#like literally the only logical response to this is to stop normalizing abuse everywhere

[slimyenemy]

whatever *kills everyone*

[franki-lew-yo]

I really hate 2d purists. No, not 2d animation. Not 2d animators.

2d purists.

The sad thing is it’s gotten to the point that I really cringe hearing any pro-2D sentiment at all. I hate the arguments I agree with because how often they're misused and weaponized by idiots.

Let me make my stance here clear - 2d is NOT appreciated and 3d is used for everything! The layman Karen-mom who doesn’t have an artistic bone in her body looks at stupidsmooth 3D Grubhub ads and assumes quality cause it “looks more real” (aka ‘rendered’). I know as much is true because I literally have a member of my family who told my sister and I that she thinks 3d is better (and also that she “tolerated THOSE movies for us kids”. Touching words. My sister was taking an animation course by the way). Combined that with the studios either using 2D for cheap stuff or finding good 2d animation too “costly”, I get it and I’m not even any animator. I'm just a worm an illustrator.

but holy HELL -

There’s a backlash from the artistic community that's it's own kind of insufferable and deserve to be addressed.

“(insert2Danimatedfilm) is better BECAUSE it's 2D!”

followed by: "Animation is a visual medium and the quality of the art affects how much the story means !!!!”  

Yes. Totally. Animation is a visual medium and the look and style is important. Sadly, people use this excuse to really obnoxious ends, insisting that design being pretty is '' everything ''. When you treat a movie more as a special effects demo I get why you talk about the artistry at hand; but I’m sorry, visuals are not the only thing important and it’s why I’m also getting sick of the sameElsafacesyndrome rants too! There’s this attitude that's reads as "but it LOOKS better fromaproductionimage/teasertrailerwhichapparentlyisindicativeof all themovieactuallyis so it MUST BE better".

-“3D should only be used to make things look realistic!”

I think I know the logic this criticism is made in response to, and that’s the Sony + Illumination films which look just as good in 2D as they do in three dimensions. I know it feels like people are twisting this medium to try and make it like a classic cartoon when by all means people can and would love a classic cartoon being a classic cartoon. That I get- From the unsung 2D animator’s perspective, that’s more than valid !

But it’s a huuuuuuge slap in the face to 3d in saying it should only be used for "realistic animation" because

1: It’s not like realistic animation could age badly or look uncanny in the next few years. It's almost like technology is constantly improving, which I guess 2d animation never did and it was always the same technique and quality as every film that came after it.

2: The industry does treat 3d as a magic-moneymaker for this reason. Just listen to these people call the 2019 LION KING “live action” as if they’re embarrassed to call it animation. It IS animation! It would be impressive if you acknowledged that what it is, but like the CATS, you basically are treating it as just a neato tool to better your live action and not it's own artform - which it is!

3: By this “three-deeonly gud when real liek in da toystories” non-logic I guess 2d should ONLY be for flowyflowy SPACE JAM cartoons and maybe some Disney*. Just that though. You can’t do anything more with 2d. It’s never supposed to be realistic I guess. Good thing Richard Williams only did 'toons' and just toons that’s why we need 3d in the world I guess.

Wait no - that’s stupid.

"I HAVE to see the “Land Before Time 14″ when it comes out! I mean it’s a 2D animated film!"

Lost in the aether that is Youtube comment chains removed from kid's videos is a stream of this very VERY stupid argument supporting the buying of the 14th LAND BEFORE TIME film because it’s supporting 2D. My sister and I can be found on that chain arguing against this stupidity. All you have is my word, but trust me: it really did happen.

I’m sorry but...no.

Unless you have a friend or a family member who worked on these movies there’s no reason to see this and ESPECIALLY no reason to insist it’s a win for the 2D community if you buy up this crap - and I'm not judging if you do like it, but come on! LAND BEFORE TIME 14 isn't where your money should go if you really like this medium.

What’s so infuriating about this argument is you can tell it’s made by nonanimators. Real animators will tell you to support their movies cause they want some respect for their artform which is why there’s such a push from the PRINCESS AND THE FROGcrowd that you SEE and LOVE every 2d thing out there, regardless of how good it is because any recognition for it is k i n d o f what they're after!

Kiddy sequel schlock isn’t even in the same ballpark as KLAUS or WOLFWALKERS; these films DID have very limited theatrical runs (Klaus so it could be nominated; Wolfwalkers in places where theaters opened up after Covid) and should have been supported because they were labors of love made by people who love animation.

As other people have already pointed out, one of the reasons for the lack of interest in 2000sera2D animation is that the only films released alongside critical+financial 3D hits were cheaper 2D films that either coincided with daytime tv shows or should have been just direct-to-video. It’s not to say art couldn’t come out of these flicks, but dayum if it wasn’t abused as much as the texture software that era's CG used... Point being, should the world ever go back to normal: If you hear about an out-of-town showing an acclaimed 2D animated film, make time to trek out and see THAT!

Don’t give your money to see yet another made-for-tv movie on the big screen because all that tells the studio is: “yeah 2d IS cheap and only good for cheap stuff let’s just keep it cheap. Only 3d is important 8D 8D 8D !!!"

“I don’t understand how it works. So it sucks.”

This text is from an ANIMATOR btw.

“I don’t understand how it works” and “it’s just some computer rendering” is the exact same wave of logic the people who prefer cgi use.

The plebian Karen I mentioned earlier? She understands the basics of 2D animation as much as you did from one of those cruddy flash classes you took in middle-school. She 'understands' the basics cuz she watched how it was made on the DVD features or maybe back on the WONDERFUL WORLD OF DISNEY. To her, the illusion is broken and she’s not impressed by 'just some drawings on paper'. You, an animator, know the process is more complicated and is intrigued by knowing how it’s made - not bored or disinterested -

Neither you nor Aunt Karen have really good cg-animation software at your house and unless you ARE a 3D animator you probably DON’T know all the ins-and-outs of how these movies are modeled, rendered, and animated.

Aunt Karen is bedazzled by them cause she doesn’t know how it works and the technical aspect makes her brain hurt so it might as well be magic and she can feel like a cool kid sharing Minion-memes. Aunt Karen is the nonartistic type who just wants to feel safe. You're not. You want to feel challenged.

