#let's experience together. let's create things we want to experience. let's create for the experience of creating. let's experience some art

[omtai]

in-between songs talking transcript (seattle)

under the cut for the sake of your dash because one thing that girl can do is ramble

(between dead! and disappear) Please, water for the boy! How are you! It’s been a very long time, it’s nice to see you! Good news, America! We’re The Black Parade! Brought to you by our most kindest, gentlest, Grand Immortal Dictator… if you would all be so kind as to make some noise! He who shall not die… and has never looked better… and we are being supported by The Draag National Auxillary Band, thank you so very much! Are you ready to have fun? Seattle! Let’s go!

(election) Hello Seattle! It’s a beeauuutiful daaaaay to be hereeee… with yoooou… right now, we’re gonna try an experiment, maybe. Maybe an experiment, maybe a practice of democracy. When you came in, you got a sign. Yes, you got a sign. One side says yea! The other side, says nay. What we are gonna do here is have an election. If you would pay attention to the big red round circle in the centre, you’ll see our four candidates for election. You will get a chance to vote them in or out of office. Seattle, are you ready?! Now, who rejects these individuals and does not want to elect them, say nay! Up, all around! Let me see the black if you disagree! Now I need to hear you. I don’t know. We have a lot more to try. There’s only one more colour. And that’s yea! Who would love to elect these individuals, let me hear you! All together, yeas and nays up at the same time, yea and boo, let me hear you! That’s a lot of fucking yea! Let’s go! Roll! Ready! Set! FIRE! Thank you! Thank you so very much for participating in democracy!

(news anchor after teenagers) Our time has come. (something) A simple act as many. A single word repeats across the stars, and then our hearts create us. And comes the time when all must ask, what cost to hide? What loss so great to scrawl our names in sand, or chisel them in concrete? Goodnight, my friends. Goodnight to all.

(after disenchanted in response to crowd lights) Paris… is beautiful at night. Paris is beautiful.

(starting b stage before im not okay) Please make some noise for Clarice Jensen. A dear friend of mine showed me her music a long time ago, we’re very lucky to have her. So one more time, please make some noise for her. And please, please make some noise for the Violent Femmes. It’s a dream just to have such a legendary band you grew up listening to, just sweet—sweet people, and just wonderful, music, that we’d listen to all our lives. So thank you. We’re My Chemical Romance. We’re gonna play you some songs, if that’s okay. Is it not okay?

(after im not okay) Thank you very much! We’re gonna—we’re? I’m gonna get this glove off. It’s so tight. Urgh! It’s the first time we’ve attempted anything like this. You know, like, all that stuff. Who was at the very first Black Parade show? (something) The stuff. When we had the stuff, and the uniforms… who was there? retty wild. Thank you for coming back. (laughs) Frank said ‘no fuckin’ way’. No fuckin’ way these people are alive anymore if we’re this old. Um, so many people to thank, and we’ll get through them all over the course of this tour, this is the first night of the tour, thank you for being here. We’re gonna shout out to Kayleigh Goldsworthy and Tucker Rule who were helping us with Clarice Jensen over in the Auxillary Band in The Country Of Draag. And all of our crew, thank you so very much. Everybody worked so very hard to make this happen, and there’s so many more people, whatever. We’re gonna play you a song off our first record, if that’s okay. It’s kinda stabby!

(after lady of sorrows) Those lyrics over there, they’re not for our benefit, right? Cause we got our own over here. Those are off the internet. Oh. Oh, I see what it is. I say something, it shows up there. Those weren’t singing lyrics. Yeah… yeah, yeah. That’s really fuckin’ cool. I got a really little mic stand now. All right. We got some shit to get through. This thing is off the um, the uh, second album. Pretty spooky! People used to put their light their—shit up, for this one. Their shit. Hey, I got a quick question, like, um, when you guys put your phones up, why is like it all blue now? Is that just, like, um, the new phones? Does my phone do that too? Everyone’s blue. It’s like, white, and blue. Anyway, fuck it, let’s go, this one’s called (spooky voice) The Ghost… of You.

(after ghost of you) We did, uh, a bunch of rehearsals, so we ran through this a bunch of times, a few times, um, in costume, and then uh, um, and also on here, and every time we got here it’d be like oh fuck, oh my god, how are we gonna do this? So old! That’s all the rest of that. I gotta drink some water, though. Um. Yeah. What was I gonna say? What was the thought I had? Oh, it’s really fun! That was the point. We’re having a great time. Um, uh, who’s coming out to some of the other ones? This part will be different, each time, and I’m sure some shit’s gonna change over there. We got a whole week to workshop that shit, you know what I mean? Gonna put somebody in a fucking rocket, who knows? WHO KNOWS! Alright, you ready to keep going? Let’s go! BRR! (nasally voice) Killjoys! Make some noise!

(after na na na) Thank you so much! So, a lot of people helped put this together, there’s an amazing crew and an amazing cast, a lot of people spent a very long time on this. (gags) Drank too much water, sorry. And, uh, in some cases, feel like a year and a half, two years, in the trenches together, was really just a lot of fucking fun. Um, there’s somebody I feel the need to defend right now because he slapped me so hard tonight that I’m afraid for his life, and his name is Charlie Saxton, and he plays The Clerk over in Draag. But I gotta be honest, you guys had probably wanted to see me get slapped like that for like, twenty years, so… I give the people what they want, you know? Are you like a country (?) Alright, we got more shit to play. There’s no plan around here, about what to say or anything, I’m just drinking water, and we’re all hanging out with you guys. Let’s do what you say, yes? Keep it coming! Mikey Way, let’s go.

(after give em hell kid) Beautiful! Ugh. Frank put this together, I think, the setlist, Frank puts a lot of them together. (german accent) I just feel like dancing this time, you know? Feel like making dancing. Would you like to dance with us like we’re in a dark club? Make good time, yes? What you say? (gags) I got a little fucking hazer in my throat. Whatever. You know what I’m talking about. Everybody’s got hazer in their throat.

(after planetary go) It’s getting a little chilly, sorry. Give me a minute. Haha! Here. That was a safety hazard. So we’re gonna play you, uh, something we don’t get to play often, it’s a B-side off Black Parade. It’s called Heaven Help Us.

(after heaven help us) Ow! Haha. I was talking to (someone) about this. Fuck, this is fun. That song’s fucking good, man. You know, we—all the time, we’re like, man, why the fuck—(cut off by bury me in black starting) Aaagh! You knew how to get me through this, you just started! Oooh! (something), but we keep playing it!

(after bury me in black) That sounds good. It’s a new…day…Charlie Brown… it’s a new day, Charlie Brown. Lay your blockhead down. All new day… Charlie Brown. Two more. Song off the first record. First My Chemical Romance song ever recorded. It’s called Vampires Will Never Hurt You.

(after vampires) I’m gonna drink some water, then we’re gonna—we’re gonna play you one more song, okay, Seattle? And thank you so much. You’ve been—this has been really special. You’ve been very sweet, and patient, and awesome. So lovely.

[sharpth1ng]

do you ever separate your fic from canon or do you just kinda assume this would be the way the movie would go down if we had nice things. like… do you have multiple different ways it would have gone down if it was in the actual movie versus your own ideas.

I guess kinda both? Because tbh I also like the way the movie goes. I think that Scream the movie wouldn't have been as unique or as strong in its message if the killers hadn't died in the end. There's little stuff I'd tweak, like going back to the og script and having them die together, maybe a little more explicit queerness, stuff like that. But I actually wouldn't change the original movie's ending.

When I started writing Debaser the intent was to make the subtext into text, I basically wanted to flesh out what I already saw on screen and bring out the story I saw running in the background of the film. I was actually planning on keeping the ending and killing them both in the finale, but along the way I both got attached and also realized there was some really interesting character development to be explored if I let them live.

I do think there are multiple other ways I could have ended debaser, but I also needed to set things up for WoM, and those other endings wouldn't work with the kind of sequel I wanted to lead into.

Beyond that I think its interesting to have a story that says "yeah sometimes the bad guys win, no its not fair, no they don't deserve it, but also they're people and they didn't get out of the mess they created unscathed either."

I got interested in the idea of trying to give these two very toxic men a healthier relationship that doesn't do away with their characterization. Like what does it look like to try and keep them in-character while allowing them to actually grow and change in certain ways? What if the bad guys get a happy ending they don't deserve?

Overall I see my work as being fundamentally in conversation with scream as a franchise, and as a sort of experiment in storytelling via smut. It's both scream if we had nice things and also scream if it was telling a different genre of story.

Sorry that was a sort of abstract response, I'm not sure if it really makes sense or if its what you were looking for.

[talonabraxas]

“If you pay close attention, you will see that the most masculine man has a feminine soul, and the most feminine woman has a masculine soul.” ― C.G. Jung

Mars and Venus – Love Immortal Talon Abraxas

When it comes to famous forbidden love affairs, Mars and Venus are right up there with Romeo and Juliet! Humans all share the desire to love and be loved, and we’ll do almost anything to make it happen. We’re fascinated with the story of Mars and Venus because we are Mars and Venus…right now! We explore love, power, sex, and passion every day. We seek that person who will claim, complete, and satisfy us. The search for the Beloved between masculine and feminine is eternal. Myths, like Mars and Venus, are metaphors or symbolic stories that communicate deeper truths of existence. Mythology never gets old because it’s about the basic nature of humanity and possibilities of human experience. Michael Meade, in his book The Genius Myth, writes: “Mythic imagination can break the spell of time and open us to a level of life that remains timeless. Myth is not about what happened in past times; myth is about what happens to people all of the time.”

Mars and Venus – Love, Secrets, Shame, Envy

The story of Mars and Venus is one of forbidden love. Venus was married to Vulcan, the old, unattractive, boring god of fire. Vulcan was a blacksmith and matter-of-fact kind of guy who really didn’t do it for Venus. She fell for Mars, who was much more exciting, powerful, and handsome. Vulcan found out about their affair and made a fine iron net trap – so fine it was invisible. His net caught Mars and Venus together in bed, humiliating them as the other gods watched and laughed. Invulnerable Mars seemed foolish all tied up like a fish, but those same gods who laughed were envious. Even Mercury, who expressed the least sexual desire of the immortals, joked that he wouldn’t mind being caught in a trap for a toss with Venus.

Love Conquers All

Being loved by Venus was worth taking a risk. In this sense stories never change. The seduction of beauty, pleasure, and love draws even the most practical of us into compromising situations. We just want to keep feeling that amazing feeling. We’re drawn to Venus moments like a moth to the flame. The erotic nature of Venus and Mars is just the tip of the love iceberg. They also stand for sacred love – the union of masculine and feminine. We’re all a combination of feminine and masculine energy. Like Mars, we fight to assert ourselves with independence and willpower. And like Venus, we long to merge with and absorb life, creating harmony, beauty, and unity. The feminine receives the masculine, just as Venus received her many lovers.

The real risk in love isn’t betrayal. It’s not losing your money in a divorce or being caught cheating. Yes, those are real possibilities, but it’s deeper than that. To love requires choice and surrender. You can’t control what will happen, and if you think have it all planned out, you’re fooling yourself. When you really choose love and surrender to it, you risk change and transformation. Opening your heart without knowing what the future brings lets the present moment flood in. Once you let life in like that, you’ll never be the same. When Venus unites with Mars, she absorbs his fury and tames his temper. In Botticelli’s painting, Mars sleeps like a baby with Venus watching, while the satyrs play with his weapons and try to wake him. He remains adrift in sweet slumber, defenseless. The metaphor of their lovemaking is: Love wins.

Who’s the Real Love Hero?

Venus isn’t all light and Mars isn’t all shadow, but it seems to be easier – and sets a more dramatic story – to make things black and white. Mars in Roman mythology is combative and unpopular. He simply likes to fight and we always imagine him with his sword out, but he maintains a code of honor, confronting his opponents head-on and laying his cards on the table. Venus is sensual, soft, and gentle, except when her beauty is challenged. Her anger over another being declared the fairest is said to have caused the Trojan war. Together, Mars and Venus represent one whole person, but we almost always look at them as separate, just like we separate the parts of ourselves.

