#like doppo needs sensei to be normal in order to breathe i too need sensei to be normal to function lol

[akkivee]

i’m in zen mode because i am currently just processing this entire mess lol so forgive me if this winds up all over the place but the soul swap turned out to be:

ichi➡️ramu

sama➡️jaku

ramu➡️sama

jaku➡️kuu

sasa➡️ichi

kuu➡️sasa

and wow!!! no it was an entire mess lol!!!! like sasara woke up in ichiro’s body wondering why he felt fine even tho he’d been drinking all night but literally why complain about it lol so he calls out to rosho for breakfast (lmfao) but he’s not in rosho’s home…..? welp he may not remember how he got wherever he is but whatever!! and heads out of ichiro’s room. downstairs, saburo and jiro are wondering if ichiro is okay since it was his turn to make breakfast and it’s weird he’s not even awake yet. jiro stopped saburo before he could try to wake ichiro up, since he was working all day yesterday, so they both decided to make breakfast for him (🥺🥺🥺) and that’s when sasara comes down lol wondering why ichiro’s brothers are here. he’s quick to catch on he’s in ichiro’s home in bukuro but assumes he’s being pranked for the cameras lmao he knows something’s up tho after asking jiro for the bathroom and runs out screaming because he’s in ichiro’s body LOL

in shibuya, ichiro is kinda feeling a little confused about what to do with waking up in ramuda’s body lol. he gets accosted by some girls on the street wanting to play with who they think is ramuda and ichiro is very quick to escape. it’s a small world because he happens to also be seen fleeing by gentaro and dice. ichiro makes his getaway but complains about how weak ramuda’s body is since he’s really out of breath and that’s when he hears a girl crying for help. rushing to the scene, ichiro finds the girl being mugged and ichiro tries to stop them only to get beat up himself 😭 fortunately, dice shows up in the nick of time and pushes the man off ramuda as the sounds of police sirens begin to wail. this scares the man off but it was only gentaro playing the siren sound on his phone lol. ichiro thanks them but gentaro and dice know something’s wrong when ichiro calls them by their last name. he tells them he’s ichiro and dice specifically brings up the story gentaro had told him and gentaro dramatically finishes with, “but this time it’s real 🤔”

in yokokama, juto walks into the waiting room for samatoki’s office (could also just be a waiting room in katengumi in general) to find rio also waiting for samatoki. they wait in silence but a clearly nervous henchman comes to turn them away. but they hear commotion and crashes coming from samatoki’s office so they go to investigate. and find samatoki’s henchmen chasing all 186cm of that man all around the office lmao juto is absolutely shook when samatoki greets them, “ah!! usa-chan and rio~!!! ya-ho-ho!!” rio, bless him lmao, asks if what he’s doing is fun (much to juto’s indignation like seriously??? that's what you ask lol???) and is promptly corrected!! he’s not samatoki!!! he’s ramuda🌟!!!

in shinjuku, doppo’s just gotten off of work and hifumi seems to have met him to so they could go check out tea shops to gift jakurai some tea (🥺🥺🥺) there seems to be a problem tho?? there’s quite the crowd blocking their route. hifumi is eager to check it out, and doppo reluctantly follows lol and they push through the crowd to find jakurai kicking ass??????? whoever he’s beating up manages to getaway and he’s pissed so it’s no surprise hifumi asks if jakurai’s had anything to drink lol but jakurai calms, brusquely stating he understands why hifumi thinks he might be lol. he introduces himself as samatoki to hifumi and doppo

in nagoya, shakku had called jyushi and hitoya to the temple because kuukou’s acting really weird????? both are confused by what that could mean so shakku leads the way. we find kuukou meditating in the temple’s main hall (LOL) admittedly, hitoya’s like what’s this got to do with what’s wrong with kuukou and shakku goes just wait until he speaks lol so jyushi tentatively calls out to him and kuukou (pls know that i’m dying typing this lol) calmly greets jyushi and tells him to stay put, he’ll walk over there. he’s also pleasantly surprised to see hitoya as well. and jyushi and hitoya understand LOL kuukou’s concerned they seem so surprised but remembers himself and reintroduces himself as jakurai. hitoya turns back to shakku like has answers even tho shakku literally called them because he’s confused too lol hitoya tries to question kuukou what’s wrong with him the way he usually does, calling him a shitty monk and all but jakurai calmly replies that this is the truth of the situation and jyushi starts crying that kuukou really is acting weird. jakurai’s stumped on how to get them to believe him but hey!!!! there’s a man that he has decades of history with!!! and goes, ‘hitoya, do you remember the time you suddenly showed us that you could do the moonwalk in middle school?’ hitoya is instantly startled lmao. jakurai: “it was most impressive 😃 you were such a hit that for a while our classmates were calling you ‘amaguni moon.’ and then during our sports festival, as we played tug of way you had—“ hitoya rushes to cover jakurai’s mouth lol and jyushi was like “were those stories true?? 😳” hitoya tries to refute but jakurai pushes hitoya off to say of course it’s true— hitoya loudly says he believes him so just shut up lol!!!!!!

