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cosmiclily · 5 months ago

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when she sees me

★ vi x f!reader

wc: 5.4k

cw: reader goes on a date with one (1) guy for exactly 27 minutes; pure tooth roting fluff.

notes: this was @entraptasimp request but tumblr was being a bitch and i lost the ask 😭. this got my brain juices working, it started off with nothing to do with what you requested but i worked my way through it, i had so much fun writing it, hope you like it !!

I was born a fundamentally anxious person. I like things a certain way—I’ve never liked guessing games or the feeling of not knowing how things would unfold. That’s why I’ve never been a fan of dating apps, meet-cutes, or anything that required me to dive into the unknown. Even my reading choices reflected that. I always gravitated toward romances where the main characters were destined to be together, the kind where they had known each other forever and love was inevitable.

So when it came to my own life, I was completely lost. Imagine spending almost 21 years never having a boyfriend, a girlfriend, or anything remotely romantic. It wasn’t like I hadn’t tried—I’d had experiences, but they were all terrible. The kind of stuff you look back on and cringe so hard you want to erase the memory altogether.

"Can you believe I’ll be 21 soon, and I’ve never dated anyone?" I groaned, tossing a handful of popcorn into my mouth. Vi, my best friend, was sprawled next to me on my bed, equally engrossed in our snacks but pretending to care about whatever show was playing in the background. "Even you had girlfriends. What is wrong with me?"

Vi turned to me with a dramatic gasp, her mouth still half-full of popcorn. "What do you mean, even me? I’m a greatcatch! Good looking, great muscles, and super smart. You can’t beat that."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, super humble too, I see."

She smirked, flexing her arm like she was some kind of bodybuilder. "Exactly. You’re just jealous."

I sighed, staring at the ceiling. "No, I’m just… I don’t know. It feels like I missed some crucial lesson everyone else got. Like, how do people just meet someone and start dating them? How does it happen so easily for everyone else?"

Vi was quiet for a moment before she nudged me with her foot. "It’s not easy for everyone. And maybe it’s not supposed to be easy for you. Maybe you’re just waiting for the right kind of difficult."

I frowned. “What does that even mean?”

Vi shrugged. “I don’t know, it just sounded poetic. But seriously, maybe you just haven’t met the right person yet. Or maybe you’re meant for a slow-burn romance—like the ones in those books you love so much.”

I groaned, rolling onto my side. “But I’m tired, Vi,” I whined. “I hate relying on fate, or destiny, or whatever. I need to do something!”

She stared at me for a moment, her eyes narrowing like she was deep in thought. I could practically see the gears turning in her head, and that was never a good sign.

“Okay, hmm.” She tapped her fingers against her chin. “I know you don’t like dating apps, and you hate talking to strangers, but unless you want to date me, or Mel, or—I don’t know—Jayce…”

I made a face so disgusted she burst out laughing.

“Right, so unless you want to date your friends,” she continued, still grinning, “you’re going to have to get to know someone new.”

I groaned dramatically, burying my face in my pillow. “But I don’t like meeting people.”

Vi let out an exaggerated sigh. “God, you’re insufferable.” She poked my shoulder until I looked at her again. “Again! Unless you’re planning to date your friends, you have to meet new people. So! My idea is… I choose your suitors based on what I think you’d like. You go on a date with them, and if you don’t like them, we move on to someone else. We keep going until we find you a partner.”

I stared at her. “You make it sound like a game show.”

She grinned. “Oh, it absolutely is a game show now.”

──────────────────────

“So, to start off—download every dating app you can find. We’re setting up your profile and swiping away!” Vi announced, a sinister grin on her face and a bag of chips perched on her lap. It was honestly kind of terrifying.

I hesitated, staring at her like she had just suggested I walk barefoot across hot coals. “Okay, I just don’t see how forcing me to do something I hate is the solution here.” Still, I begrudgingly opened the app store and started scrolling through the endless sea of dating apps.

“Exposure therapy, Y/N!” Vi declared, stuffing a handful of chips into her mouth. “Besides, I’ve known you my whole life. If I don’t make you do this, you’re going to end up single well into your sixties, whining in my ears about your wasted youth and how you never got the love story you deserved.” She pitched her voice higher, dramatically placing a hand on her chest. “‘Oh, Vi, why didn’t you force me to date when I had the chance?’”

I narrowed my eyes at her. “Hey! I don’t sound like that.”

Vi snorted. “You absolutely do.”

I sighed, already regretting this. “Fine. But if this turns into a disaster, you owe me—big time.”

She grinned. “Oh, don’t worry. This is going to be legendary.”

As soon as the apps finished downloading, Vi snatched my phone right out of my hands. “Nope! You are not sabotaging your own chances at finding love,” she declared, her eyes gleaming with determination.

I sighed, letting her take control because, honestly, fighting her on this would be pointless. Vi had always been like this—stubborn, overenthusiastic, and convinced she knew what was best for me. And, to be fair, she usually did.

Vi had been my best friend since birth. Literally. Our moms had been best friends in college and ended up pregnant around the same time, so we grew up side by side. Sure, she could be very annoying at times, but she was also the person I trusted most in the world. We had been through every high and low together, and despite her occasional chaos, I knew she always had my back.

“There! Your profile is complete,” Vi announced, handing me my phone with a triumphant smile. “Now, we can start hunting for our prey.”

I wrinkled my nose. “I really don’t like that you’re calling them ‘prey.’”

She shrugged, completely unbothered. “What? It’s the circle of life, Y/N. We swipe, we match, we conquer.”

“This is exactly why I didn’t want to do this.”

Vi ignored me, already swiping through potential matches like she was picking out groceries. “Ooooh, this one’s cute. She looks like she reads books and goes to the gym. A rare breed.”

I groaned. This was going to be a nightmare.

──────────────────────

During the weekend that Vi stayed over at my house, we matched with a handful of people—well, she matched with them while I mostly watched in horror. By Sunday night, she had already set up a few dates for me. The first one was with a girl named Ashley. She had dark green hair, loved musicals, and was apparently obsessed with Lana Del Rey.

“You’re coming with me, right?” I asked the second Vi dropped the news.

She blinked at me, unimpressed. “How exactly do you expect me to do that?”

“I don’t know! Put on a fake mustache, wear sunglasses, sit at a different table—something!” I waved my hands dramatically. “What if the date is a disaster? What if she’s weird, or hates me, or—what if I need to escape?!”

Vi sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose like she was already regretting signing up for this. “Y/N, you’re a grown adult. You can sit through one date without me holding your hand.”

“You say that, but you’re also the one who forced me into this,” I pointed out.

“Okay, fair.” She crossed her arms, thinking for a moment. “How about this—I’ll sit nearby but not like, right there. If you need an out, text me a code word, and I’ll call you with a fake emergency.”

I narrowed my eyes. “What’s the code word?”

Vi smirked. “Summertime sadness.”

I groaned. “You’re the worst.”

She grinned, tossing a pillow at me. “And yet, you’d be lost without me.”

The date was scheduled for Friday, and there I was, sitting at a window table in the local diner, nervously tapping my fingers against the menu. Vi sat three tables away, pretending to be interested in her milkshake but very obviously keeping an eye on me.

I had no idea what to expect. I barely knew anything about Ashley—we had exchanged a few texts, but nothing meaningful. She was essentially a stranger I was about to have dinner with, and the thought alone made my stomach twist.

Vi caught my eye and gave me an enthusiastic thumbs-up, trying to send some reassurance my way. It didn’t really help, but I appreciated the effort.

Then, I saw her. Or rather, I saw her hair first. Ashley’s dark green hair stood out even from a distance, but what really sealed the deal was the bright pink jacket she wore over an all-black outfit, complete with chunky black boots. She was hard to miss.

As she approached the table, she smiled wide. “Hii, you must be Y/N!” she greeted, sliding into the seat across from me with an excited energy.

I straightened up. “Yes! Nice to meet you!”

And honestly? It was nice to meet her—at least, at first. The conversation flowed smoothly. She asked about my life, I asked about hers, and everything seemed to be going well. That is… until she brought up her cat.

Lana.

Named, of course, after Lana Del Rey.

Which was cute at first—until Ashley did not stop talking about her.

Not joking, for thirty minutes straight, she went on about Lana’s favorite toys, her special diet, the way she sensed when Ashley was sad and comforted her like a “little furry angel.” Every time I thought she was done, she’d whip out her phone and scroll through an endless gallery of Lana’s pictures.

My face was cramping from forcing a smile. I snuck a glance at Vi, who was clearly enjoying my suffering way too much.

I subtly reached for my phone and typed a single text.

Summertime sadness.

That’s when Vi stood up, striding toward our table with intent. At first, I was confused—she looked… angry?

For a brief second, panic flared in my chest. Had I texted the wrong code word? Was something actually wrong?

Then, she stopped in front of us, dramatically placing a hand over her heart like she was in a soap opera.

“Oh my god, Y/N!” she gasped, sounding exasperated. “I cannot believe what my eyes are showing me! You—cheating on me! And in our favorite diner, of all places?!”

It took me a second, but then I caught on to the theatrics.

I shot up from my seat, clutching my chest as if I had just been caught in the act. “No, Vi, my love! This is not what it looks like!” I turned to Ashley, gesturing dramatically. “I don’t even know this girl! We were just making friendly conversation, you have to believe me!”

Ashley blinked between us, looking both confused and mildly alarmed. “…Wait, what?”

Vi let out a loud, exaggerated sob and turned away. “I trusted you! And this is how you repay me?”

I reached for her hand, playing along. “Baby, please! Let me explain!”

Ashley slowly leaned back in her chair, gripping her drink. “Uh. I—should I leave, or…?”

Vi sniffled, dabbing at her dry eyes like she was wiping away imaginary tears. “No, no. I’ll leave. I just can’t bear to look at you right now, Y/N. I hope you and your little fling are very happy together.” She turned on her heel, storming out with all the grace of a drama queen.

I turned back to Ashley with an apologetic smile. “I should… probably go after her.”

Ashley just nodded, still looking completely lost. “Uh. Yeah. You should… go do that.”

I grabbed my jacket, muttering a quick, “It was nice meeting you,” before practically running out of the diner after Vi.

The second we were outside, we both burst into laughter.

“Oh my god, that was so unhinged,” Vi wheezed, wiping at her eyes.

I groaned, shaking my head. “I cannot believe you just did that.”

She shrugged. “Hey, it worked, didn’t it?”

I sighed, but I couldn’t help but laugh again. “Yeah, yeah. Thanks for saving me.”

Vi smirked. “Anytime, cheater.”

──────────────────────

And I would love to say the other dates went even remotely better—but I’d be lying.

The second date was with a guy named Chad—which, honestly, should’ve been the first red flag. He was a full-on gym bro, the kind who talked about nothing but his gains and his macros. He was so obsessed with hitting his daily protein intake that he actually pulled out a shaker bottle mid-conversation and started chugging a protein shake like we were at a post-workout hangout instead of a date.

I lasted exactly 27 minutes before sending Vi our secret code word: creatine.

Within seconds, my phone rang, and Vi’s panicked voice echoed through the speaker. “Oh my god, Y/N! Grandma’s been in a car accident—the car’s on fire! You need to leave IMMEDIATELY!”

I slapped my hand over my mouth, trying to look convincingly horrified. “Oh no! Not grandma! I—I’m so sorry, Chad, I have to go!”

He barely looked up from flexing his bicep in the reflection of his water glass. “Yeah, cool, family first or whatever. Just don’t forget to hit the gym tomorrow—you’ll feel better.”

I practically sprinted out of there.

The third date? Even worse.

This girl—her name was Marissa—decided to bring her lizard to our date. Yes. A lizard. She texted me to meet her at the park, and I figured, “Oh, cool, a casual outdoor date.” But the second I spotted her on the bench with a giant reptiledraped over her shoulder like it was an accessory, I just… stopped in my tracks.

I didn’t even bother texting Vi. I turned right back around and walked away like I’d never seen that park in my life.

Later, as Vi drove us away from the disaster zone, I was still fuming.

“She brought her lizard, Vi! Her LIZARD!” I complained, slumping in the passenger seat like the sheer memory drained me.

Vi snorted, barely holding back her laughter. “You wouldn’t be having this reaction if it was a dog. Just saying.”

“Because dogs are normal! Lizards are not a third-wheel you bring on a date!”

She grinned, giving me a playful nudge. “Maybe the lizard was her emotional support animal.”

I groaned, covering my face with my hands. “I’m never doing this again.”

Vi just laughed. “Oh, yes you are. We’ve only just begun.”

The fourth date was… surprisingly normal.

Her name was Ellie, and she was hot as fuck. Like, the moment she walked in, I felt my soul leave my body. She had this effortless, cool-girl vibe—tattoos peeking out from under the sleeves of her denim jacket, a lazy smile that could probably stop traffic, and this way of looking at you like she was reading your mind.

And the best part? She was actually fun to talk to. She played guitar, had this dry, witty sense of humor, and we clicked in that easy, natural way I didn’t even know was possible. For the first time since Vi threw me into this dating nightmare, I thought, Hey, maybe this isn’t so bad after all.

But, of course, the universe wasn’t about to let me have that.

As the date was winding down, Ellie gave me this soft, apologetic look. I knew something was coming, but I wasn’t prepared for that.

“Hey, so…” she started, fiddling with the ring on her finger. “You’re a really nice girl, like, seriously. But I’m not, uh… I’m not over my ex. And talking to you tonight made me realize how much I miss her. I hope you find what you’re looking for, though. Truly.”

She was so sweet about letting me down, which almost made it worse. Like, why did the only nice, amazing, tattooed goddess have to be the one who didn’t want anything to do with me?

By the time I got home, I was ready to burn Vi’s whole dating plan to the ground. I flopped onto my bed and immediately called her.

“This isn’t working, Vi. Seriously,” I groaned the moment she answered. “Where are you even finding these people? I just had one of the best dates of my life, and suddenly she’s not over her ex?”

Vi snorted on the other end. “Oof. That’s rough.”

“I’m not joking!” I whined, dramatically kicking my feet like I was five. “This is your fault. You roped me into this mess, and now I’m emotionally attached to a girl who doesn’t even want me!”

Vi burst into laughter. “Wow, you’re really going through all five stages of grief, huh?”

“I’m stuck at betrayal, thanks.”

“Oh, come on, Y/N. It’s just one date. You’ll bounce back.”

“I don’t want to bounce back, Vi. I want Ellie,” I grumbled, burying my face in my pillow.

There was a pause, then Vi said, “Well… maybe the next date will be even better.”

I groaned louder. “You’re insufferable.”

“And yet, here you are, still letting me pick your dates.”

Unfortunately, she wasn’t wrong.

──────────────────────

After all the disasters I’d been through, I was done with dating. Completely over it. No more awkward small talk, no more weird code words, and definitely no more dates with people who brought lizards as emotional support. Vi, however, refused to let it go. She’d still ramble on about people she’d matched with, her excitement bubbling over like I wasn’t emotionally scarred from the last lineup of dating catastrophes. I didn’t want to hear about it anymore—I knew this wasn’t going to work.

“Okay,” Vi started one afternoon, plopping dramatically onto my bed like she was about to deliver some life-altering news. “I know you’re fed up with the dating apps. And with me.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Especially with you.”

She ignored me. “But there’s one more person I’d like you to give a chance to.”

I groaned, flopping back onto the bed with the same energy as a dying Victorian woman. “Vi—”

She cut me off with a look. That hopeful, annoyingly earnest look that always managed to crack through my walls, no matter how stubborn I was. Despite being mad at her—or at least pretending to be—I could never actually say no to her. It was like some unspoken rule of our friendship.

“Ugh, fine!” I threw my hands up, as if surrendering to the universe itself. “But this is the last time.” I sat up, pointing a finger at her like I was laying down the law. “I’m serious, Vi. After this, I’m done. If anyone wants to date me, they’ll have to show up at my door, kidnap me, and force me into a relationship.”

She burst out laughing, but there was something off about it—like it was a little too forced, a little too high-pitched. Her usual chaotic confidence was still there, but underneath it, I noticed a flicker of something…nervous?

“Yeah, well…” She cleared her throat, rubbing the back of her neck. “About that. There’s just one small catch.”

I squinted at her, already suspicious. “What kind of catch?”

She grinned, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “The date is a secret until you get there.”

I blinked. “A secret?”

“Yup.” She popped the ‘p’ with exaggerated cheer. “No name, no details—just show up and let the magic happen.”

I stared at her like she’d grown a second head. “Vi. Do you hear yourself? This sounds like the start of a true crimedocumentary.”

She waved me off. “Oh, please. If anyone tried to kidnap you, you’d be the one they regretted it instantly.”

Fair point.

Still, something about her expression stuck with me—this weird mix of excitement and nerves. But, like the fool I was, I agreed. Again.