What did Venus and Mars create together? From their passionate affair, their daughter Harmonia was born. Harmonia is the Greek goddess of harmony. In particular, she oversees the harmony of marriage and partnership. She’s the soother of controversy in all things. Synonyms for harmony include cooperation, understanding, unity, integration, and oneness. The union of the god of war and goddess of love is cosmic balance. In the end, Harmony is created when the fighter (Mars) returns to love (Venus), but this doesn’t devalue the warrior or masculine. It’s important to remember that feminine and masculine don’t even exist without each other – they are in essence polarities. The story would be empty without Mars giving up his sword. The hero is love and the one who surrenders to love.

[kloss-karliee]

it really does. that image is burned forever into my brain. it sure is a sad one but i'm really just glad that i have good memories of him as well. my boys have great memories of him to live on. she really is the best big sister a girl could've asked for. she's got the mama bear thing going on now, so that fierce-ness is still living boldly in her. she's also got a little boy. who is a bit older than my eldest so i've been watching her protect him since he was born. i think she's another part of the reason i am the kind of mother that i am when it comes to my boys. i'm sure they will understand, it's just hard to try and explain it to two kids under the age of ten. all they really notice is that mommy and daddy don't live together but that they are still getting to spend time with each one of them. they love Oliver though, so i hope that'll soften the blow. i think if that wasn't your dream scenario, i'd be a little disappointed and i'm not too sure if we could be friends haha. i'm only kidding! oh wow! crazy! Oliver is from London as well! he's pretty tickled that Eli is so young that he's picking up some of his accent. and i just know he's going to be excited when our little girl picks it up as well. his mom still lives across the pond so we'll be taking a trip with all of the boys out there after FOJ is born. she absolutely adores them, which makes me so happy because i know this whole blended family thing has to work and Oliver loves them too. i love that you are so close with your family! it's really important to have family around especially with new ones coming into the picture. it is just that, a full cinematic experience is the best describe that i've ever seen. it'll suck the entire time and then you'll have your little one and you'll remember why you went through all of it. they'll just be so perfect that the pain won't even be that big of a deal. it's funny because most of the time we forget that pain in about six months or so and want another little one. i don't know why but it is just something that we have inside of us that urge to create and make life. no matter the pain. it was a blast! Elijah had a ball! his cake was perfect and he had so much fun! i've got a lot of packing to finish up but were getting closer to the move and i think that with all of his new toys, he'll be just fine. i think Levi will be a good bit of help on that note. he's so mature for a five year old. try not to let the time flying distract you from the joys that you're going to really get to enjoy in the moments that the time is going by. my main recommendation is to take a lot of pictures! it'll be worth it. you won't be in ninety percent of them most likely. but you'll be so happy with the proof that they were that little at one time.

That image of him retreating into his office just that once says everything, doesn’t it? There’s something so deeply moving about those rare glimpses of vulnerability from the people we see as unshakable. And Kristine? I love her already. The world could use more sisters like that, fierce, loyal, and just the right amount of terrifying when needed. Absolutely, bring back the legend of big sister Kristine; I fully support the resurgence. What you said about hoping the boys understand one day, it’s so raw and real, and I truly believe they will. Children might not grasp everything immediately, but they feel love, they feel peace, and they’ll grow up knowing you made decisions that protected both. And your ex sounds incredibly thoughtful and committed. That kind of co-parenting, rooted in mutual respect, is a gift, for the kids, and honestly for yourselves too. You’re showing your little ones that family can look different and still be whole. And yes, to soft blankets, wine, and cheese boards, how did you know that’s my dream scenario? I'm already picturing our two little ones snoozing nearby while we sit there bleary-eyed but glowing with survival pride. When I’m not fighting villains on a green screen, London’s home. I love being close to family, and something about the air here always resets me. But after we wrap Fantastic Four promo, I’ll be heading to the States. Josh’s training camp kicks off mid-July, so we’ll be figuring out logistics from there. The only thing I’ve firmly decided is that I want to be back in the UK before my due date. It’s important to me that our little one is born on my home soil, got to give the baby a proper British start, accent and all. That party sounds like a full cinematic experience and I hope it goes off without a hitch. The image of him with his dino blanket and cake and toys is too much, my heart can’t take it. And two years already? I honestly can’t wrap my head around how fast that must feel. I appreciate the warning, though I don’t think anything could prepare me for how quickly this is all going to pass. But hearing your words makes me feel less alone in it.

[pathologicalreid]

a love song for lady earth | s.r.

in which reader has her first experience with munch!spencer

margotober masterlist

who? spencer reid x fem!reader category: smut (18+ mdni) content warnings: oral (fem receiving), munch!spencer, a little bit of overstim, d/s dynamics if you spin in circles and then squint, pwp, cumming untouched, fingering, dirty talk, a little praise word count: 2.16k a/n: this one goes out to everyone who's ever gotten shitty head from shitty guys. also to people who like their men a little pathetic.

“What are you doing?” Your voice comes out higher than you anticipated. The slight panic in your tone sets your boyfriend on high alert, his eyebrows rising in curiosity as he hovers over you.

Spencer pulls himself up until you meet his eyes, concern and lust fusing together to create nothing short of confusion. He studies your expression, investigating your interruption with the kind of delicacy that he always has when approaching intimacy, “Baby,” he starts, “Have you ever received oral sex before?”

Your lips part in surprise, wondering why that’s the conclusion he comes to, “I have,” you respond hesitantly. “I just—” you falter, “You don’t have to.”

His confusion deepens, “I don’t have to what?”

“You don’t have to give me head,” you answer timidly, “Because it’s not— you just don’t have to.”

Languidly, Spencer drags his fingertips up and down your inner thigh, leaving goosebumps in their wake. “It’s not what? Now you have to tell me.”

You groan in frustration, looking up at the ceiling fan while you search for words that won’t set your cheeks ablaze, “I don’t like it, and I know guys don’t like it. So, you just… we can skip that part.”

“Just out of curiosity, what about it don’t you like?” Spencer asks, sitting up fully between your legs, one hand resting on your knee, keeping your legs parted.

Looking down at him, you chew on the inside of your lip, knowing you have his undivided attention when you speak up, “I just don’t get any pleasure out of a guy trying to French with my vagina while I fake moan.”

“Ah,” Spencer breathes, “So, you’ve never received good oral sex before,” he amends his previous question.

Propping yourself up on your hands, you raise your eyebrows doubtfully, “I’m not entirely convinced there is such a thing, and will you please stop calling it oral sex? It sounds so clinical.”

He crawls over to you, putting his face right in front of yours, “Do you trust me?”

You frown, “Of course I do, what does that have to do with any of this?”

“Would you be willing to let me go down on you?” The earnestness in his tone catches you by surprise. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think he wants to eat you out.

Humming affectionately, you tilt your head at him, “Do you really want to? I always thought guys hated doing it.”

Spencer raises his eyebrows, “Then I guess that demographic doesn’t apply to me.”

“Oh,” you breathe, “You can… We can try,” you offer. Nerves twist in your lower belly as his eyes widen ever so slightly, your eyes fall shut as he leans his head forward, pressing his lips to yours while his hand starts to pull at the waistband of your panties.

Your boyfriend’s lips are almost unfairly soft against your own as his hands continue to undress you, pushing your t-shirt up around your waist and pulling down your underwear to the middle of your thighs. Pressing his forehead against yours, Spencer pulls away ever so slightly, “You can always tell me if you want me to stop, alright?”

Nodding, you can’t help but be curious about his plan. You find yourself questioning every partner you’ve had in the past, or maybe Spencer just has a special talent with his mouth—he certainly was good at running it. “Yes,” you say, kissing him again before he moves his head down.

“Thank you,” he mutters, bringing his head back down to where it was before you’d stopped him. Spencer lazily drags your panties down your legs, flinging them across the room to be found later before dropping his head between your knees, littering small, slow kisses along the insides of your thighs. “Pretty girl,” he hums, inspecting your glistening sex with peaked interest.

Your cunt clenches around nothing at his words, earning a chuckle from Spencer as he set on top of your mound, pulling the skin taut before blowing cool air on you. You jump in response, looking down at where he’s smirking from between your legs. Admittedly, you’d never felt so dizzy at the prospect of having a man go down on you, he just looks so pretty.

He hums absentmindedly, “Just making sure you’re paying attention,” he teases.

There could be an air raid siren going off and you’d still be too focused on him to take cover. His movements are calculated as he exposes your clit to the air, leaning his head down and pressing his tongue flat against your folds, licking a stripe before readjusting himself on the bed.

A constellation of feather-light kisses is left everywhere, your inner thighs, up toward your hip bone—everywhere except where you really need him. Your clit aches with need as he continues to tease you, the pad of his thumb skimming ever so slightly over the sensitive bud, relieving only a fraction of the pressure that’s building up. “Spence,” you breathe.

“Are you enjoying this?” He asks, lifting his head up and looking at you curiously.

You nod once, “Are you?” You challenge.

His head drops again, and your breath hitches when he answers, “Immensely.”

Spencer continues but doesn’t move on, studying your anatomy so intently that it only serves to turn you on even more. His hand ghosts over your folds, running a finger over your slit and chuckling when your hips buck up in response to the stimulation.

He could’ve gotten you to beg, had that been his goal, you would’ve babbled please so incessantly that the word no longer held any meaning, but that wasn’t what Spencer wanted. He wanted you to enjoy receiving pleasure in a way that no man had ever wanted before.

“You’re just so fucking perfect,” he murmurs, watching you intently.

Before you had a chance to reply, his mouth was on you again, his tongue deftly slipping between your folds and poking at your entrance. Other than working you up, you didn’t feel any different than you had previously. You give a gentle hum of encouragement—at least he tried, and at least you’d be wet enough for sex.

Spencer curls his tongue, dragging your slick up to your clit, and that’s where he finally got you. His tongue pressed firmly against the bundle of nerves as you squirm beneath him, your body moving faster than your brain as your hips move away from his mouth, “Shh,” Spencer coos, “It’s okay, baby. I know it’s a lot. I’ve got you.”

Taking a deep shuddering breath, you nod. You open your mouth to form a reply, but the only thing that comes out is a breathy sigh.

Carefully, Spencer moves your legs, placing your thighs on top of his shoulders, giving you one more glance before diving back in, kitten-licking your clit while you try to catch your breath.

“Spence,” you cry, feeling an orgasm that you previously hadn’t thought was possible building in your lower belly. A swarm of nerves and aches of pleasure thrumming through your body like electricity.

He readjusts, lifting his head more so that his lips can wrap around the sensitive nub, his mouth gently suckling on it.

At a loss for what to do with your hand, they find their way down to his head, weaving your fingers through his hair as his ministrations drive you closer and closer to an orgasm. Tugging at the soft curls earns a groan from him, the vibrations on your clit causing you to cry out, “Oh my god.”

He drops one of your legs, moving his hand up to grab one of yours before you cum, squeezing his hand as he gently nips at your clit, further encouraging your orgasm.

“I’m— ah, please,” you babble nervously, inhaling sharply as your orgasm washes over you, cunt clenching around nothing as Spencer’s mouth continues working at you, licking softly as your back arches off of the bed, sweat causing the sheets to stick to your skin.

Your thighs are trembling by the time Spencer comes back up, his mouth shining with your arousal as he breathes as heavily as you. His hand cups your sensitive sex when he leans forward, leaning in to kiss your lips.

The taste of yourself on his lips doesn’t even cross your mind as you cup the back of his head and pull his mouth to yours. The tang of your own cunt on your tongue draws a moan from the back of your throat, and you jump when one of Spencer’s fingers gently teases your interest, the sensitivity from your previous orgasm making your head spin.

“Can I go back?” Spencer asks, looking down at his hand briefly before returning to your eyes for permission.

Your mouth gapes, “You want more?”

He groans in response, “Angel, I’d spend all day between your thighs if you’d let me.”

Your stomach flips, mourning the fact that you had plans in the afternoon, “I might just take you up on that someday.”

Lifting your body from the pillows, Spencer tugs your t-shirt the rest of the way off your body, leaving you fully nude in front of him, “Fuck,” he groans, gently guiding your back to the mattress as he attaches his lips to your neck, leaving your fingers clawing at his back.