I get it: you’re pissed off cause you’re in a field no one, including Aunt Karen, appreciates; told to work in cg which it's an artform you didn’t devote your life to and told to learn it cause THIS style sells! 3D is everywhere and is starting to look like 'garbage' even if you don’t animate 3D models yourself you just KNOW, I guess. Besides, you know all there is to know about 2d!! You know all there is to possibly know about this artform and have to fight this 'war' against "r e a l" animation! And I mean even when 3d software is there to use, it's not like you can actually make anything worth while in it, especially not anything that transcends the medium. Right Worthikids?

TL;DR: This argument is basically just " BWAAAAH I’M NOT GONNA USE IT I HAVE STANDARDS (a chip on my shoulder cuz art should be what I deem it to be) "

“PRINCESS AND THE FROG is-”

There’s a reason I can’t say I truly like PRINCESS AND THE FROG even though it's not even a bad movie! Like, stop reading this and watch PATF if you haven't it's good. It's my 'FROZEN', in that; I see a lot of potential in it I just think it needs some serious rewriting and that bugs me. Always have felt that way, tbh.

I dislike this movie because the response from the animation community seems to be it was perfect and the Academy was just Pixar-crazy with UP ((ftr, the Academy IS Pixar’s bitch and I personally advocate a sequel be made to WAKING SLEEPING BEAUTY about Mike Eisner’s sabotage of the 2D department at Disney which is still in place now!- but that’s a story for another day)). I’m sorry but UP was just a better story. So was CORALINE. So was FANTASTIC MR. FOX. Honest to god it feels like poor PATF is brought up as just a talking point and never for it's own worth as a labor of love - which it was! I'd like to honestly know: had PRINCESS AND THE FROG come out now and been cg if it would have even half the defenders for it because now it doesn't "look" like how a Disney movie "should" look...

If you like PatF more than the currant Disney lineup because of it's culture, it's music, it's feminism, it's black representation? Awesome. Great. Those things should be appreciated and I never want that taken away from you. But if you seriously think PatF is better just for how it was animated and looks - I lowkey may hate you.

“ALL OF DISNEY’S LATEST MOVIES SHOULD HAVE BEEN 2D! THEY ALL LOOK AWFUL IN 3D!! ALL OF THEM!”

TANGLED, FROZEN, and MOANA? Yeah. Sure. But um, e x c u s e y o u- WRECK IT RALPH sooooo doesn’t work in 2d! It could have used different between the various worlds but it’s about hopping through different video games. I’m also of the opinion that ZOOTOPIA and BIG HERO 6 are fine the way they are. Their 3d is awesome.

The latest fairy tale Disney films are really big on their place alongside the 2D canon esp in marketing. They keep trying to mimic 2D to varying results though I don't think it works as well as the movie's I'd previously mentioned. Me personally, I would love a mix of 3D and 2D technology, like if the backgrounds in FROZEN still got to be 3D but the characters were handdrawn and shaded ala KLAUS ((sweet sigh)). But even then are they truly unwatchable just based on how they're animated to you?

MOANA would have been incredible in 2D but for the record - I don't think it feels out of place in it's style. It reminds me more of a Pixar movie with the heart of a Disney classic which is it's own just as good.

“2D is the oldest form of animation and it’s being replaced.”

Actually, if we’re talking animation in film, stop motion is the earliest form of animation. The stop motion animated THE ADVENTURES OF PRINCE ACHMED and TALE OF THE FOX predate Disney’s SNOW WHITE. And yes: stop-motion IS still a form of animation even if it’s a serious of pictures taken of real life things and not drawings, so don’t you dare come at me with the "but that's not animated"/"Technically it’s LIVE ACTION" crap or I’ll envoke the spirit of Sandman to get you at night.

“Every animated film would look better in 2D! Even PIXAR would look better in 2D!”

Again, Stop Motion.

No, I mean it.

Lemme ask: Would ISLE OF DOGS or FANTASTIC MR. FOX carry any of the same effect if they were generic 90s toons? I know NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS wouldn’t. Christ, don’t even get me started on Svankmajer!

Sometimes the problem is that a movie is envisioned with a specific artform in mind. Pixar started out with toys and bugs for a reason and that’s cuz they were always gonna be a 3d studio and they needed to first overcome the placisity of the models. Over the years they’ve gotten really good at effects and blending unrealistic proportions with real textures (and also not so much- ONWARD and THE GOOD DINOSAUR really needed some different character designs and yeah, I do think would have looked better with a 2d artstyle, but not the ones they had in their films. THE GOOD DINOSAUR needed more realistic-speculative looking dinos and ONWARD needed a grittier HEAVY METAL/BLACK CAULDRON appeal to its designs.) My point being that the problems with these movies aren’t even inherently the animation as much as it is a problem of style. As someone who runs a group speculating different styles and designs for movies and tv shows I’m all for envisioning a 2D ZOOTOPIA or Bluth-inspired FNAF. That’s amazing!

But that’s also the talk of fan artists and nerds and not the professional artists working on visualizing their stories!!

Since I ate, slept, and breathed NIGHTMARE in my youth I’ll use it as an example: All the concept art ever done for TNBC was on paper and 2D was used in the final film. However, even when Tim Burton was thinking of making it just a tv special it was always going to be stop-motion. NIGHTMARE’s puppet cast do work very well in two dimensions, believe me, but the film was made as a love letter to Rankin/Bass and the art form of stop-motion. Skipping to another Henry Selick-helmed project (haha), JAMES AND THE GIANT PEACH was also always envisioned as a multimedia film to give it a truly dream-like atmosphere. If you know anything about Henry Selick you’ll know he’s 1) a perfectionist, and 2) loves mixed media and different types of animation and puppetry at once. That’s why he was the perfect pick to direct TNBC at the time, why JAMES AND THE GIANT PEACH and CORALINE are so beautiful and why MOONGIRL, his only fully 3d film, doesn’t have the same appeal.