──────────────────────

On the day of my mystery date, I spent an embarrassing amount of time trying to figure out what to wear. Which was ridiculous because, technically, I didn’t even know who I was meeting. But somehow, the not-knowing made it worse. Was I supposed to go casual? Dressy? Prepare for another lizard-wrangling situation?

When I finally arrived at the little café Vi had texted me the address to, my stomach was doing Olympic-level flips. I scanned the room, half-expecting to see another “Chad” flexing in a corner or someone waiting with their tarantula perched on the table.

But there was no Chad. No lizard. No tarantula.

Just Vi.

Sitting at a small table by the window, nervously fiddling with her rings, her usual cocky grin nowhere in sight. She looked up, and when our eyes met, she gave me this small, almost shy smile.

I froze.

“This…is a joke, right?” I blurted, laughing nervously as I approached her table.

She stood up, shoving her hands in the pockets of her red jacket—the same one she always wore, but somehow it felt… different now.

“No joke,” she said quietly, her voice lacking its usual smugness. “I’m the date.”

I blinked. “You’re the date.”

She nodded, her lips twitching like she couldn’t decide whether to smile or run. “Yeah. Surprise?��

I didn’t know what to say. My brain short-circuited, replaying every moment we’d shared—the teasing, the late-night calls, the way my heart always felt lighter around her. How had I not seen it before?

“…Are you kidding me?” I finally managed, shaking my head with a breathless laugh. “You put me through all of that—Chad, the lizard girl, the Lana Del Rey monologue—just to end up here with you?”

She grinned, her confidence slipping back into place like muscle memory. “Well, technically, I needed you to realize everyone else sucks compared to me.”

I rolled my eyes, but my heart was racing for an entirely different reason now.

“You’re insufferable,” I muttered, sliding into the seat across from her.

Her grin softened into something more sincere. “Yeah, but… you’re still here.”

I didn’t have a comeback for that.

Because she was right.

I was still there.

We ordered our coffees—or rather, Vi ordered them. She didn’t even need to ask. She knew exactly what I wanted: an iced caramel latte and a chocolate muffin. It was such a small thing, but it hit me harder than I expected. She knew my order by heart, like it was second nature. And somehow, that simple gesture left me sitting there in awe, my heart doing this ridiculous flutter thing that I refused to acknowledge.

I watched her as she thanked the barista, her fingers tapping against the counter in that restless way she always did when she was nervous—or pretending not to be. When she finally sat back down across from me, her knee bumped against mine under the table. She didn’t move it.

The question slipped out before I could stop it, soft and almost hesitant.

“Since when?”

Vi tilted her head slightly, squinting like she wasn’t sure what I meant. “Since when what?” She scratched the side of her neck, her fingers brushing over the edge of her tattoo like it was a nervous habit.

I swallowed, my throat suddenly dry.

“Since when did you… want to go on a date with me?”

Her expression shifted. Just for a second. A flicker of something vulnerable slipped through the cracks of her usual confidence. But then she let out a short, breathy laugh, shaking her head like she couldn’t believe I’d even asked.

“Being one hundred percent honest?” she said, leaning back in her chair, her arms crossed like she needed a shield. “Since I became conscious about anything in my life.”

I blinked. “What?”

She laughed again, a little softer this time. “I mean it. You’ve always been there, you know? But you were so busy with your face buried in those books, rambling about epic love stories and grand, sweeping gestures. And there I was, just… me.” She cleared her throat as the waitress brought our order, the clink of ceramic cups filling the brief silence.

She picked up her coffee, but didn’t take a sip. Instead, she stared at it like it held the answers she was too afraid to say out loud. “I guess I got a little self-conscious. Like, how was I supposed to compete with all those ‘great loves’ you read about? And you never really seemed to care much about dating, so I figured… if I said something, you’d just let me down.”

Her words hit me like a freight train—because how had I not seen it? How had I been so blind?

“I… I don’t know what to say,” I admitted, my voice quieter than I intended. I stared at her, really looked at her, like I was seeing her for the first time. “I never thought that what I was looking for was quite literally right in front of me.”

Vi didn’t respond immediately. She just smiled—small, a little shy, but undeniably real. The kind of smile that makes your chest ache in the best way.

And that’s when it hit me.

I’d spent my whole life waiting for a cliché love story.

The kind with grand declarations, epic twists, and movie-worthy moments.

But what could be more cliché than this?

A slow burn, friends-to-lovers situation, sitting right across from me with a smug grin and a coffee order she knew by heart.

Maybe the love story I’d been searching for wasn’t in the books after all.

Maybe it was in the girl who’d been there all along.

I reached for my latte, mostly just to have something to do with my hands because my heart was practically sprinting. The ice clinked against the sides of the cup, loud in the quiet between us. Vi was still watching me, her gaze steady, like she wasn’t afraid of what I’d say next. Like she already knew.

But I didn’t know. I didn’t know how to string words together when everything inside me felt tangled—like someone had taken all the pages of my life, ripped them out, and shuffled them around until nothing made sense except her.

So I blurted the first thing that came to mind.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

Vi chuckled, shaking her head. “Because I’m an idiot?” She leaned forward, resting her arms on the table. “Or maybe I was just scared. Scared that if I said something, I’d lose you. And losing you… would’ve been worse than keeping it to myself.”

The honesty in her voice settled over me like a weighted blanket—comforting and overwhelming all at once. I thought about every late-night conversation, every casual touch that lingered just a second too long, every time she looked at me like I was her whole world, and I’d been too oblivious to notice.

Maybe I had noticed.

Maybe I was just too scared to admit it.

I glanced down at my muffin, untouched, then back at her. “You’re kind of dumb, you know that?”

She snorted. “Yeah, I’ve been told.”

I smiled, feeling it stretch wider than it had in a long time. “But so am I.”

The words weren’t grand or poetic. There was no sweeping background music, no dramatic lighting. Just the faint hum of the coffee shop, the cold of my drink between my hands, and Vi’s knee still pressed against mine like it belonged there.

And maybe that was enough.

No—it was enough.

I reached across the table, my fingers brushing over hers. She froze for a second, her breath hitching, then slowly turned her hand over so our palms touched. The warmth of her skin sent a quiet thrill through me, something soft and electric all at once.

“I think,” I whispered, “I’ve been on this date with you for years. I just didn’t know it.”

Vi’s smile was different this time—brighter, softer, filled with something that made my chest ache in the best way.

“Yeah,” she murmured. “Me too.”

──────────────────────

We finished eating between bursts of conversation and laughter, and somehow, everything had changed while staying exactly the same. The comfort was still there, woven into the fabric of who we were, but now it carried something electric beneath the surface. The glances were different—the way her eyes drifted to my mouth when I spoke, the way our intertwined hands never strayed, like we’d forgotten how to exist without that connection.

The walk back to my house felt surreal, our fingers laced tightly together, neither of us willing to let go. Every step felt heavier with anticipation, like the world had tilted slightly, and gravity was pulling us toward something inevitable.

And then, standing at my doorstep, she kissed me.

It wasn’t tentative or shy—it was certain, like she’d been waiting her whole life to do it and wasn’t going to waste another second. It felt like being woken up, like every nerve ending had been dormant until that exact moment. My heart raced, but everything else stilled, like the world had gone quiet just for us.

It was the kind of kiss that rewrites everything you thought you knew about love.

Pieces of a puzzle perfectly aligned.

Vi’s hands found my waist, pulling me closer, and she kissed me like her life depended on it—like I was the air she’d been searching for. My fingers threaded through her hair instinctively, and she let out a quiet sigh against my lips that sent shivers down my spine.

When we finally pulled apart, breathless and flushed, she rested her forehead against mine, her thumb brushing soft circles against my cheeks.

“I’ve wanted to do that for so long,” she whispered, her voice low and rough around the edges.

I smiled, my heart still racing, my hands still trembling slightly from the intensity of it all. “Then do it again.”

And she did.

Over and over, like she was making up for all the years we’d been too afraid to cross the line.

But we weren’t afraid anymore.

We stayed there for what felt like forever, just standing in front of my house, wrapped in the warmth of each other’s embrace. It was like time had paused, giving us this perfect moment where nothing else mattered but the two of us. The city sounds faded into the background, and all I could hear was the soft rhythm of her breath mingling with mine.

Eventually, she pulled back, just enough to look at me. Her eyes were full of something I couldn’t quite name, but it made my chest tighten in a way I didn’t want to let go of.

“Are you sure about this?” she asked, her voice softer now, like a fragile question hanging in the air.

I laughed, breathless, my fingers still tracing the edge of her jaw. “Are you kidding? I’ve been sure for longer than I care to admit.”

She smiled, a quiet, content smile that made me want to hold onto it forever. “Good,” she murmured, her lips brushing against mine again, this time slower, like she was savoring the moment, taking her time.

We didn’t need to rush anymore. Not tonight.

We stayed close as we stepped inside, neither of us wanting to break the connection, like if we did, everything we’d built might shatter. Her hand never left mine as we walked through the door, and when we finally reached the couch, we sat side by side, still tangled up in each other, unable to fully separate.

The night stretched out before us, full of possibilities, full of all the unspoken words between us that no longer needed to be said. Every moment felt like a revelation, like we were discovering each other all over again, but in the most intimate way possible.

Vi’s head rested on my shoulder, her breath even and steady now, and I realized, as I looked at the way she fit against me, that this was it. This was the start of something new, something I hadn’t known I was waiting for but had needed all along.

“We’re really doing this, aren’t we?” she whispered, her voice light with amusement but also a touch of something deeper.

I smiled, brushing a strand of hair away from her face. “Yeah, we are.”

And for the first time in a long time, I wasn’t scared of what was coming next. Because it wasn’t about the destination anymore—it was about the journey we were going to take together, step by step, kiss by kiss.

And I was ready for all of it.

──────────────────────

masterlist

#vi x reader #vi x y/n #vi x you #vi arcane #arcane #arcane x female reader #arcane x y/n #arcane x reader #arcane x you #lily writes #mootie ✰#requests

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kimingyuslover · 1 year ago

Text

Love you with all my heart.

Synopsis : Loveless marriage can be so easy yet so difficult. Which one is yours?

Word count : 3,228

pairing : Kwon Soonyoung x fem!reader

genre : contract marriage, arranged marriage!au, one-sided enemy, strangers to one-sided enemy to exes to lovers!au (it's so much), angst, fluff, slight suggestive at the end.

warnings : tears, italic means flashback, chaebol!soonyoung, chaebol!reader, ceo!soonyoung, neurosurgeon!reader, slight mingyu & wonwoo x reader (seperated), some curse word (i guess..), Soonyoung being a jerk, mention of alcohol consumption, this fic does not represent his character in real life!

★ ngl, i'm in tears while writing this, i wanna punch Soonyoung in the face. i recommend reading this fic with this playlist.

☆ check out my other works > main masterlist

“What do you think of this dress? isn't it beautiful?” Soo-jung says while showing one of the wedding dresses in her collection.

Soo-jung has been your best friend for as long as you can remember. You first met at your kindergarten and started talking from then with both of your parents also being friends.

You and her have different passions when you enter high school. She's been saying that when she grows up, she wants to be a designer, whereas you want to be a neurosurgeon.

“hello? y/n! Why are you always zoning out everytime we do this? Do you want to call off the marriage? is still early, i'll come along with you to your parents” concern is evident on her face, i mean, her best friend is in an arranged marriage, of course she will support her no matter what her decision.

To you, marriage is something so sacred and marriage can only be achieved by two people who love each other deeply, outwardly and inwardly.

you started to feel tears coming to both of your eyes, you look at Soo-jung with your now teary eyes, she immediately holds both of your shoulders.

you let out a few sobs before opening your mouth, “i don't think i can do this, we met earlier for brunch, he looks so mad Jung” you cried. you never be the one who complained when your parents decided something for you, but the words he threw at you at brunch made you realize that this marriage was a mistake to begin with.

Soo-jung nods at your words and brings you to her hug, she knows that your soon-to-be husband in contract is a jerk because she met him a few days prior in the gala that your family throws, and she also knew that every word that left his mouth will scratch your pure soul and heart.

Kwon Soonyoung is your fiancé, he's the son of one of the biggest real estate companies in South korea. you first met him while attending a gala for the CEOs of every big company.

Soonyoung is a quiet kid, everyone usually socializes with other nepo kids, but he's not, he's alone at the table with a glass of champagne in his hand.

You never really talk to him. only seeing him while you're with your parents, and you were not expecting that he's the one you're going to marry.

Soo-jung decided that today has been a bad day for you and you will discuss this again tomorrow.

“listen here, i do not want this marriage, i have tried to call off the wedding but my parents won't let me,” Soonyoung says after he sipped the coffee that he had ordered, he opens his mouth again, “so don't expect me to love you, give you attention when we're alone and with our family, we have to act when we’re on a party or gala, other than that don't try to get along with me”

Soonyoung throws a few hundred dollar bills to your table while you're lowering your head, this marriage is not on your bingo card this year, you feel humiliated with the eyes on the restaurant goes to you.

You know you should tell this to your parents, but their hopes are sending you into a debate inside your head. They really want this marriage to happen, so both companies can merge into one powerful duo.

[ఇ ◝‿◜ ఇ]

It's now your wedding day, a lot has happened before this wedding is settled, like when soonyoung always scoffs whenever you get near him because your parents and his want it.

You have discussed your marriage with Soo-jung, and you have decided that if he is a jerk to you, then he's gonna receive the same treatment.

The music starts to play, the door in front of you starts to open slowly, with your father by your side, and Soo-jung behind you to help you with the veil.

You can already see your mother and your in-laws waiting for you, the photographer and videographer waiting on the side of the aisle to catch one of the supposedly precious moments of your entire life.

and there's Soonyoung, with his stoic expression waiting for you to be with him on the aisle, sharing your vows for the loveless marriage you'll have.

After your father leaves you, Soonyoung starts to say his vows, he said it with such expression, a tear from your left eye begins to fall, it's not a happy one, but a sad one.

[ఇ ◝‿◜ ఇ]

“Uhh, doctor y/n? Maybe you need to check the trash bin in front of the operating room, because I think you lost your marriage ring” one of the nurse— Yoon Jeonghan, says to you.

you began to panic, searching everywhere of your body in hope to find your ring. your eyes widening after you realize that you can't find it, you start to run across the hall, going straight to the operating room.

and lucky for you, you immediately found it. It's in the pocket of your operating gown. when you start to check your ring for any blood splatter on it, you remind yourself, the day when you bought this ring with Soonyoung.

“What do you think of this one? Do you like it?” You asked Soonyoung, except he doesn't even turn his head to you or the ring. He focuses on his phone.

Your tiny smile dropped. You think that maybe, just maybe, he can try to at least pick the ring with you. Well, god knows you're wrong.

in the end of the day, you have to video call Soo-jung to help you pick the right ring, because all Soonyoung said is, “i don't care, just pick one, i'll leave now, have a meeting”

which led to the employee giving you a sympathetic gaze and smile, and you reciprocated it by smiling sadly.

you feel your nostalgic time being cut when one of the neurosurgeons— doctor Jeon Wonwoo, starts to call your name.

and from then, you start to catch up a little bit more and more.

you got promoted as the professor a few months later, but you still feel empty. You've dreamed of this every single day of your life.

the hospital you're working at now, throwing a company dinner to congratulate you by eating in a korean bbq restaurant because apparently the CEO wants to make you try the restaurant for the first time.

the home you can't ever call it by its name welcoming you with cool air, Doctor Jeon kindly giving you a ride home.

you take off your shoes and start to walk to your bedroom, you pass Soonyoung's room in the process, and you freeze when you hear his sleepy mumbles.

he's calling someone, that you're sure, a name that belongs to a girl, and that's when you feel it, the aches of being rejected again, by Kwon Soonyoung himself.

you closed the door behind you, “i never be the one who makes you do things like that, am i? Am I that bad in your eyes?” You said to yourself, holding your tears back.

You tried, you really really tried to ignore the feelings you had (have) for the man in the different bedroom.

You think you can do it, but ignoring your long-time feelings seems to be more difficult than you think.

Yes, you admitted. Kwon Soonyoung and you have been into the same school, you realize that after the first meeting with him at the gala, and you got assigned together for a project, and that's when you started to develop feelings for him.

“Why can't I just forget him? Why do I have to pick up the broken pieces of my heart and let him break it all over again?” You let out a sobs full of tears, you sat before the bed, and that's when you made up your mind.

you're going to divorce him.

sooner or later, this marriage will consume you fully and make you depressed. The marriage is on their downfall.

So you packed your things in your designer suitcase, and started to call Soo-jung.

“hi, sorry for bothering you late at night. Can I come over to your house? And sleep for a few days there? i just made up my mind and i don't think i can be here anymore” hearing your sobs, Soo-jung accepted your request almost immediately, she knew what decision you have made because you've talked to her a few days before.

