#liios: wins

[meowww-ffxiv]

Before they left for Ultima Thule, Ptolemy, Liios's younger brother, told him calmly it was going to be fine because if they were going into a nest made of pure dynamis, then in theory it would be a battle of will. And Liios was Freaking Out because he was a scientist and how could we counter something we cannot quantify?!

Ptolemy said, "Do you remember, when we were younger, you used to agitate an older student so much that he came down with a fever because no matter how thorough or clever his rebuttals, you would simply say, 'No you are wrong'?"

"Why are you bringing that up? I did apologize," Liios replied.

"Because you've always been the same person. You have gotten better and wiser on compromises, but the hills you choose to die on are littered with the bodies of those who think they can defeat your conviction with something as trifling as 'facts'," Ptolemy said. "It is more puzzling to me why you're worried about dynamis all of a sudden when you've outlived an innumerable amount of stupid arguments by simply saying 'I don't care, I'm right.'"

"But that's not the same as going to face a creature made of pure despair!"

"But is she, my brother? Was she made of despair, or had she simply fallen to it? You yourself told me of the hope her creator put into her, when he sent her to the stars. If she was a creature made and not born, isn't it possible that the core of her hasn't changed, after all these millennia? Even at the bottom of the Sea of Souls, Amon struggled with the nihilism he had apparently arrived at."

Ptolemy told Liios, "The reasonable, rational choice when it came to me would have been for you to let me die there in our homeland, and bury me, and grieve, and move on. Yet you severed yourself from our home, went against everything you had ever known, to carry me away for the chance that something or someone could save me.

"I wouldn't have hated you, if you had not taken me away to Old Sharlayan. In death I would have been beyond pain, beyond suffering. But in life I am greater and so are you. We were afforded the chance to meet better people, become better people ourselves. You seem to forget, but you saved more lives than you give yourself credit for." Ptolemy looked at him. "Now, setting forth to save everyone, is it even possible for you to fail?"

No. Of course not.

"I want to ask you something, beg you for something," Ptolemy said.

"Of course. Anything," Liios replied.

"I want to live. I want this star to live on, and you to come back to me."

"Yes, I can do that," Liios said.

"And on the way home, please make the Loporrits map the stars for me. This might be the one and only chance we get of being able to see the universe this close up."

"Yes."

"Will my request suffice as a protective charm, for the road?"

"It's a grocery list."

"It is not. But if you want to call it that, fine, be sure to grab some stellar rock samples for me, too. And cuttings of any plants you think might survive the journey."

(It was a GREAT charm for the road.)

[villainship]

[SWTOR OC challenge: R - Day 8]

[15-day Q&A] [Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4] [Part 5] [Part 6] [Part 7]

8. Romances. A companion? An NPC? One of your OCs? Someone else’s? Nobody? Explain!

- Tarskal - As featured on this blog overall: TD <3 Cianna. (There’s a whole tag for it.) . . .OTHER than that, Tarskal has been very active in the seducing of all sorts of people. All over. All the time. Doesn’t change his way of life just b/c he picked a favorite. In fact, while things were starting up with Cianna he was also enjoying spending time with his new pal Vette, which turned into a thing that went on a very long time. She eventually realized she was forming her own identity for herself, and his ideas didn’t line up with it--nor did she want to be increasingly bumped to the backseat behind Cianna. She and Cianna had learned to be friends, but Vette dumps TD and leaves eventually. (Their tag. hehhehh) Keran & Adijjah are examples of ppl whose company he enjoys enough for booty calls, but. Like. Doesn’t qualify as “romantic”. At some point into his tenure as Emperor’s Wrath (probably?? My timeline is not well-established) he also ends up in a persistent relationship with Zahied, a jaded, middle-aged dude on the enemy side of the battlefield. By that time TD is also a bit older, married, and has a kid like 6 years old or so. He & the Republic officer don’t see this as a romance (at all) either. It’s not. But they do have an Understanding (mostly unacknowledged) that makes it. . . a little more like a partnership than JUST a “hate-fling” that turned into a long-term benefits-related arrangement.