As for what films I couldn’t imagine NOT being 3D? Probably; 9, Padak, Next Gen, Soul, Finding Nemo, the Toy Story films, Wreck-it-Ralph (as previously mentioned), Wall.E, Waltz with Bashir, Robots, Inside Out, Arthur Christmas, The Painting, Happy Feet, Shrek, Enter the Spiderverse, Megamind… just naming a few here.

“I want a traditionally animated film [and by that I mean a 90s-Disney/Don Bluth looking movie] of ‘x'-popular live action/stage thing!”

Okay I’m cheating a bit but it’s my blog and so I’m gonna stick this one in because it’s related.

When I see musings about wanting live-action or CGI shiz to be in 2d again a lot of the time this argument actually boils down to " I want this to look like a 90s Didney movie ". Or, if it’s about animals - " I want it to look like a Don Bluth film! "

Like...there ARE other styles of animation out there...you know that right?

Frack, Disney themselves tried different styles throughout the 90s it’s just that the peak of the Disney renaissance films (LITTLE MERMAID, BEAUTY AND THE BEAST, ALADDIN, THE LION KING) and the many imitators that followed tended to have the same look to them where only film/animation nerds kept watching into the era that was TARZAN, HERCULES, and ATLANTIS along with the kids. Aunt Karen wasn't singing Part of your World in the carride with you every day.

The Don Bluth argument is especially irritating because...what exact feeling do you WANT from a movie if it looked Bluthish? Each of the four ‘quintessential’ Bluth movies (NIMH, AMERICAN TAIL, LBT, and ALL DOGS) have such a different feel to them that’s complimented by that style; SECRET OF NIMH is a drama about wild animals trying to understand humans; LAND BEFORE TIME is even more squarely about an animal’s perspective as there’s literally no humans around; AMERICAN TAIL uses animals stowing away on the ship to tell a story about refugees; and ALL DOGS GO TO HEAVEN is ALL DOGS GO TO HEAVEN.

What the frack are you even asking for with that because I think there’s a certain flavor to the Bluth-styled oeuvre as well as the 90s Disney catalogue that would clash too much stylistically with some films.

Also come on! Like some Bluthian-style 2d would really fix THE SECRET LIFE OF PETS or SCOOB!, bite me.

I think this fixation solely on these two hand drawn styles and nothing else is based on nostalgia goggles, refusing to step outside the norm and discover different films and feelings than Disney and Bluth, and just preference. Goin back to NIGHTMARE there will always be a special place in my heart for Henry Selick’s stop motion, but I couldn’t imagine CHICKEN RUN or ANOMALISA in it's unique style.

Also I’m tired of every time there’s a "lets make an animatic to ‘x’ musical theater song" it’s reliably just Disneyesque or realistic. WHY envision an animated version of the show at all if it doesn’t have A STYLE to it??!?! I’m sorry but 90s-Disney does NOT fit CABARET!

“3D is so CHEAP now! Why can’t they just do 2D again?”

I think - on the cusp of the 2020s and the Grubhub hatedom, there ARE changing times ahead for 3d and 2d. The general public are starting to get tired of the same looking 3d films and wanting some 2d back, but they don’t have the best resources or opinions on animation to know what it is they want. Meanwhile, the animation community + industry is trying to figure out what to do and you have a lot of turmoil between the monopoly that is the industry, the high standards of the artists, and the mixed wants of the animation fanbase deciding what art needs to be.

It’s a tough business. And in the spirit of that tough business - maybe DON’T act like the means of a film’s production is solely your control, that you know best, and know definitively what the artists should have done....cuz you don't. Sorry my fellow criticalfanomanalysist-folks we DON'T and in an age of standom where fans and critics think it's okay to hackle indie animation studios about not getting their pitched cartoon out fast enough - we need to reserve these discussions to our circles and not treat them as gospel.

3d animation and 2d animation have to share this world. Stop acting like they’re either interchangeable in terms of budget, means of production, or artistry or that one has to be superior to the other.

The industry already says one art form is better (spoiler: it’s always live-action), we don’t need anymore of this purist garbage. Just stick to what you like while trying new things on the side. Be critical while also being compassionate. And remember:

[magemelondew]

I know I don't normally post stuff like this, but I just hate it so much when people call Wheatley derogatory names like "idiot" and "moron" as if it's affectionate and funny because like.. it's straight up bullying. How do I know that? Oh, well, it's probably because people did it to me as a child.

Sure, he's a fictional character, but my point still stands; calling him those things is bullying. He wasn't made to be stupid. GLaDOS tells you that. You can't exactly take everything she says at face value, as she can often mislead. It's like a rumor going around at school, you hear something about someone and it spreads and nobody stops to think if it's true. By just blindly believing things about people, you're causing harm to the person in question, and especially so when you're promoting it.

If you dig around in the game's files, an unused line has Wheatley telling a story in the turret factory where he explains that rumor got around about an accident he had caused.

"Over there is where they used to keep the old neurotoxin release button… BIG responsibility, the guy in charge of the neurotoxin release button… And guess who he WAS? …Wasn’t me. But I was his assistant, and I did a lot of his admin. You know, in the end, yes… they let me go… It’s all politics, to be honest. It’s a big popularity contest. It’s all about who you know and whose back you’re willing to scratch and who doesn’t touch – y’know, or in my case who did accidentally touch – the neurotoxin button… But y’know, not entirely my fault! You shoulda seen the SIZE of it! It was huge! I mean I should have got a raise for all the times that I DIDN’T… accidentally bump into it…"

The foreman was going to hire him, until he heard about what Wheatley had done. So they sent him to the lowest job available– the relaxation center. He doesn't have a job, really, he's not in charge of anything. The entire facility there is automatic, He was just there as a safeguard for whenever it failed. They didn't trust them because of those rumors.

"Here's an interesting story. You might like this. I almost got a job down here in Manufacturing. But, uh, guess who the foreman went with? Only an exact duplicate of himself. Nepotism. Ended up giving me the WORST possible job, tending to all the smelly humans."

It's possible that these things were intentionally made up to give him social anxiety and self-esteem issues, thinking that would slow GLaDOS down. He's all emotion, literally, so affecting him in that fashion would absolutely stunt her ability to think clearly. I don't think there's much proof to back this up, that's simply my own thoughts on it.