[ఇ ◝‿◜ ఇ]

Soonyoung is quite confused when he doesn't see you in the morning, because usually you're always making breakfast before going to work.

and that's happening for the next 2 weeks. he grows relentlessly, wants to know what's wrong that makes you go away from home for 2 weeks straight.

Not so long after he got lost in his thoughts, the house bell is ringing, and Soonyoung is thinking it may be you.

Oh boy, so wrong he was. It's your lawyer, standing so highly in front of him with his briefcase. Soonyoung frowned and furrowed his eyebrows, not expecting this visit.

they settle down on the sofa, and your lawyer start to take the divorce paper from his briefcase, “your wife told me she wants to have a divorce with you, this is the paper, you can sign it here” he says calmly, Soonyoung look at the man with puzzled expression evident on his face.

“My client asked me to do this for her. She can’t imagine if she has face to face with you” he continues, and gives his pen to Soonyoung.

There is it, the aches Soonyoung has long forgotten is now coming back, he already started to develop a feeling for you, again.

Yes, he's not wrong, again. Soonyoung met you at high school and started to develop feelings for you when you're in college.

back in college, you've been popular among college students since your sophomore year. Having a student as smart as you was a blessing to the campus.

Soonyoung met you again at a café, he wants to call your name, but someone beats it.

He turned his head to the person. That's when he saw the person he hated the most since 6th grade, Kim Mingyu.

He gets heartbroken when he sees Mingyu smiling at you and kissing your lips when he's already in front of you.

That day should be a good day for him because he wants to start a relationship with you, and maybe that will lead him to have more relationships than friends.

Since then, that feeling started to turn upside down, he's no longer admiring you, he's in denial for years, and always said to himself that he hates you, until the end of his time.

When he heard that you're going to be the one he marries, he's a little excited until he remembers your memories.

He wants to hold you close in his arms when you're crying. He wants to say sorry again and again and again for the hurtful words and actions he threw at you.

It hurts to see you act so cold with him when the marriage starts, and maybe, this was really the end of it all.

Your relationship will never work.

[ఇ ◝‿◜ ఇ]

Today is the final court of your divorce, Soonyoung is in awe when he sees you in your outfit.

White button up with blue stripe adorning your body, white trousers, brown leather belts, and a white lady dior completing your overall outfit.

The sound of your heels touching the ground can be heard by everyone in the hall. you're great at hiding your nervousness.

You can see Soonyoung with his stoic expression as always, waiting for the courtroom door to be open.

And it's finally over. Your marriage is over. All these years, you've been hiding your feelings for him, wanting him to finally love you, is over.

you're not even sure if this marriage has ever started.

Soo-jung rushed towards you when she parked her car, calling your name with her concerned expression.

“y/n! Are you okay? How are you feeling? Do you wanna go somewhere?” she said while approaching you.

Soonyoung saw you and your best friend in the distance, regret started to fill up his body, as tears began to huddle in his eyes.

[ఇ ◝‿◜ ఇ]

“so, I heard that you're a single doctor now. How's it feeling?” the interviewer asked you, made you hitch your breath.

but you perfectly hid it with a small smile, “our marriage was not that simple, we're in an arranged marriage, i feel a little excited when i saw who's i'm going to marry, because i have develop feelings for him before this even started, he’s one of my patient that i operate 5 years ago, and he's on the same high school as me.

My feelings are not reciprocated, and i think he might've hated me from years prior, that time, i'm sure that i can make him, at least bear with me, but i was wrong, everything i do is wrong to him,” tears started to gather in your eyes, even if you want to forget your bad relationship, you can't.

“So I made up my mind, when the marriage starts, I act ignorant to him in the hope that maybe he will talk to me about something or anything, he's not. Everyday feels heavy, and after a few months, I gave up, i can’t handle it anymore, so I filed a divorce paper via my lawyer to him”

After you say that, the host starts trying to calm you down, feeling guilty, but you just tell her that it’s okay, and she doesn't have to say sorry.

Soonyoung watches from his office, watching your tv shows are the only medicine that can heal his guilt and longing for you.

“Mr. Kwon? Would you like to cancel your meeting?” His assistants said with hesitance. The meeting should have started 10 minutes from now, but his boss seems to be deep in his thoughts.

after a few seconds, Soonyoung replied to him, “cancel and reschedule all my meetings for next week, i need to go somewhere”

he hurriedly grabs his coat and runs to the elevator. When he's inside, he lets out a big sigh.

Soonyoung went to his driver and asked for the key of his car. His driver wanted to refuse his request, but Soonyoung just gave him his infamous sharp gaze.

“pick up pick up pick up” he said when he's already in the driver's seat and started to call your best friend, Soo-jung.

“hello?” the person on the other side says.

Soonyoung's heart is pounding loudly, “hi, Soo-jung, this is Soonyoung” he can already see that Soo-jung wants to hang up on him, so he acts fast.

“Wait, don't hang up yet, i regret everything i've done to y/n, and i need you to tell me where she is” he says, sounding so desperate.

Soo-jung gave up. She wants you to have a happy ending, but Soonyoung sounds like he will end his life if not given your location.

“She's on her penthouse, Roosevelt penthouse, 90th floor, tell the receptionist that you're a guy whose y/n family sent,” Soo-jung said before she continues, “don't make me fucking regret this, Kwon Soonyoung”

“I won't”

Soonyoung drives at full speed. This is an urgent emergency for him.

He's finally in front of your door, but he's too scared to hit the bell on your door. He won't give up like he always does, so he pushes the button, and not long after, the intercom starts to let out your beautiful voice.

“Wait a second!”

He can imagine you rushing to open your door, and that is happening right now.

“Hi– Soonyoung?” You flabbergasted by his presence, ready to close your door.

“Wait! don't close it, i want to talk something with you” he says, with pleading eyes.

So you let him go inside of your Penthouse, and guide him to your living room.

“Talk” you said while looking straight at him.

“I want to say sorry for all of my actions and words I threw on you back then, I don't know what I'm doing. i loathed you since i saw you have a relationship with Mingyu. My heart gets broken every time i remember it.

I've hated mingyu's guts since 6th grade, I shouldn't have hated you too. You don't deserve it. I've liked you since the sophomore year of our college. i tried to ignore that feelings, even when our parents said that we're going to be married, I feel excited at that time, but when I remembered your relationship with Mingyu I tried not to give you any attention so my feelings can be ignored, but it's hard, it's hard when you look beautiful every single day, going to work, cooking breakfast.

I came here after I saw your tv show, and I realized that I'm not hurting you with only my actions, but my words too. i love you, y/n” he says, tears start to pool in his eyes, and they start to fall from his right eye.

“but the name you're calling on your sleep, it's—

he cuts you off, “I'm calling you, y/n. i used to call you with your last name, Han y/n, maybe you don't realize it” he says.

“So please, forgive me, I would do anything you want me to do, just so you can give me a second chance and be with me forever, once again” with a sobs, he starts to kneel in front of you.

You get up from your couch to grab his shoulders and hurry him to get up.

When he does, you crash your lips with him, which he reapprociate your kiss.

“I love you, y/n” he says between the kisses that start to get hotter by any second.

“I love you too, Soonyoung”

[ఇ ◝‿◜ ఇ]

“How's your relationship with Soonyoung?” Soo-jung asks while sipping her wine. It's been a few weeks since the ‘Soonyoung kneeling before you’ tragedy.

“It's been great. He's really putting efforts to fix our broken relationship” you said with a wide grin, remembering all your memories together for the past week.

Soonyoung has taken a break from his office life to fully focus on you. He even brought you to every place special to him, including his grandfather's grave.

“Glad to hear that, he calls me and sounds so desperate while asking me where's your location that time” you laugh it off with her, and your conversation gets longer than you intended.

At the end of the night, you're drunk, so Soo-jung has to call Soonyoung to pick you up, using your phone, which Soonyoung answers almost immediately.

“Kwon Soonyoung, i love you” you mumbles drunkenly when Soonyoung finally puts you on the passenger seat.

“I love you too, sweetheart” Soonyoung replied with a kiss on your forehead, he gives you a bottle of water to sober up a little.

When you both reach your shared home, you spend no time kissing Soonyoung's lips full of passion and lust as soon as he gets the door closed.

And that leads to other intimate activities to help you feel good and up all night.

#seventeen x reader #seventeen scenarios #seventeen #seventeen angst #kwon soonyoung #kwon soonyoung x reader #soonyoung x reader #hoshi #hoshi x reader #hoshi angst #kml.writes☆#seventeen au

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doublebattled · 4 months ago

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"There's something wrong with all of you." She's on her fourth cup of coffee.

#life goes on... i guess ★ { main. }#black lightning ★ { ic: hilda. }#dash commentary

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doublebattled · 4 months ago

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"Aw, yeah, right. I forget you've got a whole bunch of extra steps to get through." She'd only ever been champion as an adult. Legally, anyway. Debatable as to whether she was particularly grown-up at 18.

"Alright, but you grab me if something's wrong. I ain't trying to coddle you. If looking after shit in Alola is your job, then looking after shit in Unova is mine. Don't matter how busy I am."

Yeah, maybe it’s not their fault. But it doesn’t make Ree feel much better, even when knowing that. They press down on one knuckle, focusing on that little blooming pain. Yeah, okay. That’s…

“No, you — ya don’t gotta, it’s … I know you’ve been stressed out with. Your stuff. You don’t gotta coddle me. ’sides, I dunno if I’m even going yet or not. The chairman’s gotta approve of it too, yknow, and my dad. Since I’m still a minor.”

#life goes on... i guess ★ { main. }#skullkxd

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amuromi · 1 year ago

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★ ₊ ⊹ ⋆˙ ┈ 𝐅𝐔𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐎 𝐓𝐎𝐉𝐈 X ᶠ!ᴿᴱᴬᴰᴱᴿ

✦ ⋆˙ 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓 ┈ 11.0k

✦ ⋆˙ 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐒 ┈ NSFW! actor!au, unprotected sex, pet names (baby), oral (f!receiving), ooc Toji (no, really!!)

✦ ⋆˙ 𝐀!𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄 ┈ This is very self-indulgent because I was once again infected with brain worms because of this post.

✮ 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐎𝐑𝐒 & 𝐀𝐆𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐒 𝐃𝐎 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓!! ✮

Toji is a typecast kind of actor. He started out as just a guy they call in when they need some muscle. He’s got the training for all sorts of things. Martial arts, swordplay. If a background character needs to look believably menacing, he’s the one to get on contract. And over time his bit parts as henchman number three and thug with one line slowly evolved into something more involved, because there is no denying that Toji has a face for film. Eyes that come with a vulpine sharpness, like he knows something you don’t, and a scar at the corner of his mouth that’s as marketable as any beauty mark. Really, he looks mean, but that’s exactly what a villain is supposed to look like. He’s all harsh angles that any photographer would kill to work with. So he slowly builds up a filmography from the most insignificant masked goon to a formidable kingpin, front and center. Goes from an uncredited extra to damn near top billing as a main antagonist and that’s just fine with him when the bigger roles come with a paycheck to match. It’s not anything new for him. Toji spent his whole life fighting and training. How else could he make all those stunts look so easy? It’s only right that he makes a career out of all those grueling days of harsh conditioning. And it sweetens the deal when he finally finds his girl.

Every villain needs arm candy. It’s a constant revolving door of pretty faces standing next to him whenever the director yells “action!” So many that they begin to blend together in his mind and he spends interviews bullshitting his way through any thoughts regarding his female co-stars. “She was fine, I guess.” And of course, he thinks she did a great job in that movie he’s never seen. Empty platitudes to satisfy the interviewer and keep his manager happy that he’s playing nice about the tedious media circuit. Usually his roles don’t require that much attention to detail. He’s coasted this far on his graveled voice and dour expressions, so he never bothers to pay more than the bare minimum of attention. He learns his line and character names. He knows who the blonde character named Amy is but without the blindingly bright platinum hair he couldn’t pick the actress that played her out of a lineup. So it makes his life a lot easier when they find him a girl that works.

Something about charisma and chemistry. All the buzzwords he’s fed over conference calls boil down to you being his girl. The perfect match for his onscreen persona. Real pretty with just enough training that you can fill in on most of your own stunts. So it makes sense when the two of you start cropping up as a package deal. If there’s an action movie in need of a big bad, Toji’s name is put forward, and if he needs a girl–and, sometimes, even when he doesn’t–his people are quick to toss your name into the ring. He’s not sure on the details, if your agents have worked out some kind of joint agreement or if it’s just coincidence that all the casting directors settle on you as his opposite but he’s not complaining.

You’re real easy on the eyes in a way that goes beyond basic celebrity standards. You don’t look standard. The other girls he’s worked with were standardized. All coming in the same kind of package, but with you he can pick out true individual features. He can tell when the makeup artists fuck around with your eyebrows and overdoes your lipstick. Maybe it’s ’cause he’s always looking at you nowadays, but it might also just be how gorgeous you are. Of course he wants to know what such a pretty girl looks like. It’s one of the perks of the profession and Toji is nothing if not selfish about almost everything. He’s not acting for the art, it just gives him the biggest payout at the end of the day. He likes his bank account with a ridiculous amount of zeros and it just so happens that you come along with that.

He can’t see why his manager is suddenly complaining when your names start getting tossed around in tandem more often than not. Why shouldn’t Toji date you if he wants to? And he wants to. But apparently he’s supposed to maintain a certain aura in the media. Mean and unapproachable. Which he is. There’s plenty of videos of him manhandling the paparazzi to attest to that. But that means he’s gotta be something unobtainable, and making heart eyes–he’s definitely not doing anything like that–at his favorite little co-star is certainly the opposite of unobtainable.

He tries to be pragmatic about it, saying he’s just keeping in character. Mean to everyone but his girl. But his manager isn’t going for that. Something about your people using him for clout since he’s got a few years of experience on you as the new kid on the block. Still Toji can’t see the problem. This whole damn industry is built on connections and favoritism so why can’t he help you a little if he wants to. The mere mention of his lack of concern has Shiu groaning, the sound chopped up and drawn out by a poor connection.

“You’re my most difficult client, do you know that?” The man sighs like he’s trying to wrangle a toddler into behaving.

“I’m your only client.” Toji reminds him, earning a scowl through the laptop screen.

“And whose fault is that?” Shiu sounds so put out that Toji doesn’t bother entertaining the idea that it’s anything other than his fault. Somehow. Even though it was Shiu that approached him after he spent a couple years as a free agent that productions had to play phone tag with to book. Now he’s at least a little serious about this whole acting thing, but Shiu wasn’t there from the start so he gets what he gets. An insanely marketable asset if the only thing you want to be known for is managing the big, scary guy in every action movie out in the past few years. In pigeonholing himself into what he’s good at, Toji has tied Shiu’s hands but that’s not really his issue. Especially not when he’s pissing him off, telling him to stop talking nice to you.

“All I’m saying is a little discretion would be highly appreciated.” Toji nods like he’s taking his manager’s words to heart but he knows there’s not much the man can do without shooting himself in the foot by pissing off the only person he’s got on contract.

The people wanna see the two of you together. Toji wants to see the two of you together. And you’re not putting up a fuss about seeing him on every set you show up to. The only person upset with the arrangement is Shiu, and Toji barely listens to anything the man says in the first place. So when you let slip during a break to reset a scene that you’re going through the audition process for some indie thriller starting up production he’s quick to piece together enough information to get himself in the door of an audition without Shiu knowing. You’re new enough that you’ve never had anyone else as your love interest and something cocky and maybe a tad bit possessive in him wants to keep it that way. He likes how the two of you look together, so why ruin a good thing by letting someone else work with you when you already work so well together? And you just have to look so happy to see him when the final cast is announced.

Here you come, all smiles and newly dyed hair, asking why he didn’t tell you he was trying for a part, too, and he just shrugs to keep from telling a lie. Because the truth is he wasn’t supposed to be trying for a role but like clockwork a villain was needed and he showed up to fill the spot. And it works out in his favor because he’s not here to play some one note guy with a gun. Instead he’s playing a psychopath or sociopath–he’s still not a hundred percent on the difference but you explained that there definitely is a difference–and it just so happens that his character is obsessed with you. Shiu made a snide comment about “a little on the nose, isn’t it,” when the first script came through but Toji elected to ignore him. It’s not some well-guarded secret that he likes working with you so who cares if it seems a bit much that he’s somehow always one step behind you.