- Kirryl - She’s been on the flirt with Dani’s Zet’nuri (fun & lovely green twi’lek who does some less-than-legal business). That’s more of a casual nice time for them, and Kirryl isn’t one to catch feelings--most of the time. 8O Somewhat earlier in her life, she got. . . Almost. . . emotionally wrapped-up with a SITH. Liio definitely got it bad for her, but things couldn’t stay the way they were & the conflict of circumstances (not to mention values) separated them before they worked out what to do about their chemistry/connection.

- Arameis - His view was that JEDI DON’T DO ROMANCE. But his heart is too soft, and Adijjah is too soft, and he has himself a problem. He tries to pretend for quite a while that it’s OK if they’re only friends and she keeps meeting other people. . . .He can’t pretend forever that he’s succeeded in maintaining detachment. \8)

- Kallir - He was with a fellow cadet in Intelligence’s alien agent program when he was younger. Kallir may or may not have started to think it was going to be an actual relationship, but the other young man (”Yan” the twi’lek) was actually a terrible person. It got very unhealthy. Absolutely miserable times for a small pumpkin. When he worked with Sanju Pyne on Balmorra he had some real. . . /Pining/. . . feelings. X) But he never told him. Tried to move on quickly as he could. Kallir was very lonely, on a whole, until he and Keran ended up meeting at work on Dromund Kaas. He had some in-house/desk-job spy tasks, and Keran was an apprentice with chores around the citadel. Keran is the flirty one who started it. They went out on a date, then some more dates. . . basically with casual intent. One or the other of them was often away for work, which kept them apart. But they continued seeing each other when they could, started to really WANT to see each other more, and generally got closer & more into each other over time. Until finally Kallir needed to ask if Keran saw him as his. . . boyfriend?! Dumb Keran didn’t think to tell him earlier in those words. ^3^ (Their tag~)

(Bonus)

- Elenir - We haven’t done much to feature them because Troopers aren’t our area of interest, but Dani & I ship ours. Elenir is cyborg lesbian, & Kaashla (whose name I can’t even spell??) is a lovely purple togruta. Both have big muscles & big guns (literal guns), and are loyal soldiers of the Republic. Also a headcanon I had previously: Elenir having a crush on Shae Vizla.

- Lyir - Before Arameis can come to terms with liking a girl, Lyir and Adijjah probably gonna have a cute fling. Lyir is very outgoing and cuddle-happy. (He will still win over Arameis as a friend despite confused-Jedi jealousy.) - Xerzen - He’s Ashara’s future cat husbando. 8]

- Ziore - [Miraluka Jedi Guardian] When SWTOR gave me 2 free companions for all my characters to have, I got Shae and Nico Okarr without knowing ANYTHING about either of them. Thus I ship Ziore and Nico based on nothing else except his cheesy lines when he’s summoned/does stuff for you as a companion. - Huraj - [Zabrak Sith Sorcerer] . . . I didn’t mean for her and Khem to be coordinated colors for shipping reasons. It was just going to be innocently cute that he has the red customization and she’s a red-skinned zabrak. But. Then they came out with that new content and. I guess it’s going to be a thing.

[meowww-ffxiv]

As Liios's health worsened and became more erratic, Estinien had only grown more protective of him, which was perfectly normal. They wouldn't acknowledge it in so many words, but what they had was quite serious by now.

What was funny was that somehow this had put Estinien in oblivious competition with both Alisaie and Liios's contracted voidsent, Maires. And he was winning by virtue of being himself.

Alisaie was ALSO protective of Liios, but was forever viewed as "old friend's grandchild" and not only that, young. Liios was never straightforward to her about his health, and likely would never be. Which was to say, he would LIE to her face about feeling like shit as a habit. And it VEXED her because she technically had known him longer than Estinien!

The voidsent on the other hand was every typical knight character with a maiden from FromSoft franchises. And he would like to know who the fuck this godless peasant thought he was, that he was acting like Maires was somehow the danger to his liege and not the other way around. He wasn't strong enough to fight Estinien, though, and was more often than not in a floating Allagan orb just enjoying his time being mildly spoiled by Liios, so his revenges were petty and included a lot of sulking.

Estinien, meanwhile, had no idea that there was a competition or that he was winning.

[meowww-ffxiv]

Dawntrail spoilers.