in osaka, it’s a beautiful morning and we’re greeted by birdsong, rosho snoozing and rei and sasara loudly snoring lol except there’s only one person we haven’t seen yet and that’s kuukou lol. he wakes up first and is wondering why the heck he feels so weird…….. and is surrounded by a huge amount of sake bottles……. with rosho and rei?? so he rudely awakes rosho by slapping him lol rosho’s obviously mad to be hit so he, of course, hits him back. kuukou shoved him out of anger and rosho gives back as good as he got and it’s a full blown fist fight in rosho’s apartment LOL rei finally wakes up because it’s loud af and is wondering why they’re so rowdy so early. kuukou wants answers tho and he’s clearly talking like kuukou so rei’s like, ‘is this some new joke of yours??’ and rosho also asks if sasara is okay but kuukou snaps that he’s not sasara, he’s kuukou!!!! both rei and rosho are confused and kuukou’s like obviously i’m kuukou just look at me!!!! rei directs him to look at a mirror. he does. kuukou: “I’M SASARA???????????????????” lol so rosho gets the facts sorted out, kuukou’s in sasara’s body is that right?? kuukou frustratedly tells him that’s what he said and rei laughs at him and chooses to believe it. rosho asks how can he believe something so stupid and rei says it’s more fun to take it at face value LOL rosho goes with it and assumes that since kuukou is in sasara’s body, it must be the other way around too right?? kuukou snaps he can’t know that for sure and rei suggests to go find out themselves 😎

and finally back in bukuro, the bb with not ichiro are all sitting in an awkward silence until sasara literally cannot handle it anymore lmao jiro and saburo are still stuck on the osaka accent ichiro suddenly has lol they’re assuming it’s a weird prank ichiro’s doing but sasara insists he’s telling the truth, he sasara so he decides to tell them a joke since he’s a famous comedian!!! it was so lame of a pun jiro and saburo immediately believed he was not ichiro because ichiro wouldn’t say something so lame lmao and sasara is so offended he pushed jiro out of anger and before you know it, it’s a full blown fist fight in yorozuya yamada lmao fortunately fp with not ramuda walk in and ichiro (all 155cm of him lol) wacks them all upside their heads. ichiro introduces himself but he’s confused about the osaka accent coming out of his body since ramuda doesn’t have an osaka accent. but that’s because it’s sasara!!!! to their surprise lol which means it’s a lot more complicated than a simple body swap like fp had been assuming…….!!!

and then we wait until the next part 😩

[patchwork-panda]

If A Moment Is All We Are (39/?)

AO3 link HERE (due to formatting errors on tumblr, clicking the link is recommended)

S1, OP2

Music 1

“Okay... the oil should be hot enough now.”

Kyouka moved her hand away from the top of the uncovered pan and turned towards me. She nodded, her blue eyes serious.

“Go ahead.”

Swallowing nervously, I nodded back.

“Okay. Here I go...”

“ You’ve got this, Kusunoki- san! ” Atsushi cried, cheering me on from behind a splatter screen as I slowly tilted the bowl of beaten egg mixture over the pan. “ I believe in you!”

But the moment the egg hit the oil and started to fry, he ducked back down behind the screen to hide.

Ignoring him, I kept my eyes on the omelette sizzling in the pan, determined not to let this one burn like the last two had.

“Good,” Kyouka said quietly, peering at the stovetop from behind my elbow.

So she was hiding too...

“Now leave it alone and let it cook. Once it looks solid enough— ”

She turned towards the sink, where the charred remains of a ruined square pan lay smoldering in the sink. I shrank in on myself as she glared up at me.

“You can start rolling it. I’ll be keeping a closer eye on you this time. ”

Sweating a little and smiling weakly, I nodded again.

“Yes, ma’am...”

I went back to staring at the omelette, praying that I wouldn’t ruin this one like the others. It was already seven in the morning. I had barely managed to get the rice balls done correctly as it was. If I kept going like this, there was no way I would have Kunikida’s bento lunch done in time for our day together!

And then...!

Inwardly, I squirmed.

My entire plan would be ruined...!

I sighed.

Just two days ago, I had felt unstoppable. It was a week after I’d closed Professor Matsuyama’s case. Every last report had been finally turned in. My entire backlog gone. Even Dazai had seemed unusually focused for the past several days and I’d managed to finish every last piece of work unbothered for the first time since, well, ever. I’d just been packing up for the day and getting ready to go home to play video games when Yosano called out to me from her side of the room...

“Kyou-chan!”

I looked up from my bag as Yosano approached.

“Come with me for a second.”

And without waiting for me to even give a response, she grabbed the back of my shirt and literally started dragging me away.

“ Yosano-sensei!” I yelped as she tore me away from my desk. “ What are you doing —?!”

“Just hush up and come here.”

And that’s when we passed the infirmary. I quickly realized I was not about to be dissected and stopped struggling immediately.

I nervously met her glance.

“Uh... Where are we going?”

“Somewhere we’re not goin g to be overheard,” she replied casually.

Her purple eyes twinkled as she glanced down at me and I was abruptly and involuntarily reminded of Dazai .

“I’m giving you a special assignment ...”

And as we arrived at the conference room at last, she opened the door and shoved me in. I heard the subtle click of the lock behind me as I got up and dusted myself off.

“This is a secret assignment,” Yosano said, turning to face me. “And it comes straight from the President himself. So make sure you don’t breathe a word of this to anyone else, okay?”

At that, my ears perked up.

“A secret assignment?” I sputtered, rounding on her, my eyes huge. “From P-President Fukuzawa?!”

W-what kind of special assignment would President Fukuzawa give someone like me?!

And why was it secret?!

W as it s omething massive ly important or particularly special?! But if that were the case, why not hand it to Kunikida or Dazai or someone far more competent than me?!

“Calm down, Kyou-chan,” Yosano said quickly, raising her black-gloved hands up in an appeasing gesture. “It’s nothing big or scary. It’s actually quite simple.”

She paused to think for a second.

She frowned.

“Okay, maybe not that simple, but we do think it’s a job you’re well-suited for. We were originally going to give it to Dazai but then we realized it really was better to ask you.”

Huh?

I blinked.

They were asking me to do an assignment in Dazai’s stead?

“What’s the assignment?” I asked, confused.

“ We need you...” Yosano said, taking a deep breath in.

Her face turned deadly serious.

“To distract Kunikida.”

My jaw hit the floor.

“HUH?!!”

“ He hasn’t taken a day off in almost a full year,” Yosano sighed, rubbing her temple with one black-gloved hand. “He’s been pretty stressed out the last couple days thanks to his latest big-shot client and his blood pressure lately’s been through the roof.”

She shook her head, her dark hair flying about her face.