To the scientists and GLaDOS, emotions only get in the way of rational thinking. Wheatley listens more to his heart than his head, well, in a figurative sense. The scientists see that as irrational and moronic, hence him being called the intelligence dampening core. He's the perfect way to interrupt rational thinking in GLaDOS, as he fills her head with fear or anxiety. People who feel emotions a lot deeply tend to place their own feelings over logic. And later in the story, Wheatley valued the euphoric response that the chassis gave him.

Many people have hurt Wheatley in the past. His anxiety, self doubt, and his inability to trust others much all are effects of people talking about him being his back and having nobody to cling to. He liked Chell because she knew nothing about him. She didn't say anything mean to him, and it was like a fresh pallette. Not to mention that she was the only person he had probably seen for long time.

For someone who had been hurt by people all his life, wouldn't he absolutely hate humans altogether? They smell bad, talk bad things about him behind his back, and call him names. They made him dislike himself since the start of his life, but he still holds out hope to be cared for by someone. Someone who doesn't know him at all, or knows about the things people have said about him.

And when he's placed into the chassis, GLaDOS just blurts out the one thing he's extremely insecure about.

"YES YOU ARE! YOU'RE THE MORON THEY BUILT TO MAKE ME AN IDIOT!"

When wheatley gets the chassis, it's a form of drug use, as said by GLaDOS.

"The body he's squatting in - MY body - has a built-in euphoric response to testing. Eventually you build up a resistance to it, and it can get a little... unbearable. Unless you have the mental capacity to push past it."

His bottled up emotions just released and he exploded the moment he got reminded of his own past. The way he was mentally lead him to substance abuse, as shown by his immediate addiction to the chassis. He was highly focused on the pleasure response from testing rather of the facility. Well, not like he even knew how to take care of the facility in the first place.

He's a core who's been told off because of how clumsy and impulsive he is, and those are things he can't really control. They didn't know what to do with him, so they were probably always scolding him for his mistakes and never praising him for doing something right, therefore, he's always doubting himself. How is he supposed to know when he's doing something right? That's probably why he makes those mistakes, he's never been able to properly learn how.

GLaDOS tries to defeat Wheatley out of sheer anger, and when she insults him, he becomes furious. He doesn't want to be reminded of how he's been treated his entire life. And for once in his life, he has the power to retaliate. So he does. He gets legitimately angry and tries to kill them both.

He thinks that now that Chell believes it too, that she thinks he's an idiot as well, since he's never had anyone stand up for him or have his back. He spends a lot of his time in the chassis trying to prove otherwise. He just hates being thought of that way so much when he knows he's not.

"You're in this together, aren't you? You've been playing me the whole time! Both of you! First you make me think you're brain damaged! Then you convince me you're sworn enemies with your best friend over here!"

A lot of people might bring up the paradox that she tried to use against him as proof as he's unintelligent, but really, he's simply choosing not to listen to GLaDOS.

"Hey, Moron!"

"Oh. Hello."

"Alright. Paradox time. This. Sentence. Is. FALSE don't think about it don't think about it..."

"Um, true. I'll go with true."

"I'll be honest, I might have heard that one before, though. Sort of cheating."

He's not thinking about it because he didn't care what she had to say. He saw her as just another asshole in his life and acted ignorant towards her comments.

He's also the only character in the game who apologizes. Nobody else does except him.

Yes, he's just a fictional character and whatever, I know, he's not real. But.. let me tell you why this is so important to me.

When I was a child, I had a lot of issues with other people. They would call me a crybaby, they would spread rumors about me doing disgusting things and other horrible things. Even my teacher didn't like me. I was diagnosed with ADHD at a very young age, and that made me very emotional and sensitive, making me stand out from everyone else.

Nobody wanted to spend time with me, nobody wanted to sit with me, and I spent most of my time alone in the library playing computer games since the kids outside wouldn't even let me play with them. Kids were scared of even touching me because of Diary of A Wimpy kid books spreading the idea of the cheese touch, and everything there called it the Sarah touch. It was horrible. Bullying made me introverted and now, I spend all my time alone because I didn't have friends. I'm sensitive and insecure, and I have issues communicating with people, as well as taking things people say a bit too personally sometimes. By the end of elementary school, I only really had 2 friends.

Although my experience isn't the same, I know that a lot of these things are similar; being singled out because of things you don't understand or have control of, and people constantly spreading rumors and lies about you to make people hate you and avoid you. You learn to not trust people around you and that you're the only person you can really rely on.

Sure, you can keep thinking Wheatley is a moron, I can't help that. All I want is people to stop spreading it everywhere and look into it for themselves. To develop their own opinions based on his actions rather than what GLaDOS says about him. I just want people to know that they're doing the same exact thing the kids at school did to them as a child to Wheatley, and it's not right.

Thank you for reading. Sorry if this was a bit all over the place, I just want people entering the fandom or have been in it for a while to see this and take some kind of action to improve upon themselves and their views of others around them. I used to think the same thing. I thought he was a power hungry idiot, but.. he's not. And I think that should be more widespread knowledge.

[feeling-uncomfy]

EYY SHOUTOKO TIMEEEE

Mafia AU part two, featuring a tiny tsundere and a tall himbo. What more can I say? They're a mess

So, warnings are as follows-

- gore/blood

- mentions of abuse(brief)

- kidnapping/drug mention

If there are anymore, they'll be specified at the beginning of the part-

Hope you enjoy! :D

After the fiasco that was Tokoyami getting kidnapped, Hawks had become paranoid. He downright refused to let his little brother out of the apartment they shared for the first two weeks, and his little brother was practically stabled to his side when he was allowed back in the building.

Tokoyami didn't mind at first, though after a while he started to get annoyed. He wanted to have just one moment of peace, and the only way he could get it was by going to the bathroom. But if he took too long, Hawks would freak out and break the door down.

It was like he'd developed some form of separation anxiety, he couldn't stand being apart from his little brother. It ended up turning into an argument between him and Endeavor, and what a sight that was. Hawks and Endeavor rarely fought, but when they did, it was lengthy and loud.