.

After Liios collapsed following the battle with Zoraal Ja, he woke up feeling like he was on his deathbed. Which was one thing. Erenville also came and snapped at him, "How could you do that to your brother? You almost died in front of him." Which, brat. But Liios didn't hold it against him.

And THEN Alphinaud and Alisaie came in, and they had a civil conversation for all of two minutes where Alphinaud updated the still-mildly delirious Liios about everything that had transpired since -- Zoraal Ja's death, Wuk Lamat taking Gulool Ja to Tulliyolal to visit Koana, Y'shtola and their friends working to secure a way to follow Sphene (Liios had been out for almost four days) -- when Alisaie interrupted, "Why is it that every time we find out something is wrong with you, it's after it has already come and bitten you in the arse?!"

If Liios wasn't feeling like shit, he could've probably mustered up a smile. Maybe some empty platitudes that would make her so mad she leave the room and refuse to talk to him again for a month. That'd be nice, wouldn't it.

But he was in pain. Worse yet, he was having to deal with the dawning realization that he might very well be running out of time. You can fix a lot of what went wrong in a body, but not a defect and not a heart defect.

So he was, for once, honest. "It doesn't change the outcome," Liios told them.

"What outcome?! Did you even have a plan?"

"The outcome," he gritted out, "that I need to be in that battle."

There was a moment of frosty silence before Alphinaud said quietly, "You are wrong. You did not have to risk your life. We could have managed."

"Winning is one thing. Winning without loss is another," Liios replied. "Can you look me in the eye and say that my presence affected nothing?"

They couldn't. Of course they couldn't. Liios still was the most skilled at fighting among them, on par with Estinien, if not better. And they knew he didn't just mean Zoraal Ja; he meant all the rest of the time too.

The silence was bitter. Unwell as he was, Liios felt that too, so he added, "A worn blade has little use kept out of battle. Better to wield it till the end."

"But you aren't a blade! You aren't a thing! Are you dense?!" Alisaie snapped at him. "You're-- You're our friend!"

"I am your Warrior of Light," Liios replied wearily.

...He could have broken a panel of glass over both of the children's head and it would have hurt them less, the way they looked at him afterward. Liios realized belatedly that he'd gone and said the absolute wrong thing yet again, but before he could claw back enough consciousness from his fever to try and fix the mistake, the doors opened to another group of visitors.

And the twins were sank into the background and Liios spent the rest of his remaining energy briefing G'raha on how to use the devices he had strewn about, to better assist mass healing should they need help securing Solution Nine. After that, he fell asleep, and woke to Y'shtola saying they were ready to pursue Sphene.

It was hell of a fight, him vs. all the Scions (rather unfair, that) to let him come with. But Liios asked them very bluntly if any of them knew how tech worked better than he did. None, of course. So he went.

And the twins were left on this side of the barrier...

Thankfully everything ended really well, or as well as it could. The final fight needing only Liios's soul spared his body from any further stress, and Living Memory taxed him not at all, though it was a very strained time between himself and Ptolemy, who had also insisted on coming along.

But talking to Ptolemy was far easier than fixing what he'd broken with Alphinaud and Alisaie.

Especially because Liios had no idea what, exactly, he had broken. He didn't feel like it was trust... or at least nothing different than before where they found his new and much reduced limits the hard way. Liios only knew that whatever he said had deeply, deeply wounded them.

Because both of the twins hadn't spoken a word to him that wasn't a group conversation since then, and usually Alphinaud and Alisaie loved talking to him about anything under the sun.

Liios was THIS close to calling up Ameliance to ask for advice. But he should probably ask G'raha first. But he also should try to figure out himself, right? Or ask Alphinaud and Alisaie directly.

He hadn't figured out how to deal with it yet.

So now, one month and two weeks after they'd wrapped up with Dawntrail, he was still in limbo.

[meowww-ffxiv]

When Liios said, "I'm workshopping an idea", it could either be a new bazooka or a new device that could detect the aetherial level of an individual's soul and spit out a measurement of malign aetheric concentration by cubic ilm. Data he used to develop a quantitative theory on how much aether the average soul could take before it began to decay or warp.