Apparently, the fans care. They care a lot. He’s still trying to wrap his head around people caring so much about what he’s doing. When Shiu gets to throwing around media jargon he usually tunes him out but he hears enough about it from you that he’s starting to recognize certain terms. Fans, stans–two different things, maybe–fansites, and saesaengs–at least that’s what Shiu calls them, and they’re bad fans. Toji would rather call them what they are, which is crazed stalkers, but in the industry there needs to be a code word for everything. He’s caught you scrolling through your own tags on social media more than once, “just to see what they’re saying,” you insist, and then sulk when Toji takes your phone because you don’t need to have an unfiltered experience about how people view you online. It’s a dangerous place for someone so sensitive. You don’t have the same aloofness that he has to how people perceive him and he doesn’t need you getting your feelings hurt.

Supposed fans like to pick at every little thing people in the spotlight do. An hour on whatever app you’re scrolling that day would pick you apart like buzzards over roadkill and leave you nursing your hurt feelings for days to come. New insecurities you haven’t even considered having would crop up because one person made a comment on your nose. Never mind the fact that it looks perfect just the way it is. At least to Toji. But you’re always quick to remind him that he has something nice to say no matter how you look, which isn’t wrong but he’s never lied or over embellished his thoughts. You are beautiful. It’s not his fault for pointing out the obvious. And his blatant, albeit silent, admiration works towards your newest project together. He hears the crew whispering between takes about how unnerving he is on camera, and how it doesn’t entirely seem like an act when he’s looking at you.

It isn’t. Although Toji isn’t quite unhinged enough to stalk you or slaughter anyone that gets too close. He doesn’t need to anyway. You offer yourself up so sweetly like you can’t tell how frustratingly tempting you are. He tries to behave. For your benefit. He doesn’t care about Shiu’s constant reminders for “discretion.” And if your agent has anything to say to you about it, you’ve yet to mention it. And you never turn down his offers to go out after work.

Someone asks for your autograph when you enter the restaurant together, begging for a picture with the two of you before a starry-eyed hostess ushers you to a private table. That picture will cost him another afternoon of Shiu yapping in his ear about tarnishing his reputation but that’s a problem for later because Toji is still thinking about how you rested your hand on his chest and leaned against his shoulder for the photo. There’s probably nothing to it. Intimacy like that comes like muscle memory after so many photoshoots for movie stills and promotional images. There’s a poster somewhere of the two of you posed in just the same position but that had been directed by a photographer. This you did on your own. Toji tries not to dwell on it as you flip through the menu. He knows from experience that you’ll stare blankly at the words printed on the paper, flipping through each page like you’re reading it, just to look up with that deer in headlights face that you get anytime a waiter asks for your order. You can deal with a swarm of paparazzi with a breezy smile but the moment someone asks you what you want to eat you freeze up.

“I don’t know what to get,” you hum, still looking over all the options. Toji knows what you want. It’s an Italian restaurant and he knows you like pasta. He picks your order before his own, setting the menu aside to watch you pretend to make a choice. It’s cute, because he knows you’re genuinely trying to pick but without fail you start to blank as soon as the waitress saunters over to the table looking far more primped than the others he’s seen milling around. There’s gloss on her lips and her hair is pulled back so neatly it looks freshly done. It almost looks like she’s just clocked in except her cheeks are flushed bright and there’s a slight tremble to her hands. The hostess must’ve spread the word that celebrities were dining at table 17. She smiles real big, eyes fixed on Toji as you frantically flip through your menu, trying to decide on something. He reaches over to take it from you, giving the overeager waitress both your orders before sending her on her way.

“Thanks,” you smile. Of course, he wants to say, I got you, baby. Instead he keeps his mouth shut, nodding in acknowledgment as he waits for you to start up a new conversation. You’re on about something to do with production, how you’re still not used to being important enough to have your own assistant on set, when the waitress returns with your drinks. Her hand linger on Toji’s glass, condensation dripping over her fingers as if she’s waiting for him to reach for the cup and brush his fingers over hers. It’s like something straight out of a romance movie and he might’ve found the humor in the attempt if it weren’t so annoying. Instead of reaching for his drink he sits back in his seat, arms crossed over his chest as he glowers at the girl.

She interrupted your story about you assistant messing up your breakfast order yesterday, but you don’t seem bothered as you stick your straw in your drink, humming happily after the first sip. He ordered you one of those Shirley Temples that you always get, candied cherries floating in the soda and grenadine. After a beat longer of Toji’s unflinching glare, the waitress finally retreats with a quiet chirp about your food being out soon. You thank her and Toji wants to tell you not to waste your breath, but that would probably only confuse you. For as intuitive as you can be, you still haven’t grasped the fact that Toji would kill to be your man. It would almost be endearing how oblivious you are if it wasn’t grating on his last nerve. Here you are thanking a girl for flirting with him like it didn’t take every shred of his patience to not tell her to fuck off and leave him alone.

“So, anyway,” you continue, twirling the straw wrapper between your fingers, “he’s so used to assisting Kyoko”–some other actress Toji’s heard of in passing–“that he never actually asked for my order and just came back with her usual. Apparently she likes tomatoes in her eggs but I had to pick them out. And my omelet still ended up tasting like tomatoes. It was so bad I couldn’t finish it.” You screw your face up like just recalling the story has brought the taste back to your tongue. Toji already knows about your aversion to tomatoes. He always reminds the wait staff to remove it from your order whenever you’re out together. All it took was one time watching you peel a tomato off your burger for him to commit the little quirk to memory.

“You should get a new one,” he tells you. He’s had his fair share of assistants but they’re a rotating roster of equally intimidated people flinching every time he calls their name like he’s going to tell them to go play in traffic. Usually he just wants a drink or something from the restaurant up the street but something about Toji is just so suffocating that most assistants barely last through filming. There are very few people that can tolerate his terse personality but he’s glad you’re one of them. So pretty and so sweet like you don’t realize that everyone on the production staff avoids him unless it’s absolutely necessary to speak with him. It’s half reputation and half unmitigated judgment. Toji would like to think he’s not all bad. He can be cordial in a distant way when not provoked but so many people seem to have an expert ability to pluck at his nerves.

“Nah, it’s fine.” You’re laughing like it isn’t a big deal that you weren’t able to eat because some inattentive staff member didn’t do their job correctly. “I told him what happened and he apologized, even asked if he should go and get me my actual order, but by then it was about time for filming to start.” You wave your hand dismissively. “It wasn’t anything serious.” Except it was because you’d had to go hungry because of someone’s incompetence. There’s a reason Toji is always taking you out. Most actresses have a habit of skimping on meals to look as trim as possible and he’s not about to let you starve because that’s what the media thinks looks best. He likes you just the way you are and, as far as Toji is concerned, his opinion is the only one that should matter. Not even your own as your food arrives and you whine about not being able to finish it all.

“I’ve seen you eat more than that.” It comes out just a hair too harsh and he can see it settle over you as if he meant it as an insult. “It’s just pasta,” he says before you can get too in your head about it. “It looks like more than it is.” You grumble something under your breath, likely something snarky about how he doesn’t have to worry about portion control because you’re always saying how his stomach is a black hole. His physique is a testament to how far the human body can be pushed thanks to his tumultuous upbringing. A chasm of memories that don’t quite fit together, punched with holes like a moth-eaten shirt. Something about trauma and dissociation Shiu had said after a night of drunken oversharing.

It sounded like he was reading off the first link he found in the search results while he was looking up why Toji was such an abrasive asshole all the time. Realistically, Toji knows he has things to work on just like he knows he doesn’t care enough to put in the effort. It is what it is and as far as he’s concerned the future is far more interesting than the brick wall his brain has built between the present and the past. The future has you and there’s not much he can think of that’s better than that. Not when you’re sitting across from him yapping about whatever pops into your head and happily eating the food he knew you’d like.

“I mentioned in an interview once that I really liked this one author, and they’re releasing a new book soon. Apparently they sent me a signed advanced copy! There was a little handwritten note and everything!” It’s cute how you’re famous and still getting excited about another public figure acknowledging your existence. There’s something so genuine and humble in your happiness that seems to be missing from most of the big names he’s worked alongside. Toji isn’t always the easiest to work with considering how short his fuse is but he’s not one to take it out on people. He’s more hard stares and gruff one-liners while he’s seen other actors shout at the staff like they’re children needing to be scolded. So far, the egotistical people he’s worked with have enough sense not to snap at Toji directly. The only person that’s ever mouthed off to him is you, and it’s always within reason. He is a dick sometimes and you’re just so preoccupied with pleasing everyone that you’ll bite at him for being a bit too short with a co-star or snapping at a member of the wardrobe staff for taking too long for his liking. You make everything more pleasant for everyone involved. A little ray of sunshine in Toji’s otherwise dreary life.

He was right about the food. You finish your pasta and two of your cherry drinks before Toji pays the tab, ignoring the waitress’ number written at the bottom of the receipt. He hardly notices the blue scribbles, but you do. It seems to flip a switch in your brain as you stare at it before Toji crumples it and shoves it into his pocket. You’re quiet as you leave the restaurant, going a few paces before you finally find your voice.

“Are you gonna call her?” Your tone isn’t as playful as it usually is when you tease him about all the attention he draws. He’s gotten free drinks at bars and comped meals at restaurants because some waitress or bartender thought he was handsome. Toji has grown used to women giggling behind their hands as he passes and men peeking at him from the corner of their eye like he won’t notice. There’s a certain allure to his surliness that no one but you seems to be immune to. You and maybe Shiu. Usually the most you’ll give him is a laugh and a sarcastic quip about how he’s a public liability for all the attention he commands. Usually a joke about him stopping traffic. But you seem a bit more serious today, a bit more bothered than usual. For a second, Toji considers that he might be hearing things where you didn’t mean them. But then he catches the slight pout of your lips tinged red from your drink and he knows something’s up.

“The waitress,” you say when he takes too long to answer, “she gave you her number, right?” It takes Toji a moment to realize this is the first time anyone has been so forward with their flirtations in front of you. Of course there were always the compliments and thinly veiled innuendos, but it never goes too far considering most people just assume the two of you are together like that. This waitress had taken a chance slipping him her number, but it’s not like Toji wants it. He hands you the rumpled receipt without a second thought. There at the bottom, in that same sparkly blue pen she used to take your order, is her name and number.

“Kanna.” You say, eyes narrowing as you stare at the digits of her phone number. Toji decides to test the waters because there was certainly a hint of disdain in your voice as you read her name. You mumble something about her handwriting being messy and Toji can’t help but laugh.

“Jealous, baby?” Sunlight dances over your lashes as your eyes snap to his face. He watches you try to hide your expression, your pout disappearing as you hand him back the receipt. He shoves it back in his pocket without a second glance because he knows you’d say something about littering if he dropped it on the ground just to prove a point.

“No.” You say it too quickly for it to be true.

“Liar.” Toji laughs because you’re so clearly bothered. Usually someone making a pass at him wouldn’t get you so flustered but there’s something different about you today. You’re more openly affectionate. There’s still those moments of hesitation but you’ve been more free with grabbing his hand as you walk and leaning against him when you’re idle. That girl couldn’t have rattled you. She was hardly anything to look at, less so when Toji is constantly surrounded by a plethora of perfectly curated women that fit rigidly into the popular look of the moment. Trendsetting hairstyles and the latest designer clothes. You’re more subdued, less artificial in your style choices, yet he still finds you leagues more beautiful than anyone he’s ever seen before. Certainly more so than that random waitress and her glitter pen.

Toji has to hold back a smile as you walk ahead of him. Taking three steps for every one of his and still only managing to stay a half step in front of him. He can tell you’re trying to distance yourself, arms crossed and lips pouted as you rush forward. Toji let’s you. It’s not like you’re far ahead and, lucky for him, you’re headed to the same place. The hotel is a few blocks away and Toji takes the time to enjoy the way the sun moves over your hair, golden light settling like a halo around your head. It’s only when you reach the towering silhouette of the hotel that the sun is eclipse and you go dull. Without the shower of gilded light you look more dejected than annoyed. A kicked puppy rather than an angry dog. You make it as far as the elevator before Toji decides he’s had enough of the running. His grip on your arm is as gentle as he can manage while keeping you from slipping away from him. His free hand finds your hip as the floors rush past. Your shuffling lifts your shirt ever so slightly and Toji finds his thumb brushing over the exposed skin above your waistband before he can contemplate the consequences.

Toji touches you all the time. As his on screen love interest, he’s inclined to be physically affectionate when the cameras are rolling. But even off screen he can’t help the way his true desires bleed into his actions. The media eats it up every time a picture of the two of you surfaces, the rumor mills running overtime to concoct a front page story for one tabloid or another. But that’s always been part of the show. The same way you leaned into him when that fan asked for a picture is the way he holds your waist on the red carpet. This is different. There are no cameras. No one to impress or enthrall. This is simply Toji wanting to touch you, and you letting him. The feeling of his fingers dipping beneath the hem of your shirt have gotten you to go still, leaning back into his chest as he watches your reflection in the polished metal of the elevator doors.

“Let go.” It’s only the two of you in the elevator and yet your voice is no louder than a whisper. Toji scoffs, hands loosening little by little.

“You want me to?”

“No.” Your voice is even smaller than before. The quietest admission like you’re unsure of it yourself. Still, Toji lets go and watches you stumble because you were leaning so heavily against him.

Immediately he can feel the absence of your warmth against his chest, but he’ll let you come back to him. He’s made his intentions clear. From here, the choice is yours. When the doors ding open, you nearly sprint down the hall and Toji assumes you’ve made your choice. He can live with it. He doesn’t blame you for it. The moments you’ve shared together always felt a bit too good to be true, just as perfect as when the cameras are rolling. But you stop in the middle of the hallway. Your room is further down but you don’t move to go any further, as if something has rooted you to that place. Toji sets a leisurely pace in his approach.

There’s the expectation that you’ll go running off again the moment he gets too close like a rabbit evading a wolf, but you surprise him with your stillness. Even as he recaptures your waist, hands more purposefully dipping under your shirt as he pulls you into his chest. This isn’t the place for it. A picture like this would be a PR nightmare and he’d never hear the end of it from Shiu. But Toji can’t bring himself to worry about that right now. Instead he asks which room you want to go to. His is closer but he doesn’t doubt you’d be more comfortable in your own. You lead the way, swiping your card to unlock the door before pulling him inside.

After a month of filming, you’ve turned this temporary situation into your own. It smells like you more than any industrial strength cleaner that the housekeepers use. He recognizes the smell of your shampoo and that scented lotion that you love so much. The bed is freshly made and that damn duck that a fan gifted you months ago is propped up against the pillows next to the remote. A bit of tension leaks from your shoulders as you laugh and explain that the housekeepers have been doing this for weeks, setting a cute little scene for you to return to after they’ve straightened up the room. You set the remote and duck on the nightstand as you sit at the edge of the bed, perched as if you don’t want to crease the freshly steamed linens. You look nervous and it stops Toji from wandering further than the little entryway. He’s flanked by a closet and a mirror just like in his room but he can’t take his eyes off you. Your hands are tucked between your thighs and he tries not to focus on the way you’re shifting and squirming, squeezing your legs together.

He can almost see the heat flooding through your body and he’s more than capable of flushing it out if you’ll just ask him to. He feels like a leashed dog waiting for the command to pounce. He reaches up to brace his arms against the dropped ceiling annexing the entryway from the rest of the room. For all your silence, your body is speaking for itself. Toji’s eyes don’t miss the way your throat bobs as you swallow, eyes focused on the way his arms flex above his head.

“I can’t tell you what to do,” Toji says even though he really wants to. He knows you’d listen, too. But this isn’t something he can script and direct. You have to decide for yourself, give him the words he’s looking to hear. “You gotta tell me what you want, baby.” He sees the little pet name land, watches how you dip your chin and look up at him through your lashes. Embarrassed and he hasn’t even done anything yet.

“Don’t make me,” you mumble. It’s so starkly different from the sultry confidence he sees on set, a true testament to your skills as you struggle to find the words to say you want him. Because he knows you do. It’s clear in the way you keep stealing glances at him even as you point your face away, hiding like he can’t see the way your teeth nip nervously at your lip.

“I won’t.” He agrees. “Won’t make you do anything you don’t want to, so you gotta tell me. What do you want, baby?”

Toji wants to think he’d be able to turn tail and head back to his own room if you denied him, take a cold shower and forget this ever happened, but he knows it’s a lie. He’s already so swept up in your orbit that denial would feel like a punch to the gut. He’s taken worse, but not from you. It would be like sucking the air from his lungs. It’s gotten so bad that he can’t imagine a day without you. Work was only a pretense. He got to see you everyday because you were contractually obligated. Now you’re far past coworkers hanging around each other because it’s what the job demands. He likes to think you see him as a friend, maybe something more. He could live with just being a friend as long as it means he gets to spend time in your bed. He’s got so few people that he talks to on a day to day basis that Toji imagines it wouldn’t really make a difference what you called him as long as you do call him.