Todoroki and Tokoyami never usually minded, but at this rate it had been a week and they were still arguing over letting someone come over and help upgrade the security.

"Will they ever shut up?" Todoroki asked, raising his voice to be heard over the yelling. Tokoyami shrugged, looking over at his older brother and Endeavor. "I hope so, I'm getting tired of the yelling," for some reason, both of them froze after Tokoyami's words. Ah, right, the last time this had happened, Dabi had made an appearance.

Luckily, he was nowhere to be seen, and they both relaxed. Hawks stopped yelling, a true miracle, and Tokoyami looked over.

Hawks seemed to be thinking about something, whatever it was, he was obviously putting a lot of thought and consideration into it. This could either be great for the company, or an absolute disaster for it.

Most likely the latter, knowing Hawks.

Hawks sighed. Endeavor had suggested asking Gang Orca, another high ranking class boss in this world Hawks had grown to call his, to come help with the security. He was very skilled in negotiations, very persistent and persuasive. One thing Hawks knew the man prided himself on was security. Best of the best.

And he wasn't bluffing, either. Hawks had heard stories, seen things. That man was bigger than the three fully decked bodyguards that followed him around. But Hawks knew that it didn't change a thing. If needed, the guards would lay down their life for him, and surprisingly, Hawks was told the favour would be returned. He didn't dare question it.

He'd only met the man once, and he'd describe him as something like a helicopter parent. He was paranoid like all hell, and kept a close eye on the hallway leading up to where he was staying, though Hawks never figured out why. Nor was he told. Apparently it was one of the reasons he was gunned at so much, no one knew what he was hiding.

He'd seen him fight. It was friendly, and yet Hawks still winces at the memories. The man did not hold back, for whatever reason. Apparently the two had a dispute and settled it over a fight. It was brutal even despite the rules set up. Hawks swears he can still hear the sound of teeth cracking.

Aside from that, he was a respected and respectful man. He was polite when others were, and knew what he was talking about. A real leader, and under that wall of brute force Hawks was told there was a soft side to him. One that obviously wasn't shown often.

Hawks knew having his type of security would insure his little brother's safety, he knew it'd be ten times safer. But that didn't mean he was comfortable with this high ranking man who could easily snap his spine in two wandering the place he kept his plans.

Hawks sighed again. Logically he knew he couldn't turn it down. But that didn't mean he had to he comfortable! He didn't like the fact that if he wanted his workplace safe, everything would have to change. Everywhere would be searched and moved.

Endeavor spoke up. "Hawks. Any security I have to offer, or anyone else has to offer would pale in comparison. You want better security, let him do his job." Hawks bit the inside of his cheek to avoid immediately snapping back. Once he was composed, he started speaking. "I'm aware of that, but forgive me if I don't want someone who could easily use all these details against me to snoop!"

Endeavor fired back immediately with a response. "He's not going to snoop, he asks that all important files and documents are taken out, stored correctly, and then once he's done you can put them back," well, that made Hawks feel a little better, but he wasn't convinced.

"He completely reorganised your office! What's to say he won't do that to mine?!" Endeavor gave him a deadpanned stare. "Your office could use reorganising."

The gasp that tore out of Hawks's throat made Tokoyami and Todoroki turn their heads quickly, only to see Hawks with his hand placed dramatically over his heart. "Reorganising?! I'll have you know it's an 'organised mess' bitch! I know where everything is!" Hawks yelled indignantly, honestly offended.

Endeavor just stared at him with a look that screamed 'bitch really?' making Hawks even more mad. Before the petty argument could continue, Endeavor forced them back on topic. Right, security, letting Gang Orca go through his organised chaos.

The only reason he was even considered it was because he wanted Fumikage safe. Other than that? He didn't care, he didn't want to know. Yes, his security was shit, he was aware. But fully decked out bodyguards? Was it really necessary?

Not for him, for Fumikage. Hawks reminded himself that he was doing this for his brother's sake. His safety came first. Always.

"Fine. He can come help." The words were forced out, and it actually hurt Hawks to say, but he said it. Wasn't that enough?

Endeavor nodded and pat his shoulder. "I will have him meet you tomorrow at the earliest," he turned to Todoroki. "Shouto, we're leaving."

Tokoyami and Todoroki seemed to have a mental conversation before Todoroki snorted and stood up, walking over to his father and standing by his side. Tokoyami stood and made his way over to his brother's side. It felt like second nature at this point.

Hawks and Tokoyami said their goodbyes, and the Todoroki's left. Tokoyami looked up at his brother. "Do you want to tell me what that was about?" Tokoyami was, as of late, not in the bests of moods. He was irritated with the constant having to stand by his brother's side and then not get to know why he was even there.

Hawks pat his head. "We're upping our security, that's all," Tokoyami sighed. "The security here is fine, I don't see why you're bothering." Hawks looked down at his brother. His literal will to live, at some points. Hawks brought him in for a hug. "I'm not gonna risk losing you like that again. Ever."

For Hawks, this was a promise. A promise never to let his brother be put through that again. A promise to make up for what happened, he was serious. Never again.

For Tokoyami, it simply felt repeated. He'd heard those words so many times over the past four weeks that Tokoyami wasn't even sure if he meant it at this point.

Nevertheless, Tokoyami was reassured slightly. He trusted Hawks, he trusted his brother. He knew he wouldn't let them down. He knew that Kiego wouldn't let it happen again.

At the end of the day, he trusted his brother.

Hawks pulled back first, and the two went home as normal. Tokoyami curled up on the couch, checking his phone, as normal. Hawks was taking calls and ordering food for them. There was a small dispute on the kind of food. Spicy or plain? Choices were difficult sometimes.

A compromise was made, normally they'd take turns and get one over the other, but recently they've been getting a little bit of both, and now they couldn't remember the order they went in, so the two just agreed to get both each time.

So they sat there, eating their meals, playing video games until Tokoyami couldn't keep his eyes open. Hawks called it quits then and the pair went to sleep as normal. And, almost like a schedule, Tokoyami's nightmares began.

They were all identical, but they scared him shitless without fail every time. The noise of the drill, the pain he felt when it dug into his bones, the face of his kidnapper standing over him one second, laying dead the next.