“It’s way too high for someone his age. If this keeps up, he’ll keel over and drop dead before Dazai does!”

I balked.

I didn’t know a thing about medical science, but if Yosano was saying this... Just how bad was Kunikida’s stress?!

“Oh, but don’t worry!” Yosano said quickly, correctly recognizing the look on my face. “He’ll be okay. As long as he learns to relax a little more and take his breaks when he needs to, I think he’ll live a long, healthy life! Probably.”

Not entirely convinced, I nodded slowly.

“So, here’s the thing,” she continued, understanding that she now had my full attention. “The president is forcing— I mean, asking Kunikida to take a day off. Next week. For his health. Now, normally, Kunikida will follow any order the president gives but for something like this, we’re not sure if he’ll be able to do it on his own .”

She frowned.

“You see, he likes to plan things out to the letter and we’re concerned that he’ll find a way to sneak some work in here or there. Either that or overplan his day to the point where it’s not relaxing any more. So!”

She jabbed her finger at me.

“That’s where you come in,” she declared. “Your job is to make sure Kunikida Doppo spends the whole day relaxing, even if it kills him!”

WHAT?!

“It’s just for one day,” Yosano elaborated. “You just finished up a big case and it seems like you got through your entire backlog just now. So, we’re asking you to do it because you could probably use a short break yourself.”

She beamed.

“ That means you’re getting the day off too!”

Ah...

I felt a grim smile come to my face.

So that meant they weren’t paying me to do any of this...

“ We’re counting on you, Kyou-chan,” Yosano said, clapping her hand on my shoulder. “ If it’s you, I know you’ll be able to help. But...”

She tightened her grip on my shoulder and I felt an instinctive rush of fear.

“If he comes anywhere within a five-hundred meter radius of this office ,” she declared, grinning maniacally.

Even though she was carrying no weapons, I could picture the shine of her cleaver held at the ready above my head.

“ It’ll be on your head...”

Shuddering at the memory, I kept my focus on the thin layer of egg cooking in the pan in front of me.

So that’s why I was here.

My job, as it was forced on me, was to accompany Kunikida for the day and make sure he didn’t try to do any work. While Yosano had said something to the effect of “break his cell phone if you have to,” I had no plans to do anything of the sort.

I had a much better idea...

I felt a tiny grin coming to my face as I saw the egg begin to puff up in the pan.

If I wanted to keep Kunikida away from the office for an entire day, then what better way to do so than with a nice day out on the town? It wouldn’t be a date exactly, but there couldn’t be any harm in, say, taking Kunikida out to a bunch of places that I thought he might like? Or getting up early to make him a bento box lunch from scratch, so he wouldn’t want to go back to the Uzumaki Cafe? Or in dressing up a little nicer than usual since I was going to be spending an entire day with him?

It’s what his ideal woman would do, right?

Picking up my chopsticks, I started rolling up the egg.

Thinking back on it, the timing couldn’t be more perfect. I was already thinking about confessing to Kunikida by the end of this week. What better way to do it than after a day like this?

And maybe...

I felt my cheeks warm as I poured in the second layer of egg.

Maybe today would go so well that he would consider returning my feelings, or at least giving me a chance...!

I just had to make sure everything went according to plan.

“Kusunoki-san!”

Atsushi was suddenly at my shoulder, his duochrome eyes wide. I realized he had lowered the splatter screen “shield.”

“I think you’re actually doing it!”

I tried not to take offense.

“Thanks...”

“No, really!” he said, pausing to sniff the air.

I thought I saw him wipe away a fleck of drool, his golden eyes bright as he eyed the growing log of egg in the pan.

“It looks great!”

“Want the first slice, then?” I asked, surprising even myself.

Atsushi stared at me.

“R-really?” he blurted out. “Is that okay? I mean you’re going to all this trouble for Kunikida-sa—”

His question was cut short by Kyouka elbowing him in the stomach.

“Really,” I said, nodding as I transferred the cooked tamagoyaki out of the pan and onto a bamboo sushi rolling mat.

Taking care not to burn my hands, I finished compacting the egg log and cut him a slice. As I held it out to Atsushi , who gleefully took it from me with a pair of chopsticks he produced out of nowhere, I was suddenly reminded of the last time I’d tried feeding a stray cat outside the ADA building.

The tiger-boy grinned and opened his mouth.

“Itadakimasu!”

He took a bite.

I was sweating. I could hear the blood pounding in my ears as I watched the boy in front of me gleefully chew. Then, he swallowed.

“ It’s good!” he exclaimed, shooting me an excited look . “It’s actually really good!”

He quickly scarfed down the rest of his egg.

“I think Kunikida-san would be happy to eat something like this.”

I clapped my egg-covered hands over my mouth.

“Really!?” I squeaked, hardly believing his words. “You really mean that?!”

“Yes, really!”

I wasn’t sure who looked more excited—Atsushi or me.

“In fact...!”

He stepped up to the chopping board, where the rest of the tamagoyaki lay steaming on its thin plastic surface.

“Let me show you something.”

Picking up the knife, Atsushi cut off a thick slice and laid it down on the board.

“If you cut this slice in half diagonally,” he said cheerfully, demonstrating as I watched, “and then place the two halves together like this...”

He laid it out on the board with a grin.

“Y ou can make a heart!”

“ H -h eart-shaped tamagoyaki ...” I stuttered, staring at it.

For Kunikida’s bento?!

My face instantly burst into flame.

Atsushi nodded.

“Yeah, it’s really cute and I think it would be perfect for your da —OW!”

He doubled over, groaning in pain as Kyouka elbowed him in the stomach again.

“Kusunoki-san.”

Shoving her roommate aside, Kyouka stepped forward. She presented me with the nearly completed bento box, the rest of the foods we’d finished cooking this morning neatly nestled alongside a bed of freshly cooked rice.

“Love is a woman’s battle,” she said, her blue eyes bright.

