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eyebawll · 3 days ago

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﹥*:ꔫ:*+ﾟ SALLY WILLIAMS INTERP & HEADCANONS ﹥*:ꔫ:*+ﾟ

DISCLAIMER: There are MENTIONS of ASSAULT/SA, ABUSE, THE AFFECTS OF ABUSE AND GROOMING ON A CHILD, and OTHER DARK AND TRAUMATIC THEMES. This is my depiction of Sally as a Psychology student myself, as well as someone who's faced horrified trauma that has led me to feel similar to her. This is how I see everything in my Slenderverse with realism, and some of it is HIGHLY SENSITIVE. I WILL NEVER write anything inappropriate with Sally—while she is in her 60s-70s, she is coded to be a child. She is still, in many ways, a child. I am simply expressing certain things that have stunted me as a child and as a growing young adult, and simple fears even I have (i.e being preyed on as I feel very young despite aging). Any requests with NSFW in regards to Sally, or any other child character, will be ignored and you will be blocked. As always, dark themes should never be glorified or romanticized. A/N: cannot find the artist of the picture, as it was taken from pinterest with no direction. please guide me to the artist so i can credit them! this is a bit messy in some parts, i'm running on very little sleep and raw passion. more is to be added, but right now, enjoy this part of my interp! questions/asks are welcome! as are requests ^^

ORIGINS

Sally died sometime in the early 1960s, between the ages of 8 and 12. She was abused, assaulted and murdered by her uncle—an act her family buried under silence and denial, typical of the era. Her body was never properly mourned, her parents never pressed despite the grief they felt for their daughter's death. Her soul, fueled by pain and betrayal, remained.

Slenderman found her soon after. He did not consume her. Instead, he took her under his protection, as something akin to a daughter. He’s the one who planted the seed of revenge in her—rather, who encouraged it further, guiding her through her first kill. Her uncle, though, was on her own, and quietly, he shaped what she would become.

They visited her grieving parents in a dream-like state, whispering words of, for the most part, false comfort: that Sally was at peace. That she was loved. In truth, Sally was never at peace. She became something else. But she didn’t want them to become burdened with that truth.

Now, decades later, Sally is no longer an innocent ghost. She is a warped spirit of vengeance—childlike in form, elderly in mind, and twisted by years of bottled-up grief, jealousy, and madness. Though she once protected children, she now walks a fine line between protector and abuser, and even she doesn't always know which side she’s on.

PSYCHOLOGY + PERSONALITY

Sally's spirit has continued aging emotionally, though she is locked eternally in the body of a child. She carries over 60 years of grief, confusion, and emotional maturity within a form that denies her every aspect of growth.

She suffers from severe emotional regression, slipping between innocent play and bitter adult cynicism, often within the same conversation. Although, in some forms, she is extremely wise, as she would realistically be a woman in her 70s.

Though this stunted existence causes her deep psychological anguish, it’s not only rage she feels. Sometimes, she finds comfort in the regression.

Acting childish gives her a break from being a monster, from being ancient, from being angry.

She plays. She giggles. She twirls in her dress. She sings songs she hasn’t forgotten. Sometimes, she forgets she ever died.

It’s a defense mechanism

She has episodes of dissociation where she convinces herself she’s still 8. 9. Maybe 10. That she has living parents. That she’s normal.

During these episodes, she may act the way adults always expected her to act: polite, sweet, a perfect little girl.

If someone praises her during these moments, tells her she’s “so well-behaved” or “such a darling,” it triggers an unsettling sense of peace.

“Good girl.”

She smiles. Just like she did before the blood. Before the screaming. Before she remembered who she really is.

These dissociation states can last minutes or hours. The longer they go, the more disturbing they become. The switch back to reality is often violent: She might start crying uncontrollably or violently lash out when the illusion breaks.

The dolls that danced in her hands fall to the floor. Her laugh turns to screams. Her voice distorts. She may begin repeating phrases like:

“I didn’t mean to be bad.”

“I was a good girl.”

“He said I was special. He said I was special. He lied!”

Sally also has a warped sense of self-perception.

She doesn’t always see herself as others do. In reflective surfaces, her appearance shifts. Sometimes she sees herself as a child. Sometimes she sees herself as she thinks she would’ve looked at 20 or 30. Sometimes she sees nothing at all.

She hates mirrors. She covers them. Breaks them.

The mix of regression and dissociation can make her eerily unpredictable. One moment she’s acting out a tea party with full sincerity—

“You’re invited! I made cookies and tea and finger sandwiches!”

—and the next, she’s dragging a body into the woods. Silent. Dead, far-away eyes. Her dress soaked in blood.

Romantic longing has become a point of rage. She once adored love stories, fairy tales, and old musicals. Now, she despises them—despises romance itself. Anyone who shows her affection is met with suspicion, hatred, or violence. She harms or kills those who "look at her wrong," typically men, even if they meant no harm.

She envies others who can grow, love, and experience intimacy.

This envy has curdled into resentment, especially toward other proxies or creepypasta figures who display affection toward each other.

Her relationship with Slenderman is complex. She calls him “Daddy.” He is her only constant. She loves him—but there are days she hates him too.

She feeds on fear, especially from children she originally sought to protect. The more twisted she becomes, the more this feeds her. She has become a hungry, restless soul who thrives on terror.

Has developed intense religious trauma stemming from her death. She was raised Catholic, likely taught to pray as a child—told that God would save her, that angels were always watching. When her uncle raped her and took her life, and no divine force intervened, that belief shattered.

Now, she harbors a deep hatred for Christian symbols, angels, and all things labeled “pure” or “holy.” She sees them as liars—decorations for the blind.

If she sees religious imagery, she’ll destroy it. Bibles go missing. Statues crack. She mocks prayers. She spits at crosses.

If someone around her refers to “salvation” or “being saved,” she often goes silent then starts laughing.

Although fueled with hatred for religion, specifically Christianity, she carries around a rosary that her mother gifted her. It’s all she has left of her aside from her teddy bear. Sometimes she wears it, but she will harm, or even kill, anyone who touches it.

Sally has an unstable temperament—she flips between giggling innocence and explosive rage. She may play dress-up or sing lullabies one moment and threaten someone with violence the next.

She mocks romance, love, or anything “cute” others do. She especially lashes out when others around her fall in love.

Deeply jealous. She loathes being seen as lesser, dismissed, or “just a kid.”

She tries to act mature but always ends up acting out in twisted, childish ways—mocking, mimicking, or escalating others’ emotions.

Despite all of this, there is still something soft buried in her. Something tired and lonely. But it rarely surfaces anymore.

She still protects some children—but even that instinct has grown dark. The protection has become possessiveness. And she feeds on their fear as much as she does their gratitude.

While rarer, she is close with few. Few men are safe to her, and seen as older brothers, or anything similar. She’s most comfortable with women, though.

DISTURBING TRAITS + CONDITIONS

C-PTSD. Depression. Age regression. Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD).

Chrono-Identity Dissociation: Sally sometimes forgets which decade she’s in. She might reference presidents, commercials, or news stories from the ‘60s as if they’re current. Other times, she recites modern internet slang wrong, like a child mimicking what they don’t understand.

“Rizz, right? That’s…that’s what they say now when someone loves you?”

Death Envy: She becomes jealous of people who die properly. If she finds someone who’s passed away in peace, she sometimes screams at the body, or curls up next to it like it’s unfair.

Post-Mortem Hallucinations: She sees ghosts that aren’t real—imaginary victims, false parents, twisted versions of herself. Some she talks to. Others she mimics.

“My mommy said I can’t talk to you anymore. She says you’re not real. But she’s not real either.”

Ritual Obsession: She needs to do certain acts the exact same way every time—brushing her doll’s hair 100 times, humming a lullaby three times before a kill, blinking in patterns. If interrupted, she becomes erratic or violent.

Identity Projection: She often projects her trauma onto others, including children she saves. If a girl she’s “rescuing” talks back or doesn’t act grateful, Sally screams that she’s “just like her” and starts crying.

Narrative Delusion: She thinks her story is being watched or read. Sometimes she addresses “the reader,” believing someone is listening, or watching her—someone who might change her ending.

“You’re still here, aren’t you? Please…don’t write me like this anymore.”

Hyper-Politeness: Even when killing, she may still say things like “please” and “thank you,” in a sing-song voice.

“Please stay still. I don’t want to hurt you more than I have to.”

“Thank you for screaming. It makes me feel better.”

Faux Innocence: Sally weaponizes her appearance and childish behavior to confuse or lure victims, especially abusers. She pretends to be lost, scared, or mute until it’s too late.

“Will you help me? My uncle says I’m a very special girl…”

Emotion Imitation: She copies emotions she sees in others—especially happiness—without truly feeling it.

Laughs too long. Smiles too wide. Says “I love you” in a flat tone just to see how it feels.

Mock therapy talk: She repeats therapy phrases she’s overheard but distorts them:

“I’m valid. I’m allowed to feel this way. I’m allowed to hurt people who hurt me.”

Revenge Fantasies Played Out as “Games”: She reenacts scenes from her own death or imagined abuser deaths with her dolls, using them as surrogates in horrifying ways. She has favorite dolls she uses only for punishment reenactments.

APPEARANCE

Hair: Medium to light brown, long and unkempt with faded ribbons or mismatched bows. Often tangled. Sometimes bloodstained.

Eyes: Large and bright green, though they can become hollow and glassy. When angry, they seem to glow faintly.

Skin: Pale, nearly porcelain, with a slightly waxy texture. Cold to the touch.

Outfit: Usually wears a 1960s-style pink dress, frilled but worn down by time. The hem is torn short; the bodice stained with old blood. Wears white socks and scuffed black Mary Janes. She changes sometimes, no one understands how. No one asks. Carries an old teddy bear named "mama", as it was a gift from her.

Voice: Soft and high-pitched when calm, distorted and echoey when enraged. Her laugh often doubles over itself like a broken tape.

Small, petite frame. About 4"11.

HABITS

Feeds on fear, particularly from abusers and children who are “bad.” Her definition of “bad” is…slippery.

Collects dolls, especially broken or discarded ones. They appear around her randomly—sometimes watching, sometimes twitching.

Sings nursery rhymes or old 1960s jingles when she’s upset or preparing to kill.

Destroys romance-related media: she tears up books, slashes movie posters, sets fire to old love songs she used to enjoy.

Mocks romantic affection between proxies or other entities—especially if she suspects she’s being left out.

Carves hearts into trees or walls, then crosses them out violently.

Plays with her victims before killing them, especially those she believes “deserve it.”

Sometimes goes still for hours. No blinking. Just sitting and watching.

Visits her own grave on the anniversary of her death and leaves broken toys there.

Carries "blankets" that are old clothes of her victims: Sometimes even children’s. Worn soft and thin. She strokes them absentmindedly like comfort items.

Licks or Chews Her Fingers When Nervous: Sometimes until the skin peels. Sometimes while watching someone sleep.

Buries “bad” victims in dollhouses: She keeps shrunk-down belongings or burned scraps of victims in tiny furniture she’s arranged in twisted dollhouse sets. She calls them “time-outs.”

Watches People Sleep: Especially those who remind her of herself. She just stands at the end of the bed. Staring. Breathing softly.

Leaves Teeth Behind: Not her own. Just one per victim. Always clean, always somewhere meaningful to them.

Sings Songs from Different Eras: A medley of The Supremes, nursery rhymes, and TikTok audios, all mashed into one soft, tuneless hum.

“Stop, in the name of love, before you break—London Bridge is falling—bing bong bing bong~”

Has “Pretend Birthdays”: She’ll suddenly declare it’s her birthday and demand attention, gifts, or a party. If she doesn’t get it, she may become violent. She’s had over 60 birthdays and remembers none of them clearly. She can't remember her real birthday.

“It’s my birthday. You forgot. That’s mean. You’re mean.”

Let's be real. She steals Jeff's alcohol, or anyone else's. She smokes, drinks heavily, etc. Anything an adult would do—it makes her feel grown, when she never can be. Her anger allows her to manifest as close to human as she can, but it drains her energy—being drunk or anything of the like weakens her, cutting that short.

RELATIONSHIPS

SLENDERMAN

Her “Daddy.” The only one who stayed. The only one who came for her when her real family didn’t.

She both adores and resents him.

She often curls up next to him silently when she’s breaking down. He never speaks. She likes that.

He never punishes her, even when she kills recklessly. Instead, he watches…possibly even encourages.

She thinks he loves her in his own inhuman way—but she’s never sure. Sometimes she asks him:

“Do you love me? Or am I just your pet project?”

She fears disappointing him. And she’ll do horrible things just to feel that approval.

She hates seeing him care for others too much. It brings out her jealousy.

Jeff

They’re siblings in spirit. Jeff understands rage. He understands being “broken early.”

She’s one of the few who can scream back at him and he lets her. That makes her feel powerful.

Sometimes they fight. Sometimes they just sit in blood-stained silence, cooling off.

She mimics his laugh when she’s spiraling. He hates it. But he never tells her to stop.

Deep down, she feels safe around him—not because he’s good, but because he’s predictable. He’s always Jeff.

They sometimes kill together. She treats it like a game.

She becomes sad when he's distant some days, but she understands.

She sometimes gives him advice.

Eyeless Jack

Quiet comfort. She likes that he doesn’t talk much. She finds the black voids where his eyes should be…calming.

Jack doesn’t treat her like a child. He treats her like a ghost. She respects that.

Sometimes she sits near him during dissections and just…watches. He doesn’t mind.

She confides in him in rare moments—things she doesn't tell Slenderman.

They have an eerie peace between them. If she breaks down near him, he lets her scream until she stops. Sometimes, she lets him hold her.

Smile Dog

She talks to Smile like a real pet. She pets him. Cuddles him. Sleeps near him when she’s afraid.

Smile seems to understand her differently—not with words, but presence. She tells him things like:

“You’re the only one who doesn’t lie.”

He protects her from others when she’s overwhelmed.

She sometimes whispers secrets to him like a diary.

When she doesn't want him to, he doesn't speak. It scares her, oddly enough.

BEN

They bicker like siblings, but it’s playful. He teases her, she screams at him.

They bond over being lost souls, even though he pretends not to care.

He sometimes tries to cheer her up with dumb glitchy visuals or pixelated flowers.

She secretly looks up to him.

Occasionally plays games with her. It ends in yelling. She throws the controller. He laughs.

Jane

One of the few people Sally truly respects and trusts.

She sees Jane as strong, protective, and still beautiful—everything Sally wanted to grow up to be.

Jane reminds her of a mother. That’s dangerous. She tries to push her away when it gets too intense.

Jane sometimes brushes her hair or talks her down during episodes. Sally never thanks her out loud.

She desperately wants Jane’s approval but pretends not to care.

If Jane’s in pain, Sally goes feral trying to “protect” her.

Nurse Ann

A rare source of calm. Ann knows how to treat emotional wounds. She never infantilizes Sally.

Sally allows her to treat her—physically or emotionally—without fighting.

She brings her tea during regression episodes, tends to her bloody knees, and listens when Sally babbles nonsense.

Sally sometimes calls her "Nana." Only when she's really hurting.

If anyone mocks Ann or tries to harm her, Sally takes it personally.

Clockwork

A mix of admiration and confusion. Clockwork is intimidating, wild, but always composed.

Sally wants to understand her, but doesn't always know how.

She likes Clockwork’s laugh and her confidence, but doesn’t like her unpredictability.

Still, Clockwork never talks down to her—and that matters.

Masky

Sally is terrified of Masky.

It’s the mask, not the man. She can’t see his face, can’t trust his silence. It reminds her of people who watched her and did nothing. Even if unmasked.

His sudden movements and lack of visible expression trigger her.

She won’t enter a room he’s in unless someone she trusts is there.

Hoodie

Also triggers fear. The camera lens, the mask, the silence—it all feels predatory. (It isn't. It's the fear.)

She doesn’t know him well. That makes it worse.

Sometimes she hallucinates Hoodie standing in her room even when he’s not there.

When he’s around, she goes quiet and stares at the floor. She feels watched. Vulnerable.

Toby

Deeply unsettles her. The mask, the tics, the erratic movements remind her of things she doesn't understand—and doesn't want to.

She can’t tell what he’s feeling, and that terrifies her.

Has only spoken to him twice. Once to ask him not to come near her. Once to scream.

Even when he tries to be kind, she flinches. It’s not him. It’s the energy he gives off.

Lazari

Best friends. Sisters, even.

They’re inseparable, often seen holding hands, draping over each other, or sharing a blanket like it’s second skin.

She's a constant presence. If you see Sally, Lazari is rarely far behind—either trailing her or dragging her off to play.

Tea parties in every room, from dusty corners of the mansion to bloodstained basement floors, they set up mismatched cups and cracked plates, pretending they’re normal girls.

She's gentle during Sally’s dissociation. When Sally regresses or enters a delusional episode, Lazari knows not to push. She brushes her hair with slow, steady strokes. Picks out frilly dresses for her to wear, and even softly sings lullabies from Sally’s era. Sometimes just sits near her in silence, offering her presence without pressure.

She's protective—but not possessive. Lazari isn’t controlling. She knows Sally needs her space sometimes, especially after breakdowns. She waits patiently outside doors or leaves small items as comfort offerings—like ribbons or candy.

They talk about EVERYTHING. She tells her everything.

Shared trauma, shared peace. They rarely talk about what was done to them. But when they do, it's in short, jagged phrases. They understand without needing details.

“Did it hurt?” “Yes.” “Same.”

They use mock-normality as a coping mechanism. They talk about crushes they don’t really have, plan weddings they’ll never get to have, and give each other fake birthday parties with candles stuck in old muffins.

Lazari grounds her. She can sometimes stop Sally from spiraling just by grabbing her hand and saying,

“You’re here. You’re safe. I’m real.”

Shared acts of vengeance. They’ve hunted abusers together. Their kills aren’t always clean—sometimes they cry afterward, sometimes they laugh. Sometimes, they even play with the corpses, or in the area they killed them in.

Sally always makes Lazari promise she won’t tell Slenderman if Sally breaks a rule.

They talk about the afterlife. Lazari sometimes tells Sally stories about what she thinks happens when humans really die, forgetting Sally's situation. Sally listens like a child at a campfire, eyes wide. She’s scared.

“Do you think we’ll be together forever?”

“If we’re not, I’ll find you.”

They have an unspoken language. They have eye signals, coded gestures, and unfinished sentences that only they understand. Sometimes they start giggling before they even say anything. It unsettles the others.

Although, there is occasional codependence. Sally may cling too hard when she's spiraling—sleeping in Lazari’s bed, hiding behind her during fights, or refusing to eat unless Lazari is there. Lazari never scolds her for it.

There's feral loyalty. If someone hurts Sally—physically or emotionally—Lazari will make them regret existing. Even if Sally says she’s fine, Lazari knows better.

They call each other by pet names. Sally calls her "Lala." Lazari calls her "Sal-bug" or "Dolly". The names started as jokes. Now they’re comfort.

They’ve promised to never leave each other. Sally has trust issues with nearly everyone…except Lazari. She believes her.

“Even if I turn into a monster?”

“Then I’ll sit next to you. We’ll be monsters together.”

Sally never really acts like an adult around her. She hardly even gives her advice. With Lazari, she feels young again...truly innocent. Even if her father is one of the most powerful overlords of what everyone calls "hell". She'd rather be friends with a demon than an angel. Because at least a demon cares for her.

Although terrified of most, Sally is close with some. The men she refrains from don't take it personally and leave her be. Slender often even makes them leave so his little girl can get some peace. Their shared theme song is Ptolemaea by Ethel Cain, definitely.

DEPRESSING SECTION

Over the decades, Sally has attempted to pursue love. Not out of lust or desire—but out of a deep, gnawing yearning to feel something normal. To be like the girls she watches on TV. To feel wanted.

These attempts are always short-lived and tragic. The moment someone shows her affection—especially adult men—her trauma screams. She remembers what she is, how she looks, and what they see. Her grief turns into self-hatred, and her self-hatred turns into rage.

Every time, it ends in death. She kills them. Sometimes mid-embrace. Sometimes after. Often in tears.

Her guilt afterward is immense. She isolates, lashes out at others, and falls deeper into her bitterness toward love in general.

She does not allow herself to be loved anymore. If anyone shows affection, she becomes violent or withdrawn. It’s not flirtation—it’s a trigger. She will only ease around the few she feels safe with, or any females.