He'd been working on the latter for a year and a half, actually. In a way, Liios was both traumatized by what happened to him on the First and obsessed with the mechanisms of that trauma. He was a scientist, and so was driven to understand the cold facts and logic behind the event that nearly killed him in every way that mattered, because he hoped -- in vain? -- that doing so would...

Would defang it. Defang the terror. Defang the nightmares and flashbacks and midnight panic attacks that kept Estinien up just to soothe him. Turn the Light's invasion of his body into an observable event rather than something that happened to him. Make it less personal, you know?

Liios knew it wasn't going to work all that well. He felt the same kind of detachment, and had once scorned it, from his fellow Sharlayan scholars as their agents and travelers and gleaners brought news from occupied territories. How Garlemald massacred and enslaved and desecrated. Kept at a distance, every horror could be reduced to mere events, digestible to the weak stomach of scholars and pundits.

Turned Liios into the biggest hypocrite of all, to employ the same tactics when he couldn't fully comprehend the horror of the First, of what it truly was -- the one pocket of life remaining in a barren, infertile world. Where residents were made all the worse for their survival, as all the malnutrition and difficulty of planting varied flora showed. Not just what happened to Liios via the Lightwarden, but the world itself, too.

Liios couldn't say that there was much improvement to his brain, tackling and trying to unpack the...the First foray like this. But the things that grew out of the soil of his agony? Yeah, they were almost good enough that he was satisfied. That he could believe that this did not happen in vain.

Ryne and Gaia were continuing their work to revitalize the First. The same principles were shared with Zero, for the Thirteenth. Alongside Thavnair's alchemists, Liios developed the warding scales further, creating entire barrier fields where they'd be shielded from influence of malign aether -- especially important in conservation of highly sensitive plants and crops, and hopefully to later guard from bad weather.

All of the hands-on research from helping the First grow a larger ecosystem of living things and infrastructure that Liios had done, were follow-ups on the work he'd already done for fledgling Labyrinthos. All that combined work will now go towards Yyasulani.

The merit of the work that came out of his scars... it wasn't that Liios thought they were praiseworthy or that he was proud of them. But rather that he was relieved. He was relieved that there WAS merit, that the merit was huge enough that he could cling onto that for comfort when his body -- the machine with the greatest flaw, the biological flesh-and-blood nuisance that housed his mind and soul, that had still endured all the abuse he and everyone subjected it to -- inevitably failed him.

But sometimes that comfort waned. Especially when Liios strayed too close to even close calls. So now he acted out. Now he wanted the merit of his results to grow even further. He needed it to because he felt he was going to die soon.

He risked himself to participate in the Arcadion in Solution 9 because he told himself he needed more data on how soul merging, how the entire economy and structure of Alexandria, worked. But really, it was also because Liios liked fighting. Fighting and winning and not passing out afterwards kept the demons at bay. Some delusions of not being sick? Some power fantasy about still being okay when you really weren't?

Liios: I'm going to study myself under a microscope. 😋

Liios 2 minutes later: lol I don't like this.

[meowww-ffxiv]

Liios used to hate looking at his own reflection...even though he didn't mind Ptolemy, his identical twin, at all. And then certain things happened where he went and had a Voidsent Silent Hill run in his place of origins post 6.0, after which he cut his hair "for a change".

It should be noted that everyone in that village wore their hair the same way -- long and loose, decorated with griffon feathers.

Now the feathers were gone and so was the long hair. And Liios suddenly didn't mind his own reflection that much anymore. He felt it bearable to look at himself in the mirror.

Estinien: I felt the same about a helmet.

Liios: Interesting. Why is mortal psyche so fragile?

Estinien: Strange thing for the one who saved the universe from despair incarnate to say.

Liios: It's easy to win battles of will when you aren't fighting yourself.

[meowww-ffxiv]

Endwalker almost completed for Liios. Well, at least the 6.0

He just gotta win at sex against Zenos to see his man again. No problem.

[meowww-ffxiv]

I was too busy crying rivers of tears after the first Hydaelyn trial ever.

Forgot about the 24 hours of downtime they gave the WoL afterwards.

Liios spent it with Ptolemy because of course he did. And most of it went like this.