His head moves lower, nipping and sucking at your collarbones, leaving light marks as he makes his way down to your chest. His lips scatter kisses all along your breasts as he moves down, down, down. Right until he’s right where you want him, and right where he wants to be. “Oh,” you whimper, taking in a shaky breath while he tentatively presses his index finger into your wet hole.

“Poor baby,” Spencer coos at your sensitivity, “You’re doing so well, letting me fuck you with my mouth. All you needed was someone to suck your clit.”

You sigh dazedly in response, every thought in your mind evacuating as his mouth drops to your pussy again, languidly lapping at your cunt while his finger eases into you, “You’re so good at this.”

He hums against you in response, the vibrations causing your body to shudder and your hands to return to their home in his hair. The feeling of his mouth gently sucking on that little bundle of nerves and his finger starting to thrust makes your walls clench.

A strangled moan escapes your mouth when he adds a second finger, his second and third fingers driving into you with a steady rhythm as his tongue flicks your clit in calculated movements. The recognition of your impending orgasm hits you, “’m close,” you breathe, gasping as his movements don’t relent, tears prick at your eyes as you chase that high.

Spencer pushes your legs further apart with his spare hand, keeping your thighs from closing around his head as he moans against your cunt. You pull on his hair, eliciting another groan from him that sends you hurtling into your second orgasm, crying out his name like a prayer as he tapers off his ministrations.

His hand slows first, gently working you through your orgasm as his tongue laps at your clit, gentle movements soothing the hypersensitive spot as you catch your breath, tears trickling down your cheeks as you smooth out the hair on his head. He pulls away from you, releasing your trembling thighs and letting them fall around him as he tiredly rests his head on your abdomen. “Spence,” you whisper, combing your fingers through his hair, causing him to rest his chin on you, meeting your eyes as he wipes your slick from his mouth.

He hums a response, “My love,” he murmurs, eyes closing as he enjoys the feeling of you playing with his hair.

You chew on the inside of your lip nervously, “Do… do you need me?” Your question was tentative, unsure if he wants you to reciprocate.

“Uh,” he says, equally as unsure, “That’s not necessary.”

You raise your eyebrows, “It’s not like I feel inclined to, but I’d like to… to return the favor.”

Spencer shakes his head, “No, I mean I’m taken care of. I already…” his voice trails off, leaving you to fill in the blanks.

“Oh,” you breathe, “Oh.” Your hand comes up to cover your mouth, hiding your smile, “Well I’m glad you enjoyed yourself.” Desperately. You were trying desperately not to laugh at the prospect of your boyfriend cumming in his briefs.

He rolls his eyes in response, clearly unbothered. He seems almost proud, and you suppose it’s not often that a man finishes from giving head. “So,” he starts, moving his hand and using his fingertips to draw stars across your bare skin, “Did you enjoy it?”

You huff in response, the answer is obvious, but he just wants the victory of knowing he’s changed your mind. Who are you to refuse him of that? “Immensely,” you answer.

[burntoutdaydreamer]

Things That May Be Causing Your Writer's Block- and How to Beat Them

I don't like the term 'Writer's Block' - not because it isn't real, but because the term is so vague that it's useless. Hundreds of issues all get lumped together under this one umbrella, making writer's block seem like this all-powerful boogeyman that's impossible to beat. Worse yet, it leaves people giving and receiving advice that is completely ineffective because people often don't realize they're talking about entirely different issues.

In my experience, the key to beating writer's block is figuring out what the block even is, so I put together a list of Actual Reasons why you may be struggling to write:

(note that any case of writer's block is usually a mix of two or more)

Perfectionism (most common)

What it looks like:

You write one sentence and spend the next hour googling "synonyms for ___"

Write. Erase. Write. Rewrite. Erase.

Should I even start writing this scene when I haven't figured out this one specific detail yet?

I hate everything I write

Cringing while writing

My first draft must be perfect, or else I'm a terrible writer

Things that can help:

Give yourself permission to suck

Keep in mind that nothing you write is going to be perfect, especially your first draft

Think of writing your first/early drafts not as writing, but sketching out a loose foundation to build upon later

People write multiple drafts for a reason: write now, edit later

Stop googling synonyms and save that for editing

Write with a pen to reduce temptation to erase

Embrace leaving blank spaces in your writing when you can't think of the right word, name, or detail

It's okay if your writing sucks. We all suck at some point. Embrace the growth mindset, and focus on getting words on a page

Lack of inspiration (easiest to fix)

What it looks like:

Head empty, no ideas

What do I even write about???

I don't have a plot, I just have an image

Want to write but no story to write

Things that can help:

Google writing prompts

If writing prompts aren't your thing, instead try thinking about what kind of tropes/genres/story elements you would like to try out

Instead of thinking about the story you would like to write, think about the story you would like to read, and write that

It's okay if you don't have a fully fleshed out story idea. Even if it's just an image or a line of dialogue, it's okay to write that. A story may or may not come out of it, but at least you got the creative juices flowing

Stop writing. Step away from your desk and let yourself naturally get inspired. Go for a walk, read a book, travel, play video games, research history, etc. Don't force ideas, but do open up your mind to them

If you're like me, world-building may come more naturally than plotting. Design the world first and let the story come later

Boredom/Understimulation (lost the flow)

What it looks like:

I know I should be writing but uugggghhhh I just can'tttttt

Writing words feels like pulling teeth

I started writing, but then I got bored/distracted

I enjoy the idea of writing, but the actual process makes me want to throw my laptop out the window

Things that can help:

Introduce stimulation: snacks, beverages, gum, music such as lo-fi, blankets, decorate your writing space, get a clickity-clackity keyboard, etc.

Add variety: write in a new location, try a new idea/different story for a day or so, switch up how you write (pen and paper vs. computer) or try voice recording or speech-to-text

Gamify writing: create an arbitrary challenge, such as trying to see how many words you can write in a set time and try to beat your high score

Find a writing buddy or join a writer's group

Give yourself a reward for every writing milestone, even if it's just writing a paragraph

Ask yourself whether this project you're working on is something you really want to be doing, and be honest with your answer

Intimidation/Procrastination (often related to perfectionism, but not always)

What it looks like:

I was feeling really motivated to write, but then I opened my laptop

I don't even know where to start

I love writing, but I can never seem to get started

I'll write tomorrow. I mean next week. Next month? Next month, I swear (doesn't write next month)

Can't find the time or energy

Unreasonable expectations (I should be able to write 10,000 words a day, right????)

Feeling discouraged and wondering why I'm even trying

Things that can help:

Follow the 2 min rule (or the 1 paragraph rule, which works better for me): whenever you sit down to write, tell yourself that you are only going to write for 2 minutes. If you feel like continuing once the 2 mins are up, go for it! Otherwise, stop. Force yourself to start but DO NOT force yourself to continue unless you feel like it. The more often you do this, the easier it will be to get started

Make getting started as easy as possible (i.e. minimize barriers: if getting up to get a notebook is stopping you from getting started, then write in the notes app of your phone)

Commit to a routine that will work for you. Baby steps are important here. Go with something that feels reasonable: every day, every other day, once a week, twice a week, and use cues to help you remember to start. If you chose a set time to write, just make sure that it's a time that feels natural to you- i.e. don't force yourself to writing at 9am every morning if you're not a morning person

Find a friend or a writing buddy you can trust and talk it out or share a piece of work you're proud of. Sometimes we just get a bit bogged down by criticism- either internal or external- and need a few words of encouragement

The Problem's Not You, It's Your Story (or Outline (or Process))

What it looks like:

I have no problems writing other scenes, it's just this scene

I started writing, but now I have no idea where I'm going

I don't think I'm doing this right

What's an outline?

Drowning in documents

This. Doesn't. Make. Sense. How do I get from this plot point to this one?!?!?! (this ColeyDoesThings quote lives in my head rent free cause BOY have I been there)

Things That Can Help:

Go back to the drawing board. Really try to get at the root of why a scene or story isn't working

A part of growing as a writer is learning when to kill your darlings. Sometimes you're trying to force an idea or scene that just doesn't work and you need to let it go

If you don't have an outline, write one

If you have an outline and it isn't working, rewrite it, or look up different ways to structure it

You may be trying to write as a pantser when you're really a plotter or vice versa. Experiment with different writing processes and see what feels most natural

Study story structures, starting with the three act structure. Even if you don't use them, you should know them

Check out Ellen Brock on YouTube. She's a professional novel editor who has a lot of advice on writing strategies for different types of writers

Also check out Savage Books on YouTube (another professional story editor) for advice on story structure and dialogue. Seriously, I cannot recommend this guy enough

Executive Dysfunction, Usually From ADHD/Autism

What it looks like:

Everything in boredom/understimulation

Everything in intimidation/procrastination

You have been diagnosed with and/or have symptoms of ADHD/Autism

Things that can help:

If you haven't already, seek a diagnosis or professional treatment

Hire an ADHD coach or other specialist that can help you work with your brain (I use Shimmer; feel free to DM me for a referral)

Seek out neurodiverse communities for advice and support

Try body doubling! There's lot's of free online body doubling websites out there for you to try. If social anxiety is a barrier, start out with writing streams such as katecavanaughwrites on Twitch

Be aware of any sensory barriers that may be getting in the way of you writing (such as an uncomfortable desk chair, harsh lighting, bad sounds)

And Lastly, Burnout, Depression, or Other Mental Illness

What it looks like:

You have symptoms of burnout or depression

Struggling with all things, not just writing

It's more than a lack of inspiration- the spark is just dead

Things that can help:

Forget writing for now. Focus on healing first.

Seek professional help

If you feel like it, use writing as a way to explore your feelings. It can take the form of journaling, poetry, an abstract reflection of your thoughts, narrative essays, or exploring what you're feeling through your fictional characters. The last two helped me rediscover my love of writing after I thought years of depression had killed it for good. Just don't force yourself to do so, and stop if it takes you to a darker place instead of feeling cathartic

[some-teeth-in-a-trench-coat]

[ID: screenshot of a tag that reads "enjoying even" /End ID]

2024 is the year we stop “consuming” and go back to “reading/watching/listening to/playing” things

[onlyheluvsme]

Please please please please please can you do reader being abbys gay awakening and putting those muscles of hers to good use in unholy positions (because i know owen just did missionary and doggy and called it a day)

omg dont get me started on owen,,, love him but i scream at my screen whenever i see him. my girl deserves to be fucked properly, cus ikkkk she would pull out all the stops [especially if she knows its her first time w a woman,,, sweet girl just wants to impress u]

˗ˏˋabby's first time´ˎ˗

gay!awakening abby's first time — mdni, lowercase intended, mentions of: oral, virginity, strap-on, vibrator —*ೃ༄ pls leave reqs !!

you sat on the bed across from abby, it was sweet how she couldn't look you in the eye. she currently had one hand cupping ur right boob, the other fisting the bed sheet next to her leg.

"its okay abby, you can lick them" you refer to your breasts — which happen to be on full display in front of her, abby's already red cheeks go even redder.

"i've never..." abby sighs embarrassed, looking at the her hand cupping ur breast, "i've never done this before, i don't know what to do" she whispers, eyes down casted.

with a small smile, you took the hand cupping your breast and squeezed it firmly. her eyes immediately shot to your hand as it guided hers along your chest. abby had never even thought about a woman in sexually before you, never been with one either. she had countless experiences with her ex boyfriend owen but they never made her this nervous. not even when he had taken her virginity.

the hand abby had gripping to the bed sheet began to slowly loosen its hold as her eyes followed you drag her fingers over your taut pink nipple. something inside of her warmed at the sight of her larger hand in yours, how soft and pretty you looked under her hand.

without thinking, abby's drooling mouth came down onto your nipple. her hands coming up to grip ur torso, stabilizing you to her mouth. she almost felt embarrassed until your hands came up to brush her hair behind her ears and softly pet her as she sucked.

"see? nothing to be nervous over" you whisper, her eyes blown out as her lips and teeth hungrily pull at your right nipple then shifting to the left.