She held up the box.

“Good luck!!”

“Kyouka-chan...!” I whispered.

I was actually tearing up. I couldn’t help it ! Seeing her there next to me, in her cute little apron, with her hair tied up and the purest smile on her face— I was about to step forward and envelop her in a crushing hug when I realized she was holding onto the lunch boxes I’d worked so hard to prepare. Coughing a little, I dropped into as low of a bow as I could manage.

“Thank you!! Thank you so much!”

“It’s nothing,” Kyouka mumbled quickly, her cheeks reddening in an adorable blush. “I only hope I was a suitable teacher.”

You were, you were!” I sniffled, wiping my eyes. “I’ll return the favor someday, I promise—”

“You don’t have to do that,” Kyouka said quickly. “Just...”

And as one, we turned to the sink, where the pile of dirty dishes had grown to the size of a small tower. I was instantly reminded of the moldering dishes that had collected in Tayama Katai’s sink.

I grimaced as Kyouka quietly mumbled her request:

“Just help me wash the dishes before you go.”

“Alright, then. I’m off!”

Tucking the finished set of bento boxes into the cute little bag I’d specifically chosen for this occasion, I hoisted the thick strap over my shoulder and turned to face my hosts.

“Thank you so much for everything today, Atsushi-kun, Kyouka-chan! I won’t forget this, I swear!”

“Don’t worry about it, Kusunoki-san!” Atsushi said quickly, ushering me towards the door. “You’ve already thanked us enough. Just hurry up and get going or you’re going to be late!”

“It’ll be okay, Atsushi-kun!” I declared, taking out the tiny notepad I’d bought just for today (green, just like Kunikida’s!) and flipping it open to show him my plans. “I have everything completely planned out. The next bus doesn’t arrive for another ten minutes. And if I miss this bus—”

I flipped to the next memo.

“Then I can just run to the nearest train station, take the next train and run to get the meeting location on time! And if that doesn’t work, I’ll just call a taxi—”

“Oh my God,” Atsushi whispered, his face color changing to an unsettling shade of blue as he stared at my itinerary, “you really do have it all planned out. As expected of someone tasked with distracting Kunikida-san all day... it’s almost too much...”

I blinked at him.

“Is it...?”

“Kusunoki-san?”

Drying a dish in her tiny hands, Kyouka emerged from the kitchen area.

“Good luck,” she said, her blue eyes bright. “I hope it goes well!” “‘Goes well?’” Atsushi repeated, looking confused. “What does that mean—”

“D-Don’t worry about it,” I mumbled awkwardly, my face going pink. “Anyway, I’ll see you guys tomorrow! Have a nice day at work!”

And with that, I grabbed the doorknob and let myself out into the hallway, Atsushi and Kyouka following me as far as the foyer to see me off.

“You too, Kusunoki-san!” Atsushi called after me as I headed down the hall, waving. “Have a nice day!”

Breathing a sigh of relief as the door closed at last, I took my notepad back out and held it in front of me.

“Is it really too much?” I mumbled, scanning down the list of things I’d planned to do.

8:00 am: meet Kunikida at the park by the ADA dorms.

8:02 am: small talk

8:06 am: walk from the park to a nearby coffee shop

8:09 am: order coffee

8:19 am: spend time at the coffee shop

9:01 am: leave coffee shop

9:11 am: arrive at bookstore on next street

9:31 am: leave bookstore

9:32 am: window shop (?)

9:48 am: head to train station

9:50 am: board train

10:13 am: get off train

10:17 am: arrive at Yokohama Marine Tower

10:41 am: leave Yokohama Marine Tower

10:46 am: arrive at Yamashita Park

10:47 am: look at the flowers (10 min per flower bed!)

12:30 pm: Lunch break

1:34 pm: leave Yamashita Park

1:43 pm: Walk around Chinatown.

2:14 pm: leave Chinatown

“...”

I stopped walking down the hallway to stare at the list.

Compared to Kunikida’s notebook, this really didn’t seem that unmanageable...

But then again...

I made a face as I kept scrolling through the next couple pages of memos.

Maybe Atsushi was right and it really was a little ambitious.

I forgot to schedule in bathroom breaks...

“Will thirty minutes really be enough at the bookstore?” I mumbled to myself as I resumed walking. “Maybe I shouldn’t drink that much coffee...”

Bookstores, museums, bento lunch at the park, stationary stores and fishing...

I felt an odd twinge in my chest as I scrolled through the list. I’d worked really hard to put together this schedule, even staying up a little later than usual so that I could research every location. Everything that was on here was here for a reason. Some, like the bookstore, were there because I either thought or heard that Kunikida had an interest in them. Others, like the trip to Yamashita Park, were there because I’d heard...

I felt my face warm as I stared at the flower I’d drawn next to the kanji.

Because I’d heard that they were good date spots...

I lowered the notebook with a small, wistful sigh.

I’d planned everything out to the letter, even copied the kind of scheduling I thought Kunikida might approve of, even though it had nearly killed me to do so.

And I did it because...

My fingers tightened around the notebook.

I wanted Kunikida to like me. I really, really wanted him to like me and I was willing to do anything it took if it meant that he might begin to see me the way I saw him...

Even if it was just a slim possibility.

Feeling strangely determined, I stuffed the notebook into my pocket and proceeded down the hall.

If I could just hear those four little words... If I could just hear Kunikida Doppo say to me once, “I like you, too...”

Then it would all be worth it.

But just as I came to the end of the sunlit hall, I thought I saw something flashing on the wall to my right. I stopped in my tracks.

“Huh?”

Blinking, I took a step towards it.

It was a name plate: a square of shiny, rectangular glass, under which was a small card bearing the name of the occupant within.

My eyes widened.

“Dazai... Osamu.”

I nearly dropped the bag.

Here?

Dazai lived here?

I felt something strange passing through my body as I stood there staring at the name plate, the glass shining as brightly in the morning sun as the full moon had that unusually wintry night...