She now hates romantic themes entirely, destroying any hint of love she finds around the Mansion. She mocks others who fall for each other, but her scorn masks envy.

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nyc-tophile · 8 hours ago

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𝐄𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐄𝐒 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 | Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier x fem!reader

After helping Bucky face his past, you began to break through his walls—until a nightmare unraveled his progress and pushed him into silence. Despite the distance and pain, you stayed, offering quiet support. And one night, as he sat beside you, something unspoken passed between you. The fragile beginning of trust. But nothing is ever peaceful for long, and you know that.

Warnings: OOC Winter Soldier, comfort, SFW, fluff, angst.

Author’s Note: I apologize for the late post; I wanted to take a day to relax from writing. I’m also really sorry if this part sounds rushed. I was trying to get it out as soon as possible because I didn’t want to keep you guys waiting. I hope you guys enjoy it still, and any feedback is appreciated <3

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐎𝐋𝐃𝐈𝐄𝐑 𝐌𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 | 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝟓 | 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝟕

It had only been a few days since you talked with Bucky. You thought things were going well, and the two of you had settled into different routines that seemed to work.

Your mornings started late, you’d wake up, head to the kitchen, make coffee, and eat something simple. Bucky, on the other hand, was always up by 5 a.m. You’d find him outside on the patio, just sitting there, staring straight ahead.

With two coffee cups in hand, you slid open the patio door, set one cup down beside him, and placed the other on the opposite side of the table before taking a seat.

“How are you?” you asked, turning to face him, then to the trees surrounding you both.

He didn’t answer right away, sitting in silence until he finally said, “Trying to figure out life.”

You understood. Going from being held captive for most of his life, forced to kill, to now hiding in a secret mountain safehouse after surviving a fall from a train, it was a lot to process, a difficult bite to swallow.

You nodded slowly, taking a sip of your coffee, your eyes drifting to the sunlight filtering through the leaves. It was calm and quiet. The only sounds were the gentle flow of the river and the soft hum of insects nearby.

“How about we do something today?” you asked, turning to face him. You noticed his eyebrows draw together, his mind elsewhere.

“Steve said we can’t leave unless something happens,” he replied, turning to face you now, his expression once again serious and unreadable.

“Yeah, well, I know that. But I was organizing some things in the living room, and I saw some board and card games we could play!” you chirped.

Bucky glanced at you, his expression unchanged, but his eyes lingered a second longer than usual.

“Board games?” he repeated, as if the concept was foreign. Maybe, in some ways, it was.

You gave him a small smile, nudging the cup of coffee closer to him. “Yeah. Not exactly a covert op or anything, but... It’s something. Better than sitting around in silence all day, right?”

“I don’t remember how to play most of them,” he admitted quietly.

You shrugged. “We’ll figure it out. I mean, I doubt I’ll be amazing at it either. But that’s kind of the fun part.”

After a moment, Bucky finally stood, taking his mug with him.

“Alright,” he said. “Show me these games.”

You blinked, then smiled as you followed him inside, something light and unfamiliar beginning to settle in your chest. It wasn’t joy exactly, not yet. But it was close. Hope, maybe. Or something like it.

You led the way back inside, the warmth of the sun fading into the cool stillness of the safehouse. The floor creaked softly beneath your steps.

Walking to the stand beneath the TV, you pulled out different colorful game boxes, stacking them in your arms before moving to the center of the room. You sat cross-legged on the rug, scattering the games out in front of you.

You glanced up and motioned for Bucky to join. He did, slowly, lowering himself onto the couch with hesitant movements, his eyes scanning the boxes in quiet curiosity.

You picked up a deck of cards and started shuffling them.

“Go Fish?” you offered lightly.

He raised an eyebrow. “That’s a real game?”

You grinned. “As real as it gets.”

The first few rounds were stiff. Bucky moved like he was still waiting for a command, like playfulness was a foreign language. But you didn’t rush him. Each glance he gave you lasted a little longer than the last, the tension in his shoulders gradually easing.

That’s how the rest of the day went—the two of you switching between different games.

Your laughter filled the house as you taught him how to play UNO, watching his face twist in confusion as he tried to understand why he had to pick up twelve cards.

That’s what it was like for the next few days; it became a routine. Morning coffee, quiet afternoons, the occasional card game or two. He was still reserved, but he stayed near. And that was something.

-----

Then came the night it all changed.

It was late, the kind of late where the world feels suspended. You’d just stepped out of the shower, the air cool against your damp skin, your hair dripping quietly onto the wooden floor.

The house was wrapped in stillness. Even the trees outside were silent.

You moved through the hallway, bare feet padding against the floorboards, and sat on the edge of your bed. Towel in hand, as you rubbed your hair dry, letting the comfort of routine calm you.

You thought of Bucky, how he’d scowled earlier while trying to learn rummy, grumbling about the rules just before laying down a perfect hand without realizing it. The sound of your laughter, his reluctant smile… it lingered like warmth in your chest.

You exhaled quietly, the memory warming your chest. You folded the towel over your lap, settling into the calm.

Then you heard it.

A sharp, guttural scream tore through the quiet night. Your heart jumped into your throat.

Without hesitation, you dropped the towel to the floor, feet already moving. The hallway blurred around you as you sprinted toward Bucky’s room, the sound of your heartbeat pounding louder than the creaking floorboards beneath you.

You found him tangled in the sheets. His chest heaved with ragged breaths, sweat glistening on his forehead. His eyes were open, caught in the grip of a nightmare that refused to let go. He muttered something you couldn’t quite make out, words in Russian, broken phrases that made your skin prickle.

Then, suddenly, too fast to react, his arm lashed out, metal fist swinging blindly in panic. It struck your cheek hard, a flash of white-hot pain exploding behind your eyes.

You staggered back but didn’t fall. Didn’t yell. Didn’t run.

One hand pressed to your stinging cheek, the other outstretched—calm, steady.

“Bucky,” you said softly. “It’s me. You’re safe. It’s just a dream.”

Everything stilled.

His eyes focused, recognition piercing the fog. Then came the shame. The horror.

He collapsed backward, trembling, eyes avoiding yours like the weight of what he’d done was too much.

From that night on, everything shifted.

-----

Bucky became quieter. Not the quiet of someone at peace, but the heavy, weighted silence of someone waging a war inside his head. The tension in his shoulders never fully relaxed, and his gaze often drifted, distant, haunted, like he was still trapped somewhere he couldn’t escape from.

It wasn’t just the way he flinched at sudden sounds or how he’d stop mid-step if he caught a glimpse of his reflection in a dark window. It was the way he seemed to fold inward, shrinking from touch, from comfort.

Simple things became triggers. A dropped spoon would send a shiver down him, his whole body rigid like he expected an attack to come next. The worst were the shadows, late at night, when headlights passed the window just right, and the flicker made him freeze like prey in the dark.

-----

One evening, you were sitting at the kitchen table, folding laundry, lost in the soothing rhythm of the task. The smell of warm cotton and detergent filled the room.

Then came the sound.

A plate crashed onto the floor behind you. The noise sending a jolt through your spine.

Bucky stood frozen by the counter, hands shaking, eyes wide and glazed. His chest rose and fell in short, sharp bursts. His knuckles were white where they gripped the edge of the sink.

You didn’t speak right away. You didn’t need to. You moved to him slowly, carefully, resting your hand lightly on his arm.

He didn’t flinch, but he didn’t look at you either. Just kept breathing like he was trying not to fall apart.

You stayed there with him, silent. A steady presence in the wreckage of a moment.

-----

Day by day, you adjusted. You walked more softly. Shut drawers more quietly. Left the lights on in the hallway so there were fewer shadows. You paid attention to his body language, the way his jaw clenched, or how his hand would twitch when the silence got too loud.

You didn’t ask questions he couldn’t answer. You didn’t push him to explain what he was feeling.

Instead, you offered something gentler. A hand brushing his when you passed each other. A warm meal was left waiting on the stove when he didn’t join you for dinner. The quiet reassurance of someone who wasn’t leaving.

There were nights when he’d snap, his voice sharp, his words clipped, his frustration bubbling over into anger aimed at nothing and everything. You never took it personally.

And other times, he’d disappear into the corners of the safehouse, places where the walls felt far enough apart to breathe. You let him go, knowing he’d return when he could.

But you never left. Not once.

You offered silence when words failed. Held space when his grief and guilt grew too loud to bear. And in return, he started to lean, just a little.

Not in big, obvious ways. But in the softest ones.

A brush of his fingers over yours when he passed you a mug. A lingering look that held more than he could say. The way he sat a little closer some nights, his shoulder nearly touching yours.

It wasn’t a fix. It wasn’t a cure. But it was something.

And in that slow, quiet way, he began to trust you again, not fully but one breath, one step, one moment at a time.

-----

It was well into the night now. You sat alone on the couch, eyes watching the soft dance of flames in the fireplace.

Your mind wandered through memories. The day you first saw Bucky, the fragile beginning of trust, the card games, the laughter, the nightmares.

But also the progress.

You heard his footsteps approaching from down the hall, slow, hesitant. You didn’t move. Didn’t speak. You just stayed there, eyes fixed on the flickering fire.

Then, you felt the weight of the couch shift as he sat down on the opposite side.

The quiet night wrapped around the two of you like a blanket. The fire cast a gentle glow across the room, its light dancing over his face.

He didn’t say anything. Neither did you.

But somehow, the silence wasn’t heavy anymore.

His shoulder rested just close enough to yours that you could feel the warmth of him, not quite touching, but near. Present.

It wasn’t an apology. It wasn’t a promise. But it was something.

And in a life where so much had been stolen from him, where so many nights ended in pain or panic, this stillness, this choice to sit beside you, was a beginning.

You glanced over at him once, just for a moment.

He was staring into the flames, jaw relaxed, expression unreadable—but calmer than before. The haunted look he so often wore had softened, just barely, like the shadows in his mind had quieted for the night.

You didn’t speak. You didn’t need to.

Instead, you leaned back into the cushions, letting the silence settle, warm and full.

For the first time in days, you both just existed, together, in the same space, breathing the same air, sharing the same silence.

And maybe, just maybe, that was enough for now.

You didn’t know what the future days would bring, whether the weight he carried would rise again, or if this peace would hold.

But as the fire crackled low and his presence remained beside you, something in you reminded you that he was still trying. And you were still here.

-----

It was the next day, the morning started slowly and quietly; the sun filtered weakly through the cabin’s windows, casting pale light over the quiet room. You sat at the small kitchen table, cradling a warm mug of coffee, the steam curling lazily upward. Outside, the forest was still, serene, and untouched.

Bucky stood by the window, eyes scanning the trees beyond, his metal arm resting on the windowsill. The quiet had become a fragile comfort after days of restless nights and silent fears.

Then, the satellite radio crackled sharply in the corner, breaking the stillness. Static hissed for a moment before Steve’s voice came through, low and urgent.

“This is Rogers. We’ve got a situation. Hydra’s been tracking the signal from your safe house. They’re moving in your direction. Natasha’s on her way up, but stay alert.”

Your heart jumped. You exchanged a glance with Bucky, whose jaw clenched tightly. The faint flicker of steel in his eyes was back, that cold, hard edge beneath the man you’d come to know.

“Fucking Hydra” you said, annoyance lacing your words, setting down your mug

For the first time since arriving here, it felt like the past was closing in again, but this time, you wouldn’t face it alone.

You moved quickly but carefully, the weight of Steve’s warning settling heavily between you. Bucky was already gathering the few weapons stored in the cabin, old pistols, some knives, and the rifle Steve had left behind. His metal arm flexed, a familiar but still unsettling sound in the quiet room.

“I’ll check the perimeter,” Bucky said, voice low, steady. His eyes met yours, and for a moment, you saw the conflict inside him, the soldier trained for battle, and the man trying to protect what little peace he’d found.

You nodded, your fingers tightening around the edge of the table. “I’ll stay inside and keep watch. If they come, we won’t be caught off guard.”

The silence stretched between you, no longer weighted by fear, but by unspoken understanding.

Outside, the wind picked up, rattling the windows. Bucky moved toward the door, pausing just long enough to let you see the resolve in his gaze. “Be careful.”

You gave a small, encouraging smile. “I will, I promise.”

The door shut softly behind him.

Alone, you turned toward the fireplace, the flames flickering uncertainly in the growing dusk. Your mind raced, memories of past fights, losses, and the fragile hope you’d found here.

And yet, beneath it all, a fierce determination blossomed. Not just to survive. To protect each other. To rebuild from the shadows.

Because whatever Hydra’s coming for, they weren’t getting you without a fight.

The cabin felt smaller somehow, the walls pressing in as the silence stretched. You paced slowly, the weight of the rifle heavy in your hands as you moved from window to window, eyes flicking over every shadow, every trembling leaf outside.

Time seemed to warp, minutes stretched like hours, and your breath came shallow, barely louder than the crackling fire behind you.

A sudden crack, a twig snapping underfoot, made you freeze. Your heart hammered as your gaze snapped toward the door.

Footsteps. Someone was out there.

You gripped the rifle tightly, knuckles whitening.

Then, the sound of quiet movement by the back window. You shifted cautiously, careful not to make a sound.

“Bucky?” you whispered, voice trembling.

A figure emerged from the trees, Natasha. Her presence was a comfort, sharp and focused, her eyes scanning the surroundings with practiced precision.

“It’s just me, relax, Rogers said, Hydra’s close,” she said softly, moving inside, already assessing the cabin’s defenses.

You let out a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding.

Bucky appeared behind her, silently sliding the door closed, his eyes locking with yours for a brief moment, the unspoken promise of protection and trust shining there.

“We’ve got this,” was all he said.

You trusted him, but something in the air had shifted.

A stillness that felt too deliberate.

Natasha moved through the room without a word, checking the locks, peering through the corners of each window like she’d done it a hundred times. Bucky remained near the door, rifle slung over one shoulder, his posture rigid.

Bucky didn’t move, eyes locked on the trees. You stepped closer to the glass, heart pounding. Nothing. No sound. No wind. No birds. Just silence.

Then, Bucky tensed, and Natasha froze.

You didn’t see it yet. But they did.

That’s when you knew, Hydra had found you.

join my тαgℓιѕт -

@avgdestitute, @chimchoom, @xoxo-moonlight, @justanotherlonelybard, @spring-soldier, @vyviiennestar

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sinsxo · 1 day ago

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not when it’s you. —nagi seishiro

based on this request.

note. i hope this was able to lift your burdens and comfort you. you're not and will never be complicated for being yourself — for being human. so sorry it's so short though.

synopsis. nagi comforts you after a break-up.

cw. drabble, fluff, break-up, hurt/comfort.

wc. 0.5k words, not proofread.

nagi’s been looking staring at you a lot more lately. even in public, like now, in the middle of the quiet little cafe the both of you were sitting in.

you’d catch him doing it. and he wouldn’t even look away.

just kept his eyes on you with that expression — somewhere between concern and quiet care. you could never quite figure out which.

the break-up was still a sensitive topic for you. you hadn’t told him the full story, and he never asked.

but it was obvious. anyone could see it was eating you alive. the hurt. the anger. the constant ache of frustration.

what nagi couldn’t tell was whether you were mad at your ex or mad at yourself. and that was the part that scared him.

he didn’t want to assume. but asking felt just as dangerous. like it would reopen the wounds.

he didn’t want to watch you bleed out again — the way you did when the wounds were still fresh — when you texted him at midnight to pick you up from the park and cried all the way home in his passenger seat. when you went MIA for a week, ignoring messages, breaking down at 2am over sad playlists and shared memories.

he watched you break. did what he could to piece you back together. stayed, when you didn’t know how to ask.

so when you finally broke the silence and asked, “seishiro, do you think i’m lovable?” his heart shattered a little.

you noticed his stare and sighed, “you’re doing it again.”

he frowned slightly. “i know. but… what kind of question is that?”

you just shrugged, like it didn’t matter. “i don’t know. i just… i don’t know how to work on myself.”

“what’s there to work on?”

you arched a brow. “i mean, i’m moody. i overthink. a lot.”

“isn’t that normal?” he asked, casually taking a sip of his drink.

“not really. at least, that’s what i’ve been told.” your voice softened. “i keep feeling like i’m either too much or never enough. maybe he was right. maybe i am complicated.”

“you’re not,” nagi said quietly. “he was just too simple-minded to understand.”

that… made a weird kind of sense. but still, it was hard to believe.

“i don’t even know why you dated him,” nagi mumbled. “he looked weak. like he couldn’t handle even a little emotion.”

you let out a short, awkward laugh. “emotions are a lot. i’m a lot. so why do you even stick around me despite all that?”

nagi leaned back in his seat and stared at you again — not blankly, but like he was really seeing you.

“that’s what makes us human,” he said. “handful or not, complicated or not… it’s not a hassle to care about someone. not when it’s you.”

his voice was calm, almost lazy — but his words weren’t.

“life’s always gonna be complicated. but being with you… makes it worth it.”

all images, aside from the dividers, do not belong to me. credit belongs to their original creators on pinterest & xhs.

#nagi seishiro #seishiro nagi #nagi seishiro fluff #bllk #blue lock #nagi seishirou #seishirou nagi #bllk nagi #nagi seishiro blue lock #seishiro nagi blue lock #seishiro nagi fluff #bluelock #bllk x reader #bllk imagines #seishiro nagi x reader #bllk seishiro #🍒 ˎˊ —silk.#🍒 ˎˊ —cherry's works.

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jjonqseob · 4 hours ago

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spicy dating mingi headcannons

pairing: bf!mingi & f!reader

genre: smut

tws: this is pure smut (i'm too lazy to name everything)

author's note: i'm so, sooo sorry for the wait. also, i got a little bit too carried away with this one... but i hope this is what you were hoping for, anon! btw, all this came out of my head, i'm so sorry i just love this man so fucking much. and as always, ignore if there are any grammatical errors or i might die fr. eng is not my first language. MDNI!!!

i think every time would be like the first, he'd say something like "stop laughing! you're making me even more nervous!" because despite being a couple for so long, he always gets nervous at first, but then... yeah…

he's a damn switch (u can't change my mind ab this). do you want to top him? of course. do you want him to top you? of course. but he would enjoy being a subby more... although he might never admit it.

it's incredible how easily he gets turned on and fucking hard. did you kiss him on the neck? he's already getting a damn boner, and don't even get me started when you sit on his lap. it might be a tender moment, but if you move, even just a little bit, you'd feel a bulge underneath you.

he LOVES you touching him. your hands feel so good, no matter the context. he just loves how your little hands feel on him. are you walking hand in hand? are your hands in his hair while you kiss him? you're sitting on the couch, and you let him lie on your lap? he just loves your touch and having you close.

i also feel like he'd always be open to trying new things with you, both because he loves you and out of simple curiosity. besides, who knows? maybe he'll discover something new he likes.

dirty talk. he's SO into that it's embarrassing. If you're on your knees in front of him, looking at him with those big, pleading eyes, he won't be able to help but say, "open up. let's see how much can fit today that pretty mouth of yours." if he's eating your pussy, he won't stop saying how delicious you taste, how beautiful all the cute sounds are that come out of your lips while his tongue works rigorously on your needy cunt. and if he's fucking you, my god, he'd never keep quiet, he'd always point out how good it feels like your insides squeeze his cock with every thrust, how wet you always are for him, how well you take every inch like the good, pretty good girl you are.

this man moans a lot. don't ask me why, but i know. it you give him a short, little kiss, he'll let out a small moan. if you pull his hair while you're kissing? yes, a moan. and don't even talk about when he eats your pussy. he'd moan more than you.

and the last point brings me to this next point, we all know mingi is a pussy eater, i even feel like it's kind of obvious (he told me himself cause we're besties, duh) he just loves watching you squirm when he uses his mouth on you, you squeezing his head with your legs, the way you pull his hair, burying his face even more between your legs, the way you cum in his mouth, the mess you made on his face… and of course he would swallow everything.

this man is SOOOO into recording or taking pics of both of you while: you jerking him off, you give him a blowjob, you ride him, and recording himself while he eats you out? he's definitely gonna jerk off with that damn video while he's on tour (*cof, cof* link…)

he's so needy… but like, always. i feel like sometimes he wouldn't even notice. like when he rubs his morning boner against your ass while he's half asleep, or when a simple kiss turns into a shower of moans (obviously from him), he just enjoys it too much, but can you blame him? he's just so in love, and he loves you so much, and you turn him on so damn easily.

slaps. yeah… but he likes to receive them, and if you're riding him? good lord, do you want to kill him? you, riding him so well while he looks at you with that silly, lovelorn, aroused expression before feeling a soft, warm hand hit his cheek, followed by your lips against his... one day, you'll kill him. ALSO, maybe he's also into choking… receiving and giving, but more than receiving cause he's a damn freak.

loves LOVES watching his cock slide into your pussy, how you take every inch so well, how your ass bounces with every thrust, he could cum just watching you.

he's… quite big, and he knows it, and when he sees how your eyes get watery from trying to take his cock completely down your throat it makes him feel dizzy, you just drive him crazy in the best way possible.

he likes creampies. i mean, watching your pussy drip with his cum just makes him want to fuck you until you're completely filled, but something about cumming all over your ass cheeks just makes him... tingle. your ass was already perfect, bouncing and colliding against him with every thrust, and now it's painted white because of him? you really want him to shove your face into the mattress again and fuck you doggy style until you're shaking, don't you?

one word, mirrors. we all know that mingi loves watching himself, but watching himself fuck you from behind? watching every expression you make, how your tits bounce with every thrust, how you hold on to the sink, trying to stay standing, and he can only see that if he looks in the mirror, but when he looks down, yeah, your cute, perfect ass bouncing as his cock slides inside you. and if it so happens that you both end up in a motel, he'd make sure you have one of those rooms that have mirrors on the ceiling, on the sides, everywhere, he just loves to see himself, and what he loves more than seeing himself, is seeing you.

and he's the king of aftercare, no matter if he was rough with you, or if you were rough with him, mingi will always ask you how it was, if he did well, if you felt good, and then he would clean you up with all the love in the world, or even carry you to the bathroom for a relaxing bath together, and of course he would offer to soap your back, but his hands would always go... elsewhere.