"how about we make this even?" you whisper after a few minutes of letting her explore your chest. the first boobs she'd ever had the privilege of touching that weren't her own.

you lightly pulled her face back and brought your hands down to the hem of her tank top,

"can i take this off you?" you gauge her response, all you receive is a quick nod of her head. her arms go up as you lift the black material over her head, revealing only a white sports bra.

taking advantage of her flustered expression, you climb into her lap with both legs on either side of her thighs. its almost instinctive the way abby's large hands tack themselves to your hips, lighting pushing you down onto her.

abby's eyes came up to look at yours, nervousness and affection on full display. with a small reassuring smile, you brush back any stray blonde hair that fell from her braid,

"can i kiss yo-" she cuts you off with a feverish kiss, pulling you tightly into her, one arm on the back of your neck and the other wrapped tightly around your torso. you couldn't believe abby had never been with a woman before this, it seemed as though she had been keeping this part of her under lock and key.

you push slightly forward, making her fall back onto the bed and press your entire upper body against hers, feeling the warmth of her skin. with hungry kisses abby's hands come down to your hips and pushes them into hers — attempting to create any kind of friction.

"you wanna feel me baby?" you whisper against her mouth, slowly beginning to rock yourself on her. she pulls back from the kiss, her eyes shoot to yours in worry, the last thing she wants to do is mess up.

"its okay baby, look we'll do it together" you kiss her cheek, taking her hand from your hip you run it slowly down your body making her shiver. abby's chest heaves with anticipation as you slowly make your way down to your panty line; and she finally lets out a shaky breath when your hands slip past the fabric and hit your soft wet cunt,

"fuck" abby whispers, she'd never touched a woman's cunt before and she felt almost angry, wishing she had known how soft and warm and lovely it was. you let her hand have its independence in your panties as you let her explore, what you don't expect is for abby to quickly flip you guys over.

with a gasp, you find yourself flat on you back, abby sits up and while making eye contact she pulls back the pink lace of your panties, leaving your cunt cold to the world.

"see baby you just needed a little push" you praise her, but it goes unanswered as she spreads your thighs to find your cunt glistening in slick.

"oh fuck" she repeats, her eyes going slightly hazy at the sight, how the fuck had she never thought of wanting this before? you watch as she heaves out a breath before grabbing your legs pulling you closer to her, then your thighs,

"abby? what are you-" your cut off by abby's hands coming down to grab ur hips pulling your cunt up to her face and wraps her arms tightly around your waist holding you to her.

your head hangs upside down as she holds you up, your legs bending back over her shoulders, and hands shooting to the bed attempting to find your balance in the upside down hand stand like position. her mouth latchs onto your cunt, exploring everything her tongue could.

"my g-god abby" you moan out, stars beginning to line your vision as blood rushes to your head. all you receive in response is a moan to your cunt as she finds your clit.

she pulls back with a soaked mouth, "it's suppose to feel good when i do this right?" abby questions looking down at you as she begins to stick her tongue out and massage your clit, her eyes on you the entire time.

"y-yes baby, feels so good" your eyes closed, head going limp against the bed as you lost all effort to hold yourself up. abby returned to her agonizing licking, her tongue is soft and curious as she explores the first cunt she ever had in her mouth.

all abby could think about was how good you tasted to her, how sweet your little moans sounded in her ears whenever her teeth would lightly scrape against your clit. every little jerk you attempted with your hips was useless against her strong hold. the image of her arms wrapped so tightly around you causing you to leak into her mouth even more.

"wanna come.." you moan making an attempt to rock yourself on her. yet she pulls back with a final suck to your clit making you whimper.

"can we try something?" she says, the warm air hitting your cunt deliciously. all you can give her is a delirious nod, if her mouth was that good for her first time, you can only imagine what else she's thought about.

your body is softly lowered back down, your back fully flat to the bed. you let your eyes close in bliss for a split second and open them to find abby taking out a pretty pink strap on from underneath her bed with shy eyes.

"what's this?" you tease, theres no way she should have one — she'd never been with a girl before you.

"heh.. when i told nora about..." she looks away shyly, "when i told her about us, she gave it to me as a joke" abby looks back at you with red cheeks.

"well it's not a joke now baby is it?" you slowly began to spread your legs again as she stood in front of you,

"do you wanna fuck me with it? hmm abby?" you tease her with your pink cunt on full display.

her red cheeks turned a darker shade as she shook her head yes. all she wanted to do was make you come, her own orgasm being the last thing she was worried about.

slowly making her way over to you, abby fumbled around with the strap until she had it secured to her body.

"are you sure-" you cut her off by pulling her face to yours, not letting her nerves take control.

"fuck me abby, please fuck me" you whisper against her mouth, soft kisses between words. that surely made her weak, so she grabbed both your thighs and collected them to her chest. abby left soft kisses to your shin and then spread both legs with her hands leaving ur cunt on display.

you felt her hand come down to you cunt and in slow circles as she massaged you clit and lined the pink cock to your quivering hole.

"abby please" you whine, the feeling of your previous almost orgasm already having you on edge,

"shhh baby" abby kissed your leg and slowly slid inside you, filling you up completely. your mouth immidately went to an o, eyes rolling back. abby waited for a moment, watching your face before slowly rocking her hips back.

her eyes shot down to where the pink cock entered you, already covered in your slick,

"fuck" she whispered to herself, this was enough to make her come just from looking.

abby's hips started, back and forth, rocking into your wet cunt with fever. her eyes were darting everywhere, your face, your bouncing tits, your soaked cunt. the scene was too much for her when all of a sudden you pause her,

"wait baby" your hand goes to her bicep to pause her movements and you turn to the pillow above your head where you hide a small vibrator.

"put this between you and the strap" you hand her the small vibrator on the third highest setting. her wide eyes look at you with shock, abby knew this was going to destroy her. with shaky hands, abby takes the vibrator from your fingers and fits it between the strap and her cunt, right on her puffy clit.

"want you to feel good too" you tell her, moving your hips again signaling her to fuck you but what you don't realize is the absolute wreck you just gave abby. her eyes have completely shut and the grip she has on the bedsheets on either side of your head displayed her muscles.

if she thought just the sight of you beneath her was going to make her come, this surely was going to do it. her hips attempted to return to their previous pace but this time they jerked and rocked feverishly as abby herself found the vibrator rocked against her every time she fucked you.

"feel good baby?" you wrap your legs around her waist and arms around her neck, attaching yourself to her. the act makes her push farther inside of you, the vibrator pushed against her clit.

"fuck fuck fuck" abby's hips rocked sporadically and unevenly as she drove herself to an orgasm by simply fucking you. her mouth found yours in a hungry kiss as she chased her orgasm.

"baby i'm gonna come" you whine into her mouth, abby's hand comes down to massage your clit,

"fuck fuck fuck abby!" your back arches off the bed as your orgasm shoots through you. abby's thick arms quickly come around your torso and lift you off the bed to her chest as she fucks you into her own orgasm. the rolling of your hips causing the vibrator to rub against abby's clit.

you go slack in her arms and with a few more thrusts, abby sees stars — her own come shooting down her leg, not fully squirting but enough that a heavy stream goes down her leg and into the mattress.

after a few minutes of abby tightly holding you to her, still filling you with her pink cock, do both of you finally catch your breath. abby gently pulls out of you and takes off the strap and vibrator, laying you gently on the bed.

this is when owen would put on his boxers and tell abby he'd see her tomorrow, so you can imagine her shock when you wrap your arms around her neck and pull her to the bed next to you,

"i can't believe you've never done that before" you kiss her sweaty neck.

her arms come to wrap around your naked body, holding you to her completely — the feel of another woman wrapped so tightly to her making her feel so in control.

"i have a feeling it won't be the last time" she whispers against your head, knowing now she's had you, she wont be able to stop.

[abby masterlist]

[emmemmelyn]

How to shift realities right now using the law of assumption

This is a guide that I put together myself using all of the knowledge and wisdom that I've accumulated over the past three years of studying the law of assumption including my experiences using the law with reality shifting!

Going Back to the Basics

What is the law of assumption?

The law of assumption is what you believe is true is what you will see and experience in your reality.

We are creators who are meant to create. Where creation starts is from imagination/the 4D. And what is from imagination/the 4D gets reflected out into the physical/the 3D. In other words, what you see and experience is a reflection of what goes on in your mind (the thoughts that you have and continue to think, the beliefs that you have that you took in from the people who you were surrounded by when you were a child, and the assumptions you formed in your own mind).

For example you believe that you have to work hard to be successful. Because you believe this what you continue to see and experience is you being successful only after working hard.

Another example is you believe that something that you own is a lucky charm and makes you lucky when you carry it around. Because you believe this you see and experience that you are lucky whenever you carry that item around.

How do you manifest using the law of assumption?

Actually, you are always manifesting using the law of assumption. You are just unconsciously doing it. To consciously manifest using the law of assumption you change what goes on in imagination/the 4D by being the person who has what they want already in your mind by knowing what you want, knowing that you have it in your mind, and receiving it in the physical/the 3D.

How do you manifest shifting to your desired reality using the law of assumption?

Let's apply the three steps that I mentioned above to shifting realities specifically...

Step One: Know what you want.

This would be wanting to shift to your desired reality.

Step Two: Know that you have it.

Know that you have shifted to your desired reality already in your mind and be like how you would be long after you have shifted to your desired reality. How would you think long after you have shifted to your desired reality? When you think about your desired reality and living in it how fulfilled would you be?

If you like using manifestation techniques and believe that it helps you then do ONE of these things to "know that you have it":

Go through your day and night affirming and/or visualizing that you have shifted to your desired reality already and you are in your current reality right now because you choose to be.

Go through your day and night affirming and/or visualizing that you have shifted to your desired reality and you are living in your desired reality right now in your mind. (For example, if you are shifting to Hogwarts then while getting ready in the morning in your current reality you would think to yourself, "I can't wait to meet Luna later to go shopping at that crystal shop she was talking about.")

Remember, you are doing all of this IN YOUR MIND.

Step Three: Receive it in the physical/the 3D.

You experience shifting to your desired reality and living in it in real life.

When you stay in the state of already having shifted to your desired reality without having doubts and without wavering long enough then you will experience shifting to your desired reality and living in it in real life (wavering by the way is going back and forth in your mind thinking, "I have this," and then thinking, "I don't have this.").

That's it!

From the moment you want something you have it. From the moment you wanted to shift to your desired reality you shifted to your desired reality. Manifestation is instant. You can manifest things fast. Having this belief that you cannot is only because of conditioning, because of what you believed when you were a child from the people around you and from society. Also, time is an illusion. This is because you manifest your desire the moment you get into the state, the moment you believe that what you are telling yourself is true.

Furthermore, manifesting is easy and natural. You don't have to know how things will manifest in the physical/the 3D. That is not your job. Your job is to know that you have what you want now. Know what you want and go through with it in your mind long enough until it manifests in the physical/the 3D.

Other Things to Note

I know that most of us like to use shifting methods (myself included lol), so this portion is for those of you who do! You DO NOT need to use a shifting method to shift to your desired reality, but if you believe that using a shifting method will help you to shift you to your desired reality then do this...

When the time comes to use your shifting method believe that you will shift to your desired reality after using your shifting method.

If you see in the physical/the 3D that you don't shift to your desired reality after using your shifting method..that's okay. Don't be so hard on yourself. Keep acting as if.

Affirm and/or imagine that you have shifted to your desired reality:

"I shifted to my desired reality."

"I woke up in my desired reality."

"I opened my eyes in my desired reality."

Then, go to sleep knowing this or go on with the rest of your day or night continuing to know that you have shifted to your desired reality already in your mind.

Your subconscious mind cannot tell the difference between what is real and what is not real so as long as you keep telling yourself the same affirmations (affirmations are just new thoughts that you want to have) then your subconscious mind will eventually take it as true and they will be your new assumptions or beliefs. And because your assumptions or beliefs create the physical/the 3D you will eventually experience shifting to your desired reality.

I hope this helped any shifter out there in some way!

With love, Emme

[etherealkissed88]

how i manifest when i feel anxious •°. *࿐

i decide i have what i want…

when i feel anxiety -> i let it pass while knowing its only a human reaction

◦ since i am beyond just a human (i am limitless imagination/self), i know any anxiety is below me and it has nothing to do with my limitless self. i have exactly what i decided i have, regardless of any anxiety.

know anxiety usually comes from a fear of failure

◦ so, i cannot limit myself based on what i see or what i negatively assume my future will look like bc i am always beyond the 3d, no matter what feelings/anxiety my human self experiences.

