#like bloated and everything
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Actually cannot take (most) romantic dramas
#you have to be FUNNY. OR the drama has to be the result of Plot Drama! theirs got to be some humility in the romance#either by knowing to laugh at itself or by not framing itself as the biggest thing#so the love can actually be the biggest thing!#idk part of it’s just my taste and getting embarrassed easily so to look at it you can only look at it out the corner of your eye#but I do feel like the romance in a lot of romantic dramas can get kind of. bloated. navel gazing. something like that#more concentrated in ways that it’s not supposed to be so you miss out on the way it’s everything in a way!#I say most because I’m sure there are actually good romantic dramas but I feel like the genre lends itself easily to Over concentration#or oversaturation and then I can’t watch
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realising you are no longer into the thing you used to love so much is a bit painful, to be honest
#flowers.txt#this is about hades 2 because like. I was SO excited when it was announced#I bought the game basically the minute it was out. when the first few updates were coming out I'd drop everything to play them#then it's been like what. a bit under week from the latest update and I only had 2 runs in this entire time#and I didn't even enjoy them all that much. and I can't really imagine what I could do to *make* myself enjoy them#I feel like at some point the game sort of got too... bloated? like there is unfortunately a thing like having too much content. for me#and I usually enjoy making charts and stuff and figuring things out and coming up with combinations but well. I guess I have limits#for how much I'm willing to engage with#some dialogue is also just. complete filler. re: almost every interaction with olympians#like all the olympians gift-giving dialogue is there to be there. it doesn't actually say anything interesting!!!#arguably the worst thing is that I still *do* care about the plot. and interactions with the crossroads characters#except to see them I have to complete a ~20+- minute run. only to see a few new dialogues. and then again. and again.......#I had 100 hours in the game before the update but I honestly don't feel like I have another 10 in me at this point#and I have 400h+ on the OG hades that's a lot smaller in scale.................idk man. just feeling sad about it all
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game files have become WAYYYYY too large its insane. 100gb installation?????? we're sending everyones asses back to the xbox 360 until you can learn how to compress your game size again
#truly the lack of needing to put Everything for the game on the disc has allowed ABSURDDDD bloating#bc if you can download half of it off the internet and keep it on console who cares? you can sprawl all you like wo regard for file size#discs dont let you play that game. even blurays can only do up to like 25gb. you gotta fuckin FIT#sorry i saw the oblivion remake was 100+ gb and i mentally compared it to skyrim (12 gb) and now i need everyone to explode
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anyway started my period today so sorry for the insane gifsets you’ve been seeing. or not.
#my second period last month knocked everything off kilter#so it was anyone’s guess when i was due#but i felt it in my loins i’ve been bloated unnecessarily for days#and just this air of ‘can’t be arsed’ washed over me and that’s when ik i’m due#i go lazy mode x1000#low and behold.#love how as soon as i took my pad off in the evening thinking i was safe for today it was like ok… BLEED.#personal
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#its so interesting to watch disinformation spread on the internet. and i mean through communities of very online people. not thru offline#ppl who just dont understand how the internet works. its so strange. like if you say something with enough conviction and if you have enough#online clout you can warp reality around your mistruths. its like that succession line im misremembering. you dont predict the future u say#things and the ppl around you scramble to make them true. and bc no one actually cares or has their own bias they never try to understand#the situation. and its so hard for me to tell where the reason behind that misinformation orignates. is it knowing lies to insight#harrassment? a huge distortion of perspective thru ego and echo chamber? or actually being a total moron? its so strange#i dunno. the internet is also very strange in that people as a collective are absolutely incapable of handling conversations that are even a#little bit complicated. you see it all over the place but its especially apparent when you watch live stream chatters flip the fuck out when#a streamer says something they disagree with even a little bit or theyre charitable to opposing perspectives. and its so baffling to me bc#everything in life is complicated and its insane to not want to interact with that even a little bit. so you end up with creators who r#audience captured bc they're afraid of upsetting ppl and that pushes communities to be unempathetic and hostile#and ready to devour anyone who doesnt meet the standards of their rigid purity test. and. in some particularly unhinged circumstances#streamers and particular member of their audiences will ensite hate under the guise of pretending to care about historic tragedies ongoing#in the world. like bro just bc u feel u have the moral high ground on one particular point does not mean u r completely immune from all#criticism and u can say truely horrifc shit abt something else and allow ur chat to be really gross. ur using the death of children to#deflect criticism wtf is happening? and again its not a clean situation. its messy. good and bad things r happening in these communities but#like there is so much content being pushed out that its almost impossible to keep track of if u arent terminally online so normies just hear#things that may or may not be true and make a black and white judgment on it. and then u get this bloated backlash based on misinfo bc#someone has a louder voice in a particular space. its madness. very interesting to watch it play out in a kind of disgusting way.#and someday there will be this empty record of an internet war no one cares abt anymore. so strange. anyway. terrible things happening in#the communities of streamers. if the internet does anythinf well its magnifying hate to obscene levels#unrelated
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chat I'm starting to connect some dots and I fear i might have a soy intolerance. which would suck tremendously bc I'm vegetarian aiming to be vegan eventually. and yk how soy is in literally everything but more so in vegan products.