The word "murderer" kept playing over and over and over again and it wouldn't stop. He couldn't stop it. How much longer until he killed Hawks? Todoroki? He couldn't- he didn't want to—

Tokoyami opened his eyes to the roof, again. He looked around expecting to see the body of Shigaraki, only to him Hawks laying lifeless. No, no surely he didn't do that. Tokoyami wouldn't.

Would he?

Tokoyami ran to his brother's side, shaking him as the rain fell. "Kiego...?" Tokoyami's voice cracked, and when he didn't get a response, he shook harder. "Kiego! Kiego get up! Please–"

Over and over, until Tokoyami couldn't tell the difference between "Kiego" and "Murderer" he screamed.

"Kiego!" Tokoyami sat up with a start, looking around the room. Not a roof, but rain hammered down on his windows like tomorrow wasn't coming. Maybe, a terrible part of Tokoyami thought, maybe Kiego's tomorrow wasn't coming.

Before Tokoyami could even work on untangling himself from the bed sheets, the door burst open. "Fumikage-?! What's wrong!?" Kiego was there, he was alive- he wasn't—

Tokoyami let out a dry sob, curling into himself. One look at the shitty weather and Kiego knew what was wrong. "Hey, it's okay.." helping his brother out of the mess of bed sheets, Kiego noted the tremors and the eye bags his younger brother sported, making him look older.

Kiego hated that his little brother looked like that, he shouldn't. He should be happy, healthy, and not afraid of getting kidnapped every second day. It's not fair on him, but they both knew life wasn't fair.

Kiego gently coaxed his brother to move out from under the sheets, and the two sat there hugging. They weren't sure how long, long enough for Tokoyami to fall asleep again, that's for sure.

Hawks was woken by his phone the next morning, and froze when he saw Gang Orca's ID flash across his screen. He didn't give him his number, or name for that matter. Nevertheless, he picked up.

"Hello?" Hawks's voice was soft, not wanting to wake up his brother. A deep voice answered, sounding like he's been awake for hours. Maybe he was.

"This is Hawks, correct?" Hawks blinked tiredly before answering. He sounded as intimidating as they made him out to be. "Yeah, that's me. What's up?" Gang Orca moved something on his line. "I was told you needed an update on your security?"

Hawks paused. "Yeah.. I do," Endeavor really wasn't pulling his leg when he said that earliest would be tomorrow. "Very well, I will be down to you're office if that's alright with you?" Harks agreed, shaking Tokoyami awake. Gang Orca was silent on his end.

Hawks thought of saying something, but he was beaten to it. "I'm going to be bringing.. my-.. son," Hawks blinked in surprise. "You have a son?" Hawks couldn't keep the blatant surprise out of his voice. Hawks didn't think to question the hesitation when Gang Orca said 'son' though in hindsight, he probably should have. He could then feel the guy's glare on him.

"Yes. Is there a problem?" Hawks did not like the threatening undertone of his words. He didn't like it at all. "No, sir. Just taken by surprise." That was true, but still, it felt like a lie. Gang Orca sighed. "We'll be over in twenty, tops."

[And that's part one! Hope you're ready, I'm not all that good with writing ships, but I'm getting better (I hope)]

[See you at part two!]

[vexus-u]

Anti discourse is eating fandom from the inside-out at the moment. This sort of thing is everywhere in the past few years, because the minority of people who gun hard for that sort of thing are so widespread, self-assured, and so ready to drop vile accusations at the drop of a hat that they are almost impossible to ignore.

I feel like a lot of people see this going on but don’t want to talk about it or comment on it, because they’ve seen the sort of fire that can be drawn if you don’t toe the line absolutely. People skirt the issue, or avoid talking about it, because really, who does want to deal with that whole mess? Who wants to risk the backlash? And then there are the folks who haven’t engaged closely enough to see through the buzzwords; the people who see a post that proclaims that it’s condemning “real pedophiles”, and like any outsider rightly would, thinks, “oh God, that’s awful!” and clicks reblog.

It’s a good camouflage, maybe even the best. I feel like these people might even have one-upped the TERF posts claiming to rail against misogyny, but by analogy at least I think people can be shown what’s really going on.

If we are going to make fandom a safer and less toxic place, I think we need to start facing this behavior head-on and stop averting our gaze as a community. As an individual it’s hard, I know. But there are real world consequences; self harm, mental illness, and suicide attempts (believe me when I say that I know from experience), that cannot be swept aside as easily as antis/fandom police can proclaim that anyone who disagrees with them simply deserves to die. If you’ve ever had tangential contact with that sort of discourse and have internalized what these people say as the norm, I think it would benefit you to take a step back and realize how unhealthy a mentality that is to have. It’s easy to denounce anyone who questions you as a degenerate unworthy of life. Makes things a lot easier for you, but I think that we all know where that can lead.

If you are reading this and truly are unaware of what I’m talking about, let me give you a brief run-down. I don’t have the time or the stomach to jump into this discourse as deep as the rabbit-hole goes, but I will give some context as to where I am speaking from. I am a queer woman with clinical OCD. So called anti-shipping/anti-fic/fandom purity discourse started appearing in my sphere round about four years ago, and pretty much nothing since has been as dangerous to my mental health. I cannot begin to sum up how much self-hate and anguish this sort of gaslighting has resulted in for me, but let me tell you, it’s been bad. My compulsion to deal with this sort of thing tends to manifest as anxious research, and so, trust me. I know what I’m talking about here.

Namely, if you are a complete outsider, there is a school of thought that has taken root in certain younger fan communities, among groups that feel like they lack control over the world at large. As fandom is often the main community that these folks have (I counted myself among that crowd), this frustration has evolved into an reactionary ideology that takes ideas about the cultural impact of fictional works in our society to ludicrous, absurd extremes.

