom for at least a year and has an Army that is at least half Witcher, he's been getting marriage offers from people that turned his family down when he decided to go to Oxenfurt to learn music.

Yennifer offered to be his Court Sorcerer, for Melittle's sake.

Jaskier just wanted his Witcher and his people safe, he didn't intend for this to happen.

-

Because accidental Warlord!Jaskier would be hillarious.

No one lets Geralt live down the fact that his Bard conqured a Kingdom so he'd be safe and treated better, also they definately call him Queen Geralt, or at least Lambert does.

[multifandomxdisaster]