Im REAAAAALLY hoping I'm wrong
#like i get bloated very easily by anything and everything#but theres times that i start feeling like shit and i start belching A LOT and my digestion isnt nice (to put it nicely)#and im starting to think it could be connected to the soy#ive been vegetarian since for like 6 years now so it could totally be something else#however#i used to get really sick one night (or a few) a month where i would get super nauseous for hours#and headaches and bla bla the whole thing#and thats something i never really looked into lol. just accepted it. hasnt happened in a while though#i really should go to the doctor more#personal
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not even a writing degree can save me from my own worst enemy:
chronic over-explanation and tangents.
#yeah so i figured out why i'm having such a hard time writing the takoshi/masumii posts#it's because i keep trying to include fucking EVERYTHING about them/their backstories despite a good 50% of that not being too important#to understanding them as characters. which is the goal. not worldbuilding that is just bloating the post and making it feel super unfocused#like that stuff IS important#this just. isn't the place for it lmao-#anyways should be much smoother sailing now; gonna hunker down and hopefully finish atleast one of the writing parts tonight#shooting for next week maybe....? (very optimistic but my ass is MOTIVATED)#so yeah. art wips will come as i finish working on that too lol#just prioritizing the writing for now :]#shook rambles
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i'm stoked that i won the insurance war and i get to have a (very inconveniently timed!!!) hysterectomy, but everything i learn about the surgery and healing process makes me gag. why can't i, with my fragile and sensitive disposition, simply stop having a uterus? but also i fucking need that cuff bro i can't get pap smeared ever again or i will actually kms
#like wym the bloating lasts for 6+ months and i'll go up multiple pants sizes#WYMMMM i can feel my organs relocating#also this literally means anthony has to do everything w regards to the move while i lay around for 6 weeks like an emperor#thank god he loves me lmfao#god i just remembered i can't even like paint or apply wallpaper. gina if you're reading this#peep peep
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thank god for indie devs making like tiny little maximum 10 megabyte freeware games on itchio keeping the art of filesize optimization alive. ASSET REUSE FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#im watching a video about wario land music -> 'the bizarre music and sound design of wario land 4' by geno7#good video so far! i like this guys stuff. he talked a bit about how they did some of the sound effects for warios voice#a very like. chopped and remixed sample style of doing his vocal lines. which is very cool 1) because it saves a bit of#precious space on that gba cartridge BUT ALSO 2) it just sounds cool and interesting stylistically#and man sometimes trying to keep a file size down really does give way for some really interesting stuff#on my own personal interests in games i ADORE rpg makers rtp and how people can find creative uses for it#i love that a bunch of games can draw from the same asset pool as one install on ur computer#no bloating your hardrive with a bunch of copies of the same assets - its just already here!#and from a developers perspective i love when they reuse old assets from other games in new weird ways#some small visual novel companies will reuse backgrounds and other assets#altho i dont mind a bit of bloat with VNs since a big draw can be the big pretty images and big pretty sounds#but its still cool when people find ways to get creative with space saving. and from a players perspective its also nice#space is cheap nowadays. but its not Free. we can swallow terabytes whole with micro sds and everything#but a lot of players dont get the chance or ability to upgrade their internal memory that often. so i think being considerate of filesize i#very important. and thats not even getting into the download bandwidth limits - a lot of people all across north america can only get like#internet from 1 provider and that 1 provider often likes to upcharge and limit shit because they can#we might live in a future where a lot of powerful technology exists. but access to that tech is another story#so remember the filesize. remember the filesize.#dies in your arms
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Should I be allowed to include Sims 2 Store/preorder/exchange content in Calcinidae Bay
There are several reasons why I'm keeping Calcinidae Bay CC-free but first and foremost it's to see "how far can I get with only TS2 Maxis content?" and so there's always this nagging voice in the back of my head saying "but this is TS2 Maxis content".