“You don’t have to say yes right away, Kusunoki-san.”

I took a step forward, towards the door.

“Take your time, think about it. Just know that if you ever change your mind, you’ll know where to find me.”

Standing there beside me at the wrought-metal gates, Dazai paused for a moment and thoughtfully rubbed his chin.

“Actually, maybe you don’t. I should probably give you my number.”

My cell phone, buried deep in my coat pocket, clunked softly against my thigh as I took another couple steps towards Dazai’s front door.

Text received. My burner cell buzzed noisily in my jacket and, pocketing his own device, Dazai smiled.

The name plate was right in front of me, the kanji neat and dark upon the white paper card within.

“My apartment’s not very far from here. If you ever need anything, anything at all...”

I reached out.

Dazai winked, his grin as cheerful as ever.

“Just give me a call. I promise...”

My fingers came to a rest on the name plate, just below Dazai’s name.

“I’ll be right over.”

So...

I bit my lip.

This is what he meant when he said he lived nearby...

Dazai, like Atsushi and Kyouka, lived at the company dorm, just one short train ride away from my apartment.

He was only two doors down and I’d been making quite the racket this morning when I was cooking—or rather, failing at cooking.

How much had he heard? Did he know why I was cooking at Atsushi and Kyouka’s apartment?

My fingers lingered on the name plate.

Should I talk to him? Tell him I was only here because I’d been given a special assignment? That I was going to be out all day today because of it?

My fingers curled in on themselves, like a fist against the name plate.

Should I tell him that I was planning to confess to Kunikida today?

I brought my folded fingers to my chest and sighed.

No. I shouldn’t say anything. Knowing Dazai, he’d probably take this as an excuse to mess with me or derail my plans or something to that effect.

Besides, he probably wasn’t even home...

I stared at the door.

But then, where would he be? It wasn’t like him to come to the Agency early so that he could get a head start on the workday.

I stood before the door, my left hand curled into a fist against my chest, my right curled around the bag of bento boxes.

Maybe I should just say hi. Just real quick. He is still one of my mentors, after all...

Slowly, I lifted my hand towards the door.

Suddenly, someone kicked a door open down the hall with an ear-shattering BANG. Startled, I jumped and moved away from the door just in time to see Atsushi coming through the door with a large trash bag in his hands.

“Kusunoki-san, you’re still here?” Atsushi called, gawping at me with his big golden eyes. “Don’t you have a bus to catch?!”

Behind him, Kyouka quickly poked her head out the open door.

“What are you doing?” she yelled, brandishing a cooking knife at me, her blue eyes sharp. “Get going, right now!”

“Yes, ma’am!” I shrieked, throwing my hands in the air like a thief who’d just been caught.

And before she could throw the knife at me, I sprinted down the stairs, nearly tripping over my own feet as I made it out of the courtyard. As if on cue, the bus pulled in to the bus stop just as I arrived at the loading zone and I quickly followed the rest of the morning commuters inside.

Luckily for me, it was relatively empty and I was able to find a seat by one of the windows on the right side. Taking care not to jostle the bento boxes too much, I sat down, breathing a sigh of relief only when the bus began to crawl down the street.

But as I took out my mirror to check my reflection, to make sure my makeup was still in decent condition, I caught sight of the Agency apartment complex, in the distance, with its corrugated red roof and pale, softly streaked walls. I watched quietly as the corner room on the second floor, the room I’d been standing in front of not two minutes ago, slowly grew smaller and faded into the distance.

With a heavy creaking and groaning of wheels, the bus turned the corner.

Dazai’s apartment disappeared from sight.

To the gods out there who kept me alive long enough to see this day...

I paused at the edge of the sidewalk, just outside the park, unable to take another step forward, for fear of ruining the perfect image in front of me: Kunikida Doppo, sitting on a park bench on the hill, his tall figure bathed in the warm glow of the morning light, his dirty-blonde hair shining like finespun gold.

Kunikida-san... sitting there waiting for me...!

I seriously thought I was going to cry.

Thank you...

Kunikida-san... He always looked so handsome and well-put-together when he was at the office, with his broad shoulders and long legs, sitting at his desk in his beige vest and slacks.

But today...

I felt my cheeks warm as I quietly observed him from afar.

Today, I got to see him in a way that I’d never seen him before. Today, Kunikida was dressed in casual wear. Well, sort of. That navy blue blazer had clearly been tailored to fit his body (and it did. Very well, actually) and those brown shoes on his feet were just a little on the fancy side, but he was still sitting there on that bench wearing jeans and a white T-shirt. I watched as he crossed and uncrossed his long, slim legs, his beautiful, sage-colored eyes never leaving the pages of his little green notebook.

He looked great.

Grinning stupidly to myself, I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket, getting ready to snap a photo. I knew I probably looked like some kind of a creep, but I had to commemorate this moment. How often was the lighting as perfect as the subject? Maybe if he agreed to be my boyfriend (a girl could dream, couldn’t she?), he might forgive me and we’d have a good laugh about it.

But just as I had him all lined up in the viewfinder, Kunikida looked up and spotted me from across the way. His gray-green eyes met mine through the screen and I actually threw my phone into the air in shock.

“K-Kunikida-san!” I stammered, trying at once to both regain my composure and catch my phone. “G-Good morning! Were you waiting long?”

No sooner were the words out of my mouth than I thought I heard the “snap” of the photo being taken.

Shit. Had he heard?!

I hurried to stuff it away in my pocket before Kunikida could notice.

“No, not really,” Kunikida said politely.

Rising from the bench, he tucked his notebook into a hidden pocket of his blazer and walked towards me. Behind him, the morning sun framed his golden hair like a halo, the gray tone of his eyes softening into something more vibrant and green.

“Don’t worry.”

Stopping just before me on the path, he inclined his head in greeting.

“I only just arrived.”

Ahh...