Finally, you don’t say his name, or anything really, but you extend a hand towards him and he rushes forward like a tsunami swallowing the shoreline. He kneels and tries not to think of how stupid he must look prostrating himself at your feet. You don’t seem to think any less of him for his poorly concealed eagerness. It's a desire grown over years of working alongside you. A sort of desperation that will knock the breath out of your lungs as soon as you give him the go ahead. Because Toji has had women. Countless, faceless. He’s slept with enough people to know this feels different. He wonders if this is what it's like for desire to feel real. Because why else would he be so hung up on you after so long. He’s not a man after a chase. He won’t run after anyone. Unless it’s you. He’s been running so fucking hard that he’s nearly out of breath and here he is so close to the finish line in a marathon he hadn’t realized he was running. And you’re the prize brushing his hair back and touching the scar at the corner of his mouth like he’s something to be gentle with.

“You scare me.” He hears you say it through waves of blood rushing in his ears. He’s familiar with fear but never from you. From day one you’d been strangely calm around him. Like a deer sitting beside a mountain lion without a care in the world. Toji knows he’s something to be afraid of. He’s lived his life. He knows exactly how dangerous he is, how terrifying he must seem. It was stupid to think you were above that fear just because you smiled at him.

“I’m scared you’re gonna hurt me.” You say softly. But you’re still touching him. Humans tame predators, he reminds himself. A wolf can be turned into a dog with the proper treatment. He thinks again of how he’s kneeling at your feet. He’s been tamed–whipped as Shiu called it–by you.

“M’not gonna hurt you.” He tries to work the gravel from his voice, to sound less brooding as he reassures you. It doesn’t work. He’s set in stone. Too old to learn a new trick. If you’ll have him, Toji will be whatever you need, but you gotta take him as he is. Because it’s all he has to give.

“Promise?” Your tone is so soft he half expects you to stick out your pinky or make him cross his heart.

“I promise.”

“I’m serious, Toji. I don’t want to be just another girl to you. If we do this, we’re doing this. You can’t use me and leave me. I won’t let you.” He hears the unspoken words. I won’t let you hurt me. So that’s what you meant. Of course you aren’t afraid of him. You’re scared in the way everyone seemed to be of each other. Scared to commit, scared to be vulnerable. Toji loathes to think he feels the same. Rejection would hurt if it came from you. But it hasn’t. You’re still playing with his hair and Toji hears a damning thought surface in his head; I could marry this girl. He shoves it down before it can fully form. It’s too soon, too optimistic. He knows who he is as much as he tries to be better when he’s with you. Toji could hurt you. Get scared and break your heart. He knows if he did he’d never see you again.

No more stupid videos getting sent to him at 5AM because you’re in the makeup chair at the crack of dawn. No more ordering your food because you can’t ever get the words out yourself. No more shoving you to the inside of the sidewalk because you like balancing along the curb as you walk. He could live without seeing you on set ever again. That had only been a symptom. The root of it was simply you. In any way he could have you.

It’s pathetic but he’s addicted in a way he never thought possible. Never let himself think it was possible. Not for a guy like him. Movies gave him an outlet for his more violent tendencies. He would’ve done just as well as a boxer or something else where he could get paid to rough people up in a way that was above board. He’d done it the illegal way for years. Got away with it too. You have every right to be scared of him. Every right to leave him. But in this moment you’re here and he’s selfish. He leans up to kiss you.

It doesn’t feel new. There’s no picturesque fireworks clouding his head. It isn’t new. He’s kissed you a hundred times over by now. It doesn’t feel new, but it feels right. Especially without the motivation of a camera. He isn’t kissing a character, he’s kissing you. And you’re kissing him.

“Stop thinking so hard.” Because Toji can tell by the way your hands flutter over his shoulders with nervous uncertainty that you’re not all here. You’re thinking about this like someone is going to snap at you for messing up an angle or pressing too close and smearing your makeup. He hears you mumble a feeble apology.

“None of that. We’re doing this, baby. You and me. Don’t think about anything else.” That gets you to loosen up enough for Toji to work you out of your clothes. He’s never had the pleasure. There’s never been a reason for his hands to be pressing underneath your shirt and it feels like his hands are melting into your skin as they push towards your chest, taking your shirt with them. You’re warm and pliant, softening like butter under his touch. Toji gets you out of your shirt with a bit too much eagerness, ruffling your hair as you squeak at his desperation. He can’t even find it in him to care if he looks overeager now because he is.

He’s been after you for years and he’s not about to let this opportunity slip through his fingers. Beneath your clothes is an endless expanse of skin hidden only by the covering of your underwear. Plain cotton, nothing special, but it has him throbbing in his pants because it’s you. And you have the audacity to mumble about “didn’t know we were doing this, would’ve worn something nicer,” like Toji isn’t practically drooling at the way your pretty blue panties sit on your hips. He thumbs at the elastic, pulling it back just to hear it snap against your skin. It’s like unwrapping a gift and he’s looking to savor it.

“They’re gonna know,” he says as he kisses along the shape of your breasts peeking out the top of your bra. He could put a mark there. Bite down on the soft skin and leave a print of his teeth in your skin, put a bruise there with his greedy mouth as he licks at the line where skin meets fabric, hiding the rest of you away in the cups of your bra. He could mark you up and they’d know. Everyone would know exactly who did it because Toji isn’t ashamed to admit he’s been after you like a dog, barking at anyone that got even remotely too close for comfort. A co-star could simply be complimenting the outfit wardrobe had chosen for a particular scene and he’d be looming behind them with murder in his eyes. Of course you look gorgeous but only he should get to look that hard at you.

“Don’t!” You squeak when he noses over your skin, looking for a place to sink his teeth. “Don’t leave any marks!” He almost wants to ignore you and latch his mouth on to you anyway, but Toji resists the urge. You’ve asked him to behave and he wants to be a gentleman for you. Or, at least, the closest a man like him can get to it. He can still tease you about it, though.

“No?” He mocks you. “You don’t want me to leave any marks? What, you got someone else that gets to see you like this, baby?” You squirm at his patronizing tone, a pout working its way onto your lips. He nips at your bottom lip before smoothing the expression with a kiss.

“You know that’s not what I meant,” you whine. “Makeup and–” He kisses you again, slipping his tongue between your parted lips, because of course he knows. Makeup would make a fuss if he left marks on your neck, wardrobe would pitch a fit if they found hickeys in a place their designated outfits couldn’t cover. You’d be in the makeup chair even longer as they painted over all the places he’d marked you up.

“You taste like cherries.” He mumbles against your mouth. The taste has him fumbling for his pants like a fucking virgin because it’s so innate to you. Those little fruity drinks you love so much have him pressing painfully against his zipper. Toji has you leaned up against the pillows as he sits back on his knees to pull his shirt off. He doesn’t miss the way your thighs twitch, pressing tighter together at the sight of him looming over you bare-chested. He doesn’t toss his shirt far because he wants to see you wearing it later. Right now you smell like you. Your lotion, your shampoo. He can’t wait to tired you out and wrap you up in his clothes until you smell like him.

He wants to mark you up in other ways if he can’t do it with his lips. So everyone knows exactly who you belong to. The idea that you had to make him swear to not let this be a one off kind of thing is utterly laughable when Toji hasn’t wanted to stray away from you since nearly the first time you met. Nothing anyone else has to offer could be better than what you can give him. Although he’s happy that the little waitress tried. You wouldn’t have been so worked up if she hadn’t. He’s been teetering on the edge of insanity being so close to you everyday and it’s nice that he’s finally caught a glimpse of what you’re like when you get so wrapped up in your mind that you start acting out of character. Because Toji hasn’t felt this crazy over anyone and he’s glad he’s not suffering this lovestruck psychosis alone. It’s dumb and childish but he’s got so little in his life that’s sweet and pure that he isn’t about to poison this with toxic hang ups about maintaining his persona.

“Did it make you mad, baby?” He asks as he bullies his way between your legs. You move with him, thighs parting to give him space even as you shrink back into the pillows, brows pinched as you watch him settle his cheek against your thigh. “Did that girl at the restaurant upset you?” He wants to hear you admit it. He smirks at the way you screw up your face, nose scrunching in distaste at the mention of another woman.

“Don’t say things like that when we’re like this,” you grumble, jerking the leg he’s resting on. He bites at you in retaliation and because he wants to hear you squeak about leaving marks again.

“You are mad.” He smirks and watches the way your cheeks puff indignantly as you pout at him. He wants to kiss that petulant little expression off your face but Toji can’t bring himself to move even an inch away from where he’s resting. With his face cushioned by the pillowy warmth of your thighs he can see the mess spreading between your legs. A dark spot is forming in your panties, getting bigger with every shift of your hips. Toji slips a finger under the elastic and can practically hear the sound of the fabric sticking to your skin. It makes his mind go blank and all he can think about is getting closer. He blinks and suddenly his face is buried at the apex of your thighs, panting like a dog as he noses against the soiled fabric, tongue chasing the taste of you seeping through the cotton.

“Wait!” You squeak, and he tries to. He pulls back but only far enough to look up at you. His nose stays nuzzled against the seam of your cunt, brushing against where your clit is throbbing through the fabric.

“What’s wrong?” He asks even though he can think of a few things as his finger drags through the space between your panties and pussy, making a slick noise that has him grinding against the mattress. So fucking wet.

“Nothing…” Toji recognizes the face you make in an instant. He’s seen it a hundred times over by now. It always reminds him of a puzzle the way you fix your expression whenever a camera is rolling. It’s always your mouth first. Smile dropped, pout gone, lips pressed into a neutral line. He sees every piece of your face fall into place until it’s perfectly blank. He watches you awhile longer until your composure breaks again and your brows dip into something resembling anxiety.

“Nervous, baby?” He doesn’t need you to answer but you do anyway, nodding slowly. “I’ve got you. You’re okay. Just lemme take care of you, okay?” You nod again and Toji rewards the loosening of your muscles with a gentle kiss to your stomach. “Behave.” He says and watches the way you tense up again. It’s less nerves, more anticipation as you watch him slink back between your legs. He decides to spare your underwear, pulling them down nice and proper instead of tearing them off of you like he’s so desperate to do. It takes a few seconds longer and gives you a chance to knock your knees together as he sits up to pull the bundle of fabric off your ankles.

“What did I say?” He asks, loving the way the timbre of his voice seems to send a shiver through your prone body. “Behave.” You don’t resist as he spreads your legs again but you start to squirm the longer he stares. Toji has spent many a night in the privacy of his hotel room fisting his dick to whatever image of you his mind could conjure but nothing could come close to the real thing.

“S’pretty, baby.” He mumbles, tongue tripping over the words. He’s just lost any semblance of cognitive function. All he can see is you, spread out and dripping on the sheets, and he can’t wait another second to get his mouth on you.

I’m gonna marry this girl, he can’t help the thought as your lashes flutter and lips part the moment he gets his mouth on your pussy. You’re still nervous, twitching and squirming like you aren’t sure what to do with yourself. Toji decides for you, arms hooking under your legs to hold you still. That still leaves your hands to flutter anxiously, skating over where his fingers dig into the meat of your thighs and brushing across his hair like you’re afraid to touch him. It makes him groan in annoyance, the sound humming against your clit. It makes you go limp, hands falling still. One rests against his head and the other over his hand. Toji loosens his grip on your leg just enough to thread his fingers through yours, pointedly ignoring how intimate the small touch feels even though he has his tongue buried in your pussy. He’s being greedy, tonguing at your hole and nosing against your clit as your cunt makes a mess of his face, but the moment is softened by the way your fingers squeeze around his.

He feels your nails against his scalp. Not quite gripping, more so petting and it feels like something akin to a reward as he makes a mess between your legs. You don’t tense up again and Toji realizes the idle movement of your hands is grounding you even as your thighs shake around his head. He can barely breathe but he can’t even fathom pulling away when you’re making such pretty noises and trying to grind your hips against his face. You’re slurring something between those soft sighs that sounds an awful lot like “thank you,” and Toji wrenches his mouth away from you because he’s one more head scratch away from cumming in his pants like some virgin. He doesn’t even bother to get his underwear down all the way. He just shoves the waistband low enough to get his dick out and nearly collapses on top of you the second he feels your cunt against his skin.

Toji braces an arm beside your head, leaning close enough to feel your breath ghosting across his skin. He kisses you to get you to close your eyes, but he keeps his half lidded as he watches you squirm as you taste yourself on his tongue. The mess you’ve left on his face transfers to yours as he rubs his face against your cheek like a needy puppy. It would be more embarrassing if you weren’t acting just as clinging. He can feel the needling sensation of your nails digging into his shoulder. It sends shivers down his spine, lingering just right on the cusp of pain and pleasure. Toji tries to kiss you again but it ends up being more of a heady clashing of teeth and tongue as he presses his parted lips against yours. Still tastes like cherries, he thinks, enjoying the mix between sweet and savory as the taste of your arousal still sticks to his tongue.

“Don’t look at me like that,” he groans as you press a wet kiss to the corner of his mouth, right where his scar is. And because you’re so frustratingly sweet you blink up at him, slow and wide like the little doe eyed beauty that you are, and ask, “Like what?”

“Like that,” Toji groans as you raise your brows and tilt your head, lips pulling into another one of your signature pouts. “Fuck, turn over.” He hooks an arm under your back and flips you fast enough to leave you gasping. Your hand flutters to find him again where it’s settled against your heaving stomach. He can feel your pulse flutter as you catch your breath, body shivering with something softer than anxiety. Anticipation weaves its way through your body. Toji can tell in the way you tense and relax at each minute movement he makes. He decides to tease you as he fists the base of his cock, squeezing hard to keep from cumming on the smooth expanse of your back. His hand moves from your stomach to leave you teetering on quivering arms as he trails his finger up your spine. You bend to match his touch, arching as his fingertip traces over the contours of your back. Goosebumps raises where he touches and you shiver, head falling between your shoulders.

Toji takes advantage of the vulnerable position. Your hair is usually down during filming and there’s little reason for that to change in the coming days so he feels little guilt about the way his teeth scrape against the nape of your neck. It makes your arms give out and Toji’s teeth tighten on the soft skin as your new position presses you back against his hips. He hadn’t meant to leave a mark but there’s likely to be one now. He pulls away, lapping apologetically at the faint indent of his teeth before grabbing your hips to keep you flush against him. If you move again he’s going to ruin the sheets instead of you, but you’re still squirming like you want him to embarrass himself by coming too soon. It becomes plainly clear that your intention is to kill him as you toss your hair over your shoulder and look up at him through your lashes, mumbling a soft “are you gonna fuck me now?”

The answer is a resounding yes and Toji can’t bring himself to think of anything else as he guides his dick inside you. This time he does collapse, falling forward before he can catch himself. It pushes him inside in one go and you let out a long whine, grinding against him as Toji rests his forehead against the back of your neck. You’re starting to sweat now with all that wiggling you’ve been doing and he licks along the column of your neck to distract from the way your pussy is choking his dick. He can hear you whining, feel it too with the way his chest is flush against your back. A soft litany of “please,” and “move,” with his name punctuating each little gasp. He can feel you trying to grind against him, held still partially by the weight of his body. He’s got you almost completely pinned and decided to finish the job. You squeak as he presses his knee against yours, spreading your legs until you collapse onto your stomach.

“Stay there,” he says like you have any hope of moving without him peeling his heavy body off of you. He has no intentions of doing anything remotely close to that as he shoves a pillow under your hips and his arm under your jaw.

“Comfy?” He asks. He can feel the way your cheeks are squished in the crook of his arm as you try to nod and go back to begging. He nips at the shell of your ear, soothing the sting with his tongue, as he pulls his hips back. You’re close. He can feel it in the way your pussy is desperate to keep him inside, squeezing tight every time he pulls away. It’s got him on the edge, filling the hotel room with the heavy sound of skin against skin. He’s glad the bed is so sturdy.

There’s no squeaking or knocking headboard as he drives you up the mattress with his desperate rutting. He gets a hand between you and the sheets to pinch at your nipples, rolling the sensitive buds between his fingers. It makes you keen and that’s the only thing Toji can’t be bothered to keep quiet. He wants to hear every little sound you make after giving him so much lip about the waitress. You had so much to say earlier and he’s only too happy to hear you out. Neighbors be damned. It’s likely the floor is mostly if not completely vacant given that two celebrities are boarding here but Toji can’t help but want you to be loud in case there’s anyone to hear. This all feels a bit too much like a dream and he’d relish a noise complaint just to make it all seem real.

“You feel so good, baby.” Toji grunts in your ear. “So good for me.” Something like a giggle works its way out of your mouth and Toji almost tells you to shut up because the sound goes straight to his dick. His hand leaves your breasts to find that spot between your legs. Your breathing stutters as his calloused fingers find your clit. It’s like lighting a fuse. You start up your squirming again, nails scratching at his arm tucked under your chin like you’re trying to get away. It takes Toji a second to realize that you are. Curling up on yourself, trying to run from the feeling of his body on yours. You’re not saying anything, but you are drooling. He can feel it slicking down his forearm as he loosens his hold just enough to make sure you’re not suffocating under his strength. He can hear those stuttering little breaths and soft mewls that are soon accompanied by a hand pushing blindy at his wrist.