#ateez x reader #ateez fic #ateez smut #ateez fanfic #ateez #ateez mingi #mingi x reader #mingi smut #song mingi #mingi #song mingi x reader #song mingi x you #mingi x you

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da-janela-lateral · 10 months ago

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I'll never get people who don't watch MP100 exclusively for the artstyle because what do you mean? Do you think he is ugly? Do you have an adverse reaction by looking at him? Would you rather have Generic Anime Prettyboy #368637 blessing your eyes with conveniently handsome dullness for 37 episodes? Never speak such things. He is perfect the way he is.

#I could have made one of my usual huge texts using arguments about how ONE's artstyle is pretty cool #and how its unusual quality contributes both to convey the story and has many advantages #like how expressive it is despite being simple #also I stand for the idea that refusing to watch something because of an artstyle is just being weak #how else will you defend “creative art” if you can't handle different visuals <- was in the jjba trenches #but yeah. mob is very very cute to me okay #mp100 #mob psycho 100 #shigeo kageyama

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quartzitess · 4 months ago

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Repost.

Lots of text and ramble in tags.

(Sadly tags are not enough to express how I feel on this. So I'll try and maybe add more in a reblog tomorrow.)

#osc #object shows #tpot #twonut #tpot two #bfdi donut #Q-z art #couldn't find my old post of this my guess is cause i deleted it.#the distance of this drawing and what i draw now almost shows a huge shift in interest #and what kind of dynamics im inlove with now #this work still holds alot of value in my heart. because it reminds me of simpler times #admittedly i was alot happier than i am as of now #that damn pudding was my magnum opus #though im definitely the inventor and i feel no.1 fan of rootyshine (no competition ofc). it almost shows to any ogs who've followed my twt #- or tumblr. kinda got to see how much i grew as an artist. and how I'll continue to grow. even now im still learning #twonut was my start in loving rarepairs. and rootyshine is as if right now. my very favorite. my no.1 pick even #fun fact i used to switch around with hc two as tsmasc or tsfemme. really i was never consistent #theyre dynamic to me was something along the lines of. “god x some guy” kinda thing #it was funny. it was simple. and it was everything i could've ever needed at the time #quite alot. as seen in the pilot. she also seems like someone who can get very emotional in a sense. not in a way where she only cries #but generally shes very strong when it comes to expressing how she feels. and despite being someone who people rely on alot. aswell as #deeply look up to. shes flawed in how she carries herself #and that speaks to me alot. its what made me fall inlove with her character. even if it isnt something thats expressed in the pilot all much #as for shiny shes someone who almost parallels rooty in a way. shes also someone who holds herself to a high expectation.#almost to a point where she can feel diminished when she cant control how well she does. and can also be emotional with how she carries -#- herself. though she seems like someone who has a harder time really expressing it. shes has more restraint than rooty i feel #but that restraint comes with a consequence. she feels like someone. (even if the pilot showed she was just under pressure) -#that can have trouble when it comes to actually expressing certain emotions (maybe when it comes to apologizing or admitting her faults)#and with that. its one example of how they clash. and i could go on and on.#*first text i went one was about rooty. dunno what happened the part that specified it was abt might've gotten deleted. idk.

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roots-symphony · 5 months ago

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what if natalie is an affair eagan?

#severance #natalie kalen #idk if this has been thrown out there before or if it even makes sense #but I was thinking about natalie (as one does)#and like how she clearly does not like the paintings any more than milchick does but while it’s (I’m guessing) going to be the start of his #breaking point and eventual allegiance switch #the same cannot be said for natalie #idk how long ago she received hers but it’s clear (despite her /actual/ feelings) that it hasn’t changed her… goals? career ambitions?#I can’t think of the word I mean but hopefully the meaning still like. comes through #and the expressions she pulled after giving them to milchick. it’s almost like she’s trapped in a way #and I know ppl think she might be severed. which definitely possible. I’m also still unsure to lean fully into that #idk it’s possible that whenever she has the headset in she’s severed and when she doesn’t she’s not #but I just don’t think it fully fits with what all her deal is (I need to rewatch her scenes again before I even try to fully articulate #why that is because rn my head is just like full of disjointed observations)#but anyway so then I started thinking about how it kinda reminds me of how helena herself is trapped by the eagan name/expectations/legacy #and idk i just wonder if it really is that simple (while also being way more complicated)#txt

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sapsolais · 1 year ago

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#ouagh. :']#ok. i am a simple thing. i'm just a guy y'know. and i try #i try to be kinder to myself i try to be kind and change for the better!! but this is hard but i've been doing well #i'm not as anxious as i once was and this is great. but Sometimes #yeah.#i'm a simple guy with simple occasional worries yk #and one of those things happens to be maybe #not being enough or being too much at the same time y'know #and i caught myself worrying so i was like hm maybe i will look at my nice pile of reminders and nice things #and so i remembered that i love. like a Lot. and i love my friends so So much #and i do my best to express this as often as i can right! and i thought about how it might make me feel #if despite all that my love could not reach a friend when they need it most #that they might forget (it's not their fault)#but in remembering this it helped Me be like. Oh. yes i am loved. don't forget so easily #whew. this whole trusting thing is hard. but man i am sooo good at this and i'm doing great #anyways. i feel much better #and also proud of myself for genuinely being able to reassure myself. it's always felt more like #“well we've Gotta keep going” as opposed to “yeah actually. it's okay” does this make sense #it feels as if i've made n held onto something solid as opposed to waiting for something like that 2 come along #sap says #well. goodnight :]

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3liza · 6 months ago

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last time my mom visited I was talking to her about parenting and how I appreciated a lot of the choices she and my father had made about raising me and my brother and she agreed that just listening to the child and taking them seriously was the One Weird Trick to cutting out like 60% of conflicts between parents and children. and she said one time I was about three or four years old and we were all going to the grocery store, and at the threshold of the store I just had a meltdown. i was overwhelmed, I was crying, I was just at the end of my rope like kids get sometimes. and instead of dragging me through the store my mom and dad stopped what we were doing and just asked me what the problem was. and I was able to say I didn't want to be there, I couldn't do it, I wanted to go home. and she says she and my father just looked at each other and back at me and said "okay" and we all went home that day instead of forcing the grocery store trip. and I had so few public meltdowns as a kid despite being pretty autistic because, I think, I knew that if I ever really needed to leave, my parents would understand and back me up. and that was the case throughout my childhood. which paradoxically (one might think) resulted in me having fewer incidents of being overwhelmed in the first place, which then made me better able to handle increasing amounts of stress and so on. it also taught me that expressing feelings and communicating them to my caretakers wasn't going to be punished or ignored or called weird, so unlike many other autistic kids who get judged or rebuked for expressing sensitivity or opposition, I didn't need to constantly blockade everyone and internalize everything all the time.

it's a pretty simple concept whether your kids are autistic or not, but most parents don't seem to get it. their parents taught them to just force everything and let the child deal with it alone so they just repeat the cycle even though they know how it feels.

#blog #this also works on dogs btw

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daryltwdixon · 4 months ago

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Summary: You and Tommy had been trying for a baby for years. When a trip to the gyno answers questions you didn’t even know to ask, your husband enlists the help of his one and only brother.

|| smut MDNI 18+, pinv, no outbreak, talk of infertility, not cheating but def not exactly kosher, baby makin', breeding kink, dirty talk, size kink, boundaries being crossed || notes: forgive me father for I have sinned. this is filthy. but also thinking about a part 2. kinda sorta maybe inspired by some crazy reddit stories. you'd be surprised how many there are like this LOL

You knew this was a crazy idea. Batshit crazy, actually. You were aware. But maybe, just maybe, if you spun it the right way, if you framed it with enough love and logic, it wouldn’t seem so absurd.

See, the thing is, you and Tommy had been trying for a baby for years. Trying and, well, failing. It wasn’t until your last visit to the OB-GYN that a simple question—"Has Tommy ever been tested?"—sent everything spiraling. A few weeks of waiting. A single piece of paper. An answer you never expected. It wasn’t you. It was him.

Not that you’d ever blame him. You loved him too much. But no matter how many old wives’ tricks you tried: holding your legs up after he emptied himself into you, orgasms before and after, cinnamon and honey in your morning tea. Nothing could change the fact that no amount of effort would make it stick.

Which brings you to now. Sat at the kitchen table in your quaint, cozy home with Joel across from you, a few glasses of wine deep. His expression was somewhere between exhausted and mildly entertained from whatever dumb story Tommy had been telling. You’d needed a glass yourself, just to steady your nerves.

And then Tommy popped the question.

Joel blinked once. Twice. His mouth opened, then shut again, then opened just enough for a noise, somewhere between a scoff and an incredulous laugh, to escape. He shifted in his chair, pushing back just slightly, like he needed to physically distance himself from what he was hearing.

“You…” he started, then stopped. Shook his head. “You want me to—?”

He didn’t even finish the sentence. Just motioned vaguely, like the words were so ridiculous they refused to come out of his mouth.

Tommy sighed, his grip firm around your hand while the other wrapped around your shoulders. “Yeah.”

Joel exhaled sharply, eyes darting between the two of you, like maybe, just maybe, this was a joke. That you'd all start laughing and point at him with a big 'got ya!'. His lips parted slightly, his forehead creased.

“You’re serious.”

“We wouldn’t ask anyone else,” Tommy said, voice steady.

Joel let out a breathy laugh, hollow and disbelieving. He dragged a hand down his face before pressing his palms against the table, fingers splaying out like he needed to brace himself.

“This ain’t a normal conversation to be havin’ over dinner, Tommy.”

“We know.”

“Do you?” Joel snapped, finally looking at his brother again, his voice sharper now. “Because I gotta tell ya, it really don’t seem like you do.”

“This ain’t easy for either of us,” Tommy said, his voice steady despite the tension winding between the three of you. “But we wouldn’t ask anyone else. We want to keep it in the family, so…the baby would still be related to me.”

Joel’s jaw tensed. His fingers gripped the stem of his wine glass like it was the only thing keeping him tethered to reality.

He looked over in your direction, but not directly at you, just at the table. At your hand in Tommy’s.

“And you’re…okay with this?” His voice was different now. Lower. Measured, like he was afraid of the answer.

You nodded. “We’ve talked about it. A lot. Ever since the results came back, we’ve been weighing options, and this—” You hesitated, swallowing, trying to gauge if he was even absorbing a single word. “It makes the most sense. More than adopting. More than a stranger. It keeps things in the family.”

Joel’s jaw clenched, his ears tinged pink. He still wasn’t looking at you.

Not until you said his name. Soft. Careful.

His eyes flicked to yours, just for a second. Just long enough for you to see everything—the disbelief, the sheer what the fuck of it all—before he dropped his gaze again, shaking his head.

“You don’t have to decide now,” you said gently, exhaling softly. “Just… take some time to think about it.”

Joel didn’t respond.

A few minutes later, he left. No joke, no small talk of the next Sunday night football game could cut through the weight pressing down on the room. Just a stiff nod, a muttered see ya, and the quiet sound of the door closing behind him.

The following Sunday, it almost felt like the conversation had never happened.

The three of you sat at the sports bar, watching the Cowboys play on the massive screens, the air thick with the scent of beer and fried food. Tommy was his usual self, shouting at the refs, leaning into Joel’s shoulder every time the score tipped in their favor. Joel, on the other hand, was harder to read. He was relaxed enough, beer in hand, his usual dry remarks slipping out here and there, but there was something quieter beneath it all, something you couldn’t quite put your finger on.

Not one mention of a baby. Not a single word about what you’d asked of him.

And maybe that was his answer.

When your husband got up, throwing out the excuse of takin’ a leak, the energy between you and Joel shifted. Not in a way you could name, just… thicker. More noticeable.

He sat a seat away, the empty barstool between you like a buffer neither of you had the nerve to close.

You tried to let it roll off your shoulders, but as you sat there, your mind wandered. What if Joel had said yes? What if it worked? Would the baby have his dark eyes, that heavy, thoughtful brow? Would they get that serious little crease between their eyes when they were thinking? His thick hair, his strong hands?

Tommy would still be their father. That was what mattered. That was the whole point. But the idea of seeing traces of Joel. Subtle things, the shape of a nose, the curve of a smile…

The thought sent a strange, unfamiliar feeling curling in your chest.

It hurt, his lack of an answer, of course it did. But how could you blame him? You were asking for too much. Asking him to do something unnatural, something messy, something that could never be as clean and logical as you and Tommy had tried to convince yourselves it was.

You swallowed, setting your drink down as the silence stretched. “Listen, Joel—”

“I’ll do it.”

It was quiet. Like he wasn’t sure if he meant to say it out loud.

Your breath caught, as you stared at him, mouth agape. The side of his face gave nothing away as he kept his eyes on the TV as you waited for some kind of smirk, some sign that he was messing with you.

But he wasn’t.

Joel kept his eyes averted, like this was the kind of thing a person could say without looking someone in the eye. He took a long drink from his bottle, then set it down with a dull thud.

“You and Tommy deserve this,” he murmured, rolling the glass between his palms as he stared down at it. “To have a kid.”

Your heart constricted at the sincerity in his voice.

He exhaled, shaking his head slightly. “My life is better ‘cause of Sarah. Don’t think I ever told Tommy that outright, but… it is. I’d love to see him get to have that too.”

You blinked. “Are you…” Your voice was barely above a whisper. “You serious?”

Joel turned to you finally, his eyes meeting yours for the first time since last week before you dropped the bomb on him, “Yeah.” he said finally, “Yeah, I’m serious.”

He was clearly uncomfortable, clearly still working through it, but the fact that he said it at all, that he meant it... that was more than you expected.

To be honest, you knew the baster idea wouldn’t work.

Not that you’d ever say it out loud. Not to your very loving, very kind, very hopeful husband. But deep down, you were pretty sure that by the time Joel had taken care of himself, transferred it into a container, driven it over, and you’d sat back on the bed with your legs up, whatever needed to be alive in there was long dead.

You didn’t bring it up. Couldn’t. Not when Tommy was trying so hard to make this work.

Across from you in the kitchen one morning, another negative pregnancy test sitting between you, your husband sighed, rubbing a hand over his jaw before reaching for his mug, “If I ask you somethin’,” he murmured, voice low, hesitant, “will you tell me the truth?”

Your eyes flicked up to his. “Of course, baby.”

His hand rested on the granite, fingers close enough that you reached out, tracing them lightly with your own. His eyes drifted down to your delicate touch against him.

Then, he exhaled slowly and cleared his throat.

“Do you think we should try…” His fingers twitched under yours. “Ya know. The old-fashioned way?”

For a second, the words didn’t land.

Not until you saw the way his eyes found yours and he was looking at you—serious, thoughtful, like he’d been turning it over in his head for longer than he wanted to admit.

You blinked. “What do you mean?”

Tommy sighed, pressing his lips together before setting his coffee down. “I just think… for it to stick properly, we might need to try somethin’ more… natural.”

Your mind reeled. Heat crept up your neck, flushing your skin before you could stop it.

The idea of being with another man…

Tommy saw it. The way your lips parted, the way your breath caught just slightly.

He stepped closer, smoothing his hands over your cheeks, tilting your face up toward his.

“Only if you were comfortable with it,” he assured, voice gentle, steady. “I’d never ask you to do somethin’ you didn’t wanna do.”

You swallowed hard, still trying to process. “I—I don’t know, Tommy.” Your voice was barely above a whisper. “And Joel would flip out if we asked that of him.”

Tommy hummed, thumbs brushing over your cheekbones. “Yeah, he might.”

Might was an understatement.

Joel was over the following day to help with your bathroom remodel, a project the brothers had taken on during the slow season. You were busy finishing whatever odds and ends you needed to get done upstairs when you heard his voice traveling through the house.

Not just his voice, but the volume of it.

“Are you outta your goddamn mind?!”

The sound rattled through the house, shaking the walls as you hovered at the top of the stairs, heart pounding.

“Joel—” Tommy’s voice, calm but firm.

“No. No, you don’t get to ‘Joel’ me right now, Tommy, because what you just said—what you just— Christ.” There was the distinct sound of something slamming. A fist on the table? A chair shoved back? You weren’t sure, but it made you wince.

“Look, man, I knew you’d be pissed,” Tommy started, only to be cut off immediately.

“Oh, did you?” Joel’s voice dripped with sarcasm. “You knew I’d be pissed, but you went ahead and asked anyway? Jesus fuckin’ Christ. I’m already crossin’ so many lines with what we’re doin’, and now you’re askin’ me to…to—!?”

You could picture it perfectly: Joel pacing the length of the room, one hand on his hip, the other raking through his hair, winding up, because when Joel was really mad, he didn’t just stand there.

“You’re makin’ it a bigger deal than it is,” Tommy tried, tone even.

Joel let out a sharp, humorless laugh. “Oh, I’m sorry, did I misunderstand the part where you just asked me to fuck your wife?”

Heat crawled up your neck.

“We ain’t askin’ that, Jesus, Joel, don’t talk about her like—”

“You are absolutely askin’ that.”

“It’s not like that.”

“The hell it ain’t!”

Silence. Heavy, tense.

You swallowed hard, gripping the banister, unsure whether to go down there or stay put.

Then, Joel’s voice, lower now, but still laced with disbelief.

“Tell me you didn’t really think I’d say yes to this.”

And Tommy, just as steady as ever:

“I think you wanna say no.” A pause, and you could almost feel the shift in the air between them. “But deep down? I think you’re already considerin’ it.”

Joel let out a slow, sharp exhale, but he didn’t argue.

And a week later, he was back at your doorstep.

There were three rules.

1. No kissing.

That was the hard line, the non-negotiable. Kissing was too intimate, too personal, too close to something else entirely. You could rationalize everything else, strip it down to the mechanics of what needed to happen, but kissing blurred the lines. That made it mean something. And this couldn’t mean anything.

2. No talking about it outside the bedroom.

No slipping up over dinner, no awkward mentions in passing, no weird jokes over a few beers. It had to stay contained. A thing that only existed in a room with the door closed and the world shut out. Because once it bled into the rest of your life, once it became something you acknowledged beyond those four walls. it would become real.

3. No names

No whispered Joel in the dark, he couldn’t say yours while he was inside you. Names had weight. Names had meaning. And the second you said them, it stopped being about a baby.

So when your ovulation window came within the next few days, you found yourself in your bedroom with the two brothers. When Tommy excused himself from the room pressing a kiss to your forehead before heading out to meet his buddies at the bar like this wasn’t the weirdest fucking thing in the world, you turned to Joel

Over the years, you’d come to know him, grown comfortable with him. That familiarity should’ve helped, should’ve made this easier. But sitting here now, alone in the bedroom with him, awkward was an understatement.