◦ i become indifferent/i dont care about what i see or what i assume i will see because i know everything comes together in the 3d once i change self/know its done. fact: everything always comes together and works out in the end. being indifferent to the 3d = being indifferent to emotions, anxiety and everything that doesnt serve you.

dont fight it, dont avoid it, tackle it head on

◦ acknowledge you are experiencing anxiety bc you are. yes it can feel like shit but it doesnt have to affect who you are being (whatever version of self you are embodying). again, i can choose to be indifferent to this anxiety. you dont have to be scared of the anxiety. it is a natural human response. cry if you need to, let it all out. dont try to suppress it bc that will only come to bite you back in the ass, believe me.

◦ take care of your mental health in whatever ways necessary. when i used to experience anxiety, i used to take walks in the park, clear my head, meditate, express myself and my emotions through art and journaling, etc. remember nothing you do (or feel) in the 3d has to affect who you are being/your state.

"how can i still have anxiety yet still be a desired version of me?"

anxiety has no affect on anything unless you allow it to change your identity. you are the one with power, the anxiety is only an experience, similar to breathing in oxygen and using our sense of touch; its all neutral. when you start surrendering to the anxiety, you are creating and accepting negative stories that you create based on the feeling of anxiety. allowing that anxious feeling to change your state/identity is surrendering to something you view as more "powerful" than you. stop transforming that anxiety into a state that you embody based on the false, negative stories u imagine.

remember a 3d experience or anxious feelings doesnt have to influence who you are being. an example: a model who knows (fulfilled) that she is graceful and beautiful can have anxiety about doing her catwalk. the anxiety is normal, she can experience the symptoms of anxiety (shortness of breath, dry mouth, shaking) but her core identity/state is still a graceful model. the anxiety is only a temporary feeling. usually when we experience these feelings, they occupy all of our attention in that moment which is why it seems so scary but in reality, its not that big a deal. know that anxiety is just a feeling. you are safe. you can still experience shitty feelings while knowing you are a bad bitch!

you dont always identify with everything you experience. for example, a lot of people experience good things and still identify as people who are unworthy of good things. so its really up to you to choose what to identify with.

i know my only job is knowing its done

◦ if i just decided its done, as the operant power, as i say goes, therefore its done. so my job is done. anxiety is part of the 3d, not my limitless self, imagination. so i can be indifferent and experience it without identifying with it, the same way people manifest what they desire while experiencing their shitty circumstances daily (because they do not identify with those shitty experiences).

◦ ive heard/experienced situations where we know its done yet we cried and felt like shit, and what we wanted still manifested into the 3d. bc anxiety is only a feeling. do not allow your feelings to take hold of your state, but if it does, its never the end of the world... just get back in the state. 3d shit/anxiety doesnt have to intervene with who you are being/what you identify with.

kisses, jani ☆

[strangererotica]

EXPLICIT CONTENT | MINORS DNI

Art the Clown x Reader SMUT • headcanons, how Art fucks, what he gets off to, etc

big content warning! contains some stuff that may gross you out; read at your own risk: menstruation kink, piss kink, oral sex, anal sex, object insertion, blood kink, various weapons mentioned, bondage, human hair and bones, butts and what comes out of butts, public sex, cockwarming, mostly dom!Art and sub!reader

🔪 Remember the work desk with all of Art’s weapons and tools on it? He knows you want him to fuck you, but he’s got shit to do (meaning weapons to build) so he lets you sit under the desk, cockwarming him while he works. You’re on the ground between his knees, patiently holding him in your mouth. When he finishes constructing his latest instrument of torture/slaughter, Art pats his palm against his thigh, wordlessly telling you to climb up into his lap and ride him.🩸

🔪 Art enjoys blood and guts, so it goes without saying that during your period, he’s particularly eager to fuck you. He can detect the slight change in your scent, usually aware you’ve begun to bleed even before you know. He plays with your pussy like it’s a new, special toy when you’re bleeding, spreading your lips and tracing his name on your inner thighs in red. Seeing/touching/tasting blood that comes from you is special to Art. It’s the only time he gets to play in blood without it being the result of him hurting someone, so that makes the experience unique for him. He saves your used pads for ‘alone time,’ using them later as a ‘sleeve,’ to masturbate with.🩸

🔪 Art sometimes fucks you with unconventional objects, like the handle of one of his weapons (knife, axe) or the neck of a bottle. If you’ve displeased him but he still wants to fuck you, he might deny you his cock and instead use something else, like the handle of one of his knives or the barrel of an (empty!) gun, to make you come instead of his cock, as a degrading ‘punishment.’🩸

🔪 Art loves bondage. He knows what he’s doing when it comes to tying knots, as evidenced by the multiple victims you’ve watched him restrain. He enjoys the power dynamic of being in absolute control of another person. When that crosses over into sex, you both get off on him tying you up and doing whatever the fuck he wants with your body.🩸

🔪 Art’s methods can border on sadistic at times (I mean how could they not??) but because he wants to keep you around to play with for the long haul, he never pushes you beyond the limits of safety, no matter how many new ways he comes up with to plug every hole in your body. If we know anything about Art, it’s that he’s perceptive. He studies the way your body responds to different forms of stimulation and mentally catalogs the information for later. All of his skill in crafting tools of torture means he’s able to create customized ‘toys,’ to fuck you with. But the thing is, they’re never normal, or sweet; they always contain something fucked-up and sick. Art once surprised you with a whip he’d put together for you. Its strands were soft and felt so good gliding over your clit. You came so hard when Art whipped your pussy till it was puffy and leaking. It would have been a wonderful gift, if you hadn’t realized later, upon closer inspection, that the strands now wet with your cum were in fact strands of human hair. And the custom dildo Art made for you, the one that was so smooth and colored beige/white? You later found out Art had chiseled and smoothed down a human bone to make it for you. The information almost made you sick on the spot. Art found your horrified reaction hilarious, of course, and it didn’t stop him from laying you down and fucking you with it all the same…🩸

🔪 ANAL ANAL ANAL ANAL ANAL ANAL …

He loves to fuck you in the ass. Art’s a nasty little motherfucker when it comes to the stuff that comes out of butts, and I’m not gonna elaborate here, but you can use your imagination to follow where I’m going with this…🩸

🔪 Art has zero inhibitions: he kills anyone, anywhere. Imagine that relating to sex; of course he’s going to fuck you wherever he wants, including places where you might get caught. Sex in public/risky spaces feels natural to Art, because he literally does not give a single fuck. Remember the first time you ever saw him? When you stumbled out the back door of that sleazy little bar in your home town, so drunk off your ass you thought you were leaving through the front? Art was in the alleyway behind the bar, black garbage bag hoisted over his shoulder, not even looking for anyone to fuck up but when he saw you, he knew he’d found a victim for the night. He’d planned to stalk you home and do unspeakable things to you-but as you took the lead and approached him, there in the alleyway, he was caught off guard, his whole plan upended the moment you slid your arms around his waist, stood up on your tiptoes, and placed a soft, sloppy kiss on his cheek. He was awestruck, and even if he could speak, Art would still have been at a loss for words. You walked him backward a few steps, lining him up against a dumpster in the alleyway. You began fondling him through his costume, grinning when you realized his body had already begun to respond. One thing led to another, and within minutes, Art had you bent over that dumpster, with a fresh hole torn in the front of his costume where your bodies were joined…🩸

🔪 No one would associate The Miles County Clown with tenderness, but if they knew Art, they would see a softer side of him only you do. He’s still fucking deranged, don’t get me wrong. But Art also has moments of vulnerability, when there’s nothing he wants more than to hold you. Sitting in Art’s lap, he wraps his arms around you and stays still, so still, just enjoying the soft thump of your heartbeat against his, and the low hum of your breath on his chest. Your nearness calms the monster inside Art so well that sometimes, he forgets he is the monster itself…🩸

🔪 Another benefit of having you in his lap? Art realized he could use his strength to make you stay in his lap no matter how badly you had to get up and take a piss, forcing you to wet yourself all over him. You felt him gradually getting hard under you as you began to wriggle on his lap. Art could see your discomfort, and when you told him you needed to get up and take a piss, he refused to release you. You’d expect him to be smiling at you at a time like this, silently mocking you; but the look in his eyes was deathly serious, pitch black and full of a demented lust that would have had you locked you in place even if his arms hadn’t. Blushing into his shoulder, you accepted the fact that Art wasn’t letting go of you any time soon, and that he really was into this. He wanted this to happen. You allowed your bladder to empty, a soft trickle saturating your panties, followed by a steady stream of hot piss that spread over Art’s lap. His clothes were soaked through below the waist, your piss running down between his thighs and dampening the couch cushion beneath you. Art was rock hard by this point, his wet cock throbbing against your pussy. He lifted you off his lap just enough to reach between your bodies and position his tip against your entrance, then used your piss as a lube to slide inside you…🩸

[kayleigh-83]

By popular demand (I saw two people asking) I thought I would throw together a quick guide to using the road editor tool in the newest version of SimPE! You'll see that this is a very easy tool to use, and best of all, goof-proof. If you do mess up (you probably will) it's very, very easy to correct.

Very, very, very important to make a backup of your hood before you ever do any tinkering in SimPE! I also recommend practicing on a test hood you don't actively play in to get a feel for it before you do anything to your main hoods.

We're starting with a vanilla Strangetown. I would recommend going in your game and taking a nice overhead screenshot of the hood like this first to look at for reference of where everything is situated the way that you're used to looking at it.

2. Open SimPE, go to Tools> Neighbourhood> Neighbourhood Browser and open the hood you're wanting to work on. If you're not so familiar with SimPE, opening your hood can take some time. Touch nothing until it's loaded!

3. Once it's all loaded, from the Resource Tree list pick Neighbourhood Terrain Geometry (NHTG). Then you'll see one file populate the Resource List - click that. Make sure on the bottom that you have Plugin View tab selected.

4. Now you should see this map of your hood pop up! There are different things you can toggle, I like to check the Show Lots box when I'm editing the roads. Then click the Road Editor button on the right.

5. To be able to see better, I've pulled this Plugin View window up a bit - it may rearrange the Resource List and Resource Tree windows a bit to accommodate. You can also press the Zoom 2x button to see closer, and then you'll have to use the scroll bars to move around the map and the road editor tool.

6. The road editing tools here will be placed down in the same orientation as the map. So the two parallel roads running through Strangetown from this perspective are the vertical straight road pieces (top row, second from left).

When you select a road tool, above it will indicate which tool you have selected.

Also - I recommend having Handle Stop Signs ticked.

7. Once you have the correct type of road selected for the spot you're working on, simply click on the map - it lays it down one tile at a time. If you miss a spot like shown here, just fill it in.

8. If you want to create an intersection, first delete the section of road where the intersection will go.

9. Then choose the type of junction for the intersection you're making, and add that piece in. You'll see a red circle appear (unsure if this is because it's an intersection or because you have handle stop signs selected, but I recommend you do have that selected either way).

10. Once you're done making all your changes, click Close Editor.

11. This is the part where you save your changes! First click Commit in the top right of the editor. Then, File> Save!

12. Load your game to check! Looks pretty good with all those new roads!

13. However, we have indeed made some mistakes! Which were absolutely for illustrative purposes and not truly an accident.

14. Never fear! Simply reload the hood in SimPE - I've deleted the spot where the T-junction should go and added one in, and deleted where the road just ended abruptly and added a proper end piece.

I have not experimented with what happens if you try to build a road through hood deco - if you have, please let us know in the comments how that went!

I also have barely touched the terrain editing tools, so that's outside the scope of this tutorial.

I hope this helped!

[dragonsondragons]

Prologue - Hard To Resist | You Should Probably Leave series

In which Jack���s therapist challenges him to enjoy the daytime and he admits he has a work crush.

Content: yearning!jack, medical social worker!reader, reader is Jack’s work crush, slow burn, tons of therapy, working through trauma, Jack on his #healingjourney, angst, unspecified age gap. 

Word Count: 2.1k

Authors Note: Enjoy the first little snippet of this story! This part is solely Abbot's POV during a therapy session, but next part we will see him interacting with reader and the rest of the Pitt crew. Yay! Let the yearning begin, hope you enjoy :) This series is based on the song You Should Probably Leave by Chris Stapleton, I would highly recommend giving it a listen before/while reading.