Lots that I share will remain CC-free, and I'm not including Stories conversions. Only things made by EA, for TS2.
#I keep writing up really long nerdy posts that are only relevant to me about the pros/cons for it#but most people play with this content already bc it's included in the modern installer#and if I'm already keeping it in my game forever bc it's Maxis stuff I feel like I should try and get the most use out of it#because otherwise I'm keeping stuff in my DL folder just for one or two uses. Or to never be used at all#which is the exact opposite reason of why I have this low-CC rule in the first place (to avoid CC creep + bloat)#plus a lot of these objects are either made to complement existing stuff or to fill needs that aren't met by the game content#so it just feels silly! to feel like there's a missing piece and to see it RIGHT THERE in my catalogue but not be allowed to use it!!#and half the lots I make in Calcinidae Bay aren't for anyone but myself in the first place#but there is this persistent voice that keeps saying 'but then it's not CC-free. and then what's the point'#well the point is to try and stretch the limits of The Sims 2!! And I feel like this bonus content is included in that definition!!#It does feel a little silly to be using tools like the Lot Adjuster and Shiftable Everything and SimPE#to make stuff that the average Sims 2 player back then would either not have known how to use or wouldn't have had access to#but then I'm like 'A giraffe plush that players got in the early 2000s for free with their physical CD? verboten'
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developing a pretty bad side effect from one of my meds. uh oh!
#:)#getting the hypertension med-induced edema and i think if i have to endure this for more than another like 48 hours i Will kms#fully everything from my shins down is just slowly bloating and going numb/tingly. shoes are starting to not fit....it's bad for me#if it gets much worse walking will start to be a problem and i'm sorry i don't give a fuck but i'm not getting mobility problems!!#these meds have caused me nothing but anguish and torment since entering my life and i'm not even joking#maybe being on the highest dose of everything was a bad idea.........
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#sorry im thinking abt death again#because it's weird to think that ive been in the room. maybe a meter away from someone as they died#that someone being my mom. its just weird. the time in the hospital feels like it happened in some dark little pocket universe detached from#time. a calm room and then the soft blips of a monitor then the nurse rushing in to say she'd passed#i dont kno y ppl use that phrase: passed on. i mean i do. it softens the topic. makes it sound peaceful. ive yet to use it. i just say she#died bc thats what happened. is that insensitive? i dunno. when i was home i realized that i come off as much stranger than i think. the way#my family see me doesnt fit how i see myself. i dont kno what to do with that. i dunno. theyre all together today#for an early easter. and im halfway across the country again. nose so stuffy ive had to mouth breathe for the last 3 days#and again. everything feels the same as it did before but also profoundly different. sometimes i cry in the mornings. or when i think abt#future vacations she wont be there for. bc in the end she quickly slipped away in a way that couldn't be described as peaceful until her#last half a day. and all i can think about in that tiny room is how scary it would be to lose control like that#and how its not fair and she didnt deserve to die only halfway through a lifetime. but its not about fair and its not about deserving.#sometimes bad things just happen. that's life. and now i own a book called motherless daughters. and now im standing with the countless#others who've lost their moms too early. ive already become aware of 3 ppl in my daily life who are in the same club#i keep thinking about this moment that happened between my parents at the hospital. apparently my dad was helping her get cleaned up and her#stomach was so bloated she looked like she had a bby in there. which my dad said. and my mom apparently said: but it's a baby no one want. i#dont kno y that upsets me so much. all the things i heard abt her being in the hospital before i got there upset me. and the rest of my#family was there to see it. so i have the least traumatic version of the story. and i got almost 27 years with her. except my sisters#probably got more time with her bc i spent so much time away. or maybe not. i dunno.#i dunno. im just sad that shes gone and sad that it was drawn out even a little bit. 6 days isnt long but im sure it felt like an eternity.#again not fair. nothings fair. 53 years of unfairness culminating in a tragedy. she would hate me characterizing it like that. she lived a#full life as they say. full with an asterisk on account of length#unrelated
