#like RIGHT AFTER doing a flight key with him. there are 4k FAs in this company. and yet I had to see him again
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boyapologist · 16 days ago
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so anyways. the contract is really good. here's some life updates in the tags
#I disappeared cause I was doing a flight key from HELL#which lead to a major depressive episode#I feel a tiiiiny little better now. no longer suicidal. but still feeling horrible#a lot happened in the past couple of days#for some reason. maybe faith or maybe the universe is just laughing at me#but I was called in from reserve to fly with the boy I mentioned here AGAIN#like RIGHT AFTER doing a flight key with him. there are 4k FAs in this company. and yet I had to see him again#right after I liked a bunch of his posts and he didn't like any of mine back so. clearly rejected me#it was nice to seen him again because for some reason I just feel GOOD when I'm around him#he's just so nice to talk to and we have so much in common#but then I had to go to a different crew and I had a major crash out#about the fact that even if I ever meet someone who feels like my soulmate or whafever#they'll still won't like me back. cause no matter how much we have in common or we connect I'm still fugly#and then the thought spiral started. you guys know how it goes.#but anyways after a couple days I was feeling a little better and willing to accept that as my friend said...#''I made a good friend'' or whatever#I GUESS.#but then guess what#fucking giovana visited my TIKTOK PROFILE of all places. tiktok. what?#I don't even post on tiktok I just repost memes#and I don't even use MY NAME#my username there is exactly the same as here. which means she still knows how to find me here. which is terrifying#I didn't think I'd ever be afraid of her again like I was back in 2018 but here we are#and it's just so bizarre cause even though she totally ghosted me I still missed her so much and hoped we could just put it past us AGAIN#I was willing to give her a THIRD CHANCE even if she wasn't even sorry for this time#I was willing to have her back in my life if she let me. I really was. and then she does this#with several desesperate pleas of mine left unread on whatsapp#which she clearly did on purpose#she just searches my tumblr username on tiktok. who does that. that's fucking creepy#so I guess she still reads my blog. which is terrifying considering this place meant to be my safe haven
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