(I thought this gif from Chicago PD was so Jack at his therapists office lol)

[Next part] [Masterlist]

Jack’s therapist had recommended that he try to get more comfortable in the daytime. His relative ease in the darkness of the night was a useful coping mechanism for a time, she explained to him one session, but he didn't have to be in fight mode anymore. She was encouraging him to seek out safety and connection in the daytime so that his past had less control over his present. 

Jack had scoffed when she said that. Because what else does his past do than rear its ugly head every moment of every day? And did he even want to forget it? All of those soldiers he couldn’t save? They deserved to be remembered. 

“This isn’t about forgetting them,” she reminded him, “but rather processing your past experiences so that they are less distressing in the present. Putting yourself outside of your comfort zone of the night could be empowering. It could give you enough space to hold those people with you and move forward living as full of a life as you can. In their honor.”

“In their honor,” Jack echoed, mulling it over. He could do that. He wanted to do that. Move forward. That’s why he was doing all this work in therapy. But one thing he had come to find out, is that actually changing is a lot harder than knowing you want to. 

“Any ideas on what could be your first attempt at enjoying the daytime? Maybe some sort of social interaction,” she led him with her question. Her and Jack had talked about the power of improving social bonds before, how they can create community and give someone a deeper experience of life. Jack promised to give it a try but admittedly doesn't follow through much on that one. Jack didn’t really want a deeper experience of life if that meant opening yourself up to feeling all the pain that comes along with it more deeply, too.

“I don’t know, doc. I don't have many friends.” 

“Outside of work, you mean?” she said, surprised at his statement. He spoke of his coworkers all the time, they seemed plenty friendly.

“Well…there’s Robby. We hang out outside of work.” By that, he means that they push each other around at beer league hockey when their work schedules allow it and then grab a beer after. Other than that, their main points of interaction are admittedly at work, often on the roof of PTMC. 

“Yes, there’s Robby. But that's not exactly out of your comfort zone. That's pretty firmly within it from what I know.” Jack was silent, not keeping eye contact like he usually does. She could see there was something he wasn’t letting on. She never forced Jack to talk about anything he wasn’t ready to. That's something he appreciated about his therapist. But she also knew when she could push him a little bit. “Anyone else, then?” He’s silent again. She let it simmer, waiting for him to fill the gaps.

“There’s someone I work with,” Jack blurts out, his ears turning red. His knee was bouncing up and down. 

Your face flashed in his mind and he wrung his hands together. Jack was usually good at composure, but he found himself starting to crumble at the mere thought of you.

“You seem a little nervous. Care to tell me more about this someone?”

“Uh, well…yeah, she makes me a little nervous sometimes. But mostly she calms me down.” He wasn’t letting on much.

“Hmm, what about her calms you down?” his therapist hummed, encouraging him to continue.

“She's a social worker in the ED. Smart, caring, great at what she does,” he rambles. “We eat lunch together sometimes. If the timing works out on shift. When I'm having a shitty time at work… sometimes she makes me feel better. Just her being there.” He thinks about your knee brushing against his under the table after he made you laugh. Some stupid story about a guy who broke his femur literally slipping on a banana peel.

“So what about her makes you nervous then, if she makes you feel better?” 

“I mean– she's beautiful, that's mostly what makes me nervous.”

I can’t believe I just said all that, he facepalms internally. With all the respressing Jack does, sometimes a feeling will just catch up to him out of nowhere. There are a lot of things he used to distract himself throughout the day. From working in the ED or drowning out the silence at home with the police scanner, to working out until his whole body ached and volunteering at the VA. But there was never enough to fully distract him, eventually whatever it was he was trying to prevent floats to the surface.

After losing his wife years ago, after losing his brothers in a desert overseas, Jack had played it pretty close to the chest with his feelings. If he doesn't show his emotions, even to himself, then he could try to pretend they don’t exist. That the pain doesn’t exist. 

But that's why he’s in therapy, because the pain still very much exists. And one day he finally realized he couldn’t go on any longer without doing something about it. That was more than a year ago now. 

For this to work, you have to be honest with me, he remembers his therapist saying in their first session. But most importantly you have to be honest with yourself.  

If he’s being real honest with himself, he likes you. He had barely even admitted it to himself before today, but god he likes you. And with each day you were getting harder and harder for him to resist. 

Now, he had practically announced the crush to his therapist. Admitting out loud that he has some type of feelings for you made him more nervous than anything else. He couldn’t deny it now. Time to be honest.

“Maybe you should invite her to do something with you,” she proposes with a knowing look. 

“I don't know if that would be a good idea,” Jack says earnestly. Maybe he had admitted the crush but that doesn't mean he was ready to do something about it. 

“Why’s that?”

“Because she probably doesn't want anything to do with this,” he gestures around himself vigorously, slightly worked up. “I’m a little fucked up, and scary, I guess… I’ve heard people say.” And old, he thinks to himself, too old for her at least.

“Did she tell you she wants nothing to do with you?”

“No.”

“Then you don't know that. You said you eat lunch together. If she chooses to spend her valuable break time with you she likely enjoys being around you.” His face is full of apprehension. “You’re allowed to let yourself have good things, Jack.”

“There’s this part of me that wants to believe that,” he admits quietly. He’s opened this door now and there’s no closing it. He can’t help being drawn to you anymore. “But there's also a louder part of me screaming run.” He leans forward and rests his elbows on his knees, head hanging and taking a deep sigh.

“Remember that the brain’s automatic response is not always logical. Sometimes the loudest voice is actually the most illogical. And if you listen to it, it can cause you to spiral.”

“I've been thinking about that one, doc. I’ve been trying. To stop the spiral.” That’s one of the biggest challenges for him. To not let flashes of dark moments spiral into a category five hurricane. To take back his agency over his thoughts.  

“Good. How is it going?” He blows out a long breath, leaning back into the chair and crossing his arms in front of his chest. “Not so great. For a long time, my automatic thoughts,” he puts up air quotes around the phrase, “My instincts, they saved my life. Saved other guys lives in the med tent. So it's kinda hard to rewrite that pathway.” A lot of the time, he couldn't help but feel like ordinary decisions still meant life or death. So much anxiety had built up inside him that it felt like if he chose the wrong thing at the grocery store a bomb would explode.

“You’re not at war anymore though, Jack. Letting yourself enjoy this woman’s presence in your life won’t get anyone killed.” 

“Yeah.” Again, he’s quiet, remembering. 

“Part of processing is not letting past trauma control the now. Remember, things can be different this time. You’re encountering a whole different set of challenges in the present that don’t always require the tools of the past.”

“My shrink, always so wise,” Jack jokes.

“I asked you not to call me that,” she scolds him.

“Sorry, got a lot I'm working on at the moment.”

This gets his therapist to crack a smile, glancing down at her watch. “Time to wrap up. Keep working at that– making the choice to challenge your automatic thoughts. What's important is that you try to recognize them as they pop up and inquire as to why you may think that it’s true. It takes time and repetition, but you’ll get there. You’re doing well, really.” 

“Thanks, doc.”

“And don't forget your homework. To do something out during the daytime. Not errands or the gym, but something you’ll have fun doing.”  Jack rolls his eyes. She must really think I'm a snooze fest, he thinks.

“I know you can have fun, Jack. You’re human, just like the rest of us.” Sometimes he felt like a cyborg forged for war that would never be wired for civilian life ever again. But that’s all he was now, a civilian. A doctor. Not a cyborg, just a man. Through the sludge of his past– all that he’s seen and felt– what he has to do now is figure out how to live again. Too many years have passed him by in a haze.

“Whatever you say doc.” He does a loose salute with his fingers as he gets up from his chair to exit her office. “See ya next week.”

“See you then,” she responds, scribbling down notes from the session as he steps out the door.

“Oh!” she yells after him. “And I’ll give you extra credit if the fun involves this woman from work.” 

Jack only scoffed in response, then blushed in the elevator all the way back down to the lobby.  

————

Driving from his therapist’s office to the pit, he brainstormed what he could do for his “daylight assignment”. Just the thought of it was setting him on edge. All of the people and noises and atrocities that happen while everyone is awake. He’d do whatever this is in the day time, sure. But firmly in the afternoon so that the comfort of night would come soon enough and greet him, he decided. 

He wants it at his own house too, in his own space, to help dull the anxiety inside him. That would have to mean inviting people over. At least it would be people he chooses to invite, another element he could control. Robby, Dana, Shen, Ellis— they knew Jack, didn't expect too much from him. 

Then there was you. You who had boundless empathy for any patient that walked in the door and extensive knowledge of any resources that could help them. He admired your commitment to the patients and their families, in supporting people outside of just their medical needs. And of course, you radiate beauty like a goddamn emergency department Snow White. 

Your presence simply made Jack feel at ease, and in a place like the Pitt that was a very welcome feeling. But as much as he craved it, Jack was not used to feeling at ease. Eventually, his mind would rebel and tell him to retreat; that the peace was too good to be true. He couldn’t let himself have this. It was too risky. He had to resist.

Automatic thought! He warned himself. Ugh. Jack was tired. Tired of having to be so vigilant even inside his own head. Tired of whatever devil was on his shoulder always whispering in his ear. No, not whispering. Yelling. His therapist was right, the thoughts were loud. What had she said? Inquire why you think these thoughts may be true, he recalls. 

Why does he think he has to resist? Because everything good he’s ever had falls apart. Usually he was the one who ripped it apart. Never on purpose, just through being who he was, who life and war had made him.

Things could be different this time, Jack reminds himself, drumming his thumbs over the steering wheel. He sighs deeply, groans.

As much as he was spooked by the revelation that he couldn't contain his desire for you so well anymore, he was also enflamed by it. He wanted an angel on his shoulder. He wanted you. 

The voice inside of him saying that wasn’t harshly yelling, there were no flashing lights or sirens. It was steady, calm, all encompassing. And pure warmth. Maybe that’s how he can tell it's the right voice to listen to. 

Fuck it. He decided. I’m gonna throw a party and she’s gonna be the goddamn guest of honor. 

[satellite-evans]

having my baby

a/n : a cute little blurb enjoy <3

warnings : fluff, pregnancy complications

The bedroom carried the comforting scent of vanilla and freshly laundered linen, while the lights draped along the headboard cast subtle shadows along the walls. Outside, the gentle drizzle of rain tapped softly against the window, creating a tranquil symphony.

Harry sat at the foot of the bed, his green eyes clouded with concern as he watched his wife shift slightly, struggling to find a more comfortable position against the mountain of pillows he had stacked behind her. His fingers itched to do something—to ease her discomfort, to make this experience less frustrating for her.

“Alright, love?” he murmured, reaching out to tuck a stray lock of hair behind her ear.

She sighed, a mix of exhaustion and fondness. “As alright as I can be when my feet look like marshmallows and our baby is apparently training for the Olympics in my belly.”

Harry chuckled softly, though his brows furrowed as he took in her tired expression. “I wish I could do more,” he admitted, his voice laced with guilt.

She reached for his hand, giving it a squeeze. “You’re already doing everything, H.”

Still, it didn’t feel like enough. He had been fussing over her endlessly since the doctor had placed her on bed rest due to complications. And while she loved him for it, she also felt restless, frustrated that she could do nothing but sit in bed while the world continued on without her.

Determined to lift her spirits, Harry suddenly disappeared, only to return moments later with an armful of things—a book, a puzzle, snacks, and the remote.

She narrowed her eyes at him. “Harry…”

“I figured if you can’t get out of bed to do things, I’d bring everything to you.” He grinned, setting them all on the mattress beside her.

She let out a small groan, rolling her eyes. “Harry, you don’t have to—”

“I know,” he interrupted gently, brushing his thumb over the back of her hand. “But I want to. You hate being stuck in bed, and I just want to make it a little more bearable.”

Despite her annoyance at the situation, her heart softened. “You’re ridiculous.”

“And you love me for it,” he said with a wink before picking up the remote. “How about we just watch our favorite movie instead?”

She sighed, nodding. “Fine. But I get to pick.”

Harry smirked, already knowing what she would choose. As the opening credits rolled, he shifted closer, wrapping an arm around her as he placed small, featherlight kisses along her neck, his warm breath sending a shiver down her spine.