Ideas about poor portrayals having the potential to convey negative ideas to a reader have evolved into the creation of a code of morals that frames any interaction with fiction as a form of moral advocacy for that which it contains. Shipping is reframed as an expression of beliefs about desirable relationship dynamics. Depictions of abuse are reframed as advocacy for abuse. The concept of romanticization, which usually is only applied to ideas in the context of otherwise contextless mainstream works without prior warnings, is transformed into an indictment of any depiction of any that could be perceived as harmful which is not followed by an explicit condemnation of said act. This becomes even more absurd when you consider that these attacks are often aimed at fanfiction which has already been tagged with explicit warnings for the reader. Always invoked to justify this is the spectre of “negative influence on the children”, but this is both neither the responsibility of random internet users operating in adult-tagged spaces, and also, as with the video game violence scare of the 90s, mostly unjustified fearmongering.

Perhaps even worse, this logic is extended to fictional elements that might be thought to recall certain negative ideas in the mind of the reader. Short characters are, fairly offensively, dubbed “child-coded”, and it is verboten to include them in any adult works. Similarly, adult AUs of younger characters which include sexual content are condemned simply because the characters concerned were initially portrayed by a different author as younger! This leads into a deeper rabbit hole, where fictional characters, who are plot figments with no “real” version or portrayal, are effectively reframed as if they were actual people, who can be harmed by the way that they are portrayed in fanfic. In some extreme fringe cases, I have actually seen this been expressed literally; by invocation of alternate realities in which fiction is real, or through otherkin.

These people will claim glibly that they are fighting against real abusers, and who would want to hear what a dirty abuser might say in response? But don’t be fooled. This lens is almost solely turned back on people in fandom communities who are most vulnerable, and is driven by an underlying fear of sex, sexuality, queer expression, and perceived “degeneracy”. Any slight excuse to construe a transformative work as impure is taken as license to reframe the author or artist as scum, and therefore worthy of the harassment they will ultimately receive. Tellingly, the most affected groups are often queer women, and this sort of thing can and does destroy lives and careers. Moreover, the vicious cycle of social pressure and retribution for stepping out of line ensures that this toxic ideology holds people who step into it in its grip, lest they be expunged from their communities. Sight is lost of the fact that, at the end of the day, all that the perpetrator is guilty of is creating fanwork that some people might find distasteful.

There’s a lot more to say which I won’t, but I will stress again that the harm that this sort of thing is doing cannot be underestimated. It’s an insidious and toxic mode of thought that seeps into communities through the buzzwords it leverages - accuse somebody of being a pedophile and people pay attention! But these words are being misused, and this discourse distracts from actual predators even as it is cause for unjustified targets to be suicide baited, driven from fandom spaces, and vindictively destroyed. People who already suffer from mental health issues, and especially anxiety disorders such as OCD, can be driven to self-destruction by the repeated accusations and gaslighting. We need to remind people that these behaviors are not normal, are not the righteous causes they present themselves as, and are not tolerated. In fandom communities particularly, I honestly believe that this issue is one of the most insidious and dangerous that we currently face. Fandom has become nominally progressive, at the expense of trojan horse ideologies such as the anti/purity discourse positioning themselves as too risky to shout down.

I think it is time to stop turning a blind eye, recognize what is happening in our communities, deradicalize the people who are responsible for the harassment, and try to fix some of the damage that has already been done.

[scholarly-squid]

Being involved in science right now is... weird.

First post on this blog! And this one sure is going to be a doozy. Long post ahead.  I mean long.

In this time of COVID-19, being on social media has been what can only be described as an absolute nightmare.  I’ve been studying a STEM field at my university and I’ve had involvement in laboratories for years now.  Let me tell you something - this whole experience has been painful to watch.  I’m used to people, on both left and right ends of the political spectrum, passing judgement on what scientists do and how they do it.  Science is so wonderful because it is so cutting edge, but that does lead to controversial topics coming up fairly frequently.  Ethical debates, be it about testing methods or AI or what have you, are always swirling around on the internet. Thankfully, there are teams dedicated to determining ethical guidelines for this sort of debate. 

The problem with what I’ve seen on the internet lately is that there is very little scholarly debate about what actions to take, many experts are in agreement, and when scientists make an educated decision, people blatantly disregard it using a number of opinionated, jargon-heavy excuses.  Examples abound:

 I shouldn’t have to wear a mask because they said at one point that masks aren’t necessary and now they say they are. Scientists are untrustworthy.

Scientists only want to lie to you about COVID-19 so they can make more money off of you.

Well if scientists are so smart, what about this one time when a scientist did something bad?

Scientists are all elitists, trained by universities to use and abuse the common man. 

There are plenty of ways I would absolutely love to poke holes in these arguments I’ve seen later, but that’s besides the point.  The issue with these statements popping up everywhere is that there is no way for scientists to refute them logically.  Not because the arguments are right, but because they are completely illogical and based in fallacious reasoning. 

Fallacies are really easy to fall for, and a distrust of science only makes their roots dig deeper into our society. I understand though why they are so popular.  It gives people a reason to think they are different, or somehow defying the status quo, in a society where individualism is held to the highest regard (for me the US).  They also provide an easy solution where there isn’t one.  In scary times like the ones we are in, it feels good to rely on something you know, something comforting, as opposed to something you don’t know.  Science is by nature experimental, new, and groundbreaking, and that’s pretty scary.  People in the general public tend to lack a strong basis in understanding fallacious reasoning, because its really, really tricky to grasp, and isn’t frequently taught in classrooms.  I don’t want to sound like some preachy kid from the debate team or something, because believe me the last thing you should be doing to help people on the internet understand what they’re reading is yell “ThAt’S a FaLlAcY” because it will only make them feel bad, and in response, angry and defensive.  But understanding when you hear a fallacy yourself is one of the most important things I’ve ever been taught in my life. If you are unfamiliar with fallacies and want a list to keep handy, here’s a good start.  This can help you and perhaps others understand whether what they’re reading is a good source, or if the arguments are flawed.  