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Here's how I would have organized the plot of WWDITS seasons 2+3
Grounding points:
No child Colin (sacrifices must be made)
No seasons 4+5+6
Season 2: Nightclub arc
It's in a different location than the library, which they get to in season 3. The Guide may or may not help. Colin is an adult for it and he's just annoying (a whole bunch of good jokes about clubs there). Instead of kid Colin as the main act, they cycle through a bunch of acts, ending with the Nouveau Theatre Des Vampires, which is a trap that shuts the club down and reveals Guillermo is a Van Helsing.
Season 3: Local Vampiric Council
Everything happens the same, it's just that the nightclub has happened in the past. The Supreme Council is so impressed by Guillermo's slaying that they look past that, but they don't let them make another night club.
Baby Colin doesn't happen. Laszlo and Nadja go off to join the Supreme Council in London. Nandor turns Guillermo into a vampire and we get a similar ecstasy we saw in part of the season 4 finale but Guillermo doesn't feel bad. They go off to al-Quonodar.
#wwdits#i would really like to fit other great episodes and arcs in but I feel like everything got too bloated and I feel like this is a good way#to have the essentials#lmk if you have other ideas
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every single papercut comment my mother makes, i will pray that she stubs her toe 🙏
#borbtalks#'oh ew what's that black mark? on ur ear? right next to ur jewelry? *uncomfortably close as she stares at it*'#like fuck OFF. it's a PIMPLE you FUCKWIT. it's currently SCABBED bc you've spent over 20 YEARS picking at all my acne while i walk by#and now i pick at my acne and what happens when u pick at acne? it BLEEDS. FUCK YOU#woman is incapable of shutting up she NEEDS to comment on EVERYTHING. 'oh u look so bloated!'#'u have this massive pimple. right where i can see it' 'borb ur hair looks so greasy' 'theres just something (pimple) right here...'#'borb do u ever brush ur tongue? wdym dr says its thrush. well i say it's gross !! now open wide so i can stare and gag at it'#'do u think uve gained weight? well ive noticed 😰...' 'hey how are your bowel movements? not that im timing u in the bathroom or anything'#grrrr i hope she STUBS HER TOES. ALL OF THEM.
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My new pet peeve is people who think minecraft has too much new stuff
#+ complain about 'feature bloat' or conversely new stuff not having a purpose#i think its literally fine i think this is a non issue. minecraft likes to (to a point) emulate the real world and because of that#i dont think everything has to be immediately useful to the player#i think its fine for things to exist to be pretty/further world building/have one extremely specific use/etc.#radar.txt
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i would love to love diwali but something about it just makes me sad
#idk it's this weird memory induced feeling that I've had since 11th#but then i will have to visit and greet other family members participate in their whole pooja thing#the lights clothes and food are the only good part#except i don't go out during that part of night because everyone is bursting crackers in front of every building#and i don't like eating much because i don't want to look at pics ehere there is even slightest bloating#and i did not even buy anything this year because we are in constant on and off fights#plus it's a holiday and i don't want to deal with another extra day of my week being ruined because of someone's presence#maybe if i was away i would've loved it#but other than dressing up and music part and forcing myself to enjoy it i hate everything about diwali#v.txt
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