“You’re so beautiful,” he murmured, lips brushing just below her ear. His other hand rested gently on her belly, his thumb tracing soothing circles. “And you, little one,” he whispered to the baby, “you’re giving your mum a hard time, aren’t you? Be kind to her, yeah?”

She chuckled, her fingers lacing with his over her belly. “I think they take after you—already dramatic.”

Harry gasped in mock offense. “Me? Dramatic? Never.”

She laughed, shaking her head as she leaned into him. “I love you, you know.”

He pressed another kiss to her temple. “I love you more.”

A comfortable silence settled over them as the movie played in the background, but Harry could feel the tension still lingering in her body. He adjusted their position slightly, rubbing slow, deliberate circles on her back. “Talk to me, sweetheart,” he urged softly. “What’s on your mind?”

She sighed again, shifting against him. “It’s just… hard. I hate feeling helpless. I want to do things, move around, prepare for the baby. But I can’t. And I know I have to rest for their sake, but it’s just—” she huffed, frustration evident in her voice. “I feel stuck.”

Harry pressed another kiss against her temple, his voice soothing. “I know, love. I wish I could change it for you. But you’re not alone in this, yeah? We’re in it together.”

She turned her head slightly to look at him. “Even if I’m moody and frustrated all the time?”

He grinned. “Especially then.”

She laughed softly, resting her head against his shoulder. “You’re too good to me.”

“Nah,” he murmured, tracing soft patterns on her belly. “Just head over heels in love with you.”

For a moment, they sat in silence, enjoying the comfort of each other. Then Harry whispered, his voice filled with warmth, “You know, I can’t wait to meet them. To see if they have your nose, your smile…”

She smiled, placing her hand over his. “I think they’ll have your dimples.”

“Oh, absolutely,” he agreed with a playful smirk. “And your stubbornness.”

She rolled her eyes. “We’re in trouble, then.”

Harry chuckled, kissing the top of her head. “The best kind of trouble.”

And as the rain continued to patter against the window, they stayed wrapped up in each other, finding comfort in the love they had built, waiting for the little one who would soon make them a family of three.

[oncelerfucker]

"Mark and Gemma are bland. This isn't a love story. Gemma didn't have anyone besides Mark. Mark was a douche about her infertility. Mark was exploiting Gemma's labor."

Do you not remember when Devon had to remind Mark that Gemma was her family too!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do you not remember the scene where Devon offered Gemma alcohol and the excitement and joy and affection that was in that brief interaction alone!!!!! Do you not remember how we were told in season one how seemingly healthy of a sibling/sibling-in-law relationship Mark, Gemma, Devon, and Ricken had where they would regularly go on hikes and have dinner together and were very involved and invested in each other's lives!!!!!!!!!!!

Do you not recall how Gemma was clearly going to a gathering of people, presumably friends, on her own, the night Lumon kidnapped her!!!!!!!!!!!

Mark was unable to grieve on the "Mark can't grieve" show!!! Are you so shocked????

Have you never experienced grief in a way that impacts your romantic relationship???? I have. Not regarding fertility, but grief operates in similar ways regardless of the source and Mark and Gemma's clear conflict of "I want to avoid the grief, if this is making you unhappy let's just stop!" and "I want to put these emotions on the table can we please just talk about it!" is sooooooooo exceedingly common and real. I saw bits of my own experiences and the experiences I've seen in others I know in real life in them both.

Sometimes it's not exploitation. Sometimes it's just people with conflicting emotional states that begin to create tears in the seams of a relationship in spite of the ways those people clearly care for each other and want a relationship together.

That's literally the uncomfortable situation, the distressing situation, that Lumon is trying to remove from people's lives. The pain, the miscommunication, the grief. We're being shown that life is hard, and messy, and uncomfortable, and sad, and how Lumon thinks they can simultaneously create life and strip life of those things.

The whole point!!!!!!! is that they still love each other despite the grief!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That they are willing to fight through the literal hell of the testing and severed floors and reintegration to get back to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[thottieonline]

PENN’S HOTTEST VIRGIN

LUIGI MANGIONE X VIRGIN! FEM READER

IN WHICH — Reader goes to her first Frat Party at Phi Kappa Psi, partying with Frat President Luigi Mangione.

WARNINGS — SMUT!! Porn with a Plot! Minors DNI!

CONTAINS — Loss of Virginity (Duh), Religious themes, PinV! Oral (Fem! Receiving), Praise! Blasphemy — we knew it was coming. Reader wears glasses (a bit self indulgent, lol)

NOTES — So. Much. Dirty. Talk. Luigi’s a little rough but we love it! Like this is just straight PORN I’m so sorry!! Anyways, this is my first smut on Tumblr, so excited to be here!

To Y/N, it seemed that it was a social norm to have had sexual experiences or have been in a relationship, especially by your second year in one of the biggest party schools in the country — So how was it possible someone as beautiful as Y/N could remain untouched?

She knew her male peers gawked at her and shamelessly spoke about her whenever she walked by, often hearing the things they wanted to do to her in passing, ultimately sending shivers down her spine.

She was innocent, not stupid.

Considering she came from a family devoted to their Catholic faith, they had tried their best to shield her from a life of “sin.” However, as she grew older, she started to question her religion.

Would I really go to hell for doing this? If I wasn’t meant to be doing this, why does it feel so good?

Those questions eventually lead her to make more impulsive decisions. After all, you’re only twenty in one of the biggest party schools once.

Ask for forgiveness, not permission — The voice of her roommate Blair spoke into her head. Blair being her voice of unreason, she encouraged her to be more wild, thus leading to them getting ready for a frat party at one a.m on a Tuesday.

“B, you still haven’t told me what frat we’re going to.” Y/N yelled over Blair’s loud music, Blair only sparing a glance at her and refocused on her hair. “We’re going to Kappa.”

Phi Kappa Psi was one of UPenn’s biggest frat houses, gaining a reputation for throwing the wildest parties on campus, competing with other frat houses on who could garner the most attention, in-campus and off-campus.

Other Fraternities pale in comparison to Phi Kappa as they miss one important element — Luigi Mangione.

Luigi Mangione managed to make a name for himself as a fourth year student, making a lasting impression on his fellow peers and professors. Being exceptionally gifted in Computer Science, Robotics, and Charisma — Mangione had the respect of everyone around him in the palm of his hand.

Mangione being five-foot-eleven, athletic and intelligent with unruly curly hair and a smile to die for — It was simple, really. Every man wanted to be him, while every girl prayed for the opportunity to be the next one he took to bed.

She was no exception — though she never voiced her desires out loud. Y/N often imagined his lips trailing down her neck, his lips creating a suction on her sensitive skin, sucking on her vanilla lotioned skin to the point of bruising.

God only knew how much she wanted to be marked up by him. Her virgin mind constantly thought about sex, but she couldn’t think about anyone else but him. No one else had her attention like he did and that was exactly how she liked it.

She only thought about Luigi fucking her to the point where she cried, her pussy being used and overfilled with his cum. She’d imagine him continuing to fuck her after she lost count of how many times she came, the glasses she normally wore on her face were nowhere to be found.

Y/N imagined Luigi calling her his perfect slut, praising her ability to take all of him like a champ.

“God it’s like this pussy was made for me. Tell me, how good do I fuck you, baby?”

“Such a good fucking slut for me, N/N.”

“You’re so fucking pretty, baby. Let me see you.”

Just the thought of him made her thighs clench together. Luigi was the only one she would ever let fuck raw. She needed to feel all of him, every inch and every vein of his Italian cock. She wanted Luigi to ruin her for other men, fucking her so good to the point all she can remember is his name.

It’d be even better for her to wake up to such a deliciously painful reminder of him when she’s hardly able to walk the next morning.

“Okay, I’m done.” Blair spoke, quickly snapping Y/N back to reality. She looked at her roommate, seeing she had finished getting ready for the night.

Since it was a frat party, Y/N and Blair were dressed in simple yet sexy outfits— Y/N opting for a black tank top, pairing them with denim shorts that were tight on her ass and her beat up sneakers.

She’d done her hair hours ago, opting to go straight, putting her trust onto the anti-humidity products she put in her hair to last all night.

“Bitch you look so good.” She smiled, Blair giving her a full 360 of her outfit. “Thank you, baby.” Blair smiled at her compliment.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re trying to get fucked tonight, looking all sexy.” Blair teased, making Y/N roll her eyes, fighting back a smile.

“So what if I am?” She challenged, half-jokingly.

Blair squealed, “She’s finally coming out of her shell! Took almost two years but we’re here.” She quickly wrapped her arms around Y/N. “C’mon, let’s get you fucked up tonight!”

Before she knew it, Y/N had stepped foot onto Kappa grounds, already trashed with red solo cups and a couple of passed out partygoers on the front yard — It looked like a scene straight out of Project X.

Careful to not step on those passed out on the grass, Y/N and Blair made it to the front door, pathetically guarded by one of the seemingly drunk pledges. “Damn, looking good mamis.”

The two giggled at the slurred voice of the young man, “You two on the list?” He asked. Before Y/N could open her mouth, Blair already began talking to him.

“Not really, but I think you can make an exception for tonight?” Blair flirted, placing her manicured hand on his bicep, giving the young man false hope of something happening later on.

“Fuck,” He uttered under his breath. “Yeah, you two can come in. Enjoy, ladies.” He stepped out of the way, letting Y/N and Blair come through.

“You gotta teach me how to do that.” Y/N chuckled. “It was like you didn’t have to try at all.”

“Y/N, please, you can totally do that. You just overthink things too much. You didn’t see how he was looking at you at the door?” Blair chuckled. “Now, let’s get you some liquid courage — God knows how much you need it.”

With that, Blair took Y/N’s hand and led her to the dining room, where the infamous Kappa jungle juice was placed. Blair poured herself and Y/N a full cup — the combination of the sweet cranberry juice and the unforgiving strong scent of liquor nearly sent her to a drunken state.

Out of habit, she did a silent prayer before she downed her drink.

“Fuck, that’s strong.” She groaned to herself, the bitter taste of the liquor lingering on her tongue. Y/N pushed herself to drink more — It wouldn’t be a complete first frat party experience without getting shitfaced drunk.

Blair giggled at the sight, “I’ll be right back, N/N. Stay here, ‘Kay?”

“Mhm.” Y/N hummed, acknowledging her. She continued to drink, silently praying once more to get her through the unforgiving taste of the drink in her cup.

God, if you let me get through this, I promise you—

“Yeah, I’d say the prayer is totally necessary.” A deep voice spoke close to her, interrupting her moment with the man upstairs. Y/N turned her head to the side out of curiosity and there he stood less than a foot away — Luigi fucking Mangione smirking at her.

“Say, were you also raised catholic or was that for dramatics?” He teased, making her blush as she looked down at her feet before looking up at him again.

“Definitely both.” Y/N laughed, her free hand playing with her gold cross necklace that laid nicely on her chest.

Luigi’s gaze flickering from her eyes onto her necklace. He admired how the gold cross complimented her glistened skin. The last piece of Y/N’s devotion to God contrasting with the less-than-holy outfit she had on drove him insane.

“I’m Y/N, by the way.” She spoke, the liquor giving her the courage to introduce herself — something she could’ve never imagined doing stone cold sober. The sound of her voice made him flicker his gaze from her chest onto her eyes, decorated with her signature frames.

He smirked to himself before telling her — “I know who you are, pretty. I’m just surprised to see you here, that’s all.” With that, he wrapped his arm around her shoulder, pulling her body closer to his, her heart racing faster with just a simple touch.

“You do?” She questioned.

Mangione was two years above her and to the best of her knowledge, they didn’t have any classes together. It was a really big school, after all.

“You don’t know?” He asks, taking in how her eyes glimmered with curiosity as she shook her head. “You’ve seriously never seen the Penn Crush page on Facebook?”

“You know, I don’t really use Facebook like that — So, I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or not.” She smiles, watching him pull out his phone to look up the infamous Penn Crushes page on his screen.

A few seconds pass by and there she was — Y/N L/N all in her glory. She scrolled through his screen, seeing the countless pictures taken of random students that deemed was submitted to the page — yet a lot of those pictures were of her.