How many times had I dreamed of having this exact conversation with him? The customary pleasantries exchanged when you finally meet up for a date?

I’m so happy I could die ...!

Suddenly spotting the colorful little bag hanging at my side, Kunikida raised an eyebrow and gestured towards it.

“Hey...” he said slowly. “Is the pattern on that canvas bag actually just a bunch of Pikach—”

“Ah, would you look at the time!” I cried, pulling my own miniature notebook out of my pocket and flipping to the appropriate page. “We should really get going if we want to get to the cafe on time!”

I jerked around and robotically made for the street, the heels of my shoes clicking awkwardly against the sidewalk as I moved.

“We’ve got a busy schedule today, you know!”

Kunikida blinked at me.

“‘Busy schedule?’” he repeated, sounding surprised.

Had I said the magic words? Was he going to be pleased?

I nodded, suddenly filled with a renewed sense of determination.

“Yeah!” I said, briefly lifting my notebook up to show him. “I’ve got our entire day planned out right here in this little notebook. So, Kunikida-san!”

I turned and shot him a grin over my shoulder.

“Please leave everything to me.”

I’ll make sure you have the most relaxing day ever!

For a moment, Kunikida grew quiet. I watched as the handsome, blonde detective slowly looked from the notebook to me. Finally, he nodded, a tiny smile gracing his features.

“Sounds good,” he said, tucking his hands into his pockets. “Lead the way, Kusunoki-kun.”

Smiling, I pulled open my maps and turned back towards the street.

“Yes, sir!”

Atsushi-kun was right...

Wobbling a little on my feet, I collapsed against the inner wall of the observation deck of the Yokohama Marine Tower.

My schedule really was too ambitious...

When I’d first gotten the idea to distract Kunikida by taking him out for a day of fun around Yokohama, I’d thought my task would be relatively straightforward. I figured, as long as I did the research and put in the time necessary to craft a perfect schedule, I would succeed. Little did I know how wrong I was.

Things went off the rails almost as soon as we’d left the park.

Our first stop was a local coffee shop. I’d specifically chosen this cafe because Shimeko told me that they were famous for their Caffe Americano’s, Kunikida’s go-to drink at the Uzumaki Cafe. I could already smell the coffee from down the street and in my excitement, I turned to look at Kunikida, hoping to see that he was just as excited as I was. But just when I was about to open my mouth to talk, I was interrupted by the sound of Kunikida’s cell phone ringing.

Before I could stop him, he reached into his pocket and picked it up.

“Hello?” he answered, his tone professional.

He frowned.

“Ah. Yeah. Yes, I understand.”

He nodded.

“Rest assured, I’ll have it done by noon tomorrow. Alright, then.”

He hung up, pocketed his phone and took out his little green notebook. Without slowing his pace or looking up at the street ahead, Kunikida took out a familiar black fountain pen from inside his blazer and wrote something down. I waited apprehensively for the scratching of the pen to subside before asking my question.

“Uh... Kunikida-san?”

“Hm?”

He glanced down at me, his gray-green eyes calm.

“Yes, Kusunoki-kun?”

I tried not to make a face.

“...what are you doing?”

“Writing myself a reminder,” Kunikida replied, tucking his notebook back into his blazer. “That was a client I’d just picked up a few days ago. He wants me to follow up on a report.”

“Is... is that what you were doing?” I asked, sweat dripping down my temple. “Are you trying to—”

“Oh, don’t worry, Kusunoki-kun,” Kunikida replied crisply, glancing back up ahead at the road. “This isn’t technically work. Yosano-sensei told me everything, so please rest assured, I will do everything in my power to relax.”

But I could already see the way his hand twitched in his pocket, wrapping around his phone.

“R-right...”

I tried to put a smile on my face as the cafe came into view.

“I understand. As long as you’re not actually doing any work and you stay relaxed, okay?”

For both our sakes—Yosano really seemed like she meant it when she said it would “be on my head.”

But little did I know my troubles were only beginning.

“It’s not technically work.” But it wasn’t “technically” fun, either.

When we got to the cafe, I was forced to watch as Kunikida grilled the barista on everything from the beans they used to the temperature of the roast, only giving up when the terrified young man offered to give him a discount on his order in place of divulging trade secrets. I was too embarrassed to step in and say anything, much less be seen with him (or worse, asked to take responsibility as his kohai), so I just stood there quietly in the back and waited for my latte and chocolate croissant until it was over. As soon as it was, I ushered Kunikida out with the promise of a nice quiet stroll in the park, all plans of staying for a pleasant chat in the small, but atmospheric shop gone.

I could never show my face in that cafe again.

Luckily, the park was relatively empty and we were able to find another bench to sit on pretty quickly. I was half-wondering if it would be too much to offer him a bite of my croissant (wouldn’t me taking a bite after be an indirect kiss?! Could I really be so bold?!) when I looked to my right and realized he was writing in his notebook again.

“Kunikida-san...” I asked dully. “What are you doing?”

“Taking notes,” Kunikida replied. “I managed to figure out a few things from my conversation with the barista.”

“...About coffee?”

Kunikida paused for a moment.

“Not quite,” he said. “Something he said reminded me of a case I was working on last week and I think I might have a new lead to give to the police officers working with me. I thought I’d write it down before I forgot.”

He closed his notebook and picked up his drink.

“Besides,” he said, taking a sip. “It’s good to wait a few minutes after exercising to enjoy food or beverages like this. It’s better for your stomach.”

“Right...”

And on and on it went.

When we got to the bookstore for the poetry event, the first poet was late. It seemed he was nursing a hangover and so, Kunikida just had to take him aside to lecture him on his professionalism. Surprisingly though, the drunkard actually thanked Kunikida for verbally tearing him a new one and we left the shop with a couple of free copies of the man’s most recently published work.

I wasn’t sure if I could say anything or not because this “technically” wasn’t work either (and I wasn’t going to say no to free books).