“Fuck no,” Toji grumbles. His hand leaves your clit just long enough to roll you onto your back. He hears a little sigh of relief as you relax into the sheets for a moment. There are tears sparkling in your eyes and wetting your lashes. Your whole face is shining with sweat and spit and it makes Toji a little prideful to see you so thoroughly ruined because of him.

“You gonna be good for me, baby? Gonna behave?” He asks once you catch your breath. Before you can answer he’s already gathering your wrists in one hand to press them into the pillows above your head while his other hand slaps his dick against your messy cunt. He grinds the head of his cock against your clit, precum staining your skin as he teases you, asking if it feels good. He huffs out a laugh when you nod. It’s so earnest, so desperate.

“Yeah it does. You don’t have to run from it, baby. Lemme make you feel good. Want you to feel good for me.” He pants, leaning down until you’re nose to nose as he presses back inside you. The sound you make is lost in the press of your lips as Toji lavishes you with more sloppy kisses. He can feel himself teetering on the edge, balls tightening with each little whine that leaves your lips. His hand finds its way back between your legs and he has your back arching within seconds. He can feel you trying to pull away again, arms tugging at where he has you pinned even as your greedy legs lock around his waist. He can feel your muscles trembling as he draws tight circles on your clit, whole body pulling taut as you get closer to the edge.

The only words leaving your mouth are his name and soft gasps of “please, please, please,” like Toji is in any position to deny you what you want. He lets go of your wrists if only because he knows you won’t try to run from him now. Instead your arms wrap around him, pulling with enough strength to catch him off guard. Toji nearly collapses on top of you as you pull him into a surprisingly chaste kiss. A shudder runs down his back as your nails drag against his scalp and it’s all just a bit too much. Your pussy milking him like you’re trying to get pregnant–belatedly, he realizes he should’ve worn a condom–and your lips in his ear telling him to let go.

“Wanna feel it. Want it inside,” you whine. It’s so damningly sweet that Toji can’t find it in himself to even attempt to deny you. The thought of pulling out had briefly crossed his mind but your thighs are still locked around his waist and he isn’t above doing something stupid to satisfy himself. The consequences can be dealt with later. He lasted longer than he expected but there’s no mistaking how pent up Toji has been as he cums inside you. He fills you up and then some, feeling it leaking out. The tension bleeds from his body as he curls over you, grip loosening on your wrists enough that you wriggling free to wrap your arms around his shoulders. There’s the prickling heat of your nails scratching at him as you wrap yourself tight around him like you never want him to leave. Toji returns the favor. You shiver, a happy little sigh leaving your lips as he wraps his arms around you.

“Clingy,” he says quietly, still loud enough for you to hear and he feels the way your arms tense then loosen, trying to pull away like you missed the humor in his voice. “Stop it.” He mutters, sitting back up to pull you into his lap.

Usually Toji isn’t one to stick around after he’s gotten what he wants out of an encounter but the usual instinct to peel his partner off of him as soon as possible is absent with you. He revels in the way your head rests against his chest, soft breathes ghosting across his skin. Toji’s hands find your waist, fingers sinking into the softness of your skin as he lifts you just enough to pull out. There’s a puddle forming on the sheets from the way he’s leaking out of you and he entertains the thought of plugging his fingers inside you for half a second before remembering how stupid that would be after he already came inside you with no protection. You don’t seem too worried about it and Toji supposes that’s all that matters. He watches the way the mood settles into something less frenzied, more coherent, but the anger never comes. He’s expecting you to snap at him for being so careless but all he gets is a soft smile and even softer kisses. The taste of cherries still lingers.

“We should do something about that,” he says, eyes still trained on the space between your bodies. Stained white and sticky from how hard he was fucking you. It streaks up your thighs and shines bright on his pelvis, staining the freshly changed sheets. You blink slow, like a kitten, before finally acknowledging the mess between your legs.

“Should be fine, I’m on the pill. I’ll stop by the store later if you’re worried.” He’s not. Part of him wishes you hadn’t mentioned birth control. He’s selfish when it comes to you and even though it would be the worst outcome, Toji finds himself wondering what it would’ve been like if he did get you pregnant. Then he remembers your careers and lets the thought slip away into the recesses of his mind. It’s a desire for a later date because you’ve already said this isn’t gonna be a one and done kind of thing. There’s time for things to get more serious, to have a proper discussion instead of letting it happen on a whim. He clings to the idea of a future with you because that’s really all he has. As soon as he set eyes on you, you began to infiltrate his every thought like a weed invading his mind. But you’re not a weed, far too pretty for that. And even if you were, he likes the way you cloud his mind. Gives him something sweet to think about when there’s always been such a lack of nice things in his life. He kisses your neck, tasting sweat and perfume. After a while he gathers you up and makes you decent enough to make the trip to his room.

“I owe Shiu money.” He groans halfway through his shower. You’re sitting just outside the tiny cubicle, perched on the toilet. Freshly washed and wearing his shirt just like he wanted.

“You made a bet about me with your manager?” He hears the uncertainty in your voice even over the spray of water and realizes how the admission must sound. He shuts off the water and steps out into a cloud of steam to see you looking crestfallen. There’s a hesitance on your face that makes his stomach churn. Anxiety isn’t something Toji is entirely familiar with and he finds that he hates the way the acidic feeling settles in his chest.

“Not like that, baby. He just knows how much I’ve been wanting you. He called me on my bullshit years ago.” It would be embarrassing admitting that he’s been pining after you for so long if you didn’t smile and try to hide your face. He hears you mumble, “Thought it was just me,” as you tuck your face into the collar of his shirt to cover your smile. There’s a tremble or hesitance in your voice like you can’t believe Toji would pay you the time of day, like he wasn’t just chomping at the bit to get you in bed. It’s a fair assumption given his usually detached disposition that so few people take the time to see past. You’re one of them but he can appreciate the air of unknowns that lingers around him. Toji is just like he seems on camera.

Rude, abrasive, volatile when provoked. He acts something like a grizzled guard dog but even they have people they’re gentle for. It’s almost sickening how easily he can see himself with you. Made worse by how easily you accept him. You’re giving him that look again, like he’s your favorite person in the world.

“What’s that look?” He asks as you watch him get dressed. He brought you to his room so you can nap on an unsoiled bed. He wonders if the housekeepers will tuck your duck in again after washing his cum out of your sheets.

“What look?” You have the nerve to ask like you’re not looking at him with more softness than he’s seen in his entire life. He decides not to mention it. The need for discretion that Shiu has been trying to drill into him will be lost in the wind soon enough. Toji already couldn’t take his eyes off you and now he has more reason to be with you all the time. Media be damned, he’s gonna be all over you now that you’re his, officially. And you seem to share the sentiment as you curl up on top of him as soon as he gets in bed, humming happily when his arms find your waist. He hears a sleepy murmuring of “I’m your girlfriend,” soft and giggly like you couldn’t be more happy about it. It’s like a final nail in the coffin for Toji. He’s always thought of you as his girl and now it’s finally real. No cameras, no audience. Unscripted and real.

#toji ★#toji smut #toji x reader #toji x reader smut #jjk smut #jjk x reader #★ mine!

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queenie-the-court-jester · 1 year ago

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circus x gn!reader

ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, please, raise your hands for tonight's star act, mx.maddox and the wanderer's!

★Waking up in a thick black fog was not something you'd ever expect to happen to you. Looking around, Spotting a circus in the distance, was pretty much your only hope of finding a way out. What were they doing out here? Were they in the same boat as you? Regardless, you just hoped they're nice..

★kri was the first to meet you, having found you wandering around outside the circus tents, he quickly introduced himself and asked you where you came from. After explaining your predicament, he nodded in thought

"gee.. that sounds rough.. but don't worry, I'm sure Maddox will know what to do, come with me!"

★Maddox had been stuck in the circus for a long while, along with the other residents. Kri opened the flap into his tent and quickly explained the situation.

"I'm sorry for your predicament young one.. but im afraid we don't know any way out.. on the other hand, you are welcome to stay and be apart of the circus"

★having no other options you accepted, kri excitedly dragging you to the nursery, where all the children and young adults stayed. He introduced you to jiro, Kyo and wendy. Explaining how the four of them were the clowns

★jiro welcomed you with a kind smile, and nodded his head as greeting. You noticed how he didn't seem like much of a talker, preferring to watch and listen

"welcome y/n, I hope you enjoy your stay here"

★Kyo was obviously the most energetic of the bunch, happily blabbering about whatever and making horrible jokes. His friends only gave a small laugh and pat on the back

"it's great to see a new face, come to me if you need a picker upper okay?"

★and last but not least, Wendy. She stayed quiet, giving a shy smile and looking away whenever you'd make eye contact. She shook your hand and soon left, having seemed uncomfortable

"don't mind her... She just needs time getting used to everything, she'll come around"

★they assigned you a bed, and that's how your life at the circus started. Everyone was very welcoming, everyone but wendy. Often staring at you wearily and from a distance. 'Till one night, she came into your tent after everyone went to sleep

"shhh.. I'm sorry for bothering you this late butI need to talk to you.."

"..okay? What is it you need?"

"I'm sorry if I've been coming off as.. distant.. it's just.. you remind me of something that feels so familiar, but I can't put my finger on it.."

"oh..."

"..as you already know, everyone calls me wendy, so you can too I guess.. sorry, did that come off as cold? I'm not really used to Talking to new people.. a-anyways, if you need anything, or if you have any questions.. you can come to me"

"I'll.. keep that in mind, thank you Wendy"

★she gives you a smile and leaves soon after, quickly rushing away. The next few days, she slowly starts talking to you. Opening up bit by bit

"you know.. everyone calls us the dream team, but I really don't think we're suitable for that name. Even Maddox calls us a nightmare!"

"yeah, because you're the main factor to that assumption"

"Wendy.."

"...sorry"

★during your stay with them, you learned that Wendy showed up at the circus just a few days before you, no wonder she seemed so distant. Sometimes she'd say random words in Spanish, most likely cussing kyo out

★their roles in their act goes like this: jiro and kri are the sideshow, doing tricks and all sorts of things while Kyo and wendy were the mains. Acting out many silly stories and using slapstick humor most of the time.

★the first time you saw them in their costumes you nearly had a heartattack. Imagine seeing four scary looking clowns just staring at you ominously from the darkness

★they perform for these shadow people that would come to the circus, nobody knows what they are or why they show up, but there were rumours that once, long ago, the previous circus inhabitants refused to perform for them and.. well.. they had to be "replaced"

★during one of the dream teams acts, you wandered off. Exploring the back tents and dressing rooms when you came across multiple people you recognized, from when they all welcomed you into their little family

★a ballerina named Odette, who was next in line for the show. She seemed sweet as she waved at you from her dressing room, waving back you quickly left

"oh! Hello y/n, do you need something?"

★samson the beast tamer, a peculiar cocky man. He bowed as he dragged a lion by a chain collar behind him. You sincerely hoped they didn't mistreat the animals like other circuses, but judging by the lions calm and obedient attitude, maybe it was domesticated?

"good day sweets"

★will the stuntsman. He gave you a devilish grin as he passed by you, carrying some metal pipe. Giving a wave and smile in return

"see ya later toots!"

★maybe living in the circus won't be so bad..?

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elizarislika · 1 month ago

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śūnya - «empty»

Fandom: 恋与深空|Love and Deepspace Relationships: Main Character/Xia Yizhou|Caleb Date of writing: [29.01.2025] Words: 2,207 Tags: Angst, Drama, Missing Scene, Drabble, First Person Narrative Warnings: Deviations from canon

Summary:

Black veins sprawl across my body, a mysterious Aether Core pulses in my heart, and my memory is increasingly blank. Setting out on a new assignment from the Hunter's Association, I try to find answers, but instead come face to face with a man whose death was mourned long ago, and who seems to be resting in his grave. Should have been resting... Yet a painfully familiar voice sounds very close by. It can't be a hallucination, no. He's alive, alive. Wait...He? Who is he?

★・゜・。・゜✧・゜・。・゜☆ 📌 Author's Notes/Disclaimer: [Please note: The work is NOT canon. It is based on the plot branches of the original with my personal headcanons.]

“śūnya” translates from Sanskrit ‘empty’, ‘filled with nothing’, ‘uninhabited’, ‘lonely’, ‘devoid of anything’; also, the word ‘śūnya’ corresponds to the numeral ‘zero’ in Devanagari.

☆・゜・。・゜✧・゜・。・゜★

📄 Publication:

Eng ver Ao3 | Ru ver ficbook.net

Emptiness.

A metaphysical concept that goes beyond the traditional explanations associated with the physical world. It is not simply the absence of objects; emptiness implies a deeper concept. A state in which any substance or form is absent, which leads to reflections on the very nature of existence. In this context, it is not just a physical space free of matter, but also a metaphor for the lack of meaning or significance in life.

It seems that my whole life has been an emptiness.

***

The Hunter's Association is always swamped with work.

Wanderers have been plaguing the citizens of Lincoln for about 14 years. But lately, everything's changed.

New protocols have the whole base on edge. Behavioral changes, new forms and, unfortunately, an increasing number of victims.

– There's no end of them!

The UNICORNS have been working hard. The wounded are forced to get out of their bunks faster. Vacationers are coming out of their personal leaves. Work is boiling over. It's not just opportunity at stake, but survival.

– We're in trouble. – The conference room filled with hunters immediately tenses at the sound of their Captain's voice. Jenna walks to the command console, turning on the broadcast of the last report. – The analysis of the last shard has been transmitted. It's been confirmed that we've contacted one of the Aether Core species. Code name: Spatium Core. And unfortunately, it is incomplete.

At least three types of Aether Core were already known to exist. If it continues like this, it will be only a matter of time before the public learns about this unusual source of energy.

– The next task of the special operation is clear: we must find this fragment before new complications arise.

A new headache didn't seem to be far behind.

After discussing the plan of action, it was decided that starting tomorrow, half of the UNICORNS team would be assigned to different groups to patrol or infiltrate several types of organizations that might have a connection to this case.

***

I sigh and make my way down to the Association's reception box when Simone called out my name. She seemed to be just as stressed by the news as I was, but treated it more... Easily? If I may say so.

Yeah, well, she doesn't have that damn Aether Core in her heart.

I turn around and wait only a couple seconds when she runs up to me and holds out a small craft package.

– The mail came today. You know I ordered so many new things for my research. But along with it they handed over this package. It's got your name on it.

– Yes, thank you. I guess someone just couldn't reach me at home. – The package in my hands was sent from Akso Hospital. Zayne been worrying about me a little too much lately. The modified protocore in my heart is making itself noticeable more and more often, as I told him the last time, I saw my primary care physician.

– Of course. How long have you been sitting here? Four days, maybe. You've already got dark circles under the eyes. Maybe you should get some rest.

– No time, Simone. I promise I'll do what I can today. But you know what I mean.

– Try to go straight to bed. I'll send you a white noise playlist at home, check it out. It might help.

I nodded and turned to leave. Taking a break was a really good idea. There was too much on my plate. I can't deal with wanderers, protocols, EVER sneakiness and investigating at the same time... What's investigating? I don't really know...

My head hurt and the buzzing in my ears was so confusing. What the hell?

The emptiness in my chest again.

What was I investigating? I remember it was some kind of personal matter, but what it was – I don't know.

I look up and goosebumps run down my spine. So far away in the clouds, and seemingly quite close, a bright violet eye appears. It resonates with my heart. Its call grows louder, clearer each time, and the world around me is swallowed up by the force. Everything disappears like in the center of a black hole.

Only dust rising to the sky.

***

– The new colonel arrives today. We must give him the best welcome. Come on.

The recruits have been running errands, and I'm with them.

The Association's assignment was a covert operation called the Ethereal Trial. Over the course of a few days, we quickly and discreetly dealt with some anomalies, and documented new data on the Spatium Core.

Sylus's brief absence provided the impetus for new attacks in the N109 Zone. Xavier's former comrades, with advanced technology, had goals far greater than the ship commander's life. The black crystals that have become Zayne's nightmare in reality are deeply connected to some kind of power and may be part of the tragedy that has consumed our world. And the God of the Seas' power must be unsealed by Rafayel after all these years.

All of these questions are connected by threads into just one entity. And unfortunately, I find myself involved in this chaos.

My mission is to sneak into an organization that may have information on the remaining shard. Farspace Fleet. The action is supposed to be secret, and I'm lucky enough to be on a team of rookies who just graduated from the Air Force Academy.

The story of the explosion at the twins' house made my heart clench, but I didn't understand why. Everything seemed so familiar, yet distant at the same time. But when I tried to put the puzzle together, it fell into the void again and again.