Joel sighed, rubbing his forefinger and thumb along his brows as he stood at the edge of the bed. “Guess we better get to it, then.”

You nodded numbly, tucking your legs beneath you on the bedspread, looking up at him.

He was already tense, broad shoulders squared, avoiding your gaze like you weren’t even in the damn room. He exhaled sharply, then, without ceremony, unbuckled his belt. The clink of metal sent a strange ripple through your stomach, but you forced yourself to focus, watching as he shucked his jeans down to his thighs, taking his boxers with them.

Your breath caught.

Even soft as he was at the moment, he was bigger than Tommy. Thicker.

Joel cleared his throat, shifting his stance, one hand bracing against the bedpost while the other wrapped around himself. He wasn’t looking at you. Not even close. His gaze stayed fixed somewhere off to the side, jaw locked, the muscles in his forearm flexing as he started moving his hand.

It wasn’t working.

Minutes passed, the air between you thick and suffocating, but he remained… soft. The tension in his face deepened, brows knitting, his motions growing stilted.

You chewed your lip, watching as his frustration mounted.

“You don’t gotta sit there starin’ at me,” he muttered, voice gruff, like this was somehow your fault.

You exhaled through your nose. “I’m just… tryin’ to think how I can help.”

His hand stilled. “You’re fine. Jus–just give me a minute,”

Then suddenly as the idea struck, you reached for the hem of your shirt and pulled it up.

Joel’s head snapped toward you, eyes going wide. “What’re you doin’?” His voice was sharp, edged in something that sounded suspiciously close to panic.

You hesitated. “Just… thought maybe it’d help.”

“Well, don’t.” His ears were red. “Keep your damn clothes on.”

You huffed. “Jesus, it’s just a shirt.”

He grumbled something under his breath, but let it go, shaking his head like he couldn’t believe any of this was happening.

Another beat of silence, only the sound of skin on skin filling the air as he fisted himself.

“Can I help?”

His gaze flicked to yours, skeptical. “Help how?”

You shrugged. “I dunno. What do you like?”

Joel tensed. “…The hell kinda question is that?”

“A valid one,” you shot back, tilting your head. “C’mon, there’s gotta be somethin’. What do you like?”

He hesitated, shifting where he stood, uncomfortable. You rattled off a few suggestions, some kinks you’d heard of. He barely reacted.

Then finally, one seemed to slap him upside the head, “Do you like dirty talk?”

His entire body stilled.

His eyes finally, finally found yours.

There it was.

A slow pulse of heat curled low in your stomach.

You leaned forward slightly, voice softer now. “What kind of things do you say?”

He didn’t answer right away. Just stared at you, the tension in his jaw loosening, his pupils starting to widen.

“Come on, Joel,” you said, then immediately pressed your lips together, realizing you’d already broken one of your own rules not even five minutes in.

“Sorry—” You exhaled, shaking your head. “But c’mon, do you want me to talk to you? Or what do you usually say to women?”

Joel’s eyes were suddenly burning into you, his chest rising and falling just a little heavier now. He exhaled sharply, remembering himself as his gaze flickered around the room like he wasn’t sure where to land it, like maybe if he didn’t look at you, this would stay clinical, mechanical.

“I uh…” He wet his lips, voice rough. “Usually will tell ‘em they’re bein’ real good for me,” he said, exhaling through his teeth. “Bein’ a good girl.”

The temperature of the room shifted, the air growing heavy, pressing down on you. A slow, pooling ache pulsed low in your belly. His nostrils flared as his eyes found yours again, like maybe he could see exactly what that did to you.

You swallowed, “What else?”

Joel’s hips twitched. He hesitated, his grip flexing around himself, fingers curling just slightly. You caught the bob of his throat, the faint shift of his stance. He was getting there.

His gaze dropped to your mouth. “Tell ‘em how pretty they look on their knees.” His voice had taken on a new weight: thicker, heavier, his drawl rolling low in his throat. “How sweet they sound when they moan for me. How bad I wanna feel ‘em wrapped around me, drippin’ and ready, beggin’ for more.”

The room contracted, the air impossibly tight, each breath harder to pull in. Your skin felt hot, your lips parting as you fought to keep your breathing steady. And you knew your pupils were wide, knew your face was flushed.

Because his was too.

His eyes had darkened, locked on yours, heat simmering beneath the surface. You inhaled deeply, the air between you charged, electric. You reached out, fingers grazing along his forearm. He tensed, muscles flexing beneath your touch, but he didn’t pull away.

“You wanna take this off?” you murmured, voice quiet but sure, fingers tracing up toward the sleeve of his shirt.

Joel let out a slow breath, something flickering behind his eyes, hesitation, uncertainty, but then, after a beat, he reached down and pulled his shirt over his head, dropping it to the floor.

Your gaze raked over him.

Christ. He was the epitome of masculinity: broad and solid, built like something carved from rough earth, from long years of labor and hardship. His chest was strong, lined with thick, dark hair that tapered down his stomach in a steady trail, leading lower, disappearing into the patch just above where he was hardening in his hand.

Your mouth was dry, your pulse a slow, deliberate thrum in your veins.

You lifted your hands to the hem of your own shirt, pausing just slightly. He hadn’t looked away.

“Okay?” you asked softly.

His jaw flexed, gaze dark, unreadable, but after a second, he nodded.

You pulled it over your head, the fabric slipping away, baring more skin than you’d ever thought he’d see.

Joel exhaled sharply, his eyes dragging down your body, heavy and slow, his pupils swallowing the color of his eyes. Your nipples pebbled in the open air, a shiver running through you as his gaze settled there, his breath hitching just slightly.

You reached for him again, fingers trailing along the hard lines of his chest, dipping over the planes of his stomach. He was warm beneath your touch and he smelled like pine and musk and something richer, something leathered and sun-baked. Something distinctly Joel.

He sucked in a sharp breath. “O—okay,” he exhaled, voice rough. “I think I’m… good,” he added shakily, and you could see his body finally catching up to the filth rolling off his tongue, the thick weight of him fully hard now. You swallowed dryly at the sheer size of him in his palm.

Standing slowly, your hands dropped from his body, but your eyes never left his as you slid your pants down your hips and let them pool at your feet.

Bare. You were both bare.

Your gaze dragged over him, from the broad stretch of his shoulders down to his stomach, the solid cut of his thighs, his cock standing thick and heavy between you. It was the most you’d ever seen of him. The most he’d ever seen of you.

And he was beautiful.

Joel swallowed hard, his jaw tight as his gaze traveled over every inch of you. Then, wordlessly, you laid back down on the bedspread, opening your legs for him.

He cursed under his breath.

You caught the way his throat bobbed, the way his fingers twitched at his sides before he climbed onto the bed after you, settling between your legs. His eyes darted down, locked onto the wetness pooling between your thighs, and his nostrils flared.

“All this from just a few sweet words, huh?” His voice was lower now, edged with something amused but dark, something he hadn’t meant to let slip through.

He shifted forward, but you stopped him with a hand to his chest.

“I, uh…” You cleared your throat, suddenly shy. “It’s said that women are more likely to get pregnant if, um… if they orgasm during or… or before, I think.”

Joel stilled for half a second before a slow smirk pulled at his lips. “You doubt me so much?”

The teasing edge in his voice—the cockiness—made some of the tension in your chest loosen. You let out a breathless laugh, your body unwinding slightly from the tension earlier. “I just… I’ve never…”

Something shifted in his face. The smirk faltered just a little. “You’re sayin’ my baby brother doesn’t take care of his own wife?”

“No!” you said quickly, your hand flexing against his chest defensively. “He does, it’s just… I can’t finish just from penetration. Most women can’t, actually.”

“I know, darlin’.”

You gasped as the thick head of his cock suddenly swiped through your slick arousal, and he hissed, pressing his other hand into the pillow beside your head as he leaned over you.

“Fuck—”

His voice was rough, gravelly, wrecked, and something about it made your thighs squeeze around his waist, made the heat coil even tighter in your belly.

Joel lingered there, his cock sliding through your slick, slow and deliberate, teasing against your swollen clit with every pass. The thick head caught at your entrance, nudging just slightly, and a gasp broke from your lips before you could swallow it down.

His jaw ticked, fingers flexing in the pillow beside your head, his body wound tight like a spring.

“This okay?” he asked, voice rough, strained.

You nodded quickly. “Yeah. Yes.”

He pressed forward, just an inch, just enough for you to feel the blunt stretch of him, and your breath hitched.

“Jesus,” he muttered under his breath. “So damn wet.”

Heat flooded your face, but you couldn’t think, couldn’t focus on anything other than how thick he was, how different he was from Tommy. You felt like you were being split in two, but you wanted more. Every inch only made that need, that hunger, grow.

His hand lifted from his cock, skimming over your hip before settling on your thigh, holding you open.

“Gotta take it slow,” he murmured, mostly to himself. “Don’t wanna hurt you.”

You swallowed hard, fingers curling into the sheets beside you. “I can take it.”

His head dropped for a second, a quiet curse slipping past his lips. “Don’t say shit like that, sweetheart.”

Something about that word, the way it left his mouth, low and full of something dangerous, made your stomach clench.

The stretch was slow, unbearable in the best way as he pushed forward even more, your body giving inch by inch, and you let out a sharp exhale as he filled you.

Joel groaned, deep and low, his fingers tightening on your thigh as he finally buried himself to the hilt.

Jesus Christ.

The weight of him inside you, the way he fit...it was overwhelming, taking up every inch of space, leaving you panting beneath him.

“Fuck,” he gritted out, his hips flush with yours now, his jaw tight. “You’re—shit, you’re squeezin’ me so damn tight.”

Your thighs trembled around his waist, your body working to adjust to the fullness, to the sheer size of him, and then—oh god—then he moved.

A slow pull out, a deep thrust back in.

You moaned, head falling back against the pillows, fingers flexing against the sheets.

Joel’s breath was ragged, his grip tightening. “That’s it.”

As he began to set a steady pace, a deep thrust in, a gentle pull out, the tingling sensation you knew all too well was rising fast—too fast. It climbed up your spine, coiling tight, and your breath hitched in your throat. The sensation was familiar, so familiar, but not like this. Not from this.

Joel moved with deep, deliberate thrusts, each one stretching you full, dragging against every oversensitive nerve inside you with agonizing precision. His cock was thick, heavy, unrelenting, pressing deep, pressing right, pleasure licking up your spine like fire.

His hand moved between you, thumb finding your clit with ease, the calloused pad brushing over the swollen bundle of nerves, a touch just firm enough to make you jolt. Your whole body reacted, thighs trembling, an involuntary gasp ripping from your lips.

His breath hitched as he felt it too, and he let out a dark, pleased hum.

“Feel that?” he murmured, his voice a slow, deliberate drag against your skin. His thumb moved again, slick and sure, working tight little circles against you. “Now, what was it you said again?”

Your chest heaved, your fingers gripping at the sheets, at him, anything to keep yourself tethered, because the pleasure was coming in hot, hard waves now, building, climbing, making your skin flush and prickle with heat.

“I—I never—” You gasped, voice breaking, lips parting as your back arched into the feeling, as you felt your muscles tighten and clench under him.

Joel leaned in, lips brushing against your ear. “C’mon, sweet girl. Use your words.”

Your hips met every thrust, dragging a moan from deep in your chest.

“I’ve never—ah!—never come like this before,” you choked out, breathless and desperate.

Joel swore under his breath.

“You’re tellin’ me,” he rasped, voice dripping in absolute filth and sin, “my pissy little brother never made you come on his cock before?”

The shame of it—the filthy, shameless truth of it—slammed into you just as hard as the pleasure. Your breath came in short, stilted gasps, your thighs twitching, heat curling low and tight, twisting like a wire pulled too taut. You gripped his biceps hard where they caged you in, your nails digging into his skin.

“I–”

“Never felt the way you’re squeezin’ the life outta me right now, baby?” His voice dipped lower, rougher, as his thumb pressed, rubbing slow and tight. “Never had you like this? Drippin’ and desperate? Makin’ the prettiest fuckin’ sounds I’ve ever heard?”

Heat flared in your belly, your legs shaking around him, pleasure tearing through you.

Joel felt it, the way you clenched down around him, and he grinned, breath hot against your mouth as he groaned through his teeth.

“Fuck—that’s it. Let me feel you.”

And you did.

Your body suddenly snapped. The orgasm slammed into you, white-hot and merciless, every nerve in your body firing at once, blinding you with pleasure so intense it was nearly unbearable. Your breath punched from your lungs as your back arched clean off the bed, thighs trembling, a cry tearing from your lips as waves of heat crashed through you.

Joel swore under his breath, hips stuttering as you clenched tight around him, and his mouth hovered just above yours, his breath mixing with yours, the air between you thick and electric.

He felt the way your body fluttered around him, still pulsing with the comedown of your orgasm, dragging him deeper, tighter, trapping him. His breath was heavy, coming in sharp, ragged exhales as he dropped his head, his forehead resting against yours.

His hips kept moving quick and uneven, dragging his cock in and out of your still clenching walls. He was throbbing, thick and hot inside you, every roll of his hips sending sharp little sparks of overstimulation through your system.

That was when, after coming back to earth, you saw the way his lips parted slightly, his breath hitching whenever you squeezed around him just right. The tension in his face, the way his muscles coiled and flexed with every deliberate movement.

He was close.

You wondered…

Your breath was still shaky, voice unsteady, but you let it slip out, slow and sultry, testing the waters, “You feel so good,” you whispered.

Joel froze for a split second, a sharp breath punching from his lungs as he reeled his head back to look down at you.

"Does it feel good for you?” you whispered, your fingers trailing up the nape of his neck. “Filling me up? Making me feel so full? So good?”

Joel let out a ragged, wrecked sound, his fingers digging into your skin, gripping you like a lifeline.

And in that moment—fuck the rules.

Because this was anything but clinical now.

You pressed a soft kiss to his jaw, letting your breath fan against his ear as you whispered, gentle, teasing.

“You gonna give me a baby, Joel?”

Joel let out a wrecked groan, his grip on your hips tightening, his pace faltering. His thrusts turned rougher, sharper, his body moving on pure instinct now, chasing it.

And then he snapped.

A strangled moan ripped from his throat as he slammed deep, burying himself to the hilt, his cock pulsing inside you as heat flooded you. His whole body shook, a ragged, guttural sound tearing from his chest as he came, thick and hot, spilling deep, his fingers flexing against your hips like he was trying to ground himself.

You gasped at the feeling, at the warmth spreading inside you, at the way his body shook above you.

Joel was panting, forehead pressed to yours, sweat damp at his hairline, his breath fanning against your lips, warm and unsteady.

For a long moment, neither of you moved.

Joel was still inside you, still filling you, his weight pressing you into the mattress, grounding you. His breath was heavy, warm against your cheek as he turned his head, his chest rising and falling against yours in slow, uneven waves.

“I should, uh…” His voice was hoarse, thick with something he wasn’t naming. He swallowed, clearing his throat as he sat up. “I should probably—”

You shifted slightly beneath him, still sensitive, still pulsing with the warmth of him inside you. Your thighs trembled, the ache delicious, spreading through you like slow heat.

“You can go,” you murmured, voice soft, a little sleepy. “I’m gonna stay here for a while.”

He hesitated as he looked down at you, your bodies still connected.

You blinked up at him, lips curving in a lazy, satisfied smile.

“It’s said that if a woman stays lying down after, it increases the chances of conception.” You hummed, stretching slightly, body still warm and loose. “Just want to give it time to stick.”

You felt him twitch inside you, like his body had just caught up to the meaning of your words, and then he was pulling out, hissing under his breath as he eased away from you.

His heat vanished instantly, and a shiver ran through you at the sudden emptiness, the cool air replacing where he’d been pressed so solidly against you. You exhaled, tugging the covers up over yourself, shifting deeper into the mattress, letting your body sink into the afterglow.

Joel, on the other hand, was already moving, and fast.

He turned away from the bed, running a hand through his hair, reaching for his jeans like he needed them back on, needed the barrier, needed to be done with this.

“Hey,” you called softly as he stepped toward the door, one leg shoved into his pants.

He paused, turning slightly, just enough to look at you over his shoulder.

You blinked up at him sleepily, the blankets pulled up to your bare shoulders, your voice softer now. “You okay?”

Joel hesitated. Just for a second.

His hands hovered at his belt, his fingers twitching. His lips pressed together, like he was weighing his answer, like he didn’t trust whatever was sitting heavy on his tongue.

Then, he gave you a short, stiff nod. “Yeah. ‘M good.”

You hummed, unconvinced, watching the way his chest still rose and fell in uneven breaths, the lingering flush at his throat, the tension in his hands as he buckled his belt like he was fighting something.

“Okay,” you murmured, turning your head into the pillow, eyes half-lidded, “And, Joel?”

His gaze flickered back to you, hovering, like he was bracing himself.

You swallowed, shifting slightly under the blankets, warmth settling deep in your bones. “Thank you.”

Joel’s fingers twitched where they grabbed for his shirt, his throat working around something thick, something stuck. His eyes dragged over you one last time, heavy, unreadable, before he gave a single, curt nod.

“I’ll see you,” he muttered, voice rough, almost hesitant.

Then he turned, and with the sound of the door clicking shut behind him, he was gone.

#Joel miller #Tommy miller #Joel Miller tlou #Tommy miller tlou #Joel x you #Joel Miller x you #Joel Miller x reader #Tommy miller x you #Joel Miller smut #uncle Joel lol #the last of us hbo #tlou joel #joel tlou #joel the last of us #tlou fanfic #tlou fanfiction #Joel Miller one shot

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sugoroo · 8 months ago

Text

ʚɞ warnings: fem!reader, looking up skirt, panty stealing + sniffing + licking, masturbation, professional misconduct, 18+ minors dni.

pervy electrician!toji who unintentionally shows up a little earlier at your house than he was supposed to and is rewarded with the sight of a very unprepared you hurriedly rushing to answer the door in just a baggy t-shirt and a pair of fuzzy socks.

pervy electrician!toji whose usual disinterested expression he has permanently plastered upon his features during work hours morphs into one of subtle interest as his dark eyes leisurely drag up and down your figure — and damn, he never gets sent out to clients as hot as you.

pervy electrician!toji who greets you with a simple nod as he brushes past you to get inside, his scarred lips involuntarily twitching up into an amused half-smile at how you ramble out several apologies for not being ready for his arrival.

pervy electrician!toji who casually waves it off and assures you that he doesn't mind; and he definitely doesn't mind when it means that he gets to watch you walk around in front of him wearing that shirt that barely even covers your ass.

pervy electrician!toji who is as well-mannered as he has to be when conversing with a customer, but makes sure to inject a little more charm into his voice just for you as he drawls out "well, what seems to be the problem, ma'am?"

pervy electrician!toji who silently pats himself on the back when he notices you grow slightly flustered at the polite term he used to address you by, leaning against your kitchen counter as he watches you explain the issues you've had with your power frequently cutting out lately.

pervy electrician!toji who has to make a concerted effort to bite back a scoff when you explain that despite being married, your useless husband has no idea how to fix the problem himself so you had no choice but to resort to calling his company.

pervy electrician!toji who can hardly even comprehend that your sorry excuse for a husband just went to work for the day and left a precious thing like you here with no power; some fools really don't know how good they have it, do they?

pervy electrician!toji who finds a rare, genuine smile pulling at his lips when you joke lightly that you'd make him a cup of coffee if there was any power for the kettle. so you're pretty as hell and you have a good sense of humour... oh, he's in trouble.

pervy electrician!toji who investigates the fuse box located at the back of the cupboard under the kitchen sink while you dash upstairs to change into something more appropriate, humming a quiet tune under his breath while he works.

pervy electrician!toji who figures out what the issue is in no time at all — there's a small leak dripping from the pipe leading from the bottom of the sink that has trickled down and fried some of the wiring; shouldn't be too hard to fix.

but for some reason, he finds himself wanting to create a reason for him to stay around here just a little longer.

so, pervy electrician!toji 'accidentally' makes the leak even worse by using the spanner on his tool belt to stretch the hole in the pipe slightly wider, causing any working part left in the fuse box to fizzle out into uselessness as a result.

pervy electrician!toji who has to pretend to be inconvenienced by the problem that he just worsened once you return to the kitchen, scratching the side of his jaw and telling you that it'll take him atleast a couple of hours to try and salvage the fuse box.

pervy electrician!toji who isn't exactly lying when he says this; just refraining from telling you the whole truth that there is no way to fix the ruined thing now. the entire box has to be replaced and he doesn't happen to have a new one with him today.