Then, when we were walking on the street to do some window shopping (I was secretly hoping to take Kunikida to a nearby stationary store I’d discovered), we heard a piercing shriek. A woman was being robbed in broad daylight right in front of us! At once, Kunikida sprang into action, chasing down the thief and leveling him with a flying kick to the back. Then, while my mentor was using his Ability to produce a set of handcuffs to secure the thief, I got the woman’s purse back and stayed with her until she calmed down. It was only after the police arrived that I realized I had been pulled into Kunikida’s workaholic antics this time.

I slapped my hands over my face and groaned.

Well... At least Yosano didn’t say I had to refrain from doing anything work-related... Not verbatim, anyway. But how was I supposed to just stand aside and do nothing when I was a member of the Armed Detective Agency, myself?

Several people walked away from me as I tightened my grip over my face and heard my groan change into a soft, pained whine.

Perhaps Yosano was right. If I spent enough time with Kunikida, perhaps I would turn into a four-eyed workhorse as well. My vision was already getting fuzzier than before. But that was probably from the stress...

Letting out one final sigh, I peered through my fingers at the large, slanted windows ahead, watching tiredly as Kunikida leaned against the railing and gazed out across Yokohama Bay, his expression placid as he watched the ships go by.

Well...

I felt my cheeks warm as I saw a tiny smile cross his face.

At least one of us seems pretty relaxed right now.

Smiling softly, I hoisted my bag over my shoulder and walked towards him.

“Enjoying the view?”

“Yeah.”

Kunikida nodded, the smile never leaving his face.

“It’s really something when the weather’s nice,” he said, still staring out across the water. “I’ve been up here before but never on a day like this.”

I faltered.

“You’ve been here before?”

Kunikida nodded again.

“I have,” he said, his gray-green eyes flicking down to me. “Shortly after I joined the Agency. Ranpo-san insisted on coming up to see the view and, well...”

He chuckled softly.

“I think you know how he is with directions.”

I made a face.

“Yeah. I remember.”

Hoping to chase away the flashbacks of the stressful day I’d spent in Edogawa’s company, I turned towards the window as well, my smile only returning when I spotted the Yokohama Bay Bridge in the distance, shining like a beacon in the harbor.

Kunikida was right.

It really was a beautiful view...

“By the way, Kusunoki-kun...?”

“Hm?”

I glanced back up.

Huh?

Kunikida was looking at me. Directly at me. In a way I wasn’t quite sure he’d ever looked at me before.

I felt my heart begin to race as he tilted his head slightly, his expression pensive.

“Something I noticed earlier,” he said haltingly.

His gray-green eyes raked up and down my form and at once, I felt my face grow warm. Kunikida rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly and spoke.

“You seem a little taller than usual today,” he pointed out, glancing back down at my shoes.

His eyebrows drew together.

“Do you normally wear heels on your days off?”

“Oh. Uh...”

I tucked a stray lock of hair behind my ear and smiled shyly up at him.

“Not... really,” I mumbled, looking away.

Even though I’d chosen reasonably short heels, it was that much harder to look at him when our faces were a lot closer together than before.

“I used to,” I answered truthfully, “back when I was still a student...”

I trailed off for a moment as a distant memory slowly resurfaced in the back of my mind—a memory of being dragged down the streets of Motomachi by an old friend.

A memory from “before.”

I closed my eyes and breathed out.

“You see... I had this friend,” I recalled, smiling softly. “She was a part-time model—always insisted we both look our best whenever we went out into the city. You know, because ‘we were young’ and ‘why not.’”

I glanced down at my shoes, a pair of reasonably tall wedge heels I’d picked out on that very shopping trip.

“And that usually meant wearing heels...”

I leaned forward and propped my arms up on the railing, staring out the window at the shining, blue waves.

“I think I last saw her a year ago but it feels like it’s been much longer...”

I grew quiet and dropped my gaze, my eyes following the lines of a couple of sailboats as they slowly drifted in towards the pier. I felt, rather than heard, Kunikida falling silent beside me.

“I see,” he murmured, after a pause.

For a moment, we just stood there, staring out across the harbor together and solemnly watching the ships go by. As time slowly passed, I heard Kunikida’s soft exhale from somewhere near my left and I thought heard him mumbling something under his breath. His voice was soft.

“It really does, doesn’t it...?”

I blinked.

“Kunikida-san?”

And as I lifted my face to look at him, Kunikida glanced down at me and rubbed his chin, looking thoughtful. Then, he dropped his hand.

“Kusunoki. Come here for a second.”

I balked.

“Huh?”

And before I knew what was happening, Kunikida suddenly took my hand.

Kuni/Kyou Theme

He quietly pulled me away from the bay-facing windows.

I instantly went red.

“Kunikida-san?!” I sputtered, stumbling after him as we made for the opposite side of the observation tower. “W-where are we going?”

“I have something I want to show you,” the tall detective replied, without glancing back. “Follow me.”

Falling silent, I followed, trailing after him like an obedient puppy as we walked around the center section of the observation deck.

I couldn’t take my eyes off his broad back.

This was nothing like the time he’d saved me from Akutagawa at the art gallery...

Back then, his hand had been around my wrist, his grip as strong as an iron vise, the air around us filled with smoke and dust and fear. Today, his hand was wrapped loosely around mine, his fingers curling softly around my palm, his touch radiating warmth and tenderness. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think his hand was maybe just a touch sweaty.

But that didn’t make sense.

I felt something stirring in my chest as Kunikida led me past a rather cozy-looking couple, walking hand in hand towards the bay-facing windows.

If Kunikida’s hand was just a little sweaty while he was holding mine... wouldn’t that mean he was a little nervous...?

And if he was a little nervous...

I felt my heart skip a beat in my chest as a crazy thought crossed my mind.

Wouldn’t that mean that Kunikida might possibly like me back?