I adjusted my headscarf, part of the uniform that hid the almost black veins that stretched across my chest and neck. I didn't remember how they'd appeared. And especially when they came. I just woke up one morning with no memory of coming home, and the marks were already on my body.

Zayne says it's an Aether Core reaction to some kind of trigger. The pains in my heart were becoming more frequent, and in the week I'd spent in the Fleet barracks, I'd resorted more than once to the medication he'd sent me from Akso.

The energy in the air seemed to have something to do with the Spatium Core. Or at least some other Aether Core, because right now my whole gut was humming like it wanted to burst out.

– Let's wrap it up. It's gonna rain soon. If we don't find more evidence, it'll wash away and we won't be able to continue this investigation.

That commander was in such a hurry. I felt sorry for the girl who ended up in the hospital with a lot of burns. I felt sorry for her brother who went missing in the explosion. That pity echoed in my chest and again caused a hollow feeling in my head as I tried to analyze the situation.

But...

– The colonel's spaceship arrives at the HQ runway in ten minutes. A possible suspect has also come forward. We need to deal with him before the higher–ups arrive.

***

The Farspace Fleet Command Center was located at the very top of Skyhaven's guard station. So many officers and soldiers were gathered here at the moment that it seemed to be not just a meeting of the new Colonel, but a general revelry in the form of a medieval massacre of a criminal.

As the saying goes:

“…iam pridem, ex quo suffragia nulli

vendimus, effudit curas; nam qui dabat olim

imperium, fasces, legiones, omnia, nunc se

continet atque duas tantum res anxius optat,

panem et circenses…”

(... Already long ago, from when we sold our vote to no man, the People have abdicated our duties; for the People who once upon a time handed out military command, high civil office, legions — everything, now restrains itself and anxiously hopes for just two things: bread and circuses.)[1]

– Seal off all entrances and exits. Make sure no one steps off the runway.

Following the captain's order, the entire runway was quickly surrounded by an impenetrable net of soldiers. When somewhere in the distance a rumbling sound was heard.

Under the light of the searchlights, the new fleet colonel that had been talked about so much was coming out of the starship.

He looks so much like someone...

His voice... So familiar.

The crowd blocks my view, and I can only catch a glimpse of the figure through the gaps. But the squeak in my head comes again and knocks me out of it. It makes me want to plug my ears. I don't want to hear that voice, because that's what's causing this reaction.

– Seal off the entire HQ. We have another rat lost in our ranks. – The quiet voice of this unknown colonel came out like a thunderclap. My palms were sweating. How? How did he know? We have to move. Move. Run away. But before I could take a step, I felt like thousands of pounds of some kind of material had descended on my shoulders.

This Evol...

“You're not going anywhere. It's raining outside. Remember when you came home wounded? You went out for candy then, too.”

Gravity. His power is Gravity.

My blood ran cold with the realization.

Him. It's him.

Caleb.

Who... Him?

There's no sound around me. It's like a vacuum. Everything disappears into a black hole. And an intense pain in my chest accompanies my fall.

***

I wake up in a dark room, tied to a chair. I've been caught. They found the traitor. Damn it.

– The colonel will interrogate you. Good luck.

Colonel? Oh, yeah... Right. That obscure one

Too many questions. The buzzing in my head doesn't stop, forcing me to clench my eyes shut. When I open them, I see my figure in the reflection of the one–way glass between the interrogation and observation rooms.

Black strings have appeared on my cheek and no handkerchief can hide it anymore. I stare at that face, not understanding...

– I'm going to start asking questions. Hoping for cooperation.

The voice interrupts my thoughts and I quickly forget what exactly was unclear. The cold air in the interrogation room presses down on me. I take a deep breath and try to calm myself.

– Colonel, I'm just a small fish in a huge sea.

– Can you really be one when you've fooled the entire Fleet? You know what happens to people who pretend to be officers?

– But you brought me here. Either I've done more than that, or I have a secret you're dying to know.

The bright light blinds me as the figure steps inside. Now his voice seems close and so familiar.

– If you understand the situation, let's have a nice chat.

He was saying something. Asked me about Onychinus and the Aether Core. But I couldn't put together a single thought. My heart ached. I wanted to scream. I wanted to fall to the floor and curl up in a little ball. But all I could do is respond:

– I don't know.

The man made me lift my chin and look him in the eye.

– I'll ask again. Did you come to Skyhaven to find out about the Aether Core?

– I'm telling the truth. I don't know anything.

He pulls away from me. And after a moment, that chilling expression changes to a more...kinder one.

– You passed. Surprised? – He stroked my hair and it felt so familiar. – It's been a long time, but you've already managed to forget about me?

When we talk about emptiness, we can consider it as more than just a vacuum. This state can be interpreted as the absence of not only physical objects, but also emotional, social or even spiritual aspects. In this context, emptiness becomes a symbol for a lack of significance or purpose, which can cause us to feel anxious or uncertain.

“Have you asked yourself the most important question: do problems really exist or do you create them yourself? People grasp at their misfortunes just to avoid the emptiness in themselves”[2]

– Forget about you? – I lowered my gaze to the opening flaps that held up my arms and legs. – Am I supposed to know you?

Black veins spread across my face and run through my left eye and eyebrow. It's as if my vision is losing its colors. I get lost in such a vast world, like I'm in some kind of vacuum and the emptiness inside fills my mind, body and soul.

He frowned and reached up to touch my face when I said something I didn't expect:

– Who are you?

And who am I.

[1] (Latin. panem et circenses) – an expression from the 10th satire of the ancient Roman satirical poet Juvenal, used by him to describe the aspirations of the Roman people contemporary to him

[2] Chandra Mohan Jain, better known as Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh from the early seventies and later as Osho, is an Indian religious figure, founder of the mystical teachings of 1931–1990. Preacher of the new sannyasa, expressed in immersion in the world without attachment to it, life–affirmation, renunciation of ego and meditation and leading to total liberation and enlightenment

✩˚｡⋆ Always welcome to your emotions and comments ⋆｡˚✩ ★ See you in the next works! 🌙ElizariSLikA

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nightzskii · 1 year ago

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I'm not deleting every post uugh

★ EDIT: Finally making a new pinned post ❜

SHORT INTRO; Hello! I'm panda/nightskii who alsp goes by maxwell (max for short.) My age will always be in my bio but my birthday is April 6th. I go by he/him and also they/it but I really don't mind just he/him!!! This blog is centered around art or just me reblogging important or self indulging posts! Yoyo ^_^

LONG INTRO UNDER CUT!

AN INTRODUCTION — @nightzskii

Hello, and welcome to my blog!! ^_^ I'm nightzskii [otherwise known as max/maxwell or panda].

— I use other names like Rock, Nini, Len, Craig, and many others that I'll say you can use! I'm a name hoarder, I love names.

☆; My activity on tumblr isn't much, I don't post and when I do it's not really for this blog.. I gotta get used to posting again..??! I might make a blog for all my ocs and characters and their reference sheets. I'll try to respond to mutuals/friends when I can faster than I would with strangers, but sometimes my ability to do such a thing is nonexistent. It's not on any of you!

☆; I'm Black and Puerto Rican! This is what I know because my mom told me. I CANNOT SPEAK OR UNDERSTAND SPANISH!!!?? I can say a few words [only like. two.] and understand SOME phrases, but I lost my ability to understand Spanish since I'm always around people who speak ENGLISH. I do want to relearn however, but I also want to learn Japanese!

☆; I do have disorders that effect(affect??!?) my daily life and how I perceive and understand things. I struggle with some social clues, but I'm not going to force anyone to use tone-tags, I'll just guess and respond!

☆; YOU MAY BE WONDERING WHY PAST POSTS HAVE SYSTEM STUFF IN IT!!! It's because I AM a systsm. I don't use this blog for system stuff anymore however, and I'll be @'ing most blogs I have that's NOT private! Including my altermate's blogs. I am the main host and have been here for the longest!

☆; YOU CAN USE THEY/IT OR ANY OTHER PRONOUNS BESIDE [SHE/HER] ON ME!! I may be seen using he/him for myself, but I'm not that picky on pronouns. I'm agender, and I do NOT care what term is being used for me, including feminine ones! You can call me any word with fems in mind. I don't care.

☆; Any carrds, rentrys, etc I have will be linked/put inna masterlist that I gotta fix. Thank you for your time on this part! edit; hi we have strawpage now

i also have mt personal strawpage here

MY BOUNDARIES — @nightzskii

★; DNI [CHECK STRAWPAGE FOR UPDATED DNI] [pro] Zoos/[No]Maps, Anti Mogai/lgbtqa+phobic, Racist/Colorist, Sexist/Misogynistic, Ableist/Discrimatory, Kink/Nsfw blogs, * Violent Syscourse/[Pro] endos/non traumagenic, [Pro] Ddlg+varients, HARMFUL TransID/Radqueers + anything in that corner, Pro harassment/Pro Misinformation, Villainization + Romanticizing Disorders, Violently religious, GENUINELY WEIRD stans & Fans, Anti age/pet regression. PLEASE DO NOT INTERACT.

* VIOLENT syscourse/[pro] endos/non traumagenic ((Let's not harass or be rude to each other. help.))

★; If you make jokes you can't make [examples being making a joke about being; a black slave when you're white, r//ped (a) when you weren't, m//lest//d (o, e) when you weren't, anything historical when it's not YOUR history] then please DON'T INTERACT EITHER! I can appreciate a "dark joke" when it's something you can actually joke about.

★; If you use AI to steal/generate/etc peoples actual hard working designs, then don't interact. Stay in your cage

★; IF YOU FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE WITH ME OR FEEL UPSET ABOUT WHATEVER I DID/DO/HAVE DONE/ETC, TELL ME! I don't mind talking about it and I'd rather to not strain any friendships if its something that can be talked about!

FINAL NOTES — @nightzskii

☆; I do have old blogs STILL flying about that was WAY BEFORE I FOUND OUT I WAS A SYSTEM! Some of those blogs were made by myself before i "molded" [fused, but I don't know I should use that word???] with the old OLD host at the time who ALSO ran those blogs. OUR VIEWS FROM IT HAVE CHANGED BY NOW! If you find it and link it back to us, feel free to @ the blogs its so funny looking back.

☆; I will NOT talk much about being a system with other disorders on this blog. that's for a different one!!

— BLOGS I'VE MADE! ❜

@dazyskiie-luv [writing] & @nightzskiiauz [my aus/stories]

@bluestoneau & @horrorrversee [au]

@stars4-max & @hoardzskii [personal]

@twisteddescendants & @kufflesdiamond & @huntersscythe [twst]

@kauikia [dandys world]

@moon-loves-genders [have to fix it!!] & @wat-da-hell-iz [inactive currently] & @dabackroms [inactive currently]

@vampbitesfr & @howlin4uu [monster rp accounts, inactive currently! refixing.]

— SYSTEM BLOGS! ❜

@snowdinne [MAIN SYS SIDE BLOG.]

@haruutalks & @cinooscatcafe

@ventifool & @scarafool

@ecplises-mailman & @devildomduzt (all blogs for now!)

#nightzskii draws #starduzt talks —📂#☆☆☆#JULY 5TH. 2024 #max🪐#JULY 10TH. 2024.#max still...

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andnow-werebel · 6 months ago

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First Badge, progress: The Critic.

(... and I'm bending the rules to include film reviews so I get actually get started.)

Film: Gladiator II Art: Scrapbook ★★★☆☆

I was entertained - mostly. This perhaps mostly comes from my own fascination with Ancient Rome - and of course, coming off the back of the sheer magnificence of Gladiator I. My initial thoughts were: Why does this man never talk about anything? Why has this poor woman been given one scene only? Why is Denzel fighting in a river? Is that a shark? So, my review shall follow those points to begin. Let's elaborate. I will not even try to refrain from comparisons with Gladiator I because it triumphs where II falls flat. Maximus (Crowe), is living up to his name - making friends, talking about (or at least dreaming of) his thoughts and fighting for a clear cause. Lucius (Mescal), is brooding, making rash decisions and well, brooding. It's difficult to build a love, or even like, for a character whom you are left guessing with. It is commented on by another fighter 'why would we do that?" when Lucius tries to get them to fight together - but it makes no difference to the way his character acts. He is rewarded in the end with a team of fighters whom he seems to have little relationship with suddenly rising up to protect a place they were sold to as slaves. His wife is dead within 5 minutes and we have lost one of his motives for life. ( I am more than happy with a female archer - but did she have to be the only one? It's very YA film vibes. ) He arrives as a slave and within ten minutes is in the main show in the arena. Something that took Maximus years to build up towards. I would not have minded if the film ran on an extra 30 minutes or so if this meant the story had more meat on its bones. Women were apparently scarce in Rome. I joke, but this is the feeling left behind with Lucilla (Nielson) left to add a feminine perspective. The story felt messy to me around the sending away of Lucius. It read at times like Lucius had forgotten his origins despite being at least 11 during his disappearance. To build on his perspective I was keen to know - how did he feel watching the gladiators upon the royal podium? What were his feelings towards his Mother and Father? Instead we received two scenes of him fleeing which would translate better as a telling rather than showing. The scene within the jail cell felt flat and not fleshed out enough to stir up many emotions. And so, this man goes from seething with hatred for Rome to flipping his approach on a dime. It was unclear what the final straw was for this as Lucius barely spoke to others. Perhaps if we had a little more build up and backstory form Macrinus (Washington) earlier on, followed by his lean towards evil this could have become a push for Lucius earlier on to 'be the lesser evil'. Why are they fighting in a lake? Who told the entire armies to pause and watch these two flap about and then hooray, we can all go home. I felt we needed to see more of this rotting Rome to sway Lucius's decision towards taking his rightful place. The dichotomy of choice needed to be a stronger theme. I enjoyed the dynamic of General Acacius (Pascal) as the begrudging pawn of the Empire and would have liked to see a little more of this. I felt there was a better opportunity here for Lucius to learn more of the corruption earlier on in the film. Perhaps a talk before the speech would have added weight to Acacius's speech in the arena. Is that a shark? Yes. Yes it is a shark. So, I will end my review with some positives to lighten the mood. I enjoyed the grand spectacle of the colosseum and Rome. I am glad to have seen it in the cinema to appreciate the experience of immersion. Denzel gave a great performance as Macrinus and I did enjoy the dynamic between the Emperor twins.

#gladiator 2 #rebel badge book #rebel badge club #trying my hand at a review / critic!#review #scrapbook art #scrapbooking #craft

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doublebattled · 4 months ago

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"If you got a legendary pal and had your life ruined by an evil old man then I'm adopting you. You're my little sibling now. And if anyone fucks with you, I'll beat their ass."

#black lightning ★ { ic: hilda. }#life goes on... i guess ★ { main. }#I can't even call this Crack. She is like this. Genuinely.#collecting all the protags younger than her

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doublebattled · 3 months ago

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"Now that's a good one! I'm gonna keep that one in mind." Reshiram deserves a little vindication too.

"Simple solution. Dragon Pulse, point blank range. "

#life goes on... i guess ★ { main. }#eranthiss #white fire ★ { ic: hilbert. }

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yuqiyu · 2 years ago

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Guitar Lessons pt.2 (Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader)

♡ part 2 to Guitar Lessons.

*CAN BE READ INDEPENDENTLY

Summary: After getting guitar lessons from Eddie and things escalating, you ghost him for a week. You come back to apologize.

Word Count: 3.8k

Warnings: 18+ NSFW MDNI, oral, penetration, no protection

Tags: no use of y/n, slight angst, fluff, pet names (princess, sweetheart, baby), dom!Eddie

｡☆✼★━━━━━━━━━━━━★✼☆｡

Eddie swears he’s been hard since the last time he felt you palm him through his jeans. If he had been completely honest, he would’ve loved to take you right then, looking at how you were splayed out on his bedsheets.

God, you were breathtaking.

But then again, it had been easy to hold back. It was enough for him to watch you sleep peacefully in his room, curling your messy head into his pillow and leaving a sweet scent. For just a moment, he could pretend that you were actually still there.

You had left his house before he even woke up, without a single word. Then you didn’t even call him. He couldn’t blame you. He hadn’t even tried to reach out to you because he was afraid.

So, for the next few nights, instead of calling you, he’d lie down on his bed and close his eyes. He’d remember the way you squeezed around his fingers. How your brows furrowed as your mouth hung agape, drowning in the pleasure he gave you. He could get lost in the maze of his mind, forever running after you. It was his safe place; he didn’t have to worry about rejection in real life.

He couldn’t forget what you had said, no matter what he did. Boyfriend. The way you whined it to him brought him shivers every single damn time. He hadn’t even thought that you could’ve said such sweet words because you were caught up in the moment. He didn’t like thinking about it, especially because he meant every word uttered to you. The time spent in his mind became a game of push and pull. He hung on every pleasure the thought of you brought him, but every time you popped up, it meant dealing with the inevitable.