...looks like he'll just have to come back tomorrow, too.

pervy electrician!toji who keeps himself busy pretending to attempt to mend things under the cupboard, but finds it quite hard not to be distracted by your pretty self sitting atop the counter where you insisted on staying to keep him company while he works.

but, at the end of the day, pervy electrician!toji is a man, after all — a man who can't help himself from sneaking a quick peek up the edge of the skirt you changed into, holding back a groan when he catches a small glimpse of your patterned panties.

pervy electrician!toji who claims he needs to use your bathroom a little while later, making sure you don't follow him up the stairs before sneaking through the hall until he finds you and your husband's shared bedroom.

pervy electrician!toji who finds himself rifling through his client's underwear drawer like a damn horny teenager, hastily pulling out a pair of cute panties similar the ones he knows you're wearing downstairs right now.

pervy electrician!toji who is way too worked up to feel any sense of shame as he pushes his baggy work trousers down, exposing the extremely noticeable tent and subsequent wet patch staining the front of his boxers.

"fuckin' hell," pervy electrician!toji rasps as he shoves a hand into his boxers, wrapping it around the base of his painfully throbbing cock as he begins languidly stroking himself. "driving me crazy here, girl." he mutters to himself.

pervy electrician!toji who can't stop himself from holding your panties up to his face, cursing under his breath when he remembers that these are a clean pair from your drawer. no — he needs a used pair if he wants to be able to properly get off.

pervy electrician!toji who sifts through your laundry hamper like a starving man searching for scraps of food in a dumpster, his movements fuelled by the sheer need to release the overwhelming desire coursing through his veins.

pervy electrician!toji whose scarred lips twitch up into a victorious smirk when he finally finds a dirty pair of your panties, wasting no time in pressing his nose against the slick-stained crotch and inhaling your scent. and fuck, is it an intoxicating smell.

pervy electrician!toji who is utterly pussydrunk without even being near your actual cunt, tongue instinctively flicking out on its own to lap lightly at the soiled material, a pornographic moan falling from his lips afterwards.

"shit. tastes s-so sweet, heh." pervy electrician!toji grunts as he resumes those earnest tugs of his furiously hard cock, his sloppy mouth just coating your dirty panties with his glistening salvia.

pervy electrician!toji who is cumming in record time like a downright pathetic and touch-starved virgin, one press of his thick thumb against his weeping tip causing it to spill rope after rope of milky release into his boxers.

pervy electrician!toji who does actually go to the bathroom after he's pulled his trousers up and shoved both pairs of stolen panties into his pockets, cleaning himself up as best he can and checking his reflection in the mirror to make sure he doesn't look too wrecked.

pervy electrician!toji who saunters downstairs and faces you with an easy smile as if he didn't just jerk off with your used underwear pressed against his mouth, sharing the news that he'll 'unfortunately' have to return tomorrow to replace the broken fuse box.

pervy electrician!toji who tells you his usual bill for the basic work he's done today, although secretly gives you a considerable discount — one because it's you, and two because he didn't actually do anything to fix your power issue and instead deliberately made it worse so he could stay longer.

pervy electrician!toji who releases an amused chuckle when you frantically dart around the house in search of your purse, coming to the sheepish conclusion that you must've left it in your husband's car that he drove to work this morning with.

pervy electrician!toji who simply shrugs and suggests that you pay him when he comes by tomorrow instead. little do you know, however, that you've already paid him... just in the form of an orgasm and two pairs of panties instead of money.

pervy electrician!toji who is counting down the seconds until he can see you again as he drives home in the company van, body relaxed and sated from his previous climax and pockets stuffed pleasantly full with stolen underwear.

he'd say that was all in good day's work.

LIKES AND REBLOGS APPRECIATED!

pervy lifeguard!gojo <- PREVIOUS PART.

#★sugoroo #jjk x reader #jjk x you #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen x you #jujutsu kaisen smut #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jjk smut #toji smut #toji x reader #toji #toji fushiguro x reader #toji x you #toji fushiguro #toji fushiguro smut #toji x reader smut

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screampied · 1 year ago

Text

sukuna never says “i love you.”

to him, the words are meaningless. he’s been alive for thousands and thousands of years, of course he knows what it means. he’s not stupid, but for some reason—every time it comes out of your little human mouth, his heart aches. you say it so sweetly with the cheekiest grin on your face, not a single care in the world. he hated it. three words, eight letters of pure rubbish. at least, that’s what he thinks to himself. for sukuna, he expresses his love in a different way.

physical touch. flicking your forehead, teasing you, saying things he’d never say to you while you were awake. that was his version of love, he didn’t need those stupid, stupid words. or did he?

“love you, ‘kuna,” you’d pepper another kiss against his cheek. he tchs, the audacity for you to do something so embarrassing. he never says it back but you know deep down he’s got to feel at least something in that cold heart of his. he just has to, after all you did steal his heart in a way. and he stole yours. your eyes always had a glinting sparkle whenever those words would come out and he hated it. his response to you saying you loved him would always be the same.

“yeah yeah,” he gruffs. or a simple, “i know..”

but— there’d be a time where he’d regret not saying it back. a cold, cruel time where it’s just you and him, no one else. except, it would really just be him.

sukuna had a hard time at expression his feelings. it’s not like he hated you—despite his rough, barbarous persona.

he didn’t hate you but he did. it was complicated. it was a struggle trying to put it into words. all he knew was that he loathed how soft you made him, he noticed his behavior would change around you overtime. sukuna’s voice was get more gentle, his shoulders would relax, and he’d always finding himself flicking your forehead for some strange reason. it’s annoying,

you’re annoying.

the feeling was love though, it had to be.

had to be,

so the moment comes where he regrets not saying it back.

it’s something he’d continuously beat himself up over for. because now, here you are, laid all out near the ground in his arms. all four of his arms held you in a tight, cradling embrace and he’s got an expression you don’t think you’ve ever seen before. sukuna’s scarlet red irises were blown and fearfully dilated. his thin nostrils flared up and his slit brows contort in panic and confusion.

sukuna ryomen was scared.

“brat. get up.” he murmurs, three simple words was all he said to you. three simple words but you could barely even hear them.

all you heard was a brief inaudible mumble. you saw his lips moving but barely any sound came out. your body felt crushed, the pain was excruciating. your limbs, they felt like they were on fire. getting up was the last thing on your mind and you’ve probably sone the most careless thing imaginable.

you took a hit for sukuna, a deadly hit that was powerful enough to cost you your life. it’s funny though—all the talk of seeing your life flash before your eyes, and now, being snatched into the inevitable end, you were starting to really see it.

“get up,” he repeats, and this time, a single tear falls right onto your cheek. you meet sukuna’s gaze. the king of curses was a mere mess right before your eyes. he was like this for just you. teary eyed and sniffling, he can’t stand this pain.

you’re being held in his lap and not once does his eyes leave yours. sukuna takes a while to speak again and it’s as if he’s carefully thinking of what to say. time was precious right now, but he didn’t wanna think about anything. his focus was solely on you, his favorite little human.

“can you hear me? say something.”

“you .. you’re gonna get wrinkles if you keep frowning too much, ‘kuna.” you hum, a weak finger stroking against his cheek.

archons, for whatever reason, that little comment brought a smile to his face. you were so annoying to him and yet, he wouldn’t wanna be in anyone else’s presence. everything hurt though,

your body felt scorchingly hot, your pulse remains to ring through your ears and you were wheezing a bit. “hey, hey,” he watches as you try to cling onto his hand. sukuna didn’t know what to do, he didn’t know what to say - all he did do though, was hold you. it was the least thing he could do. your hand was so small compared to his, his long fingernails gently tickling against your skin.

he didn’t have it in him to scold you for trying to protect him. as fragile of a being you knew you were, you did it anyway. you risked your life for him. sukuna let his guard down and you jumped right in the way without a second thought for yourself. that’s what love was, his heart bleeds at the recent flashback before a shaky breath leaves his lips. “this wasn’t supposed to happen. you can’t leave me like this, please.”

“i’m not l- leaving.” you reply, your voice weak and frail. sukuna knew that was a lie. the more you stared at him, how the look of worry on his face paints and marinates his features, he was really scared. you were his everything, his breath of fresh air, maybe even his one true love. “never gonna leave you, sukuna.”

and sukuna lays there with you on his lap. you seem still - too still. right before his eyes, he watches as your body’s temp run cold, final breaths making its introduction. everything was going so fast. he barely had time to react before he realized,

you were gone.

“no,” he whispers under his breath. the demon was at a loss of words. the feeling in his chest, it was indescribable. painful, and tight as he watches the light leave your eyes, something within him leaves also. a part of him. you were drifting away and there was nothing he could do about it. “no.” he repeats against, feeling a dull ache run cold through his body. sukuna didn’t know what to do. he’s seeing red, but perhaps that wasn’t just bloodshed and anger. maybe, maybe it was the one true feeling he was denying all along,

love.

his breaths become heavy once he realizes you’re actually gone. no movement, no cheeky replies, no random “i love you ‘kuna’s,” no nothing. the tear in his heart was enough to make him see the light with you. it hurt horribly, a lump in his throat builds up before he starts to weep. one tear comes then multiple shortly follow, landing past the thin fabric of his sown kimono and onto your lifeless body.

sukuna hated you. he hated how you made him so soft, so vulnerable, so weak. you came into sukuna’s life, stole his heart, and also broke it.

as his eye twitches, his smile had already faded once you left him.

for the first time in centuries, sukuna was defeated. his enemy wasn’t a sorcerer, a curse, or even himself who he believed was his true worse enemy. sukuna ryomen was defeated by four simple letters, love. not only did you leave him in tears, but you also left him with an engagement ring inside his right palm.

he was far too late, he was gonna propose to you. that way, he’d build up the courage to say those stupid, stupid words. opening up his right hand, he stares at the ring he wanted to give you way earlier before this incident even happened. sukuna waited too long, he’d actually plan this for quite some time but again, he was scared.

with a defeated sigh, he surrenders, glancing at you for one last time. no smile on your face anymore but he just used his imagination. there you laid, peaceful, almost as if you were asleep. taking a deep breath, sukuna gives you his last gentle forehead flick before finally telling you the words he’s been longing to say for years.

“i … i love you too, brat. never leavin’ you either.”

#★vegasbaby.#lol time to cry #sukuna x reader #sukuna x you #sukuna x y/n #sukuna angst #ryomen sukuna x reader #sukuna ryomen x reader #jjk angst #jjk x you #jjk x reader #jjk x y/n #jjk x gender neutral reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen x you #jujustsu kaisen x reader #jjk fic #jjk drabbles #jjk imagines

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neoheros · 29 days ago

Text

sakusa knows he’s a bad date.

he’s quiet, timid, doesn’t speak much, and asks all the wrong questions at the wrong time.

he’s not very good at eye contact and a lot of the things he wants to say he feels he can’t say at all either.

(partially due to the feeling that everything he says when he talks to you ends up embarrassing him, and partially due to the fact that talking to you for long periods of time make him tongue tied).

(not that he’d ever admit that).

despite all that though, he does know the basics when it comes to going on dates:

he buys you flowers (and forgets it by his doorway), he opens the car door for you (and apologizes when it almost hits you as he opens it), and he makes dinner reservations at the restaurant you mentioned to him in passing three days ago (he did a good job with this one).

so yes, him being a bad date is not unbeknownst to him. quite the opposite in fact, it’s not only something he knows about himself, but it’s also something that he thinks about all the time.

or at least, all the time ever since he’s met you.

that’s how the two of you end up here — the evening of your first (and probably last) date, sitting on a porch step of an empty building, a bloodied handkerchief filled with crushed up snow pressed against sakusa’s left cheek, and a few missing buttons from your favorite winter coat.

sakusa always knew he was a bad date, but he never thought he would be this bad.

the plan had been simple: get you flowers, open the door for you, drive you to the restaurant you liked. sakusa had this game-plan of his memorized ever since you said yes to him four — now five — days ago.

he wrote it on a piece of paper, step by step, and kept it in his wallet sleeve in case he forgets, he repeated it to himself three times in the mirror this afternoon before he left the house to pick you up, and he said it to himself one last time in the car before texting you that he’d arrived.

he memorized it.

and still, he messed it up.

the streets are empty and the evening is quiet.

“sorry … for this.”

his words feel like they’ve been the first to be spoken all night.

on the snowy concrete just below your feet, there’s a few drops of blood making its presence known loudly against the whiteness of the snow, the drops scatter sporadically, and near it, there’s a button or two from your coat.

you sit next to sakusa on the cold steps, it’s a quiet night, and it’s not snowing anymore, but the soft bed of the cold flurry it left behind made for a beautiful evening.

you let your head fall slightly on his shoulder, “for what?”

you can feel him stiffen immediately under your touch, and he coughs, shy, and looks to the side.

it makes you smile a little bit — his efforts of hiding his expressions — it’s not like you can see him anyway with that big makeshift ice-pack covering his face.

“sorry for the bad date.” he clears his throat, more clearly now, a little louder too, but his tone almost sounds disappointed. “… and sorry for ruining your coat.”

you lift your head up from his shoulder, frowning, and you turn to face him, “it’s not a bad date.”

he doesn’t say anything to that. instead, he keeps his head turned slightly away from you, but his shoulders fall a bit when you move away from him.

“if anything, i should be the one apologizing.” you mutter lowly, “i’m the reason you got hurt.”

sakusa huffs slightly. a second pausing in the air as he refuses to return the look you give him, and finally, he puts down the “ice pack” from his cheek, and looks at you.

his cheek is scratched lightly, nothing too deep, just a red mark that’ll probably resolve itself in a few days, but his lower lip though — the culprit of the blood stained snow — is undeniably busted, still bleeding slightly, and making him wince at the sudden loss of pressure.

“don’t say stupid things.” he tells you, and if it makes him sound cold, he swears he’s not trying to be.

he just doesn’t know what else there is to say.

the truth is — it is a bad date.

he forgot your flowers, almost hit you with the car door, and now, the two of you are missing your dinner reservation because he got himself injured twenty minutes into the night.

it’s not fair, he thinks. half the things he wants to say to you, he can’t. half the things he wants to do, he messes up.

you make him fumble on his words, tongue tied, speechless, literally. you make him write things down on notes so he won’t forget them or practice on bathroom mirrors or worry in his car outside your doorstep.

he is the most capable man in his team, he is the sharpest, the most composed, his teammates and coach all count and look up to him.

but for some reason, one night with you, and it all washes away.

he doesn’t know what to say to you, he forgets things, and he falls face first flat on the hard concrete ground twenty minutes into your first date.

don’t say stupid things.

“you really won’t let me take you to the hospital?” you put your hand on his knee, turning even more to your side so you can face him better.

you have half a mind to put your other hand on his injured cheek but you don’t want to hurt him more than how he already does.

“it’s not as bad as it looks.” and as he says that, he winces, the gust of wind suddenly hitting his busted lip a testament to his bad luck tonight.

sakusa wants to kick himself, if there ever would be an appropriate time to act cooler than how he actually was, it would definitely not be now.

you don’t look so convinced, but sakusa wouldn’t know, he’s still only limiting himself to looking at you briefly before shifting his glance to something behind you or beside you or above you.

“hm. and it doesn’t hurt?” you cross your arms.

he shakes his head, “no. it doesn’t.” (it does.)

you raise a brow, “and you wouldn’t happen to be lying to me right now so i don’t take you to the emergency room?”

he shakes his head again, “i’m not.” (he is.)

you give him a look.

listen — sakusa already knows that he’s a bad date, but come on! he has been planning on asking you to dinner with him since the first week he’s known you, he’s been worrying about this evening since the second you agreed to it, and he’s been kicking himself in the head ever since the night began.

he’d rather bleed out on this disgustingly dirty porch step than admit that he’s a date so bad he can turn an evening meant for dinner into a night at the emergency room.

he doesn’t want you to think that he can be so bad like that. (is it too soon to ask you out for dinner again?)

you still look frustrated at his answers. but at least, he’s looking at you now.

you let out a big sigh, shoulders falling, and suddenly, you clap your hands together loudly as you straighten up.

“then i have an idea.” you say, and sakusa furrows his brows at the sudden change in the atmosphere.

you give him a prompting grin. “heads or tails.”

and it catches him so off guard, he says aloud, “what?”

you dig for a coin in your coat, “i’ll flip a coin and if it lands on heads, we go to the emergency room, no arguments, no fusses, no nothing.”

he frowns at that.

“but.” you tell him, and your grin gets wider as you show him the dime laid out on your palm, “if it’s tails, we go to my apartment, and i’ll try to fix you up there.”

his frown falls almost immediately into something else.

one night out with you and he’s already bleeding heavily and injured, and now you wanna take him back to your apartment?

were you trying to kill him?

“heads or tails, omi.”

he blinks at your words. and once again, he finds himself saying aloud, “what?”

you shoot him a funny look, your eyebrows slightly raising as your lips curve upward into a crooked smile.

you say, teasing, “if you don’t know; heads is the part of the coin with the head of the person showing on it and tails is the–”

sakusa grumbles loudly, cutting you off mid-sentence, making sure you see him roll his eyes at you, and he nudges you slightly with his foot.

he mutters, albeit under his breath, and he tries to hide it, but you can always tell when he’s smiling, “i know what a goddamned head is.”

you shrug, your grin wider now when you see his mood lighten up a bit.

“do you know what a goddamned tail is?”

sakusa huffs out an amused sigh. the smile on his face a lot more prominent now, and you only wonder slightly if it hurts him when he does it.

his shoulders fall as he’s defeated, “just take me to the emergency room.”

you let out a short laugh and the night doesn’t seem so quiet anymore.

you fall back against his shoulder, “ah, omi, are you just saving the opportunity to be invited into my apartment for our next date?”

there’s a choking sound to be heard in the air.

his face almost feels like it’ll erupt into flames by how casually you just said that, a hot pink hue creeping up from his neck to nose all the way to the tips of his ears. he blames it on the cold, and immediately, he presses the “icepack” back against his cheek.

sakusa stands up suddenly from the porch step, “let’s go now.”

and just like he said, he strides away, faster than what would usually be safe on snow-covered pavement.

“omi, not so fast!” you yell after him, rising from your own seat and following his pace, “you might fall again and hurt the other side of your face and atsumu will think i beat you up on our first date.”

he walks faster.

“i can go to the hospital myself, please don’t follow me.”

“that’s ridiculous! let me take care of you!”

he trips on his feet slightly as you say that and his heart feels like it would’ve fell from his mouth had he not caught himself before falling again.

you really were trying to kill him, weren’t you?

maybe this date doesn’t feel so bad after all.

and, is it too soon if he asks you to come have dinner with him again?

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solxamber · 8 months ago

Text

Holding Them and Not Letting Go with: Housewardens + Jamil

a little something before i go all in for the milestone events <3

Other parts: Vice Housewardens + Rollo, Neige ; First Years

Riddle Rosehearts

Riddle goes bright red the second you wrap your arms around him, stiffening in your hold like he’s forgotten how to breathe. He tries to splutter something coherent—maybe a reminder about PDA rules, maybe a request to know what’s going on—but his voice gets tangled up, and all that comes out is a confused murmur.

You don’t let go, though. Instead, you squeeze him a little tighter, prompting him to look down at you, his eyes widening with soft confusion. “Is… Is something wrong?” he stammers, gently pressing his hand to your shoulder, trying to read your face.

“Nothing’s wrong,” you answer with a warm smile. “I just love you, Riddle. That’s all.”

For a moment, he’s frozen. Just love him? He feels his heart stumble, so unfamiliar with this kind of simple, generous affection. In his childhood, hugs were formal gestures, love was measured and conditional—a reward to be earned, rarely felt freely. But here, with you… you’re holding him because you want to, with nothing expected in return.

Slowly, Riddle’s hands find their way to your back, and he pulls you close with a tenderness that surprises even him. There’s a quiet ache in his chest, an overwhelming mix of joy and disbelief, like he’s filling up with something he never knew he was missing. He clings to you, unable to speak, as though afraid that words might shatter the beautiful warmth settling between you.