But why this desire to distrust science in the first place? For one thing, science has been made into the one thing it shouldn’t be: Political.  The call from the Right is typically that progress as a whole is bad unless it has been privatized, because academic scientists are untrustworthy, government agents who have been trained to look down on the rural middle and working classes of America. The call from the Left has honestly been somewhat similar, though perhaps less vocal: that major scientific progress is the work of private, rich medical companies, who don’t care about their impact on people or the earth, and that holistic methods (think essential oils, anti-vax movements, etc) should in part or entirely replace peer reviewed medicine.  Both of these views may be extremes.  But when your sweet Republican Great Aunt Mary, who has never been educated in collegiate level, or much high school level, STEM or logic courses, sees her friend Susan from the Community Republican Facebook page, post her piece about scientific elites trying to squash middle America, Mary has no way to refute it logically and it is associated with the group she is already involved in, and Mary sympathizes with Susan because she knows and trusts her.  And when Mary sees a Democrat refute it, it causes her to dig her heels in even more and double down on her support, because of how partisan politics in America has become.  If you’re not right, you must be wrong.  The same goes for the Left, of course.    

Another reason for distrust: as scientists we don’t do well communicating our findings to the public in a non-biased, yet easy to digest way.  Our knowledge comes from and is displayed in peer-reviewed, dense as hell articles that involve confusing acronyms, long Latin or Greek names and phrases that one would need a high-level physiology course to understand, and figures that screw with the head to look at without deep knowledge of statistics.  I’ve read and written scientific articles, and let me tell you, they’re absolutely awful and intimidating to look at and I hate how they are written (and I’m writing this, which is also dense and awful and intimidating.  I’m trying my best to consolidate I promise). Its no surprise that people who are unfamiliar with these topics would have a difficult time understanding them, and that could cause some to get bruised pride.  

The issue then lies in people attempting to become more scientifically literate through sources that aren’t straight from scientists.  News media, Facebook pages, Clickbait, all of that loves to make money off of clicks.  Its amazing how quickly “a chemical found in small traces in blueberries found to reduce some plaques in xyz brain region in mouse study” becomes “Could the Cure for Alzheimer’s be BERRIES?!” That sounds a whole lot more final and wrapped up and spectacular than a small minor change.  Then comes the issue of scientists in the media saying they know end all be all.  Elon Musk yelling about needing to reopen the economy, or Neil DeGrasse Tyson giving a talk on areas of science in which he is not an expert (despite training in astrophysics), is a whole lot more interesting to people than Normal Nancy giving an hour long talk on a specific subset of a specific subset of a specific subset of virus with zero intonation or emotion.  Sensationalized science is science that sells, even if it isn’t right, and people start to think of these individuals in the media of what a scientist is supposed to look like.  As a community, I respect scientists with all my heart.  Overall though, we do need to come up with a better way to reach people who aren’t open to us.  Have scientist approved websites, pages, and magazines that are specifically for the lay public. We should avoid making sweeping statements or overextending our knowledge if we somehow do gain fame.By continuing the way we have, we further alienate ourselves.  I of course don’t mean sacrificing research quality, or dumbing down scientific publication. Just finding ways to talk to people in a more relaxed way.

I suppose what I’m trying to say here is people don’t hate science without reason, even if the reasons are flawed.  And distrust of science doesn’t mean people are inherently bad people.  Perhaps they are just ignorant, ignorant and stubborn.  But people who do profit off of not listening to scientists are truly putting people at risk for selfish gain.  The problem lies in that not listening to scientists is extremely dangerous, not just right now, but all. the. time. 

Why is it a danger that people don’t have the means listen to scientists? Obviously it currently is putting people’s lives at risk. Not wearing masks to public places, being so angry at policies one doesn’t understand that they spit and cough on people in retaliation, or march in massive groups to protest.  People who do these things are a danger to themselves and others.  But we have been building up to this point.  I saw an interesting op-ed recently about the death of the expert that made a few interesting points.  The advent of the internet has brought us so much access to wonderful information.  But without education on finding scholarly sources early on and with full intent to promote gaining wisdom from those with experience, it becomes a breeding ground for dangerous mistaking of opinion (or simply wrong fact) for fact.   Anyone online can say they are an expert.  Once a person’s mind is filled with ideas that align with their own belief system, especially from someone who claims to be an expert, no researcher, academic, or other scholarly source can convince them otherwise.  If “my PhD in biochemistry” isn’t enough to answer the question “Well what makes you qualified to speak on biochemistry?”, then we’ve run into a serious problem.  People who have the true information individuals are seeking have been neglected for sources that fit with people’s personal values.  Its a natural thing to have happen of course, but when everything is online, and there isn’t much one can do to stop misinformation through regulation, these beliefs spread like wildfire, and this creates demand for pseudoscientific and untrue actions medically, politically, or socially.  These aren’t just ideas, they manifest into actions which can actively harm people.  

Its a weird time to be a scientist because not thirty years ago, your word was taken as law by many in the public, and if it wasn’t, it wasn’t out there to see all over the internet.  Now we are hit with a serious health crisis and everything is online, and the truth rears its ugly head: that no one who really, really needs to wants to listen to your life’s work. No one is respecting researchers who work tirelessly to come up with vaccinations and tests.  While you spend day in and day out working late hours trying to come up with a means to save lives, people come back and spit in your face.  Science, especially in academia, has always been a somewhat thankless job, (save for the pay if you get really lucky), and many times people won’t understand you. They know you’re smart, but they don’t really know what about, and it can be difficult to convey.  But that simply comes with the territory.  What pains me most is the severe retaliation during a time of crisis, instead of a renewed understanding of the need for science.  I don’t consider myself a scientist yet, considering I’m still learning in college. But I can’t help but feel that if we don’t find a way to educate people, and quickly, my field will be useless.  Because it’s not science that makes a difference, it’s people adopting science to inform their decisions.

If you know a scientists right now, especially someone working in virology, epidemiology, specifically COVID-19, or really any other field of life science, please thank them.  Hell, all STEM fields, for that matter.  They are truly trying their best during a time when it feels like all rationality has flown out the window.  And if they have any advice for you, listen to them.  By listening to scientists, you set a precedent for those around you to listen as well, which could get us all out of this mess quicker and healthier.

If you have any questions or comments, pop by my ask box.  Or reply too, doesn’t matter to me. My blog is all about conversations about science, science culture, and science literacy, and this may be my first post but it won’t be the last. Also this was super long, confusing, and ranty, so if you want clarification please ask! And if I don’t have answers I will try my best to direct you to someone who does. 

All y’all stay safe, and be smart.