There was one picture of her taken from afar where she sat on a random bench, presumably waiting for her next class, and there was another one that she recalled Blair taking a picture and uploaded on her Instagram story. It must’ve been screenshot and submitted as she saw the amount of likes on the post.

She continued to scroll until she saw one post where the caption immediately grabbed her attention —

Penn’s Hottest Virgin, Y/N L/N in a throwback post with the Penn Catholic Service Association. It’s great knowing she’s kept her promise! #virginityrocks

“Oh My God.” Y/N laughs at the post. She recalled joining PCSA when she first came to the school to have an outlet where she could be with others like herself.

She’d thought it’d be a good way to stay connected to her religion while forming new friendships, becoming a dedicated member of the association and getting involved with her community.

Y/N recalled the event from the post as she had to prepare a speech on why it was important to her to keep her promise to God to maintain her purity. At the time, she didn’t mind that people knew if she was a virgin — It was the whole point of the speech!

However, as time passed on and she had since left the association, it was definitely something that she wouldn’t have shared now, nearly two years later.

She read through the comments, barely processing the countless amounts of praise she received unbeknownst to her. “I didn’t think I was on anyone’s radar,” She joked, “Especially as the hottest virgin.”

“Yeah, you’re definitely a fan favorite.” He told her, not before he pulled her impossibly closer. “Have you kept your promise?” He teased, seeing the almost immediate effect he had on her.

She didn’t know if it was the combination of the crowded room they were in with the liquor or the fact that Mangione’s lips were on her ear, asking a question that sounded so innocent, yet so filthy.

The heat rising in her body was getting too much. Y/N felt his hazel eyes following her every move, from the way she subtly pushes up her glasses to the way she clenches her thighs together to relieve the ache in between her legs.

“Yes, sir.” She smiled at him, “But, I think I wanna break it.”

“You do?” He cooed, tucking her hair behind her ear. Luigi knew she wanted him as bad as he did, but he needed those words to come out of her mouth.

She bit her lip, holding back her words for the last time. “I want you to take my virginity.”

With that, he put down his cup on the remaining space on the counter, taking her hand in his and leading her up to his room.

The hallways were completely closed off. It was quiet, a complete one-eighty of the chaos that ensued everywhere else. Luigi unlocked his room, holding the door open for her as she entered what she would describe as the closest thing to heaven.

Y/N turned around to see him close the door and without hesitation, he pulled her by her waist and placed his soft, plump lips onto hers, starting her off slow and sensual — It was the perfect first kiss, she thought, but she knew the slow pace wasn’t going to be enough.

She wanted him so fucking bad, wanting to prove to him that she could take it like the good fucking girl she is. She’d been waiting for him all this time and she couldn’t let it go to waste. Y/N pulled him impossibly closer to her as she began to channel her insatiable desire for him, Mangione following suit.

His hands trailed from her waist and latched onto her hips, fueled by desire as he backed her onto his mattress, their bodies creating a soft thud on the bed. Never breaking the kiss, Luigi ground himself onto her denim shorts, making her moan into the kiss.

“Fuck, that feels so good.” She whimpered, breaking away from their kiss. He was orally fixated on her, his lips continuing their delicious assault on her sensitive skin.

“Gonna mark you up real nice, baby.” He uttered, eliciting a moan from her in response. “You like that, hm? You wanna be marked up by me?”

“So fucking bad.” He smirked at her confession, placing his lips back onto her neck and trailed down to her belly button. His strong hands roughly pulled down her denim shorts, Y/N’s body clad with her tank top and her soaked white thong.

The cool air in his bedroom didn’t help relieve the ache in between her thighs, needing him more than ever. “Bow on your panties? How cute.” He teased, pushing her panties to the side as he licked a bold stripe on her slit.

Her hips jolted at the newfound sensation, Mangione smiling at her reaction. His hands gripped onto her hips as he continued to use his tongue on her relentlessly, needing her to get himself drunk. Luigi couldn’t help himself but gather every last drop of her juices on his tongue, tasting her virginal pussy.

A string of sounds escaped her mouth as his tongue continued to work through her folds, circling his tongue around her clit before sucking on it. Her knees buckled at the suction of his lips.

“Fuck, L-Luigi.” She whimpered.

It was all happening so fast, her mind in a haze as Luigi held her up, throwing one of her legs over his shoulder as he continued to give his all, devouring her as if she was his last meal.

He had love for the game, so determined to make her first time worth it — wanting her to scream his name loud enough so everyone could know he was the first one to fuck Penn’s Hottest Virgin.

“Say it louder, baby. Need everyone to hear you.” He heaved, replacing his mouth with his long, skilled fingers.

She cried in pleasure as his two fingers stretched her out like no other, his digits pressing right up against that spot deep inside her that she could never reach on her own. Her glasses had slipped off her face, laid somewhere on his mattress.

It would’ve frustrated her to not be able to see, but with how good he’d been giving it to her, her eyes had stayed shut, the poor girl only being able to keep them open for only a few seconds until the next wave of pleasure.

“Put them back on for me, baby — Please.” He pleaded, loving how her glasses decorated her face. That was her signature, she’d never been without her glasses since the first time he saw her.

She reached out for her glasses, feeling the hard plastic beside her, putting them back on her beautiful face.

“Did so fucking good baby, listening to me.” He praises her, taking out his fingers and putting his mouth back on her needy pussy.

Y/N was so fucking close, her legs shaking around him as he devours until there’s nothing left — Luigi drinking up all her juices as they spread from her pussy to her thighs and undoubtedly his bedsheets.

Mangione had taken everything from her at that moment — her body, mind and voice. It was all too much, her needy hands reached into his bed of curls, gripping onto them as she buried him impossibly deeper between her thighs.

“Oh fuck, oh fuck Lui, I’m gonna cum, I’m gonn-” She cried out, tears running down her face as his name rolled off her tongue, his name being said so many times as if it were a prayer.

It was so sinful, so sexy, and he loved it.

“Cum on it, baby.” He urged, his tongue desperate for another taste. Luigi had been hooked from the first drop and had a craving for more. His tongue trailed from her hole onto the top of her folds, swallowing the remaining juices on her pussy.

“You taste so fucking good.” He praised, kissing her right inner thigh. Luigi could spend his entire life reliving this moment, worshipping her body.

Her body was in a near paralyzed state, the only signs of her liveliness was her chest rising and falling as she tried to catch her breath. Her glasses were now sitting at the tip of her nose, making her look so much sexier to him.

Luigi tried to fight back his infamous shit-eating smirk, but it was no use. He smiled proudly, showcasing the infamous fangs that everyone had been obsessed with, Y/N included.

Seeing those fangs reignited the fire in her body, needing to feel him again. Y/N lifted herself up and got on her fours, crawling to the edge of the bed where he remained kneeled.

There was nothing else on her mind but him. She wanted him to ruin her so fucking badly and so did he. His hazel eyes were clouded with lust as were hers. His dick was uncomfortably strained against his shorts, begging to be inside her virgin pussy.

Mangione leaned closer, his hands gently grab on to her face as he brings her closer to his face, closing the gap between them.

He held her face as their lips moved in sync, much hungrier than before, Y/N tasting the combination of the sweet jungle juice and herself on his tongue. Her hands trailed down his toned body, feeling his hard cock on the palm of her hand.

“Not sure if all of that is gonna fit inside me, Lui.” She joked, as she pulled away from the kiss, gently squeezing his bulge. It felt so fucking good under her hand, the feeling of how hard he was for her made her so much wetter.

“We’ll make it fit. I’ll make sure you’ll take all of it.” He promised, sealing it with a kiss. He pulled down his shorts, revealing how big he was — His tip glossed with precum. 

“I’ve wanted you for so long, N/N — wanted you in my bed since I first saw you.” He confesses, guiding his dick between her folds. His tip rested right at her pussy, inching in slowly as she winced in pain.

“Want me to stop, baby?” He coos, caressing her soft thigh.

She shook her head, “I-I can take it, Lui—S-Swear.”

Satisfied, he pushes himself in her even more. “God, you feel so fucking good — wanna fuck you so hard, but we gotta wait, right?” He teased.

“Fuck me, Lui.” She pleaded, pulling his face down so she could whisper into his ear, the hard plastic pressed against the shell of his ear — “I want you to fuck me until I can't walk straight."

With that, he pushed himself all the way inside, his dick harder than ever before. The burning sensation intensified, a small shriek erupting from her throat. “F-Fuck.” Y/N gasped.

The initial pain soon subsided as he continued to thrust, his hips connecting to hers — Luigi & Y/N becoming one. She cried with pleasure as Luigi’s pace intensified, making her tits’ jiggle out of the skimpy tank top, her eighteen karat gold chain smacking against her chest.

It felt so fucking wrong, yet so fucking right.

He wasn’t ever supposed to see her in that way — For fucks’ sake, he wasn’t even supposed to know who she was!

Mangione was her fantasy come to life. She loved the way he felt, his cock going in so deep inside her he could see an imprint of where he was. He couldn’t resist, taking her hand in his and placing it on her stomach.

“You feel that? I want you to remember it f-forever.” He groaned. Her cunt grasped him hard, holding him even tighter.

“Oh fuck! Y-You make me feel so fucking g-good, baby.” She whimpered.

“Yeah?” He mocked, grinding his hips deeper into hers, his pace slowing down a bit, making her feel every inch and vein of his. She clenched around him once more, Luigi groaning at the sudden tightness. He worked harder, hips snapping into hers as he picked up the pace once again.

Y/N loved how full he made her, the way he didn’t leave a single part of her body untouched.

“God, it’s like this pussy was made for me. Tell me, how good do I fuck you, baby?” He gripped on her hips, smiling at her fucked out expression.

“So,” It was all she could get out, her speech becoming more incoherent the closer she got. Y/N placed her manicured fingers on her clit rubbing her sensitive bud in circles, matching his pace.

Her body squirmed at the dual stimulation — It was all becoming too much. Y/N wanted this to last forever, never wanting to forget how his big dick felt inside her body, fucking her like the slut she knew she was.

“Luigi!” She screamed in pleasure, reaching her peak. Her walls pulsated around him like crazy, nearly sending Luigi into his climax. As much as he wanted to cum inside her, the thought of him cumming on her beautiful glasses sent him into overdrive.

God, he just loved her fucking glasses.

“Please baby, I just wanna cum on your glasses. Can I, baby?” He pleaded, pulling out of her. He took his needy cock in his strong hand, he inching closer to her frames.

He was so close, how could she deny him such a pleasure?

Y/N nodded, excitedly grabbing his dick from his hold and jerked him, aiming him closer to her frames. “Like this?” She asked sweetly as he shuddered around her touch.

His cum quickly shot out of him, landing on her glasses and coating her vision. “Just like that, sweetheart.” He assured her.

Luigi released himself from her touch, wanting to mark her up with his cum, aiming for below her stomach. He released a string of curses under his breath, chasing his much needed relief.

“Fuck, that was definitely the best sex I’ve ever had.” He breathed, feeling so fucked out as he laid next to Y/N’s body.

At that point, her hair had been messed up as the anti-humidity spray was no longer holding up as some texture had shown up, adding onto her “sexed out” look.

Even with her hair wild and free, she still managed to look so beautiful — Luigi couldn’t get enough.

She shook her head, playfully rolling her eyes at him. “Please, you’re just saying that.”

“I mean every word I say, Y/N. I’ve thought about you so much, it drove me insane — Do you know how hard it is to run a fraternity when there’s only one thing on your mind?” He ranted, now getting up from his spot on the bed.

She shook her head, knowing he couldn’t see her from his private bathroom. She was amused with the Italian. “Didn’t know it was so hard on you, Mr. President.”

“Very hard, actually.” He stated, returning with a damp cloth and wiping her body down. “Especially when she was known as the hottest virgin.” He joked, making her laugh.

Once she’s all wiped down, Luigi then uses his own personal glasses cleaning kit from his bedside drawer, spraying the liquid onto the stained glass, cleaning her frames with such care.

“You’re too much, Luigi.” She smiled, adoring the man beside her. “So detailed, too.”

“I’ll prove it everyday if I have to, Bellisima.” He professes, placing her frames back on her face with such care. “I’m not letting you go after everything you said to me.” Luigi pulls her in for another kiss, reassuring her he was there to stay.