You both stay like this, tangled together in silence. In this simple embrace, Riddle feels more seen, more loved, than he ever has before. It’s a feeling he wants to hold onto forever—a happiness he never thought he’d be allowed to have. For the first time, he feels completely at peace.

Leona Kingscholar

You wrap your arms around Leona, your grip firm as if you’ve decided you’re never letting go. At first, he’s as stoic as ever, arching an eyebrow in mild confusion. “Oi, herbivore…what’s this all about?” he mutters, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.

But when you stay silent, he lets out a chuckle, amused by your stubborn clinginess. “If you’re hoping to trap me, you might wanna try harder than that.”

After a few more moments, his teasing fades. You’re still holding him, your head resting against his chest, heartbeat steady against his. He tries to check if youre upset and realizes then that you’re not sad, nor do you seem upset; you’re simply content. When he starts to pull back to look at you, you give him a warm smile and quietly say, “I just…love you.”

The words wash over him, soft and simple yet deeply affecting. His expression shifts, from nonchalance to something much more vulnerable. To Leona, who’s spent much of his life overshadowed, unwanted, and fighting for recognition, the idea of being someone’s first choice feels like an impossibility.

And yet, here you are, holding onto him like he’s the only thing that matters. He swallows hard, not saying anything, but the look in his eyes says it all.

He finally allows his arms to come around you, drawing you in with more intensity than he’d probably ever admit aloud. His tail snakes around your waist in a protective loop, pulling you even closer, as if anchoring himself to you. “Don’t go getting mushy on me,” he mutters, trying to sound unaffected, but his grip tightens just a bit more.

But despite his usual attitude, he’s never felt this…full. Full of pride, full of warmth, full of something he’s struggled to admit he even wanted. And it’s all because of you, the one person who looked past his rough edges and stubborn exterior.

He chuckles softly, burying his face in your shoulder, whispering, “Guess you got yourself a lion for life, herbivore.”

Azul Ashengrotto

Azul is hunched over his desk, papers and ledgers strewn around him, eyebrows furrowed as he works late into the night. He’s so engrossed that he doesn’t even notice you approaching until you gently climb onto his lap, resting yourself against him without a word. His body goes rigid in surprise, the usual control he wields over his composure completely shattered.

“Are you... feeling alright?” he asks, voice a little breathless, struggling to keep himself calm as you press your face into the crook of his neck. “Are you sick? Is there something wrong?”

You just shake your head, pulling back just enough to meet his eyes. “I just love you, Azul,” you whisper softly, a warmth in your gaze that sends his heart into overdrive. “And I’m so proud of you.”

With that, you wrap your arms around him again, holding him close, and suddenly, all the strength in him unravels. He hadn’t realized how much he’d needed this—how much he craved reassurance, wanted to know he was worth it.

All his insecurities, fears, and memories of feeling out of place resurface, but they’re softened by your presence, and with just one hug, you’re able to ease away all that self-doubt he keeps buried.

Without another word, he wraps his arms tightly around you, his grip firm and filled with an unspoken desperation. He clings to you as though you’re his lifeline, as though you’re the single steady point in his otherwise frantic world, and for a few moments, he allows himself to just feel—to let go of the worries, to set aside the constant weight of expectations.

The mountain of paperwork on his desk feels meaningless compared to the comfort you bring, and all he wants is to stay like this, holding you as closely as he can, reveling in the feeling of being loved for who he is.

Kalim Al-Asim

Kalim is in his element, animatedly discussing ideas for his next big celebration. His hands gesture widely, his voice bright, detailing elaborate plans for decorations, food, entertainment—he's clearly in his happy place, and you can’t help but feel utterly captivated by his joy.

Without even thinking, you throw your arms around him, hugging him tightly mid-sentence. Kalim laughs, hugging you back with his usual enthusiasm, though a bit of surprise colors his expression when you show no signs of letting go. “Hey, is everything okay?” he asks, a smile in his voice.

You lean back just enough to grin up at him, eyes shining. “I’m perfectly okay. You just looked so radiant talking about the party—and I love you.”

He stares at you for a beat, completely dazzled, and then his face breaks into the brightest smile as he spins you around, laughter bubbling from both of you. When he finally sets you down, he pulls you close, cradling you like you’re the most precious thing in the world.

“I’m so glad you chose me,” he murmurs softly, his forehead pressing against yours. The simple joy radiates from him, a warmth and gentleness that wraps around you both. It’s a pure, unfiltered happiness that you feel too, knowing that you chose him, and he chose you.

You stay wrapped up in each other, reveling in that perfect moment, glowing with the warmth of shared love. For now, with his laughter filling the room and his arms securely around you, nothing else matters.

Jamil Viper

Jamil walks into his room, the exhaustion from managing Scarabia weighing heavily on his shoulders. But before he can even remove his shoes, you’re already there, waiting for him. Without a word, you step into his space, your arms winding around him in a gentle but firm embrace.

His body relaxes instantly, the stress of the day melting away as you run a soothing hand down his back. The warmth of your touch settles over him like a blanket, but after a few moments, he notices you haven’t let go. The silence stretches, and his concern grows.

He pulls back just slightly, searching your face with quiet intensity. “Are you okay?” His voice is soft, careful, as though bracing for something serious.

You meet his eyes with a smile, your voice tender but full of affection. “I’m fine. I just… I love you. I’m proud of everything you do. You work so hard, and I see all of it. I just wanted to be here, with you.”

A deep warmth spreads through Jamil at your words, the weight of the day almost forgotten as he pulls you back into him. This time, his hold is even tighter, more possessive, as if he’s afraid that if he lets go, this moment will vanish. His face buries itself into your neck, and he inhales deeply, breathing in the scent of you—your presence, your comfort.

For once, he allows himself to fully sink into the embrace, no longer needing to wear his usual mask.

With you, he doesn’t have to hold back his feelings. For the first time in what feels like forever, he lets his guard drop, the emotional wall he’s spent building his whole life crumbling in the warmth of your arms.

“I could stay like this forever,” he whispers, the words barely audible as he holds you close. His voice is thick with emotion, a mixture of tenderness and longing. “I never want to leave your side.”

In the comfort of your touch, Jamil realizes something. He’s never felt more at peace, more cared for, than he does in this moment. He holds you tighter, savoring the feeling of being loved so deeply, so completely. No matter what happens, he knows this is where he belongs—in your arms, and with your heart.

Vil Schoenheit

It’s been a long day, and by the time you reach Vil, all you want is to collapse into his arms. But before you can even speak, he’s already analyzing you, frowning at your slumped posture, the bags under your eyes, and the way you haven’t had time to take care of yourself. "Did you eat today? Are you even sleeping? Honestly, I can't—"

And before he can finish his lecture, you launch yourself at him, wrapping your arms tightly around his neck.

He catches you with his usual elegance, barely flinching. His lips curl in that slight, amused way, but the concern in his eyes softens as you cling to him, not letting go.

"Darling, What's wrong?" he asks, his voice taking on a gentler tone as he instinctively pulls you closer. You can feel the smoothness of his coat beneath your fingers as you bury your face in his chest.

"I missed you," you murmur. "I'm just happy to see you. I love you. And I love that you worry about me."

Vil’s chest tightens at your words, a soft, almost imperceptible sigh escaping him. He gently strokes your back, the movement slow, deliberate. “You’re something else,” he teases, his lips twitching, but there’s warmth in his voice. “You know you should’ve eaten something, and yet here you are, throwing yourself at me.”

His hands remain on you, though, pulling you closer, stroking your back with a tenderness he rarely shows in public. He may pretend to be exasperated, but the way his fingers gently brush the length of your spine betrays his true feelings. Deep down, he’s touched by how much you put up with him.

"You should be scolded for your own good," he starts, but it’s a half-hearted attempt. There’s no real bite to his words this time. Instead, he just holds you tighter, deciding that, just for tonight, you don’t need any more lectures.

“You’ll never be rid of me now,” he murmurs softly, his voice barely above a whisper. “And you’re welcome to lean on me, always.”

In the comfort of his embrace, you let go of the day’s stress, finding peace in the warmth of his arms. There’s no need for anything else, just this moment, just him.

Idia Shroud

Idia’s explaining the intricate details of a new strategy, his eyes wide with excitement. But then, suddenly, you set your controller down and throw yourself at him in an unexpected hug, effectively cutting off his speech. His hair flares a brilliant shade of pink as his brain momentarily glitches, clearly unsure of how to process what's happening.

And he is in full panic mode. His mind, always working a mile a minute, goes into overdrive trying to figure out what he did wrong, or if he's somehow messed things up.

“Uh—are you okay?” he stammers, voice filled with concern but entirely thrown off by the situation. You don’t answer with words, just a soft smile as you bury your face in his chest.

“I love you,” you whisper, “and you’re adorable.”

He’s used to being alone, to being misunderstood, to retreating into his games and hiding from the world. But here you are, in his arms, embracing him for no reason other than that you love him.

Despite his anxious thoughts swirling, he awkwardly places his arms around you, his body stiff at first, unsure of what to do. It takes him a moment before he relaxes, and as he holds you, his mind starts to clear. All those fears—of not being enough, or of being too much—slowly fade away, replaced by something that feels warm and real.

You, who listen to him ramble about things no one else would care about. You, who understand when he’s not up for going out, who accept him as he is. He feels so undeserving of someone so kind, but at the same time, something deep inside him stirs. It’s happiness. It’s love.

His arms tighten around you as he buries his face into your hair, his heart racing with a mixture of overwhelming joy and disbelief. He’ll never understand why someone like you would choose him, but as long as you’re here, he wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.

Malleus Draconia

Malleus stands before you, holding the gargoyle he crafted with such care, the stone masterpiece shimmering in the soft light. "This is for you," he says softly, his voice full of pride. His eyes shine with the unspoken hope that you’ll appreciate the effort.

Before he can say anything else, you wrap your arms around him, pulling him into a warm embrace. He freezes for a moment, unsure, before his own arms encircle you with surprising gentleness. He’s always craved touch, but the depth of affection you offer fills him with awe.

The two of you stand there, the moment stretching on in comfortable silence, until Malleus pulls back slightly, his eyes searching your face. "Are you alright?" His voice holds a hint of concern.

You smile at him softly, your words simple but filled with a warmth he rarely hears: "You mean the world to me. I love you."

Malleus's breath catches in his throat, and before he can think, his arms tighten around you. He pulls you impossibly closer, as if afraid you’ll slip away. His heart races as he feels the weight of your love, the pure acceptance and tenderness you give him. The loneliness he’s lived with for so long, the misunderstandings, the isolation—none of it matters now.

He’s here with you. You see him, not as a prince or a fae of great power, but simply as Malleus. And that, more than anything, fills him with a kind of peace he’s never known.

Malleus buries his face in the crook of your neck, holding you tightly as if to make sure this moment doesn’t slip away. "I will never forget this," he murmurs softly. "I will cherish you... forever."

In your embrace, he finds something he thought was impossible—a sense of belonging. He smiles, feeling the warmth of your love seep into him, and he knows he is truly loved.

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jincapableoflove · 5 months ago

Text

A Jar Full of Us | one-shot

Pairing: Jungkook x (f.) Reader

Genre/Tags: best friend! jungkook, best friend! reader, college! au, unrequited love (?), idiots to lovers, best friends to ??? to lovers, angst, fluff, implied smut.

Summary: You never meant for him to find them. Hundred little confessions, folded away, never meant to be read. But now, they’re in his hands. And Jungkook, your best friend, knows everything. But he doesn’t say a word. He just watches you, with that same unreadable expression, like he’s waiting for something. And this Valentine’s Day, you might just have to find out what.

Inspired by: To All the Boys I've Loved Before

Word count: 10.2K+

Warnings: arguments, jungkook is a jerk, misunderstandings (a lottt of it), angstttt, reader and jk are huge idiots, mutual pining, implied smut (its not too detailed so that the story maintains the emotional connectivity), romantic intimacy, tooth-rotting fluff.

MOODBOARD

A/N: HERE IT ISSS! this is the longest fic ive written! tysm for all the support yall have given me in the teaser of this fic. i put out a taglist thinking no one would actually want to be a part of it but so many of yall asked to be tagged 😭 im so grateful! tysm i hope you enjoy reading this as much as i enjoyed writng it. lmk ur thoughts abt it after u read too <3 ALSO HAPPY VALENTINES DAYYY (someone date me pls)

The door clicks shut behind you as you step into the dorm, kicking off your shoes with a tired sigh. The evening air still clings to your skin, carrying traces of laughter and the lingering warmth of Jungkook’s presence.

It had been another perfect night, one filled with inside jokes, stolen bites of each other’s food, and his usual exasperated attempts to get you to study.

Joy, your roommate, is nowhere in sight, giving you the solitude you need. You don’t hesitate. Your steps are purposeful as you cross the room, crouching down beside your bed. With practiced ease, you reach under the frame, fingers brushing against the familiar surface of a small pink, heart-shaped box. You pull it out carefully, as if it were a fragile secret, and place it on your lap.

A soft breath escapes you as you grab a nearby pen and a book, neatly tearing out a tiny slip of paper. The motion is second nature now. Without even thinking, you let your emotions spill onto the paper, crafting a fleeting moment into something permanent.

Tonight’s memory is simple, but it still tugs at your heart. Jungkook had sent you another blurry picture of the moon, captioned with a casual, “Looks kinda pretty, right?” He knew how much you loved the moon how it fascinated you in a way you could never quite put into words. And he had remembered. Of course, he had remembered.

A fond smile tugs at your lips as you write:

Jungkook remembers the little things.

Once the ink dries, you fold the note with care and add it to the collection. The box is almost full now, brimming with countless tiny confessions, whispers of feelings you’ve never had the courage to say aloud. A hundred little moments, a hundred little thoughts, all dedicated to the boy who had unknowingly stolen your heart.

Jungkook.

Jungkook, your best friend, who always saves you the last bite of his food, even when it’s his favorite. Jungkook, who sends you blurry pictures of the moon just because he knows you love them. Jungkook, who insists on studying with you, despite his major being entirely different from yours, just so he can make sure you actually open a book instead of procrastinating.

This little tradition of yours had started as a joke. One night, after an especially soft moment where Jungkook had wordlessly placed his hoodie over your head because you were shivering, you had scribbled on a piece of paper: Jungkook is warmer than the sun.

You had smiled to yourself as you rolled up the paper and dropped it into the box. It had felt oddly nice to preserve that moment, capturing the feeling of it in something tangible. So you did it again. And again. And again.

Until, one day, you realized you had written over a hundred of them.

You hadn’t meant to fall in love. And you certainly hadn’t planned to confess.

But each tiny slip of paper holds a truth your heart refuses to say aloud.

And you're going to keep it a secret forever.

You met Jungkook almost three years ago, during freshman year. The first time you met him, he had been infuriatingly kind.

You had been struggling under the weight of a precariously tall stack of books, barely able to see over them, when suddenly, a few disappeared from the top. Startled, you looked up to see Jungkook grinning at you, effortlessly holding the books you had nearly dropped.

"You looked like you were about to tip over," he teased, his dark eyes twinkling with amusement.

With a playful huff, you had responded, "Maybe I wanted it to tip over."

Jungkook had only laughed, shaking his head. "I'll catch you next time," he had promised.

That night, you had written a tiny note and slipped it into your box: He wants to catch me when I fall, even without me asking.

From that moment on, your friendship grew in ways you hadn’t even noticed at first. Midnight walks and late night study sessions became routine, pulling you closer together with every shared moment. What had started as swapping notes for the one class you had together turned into sharing secrets. Somewhere along the way, before you even realized it, Jungkook had become your favorite person.

The box was almost full now.

You had written so many things over the years, each note capturing a small piece of him, a fragment of your feelings. Some were simple observations:

Jungkook frowns when he eats something delicious.

His hair is always a mess in the mornings. He hates it, but I love it.

His eyes smile before his lips do.

But one night, you had written something different. Something deeper. Something that felt like the truest thing you had ever put to paper.

I love him.

The moment the ink dried, panic had set in. You had almost torn it up, almost removed it from the box as if keeping it there would somehow make it real. But in the end, you had left it. Because the box was safe. No one was going to see it.

Especially not Jungkook.

One afternoon, you came back from your classes, ready to relax and unwind before the stress of exams fully set in. You had been looking forward to a quiet evening, maybe even a movie marathon with Jungkook to take your mind off things for a while.

But the moment you stepped into your dorm, you felt something was off.

Joy was sitting on the couch, sipping her coffee, her expression smug... too smug. A knowing smirk curled at the corners of her lips as she watched you walk in, and instantly, your stomach twisted with unease.

You narrowed your eyes. "What did you do?"

"I did you a favor," she said casually, taking another slow sip of her coffee.

A cold shiver ran down your spine. "What favor?" you asked, dread creeping into your voice.

Joy grinned. "I found that little cute box of yours."

Your heart stopped. "What?"

"Don't look at me like that," she waved a hand dismissively, as if what she was about to say wasn’t about to shatter your entire world. "It was just sitting there collecting dust, and I thought—what a perfect Valentine's Day gift for Jungkook. So…I wrapped it up and dropped it off at his place."

Silence.

A deafening, all-consuming silence as her words echoed in your head.

"You WHAT?!"

Your entire body froze in place, your breath catching in your throat as horror washed over you in waves. Your chest felt tight, your pulse roaring in your ears.

Joy merely raised an eyebrow, seemingly unbothered by the sheer panic on your face. "You're welcome," she said cheekily before promptly sprinting out of the room for her life.

But you couldn’t chase after her. You couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think past the ringing in your ears.

No. No. No.

This couldn't be happening.

Still desperate to deny the possibility, you dropped to your knees and scrambled to check under your bed, your hands shaking as you reached into the familiar space where you had hidden the box for years.

Empty.

It was gone.

The tiny wooden box that held a hundred little moments, a hundred little secrets—your secrets—was gone.

And now it was in Jungkook's hands.

Of all people… Jungkook.

Jungkook lived in an apartment a little further away from your dorm. The second the realization hit, you bolted out the door without a second thought, heart pounding so hard it nearly drowned out the sound of your footsteps against the pavement.

Your plan was simple. Get to his apartment before he did. You knew his habits well enough to guess that he was probably grabbing a late lunch at that fast-food place near campus. If luck was on your side, you still had time.

He hadn’t seen it yet.

He couldn’t have seen it yet.

As you ran, your mind spiralled into chaos, bombarding you with every possible scenario, each one worse than the last.

What if he had already opened it?

What if he read through every single note?

What if he found the one that said I love him?

Your stomach twisted painfully at the thought.

Jungkook was your best friend.

He was your person.

And now, he might know that you wanted to be more than just friends.

The mere thought made your chest tighten as memories of the two of you flashed through your mind. The times you spent together at the arcade, the countless movie nights, the time you and Jungkook had crashed Jimin’s birthday party with a ridiculous amount of booze.

And then…there was that moment.

The moment you almost confessed.

"I wish I could find someone who truly understood me," he had said one night, his voice softer than usual, lost in thought.

And you had almost said it. The words had been on the tip of your tongue, so painfully close—"I do."

But you swallowed them down.

Because what if he didn’t feel the same way? What if saying those words ruined everything?

And now, thanks to Joy, you didn’t have a choice anymore. The truth was out there, sitting in a neatly wrapped box in Jungkook’s apartment.

The thought of his reaction sent your mind into overdrive.

Would he laugh?

Would he think it was weird?

Would he—

Would he reject you?

No. No. No.

You shook your head violently as you rounded the corner, lungs burning from the sprint. You’re going to get there before he does. You’re going to take the box back, and he’s never going to know about it.

That was the plan.

It had to work.

As soon as you reached Jungkook’s apartment building, you barely paused to catch your breath. Your legs ached from running, but panic kept you moving. You made a beeline for the mailbox section in the lobby, frantically scanning the names, searching for his.

Box 109.

You yanked it open.

Empty.

Your stomach sank.

Maybe his roommate took it upstairs? Yeah. That had to be it. Maybe it was sitting untouched on the kitchen counter, still wrapped, still safe, still unseen.

You latched onto that sliver of hope as you rushed up the stairs two at a time, unwilling to wait for the elevator. By the time you reached his floor, your hands were shaking. You raised a fist and knocked on the door, urgency making your knuckles sting.

No response.

You knocked again, harder this time.

Then, finally, you heard shuffling from inside. A few footsteps. The creak of the floorboards. A pause.

The door swung open.

And there he was.

Jungkook.