But before I could figure out if it was my hand that was sweaty or his, Kunikida stopped walking and let go.

My palm tingled.

“Over there,” Kunikida said, guiding me towards a specific window.

He pushed me forward by the back of my shoulder and pointed to a spot in the distance.

“Take a look at that spot to the southwest. Do you see something familiar?”

“Something familiar?” I repeated, curious.

Kunikida nodded as I walked forwards, towards the windows.

Putting my hands on the railing, I leaned forward, squinting ahead into the distance. Then, I spotted a familiar red-brick building in the midst of a forest of gray and white.

I gasped.

“It’s the Agency!”

“It is,” Kunikida said proudly, striding forward to stand next to me. “I still remember the day I first saw it here, after I’d just joined.”

He glanced down at me, looking pleased with himself.

“Ranpo-san challenged me to look for it. Said that the first person to spot it got free drinks from the vending machine from the losers. He won easily, of course, but we didn’t really mind. As you can see, not much has changed since then.”

“No kidding,” I laughed, taking a step back.

Smiling, I looked up at my mentor.

“Kunikida-san. Thank you.”

This time, it was Kunikida’s turn to blink.

“For what?” he asked, looking amused. “Showing you this?”

“For always taking such good care of me,” I said, quickly looking back at the ADA building as my face grew even warmer. “A-and for showing me this.”

There was a pause. And then, I heard a quiet laugh.

Shocked, I whipped my head to the side just in time to see Kunikida put his hand over his mouth. He quickly coughed and looked away, cheeks going pink.

“Actually, Kusunoki,” he said quietly, “I should be thanking you. Yosano-sensei told me you volunteered to help take my mind off of work today and I can tell you’re putting in a lot of effort.”

He glanced back at me, his smile growing just a touch sheepish.

“You’ve really come a long way since the day you started with us, haven’t you?” Kunikida asked, his gray-green eyes warm.

I...

I thought back to everything that had happened since I was first rescued by Dazai and Kunikida. I thought about the Entrance Exam, dodging Kyouka and parrying Yasha Shirayuki with a pair of office scissors as my handcuffs finally broke. I thought about the serial kidnapping case, the Tanedas sitting in the interrogation room as I backed away, my chair clattering loudly in the cold, empty room. I thought about pulling Edogawa out of the pot in the ground in the collapsed house. Dazai patting my head in the office, warm sunlight streaming in. Akutagawa, chasing me around the parking garage as I ran for my life, a single plastic lighter gripped tightly in my hand. Professor Matsuyama and his wife, each visiting the grave of their beloved friend, confessing their perceived sins to me, a complete and total stranger.

I swallowed dryly.

“I guess I have...” I mumbled quietly.

A warm hand descended on my shoulder.

Kunikida nodded. He looked proud.

“You did well... Kusunoki.”

My heart skipped a beat.

Was this it?

I felt my grip tighten on my bag. My hands felt clammy with nerves.

Was this the moment? We still had half the day to go and I hadn’t even given him the lunchbox but...

This mood...

I felt my lips part.

Everything suddenly felt just right.

“Kunikida-san...”

“Hm?”

He still hadn’t taken his hand off my shoulder.

“I...”

I steeled myself.

Here goes nothing...!

“I...!”

Something suddenly chimed loudly in the gloom. I froze.

“Uh, what’s that noise?” Kunikida asked.

His hand slid off my shoulder as my pocket continued to ring.

Shit.

As quick as I could, I jammed my hand deep into my pocket and seized my phone. The ringing stopped at once.

“It’s my alarm,” I mumbled, embarrassed.

I couldn’t look him in the eye.

“I, uh...”

I squirmed.

“I set this alarm for lunch hour,” I said, tugging the strap of my brightly colored bag a little higher over my shoulder. “It seems we weren’t able to stick to the schedule, what with everything that happened.”

“Oh...”

Kunikida suddenly went red.

“I’m... I’m so sorry, Kusunoki-kun!” he groaned, slapping one large hand over his face. “For someone like me to be unable to stick to a proper schedule—and a schedule my kohai set up for me on a day like this...!”

Grimacing like he was physically in pain, Kunikida took his hand off his face and bent forward at a perfect ninety-degree angle bow.

“Please forgive me!”

“I-it’s really nothing!” I stammered, also going red.

I waved my hands in front of him in an attempt to get him to snap out of it.

“P-please, Kunikida-san... Please get up, people are going to stare...!”

“You’re right,” he exclaimed, instantly straightening up. “Causing a ruckus in public would bring shame to the Agency!”

Pushing his glasses up his nose, he turned away from the windows and swiftly walked towards the elevators.

“Come, Kusunoki-kun, let’s go have lunch. I promise, from now on, I will do whatever it takes to stick to your schedule.”

“Y-you don’t have to be that strict with it,” I stammered, chasing after him as he headed for the center of the room.

Crap. Should I have been more strict with it?!

“It’s okay! As long as you’re relaxing...!”

“I appreciate your flexibility,” Kunikida said, shooting me a curt, professional nod as I caught up to him. “Once again, you have my thanks.”

And as the light above the elevator doors lit up at last, Kunikida suddenly turned to me and cleared his throat.

“By the way...”

I looked up and instantly flinched. Kunikida had suddenly gone as white as a sheet.

“Do you mind not telling Yosano-sensei about the thief we stopped earlier?” he asked. “She said that if she caught me doing any kind of work today on my ‘day off,’ she was going to dissect me in a way that would ensure I would never have any problems with my body again.”

I instantly went rigid, my thoughts going straight to the memory of Yosano raising her machete above my head.

I swallowed nervously and shot him a watery grin.

“Y-you got it.”

Kunikida breathed a sigh of relief.

“Thanks, Kusunoki. I owe you one.”

But I shook my head.

“Don’t worry, Kunikida-san,” I told him as the elevator doors opened.

I followed him inside and grinned up at him as the doors finally closed.

“I won’t say a word.”