Liios: *head between knees* I gassed myself up in front of Hydaelyn and now I think I'm going to throw up.

Ptolemy: Well, were you lying?

Liios: No. I meant everything I said. We will find Meteion and stop these Final Days. But it's terrifying. I'm terrified.

Ptolemy: There, there. Get it out of your system. At least you're telling me how you really feel these days and not hiding it in someone's bosom like you had gotten so fond of doing.

Liios: We're fighting an unquantifiable type of energy and you're THIS blithe about it? Q_Q

Ptolemy: Yes. Because you are going to face despair incarnate to save me. By that situation alone, you're extremely unlikely to fail, because you will refuse to. And while we can't always change circumstances, in a space of pure dynamis, your stubbornness will actually win.

Liios: 🤔 You're right... You're really onto something there.

Ptolemy: With that said. Please come home. Preferably in one piece. I've only the one brother.

Liios: We'll get you an in-law at some point don't worry.

[meowww-ffxiv]

Liios would not be a Helpful Azem Familiar.

He would be an Azem Familiar Who Probably Stole Shit (he did). He would be visiting Elpis after the shitshow in EW go down and just. Make copies or downright TAKE EVERYTHING he could find that wasn't nailed down because now he knew that while they were going to win, this portal into the past wouldn't last forever.

And the entire Studium would be like YOUUUU. YOU CAN TIME-TRAVEL. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEAN? I NEED SAMPLES OF EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING.

Saving the Alexandrian Library as it were.

But Liios needed to do it in a way where he wouldn't get caught. So he'd do side quests to look helpful, ask Many Questions (many lists prepared by his colleagues), steal/copy some records, then leave for a few weeks so they could kinda forget about him before coming back.

[meowww-ffxiv]

Liios really had NOTHING to his name, not even a weapon, when he came to Gridania at the start of ARR.

He got robbed blind of literally everything he owned except the clothes on his back when passing through the Shroud’s exterior…and while he immediately wrote a letter to Ptolemy to tell him what happened — his linkpearl to his brother was taken too — it would take…money to send…since Liios didn’t know at the time that moogles did deliveries.

So he showed up to the Archers’ Guild like “Hey are y’all handing out free bows?” and they were like shoo hobo go away, (derogatory) outsider.

Which wasn’t too bad. But then one of the novices said snidely how he probably couldn’t even tell which part of the bow to pull on and that REALLY offended Liios who was an exceptional marksman.

So he taunted the kid into an impromptu archery contest and said he’d have to give him his bow if he won. And naturally he did win because Liios had about 60 years of experience over this 18 year old but he didn’t gotta know that.

The commotion caused the guildsmaster to take notice of him and said he was free to get one of his own. So Liios graciously handed the one he “won” back to the kid.

He started off with a lot of bad blood because of it though. The Gridanians didn’t appreciate being shown off by a rabbit guy from god knows where who spoke with a distinct foreign accent. Liios didn’t give a fuck.

[meowww-ffxiv]

Liios doesn't exactly have a winning personality, he's just lively, attractive, and talks a lot.

Ptolemy radiates Goodly Kind Grandma Who Feeds You even though he looks like a twink in his primes so he kind of becomes a sinkhole for every emotionally stunted large men who feel emasculated if they admit they wanna be pegged, as Liios puts it.

Ptolemy: They are but children compared to us! You don't have to threaten them.

Liios: They're not children. They grow as quickly as us, and it's a disservice to both sides to think they are somehow naturally less mature and deserving of more leeway in their failings than we are. >:(

[meowww-ffxiv]

Liios comes to join Ptolemy again at the end of 5.55 because finally he realized where exactly he was.

By nearly blasting Thancred and Urianger’s heads off when he caught them creeping around in Garlemald. He happened to see the Archon marks before he could get a particularly dangerous shot off and was like “It’s the kid who got his PhD by winning Sharlayan Ninja Warrior :0”

And instead of going overland I think Liios would just teleport to Idyllshire aetheryte tbh. He didn’t before because he didn’t know if it was operational, since the colony was abandoned.

But he bullied Thancred and Urianger into giving him a waiver for the fees though bc he doesn’t have no fuckin’ money.