Standing right in front of you, framed in the dim light of his apartment, wearing an oversized grey hoodie that draped over his frame in a way that shouldn't have been so unfairly attractive. His dark hair was slightly damp, messy from a shower, strands falling into his eyes. His lips were parted in surprise, his brows slightly furrowed, and the expression on his face—confused yet soft, dangerously soft—made your already erratic heartbeat lurch violently.

But then, your gaze dropped to his hands.

And the world stopped.

The box.

The open box.

Your box.

Your secret, sacred collection of unsent confessions, of words meant only for the safety of your own solitude. The pieces of your heart you had never dared to show him.

You felt like you were going to be sick.

No, no, no, no—

"You—" You gasped, barely able to form words, chest rising and falling rapidly as you fought for air. "You opened it?"

Jungkook blinked, holding the box loosely in one hand, fingers curled around the edges as if he had been going through its contents just moments ago. He tilted his head, his expression unreadable.

"Yeah," he said simply, as if the weight of the universe hadn’t just come crashing down on you.

Oh. Oh no.

Your legs wobbled. You had to physically stop yourself from collapsing right there in front of him.

His gaze flickered downward, and you followed it instinctively. In his other hand, he held one of the notes. One of your notes. The handwriting was unmistakably yours, a little smudged, a little rushed, but still legible.

He cleared his throat, then read aloud.

"I don’t know when it happened. But one day, he became my favorite person."

Silence.

It stretched on for what felt like an eternity.

You thought you might actually pass out.

"Jungkook, I—" Your voice cracked, but before you could even attempt to explain, he looked up and met your eyes.

And then, to your absolute horror—

He smiled.

Not a teasing smirk, not an awkward grimace, but a real, genuine, knowing smile. A little shy, a little amused, as if the weight of what he had just discovered didn’t terrify him nearly as much as it did you.

And then—oh god—he spoke again.

"So… do you still think my hair looks best when it’s messy?"

Your breath hitched.

Your brain went blank.

You wanted to scream.

The change was almost instant.

In the days that followed, Jungkook became… different.

Not in the way you had imagined, though.

You had been bracing yourself for a talk, a conversation where he’d tell you gently, maybe even apologetically, that he didn’t feel the same way. Or, at the very least, a moment of awkwardness before things slowly went back to normal.

But instead, Jungkook just… pulled away.

It started subtly at first. He stopped texting as much. The late-night calls that once lasted for hours dwindled into one-word replies and seen messages. The casual lunch meetups, the spontaneous arcade runs, the easy, natural way he used to gravitate towards you in a crowded room. all of it changed.

And yet, despite the distance, he never fully let you go.

Instead, he turned it into a joke.

Like today, when he leaned in far too close for comfort, during your shared class. His voice was low, teasing, the warmth of his breath fanning against your ear.

"So, I’m warmer than the sun, huh?"

You stiffened instantly, your hands tightening around your pen. He pulled back with a smirk, his dark eyes glittering with mischief as he watched your reaction unfold in real-time.

It was unbearable.

He kept doing it.

Whenever you tried to talk to him— really talk to him —he would either dodge the conversation entirely or turn it into something lighthearted, something unserious.

Like the time you finally found him alone, determined to just get it over with, to ask what had changed between you two. Before you could even get the words out, he cut you off with another one of those smirks, his voice laced with amusement.

"So I look best in black? Good to know."

And then he walked away.

That was when you finally got the message.

Jungkook had taken it as a joke.

He didn’t care about your feelings.

It was like the caring, affectionate boy you had known for years had vanished the moment your heart had been laid bare. Like now that the truth was out in the open, he didn’t know how to handle it so he chose to mock it instead.

And worst of all?

He was pulling away from you completely.

The time you used to spend together? Gone. He was hanging out with other people now, filling his days with anyone but you. And when you did manage to cross paths, he only acknowledged you through those insufferable little comments, those cruel reminders of the things you had never meant for him to see.

It hurt. More than you wanted to admit.

Because maybe you had hoped that if he knew how you felt…

He wouldn’t push you away like this.

The next week brought the on-campus career fair an event mandatory for all students. You weren’t particularly excited about it, but at least it was a distraction, something to keep your mind occupied.

Or so you thought.

Because that’s when you saw him.

And he wasn’t alone.

He was walking around with Hana, a junior from your college. They moved easily through the crowd, side by side, completely immersed in conversation. And then, to make things even worse... he laughed.

A real laugh. The kind that made his nose scrunch up and his eyes crinkle, the kind you hadn’t heard in what felt like forever.

Your stomach twisted.

You weren’t expecting him to make it this obvious.

If he wanted to reject you, fine. If he didn’t feel the same way, you could live with that. But did he really have to parade it around like this?

Maybe this was his way of sending a message. Maybe he wanted you to know, without actually having to say it out loud.

A silent rejection.

What a jerk.

These days, you barely have the motivation to attend classes. You go through the motions, waking up, dragging yourself to campus, sitting through lectures. But your mind isn’t really there.

Because no matter how hard you try to distract yourself, the brutal reality of rejection lingers like a shadow, following you everywhere you go.

Jungkook threw away your feelings like they meant nothing.

You should have expected it, right? You should have known this was how it would turn out.

Maybe you were never meant to be anything more than a friend to him. Maybe, the moment he realized you held deeper feelings for him, he got scared. Or worse, maybe he just didn’t care at all.

The thought makes your chest ache.

Jungkook has always been a romantic at heart. You’ve seen it in the way he talks about love, in the way he watches romance movies with a dreamy look in his eyes. But clearly, you were never part of that dream.

And now, because of your stupid feelings, you’ve ruined everything.

You used to be his best friend. The one he joked around with, the one he trusted, the one he leaned on.

But now?

Now he barely looks at you.

And if he does, it's only to throw some teasing remark your way like your feelings were some kind of joke.

The person you were most angry at was Joy.

Not Jungkook. Not yourself.

Joy.

Because none of this would have happened if she had just left that damn box alone.

That day after the box incident, the moment you stepped back into your dorm, she was there, lounging on the couch like nothing had happened. She glanced up as you walked in, a smirk already forming on her lips.

“I didn’t expect you to come back so early. I thought you guys would—” she wiggled her eyebrows—“get freaky after the whole confession, you know?”

She laughed, expecting you to groan or throw a pillow at her like usual.

But then she saw your face.

Her laughter faded. “Wait… what happened?”

You didn’t answer. You just walked past her and sank into the couch, staring at nothing, your mind still replaying every moment from earlier—Jungkook’s teasing, his smirk, his distance.

You heard Joy shuffle closer, her voice softer now. “I… I’m sorry. Did I send the gift too early? Did Jungkook not like it?”

You let out a hollow laugh. “Oh, no, he loved it.” You turned to her, your voice dripping with sarcasm. “Thank you so much for your help, Joy.”

Her expression faltered. “Wait… what do you mean?”

You shook your head, exhaling sharply. “Jungkook probably thinks I’m pathetic now.”

Joy winced. She sat beside you on the couch, guilt written all over her face. “I— I really thought—” she hesitated, chewing on her lip. “I was so sure, though. That boy always had heart eyes for you.”

You let out a bitter chuckle. “Well, now you know he didn’t.”

Silence settled between you both.

And for the first time, Joy didn’t have anything to say.

The next time you see Jungkook, he’s with Hana again.

They’re standing by one of the campus notice boards, deep in conversation. You don’t mean to eavesdrop you’re not even sure why you stop but the moment you hear them talking, something in your gut tells you to listen.

Hana tilts her head, her voice low but clear. “Are you sure she won't find out?”

Jungkook sighs, rubbing the back of his neck. “I don’t know… Maybe it's better this way”

Your breath catches in your throat.

Your first instinct is denial maybe they’re not talking about you. Maybe it’s about someone else entirely. But deep down, you know.

As far as you’re aware, there isn’t another she in Jungkook’s life. Not before. Not when you were still close.

You’ve already been replaced.

Your chest aches as you piece it together. He doesn't want you to find out because he's probably in a relationship with Hana now. Because he doesn’t want to hurt you with a direct rejection, he thinks hiding his relationship with her is the kinder option.

It isn’t.

You swallow the lump in your throat and force yourself to step back, turning away from the scene before you can hear any more.

You decide then that no matter how much it hurts, no matter how pathetic it makes you feel, you can’t bear being apart from Jungkook.

Even if he doesn’t love you back.

Even if he only sees you as a friend.

Losing him completely? That’s not something you’re ready for. Maybe you never will be.

So, you do the only thing you can think of.

You wait for him after class.

Your heart pounds against your ribs as you watch the door, your hands clammy with nerves. When Jungkook finally steps out, your breath catches. He looks the same—same hoodie, same soft brown eyes—but everything feels different now.

Taking a deep breath, you step forward.

"I get it, okay?" you say, voice firm despite the way your throat tightens. "You don’t like me. And that’s fine. I hope she makes you happy."

Jungkook halts mid-step.

His jaw clenches. His fists curl at his sides.

"You don’t understand," he mutters.

"Then make me understand, Jungkook," you plead. You take a shaky breath, forcing yourself to keep going, even as your last shred of dignity slips through your fingers. "Can we still be friends, at least?"

Silence.

Jungkook doesn’t reply.

And somehow, that hurts more than rejection ever could.

There's a party happening, hosted by one of the biggest party animals on campus. Everyone is invited, and Joy insists that you go.

After much convincing, you finally give in. You've mended things with her and finally forgiven her. Maybe it wasn’t entirely her fault. Maybe you just needed someone to blame.

You decide to go, hoping for a distraction. Maybe the music, the drinks, and the endless chatter will help you forget, even if just for a night.

But you already know Jungkook will be there.

Probably Hana too.

And that's fine.

You'll just stay out of their way.

The party is in full swing when you arrive with loud music, flashing lights, bodies moving wildly on the dance floor, and the unmistakable smell of booze in the air. Bottles are being passed around, and the energy is electric.

A few friends from your classes spot you and pull you in, offering drinks. You take them all without hesitation, reaching for the strongest ones, letting the alcohol burn away the ache in your chest.

Jungkook is nowhere in sight.

Good. Maybe he didn’t come. Maybe you can actually enjoy yourself tonight.

With the alcohol settling in, your limbs feel lighter, your mind a little hazy. You dance to the outdated playlist blaring through the speakers, laugh with strangers, and let yourself let go just for a while.

But after some time, it all feels like too much. The heat, the noise, the overwhelming buzz in your veins. You slip away from the crowd and make your way to the rooftop, breathing in the crisp night air, letting it cool your flushed skin.

And then you sense someone else's presence.

You turn, your head spinning slightly, and there he is.

Jungkook.

You blink, wondering if you're imagining him, but his gaze is fixed on you, a slight furrow between his brows. There's something like concern in his expression as he watches you, taking in your drunken state.

Your heart stumbles in your chest.

The alcohol makes everything feel lighter, your body, your thoughts, your inhibitions. So when you see Jungkook standing there, looking at you with that unreadable expression, the words just spill out before you can stop them.

“I liked you, you know,” you mumble, swaying slightly. “But now I realize… I was just wasting my time.”

Jungkook doesn’t react. No apology, no denial, not even a flicker of emotion across his face.

He just exhales softly, shoving his hands into his pockets. “You’ll be fine,” he says simply, then turns on his heel and walks away.

Just like that.

The cool night air suddenly feels suffocating, the weight in your chest heavier than ever. You watch his retreating figure, your heart shattering all over again.

The next morning, you wake up with the nastiest headache ever. Your head throbs, your mouth is dry, and your body feels like it’s been wrung out. You groan, forcing yourself to sit up as the hazy memories from last night slowly piece themselves together.

Jungkook. The rooftop. The way he just… walked away like he didn’t care.

You shake the thought from your mind, dragging yourself out of bed. There’s no point dwelling on it. Your exams are approaching, and you need to focus.

Deciding to get some studying done, you head to the library. The quiet atmosphere should help clear your head or at least distract you from the mess that is your life.

But the moment you step inside, your breath catches.

Jungkook is sitting at the table you both used to frequent, completely absorbed in scribbling something into a notebook. For a second, you consider turning around, but then something catches your eye.

He rips out a small piece of paper, folds it neatly, and without hesitation, slips it into a glass jar sitting beside him.

Your heart clenches.

Is it for Hana?

You don’t stick around to find out. Before Jungkook can notice you, you turn on your heel and walk away.

February 10th. Your birthday.

You wake up with a small flicker of hope. Maybe today would be different. Maybe Jungkook had been ignoring you all this time because he was planning something, some kind of surprise. That had to be it, right?

Surely.

So you wait.

By 3 PM, your phone is filled with messages from friends, family, even distant relatives reaching out to wish you. Everyone but Jungkook.

Not even a single text.

The hope that had carried you through the day starts to crumble, replaced by a hollow ache in your chest. You don’t go to class. What’s the point? This might just be the worst birthday ever.

That’s when Joy bursts into your room with a grin.

"You got a package!" she announces, holding out a neatly wrapped box.

Your heart leaps.

Jungkook?

You rush over, fingers fumbling as you tear open the wrapping, only for your stomach to drop.

It’s from your parents.

Disappointment washes over you, but you push it aside. They went through the trouble of sending you something, and you should be grateful. You take a deep breath, forcing a smile as you pick up your phone and call them.

"Thank you," you say, voice steady. Because at least someone remembered.

There was still time.

It was only evening plenty of hours left before midnight. Jungkook would surely text before then. He had to.

Joy, noticing your gloomy mood, tries to lift your spirits. "Come on, let’s go out drinking. Have some fun, at least for your birthday."

But you shake your head. "I’m not in the mood."

She sighs, clearly frustrated but doesn’t push you. Instead, she flops onto your bed, staring at the ceiling. "I hate this," she mutters. "I hate seeing you like this. And I hate him for treating you this way."

Her voice is laced with anger, but there’s something else there too—guilt.

Because deep down, Joy still blames herself.

If she hadn’t sent that gift early, if she hadn’t tried to play cupid, maybe things wouldn’t have turned out this way. Maybe you wouldn’t be spending your birthday like this waiting for a boy who might never come around.

Jungkook didn’t text that day.

He forgot your birthday.

You waited all day, checking your phone every few minutes, hoping for a message that never came. Midnight passed, and still nothing.

The realization settles deep in your chest, heavier than you expected. You feel pathetic.

Pathetic for hoping. Pathetic for waiting. Pathetic for still caring.

It’s the day before Valentine’s Day.

You can’t afford to miss any more classes. You haven’t stepped foot on campus since your birthday, but today, you decide to go.

You have no motivation to see or talk to anyone. You tell yourself that you’ll just quietly attend your classes and head straight back home. No distractions. No unnecessary interactions.

But as soon as you reach campus, you notice a crowd gathering. There’s some kind of matchmaking event happening for Valentine’s Day tomorrow.

Great. Just great.

Everything about it feels like the universe is mocking you, rubbing salt on an already raw wound. Heart-shaped decorations, pink confetti floating in the air, and couples laughing completely oblivious to how suffocating it feels for you.

You try to move past the crowd, but suddenly, someone pushes forward, and you get caught in the chaos. You stumble, losing your balance and bracing for impact—

But you don’t hit the ground.

Because Jungkook catches you.

His hands grip your arms, steadying you out of instinct. His touch is firm and warm, familiar in a way that makes your chest ache.

For the first time in days, you look up at him. And for the first time in days, he looks right back at you.

He doesn’t let go of you immediately.

His grip stays firm, his fingers pressing into your arms like he’s grounding himself, like he’s hesitating. His throat bobs as he swallows hard, his lips parting slightly like he’s about to say something.

The music playing in the background fades into a distant hum. Everything around you slows. The laughter, the chatter, the festival lights it all blurs.

All that’s left is him.

Still holding you.

Your voice barely comes out, a whisper against the space between you.

“Do you even care, Jungkook?”

His hands tighten for a fraction of a second. His jaw clenches. And for a brief, fleeting moment, you think you see something something raw and unspoken flash through his eyes.

But then, like a switch flipping, he lets go.

So fast that you nearly stumble again.

"No, Y/N. I don’t."

His words cut through the air, sharp and merciless.

Then he turns. Walks away.

And you’re left standing there, alone in the middle of a festival meant for love.

This is it.

This is your answer.

Jungkook has made his choice.

And now, it’s time for you to make yours.

You have to move on.

That night, you decide. Jungkook was never meant to be yours.

It’s a painful truth, one you’ve been avoiding, but tonight, you accept it.

Needing a distraction, you start clearing out your closet, pulling out old clothes, forgotten trinkets, anything to keep your hands busy. That’s when you see it.

The pink heart-shaped box.

Your breath hitches.

You had snatched it from his hands that day, barely able to meet his gaze before bolting out of his apartment and driving straight back to your dorm. You had shoved it deep into your closet, hoping that if you buried it away, you could bury your feelings too.

For a moment, you consider throwing it away. What’s the point of holding onto it now? Jungkook knows. He read the notes, saw every piece of your heart laid bare. And in the end, it changed nothing.

Your fingers tremble as you lift the lid.

One by one, you pull out the little folded papers, unfolding memories you once held so close.

"I don’t know when it happened, but one day, he became my favourite person."

"His laugh is my favorite sound."

"I wish he knew how much he means to me."

Tears blur your vision.

You never wanted him to know.

Because you never wanted to lose him.

And now, you have.

The weight of it crashes over you all at once, and before you can stop it, the tears spill over, hot and relentless.

You clutch the notes to your chest as silent sobs wrack your body.

You’ve been holding the pain in for too long.

So tonight, you let the dams break.

And you cry yourself to sleep.

It’s Valentine’s Day.

You feel miserable.

Forget having a Valentine this year, you don’t even have a best friend anymore.

So you stay in bed all day, buried under the covers, refusing to acknowledge the world outside.

Your mind drifts, unbidden, to last year’s Valentine’s Day.

You and Jungkook had gone out for dinner not as lovers, not as anything more than friends, just two people who didn’t have dates. You remember how he laughed at the terrible restaurant music, how he stole fries from your plate like they were his.

You miss it.

No—wait. You shouldn’t be thinking about him.

Shaking off the thought, you grab your Nintendo Switch and start playing, trying to distract yourself.

Then the doorbell rings.

You ignore it. Joy is probably home she’ll get it.

But it rings again.

What is Joy doing?

Then it hits you that she probably stayed over at her boyfriend’s place last night.

With a groan, you push off the covers and make your way to the door. You swing it open, ready to shoo away whoever it is—

But there’s no one there.

Your gaze drops to the ground.

And then you see it.

A singular jar, placed carefully on the doormat.

You stare at the jar, a strange sense of familiarity creeping in, but you can’t quite place it.

Where have you seen something like this before?

Your mind scrambles for an answer, flipping through memories like pages in a book, but nothing surfaces.

With hesitant fingers, you reach down and pick it up, feeling the cool glass against your palm. It’s heavier than you expected.

That’s when you notice the writing on the lid, scrawled in red marker.

"To Y/N."

Your heart stutters.

You blink, trying to steady your breath, but the moment feels unreal—like you’ve stepped into a dream.

It’s only then that you notice the jar is filled with tiny rolled-up notes, crammed inside like secrets waiting to be unraveled.

Your mind starts spiraling.

What is this? Who left it? Why does it have your name?

Your hands tremble as you twist the lid open, the slight pop of the seal echoing in the silence.

You reach inside, fingers brushing against the countless little slips of paper.

With bated breath, you pull one out.

You carefully unroll it, eyes scanning the words scribbled in rushed, familiar handwriting.

"I lied."

That’s all it says.

Two words.

Your breath catches in your throat as your eyes trace the messy yet unmistakable handwriting.

Jungkook.

Your fingers tighten around the note as your pulse quickens.

It’s his.

The realization slams into you with a force that leaves you momentarily stunned.

Your breath turns shallow as the memory crashes into you—

Yesterday.

The crowd. The music. The overwhelming blur of people around you.

You had stumbled, nearly falling, only for Jungkook to catch you. For a fleeting moment, he held you close. His grip was firm, his expression unreadable.

You had searched his face, your voice barely above a whisper.

"Do you even care, Jungkook?"

You had wanted him to say yes. Even a little. Anything to make the ache in your chest feel less unbearable.

But instead—

"No, Y/N. I don’t."

His words had cut deeper than you ever thought possible.

And then he had let go. So fast, like touching you had burned him. Like you meant nothing at all.