He palms his erection through his jeans, trying to imitate the way you had done it. He hisses and throws his head back. It isn’t the same.

He sighs, then reaches inside one of the drawers and pulls out a pack of backup cigarettes. His main pack was probably haphazardly thrown somewhere on the floor of his room, and he just couldn’t be bothered to look right now. Before he can light it up, a couple of knocks on his door pull him out of his haze.

He doesn’t say a single word. The door opens slowly as you peek inside the room. He can see only your head as you smile at him sheepishly.

“Hey, Eddie.”

He puts the cigarette back in the pack, then looks at you as he sticks his hands in his pocket. He was glad to see you again, but a part of him was still slightly hurt that you left so quickly.

You go to drop your bag on the ground next to his bed as you had often done before. He watches as you bend over, your shirt riding up ever so slightly and showing off the small of your back.

You look and smell intoxicating; it’s dizzying. He hated that your mere presence was enough to comfort him. When he goes to speak, the look on your face stops him.

You’re looking directly at his groin, bottom lip tucked so prettily under your teeth. Fuck. He looks down at the large tent that betrayed him.

“Where have you been?” he asks, voice raspy.

Your lips purse and you furrow your brows, then shake your head. You get up and walk towards him, putting your hands on his chest. “I’ve been busy, I guess. But I’m not anymore.”

He takes a step back with his hands up, like touching you burned him.

“What’s wrong?” you say, pulling back quickly.

He throws his fists in the air and laughs bitterly before continuing, “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but…what are we?”

You gaze into his eyes for a second, trying to figure out if he was joking or not. A nervous laugh comes out of you. “What do you mean?”

He watches as you toy with the cuffs of your shirt in uneasiness. “I like you,” he whispers, then takes a deep breath. “I like you—a fucking lot, actually.”

“I know,” you whisper back, smiling softly, afraid of speaking too loud.

“So…do you?”

“...Yeah, of course, I do.”

“Why did you leave?”

“I don’t know,” you say, shrugging. You shift on your feet, and he raises his brows.

“Look,” he says, putting his hands out in front of him, almost like a barrier. “I can’t do this if you’re not into this as much as I am.”

You step closer, but he backs up again. Eddie knows he’s setting himself up for heartbreak. But if there’s anything he’s sure of in his life, it’s you. And if he can’t have all of you, then he’d rather have none of you even if every single part of him screams for you.

He’s looking at you expectantly, waiting for you to tear his heart out, yet still hopeful that you also want him as much as he wants you.

“I’m scared,” you finally say, and you mean it. A chuckle falls from your lips and he can’t help but stare. “I like you…a fucking lot, too. But what if things don’t work out? What if we become strangers? I’d still want you in my life even if I never got the chance to be with you.”

Eddie softens, then reaches out and tucks a strand of hair before your ear. He pulls you in close, taking in the sweet scent of your shampoo as he closes his eyes. He can feel your heart racing against him, and it makes him want to protect you even if it means destroying the world.

“You make me sound like a selfish jerk,” he chuckles, playing with your hair. He feels content at this moment, here, with you in his arms. But it’ll never be enough, and he thinks he’s asking for too much. “I…can’t promise forever to you—who knows, maybe you’ll never want to see my stupid face again. And I wouldn’t blame you one bit.”

You whine a little noooo into his chest, causing him to bubble up with laughter and push you out at arm’s length as he unabashedly checks you out.

“I meant what I said, y’know, and—and I know this is a lot for you to think about so—”

“Okay, I want this.”

“What?” he asks incredulously.

“I was selfish for leaving you high and dry like that. No pun intended,” you say as he snorts. “But I don’t want just this part of you. I want all of you. I’m sorry, Eddie. I shouldn’t have run away. You are the best thing that’s happened to me.”

Eddie kisses you square on the lips. It’s hungry and passionate as if he’s trying to swallow you whole. You lean into him and allow him to explore your mouth as your tongues dance in tandem with one another. He slowly inches you towards his bed until it hits the back of your knees and you fall back, watching lustfully as he peels off his shirt. You bite your lip subconsciously, which causes him to groan and anticipate what comes next.

“What, no guitar lessons today?” you question coyly.

“No, princess,” he whispers, his voice low and deadly. “You caught me on my day off.” He pulls your clothes off swiftly with your aid, and you release a giggle as his fingertips tickle your sides, barely ghosting your skin. Goosebumps rise from your arms, your body firing up with thirst and excitement.

He begins to run his mouth down your jaw and neck, idly nibbling on the sweet spot of your skin. It takes everything inside of you to stop him, and when he comes up with slightly swollen, wet lips, you feel like you could pass away. His wide eyes stare at you, and you don’t miss the way it sparkles with hunger.

“Flip over, Eddie,” you command, moving to push him down.

“What? Why—oh.”

Looking down at you, chin tucked firmly to his chest, he beholds the sight of your stripped form working on his belt. Your breasts glide over his clothed thigh and all he could think about now was how your nipple would feel brushing against him bare.

You’re able to quickly remove the garment, tossing it to the side, eyes focused on the tent of his boxers. You glide your palms over his thighs and lick your lips while you think about every dirty little thing you want to do to him—and he knows it. He squeezes his eyes shut as he groans in frustration.

“Stop fucking teasing me already.”

Your fingers move under the fabric and stroke the shaft deftly, giving him a small taste of what’s coming. He squirms under your touch, his feet flexing from the pleasure. His hips are humping the air erratically, frantically looking for your hands again.

“Patience, sweet boy, I’ll get to it.”

“‘S Been a week, I can’t wait any longer, princess.” He feels as if he’s about to implode with every second that passes without your touch. But it doesn’t take long for you to finally cave in and give him exactly what he needs.

“Shit, Eddie, you’re…big,” you murmur in awe.

“Yeah? That’s all for you, baby. Now, please.”

“Aw, you’re so cute when you beg,” you say. Your head ducks down as you concentrate on just his tip, working your tongue around the edges and giving some love swipes to the top from time to time. You let your saliva dribble down his shaft as you rotate your head in a circular motion, bobbing him to sensitivity.

When your gaze moves up to his face, you notice his arms gripping the sheets as veins pop out from his forearms. He wants to look at you, but the pleasure has his eyes half-lidded and completely out of his mind.

You were just getting started.

Your strokes don’t stop as you slowly move his shaft away from your face, giving you full access to his balls. You give an experimental lick. His flexed legs jolt, your smirk pressing against him.

“O-oh shit, fuck,” he drawls, becoming music to your ears. You continue suckling his skin, your fingers covering whatever your mouth can’t. It’s difficult to stop—you can’t help but bob greedily, swallowing him hole and feeling his tip hit the back of your throat. You pop your mouth off of him.

“How does it feel, baby? Talk to me.” Your voice sends vibrations through his core, sending him close to the edge.

He sputters incoherently while you work your magic touches on him. It has you feeling proud of yourself, knowing that you can turn him into jelly.

“You feel so—so fucking good, shit, princess,” he moans. “God, I’m so close, just like that, please!”

You begin sucking harder. Your hand holds down his tense thigh as the other one continues stroking at record speed. He’s fucking straight into your mouth, and you try your best not to gag as each thrust hits your uvula.

“F-fuck, don’t stop, I’m gonna—”

Eddie’s cum shoots straight into your mouth as he screams your name, hips still bucking into you. You struggle to swallow it, with some dribbling out the corner of your mouth. Once he finishes riding out his high, chest heaving heavily, he looks up to check on you. Beads of sweat are trickling down his forehead, falling onto his forearms that are propping him up. You smile at him, licking your lips.

“Oh, fuck me,” he growls, taking in the sight of his cum dripping down your chin, to your neck, and then your chest. Eddie can feel himself getting hard again, looking darkly at you sticking your tongue out playfully. He presses a chaste kiss to the corner of your mouth.

Before you can do anything, he grabs you by the waist and throws you down on his bed, making sure to give your ass a firm squeeze. His mouth is all over yours in seconds, and you wrap your arms around his neck and pull him in closer. All you can smell is the intoxicating haze of sex mixed with Eddie’s natural woodsy musk. He lets go for a second just to look into your eyes. Your heart skips a beat, and you suddenly feel shy. He’s looking so tenderly at you, his gaze roaming all over your face. He runs his thumb over the underside of your jaw, taking in the way you look back at him. You reciprocate, putting both your hands on his face and pulling him close, allowing you to kiss him passionately. He inhales you in, and you wrap your legs around his torso, shuddering at his cock rubbing up against your mound. You start rutting against him instinctually, wetting him with your juices. His hand slides to your thigh, running it up and down.

“I need you inside me now,” you whine unabashedly in his ear. He leans down to peck you on your forehead and smiles.

“You sure you’re ready for me, sweetheart?”

“Yes, Eddie, please, I want you so, so bad,” your voice cries out, and he all but loses any composure he has left.

“That’s what I like to hear,” he says, head leaning to the side as his eyes crinkle into a dopey smile. “But I’m feeling a little bit selfish today.” He dips his head between your legs, arms keeping your thighs apart. His teeth graze your inner thigh, then he bites cheekily down into the plump flesh right next to your opening. You gasp, craning your neck to watch him grin at you before diving down. The pleasure overrides your system within a millisecond, leaving you with an arched back and labored breaths.

“Wait, s-stop—” you say, pushing yourself away from him. He pops back up, your wetness already smeared all over his lips.

“What’s wrong?” He looks so innocent. Big brown eyes hit you like a semi-truck and for a second, you think about how lucky you are. You shift your legs, lining them up at the sides of his face, and squish his cheeks with your knees.

“Aren’t you tired? You already—well, y’know,” you say, waving your hands frenziedly.

“Tired of what?” he blinks innocently, playing into a facade, but you know he just wants you to say it. You squirm away, feeling embarrassed. Eddie doesn’t let you, though, and he holds a firm hand over your thigh. “I won’t do anything you don’t want me to, sweetheart, but you need to use your words, okay?”

“You already made me cum last time,” you reply, your face beet red. “Don’t you want to fuck me instead?”

His face breaks out into a soft smile. “Of course I do. However…since you left me high and dry the last time we did this, I’ve gotten thirsty.” He wastes no time and gets straight to work. He holds your legs spread wide apart and wastes no time sticking his tongue deep into your pussy. Compared to the soft lingering touches before, Eddie works a little bit more roughly this time. He still remembers where your sweet spots are, reaching you close to your climax in a shorter amount of time. You can tell he’s slowly losing his patience through how you see his hips bucking as he eats you out.

Your whiny moans egg him on. It fuels his ego and his throbbing cock as he jerks against the mattress. Your wetness is smeared around your inner thighs, causing Eddie to lose his grip on your legs occasionally as you squirm against his hot mouth. The sloppy sounds he makes are so lewd that it makes you clench around his darting tongue, never leaving a single part of your folds unattended. It doesn’t take long for your body to shake uncontrollably as he helps you ride out your high.

Eddie’s lust-filled eyes meet yours, his tongue flitting out to lick up all the remaining juices left around your slit. The sensitivity is overpowering and leaves you trembling. He loves watching the way it still clenches over nothing, its speed slowing down. His lips pucker into a small opening, and he blows softly over you. The skin glistens as you jerk back and squeak out, “Eddie!” with both eyes squeezed shut. You open them back up when you feel the edge of the bed sink, watching him crawl up towards you.

“That was…scrumptious,” he drawls, sticking his tongue out for you to see. You spot a little dribble at his jaw.

“Oh, you missed a spot,” you say, reaching over and licking a fat stripe up his jawline from his chin. When you get to it, you give a little suckle, tasting a piece of yourself. You feel him gulp. With your lips pressed to the curve between his jaw and ear, you whisper. “Won’t you just fuck me already?”

“Full of energy today, huh?” he observes with a quiver in his voice, tapping a finger on the tip of your nose. “And so, so demanding, too.” You pout at his reaction, slightly disappointed because you thought he would be more eager to take you. He notices, and his features transform from teasing to pure lust within a millisecond.

With one swift motion, he pushes himself all the way inside. You yelp out in surprise, gripping his sheets for dear life. The wind is knocked out of your lungs and your back arches, attempting to adjust to his girth. He gives a slow experimental thrust, watching your face struggle to keep up. A sadistic part of him likes knowing that he’s big enough to give you a run for your money, so he wriggles a little bit inside of you, just to remind you how much of him you need to take in.

“C’mon, you’re my good girl, aren’t you? You’re taking me in so well,” he breathes, thrusting at a more consistent pace, though still slow. Eventually, the discomfort begins pleasure coursing through your body. Eddie admires the way your face contorts, then leans down to suckle on your neck as he increases the speed of his movements. His hands keep busy on your body, running over the slope of your breasts and nipples. They map out every curve and angle, inking them into memories upon his fingertips.

“You feel so good,” you moan. “Keep touching me like that.” Your hands reach out and grip his back, feeling his muscles flex under your touch.

He laughs. “Do you feel how fucking hard my cock is inside you? You take me so well, shit, princess.” When you don’t reply, his thrusts slow down to a stop, the head of his member throbbing inside your core. You wiggle your hips to feel any friction you can, but it isn’t enough.

“Eddie, what the fuck are you doing?”

“I don’t take kindly to being ignored, y’know.”

He flips you over in an instant, pulling your ass up and causing you to stuff your face in his pillow. Your murmur into it incoherently as he pushes back inside, making sure to pull your hips back against him with each thrust. There’s momentum within each of his moves now, and you feel your body rock. You use all your energy to push up on your forearms, then cry out as you try to push back against him with every thrust.

“Well, sweetheart? Can you feel how fucking hard my cock is inside you now?”

“Y-yes! Fuck, that’s it, right there, please, baby,” you whimper, feeling your muscles fail you. Your body falls limply, keeping your back arched. Eddie supports your body, leaning over to run his hands over your breasts as he pushes himself in deeper.

“Let me hear those pretty moans a little louder,” he grunts. “Nobody’s home, you’re all mine, baby.” You release a guttural moan once he finds your sweet spot, and he smirks in response. He reaches over and pulls your body up so that your back is pressed up against him deliciously, chest heaving. He pulls your hair to the side and presses his lips to the side of your neck, exhaling in bliss as you run your fingers through his hair behind you.

“Fuck, you’re so deep inside of me—y-you feel so good.”

“You sound so cute when you’re fucked out like this,” he laughs. “I’m the only one who gets to see you like this, yeah?”

“Only you, Eddie,” you sigh.

“Say my name again.”

“E-Eddie,” you say, your voice muffled against the sheets. He can see your chest heaving against his bed, your hair splayed out messily. A smug look spreads across his face, hips moving at a languid rate.

“I know you can do better than that.”

You muster all the energy you could to scream his name. He rewards you by burying himself deeper, faster, and rougher plunges into you. The head of his cock hits your g-spot perfectly, and you hear your voice echo off the walls as the room fills with the sounds of Eddie’s bed creaking and the lewd slamming of skin on skin.

“Shit, you know how hard you make me?” he pants, giving your asscheek a loving squeeze. “I’ve wanted to do this for so long. Every fucking time you come over here and strut in your slutty shorts. Fuck me!”

You wiggle your backside, clenching down on him and causing him to growl in satisfaction. “I wore them for you.”

“Is that right? What a fucking tease. Gotta make sure you wear them only for me from now on, right, princess?”

“Y-yes, only for you…oh fuck, I’m gonna cum, Eddie!”

“Mmm, cum for me, shit, cum on my cock!”

He feels your warmth clenching down hard on his cock, getting him closer to his own climax as well. The wet noises bring you both over the edge as he talks you down.

“That’s it, that’s my girl, atta girl. You’re doing so good for me, god, I’m so fucking lucky to have you.” His hips are still jerking into you as he unloads his hot seed inside you. You can feel it warm you up and drip out of your hole. Eddie presses a deep and passionate kiss on your lips, then flops to the side and pulls you into his chest as he nuzzles his head into your chest.

You run a hand through his head and peck his forehead. “I should’ve done this way sooner.”

“You realized just now?” He bites your shoulder playfully.

“I—I guess I just didn’t think you’d want to. I’m not narcissistic enough to think everyone likes me like that,” you say wistfully, chuckling. Eddie shuffles up and looks at you seriously.

“Everyone adores you,” he says, brushing your hair out of your face. You blink.

“Sounds like some personal bias.”

He reaches out and holds your chin, examining your face. “I wouldn’t be too sure about that. Pretty, smart, and funny, but bratty and annoying sometimes, too. That’s what I call duality. But you’re right. Maybe I’m just crazy in love with you.” He shrugs.

“You’re in love with me?” Your eyes begin to flutter close, unable to fight against the sleep.

“Good night, princess. I love you.”

#eddie munson smut #eddie munson #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #stranger things smut

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