You remember the way your heart had cracked, the way he had disappeared into the sea of people, leaving you stranded in the middle of a festival meant for love.

But now... Now you stand here, gripping a jar full of his words.

"I lied."

Your hands fumble as you reach into the jar again, pulling out another note.

Unrolling it with shaky fingers, you read:

"I thought if I pushed you away, it’d be easier for you to move on. But the truth is, I don’t want you to."

A sharp pang strikes your chest.

Your mind reels, and suddenly, you're back at the rooftop party—drunk, vulnerable, spilling your heart out in slurred words.

“I liked you, you know? But now I realize I was just wasting my time.”

Jungkook had stood there, silent, unreadable, his hands stuffed in his pockets.

No apology. No denial. Nothing.

And then, just as effortlessly, he had turned away.

"You'll be fine," he'd said before walking off, leaving you alone in the cold night.

The memory burns like an open wound, and yet, here you are, standing in your doorway, holding the truth he should have told you that night in the palm of your hands.

Your fingers tremble as you pull out the next note.

"I missed your birthday on purpose because I wanted to give you something that lasts longer than a text."

Your breath hitches.

He didn’t forget?

He chose not to text?

A bitter chuckle escapes your lips, but it fades just as quickly as the weight of his words settles in.

You reach into the jar again, pulling out another note, heart pounding against your ribs.

What you didn’t know was that Jungkook had spent hours writing your birthday note.

He had sat at his desk that night, a dozen crumpled papers around him, rewriting the same message over and over, never satisfied. His hands had been shaky when he finally folded the note and slipped it into the jar.

Because words were permanent.

Because he was afraid.

Because deep down, he knew that if he told you how much you really meant to him, he wouldn’t be able to push you away anymore.

And that terrified him.

Your grip on the jar tightens as you pull out the next note.

"I was scared you’d see me in the library that day. And you did. I almost stopped writing. But I wanted to finish this for you."

Your breath catches in your throat as a memory rushes back—

The library.

That afternoon, when you had finally dragged yourself back to campus to study for your exams, you had seen him sitting at your usual table, scribbling something into his notebook.

At the time, you thought nothing of it until you watched him tear out a tiny slip of paper and slip it into a jar.

A jar.

The very same one you now hold in your trembling hands.

Back then, you had turned away, assuming it was for Hana.

But it wasn’t.

It was for you.

Every note in this jar was for you.

Your vision blurs as you stare down at the tiny rolled-up messages still waiting to be read.

He had been writing to you all along.

By the time you reach the last few notes, your hands are trembling. Maybe you can’t even read them through the tears clouding your vision. The weight of all those misunderstandings, every ignored confession, every painful silence, every moment you thought he didn’t care, crashes down on you all at once.

Your breath is uneven as you unroll another slip of paper.

"You thought I didn’t care. But I did. I always did."

A sob escapes your lips, the ache in your chest unbearable.

You clutch the jar against you like it’s the most precious thing you’ve ever held because it is. Because it’s him.

Every unspoken word. Every hidden feeling. Every truth he was too afraid to say aloud.

And now, you finally know.

Your breath catches as you reach the bottom of the jar, realizing the significance there are exactly 100 notes, just like the box you once gave him.

With shaky hands, you pull out the 99th note.

“I was always bad at saying things out loud. So I wrote them instead. I just hope it’s not too late for you to read them.”

Your chest tightens.

You take a deep breath and reach for the last note, your fingers trembling. Slowly, you unroll it, heart pounding in your ears.

“Y/N, will you be my Valentine?”

The paper almost slips from your fingers as your vision blurs with fresh tears. A shaky laugh escapes your lips, somewhere between disbelief and overwhelming emotion.

After everything, after all the silence, the pain, the misunderstandings he’s finally saying it.

And suddenly, all that matters is what you’ll do next.

The moment the words register, you don’t think.

The jar nearly slips from your grasp as you scramble to your feet, your heartbeat hammering louder than the thoughts racing through your mind. Jungkook. He couldn’t have gone far he must have just dropped it off.

You fling the door open, barefoot, barely even stopping to grab your keys. The cold air bites at your skin, but you don’t care. You sprint down the stairs, nearly stumbling in your rush to get outside.

Your eyes dart wildly around the street, your breath coming out in frantic puffs. Where is he?

Then, you see him.

A few feet away, Jungkook is walking slowly, hands in his pockets, head low like he’s already bracing for disappointment. Like he’s already convinced you won’t come after him.

But you do.

“Jungkook!”

He freezes.

You don’t stop running until you’re right in front of him, breathless, clutching the jar close to your chest like it’s the only thing anchoring you to the moment.

His eyes widen when he sees you messy hair, no shoes, trembling hands still gripping his gift like it’s the most important thing in the world.

You swallow hard, voice shaking. “Did you mean it?”

Jungkook looks at you for a long moment, the night stretching between you like a fragile thread.

Then, barely above a whisper, “Yeah.”

Your chest heaves, breath uneven, voice shaking as you clutch the jar tighter.

"You absolute jerk." Your voice wavers, but the anger, the hurt, the sheer weight of everything he’s put you through spills out in every word. "You sat there, letting me think I meant nothing to you. And the whole time, you were—" You shake the jar, almost laughing in disbelief. "—writing these?"

Jungkook doesn’t answer. He just stands there, hands stuffed in his pockets, jaw tight, like he’s bracing himself for whatever you’re about to say next.

"You could’ve just told me, Jungkook. You could’ve just—" You pause, gripping the jar like it’s the only thing holding you together. "Why? Why lie to me?"

He exhales sharply, his voice rough, like he’s been holding it in for too long.

"Because I was a coward."

You blink. You weren’t expecting him to admit it so easily.

Jungkook runs a hand through his hair, looking away. "I thought pushing you away was the right thing to do. If I let you think I didn’t care, maybe you’d move on. Maybe you’d find someone who wouldn’t hurt you like I did."

Your throat tightens. Your fingers dig into the glass of the jar. "You were the one hurting me, Jungkook."

His eyes finally meet yours, and the weight of them almost knocks the air from your lungs. He looks wrecked.

"I know." His voice is barely above a whisper.

"Then why?" Your voice trembles, frustration bubbling over. "Why did you let me think I was chasing something that wasn’t even there?"

His jaw clenches, and for a second, he doesn’t answer. But then, his voice comes, low and raw.

"Because I was afraid you’d realize you deserved better."

Silence settles between you. A silence so thick it presses against your chest, making it hard to breathe.

You stare at him, your vision blurring. You should walk away. You should scream, cry, or do anything. But instead, you do the only thing you can think of.

You reach into the jar, grab a note at random, and shove it into his hand. "Read it."

Jungkook hesitates. Then, slowly, he unfolds the paper. His fingers tremble as he reads the words he once wrote.

"If I had been braver, I would’ve told you every single day how much you meant to me."

He sucks in a sharp breath, gripping the paper like it’s the only thing keeping him grounded. His eyes flick back up to yours, burning with something you can’t quite name.

"Say it now," you whisper.

Jungkook's breath catches. His grip on the note tightens like it’s the only thing keeping him together.

You wait. Trembling, heart pounding, eyes locked onto his. Daring him to finally, finally say it.

He exhales shakily. His voice is low, rough like it hurts to speak, but he does anyway.

"Y/N…"

You don’t look away. Don’t let him run from this.

His throat bobs. His hand curls into a fist at his side, then slowly unclenches.

"I love you."

A sharp inhale cuts through you. Even though you were waiting for it, the words hit like a tidal wave.

Jungkook shakes his head, almost laughing, but there’s no humor in it just raw, aching regret.

"I loved you then. I love you now. And I don’t think there’s a single version of me that won’t love you."

Your vision blurs, the weight of everything pressing down on you all at once.

"Then why—" your voice cracks, "—why did you let me think you didn’t?"

Jungkook exhales sharply, raking a hand through his hair. His face twists with something close to pain.

"Because I was scared." His voice is barely above a whisper. "Scared that if I let myself have you, I’d ruin you. Scared that you’d wake up one day and realize I wasn’t worth it."

Your hands clench at your sides. "You don’t get to decide that for me."

He nods. Swallows hard. Takes a step closer.

"I know." His voice is softer now. "And if I could go back, I’d do it all differently. But I can’t. All I can do is stand here and tell you—"

Your lips crash into his, years of longing and heartbreak unraveling in a single, desperate moment. Your fingers fist into his jacket, pulling him closer, closing the distance like you’ve been waiting forever. Because you have.

Jungkook catches you. His arms wind tight around your waist, grounding you, anchoring you like he’s afraid you’ll slip away again. His grip is firm, unyielding, as if holding you is the only thing that makes sense anymore.

The kiss isn’t soft it’s frantic, raw, filled with all the words you never got to say. It’s a confession, an apology, a plea. His lips move against yours with urgency, pouring everything into it, like he’s trying to make up for every second he spent pushing you away.

Jungkook tilts his head, deepening the kiss, and a shiver runs through you as his fingers tangle into your hair, tugging just enough to make your breath hitch. His other hand spreads against your back, pressing you impossibly closer, like even this isn’t enough, like he’d fuse you together if he could.

You melt. Every wall you built, every ounce of anger, every misunderstanding crumbling, dissolving into the heat of him. The way he kisses you feels like an answer to a question you didn’t know you were asking. Like a promise.

When you finally pull apart, neither of you lets go.

Jungkook rests his forehead against yours, his breath mingling with yours, still uneven, still shaken. His hands remain on your waist like he’s afraid that the second he lets go, this will all disappear.

Your fingers stay curled in his shirt, gripping the fabric like it’s the only thing keeping you grounded.

His voice is raw when he finally speaks, barely more than a whisper. “I don’t deserve you.”

You exhale, shaking your head, the weight of everything still pressing against your chest. Your voice is quiet, but steady. “Then spend every day proving that you do.”

Jungkook lets out a soft laugh one that sounds broken and real, like he can’t believe he’s still allowed to have this moment with you.

“Deal,” he murmurs.

And then he kisses you again.

The door barely clicks shut before Jungkook is on you again, his hands framing your face as his lips crash into yours. There’s no hesitation now, no careful restraint only heat, only the raw, aching need that’s been simmering between you for far too long.

His body presses against yours, pushing you back into the door, and you gasp against his lips. He swallows the sound, deepening the kiss, his tongue sweeping over yours with slow, deliberate intent. He tastes like something addictive like want, like longing, like the kind of hunger that makes your stomach tighten and your knees go weak.

Your fingers tangle in his hair, pulling him closer, needing him closer. His hands roam down, slipping under the hem of your shirt, fingertips skimming along your bare skin. His touch is scorching, leaving a trail of fire wherever he moves. He pauses, his breath ragged, lips barely brushing yours.

"Tell me to stop," he murmurs, voice rough, uneven.

You shake your head, tilting your chin up until your lips ghost over his again. "I don’t want you to stop."

The words break something inside him.

His mouth crashes onto yours again, hungrier this time, more desperate. His hands slide up your back, pulling you flush against him, and you can feel the hard lines of his body, the way his chest rises and falls unsteadily against yours. One hand grips your waist, fingers digging in just enough to make you shudder, while the other slides lower, gripping your thigh and hitching it up against his hip.

A quiet moan escapes you at the feeling, and he groans in response, pressing harder into you. His lips leave yours, trailing a path down your jaw, to the sensitive spot beneath your ear, where he lingers. His teeth scrape lightly against your skin before he soothes it with his tongue, sucking gently, enough to make you arch into him, enough to make your breath hitch.

"Jungkook—" His name leaves your lips in a breathless whisper, and he exhales sharply against your skin, like the sound is enough to undo him.

His grip tightens as he lifts you effortlessly, hands settling under your thighs. Instinct takes over, and your legs wrap around his waist as he carries you across the room. He lays you down on the bed with care, but there’s nothing careful about the way he follows you down, covering your body with his own.

He hovers above you, his breath warm against your lips, his dark eyes searching yours. His thumb brushes over your cheek, then lower, tracing the curve of your bottom lip, his touch unbearably light.

"You’re sure?" he whispers, voice thick with something heady.

Your only answer is a whispered "Yes," breathless, certain.

Something shifts in him at your words. His lips find yours again, but this time, he takes his time exploring, savoring, as if he wants to memorize every inch of you. His kisses trail downward, along the curve of your neck, across your collarbone, his mouth mapping out a path of heat and sensation. His hands move with just as much purpose, slipping under fabric, pushing it aside, fingers tracing bare skin with an intimacy that makes your pulse stutter.

Every brush of his lips, every slow, deliberate touch sends waves of electricity through you, igniting something deep and primal. Clothes are discarded in slow, teasing movements, the heat between you building with every layer that falls away.

His lips ghost over your shoulder, down your arm, over the curve of your breasts, his breath hot and uneven. He watches you, eyes dark with something intense, something almost reverent, as his fingers trace slow, lazy patterns along your bare skin.

"You’re so beautiful," he murmurs, voice filled with something deeper than desire.

You reach for him, pulling him back up, needing his mouth on yours again, needing more. He obliges, kissing you fiercely, like he never wants to stop, like this moment has been waiting to happen for far too long.

His hands explore moving towards your heat, his touch reverent yet possessive, like he’s memorizing every inch of you, like he’s making up for all the lost time. You arch into him, breath hitching, hands gripping onto his shoulders as heat coils low in your stomach.

"Jungkook," you whisper, his name falling from your lips like a plea.

His breath catches, and he exhales shakily. "I’ve got you," he murmurs against your skin, voice barely above a whisper. "I’m right here."

And then there’s no more talking only movement, only passion, only the feeling of finally, finally being exactly where you both belong.

The air is thick with warmth, bodies tangled beneath the sheets, hearts pounding in tandem as the last echoes of your shared breaths settle between you. The world outside might still be turning, but in this moment, it doesn’t exist. It’s just you and him, skin against skin, the weight of what just happened pressing down like the softest, heaviest thing in the world.

Your body is spent, muscles trembling faintly from the aftershocks, but you don’t move. You can’t.

Jungkook is still holding you. One arm draped lazily around your waist, the other tracing absentminded patterns against your back. His touch is slow, soothing, like he’s still trying to convince himself you’re real. Like if he lets go, you might slip away.

You stay like that for a while, chests rising and falling in sync, your head resting just above his heart. The rhythm of it is steady now, no longer racing like it had been just moments ago. Still, there’s a softness to it, an unspoken question lingering in the quiet space between you.

It’s you who finally breaks it.

“So…” You shift slightly, fingers trailing absentmindedly along his chest. “Hana knew about the jar?”

His hand stills for the briefest moment before he exhales a small, breathy laugh. His voice is thick with exhaustion, but there’s amusement in it too.

“She didn’t just know about it.” His fingers resume their slow, idle circles against your bare skin. “It was her idea.”

You blink. “…What?”

Jungkook hums in confirmation, the corner of his mouth quirking up. “Yeah. She was the one who told me to do it—to fill a jar with everything I wanted to say but couldn’t.” He pauses, then adds, “She also threatened to expose me if I didn’t.”

You scoff, though you can’t help the warmth blooming in your chest. “So let me get this straight… You couldn’t tell me how you felt, but you told Hana?”

Jungkook turns his head slightly to look at you, eyes still heavy with sleep, but the amusement in them is undeniable. “I didn’t tell her. She just… figured it out.”

Of course, she did.

You huff, feigning annoyance, but your fingers betray you, tracing soft, aimless patterns along his collarbone. “Still. She knew before I did.”

Jungkook grins, rolling onto his side to face you fully. One hand slips beneath the sheets, finding your waist, pulling you closer until there’s no space left between you. His voice is low when he asks, “Are you jealous?”

You glare at him. “Shut up.”

His laughter vibrates against your skin, rich and warm, before he dips down to kiss you, like he’s trying to pour everything he can’t say into it. When he finally pulls back, his forehead rests against yours, his breath mingling with yours in the quiet.

Then, softer now, more serious, he murmurs, “Are you gonna answer me?”

Your brow furrows slightly. “Answer what?”

Jungkook leans over, reaching toward the nightstand where the jar still sits, its notes untouched except for the last one.

“The question,” he says, retrieving the single unfolded slip of paper. He holds it between you, and even though you already know what it says, your heart still stutters when your eyes skim over the words again.

Y/N, will you be my Valentine?

Earlier, you had left it unanswered, too overwhelmed by everything that had come before it. But now, after everything after confessions, after heartbreak, after finally finding each other again—there’s no hesitation.

You reach out, plucking the note from his fingers. Slowly, carefully, you fold it again, tucking it beneath your pillow like something precious, something worth keeping. Then, meeting his gaze, you whisper, “You never needed to ask.”

Jungkook exhales, slow and shaky, like something inside him has finally settled. His hand cups your cheek, his thumb brushing over your skin like he’s memorizing the moment.

“Good,” he murmurs, voice thick with emotion. “Because I wasn’t planning on taking no for an answer.”

Your breath catches. Not because of his confidence but because, deep down, you realize you’d never wanted to say no in the first place. Maybe you had tried to fight it. Maybe you had convinced yourself that the past had built too many walls between you. But now, lying here in the warmth of his arms, the truth settles into your bones like something that had been waiting for you to accept it all along.

It had always been him.

Your fingers tighten in the sheets as you search his gaze, looking for hesitation, for doubt for something to make this feel less like a dream. But there’s nothing. Just him. Just you. Just this moment you both fought so hard to reach.

Jungkook watches you, waiting, always waiting, his hand still resting against your cheek as if he’s afraid you’ll disappear.

So you close the distance.

You kiss him slowly this time, letting it sink in. The warmth of his lips, the taste of him still lingering, the way he exhales like he’s been holding his breath for years. When you pull away, his forehead rests against yours, both of you breathing the same air, hearts beating in time.

And then, with a quiet, knowing smile, you whisper, “Then don’t.”

Jungkook’s lips part slightly, his expression shiftingas if those two words had knocked down every last barrier between you. And maybe they had. Because before you can say anything else, he’s pulling you against him again, tucking you close, his hand slipping into yours beneath the sheets.

Neither of you speak for a long time after that. You don’t need to.

Outside, the world keeps turning, time moving forward just as it always does. But here, in the hush of your dorm room, wrapped up in him, it feels like the universe has paused just for you.

Not to make up for lost time.

But to remind you that some things—some people—were never really lost at all.

And maybe, just maybe, they never would be.

EPILOGUE : Years Later – Valentine’s Day

The door clicks shut behind you as you step into the apartment, kicking off your shoes with a tired sigh. The evening air still clings to your skin, carrying traces of laughter and the lingering warmth of Jungkook’s presence.

It had been another perfect night one filled with inside jokes, stolen bites of each other’s food, and his usual exasperated attempts to get you to pick a restaurant instead of saying, “Anything’s fine.”

Jungkook is nowhere in sight, giving you the solitude you need. You don’t hesitate. Your steps are purposeful as you cross the room, crouching down beside the bed. With practiced ease, you reach under the frame, fingers brushing against the familiar surface of a small pink, heart-shaped box.

But this time, there’s something else.

Your fingers find the jar, the one that started it all.

You pull them both out carefully, as if they were a fragile secret, and place them on your lap.

Soft footsteps approach. Then, a familiar weight sinks onto the mattress beside you.

Jungkook’s voice is quieter now, fond. “Didn’t think I’d see those again.”

You smile, running a thumb over the worn edges of the box before glancing at him. “I don’t know what made me reach for them.”

He hums, gaze flickering between the objects in your hands. “Habit, maybe. Or fate.” Then, smirking, “You always did have a thing for digging up answers.”

Rolling your eyes, you pop the lid off the jar, fingers fishing out an old note. The paper is creased, the ink slightly faded, but you already know what it says.

"Y/N, will you be my Valentine?"

Jungkook watches you, expectant. “You never actually answered me, you know.”

You exhale a laugh, shaking your head. “Jungkook, we’re literally married.”

“And?” He leans in, teasing. “I’m just saying, a verbal confirmation wouldn’t hurt.”

You scoff but humor him anyway, fingers curling into his sweater as you whisper against his lips—

"Yes, Jungkook. I’ll be your Valentine."

His arms wrap around you, pulling you in. The jar sits forgotten on the floor, the pink box nestled beside it.

Once upon a time, you had pulled it out, searching for clarity. Looking for a sign.

You didn’t realize then you never needed the answers inside.

Because you’d already found them.

Because you’d found him.

And maybe that was the answer all along.

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thank you so much for reading! let me know what u think about it <3

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